World Cup 71 - RP Thread

by **Yttribia** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 6:23 pm

The Distance - CAKE

We're at matchday six, so now it's time to consider whether your team will be going the distance.

MATCHDAY SIX CUTOFF

Last.fm · by **Cosumar** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 7:05 pm

EDIT: Well damn, it seems I missed the cutoff. Thought it was going to be about 30 minutes later than it was. Oh well, here's the RP for last MD.

TAIT
ATTN: Iiro Turzusii / Delilah Ticobo
Asiimavora Way
Tropicoast, Tropicorp

The Department of Intelligent Systems in the College of Computer Engineering at Ramusok Capital University is proud to announce its participation in the World Cup 71 Madness challenge sponsored by the Tropicorp Artificial Intelligence Team (TAIT). A team of faculty led by Department Chairwoman Ardna Aridan constructed a sophisticated statistical model to project the results of Tropicorp's hypothetical single-elimination football tournament.

The tournament will feature 72 national teams from around the world, seeded from 1-16 in four geographical regions. Cosumar has been placed as a #10 seed in Turori Regional East and will face #7 Super-Llamaland in the first round.

If RCU's simulation proves to be the most accurate, the Department will receive a generous AI grant from TAIT. Our model was unafraid to look past arbitrary seed numbers in analyzing the most likely outcome on the pitch. #11 Darvale advances all the way to the final eight, #1 Audioslavia loses in the second round, and a total of six double-digit seeded squads win their Ro64 match-up - including Cosumar.

The RCU model also seems to have a healthy dose of regional pride, with Atlantian Oceania dominating the later rounds and claiming the eventual champion: Osarius. The complete projection based on Dr. Aridan's model can be viewed below.

Ramusok Capital University is the largest public university in Cosumar, and has been named the #1 most prestigious public school in the Fiefdom nine out of the last ten years according to Cosumar News & World Report.

Also referred to as the AI Department, the Department of Intelligent Systems focuses on how to render and inject intelligence in everyday applications and computerized systems. Our ultimate aim is to emulate human intelligence and automate computer systems to efficiently do what normally requires a person to do effectively. The World Cup 71 Madness Challenge is only a small part of the work we are doing everyday in the fields of bioinformatics, machine learning, web science, language technologies, information retrieval and gaming.

Cosumar
43 shots (16 on-target)
78% Possession, 90% pass accuracy
6 fouls, 1 yellow card (Engström)
Subs: Ioda (64'), Hansen (76'), Arora (88')
Royalsoldiers
4 shots (1 on-target)
22% Possession, 64% pass accuracy
5 fouls, 1 yellow card
Subs: unknown
Cosumar - 3
9' (Miyori)
17' (Engström)
35' (Engström)
Royalsoldiers - 0
No scorers

Cosumar's World Cup 71 Journey
Pre-Qual Friendly: Cosumar 4-2 Gloriax
Pre-Qual Friendly: Osarius 1-0 Cosumar
Pre-Qual Friendly: Cosumar 3-2 Estenia
Matchday 1: Cosumar 2-0 Garifunya
Matchday 2: Cosumar 3-2 Milchama
Matchday 3: Sarrbia 0-2 Cosumar
Matchday 4: Cosumar 2-0 Sameba
Matchday 5: Royalsoldiers 0-3 Cosumar
Matchday 6: Cosumar vs. Audioslavia
Matchday 7: Affiliated South Califan Sprawls vs. Cosumar
Mid-Qual Friendlies: TBA
Matchday 8: Garifunya vs. Cosumar
Matchday 9: Milchama vs. Cosumar
Matchday 10: Cosumar vs. Sarrbia
Matchday 11: Sameba vs. Cosumar
Matchday 12: Cosumar vs. Royalsoldiers
Matchday 13: Audioslavia vs. Cosumar
Matchday 14: Cosumar vs. Affiliated South Califan Sprawls
Blue: Draw
Green: Victory
Red: Defeat

Cosumar Goal-Scorers Tally (12 GF)
Anders Engström (5)
Paaron Petrov (1)
Vareza Na'Noni (1)
Frazan Va'Goshal (1)
Ole Öhman (1)
Sur Arora (1)
Tevin Lilley (1)
Tae Woo Miyori (1)

Cosumar Assists Tally
Frazan Va'Goshal (3)
Vareza Na'Noni (2)
Everett Seymour (1)
Jukka Lindroos (1)
Paaron Petrov (1)
Felix Merchison (1)
Sheldon Serra (1)
Sur Arora (1)
Anders Engström (1)
Tevin Lilley (1)

by **San Llera** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 7:38 pm

San Llera posts 1 point after rough two-game stretch
San Llera may not be high on points, but they are high on self-esteem after fighting valiantly in away matches to HopNation and Super-Llamaland, widely regarded as the two strongest teams in the group. San Llera stunned HopNation when Carles Mestre striked an 89' minute equalizer, and the match against Super-Llamaland was roughly even despite the losing result. The lone San Lleran goal of the two matches came when Enric Bou and Hector Fonda combined and Fonda slipped Mestre in behind the Hop defense. With the ball being slightly behind him, Mestre took an expert touch and his shot trickled into the near post past keeper Oeny Subanos. The only other real chance in the game for San Llera was when Don Llorens burst past two defenders but not a third as he closed in on goal. Here are player ratings from the two matches, which had identical starting lineups:

GK C. Fons - 8 - Was fantastic against HopNation and admirable in his efforts versus Super-Llamaland
LB J. Olivier - 7 - Did very well defensively against HopNation
CB A. De Gonia - 6 - Unspectacular in both matches, perhaps for the best
CB M. Abello - 7 - Admirable in defense
RB A. Belles - 6 - Was more disciplined than usual and never stood out
LM M. Saragosa - 7 - Brilliant in distribution as always
CM E. Bou - 7.5 - Showed maturity in fights with higher-level opponents
CM H. Fonda - 8 - Was the only person who seemed to have the mettle to keep up with the competition for 90 minutes
RM D. Llorens - 6 - Picked his times to shine
ST A. Mallet - 6 - Never caused opposing defenses much problems
ST C. Mestre - 7 - Did well on the goal but was never amazing
Subs:
CB G. Quella - 7 - Was shockingly unrattled on his debut
RB M. Capo - 5 - Beaten often by opposition
CM J. Montella - 6 - Unspectacular in short time on the pitch
ST J. Capo - 7 - Gave Llamalandian defenders some trouble
ST M. Bens - N/A - Touched the ball only twice

by **Jeruselem** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 8:11 pm

After Jeruselem beat Azrea 3-1 at Dazza Dallas Stadium, Princess Laura and Jane Sanderson

Laura: This is Princess Laura Virginia Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem. We're at Dazza Dallas Stadium. I'm with midfielder Jane Sanderson who was our star player today. How are things Jane?
Jane: Yes good, for today anyway.
Laura: Princesses beat Azrea 3-1 after the disaster in Filopines where we lost 2-0. Well, at least we win at home
Jane: I guess we are winning at home
Laura: A much improved team effort today even if we did conceded that last goal
Jane: We scored more than 2 goals, something which hasn't happened all cup

Laura: Yes, I wish I was out there. My knee is not the best still. Still limping around.
Jane: I know, you just want to get out there
Laura: As a long as we keep winning, we'll be good. Well, maybe
Jane: We have been a bit hot n cold. 2 wins, draws and losses
Laura: And we won by 2 goals today. This 2 number is following us around.
Jane: We didn't lose by 2 goals.

Laura: In other Group 16 games, Ko-oren beat Mendoya - TWO NIL. That number again. Filopines beat Ndaku 1-0 and Boring Paradise had a draw with
The Sword Bloke. TWO ALL. This is getting stupid.
Jane: That two number is sure around.
Laura: And Jeru FC lost TWO NIL to the Holy Empire in group TWO
Jane: I guess they weren't expected win that game.
Laura: Yes, this show is brought to you by the number two.
Jane: It sure is

Laura: The team is looking more settled now.
Jane: I guess we've worked out a stable combination today. I hope we can win an away game.
Laura: We seem a little more confident going forward. Past games the team didn't want to go too far forward in case we lost the ball.
Jane: I think we were losing the ball too much earlier, today was better.
Laura: Still we have issues
Jane: Yes, losing the ball around the goal mouth isn't very helpful.

Laura: Moving forward, we're still in the poo as we're out of the top 4 as our loss to Filopines really hurt.
Jane: We really need someone who can scramble a goalmouth goal still, most of our goals today were from set plays.
Laura: Our forwards need to move a bit faster
Jane: I think our problem is we hold back too much in case we might be carded
Laura: The Jeru FC boys are great they just do it, and to hell with the consequences
Jane: We need to be braver, and more aggressive. Someone like you who doesn't care, you just push the boundaries.

Laura: I'm not going anywhere in a hurry with his knee.
Jane: I think we do far better, the other strikers are capable given they are bigger and stronger
Laura: I think they aren't short and flexible. That holds them back. I contort myself at times.
Jane: I just think we need to just go for goals and not wait for the opposition to make mistakes
Laura: How do you approach your game?
Jane: I'm young, I have so much to learn. I'm far from the person I want to be.

Laura: Will you emulate the deeds of Jane sanderson?
Jane: No, I'll be myself because she was a real hero.
Laura: That's it from me and Jane. See you all later.
Jane: Hopefully you can rejoin the team.
Laura: Not likely
Jane: Sad to hear

Laura: This show was brought to you by the number 2!
Laura:
It takes two, two sides to every story
Not just you
I can't keep ignoring
I admit half of it, I'm not that innocent, oh yeah

It takes two, two sides to every story
Not just me
You can't keep ignoring
But let me be first baby to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)

I point my finger but it does me no good
I look in the mirror and it tells me the truth, yeah
Why all these lessons always learned the hard way
Is it too late to change

It takes two, two sides to every story
Not just you
I can't keep ignoring
I admit half of it, I'm not that innocent, oh

It takes two, two sides to every story
Not just me
You can't keep ignoring
But let me be first baby to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)

by **Polkopia** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 11:20 pm

Polkopia Remains in 3rd After 1-2 Win Against Karditan
By: Sebastian Aliyev

Coach Spartak Stenin in the match against Karditan
In what can be described as the closest, most nail-biting game that I have ever watched Polkopia play this World Cup qualifiers, Polkopia managed to take another three points after beating Karditan on their home turf. I applaud Mr. Stenin for his great managerial skills here, and this game reminded me, once again, why the Polkopian FA pays so much money to keep him in the position that he is.

The formation that Polkopia used was the traditional 4-4-2 diamond formation, with no changes to the starting XI except, once again, rookie keeper Ivan Opotov started in goal over veteran Vladimir Polov. If you've read my earlier pieces, you readers out there should know how happy this makes me. After an impressive performance last game, you better believe that I was all for him to start in this game. And boy, did he perform!

The Polkopian team kicked off to a rather rocky start, after a few shots on goal early on in the game, testing Opotov's ability as a keeper, but he wasn't having any of it! Of course, none of these shots were threatening, by any means, but it was still nice to see Opotov's athleticism as a keeper kick into play. For the first half, the home side dominated possession, shots, and probably would have taken the victory had it not been for a strong Polkopian performance in the second half.

Once the second half kicked off, Serevo immediately answered with a headed goal, assisted from Vyacheslav Gorodiva on the right, where he managed to jump above the defender, and strike the ball perfectly with his head, allowing the ball to fly past the keeper and into the net. A dangerous attack from the home side almost equalized the score, but some surprisingly good defending from Alexander T'voni stopped an easy breakthrough, keeping Polkopia ahead.

In the 87th minute, the score was equal after a foul by Boris Polgov outside the 18' allowed for a dangerous set piece to be taken by the home side. Once struck, the ball sailed over the wall and managed to dip down into the net just at the right moment, giving Karditan the lead. It all seemed as if the scoreline would end at a 1-1 draw, until a late breakthrough from Rostislav Kantrisov in extra time allowed him to guide the ball past the keeper with ease. With that, Polkopia secured the victory and three points, keeping them at third place in their group.

If you were to watch any game from the Polkopian National Team, this was the one to watch. A close game against a well-ranked team where Polkopia managed to provide a huge upset is always a great game to witness! A nice, clean game with hardly any mistakes from the Polkopian side is an added bonus!

Next time, the Polkopian side hosts Valanora, a side ranked much higher than that of our last opponents. This is the first time these two teams have faced one other in football, however the Polkopian Ice Hockey team was responsible for the Vanorian team's elimination from the 21st World Cup of Hockey. Will the Polkopian side pull another upset? We'll find out soon enough!

As always, the in-depth analysis of the last game can be found below:

by **Stvoto Latoli** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 11:39 pm

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

PRESENT DAY

"It's always like this here, Dale."

"It doesn't have to be."

GUNSHOT.

Dale had shot the other guy in the head. I jerked back in my seat from the surprise of the noise. I could hear Jorojoro snickering. He had been doing that for most of the movie (I had too, to be perfectly honest).

RAWRRAWRRARORAROAR BEW DE BEW DE RAWRRARRAORAROAR THE RAGE OF THE TIGERS RRAROARAWR DE ROARAWROARAWR I CANNOT GO BACK RRROARROARORARAWR BRING ME THE BODDDDDAAYY RRRRINGRIEWRAWRROROAR

As the terrible metal song with insufferably stupid lyrics ("sounds like a shitty Polarian band" Joro offered) played at a deafening volume over the white-on-black credits, Jorojoro and I made eye contact and smiled. Sure, you had to shell out 40 rubliyals for it, but there was still something fun about going to the cinema to see an action movie you know is going to suck. And it did. The movie'd been terrible.

We stood up and left, holding hands as we did. He led me out of the dark space, into the lobby of colorful, flashy adverts for the next big chick flick, or award-baity period piece, or horror film. There was an exit in the back that everybody used because the monorail stop was behind the theatre (shit builders, more than likely), so we took it, a few other people walking with us.

"So, what'd you think?" I said, affectionately pressing my shoulder into his side.

He stared at me with a blank expression. "Honest opinion?"

"Yeah."

"I think it's gonna win a Masters Medal."

Masters Medals were the prizes given out to filmmakers at the annual awards ceremony of the Cinematic Research Association of the Pazhujeb Islands (or CRAPI, for short). Since this was obvious sarcasm on Joro's part, I snorted.

Seemingly satisfied at having made me laugh, he led me out the exit. Immediately, it was clear that a hard rain was pouring down onto the streets outside. "Oh no!" I exclaimed.

"We can just wait here under this this overhang until it lets up," Joro offered as a low rumble of thunder sounded miles away behind him.

"Okay," I said, looking up at him. I was completely and totally falling for him.

He leaned in and kissed me deeply. I kissed back, and he pressed me up against the wall of the building, holding me by the hips. I wrapped my arms behind his back and pushed my tongue into his mouth, and in return he raised a hand and held the back of my head. I lifted one of my legs and started to wrap it around behind him. At this point we were hardcore making out in a public place, which wasn't the best look, but you know how it is. When you start to get that initial sense that you're falling in love with somebody, there's this reckless feeling that washes over you, this disregard for all the rules of decorum that surround social relationships. "I can make out with whoever I want, anywhere I want!" I thought. Ironically, though, this brief moment of introspection slightly disrupted the mood, so I lowered my leg and pulled out of the kiss. He didn't seem to notice or mind. I was weird, as he often pointed out (correctly).

"What are you doing tonight, babe?" he asked, his lips still an inch away from mine.

"Nooooothing," I answered, smiling flirtatiously. To be blunt, I knew he wanted to fuck me, but I wanted to fuck him, too, so really there was no reason to hold anything back at that point.

"All right. Do you want to come over tonight?"

"Yes," I said before closing my eyes and kissing him again.

"You wanna just make a run for the monorail station?" Joro's question came with the implicit admission that the rain wasn't even close to letting up soon. I glanced behind him. He was right.

"Okay," kissing him one last time. "Oh!" I blurted out suddenly. "Sweetheart, I just remembered something. I'm going to Nyangoma's sorority party tonight. I know," I said quickly as he shot me a dark look, "I know you don't think I should hang out with those people. But I'm not going for them, I'm going for her, and I promised. How's this sound," I muttered lecherously as I grabbed his crotch, "you come by and pick me up at eleven, and then you come over to my place. It's closer."

Louise was gone for the weekend, don't worry. I'm not THAT shitty of a roommate.

"That sounds awesome," he answered confidently, which was totally hot. He placed his palm on the small of my back and pulled me in. Clearly he had noticed me blush, or something. "You ready to run for it?"

"Yes."

So we took off across the street. ("Good job we went up to the Vezhidrupa District," I thought, since the pavement in most of Mahathu was flat asphalt, which'd be slippery as hell in the rain, but Vezhidrupa's cobbled roads were easier to deal with.) The walk to the monorail wasn't far at all, but we had to cross one four-way intersection to get there, and as we were running across, we both noticed something to our right and stopped in our tracks.

There was a long, long line of people standing in front of an ATM about thirty feet away from us. Only a few of them had umbrellas on. Most were just standing there in regular clothes, soaked to the bone. About a hundred feet behind them, barely visible through the precipitation, was another line outside what I remembered to be a bank.

"Bank run!" shouted one old lady nearer to the front of the line closer to us. She'd noticed Joro and I staring, evidently.

"What?" I shouted back.

"Bank run!! Everyone's selling stock!" she blustered angrily.

"Oh my God!"

"Come on, babe," Joro said quietly in my ear, tugging on my arm.

"Joro, wait, these people-"

"We'll find out exactly what's going on later; I'll check my phone. And what could we do to help them? Come on, babe," he repeated, "let's get to the station, we'll figure it out there."

"All right," I said softly as we started running again.

We made it to the cover hanging above the station entrance and stopped. I was dripping wet (no innuendo intended, that was scheduled for later in the evening) and Joro clearly was too. He pulled out his phone. For a second we were worried the water had damaged it, but he flicked it on and I came to his side to watch as he checked the news. "Holy fuck," he whispered - I could barely hear him say it, "it's every network's top story."

"What did that say back there? Go back," I responded, reaching my hand over and looking more closely at the phone. "Thaji Brothers went down."

"Thaji Brothers?! God in heaven." Thaji Brothers was a huge brokerage firm that a few weeks ago had been under investigation for misuse of subprime loans. "I knew they had some problems, but if they went down..."

"...the stock market could crash. Do you think that's what's happening, Joro?" I asked while I grabbed his arm, admittedly frightened.

"Sure fucking looks like it. Those god damn fat cats. Not a single one of the people on that board will be brought to court. You know that? Our entire economy could collapse, but they'll all still be living in resort houses in Šah. Fucking greedy capitalists," he said, true to the stereotype of his hippie-ish appearance. "Look," he added bitterly, "this article says it's possible that 'the recent merger of the Bank of Darmen and Royal Farmers Bank may have caused an economic shockwave, minor in Darmen but dramatic in a weaker Pazhujebi economy.' Has anyone ever heard of anti-god-damn-trust laws?!"

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know," was his answer, his voice quieting. "I don't know what we should do," he said, looking as frightened as I'm sure I did. "Let's get on the train, though, okay? I'm freezing."

"Okay, yeah," I answered quietly.

On the monorail (as the rain beat down even harder outside), there was no one. Joro and I were totally alone. It was empty. We literally could have had sex in total privacy right there if either of us had been in the mood, which neither of us were anymore. We kind of just sat there next to each other, silent.

I got off the monorail at the University Beach stop as it was closer to my dorm, but Joro stayed as his stop was the next one, Zhumachi and 11th (he had a studio apartment closer to downtown Kuratmad). I kissed him goodbye as I walked out the doors, trying to smile as I left. He smiled back.

Four hours later, I still felt a little dazed, though Nyangoma had successfully persuaded me to put on a sexy dress, and "not just for the party," as she put it (I had mistakenly told her about my planned hookup for later that night). I was a bit surprised, as Joro (and I, frankly) suspected that she hated him. But in any case, here we were at a sorority house party where I knew almost nobody, and the ones I did know, I didn't like. This resentment was even greater given the fact that none of the girls, aside from Nyangoma and myself, seemed to care at all about the events across town at the stock market, which had ultimately been "suspended for special reasons," which was Orwellian industry shorthand for "it crashed."

Nope, all those stupid bimbos were all gathered around a stereo dancing drunkenly as some awful Jaty Ferry song burbled synthesized bullshit into the moist air, improbably more loudly than that terrible Polarian metal song at the end of that movie Joro and I had seen.

But, on the other hand, I knew it was the pot calling the kettle black for me to be all shitty about the sorority girls being so hammered, given that upon my arrival Nyangoma had persuaded me ("it'll make these idiots less terrible") to take five consecutive shots of vodka. I was drunk, there were no two ways about it.

"Ddddjou check your phone again?" I slurred to her. She was standing next to me near a window a few feet away from "the dance floor, betch" (that's how it had been described to me by an unnamed, unknown blonde an hour earlier). Goma, as usual, was a stunning beauty. Tall, skinny, and African, the little green dress she was wearing made her smooth brown skin look immaculate. "I should keep Joro away from her," said my drunken brain irrationally.

"No, Savvy, I put it away, remember?!" she answered back, yelling a little louder than she needed to (she was pretty sloshed as well). "We'll worry about it later! Tonight, we're just gonna party! Put it out of your mind, kay? Besides, whatrrr you gonna do if you're still all moody about this CRAP when you're trying to get laid tonight?"

She had a point.

"Come on, let's do another shot!!" she said in her chirpy, girly voice, the one she only put on when she drank (most of the time she was busy being very aloof and humorless). "Come on, Savathi!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!"

"That's what she said!! NO. No wait. No wait. Wait. That's what you're gonna say later toni-"

"All right, Goma, God!" I said, grinning. "Hey," I put a hand on her shoulder as she and I walked into the quieter kitchen, where all the booze was. "Thankyew fur... thenkyew for changing your mind about him."

"Who?!" Again, unnecessarily loud.

"Joro!"

"Oh. Yeah, I'm gna... gonna be honesst because like, like... I still don't like him that much. But that's okay! That's okay! Bcause it's whether you like him that matters. And- oops," she said as she pulled down the bottle of vodka from the shelf and slammed it on the counter with excessive force, good thing the bottle didn't break, "and I can tell you like him aLOT, so it's okay. I'm okay. It's okay."

"Good," I said. In a state of greater sobriety, I might have analyzed her soliloquy for having some passive-aggressive overtones, but, being drunk, I was really grateful to have her vote of confidence.

"AWESOME!" she said, close to my face, smiling wide. "Hey. I just had a good idea. UMMMMMM," she said, the last word a bit loudly as she reached behind the knife rack and pulled out a weird little plastic bag, her head panning back and forth, watching for the other girls, "have you ever used the hog?"

"Like, Emperrr Hog?"

"Yeah!"

"Umm, yeah one time fresshman year."

"Did you like it?"

"Yeah, I liked it. I mean, whatever. Yeah, I liked it."

"Sometimes," she said conspiratorially and leaned even closer, "sssometimes I take it before I go to class! I never unsderstand anything!"

I giggled. This is the kind of thing I would never, ever expect, and even if I had suspected something, she NEVER would have told me. But she was wasted, so secrets were coming out.

"Do you want to..."

"Ummm..."

"I know, you're worried about Joro. Don't worry, it makes sex AWESOME. Like, holyyyyyyyyyy fuck, so awesome," she said, adorably knowledgeably.

"Um, okay."

"Besides," she said, leaning over again, "I bet he has all kinds of drugs already anyway." This was the first indication of the night that there were still vestiges of her previous hatred for Jorojoro somewhere in her head still. I knew for a fact that he was completely clean; he'd given up drugs and alcohol the year before. "I dunno, they just make me feel like a moron, I guess - I'm too old for them" was his explanation.

But, whatever. I overlooked it and accepted the VERY generous portion of vodka from Goma before she crouched over the counter, cutting the Emperor Hog into two lines. "We have to be chill about this," she said in a hoarse whisper. "This isn't mine, it's my roommate's!" Her smile was mischievously wide. This side of her, I thought to myself, was great. Joro would like her more if she acted like this all the time.

Goma took her shot of vodka and then immediately slapped her hand over her mouth. She managed to keep it down, but I laughed as her facial expression was a clear "that was a close one." "Okay," she said, revealing the lines of very fine, pale green powder, "ready?"

"Sure."

She handed me a straw and I snorted the line. As I remembered from the previous time I'd used Emperor Hog, it was an immediate rush of energy and euphoria. Like knowing all the world's problems were still out there (murder, rape, and of course the economy, among other things), but you believe that you can solve all of them. The rush magnified and I looked up at Goma, laughing.

She faintly smiled, but then her face changed. Or were the colors just getting more and more bright? Hmm, it was tough to tell through the hog. No, her face fell a little bit. "What's wrong?" I tried to ask as my vision started to go all white. "Wha-"

I felt my legs give way. It was the last thing I remember before losing consciousness.

(NOTE: This RP is part of a very long and ambitious storyline that serves as an origin story for this nation. I will be referencing at least a half dozen of my own former RPs, written as the Pazhujeb Islands or Kagdazka and Pazhujebu. As such, I feel like it is in good faith to report this to hosts who might be tabulating my RP bonus: the past RPs I will reintroduce are original material, but most of them have been directly copied and pasted. If this is considered uncouth, I will understand if I am docked bonus points. However, it is worth mentioning that in many of these ancient RPs I left hints that I did plan on revisiting later. Subsequently, this self-plagiarism simply attempts to give context for the plot I will be weaving. I will always provide a notice in this space any time an old RP is used or referenced.)

by **Nephara** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 12:13 am

THE BRINEMOUTH HERALD
BOTTLEGREEN ON FIRE AS RESOLUTE PERFORMANCE DRIVES CORMORANTS INTO FIRST
by Theodora Kenway
Polaaskan: Petersen; van Leonardsen, Arke (c), Hogg (Melker 49'), Semshov (Makarov 49); van Bommel; Leonardsen, Karlstrom; Mihaylov; Blonqvist, Heinckel (Ael 68')
Goals: Karlstrom 43'
Nephara: Ballard; Christener, Belfast (c), Stubbs, Stockinger; Bottlegreen, Ashdown, Murdoch, Connacht (Rivers 56'); Quinn, Rowland (Cathar 71')
Goals: Bottlegreen 4', 79', Ashdown 35' (pen), Quinn 62'

Tanya Bottlegreen was the star as a glittering Nephara destroyed a Polaaskan team that had, to that point, been contenders to hang onto the top two. Now, after Maretta (Nephara's next opponent) managed to stalemate the Royal Barangay, Nephara finally takes their seat at the top of the standings. Not only did the Cormorants continue to perform in attack, but the defense has recovered from its early lapse in the first three matches and looked very solid, despite the goal conceded.

Polaaskan started gamely, aiming to bounce back from a 3-1 defeat to the Royal Barangay, and Ballard was tested early with a swerving volley from Blonqvist. She tipped it around the post for a corner that, ultimately, she came to punch out fiercely - she's occasionally looked shaky in qualifying, but those first three minutes confirmed she was on her best form. And if not, well, between Caravella and Coleman the Nepharim line is stocked for talent. With a similar situation across the defensive line - Christener still winning her place over Rhein, Stubbs over Marlowe.

The third minutes showed good signs for the hosts. The fourth was a disaster. A quick forward ball by Ashdown found Bottlegreen marauding down the right wing, who dummied through Semshov, beat Hogg for pace and fired powerfully past Petersen. It was an elegant combination by the two Hastmead Diamante midfielders, and not to be the last of the night.

Polaaskan had been taught caution, and sat back for the time being. Their solid defence held firm aside from Hogg almost turning the ball into his own net trying to defend a low, quick Connacht cross. Christener, for her part, nearly scored when she dashed into the box to find Rowland's flick-on and struck a vicious volley that skimmed off the crossbar. But Nephara didn't have to wait too much longer for another goal for comfort, Quinn trying to rise for Ashdown's free kick but dragged down in the air by Hogg. Blatant penalty and a caution for the veteran centreback, with Ashdown stepping up for it. Cool, calm, collected, she slotted it low and hard past Petersen though he went the right way.

Two goals to the good - the most dangerous scoreline, as received wisdom has it. And it was true for this match at least, with Nephara sitting back a little, taking a breather from their high-intensity style. Only some determined, typically patient defending from Belfast saw Blonqvist safely herded out to fire tamely at Ballard's near post, and only a typically full-octane two-footed tackle dispossessed Mihaylov when he looked to shape for a shot. But the goal was coming, and it came from a neat bit of skill. Van Leonardsen's cross was flicked on by Blonqvist, and while Stubbs was poised to put pressure on Mihaylov the attacking midfielder utterly sold her short with a masterfully acted feint, letting the ball roll past them both. Lukas Karlstrom caught onto the feint, took possession and a couple steps forward - enough time for Ballard to readjust, but she couldn't dive far enough to match Karlstrom's inch-perfectly placed shot, high into the top corner. While the Cormorants pressed to get another back, Rowland heading over the bar ended the half at 2-1.

That wouldn't suit either team, and straight after the kick-off, Nephara could've scored within two minutes. Yet again, Bottlegreen beasted Semshov, and her cross was flicked on by Rowland (similarly beasting Hogg) to Quinn, who scuffed a snapshot poorly and Petersen was able to get across for the save. The Polaaskan manager had seen enough - both defenders came off in the 49th minute, and the defence looked sharper after that point. But when new leftback ArtemMakarov looked to finally have Bottlegreen marked down, Riether turned to her own bench to switch Bottlegreen to the left flank, taking off Connacht for right midfielder Brendan Rivers.

With Bottlegreen continuing to run rampant, and Rivers causing problems of his own (firing barely high and wide from just inside the box just three minutes after coming on) another goal was coming. Eventually, it was Quinn who made amends for scuffing the earlier chance by stabbing home the rebound after Murdoch's shot was parried by Petersen. But, predictably, it was Bottlegreen who scored the fourth, leading van Leonardsen (who had excelled going forward all game, but was shakier in defence) a merry dance before firing high past Petersen. It was a deserved fourth, and sealed a firm away victory over decent opposition. After four straight defeats, Nephara were on their fifth straight victory.

And, of course, it puts the Cormorants in first. Next up is Maretta, who shouldn't prove a threat. Which, I'm sure, is what the Barangay was thinking before drawing them 0-0. Or Taeshan, before succumbing to a 2-2 draw. But apart from Adoxinia, which is really a free pass, they've not scored a point besides those matches. An enigma, but really, we should be able to stomp them. Riether isn't the sort of manager to let her team be complacent - bar Earo and Brenecia, both at least decent teams, she's beaten all the teams Nephara's been expected to destroy - and under her, the Cormorants are on track to breeze through.

But then, nothing's ever a sure thing in qualifying. That's a lesson we've learned just too often.

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 1:22 am

A REBUTTAL TO THE LYING, MISLEADING AND RACIST ORGANIZATION THAT IS THE CHIATA TIMES
By Arnold Isaacs

(Author's note: Apologies to anyone who may become offended by the following words to come from this article. This is the first time that I have ever made an article such as this in my writing career for Crescent News Network Sports, and therefore I feel like it is absolutely necessary to say everything I have to say right now.)

In the last few days, the Fleftic media has been abuzz with rumors that an article from an organization I shall from now on call "the Chiata Times" has made some derogatory remarks on the country and the people following the World Cup qualifying match between Abanhfleft and Chiata, which saw the Suns defeat the Revolutionaries 1-0. Anyway, I went into the Internet, and found this, the article in question. Apparently, it was made just a few hours after I had posted my own match report about the Abanhfleft-Chiata game, which can be seen here. In it, whoever was doing the writing for the "Chiata so-called Times" apparently thought that by my titling my article "ABANHFLEFT MANAGES TO HOLD CHIATA TO 1-0 VICTORY IN VILLITOVA," I was doing a massive disservice to the journalistic profession by misleading readers into believing that by holding this highly-ranked nation to a 1-0 scoreline, Abanhfleft had as good as won the game.

Nowhere in my article did I say that Abanhfleft felt that we've won by keeping Chiata 1-0 at their home ground. In fact, what I was trying to say is that Chiata had a lot of chances to increase their lead and give our national football team a humiliation similar to that we suffered at the hands of Turori in our first game of this World Cup qualifying cycle, something that the Chiatan writer would've noticed if he or she cared to read the whole article itself and not just the title, as he or she clearly thinks all Fleftic newsreaders do. This actually shows that whoever wrote that article is just as ignorant as he or she claims the entire Fleftic citizenry is by looking only at the title of a news report from a foreign news source and not caring to delve deeper into the article and know actually why it was given a title as that.

Abanhfleft has been going through a rough patch as of recently in terms of sports, with the national baseball team managing to only snatch third place in the International Baseball Slam, coupled with an early exit in the Handball World Cup. Football being one of the most popular sports in the Democratic Republic, the start of a new World Cup cycle looked as good an opportunity as any for the country to regain some sports glory that had been lost following the heady days of our debut in the general sports multiverse. Yet it was not to be. From the start, the national team has been plagued with form problems, and despite the best efforts of the team staff and the fans, they weren't able to get off to a good start. The aforementioned 5-0 humiliation at Turori was just the beginning. With a nil-nil draw to Isula ge Ru at home, a 4-2 loss at Kazamatsuri, and a tense 3-2 victory against a mysterious Panamerhispania side, fans were already beginning to lose confidence that Abanhfleft could make a good run for the World Cup this time around. So, when news came out that Chiatan managed to score only one goal in their victory over us... I wouldn't say that the fans are happier, but I could sense that they feel that it could have been a lot worse.

Yes, Abanhfleft lost to Chiata, which I think is probably what all Chiatans want to hear from me anyway. But your team could definitely have scored seven more goals on your way to defeating us, and even though our team already had that cloud of defeat hanging over them, they didn't give up like they did in the game against Turori. Instead, they fought as hard as they could to keep your team from scoring any more goals, and for us Fleftics, that was at least as good a performance they could put up as if they actually won.

And that somehow brings me not very neatly to my second point. In the same article that I mentioned above, the writer called the Fleftic people "Flefters." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you read that right. A Chiatan news source has called our people the F word. And he or she didn't do it just once. I counted carefully the times that the F word appeared on that article, and I can safely say that the dread F word was on that article three times. Three times, dear readers. Now, I don't know about Chiata, but in Abanhfleft, where political correctness has slowly and steadily infected the country despite wholehearted efforts to the contrary by many big names, if you are found to be calling the people of an entire country by a derogatory term, your career as a journalist is as good as dead. You will be given the sack by your original paper or organization, and no one else will risk to hire you because you are now tainted as rotten meat. You might as well have painted RACIST in big bold letters on your back, because that's how hopeless anyone who slips up on political correctness in Abanhfleft is, or will be. But I can't say the same for the Chiatan media because I've never been there, and as of this moment I wouldn't want to be. Even if you threatened to cut off my testicles and feed them to me.

No one really knows when the term "Flefter" became derogatory for people of the once Free Land and now Democratic Republic, but the first instance of using "Flefter" in an offensive manner was in 1901, and somehow it led to the invasion and occupation of Sarvusdalamoive. Sarvusdalamoive is now of course a constituent part of Abanhfleft, but my point is that at some point, the people of Abanhfleft decided that they find it very offensive to be called a "Flefter." Which is why now, everyone from Abanhfleft makes it a point that we are Fleftics, and not whatever foreign people can come up with. Some unofficial alternative demonyms are all right for us, such as Abanhfleftians, but for whatever reason "Flefter" really ticks us all off. I can't imagine why, but every time I hear or read that word, my blood pressure shoots up, my face turns red, I find it hard to breath, and I end up having to look at pictures of my kids' puppies and kittens just to regain my composure.

There is an old saying that goes, "If you call a man from Abanhfleft a Fleftic, he will probably buy you a drink. If you call a man from Abanhfleft a Flefter, he will surely beat you up so hard that you will wish you've never learned how to speak." Sure, it's a little bit discredited now that very few people outside of Abanhfleft are aware of the term, but I'm afraid that the "Chiata so-called Times" may have opened up a Pandora's box with this one. As of this moment, the Foreign Affairs Ministry is already asking the government of Chiata for a "formal apology" for what the "Chiata so-called Times" said in the aforementioned article. I'm not sure if Chiata will indeed apologize, but if they don't, I called it.

And now we come to what I have wanting to say ever since I sat down to write this. I think that the Chiata Times are a bunch of lying, misleading and racist journalists that should be given the sack. They are liars because they claim that I said that Abanhfleft is treating our loss against them like a victory, when I said no such thing in my article. In fact, I'm going to say that they're the ones treating their victory like a loss because they really could've scored more goals than what they actually got, and brought on further pain and humiliation on us. They are misleading because they claim that every Fleftic who reads the news only reads the article headlines, a fact which they would soon realize was not true if they bothered to look beyond the headlines themselves. And finally, they are racist because they called us Flefters three times. Why? Just because, apparently, although I will give them the benefit of the doubt because they are probably unaware that Flefter is a derogatory word for Fleftics.

I'm sure Chiata can afford to look back on their former glory and see every win and ignore every draw and loss, but for Abanhfleft, former glory simply doesn't exist for us yet. We take what we can get and hope for the best. And what we've got right now is definitely far from the best.

I'm supposed to write an article about the Frenline Delpha-Abanhfleft match, but I'm still in a bit of a bad mood about that article from the "Chiata so-called Times," and also because Clarkson has just been officially sacked, so no more Top Gear as we know it. I'll just say that we won thanks to goals from Kevin Kelvin and Peter Rice. Frenline Delpha got an early equalizer in the first half, but unfortunately they couldn't find a second one. The only good thing I can see from this is that Chiata also won against Walamzia by just one goal too. But perhaps they like winning that way. Simple and with no fuss.

MATCH RESULTS

FRENLINE DELPHA 1 - 2 ABANHFLEFT
  SOMEONE (36')       KEVIN KELVIN (29')
                      PETER RICE (70')

WORLD CUP QUALIFYING GROUP 9 TABLE

P Group 9                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Chiata                                    6    5   1   0     9    0   +9    16
2 Kazamatsuri                               6    5   1   0    14    7   +7    16
3 Turori                                    6    4   1   1    15    3  +12    13
4 Isula ĝe Ru                               6    2   1   3     8   11   −3     7
5 Abanhfleft                                6    2   1   3     7   13   −6     7
6 Panamerhispania                           6    1   1   4     8   15   −7     4
7 Walamzia                                  6    1   0   5     9   13   −4     3
8 Frenline Delpha                           6    1   0   5     9   17   −8     3

by **Trans-Dniesters** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 2:44 am

ПРИДНЕСТРОВСКАЯ ЦЕНТРАЛЬНАЯ НОВОСТИ АГЕНЦИЯ
PRIDNESTROVSKAYA TSENTRALNAYA NOVOSTI AGENTSIYA
PRIDNESTROVIAN CENTRAL NEWS AGENCY

PRIDNESTROVIA TRIUMPHS OVER PEACE REPUBLIC 4-2 IN WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS
By Gustav Tyumenov

A Peace Republic defender attempts to dispossess David Somogyi in Sheriff Stadium, Tiraspol.

SHERIFF STADIUM, TIRASPOL - After scoring four goals in a valiant defeat against Omerica, Pridnestrovia scored four goals once again, this time in a convincing victory against Peace Republic.

Boyan Radev got a brace, and Peter Schermer and David Somogyi added one goal each to their tallies on their way to victory against Peace Republic, whose players came in white kits with no names or numbers.

Radev opened up the scoring in the 12th minute by nodding in a cross from Dumitru Anghelescu. Somogyi followed some minutes later with a cheeky volley over the Peace Republic keeper. Peace Republic got one back when one of their players scored from a corner just before the end of half time.

Schermer opened the scoring in the second half, but another Peace Republic player--not the first goalscorer though--got another goal back to keep their team within arm's reach of Pridnestrovia. But eventually Radev manage to distance his country from the visitors with his second goal of the game.

Werner Ceausescu was once again all praises for his team. "We've got what it takes to keep up with the rest of the world," he said. "More games like this and we're clearly in contention."

         PRIDNESTROVIA 4 - 2 PEACE REPUBLIC
BOYAN RADEV (12', 75')       GOALSCORER 1 (43')
   DAVID SOMOGYI (31')       GOALSCORER 2 (56')
  PETER SCHERMER (47')

PRIDNESTROVIA
GK: Alkaev
RB: Gavrilyuk
CB: Vasilyev
LB: Petrov
RM: Anghelescu
RDM: Wasylyk
CDM: Lukacs
LDM: Somogyi
LM: Wasylyshyn
CF: Radev
CF: Schermer

MATCH STATS
Possession
Pridnestrovia: 63%
Peace Republic: 37%
Shots
Pridnestrovia: 19 (9 on target)
Peace Republic: 5 (2 on target)
Corners
Pridnestroviaa: 5
Peace Republic: 11
Fouls
Pridnestrovia: 10
Peace Republic: 22

WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS GROUP 12 TABLE

P Group 12                                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Unified Sunrise Islands                   6    5   1   0    19    6  +13    16
2 Nova Anglicana                            6    3   3   0    17   10   +7    12
3 Kalumba                                   6    2   4   0    14    8   +6    10
4 Schutzenphalia & West Ruhntuhnkuhnland    6    3   0   3    11   14   −3     9
5 Omerica                                   6    2   2   2    16   13   +3     8
6 Pridnestrovia                             6    2   1   3    17   19   −2     7
7 Wolfbenz                                  6    1   0   5    11   19   −8     3
8 Peace Republic                            6    0   1   5     7   23  −16     1

by **Brenecia** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 3:34 am

Scout Given was a fighter. Small, scrappy, and quick with her fists. Words, too, which was generally what got things to fists when she was a kid.
She remembered when she was seventeen, which is what this little shit of a kid seemed to be. This fucking Adams guy... on Ash's shit all match. Constantly in the referee's ear. Constantly bragging about how he was going to be big some day and score all the goals, and fuck, Given just wanted to take one of the decent bloody paychecks Pajukas was giving her and tape it to the kid's eyes.
Ugly prick, too. Fortunately he didn't actually seem that good, skying a couple of easy enough chances. Johansen seemed like the real threat.
But by the - she checked the scoreboard - 24th minute Brenecia were sailing smooth, anyway. Should be a clear two-, three-nil win.
But this prick Adams was- ah, shit!
Russell had tackled Purrington cleanly and, unsurprisingly, was outrunning her forward. Before Camden could cut him off, the ball was hit across to the patient, but attack-minded Brayden Liam. A neat series of passes got the ball to Owens, playing in the hole - with Breton away, Kilcane moved forward to contain him and Given in turn ran inside to cover the run of...
... Oh, I'll get you for this, you little shit. Leaving yourself too open for the slide tackle. Classic-
Adams hurdled her challenge and threw himself to the ground. Given ignored him, got up and hoofed the ball back up the right wing, hoping to release Swain on the right...
Wait.
Did the referee just blow that?
"Ah, seriously, ref?!" she snapped, incredulously. "Fucken dived, mate!"
Fairhall was up too, and Faulkner had gone back to argue as well. "Blatant dive, mate, blatant," muttered the Zozi man. "Disgusting."
But Adams went right into his ear, too. The referee looked overwhelmed, but ultimately he just sort of waved a yellow card in Given's face and trotted off after a ball. Probably the best thing to do, under the circumstances - besides, well, not give the penalty.
And Adams was giving her grief. Fucken smug twink.
"Yeah, keep laughin', prick!" said Given as the striker took the ball. "Hey, want to tell me and the ref here what the big joke is? Fucken big man?"
Erin Camden spotted something beginning to spark in her eyes, and put a hand gently on her shoulder. "Scout..."
The red mist was in her eyes. "Fucken think you're somethin' special, huh? Think you're-"
The two sides came together, both trying to pull their respective fighters apart. Well, mostly trying to get Given off Adams. The teenager was lying, stricken on the ground - and that hadn't been a dive.
It would become an iconic photo - Camden and Faulkner dragging her away as the referee gave her the straight red. But right now, Given had nothing to care about photo composition.
All she cared about was that she'd gotten the bastard right in the jaw.
That, at least, got her a smile... but it didn't last, as the home crowd started cheering madly. Even with her back to the pitch, she knew Devonta had scored.

The team talk had been straight to the point. Given, as expected, had been roundly ignored. "It's not the end of the world, people," said Bardsley. "Next up is... uh, Conrad?"
"Ekoz," said Keane flatly. "At home. Don't win, and we may's well all kill ourselves."
"Yeah, right... and look, we got our way out of a far tougher position last cycle. Just remember the good times. Alright... let's go. 'Cept you, Scout. You stay behind."
Given hadn't really moved. That had been the first time all speech she'd been acknowledged. Everyone else filtered out, a couple of the people personally closest to her - Larissa, Malta, Olenna - giving her sympathetic looks.
When the last of them left, Bardsley took several deep breaths. "What the fuck was that, Scout?"
"He dived, guv."
Given flinched as Bardsley, normally so mellow, hurled the clipboard at her head. It bounced off onto the ground. "Wrong answer!" she snapped.
"Catherine..." said Keane warily.
Bardsley calmed a little - as best she could. "I'm sorry. I ... saw red. Remind you of anyone?"
"He fucken dived. Cheatin' scum," muttered Given.
"Do you really think that means you should've fucking chinned him?"
"No! Just... just that's why. Can't stand that sort'f fucken twink."
"You're a goddamn mongrel, Scout."
"I know." She grinned, ruefully. "'S how I made it this far, eh?"
"You'll get matches out for this. Three, probably. And... and you let the team down today, too. Though we should still have managed to pull a point back."
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I know I let you all down. 'S my one regret, I should've waited to beat him up in the tunnel at full-time."
Bardsley sighed. "Nothing I say you don't know, eh?"
Given shrugged apologetically. "I had like an hour to think about all this shit."
"... I guess so." Bardsley sighed. "I guess so. But Jesus, Scout, you need to get your anger management problems solved."
"Hell. I'll try." She grinned, in spite of the situation. "But it's just who I am, guv."
"You ever heard the one about the scorpion and the frog, Scout?"
"... Hm?"
"There's this fable. A scorpion asks a frog to take her across the river."
"... The scorpion's a chick?"
"You're the fucking scorpion in this analogy, Scout. Now listen. Scorpion wants to go across the fucking river. Frog's scared, thinks the scorpion's going to sting to death."
Given frowned. "But then they'd both drown."
"Right, exactly! Scorpion tells the frog that. And they both go across the river. Midway across? Scorpion stings it to death. As the frog flounders and they both go under, the frog asks 'why?' The scorpion replies, 'it's in my nature.'"
There was a pause. "So the moral's like... you can't save something with a bad nature?"
Bardsley rolled her eyes. "The moral's that the scorpion fucking drowned, Scout. There's a greater picture here than your goddamn vendetta, and a little dive, and if the scorpion had waited a little bit longer, the scorpion's football team would've won 2-1. Alright?"
"... Alright."
"Good." Bardsley sighed. "Now don't fucking forget it."

by **Jeru FC** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 3:35 am

Laura Cashman and Jeru FC ROAw after Jeru FC lost 2-0 to the Holy Empire

Laura: Say, you lost but don't look disappointed
ROAW: Oh, that. We're alright, we expected to lose anyway.
Laura: But you lost
ROAW: They are the best team in the group, no one can beat them. So 2-0 is not bad to lose by.
Laura: But you can't take that attitude all the time
ROAW: We expect the Holy empire to finish first so we're not crying today

Laura: It does mean you get pushed back to 4th place though
ROAW: I think most teams expect to lose the them Holy people
Laura: No more excuses for the next game then
ROAW: I'm sure we'll find one when we need it
Laura: How's the girlfriend?
ROAW: She's a bit grumpy about not being able to play. I guess she can't walk properly anyway.

Laura: That's serious knee injury
ROAW: Yes but she's not one to sit around watching football
Laura: Good thing she's got her other job I guess
ROAW: She's very good at that too
Laura: I admit I'm a pain wuss. I'd be resting a lot more.
ROAW: She's not the idle type. You know that.

Laura: What did the coach say today?
ROAW: He was impressed we didn't get trashed.
Laura: Maybe they were taking it easy on you.
ROAW: I think we're defending a lot better than last cup
Laura: I think you are working harder too. Too many lazy spells in the last cup
ROAW: You can't say we actually don't learn

Laura: Is the coach going to retire after this? He's not getting any younger
ROAW: I think we're making him age quick too. I don't think he can cope with another cup
Laura: Means you need a new one
ROAW: I hope it's a girl too.
Laura: Why is that?
ROAW: Male coaches like making players train way too long.

Laura: I guess there's only so much training one can do
ROAW: Kind of gets repetitive too
Laura: I wouldn't cope
ROAW: We're brain dead, we can cope
Laura: You seem to spend a lot of time talking to girls
ROAW: Oh that, I like talking to people who don't talk like they're drunk or on drugs like my friends are

Laura: Because they are drunk or on drugs
ROAW: Yeah I know, and you don't try to randomly punch people ...
Laura: That's bad
ROAW: Well, they drink way too much for my liking.
Laura: My God, I've never heard Jeru FC player say that before.
ROAW: I don't want to die young.

by **Electrum** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 4:02 am

With permission from Vermark

Miranda Lawrence -- A message to Frans Rosling: Stop telling us what to do!

A criticism on The Vermark Model

As an Electrumite, I am privileged to be invited to the PEC at the invitation of the Vermark conservatives, whose voice has been stifled by the progressives for not following their ideals. In fact, they are ostracised for not following the zeitgeist of the 'progressive Age' in Vermarkian politics. And these progressives have besmirched the good name of 'liberals'. In fact, my definition of 'liberal' involves the use of free-market capitalist economies to make efficient market decisions to maximise living standards of the economy. It is just trashy how the Vares throw the word 'liberal' eveywhere when they describe themselves, when they don't know what a true 'liberal' is.

Frans Rosling should stop opening his mouth and spread economic misinformation around the world as part of a 'model', on how we should live our lives. His treatise is a recipe for economic mismanagement, and as so, we should take his words with a pinch of salt. Firstly, on his words on politics. According to him, Vermark is going through a progressive age, but in fact, is using this as an excuse to say that Vermark is a socialised economy. Whatever way you look at it, it is irrational to say that people would rather pay more taxes than not, just to support the economy. There are two reasons why we should not believe that reasoning -- firstly, there is little to no incentive to work hard, since someone else can do it for you. Secondly, why would people pay more tax? Everyone around the world, as far as I'm concerned, is more willing to get more money so they can buy more things. Not hand it off for the government where it goes somewhere. But, Rosling attributes this to some person that I don't care about, that people are trusting of the government. Has anyone heard of the tyranny of the majority? It is the businessmen and capitalists of Vermark who suffer the most, but as they make up the minority, it doesn't translate to anything. The majority, relatively poorer in comparison, are free to steal money of hard workers, further disincentiving those hard workers from making more.

In his next article on economics, I would like to applaud him where Rosling talks about how taxation cuts are helping the country move along in terms of GDP. But that's where my applaud stops. I pity those Varish consumers in the grain and petroleum industries, where nationalised industries have a monopoly in the entire market. That right there, is the creation of inefficiency and uncompetitive behaviour. When the government controls certain economic industries and sectors, what we tend to see is a lack of incentive to cut back on costs, or to increase quality of the production. Price caps remain in place for some companies, presumably below their equilibrium price, which means that again, there is no incentive for those companies for the opposite effect - if they're getting paid peanuts, then why bother improving their product? Again, what we see is the petty Varish trying to artificially set prices and control markets to detrimental effect.

Finally, onto the Environment. A hot-button issue, because apparently, 96% of the population believe in climate change. But when we see the left spinning lies about global warming in order to scare us, we feel compelled to do something, and blindly accept the so-called scientific evidence that climate change is real. And even if we were to accept that climate change is real, we are not omniscient. The scientific community has failed insofar predicting what will actually happen to the planet that we live on. Sure, you may pull up changes in temperature somewhere in the past some time and call that evidence, but when you can't even predict what is happening next, that is verging on quackery. Lastly, Rosling talks (in his thesis) about how Enermark (their energy company) has to keep prices low, and that it's 'efficiency is top notch.' No explanation, no proof.

Which has, in a way, typified Rosling's thesis. He talks about efficiency, academia, etc. Which are all 'good' things if you're a progressive. But it's all a web of lies and spin. Like climate change, there has been no real evidence provided, whereas I have provided my points with evidence and economic rigour. The Varish need to wake up.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 6:02 am

Lord Almighty Gregory's Speech to the People

"Good morning, ladies, gentlemen, and slaves. I speak to you today of ridiculous claims made by the folks in The Dreamy Realm and by the woman impersonating Sister Maria Polus, who our army killed over a year ago now. Yet this woman continues to impersonate this radical, garbage-spewing nun. She will die too, eventually, but not yet.

"In any case, these two claims are somewhat related. The Holy Empire claims to have used their Dreamy Realm magic to turn me into a woman temporarily. As you heard yesterday in my speech, I was very much a man. That is why I had a manly voice. It is most certainly not because I had our sound engineer edit in real time. Similarly, it is untrue that I ordered our security guards to search our cameraman 361 times so that I would have an excuse to execute him and not film the speech. Anyone who says that is a liar and will be killed along with their family. My name is Lord Almighty Gregory, not Lady Almighty Gregorina. Those claims are absurd and even more laughable than the Costa Lunians' claims to be smart, the Sanctii claims that Eye-ee-zus is God, or Consul Kulseth's plan to bring back "Thou" into the English language. Speaking of which, anyone who uses "Thou" or "Thee" in Gregoryisgodistan will be sent to a Grammar Reeducation Camp. That is simply not proper English and you must not use it. This is all a digression, so let's get back on point.

"Meanwhile, the woman impersonating Sister Maria Polus has taken The Holy Empire's claims that I am now a woman at face value, but denied that the Dreamy Realm folks are responsible. Instead, she claims I am a man living life as a woman. That is equally absurd. I am not transgender. Although impersonating the other gender is not a crime in Gregoryisgodistan (provided one does not impersonate a specific member of the opposite gender, which would be treated as fraud, a capital crime, just the same as impersonating a specific member of the same gender) I have never had any desire to impersonate a woman. Such a thing is highly uncommon, though not completely unheard of, in this country. But I have not done such a thing. The impostor's claims are equally laughable and I call for her to be beheaded for the crimes of slandering the Lord, impersonating the real Maria Polus, claiming the real Maria Polus isn't dead, and committing blasphemy. We will invade Acedonia and kill her if we have to but she could just turn herself in to make things easier and save her students. If we have to go through St. Hermione's to kill her, we will kill every student and faculty we come across before we kill her. It will be loads of fun. Let's do it, let's do it now, Death to Sister Maria Polus!

"Finally, I wish to speak of our soccer team, the Foot Slaves. They played to a scoreless draw away from home to Maklohi Vai. They are now in third place in Group 2 with 11 points, ahead of Jeru FC on Goal Difference. With Jeru FC playing The Holy Empire in the first-half finale, we are likely to pull completely ahead of them if we beat Dawnhaven, which we should. However, Maklohi Vai plays Nurkama, which they should win, meaning we will still be in third place at the halfway mark, out of playoff position. However, we get Maklohi Vai at home in the second half, which should increase our winning chances, though we have to play Jeru on the road, which should be tough. If we draw Jeru and beat Maklohi Vai, I like our chances. Jeru still has to play Maklohi Vai, and one of those teams has to lose (or they both can draw) which would allow us to gain points on them. All three of us play The Holy Empire in the second half, and all three of us will probably lose. That cancels out. I seriously think we can qualify for the playoffs for just the second time in our history, and move on to the World Cup for the first time in our history. That would be one of the most glorious sporting moments in Gregorisgodistan history. I expect it to happen, I truly do. Let's go Foot Slaves. Let's make it happen!"

by **Timbermunich** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 7:51 am

Timbermunich

World Cup 71
Burning Tree – Part 2

While walking back to his father the boy closes his hand around the ember and he can feel it pulse, but again there is only a warm feeling with no burning. He moves slowly as the hissing sound has now decreased and continues to diminish as he walks out from the center of the flaming orb. As he walks his father anxiously paces in a circular pattern around the TimberStag and each time he rounds the animal he looks into the flames and then back down at the ground until he comes around again. From the outside he could not see his son after he fully entered the flames, which caused his anxiety to grow and it visibly increased as he walked.

After what seemed like an eternity to his father the boy’s hand emerged from within. First slowly, then more quickly the boys’ right arm appeared followed by his left leg and finally his head and chest. Once his face was outside the flames a wider swatch opened around him and revealed the rest of his body. From behind flames from the orb flickered outward in what looked to be an attempt to pull the boy back, but each time a flame got close to the boys back it would span out as if it hit a wall and never touched the boy. Seeing his son emerge from the flames the father noticed he was naked. He went to the pack on the TimberStag’s side and removed a cloak from the satchel, then quickly walked over and wrapped the boy in it. He reminded his son not to open his hand until they returned to his sister and to remain inside the cloak. Neither of them new the power he held in his hand nor did they know the significance of the cloak but the boy did as his father instructed. They mounted the TimberStag and departed as quickly as they could pushing the TimberStag to it’s limits to get home.

To be continued…..

by **Barunia** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 8:08 am

The Scarlet Standard
Official Fan Magazine of the Barunia Suns
Well, that sucked. How the fuck did they let four goals in? Four fucking goals, undoing all the hard work of Manzana and Bubble up front. Bainbridge hurt his finger last week, but this week it looks like he was hurting all over. I don;t know what was fucking wrong, but he was moving like an old man in the sticks. When the oncoming striker chip shots centimetres over your head and you cant stop them, you've got serious problems. Of course, the big question is, what the hell was the defence doing allowing the Ceni players to run through like that? They should never have gotten anywhere close to our goal. Barnett needs to fucking go. He's useless. And as for Robinson, why the hell is she even here in the first place? Now, I have nothing against women in football, but if they're on the national team, they should at least be capable of playing the fucking game. It's not rocket science.

All the other girls were on the olympic team at least, and play overseas. Robinson plays second division (for the Diamonds too, hardly the most successful of teams) and is in her first international competition. Seriously, were there no other home-grown defenders in the whole of X-League we could call on? I just hope she hasn't been given the job as some sort of gender equality quota stunt. That kind of bullshit just ruins the sport, as well as the hopes and dreams of skilld players by bureaucrats telling them "No, you can't play this sport even though you are so good, because you don't match the right race or gender for our equality program."
I've got news for you, BFA: Making playing a condition based on race or gender is DISCRIMINATION. NO, it's not fucking helping, it's part of the goddamn problem. Base it on merit, that's equality.

Well, now I've finished my little rant, here is, as promised, one of our die hard fan stories. Remember, we'll be running these throughout qualifying, so if you have a story, send it in.

Until next time, Toggs out.

Mitchell's story

I was born on the day the Suns were eliminated from the baptism of fire. I first remember watching them in World Cup 66 as an eight year old, eyes glued to the TV. I've seen almost every world cup qualifier since.

As a civil war baby growing up in the outer suburbs of Newland*, life was pretty hard. My family never had much money, so I was never allowed to play football. A lot of the sport programs that exist today were never around in the post civil war days. So I was always going to be a spectator, although I always made a handy defender at school.

I saw my first Suns match live when I was sixteen. Blackrock Stadium. We won of course, it was World Cup 68. Next World Cup I determined to see the Suns on the road. I was hoping for World Cup 70, but had to make do with the Cup of Harmony instead. It was worth it, even if cost me an arm and a leg. I was earning very little at the time, and it took a considerable chunk of my savings.

I have tickets to see every home qualifying match of World Cup 71 live. I'd love to see the away games too, but the budget didn't stretch that far. I've already had to dig deep to pay for accommodation in Northport and Marion. I really hope the BFA don't decide to cut Blackrock (in Newland) from the calendar, or I'm going to be broke.

Of course, if the Suns do make it to the World Cup, I'm going to face a real dilemma. Seeing the Suns play in a World Cup would be the ultimate thrill. But I might need to sell the car to get there. I guess I can always earn the money again, but who knows when the Suns will qualify again.

*one of the hardest hit areas during the Barunian civil war, which happened at the same time as World Cup 64, the Suns WC debut.

ISideWith UK · by **Eastfield Lodge** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 8:34 am

Part 6 (& links to earlier parts)

Meanwhile, in the control room...

Tony Anderson was frowning at the monitor in front of him, trying to make sense of the data it was presenting. And at the same time, trying to ignore the automated Abnormality Detection System's constant beeping noise, also coming from said monitor. He sighed and called Robby over.

"What's up?" Robby inquired as he leant over Tony's shoulder and stared at the screen. "Something's up with the power readings, but I can't for the life of me find out what's wrong with them," replied Tony. "I mean, I can't see anything wrong, but the ADS popped up on screen and directed me here."

"It does that," Robby replied nonchalantly. "The ADS was designed to have a high sensitivity (OOC: identifying a problem as a problem), and as a tradeoff, it had low specificity (OOC: Normality not being identified as a problem). Bit like airport security, makes sure we check out any potential problem before it goes out of control."

"Well, I suppose it gives us something to keep occupied with, but isn't there some sort of reporting system for false positives?" Robby thought for a moment, before saying "It was considered, but the technicians who designed and implemented this program decided that there was just too high a risk of the system missing something important as a result of us telling it that it was OK."

Tony nodded, saying "That makes sense. Anyways, I've just managed to pull up the power feed readings. And the problem now seems obvious." It was now Robby's turn to frown. "OK, that's slightly worrying."
"What's so worrying about it?"
"The power feed, I've never seen it jump that low before, or for that long."
"And?"
"Well, you know very well that what's keeping the portal open is the Mount Salt Particle Accelerator, and in particular, the z-neutrino energy core that powers it. When it first went haywire and overloaded, we were lucky that a team from the Dreamed Realm helped us to stabilise it, and it's been producing power at roughly the same rate ever since - barring of course the times when half the commonwealth split and similar events. When those happened, the readings would periodically drop and rise back up for a while, but then the feed was restabilised at its former level after all the movements."

Tony thought about it for a moment, before asking "So, if the power were to drop like that for a longer period of time, what would happen?"

Robby stared at Tony, and answered "I don't know for sure, but I imagine that the portal's stability wouldn't last, and if it were allowed to degenerate past the theoretical critical limit, then there will almost certainly be devastating consequences for both sides of the void. Possibly similar to the situation in Ossidiacqua but on a much grander, and a much more catastrophic, scale."

At that moment, Robby turned around, found Jennifer Nilum, another of the new people who was busy at her monitor eating lunch, and asked her to pull up the data from the void sensors, corresponding to the same time frame as the power drop. The void patterns were still the same, except they weren't. Robby couldn't exactly put his finger on it, but the patterns were slightly distorted, he just had that sense that ... something was wrong.

But before he could elucidate his concerns, Jim and company arrived back from the cafe, and in that moment, his face gave away to them his obvious concern. In unison, they all looked at the screen, and each uttered the exact same thing at the same time.

"What?"

MD3: Eastfield Lodge 1-1 Mizuyuki - Qwivotic (71'); Kurugaya (32')
MD4: The Fallenmark Islands 3-4 Eastfield Lodge - TFI (45+2', 81', 89'); Graham (13'), Doctor (32'), Wadimu (51'), Bell Jnr (71')
MD5: Eastfield Lodge 5-0 Seventeen Syllables - Doctor (2' pen, 49'), Graham (16', 68'), Jagger (32')
MD6: Flardania 3-3 Eastfield Lodge - Yabuta (41', 60', 85'); Graham (19', 90+3'), Doctor (33')

Line-up for MD7 Eastfield Lodge vs. Electrum @ Lodger City Memorial Stadium: Quazin in for Wadimu at RM, Testerman in for Richardson at CB, otherwise usual Starting XI

by **The Royal Kingdom of Quebec** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 9:56 am

OOC: This is part 1 of the story.

Prelude, Part 1: 1978
Prelude, Part 2: Lucas

"Did you check l'instagramme lately, foul Romeo?" 6'1 tall, 208 pound heavy Tybalt Capp questioned Romeo Monty, as they engaged in a serious conversation regarding their business lately. The room was clinical in that its stale, clean and modern setting, but the atmosphere was as heated as it could've been. Tybalt was pissed. He wasn't happy that his brother-in-law, the man whom he always frowned as a lousy idiot, didn't take note of their arrival. This was particularly comic to SMS-exposed Tybalt, whose sister and Romeo's wife was also the Majority shareholder of L'Instagramme/Instagrama. "All those pictures, of them celebrating their entrance into our city, certainly don't mean nothing. Cartagena's back in town, and for good apparently."

"This ain't a fuckin' joke!" Tybalt shouted, as he grabbed Romeo by the centre of his shirt. Tybalt was a man of rigour and passion, so he wasn't going to deal with someone who dealt a news of such matter like a commoner who doesn't know shit. That's not something that he'd want to hear or expect from a man of their class.

"Yes, but since when they were of anything serious?" Romeo responded, trying to laugh it off as if he's not serious about what he'd just heard. A man of humour and relaxed comportment, he was used to hearing jokes on events that seemed too serious or unrealistic to believe in. So it was of no surprise when Romeo responded as such. "Older Cartagena died because he crossed his turfs. There is no way that a Guayabalense would repeat that mistake, unless he wants his reproductive organ bid adieu by a Gregoryisgodistani pervert chaser!"

"That's why he wants to be back, you idiot." Tybalt poked, right at Romeo's chest. He wasn't satisfied with the answer his /former/ enemy gave it to him, and he was too tired of dealing with same ole lack of seriousness Romeo provided. "He's moving to Montreal because it's where his father fell. He wants revenge, and Quebecois market's perhaps too lucrative to ignore. Transfer of whole staff and their families to Montreal indicate that they're here for good, and that they'll try their best to wrest control from us. The war is going to start sooner than later."

"The War?"

"Yes. The war that'll affect many, and will only get bloodier and bloodier over time." Tybalt said, his veins poking out of his neck. By this point, Romeo clearly understood what his brother-in-law had meant, and gathered his focus and seriousness back in track. Romeo, when actually serious enough to do his own thing, tended to do very well in whatever he went for. His focus was unparalleled and his brains complementing that, as long as he wasn't getting distracted.

Romeo then questioned Tybalt, "Alright. How many of his men are there in whole nation now? You cannot attempt to outdo unless you have some men or insiders to help with the operations. That's what Jose Cartagena didn't do. He seldom had any insiders or fellow people down the stretch, instead opting to keep the home base of San Salvador for his family. That certainly wasn't wise, considering how it led to his own death."

"Based on what I've heard from my soldiers and agents, they should be numbered with at least 1,000 across the country. A large number of them reside in Montreal but they're spread all across the city. It's probable that he will pick more affluent of neighbourhoods, so places like Westmount or NDG (Notre Dame de Grace) would be a good option for him."

"What shall we do then? Shall we strike them while we do so?"

"Sadly, we'll have to wait," Tybalt then sighed, as he stared into Romeo's dark, brown eyes. The 60-year old, now an elder himself, well knew what being the leader meant. He knew that what the old Mafias did simply wouldn't cut well anymore, unless there's reason to justify for brutality. They needed people's support, and the only way to do it was to find that, which wouldn't happen until the opponents declare the war. "They've yet to make any moves further than moving into the city. We, being the leading corporates and models of the city, will not behave like how our grandparents did, though that's something that I'd rather do in most occasions. At least we shouldn't be going for that yet."

................

"...the weather looks to be taking a turn for the worse today, as a massive rainstorm of around 30 centimeters, is set to hit the Montreal area in around an hour. All residents of Montreal and surrounding provinces are advised to remain indoors for the duration of the rainstorm, as powerful winds and lightning strikes are expected to strike any moment in any place...."

Gripping the book tightly in her weak but still functioning hands, the old lady eased herself from the couch. Willing his tired, aching body to obey, she slowly got her way to the wide, open window of his bachelor apartment overlooking the city of Montreal.

Atara Monty was very tired. It was one of those days when her body didn't function at all. It's getting worse every passing year, accelerating at an even faster pace since she hit 100. This was of no surprise to her however, considering how turbulent her life was.

Born to Jewish parents in 1915, Montreal, she grew up in a very busy household. The only daughter and eldest child out of 3 Goldfarb children, she had to join the restaurant at a very early and balance her work at her parent's delicatessen, the well-known "Goldfarb's Delicatessen", on top of school work. She was never the most academic or intellectual of minds, and often struggled to keep up with work.

Not that it bothered Atara anyway, as she would just follow what's a natural path for her: culinary management, starting from Goldfarb's Delicatessen. Shortly after graduation she fell in love with Patrizio Monty, who by then was helping as a second-in-command in the restaurant and serving as the leader of the Mangweoldang Gang with his buddy El Whirlo. They soon got married, took over and expanded the business from ailing Mr. Goldfarb.

The next fourty years were a long journey for them, and they had their own shares of positive and negative events and results. Their company slowly expanded from a small, three-floor building on a Downtown Montreal restaurant to a megacorporation that eventually went on to be the leading retails and FFR (family and franchise restaurant) giant in Quebec. For Monty, it meant the resurgence of his family, after 70 years of poverty and debt, whereas for Goldfarb it meant making the best of her passion in cooking. The family's riches increased exponentially and it was not long before their children, totaling four in number, were able to enjoy what their parents only dreamed of. They got what they want.

This, however, also came at the cost of peace and stability. Since it was expanding massively, along with Montys' involvement in the Mangweoldang and its drug business, they constantly had to deal with the security risks. It was not easy being a matriarch of Monty household those days, while also having to deal with constant pressure and threats thanks to the ever-lasting tension between them.

All for the money, and the feud....Atara thought to herself, as she looked into the stormy sky. The two decades of war, which began in 1958 and ended in 1978, took a heavy toll on her. The loss of both her brothers and two sons, including the favourite Claudio, only worsened her health to the point it's been like that for 40 years.

While Atara never heard much about the death of Angela Atholstan, she knew very well of his rivalry with Consort Capp from Day one. For her it was more to do with the class struggle, in that she disliked Capps' approaches to business and people. Their treatment of peasants, as well as ruthless but effective business model, disgusted her. Sure, Mangweoldang's business operations were brutal and cut-throat as well, but at least they tried to remain humane and reasonable. Capps simply didn't go for that. They wanted more.

That, on top of feud between the two business leaders and their gangs, caused Atara to join the war in fury. She was in charge of the household, as the mother figure of the family and the Mafia, and spent 40 years helping them develop and fight to destroy the Capps. It was only after Patrizio's death and her heir and favourite grandson Romeo's marriage to Juliette Capp that she stepped down. The War was now over, and for once she could move on to retirement.

Since then Atara's been resting in the house, still working on new recipes and personal cookbooks to keep up with her love of cooking. She was no longer involved in making any decisions for the family, though she kept up with the news of their progress and growing success. She's now mellowed a lot more, and became a warm, mellow-hearted great-grandparent to the children. The hatred remained strong and fiery, however, and she still refused to see most Capps. The four decades of feud and loss were simply too much for Atara to overcome.

"Would you like some tea, madame?" Pablo Torbellino, El Whirlo's grandson and a rising prospect in Mangweoldang, asked as he stood beside her. He was a well-groomed gentleman, with his manners well controlled and mind highly organised.

"That's okay, Pablo," She responded, as she continued looking into the stormy sky of the nighttime in cold, Summer Montreal. Then, she asked. "Did you sense anything interesting or bizarre, as of late?"

"Yes, madame," Pablo responded, with ever so honest words of his. This did not mean that he'd say the wrong things though, as he responded, "Lately things have been going bad with Canadiens. Once they were at 4th in the league, ten games later, they were out of the playoff picture. Then with weather it's rainier than it's ever been the past 10 years...."

"No. I meant about the news around a new arrival, led by a man of Consort Capp's violence and family history of ruthlessness."

"You mean Lucas Cartagena, madame? The so-called butcher of Santa Inés, and a FAS fan?"

"Yes, my dear Pablo."

"As much as I hate to say this, but this is true, madame," Pablo responded, with much fear in his voice. "He's in Montreal right now, with his mafia and family beside him. The whole arrival was captured on a footage by Santeri (Liutemini), who then reported this to your son, Mercutio. They're rumored to be on their way to set their first stone soon......"

by **The Royal Barangay** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 10:01 am

THE BARANGAYAN STAR
NATIONAL NEWS

LIBERTAD SPORTSWEAR ON HIATUS
Kit providers struggling to cope up with losses
by Roberto Lagro

SANGTI - Libertad Sportswear will close its doors to the multiverse - for now.

The company, with headquarters in Mogya, will undergo a hiatus from providing interested nations in ordering kits for their national teams. This was due to the losses Libertad suffered in the events following the explosions at their Mogya office, which took the lives of nineteen of their employees and destroyed their factory. After the explosions, the capacity of the company in making kits were limited, and losses generated from the explosions caused the owners of the company not to afford materials that will be needed to produce kits. Antonio de Palma, CEO of the company, will be looking for future investors, in order to keep the company from completely collapsing.

"Ganun talaga eh. Kapag nagkandaloko-loko yung production mo, eh malaki yung problema, kaya nagdesisyon kami na tama na muna. Hahanap kami ng mga pwedeng maging investors para masalba itong kumpanyang ito. (It's what happened. If production fucks up, then there will gonna be big problems, that's why we decided to stop. We will find potential investors to save this company.)"

Regarding the providing of the kits for the Barangayan teams, the CEO said, "Yung mga uniforms naman nila, pwede nilang gamitin ulit yun. Kung wala na talaga, eh pwede naman sila lumipat ng kit provider, tutal tapos din naman yung sponsorship namin sa liga, kaya pwede na ulit pumili ng provider yung mga team. (They can use their uniforms again. If there is no other option then they can switch kit providers, besides, our sponsorship to the league has ended so they are free to choose their providers again.)"

de Palma promised that the Libertad brand will be back soon and they will provide the best support for kits in the multiverse.

OOC Note: Shelved my current RP line, will go back to it at the second half of the qualifiers. Obviously Libertad will be temporarily closed, but once I become capable of using Photoshop again, then I could reopen the storefront come June.

by **The Sarian** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 11:49 am

Qualifying - The Story So Far

The Sarian 3–0 Peisandros
[Sarian Goalscorers: W. Peters, T. Janssen, C. Fuller]

It seemed almost poetic that the first qualifying game after the Bustards record-breaking cycle last time out would be played on a drizzly Thursday afternoon against what can be described as a non-team at best. Despite a slow start from The Sarian, a rare goal from captain, William Peters after a Rikard Pirlo corner gave the home team an advantage before the break. Goals from substitute, Turin Janssen and debutant, Cunobelinus Fuller added value to a mostly uneventful win, perhaps best summed up by the sixty-three percent position that The Sarian experienced.

Velstaende 1–3 The Sarian
[Sarian Goalscorers: M. Tunis, J. Lee (2)]

The Bustards' first away game of the cycle saw the side travel to two hundred and ninety-first ranked side, Velstaende. Despite the host scoring a goal in the closing moments of the game, it was another easy win for The Sarian, the first goal coming from Crompton City midfielder, Maxim Tunis just seven minutes in before Jordan Lee added a second and third to end the game within half an hour. Perhaps The Sarian may have chased a whitewash, but another strong display from the three sari midfielders left the travelling fans satisfied.

The Sarian 4–2 The Hakifao Federation
[Sarian Goalscorers: J. Yap (3), Y. Masters]

A hat trick from electric striker, Jacobo Yap stole the headlines as the Bustards poor performance went largely unreported against Baptism of Fire champions, The Hakifao Federation. The visitors took the lead after twenty minutes - a mistake from Ronan Ackland allowing Daniel Niemi to tap the ball passed Kasper Lorde in one of the easiest goals of the twenty-nine year olds career. However, a goal apiece from Jacobo Yap and Yeriyahu Masters, playing as a striker, ensured that it was the Bustards who went into halftime ahead. Bauer made two changed at half time, pulling off Ackland and the unusually quiet Meeuwessen for debuting pair, Shimshon Cory and Harvey MacNevin, leaving the visitors room to exploit the relative inexperience of The Sarian's lineup, Niemi scoring his second to level the scores just under the hour. If it wasn't for Yap, the story may have been different, but the Crompton striker added his second and third goal in quick succession to give The Sarian a comfortable, all-be-it unconvincing, win.

Patistan 0–1 The Sarian
[Sarian Goalscorers: L. Nittenpepper (p)]

If the poor performance against The Hakifao Federation went unnoticed, the equally bad showing against Patistan certainly didn't. First half red cards for both veteran midfielder, Gil Reis and energetic defender, Michael Stone left the Bustards with only nine-men with two thirds of the game to go, and if it weren't for Kasper Lorde making two dramatic penalty saves against calamitous Patistani striker, Shahid Shazib (who somehow was bought for over 35 million USD!), it could have been an embarrassing afternoon for the visiting side. However, a vicious tackle - that dubiously avoided giving Wasina Harggig an early bath - set the stage for Louie Nittenpepper to convert from the penalty spot with fifteen minutes on the clock to give The Sarian the victory in one of the dirtiest matches the Bustards have ever played in.

The Sarian 0–5 Vilita
[Sarian Goalscorers: None]

Disaster! Whether it was the fatigue of the Patistan match only three days before or a sense of overconfidence surfacing, the sting wasn't taken away from The Sarians record loss, and the first time the side had conceded five goals since their debut qualifying, twelve years ago and the first time at home. Despite the SFF partially-refunding tickets, the match will be remembered through history for a disgruntled fan telling reporters that "this match cost me fifty-five imperias, I could have seen better football at my local park for free".

New North Aqmuland 2–3 The Sarian
[Sarian Goalscorers: J. Yap, J. Lee, T. Bermudez]

It was with a sense of humility that The Sarian sang the National Anthem away at New North Aqmuland and although Wight Christiansen, standing in for the dropped Kasper Lorde, conceded twice it never appeared as if the Bustards position - set out early on thanks to an eleventh minute strike from Jacobo Yap - was under threat. Goals from Jordan Lee and Tiras Bermudez either side of halftime cancelled out both of the home sides strikes, both of which came within a six minute period on the half hour mark.

by **HopNation** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 12:09 pm

HopNation Sports
3-24HDT|15|v.083
WORLD CUP 71

Points
I guess you can say that we are at the very least getting points and no one in our group has a significant point lead. Sure it’s early and the gap can widen quickly if we don’t do something but at this point it would only take two wins to be top o’ the table. Yes, yes, that statement contains a bunch of hearsay and heavy assumptions of the other teams in our group. But look at it this way, we actually beat the current leader in our group and by a sizable margin too. So ipso facto we’re still tops in my book, we just plug along and we’ll be just fine.

I can’t take this anymore, that’s about all the positivity I can muster for today, if you can even call it being positive. We really looked like ass out there against Albagaria. Who? You ask. Albagaria, a Paedocypris in the middle of the swamp. You read that correctly a Paedocyprist, no minnow, a minnow would be to big. That team is tiny and should never been able to keep us with a goose egg on the score board. Perhaps we need some finishing practice before the next match because we took a total of 24 shorts and managed to out possess our opponents nearly 75%-25%. Based off of what they did in the BOF they came out in a 3-3-4 which one would think they would be easily exploited in the backs. One would also think they are rather attack minded but really they are only slightly attacking and if my notes are right they tend to play lob ball and run for the box. I would suggest that our coaching staff get some notes from San Llera before we meet up with these Paedocyprist again, especially since they were in the same group of that BOF and they were able to beat them. Albagaria could only manage one draw in the BOF with no wins and here in the World Cup Qualifiers they have managed to already match that and we are not even at the halfway point.

I’m nearly at a loss for words trying to comprehend our form. I was even thinking of starting to do player ratings for each game but I fear if I did that they would all have 1s after this match. Perhaps after the next game we can look into doing that. I almost forgot, I did hear a rumor that Coach Schmidt might be mixing things up for the second half if the Hops don’t turn things around before then. I overheard someone mention he might even drop some current players and pull from outside the practice squad and reach for players our other leagues just to spice things up. But we’ll see how that plays out, I’m not even sure he can do that. I’m sure he has his staff checking the rules to know what players he can choose from or announce based on the roster he submitted prior to the first match.

Okay then, I’m out.
Brew On! Brew Well!
Ringwald Griffinsmith
HopNation Sports Writer
Match Results
 Opponent	Meeting 1	Meeting 2
Palfania	0-0		
Starblaydia	4-0		
Nassau-Hessen	3-5		
Super-Llamaland	1-1		
San Llera	1-1		
Albagaria	0-0		
Lymantatia			
Hops are in: 4^th

by **The Sword Bloke** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 12:17 pm

SWORDEANS SHOCK WITH DRAW
The Swordeans have drawn 2-2 with Boring Paradise after 2 late goals for the Swordeans in World Cup 71 Qualifying. Haider Williams put Boring Paradise ahead after scoring a 19th minute penalty, which he received after John Antle tripped Snooby Armours in the box, with Antle receiving a yellow card from the ref. Armours then scored in the 52nd minute to add to Swordean woes, with Armours simply volleying the ball into net. But with 20 minutes to go, Jamie Haigh stuck his foot out from off the ground to put one back, and in the 83rd minute, Haigh again scored, getting a header in the top corner to make it a draw. Shop Owner said that performance was terrible early, and though we got back, our next game better be a good one vs Ko-Oren. That was his word.

by **Northern Sunrise Islands** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 12:33 pm

Season 6, Chapter 6: Big Boss(es)

Sunrise: I heard of flying Information, but that's ridiculous.
Prince Matthew: ...
Quebec: You can't be possibly serious that was the best joke you could come up with.
Tiki: That was weak.
????: I kud aford deaf ofer dis!
????????: I see you got my sisters...

The witch lowered a bit, smiling menacingly.

????????: However, I, Clentine Potter, the greatest witch of the faFictanian Castle, cannot allow you to continue!
???????: Typical. The one jealous of my sanity and knowledge.
Sunrise: Huh... odd name.
Knuckia: She kinda looks... too young to be a witch.
Prince Matthew: Agreed. Not to mention she's riding on her flying broom the wrong way.
Clentine: ...What do you mean, wrong way?
Prince Matthew: Well, you're supposed to put the wooden part on your front.
Clentine: Like thi- AAAH!

Clentine fell down, falling over a couple of books. One that was still flying ended up knocking her out.

Prince Matthew: Do you all fall for the cheapest tricks like that?
Sunrise: It seems like they do.
Tiki: Anti-climatic.
Knuckia: Anti-fun, for that matter! I was going to giver her a beating! Like... something that gives a beating to something weaker!
Quebec: You're not that bright, huh?
Knuckia: Watch your mouth.
Sunrise: He's being just honest.

They walked through the room, finding the fourth floor, where a man decked on a cowboy uniform but with a long, black hat. He was sitting on an old rusty chair. They could also see another man, also decked as a cowboy but without a cowboy hat, using sunglasses.

??? ???: Ian, you're taking too long fetching us a drink!
Ian Cage: Couldn't you wait, Ahn Lao? It's hard stuff to do when you forgot what drinks to mix to make a Lemon Twist!
Ahn Lao: Jeez. Don't you have them written on a book?

The group tried to sneak their way out, luckily not having a hitch of notice from the two weird men.

Ahn Lao: So. Where's Niu Kang?
Ian Cage: On the bathroom.

As another cowboy-decked man was getting out of the bathroom, he collided with a sneaking Sunrise. As he got up, he saw the man had a red bandana on his head.

Ahn Lao: Intruders!

Ian was almost shooting Sunrise with a gun, only for the gun to be taken out of his hand by a puck shot by Quebec.

Quebec: And he doesn't shoot!
Prince Matthew: Quick! Go to the next room, we can handle them!

Niu Kang shoots a fire blast towards Sunrise, only for him to dodge, sneaking his way into the next floor with the lantern on hand. Meanwhile, the three cowboys pose, preparing an attack towards Quebec and Prince Matthew, only to be sneak attacked by Knuckia, who sucker-punched Ian to the floor and Tiki, who, using speed, slammed Ahn Lao to the ground. The two then clothestlined Niu Kang to the ground, continuing their brawl. Sunrise wandered into the final floor, finding four thrones and a table in the middle of it.

Sunrise: So... what the hell is this?
???????: The final room! Just let our lantern stay at the middle and we'll be able to return to our corpses.
Sunrise: No wonder this place stinks of old flesh... Sheesh.

Sunrise placed the lantern, watching as the four souls dispatched from the lantern towards each throne. From each, rose a Princess. One vampire-esque, one elf, one furry and an actual human.

????: Weh're bak? Weh're bak!
?????: And now... we wait for our princes!
??????: Yes... Our princes...
???????: Sunrise, I think you and you group deserve proper payment.
Sunrise: ...I'm sorry, but I already have a girlfriend.
????: lol!
?????: That's silly. We're not waiting for simpletons like you!
Sunrise: That's... comforting.
???????: Anyway. I'm Flemien Marie. Head Princess of the Fafictanian Castle. These are Iboa, Fienna and Ameli.
Ameli: My pleasure.
Fienna: The Princess of the Silverstones thank you for your services.
Iboa: Da pleasure is yurs.
Sunrise: ...So... Who were those people that stopped us on our way?
Ameli: They're the other members of the Royal Family. Only four can lead, however, becoming the four princesses.
Sunrise: Or prince, considering those cowboys-
Prince Matthew: Who we beat!

The rest of the group arrived, a bit scratched from their brawl, but somewhat fine. Prince Matthew, the least scrapped of the group was on the front of them, smiling.

Prince Matthew: Oh, so it's more monarchs? Hello.
Iboa: ...I wand ur crawn!
Ameli: That is a pretty crown indeed...
Fienna: Get his crown!
Flemien: Enough! It's his crown, not yours! Now, now, later, we'll get shinier crowns for you.
Quebec: Heh, that was kinda fun.
Tiki: The joys of relevance and adventures...
Knuckia: And we won, that was the b- OW!

Knuckia opened his eyes tall, dropping from a low blow from an unsuspected Ian, still recovering from the fight.

Knuckia: M-my emeralds...
Sunrise: ...
Ian Cage: You just got CAGED! ...Oh, hey, sis. And sis. And sis. And sis.
Flemien: Now, you four will get a payment for your job. And you, Sunrise, I have a special prize for you.

Later, after the race.

Hodori: You won! It's like magic!
Sunrise: Yeah, the game controller attached to the car was pretty useful on the trip... But I had some extra help.
Felix: What kind?
Sunrise: Spiritual.

Sunrise smiled, looking at the lantern, glowing red on front of the car.

Prince Matthew: I thought we released the souls on the lantern, Sunrise.
Sunrise: Oh. Those were from the skeletons on the first floor. Flemien said she was disappointed with them.

by **Greater Watford** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 12:56 pm

After a great 2-1 win against Farfadillis, Greater Watford crashed back down to Earth against Carialus, losing 2-0 at home. This loss means Greater Watford need a good result in the final game of the first half, otherwise they face a tough fight for 1st or 2nd in the group.

Beating Farfadillis meant that the Hornets now had 3 wins in a row, and hoped to make it 4 in a row against Carialus. Early on, Greater Watford came very close when Mannetti's shot just skimmed the outside post, another few inches the other way and it would have been in. Peréz also had a good shot blocked by an equially godo save by Dhul Boulos.

Carialus would get the opening goal, midway through the first half. Patrick Dumont played William Frost through with a good through ball. Frost held off Warthon and Westberg, and drilled a shot into the net, with Watson unable to reach it. 0-1, and the crowd were disappointed. At half time, with the score 0-1, the teams seemed balance, but Carialus had the quality in the finishing department.

Greater Watford came out with a more attacking play in the second half, but Dhul Boulos was impressive in goal. To try and spark a change, Lanzo replaced Peréz, the young striker teaming up with Watford FC teammate Mario Mannetti. The ocmbination brought more venom into the attack, but the finishing was poor.

Carialus got the second goal, from an effective counter attack. Lelek broke down the wing, seeing off Franks. The ball was crossed into Frost, who's intital header was blocked by Westberg on the line. The deflection fell to Lelek, who shot from a narrow angle, but was able to score, a goal that certainly impressed the away fans.

It finished 0-2, leaving Greater Watford with work to do before their away game at Stvoto Latoli. This game will also see Mario Mannetti become the first Greater Watfordian to reach 100 caps. Hopefully it will be a game to remember for him, and for Greater Watford.

Leavesden Rovers FC

Established in 72BU under the name Leavesden FC, Leavesden Rovers FC have a long history in the world of football. One of the early teams to actually be affiliated with a town, Leavesden became known as the Rovers in 66BU when they amalgamated with the local sides who struggle to compete with them.

63BU saw Leavesden Rovers FC becoming founding members of the ICFF, and participated in the Inter City Cup and the Gold Cup. Their first major success came in 60BU, when they won the Gold Cup. A year later, they won the Inter City team, joining the Big 3 in winning both tournaments. They were also founding members of the Eastern Alliance, and were one of the strongest teams in the division.

In 42BU, Leavesden Rovers found themselves ranked 8th nationally, and were thus invited to become a founding member of the GWNFA Super League. Unfortunately, when it came to kit allocations, their traditional green was taken, and they had to swap to orange, to the disappointment of their fanbase. This later evolved into an amber kit, with a bold red stripe along the front.

Leavesden Rovers FC never challenged the Big 3, but also never suffered any serious threat of relegation. They were often seen as a stalwart in the East, competing for that recognition with local rivals Leverstock Green Rovers FC. Leavesden Rovers also voted against expelling St Albans City FC and Hemel Hempstead FC from the GWNFA Super League in 23BU, something the neutral fans respected.

Leavesden Rovers FC were 3rd in the Repechage, and looked confident going into the new era, with a return to their classic green and white stripes. Seasons 2 and 3 saw them finish 2nd in the League, and their fans were confident. Then, in Season 4, they took their first ever title, and followed it up with success in Season 5. Unfortunately, the team seem to fall apart in Season 6, and they narrowly avoided a shock relegation. They recovered to 6th in Season 7, as they look to rebuild.

Kits: For Season 8, the green and white stripes are offset with a smart golden trim. The away kit is gold with green and white flashes, a quirky design, breaking tradition of some of the more simplistic designs.

Prospects for Season 8: Leavseden Rovers still have much of their title winning squad, but the team is getting older, and recovery is taking time. They could make the UICA places, but it will be a tough challenge for them to do so.

Prediction: 5th

Team vs Stvoto Latoli

Code: Select all: GK 1 Kendrick Hannon DEF 2 Jonny Gregor DEF 3 Elmo Dowling DEF 13 Keven Sproull DEF 16 Osvaldo Current MID 6 Tommy Deer MID 18 Peter Tilder MID 8 Garry Oldfen ATT 9 Mario Mannetti ATT 10 Ignacio Peréz MID 7 Aaron Smith Subs: GK 12 Gordon Watson DEF 15 Armando Westberg DEF 5 Ryan Franks MID 11 Samuel Harris MID 19 Rueben Mcbee ATT 28 Cameron Rastersson ATT 21 Lorenzo Lanzo

by **United States of Devonta** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 1:42 pm

A Game Well Fought
^{Devontans manage a draw against a higher ranking team}

United States of Devonta 3-3 Holy Republican Empire

United States of Devonta (4-4-2 Diamond): Cooper, Brooks, Benton, Kindred, Liam, Russell, Abdullah, Edwards, Owens, Johansen, Adams

Quick Stats:
42% Possessions, 11 Shots, 8 on goal
58% Possessions, 14 Shots, 9 on goal

Scores:
Johansen (39'), Adams (67'), Benton (88')
Bolton (9', 82'), Lukic (53')

CAUTIONED: ----NONE----
EJECTED: ----NONE----

Table:

P Group 19                                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Brenecia                                  5    3   2   0    11    4   +7    11
2 Estope                                    5    2   3   0     7    2   +5     9
3 Holy Republican Empire                    5    2   3   0     9    6   +3     9
4 United States of Devonta                  5    2   2   1    10    5   +5     8
5 Timbermunich                              5    2   1   2     3    4   −1     7
6 Ekoz                                      5    2   0   3     2    6   −4     6
7 Lons                                      5    0   2   3     3   10   −7     2
8 Nikolaos                                  5    0   1   4     2   10   −8     1

by **Schottia** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 1:43 pm

Resituated

introduction Part two Part three
Part four Part five

Part six: A late night strole.

Gary hadn't found sleep and was unlikely to do so. He looked down at Chloe nestled beneath his covers, sleeping soundly. He wondered if he should wake her and ask if she had meant to fall asleep. Was she was fixed for getting home in time for her match tomorrow? No he needed to try and play it cool, just for once in his life he needed to play it cool. This was always where it went wrong, if it even got this far, his pedantry and nitpicking scared women off. He needed to learn to relax in relationships. Did he want to be an old man living alone? Sitting in his living room drinking homebrew and shouting at Question time? That was no way to sign out of this world. And it could very well happen, make no mistake; the way things were headed, living alone into old age was a distinct possibility.

What made matters worse was the fact that his job had such a low retirement age; he'd be lucky to make it past thirty-five. Then what? Coach? Management? Hah! He almost said it out loud: he didn't have the bottle for that. Where most people looked forward to retirement, he dreaded it. He would be left with nothing, pensioned off before he'd even reached his prime. Thrown on to the scrap heap of life, it would be daytime TV and the pub at lunch time. He would come home to microwaved dinner's which he would be too tipsy to heat through or eat.

Could he almost go as far as to say; this was his last chance? Was Chloe his last chance? She seemed different, grounded somehow. She had her head screwed on tightly, where as his was not. Wired to the moon, as his Mum would say. He needed something like this in his life; he needed to leach off of her confidence.

He slipped out of bed gently and padded through to the kitchen. The clock on the wall said 04:30. He wasn't drunk or hungover, or even tired, he was just thirsty. He leaned against the kitchen counter and drank down two mugs of water. There was little chance that he was going to get any sleep tonight now, not much point. He stood pondering, wandering what to do for best. Should he go back to bed, he could lie awake beside Chloe, enjoy the warmth. He could also put the TV on, just sit up, maybe even make a pot of coffee if he felt so inclined: In for a penny in for a pound.

He seriously couldn't care less how the game went tomorrow, how his debut with Marionville might pan out. He didn't even know who they were playing. So what? It was only going to last a short while anyway, then he would be shipped off back to New Edom like a modern day slave.

He could run away? He had considered it before, he had done that much. He even had a rough idea where he would go. He had always had half a mind to own a narrow-boat, traverse the canals, and inland waterways, just be content by himself, with his own company.

There you go again; yourself yourself yourslef. It's always "my life sucks" or "I'm lonely" then a chance comes along and you plead for solitude. What is it going to be?

If you must ask, it's going to be

If you must ask, it's

What? What is it going to be?

Gary needed to go for a walk, he needed to clear his head. If only he had a pound for every time he had cleared his head with a depressing whining whimpering walk in the wee small hours.

He pulled his trousers on. They were sat at the bottom of the couch where he had taken them off upon he and Chloe's somewhat steamy return at the flat. He smiled at the memory of them taking his bike back from the station, two drunken young people trying to find a way to cycle back together. Fun, that's what he should be having more of. It would be a good memory, but for now he needed to figure things out. Gary lifted his coat from the hook behind the door. It was either be alone right now or die alone; that was the choice he faced.

'Where are you going?' Said a croaky voice, just as he had the door handle in his hand. 'What time is it? Is everything okay?'

Chloe was stood in the jam of the door through to his bedroom, her face contorted sleepily as she tried to adjust to the light. It had presented Gary with a problem as to what to say.

'I couldn't sleep. I, eh, thought a breath of air would help.' It wasn't quite a falsity.

'Really, hmmm... Okay.' She replied giving a little shiver of tiredness before walking to the sink and filling a glass of water. It gave Gary a chance to take in her form. She carried the glass over to the couch and pulled her dress back on to keep the cold air off her skin.

The flat was a bit cold, Gary could have stuck the heating on, but since she never asked he though he would save on the electricity. Gary was left clinging to the door handle feeling an enormous amount of guilt. He had been in this exact position several times before when his ex-girlfriend Karen had caught him sneaking out on one of his weird walks at funny hours of the night. She had been so unaccepting of his weirdness, fought against him at every turn. It had just left Gary even more depressed and forced him to tunnel deeper inside himself.

'Hang on.' Chloe said eventually draining her glass of water and getting back up. 'I'll come with you. I think a good old head clear is just what I need.'

World Cup 71 - RP Thread

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