NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

by **Bears Armed** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:44 am

Annihilators of Chan Island wrote:Been sitting on issue 465 for a few days to play games with my fellow DENizens. Here you go.

Lottocracy Causing Lots Of Trouble

The Issue

To call the Annihilators of Chan Islandian Parliament unusual would be an understatement. The nation's randomly selected legislators are from all walks of life, but they lack the attention one would expect from career politicians.

The Debate

"This is insane," raves Kathleen Brown, a popular TV personality, on her nightly political diatribe. "We have legislators who don't show up because they 'just aren't feeling it today.' Others are only interested in their pet causes, and they can't be bothered with essential bills like the annual budget. And the vast majority of our MPs have only a cursory knowledge of civics; they're baffled by fiscal and monetary policy.
This incompetent government is going to grind our nation to the ground if we keep choosing representatives via lottery. Annihilators of Chan Island needs actual voting and elections, so we can have a modicum of meritocracy. And just as a warning, I'll be running for Parliament myself."

Accept

"Our system of allotment works just fine as is," says Bill Licorish, a senile MP while ironing his togas for the third time in a row. "Career politicians only run for office because they want to increase their own prestige and power at the expense of everyone else. Randomly selected citizens, on the other hand, actually represent the will of the people. The lots don't discriminate on beliefs or lifestyle or looks or experience when they choose representatives. Sortition is the embodiment of equality; hence we should expand the lottocracy to randomly select all government officials without exception. Now where did I put the ceremonial sorting hat for the next inauguration? I must have lost it at... uhm... where did I go today?"

Accept

Stephanie Longbottom, a history professor who also won a seat in Parliament, has another proposal. "We should preserve our tradition of sortition, but Annihilators of Chan Island needs a balance between political principles and political reality. We need a formalized method to get rid of the incompetents by means of a vote of no confidence. If a majority of MPs want the habitually absent or the irredeemably stupid removed from the legislature, expressed via motion, then a vote of no confidence can be executed. Then when we have a dependable quorum, I can finally get my Acropolis Restoration Project bill passed."

Accept

The Government Position

The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by: The Destructive DEN Army of Annihilators of Chan Island
Editor: Lenyo

And this differs from elected politicians how?

by **Chan Island** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 9:13 am

Bears Armed wrote:
Annihilators of Chan Island wrote:Been sitting on issue 465 for a few days to play games with my fellow DENizens. Here you go.

Lottocracy Causing Lots Of Trouble

The Issue

To call the Annihilators of Chan Islandian Parliament unusual would be an understatement. The nation's randomly selected legislators are from all walks of life, but they lack the attention one would expect from career politicians.

The Debate

"This is insane," raves Kathleen Brown, a popular TV personality, on her nightly political diatribe. "We have legislators who don't show up because they 'just aren't feeling it today.' Others are only interested in their pet causes, and they can't be bothered with essential bills like the annual budget. And the vast majority of our MPs have only a cursory knowledge of civics; they're baffled by fiscal and monetary policy.
This incompetent government is going to grind our nation to the ground if we keep choosing representatives via lottery. Annihilators of Chan Island needs actual voting and elections, so we can have a modicum of meritocracy. And just as a warning, I'll be running for Parliament myself."

Accept

"Our system of allotment works just fine as is," says Bill Licorish, a senile MP while ironing his togas for the third time in a row. "Career politicians only run for office because they want to increase their own prestige and power at the expense of everyone else. Randomly selected citizens, on the other hand, actually represent the will of the people. The lots don't discriminate on beliefs or lifestyle or looks or experience when they choose representatives. Sortition is the embodiment of equality; hence we should expand the lottocracy to randomly select all government officials without exception. Now where did I put the ceremonial sorting hat for the next inauguration? I must have lost it at... uhm... where did I go today?"

Accept

Stephanie Longbottom, a history professor who also won a seat in Parliament, has another proposal. "We should preserve our tradition of sortition, but Annihilators of Chan Island needs a balance between political principles and political reality. We need a formalized method to get rid of the incompetents by means of a vote of no confidence. If a majority of MPs want the habitually absent or the irredeemably stupid removed from the legislature, expressed via motion, then a vote of no confidence can be executed. Then when we have a dependable quorum, I can finally get my Acropolis Restoration Project bill passed."

Accept

The Government Position

The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by: The Destructive DEN Army of Annihilators of Chan Island
Editor: Lenyo

And this differs from elected politicians how?

Because elected politicians can at least pretend to be competent and to care about things that aren't their pet causes.

by **Divine Cervine** » Thu Dec 10, 2015 11:23 am

Issue #469

by **Christian Democrats** » Thu Dec 10, 2015 6:29 pm

Divine Cervine wrote:Issue #469

Shoot To Earn

The Issue

With the smoke clearing in war-torn Tasmania, the international community has begun discussing a peacekeeping effort. As your neighbors in @@REGION@@ have started logistical preparations, @@NAME@@ has now been called upon to contribute.

The Debate

1. "The truth is we're not capable of contributing to a peacekeeping effort, as of today," states your top military advisor @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while polishing his only medal. "That would require a substantial reorganization of our forces for international peacekeeping. Give me the time and the means to build up a modern army, and I'll have Tasmania off the map in no time! Uhm, I mean I'll keep the peace in no time, or... Whatever, just give me the money."

2. "I can think of a thousand reasons why rebuilding the army is a bad idea," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a prudent young adviser from the Ministry of Finance. "But you really only need the one: the expense! And for what? Tasmania? In two years they'll just have another civil war. If you absolutely must polish our reputation, throw some aid money their way. Not a lot, mind you, but just enough to get those do-gooders off our backs."

3. "You know, there's another way to get boots on the ground," says @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, a Maxtopian mercenary calling from a shaky mobile connection while rinsing today's war crimes out of her khakis. "My civilian contractors are highly trained and disciplined men and women - well, they're highly trained - ready to supply logistics, transport and security. We can easily supply foreigners to help keep the peace for you, and it saves you the discomfort of having @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ soldiers die in far-flung corners of the world."

Issue by: The Prosaic Union of Gnejs
Editor: Lenyo

Added. Thanks.

by **Wrapper** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 4:52 am

Omigodtheykilledkenny wrote:Yay!

Issue #464 wrote:The @@ANIMAL@@ Republic Shall Rise Again? [Omigodtheykilledkenny; ed. Gnejs]:

Gah! Been working on a "rainbowstika" draft offline for awhile (been distracted by RP), then just got this one this morning. Good work on this one, Kenny!

by **Sanctaria** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 4:54 am

It's like being Santa Claus, seeing the joy on people's face when they get that TG about an issue of theirs being accepted.

God bless us, every one. Or whatever.

by **Bears Armed** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 5:33 am

Sanctaria wrote:It's like being Santa Claus, seeing the joy on people's face when they get that TG about an issue of theirs being accepted.

So, despite previous disclaimers, the game's staff can look out through players' screens?!?

___________________________________________________________________________________

We have #470...

Tide Stops For No Man

The Issue

The tragic news that seaside resort town @@ANIMAL@@ville-on-Sea has now become @@ANIMAL@@ville-under-Sea has brought the issue of coastal erosion to your attention.

The Debate

Enthusiastically swinging a bucket and spade, Colin Patel of the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Tourism Bureau implores you to strengthen the coastal defences. "We need groynes, sea walls, revetments, gabions - whatever you can get us! Without this protection, dozens more beautiful beaches and tourist hotspots will be lost to the sea, and then where will you go on holiday? Bigtopia?! Don't make me laugh."

"Why spend millions of florins protecting provincial villages?" scoffs penthouse-dwelling urbanite Sarah Mistletoe. "Sea levels are rising, and they're going to be destroyed eventually. How much money are we going to pour down the drain before we realise these seagull-infested dumps aren't worth saving? Leave the hoi-polloi to their run-down resorts; I'm jetting off to Tasmania."

"Sea levels are rising, but that's only because we're destroying mother earth!" screeches near-hysterical environmental campaigner Sarah Longbottom, who for no apparent reason has chained herself to a nearby tree. "Encouraging even more construction and air travel only exacerbates the problem. Instead we should be promoting sustainable eco-tourism: if tourists want to enjoy what @@NAME@@ has to offer, they should offset their carbon emissions. They can start by planting a tree."

"All of them have it wrong!" exclaims local nutter Robin Cho, half-submerged in the sea, and apparently trying to turn back the tide. "In this modern age, why accept that coastal erosion marks the end of things? With enough determination, and massive amounts of money, we could reclaim the land from the sea, and turn this sunken Atlantis into the go-to destination of @@REGION@@!"

Issue by: The Oh My GOD! What were they thinking! He's a MODERATOR! of Sedgistan
Editor: Sedgistan

by **Christian Democrats** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 10:11 am

Issue #470 added!

Bears Armed, you missed half of the macros.

by **Omigodtheykilledkenny** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 1:37 pm

Trotterdam wrote:
Drachmaland wrote:Obviously the name Mike Ronation (cf. micronation) is not random.
It's from here. It was originally going to be "Max Barry", and then the more-amusing "Mike Rowe" (as in "Mike Rowe Nation" = "the nation of Mike Rowe"), but was then changed to avoid offending the real-life Mike Rowe.

Also, yay, the option I suggested made it in, even though the original writer didn't like it! I guess I have Nation of Quebec to thank for that?

My title suggestion didn't make it, though. The Issue Editors must have a Taylor Swift fan among them.

by **Gnejs** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 1:47 pm

Omigodtheykilledkenny wrote:The Issue Editors must have a Taylor Swift fan among them.

Yeah, guess which one

(not me!)

by **Nation of Quebec** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 2:54 pm

Omigodtheykilledkenny wrote:
Trotterdam wrote:It's from here. It was originally going to be "Max Barry", and then the more-amusing "Mike Rowe" (as in "Mike Rowe Nation" = "the nation of Mike Rowe"), but was then changed to avoid offending the real-life Mike Rowe.

Also, yay, the option I suggested made it in, even though the original writer didn't like it! I guess I have Nation of Quebec to thank for that?

My title suggestion didn't make it, though. The Issue Editors must have a Taylor Swift fan among them.

All I'll say is that the title we ended up with wasn't the one I originally suggested for the issue.

by **The Misconception** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 7:24 am

Naelosia wrote:"The Silence and the Fury" needs a third moderate option for restricting noise Ievels at certain times of day.

yeah, ive now taken to dismissing this issue. I find issues with only two options often annoying.

by **Phydios** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 10:18 am

#472 spotted! I think the names are hard-coded rather than generated via macros.

by **Trotterdam** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 11:01 am

Phydios wrote:#472 spotted! I think the names are hard-coded rather than generated via macros.

The third option is a @@RANDOMNAME@@ (I got Sarah Hernandez). Ronald Rump is probably a pun on Donald Trump.

Minor nitpick: the issue pluralizes "AI" in two different ways: in the opening description it uses "AI's", while in the third option it just uses "AI" with a plural verb (twice) as if it's its own plural. I much prefer "AIs".

EDIT: This also applies to the [effect] lines. One again uses "AI" as a plural, while another goes as far as to use a spelled-out "artificial intelligence" as a plural, instead of "artificial intelligences".

And... the issue might have a fourth option visible to some nations. I'm detecting something suspicious.

by **Mitoland** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 11:12 am

I found #451.

#451: Heads Will Roll

The Issue

Earlier this week an entire chapter of the motorcycle gang Daughters of Disorder was involved in a nasty accident on one of Mitoland's major highways, leaving several of them dead. After medical personnel later ascertained that the use of helmets could have saved their lives, your Minister of Health and Public Safety made a statement proposing a set of new security measures mandatory for all motorcycle riders. The initiative has sparked debate, and is facing strong opposition from motorcycle enthusiasts.

The Debate

"This law would violate our religious right to wear our sacred top hats while riding motorcycles!" exclaims Colin O'Bannon, president of the Violetist Scooter Corps, as he points his ceremonial blade at your chest. "We have worn the top hat in times of war on the battlefield! Our protection comes from Violet herself! Require the ungodly heathens to wear helmets! Those who are chosen by Violet to ride will ride in style or die trying!"

"The stove pipe is right, helmets are lame!" agrees Dean James, your slacker nephew. "How am I going to impress any babes if I have helmet hair?" he asks, running his hand through his hair while checking out your secretary over his sunglasses. "Do the right thing boss; helmets are for losers."

"Don't listen to him, dear," says your sister, while she drags her son towards the door by the ear. "You had the right idea: everyone riding a motorcycle should wear a helmet, and a padded full body protective suit, and a reflective vest, and neck warmers and..." she continues listing security gear as she leaves the room with your nephew in tow.

"It's not enough!" screams one of your junior aides, a fragile and slightly confused soul who was particularly disturbed by the recent accident. "It's not just traffic! People slip in the shower every day, cans fall on their heads in supermarkets, disoriented birds; we're all exposed, at all times! If people are too stupid to realize that, we have to make them! There should be a helmet law for everyone! Wear a helmet or go to jail!"

by **Drachmaland** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 12:58 pm

Mitoland, are you sure this is #451? I believe it's #456, no?

by **Mitoland** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 1:07 pm

I stand corrected. To be fair, I am really tired right now, not really paying attention to what I'm doing.

by **Luna Amore** » Tue Dec 15, 2015 10:40 pm

Omigodtheykilledkenny wrote:
Trotterdam wrote:It's from here. It was originally going to be "Max Barry", and then the more-amusing "Mike Rowe" (as in "Mike Rowe Nation" = "the nation of Mike Rowe"), but was then changed to avoid offending the real-life Mike Rowe.

Also, yay, the option I suggested made it in, even though the original writer didn't like it! I guess I have Nation of Quebec to thank for that?

My title suggestion didn't make it, though. The Issue Editors must have a Taylor Swift fan among them.

Wait, there are people who aren't fans of Taylor Swift? Is such a thing even possible?

by **Bears Armed Mission** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 10:24 am

Luna Amore wrote:Taylor Swift

Who?

Anyhows, we have #473:

A-B-C, Easy As Don't Use Me

The Issue
An enterprising @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ citizen has begun manufacturing matryoshka dolls of legendary pop star Jack Michaelson without his permission. In response, his management company has been spectacularly persistent in demanding royalties from the dolls' sales. Contract lawyers, dressed as zombies and petitioning with uncanny rhythm, are camped around the clock outside of the capitol. Tired of the incessant pop music, you have sat down to negotiate a solution.

The Debate
1. "I'm thrilled to finally settle this problem," says Jack Michaelson while moonwalking back and forth in your office, "You see, the matryoshka manufacturers are exploiting my likeness without my permission. That's theft unless I get a cut. Anyone who disagrees can just beat it." The pop star exits with his pet monkey in tow.

2. Entrepreneur @@RANDOMNAME@@ lays a bizarre assortment of white glove-themed matryoshka dolls on your desk. "These are original works of art that the record label did nothing to create. Just because my work may RESEMBLE famous people like, say Mr. Michaelson or yourself, doesn't mean I've stolen anything. It's not so black and white, the question of image laws."

3. "You're forgetting the bigger problem," pontificates @@RANDOMNAME@@, while carving a matryoshka doll in the old style, "These pop art abominations are ruining our @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ culture. I'm sick and tired of foreign pop music and other trash drowning out our national customs. Tradition dictates that a matryoshka doll is a series of nested babushki, not postmodern kitsch like political figures and disco stars."

Issue by: The Socialist Republic of Lenyo
Editor: Lenyo

The name 'Jack Michaelson' is presumably hard-coded, rather than random.

I'm not absolutely sure about the other two names, but neither looks to me as though it comes from the randomised list (unless that list has recently been expanded?).

by **Roikstead** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 10:27 am

i got a bdsm issue which i did not want to touch but i let the masters walk their slaves in the park anyways

by **Lenyo** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 10:27 am

The people in options #2 and #3 are random names; NS just has a lot of unusual randomly generated names.

by **Bears Armed** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 10:45 am

Lenyo wrote:The people in options #2 and #3 are random names; NS just has a lot of unusual randomly generated names.

Okay, I'll edit the copy above accordingly.

by **Trotterdam** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:17 am

Why don't you edit the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@s too, while you're at it?

by **Nerodanus** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:19 am

by **Luna Amore** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:26 am

Please don't tag threads. Tags are unnecessary as we have a Subscribe to thread feature.

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