WC72 RP Thread

[Eura]

- EBC NEWS MOBILE APP
- MAIN HEADLINES

WORLD / ESPORTIVA / FOREIGN AFFAIRS – Nuclear weapons used in South Esportivan War
Geraint Bowles

San Jose Guayabal and Gregoryisgodistan have both used limited nuclear strikes against each other as the South Esportivan War reaches new heights. The Guayabalese fired first in their defensive war against the evil Gregoryisigodistani regime, using their weapons to disable electronics throughout the mainland of the Gregist regime. In response, the Gregist forces used their limited arsenal of Quebecois nuclear missiles to strike back, causing massive damage to a handful of Guayabalese cities and towns. Prime Minister Michael Judge has condemned the escalation in the violence, but made particular note of criticising the “barbaric” willingness of Gregoryisgodistan to “slaughter countless innocent civilians.” Meanwhile, the Ministry of Defence has issued a report on the conflict. Its experts advise that though this conflict will be bloody, it is unlikely to last long unless additional powers become involved as in its current situation, the “backward” Gregist government and military structure will crumble.

EURA / POLITICS – Capital Party comes out in support of annexationism
Mary Grayston

In a surprise move that has confounded political analysts and commentators, the Capital Party – Eura’s second largest opposition party which led a coalition not so long ago – has announced its support for the niche political concept of annexationism. This concept entails a belief that Eura either has some or complete justification in claiming sections of neighbouring countries based on historical factors, most importantly including large chunks of northern Electrum. Party leader Patrick Martey, who only narrowly won the recent leadership election and is already doing poorly in the polls, announced the new policy yesterday evening in what some are perceiving as an opportunist reaction to the current crisis in Eura-Electrum relations. Dismissing this criticism at a press conference, Martey announced that while he was not “fully endorsing” Euran nationalists on both sides of the border, he believed that “their views deserved to be heard” because “for too long, no-one has taken them seriously.” The Social Party criticised the move, and the Liberal government have called it “a pathetic act of political desperation”.


RUSHMORE / FOREIGN AFFAIRS – Electrum goes to the polls as Eura and Valladares take stock
Lionel Gainsborough

The defiant Prime Minister of Electrum, Cynthia Suarez, came out with fighting words on a television debate in Centralis as her government fights for its political life over the ongoing Floriana Dam dispute. This minor political dispute escalated into a four way row in the space of a couple of weeks, with Electrum and Sargossa on one side and, in theory, Eura and Valladares on the other. With results expected by the morning, the Liberal government in Bastion will know more by then just what kind of Electrumite government they will be negotiating with. Whoever wins, Eura has left the door open to Electrum in its public statements for reconciliation, as long as they withdraw their attempt to commission a Sargossan airbase in their northwestern territory, an apparent attempt to intimidate Rio Oscuro. However it is understood from sources within parliament that the Euran government is quickly losing patience with Electrum while Valladares is already going ahead with the Rio Oscuro project. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has been quiet in the parliamentary district today, but rumours are continuing to circulate that Amy Yarley will issue an ultimatum to whichever person holds the seat of Prime Minister of Electrum tomorrow evening.

MORE TOP STORIES
- Steve Thompson's Eura frustrated again by Gylias in 2-2 draw
- Falourr Historic Dockyard project given final go ahead
- Air force crash near DMZ killed seven MoD announces
- Civil Federalist Party undergoing "thorough soul-searching process" says leader
- Unemployment down by 90,000 in east
- Rail strike in Directus sector set to cause "significant delays"

[Valanora]

I hope you have your caffeine ready.

Results

[Cosumar]

A GUIDE TO THE COSUMARITE SPACE COLONIES

The Cosumarite people have always had their eyes cast to the skies. Some of the oldest tales that have passed down through the generations relate to the infinite beyond and what it might hold. It was this wanderlust and thirst for knowledge that extended our civilization to the stars sooner than most. In this series, I will profile each of the major extraterrestrial celestial bodies with colonies that fall under the Cosumarite crown. Colloquially referred to as "The Colonies", these diverse and far-flung places are now a vital part of the Cosumarite culture and economy and are represented as equals to the home-world Fiefs at Congress in Ramusok.



#2 - FEVELO

Fevelo is a small rocky planet approximately 9 light years away in a star system called Alpha HM87 in the constellation of Eayn. It was the first planet Cosumarites set foot on outside of our own solar system or nearest two neighbor systems. It was at first designated solely for scientific research but was later colonized by renegade pioneers. Known for its jagged, inhospitable landscape, mountains and spires, Fevelo lies just within the outer boundary of the Alpha HM87's habitable zone.

History: Fevelo was discovered in Year 795 of the Cosumarite calendar by Lucien Fevelo. Working with the Carnaby SuperTelescope facility in the Atamac Desert, he had a hunch that there was a fourth planet orbiting Alpha HM87 (three having already been discovered) in the habitable zone and after six straight days and nights of searching with no sleep, he found it. According to legend, he recorded his findings with great enthusiasm then prompty fell into a deep sleep for the next three days. He denoted it as "Alpha HM87d" in his journal, but the name was later altered in his honor. This was at a time when Cosumarite technology was beginning to really advance rapidly, progressing from traditional rockets to near-lightspeed ships, and the search for Earthlike planets outside our solar system was really beginning to heat up. The colonization of right-next-door neighbor planet Nuur had gone well, but scientists were convinced that the next step for our civilization was to spread to other star sytems. Fevelo was one of the first extrasolar planets discovered within range of our transportation capabilities. So, in the Cosumarite spirit of discovery, we set out to investigate. After a decade, our probes finally reached Fevelo in 807. What they found was a planet only Earthlike in the loosest sense of the word. Rocky and approximately the same size, but one of the strangest planets discovered yet, for reasons detailed in the sections below. The most startling observation was that the surface of the planet changed color from night to day. Once we achieved rudimentary hyperspace transportation (889), scientists were able to reach the Alpha HM87 system in less than two weeks and poke around firsthand. The first research base was built underground in one of the planet's many cavernous cave systems in 892. Once hyperspace transportation became more widely available for private use, renegade pioneers started arriving on their own in the 910s and building communities out of the stations. For a couple decades, Fevelo was a fringe "Wild West" locale outside the reach of Cosumarite control. But by 930, the Fiefdom recognized the "research stations" as full-fledged colonial settlements and began to expand and improve the infastructure. By 950, hyperspace transportation had improved to the degree where a Cosumarite on Earth could reach Fevelo in a matter of hours rather than weeks and spaceports began service Fevelo.

Climate & Geology: The climate of Fevelo varies wildly with its orbit. It has a very high eccentricity, which means it is much farther from its sun at certain parts of its revolution than others. AKA, there is a big contrast between yearly seasons. However, one Fevelian year is approximately 320 Earth years. Therefore, a regular Fevelian season like "winter" or "summer" will last for approximately 80 years.....entire human generations. When Cosumarites first arrived on Fevelo a hundred years ago it was late autumn, but we have been in the thick of the Fevelian winter for several decades now. This is why all human cities on Fevelo are mostly underground, where geothermal activity insulates the cavernous dwellings from the cold outside. The lowest recorded temperature was -320F, but average surface temperature is around -40F. It is unknown how much this will change as Fevelo eventually moves into its "spring season" later in this century, but our scientists estimate that average temperature will jump to -10F by 1020 and as high as +50F by 1050. The warming of the climate will make Fevelo more attractive for settlement and tourism, though there are still huge obstacles in the way of supporting more colonization of the planet. That's where the geology section comes in.
Remember how we mentioned that the planet's color from space changes from brown to yellow/green at night? The same intense volcanic activity that warms our cave-based cities also releases an extraordinary amount of toxic sulfur dioxide onto the surface -- but only at night. No inch of the planet is safe from the "cosmic fart", as locals like to call it. The quantity of the gas is immeasurable, but it is enough to actually cloak the planet a sickly green for a few hours each night. Scientists have been puzzled by this phenomenon for years but continue to research it. No human is allowed on the surface after 8 p.m. local time because the poisonous fumes begin releasing between 9:30 and 10:30 and continue until between 1:30 and 2:30 a.m. Fevelo's howling winds have usually cleared it back to safe levels by 5:30, at which point the normal restricted travel to the surface is resumed for those who have obtained a permit. Symptoms of prolonged inhalation of such a high concentration of sulfur dioxide include nausea, birth defects and even death. Aside from the ubiquitous volcanic farts, Fevelo is a geologically magnificent planet. Its core is one of the hottest and most fiercely burning ever discovered, powering the massive tectonic/volcanic activity that has produced the towering mountains, spires and other remarkable landforms that Fevelo is famous for. The strong winds have also windswept the rocky surface, leaving not an inch of smooth ground anywhere. Precipitation is rare, so mountain chains do not erode as fast as they do on Earth, though massive glaciers and ice sheets have built up in certain areas over millions of years. These reservoirs of ice are melted by the colonial settlements and turned into safe drinking water, though H20 can now be imported as well. In Fevelo's "profile pic" to the right, you can see some of the mountain chains and glaciers from space.

Life: Life on Fevelo is sparse because of the brutal surface conditions. There is no known sentient life on the planet - we didn't find anything else smart enough to live in the underground caverns, at least. Various lichens and mosses can be found on some types of rock, feeding on the liquid water trapped inside from long ago. Microscopic forms of life are abundant near the volcanic vents due to their warmth. Some of these extremophiles can even use the sulfur dioxide as a source of energy, hibernating during the days and bursting into activity at night when the gas is spewed forth. We also know small rodent-like creatures of some sort come out at night to breath the sulfur fumes and eat lichen. Yet the most astonishing form of life on Fevelo, by far, is the Damnagora. These bizarre creatures are simply remarkable. They are carnivorous quadrupeds, similar to behavior to a lion or cheetah. Yet their rough, leathery skin is seemingly impervious to the wind and cold. They produce heat from within. When they open their fearsome mouths, you can visibly see an orange glow coming up from their throat. They can breath fire when needed, though this is rare. They can eat almost anything and melt it down with their literal "fire-bellies" into a source of energy. Rocks, lichens, humans, you name it. But they prefer flesh. The many wormy antennae on their head can smell food from miles away. Similar to the extremophiles, they lie dormant during the day but emerge in the dark of the night to breath the sulfur dioxide and prowl the surface of the planet amidst the ghastly green glow. Sometimes their snarls and cackles from above can be heard in Mungonduvia, the settlement closest to the surface. In the early days of human settlement on Fevelo, before people knew to stay underground at night, Damnagoras were known to chomp down on helpless, choking humans and bury the heads in the rock to save for later as a delicacy (left). Fevelo looks completely still and barren by day, but its wild, savage ecosystem emerges at night with the sulfur dioxide while the colonists rest a few hundred feet below the surface forgetting its even up there. Exciting recent discoveries suggest that Damnagoras may have a never-before-seen type of cyclical evolution, routinely changing form to adapt as the season changes every 80 years. Our scientists will be watching closely to see how these alien predators adapt to the warming temperatures as Fevelian Spring approaches for the first time since colonization.

Settlements: Fevelo is one of the most sparsely populated Cosumarite colonies due to the frigid surface weather, dreariness of living underground, toxic emissions, dangerous wildlife and remote location. Nuur, despite its relentless heat and very limited inhabitable space, has a population approaching 2 million. Fevelo, however, had only 160,000 inhabitants as of the 1000 Census. All of the "settlements" are actually in the same vast interconnected cave network and only a few minutes' underground travel from each other. There are only seven officially recognized settlements, the five most populous being the ones listed below. Bildeventure was the original research base established in 892. The original building is still there, but hundreds more have been added to make it a full-fledged subterranean city of 80,000. It is pictured to the right. Macofor and Dockery similarly started out as research bases a few years after Bildeventure. Kurbads and Mungonduvia have a different story. These settlements were founded by vagabond space travelers of Latvian descent who left Cosumar in their now-famous junk ship Skyforger as a sign of political and religious protest in the early 900s to start their own new pure and glorious society based on Latvian mythology. They set their sights on Fevelo as a place they could make their own and, despite many deaths and hardships at first (they refused help from Bildeventure), eventually succeeded to establish two lasting colonies. However, their vision of isolation was quickly ruined by other migrants who piled in within the decade.
1. Bildeventure - 80,000
2. Kurbads - 43,000
3. Macofor - 15,000
4. Dockery - 12,000
5. Mungonduvia - 7,000

Culture & Economy: There is a wealth of rare resources in the depths of the Fevelian caverns and the heights of the Fevelian mountains. Crystal, iron ore, gold, silver, gemstones, you name it - all in abundance. It is these exports that keep life in the lantern-lit subterranean cities going. Life itself in these settlements isn't so different from a Cosumarite city of similar size back home. Anymore at least. The early days were rough, but one can now find a good standard of life on Fevelo. No amount of electronic lanterns can replace an actual sun warming your skin, but there are restaurants, good beds, Holo TVs, video games, spas, etc. But life can get boring when you're essentially living in a rabbit hole, so sport viewership is massive here. Each city has a few elevators up to the surface, but their use is regulated with care. You have to apply or sign-up for a time days or even weeks in advance to get your trip approved. Everyone always looks forward to a trip up to the surface to see the gorgeous mountains and an actual sky, freezing cold or not. Winter sports such as boarding, skiing, curling and bobsledding are enormous on Fevelo. People always make sure to do some of these on their rare "surface days" on the nearby mountain glaciers and snow/ice caps if possible. It's a universal activity for families, friends, etc. Some even get pretty competitive. A curling team from Macofor actually stunned the world and won the St. Fortunat International Bonspiel in Cotdelapoms a few years back. You just have to make sure you don't have so much fun up there that you forget to be back at the elevator by 8 Many rigorous safety systems are in place to make sure they do so. Only 7 people have died by being left out at night in the 70+ years since Fevelo was incorporated by the Cosumarite crown in 930. Because of the broad assortment of people who staggered into Fevelo during its unsanctioned period of settling, the population is quite diverse, though there is still a strong Latvian demographic in Kurbads and Mungonduvia.

And most importantly, soccer: Fevelo has two clubs in the top three tiers of the Cosumarite pyramid and they would be Tredje Ligan sides Fevelo United and Ciems Mungonduvia. Fevelo United has spent most of its history in the third division, whereas Mungonduvia were just promoted from the fourth division this year for the first time. Other notable teams include FC Dynamo Kurbads (fourth division) and Sporting Club Macofor (fifth division). Though soccer is a massively popular spectator and recreational sport in Fevelo, you can always see kids playing in the streets, training for competitive Cosumar-style association football is difficult because there is only one actual professional pitch on the planet due to cost and space restraints: Fevelo United's ground in the capital settlement Bildeventure. All four of the professional clubs in Fevelo share the facility, though they have their own smaller areas for training that basically amount to grass patches. Against the odds, from these humble breeding grounds came one of the best players to ever don the Cosumarite colors: Paaron Petrov. Petrov was born and raised in Bildeventure in 968, and quickly found a love for soccer with the Fevelo United youth teams. He routinely dominated at every level, displaying a natural talent that had never before been seen on the planet. He played for the Fevelo United senior team from age 17 to 29, reluctant to move from the familiar subterranean streets on the only planet he had ever called home despite big offers from the Harlighet Ligan and elsewhere. After playing well in the World Cup for Cosumar, he finally moved offworld to play for Fadron Flight in Taeshan for 2 years. At 31, he brought even more pride to his humble colony by playing well and earning Player of the Year honors in the world's best league (the ANL) with Wrexton FC. At 33, he captained Cosumar in World Cup 71, becoming the first colonial-born player to captain the team. He is now 35 and still plays in Apox. He is on the WC72 squad as an impact substitute. Pictured to the left is Petrov at his Wrexton FC introductory press conference a couple years ago.

---

MD7: "Buyan sub slices into the box to equalize late and stave off Cosumar upset"
Buyan: Dahle 87'
Cosumar: Öhman 55'
Subs used: Lilley, Farsgaard, Va'Goshal

MD8: "Increasingly futile qualification campaign reaches new levels of frustration with late Stellonia equalizer"
Cosumar: Newman 20' (assisted by Merchison)
Stellonia: Simpson 80'
Subs used: Lilley, Arora, Petrov

MD9: "Draws piling up for Cosumar, who have only one win this cycle"
No scorers
Subs used: Farsgaard, Lilley, Corderro

---

Cosumar's World Cup 72 Journey
Pre-Qual Friendly: Super-Llamaland 0-0 Cosumar
Pre-Qual Friendly: Osarius 3-0 Cosumar
Pre-Qual Friendly: Cosumar 3-4 Super-Llamaland
Pre-Qual Friendly: Cosumar 3-3 Sameba
Matchday 1: Stellonia 1-0 Cosumar
Matchday 2: Cosumar 3-1 Eastfield Lodge
Matchday 3: Torisakia 3-2 Cosumar
Matchday 4: Cosumar 1-2 The Holy Republican Empire
Matchday 5: Lons 2-2 Cosumar
Matchday 6: Cosumar 2-2 Callagea
Matchday 7: Buyan 1-1 Cosumar
Mid-Qualifying Break
Matchday 8: Cosumar 1-1 Stellonia
Matchday 9: Eastfield Lodge 0-0 Cosumar
Matchday 10: Cosumar vs. Torisakia (@ Leviathan Arena, Kaldukosic)
Matchday 11: The Holy Republican Empire vs. Cosumar (@ Battle Hymn of the Empire Stadium, Republica)
Matchday 12: Cosumar vs. Lons (@ FireRiver Arena, Ramusok)
Matchday 13: Callagea vs. Cosumar
Matchday 14: Cosumar vs. Buyan (@ Leviathan Arena, Kaldukosic)
Blue: Draw
Green: Victory
Red: Defeat

Cosumar Goal-Scorers Tally (12 GF)
Ole Öhman (4)
Darwyn Lucassen (3)
Ace Newman (2)
Anders Engström (1)
Jon-Perohlin Nodtveit (1)
Sur Arora (1)

Cosumar Assists Tally
Felix Merchison (2)
Anders Engström (1)
Darwyn Lucassen (1)
Ole Öhman (1)
Mauricio Sigler (1)
Robahn Akindele (1)

[Associated Godlands]

News Wrap Associated Godlands

And it's that time of the day again, the time when you get your daily wrap of the news. It's News Wrap Associated Godlands!

Hunt for Black Person on Associated Godlands National Team Comtinues

After yesterday's news of a black person in the Associated Godlands National Team, authorities have tried to figure out who the black person is, but without much luck. They've had to rely on Shirley Phelps-Roper's sense of smell to find leads.

"I definitely smell him," says Phelps-Roper. "I just don't know who he is."

Suspects, at this point, include Bartholomew, Mike Huckabee, Tim Tebow, and Barack Obama.

God declined to comment.

A Black Person... and a Muslim?

In yet more startling allegations of foreign creatures on the Associated Godlands National Team, the giant portrait of Muhammed in the Associated Godlands locker room disappeared, suggesting that a Muslim removed it.

"A Muslim removed that picture, and that Muslim is on our team," says Shirley Phelps-Roper. "A black and a Muslim? So frightening."

God declined to comment.

God's Wrath on Associated Godlands National Team Continues

Undoubtedly because of the black/Muslim hidden in the Associated Godlands National Team, God has forced a loss on the Obeyers, as the Royal Kingdom of Quebec defeated them 6-4. The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ scored four goals, but it wasn't enough as Judas Iscariot had two own goals in addition to four goals scored by Royal Kingdom of Quebec. The lost dropped Associated Godlands to 0-3-6.

"Obviously, this is God's wrath," says Shirley Phelps-Roper. "We need to find that black person and that Muslim."

God declined to comment.

[Vermark]

Hanseatic Party Surges in the Polls
Progressive Conservatives in good shape on Election Day Eve.
Robert Johansten - Press Political Correspondent

With less than twenty-four hours remaining until Vares begin to cast their votes for Parliamentary elections, the Liberal Party has seen their worst nightmare come to life. A popular right-wing movement has taken hold of the historical liberal nation and threatened to create an unprecedented political event: A conservative party ruling with a majority government in Vermark.

Videnhagen Press Election Predictor
Progressive Conservatives: 260 Seats
Liberals: 172 Seats
Christian Democrats: 22 Seats
Socialists: 12 Seats
Independents: 14 Seats
*Out of 480 Seats

The last set of polls before the exit polls have unveiled a shocking revelation. According to a Videnhagen Press/University of Videnhagen survey, fifty-four percent of Vares claim they would vote for the Progressive Conservative party. Dubbed the Hanseatic Party due to Party leader Markus Leonardsson's exposé detailing the party's doctrine, the PCP has become popular among many for their ability to reach out to the progressive and conservative bases of Vermark. The Hanseatics have promised to leave the welfare state intact while also planning to steer the economy away from collectives and unions. Their most pretentious plans include privatizing the energy sector and forcing Velstand, Vermark's biggest agricultural pool, to become a corporation instead of a farmers' union. These proposed tactics have resonated well with Varish voters who commonly believe that increase capitalism will aid Vermark in its increasing interactions with the worldwide economic system.

The Liberals make up thirty-six percent while the Socialist Party and Christian Democrats both make up small minorities. While the Liberals could easily team up with the socialists, the Christian Democrats, who are expected to hold at least forty seats, won't be much help to the predicted left-wing opposition. If the Liberal Party does manage to win, it will likely have a minority government. In this scenario, the Christian Democrats will become much more valuable and become an extremely important player on the Varish political stage. In the event the Liberals loose, the party will have to take a closer look at itself; a Liberal loss would bring four decades of a majority left-wing government to a screeching halt.

[Recuecn]

[OOC: The events of this RP took place previous to match-day 8.]

Franky Adams, Ly Nasser and Freeman Lebo walked down the street together.

"I don't know why we didn't do this earlier," Franky was saying.

"Yeah," said Freeman. "I haven't been here in years... probably since before I started playing for the Tunnellers, way back." His thoughts wandered. "Wow, can you believe I played for the Tunnellers? What a third-rate team."

Nasser and Franky looked at each other. They could totally believe it. "Aww, come on, let's not talk about teams, or agents, or practice. Or football at all. It's not a game anymore, it's work. We came out to have fun." Nasser had his goals for the night clear.

"Yeah, you're right," said Lebo. "And man, it's been such a pain lately... so much stress... I need a drink."

"Believe me, it's worth the walk to get there," said Franky.

"Ok, I can wait," said Lebo. "But five minutes, tops."

The threesome kept walking down the road together. They were in the pedestrian-only section of downtown Recuecn: la vieille ville. The narrow streets were paved with cobblestones, and lined with shops, bars and cafes of all kinds. Early Friday evening, the scene was lively, as a few tardy shoppers rushed to get their desired merchandise at the few stores that were still open, but the frequenters of the bars were out too, and the first hints of the night-life were beginning to show. The trio, celebrities in Recuecn during the very football-conscious nation's well-covered World Cup qualifying campaign, wore shades to protect their identities, although Franky didn't really mind being identified. The other two wor hoodies, while he strutted proudly next to them, wearing a button-down shirt with short sleeves. He smiled at all the girls he passed. Most recognized him and blinked at him coyly.

"It doesn't take five whole minutes to get there though, does it, Franky?" asked Nasser. "I'm thirsty."

"Oh, no no no, it's right here. L'Epee de la Lune, the best whiskey in Recuecn. And the best beer too."

"Really? I would have thought you'd be a fan of a Genevan beer." Lebo was a bit incredulous.

"I am. Sorry, I meant the city."

"Oh."

Nasser was confused too. "Wait, how do you know what their whiskey's like? You're only seventeen, I thought."

Now it was Franky's turn to be confused. "Uh, I don't know. I mean, Tremblay told me. This is his favorite bar too, and he only drinks like whiskey, brandy, and maybe some champagne if he's feeling fancy."

The other two stared at him.

"Aww, come on, I've tried it of course. I'm not denying it. But didn't you guys too, before you were eighteen?"

Lebo nodded and smiled. Nasser didn't answer. "Let's go in then," he said.

They went in and sat down in a not-terribly-well lit corner. It was handily close to the bar, which curved outwards through the room in a semi-circle. Lebo managed to get the bartender attention by tugging on his sleeve. He ordered three large, dark beers. The bartender poured them and went back to the other end of the bar, where he was in a deep conversation with an old man who he obviously knew very well--he probably came every evening.

"Here," said Lebo, putting the beers on the table.

"Thanks."

"Thanks, Freeman."

Lebo sat down and took a big gulp of his. "What I still don't get is how you know about this place, if you two spend all your time in Geneva and... and whatever ghost town the Lampadaires are from, ha, ha."

Nasser rolled his eyes. "Albertville. But I come up to Recuecn pretty often anyways. I wouldn't say I know its bars like the back of my hand, though. Not sure I remember being to this one before."

"That just means they did a good job," laughed Lebo. "But Franky, seriously, how'd you find this place if you live in Geneva?"

"Like I said, Tremblay recommended it," said Franky, swallowing a small sip of his beer. "I wasn't making that up. He comes here really often, too." He took another sip.

Lebo too, took another swallow, and drained his glass. He put it down rather loudly on the table. "Man, hurry up you guys. I'll go get three more."

By the time he got back from his efforts to get the ever conversation-concentrated bartender to serve them, Franky and Nasser had finished as well. "Here, drink up," insisted Lebo. They complied.

"Hey, did you see that cute girl at the other end of the bar?" asked Franky. "Whaddya guys think of her?"

"I don't know, she's cute, sure, but she looks pretty young," said Lebo. "She can't be eighteen."

"Neither am I," pointed out Franky.

"Yeah, I'd definitely stay away from her then," said Lebo.

Franky winked at her anyways. She didn't notice.

"You're right, dude," said Nasser. "This isgood beer."

"The whiskey's even better," said Franky. "You should try it."

"I haven't finished my beer yet," said Nasser. "What do you think, Freeman?"

"Donno. It looks pretty expensive."

"You get what you pay for," said Franky, helpfully.

"I got some money, I can help pay," said Nasser.

"Naw, this was my idea," said Lebo. "I should pay."

"It was Franky's, remember?" said Nasser.

"I forgot my wallet," said Franky.

"I guess we can try it," said Lebo.

The bartender still refused to pay attention. Eventually Lebo returned with three full shot glasses. "He's not paying any attention at all," he laughed. "I think he thinks I've had six beers and I'm planning to drink these all myself."

It wasn't terribly funny, but Franky and Nasser laughed anyways. Perhaps it was partly out of politeness, but the beer made it easier.

"What should we drink to?" asked Franky, who already had a whiskey raised in his hand. He'd taken it while Lebo and Nasser were laughing. Lebo hadn't been one hundred per cent sure he was going to give it to him, but whatever.

"To the nation," said Lebo, who was feeling magnanimous.

"To the team," said Nasser. "To our game tomorrow."

"Cheers," said Franky, and swallowed his. "To our first win," he added, a little late.

"I hope," said Lebo.

"Who are we playing, the J.U.? We tied them away, right?" said Franky, forgetting Nasser's earlier injunction against talking football. "We gotta be able to beat 'em at home."

"The Jeckish Union, yes," said Lebo. "But I don't think it'll be that/[i] easy."

Nasser sighed. He hadn't forgotten. But after three drinks, it wasn't quite so bad. "Nil-nil last time," he said. "It's us to up three to put us ahead this time."

"Let's have another round," said Lebo. He was feeling more relaxed now. "We can drink to us scoring tomorrow."

"Sure," said Nasser.

"I'm not affronting that barman again," said Lebo. "You do it." He handed Nasser some money.

Nasser went over to work the bartender.

"I still think that chick's pretty hot," said Franky, looking back across the room at her.

"I'll give her that," said Lebo. He stared at her a bit too long to be polite, but she didn't notice.

Nasser made it back with the drinks in record time. "To our goals tomorrow," he said.

"May they be many in number," added Lebo.

"Just like our world cup titles," grinned Franky.

"Yeah right," said Nasser.

The door to the bar swung open. It had certainly not stayed closed throughout the evening, as [i]L'Epee de la Lune was certainly popular, but this time, as the newest guest walked in, a hush fell across the table of footballers in the corner.

"It's Tremblay," said Franky.

"I saw," said Nasser.

"We probably shouldn't let him see us," said Lebo, suddenly feeling guilty. Franky felt a bit relieved he didn't have to be the one to admit that meeting their coach at the bar was probably not good thing. He felt a twinge... of guilt? No, sooner responsibility. This had been his idea.

"He's coming this way," he said.

"We should definitely not let him see us," said Lebo.

Franky hid under the table. He had already been halfway underneath it.

"He will see us, if we don't get out of here," said Nasser.

"What do we do, Ly!?" Lebo was starting to panic a little.

"Look, here's a door," said Nasser, leading the way out towards the back. He wound up behind the bar.

"Come on, Franky!" Lebo grabbed him by the ankle.

"But I've got a great view of that girl from down here," he said. Lebo gave a sharp jerk to his leg, and he came scrambling up.

"Where's Ly?"

"This way."

The pair followed through the doorway. They practically smashed into the bartender, who was serving Tremblay a whiskey. The bartender didn't notice them. He obviously still wanted to get back to his other customer.

"Now where's he go?" Freddy hissed.

"Come on."

Lebo disappeared through another doorway. Franky followed him and found himself in a kitchen, the walls lined with utensils, cupboards, and row after row of liquor. A cook was standing at a stove with his back to them. Nasser was hiding behind a counter. The pair of late-comers ducked next to him.

Tremblay's voice drifted through the flimsy door behind them as he tried to get the bartender's attention again. "I don't know, that was a good recommendation, that whiskey, but I think I'll have my usual now."

"Sure thing." It was the bartender's gruff voice. "Three parts, two and one?"

"Like always."

"The bottle of cognac's empty. I'll go get another one from the back."

To the horror of the three footballers, the door started to open.

"Scram!" Franky had some how managed to scream in a whisper.

The only other door in the room was on the other side of the cook.

"Introoders!" shrieked the cook. "Get oot've me kitchen!"

They complied, bursting through the door. They found themselves in a dark hallway, ran to the end, found a locked door... they burst it open with their shoulders and emerged... into another bar next door.

"Security!"

The three found themselves on their faces outside on the pavement, picking themselves up and dusting themselves off as a passing lone photographer who had recognized them snapped photos. A few people gathered. The bouncers, who hadn't had anything to do all night, wore proud smiles as they stood by the door, arms crossed.

"Oh no," Franky moaned.

The row had drawn the attention of those drinking next door in L'Epee de la Lune, and Tremblay had come out to see what the fuss was all about. He couldn't believe his eyes.

"What are you three doing here!"

"I might ask you the same thing," Franky muttered.

"I guess he does like this place," returned Nasser, under his breath. "We'll have to avoid it next time."

"We just came out to have a drink or two to relax the evening before the next game," answered Lebo.

"Humph. One drink or two? And what's all this hubbub about?"

"We were just trying to take a shortcut," said Franky.

"We wound up behind the bar, but I swear it was an accident," said Nasser.

"We haven't been into any trouble, I promise," said Lebo.

Tremblay's face grew sterner. He evidently believed none of it. He went to talk to the bouncers to see what happened. Then the bartender. Then the bartender in L'Epee de la Lune. He had no luck convincing the latter to talk to him. He returned to the trio of troublemakers.

"What caused your big rush?" he asked. "Why the hurry? The more haste, the less speed, you know."

Nasser looked at his shoes. "We were trying to avoid meeting you," he admitted, quietly.

"And why was that?"

Silence.

"What were you doing that was so terrible you couldn't face me?"

"Well," Lebo mumbled, "We didn't think you'd like to see us drinking."

"Didn't think I'd like to see you drinking!!" yelled Tremblay, losing his cool. "Didn't think I'd like to see you drinking!! And what clued you idiots in!?" he demanded, knocking Lebo on the side of his head. It sounded a little hollow. "Maybe the fact that I'd LITERALLY FUCKING FORBIDDEN you to drink the weekends before games!? Huh!? Maybe was it that!?"

None of the three could come up with any excuses.

"That's it!!" Tremblay snapped. "None of you are playing tomorrow!"

Franky couldn't take this much. Not after having drunk to the goals he would score. "But coach! Freeman and I are basically the front line! And if you take me off, you always replace me with Ly! How will you play without any strikers!?"

"I'll put Hippolyte and Jean-Baptiste on, and no center forward. Your buddy Saunders will have to try to score. We'll play defense like always, and if we don't score, you know what? Too bad! And when we lose a shut-out tomorrow versus the Jeckish Union, and the reporters come knocking on my door, asking why I didn't start a striker, how can I expect to score, you know what I'll say?"

"What?" Nasser somehow felt he had to ask.

"I'll say it's YOUR FUCKING FAULT!"

[Stellonia]

Stellonia wants its Style Modifier to be changed to 5.

[Jeruselem]

Princess Laura and Princess Amy in Tumbra

Laura: This is Princess Laura Virgia Dalla for Naked News Jeruselem. We're in Tumbra, yes, not Tumbler. It is a country. I'm with Jeruselem coach Princess Amy, just Mum to me. Another away game and this time we've lost.
Amy: Err, yes. We lost like 5-2.
Laura: So much for making progress Mum, I know we didn't score that many goals but even we scored 4 we would have lost.
Amy: I'm not surprised, we spent most of the game in our own half. Which means the strikers get little impact in the game.
Laura: It is a bit colder here than at home as well
Amy: We don't like games in colder climates but it's no excuse to lose 5-2

Laura: We definitely struggled to get the ball out of our own half
Amy: Which means it makes life so much easier for our opponent
Laura: Definitely not the same team effort as last game
Amy: Arriving late here didn't help either, didn't get much training time in
Laura: This is a real setback, as we needed to improve on our last half.
Amy: The last thing we needed is a loss in a game where we should win is not good

Laura: Tumbra move to 4th, we're 3rd but not by much!
Amy: The United North States upset Sargossa 2-1 which is a great relief to us
Laura: Yes, that's a real handy loss for our situation
Amy: Sargossa still have a huge buffer to us and 4th place
Laura: Just means we can't afford anymore of these slipups
Amy: Our goal difference took a battering as well

Laura: For some good news, Jeru FC beat Legalese 4-2 at home. Yes, it's the same team who drew 0-0 with the bottom team at home.
Amy: They beat Legalese?
Laura: Yes, and well done. Pity they didn't win the previous game.
Amy: Well, means Jeru FC can take 2nd spot if they are good enough
Laura: That's an upset alright, Legalese perfect record is gone
Amy: I guess they had to lose some time

Laura: Jeru FC are still 3rd with a 6 point buffer over those medieval people.
Amy: They might do good this cup
Laura: Group 11, Bears Armed beat the Kryties 3-1! Kryties do not top the group anymore. Kernansquillec take over while Valladares are 3rd. Bears Armed 4th. Well done
Amy: I knew they had to get better than 2nd last
Laura: It is too late for them
Amy: 5 points is not impossible to gain, given the belles beat some of the top 3 in the group

Laura: Yes. Well. A good day for all except us.
Amy: I'm upset but I can't change the result today
Laura: Just to note Starblaydia, are doing worse than us. I guess that's one comfort.
Amy: 5 draws, gee. That's a lot of draws.
Laura: I don't think they can overhaul the others in group 18.
Amy: That's a tough gig from their position

Laura: I know why the boys are suddenly a bit inspired
Amy: Oh yes, the new Naked News Jeruselem trainee. Who happens to be the Jeru FC coach's daughter.
Laura: She's so cute, no wonder the boys are so excited
Amy: Yes excited as in the pants excited
Laura: Nepotism runs rife around here
Amy: Daughter interviews mum, daughter interviews dad.

Laura: That's Jeruselem for you.
Amy: We can't complain about it
Laura: Nope
Amy: That's it from us. Satelite time is very expensive
Laura: See you all later. Hopefully we back on track or not off the rails.
Amy: Looks off the rails at the moment.

[Jeru FC]

Major Trooble talking to his daughter Sara

Major: How is my little girl?
Sara: Oh great, I'm learning so much in this job
Major: You met all the boys
Sara: Yes, they were very keen to talk to me
Major: I'm sure they were
Sara: I guess they would

Major: Why are you here?
Sara: Oh, Laura Cashman wants to give this Jeru FC job to someone else. She wants to stay at home more.
Major: I guess it'd make sense giving it to the new trainee
Sara: I don't get to travel much so I'm happy to take over
Major: Doesn't bother you, you have wear nothing most of the time
Sara: I'm getting used to it, doesn't really bother me

Major: I did tell the boys, no funny business
Sara: I dunno, they sure behave like that
Major: There's enough of that going on already with this lot
Sara: Is it true, they might not be playing football soon after the cup?
Major: Nothing is confirmed, I hope I can keep this gig
Sara: Your old job was training up recruits

Major: I'm getting too old for that now. This job give ones more challenges.
Sara: I can see why from what you have to deal with
Major: They are alright, they don't mean to be bad but they aren't angels
Sara: For sure, they sure think in dirty ways.
Major: Say, what do you learn?
Sara: You have to act natural, some people become embarassed and jittery when they are naked. You have learn to think it's normal.

Major: I've seen Princess Laura standing around in the snow nude
Sara: Yes well, they say you have learn to just put up with the cold. It's not too bad on a warm day.
Major: You have to do any special in terms of training?
Sara: They don't want you to get to skinny or fat, because it's gonna be obvious. And no body hair.
Major: I guess that's too bad.
Sara: Being preggers is alright with them, they don't care. Most of them are Mums so they understand.

Major: I'm not ready for grandkids yet
Sara: I'll wait, don't worry.
Major: You watch the game today?
Sara: Yes, the boys were really good. Well compared to the last game.
Major: They just beat an unbeaten team
Sara: Wow, and drew with the bottom team before.

Major: See what I'm dealing with, they can be great or just completely disinterested
Sara: That ROAW guy loves to talk
Major: Since he's got married, he's had to become ... responsible so he doesn't go bonking everyone now
Sara: Oh yes, his wife is Princess Laura. She's a bit of dragon sometimes.
Major: Someone has to keep him under control.
Sara: Thank God for that. The others aren't any better.

[Nephara]

THE BRINEMOUTH HERALD
'REAL PLAYERS ARE FORGED' - A LOOK AT THE NEPHARIM YOUTH SYSTEM, PART TWO
by August Fairweather

On the whole, the Under-21 League of Nephara doesn't get much attention.
There's eight hundred and fifty six people in the stands to see Sabrefell Moths take on Crisisbless United. The reserve teams, that is.
The Moths are favourites. With the Under-21s, the Moths are usually favourites. And there's a special treat in store, too - Maria Martell's in the starting lineup, recovering from a minor injury.
Martell's the club captain. A Felix international. She's played at World Cups, but right now, for 45 minutes, she's going to be in the same midfield as Con Temple, most recently linked to Sheridan.
"First half only, that's what the word is from above." Nikita Klose, the Under-21 manager, is 50 years old but looks twenty years younger. The hair dye helps, she admits. "It's mostly a match fitness thing, you know? Sometimes you get problems with the senior players coming in and not taking it seriously - think it's a bit of a laugh, really, a kickabout - but we're not expecting any problems like that with Maria. She's a real rolemodel like that. It'll be good to have her in the team for a game."
Juergen Evans kicks off, a promising 18-year old centreforward who's been knocking in one every two games for the U-21s and utterly dominating the U-18s. Unsurprisingly, he gets the first goal, 18 minutes in; Hewett's cross from the right, Evans darts between the centrebacks and swipes it in. The 856 fans applaud and cheer.
"Defence should've had that, but the youth teams tend to imitate the senior ones, get the same brand of football played through every age group," Klose confides in me. "And for United, well, that means abysmal defence."
The Moths continue to dominate. After all, they have Maria Martell in midfield, making the difference. Temple's long strides and good passing range help out, of course, but the play goes through Martell. Finally, in the 29th minute, her shot is dropped by United's goalkeeper, Seckerson, and Evans slips in from nowhere to bundle the ball in. 2-0.
It's three just four minutes later, Martell's pass finding the huge gaps between Gethin Kenzie and Beth Garrick in the United defence, gaps that have been there all along. This time it's the other striker, 20-year old Malakai Curtis (another one who's probably not going to make the grade) who slots past Seckerson. United look well beaten, and are lucky not to be worse off come the interval.
Half-time team talk. Klose's determined to make sure the team doesn't get complacent; "they're gonna have to come at you, so be ready to hit 'em on the counter and keep tight at the back!" Martell offers Temple a personal compliment before being taken off as ordered for one Per Spector, a rangy 19-year old ginger. Temple practically glows.
The second half's a closer-run thing, but the home side's up 3-0 and 'a close run thing' isn't enough. Besides, Carsten Thunder is a colossus in goal. 19 years of age, in many ways the spitting image of his famous father, Gerhard - and some feel he's on the path to the national team, too. Ultimately Spector manages what Martell couldn't, rising high above the rest to head home Mackay's corner, and the Moths seal a thumping win.
There might only be 856 fans, but three points in this league is like three points anywhere, and puts them back to within a point of first. "We broke a pretty bleak run of form out there," says Klose, clearly relieved. The relief is real. The passion is real. The distraught expressions on the faces of United's reserves is real.
There's particular elation on the face of Curtis, one of the goalscorers. "One of the scouts on the bench was in for me, right? From Brookford Otters? Reckoned he could get a loan with option to buy deal on the table - if I impressed him, that is! I'll bet that put a smile on his fuckin' face! And they're on the rise these days, and all! Hah!"
Youth football doesn't matter? Try telling these players that.

[Brenecia]

Foolishly, Geneva Urquhart let herself hope.
She stepped tentatively out of her six-yard box as Brenecia thundered up the pitch. Sure, they were 2-1 down against the world champions with - she checked the clock - four minutes left. Sure, they were an inferior team, but... they were on home ground! They could do this!
And... and why not, right? Something needed to go their way sooner or later.
Duffy to Purrington, who was exhausted but still hit the ball up for Cullen. Cullen raced inside and pulled the trigger!
Fletcher saved.
But there was Pendragon pouncing on the loose ball- wide.
It was lonely all the way back here in the goal, but at least it meant Brenecia were dominant. They'd been dominant for eight minutes now, since Cullen had pulled through for them and smashed home one goal back. They just needed a second, despite the fact that Osarius had been in control almost the entire match.
Costello in possession... tackled by Breton. Immediately, the Patriots rushed forwards, and Breton found a good pass for Scherzer who knocked it back to Purrington who found space to shoot! Deflected off the substitute Gallardo... but cleared by Bocchetti. Though only out for a corner. Cullen had been lurking, not leaving her marker time to hoof it out into the right direction.
Purrington stepped up for the corner, gloriously unhurried. Briefly, Urquhart pondered going up for it too, but... that wouldn't help. Besides, they still had some time left. It wasn't worth it. Only the fullbacks, Duffy and Berenger (the second Crisisbless substitute this game, who had come on in search of the equaliser for her gifts going forward) were hanging back with her, around the halfway line.
The Wye United midfielder, who had at least had the chance to catch her breath en route to the corner flag, finally smashed in the inswinger. Faulkner rose for it - then Gallardo! Duguid! Rodriguez! Scherzer!
Fletcher claimed it powerfully with both hands.
Urquhart swore under her breath.
She swore louder when Fletcher got quickly off the ground and released the ball quickly to Monroe (the Osarian winger Monroe, not the Brenecian defender Monroe), another fresh substitute, who immediately made use of his youthful pace to sprint ahead and... and Urquhart already knew this would be bad. Belatedly, the Patriots tried to make their way back. Duffy engaged Monroe, but the Trothwands winger passed the ball off to Puntoriero as the Bellight fullback just slid off aimlessly, clattering Monroe. The referee waved advantage. Puntoriero and Kane played a one-two to cut through Berenger, but the rightback at least got a touch as she floundered, cutting it back forward. But only to Mancini, who now had a clear run on goal.
Kane soon flagged - after all, he was thirty. But that left Mancini, Puntoriero and Monroe, all racing for goal, Mancini in possession.
Against her, Geneva Urquhart.
There was only one way this would end. Top-class forwards didn't squander this kind of chance. She came out anyway, hopelessly. Nearly got lucky - she got fingers on the ball as Mancini slid it back to Monroe and was smashed to the ground. Another advantage played as Monroe rolled the ball into the net.
It only added insult to injury as Gerry Duffy sprinted back and hurled himself at the ball, but only knocked it further into the net before hooking it, so little, so late, back over the line. Goalline technology wasn't having any of it. Neither was Puntoriero, who smashed it into the net a second time.
Urquhart sighed as she lay prone on the grass, and wondered, not for the first time, if it was all really worth it.

[Abanhfleft]

CRESCENT NEWS NETWORK
SPORTS CHANNEL - OFFICIAL WEBSITE
ABANHFLEFT • PRIDNESTROVIA • OONTAZ DERT LI NG • COPPER CUPRUM • TRENDSTART • FHULGHAMOUS PENINSULA

WORLD CUP 72 QUALIFIERS: WALKANY VS ABANHFLEFT
By Malik Qazizadah


Players of the Abanhfleft women's national football team celebrate after scoring a goal. Abanhfleft returned to winning ways in stunning form with a 5-3 win over Walkany away. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Ulysses Turogo)

WANDELAAR, WALKANY - Abanhfleft recovered from their heartbreaking loss against San Jose Guayabal with a win full of goals against Walkany. A burst of three goals from Chelsea Stuart and Alexandra Rousseau in the first was more than enough to seal victory for the Lady Revolutionaries.

Keen to recover from their loss against San Jose Guayabal on the road, the Lady Revolutionaries applied systematic pressure on the Gators, which canceled out the home side's tendency for all-out attack.

Jurgen Coeman was once again on form for Walkany as he kept out numerous attempts from Abanhfleft's three forward players in the first thirty minutes of the game.

But Alexandra Rousseau finally broke through Coeman's defense with a chip over the keeper following the long ball from Jordana Valentine.

Chelsea Stuart followed up three minutes later with a goal of her own, a curling effort that beat Coeman by sliding in the narrow gap between the post and the keeper's fingers.

Stuart got her second goal after four minutes by sending in a free kick from 32 yards that curled around the wall and found the net.

In the second half, a particularly hard tackle by Adelaide Singh on Eddy Haphazard saw her get sent off and concede the penalty. Leones Cleen stepped up to the spot and put his team back in the game, for as much as it was worth, as even after Cleen's penalty Abanhfleft still held all the momentum.

Allison Torres struck the screamer from 28 yards out to up Abanhfleft's lead, and Bella Maynard's shot following Coeman's save against a Stuart shot.

But that didn't mean Walkany gave up. Haphazard scored a goal himself in the 80th minute, and Chris Rolonda headed in a free kick from Cleen to put Walkany just two goals behind Abanhfleft, but four minutes of regular time plus seven minutes of injury time wasn't enough for the hosts to recover, and the Fleftics walked away with all three points.

Abanhfleft will host Gabbindon and the Liffan Isles in the Stadion de December 27 in Imgortur, Verbergerkinnh.

          WALKANY 3 - 5 ABANHFLEFT
CLEEN (48') (pen)       ROUSSEAU (31')
  HAPHAZARD (80')       STUART (34', 38')
    ROLONDA (86')       TORRES (53')
                        MAYNARD (62')

ABANHFLEFT
GK: 01 Carter █
RB: 02 Osgood
CB: 03 Jackson
LB: 04 Valentine (Heaton - 84')
RW: 07 Prescott (Johnson - 63')
RM: 05 Maynard
LM: 06 Choi █
LW: 08 Singh █
CAM: 09 Torres
RS: 11 Stuart
LS: 10 Rousseau

WALKANY
GK: 01 Coeman
RB: 04 Guardiola (Haywood - 81')
RCB: 03 Gones (Gourde - 62')
LCB: 02 de Man
LB: 05 Poloski █
CDM: 06 Lucius █ (Shawn - 50')
RM: 08 Daniels
LM: 07 Xavi
RW: 11 Haphazard
CF: 10 Cleen
LW: 09 Rolonda

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
Walkany: 40%
Abanhfleft: 60%
Shots
Walkany: 9 (4 on target)
Abanhfleft: 21 (12 on target)
Corners
Walkany: 10
Abanhfleft: 24
Fouls
Walkany: 6
Abanhfleft: 10

WORLD CUP QUALIFYING GROUP 12 TABLE

P Group 12                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Abanhfleft                           9    6   2   1    27   18   +9    20
2 San José Guayabal                    9    6   1   2    27   16  +11    19
3 Ko-oren                              9    6   0   3    12    5   +7    18
4 New Wolfopolis                       9    4   2   3    10   14   −4    14
5 Sameba                               9    3   3   3    16   17   −1    12
6 Walkany                              9    3   1   5    18   20   −2    10
7 Gabbindon and The Liffan Isles       9    1   2   6    13   24  −11     5
8 Nurovo                               9    1   1   7    10   19   −9     4

[Polar Islandstates]

Boring
A regulation win over one of the teams threatening to get near us at the top of the table. Yawn. No East Franz Athletic players appearing throughout the ninety minutes and giving me something to get exciting aboug. Boring.

It was slick, it was professional, and it was relatively easy. It was everything we've come to expect from Rasmussen's time in charge of the Terns. Just, it was against a nation with whom we have absolutely zero history or drama. Sure, their fans seemed nice enough in the stands - they sang, they shouted, they cheered when their team scored a goal right at the end, but there wasn't anything really there for us Twitchers to really get our teeth into.

"Oh we know nothing about you but you seem quite nice, watch us beat you anyway" isn't a great one, as chants go. Though, five thousand people singing it in a monotonous voice at the away fans was pretty funny.

Odd that that was a highlight of the match though, given the free kick from Gunnlaugsson, the penalty claims, and the second half double from Bickermann. They were all good enough goals, I suppose, but... it wasn't going to make any headlines abroad, put it that way.

We're injury free, we're drama free - so long as we avoid losing to Kandorith again we'll probably go through as champions of the group. So, let's hope we do that and we get round to it quickly. The sooner we get some grudge matches, the better for the excitement levels!

---

Lee Sharp

Right, then. Another column, another simulation based around the abilities of a striker who was prolific for their nation and for their clubs along the way. Lee Sharp.

By my count, he actually only ever scored once against us, which is odd because he scored a shitload against nearly everyone else. Anyway, Lee Sharp was the target, and once again England was the RLStates nation I targeted for his nationality. Picking at random, I went with a town called Shrewsbury to start him off in. As for his stats, well, I decided to run a little experiment at this point and aside from his birthplace and his height, and a few preferred moves that we all know from real life, I gave him almost identical stats to those I gave Tregajorran in the last column. Partly because in the real world they were incredibly similar players, and partly because I want to see what the game does with almost identical players in simultaneous simulations. Should be interesting. Particularly because I thought Tregajorran was dealt a bit of an unfair hand last time around. I mean, they can't all be legendary strikers in the game, I'm sure, but still...

And then, well, see for yourself. Nearly identical stats, and a vastly different career trajectory.

Starting with the youth team of Aston Villa, Sharp spent the first three seasons of his professional career working his way up the level of the English league structure with three different teams. Standing out as a teenager with a fantastic future ahead of him at Stevenage, Watford, and then finally at second tier promotion challenger Sheffield United, Sharp scored goals with increasing regularity and from more impressive positions against increasingly challenging defences.

No surprises then, that by the time he was starting the first of three seasons in the top flight for Aston Villa, he was already a highly thought of talent that many of the bigger clubs were looking at as a serious prospect. Three seasons and forty-eight Premier League goals later, Sharp was part of a Villa squad that had qualified for the Europa League. Sharp, however would never play a single minute in that competition.

During that off-season, he became another target of Manchester United's neverending desire to have the best young English strikers - something I think RLStates picked up from the fact the best Euran strikers often played in Eura for almost all of their career - and signed for the giants off the fiction CFM universe for a massive $34m.

During his time at United, Sharp scored more than a goal every two games in the league, picking up the Premier League top scorer gong on three separate occasions. This on it's own would be a remarkable enough statistic, but with four Premier League titles, one FA Cup and two Champions League titles added into the mix, it was a phenomenally successful five years at the top of the English game for Sharp, and one that propelled him with a lot of hype and expectation into the England national team.

I've no idea whether any England squad or any international squad in real life would ever be able to accommodate both Sharp and Tregajorran, but as I read through the ways Sharp had scored, and from what positions, I became curious as to what would have happened had I actually put them in the same simulation. Certainly, two similar strikers in the same eleven isn't usually the best way of going around tactical decisions, but it would have been interesting to see if England could have made it work. And, to see if they'd still have ended up at rival clubs City and United during their time in the league, too.

Sharp would go one better than Tregajorran in international football, too, with a European Championship winners medal to show for his efforts in the number nine shirt - scoring twice against Germany in the final in 2024.

An international superstar like Sharp was always going to attract attention from abroad though, and in 2026 he made an expensive $29m move to Paris Saint-Germain, who were now managed by the same person in charge of the German team that Sharp had single-handedly beaten two years earlier. French giants flush on money, PSG have always been RPed by RLStates users as a bit of an arrogant club that wants to buy only the best and compete for trophies across all competitions. The CFM simulation has emulated this arrogance, and the PSG team in this simulation was astonishingly good. Despite "only" (!) scoring thirty-four goals in three seasons there and not really forcing his way into being a first-team regular, Sharp was still part of a side that won three league titles and two more Champions League trophies whilst he was there - making him one of the most decorated Englishmen in the history of that competition.

In fact, I wonder how many actual players have won the Champions' Cup on more than one occasion, let alone four...

He was, by this point, getting on a bit however, and in what was something of a coup for the team at the time, Swansea City purchased his services in the summer of 2029 for $12m. One explosive first season saw him guide Swansea to the Europa League, but injuries meant he was unable for selection in the qualification rounds, and Swansea were knocked out.

I wonder what would have happened if Tregajorran were there, too...

An underwhelming injury hit second season in South Wales led to him being allowed to move on loan to Premier League struggler Sunderland in the third year of his contract, where he scored six times in eighteen top flight appearances before being allowed to move on a free to second flight side Bournemouth. He managed to squeeze three more seasons out of his legs on the south coast, and retired in 2035 having added another eighteen goals to his overall tally.

Just like in real life, the CFM then made his way into the world of coaching and management, with varying levels of success.

The attacking coach position at Swansea soon turned into a first team assistant manager position at the same club, where he was instrumental in helping to guide the Swans back into Europe. So eye-catching was his style, in fact, that even from the assistants chair he managed to tempt former club Sheffield United into offering him the managerial position there. Two seasons of reasonable success were followed by a disastrous campaign in which he was sacked three games from the end of the season for having nearly gotten them relegated.

League One club Port Vale threw him a rope, but after missing out on the players he wanted in the transfer window, Port Vale's second season started getting progressively shakier and he was sacked in the second half of the season. He blamed not being able to buy his targets. The club and fans blamed his questionable tactical decisions at any point on the pitch behind the front two.

A handful of years in the wilderness (let's say he went on television as a pundit) ended in 2048, where Bolton Wanderers offered him a position as first team coach. This was a position he accepted, and he was still there when the simulation ended in 2050.

So, there you have it. Not much of a manager, but a fantastic player. And just goes to show how instrumental those first few years of development can be for a player. Compare Sharp's first few seasons of football to Tregajorran's from the last simulation. Even though I put them through with almost identical stats, they've come out entirely different. Some of that could be the clubs they were playing with at the time, yes, but some of it must have come down to the footballing education the game reckoned each of them was lucky or unlucky enough to receive in their formative years. Food for thought.

---

Now, finally, we'll get round to Henning Blonqvist next time. I've simmed him, I've made the little side box thingy, and I've double and triple backed it up. So, no damage of losing the data this time!

Pip pip!

Henrik. x.


Part 1: Kohev Küngas-Vaga
Part 2: Alexsandr van Sorensen
Part 3: Felix Saarinen
Part 4: Jean-Eric Villeneuve
Part 5: Tolgus Tregajorran
Part 6: Lee Sharp
Part 7: Henning Blonqvist
Part 8: Steffan Pekarik
Part 9: Petter Bielsen
Part 10a+b: Niko Marek + Ernesto Farías
Part 11a+b: Zacharias Juul + Mateus Carvalho
Part 12a+b: Timo Skye + 'Laborious Hawk vs Valrauncion'

[Augusticinia]

Augusticinia ties Matthewsiania

The Augusticinia-Matthewsiania match was a slow tactical game. The game was played in Matekkipper, Matthewsiania. There were no bookings in the match. Matthewsiania scored in the 33rd minute during a corner. Meluna was able to get above Augusticinian Defender, Stephan Dragic, and put the ball in the upper-half of the goal. Augusticinia tied the game when Ernst Bulle, recieved a through ball from Louis Mendoza. Ernst Bulle received the ball inside the box and shot a quick low ball into the Lower-left corner in the 65th Minute. The Man of the Match was Meluna due to his goal and show of leadership on the pitch.


Meluna attempts to dribble past Augusticinian Captain Wilhelm Markov


McKenzie Colium yelling at Match Official Lance Pelaez

Injury Report: Charles MacBranian

Augusticinian Medical Officials and The Augusticinian National Team Medical Staff have agreed that Charles MacBranian will be out for the next two games. After his neck was elbowed by Carialus's Bruno Gomes during Augusticinia's 7th Match. He has reported strain in the neck and Medical Officials believe that it needs to rest and it needs a small amount of treatment.


Charles MacBranian training

Man of the Week: Physiotherapist Jakob Victorsson

Age: 42
Nationality: Augusticinian
Place of Birth: Los Angeles
Role: Head Physiotherapist
Education: University of Berlin
Teams that he has worked for: Ceylon FC (4 Years), Tokyo FC (5 Years), Hague United (5 Years), Augusticinian National Team
Biography: Jakob Victorsson was born to Volcanologists in Los Angeles. During his teen years he began to take an interest in medicine. His grades were so well that youth clubs began to ask for his help. At the age of 19 he enrolled at the University of Berlin. He became the Physiotherapist for the team and was soon noticed by the Augusticinian Soccer World. He soon joined Ceylon FC. He currently works for Hague United and the Augusticinian National Team. He speaks four different languages fluently and has a minor's degree in Augusticinian Literature.
Pictures:
Jakob Victorsson at Ceylon FC

[Super-Llamaland]

EIRELIAN WAR RAGES ON

Still No Signs of Easing Up in Bloody Conflict

SOLBERG, HELVETICA -- The Federal Republic of Eirelia and the Greater Eyrelian Peace Coalition of Helvetica and Eyrelia have been deadlocked in Lower Schleffen for days, with no sign of an end to the tense stalemate. The line at which Eyrelia finally managed to stop Eirelia's steady advance across the territory happens to run through Solberg, formerly an important industrial center whose streets are now ravaged with shells.

FLULON passed a ban on most types of bombing in 2004, and neither side apparently wants to incur FLULON's wrath for a quick tactical advantage. The Former Llamanean Union League of Nations is currently discussing how to resolve such a conflict, but reports say they are leaning towards a restoration of part of Lower Schleffen to Eirelia and taking the opportunity to redraw a few other regional borders.

The border changes, dubbed the Zimmerman Pact after Llamanean diplomat Carl Zimmerman, will be put to vote next Tuesday if the proposal is finished by then.

So far roughly one thousand have perished in the border skirmishes, with more likely to follow.
---

Strikers Turn Back the Clock, Tigers Beat Nurkama 4-1

TIGERS (5 - 3 - 2): Finch;Meng,Myers-Briggs,Bale,Herleksson,Karnstedt(Carmichael 45);Rainier(Reyshavic 70),Raburn,de Vries;Masters (Magnusson 68),Cartwright

Alex Cartwright and Peter Masters, whose combined age is sixty-seven, each scored a brace last night as the Tigers easily defeated Nurkama.

Carlton Hoover saw an easy opponent and decided to give his starters some rest heading into a crucial three-game stretch in which the Tigers would play group leaders Quebec, fifth-place Timbermunich, and a surging Fallenmark team who lay just two points back of the Tigers.

The game wasn't really ever close - the Tigers, despite not having Anthony Player (who was resting) and Tobias Dickinson (who was coming off an injury but was planned to return to face Quebec), dominated possession early on, the three-man midfield of Kyle Rainier, Jake Raburn, and Michael de Vries looking extremely strong as they pushed forwards. Rainier had the first chance of the game, but his shot - set up nicely by Steven Meng - hit the crossbar and sailed harmlessly out for a goal-kick.

The Tigers' first goal was more of a Nurkaman mistake than anything - the keeper rolled the ball at a defender, but didn't call out the defender's name - the center-back jogged away from the ball as it slowly rolled to a halt, and Peter Masters beat out a horrified defender to put one away. One-nil after eight, then.

The Llamaneans continued to bombard their opponents, with Raburn and Masters both missing chances, before this beauty of a goal from Alex Cartwright -

Here's Tristan Karnstedt, dribbling up the side, floats one over to the left side and it's Kyle Rainier to knock it down, Rainier runs forwards, finds trouble, back to Steven Meng, Meng with a through-ball, and it's Michael de Vries to corral it on the run! He gets by a defender, pulls back, fires - it's off a post, bouncing over and spinning towards the sideline, hauling down the line is Cartwright, he gets his right foot on it, bounces, Cartwright slaps at it with his left and he SCORES THROUGH THE KEEPER'S LEGS! BEAUTIFUL!

Up by two after just twenty-six minutes, Hoover kept pressing, Masters scoring on a nice counterattack.

There's Neil Urkama, he's in dribble, passes back, the shot is off the bar! Sagan Myers-Briggs gets to it first, he's going to pass over to Alex Bale, Bale pushing forwards. Nice long pass, Michael de Vries at it first, sprinting forwards - Nurkama scrambling to stop the counterattack. de Vries passes forwards to Cartwright, Cartwright spins and fires a pinpoint cross and it's Peter Masters to volley it home!

Three-nil they went into the halftime, but three-one Nurkama would make it with a nicely placed tap-in by the striker after a piercing run by their CAM. At least, until one last goal from Cartwright -

Here's Michael de Vries. He's played very well all night, and he gets the throw-in, spins, and passes over to Cartwright on the fringe of the box. Magnusson calling for it, Cartwright delivers, Magnusson taps one back in the six-yard box and Cartwright pounces, his shot is off the crossbar and GOOD! FOUR-ONE!

Hawkeye technology showed that it was indeed a goal.

The Tigers take a solid win into their most challenging game yet, a match against Quebec in their notoriously unfriendly home stadium - one that they're undefeated in so far. Can the Tigers pull off the victory?
[/quote]

[Free Republics]

The flag of the Christian State

Videnhagen, Vermark

A couple dozen Christian State fighters had managed to find their way into Vermark. The orders had come in from the Patriarch of St. Petrus: Blow up some Godless facilities here in the capital of Vermark to warn the people of this nation that the wages of their sins are death. This attack had been planned for a while and Vermark had been hand-picked as one of the nations that would face the Wrath of God's Avengers, the Wrath of the Christian State.

After some reconnaissance work, they decided upon their targets. The first was at the University of Videnhagen, the local university. As it turned out, there was a natural sciences building at the university where they were conducting "research" into evolution. Evolution, of course, is a lie from the pits of Infernus and anybody who tries to falsify reality in order to promote that false and most wicked theory is committing a grievous sin against the Lord. The Christian State had managed to smuggle a half dozen low grade car bombs into Vermark. By lot, they selected the 3 drivers who would have the responsibility of setting off the bombs and the 3 individuals who would ride behind them in a fourth vehicle, to plant the flag of the Christian State for all to see that the bombing was God's Judgment for their sins.

The bombing went exactly according to plan. Soon, the science building was no more. The professors teaching the theory of evolution and other lies would receive a speedy trip to Infernus, along with several classes that were in session at that moment. The flag planters speedily planted a giant Christian State flag outside of the building. Elsewhere, a second group of 6 headed out to the Observatory for the Interconnection of Faiths, a blasphemous building that promoted the "interfaith" heresy. Contrary to the desires of these "modernist" fools for all faiths to be equally true, everybody knew that Iesus Christus and His True Church was the One True Path to Caelum. The Christian State would make them pay as well and they did exactly that, blowing up that building moments later.

Finally, the dozen Christian State fighters who weren't chosen by God to bomb these heathen buildings into the fiery pit of Infernus where they belong grabbed their smuggled firearms and went into one of the busiest sections of town. Pulling out their guns, they started chanting "God Wills It" and opening fire upon everybody who had the misfortune of being on that street at that point in time. They would die for God, in order to carry out His Will by sending the infidels to their eternal torment, and they would be greatly rewarded for that in Caelum.

[HopNation]

Okay, the time has come, no more messing around, I’ve got to do this and we’ve got to do something. After all the Hops are a disappointing mess and there is no way the team should be dropping points to these nobodies. To all Hoptonians, if you haven’t gathered from the signature tag RG I am Ringwald Griffensmith and have been for a long time the sports provider for the Daily Tattler. But some events transpired where I was unable to fulfill the duties of that roll and in respect to my own safety and the safety of many others I had to flee the paper, flee parts of HopNation, and ensure I could not or would not be found until the time was right. The time is now right….

There had been a few missing parts that I had only just recently put together so here you have it the breakdown of HopNation Football.

This all started a number of cycles ago, the team playing well but not dominating nor finishing the group stages with any certainty of ever making the finals. But then all of a sudden the team exploded into the lime light and all seemed hunky dory. I found this extremely odd that our team of average players would all of a sudden start to outperform all those around us, winning some minuscule tournament and then defying all odds and qualifying for the World Cup Proper. I might add, not only did the team qualify for the proper but finished an astounding fourth place. Along the way to this amazing feat I uncovered many oddities in the team’s performance, mannerisms, and well just their overall interaction with anyone other than coaches and players of the squad. There were also a few key people that all of a sudden when missing, take for instance the assistant coach Corey Barden and goalkeeper coach Timothy Mahmonds. Sure they are still listed on the roster, but no one has seen them in ages. They are never at games, practices, or team events; they are the only two on the coaching staff that were not married or in a relationship with anyone so no one has even reported them as missing. I for one was concerned after a period of time went by and I had no updates coming on our goalie situation, I mean we have young great keepers in our lower divisions that aren’t even getting a look while we leave a (to me) 30 year old has been on the 23 man short list and no response from our keeper coach.

When the last cycle came around and we performed well under our form from a cycle prior I got worried and started to look into these oddities of missing coaches, and crap play. At first I couldn’t find anything and anyone I spoke with that was remotely close in nature to the team or the National program in general would not give me answers. When asked outright about the missing or appearent absence of some coaching members they simply said they were on holiday. Then out of nowhere I found something, something extremely nerve shattering and it came from the National Defense Department. It was a letter addressed to me directly and was from a woman using only her first name, a Gertrude. The letter was baffling to say the least, she simply directed me to stop all inquiries into the HopNation National Team and that she would send someone to pick me up in three days’ time, and then everything would be explained to me. I didn’t know what to do or what to make of this letter, it somewhat dumfounded me. I was not worried at this time and felt like I was going to get some answers.

When the three days were up an all-black sedan pulled into my driveway and the back door opened but no one got out. I fully expected someone to come to the door and get me or at least ring the phone or honk or something to make sure I was here; but nothing. After a few minutes I couldn’t take it and my own curiosity got the best of me, I walked out to the car and tried to peer in the front windows as I walked back to the open door but could not see through the extremely tinted windows. I moved around to the open door to look in. No one in the back either, then I was shoved from behind into the car and the door slammed shut. But how could this been I never took my eyes off the car the entire time it had been in the driveway. I also never heard another door open or close after the one I was shoved through slammed shut, so I was extremely worried at this point. The car started to move, slowly at first as it moved back out of the drive and then pulled forward away from my home. The next thing I knew the car felt like it accelerated absurdly fast as I was thrown back into the seat, it also felt like the car lifted off the ground but since I could not see out I did not know for sure. Than as the car seemingly tilted to turn a haze filled the back area of the car and things got very fuzzy, the next thing I knew I was in a white room with extremely bright lights shining on my face. I could hear someone in the room with me but could not see anyone due to the lights. Then a voice spoke, a woman’s voice, and she said that everything is going to be okay and the lights along with the restraints are simply a precaution so I didn’t do anything harmful to myself as the drug wears off. Slowly the lights dimmed to where I could see and sitting in front of me was a very attractive looking woman. She said her name was Gertrude and that she was here to answer my questions about the team.

At first I couldn’t contain myself and blurted out anything that came to mind that I had wanted to know, but I soon realized I was going too fast and I had nothing to write with. I stopped abruptly and Gertrude asked if something was wrong, I said yes and explained that I needed something to write with and that I wasn’t allowing her time to respond. She told me writing would be unnecessary and that I would receive a full transcript and video of our conversation once I was allowed to leave. So I continued, this time allowing her to respond to each question before moving on. Once I was done with my questions she told me that the transcript would end here along with the video and that anything I heard or saw from that point on would be strictly for my ears and eyes only. I was not to distribute anything once I left and if I did grave consequences would come my way.

Once I agreed she led me out of the room and down a series of corridors, then into a large room where the team was. Or at least I thought they were the team, they looked just like them. We walked over to the players where were actually, now that I think of it, standing in capsules with their eyes closed. She informed me that these players or rather things were specially designed robot warriors for the HopNation military. She informed me that these were clone like robots and are actually being used to develop an advanced military unit but that they needed to be tested first in an extreme environment. She continued that the Beltane Cup and the World Cup 70 cycle were perfect opportunities for us to test these units to their full potential of performance and ability to understand and respond to orders. She thought it was okay for the players to exploit the Beltane Cup by winning it with these clones, but felt it would have been in bad task to allow them to control the entire World Cup. So they instructed the team to play poorly in the semi-final and the third place playoff as the rest of the world was starting to get suspicious of our so called Cinderella story up to that point. Then the following cup the original squad was brought back from their cryogenic sleep and placed back into action for World Cup 71 and now 72. They are a bit rusty she explained from sleeping for so long but to not worry as they will come back to full form, although they are just unsure of how long it will take.

This all brings us to now, the moment before us and my willingness to finally break my silence no matter the costs to me. But please know I have done everything during my extended hiding to help ensure that nothing will be done to me. I’m not sure if I will ever reveal where I am, but that at this point is irrelevant to everything going on. So, Hoptonians, there you have it the full reason why our team is playing somewhat poorly is that they are recovering from a cryogenic sleep induced by our nation’s defense department in order for them to build an elite clone army. I do not know the extent of their research or what they plan to do with the clone army but now that this has been revealed you can all stop living on such a high hope of our Hops making the playoffs any time soon. Sure they have the talent to do it but for goodness sake they are still recovering from whatever the cryogenic affects are.

Good luck to them in their future matches this cycle and here’s to hoping they make it back to form sooner than later.

By the way the team has dropped a few games to minnows and is clearly out of place in this group, I’ll cover their action again soon.
RG

[Apox]

Jon Quillisi's Sports Column

Two more matches down for the national side, and four points from them, certainly not a terrible haul. We're still second in the group, and, barring a major collapse, the play-off spot will be ours, with the top spot and progression from the group certainly not out of reach yet.

In the first match of the second half of qualifiers, we faced Taeshan, a relatively tricky opponent, and what was likely going to be a low scoring game, with the 9 games Taeshan have played thus far resulting in just 5 goals at either end of the pitch. Our defence held firm throughout, Solomon Etezadi and Nicolas St Teath becoming a solid wall at the back of the pitch, with Alan Eustathios being similarly impenetrable.

However, our players were unable to find a way through, even with Luxulya St. Cleer being subbed off for the mercurial Wilfried Lidgley, adding an altogether more attacking feel to the game. Even the introduction of the superstar Tolgus Tregajorran in the 75th minute failed to change the flow of the game. In the end, 0-0 was a slightly disappointing result to us, but certainly one we could live with.

The next game, against Arabnesia, had no such trouble in regards to goals being scored. Gavin Hughes put out a heavily rotated team, and, even so rotated, Arabnesia were no match for them, Corinna McKenna and Erik Abbracciabene scoring early on in the game, before an Arabnesia goal just before half time. The second half was played in a similar fashion, Apoxian players peppering the Arabnesian goal with shots, before a second McKenna goal and a late Kaj Aurora goal saw that the game was won.

These results see the national team take 20 points from a potential 27 at this stage of the competition. Turori sit above us on 23 points, and we've still got to play them at home this campaign (in two games time), so a win there would make things very interesting indeed. As I stated earlier, Taeshan are in third place, but they sit a whole 7 points behind us, with the rest of Group 16 seeming content to take points of each other, not really offering any other contenders to either Turori or us for the top two spots in the group. Anyhow, 5 games left to go, and the team's aim will be of course to win all 5. 35 points would easily see us through the group in second, and perhaps even first place. Only time will tell.

[Albaie]

The cameras lights flashed bright as the while well known frame of Arthur Sportern, sat at the IAFA press conference he sat in the middle rather than the end. The familiar press table emblazoned with sigils of the IAFA, the Imperium, House Deberen and House Sportern now only had two members rather than the three it usually housed. This was Sportern's first press conference as interim national manager and came after the 0-0 draw against Gloriax a result that showed maybe times where changing after the hammering Gloriax had given them earlier on in qualification. Sportern while immensely proud to be now a member of the hallowed order of Albaie international managers even if he was just temporary but he felt sad for the manner in which he had come into the job and had even up to the minute before his appointment been wishing his old team mate's son every success. Arthur had known there was a problem with Mark ever since he had seen him look so terrified at the presentation of the Emperor's Shield to the victorious Dubrack's Town Celtic. Arthur had fought alongside Mark in half a dozen battles and this was the worst he had ever seen him. Arthur should have stepped in then but he had been swept up with the World Cup qualification preparations and now even that had been ruined by his inaction.

" Alright then welcome gentlemen and ladies. Lord Mercer and I will be taking questions about the Gloriax game primarily but a few others are allowed. Now who would like to start ? " Sportern began the press conference, his upper class accent failing to convey the tension he felt if certain questions were asked. Sportern began by pointing at Robert Clive, a reporter with Dubrack's Town Herald so on the Emperor's pay roll and more than likely to be under orders not to trouble Sportern.
" Robert Clive, Dubrack's Town Herald. What are your feelings on the draw my Lord ? " The reporter asked and Sportern allowed himself a smile at the relatively easy question.
" Well to start with i'm happy with the team's improvement from the last game that was a tough result to take and it shows that we can and should be competing with the top dogs of this group. " Sportern began becoming more confident as he got into his stride and he relaxed. " In my opinion it was a good performance, very strong in the back four but a bit lacking upfront but me and Lord Mercer will be working on that in training to prepare for the next game. Next question. " Sporten finished before pointing to a rather attractive woman near the back of the room.
" Lucia Scott, Ruten Times. In your opinion do you believe that the Albaie attack is not performing up to standards. " The attractive woman replied and Arthur thanked The Lord as he had been asked this edits the conference when he had been practicing with Mercer.
" Thank you Lucia and while I will say that our lack of goals may show an underperformance from the attack and in fact that is what it shows. We have been trying some new things in training and hopefully they will soon become apparent on the pitch " Sportern replied with a smile hoping all the questions would be this easy. " Next. " Arthur then added having almost forgot to ask for the next question and pointed towards a bearded chap sat near the middle of the hall who he had never seen before.
" Alan Fitzgerald, Longharbour Report. " The reporter began and instantly Arthur regretted his decision remembering that Longharbour was where his old team mate had his lands. " How do you feel about your recent appointment to national manager ? " The man asked and Arthur began to panic.
" Well ehm I am ... " Arthur began mincing his words and trying hard to string a sentence together. " I am proud to have been chosen and happy to be of service to the Imperium as interim manager of the national team. " Arthur finally managed to say and hoped the man would give up but he raised his hand again. " Yes you may have another question. " Arthur said feeling a prick of perspiration on his skin.
" This one is for Lord Mercer. " The man began. " How do you feel about Lord Deberen going on sabbatical ? " The man asked and Arthur turned to his assistant eyes wide with terror.
" While I regret the temporary loss of not only a great colleague but a great friend, I am delighted to finally have the chance to work with a man that I not only loved as a player but also respect as a man and am looking forward to the chance to work with such a man. " Edward Mercer replied turning to smile at Arthur, the smile diffusing some of his fear.
" Thank you Mercer. " Arthur said genuinly meaning it before turning to point at a fellow near the back that he only realised looked shifty after he had already said " Next. "
" Alex Smyth, Albaie Football Press. Can I inquire why Lord Deberen has gone on sabbatical, we seem to not have received any information on the details of the reason behind his holiday ? " The man asked and Arthur felt a sinking feeling knowing he was under pain of imprisonment if he gave any of the details away under order of the Emperor himself.
" Well uh ... ehm ... I " Arthur started unable to think of what response to give without mentioning any of the real reasons.
" I will take this question if you don't mind Your Eminence. " Mercer cut in to which Arthur nodded his approval. " Mark has decided that at least for the time being to look after his mother and to spend time with his father during his absence and with both his brothers also employed, he has decided to give up his own career temporarily but will be returning eventually when he feels the time is right. " Mercer finished off the question Arthur obviously was meant to answer.
" That will be the end of the press conference. " Arthur announced standing up from the table to be greeted by flashes from the cameras and shouts from the reporter. Arthur knew he had not given the most convincing of conferences but he hoped it had been good enough.

[Semarland]

A HISTORY OF THE PREMARLIGAEN
Celebrating 30 years of Semarland’s best football league

Part One

Part Three

PRE-SEASON – SEMARLAND AT THE SHN CUP
Following the trials as mentioned in Part One, the Semar national team set out to Brasiliania to compete in the first SHN Cup. Semarland, Dutch Semarland, Matykland, Mrevland, Centramerica, Iberian Republic and African Republic alongside the hosts would compete against each other. Semarland were drawn in Group A, alongside the hosts Brasiliania, Centramerica and Iberian Republic.

MATCHDAY ONE Semarland 3-0 Iberian Republic
Karl Nobsen became the first ever person to score for the Semar national team when he headed home Johan Flemmensen’s corner on 7 minutes. Flemmensen doubled the lead on 19 minutes and with Nicolas Jonsson adding the third on 83 minutes, it became an easy three points for the Semars.

MATCHDAY TWO Semarland 0-1 Brasiliania
The hosts won 1-0 thanks to a 39th minute penalty from Rubinho after Karl Nobsen felled Hernandinho in the box. Simon Lovenkrands, Johan Flemmensen and Soren Hammerstad all had chances to score but goalkeeper Carlos Alves saved every shot on target.

MATCHDAY THREE Semarland 2-1 Centramerica
Two goals from Soren Hammarstad in the 29th and 35th minutes sent Semarland through to the semi-finals. There was a scare when Ricardo Palacios converted from the penalty spot in the 70th minute after an alleged handball by Patrcik den Karl.

SEMI-FINAL Semarland 2-0 Matykland
It was an easy 2-0 win as goals from Hammarstad and Flemmensen booked Semarland’s place in the final against Mrevland who defeated the hosts Brasiliania 1-0 thanks to Johan Moen’s 79th minute header.

FINAL Semarland 1-1 Mrevland (AET) (5-3 pens)
Semarland endured their first ever penalty shootout and their first ever trophy in football. Jean-Carl Cimans put the Mrevish ahead on 15 minutes with a lovely strike but Martin Wells popped up on 84 minutes for the equaliser. Karl Nobsen, Andreas Pedersen, Martin Wells, Soren Hammerstad and Nicolas Jonsson all converted their penalties with the latter winning the trophy for Semarland.

GOAL ROUNDUP
3 – Soren Hammerstad
2 – Johan Flemmensen
1 – Karl Nobsen
1 – Nicolas Jonsson
1 – Martin Wells

---

PREVIEW – 1989/90 SEASON
AERLO CLUB:
Manager: Rikke Rommedahl
Captain: Thomas Jonsson, MC
Star player: Frans Jaarvik, DMC
Ground: Simonsen Park, 17,000
Sponsor: Thommasen (Accountants)

EIKBORG CLUB:
Manager: Peter Jorvik
Captain: Jan Karl, DL
Star player: Peder Fjorsvik, ST
Ground: Pilkeborg Street, 21,000
Sponsor: Karlsmarket (Local supermarket)

FC JANSBERG:
Manager: Christian den Korrest
Captain: Karl Nobsen, DC
Star player: Daniel Heilik, ST
Ground: Stadion Jansberg, 27,000
Sponsor: Trindl (National supermarket)

FC KOLBERG:
Manager: Maarten Isle
Captain: Peder Kuhl, DMC
Star player: Simon Lovenkrands, MR
Ground: Skorelevelet, 27,000
Sponsor: Petersberg & Ramshalle (Solicitors)

FC NJILKAER:
Manager: Klaus Eriksen
Captain: Nicolas Jonsson, MC
Star player: Nicolas Jonsson, MC
Ground: Njilkaer Park, 18,000
Sponsor: Freilik (Delivery firm)

KRSTHAVEN:
Manager: Martin Larsen
Captain: Soren Jakobsburg, ST
Star player: Frans Idrisse, AMC
Ground: Stadion Metner, 25,000
Sponsor: Thomsen & Jonasen (Accoutants)

MOLSBIK ARKJET:
Manager: Soren Edgarsson-Mikkelsburg
Captain: Claes Sorensson, DL
Star player: Jon Erik Kuhlsburg, DC
Ground: Arkjetstadion, 30,000
Sponsor: Arkjet (International travel company)

YEYJKYAVIK
Manager: Claes Luune
Captain: Erik Cortensen, MR
Star player: Thorsten Hreidvik, ST
Ground: Clemensen Road, 19,000
Sponsor: Yeyjkyavik Post (City newspaper)

SEASON TWO – 1989/90
THE FIRST MATCHDAY
FC Njilkaer 1–1 FC Kolberg
Eikborg Club 3–2 Yeyjkyavik
Molsbik Arkjet 1–3 Krsthaven
FC Jansberg 6–2 Aerlo Sport
FC Njilkaer and FC Kolberg were held to a 1-1 draw after a goal and an own goal from Kolberg’s Christian Hansvik, whilst Soren Hammerstad netted a hat-trick against Aerlo Sport. Last season’s champions Krsthaven beat last season’s bottom side Molsbik Arkjet 3-1, with goals from Martin Karlhadt, Mikke Muller and Johan Flemmensen.

THE FINAL TABLE

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 FC Jansberg            28   20   4   4    57   25  +32    64
2 FC Kolberg             28   18   3   7    45   30  +15    57
3 Krsthaven              28   16   2  10    54   38  +16    50
4 Eikborg Club           28   12   9   7    36   24  +12    45
5 FC Njilkaer            28   13   4  11    53   51   +2    43
6 Yeyjkyavik             28    6   6  16    36   49  −13    24
7 Molsbik Arkjet         28    5   4  19    30   60  −30    19
8 Aerlo Sport            28    3   6  19    30   64  −34    15

FC Jansberg win it for the first time, propelled by the goals of Soren Hammerstad, Daniel Heilik who returned from injury and new signing Soren Jakobsburg. Andreas Pedersen was influential as captain in the central of midfield. Last season’s champions Krsthaven finish third, marred by the loss of Jakobsburg and FC Kolbergg finish runners up, with young striker Jorgen Kurler finishing the season with 17 goals. Aerlo Sport finish bottom and Molsbik Arkjet don’t do so bad after finishing 7th.

GOAL OF THE SEASON: Jens Luune (Yeyjkyavik) v Eikborg Club
An absolute roarer of a volley as Luune controls the ball with a deft touch before flicking it up and firing home from 30 yards.

TEAM OF THE SEASON:

---

GK – Jonathan Larsen – Krsthaven – Age 28
GK – Johan Klemmensen – FC Kolberg – Age 25
GK – Filip Kristensen – FC Jansberg – Age 32
DL – Jan Karl – Eikborg Club – Age 31
DL – Patrick Larstad – FC Jansberg – Age 23
DC – Karl Nobsen – FC Jansberg – Age 26
DC – Jan Erevik – Krsthaven – Age 34
DC – Mikkel Krohn – FC Kolberg – Age 28
DR – Thor Hammerstad – FC Kolberg – Age 24
DR – Patrick den Karl – Yeyjkyavik – Age 30
DMC – Nicolas Jonsson – FC Njilkaer – Age 24
ML – Runar Fransson – Eikborg Club – Age 23
ML – Carl Nelsen – FC Jansberg – Age 25
MC – Andreas Pedersen – FC Jansberg – Age 25
MC – Soren Sykjar – FC Jansberg – Age 27
MR – Simon Lovenkrands – FC Kolberg – Age 30
MR – Jens Luune – Yeyjkyavik – Age 24
AMC – Frans Idrisse – Krsthaven – Age 26
ST – Soren Hammarstad – FC Jansberg – Age 24
ST – Soren Jakobsburg – FC Jansberg – Age 29
ST – Johan Flemmensen – Krsthaven – Age 24
ST – Martin Wells – Eikborg Club – Age 30

---

Semarland 4-2 St Saratoga
Simeone 18’, Lindesfarne 30’, Lygaard 52’, Malsen 74’
SEMARLAND: Kojo Boakye-Yiadom, Matur Eiriksson (Rasmus Norregaard 65), Jakob Lunds, Eirik Malsen, Knut Sakho, Inzazi Dvulu, Demba Cisse, Yacouba Sakho, Tipio Runen (Diego Snow 81), Yannick Simeone (Marc Lygaard HT), Jakob Lindesfarne

[Bears Armed]

(Previously…)

The scene: a conference-room within the Confederal Police HQ at Council Groves.
The time: shortly before noon, on the day immediately after the Bear-Belles’ second qualifying match against Krytenia.

People present:
Jharrge Gentt’hlee, Detective Chief Superintendent, head of the Criminal Investigations Division for this part of the country.
Inspector Gorse, Detective Chief Inspector, who has a good reputation for solving murder cases.
Morross o Bardenn, Inspector, responsible for uniformed police patrols in the area including Plumtrees Park.
Birrian o RedRose, a senior official from the ‘Hall of The Strangers’ (i.e. the ‘Foreign Ministry’)
Karra True, a shabear from the Great Medicine Society, currently attached to this department as an ‘Arcanist’ (i.e. specialist in dealing with any supernatural aspects of their cases)
Merrina Grey, a Press Officer.

_______________________________________________________

Gorse, the last of those people to arrive, takes his seat as a uniformed constable who’d checked his ID when he entered the room walks out and shuts the door behind him.

(Gent’hlee) “Hrright, we’re all here. Apologies about calling you back from Bullford*, Gorse, but we’ve got hwhat could be a hrrather tricky case on our forepaws and I’ve been asked” — here he pointed a finger briefly at o RedRose, indicating the person through whom that request had been delivered — “to put you in night-to-night charge of it although I’ll keeping my nose on the matter meself as well.
“Hokay, folks, all of you except Gorse already know the basic story, and the folders on the table in front of you contain details of hwhat else we’ve managed to find out about this business so far, but I’ll ask Morross, Hrrin** o RedRose, and True of the Wise, to summarise matters from their own sections’ viewpoints anyhows now not just for Gorse’s sake but to make sure that we’re all ‘singing from the same humm-sheet’ as the saying goes.
Morross?”

(Morross) “Ayyuh.
“Verry shortly after sunrise yesterday, when Constable Warr’hryth Redsmith was proceeding through Plumtree Park on his rounds, he observed that part of the fence around that closed-off area next to the lake had been knocked down. Checking in case of vandalism, he discovered a nearly-dead fire — hwhich had somehow escaped everybody’s attention hwhile it was actually burning — with the remains of acompletely dead Human on top of it. Constable Redsmith and correctly called for his sergeant, Varra o Barrdenn, and remained on guard outside that opening in the fence — directing the few onlookers who enquired (several hog-walkers, two courting couples, and a bird-watcher) politely away without letting them gaze inside. Sergeant o Barrdenn confirmed that this was a case needing investigation, and sent Redsmith to summon further assistance from their home station and to notify urrs here at headquarters while she continued to keep the site secure.
“I personally led the reinforcements who went to the site in response to that call. We set up a temporary fence of ourr own around a larger area enclosing the actual location of the incident, gathered the names and addresses of all bystanders present in case any of them might have useful information to impart upon further questioning, and sent the appropriate specialists — including True of the Wise, because that fire-site was surrounded by markings of a decidedly ‘occult’ appearance — in to gather hwhat further information they could and retrieve the body. The victim is confirmed to have been Human and male, and if a set of recently-discarded clothes that were found under a bush within that enclosure were his then the contents of their pockets suggested that he might be a Krytenian hrrather than one of ourr own people. I accordingly notified this office’s HotS liaison officer of that possibility. ”

(o Redrose) “And we already have confirmation of that fact, along with an actual identification. Hwhen your people checked recent ‘Missing Persons’ rreports for anybody who might fit the rather limited description that could be produced from such short study of such a seriously-burnt corpse, they found one for a Krytenian male which had only just been filed earlier on that same morning.”

(Gorse) “A bit quick to file that report, and rrather early for urrs to formally accept unless the victim had already been missing for a few days before he was killed, wouldn’t that be? Do we know hwhether he had actually been missing for a hwhwile beforepaw, so that it would be worth looking for hwherever he was kept during the intervening period?”

(Gent’hlee) “It’s in the file, Gorse.
“He’d only gone missing on the previous day, his wife rrealised that something might be wrong hwhen she woke up and found that he still hadn’t come to bed… and the rreport was accepted because the wife pulled some strings through our PR people: This Mrs Samantha Crawford is the chief press relations officer for the Krytenian Football Association, and apparently has LOTS of contacts in the international press. Anyhows, she was able to give us descriptive details — including the locations of some healed breaks in bones — that confirmed the victim to be her husband Michael. Bearing in mind the sensitivity of the case, I got in touch promptly with Hrrin o RedRose’s office…”


__________________________________________________________________

OOC

* Bullford is, as has already been established in earlier RP [and map-making] by me, a town situated quite some distance downriver [west] from Council Groves that is the location for one of this nation’s oldest & most prestigious universities.
** “Hrrin” is a general term of address, sometimes translated into English as “Mister” but really — unless it’s clearly being used sarcastically, which isn’t the case here — denoting a rather higher level of respect than that.

My use of a Krytenian as the victim in this incident was cleared with Krytenia's player, by TG, beforepaw.

[Greater Watford]

Challenge League: Chiswell Green FC

Rising up the leagues, we go to Level 2 of the pyramid, the Challenge League. Originally the GWNFA Challenge League in the days before the Republic of Greater Watford, it was named National Division 1at the start of the GWFA era, before the name of the Challenge League was adopted again. The Challenge League is known for being fiercely competitive, with 2 promotion spots, 4 playoff promotion spots for the 3rd Super League promotion spot and now 4 relegation spots to the Western/Eastern League. Today I explore the Challenge League in the city of Chiswell Green.

Chiswell Green FC finished the inaugural season of the GWFA Super League in 1AU in 3rd place, beating Watford FC, one of the Big 3. Then, in Season 2, they suffered a surprise relegation, which resulted in an exodus of top players. Promotion in Season 3 then saw immediate relegation, and The Green have been in the Challenge League ever since. For Chiswell Green FC, the struggle for a Super League place, is one that makes the league so exciting for the outsiders, but for those inside, it’s tough.

Arriving at the stadium it’s clear Chiswell Green FC have Super League standard facilities. A capacity of 20’000, a 4 sided stadium with seated corners, an intimidating place for any outsiders. As I arrived, I saw the groundsman at work, carefully checking the pitch, looking for any rough patches that could affect gameplay. I was here to meet chairman Timothy Smith, who was in one of the executive boxes overlooking the pitch in the West Stand.

Timothy Smith has owned the club for over 15 years now, and had first-hand experience of the highs and lows. He tells me how tough it can be to face relegation. “When we were relegated, on Monday morning I already had 5 player’s agents message me saying that they were looking for Super League clubs for their players. It was ridiculous. I had no idea who would remain, what money I’d have, relegation is chaotic”. I pressed further on what promotion did for the side “We signed some players on free-contracts, a few youth players and a couple of backup Super League players, but then some of them wanted out after our second relegation”. Unlike other leagues, the Super League promotion and relegation is the biggest of them all, in terms of finances. The ICTV Sports deal that the Super League has can give promoted sides a huge windfall.

So, do clubs spend extra to try and go up? Timothy Smith thought that would work “We tried it in 6AU, and quickly found the numbers were going red. It took a lot of scaling back to realise what level we were at now. You can’t spend like a Super League team and wait for the cash to come in”. Indeed, the story of Garston Rangers FC is treated as a cautionary tale by many around here. In terms of finances, weekly wages can vary from £2’000 up to £10’000 for the very top Challenge League players, and clubs will routinely spend millions on wages each year alone.

That seems a lot, but in a 20’000 seater stadium, £20 a ticket gets you £400’000 per matchday, so 15 home matchdays gets the club £6’000’000. Season tickets, special offers and matchday staffing fees reduce those figures, but it’s not as the team lacks financial income. At this level, corporate sponsorship is also bigger.

So what is the League like for those on the pitch. Chad Cardinal, 34, joined me in the executive box. Chad Cardinal was a former attacker for Watford FC, having played alongside big names such as Ylvin Serven, Lorenzo Lanzo and national team captain Mario Mannetti. After leaving the Hornets, he went to Sporting Tudor for 2 years, before moving to Chiswell Green. I ask him about the gameplay at this level. “It’s a physical league, in the Super League you’d look for a lot of technical ability, here strength and aggression pays off.” He says there are some benefits “As an attacker, you get more opportunities, and that means more chances at scoring. Yes, we don’t have the pinpoint accuracy of Super League strikers, but we can still finish well”. At 34, Chad Cardinal is certainly a veteran of the game, so I ask him about his future plans. “I’ve not considered them too much, hopefully I’ve got some years left here at Chiswell Green. Maybe I could drop down a level, but I don’t think I want to go straight into coaching or management after retiring, I’d like some time out just to relax.”

So there is the Challenge League, a fiercely competitive league, where if you’re not in a promotion battle you’re probably in a relegation battle. There’s all to play for, and for the most successful sides, the holy grail of the Super League awaits. Next time, I’ll be finishing off my review of the Leagues in that holy land, the Super League. I hope you’ll continue reading on.

Robert Rainshaw

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

OOC - see the Holy Empire roster for a detailed explanation of what's going on here.


World Cup 72
An oratorio by Jorge Handeles

ACT 3, SCENE 2
(San Llera in the Camp a L'aigua)

Aria - 'And Now Our Team Desports Anew'
(Andres Daphopates as Juan Tzimisces)

And now our team desports anew
In these second set of qualifiers

Anew, anew, an-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew
And now our team desports anew
Anew, anew, an-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew


Recitative - 'Nothing Shall We Take For Granted'
(Isaac Gemisto as Simeone di Bradini)

Nothing shall we take for granted
In the second half of qualification
Only by goal difference do we lead Sargossa
And we shall have to fight for every point


Aria - 'Let Them Match Their Strength Against Us'
(Isaac Gemisto as Simeone di Bradini)

Let them match their strength against us
The other teams in Group 14

We shall smite all of their goalkeepers
With fearsome shots most strong

We shall gave them hailstones for rain
fire mingled with the hail ran along upon the ground.

We shall send a thick darkness over the land,
Even darkness which might be felt.

Let them match their strength against us
The other teams in Group 14


Chorus - 'We Liveth By the Sword and So We Dieth By the Sword'

We liveth by the sword and so we dieth by the sword
Defence means nothing to us, if we can scoreth goals
If we concedeth two, then we shall scoreth four
If we concedeth three, then we shall scoreth six


Chorus - 'Sing Ye Now of Triumph'
Sing ye now of trumph
For we hath triumphed glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ori'sly
The swagfish we have cast into the water
The water of the Camp a L'aigua

Sing ye now of trumph
For we hath triumphed glori'sly


Duet - 'Many Are Our Goals This Day'
(Maria Chrysoberges & Zoe Dalasseno)

Many are our goals this day
As we have both scored three
Three! Three!
We have both scored three

A hattrick each hath we surely scored
And curiously so hath Mestre
All the players that scored today
Hath surely scor-ed three.

Three! Three!
We three hath all scored three!


----------------------------------------------------------------------


ACT 3, SCENE 3
(Viktoria away)


Recitative - 'News Most Wond'rous Hath Reached Us'
(Miguel Lebournes)

News most wond'rous hath reached us
From the United North States
Sargossa - our nearest rivals in the group -
Hath lost two - one!


Aria - 'Let Us Seize This Opportunity'
(Miguel Lebournes)

Let us seize this opportunity
To consolidate first place
Co-o-o-o-nso-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-lida-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ate
Consolidate first place

The day is ours to seize
To consolidate first place
Co-o-o-o-nso-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-lida-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ate
Consolidate first place


Chorus - 'And So We Said'

And so we said, and so we said
And so we said, and so we said
Said, said, said, said, said
Said to our opponents

We will pursue,
We shall overtake,
We shall divide the spoil
Our lust shall be satisfied upon Viktoria
We shall shoot for goal,

Our feet shall destroy them!

And so we said, and so we said
And so we said, and so we said
Said, said, said, said, said
Said to our opponents


Recitative - 'I Hath Seen Earl Far Off His Line'
(John Balsamono)

I hath seen Earl far off his line
And so shall speculatively punt the ball upfield
From my own goal area.


Aria - 'Wondergoal!'
(Andres Daphopates as Juan Tzimisces)

Wondergoal!
Marvellous!
Spectacular!
A knock-out blow!

Our keeper hath scored from deep within his half
With an astonishing speculative punt!

Wondergoal!
Marvellous!
Spectacular!
A knock-out blow!

Wondergoal!
Marvellous!
Spectacular!
A knock-out blow!


Chorus - 'Brave Are Our Opponents'

Brave are our opponents
This brave team from Viktoria.
Brave! Brave!
Bra-a-a-a-ave.

Bra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ave
Bra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ave
Brave! Brave!
Bra-a-a-a-ave.

Nonetheless they are outmatched
And surely do succumb
To Balsamono's wondergoal
And another from Lascaro

Brave are our opponents
This brave team from Viktoria.
Brave! Brave!
Bra-a-a-a-ave.

Bra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ave
Bra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ave
Brave! Brave!
Bra-a-a-a-ave.

[Walkany]

"Dean... That may be the last straw for me," Fargo muttered as the post match news report started.

"I hear ya'," Dean said back. "That was the worst game for us so far. Even with the home advantage, we sill got our butts whooped. Great for us to score, but..."

"Dean?"

"Yes?"

"Let's move on to tomorrow's match. Do you think we'll do well?"

"Well, Fargo, if we play against San Jose like we did last time, we'll probably lose. We are a first half team with those wild cards at the end. I just don't understand why we can't compete in the second half. If we don't, we will always lose. Now, we talked about San Jose's best players last time. Let's talk about their games so far."

"Six wins, one draw, two losses I believe."

"And twenty-seven goals with only sixteen against, at second place. They are rocking this boat. Expect them to tip it over when we play them next week. When you defeat Abanhfleft six to four when they just beat us so badly, you know it will be especially tough. They even beat Ko-oren back in match day six one to zip. How can Burnie O'nielle possibly think he can stand up to this kind of power?"

"Ha! He doesn't! I think he thinks that he knows, but he is mistaken. If we are to improve, we must begin winning games against teams like San Jose. It's that simple. I applaud him for using Lucas Shawn and Gourde last game, though it still did not help much. We might never beat San Jose who very quickly are becoming our rivals."

"O'nielle better think of something and fast or we'll be unimproving."

"True that! Alright, folks, that's the show. We may not even bother doing it anymore because of this crap going on. It is draining our life power! Someone please step into O'nielle's spot!"

Dean sighed heavily, "G'night, folks."

[Polkopia]

A Piece Of Polkopian History
#9: The Foundation Of The Modern Polkopian Anthem
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Historians tend to dispute when the tune of the modern Polkopian anthem was written and composed by Martin Dzakin. Some believe that it was after the Polkopian victory in the Swedish-Polkopian war in the year 1789, whereas others believe that he wrote in in the early 1800's in order to motivate Polkopian troops to fight against Napoleon's mighty army which was storming across Europe at the time.

Be that as it may, it was officially adopted as the National Anthem of Polkopia in 1849. Though the anthem has never historically had any official lyrics to the tune, although many citizens, especially in modern times, have tried to appeal to the government to instill lyrics to the tune, however none have been successful and to this day, the Polkopian anthem remains without lyrics.

Since the independence of Polkopia from the USSR, the Polkopian anthem has been played at noon every day from speakers dotted around some of Polkopia's major cities. Citizens who are caught walking outside during this time are expected to face towards the Varsha or capital building, located in every city as a hub for the state's legislative functions, where the Polkopian flag is raised on an enormous flagpole, in plain view for the majority of the city to see. Saluting the Polkopian flag is done so by placing one's right hand over their heart and balling up into a fist, while their left hand is flat against their lower back. Citizens are expected to stay in this position until the anthem is finished.

Apart from that, the anthem has played an important part in Polkopia's day-to-day lifestyle. In every parade, military march, sporting event, or celebration of any sort, the Polkopian anthem is blared on nearby speakers, and the citizens of Polkopia salute the flag with pride.

The tune for the Polkopian anthem can be found here: Anthem (Instrumental)

---

Snovski Choke In Game 10
By: Sebastian Aliyev

Well we're all a bit disappointed after the last game, but let's try and analyze what really went wrong here. Was it Stenin's decision to not play Immanuil Serevo, cutting the Polkopian attack? Was it overconfidence? Or did the team just look tired and lackluster, and not really have the desire to win? Personally, I think it might have been a mixture of these three factors.

I was as surprised as anyone when I saw that Artur Yeminov, a rookie playing for Polkopian club FC Baravia who has never started in an international match, was on the starting XI over Immanuil Serevo. I suppose Stenin might have been going for a more midfield-based style, but obviously it didn't work. Many Polkopian fans showed their disapproval on various social media sites about Stenin's decision, however these comments did nothing to change Stenin's mind, and Yeminov was out on the pitch while Serevo sat on the bench.

The first goal of the day came from the away side. Some very poor passing between Nikolai Aksenov and Fedot Belov led to the forward of the away side intercepting the ball and charging through the gap between the defenders, allowing for an easy shot on target. In the 16th minute, he put this away, giving Starblaydia the lead at 0-1. Many fans, myself included, groaned at this moment. Most of us weren't even mad, but we knew that if we were going to keep playing like this, it'd be a long game ahead of us.

After this, the Snovski seemed to play extremely slow. I'm talking almost walking up the lengths of the pitch, providing passes which were incredibly uncreative, allowing for easy intercepts from the opposition. This is where I actually got mad the most. The team seemed incredibly lazy and just boring to watch. It was an insult to everything the team has accomplished this far together and to just throw it away like this? There's absolutely no excuse for that, none at all. In fact, in the 39th minute, Starblaydia took advantage of this, and managed a breakthrough on goal after a nice lob pass from the midfield found its way to the striker just as he managed to pass the defense line. Personally, I think it was offsides, and I still do, but the linesman didn't call it, and this gave Starblaydia another chance on goal, which the striker managed to convery, giving the away team a second goal.

I could use plenty of words to describe the Snovski during the first half, but I think the word that'd be best to describe it would just be "Sad". The team had absolutely no drive to win, and by halftime, it showed. Polkopia was trailing 0-2 on home soil to a team they had already beaten on the road! I know many were expecting Polkopia to lose by even more, following the second half, but Stenin made all three of his allowed substitutions at halftime; Erast Vinogradov for Boris Polgov, Kazbek Gairbekov for Roman Maldov, and wow, surprise surprise, Immanuil Serevo for Artur Yeminov.

In the opening minutes of the second half, this was a completely different team showing. The team played like we were all used to seeing, with nice, fast paced passing between the midfielders, allowing for some nice chances on a few occasions, but none made it past the keeper. That is, until Immanuil Serevo blasted a shot from just outside the goalie box at the edge of the goal. The keeper managed to somehow block it, but it was probably the best shot of the night, so I had to give it some recognition. Plus, this also led to a corner kick, which Kantrisov took, and Gairbekov managed to head it in the back of the net, giving Polkopia its first goal of the night at the 61st minute.

The rest of the game was very back and forth, but Polkopia couldn't squeeze in another goal by the time the final whistle blew, and Polkopia faced their third loss in this tournament so far, a humiliating 1-2 loss. Several boos and jeers from the fans at the stadium ensued after the final whistle, and the Snovski hung their heads low as they exited the pitch.

The only good thing about this matchday is that Polkopia only trail first place by three points, after Gregoryisgodistan and Farfadillis managed to draw. The bad news is that Polkopia still have to play both of these teams. Honestly, qualification is very unlikely at this point. It'd take a miracle for the Snovski to even reach second place.

As always, the in-depth analysis of the last game can be found below:

---