IBS X- Everything Thread (IC)

[Kaboomlandia]

Phoenix close in on playoff berth with win

The Kaboomlandian baseball team is closing in on their goal: a second straight playoff berth. With the team 6-2 after a 3-1 victory over Camelone, the team is inching closer to the No. 1 seed in the group and a favourable seed. With a 6-2 record, the team is six points up on the two second-place teams - the Serbian Empire and Ruairikstan. When asked, manager Ryan Peart told reporters that the team still had to maintain their game, given the club's 0-2 record against the Ruarbears:

"This is a team that's shocked us twice before. We need to be ready for them this time around."

Game 9 is scheduled for 4:30 Kaboomlandian time today.

[South Yerfilag]

covering the 10th International Baseball Slam

---

JESSAMINE LASTINGS: And that's the final out of the match. That's not good for RSY Eagles at all, as we now move to 4-4 in Group H, and --

(The Group Stage table appears in front of the aerial spider cam from Woodman Park:)

Group H                             Pld W-L RF-RA RD Pts 
1 Potataca Potatos                   8 5-3 36-29 +7  15
2 Nassau Eagles                      8 5-3 26-25 +1  15
3 South Yerfilag Eagles              8 4-4 20-19 +1  12
4 Acronius Foxhounds                 8 2-6 22-31 −9  06

LASTINGS: Oh shit! (LASTINGS covers her mouth.) Oh my goodness, I apologise for that outburst. That was very unbecoming of me. I was just surprised at the Group Stage listing. We are now bumped down to third in the group, as this game was needed to guarantee the Eagles a playoff berth here in the IBS.

WILL PERRY: Indeed. All swearing aside, it's still a hotly-contested battle up here at Woodman Park, with the Eagles only three points (and a game) behind both Potataca and Nassau-Hessen. And look at poor Acronius!

LASTINGS: Yes, I do feel sorry for the Foxhounds. They've played brilliantly and have only managed to win two of their eight bouts here at the Park.

PERRY: Now, at the beginning of the IBS, you said you were hoping that both "Eagles" teams would make it into the playoff. That seems more of a distinct possibility more than a distant one at this point.

LASTINGS: Well, our Eagles are going to have to fight an uphill battle from now on, as the best situation for them to even make the playoffs would be to win the remaining four group stage matches, two against Acronius and one more against the current top 2 teams in the group.

PERRY: Well, how do you think our team will do, South Yerfilag? Let's ask their manager, Margie Kierkegaard, what her plan is. She's over at the press box now with the YBC Sport team.

(Cue the press box at the entrance of Woodman Park, where MARGARETHA KIERKEGAARD, manager of the Eagles and head of the SYBSA, stands before a lectern with an IBS logo on it.)

RANDOM PRESS MEMBER #1: So, Ms. Kierkegaard, what's on the line for the Eagles now, as you have now been bumped off the contention table?

KIERKEGAARD: Don't count us out yet. There are still four matches to go, and two of them are against both of the teams we're below. A win against either one of those teams will most likely guarantee us at least a tie for second-place in the group. Don't let the numbers lie to you.

(Jump-cut back to the press booth.)

LASTINGS: I apologise for the quick jump-cut, but I understand we have a developing story happening in Rushmore, regarding the proposal for a regional government. More on that now, from your local Vortcom news desk.

[Frenline Delpha]

Cut-Off
Also, I will have to get a moderation report to fix South Yerfilag's mistake.

Group A
Boatia Llamas                               0 1 3 0 0 0 0 0 0  4
Schiltzberg Schiltz Burgers                 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0  2

Nova Anglicana Lions                        1 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0  3
Stuzemstazem Green Bulls                    2 0 2 0 0 0 0 1 X  5

Group A                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Nova Anglicana Lions                         9    5   4    51   34  +17    15
2 Schiltzberg Schiltz Burgers                  9    5   4    42   38   +4    15
3 Stuzemstazem Green Bulls                     9    4   5    41   48   −7    12
4 Boatia Llamas                                9    4   5    41   55  −14    12

Group B
Pulunia Redwhite                            1 0 2 0 0 0 1 0 0  4
Torisakia Ice Birds                         0 0 2 0 1 0 0 0 0  3

Coconut Isle Dwarfs                         0 0 0 0 1 0 0 2 0  3
Shadownia Fruitbat Mafia                    0 0 0 0 0 2 0 1 1  4

Group B                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Pulunia Redwhite                             9    5   4    38   33   +5    15
2 Shadownia Fruitbat Mafia                     9    5   4    40   39   +1    15
3 Coconut Isle Dwarfs                          9    4   5    40   40    0    12
4 Torisakia Ice Birds                          9    4   5    36   42   −6    12

Group C
Abanhfleft Revolution                       0 0 1 0 0 2 4 4 2 13
Silvacometopia Sharks                       0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 0  2

Pinoyistan Destoroyers                      0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 2  3
San Llera San Llerans                       0 0 1 0 0 3 0 0 X  4

Group C                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Abanhfleft Revolution                        9    7   2    51   30  +21    21
2 San Llera San Llerans                        9    7   2    45   35  +10    21
3 Silvacometopia Sharks                        9    4   5    30   38   −8    12
4 Pinoyistan Destoroyers                       9    0   9    14   37  −23     0

Group D
Ruairikstan Ruarbears                       0 0 2 0 0 0 0 1 1  4
Kaboomlandia Phoenix                        3 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 X  5

Camelone Ultras                             0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 0  3
The Serbian Empire 66ers                    0 2 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1  4

Group D                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Kaboomlandia Phoenix                         9    7   2    51   30  +21    21
2 The Serbian Empire 66ers                     9    5   4    35   33   +2    15
3 Ruairikstan Ruarbears                        9    4   5    24   33   −9    12
4 Camelone Ultras                              9    2   7    27   41  −14     6

[Schiltzberg]

Groups E-H Match Day 9

Group E
Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves       0 0 0 4 0 1 0 0 0  5
Frenline Delpha Anacondas          1 2 0 0 0 0 4 0 X  7

Levivania Dohickeys                1 0 0 2 1 0 0 0 0  4
Ethane Red Stars                   0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0  2

Group E                            Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves       9 6 3 54 28 +26 18
2 Ethane Red Stars                   9 6 3 34 37  −3 18
3 Levivania Dohickeys                9 3 6 36 46 −10  9
4 Frenline Delpha Anacondas          9 3 6 35 48 −13  9

Group F
The Sword Bloke Thunder                 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0  2
United States of Devonta Thundersticks  4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 X  4

Koana Islands Warriors             0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0  1
Elykyellek Stars                   0 2 0 0 1 0 0 0 X  3

Group F                                 Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 United States of Devonta Thundersticks  9 6 3 46 42  +4 18
2 Koana Islands Warriors                  9 5 4 39 37  +2 15
3 The Sword Bloke Thunder                 9 4 5 41 39  +2 12
4 Elykyellek Stars                        9 3 6 40 48  −8  9

Group G
Ferret Civilization Ferrets        2 0 2 0 0 0 1 0 1  6
Oisinistan Red Storm               0 1 0 0 0 2 0 1 0  4

Lisander Arminhos                  0 3 0 1 1 0 2 1 0  8
Avercari Cassowaries               0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  1

Group G                            Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 Lisander Arminhos                  9 7 2 54 32 +22 21
2 Oisinistan Red Storm               9 4 5 45 40  +5 12
3 Ferret Civilization Ferrets        9 4 5 42 55 −13 12
4 Avercari Cassowaries               9 3 6 35 49 −14  9

Group H
Potataca Potatos                   1 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 2  6
Nassau Eagles                      0 0 0 4 0 1 3 0 X  8

South Yerfilag Eagles              0 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 4  7
Acronius Foxhounds                 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0  2

Group H                            Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 Nassau Eagles                      9 6 3 34 31  +3 18
2 South Yerfilag Eagles              9 5 4 27 21  +6 15
3 Potataca Potatos                   9 5 4 42 37  +5 15
4 Acronius Foxhounds                 9 2 7 24 38 −14  6

[Ferret Civilization]

The game against the Red Storm team turned out to be unexpected, not only did they win but they were able to get an early lead and keep it. Something that brightened up the team somehow even more. While the other team was still able to get past them with a few runs, that was to be expected since they still really had no measurable skill. Though they did better than they thought, way better, every win added to that mentality of success even without actually overall winning. The fact that they could and did win, even with the losses, showed all of them that they could do something more. Even with the losses in those games they were able to get some runs, which also was way more than expected. Wit only a few more games left, the entire team continued to use the seemly never ending rush to explore the new place they were in while also trying to practice more given what they continued to learn from the other teams they were playing against.

Seoc continued to observe how well the whole team worked together in and out of the game setting. All of them were a great bunch, he continued to look forward to working with them. He continued on working on how to work on being a better manager, or work on getting a better speech before every game. With the team so excited still just to be here it and all of them working together so hard he really didn't have to work that hard. They all knew they were not the best, or probably even good if they looked at every other team, so there was no point in getting upset about that. All of them had something to be glad about, and with the joy of playing a game just to get exposure was probably the best reason to do something. The game today showed that they could win, and even though in the end they already had lost, they still all knew they had their few wins. So even during the games the whole team continued to try and find ways to have more fun or make the others laugh, which had proved to be a good tactic in getting them to try even harder to win. When this is finally over, Seoc and everyone else had already chalked this up to be a great experience.

[Kaboomlandia]

Phoenix Finally Defeat Ruairikstan

The Kaboomlandia Phoenix finally defeated Ruairikstan. But it wasn't easy, either. This team barely led 5-3 after eight innings, and only an iffy called strike kept the Phoenix from having to go to extra innings. Hayden McAllister started on the mound, but it was Roberto Kosowan who finished the game. And he barely finished, too. The team jumped out to a 3-0 lead after one and was up 4-2 after three innings, but nearly blew it thanks to a couple of wild pitches by Kosowan:

"Soviet Sid up to bat. Kosowan throws, and it catches Sid in the shoulder! Sid didn't like that, yelling at Kosowan and will take the base. Bases loaded now for the Ruarbears trailing by one run in the top of the ninth. Two outs here. Next batter up is Shia LaBeouf."

"LaBeouf now with a 2-2 count. Kosowan throws, just outside for a ball. 3-2 count. Two outs. Bases loaded. Crunch time for Roberto Kosowan. He throws...and it stays inside for the strike! Strike! Strike! Phoenix win the ball game and are now one win away from clinching the group!"

The Phoenix hung on to win 5-4. The team has a chance to lock up the #1 seed in their group tomorrow if they defeat the Serbian Empire.

[Schiltzberg]

JEFF FITZHUGH'S A DAD!

On Thursday morning, Mrs. Patty Fitzhugh, wife of two years of Schiltzbergian center fielder Jeff Fitzhugh, went into labor with their first child, and was brought to Virginia Memorial Hospital in New Schiltzbierg immediately. She was quoted saying to Jeff on her way into the hospital's lobby, "Honey, I love you. Go get those Green Bulls," and then reportedly asked him why the hell he wasn't getting ready for the game yet.

Anyway, Jeff Fitzhugh took the field today, but was quoted before the game saying, "I feel like it is very immoral what I am doing right now. I feel like I should be with her (Patty) right now."

Fitzhugh seemed to be under a lot of pressure for the entirety of the game. He struck out swinging at a ball in the dirt in the first inning, then struck out again in the third inning, and made an error on top of that in the fifth inning. He just seemed to be off his game, and it was obvious that he was not totally there for the game this afternoon, and obviously had other things on his mind.

Fitzhugh was removed from the game after the fifth inning, and apparently sent off to be with his wife. After the game, manager Robert Evans commented, "Yeah, well today wasn't his day for baseball. Every day is his day for baseball, but today was different. It isn't every day that you have a kid, I guess."

At 4:00pm Schiltzberg Standard Time, it was announced that Jefferson Joseph Ratzinger Fitzhugh, Jr. had been born earlier that afternoon measuring twenty inches, and weighing eight pounds, seven ounces. For you non-math types, that is about the weight of 25 baseballs. We will certainly keep our eyes out in the future for this kid, who very well could be just as good as his dad is some day.

This is your New Schiltzbierg Times Sports News!

[Abanhfleft]

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six

There's the Way, Where's the Will?, Part Seven

"Someone's looking real mad at breakfast tonight," Matt Koppelberg said as he slid into the seat beside his younger brother, Japheth, who was staring sullenly at the bacon on his plate. "Mind telling me what's on your mind, little man?"

"I really don't want to talk about it," Japheth replied, rubbing his head with his hands and laying his elbows down on the table.

"Come on, Japhy," Matt said as he poured milk into a glass. "We've all had moments like this. Trust me, it's much better if you just told me what happened. So, let's have at it."

"Have you ever had that feeling where you just feel hot and burning hatred against someone or something?" Japheth asked.

"Yes, of course," Matt replied. "Although you have to watch out for which people or things you get those kinds of hot and burning feelings, of course."

"All right, boys, what are we talking about now?" Ruslana "Smiley" Koppelberg asked as she took her place in the dining table.

"Hot and burning feelings," Matt replied. "Quite probably boy stuff. Not really your kind of stuff, Smiles. Continue," he said to Japhy.

"What boy stuff are you talking about, Matt?" Japheth asked. "I'm talking about San Llera!"

"Oh, of course! San Llera!" Matt exclaimed, theatrically throwing his arms up in the air. "What's it with San Llera that makes you hate them so much?"

"Why can't they just lose to us more than once in a while, Matt?" Japheth nearly shouted. "I mean, they're a good team, I'll give them that, but why are they like the only team out there other than Gregoryisgodistan that gets to beat us more than once? And I refuse to accept the result against Southern Democratic States because that was obviously a fluke!"

"Ah, yes, the burning hatred of the Fleftic people on the unfortunately named San Llera San Llerans," Matt muttered, staring up at the ceiling and imagining that it was the bright blue sky. "All right, Japhy, let me ask you one question. Did you watch the game last night?"

"Yes, of course," Japhy replied. "And with my friends too."

"Well, Japhy, I think it's time I let you in on a little family secret."

"Oh my God," Japheth muttered, laying his forehead in his hand and leaning on the table. "What is it this time?"

"You see, Japheth, ever since the dawn of time the Koppelberg family has been blessed with a curse."

"Blessed with a curse? What the heck are you on about, Matt?"

"Let me finish, all right? This curse on the Koppelberg line was cast on us by a clever and dastardly witch after someone told that our family had wronged her--"

"AKA one of your brother's numerous weird girlfriends over the years," Smiley interrupted. "It was probably the one that worshiped that weird religion, Wicca or Santeria or whatever the hell they call it now."

"Anyway, as I was saying," Matt continued, "this curse now means that whenever a member of the Koppelberg family watches a game by the Abanhfleft Revolution, they are doomed to drop that game by any means necessary, even if they've been completely dominant throughout and there's literally no chance for their opponent to get back. The curse multiplies itself threefold whenever a Koppelberg watches Abanhfleft vs San Llera live."

"You know what, Matt?" Japheth said after a few moments. "Even though everything you said was complete bullshit, it still makes a lot of sense. I mean, how can you explain going into extra innings and then scoring six straight runs, huh? I mean, I don't know a lot about baseball but I'm sure that kind of thing isn't even supposed to be possible! Am I right or am I right?"

"I am not going to comment on that," Smiley said. "All right, boys, enough talking. Japhy, go eat your bacon 'cause I'm taking you to the university later. It's on the way to my next appointment."

"Oh, come on, Smiley!" Japheth protested. "Why do I have to go with you today? You let me go on my own just yesterday!"

"That's because I didn't have anything to do yesterday!" Smiley replied. "But now I've got a meeting I have to attend because it's one of my biggest clients, and I'm set to get a big cut from her if I close this new deal. And as for you," she said as she turned her attention to Matt, "get yourself into some proper clothes before someone comes in here and sees me with a big male wearing only boxer shorts!"

"Says the woman wearing a wife beater and granny panties," Matt retorted, referring to Smiley's clothes at the time.

"What? They're comfortable night clothes!" Smiley said in her defense as she stood up.

"And are you wearing leather boots?" Matt asked, looking down at Smiley's feet.

"I couldn't find my slippers, and I wasn't in the mood to go barefoot so I got the first pair of footwear I could get!" Smiley then left the dining room with a huff. Matt then heard someone knocking on the kitchen's back door. He stood up, walked to the door and saw a familiar face on the other side. Matt sighed, unlocked the door and opened it.

"Matt!" Clement DeVille said as he entered the house. "Thank God you're here. We really need to talk about something that's come up in the past few days."

"All right then," Matt muttered. "Take a seat."

"Thanks." DeVille sat down on Smiley's seat and then took the jug of milk on the table and drank straight from it. "Ah, that's good milk," he muttered as he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his suit. "All right, Matt, let's get something cleared up. The local RBI office was swamped with calls two nights ago reporting that they had seen a man matching your description tied up to a streetlamp with a cardboard sign saying, and I quote, 'I AM MATTHEW KOPPELBERG; ARREST ME!' Were you ever tied up to a streetlamp with such a sign, Matt?"

"Surely if that was really me that was tied up then you or someone from your bureau would've picked me up instantly as soon as you heard those sightings!" Matt replied.

"See, that's the thing, Mattie," DeVille said. "When the Bureau came to the spot where they said quote-unquote you were tied, they didn't find anything except some duct tape. What could have possibly happened back there?"

"I don't know, Clem," Matt replied. "Maybe someone who's got something to benefit from his continued escape from the clutches of the RBI freed him." It surely wasn't the best time to mention that his sister, his brother and Smiley's famous friends and her bookie all helped together to tie him up to that lamppost for a bit of fun and then Smiley finally decided to bring him down before any real authorities showed up to pick him up.

"Man, that Matthew Koppelberg's a real slimy bastard, isn't he?" DeVille said. "Probably got the rat instincts of a career criminal and womanizer as well."

"Wouldn't you know it," Matt replied.

"Hey, Matt, who's your pal?" Japheth asked as he picked up a strip of bacon with his hands, raised it over his head and dropped it down to his mouth.

"Japheth James Methuselah Koppelberg, Claus Clement Thomas DeVille," Matt said. "Claus Clement Thomas DeVille, Japheth James Methuselah Koppelberg."

"DeVille?" Japheth repeated. "Do you have a nephew named Carlos DeVille?"

"Yes, of course," DeVille replied. "I've been his guardian ever since his mother--my sister--got twenty to life for smuggling in illegal animal furs, that kind of stuff. Black market things. I knew about her case but they didn't put me on it because my personal relations could 'cloud my judgment,' that kind of stuff. And so here we are now."

"Hey, Clement, since your Carlos's uncle and everything, would you mind if you brought me to the university with you? My sister's supposed to take me there, but I really don't want to be with Smiley right now, if you know what I mean?"

"Well, my car's on the next block, so if you don't mind doing some walking, sure," DeVille replied. "But you don't look like you're dressed for university yet," he said, referring to Japheth's own sleeveless shirt.

"Oh, don't worry about this, sir," Japheth replied. "I'm just not yet finished dressing."

"Uh, Japhy, go wash your hands before you get your uniform!" Matt said just as Japheth licked the oil from his fingers, took his uniform shirt and put it on over his sleeveless shirt. "Smiley doesn't like it when you get stains on your uniform," he added in a lower tone.

"Don't worry about me, Matt," Japheth replied. "The ladies like men in stained uniforms."

"Are we even on the same page now, man?" Matt asked.

"Look, Matt, I don't mind bringing Japhy to uni with me," DeVille said. "I haven't even picked up Carlos yet, but he's on the way, so it's an easy errand."

"All right," Japheth said. "Hey, Smiley!" he called out. "I'm going to uni with Matt's friend!"

"You know, whenever I hear someone call you my friend, I can't help but imagine the two of us in a homosexual relationship," Matt observed.

"Why? What's wrong with a homosexual relationship?" DeVille asked testily.

"Nothing, just saying that whenever someone says 'Matt's friend' while referring to you makes it sound like we're partners. Don't worry about it, Tom Cruise; your secret's safe with me."

"Ah, shut up," DeVille said as he stood up to follow Japheth out of the kitchen's back door.

[South Yerfilag]

covering the 10th International Baseball Slam

---

WILL PERRY: Aitken winds up, on the 1-2 count...

(MICHAELA AITKEN, the [RSY] Eagles' closer, fires a nice changeup. It finds its way to the catcher's mitt.)

JESSAMINE LASTINGS: STRUCK HIM OUT! The South Yerfilag Eagles pile onto Aitken! They're back in the chase and they know it!

(Switch to the spider cam at Woodman Park, where twenty-three South Yerfilagi, all clad in green, are situated in a celebratory pig pile on the pitchers' mound.)

PERRY: (after a few seconds) You'd think this team won the World Baseball Classic or even the Copa Rushmori finals, the way they're celebrating out there.

LASTINGS: Yeah. Especially since they just beat the team at the bottom of the points table.

PERRY: Yeah. Acronius' manager is just standing there with mouth open, just trying to make sense of what is happening. This isn't even a qualifying game, mind you, and the Eagles... wow. I haven't seen a celebration like this since the Two Cincys forced the Communists of Scantor III from power. ((OOC: This is part of South Yerfilag's history.))

LASTINGS: Absolutely. It's complete pandemonium out there...

(The Group Stage table appears for Group H.)

Group H                            Pld W-L RF-RA RD Pts
1 Nassau Eagles                      9 6-3 34-31 +03 18
2 South Yerfilag Eagles              9 5-4 27-21 +06 15
3 Potataca Potatos                   9 5-4 42-37 +05 15
4 Acronius Foxhounds                 9 2-7 24-38 −14 06

PERRY: Well, it is truly a miracle of a sort, as the (RSY) Eagles are back in the Blue Zone as of tonight's match. Now both Eagles teams will have to, ahem, hit it off, for a shot at first place in the group. Don't, however, count Potataca out just yet. They're hanging on by run difference, and the next set of matches will definitely give testimony to how committed the Potatoes are to heading up a good ballgame.

LASTINGS: For now, that's all the time we have for today! After a word from your local Vortcom stations, we'll head back to the studio with Jacinda van Heel and Bart Bigelow for the MParcel Postgame Show, right here on Vortcom Sport. Slaapwel ((OOC: "Good night")) everyone from Woodman Park.

OFF-SET ANNOUNCER: This edition of OnBase IBS is brought to you by NavTron, bringing you high-quality navigation and survey equipment since 2009.

[Frenline Delpha]

This is a special cut-off. Will you be knocked out of contention, or will your hopes grow stronger?

Group A
Schiltzberg Schiltz Burgers                 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  1
Stuzemstazem Green Bulls                    0 0 1 0 2 0 0 0 X  3

Nova Anglicana Lions                        0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 3  4
Boatia Llamas                               0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0  2

Group A                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Nova Anglicana Lions                        10    6   4    55   36  +19    18
2 Schiltzberg Schiltz Burgers                 10    5   5    43   41   +2    15
3 Stuzemstazem Green Bulls                    10    5   5    44   49   −5    15
4 Boatia Llamas                               10    4   6    43   59  −16    12

Group B
Torisakia Ice Birds                         0 11 0 0 1 1 2 0 0 15
Shadownia Fruitbat Mafia                    0  0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0  2

Coconut Isle Dwarfs                         0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 4  6
Pulunia Redwhite                            0 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 0  3

Group B                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Torisakia Ice Birds                         10    5   5    51   44   +7    15
2 Coconut Isle Dwarfs                         10    5   5    46   43   +3    15
3 Pulunia Redwhite                            10    5   5    41   39   +2    15
4 Shadownia Fruitbat Mafia                    10    5   5    42   54  −12    15

Group C
Silvacometopia Sharks                       0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 2  4
San Llera San Llerans                       0 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 3  5

Pinoyistan Destoroyers                      1 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 1  6
Abanhfleft Revolution                       0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1  1

Group C                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 San Llera San Llerans                       10    8   2    50   39  +11    24
2 Abanhfleft Revolution                       10    7   3    52   36  +16    21
3 Silvacometopia Sharks                       10    4   6    34   43   −9    12
4 Pinoyistan Destoroyers                      10    1   9    20   38  −18     3

Group D
Kaboomlandia Phoenix                        0 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 0  3
The Serbian Empire 66ers                    0 0 1 3 1 0 1 1 X  7

Camelone Ultras                             1 1 0 1 2 0 0 0 0  5
Ruairikstan Ruarbears                       0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0  2

Group D                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Kaboomlandia Phoenix                        10    7   3    54   37  +17    21
2 The Serbian Empire 66ers                    10    6   4    42   36   +6    18
3 Ruairikstan Ruarbears                       10    4   6    26   38  −12    12
4 Camelone Ultras                             10    3   7    32   43  −11     9

Clinched Play-off Advancement
Can Not Advance

[Schiltzberg]

Groups E-F Match Day 10

Group E
Frenline Delpha Anacondas          0 0 0 0 3 3 0 0 1  7
Ethane Red Stars                   0 0 1 0 0 0 0 3 0  4

Levivania Dohickeys                0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  1
Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves       2 0 3 0 2 0 0 0 X  7

Group E                             Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts E#
1 Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves       10 7 3 61 29 +32 21  --
2 Ethane Red Stars                   10 6 4 38 44  −6 18  --
3 Frenline Delpha Anacondas          10 4 6 42 52 −10 12   2
4 Levivania Dohickeys                10 3 7 37 53 −16  9   E

Group F
United States of Devonta Thundersticks  1 0 0 3 1 0 1 0 0  6
Elykyellek Stars                        1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  1

Koana Islands Warriors             0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  0
The Sword Bloke Thunder            1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 X  1

Group F                                  Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts E#
1 United States of Devonta Thundersticks  10 7 3 52 43  +9 21  --
2 The Sword Bloke Thunder                 10 5 5 42 39  +3 15  --
3 Koana Islands Warriors                  10 5 5 39 38  +1 15  --
4 Elykyellek Stars                        10 3 7 41 54 −13  9   1

Group G
Oisinistan Red Storm               0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 2  4
Avercari Cassowaries               1 3 1 0 0 1 0 0 X  6

Lisander Arminhos                  1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  1
Ferret Civilization Ferrets        1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 X  2

Group G                             Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts E#
1 Lisander Arminhos                  10 7 3 55 34 +21 21  --
2 Ferret Civilization Ferrets        10 5 5 44 56 −12 15  --
3 Oisinistan Red Storm               10 4 6 49 46  +3 12   2
4 Avercari Cassowaries               10 4 6 41 53 −12 12   2

Group H
Nassau Eagles                      0 0 0 1 0 0 0 2 0  3
Acronius Foxhounds                 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 2  4

South Yerfilag Eagles              1 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0  3
Potataca Potatos                   0 0 5 0 0 0 1 1 X  7

Group H                             Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts E#
1 Potataca Potatos                   10 6 4 49 40  +9 18  --
2 Nassau Eagles                      10 6 4 37 35  +2 18  --
3 South Yerfilag Eagles              10 5 5 30 28  +2 15   2
4 Acronius Foxhounds                 10 3 7 28 41 −13  9   E

[Ferret Civilization]

Seoc looked at his team again before the their final game against the Arminhos, "Well, this little game segment is almost over. We're up against our favorite team." He paused as everyone looked at each other with slight smiles, "And you all have done great so far, four wins. I don't need to tell you how great you all have been doing. Keep putting in the effort and maybe next time we'll be doing even better than ever." He looked at each of them before the game, "Go make all of us proud."

During the game Seoc watched as Haraldur was able to get off home plate right off the bat after the other team had gotten an early run. Then with the help of Cillín, Cathaoir, and Tavish he was able to a point himself, however even with the help of the entire team none of the others were able to get a run or point themselves. Then during the second inning they were able to get a second point, which amazed them all that they had gotten a lead on the Arminhos of all teams. "Focus on defense. You are doing super!" During the rest of the game none of them, no matter what or how hard they tried while focusing on not letting the other team score a point over them. That defense strategy worked way better than any of them expected. Seoc wasn't sure if it was just the other team letting them since it didn't matter anymore, if they were helping them train, or if something was affecting them.

When the game was over they all looked at each other, "Did we win?" Haraldur asked in shock, Seoc shook him a bit, "Yes! Yes you all did! Best job ever!" They all celebrated harder than they ever had before, for they had done something that they had thought to be impossible by now, even if they wouldn't win overall, they were all super happy.

[Abanhfleft]

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven

There's the Way, Where's the Will?, Part Eight

"Japhy!"

"Carlos!" Japheth called out as his friend Carlos DeVille got into his uncle Clement's car. Japheth had managed to hitch a ride with Clement after the RBI agent had visited their house to talk to his brother Matt. Japhy had known that Carlos had an uncle in the RBI, but he didn't know that it was actually the RBI agent that periodically visited Matt ever since he came back from having run away from their mother all those years ago. Japhy and Carlos made their secret handshake as Clement got his government-issued Ford Crown Victoria into gear and drove away from his nephew's house. "Now you boys go easy back there, will you?" he said. "This is still government property after all."

"So, Japh," Carlos, a teen Japheth's age with his hair dyed blonde and wearing a red jacket over his uniform, said, "how's your part of the report coming along?"

"Going well, I'd like to think," Japheth replied. "Although I have to say that I've only been able to come up with ten slides for the PowerPoint at most. I mean, I've never really been interested in the history of transcendentalist Fleftic literature, but the part you gave me just make me want to beat two bricks against my head until the brain juice comes out. I nearly fell asleep just reading about the life of Henry Subito on Wikipedia!"

"Speaking of Wikipedia, man, you know how much Mrs Rondon hates people sourcing from it," Carlos reminded Japheth.

"Don't worry about it, man," Japheth assured him. "Everyone knows WIkipedia's got references at the bottom of their articles. You don't have to worry about citations anymore."

"All right, boys, we're here," Clement called out as they arrived at the gates of Riuwiee State University. "Be careful out there!" he said as the two teens got out of his car. "Don't get into any fights and that kind of thing."

"Oh, come on, Uncle Clem," Carlos said. "We're seventeen, not seven."

"Still, I'm keeping my eyes on you! I'm RBI, it's in my job description."

"Ah, Uncle Clem," Carlos said as he and Japheth walked towards the university. "I like him, but sometimes he takes this guardianship thing a little bit too far."

"Well, can you blame him?" Japheth asked. "Your mom's in the slammer, and it's not a real good experience for anyone. I know. My mother's spent time behind bars as well."

"Does he really think I'm that impressionable?"

"Aren't you?"

"Dude. I'm not even gonna answer that."

"Well, at least there's the rest of the group," Japheth said, pointing at a small group of students just inside the university grounds. He and Carlos walked over to them, and Japheth asked them, "So, ladies and gentlemen, anyone planning on going to Mrs Rondon's class today?"

"I have to remind you, Japh," said Eva Muniesa, the girl with the blue hair and matching sweater vest, "that Mrs Rondon is already asking questions about your frequent absences in her class. But since our report's not until next week, and she's such a boring teacher... nah, no one's going to her class today."

"And you said I was the impressionable one," Carlos said to Japheth.

"Why am I always such a bad example to people?" Japheth asked himself rhetorically.

"Oh, don't worry about us, Japh," Evie said. "All you need to do to get a good grade in Rondon's class is to be good at analyzing a poem, and it's a straight A-plus."

"Well, that explains it," Japheth said. "I was never really good at analysis anyway."

"Hey, is that Rory Edwards?" Benedictine M. Maldonado, known affectionately as "Mal" by her friends and family, asked. She pointed a purple manicured finger at a figure dressed in black a ways away from them.

"No way, Mal," Carlos said. "Rory's on loan at Haranguer. There's no way he should be here in Riuwiee right now."

"But it's Riuwiee United against Haranguer in the SFA Cup," Evie shot back. "That's a good reason for him to be here."

"But he's cup-tied," Carlos shot back. "Can't play against United 'cause they're his parent club. So why's he here in the first place once again?"

"Japhy!" the figure in black called out.

"Rory!" Japheth shouted back. The two walked over to each other and then they clapped hands and then performed a bit of a haka as part of their greeting. They then grabbed each other and caught themselves in a bear hug.

"Wait a minute, Japh," Evie said. "You know Rory Edwards?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Japheth asked in reply. "We were here in Riuwiee State at about the same time. Sure, I was just in high school and he was already a United college scholar, but I'll be damned if we weren't fast friends!"

"The man speaks the truth," Rory Edwards said, clapping Japheth's shoulder. "I remember saving you from getting hoisted up the flagpole all those years before. Man, I can't believe it's already been five years since that one event."

Before they knew it, the two girls in their little group, Evie and Mal, were already screaming their heads off at the sight of their favorite football player. "Oh my God!" they cried out as they ran their hands over Edwards. "It's a dream come true!" Mal exclaimed. "I can't believe I'm actually touching Rory Edwards!"

"Enjoy it while it lasts, ladies," Edwards said with a smile. "Thank God I managed to shake off my handlers."

"What are you doing here anyway, man?" Japheth asked. "I thought you were on loan to Haranguer. Unless they brought you back. Such a shame for Haranguer if that happened. They've got a really good game with you in CAM."

"Nah, they didn't call me back," Edwards replied. "I'm here because Haranguer are playing United in the SFA Cup."

"Aha!" Evie called out, pointing a finger at Carlos. "I was right!"

"But of course I can't play because I'm cup-tied, so I'm here soaking up the sights before we go back to the desert," Edwards said.

"Aha!" Carlos shot back. "I was right too!"

"All right, everybody calm down now," Japheth said. "Everyone wants a touch and glimpse of the great Rory Edwards."

"Uh-oh, looks like everyone's seen you," Carlos said to Edwards. "A lot of people are coming our way!"

"All right, everybody calm down!" Japheth shouted at the rapidly forming crowd around them. "Everyone can have a touch and a glimpse of the great Rory Edwards, but you have to wait in line!"

But it was no use. The group around them then turned into something akin to a mosh pit, and then suddenly a fight had broken out. Once the dust had cleared, at least ten students of Riuwiee State sported bruises and cuts, including Japheth Koppelberg and his friends.

[South Yerfilag]

covering the 10th International Baseball Slam

---

JESSAMINE LASTINGS: That's a very disappointing outing for our Eagles today.

WILL PERRY: Yes, absolutely. Their last match against Potataca has ended in a disaster for the Eagles, as they now could face elimination if they lose the next 2 matches.

LASTINGS: That's right, Will. Check out the Group H table, as Potataca has now --

(The Group H stage table begins to appear, but as soon as it materialises, all of South Yerfilag's TV screens go blank, and are followed by an EAS statement.)

EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM

» On 21/11/2015 15:25:42 POST - The Ministry of Defence of the Republic of South Yerfilag has issued a HIGH (Level 2) Security Alert for its citizens regarding the declaration of war of Damukuni President Tsukeru Hitori on the Republic of South Yerfilag. Please read, listen to, and follow your local stations or NTV for situation updates. The Ministry of Defence has not yet detected any imminent military threat to the Republic of South Yerfilag. The Ministry of Defence continues to monitor the situation, and emergency information will be provided using the EAS system. This concludes the National Information Statement. «

The South Yerfilag
Ministry of Defence
Issued a

NATIONAL INFORMATION
STATEMENT

((OOC: If you care to immerse yourself in the EAS experience, play this video, stop it at 0:21, read the message, and then play the rest of the video. ))

[Nova Anglicana]

Lions Faltering In Close Group A

Allen Talos, Londinium Courier

The Nova Anglicana Lions were 3-1 one-third of the way through the IBS X group stage and looking strong. However, since then, they have only managed a 3-3 record against underwhelming opposition and hold a slim one-game lead for first place in Group A. "There's no question we aren't playing up to our potential," said third baseman and designated hitter Khris Caldwell. "The IBS is a great tournament and one we really want to win, so it's frustrating when we're so inconsistent." Caldwell himself is hitting only .256 and has made a couple of errors in the field, including a throwing error that allowed two runs to score for the Stuzemstazem Green Bulls and put them up 4-1 in a game that the Green Bulls eventually won 5-3. Few players have not been riding the "struggle bus," as they say. Nate Freeman has a 4.85 ERA in two starts and Jamey Conroy blew a save by allowing two runs in the 9th to Schiltzberg, among other players who have had difficulties.

And yet despite all their problems, no team in the group has been able to take advantage. The Lions stand at 6-4, which is good enough for first place in the group, ahead of Schiltzberg and Stuzemstazem at 5-5 and Boatia at 4-6. Cole Mayberry allowed one run in seven innings in his most recent outing against Boatia, but it still looked like the Lions would lose when Adrian Romero allowed a run to give the Llamas a 2-1 lead. The Lions' offense had laid dormant for the entire game, but it finally woke up in the 9th. Harold Henry came in to the 9th inning having allowed just four hits and one walk with six strikeouts, but soon imploded. Khris Caldwell struck out, but Tony Barnes doubled and Josh Jennings singled to put runners on the corners with one out. Barry Glover drew a walk to load the bases, and the unnamed Boatia manager came out to talk to his pitcher. This is the point in the game when one would expect a relief pitcher to be brought in, but with three pitchers playing positions and only one reliever who was exhausted after nine games as the only man in the bullpen, none was forthcoming. Henry bore down and struck out Lamar Ford, but Brooks Colvin crushed a cement-mixer slider to left-center field for a bases-clearing double. Just like that, the Lions led 4-2 and Jamey Conroy closed the game out to give the Lions their sixth win.

There are two games left in the IBS group stage, and no team from Group A has clinched or been eliminated yet, so it will all come down to the Lions' matchups against Schiltzberg and Stuzemstazem. A win over Schiltzberg probably wouldn't clinch the group, but it would put them in a good position going into their final game, so let's hope that Chris Keyes can act like an ace and lead his team to victory.

[Kaboomlandia]

Phoenix falter, but still clinch playoff berth

Not the way the Kaboomlandians wanted to lock up their second straight playoff berth, but it will do. A 7-3 loss to the Serbian Empire was crushing, but luckily for the Phoenix, a 5-2 loss by Ruairikstan to Camelone locked up the first berth in Group D. Considering how many people were projecting the Phoenix to romp through the group, with even kbmsports.com predicting the Phoenix to go 12-0, being 7-3 at this point in time is a bit shocking. The team can now clinch the first seed in the group in one of two ways: either if the Phoenix defeat last-place Camelone, or if Ruairikstan defeats the Serbian Empire. Today is an off day, but the Phoenix are also chasing the top seed overall. They are currently three points back of San Llera, and tied with Abanhfleft, Lisander, the United States of Devonta, and Gregoryisgodistan for second place in the entire tournament. But first, the Phoenix need to deal with Camelone. It should hopefully be an easy game, but we've been down that road before and it didn't end well.

[Ethane]

Group E                             Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts E#
1 Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves       10 7 3 61 29 +32 21  --
2 Ethane Red Stars                   10 6 4 38 44  −6 18  --
3 Frenline Delpha Anacondas          10 4 6 42 52 −10 12   2
4 Levivania Dohickeys                10 3 7 37 53 −16  9   E

The manager walked into the changing rooms with this in hand, printed on a large A3 sheet, for the whole team to see.

''You know what this means guys? This means that we are almost there. Almost out of the group stages. All we have to do is focus, and win. You can do this, don't let the pressure get you down. Don't rely on other teams losing to get you through. You need to fight. You need to do this. You are almost there. Just 1 win, and you can do it. You know you can guys, you have it in you. It is not over, but you would have to mess up real bad to not progress through now. Snap out of this run of losses, and prove to the world that you deserve to be here, that this team, created only 2 weeks before this tournament, is almost as good as the worlds best. That this team can do great things. That this team is unstoppable. Don't stop. Make your nation proud of this moment. Be proud of how far you have come, but know that there is more and more challenges to come. You are going to have to fight. No team is going to let you have it easy. Every game is a fight, a battle for the best. That is what this tournament is. Use this tournament to popularise this sport. Inspire future generations to play this. Make them look up to you, as the team who did it. Show the world what Ethane is made of. Show them that we're not soft and easy, but that we will bring the fight to you, and we will strive to beat you at every corner. You can't beat us. We have strong resolve. Be prepared to gut each and every team you meet. Destroy them, for we are the best. Do it, go out there and beat them. Don't let these losses get you down, but let them lift you up. Learn from your mistakes, better your game, and advance into a world, where you know you can beat them. Other people may not think so, but I know you can, and you know you can. So do it, make me proud. Make yourselves proud. And make Ethane proud.''

[Frenline Delpha]

Day 11. Will anyone managed to survive, or will your hopes get scattered like ashes to the wind?

Group A
Nova Anglicana Lions                        0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2  2
Schiltzberg Schiltz Burgers                 0 0 3 0 2 0 0 3 X  8

Boatia Llamas                               1 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0  3
Stuzemstazem Green Bulls                    0 0 2 0 0 0 0 0 0  2

Group A                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Nova Anglicana Lions                        11    6   5    57   44  +13    18
2 Schiltzberg Schiltz Burgers                 11    6   5    51   43   +8    18
3 Stuzemstazem Green Bulls                    11    5   6    46   52   −6    15
4 Boatia Llamas                               11    5   6    46   61  −15    15

Group B
Coconut Isle Dwarfs                         0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0  2
Torisakia Ice Birds                         0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1  1

Pulunia Redwhite                            0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  0
Shadownia Fruitbat Mafia                    0 0 0 0 0 3 2 0 X  5

Group B                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Coconut Isle Dwarfs                         11    6   5    48   44   +4    18
2 Shadownia Fruitbat Mafia                    11    6   5    47   54   −7    18
3 Torisakia Ice Birds                         11    5   6    52   46   +6    15
4 Pulunia Redwhite                            11    5   6    41   44   −3    15

Group C
Pinoyistan Destoroyers                      0 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 1  4
Silvacometopia Sharks                       0 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 0  3

Abanhfleft Revolution                       0 1 0 2 0 0 0 0 1  4
San Llera San Llerans                       0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0  2

Group C                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Abanhfleft Revolution                       11    8   3    56   38  +18    24
2 San Llera San Llerans                       11    8   3    52   43   +9    24
3 Silvacometopia Sharks                       11    4   7    37   47  −10    12
4 Pinoyistan Destoroyers                      11    2   9    24   41  −17     6

Group D
Camelone Ultras                             0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0  1
Kaboomlandia Phoenix                        0 0 3 0 0 0 0 1 X  4

Ruairikstan Ruarbears                       0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1  3
The Serbian Empire 66ers                    0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0  2

Group D                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Kaboomlandia Phoenix                        11    8   3    58   38  +20    24
2 The Serbian Empire 66ers                    11    6   5    44   39   +5    18
3 Ruairikstan Ruarbears                       11    5   6    29   40  −11    15
4 Camelone Ultras                             11    3   8    33   47  −14     9

Clinched First in Group
Clinched Advancement
Can Not Advance

[The Central Shadow Nation]

"Feel alive,brothers!"The team chanted when Kat Waterboy raised his arms. With the beating of Redwhite Shadownia had advanced into 'second' place in the division. "Cheers!"The team grabbed their glasses of alcohol and tea and clanged them together. "We did it!"A man shouted!"

Timothy Rahat let out a sigh of relief. He looked over the recording of the game.

The lineup was different. Eli Williams was in seventh. Most questioned the manager's lineup change.

Franz Barns was golden through the game, shutting out the other team until the end of the eighth inning. Kat Waterboy came in and struck out two in a row before making a silver glove play.

He flipped the grounder off the ground and chucked it into Lisano's glove.

Back in the bottom of the 6th David Yommoro led off with a walk. Carmen Lisano walked in and was tied up in a 0-2 count before he jocked a triple into right field. It went into the foul line as the right fielder bopped it in an attempt to field the grounded ball. But it hit the wall and Carmen Lisano slid into third. The pitchers changed and the relief man struck out two before Robert Orun hit a solo shot to center field. As the inning shifted into the seventh Franz got them out straight.

To start the bottom of the 7th Eli Williams hit a solo shot deep. Josiah Quant walked, D-yomm struck out, Lisano hit a single and there were runners on 1st and 2nd. Colin Borko struck out. Doug Gorango hit a double and managed to get only one home before the man on first was caught out at home.

[Abanhfleft]

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight

There's the Way, Where's the Will?, Part Nine

"All right, Japhy, what happened?"

"It's kind of hard to explain, Smiley," Japheth Koppelberg told his sister as they talked through Japheth's cellphone. It was just a few hours after a fight had broken out among students of Riuwiee State University who had tried to get a glimpse of Rory Edwards, an alumnus of Riuwiee State and generally considered as one of Abanhfleft's hottest young football players.

"Then explain it to me, Japh," Smiley Koppelberg said from her end after letting out an exasperated sigh.

"All right, I'll try," Japheth said after a sigh of his own. "You remember Rory Edwards?"

"Of course I do," Smiley replied. "Who doesn't remember Rory Edwards?"

"Well, he arrived here at uni today because of the SFA Cup game between United and Haranguer, and Evie and Mal and Carlos and Jay were all over him, and then everyone else wanted a piece of him, and I may have given someone the finger, and then it was all punches and slaps and fighting after that. Next thing I know, Mr Michelin's pulling us all apart, and now we're in purgatorial limbo until our parents and-or guardians have a chat with him." Mr Michelin was what the students of Riuwiee State called Mitchell Davidson, their dean, who had a waistline reminiscent of the Michelin Man.

"All right, I did not understand a single thing that you just said," Smiley said.

"Smiley!"

"I was just joking, Japhy! But you can't expect me to go down there and talk to Michelin for you! I'm in the middle of getting a very big break for one of my clients, and I'll be damned if I don't get my ten percent cut of her one hundred million NS dollars!"

"NS dollars? Really? Not penenks? Real, legit greenbacks?"

"Yeah, real legit greenback NS dollars! Now go get your brother to talk to Michelin before you lose your cut of my ten percent!"

"What's that I hear about real legit greenbacks, Japh?" Carlos DeVille asked from the bench across the hallway from Japheth. The benches were near the office of the dean, and this was where the students involved in the fight had been sent after the dean had sorted out the guilty parties from the innocent bystanders. At least a dozen other students were seated at various points in the benches, and they all sported injuries and bruises on various parts of their bodies. Carlos was holding up a cold pack over the right side of his face, where he had sustained a black eye in the fighting.

"None of your business, Carlos," Japheth replied. He had a gauze bandage on his cheek, where the skin had broken open after he was hit with a straight fist. He then turned back to his cellphone and tried to call Matt, but then he heard a digitized female voice say, "Your call credits have expired. Please reload to call and text your friends again."

"Just my luck," Japheth muttered. "No load right when I need one." His eyes traveled down the corridor before settling on a payphone that had once been painted a bright silver but had been dulled by time and wear and tear into a rusty gray. "Carlos, d'you have some penenk coins, or even smacars?" Smacars were a further denomination of the penenk.

"Oh, go eff yourself, Japh," Carlos muttered, but he still reached into his pockets with his free hand and came up with three one-penenk coins. "You owe me."

"I'll pay it later," Japheth said as he stood up and walked towards the payphone. He deposited a single penenk coin into the slot and then dallied for a moment as he struggled to remember the house's telephone number. Constant use of cellphones had caused him to nearly forget the seven numbers that would connect him to the house. Finally he recalled the seven numbers from a dusty corner of the back of his mind and punched it into the payphone. As the line rang, Japheth hoped that he had remembered the number correctly, or else he would've wasted a penenk.

"Koppelberg residence," a male voice replied from the other end of the line as it was picked up.

"Matt, it's me, Japheth. I need your help."

"All right, little man. What is it you got yourself into this time?" Matt Koppelberg asked. Japheth told him about how he and his friends were discussing a group project when they saw Rory Edwards wandering around the campus, and how it eventually escalated into a fight that the dean himself had to break up. Once Japheth had finished his story, Matt said, "Nice story. You should submit it to a scriptwriter or a publisher; it will make a good movie or a good book."

"I'm not kidding, Matt!" Japheth replied. "I need a guardian here before the dean lets us go, and Smiley's too busy getting a cut to cut me loose over here. You wouldn't want your younger brother to suffer something tantamount to detention now, would you? Actually, don't answer that."

"All right, fine, I'll be there," Matt said. "Right after I finish serving my lady friend visitor."

"Great," Japheth muttered as Matt's voice was replaced by a dial tone. "It's gonna take me more than an hour before I can get out of Michelin's hellhole."

An hour and a half later, Matt Koppelberg finally arrived at the university. Having been a frequent visitor of the dean's office in his time with the university, he knew exactly where to go to look for Japheth.

"Hey there, little man!" he called out as he sat down beside Japheth, who was busy playing with his phone.

"You finally came," Japheth muttered.

"Actually, I came a few times before going here," Matt said, "but that's beside the point. I'm here, and that's what matters. Now, where's this Mr Michelin you speak of?"

"He's still in his office, chewing out the parents and guardians that went here early," Japheth replied.

"Carlos, what have you done again?" a familiar male voice called out from down the hallway. Matt and Japheth looked down the hall and saw Clement DeVille walking up towards them, or rather appeared to be walking towards them. Japheth knew that the RBI agent was actually headed for his nephew, while Matt was very much caught by surprise by the agent's appearance in the university.

"If your mother could see you right now, she'd give you a very stern word!" DeVille said to Carlos. He then happened to look at Japheth and then at Matt, and then he asked him, "Have we met before?"

"I don't think so," Matt replied. "I have a face that looks like a lot of other faces."

"Still, I can't help but get the feeling I've seen you somewhere. What's your name?"

"Oh, uh, Seamus Koppelberg," Matt replied, extending his hand. "I'm Japheth's, er, uncle."

"Clement DeVille," DeVille said, shaking Matt's hand. "This is my nephew Carlos."

"Matt, why are you pretending that you don't know Clem?" Japheth asked him.

"We're not supposed to know each other, Japhy," Matt said in a low whisper. "It would be wise for you to remember that."

"Oh, yeah, right," Japheth said. "You're hiding from the RBI because of your shady business dealings--hmph!" Matt suddenly clapped a hand over Japheth's mouth to keep him from talking and saying more that could compromise Matt and Clem's "working relationship."

"All right, who's next!?" Mitchell Davidson, Dean of the College of Arts and Letters of Riuwiee State University, bellowed as he heaved himself through his office door after dismissing the first group of students reprimanded for what the rest of the uni was now calling "the Rory Edwards brawl." He looked around the hallway and his eyes landed on Japheth. "Of course," he muttered before saying in a louder voice, "Come on in." Matt, Japheth, Carlos and DeVille got the signal and shuffled obediently into his office.

"I really must have to ask for dispensation for my nephew Carlos," Clement DeVille said as they took their seats in front of the Dean's desk. "He's going through a bit of a rough patch since his mother was arrested and jailed--"

"I don't give a damn about what my students are going through emotionally," Davidson said. "That is still no reason for him to be involved in fights! If he really wanted, he could apply his emotions into something more productive like, for example, his creative writing lessons! And as for you, Koppelberg," he continued, pointing at both Japheth and Matt, "you've got quite the rap sheet going against you!"

"Oh, no, here he goes again," Japheth muttered, cupping his forehead in his hand.

"Why? What's he talking about?" Matt asked his younger brother.

"Let me explain it to you, sir, in clear terms you'll understand," Davidson said to Matt. "This student here, your charge, has been regularly not attending classes for the past school term. I'm sure he hasn't mentioned that particular detail of his school life to you, sir."

"What!?" Matt asked. "Is that true, Japheth?"

"I haven't told you, Uncle Seamus," Japheth replied, "but Smiley knows about this already. Trust me, she knows."

"Does she now?" Matt asked with a bit of rhetoric coming through his voice.

"You're very much lucky that your academic record hasn't suffered from his constant absences," Davidson said to Japheth as he continued his dressing down-slash-rant. "Meanwhile, you, DeVille, you really need to get your head screwed on right, or else you'll be in much worse things than what happened right now. This incident goes into your records, boys. I hope you will realize that this will have to be your last. The university doesn't like to let go of students with the kind of academic results that you produce."

"Well, that was a weird talking-to if I ever saw one," Matt said as he and Japheth talked over dinner. "And did you really flip the bird on somebody?"

"I think it was pure reflex, Matt," Japheth replied. "I saw a guy that I hated in the crowd and I couldn't help but give him the good news. Somebody else saw it, thought I was flipping him off, and got me right here." He pointed at the bandage on his cheek.

"Well, that's not right. You should learn to be more subtle with your middle finger. Now I know that what you just went through isn't exactly the right situation to use them, but you need some subtlety with your middle finger game."

"Oh, I know a subtle flip-off already," Japheth said. "It's as simple as scratching your nose or brow with your middle finger." He then proceeded to demonstrate the technique.

"That's good!" Matt said. "And for those special occasions where you want the recipient to understand the full gravity of the situation, that's when the slow crank is best and most effective. You just make a fist and begin twisting beside your flipping hand as you steadily raise your middle finger..."

"Matt!" Smiley cried out as she came in to the house. "What are you and Japhy talking about now?"

"It's grand and bold but not very subtle," Matt told Japheth.

"Are you teaching your little brother to flip off people?" Smiley asked.

"It popped up in the dinner conversation."

"If you want a quicker way to flip the bird, just blow on your thumb like it's a balloon and let the finger rise," Smiley said, demonstrating her own technique as she sat down with Matt and Japheth for dinner.

"I love my family," Japheth said before shaking his head and eating his dinner.

[Schiltzberg]

Groups E-H Match Day 11

(OOC: Sorry for late posting of Groups F-H)

Group E
Levivania Dohickeys                0 1 2 0 0 0 0 0 1  4
Frenline Delpha Anacondas          0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1  2

Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves       0 2 1 0 1 0 0 1 1  6
Ethane Red Stars                   0 0 0 0 1 3 0 0 0  4

Group E                             Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves       11 8 3 67 33 +34 24
2 Ethane Red Stars                   11 6 5 42 50  −8 18
3 Frenline Delpha Anacondas          11 4 7 44 56 −12 12
4 Levivania Dohickeys                11 4 7 41 55 −14 12

Group F
Koana Islands Warriors                  1 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0  3
United States of Devonta Thundersticks  1 3 2 0 0 0 0 0 X  6

The Sword Bloke Thunder            0 2 1 0 2 0 1 3 1  10
Elykyellek Stars                   1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  1

Group F                                  Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 United States of Devonta Thundersticks  11 8 3 58 46 +12 24
2 The Sword Bloke Thunder                 11 6 5 52 40 +12 18
3 Koana Islands Warriors                  11 5 6 42 44  −2 15
4 Elykyellek Stars                        11 3 8 42 64 −22  9

Group G
Lisander Arminhos                  0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0  1
Oisinistan Red Storm               2 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 X  4

Ferret Civilization Ferrets        0 0 3 0 0 1 1 2 0  7
Avercari Cassowaries               0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 3  4

Group G                             Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 Lisander Arminhos                  11 7 4 56 38 +18 21
2 Ferret Civilization Ferrets        11 6 5 51 60  −9 18
3 Oisinistan Red Storm               11 5 6 53 47  +6 15
4 Avercari Cassowaries               11 4 7 45 60 −15 12

Group H
South Yerfilag Eagles              0 0 2 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0  5
Nassau Eagles                      0 0 1 2 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 3  8

Potataca Potatos                   0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  0
Acronius Foxhounds                 4 1 0 0 0 1 1 4 X  11

Group H                             Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 Nassau Eagles                      11 7 4 45 40  +5 21
2 Potataca Potatos                   11 6 5 49 51  −2 18
3 South Yerfilag Eagles              11 5 6 35 36  −1 15
4 Acronius Foxhounds                 11 4 7 39 41  −2 12

[Kaboomlandia]

Phoenix beat Camelone, are first team in Schiltzberg to clinch group

It wasn't pretty, but the Kaboomlandia Phoenix have locked up first place in Group D after a 4-1 win over last-place Camelone. The Phoenix led from wire to wire, playing the game that many observers knew they were capable of winning. Despite some bumps in the road, including two losses to unranked Ruairikstan and a 7-3 loss to the Serbian Empire on Friday night, the Phoenix still got it done and went 8 and 3 to clinch Group D. Next up is another game against Ruairikstan, but the Phoenix look like they will be playing the San Llera San Llerans, a tough opponent who the Phoenix swept out of the group stage last year.

[Schiltzberg]

Player Profile: William McKey
Position: Right-handed starting pitcher
Height: 5'11''
Weight: 201 lbs.

Pitching statistics for NBLS in last regular season:
Games started: 36
Wins: 24
Losses: 5
Strikeouts: 144
Walks: 101
ERA: 2.14
Awards: Most Valuable Pitcher Award, Postseason MVP, Season Series MVP

Born in Riggs, Schiltzberg, which is just outside of Chesterton, William McKey was an MVP from the start. As a kid he played baseball, but initially did not like it, because he was not a good hitter and always struck out. He says that his friends at school would tease him about how bad he was at swinging the bat, and that aggravated him so much that it led him to quit his baseball team when he was twelve years old.

McKey's father, Joe McKey, was very intrigued by William's quitting the team, and asked him about it, and apparently got him to rejoin a baseball team, albeit a different one. William was never good at hitting, but he picked up a new interest -- pitching. At first he was not very good at that either, not bad, just not very good, but after a few years of working at it, McKey learned how to get good command of his pitches, and developed a good break on his curveball and slider.

In 2002, McKey was drafted by the Hamilton Hawks, spent one year in the minors, and quickly worked his way up to the professional level. He startled many by his sudden outbreak in 2003, because he did not seem to have much good stuff, only an 89-mile per hour fastball, a decent slider, and a decent curveball, but his command was so good that he was almost unhittable. In 2003, McKey won 21 games, losing 8, with an ERA of 2.38, leading his team to a 109-win season and the pennant, and winning himself the Most Valuable Pitcher Award, and the Rookie of the Year Award.

McKey threw his first no-hitter on May 17, 2004, in a game against the Tushka Turtlenecks, and then threw his second on June 24, 2004, in a game against the Orthorlandville Workers. He is the first and only pitcher in the history of the NBLS to throw two no-hitters in the same season, and that is what earned him the Most Valuable Pitcher Award for the second year in a row, on top of a 18-9 record and a 2.40 ERA. That year, the Hawks won 111 games, yet were still unable to win the pennant, as they were outdone by the Rico Volcanoes, who went 122-58, which is surprisingly not even the best record for a team that season.

In 2005, McKey started out the regular season with a near-perfect game against the Selmont Seldoms, but a walk in the ninth inning limited it to only a no-hitter. It was his third no-hitter in as many seasons, and it was recorded on April 1, 2005. McKey went 23-7 that year, with a 2.31 ERA and a season high 201 strikeouts, once again winning him the Most Valuable Pitcher Award. That year, the Hawks won 110 games, but, again, were outdone by the Rico Volcanoes, who won the division, and eventually the pennant, that year.

That year Schiltzberg participated in the World Baseball Classic for the first time (WBC 33) and McKey led the unlikely Schiltzbergian All-Star team on an amazing outbreak, and had many incredible outings, including a no-hitter in the preliminary rounds against Borxinoia, which quickly shifted public attention to the underdog team. That year, Schiltzberg went on a run to remember, and ended up winning the World Baseball Classic in their first year participating, and were the first team to do that since the very first year of that tournament.

In 2006 (OOC: this is the IC year), McKey did not let up at all. The Professor had a personal best 24-5, and a personal best 2.14 ERA. He silenced all doubts that critics of the Hawks had about being a contender that year, and led the team to 96 wins, and picking up the division title for the first time since 2003. He gave up a loss in the Championship Series against the Chesterton Ground Hogs, which led to many doubts that he would do well enough to support his team in this postseason. The Hawks had their ace's back though, winning the series against the Ground Hogs, and advancing to the Season Series for the second time ever. McKey won Game One of the Season Series 3-2, which was still a close enough victory to keep critics raving. The team lost Game Two, then took Three and Four, and McKey was scheduled to pitch Game Five. McKey threw a perfect game. He struck out 11, which was his personal best for a playoff game, and gave up no hits, no walks, and no errors, making him the first to ever throw a perfect game in the Season Series, let alone win the Series with one. McKey unanimously won the Most Valuable Pitcher Award that year, which was the first time that he had ever won it unanimously, and he also won the Postseason MVP and the Season Series MVP.

[Frenline Delpha]

Your Final Group Cut-Off

Group A
Schiltzberg Schiltz Burgers                 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1  4
Boatia Llamas                               0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  0

Stuzemstazem Green Bulls                    0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1  1
Nova Anglicana Lions                        0 1 2 0 2 1 5 0 X 11

Group A                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Nova Anglicana Lions                        12    7   5    68   45  +23    21
2 Schiltzberg Schiltz Burgers                 12    7   5    55   43  +12    21
3 Stuzemstazem Green Bulls                    12    5   7    47   63  −16    15
4 Boatia Llamas                               12    5   7    46   65  −19    15

Group B
Torisakia Ice Birds                         0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0  1
Pulunia Redwhite                            1 0 0 2 0 0 0 2 X  5

Shadownia Fruitbat Mafia                    0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0  1
Coconut Isle Dwarfs                         1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 X  3

Group B                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Coconut Isle Dwarfs                         12    7   5    51   45   +6    21
2 Pulunia Redwhite                            12    6   6    46   45   +1    18
3 Shadownia Fruitbat Mafia                    12    6   6    48   57   −9    18
4 Torisakia Ice Birds                         12    5   7    53   51   +2    15

Group C
Silvacometopia Sharks                       1 3 0 2 0 0 3 0 0  9
Abanhfleft Revolution                       0 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 0  2

San Llera San Llerans                       0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  0
Pinoyistan Destoroyers                      0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 X  1

Group C                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Abanhfleft Revolution                       12    8   4    58   47  +11    24
2 San Llera San Llerans                       12    8   4    52   44   +8    24
3 Silvacometopia Sharks                       12    5   7    46   49   −3    15
4 Pinoyistan Destoroyers                      12    3   9    25   41  −16     9

Group D
Kaboomlandia Phoenix                        4 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 4  9
Ruairikstan Ruarbears                       0 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1  4

The Serbian Empire 66ers                    0 0 0 0 0 2 0 1 0  3
Camelone Ultras                             0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0  1

Group D                                      Pld    W   L    RF   RA   RD   Pts 
1 Kaboomlandia Phoenix                        12    9   3    67   42  +25    27
2 The Serbian Empire 66ers                    12    7   5    47   40   +7    21
3 Ruairikstan Ruarbears                       12    5   7    33   49  −16    15
4 Camelone Ultras                             12    3   9    34   50  −16     9

Number One Seed
Clinched Number Two Seed
Requires Tie-Breaker Analysis

[Schiltzberg]

Groups E-H Match Day 12

Group E
Frenline Delpha Anacondas          0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1  1
Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves       0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1  2

Ethane Red Stars                   0 0 2 0 0 0 1 2 0  5
Levivania Dohickeys                0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 1  3

Group E                             Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves       12 9 3 69 34 +35 27
2 Ethane Red Stars                   12 7 5 47 53  −6 21
3 Frenline Delpha Anacondas          12 4 8 45 58 −13 12
4 Levivania Dohickeys                12 4 8 44 60 −16 12

Group F
United States of Devonta Thundersticks  0 0 2 0 0 0 1 0 1  4
The Sword Bloke Thunder                 1 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0  3

Elykyellek Stars                   0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0  2
Koana Islands Warriors             0 2 1 0 0 0 0 0 X  3

Group F                                  Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 United States of Devonta Thundersticks  12 9 3 62 49 +13 27
2 The Sword Bloke Thunder                 12 6 6 55 44 +11 18
3 Koana Islands Warriors                  12 6 6 45 46  −1 18
4 Elykyellek Stars                        12 3 9 44 67 −23  9

The Sword Bloke advanced, rather than Koana Islands.  The Sword Bloke won in head-to-head match-ups, with a record of 3-1.

Group G
Oisinistan Red Storm               0 1 1 1 1 0 0 0 0  4
Ferret Civilization Ferrets        1 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0  3

Avercari Cassowaries               0 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 3
Lisander Arminhos                  0 2 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 4

Group G                             Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 Lisander Arminhos                  12 8 4 60 41 +19 24
2 Oisinistan Red Storm               12 6 6 57 50  +7 18
3 Ferret Civilization Ferrets        12 6 6 54 64 −10 18
4 Avercari Cassowaries               12 4 8 48 64 −16 12

Oisinistan advanced, rather than Ferret Civilization.  They tied in head-to-head record, but Oisinistan outscored Ferret Civilization head-to-head 21-19.

Group H
Nassau Eagles                      0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0  2
Potataca Potatos                   0 2 0 0 3 0 1 0 X  6

Acronius Foxhounds                 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  1
South Yerfilag Eagles              3 0 0 1 1 0 0 2 X  7

Group H                             Pld W L RF RA  RD Pts 
1 Potataca Potatos                   12 7 5 55 53  +2 21
2 Nassau Eagles                      12 7 5 47 46  +1 21
3 South Yerfilag Eagles              12 6 6 42 37  +5 18
4 Acronius Foxhounds                 12 4 8 40 48  −8 12

Potataca got the number one seed, rather than Nassau.  They tied in head-to-head record, but Potataca outscored Nassau head-to-head 23-19.

Green = Clinched first spot in division.
Orange = Clinched second spot in division.
Red = Eliminated.