World Bowl XXVIII Everything Thread (IC)

by **Kaboomlandia** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 8:27 am

Phoenix win first game despite lengthy delay

In a game of driving snow and wind that was delayed four and a half hours due to a bizarre vehicular accident inside the stadium, the Kaboomlandia Phoenix defeated the Frenline Delpha Anacondas 34-16 in the first game of the World Bowl XVIII. Shortly before the game's scheduled kickoff, a truck carrying marijuana, on the run from the police, drove into the stadium and hit one of the goal posts, delaying the game until nearly midnight. The game began in earnest at 11:30 PM Quebecois time (which is about 7 AM Kaboomlandian time). The first half was an offensive battle, as Andrew Michaels demolished the Anacondas' defensive line to score two touchdowns. Michaels would finish with 137 yards and three touchdowns on the night, as Kendrick Dwyer scrambled to slow him down. The Phoenix' defense wasn't perfect either, as the wind immensely aided whichever team happened to be playing with the wind and hurt the other team. Late in the first quarter, Frenline Delpha's kicker landed an unbelievable 71-yard field goal to make the score 14-3. Midway through the second quarter:

"Moors looking to go to Leo Fall up the right side. He throws it up the side for Fall...picked off by Cam Johnson! Johnson's away! To the 30-yard line, 20, 15, 10, and now he's pushed out of bounds by Stan Vidaurri, but a beautiful pick by Cameron Johnson!"

The Phoenix would score on that drive, making the score 21-3. The second half was boring as the wind changed directions and started blowing across the field, wreaking havoc on the offensives of the two teams. The game was mostly a kicking contest in the second half, as Porter dropped in three more field goals while Caleb McCallum scored two. The Anacondas did get a late touchdown when Toby Sexton dove over the goal line, but at 34-9, it was too late for it to matter.

The Phoenix will next play Oisinistan, then have a bye before playing group giants Gregoryisgodistan.

by **HUElavia** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 8:39 am

HUElavia started World Bowl 28 witha big win on its first ever game! Quickly in the First Quarter Kurt Manning sent a deep ball into the hands of Malcolm Newton with 12:50 left in the quarter and took two points extra to make it 8-0. Maltaland then scored in the Second Quarter from a very deep pass and took two points as well making it 8-8. After a series of punts and missed field goals, Donald Cunningham scored with 2:30 left in the game to put it 15-8, and in an interception by Vontae Richardson with :30 left sentanced a loss to Maltaland, and th first ever World Bowl win for HUElavia.

by **Allamunnic States** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 9:14 am

"What's the matter, Godwyn?" Torren asked cheerfully. "Dontcha like the snow?" The fullback was eyeing the steadily worsening snow cheerfully. "I dunno about you, but it makes me think of home." Godwyn shot him a glare as he stuck his hands under his armpits, trying to keep them warm in case he would need to catch anything.

"You know I don't," he said, grumpily. "First, Onneria doesn't get piled with snow the way your frostbitten cities do, and second, we're not going to be able to catch a damn thing in this," he said. "Our offense will be one-dimensional." If anything, though, the latter words only made Torren's grin widen.

"I know! We're going to get to just run it down their throats. It'll be wonderful!" The fullback, perhaps understandably, sounded too excited by half for Godwyn. "Besides, falling onto snow hurts less than falling onto turf," he added. Braanur rolled his eyes before looking up and down the sideline. "Don't you need to get over there with Waldr and Wyatt?" he asked, reminding Torren that he was supposed to go out for the coin-toss. The newly-minted captain's eyes widened.

"Shit, you're right," he said, running down the sideline towards the other captains. Godwyn did allow himself a small smile, then. Not that he would let Torren see it, but he actually rather liked the young fullback. If there was anyone to get selected over him as the new offensive captain, he had decided, Torren was who it should be. The young 'un's blocking efforts and work as a utility player had largely led the offense in their last championship, and as much credit as the offensive line got (rightly so), their running game would not be half as effective without Torren opening holes.

The team's coin-toss captains represented a somewhat unusual smattering of positions. The offense was represented by a fullback, which was rapidly becoming a vestigial or over-specialized position on most teams. The defense, by a nosetackle, hardly the sexy star compiling the sacks and tackles, doing the unglorified, but essential work in choking the middle of the offensive line. Finally, by a punter, a position that, on teams featuring higher-octane offenses, were usually under-used, but were critical in the battle of field position the Regulars often found themselves playing.

Moments later, Godwyn was joined by Graagur Wyrth. Godwyn rather liked the new guy under center. He had nothing against Walder Grenn, or Izaak Kleiner (who had finally gotten to ride off into the sunset with a championship ring), but there was something endearing about Graagur and just how bland he was in many ways. A few people had said that Graagur was about as interesting as buttered toast, and, in all fairness to them, they were sort of right. Yet, Wyrth was a good-natured fellow who loved the game and his country, and his enthusiasm, goofy as it might have been, had actually bonded the offense into just as coherent a unit as it had been the year before under a canny veteran.

"Coach told you the plan, right?" Graagur asked Godwyn, watching the field that was slowly accumulating snowflakes. Godwyn shook his head.

"Nah, must have missed it. What's up?" he glanced at the tall, sturdy passer, musing at what the plan could possibly be other than 'run it, run it again, and then run it some more'.

"Before the weather gets too bad, we're going deep. Trying to put them on their heels early. Make them respect the pass," he said, smiling roguishly. "Everyone knows we run it. We're going to show 'em we can sling it, too," he added. Wyrth was clearly looking forward to it. "So Coach's already said our first play is going to be a deep play-action. You're running a go. I wanna see that tight-end speed you're always bragging about." With that, he clapped Godwyn on the shoulder. Braanur sighed and shook his head.

"Yeah, yeah, don't you worry, I got you," he replied, smiling himself now. Coming out swinging sounded good to him. At least coach isn't overly conservative. Not super aggressive, but he knows when to take chances, he thought. It was part of what had led to the team buying into their former offensive line coach-turned-head coach.

"...the call is heads!" the referee declared, "would you like to receive or kick?" he asked the Allamunnic captains. The response to receive, clearly in Wyatt Skode's voice, was given, and the kickoff return team started lining up. It took a minute or two, but soon, both teams were ready. Graagur and Godwyn watched anxiously as the kick was launched.

The ball tumbled through the frigid air, dark against the light-gray clouds that had blotted out the sun on the winter afternoon. They watched as Anna Eriklunn, a relatively small woman, stepped up under the ball, making a basket in her arms, before catching it securely, tucking it into a tight grip. Ball security was one of the things the Allamunnae had long prided themselves on, drilling endlessly on it, and it tended to show; fumbles did not come often to the team. There was not one now, either, as Anna streaked up-field, picked up a block or two, and started to break-away.

Unfortunately, one of the coveragemen on the Central Shadow Nation's team yanked her down by her jersey, dropping her at the Allamunnic 31. "Aaand that's our cue," Godwyn said, smiling piratically. Making sure his helmet was on securely, he and Graagur jogged into the field with the rest of the starting offensive eleven.

He was pleased to see the blue jerseys of the offensive line already lined up and settling down into their ready stances. A first-year full-time starter Tyrrus Ungur might be, but he had already mastered the job of getting the line set and ready so that the blocking scheme could be calibrated at the line. He saw large-bodied wideout Waldr Hoerst line up on the opposite end of the field, relatively alone, while Emma Kaarlsunn took up a place on Godwyn's side, further out, lined up a little bit off the line. Hoerst tend to get used as the split-end, so Godwyn knew he would be flush on the line on the other side, while Kaarlsunn tended to work better as the flanker, and so would be slightly offset. Godwyn placed his feet to the left of the left tackle.

Glancing over, he saw into the backfield. Wyrth had taken up a place directly behind Ungur, ready to take the snap under-center. Behind him, lined up in the I, were Torren at fullback and Ella Kaarbrynn, a little slippery girl at halfback. The team tended to use the Weak-I more, meaning that Torren was offset slightly to the opposite side that Godwyn was on. The run-heavy formation was the default the team tended to utilize, and their opponents adjusted accordingly, pulling up a 4-4 front as an adjustment, loading the box against the all-but-inevitable run.

Wyrth called out a signal. Godwyn recognized the play the signal matched to, and Godwyn adjusted his planned trajectory accordingly from the originally-called play by Coach Vaalburger. Wyrth's intent had been to audible into the play-action, but Vaalburger had initially dialed up a simple dive, which would be used if the Shadow Nation's players had not loaded the box. Perfect.

Graagur crouched down behind Unger, preparing to receive the snap. He called out the cadence, and on the second call, the ball was snapped. Wyrth took the ball and ran back, faking the handoff to Kaarbrynn. The play-action would have been less-believable if it were not for the way Torren hammered a defensive tackle back, while Kaarbrynn braced for impact. At the snap, the receivers had immediately taken off, although Godwyn was too much the tight-end to not give a little chip block to the defensive end on his way out.

That chip put the end off-balance enough that Torren Rikardsunn knocked him over a moment later with a vicious block. Even the linemen enjoyed play-action, since it let them attack the way they were used to on running plays. Mercifully, the linebackers had been caught with their pants down, and Godwyn streaked up an open seam in the middle of the field, wide-open. Using his long, powerful legs, he moved much faster than any tight-end had a right to, and, open deep, he saw the ball come sailing toward him.

Christ, but Wyrth's got an arm on him, he thought. The ball was zipping almost thirty yards downfield with the same velocity most quarterbacks were hard-pressed to put on a five-yard dump-off. It was a hard throw, but Godwyn was a tight-end and proclaimed security-blanket for a reason. He reached up and used his large hands and significant concentration to haul in the pass over his shoulder, catching it smoothly in-stride. The safeties had figured out what was happening, but not fast enough to close down a running lane. Godwyn turned on his burners and galloped downfield, with only a free safety catching him.

That safety, alas for the defense, was not big or strong enough to bring the tight-end down, who shrugged off an off-balance tackle and ran into the endzone. He saluted the crowd, which had a significant amount of blue-and-gray jerseys and coats in it, and, being the disciplined player he was, tossed the ball to the referee without much fanfare. He did, after that, though, fist pump rather impressively, drawing cheers from the Allamunnic fans present.

With the crowd still yelling and chanting, the Allamunnic offense quickly retook the field, ready to go for two. "Let's put them on their heels early," Vaalburger told them. They lined up in the same formation, but this time were ready to actually run. Unfortunately, working from a goal line package, the defense was able to stop Ella Kaarbrynn's sweep to the right just shy of the endzone, leaving the score at 6-0. Tempering the feelings of elation at the quick score, the offense ran off the field.

As Godwyn cleared the field, he cracked a grin, hearing the booming voice of Waldr Baersvylk, the hulking nose tackle. "Shek it uff, guys," he rumbled. "Dun' wurry, they're nut gett'n shit." Sure enough, the kick-off team pinned the CSN team deep in their own territory, and the defense stuffed the run twice before Olaf Rynnur, now playing a hybrid position, dragged their quarterback down for a sack, forcing a punt.

By this point, though, the snow was picking up (which would not have been nearly as much of an issue if the game had started on time, cursed water mains). So, when the offense took the field, the message Coach gave them was simple. Giving an evil smile, he told them:

"Alright, they respect the pass, now, I think. Now, go run that ball straight at them. They're on the ropes. So be black-hearted, and step on their throats," he told them during the media time-out directly after the kick-off. So that was precisely what they did. True to Allamunnic fashion, they won in the trenches, powered by the line, as well as Godwyn and Torren's blocking, bulldozing hapless defenders as Kaarbrynn and Bryndyn Traewyk ripped off solid gains throughout the day, interspersed with the odd pass here and there.

The defense did their part well, too, shutting down the Central Shadow Nation's offense, mauling their offensive line, laying a beating on their quarterback and tailbacks, and taking advantage of the inclement conditions to force several turnovers, either taking advantage of slippery balls or errant passes. The Allamunnae's superior experience with such conditions showed clearly. By the time the third quarter ended, the Regulars were physically dominating even more than the 24-0 score would have suggested, and Vaalburger began putting in (or at least rotating) more back-ups.

During the fourth quarter, their opponents finally answered with a 38-yard field goal, but the back-ups answered back with a 29-yarder of their own that gave the final margin of victory, letting the Regulars walk off with a thorough opening win.

by **Alphatheta** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 9:42 am

NOVOSTI ATLETICO Live dall'Estero

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Blustery Open to World Bowl XXVIII

World Bowl XXVIII
Game 1:
Alphatheta 7–3 Kohr
Playmakers:
46 Cătălin Jelen
67 Nico Navrátil
05 Pelagios Stenger
Game 2:
Alphatheta v Nuevo Caracas

Sept-Iles, QUE MSK+7 7:23pm - While most of the nation is glued to the National Inter-League Conference (NICL), World Bowl XXVIII opens in the Royal Kingdom of Quebec to record-high viewership for gridrion football across the People's Republic of Alphatheta. Some speculation among statisticians has been that the live reporting on the ground from abroad--a first for a non-ice-hockey tournament--has piqued interest among viewers, while others credit curiosity in international venues generally. Wytropolis Novosti is expected to run several cultural profiles of several hosting & participating nations, which are highly anticipated among the readership.

With high numbers of viewers tuning in, there was fairly scrapping game to be watched from here in Sept-Iles. Although Wytréno pulleed into an early lead in the first quarter off of quarterback Cătălin Jelen's beautiful 42-yard pass to Nico Navrátil and Pelagios Stenger not disappointing with a successful extra-point attempt, the team was then unable to make their way back into the end zone for the remainder of the game. Brief concern flared in the third quarter after Kohr's successful field goal, but the score stayed the same through the fourth quarter for a solid Alphathetan victory.

In interview, Jelen placed the brunt of the blame on the offensive line. "The defense was holding up their end of the deal, you know?" Jelen told our reporter, clearly frustrated despite the winning score. "Especially [Ignác] Raskop today-- he was picking off passes like nobody's business. But then they'd get the ball back to us, you know, and it would just-- fall apart. I was fumbling, Myron [Caiazzo] and I just weren't connecting and he was fumbling-- and I've seriously never thrown the ball away so many times in my entire life."

Head coach Kip Jornstein was somewhat more positive than Jelen when he briefly spoke to our reporter in the field, expressing hope that this rough wake-up call--although thankfully a win on the board--would get the offense knocked into shape. Offensive coordinator Theokleia Vacek was a little less certain.

"Maybe the weather will get worse," Vacek commented glibly when asked about the upcoming second match. "The boys all do drills usually about five degrees colder than this. It might be the best thing to hope for, the way they're dropping the ball--freeze out the competition."

Some, including safety Robert Rybář, have been a bit more positive. "We're playing in the cold, which is always more fun than going somewhere warm," Rybář laughed in an interview. "And we're getting our teeth cut against teams not from the Arctic, which is-- challenging, obviously, but ultimately for the best. We'll be back up on our feet tomorrow and it'll be what it will be."

Although unwilling to make a prediction about the upcoming game against Nuevo Caracas, Rybář did have one hope for tomorrow's match.

"They threw fish down during the Armeia-Taeshan game. I don't understand it at all," admitted Rybář, "but I want it to happen when we're playing. I really do. That's the kind of story you can take home with you, that might start catching on as a trend. It'd be a nice change back home from delaying games because fans are pelting snowballs at you, I think. A fish is much more positive. To me, anyway."

NILC Returns || Central'nyi Steinstadt 4–1 Spartak Vorotagrad || Chernomorets Vernyygorod 0–0 Rapid Trusdvo || Górnik Kholmstad 1–1 KL Sborgorod || KL Bolotoderev 0–1 KL Gavan

by **The Nation of Downination** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 9:59 am

The Nation of Downination Comes Up Short

The Salgetian Jaguars come up just short of a victory against Neu Engollon, after the Jags let away a 14-0 lead in the half. What seemed to be an outright success for the Jags in the first half, after scoring two touchdowns through the air, turned for the first when Running Back Fred Porter bursts out a 27-yard run that was denied after a controversial Offensive Holding penalty that stopped the Jags momentum. This led to a few string of bad drives, and Neu Engollon struck back after putting up a 15-play, 92-yard drive with a TD.

"It was quite awful," Cornerback Ricardo Little says, exhausted. "They just hurried to the line and passed over us."

Even if the Jags were up by 7, it didn't matter as the first play in the fourth quarter ended up being a pick six. The game, now tied 14 all, gave the Jags a bit of a confidence boost as they drove down the field and put up a 32-yard field goal to make it 17-14. However, on the proceeding kickoff, the Jags let their guard down, and flinched after seeing Neu Engollon's Kick Returner take it back for six. Although it looked like the Jags needed a TD, Neu Engollon's Kicker missed the extra point with 1:58 on the clock as the score stood 20-17.

"I thought we could pull it off; our first win," Wide Receiver Jimmy Gem responded.

With the ball starting at the 25, the Jags pulled a few strings and drove down to the opposite side of the field. With six seconds remaining, Kicker Jason Skyers lines up for a 40-yard field goal to send the game to overtime and a shot to win their first game. He was then stopped by the Neu Engollon Coach as if the coach wanted to ice him. After the timeout, Skyers boots it, but the fierce winds directed the ball to the left, and the ball hit the goal post; no good. Skyers then puts his hands on his head, and looked at the ball with disbelief.

"Well, I told him so," Head Coach Blake Greene replied in response to the missed game-saving field goal. "I heeded my words to him and he missed it. There's always tomorrow."

The game ended with a thriller, a 17-20 loss for the Jags in their inaugural game. Some fans were at least happy to see the team play well. Others, however, were speechless after the game. datdownie, the leader of The Nation of Downination, spoke a few words after the game.

"They played alright," Leader datdownie spoke. "They could do better, especially the QB too. Also, where was Allen Thompson? He only got two catches! TWO."

As some fans are grumbling after the loss, others look forward to the next game against #20 Armeia, who look to be a promising team in this year's World Bowl. However, it'll take a lot more effort for the Jags to compete against a team like Armeia.

"We'll collaborate with some of the guys who struggled, like Dwayne Dart," says Defensive Coordinator Shaun Dexter.

Stat of the day: Out of the 36 passes Delaney Hoffman threw, 75% of those passes were thrown in three seconds or less, while the rest were thrown three seconds or more. Out of that 75%, all but one pass was complete (INT TD).

by **Armeia** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 12:56 pm

"What the hell are they doing?"

That was likely the question that the Taeshan supporters were asking, as Armeia lined up inside of two minutes in the three and one offensive set that had been pioneered by Loftus College and perfected by Indies University. Two halfbacks and a linebacker were in the backfield surrounding Paulo Alecjo, Storm Staford and Alek Kendrick beside him and Tin Bojas behind him, and in place of a tight end was Ty Leroux, out slightly wide as a wingback.

"South, South, South!" Alecjo shouted at the line, setting the play. "Go!"

The ball was snapped and Alecjo only took a one step drop, faking a handoff to Storm Staford, who had been punishing Taeshan on the ground all day, and then passing down the seam to Leroux. The young cornerback went up to catch the ball with one hand, before being pushed out of bounds at the ten yard line after converting on a third down with six yards to go.

"Back to the line!" Alecjo shouted, looking to the sideline where Mia Perrera held up two fingers to signal the play. Armeia substituted as quickly as possible, shifting into the pistol formation, and Alecjo took the snap as soon as possible, bursting around the edge after receiving a block from Tin Bojas. Six yards were gained on the run. Alecjo looked to the sideline again, seeing Mia holding up one finger, signaling that they were about to go for the jugular.

Armeia shifted to shotgun, and Alecjo took another snap and took a four step drop. He stepped up in the pocket, before pitching the ball to Storm Staford to avoid the pass rush, Staford running for a touchdown in the open field. Armeia led the game 21-20.

A Sanja Prust interception sealed the win for Armeia near the end, with Storm Staford being crowned Man of the Match. "We beat the, what, number six team in the world? We can really beat anybody," chuckled Tyree Lanesson as the players were leaving the field. "I mean, that long delay helped us but I don't think any foreign teams have seen the three and one offense before."

He was talking to Alecjo, but Alecjo was distracted by a reporter looking to get a quote from him. "You want to know what's special about this team?" he asked. "We're not going to be happy until we win the whole damn thing. Last year was nice but this is our real coming out party, and I've got to warn the top ten to get out of our way. Football's next dynasty is going to go through Armeia."

by **OIsINiSTAn** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 1:06 pm

Offense:
QB: Gorbley Kittens
RB: Ashton Lanotta
FB: Clinch Dannon
WR: Mitchell Jablonsky
WR: Jerrald Zikovski
TE: Andrew Smithers
LT: Colin Grorblestafn
LG: Clam Polilc
C: Clint Pocky
RG: Cunningham
RT: Runar Sauspan

Defense:
DE: Shazmeen Jonatheson
DT: Telaviv Martagolhunter
DE: Molin Clobblegoon
LOLB: Jonathan Fox
LILB: Kneel Veavef
RILB: Spoon Tyson
ROLB: Market Aufe
LCB: Klorgbane Landon
RCB: Bohemius Collins
SS: Antonio Loijal
FS: Litch Flieger

by **Bongo Johnson** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 2:12 pm

CHAPTER TWO: Reunion Day

Jimbo Jangles may have been suspended in state for half a decade, but he sure wasn't rusty. He arrived to TRK Quebec a couple days after his team did. The delay in the beginning of the group stage afforded him an extra day of travel. He chose to spend it in the state-sponsored first class cabin, sipping slowly on a rum and coke while flipping through the latest edition of Skymall. He hadn't caught up on all the new technology since his suspension and was amazed at those little two-wheeler boards people were sporting at the airport. He wondered if he could buy one with enough time to ride it onto the field for his first game. Laughing softly at the picture of him riding a Segway onto the field, he fell asleep in his cozy cabin and didn't wake up until it was time to get off the plane and into a car. He looked at the weather conditions outside and was giddy with the advantage his Mighty Kittens would have in the blustery mess. It was gametime, and he was ready.

The rest of the team was already in the locker room, ready to get out on the field. They could hear the music rumbling, the announcer going through The Boatia's roster as they came out onto the field, and the roar of the crowd in excitement. From behind them, Jimbo Jangles walked in the door. It was time for a little reunion.

Immediately, the team began clapping. This guy was without a doubt one of the best quarterbacks to ever touch a football and he was finally back, and ready for action. They couldn't believe he was alive, let alone ready to play football. Judd Thompson was eager to ask questions and started to ask about where Jangles had been all those years, but was interrupted by the stadium coordinator yelling at everyone to start walking out onto the field. Jimbo took his place at the head of the line, glancing back at his team and winking slyly before beginning the walk.

As they exited the tunnel, large explosions rocked the line to the right and left. They looked like bombshells but blew up like confetti, covering the team in blue and red patches of colored paper.

"Look boys, they're setting off fireworks for us!" Andrew Mongoloid screamed from the back. It reminded him of winning the G.A.F.A. those many years ago. They hadn't won a single game yet, but the outlook was good.

"Just like old times!" Jimbo Jangles up front wore a goofy, teethy grin as he gazed up in awe at the stands filled with people. This was the team's time. This was family time. This time it was real.

Bongo Johnson won the coin toss and deferred to the other team, in true Zack Murbag fashion. They loved getting the ball after the half, and getting two quarters to study their opponent was more than enough to devise a cunning scheme for victory. Disaster struck as the opening kickoff was returned by The Boatia's return man 97 yards for a touchdown. The defense wasn't even given an opportunity to get on the field, but Jangles was ecstatic. This just meant he could get his offense on the field that much faster.

The ensuing kickoff was returned by Floyd Sack to the Bongo Johnson 29 yard line, a decent return setting up Jangles for a slightly shorter field than a touchback. To avoid overextending himself, the drive consisted of mostly short passes to the out-of-bounds line. On 3rd and 8 from the Boatian 32 yard line, he called a deep fade to Wallace McWallace on the right sideline. He leaped up above the defender and snagged it with one hand, taking care to land both feet in the endzone before beginning the celebration dance. Jangles-to-McWallace. The team was back in action.

The rest of the game was fairly bland. The Bongo Boys ran up to a 23-7 score by the 4th quarter, and held The Boatia to a touchdown and a field goal in the final minutes of the game. Their onside kick was recovered immediately by the Bongo Johnson special teams and Jangles knelt on the next play, ending his first game in over five years.

FINAL SCORE: BJ 23 | 16 TB

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 5:29 pm

Oisinistan 3–26 Gregoryisgodistan @ Imperial Copper Stadium, Rouyn-Noranda. Kicked off at 16:35 (originally scheduled for 16:00) after a streaker attempted to hop on the referee, who's actually his ex-girlfriend, forcing the policemen to dickapitate and capture him

"Hello, and welcome to Imperial Copper Stadium in Rouyn-Noranda. I'm Sportscaster XNCN88 and this is World Bowl football. Gregoryisgodistan is about to get underway in this game against Oisinistan. And - hold on, there is a naked idiot on the field and he's trying to tackle the referee. Pervert Chaser ZMM019931 and the Quebecois policemen are pursuing him, who's going to get there first? The policemen. But they'll dickapitate him anyway, I didn't know Quebecois police did that. And now he's being arrested. What fun. He deserved to be punished. Anyway, now, it's time to get underway.

...

"Here's the coin toss. Gregoryisgodistan is the nominal visiting team, they will call the toss. They call heads. And it's tails. The Oisinistan captain says he's going to kick. He's going to kick? I think you mean defer. This means Gregoryisgodistan still has choice to receive kickoff in the second half. What an idiot. Anyway, Oisinistan apparently doesn't have a kicker, so Jerrald Zikovski will kick off. He's the same idiot who chose to kick. And Navy SuperAdmiral Q-Bert McFee is back deep to receive. ZIkovski kicks and it goes out of bounds at the 31 yard line. That will be a penalty and it will come out another four yards to the 35.

...

"13:03 left in the first quarter, and after a three-and-out for the Grid Slaves, Oisinistan takes over at their own 31. The stupidly named Gorbely Kittens drops back to pass, and he's dropped for a six yard loss by Enemy Crusher Carl Paladino. What a jarring hit. 2nd and 16, Kittens drops back to pass again, and again he's dropped by Enemy Crusher Carl Paladino, this time for an 8 yard loss, taking Oisinistan back to the 17. It will be 3rd and 24. Kittens drops back to pass again, it's a blitz, just gets it off, but right into the chest of Defected Chicago Bear Brian Urlacher, who picks it off at the Oisinistan 25. And Kittens got drilled again, by who else, Enemy Crusher Carl Paladino. And now a few Oisinistan fans are chanting "GREG IS NOT GOD" and this is enraging Enemy Crusher Carl Paladino so much that he is running into the stands, joined by Enemy Crusher Yorgen von Streudel and a few other Enemy Crushers, and they are crushing the Oisinistan fans to death. This is awesome. Oisinistanis are stupid, as evidenced by their heathen chant and stupid football captain, and now 55 of them have been crushed before the Enemy Crushers return to the sideline. They have claimed their first 55 victims all at once. Awesome!

"Gregoryisgodistan's offense takes over now, and Grammar Enforcement Officer SLS399SSH rolls left and pitches to Navy SuperAdmiral Q-Bert McFee. Navy SuperAdmiral Q-Bert McFee runs right, now throws across his body to Pervert Chaser ZMM019931, who throws for the end zone to a wide open Grammar Enforcement Officer SLS399SSH, for a touchdown, but there's a flag. Might be an illegal forward pass.

"Illegal forward pass, number 80, offense, second forward pass of the play. Spot foul, loss of down, second down."

"Big, big penalty, and a questionable call. And sure enough, Assistant Sports Minister Jorgen Roth has thrown the red flag to challenge the play."

"Gregoryisgodistan is challenging the ruling on the field of an illegal forward pass."

"Let's take a look at this on a replay. It's close, but I think there were two laterals and then a forward pass. The initial pitch was clearly a lateral, no disputing that, the only question is the second one, and yes, I think that's getting overturned. Here's the call."

"After reviewing the play, number 81's pass to number 80 was a lateral. Therefore, there is no foul for illegal forward pass, and the play results in a touchdown."

"And the entire Gregoryisgodistani sideline is ecstatic. Though oddly, Grammar Enforcement Officer SLS399SSH is not particularly happy and he's running after the ref. Let's listen in with the field mic."

"Hold on, ref, number 81 reviewed the play?"

"No, of course not."

"Then you dangled a modifier. I hereby sentence you to 28 days in a Grammar Reeducation Camp. Our Enemy Crushers will lead you to a bus, which will take you to a Secret Police plane, which will take you to Gregoryisgodistan, where you will study grammar 23 hours a day for 28 days so you never make that mistake again. Take him away, boys."

"And Enemy Crusher Ulysses Encherido and Enemy Crusher Greenward von Squiredward are trying to take the referee away, but he is resisting. And the Enemy Crushers are warning the ref that he will be crushed if he continues to resist. Yet he does anyway, and now Enemy Crusher Greenward von Squiredward is crushing him to death to the delight of the Gregoryisgodistanis in attendance.

"Finally, we resume, the PAT is up and good. 7-0 Grid Slaves.

"And now, following that score, Mathematics Teacher 2737ASH to kick off. It's taken by Mitchell Jablonsky about a yard into his own end zone, he takes it out, no, now he's going to run back into the end zone and down it. But you can't do that. That's not a touchback. It's a safety! Yep, the refs are calling safety. Grid Slaves lead 9-0. Very bizarre start. And they get the ball.

...

"2:03 left in the first quarter, Kittens to drop back to pass from midfield, drilled by Enemy Crusher Yorgen von Streudel, the ball pops loose, and it's recovered by the Grid Slaves. Meanwhile, Kittens appears to be injured. He's got a broken right arm, but as Oisinistan has no reserves, he'll have to stay in the game and throw with his weaker hand. Very bizarre. And now Enemy Crusher Yorgen von Streudel is going to celebrate his colossal hit by running into the stands and crushing more Oisinistani fans. He's just crushed 30 of them all by himself. What fun!

...

"We've got three seconds left in the half, and Oisinistan is about to attempt a 31 yard field goal to cut the lead to 9-3, here's the snap, oh, it goes over the holder's head, and now Enemy Crusher Yorgen von Streudel is chasing after it, he plows over everyone in his path, now scoops up the ball and he's going to run all the way for a touchdown! And now he's celebrating by crushing even more Oisinistani fans behind the end zone, 24 in all. He's a crushing machine. The PAT is good and it will be 16-0 going into the half. What a turn of events. Just when Oisinistan thought they would make it close, that happens. And Gregoryisgodistan will receive the second half kickoff.

...

"We're ready to start the second half, and Oisinistan is sending their kick return team out there, but the refs are ordering them to kick off. And now, Kittens, broken arm and all, is screaming at the referee, and he throws a flag.

"Unsportsmanlike conduct, kicking team, 15 yard penalty, the clock will start when the kickoff is touched."

"And so they'll kick off now, and Kittens is still screaming at the refs and gets himself another unsportsmanlike conduct penalty."

"Unsportsmanlike conduct, kicking team, half the distance to the goal."

"So now the kickoff will be spotted at the 10. Finally Oisinistan agrees to kick, and it will be taken by Navy SuperAdmiral Q-Bert McFee at midfield, he gets to the Oisinistan 33 before being shoved out. And now there's a flag.

"Personal foul, late hit out of bounds, kicking team, 15 yards, first down Gregoryisgodistan."

"Here's Slavecatcher ZN39000ASD with the carry, he gains one. 2nd and 9. Grammar Enforcement Officer SLS399SSH drops back to pass, but is dropped for a five yard loss by Molin Clobblegoon, another stupidly-named player, 3rd and 14. Another loss could take them out of field goal range in this weather. So they'll just run towards the middle of the field on a quarterback sneak, he gains one but now it's from the middle of the field and a 38 yard field goal. Here comes Mathematics Teacher 2737ASH, it's up, and it's good, 19-0.

"Mathematics Teacher 2737ASH to kick off now, out of the end zone, touchback.

"Kittens drops back to pass, cupping the ball in his lesser left arm, throws weakly to nobody in particular as he's drilled by Enemy Crusher Yorgen von Streudel, and that's a jarring hit. He's concussed and very confused, but he'll have to stay in still as Oisnistan has no backup. And now Enemy Crusher Yorgen von Streudel is taunting Kittens and there will be a penalty."

"Unsportsmanlike conduct, taunting, number 96, defense, 15 yard penalty, automatic first down."

"And now Enemy Crusher Yorgen von Streudel is crushing the referee, and succeeds, but the other referee throws another penalty flag."

"Unsportsmanlike conduct, assault on a referee, number 96 defense, 15 yard penalty, automatic first down."

"And now Enemy Crusher Yorgen von Streudel is crushing that referee, there's just no stopping him. But that wil be another flag."

"Unsportsmanlike conduct, assault on a referee, number 96 defense, 15 yard penalty, automatic first down."

"And guess what? Another crushing. Wow! Such brave, noble heroics from Enemy Crusher Yorgen von Streudel."

"Unsportsmanlike conduct, assault on a referee, number 96 defense, 15 yard penalty, automatic first down."

"That will take Oisninistan in the red zone, and guess what, MORE CRUSHING!"

"Unsportsmanlike conduct, assault on a referee, number 96 defense, half the distance to the goal, automatic first down, number 96 is ej-"

"But before he can be ejected, Enemy Crusher Yorgen von Streudel crushes the referee and says anyone else who ejects him will be next. There's still a flag."

"Unsportsmanlike conduct, number 96 defense, half the distance to the goal, automatic first down, and we will not eject number 96 as long as he doesn't crush any more referees the rest of the game."

"And now it looks like rather than risk losing yardage, Oisinistan is just sending the kicker out to kick a field goal before concussed, broken arm Kittens does something bad. The 22 yard kick is good and it's 19-3 after all that crushing.

...

"2:03 left, fourth quarter, Kittens has been terrible this half, but thanks to a 66 yard punt return, Oisinistan has the ball inside the Gregoryisgodistan 10. And Kittens totally misses the snap it goes over his head, blame the concussion, now he chases it down, scoops it up, oh, but he's running the wrong way. He sees nothing but green in front of him, and now he's celebrating and mocking the Enemy Crushers by waggling his but. Oh, that will enrage Enemy Crusher Yorgen von Streudel who drils him from behind, hitting him full speed with his 795 pound body. And Kittens goes flying like he was run over by a truck, while the ball pops up in the air, and now Enemy Crusher Carl Paladino comes down with it at the 30 and will run in for the touchdown, the right way And Kittens has broken about 75 bones from the impact and collision, but Oisinistan has no backups so he'll have to play the rest of the tournament unless they find one. Meanwhile, there's a minute 30 left, PAT is good."

...

"After the touchback, Kittens lines up in the shotgun and the snap goes over his head again. It will be fallen on at the nine by Enemy Crusher Carl Paladino and as Oisinistan has no timeouts, Gregoryisgodistan can just kneel on it."

...

"And this one's over, Grid Slaves take the opener!"

by **Rennidan** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 7:18 pm

We're not in it for the money, the fame or the women. Trophies and trinkets are not what we covert.

We're in it for the fight.

Each scar we gain is a reminder to do better, and every scar we give shows exactly what we are capable of.

Blakhale limps to the exit, blending with the shadows, a nebula of bruises. I wipe blood from the gummy stumps in my mouth and try to keep my eye from popping out again.

A 35 yard, third and twelve, sly sneak in the dying moments of the forth gave my people their first score in ten years. Silky (fractured nose) and Lakenheath (lost a pinky in a face mask incident) herd me through and before I know it I'm tasting turf in the end zone.

The win wasn't ours though. Overtime near killed us all, but we survived for another day. Another fight.

Even in the locker room, I can feel the crowd wincing at the big screen highlights. Not only at the big hits we took, but the brick walls we threw up in front of Banija.

A helmet midair, free and flying from Kovach's puffing face, as I slip between his protection and light him up.

We give as good as we get. After this game, no one could argue that point.

_______

"--whole place was chock full of smoke. Fastest we ever sold out of bear jerky. This one dude with some weird accent just came up, covered head to toe in his own blood. Didn't argue with him, just let the fella have as much as he needed. Seemed like he'd had a rough day--"

________

Bloodied, beaten, stoned and full of bear jerky. This was a tidy equilibrium of states to attain. Ups and downs, the universe in balance. Thankfully the amount of THC that has leaked into the stadium has also prevented me from having an abundance of dickapitation flashbacks.

This was one hell of a country.

by **Frenline Delpha** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 7:20 pm

Frenlinian Factation

Article A

1/7/15

Drug Driver Causes Delays

The temperature was at a freezing -4 degrees. That roads were icey and slick. The driver was trying to evade police while carrying 720 pounds of weed, and about 12 1-lb packages of cocaine, reports say. The driver was driving down the interstate going above the legal speed limit when highway patrol turned on their sirens and requested that the truck be pulled over. The driver increased his speed even more, and this caused Officer J. Huang-She to request back-up on e highway. The chase ended up going for another 3 miles until the driver tried to use an exit ramp near the stadium where the Frenlinian football team was preparing to play, Imperial Copper Stadium.

That's when he lost control. The roads were still slippery, and reports say he was driving at over 90 MPH. This caused his wheels to lose traction, and he broke through the guard rail on the side of the exit ramp, directly on a crash course for the stadium. As the truck plowed through the parking lot, an estimated 32 cars were crushed, causing an estimated damage cost of Q$369,500, or about {687,270. The truck didn't stop there. According to the police report, this was because the driver had been knocked unconscious, and foot hadn't left the gas. At that moment, shipping gates were being opened to await a shipping of alcohol for the games, and the truck just so happened to be in the course of the gate. It crashed through, flattening one unfortunate victim. The truck then continued until it scraped its side on the wall, causing extreme damage to the right side.

The truck somehow still continued with its unconscious driver unaware of the murder he had just committed. It didn't end there, as the truck managed o break down the gate leading onto the field. The truck would have just kept on going if the field goal pole hadn't stopped it. In a collision of metals, the truck rammed over the goal posts but was stopped. Unfortunately, the truck's engine caught fire because of the collision, and police and fire fighters raced to the scene. As the firemen were using the jaws of life to pry open the driver's door, which had been crunched shut, the truck exploded in a ball of fire. The entire stadium had to be cleared out while the body's were taken away. At least three policemen and four firefighters died, and one policeman is in critical condition at the hospital. The driver of the drugs, Harold G. Max-Hugh, was pronounced dead at the scene.

It took an hour to clear the arena, another hour to clear the wreckage, and it took two and a half more hours to fix everything that had gone wrong. Unfortunately, some of the seat were badly burned in the explosion, and they were unavailable for the rest of the game. So somehow, the crews managed to fix the goalposts, and the ruined field before the game started back up. Quebecois police have declined any further information about the victim at this moment.

by **Banija** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 7:21 pm

The All-Banija Sports Magazine
The only nationwide publication that is all sports, all the time!

Banija secures hard-fought, overtime victory against Rennidan in opening game of the 28th World Bowl

Vena Resnick scores the game's opening touchdown in the 4th quarter

ROUYN-NORANDA - In a matchup between the two arguably most evenly matched teams in Group D, the boys in green pulled off a 13-10, overtime victory over the scrappy participants from Rennidan. The game was expected to be a defensive slugfest, and fans of defense were not disappointed. There was not a single point on the scoreboard until the beginning of the 4th quarter. Banija recieved the help of their special teams by blocking a field goal on the final play of regulation, they were able to eke out an overtime victory to start off the tournament 1-0.

The 1st half of the game looked like a defensive slug-fest on the scoreboard, but it looked like a shootout between the 20s. As is the case with many opening games to tournaments, both teams looked a little bit sloppy, on both sides of the football. There was missed tackles all around, sloppy footwork, and what led to a very sloppy half of football, especially on the offensive half. However, both teams were able to move the ball with relative ease between the 20s. The story, however, was the pitiful red zone offense of both teams. Banija, on its 2 trips to the red zone in the first half, finished its first red zone possession ending with Rennidan Defensive Tackle Yute Blackhale tipping the ball at the line of scrimmage, and the ball floating right into the hands of middle linebacker and quarterback Evan Surge. The 2nd trip to the red zone ended up with a missed 35 yarder, that kicker Nard Holling just could not get enough of and hit the upright.

Rennidan did not have much success in the red zone either. On their first red zone possession, Evan Surge threw an interception right to Banijan captain Dragutin Tomikj when Rennidan was at the 5 yard line. On their second red zone trip, Evan Surge was hit hard on his blind side by outside linebacker Techomir Sendula, who recovered the fumble. Both teams were capable of moving the ball, getting over 150 yards of total offense from each side, but mistakes once they were knocking on the door prevented both teams from scoring. Of course, both teams went to the locker room feeling as if they could score, and feeling as if they had left too much on the field.

In the 3rd quarter however, the offenses on both teams sputtered. Both teams simply traded 3 and outs for the entire quarter. Not a single first down was gained by either team throughout the entire 3rd quarter, as both defenses stood tall. There was no turnovers in this half, either- both teams were standing and making plays on defense, and it seemed as if the defensive lines on both sides were dominating at the line of scrimmage. There would need to be a play to break the game open, as at this point, it seemed as if one score would clinch the game. That play would come at the beginning of the 4th quarter.

With 14:30 left in the 4th quarter, Rennidan punted from its own 20 yard line. Banijan punt returner Mechiel Veltmans fielded the ball at his own 25 yard line, made a man miss, and was off for the races. His 37 yard punt return gave the Banijans a first down and 10 at the Rennidan 43 yard line, the best starting field position of the entire game for either team. Banija did not waste its opportunity. On 1st down & 10, they put both recievers on the same side of the field, and with Vena Resnick in the slot, he went long down the middle of the field. He took advantage of the mismatch with the safety, and 7 seconds later, Banija was up 7-0. It looked like Banija had the game wrapped up.

The next two possesions simply moved to confirm that. Rennidan went three & out, and the hard-hitting defense of Banija got two sacks on that set of downs. They ended up getting the ball with somewhere around 13 minutes left in the game, and they went to their style of smash mouth football. It was a little bit early to run the clock, but they would do their best. They got 2 first downs before they punted the football, and then Rennidan went three & out for the 6th straight possession. When Banija got the ball with 7 minutes left, everybody thought that they would bury Rennidan on that drive. They would move the ball and kick at least a field goal, and Rennidan could not come back. Banija, after moving the ball down the field, taking 5:50 off of the clock, missed a 41 yard field goal to put the game away. All of a sudden, Rennidan had the ball and were down one touchdown with 1:10 left.

After allowing a 43 yard reverse to Klut Foe, Rennidan had a 1st down at the Banijan 33 yard line. The Banijan defense held strongly for both 1st & 2nd down. However, on third down and 12, from the Banijan 35 yard line, with 34 seconds and counting left on the clock, Rennidan simply would not be denied the score. They lined up in a pistol formation, and the quarterback went straight ahead in one of their infamous quarterback sneaks. Their offense plowed a path to the end zone for Evan Surge, and he would not be denied the end zone on that play. The Banijan defense could not hold for the entire game, and the game was tied at 7. All signs were pointing to overtime, though once again, Rennidan had other ideas.

Rennidan then followed with the gall of a team that was playing to win, kicking an onside kick after their score. They figured they had the momentum, and that going for the win now would be best for their players and the team. After Evan Surge bounced the onside kick high into the air, it was recovered by Klut Foe at the 45 yard line, giving new life to Rennidan, and making them the favorites to win the game. After two very clutch throws, Evan Surge had an opportunity to win the game from 48 yards out, with them being down at the Banijan 31 yard line.

While they lined up for what could be the kick of their lives, Mechiel Veltmans raced from around the corner and blocked the kick. The ball bounced backwards, a lineman from Rennidan fell on top of the football, and overtime was on its way. The Banijans, with all the momentum against them in the last minute of the game, had found a way to prevent Rennidan from winning, and they carried that momentum all the way through overtime.

The rest is history. Rennidan went three & out, taking a 7 yard sack on third down, and Evan Surge drilled a 50 yard field goal to have his team take a 10-7 lead after the first possession of overtime. The game was over as soon as Banija touched the football. On the first play from scrimmage, Slawomir Kovach handed the ball off to Zivorad Dvorak, and a large hole was opened up down the middle of the field. He busted through untouched, and after one play, the 25 yard touchdown run clinched the game for the Banijans. The team piled onto the field to celebrate the hard-fought 13-10 victory in a very tough matchup.

This was a very trying victory for Banija. After getting ran out of the last World Bowl, and this team losing 5 straight in the last NSCF, many were worried that the spotlight would turn back on, and the team would whither under the spotlight. However, Horace Browning had his team ready, and they stepped up to the plate. They responded to two first half turnovers and a gut-wrenching punt return by making a goal line stand when it mattered most. This was a major victory for them, emotionally, and they will look to take their momentum into their next game against Ruairikstan, who had a bye on the group's 1st match-day. Horace Browning said that the next game was always the most important, and Banija needed to defeat Ruairikstan to have any chance of accomplishing its goals for the World Bowl.

by **Firebolt** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 9:24 pm

Firebolt Flying Broomsticks National Gridiron Football Team

This team is composed entirely of sentient broomsticks with arms - even the coach.

Nickname: Flying Broomsticks
Stadium: National Quidditch Stadium (54,000)
Coach: King Super Fast
Style mod: The Flying Broomsticks are used to Quidditch, so this is an extremely run-and-gun team. +5.0.

Note: All Fireboltian broomsticks go by a brand and a three-digit serial number. Each brand corresponds to a position (for example, Firebolts are the Quarterbacks, while Tank Flyers are the linebackers) and a serial number to differentiate. Please use the serial number when referring to a specific player. Also, priority is from the top of the list down.

Quarterbacks:
#1 Firebolt PX9
#14 Firebolt FH4
#13 Firebolt DK5

Wide Receivers:
#81 Flyer-2000 HD4
#17 Flyer-2000 JH8
#10 Flyer-2000 TY2
#84 Flyer-2000 NJ0
#89 Flyer-2000 PZ4

Running Backs:
#27 Speedibroom HU7
#33 Speedibroom FV6
#44 Speedibroom GT4

Tight Ends:
#85 MegaBroom WD5
#86 MegaBroom KE8

Linemen (interchangeable between offence and defense):
#64 FlyBlocker RJ6
#76 FlyBlocker JD8
#78 FlyBlocker WK1
#66 FlyBlocker UV2
#59 FlyBlocker HD7
#93 FlyBlocker KD2
#99 FlyBlocker UD7
#92 FlyBlocker HS3
#94 FlyBlocker WP2

Linebackers:
#56 Tank Flyer SH3
#55 Tank Flyer JE7
#46 Tank Flyer HS2
#50 Tank Flyer KW5
#47 Tank Flyer GY0
#51 Tank Flyer JQ9

Defensive Backs:
#20 Catcher-1516 KB5
#30 Catcher-1516 FY7
#32 Catcher-1516 NE4
#38 Catcher-1516 MS2
#31 Catcher-1516 US3

Special Teams:
PK: #4 Kickback RF7
P: #9 Kickback RJ8
LS: #58 FlyBlocker HW3

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my Scorers: Yes
Choose Scoring Events: Yes
Godmod Scoring Events: No
RP Injuries to my Players: No
Godmod Injuries to my Players: No
Godmod Other Events: No

Style Modifier: +5.0

by **San Llera** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 11:03 pm

OOC: Much of the legal language is from here.

Following the... interesting events on the first match day of the 28th World Bowl, a group of anti-football and pro-safety moms organized a lawsuit against The Royal Kingdom of Quebec in hopes of getting the tournament cancelled. The lawsuit is enclosed here:

ISADORA MORRO
-Plaintiff

v.

THE ROYAL KINGDOM OF QUEBEC
-Defendant

COMPLAINT AND PRAYER FOR JURY TRIAL
Plaintiff Isadora Morro, represented by herself, now files suit against The Royal Kingdom Of Quebec, specifically in their capacity as hosts of the World Bowl XXVIII, and in support thereof states as follows:

1. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec is the elected host of World Bowl XXVIII, an international football tournament.

COUNT 1: PAIN AND SUFFERING
The plaintiff incorporates therein all preceding paragraphs.

2. During Matchday 1 of the tournament, Schottia played Ethane at the Stade Lorne-Goonja de Dosan, Chicoutimi, Royal Kingdom of Quebec.
3. Shortly into the game, a referee suffered a heart attack and a medical emergency was declared.
4. The referee was overweight, elderly, and in poor physical condition. The physical and emotional exertion he put forth during the game led to his heart attack.
5. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec is responsible for employing the referee.
6. The heart attack constitutes pain and suffering for the referee.
7. The shock from witnessing the heart attack also constitutes psychological pain and suffering for all watching the game in any capacity.

COUNT 2: PAIN AND SUFFERING
The plaintiff incorporates therein all preceding paragraphs.

8. During Matchday 1 of the tournament, Oisinistan played Gregoryisgodistan at Imperial Copper Stadium, Rouyn-Noranda, The Royal Kingdom of Quebec.
9. During the game, a streaker jumped on a referee
10. The streaker was removed of his male sex organ at midfield by Quebecois police.
11. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec is responsible for their police's actions.
12. The public nudity and gruesome punishment constitutes pain and suffering for those watching in any capacity.

COUNT 3: PAIN AND SUFFERING
The plaintiff incorporates therein all preceding paragraphs.

13. During Matchday 1 of the tournament, Kaboomlandia played Frenline Delpha at Imperial Copper Stadium, Rouyn-Noranda, The Royal Kingdom of Quebec.
14. A truck carrying marijuana drove into the stadium and crashed, setting itself on fire in the process and burning the marijuana, releasing large amounts of THC into the air.
15. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec is responsible for the stadium security which led to the truck obtaining access to the field.
16. The after effects of the THC fans inhaled constitutes pain and suffering.

COUNT 4: PAIN AND SUFFERING
The plaintiff incorporates therein all preceding paragraphs.

17. During Matchday 1 of the tournament, Armeia played Taeshan at Marcus A. Chang Memorial Stadium, Sept-Iles, The Royal Kingdom of Quebec.
18. Fans at the match threw fish onto the field.
19. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec is responsible for the actions of the fans.
20. The fish may have contained mercury, and if a fan accidentally consumed the fish, he/she could suffer health consequences.
21. Mercury poisoning constitutes pain and suffering.

COUNT 5: PAIN AND SUFFERING
The plaintiff incorporates therein all preceding paragraphs.

22. During Matchday 1 of the tournament, The Boatia played Bongo Johnson at Pavel Wilson Stadium, Kingston, The Royal Kingdom of Quebec.
23. Bazookas were fired.
24. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec is responsible for all weapons that entered the stadium.
25. The fear that fans may have incurred due to bazookas being fired at them constitutes pain and suffering.

WHEREFORE, on behalf of the millions affected, Plaintiff Isadora Morro demands judgment against The Royal Kingdom of Quebec, the amount of Three Million Dollars ($3,000,000.00) in compensatory damages, plus interest and costs as this Court deems appropriate, and the cancellation of World Bowl XXVIII.

Respectfully submitted,
Isadora Morro

by **The Royal Kingdom of Quebec** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 11:30 pm

OOC: Due to a mistake detected earlier with last night's MD, in which Abanhfleft faced San Jose Guayabal instead of Gim, the MD1 score was rescorinated for the match. I would like to apologise for this incident.

Matchday Two Results

Alright guys, this is how we roll before the cutoff.

Group A
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 27–7 German Ohio
The Republic of Maltaland 0–20 The Fair Republic
HUElavia 31–7 Levivania @ Stade St.Croix, Quebec City. Halftime show, performed by St.Antoine High School Marching Bands, was programmed to be 15 minutes longer than intended, allowing players and referees to get 15 more minutes of break.

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD 
1 Royal Kingdom of Quebec      2    2   0    64   21  +43
2 HUElavia                     2    2   0    46   15  +31
3 The Fair Republic            2    2   0    40   14  +26
4 Barunia                      1    0   1    14   37  −23
5 Levivania                    1    0   1     7   31  −24
6 German Ohio                  2    0   2    21   47  −26
7 The Republic of Maltaland    2    0   2     8   35  −27

Group B
Abanhfleft 32–0 Ethane
Regalius 8–45 Schottia @ @ Stade Lorne-Goonja de Dosan, Chicoutimi. Kickoff started @ 13:12 (original time: 13:00) after the well-starved referee took too long to eat in middle of tailgating trucks for his pre-game meal. He, fortunately, received some good meals afterwards at the tailgate following the game...
Sioux Lookout 9–21 San Jose Guayabal @ Stade Lorne-Goonja de Dosan, Chicoutimi. Shortly after the final whistle rang and clock ran out to give the Guayabalense their victory on the opening match for them, thousands of Quebecois fans, many of them with Guayabalense background or family members or friends, stormed the turf to celebrate on what immediately became a massive party.

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Schottia                2    2   0    89   18  +71     6
2 Abanhfleft              2    2   0    59    0  +59     6
3 San Jose Guayabal       1    1   0    21    9  +12     3
4 Regalius                2    1   1    20   45  −25     3
5 Sioux Lookout           2    0   2     9   33  −24     0
6 Gim                     1    0   1     0   27  −27     0
7 Ethane                  2    0   2    10   76  −66     0

Group C
Firebolt 32–13 Renetopia
Atlanta-Breyer 0–10 Nassau-Hessen
San Llera 29–3 Dunpa @ Iqaluit Stadium, kickoff time 18:24 (originally kickoff time: 18:00) because of a polar bear, brought to the stadium for some strange reason, jumped into the turf and chased after the referee. Fortunately the referee avoided the fate of getting eaten alive in front of 103,800 fans in attendance, but it took a while for the bear to be stopped and players back on the field.

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 San Llera               2    2   0    62   17  +45     6
2 Firebolt                2    2   0    55   13  +42     6
3 Nassau-Hessen           2    2   0    17    6  +11     6
4 Renetopia               2    0   2    19   39  −20     0
5 Pittastria              1    0   1     0   23  −23     0
6 Dunpa                   1    0   1     3   29  −26     0
7 Atlanta-Breyer          2    0   2    14   43  −29     0

Group D
Kaboomlandia 38–0 Oisinistan
Rennidan 6–21 Gregoryisgodistan @ Imperial Copper Stadium, Rouyn-Noranda. Kickoff at 16:48 (original kickoff time: 16:15) as the kicker (of either team), while practicing field goal under the windy conditions, made a perfect field goal that hit the goal post and went in. But that also came at the cost of the goal post snapping and falling to the ground.
Banjia 18–0 Ruarikstan @ Imperial Copper Stadium, Rouyn-Noranda. Kickoff at 20:00 (original kickoff time- 19:00) because of what happened at the game before.

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Kaboomlandia            2    2   0    72   16  +56     6
2 Gregoryisgodistan       2    2   0    47    9  +38     6
3 Banjia                  2    2   0    31   10  +21     6
4 Frenline Delpha         1    0   1    16   34  −18     0
  Rennidan                2    0   2    16   34  −18     0
6 Ruarikstan              1    0   1     0   18  −18     0
7 Oisinistan              2    0   2     3   64  −61     0

Group E
Nanocemia 7–26 The Great Pond
Allamunnic States 28–12 Greater Vakolicci Haven
The Central Shadow Nation 18–5 Kingdom of Ruckus

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Allamunnic States            2    2   0    55   15  +40     6
2 Greater Vakolicci Haven      2    1   1    40   38   +2     3
3 United States of Devonta     1    1   0    15    3  +12     3
4 The Great Pond               2    1   1    36   35   +1     3
5 The Central Shadow Nation    2    1   1    21   32  −11     3
6 Kingdom of Ruckus            1    0   1     5   18  −13     0
7 Nanocemia                    2    0   2    10   41  −31     0

Group F
The Nation of Downination 7–25 Armeia
Kohr 17–35 Taeshan
Alphatheta 13–0 Nuevo Caracas @ Stephen M. Chang Memorial Stadium, Sept-Iles. After the clock ran out, the tailgating parties from outside the stadium were somehow allowed entry into the stadium thanks to a sympathetic guard. This led to dozens of trucks gathering in a massive tailgating party in middle of the turf, causing the delay of the preceding match for about an hour.

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Armeia                       2    2   0    46   27  +19     6
2 Alphatheta                   2    2   0    20    3  +17     6
3 Taeshan                      2    1   1    55   38  +17     3
4 Neu Engollon                 1    1   0    20   17   +3     3
5 Nuevo Caracas                1    0   1     0   13  −13     0
6 The Nation of Downination    2    0   2    24   45  −21     0
7 Kohr                         2    0   2    20   42  −22     0

Group G
Peuples Nordiques des Fleurs 8–30 Drawkland @ Pavel Wilson Stadium, Kingston. Kickoff time: 10:00 (original kickoff time: 10:30) because the referee realised that the lunch date with his girlfriend was scheduled at around 13:00, at the opposite end of Kingston. To deal with this matter, ticket holders were allowed entry until 10:35.
Bongo Johnson 0–39 Ko-oren
The Boatia 7–18 Shytysle

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Ko-oren                         2    2   0    52    7  +45     6
2 Thereisnogodistan               1    1   0    38    3  +35     3
3 Drawkland                       2    1   1    37   21  +16     3
4 Shytysle                        1    1   0    18    7  +11     3
5 Bongo Johnson                   2    1   1    23   55  −32     3
6 The Boatia                      2    0   2    23   41  −18     0
7 Peuples Nordiques des Fleurs    2    0   2    11   68  −57     0

Group H
Cosumar 36–10 Chromatika
Silvacometopia 13–29 Equestrian States
The Sword Bloke 23–0 Britonisea

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Equestrian States       2    2   0    59   13  +46     6
2 Cosumar                 2    2   0    65   20  +45     6
3 The Sword Bloke         2    2   0    49    9  +40     6
4 Youhavenorightsistan    1    0   1    10   29  −19     0
5 Britonisea              1    0   1     0   23  −23     0
6 Silvacometopia          2    0   2    22   55  −33     0
7 Chromatika              2    0   2    10   66  −56     0

by **Alphatheta** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 7:32 am

NOVOSTI ATLETICO Live dall'Estero

Back to International News Home || Back to Sports Home || Domestic Sports || International Sports || Hockey Central || Curling Central || Olympics Central || Search

Excitement, Delays, Anticipation In Sept-Iles

World Bowl XXVIII
Game 2:
Alphatheta 13–0 Nuevo Caracas
Playmakers:
46 Cătălin Jelen
67 Nico Navrátil
88 Petr Abbracciabene
09 Taras Auer
Game 3:
Armeia v Alphatheta

Sept-Iles, QUE MSK+7 8:50pm - In yet another bracing day of game play here at the Stephen M. Chang Memorial Stadium, Wytréno has once again managed to bring home a modest but decisive win, this time against Nuevo Caracas. After an unremarkable first quarter of near-misses around Nuevo Caracas' 30-yard line, quarterback Cătălin Jelen came to life in the second quarter and threw another impressive 40-yard pass to Nico Navrátil.

"I'd say it's starting to come together for me and Nishka [Nico Navrátil,eds.]," Jelen told us at halftime. "We're getting into the zone. You have to adjust a little, you know, when you're not at home and you're not playing teams whose every move you can predict, but he's starting to be where I'm looking for him again. It's a great feeling."

Perhaps overly-confident, Wytréno followed the touchdown with an attempt at a 2-point conversion, but found themselves unable to move the ball even an inch against Nuevo Caracas' defense.

The third quarter saw the team returning to the field slightly more cautious, and slightly more successful. Petr Abbracciabene ran the ball in for another touchdown, making him the first of the new recruits to get a notch in 2016. Hedging their bets, Wytréno looked to Taras Auer for the point after touchdown rather than attempting another 2-point conversion.

"You let them try first," assistant coach Zosia Alexandrescu told us after the game. "These younger guys on the team, and all the new recruits--they need to see it for themselves, sometimes, to know you're right. When you're ahead, it's a little easier to take the risk. I think it loses us some games, but Coach Jornstein likes letting them learn this way."

Group F Standings Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Armeia                       2    2   0    46   27  +19     6
2 Alphatheta                   2    2   0    20    3  +17     6
3 Taeshan                      2    1   1    55   38  +17     3
4 Neu Engollon                 1    1   0    20   17   +3     3
5 Nuevo Caracas                1    0   1     0   13  −13     0
6 The Nation of Downination    2    0   2    24   45  −21     0
7 Kohr                         2    0   2    20   42  −22     0

Ultimately, the victory was again credited most heavily to the defensive line, who prevented Nuevo Caracas from getting a single point on the board. Defensive coordinator Benito Corti was appropriately modest when he spoke with us briefly after the game. "[Robert] Rybář and [Antonino] Lawrenz are fantastic at keeping everyone else hyped and motivated. They know they're sort of the heart of the team, and they're getting Petushka [Petia König, eds.] to help them keep each other amped. It's a long way from the stumbling they were doing when the new kids first joined up this season."

The game was not without points of general fascination beyond a few dangerous moments at the end of the fourth quarter near Wytréno's 15. Play was delayed by an hour in Group F when a group of tailgaters managed to claim the middle of the field. Younger members of the team, such as tight end Yevgeniy Gutermuth, were slightly overwhelmed.

"It's amazing, really, to be somewhere that really-- cares about this sport," Gutermuth told us during the hold. "This is the sort of thing, back home, you expect to see maybe at hockey, maybe at curling-- but never for us. It sort of gets you thinking. Maybe it'd be better to stay out here, or somewhere like here. You get so drained playing back in the patria, with no one really-- excited for you or-- caring about your scores. Here, people love gridiron. They love the experience. I wouldn't say any of us would ever give up citizenship to move somewhere like this, but... it's just interesting to know a place like this exists."

Looking forward, Wytréno will be facing Armeia, which we understand is the first ranked team they'll play in this World Bowl. Armeia also currently leads the group on the heels of two high-scoring games these last two days. When asked for predictions, head coach Kip Jornstein was cautious.

"[Head] Coach [Takumi] Maki and [Assistant] Coach [Kyo] Kobayashi push a very aggressive offensive game, from what I've seen," Coach Jornstein explained in an interview. "Rybář's had it easier, up to this point in the competition; we'll see tomorrow if all the media hype has gone to his head or not." When asked about Wytréno's own offensive standing, Coach Jornstein seemed a bit more relaxed. "Armeia's backers scare Cătchka [Cătălin Jelen, eds.] shitless. They really do. But I've seen him scared before. It's beautiful. He looks like a wreck at the line of scrimmage, but then after the snap-- he's just a beast. He gets kicked back into army mode. We should see some creative, aggressive plays out there tomorrow."

NILC Returns || Spartak Vorotagrad 3–0 KL Gavan || KL Sborgorod 2–2 KL Bolotoderev || Rapid Trusdvo 0–0 Górnik Kholmstad || Central'nyi Steinstadt 1–0 Chernomorets Vernyygorod

by **Banija** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 8:33 am

The All-Banija Sports Magazine
The only nationwide publication that is all sports, all the time!

Banija record 18-0 shutout victory over Ruairikstan to improve to 2-0 at the 28th World Bowl

Banija celebrates Nayden Zacharov touchdown run in the 2nd quarter

ROUYN-NORANDA - In the middle of a heavy snowstorm, which saw even the goalposts frozen over and snap in the south end zone in the game prior, Banija was able to eke out an 18-0 victory over Rauirikstan to improve to 2-0 in the 28th World Bowl. Now, as many people know, Banija does not get snow, almost ever. The last recorded snowfall in Banija happened 70 years before the start of this tournament, so definitely none of the players had seen snow. Luckily, the elements of the coaching staff that Horace Browning had brought over was able to prepare his team, and they ended up with the shutout.

Banija was playing in the middle of the windy snowstorm for the first half. So much so, that kicking field goals was not an option because of the amount of snow on the ground, and the amount of snow falling. Banija kicked off the game, and while they were able to force a 3 & out on Rauirikstan's first possession of the ball game, Banija got the ball at their own 14 yard line after a punt, and a fantastic bounce for their opponents. It was obvious Banija was going to focus on running the football throughout the game, and that is exactly what they did during this game.

On their first possesion, they had a drive where they went 5/5 on third downs, consisting of 19 plays, taking 7:14 off of the clock, and the play calling consisting of 12 carries for Zivorad Dvorak, and 7 carries for Nayden Zacharov, the backup running back. There was too much snow to attempt and throw the football, and Banija's running game was doing a nice job of mixing up the play-calling to justify keeping the ball on the ground. The drive ended with a 3 yard touchdown carry for Zivorad Dvorak on third & goal, and then Banija, thanks to the weather conditions, was forced to go for 2. Kovach took the option left and ran the ball in himself for the 2 point conversion, to give Banija an early 8-0 lead to start the game in that snowstorm.

For the rest of the first half, the game was a defensive slugfest. Banija could move the ball a little bit on the ground, but their defense was suffocating Rauirikstan, not allowing them to move the ball at all down the field. With 5 minutes left in the 2nd quarter, Banija had a 4th & inches from the opposing 47 yard line, and after much deliberation, Banija decided to punt the football, and it was a great decision. Banijan Punter Mathijs Norel was able to pin their opponents down at their own 3 yard line, and the Banijan defense was able to step up to the plate. On their first play from scrimmage, the defensive line was able to bust through the line of scrimmage, and defensive tackle Slawoj Shuksin brought down the opposing running back behind the goal line for a safety.

After the free kick that followed the safety, Mechiel Veltmans was able to make a few men miss, and return the kickoff all the way down to the opposing 25 yard line. After a 20 yard carry by Zivorad Dvorak, backup running back Nayden Zacharov was able to punch the ball in from 5 yards away to make the score 16-0 with less than 5 minutes remaining in the second quarter. Once again, the Banijans were forced to go for a 2 point conversion. The Banijans did a play-action bootleg, and a soft touch pass from Kovach to tight end Wlodzimierz Cerny to give Banija an 18-0 lead. That ended up being the final score of the game, as both defenses stood tall after that and the offenses could not move the ball down the field in this weather.

Banija, once again, achieved a victory over a team that it was supposed to beat and became 2-0 in this tournament. They have one more game against an unranked opponent, Oisinistan, who is dead last in the group at 0-2 and having a -61 point differential. Banija knows that this is a game that they must win to have any chance of advancing, before they move forward to the roughest part of their schedule- Frenline Delpha, Kaboomlandia, and world powers Gregoryisgodistan, in that order. Banija will look forward to achieving their 3rd straight victory of the tournament and remaining in the top half of the group standings after Matchday 3.

by **Thereisnogodistan** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 8:49 am

Thereisnogodistan Community College
Thereisnogodabad, Fhulghamous Peninsula

"Red 98! Red 98! Hut!"

The brown egg-shaped football flew from underneath the center for the snap, straight into the bare hands of Kelly Profit, who was trying out for the quarterback position of Thereisnogodistan's American football team. Kelly was just like any other person trying to make the cut for the team, except for one thing: Kelly was a girl. American football in Abanhfleft had been very much a man's game, and few if any women had any interest in playing the sport. This was not to say that the women of Abanhfleft didn't like the game; they did. It was just that it never really crossed their minds to play alongside the men in one of the toughest contact sports there ever was.

But in recent years, with the country's exposure to American football teams which had regular female players in their ranks, some women in Abanhfleft were beginning to take more than just a passing interest in the game. Kelly Profit was one of those women.

Kelly was a freshman in Thereisnogodistan Community College; TCC for short. She was the cousin of TCC's star quarterback (and also the team's only quarterback) Harrison Aumann, who was already approaching the last year of his education in the college. The college's athletics program had already posted flyers throughout the campus advertising for potential recruits who could fill in for the quarterback position once Harrison had graduated. A number of students had turned up for the tryouts, but so far, none of them appeared to be good enough for coach Francois-Michel Nkong'o's liking. Kelly was the last one trying out for the afternoon, and a small crowd of students and passers-by had gathered around the college's training field to watch the girl try to make the cut.

The ball flew into Kelly's hands, and she backed away from the pocket. It seemed as if the guards and tackles had handled the blitz, if there ever was one, and now Kelly was free to look for an open man to pass the ball to. So far, she saw no one who was open enough to her liking. The receivers had men covering them, and the tailback and tight end were in congested space for Kelly to attempt a pass.

"Get rid of it!" a voice said from the sidelines. Kelly couldn't turn her head to look there, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw that it was her cousin Harrison who was doing the shouting. "Get rid of it!" Harrison repeated.

Kelly turned her head just in time to see a figure barreling down on her from her left. She tried to look for an open receiver, but there was still no one free enough to receive the pass.

"Get rid of it!" Harrison bellowed at the top of his lungs, but it was too late. Kelly was brought down to the ground, hard. "She didn't get rid of it," he muttered to Nkong'o, his soon-to-be former coach.

"Sacked your ass, Kel," Rey Kang, the new cornerback for the Atheists, said to Kelly as they both got off the ground.

"Yeah, you did, but that's just because no one on my team was open," Kelly said back. "Someone's gotta get open, guys!" she shouted at her teammates.

"That's not good, cuz," Harrison said as he walked up to Kelly on the field, just behind Nkong'o. "Getting sacked on third down is never a good thing, especially if you're chasing a lead like the scenario that we've got going right now. Your team's on 4th and 12 right, and if you don't get to move the chains on this play, then that's game over. We can't afford to punt the ball this time, so we need to get that first down. I know you can do it, Kel. We've played scrimmages like this with the family before. Show the coach what you can do. You got that?"

"I hear you, Harry," Kelly said. "D'you really think I'll make the cut?"

"Show us what you can do, cuz," Harry said, "and you're good to go."

"Thanks for the kind words, cuz," Kelly told Harry before she walked back to the huddle.

"All right, QB, what's your game plan?" asked Karl Haar, the new tight end. He was also in the same class as Kelly, and it was he who had managed to get Kelly to going to the tryouts in the first place.

"All right, this is the last drive we'll ever have," Kelly said. "You guys weren't even trying to be open in the last down. So, please, make an effort to be open, okay, guys?"

"Sure, Kel," Haar said. "Now what's your real game plan?"

"You guys know how to run a hand-off play?"

"Green 62! Green 62! Hut!" Kelly received the snap and immediately handed the ball over to Karl. Except upon closer inspection, she didn't really hand the ball over to him. But the fake hand-off was enough to distract the defense and get them chasing shadows. With now time in the pocket, Kelly was able to see Matt Boughton (yet another new arrival to the squad) open and in the end zone, and the pass was a no-brainer. If it had been a real football match, then that would have been the game-winning touchdown.

"Nice work, cuz," Harry said as Kelly's team in the tryout celebrated their "win." "Now let's see what the coach has to say."

Francois-Michel Nkong'o gave Kelly a long look, and then he held out his hand and said, "Welcome to the team, Kelly. Now, can you handle a cold snowy night in Quebec?"

by **Rennidan** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 9:03 am

I am not a kicker. I am a fighter. I am a Bastard.

Our pregame warm ups usually consist of in-fighting. Vebuch and Tremain at it with hockey style grabs and punches. Foe and Lakenheath free-form wrestling, using fishhooks and gouges.

Even the monks, Selso and Blakhale, are playing slaps whilst meditating at the 50. A lot on their minds since encountering the near total brainwashing of Gregoryisgodistan's travelling fans.

The crowd are piling into their seats. Imperial Copper, and the crowd it draws, is homely for me. Slightly run down, but loved by it's inhabitants.

The sound of practice-crushing dominates large over the thousand whispering voices.

These people, "Greggs" as we Bastards have taken to calling them, are something else.

I saw the highlights from their previous game, nearly one hundred and fifty dead, mostly their opponent's fans and a few unfortunate refs.

We Bastards have no fans travelling with us. Which means they should have no one but us to concentrate on. But, just to be sure...

_________

"--match day 2! And here we are, at the below freezing Imperial Copper Stadium for the Grid Slaves versus the Bastards! Both teams are on the field warming up and, wait the Bastards are lining up at the fifty.

They appear to be hollering at the Grid Slaves, the Bastards captain Remcae-Powis is setting a ball down. Let's cut to on field mics."

"OI ya bloody Gregslaves! Use your limited imaginations collectively with me for a second and imagine this piggyskin is your oh so honourable, oh so grand, Lord Unsightly Greggers."

"Roars of outrage as the Bastard captain, the man with the middle finger tattoo, winds up to kick. Grid Slaves are already rushing towards him as he releases. The 50 yard kick sails clean and--oh my! It bounces off the left and through--there's an all out brawl on the field! What's that sound? Holy shi--"

_______

The goalpost collapsed, and with it so did any sense of order. I had never experienced a crushing before, and now that I have, I never wish to again. The underside of Yorgen von Streudel smelt like a depository for all mankind's sweat and faeces since the beginning of time.

I got my own back on the abyss of a man. My uncle was once the best pancaker in the game. I knew how to hit the big men hardest of all.

We had already lost the game at this point. Fourth quarter, facing a 21-0 shutout.

I'm sure my arm was already dislocated at this point, but after enough punishment your nerves just stop bothering to tell your brain how bad shit is getting.

I took the snap and ran the outside route. Yorgen loomed large as I lunged in towards him, buried all myself into his gut. I felt the ribs cracking against my head (though in hindsight this may have been my own vertebrae).

The earth thundered as the Gregoliath fell, and I wheeled on for the six points.

The two pointer didn't work out, and we were still winless on the stat sheet, but we took our victories in these small moments.

This was the rebirth of the Brutes, and if it wasn't a painful struggle then we weren't doing it right.

by **The Nation of Downination** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 9:47 am

Jags Clobbered by the Armeians 7-25 Despite Many Miscues from Both Sides

The Jags played in their second match in this year's World Bowl, but it wasn't pretty from the start.

Jags Quarterback Delaney Hoffman took possession on the first drive, and was rammed by Armeian Defensive End Torrace Allen. Unfortunately, Hoffman suffered a hamstring injury that sidelined him for the rest of the game. So, Jags Backup Quarterback Max Dashwood came on, but was overwhelmed by the defense for the entire game.

"What can I do," Dashwood questioned. "when there's no one to throw it to? It's not like I'm Hoffman's clone."

On the opposing side, there were a few miscues as well. Armeian Quarterback Paulo Alecjo threw a perfectly put pass down the middle to Armeian Wide Receiver Bojan Atlewood in the second quarter, but was tipped in the air and intercepted by Jags Cornerback Dwayne Dart who then returned it to the house for 58 yards. Then, later in the third quarter, Armeian Running Back Storm Staford ran through a gaping hole only to find the ball not in his hands. Despite the fumble, Jags recovered the ball, but didn't score with it.

"Sometimes, I think about the way we play," Coach Blake Greene answered with concern. "We should probably focus on the hurry-up offense a bit more, as well as some quick throws."

When looking at the stats the Jags put up, it wasn't very satisfying. A grand total of 206 yards on offense with four turnovers allowed and eight sacks allowed. The defense then allowed 368 yards to the opposing side, making that a 162 yard differential.

"As if I saw any production from the team today," replied The Nation of Downination Leader datdownie after a conference. "Why hasn't Greene notice the potential in Thompson?! He should be focused more, he has the spectacular catches within him! I hope they scout him a bit further or this team is going down in the toliet..."

Next game for the Jags is a hard-earned team: the Taeshan Fitin' Falcons. They are ranked #6 in the World Bowl, and if they can't connect the pieces together in two days, that may be it for their run to the World Bowl.

Stat of the Day: Running Back Fred Porter has ran the ball with a mixture of outside and inside plays. He generally runs to the left, where he has accumulated 121 yards there. The middle & the left combine for only 69 yards.

by **Schottia** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 12:37 pm

'Well I have to say, this was a great idea of yours David.' Said Gabriella Alessi as she and the rest of the players carried some borrowed tables towards the team bus, which stood with its luggage doors wide open. 'If we are going to be stuck here for a bit we might as well enjoy ourselves.' Gabi had changed into jeans and a thick quilted-jacket, topped off with the hat, scarf, and woollen-mittens she had received from her mother for Christmas.

'Exactly my thoughts.' Replied David Cowden marching out in front, also suitably dressed. Only his eyes peeked out from the gap between his hat, and Handon United scurf, which was pulled up over his nose. In his hands he carried a large crate of beer, which ironically, they were having trouble keeping warm. 'And besides, I can't think of a better way to do some team bonding, apparently this sort of thing is pretty popular here and in other culturally similar nation.'

'How terribly interesting.' Gabi replied looking up at him with a smile. 'I had honestly never thought of having a party out the back of a vehicle before. I mean, I guess it rains so often in Schottia that it would be a bit pointless-plus not too many people own cars-and now that I think about it, and most of our cars are small electric vehicles and hybri... Okay know what David, I'll shut up now, I realise exactly why it doesn't make any sense in Schottia.'

Rupert Kenny laughed as he followed behind with a bag of snacks he had purchased from a supermarket round the corner. 'What did you say these things were called again Dave?' He asked quizzically. 'A tail-back?'

'Eh, Tail gait. But close.' David replied as they reached the other end of the bus, which had acquired a think layer of snow during the course of the match.

The team were all walking in a long procession. Some carried tables, some carried a chair, some of them brought food, and some kitchenware.

In spite of the bitter cold, and facing long motorway queues on the road back to the hotel, the team were in very good spirits. There was a good chance that this was Schottia's last year of really being able to call themselves underdogs, even though it was a tag that suited them in terms of mindset. They had made the last-sixteen two years running now, and if they had been able to pretend it was an accident the first time round, then they were stretching things at bit the second time. Here in the car park behind the stadium some of the players skated on patches of frozen ice, some took part in a snowball fight, while others sat crouched in the open luggage hold simply chatting.

'AAAAARGH' Young wide-receiver Mia Little screamed as she hit a piece of ice harder than she expected, falling flat on her bottom. 'Oh my God! The ice in Quebec is so much harder than it is in Schottia!' She laughed as she got to her feet, rubbing her posterior. 'Ice back home feels kind of springy.'

Lucas Popescu, one of the elder statesmen of the side was looking on. 'Yeah, that dreaded Quebecois ice.' He joked. 'It might have something to do with the fact that its about 15° colder than it is in Schottia right now.' It was true that Schottia got some cold winters, especially in the North Island, but it was nothing like this.

Lucas had to come to Schottia as a student ten years ago and had linked up with Lewis Patterson while he was still running the Gridiron society at The University of Handon, so he had been with the team from the start. In a sqaud increasingly filling up with talented youngsters he was by far the most experience player in the offensive line-up, and was arguably their main attacking threat. A lot of the eighteen, nineteen, and twenty-year-olds in the team had only really known the Schottia that made the knockout stages of major tournaments. However he had been part of the set up when they were still practicing in parks, and it definitely brought a sense of perspective. He knew it was probably only a matter of time until the younger players coming through the ranks overtook him. Nick Lovelle and Kara O'Neil were both great players for their age, and Lovelle in particular, who was his understudy in the squad, was a hundred times better than Lucas had been when he was eighteen.

'Hang on!' Gabi, who had been dancing around to keep warm walked over to where the skaters where crowded. 'Over there, sitting near the back of that truck!' She pointed to the occupants of a vehicle, who looked to be engaged in a similar tailgate event. 'Is that... Is that the referee.'

'Referee, what?' Mia adjusted her glasses, which had slipped down her nose in the fall. 'Which referee? Where?' She asked eventually, as she was none the wiser.

'Our referee, from the match with Regalius!' Gabi pointed more vigorously prodding hard with her finger and jumping on the spot.

'HA! Good God, I think it is.' Said Lucas eventually noticing the parked truck in question. 'Maybe that was why kick off was delayed, because the party over run.' He added in way of a joke.

'Hmmm.' Mia raised an eyebrow and gave him a sceptical smile. 'Good theory Lucas, but I don't thing a Wold Bowl sanctioned referee would be so unprofessional.'

'And would you think that a professional Gridiron player would hurt their bum sliding around on the ice like a child' Gabi gave Mia a jab in the ribs to accompany her cheep shot. 'I hear these car-tail-party-thingies...

'Tailgates?' Rupert offered.

...thank you Rupert. Tailgates can get pretty wild out here.' Gabi gave a very grave look.

'You don't mean, like, alcohol or... or or even recreational drug use?' Mia gulped loudly.

'Yes Mai.' Said Rupert after a pause. 'I think that's exactly what Gabi was getting at.'

by **Ko-oren** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:07 pm

POWER Rankings

After MD2

This early into the tournament, it's still very tempting to look at the high ranked teams and just put them into the top 10. At the same time, most teams have played twice so as far as early opinions go, we can tell which teams will be legit and which aren't. Don't burn any team just yet, they might turn it around in the remaining matchdays.

The top ten in rankings have the following teams: Allamunnic States, Ko-oren, Gregoryisgodistan, Nassau-Hessen, Taeshan, Schottia, Equestrian States, Quebec, Kaboomlandia and Cosumar. Our rankings before the tournament would probably look very much like that. Now however, we can see how some groups shape up.

The first thing that pops up is that all of these teams are 2-0, except for Taeshan which is 1-1. None of these teams have had their bye yet. Nassau-Hessen, despite the two victories, are third in their group behind San Llera and Firebolt. Another observation at first glance: Abanhfleft have a legit defence with zero points conceded, and Schottia have a legit offence at 89 points in two games.

That obviously doesn't tell all of the story. Different opponents of different strengths, and by the time the good teams play each other five out of seven teams will have gone home. Therefore, we present to you, the very premature POWER Rankings:

1. Kaboomlandia. They lead the group over some talented teams (Gregoryisgodistan, Banija, Frenline Delpha and Oisinistan) and they just come off of a 38-0 win over the latter. The true test will come versus Gregoryisgodistan.

2. Royal Kingdom of Quebec. They have beaten German Ohio 27-7, but that is not why they are here. In the first round they have beaten Barunia, a very respected team ranked 32nd. That aside, they also enjoy home advantage.

3. Ko-oren. Sure, homer pick in third, but hear me out. They defeated Bongo Johnson 39-0 who are ranked 29th, being the second most difficult opponent they'll face (the other being Thereisnogodistan). Zero points conceded. Thirty-nine scored. This offence is going places, which is the only thing this team has ever needed apart from its stellar defence. Apart from that, all other teams in this group are unranked.

4. Allamunnic States. They also come off of a victory over a ranked team (four out of seven teams in every group being unranked), and they showed class in that. They are already ahead of the rest of the group in victories being the only 2-0 team. In their first game, they only allowed one field goal, and beside that they are the reigning number one.

5. Gregoryisgodistan. They have only played unranked foes so far, so their top 5 ranking here only comes off of their previous endeavours in earlier World Bowls. Still, the perennially scary team is back and always going to at least the final four.

6. Schottia. They are good, and the only reason they are so low is because they only have beaten unranked teams so far. They have posted better numbers than most of the teams on this list, but are sixth due to their strength (rather: weakness) of schedule, and only below Gregoryisgodistan based on how promising that team always is.

7. Equestrian States. In a group with the higher ranked Cosumar, the States have won with bigger numbers, hence their ranking over Cosumar (and by extension most other teams).

8. Cosumar. Below the Equestrian States, but still over all other teams. Matchday four will be a good one with the Equestrian States taking on Cosumar.

9. Nassau-Hessen. They are in the top 10, but just barely. They are 2-0, but we had expected better with just games against the unranked teams. They have allowed six points, which is very good, but an offence the caliber of theirs should be better than the 17 points they have put up so far.

10. Thereisnogodistan. They are the only 1-0 team in this list, so there is not much we can say about them yet. They are in the Ko-orenite group, so matchday three we will have a huge game coming up with the two heavyweights in Group G battling it out. The winner will probably have the group to themselves apart from any big mess the winner might still fall into. And Thereisnogodistan have won their first game 38-3 - no small feat.

by **Shytysle** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:30 pm

It's never good to start a match by conceding a touchdown.

Less so when your kick returner manages to fumble the ball from the kick-off and your opponents score from that.

The first ever play Shytysle would receive in international match and their star Wide Receiver Lyn Swypht dropped it allowing The Boatia an easy score before the match was even truly underway. Luckily for the Shytyslanders, this kind of humiliating opening was the perfect way to fire up the squad and provoke them into fighting for a comeback. It took until the second quarter for Shytysle to get themselves on the scoreboard. Despite an obvious want to try a fake on a 4th down field goal attempt, Gerrowderryt put the kick through the uprights to get Shytysle off the mark.

After The Boatia went 3 and out following the restart, it took a single inspired running play from Gooba to find a gap out wide and break through for the touchdown with Gerrowderryt dutyfully converted. At the half, Shytysle led 10 to 7.

The second half began slowly. Both teams looking to find or create a greater margin for themselves without allowing their opposition to score and chains of tentative attacks rounded off with punts filled the majority of the third quarter.

The Boatia began the 4th quarter in possession. Failing to convert on a 2nd down running play, they went to the air on the 3rd only to watch as Jharred Phyts-le-Prons picked the pass intended for the TE and charged into around the line and into a clear backfield. 16-7 to Shytysle.
Whether Lyn Swypht's darting run which only narrowly broke the plain of the end-zone (upon review) was needed to give the 2pt conversion was a moot point as Shytysle open their campaign with a safe and well-deserved win.

by **Frenline Delpha** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:57 pm

Frenlinian Factation

Article A

1/8/15

President Addresses Gregoryisgodistan Brutality

The president addresses the Frenlinian public in the Announcement Hall

After the World Bowl match two days ago in the Royal Kingdom of Quebec, the Frenlinian parliament was called to an emergency meeting by President Samuel Snaker. The reason given for the meeting was to protect "Frenlinian players, fans, and referees who will be playing, watching, or officiating a game in which Gregoryisgodistan is participating." The meeting lasted eight hours, and apparently involved several different opinions before a consensus was met. After the meeting was adjourned, Samuel Snaker called a national press conference to discuss the actions that were to be placed on Gregoryisgodistan if incidents like this happened again.

"Frenlinians of all shaped and sizes, I am here today to address the disgusting violence that was directed towards the officials of the match. After referring with members of parliament, we have decided to issue an ultimatum towards Gregoryisgodistan. Shall any referee be crushed for preforming their duties during a match with Gregoryisgodistan as a participant, Frenline Delpha will immediately send an aerial, naval, and land blockade around the entire country. Further more, if any Frenline Delpha fan is crushed during a match where Gregoryisgodistan is participating, we will consider this an act of war. If it comes to this, Frenline Delpha will immediately send troops to Gregoryisgodistan. Should a Frenlinian player be hurt by a Gregoryisgodistan "enemy crusher," we request that Gregoryisgodistan pays the medical bills of that player. If a Frenlinian player is killed by a so-called enemy crusher, the use of tactical carpet bombings will be authorized, and an all out war will ensue.

We recommend that Gregoryisgodistan keeps its players in check, and that Quebec looks into the actions taken by several enemy crushers during the first night's matches. However, this only applies to Frenlinian players, fans, and any officials at the game. Should Gregoryisgodistan kill other nation's players or fans, we will not have an issue. These measures are to prevent the killing of any Frenlinian citizens in Quebec."

After the news conference, the president announced that he would be leaving to make sure that none of the terms of the ultimatum were violated during Frenline Delpha's time at the World Bowl. He has a special box dedicated for him, and security will follow him 24-7. We wish him and all our players good luck at the World Bowl.

by **The Fair Republic** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 4:49 pm

Head Coach: Buck Natters, 78

Strategy: On offence, Natters uses a 2 RB set and uses a smashmouth running attack to force the safeties to watch the RB and then airs it out deep to the wideouts and uses the TE either as a blocker or a receiver. On defense, Naters uses a complex zone blitz scheme that involves LB's and DE's dropping in and out of zone coverage changing blitzing schemes while the CB's play man on the outside helped out by the safeties to watch any deep pass

Roster:
Offense:
Quarterback: Buck Williams
Running-back: Adrian Crawford
Fullback: Darius T. Jermichael V.
Center: Nagi Ja
Right Tackle: Mike Enders
Left Tackle: Milos Cruz
Right Guard: Joe Valentine
Left Guard: Clay Clayson
Tight End: Brain Udderson
Wide Receivers: Ryan Smith, Gideon Clarke
Defense:
Left End: Matt Stevens
Right End: Curt Actonel
Defensive Tackles: Vince Adams, George Mason
Line Backers: Nigel Rodgers, Jason Clayton, Henry Jones
Corner Backs: Djoti Itojda, Tom Smith
Safeties: Anton Travers-Filler, Lucas Yargin
Special Teams:
Kicker: Brandon Yarlson
Punter: Rick Blane
Long Snapper: Jeff Vitter
KR/PR: Devin Jones

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my scorers: Y
Choose scoring events: Y
RP injuries to my players: N
Godmod scoring events: Y
Godmod injuries: N
Godmod other events: Y
Style addition: -1

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