Copa Rushmori XIX - Everything Thread

[Vjaalsburg]

Eagles Nil, Taeshan One - Rapid Reaction
Vjaals Lose Rushmori Debut, Offense Quiet

Where the heck were you, Magnus Ericcson?

I'm sure that was the question many a fan was asking as the Blue Eagles failed to break through the proverbial Taeshani wall. While the attacking midfielders weren't exactly stellar, they were at least serviceable and certainly better than the absentee captain of Vjaalsbürg, so poor that the striker was replaced by Simon Wictorssen in the second half. Unfortunately, the offense's gaffes meant that a stellar defensive effort against a better team, particularly from Andreas Olsen, was squandered, and the Vjaals will be forced to take three points off New Ponyville to have any sort of hope at the group lead.

Things began as a Vjaal-Taeshani encounter was largely expected to begin. The Purple Knights trotted out their standard formation, a 4-3-1-2 that came close to making sense but quickly folded into a 4-4-2. Our Blue Eagles, looking anything but overmatched, opted for the standard 4-2-3-1 with Andreas Olsen in the back.

Things started dreadfully. Taeshan was due to kick off, and Llana, after receiving the ball, rolled a pass to a breaking Fauejeau on the right flank. Fauejeau feinted by Oscar Nyman and quickly crossed it. Sara Jönsson made to intercept it, but her clear ricocheted off of a sprinting Alex Guggenheim for and the Taeshanis continued the attack. While the Blue Eagles held out, something was soon to happen, and eventually Fauejeau sent a pass by Sara Jönsson, and it was McDrew who outran Kevin Kristiansen for it.

Except his shot went sailing over the crossbar, and Olsen managed to get it out of the Eagles' half for the first time in eight minutes. Despite this, Taeshan continued to gobble up passes and stay out of the Eagles' reach, and it looked like things would keep that course with the attack's sluggish play. Things trended towards Vjaalsbürg's, but the attack, despite a few dangerous-looking runs, continued to falter without a capable striker at front. The game went back and forth, but it was still nil-nil and the Blue Eagles had a decent chance at winning it all.

And then, with six minutes to go, somebody let Brett Toulanlan into the box. It probably wouldn't have been too bad - after all, he was shielded behind Kristiansen and most likely offsides - but everyone's attention was focused on the right wing, which was barely keeping Taeshan out of the small box, and somehow he barely went noticed.

Still, things wouldn't have been too bad, but a cognizant Ying Uing aimed his shot off the right post instead of towards the goal. A sliding Andreas Olsen couldn't get to it in time, and Toulanlan managed to put his cleat on the ball before it skipped out of bounds, deflecting it cleanly by the keeper. One-nil.

Worse yet, Taeshan managed to add pressure. Karl Llana made a sweeping pass into the box, and Andreas Haugen, trying to stop a second goal, swept Toulanlan's legs from beneath him. Haugen got away relatively scot-free with a yellow rather than a well-deserved red, but Grant Fauejeau was stepping up for a penalty kick anyways, a shot that would make it two - nil and seal three points for the Purple Knights.

But this was not that shot (we'll talk about it later. Ugh). Fauejeau's shot sailed over the crossbar, and Vjaalsbürg went into the half still down one-nil: not the best scenario, but far from the worst.

At the half, Anders Walquist decided to shake things up, bringing in twenty-year-old Simon Wictorssen for his first cap to replace the ineffable Magnus Carlssen, who was abnormally abyssal.

But it was for naught. The second half was a twin of the first, the Blue Eagles never really seriously getting close to a goal and mostly holding the Taeshanis out of their goal as well.

Well, except for one time.

It was the seventy-third minute. The Taeshanis had just slammed a shot over the crossbar, and the goal-kick sailed to Rupert Anderssen, on the right wing. Anderssen caught it on his chest, spun, and fired a cross-field bullet to the vicious Johannes Larsen, who caught it on his left knee, dribbled around Gabriel Gorzon, and crossed it to the newcomer, Wictorssen. It was his first cap and first real shot at the net, but the young striker made the right call and quickly passed back, getting Sebastian Lindberg a good three seconds to shoot. Lindberg was a foot to the left of the penalty dot, and he drew a foot back and kicked.

Wictorssen shouldn't have passed in retrospect. Lindberg should have-

He drew his foot back...

Rupert Anderssen darted, still onsides, around Flynn Parker...

He should have passed to Anderssen-

And he hesitated for a fraction of a second, then stayed the course despite the fact that Corzon was getting awfully close...

Heshouldhavepassedheshouldhavepassedheshouldhavepassed-

And the ball rocketed off his foot...

Everybody knows what will happen next-

And over the crossbar. Immediately twitter was clogged with epigram after epigram about how it was similar to Fauejeau's penalty kick. The same hesitation. The same trajectory. The same type of player.

Except Fauejeau won.

Around the Team in Eighty Days - A Mini-Series

CHAPTER ONE - The Defense

Vjaalsbürg defense is gritty and uncompromising, willing to pick up cards if it means the ball will stay out of the net (just ask Haugen), and, in recent years, not actually that good. Sure, they've a vicious counterattack, and yes, they are still gritty and uncompromising, but tactically, they're not great, and nor is the talent to stick themselves to an attacker there.

At goalkeeper, Andreas Olsen is a spot brighter than most. He's quick, versatile, and always ready to hit the ground. Olsen is an all-around good keeper, possibly one of the best Vjaalsbürg or any former Llamanean Union nation, barring the Llamaneans, has ever had, although you'd be hard-pressed to call him world class. Olsen's backups Sven Lindberg and Isak Nilsen are equally jack-of-all-trades, as the Vjaal youth programs tend to emphasize ways to get better at faults and to completely neglect strengths, although Olsen is still better than either and should play the entire tournament.

The four fullbacks are rather different. Part of their not-working-together issue seems to stem from the fact that Andreas Haugen and Kevin Kristiansen are both the most vocal leaders on the team, and both have different ideas on how Vjaal defense is done. Playwise, Haugen is a solid left back who is a good tackler and better man-marker, and Kristiansen is a sweeper or a hanging-back defender. Alex Svensson, a solid passer and ball-carrier on the right is most likely to participate in a counter, while Sara Jönsson is a true center-back, far more so than Kristiansen, who tends to play aggressively when possible and drop back when not.

The substitutes, however, often change the dynamic completely. Rupert Andersson (different from Rupert Andersen, a midfielder), Erik Sorenson, and Sofia Karlsson are all fairly inexperienced - they've a combined eight caps, including Sorenson's late-game appearance for carded Andrea Haugen - but all three have talent on the defensive side of things and could easily get late-game minutes.

Part Two - Halfbacks

[Polar Islandstates]

OOC:
I mis-copied the scores for Group F, but correctly copied the table. The table was correct, the scores were not. Previous posts are being edited to amend this mistake, but for the sake of clarity, here they are again:

1  Sargossa                  1   1  0  0    3   0  +3    3
2  Isula ĝe Ru               1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
3  Salchar                   1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
4  Eastern Sunrise Islands   1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
5  Pasarga                   1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
6  The Kytler Peninsulae     1   0  0  1    0   3  −3    0

[Pravenna]

THE BRINEMOUTH HERALD
COPA RUSHMORI ROUNDUP
by Theodora Kenway

. . . while in Sogne, Zenic were held to a scoreless draw by Pravenna in a dire match.

"Hah! Half a bloody sentence in the Herald back home, we're worth. Still, not bad for a first proper international."
Frida Schmidt had taken some time to get used to such low expectations. After all, her support of the Terns rarely plunged to such depths. "You were unlucky not to scrape a win, Mr. Katsaros," she said diplomatically. And it was true in a sense. The men in red had dominated the game but largely faltered in the final third - a couple smart saves from Andreou helped. But the best chance of the game did fall to the Lions, where a drilled cross from makeshift right wingback Zoe Merochite was taken neatly on the inside of the boot by Isadora Xenophon. A decent first touch by the left, and she rifled it with her right, but Sagan got down well to put a hand to it and tipped it against the post, where Yasif cleared it out for a corner that came to nothing. It was the second of Pravenna's four shots, and the only one to hit the target.
The Herald was right. It had been a dire game. But the Lions kept solid, compact and disciplined for ninety minutes against a largely superior team. Nothing to feel disgraced by, for the likes of a minnow like Pravenna.

Spirits in the Pravennan camp seemed high as well. But what was most pleasing of all was that, at last, the locals were starting to interact with the immigrants, in often-broken Greek or English. This was particularly important in defence, where Rouphos (one of the few patriots of the team) had to sweep behind and communicate with someone like Tzavaras, who was about as Greek as chips and gravy. Xenophon and Taskasaplidis were linking up well, Charisteas (who was by far the best bilingual in the team) was proving a universally-admired captain, and they'd garnered enough respect that Constantine was even taking questions from a plucky local journalist.
It was remarkable how a straightforward, but strong defensive performance against a decent team seemed to have revitalised a camp.
There was one problem left. Their next opponent.

Constantine Katsaros had been in the stands of the Farham Arena when Nephara, then New Sideburn, played Sicoutimont. They took a quick 2-1 lead, then Portia Thrift concussed herself crashing against a goalpost. Sicoutimont eventually won the match 5-2, and replacement goalkeeper Kurtis Fitzmarten was never capped again. They went on to lose the reverse fixture 7-0, their largest defeat to date, and as yet it had gone unavenged.
(As a galling postscript, Brenecia hadn't lost to Sicoutimont in four matches.)
So in a way, it wasn't his former homeland Katsaros looked to avenge next match - it was Nephara whose honour he wished to redeem, with this patchwork of lower-league journeymen and local semi-professionals.
By the same token, the prospect of defeat loomed large over their head. The bookies weren't giving them much hope, and who could blame them?
Still. He'd spoken to his older players, and they were all prepared to play another match - why change a system that had kept a clean sheet?
And, hell... if they won this match...
He'd burn that bridge when and if he came to it. For now, all he wanted was to lose gracefully and respectably.

[Electrum]

Centralis Herald - Sports Section - Luke Williamson

Five goal stomping over Oberour Ar Moro

Electrum, known for their consistency in losing to teams ranked higher than them has managed a five goal stomping over Oberour Ar Moro, which will surely lift the spirits of the team. The first three days of competition will be a three course meal of the lowest ranked teams in the group for Electrum, and we hope that Electrum will devour them all. Up next comes Dixhuitiles and Polar Islandstates, two teams who are in the top ten in the Rushmori regional rankings. Maybe things will be different next time round, as Electrum will hopefully be able to scrape a draw from either one of these two if they are to have a chance to advancing to the next round.

The Electrumites were in control of the game from beginning to end, finding holes in the Oberour Ar Moro(an?) defense left right and centre, in the end having a 68% possession rate. It was an utter show of dominance for the semi-amateur team who are playing one of their last tournaments that they will ever play together, with a lot of retirements to be expected at the end of the Copa Rushmori. Offside traps were just one of the techniques used by the Electrumite team to reinforce their iron clad defence. But, it could have been better. Missed opportunities from Krane and inaccurate kicking from Ingram cost the team a few goals. Krane kicked three through the goal, and Cozzo and Lynn-Peters also scoring one each to make it five. Up next comes Norrehavn and Alianza Albos.

Maybe, just maybe, the Electrumite team can use this final competition as a way of proving themselves to the Electrumite public. A soon-to-be established E-League will be the source of new players, and young football players are coming through the pipeworks as potential recruitments for the national team. It'll be a good time for Electrum football, and if the team plays their cards right in the next few games, then that profile will improve, hopefully stealing some viewing shares/popularity from Aussie Rules, which is still the most dominant code of football in the land.

[Mapletish]

Through My Eyes - Denis Veum

Got myself picked for one of the most exciting job in my long, exhausting, maybe glorious career since retiring from association football just last year. Yes, I'm picked as the Team Liaison Officer for the Maplish squad that will be here for the Copa Rushmori. I half expected myself to get this job since I applied for it with my extensive knowledge on the Mapletish Union. I grew up in Mapletish and learnt the language and culture of the Union. It has an excellent education system if you ask me, even if there seems to be a slight occurrence of over-loading, the students were happy and excited to learn. (Probably one of the areas that the Federation can improve on? Or is it just me? I think it's me.Not risking my job here.)

If my slowly degrading brain cells doesn't fail me, the last time Mapletish travel to the Federation for the Copa Rushmori, they finished third in their group on a 1-2-1 record, overcoming Michael VII on the last matchday of the group stage in what was named the "Causeway Challenge"? (Sorry, I just couldn't understand Southerners' logic. Blame it on the isolationism that we all face being established so far north of Rushmore.) So this time round I should be anticipating a full senior team squad that will pick up the shattered glass pieces that were left on Valhallan soil or should I say ice.

To my utmost astonishment, it was nothing of that sort. A young team appeared out of the Arrival Hall led by a much more matured looking man and I suppose that gentlemen was Henrik Oswald, the "Youth Specialist". I must really say they all look so much younger than me and guess what, the younger players in the squad are 18 years younger than me, imagine my age now. (Yes, you guess it right, I am nearing my forties and there you have it, my footballing career has indeed lasted so long. BUT, sadly it has only ranged between two countries, the Valhallan Federation and the Mapletish Union.)

I was given instructions to keep the team comfortable during their stay in the Federation and the full autonomy to do whatever I want with them. (What freedom! Yipee ...) Manager Oswald requested that we book into a hotel first before touring Franz Josef City, the capital city of the Federation. Of course I do wonder how the Mapletians felt like when everywhere you go, you hear the latest hits playing along the streets. (But it's the appreciation for our local arts scene isn't it?) So the Mapletish's team first meal in the Federation? It's our cakes and pastries of course. Isn't it the type of food that we pride ourselves by? As an added incentive, I got them one of the best coffeehouses in town. (And yes I pay for some of their expenses in the Federation right from the pockets of FPIFA.)

After filling their stomachs and bringing them around the city, it's time to get down to business, a game of football or two with the locals. I brought them on a Rotmettransit ride to the home ground of East Franz Athletic. (Yes, yes, yes. I am being very biased here because I'm really a kin supporter of East Franz Athletic) I managed to book the practice ground for some football practice with the main office and the Lions get the privilege to train on the one of the most prestigious grounds of Polarian football, the training grounds of East Franz Athletic. The team was joined by several members of the East Franz squad and they had a mini-kick about with amongst themselves. It's definitely a good way to kick off the jet-lag, if any at all, before they continue their journey in the Federation.

The visiting Mapletians are really warm and friendly. So what's next? Cheering them on of course!

- Veum

[Darmen]

OOC: Since the Olympic football tournament overlapped with this tournament for the first matchday, Tor Tong Lee, Bryan Faulkner and Kimi Siesman would have been unavailable for the team in the Copa, as well as all players under 23. Now that the Olympics are over for the All Greens, the full squad will be available for selection. The lineup for the Darmen vs. Sicoutimont match would therefore have been thus:

3-5-2
------------------Schreier-------------------
--------Adan--------Rydzik--------Vue--------
---Cormio---Turko---Salapu---Son---Ramirez---
----------Autitore-----------Gregio----------

Dark Day for Darmeni Football
Olympic Team loses to Nova Anglicana in Round of 16, weakened Senior squad loses Copa opener

Darmeni football fans were treated to a rare treat, two All Greens matches on the same day. While the event used to be a regular occurrence, it now only happens during the Commonwealth Cup. However, in that case, Darmen normally utilizes a "C" squad for its matches against the various Semi-Autonomous Regions and First Nations, as well as the four sovereign states within the Commonwealth. In the latest example of two matches being played simultaneously, fans were able to watch "B+" and "A-" sides take the pitch.

Granted both teams lost.

Darmen's Olympic dream, a Gold medal in football, has yet to be acheived (in fact, as this point, it's safe to say that the DSF will take any color medal, even a Semifinal appearence). Darmen's loss to Nova Anglicana in the Round of Sixteen once again denies the younger All Greens a trip to the Quarterfinals. Over aged player and Captain, Tor Tong Lee, was the only scorer for Darmen on the day. However, his lone goal was not enough to make up for the shoddy defending of the young back line, and Darmen lost 2-1.

In the Copa Rushmori XIX group stage opener against Sicoutimont, things weren't much better. In fact, they were worse. Without offensive stalwarts in Lee and Faulkner, the All Green's offense struggled to move the ball forward. For much of the match, Darmeni possession was centered around midfield, as the Darmeni midfielders struggled to find a path forward against a strong Sicoutimont defense. One positive that can be seen from the match of course is that for the most part, the Darmeni midfielders kept the ball for large chunks of time, limiting the amount of turnovers they conceded.

Striker Sergio Autitore scored Darmen's only goal on one of the few occasions where Darmen did manage to get forward. After threading a pass through two Sicoutimont defenders to fellow forward, Roberto Gregio, Gregio decided that a quick 1-2 was the best option. After drawing two defenders, Gregio passed back to Autitore, whose run into the box had gone completely unmarked. After receiving the pass, Autitore was free to take the Goalkeeper on alone, and easily shot past a charging keeper who looked unsure of whether he should go low for the block or stay large. Autitore chose to shoot low, while the keeper was somewhere in the middle of a dive and a leap.

Meanwhile, on defense, you could almost say things were worse than on offense. Minus Nur al Din Lambert in the DM position he plays so well, the Darmeni back three reverted to their old ways, looking utterly confused at what they were supposed to do when the Sicoutimont attack came at them. Meanwhile, backup Goalkeeper Brad Schreier was slaughtered by the Sicoutimontian's shooting prowess, allowing three of the seven attempts on goal to ruffle the net.

It is hoped that for Darmen's next match against a very strong Mapletish side, the inclusion of the four missing starter's in the lineup will propel Darmen to victory. There are some questions about Mapletish's defense after they gave up two goals to a weak Dutch Semarland. Meanwhile, it will be interesting to watch the effect of al Din Lambert and Kimi Siesman on the defense for Darmen, especially after Mapletish scored three goals in their opening match.

[Kernansquillec]

Kernansquillec's Squad for the 19th Copa Rushmori

General Information
Kernansquillec has a rich history on the global footballing stage. After rejoining the international scene at the 68th World Cup with a squad made up from players who had just emerged from within Kernansquillec's new First Division, founded in 2056, just 25 years after the end of the Great War that had brought an end to Kernansquillecan football in 2020.

Kernansquillec was back and back with a bang. Finishing third in their qualifying group with a team made up of inexperienced players saw them get a well deserved playoff tie. However the dream was not to be.

Performances at Copa Rushmori 18 and the Di Bradini Cup 31 have shown that this Kernansquillecan side was no fluke. They have what it takes to become a very good team. However, performances during qualifying for World Cup 69 were disappointing and it is widely speculated that if Rachael Sandheart does not impress at the Copa, she will be given the sack.

As a team, Kernansquillec like to play forward going football with a style modifier of +3.0 in a 4-2-3-1 formation. All players in the squad play their football in the KERFA league system and have experience for World Cup qualifying.

Kernansquillec are known to fans as the Green and Whites, the Kers or the Green Stallions. A big number of fans follow the team around and football is really more of a religion in Kernansquillec than a pastime. If Kernansquillec are playing at least one of the stands will be green.

Kernansquillec are ranked 96th in the KPB rankings (22nd in Rushmore).

--- FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE NATIONAL SIDE PLEASE FEEL FREE TO VISIT THEIR FACTBOOK BY CLICKING HERE ---

Starting XI

P.Lilac
M.Iris   A.Noupen (©)   Z.Poutre
L.Käufer   I.Zorm
J.Yegos   S.Kellah   J.Dubois   M.Cressac
K.Ellysa (GK)

Substitutes

H.Ferly (GK)   K.Stoke   C.Winter   S.Quaby
J.Fengouli   K.Carrac   R.Lebeau

Squad Information

Coming soon!

The Coaches

Rachael SANDHEART, Manager
The first ever female coach of the national side, Rachael has been until recently a figure of authority in the international set-up. Hand picked by KERFA after impressing managing the semi-professional New Southampton before the new league system was set up, the 43 year old is famed for wanting a high pressing game with mobile attacking unit. Accurate and fast passing is key. Expect her to set up the team for free-flowing attacking football. Her time may soon be up however: a sub-par performance at the Copa Rushmori may well mark the end of her reign.

Amelia VAN DER PON, Assistant Manager
The faithful assistant of Sandheart was also at New Southampton before they turned professional. Her future is also in the balance.

Set-piece takers

Captain: Adélaïde Noupen
Vice-captain: Silvio Quaby (Third: Dubois)
Penalties: Peter Lilac (if shoot-out: 2. Poutre 3. Noupen 4. Cressac 5. Iris 6. Käufer)
Free-kicks: Peter Lilac (reserve: 2. Poutre 3. Noupen)
Corners: Zac Poutre (reserve: 2. Fengouli 3. Noupen)

The Kit
The Kernansquillecan kit is tailored by K Kits. If you are interested in ordering your own product, please feel free to TG Kernansquillec.

(Home - Away)

RP Stuff

Choose my goalscorers Yes
Godmod scoring events Yes
RP injuries to my players Yes severity up to me
Godmod injuries to my players Yes within reason
Hand out yellow cards to my players Yes
Hand out red cards to my players Yes no Godmod please
Godmod other events Yes within reason

The Fixtures

(22nd) Kernansquillec 0-0 Valladares (8th)
(22nd) Kernansquillec vs Taeshan (5th)
(31st) New Ponyville vs Kernansquillec (22nd)
(22nd) Kernansquillec vs Bissone (UR)
(UR) Vjaalsburg vs Kernansquillec (22nd)

Scorers
None

Additional Notes: Please Read
Sorry for the late post, RL's been very demanding the last month or so. Hoepfully some RPs will follow. I'll be updating my factbooks and adding the details to the roster tomorrow so bare with me, this is a WIP. o/

[Polar Islandstates]

"Well we're up here in the gods of The Forge as the last bars of the rousing national anthem fade away, and-... well, it's not so much the gods, I suppose. My head is dodging rafters and I'm still at knee-height to the players on the pitch, it feels like. This is a tremendously small stadium to be watching the Terns in. I can't remember the last time I watched the Terns in anything like this size of a stadium, Henning?"

"Aye, well, I must admit I've played in some small stadiums for the Terns during my time but this, particularly in this modern era we find ourselves in now, is particularly notable for its incredible size. This is a new stadium, it's very nice of course, situated on the outskirts of the town with an impressive view out over the hills that surround the town, but our attention is not on the view today, oh no. It's on the pitch a the players and on the stands opposite. There is just a wall of navy and white across from us here. It's a stadium constructed basically of two long stands, as you'll be seeing from these pictures, of just over one and a half thousand fans in each, and they are absolutely crammed with Twitchers."

"Absolutely, Henning. Supposedly the delegation of Dixhuitiles were offered thirty-five percent of the the tickets for this match. Now, that should be about a thousand or so of them but I am telling you now, people; the Dixhuitiles supporters are situated to the right and in front of our commentary box here at The Forge and there is nothing like that many here."

"And there just seems to be something that little extra about this support when you cram them into a space so small as this."

"Indeed. It's thanks to the celebrations over the signing of the Sutherland Treaty that we're here at all, of course, and it will certainly be different to see the Terns playing in these smaller stadiums, with a visit to the Nasjonale only guaranteed if they reach the final in their quest to defend their title on home soil. If you can hear me at home over this noise from the Twitchers, and I can barely hear myself think they're that loud and that close to us, then as the captains shake hands and exchange pennants in the centre-circle with the officials I'll just run through the line-up Rasmussen has selected. It is as the squad selections suggested: Ulsletten, then a back four of Küngas-Vaga, Nordenberg, Otkupshchikov, and Jansen, with Holzhauser sitting in front of them. The central midfield is Konigstein and young Gunnlaugsson, who is making his debut for the Terns here today, and then there's a recall for Zeljeznicar in support of the front two of Victor Larsen and Mateusz Wolff."

"Who's that in the centre-circle with the officials and the captains, Boris? Is... is she taking selfies?"

"Aha, that'll be the Mayor of Sutherland, Henning; Sofia Larsen. She's the youngest mayor in the Federation, I believe, and currently angling for re-election. She does things a little er, differently. The people love her, though. Huge approval ratings."

"For selfies with footballers? She's still going, look!"

"Yeah, it's one of her 'things', that she does. Puts them out on her Chirpr account, I believe. And who can blame her? This is a momentous day for the people and the town of Sutherland and she's fully entitled to ride the crest of popularity she'll get form having argued for it so strongly."

"Oh, it's down to her that we're here?"

"I believe it was she who first put the idea to the bidding committee, yes. Ah, look. She's being led from the pitch by one of the Terns' officials. That's the tournament appointed liaison officer, I believe."

"And she's taking a picture with him. Of course."

"Of course."

"And of her in front of the bench with the substitutes, dear me."

"Indeed. Well, Henning, with that over and Larsen off the pitch, we can get back to affairs in hand. The kick off of the nineteenth Copa Rushmori, to be precise. The holders and hosts, the Terns will get us started here; the referee checks his watch, and we're away!"

"Here we go, Boris!"

"Larsen and Wolff get us started and we're away. Gunnlaugsson now, getting the first touches of his Terns career. Down to Jansen. Holzhauser. Zeljeznicar; beautiful ball over the top to the overlapping Jansen, whips it in! Larsen beats the defender to the ball, turns and shoots! Blocked! And the Terns have a corner with 100% of the possession and mere seconds on the clock."

"That's an encouraging start for the lads, Boris. Rasmussen will be hoping this high-intensity start continues. Perhaps it's something they've been working on in training; this hitting straight out of the blocks idea."

"Perhaps, Henning, perhaps. But for now Gunnlaugsson trots over slowly to take it. He's five assists from corners last season for the Argonauts, so it'll be interesting to see what Rasmussen has had them working on in training. Oh, my..."

"Is that-"

"Mayor Larsen, taking selfies with the bench. Yes."

"Aye, thought as much."

"Anyway, Gunnlaugsson with the corner! Headed up in the air! Woolf, back out to Gunnlaugsson at the corner of the box; whips it in... Oh! And it's gone in! Did he mean that? He can't have, surely! Eidur Gunnlaugsson, one minute into his Terns debut, has clipped a cross in from outside the corner of the box, on a second attempt at a corner, and it has evaded everybody!"

"Aw, look at him, Boris, he's delighted!"

"He looks over the moon, Henning, and who can blame him? Whether he meant it or not it's a fair good-looking goal, that. And The Forge is going wild, here! And down there I can- yes... Sofia Larsen is trying to take a selfie with Rasmussen. Poor Morten. He looks baffled..."

[Zenic]

“Unfortunately, you didn’t win. However, you did play well and didn’t lose, so you have that going for you. Now, who wants to grab a bite to eat here in Longyearbyen? Anyone? I know a good place or two.”

A couple of the players looked at each other and shrugged, walking over to gather around Mr. Nylander in the lobby of the hotel. The team had just finished washing up and getting dressed. The team had arrived that morning in Longyearbyen and had a lite practice, working on tactics designed to beat Dutch Semarland. Thus, a reluctant Sanders had agreed to let the players have an evening to see and explore the city. All of them were taking the journey with Mr. Nylander as none of them knew if they would ever be back here, whether for sports or otherwise. Golovkin had decided he would help Valbjorn escort the team on their trip. This left Sanders, Dr. Wakahisa and some of the staff in the lobby.

“You appear nervous, Michael; Are you worried they might get into trouble or get hurt?” Sanders looked over at the doctor with a bit of relief. “It shows, doesn’t it? Well, I am. We need to start getting wins in the Copa Rushmori so we can make it to the knockout stage. We got a decent result against Pravenna but we could, and should, have won it. A win against Dutch Semarland would be amazing for momentum, Emi.” Emi; few could call her that name: her parents, her brother, her relatives, The Emperor, Minister Zimmel, Sanders and Golovkin. She allowed so few to say it that at times she forgot it was her name.

“They’re professionals, I am sure they understand what they need to do,” she replied. “However, as a doctor, I also know that people need to remove stress from their lives as much as possible when they can. This evening out on the town will help them relax, allowing them to get better rest and be ready for the lite practice in the morning and the match tomorrow. The human body requires it. That goes for you and the other staff as well. In a way, those are my orders.” Sanders looked over at Emi with a quizzical look on his face.

“So, on doctor’s orders, then?” Dr. Wakahisa Emi turned around and began walking towards the elevators, as Sanders simply looked on. “Exactly,” she said before stepping into the first available one and headed up to her room. “I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand that woman,” Sanders said, sighing heavily before turning for the doors.

“Doctor’s orders it is,” he repeated before reluctantly walking out the front doors of the hotel and on the streets of Longyearbyen, hopefully for a bit of relaxation.

[Stvoto Latoli]

Mahathu's Number One English Language Daily

Stvoto Latoli's Copa Rushmori XIX Squad Released

Shaghni Oj'vash - Based largely on the performances of players in the 4007 Gu Zhahogowdoo, the team that will represent Stvoto Latoli at the regional championships has been decided. The selections made by manager Brendan al Tameer were criticized by some; the squad is a very large and physical one, and it strikes many as problematic insofar as the team's play may be rather clunky and inelegant at times. After all, as this tournament is not as high in prestige as the World Cup (with no disrespect meant to the Copa Rushmori), and it would have been easy for al Tameer to experiment with younger, smaller, and more technical players. As expected, the team is dominated by players from the best teams in Gu Zhahogowdoo, with recently-crowned league champions Brewers sending five players, Vezhidrupa three, Cóiméid three, Stvozhaboythumow three, and Pkethat Hevnaje two. However, quite bafflingly, Hozastvu contribute the most players to the Gold-Whites with seven players. While the Stvoto Latolisi Navy's preferred side are incredibly popular, the Reds were horrendous over the final two thirds of the 4007 season, eventually finishing seventh.

Notably (with regard to selections), keeper Shyusoolootru Lyu has been rewarded with the number one shirt for his incredible form late in the year for Vezhidrupa, though he is followed by two young upstarts on equally superb runs of play. At right fullback, Hozastvu's Charpabaqhi Ouithima was an obvious selection, despite struggling for fitness late in the Gu Zhahogowdoo season; his poise, composure, and cool temperament (as well as bulky, physical shape) are assets al Tameer famously covets. A packed-in back line featuring Zhetroyzheleigu Zowbowbyuthi (of champions Brewers), Ševhi'khijidhu Chenu (of perennial overperformers Cóiméid), and Nanašimudh Kourouma (of losing-Scheveningen-phase-pool champions Hozastvu) will attempt to simply overpower opposition forwards with brute strength and little else. (Chenu, it should be mentioned, has been chosen as captain by al Tameer on account of his savvy tactical awareness and senior age relative to the other two center halves.) A rare technical (albeit slow) player in Zhiqi'savedhi Medhazhinanju rounds out the defense at left fullback.

Satatu Bei, deep-lying playmaker for Cinder Castle Brewers, will be the pivot man when Stvoto Latoli hazards an attempt at an attack. Alongside him in the center of the park is the merciless, hard-nosed enforcer Rasheed Ouinhichamba of Vezhidrupa, winners of Gu Zhahogowdoo the year before last. Air Force Club Stvozhaboythumow of Stvoto Latoli feature as major contributors to the front line: stocky little Baja'khirušu Mha will reprise the role he plays for the Brown and Black as a false nine, while teammate Qussay O'Loingseachain may either play off Mha's shoulder or explore the right wing. Towering Quinn Vail, Stvozhaboythumow's third and final contribution to the national outfit, might have occupied the final attacking slot on the left wing, but the once-lithe-and-explosive player has gained an incredible amount of weight recently and can count himself lucky he is even in the team. Hozastvu youngster Lennon Veale will start on the left instead.

Goalkeepers:
Shyusoolootru Lyu - 25 Years Old - Vezhidrupa
Mr. Lyu will be wearing number one, has Stvoto Latolisi ethnicity, and has Stvoto Latolisi nationality.
Joavan Orman - 22 Years Old - Cóiméid
Mr. Orman will be wearing number sixteen, has Irish ethnicity, and has Muzira'a Ba'aydi nationality.
Bowzhibowzowzhoy Thoymyugu - 19 Years Old - Brewers
Mr. Thoymyugu will be wearing number twenty-three, has Stvoto Latolisi ethnicity, and has Stvoto Latolisi nationality.

Defenders:
Charpabaqhi Ouithima - 24 Years Old - Hozastvu
Mr. Ouithima will be wearing number two, has Mahathan ethnicity, and has Pazhujebi nationality.
Zhetroyzheleigu Zowbowbyuthi - 20 Years Old - Brewers
Mr. Zowbowbyuthi will be wearing number three, has Stvoto Latolisi ethnicity, and has Stvoto Latolisi nationality.
Ševhi'khijidhu Chenu - 26 Years Old - Cóiméid (CAPTAIN)
Mr. Chenu will be wearing number four, has Zahuji ethnicity, and has Pazhujebi nationality.
Nanašimudh Kourouma - 20 Years Old - Hozastvu
Mr. Kourouma will be wearing number five, has African ethnicity, and has Pazhujebi nationality.
Zhiqi'savedhi Medhazhinanju - 32 Years Old - Brewers
Mr. Medhazhinanju will be wearing number six, has Zahuji ethnicity, and has Pazhujebi nationality.
Uailtéir Yeates - 26 Years Old - Hozastvu
Mr. Yeates will be wearing number twelve, has Irish ethnicity, and has Muzira'a Ba'aydi nationality.
Romulušam Ruvumighu - 19 Years Old - Hozastvu
Mr. Ruvumighu will be wearing number thirteen, has Mahathan ethnicity, and has Pazhujebi nationality.
Khadim Ismail - 33 Years Old - Pkethat Hevnaje
Mr. Ismail will be wearing number fourteen, has Arab ethnicity, and has Muzira'a Ba'aydi nationality.
Fionn al Nubi - 31 Years Old - Hozastvu
Mr. al Nubi will be wearing number fifteen, has Arab-Irish ethnicity, and has Muzira'a Ba'aydi nationality.

Midfielders:
Satatu Bei - 24 Years Old - Brewers
Mr. Bei will be wearing number seven, has Stvoto Latolisi ethnicity, and has Stvoto Latolisi nationality.
Rasheed Ouinhichamba - 35 Years Old - Vezhidrupa
Mr. Ouinhichamba will be wearing number eight, has African ethnicity, and has Pazhujebi nationality.
Gzifa Qaha - 26 Years Old - Vezhidrupa
Ms. Qaha will be wearing number seventeen, has African ethnicity, and has Pazhujebi nationality.
Jabbar al Amri - 25 Years Old - Cóiméid
Mr. al Amri will be wearing number eighteen, has Arab ethnicity, and has Muzira'a Ba'aydi nationality.

Attackers:
Baja'khirušu Mha - 24 Years Old - Stvozhaboythumow
Mr. Mha will be wearing number nine, has Zahuji ethnicity, and has Pazhujebi nationality.
Qussay O'Loingseachain - 28 Years Old - Stvozhaboythumow
Mr. O'Loingseachain will be wearing number ten, has Arab-Irish ethnicity, and has Muzira'a Ba'aydi nationality.
Lennon Veale - 22 Years Old - Hozastvu
Mr. Veale will be wearing number eleven, has Irish ethnicity, and has Muzira'a Ba'aydi nationality.
Thowstvoy Erthow - 25 Years Old - Pkethat Hevnaje
Mr. Erthow will be wearing number nineteen, has Stvoto Latolisi ethnicity, and has Stvoto Latolisi nationality.
Órlaith Tilley - 30 Years Old - Hozastvu
Ms. Tilley will be wearing number twenty, has Irish ethnicity, and has Muzira'a Ba'aydi nationality.
Heji'šagheru Eji - 30 Years Old - Brewers
Mr. Eji will be wearing number twenty-one, has Zahuji ethnicity, and has Pazhujebi nationality.
Quinn Vail - 25 Years Old - Stvozhaboythumow
Mr. Vail will be wearing number twenty-two, has Irish ethnicity, and has Muzira'a Ba'aydi nationality.

Manager:

Brendan al Tameer - 44 Years Old
Mr. al Tameer has Arab-Irish ethnicity and has Muzira'a Ba'aydi nationality.
Fun-loving, boisterous, and media-friendly, it might come as a surprise to an outsider that Stvoto Latoli's current manager is among the world's most tactically conservative minds. An Arab-Irishman born in Teach Iarann, al Tameer categorically rejects the maxim that "a good offense is the best defense." Preferring muscle-bound enforcers to pace or technical ability, al Tameer grew up in his home country of Muzira'a Ba'aydah but moved to Stvoto Latoli after being selected for military service. It was there, among the Stvoto Latolisi Navy's intramural leagues, that he began to formulate his football ideology. (Incidentally, the same influences can be seen in the general instincts of the Hozastvu club side, which represents the Navy. Fans of the Reds are often deeply uncomfortable when they witness their side venture forward for any reason.) al Tameer famously regards the nil-nil draw as a result as good as a victory, and this is in keeping with his Navy footballing education. At any rate, the Arab-Irishman generally makes selections in his own image: stocky, powerful, and often quite dirty athletes uninterested in sprinting or one-touch passing. He views tactical understanding as critical in his teams. And yet, despite all these utterly uninspiring and aesthetically displeasing attributes, al Tameer is well liked by the media, if not by the fans. Genial and warm, and with a light sense of humor, he famously enjoys (rather than resents) giving press conferences. Interviews after the many losses that Stvoto Latoli should be expected to suffer during its halcyon years as a competitive national side are sure to be as friendly and good-natured as those after the rare victory or draw. When asked what he plans to do after leaving his manager's post for the Golden Xantus, he often intimates that he might leave the sport altogether to spend more time with his hobby of woodworking. Nobody is entirely sure if he is serious or is using humor to dodge the question. There is no doubt that both Cóiméid (based in his city of birth, Teach Iarann) and Hozastvu (the outfit based on the Navy Headquarters site where he spent so much time as a serviceman) would be elated to secure his services if he ever departs his current post. However, for the time being this is obviously pure speculation.

Kits:

These are the kits used by Stvoto Latoli. The metallic gold, white, and dark blue strip is used for all home matches and occasional away matches, whereas the all-black change strip is used for most away matches but never at home.

Style Modifier:
-3

Tactics:
Brendan al Tameer's team plays in a 5-2-3 formation with mostly withdrawn fullbacks ("mostly" is used because when Zhiqi'savedhi Medhazhinanju is playing on the left, he may venture forward and/or cut inside to function as a midfielder), three central defenders, two central midfielders, a false nine, and two wingers. In attack, the more technical, less physical central midfielder will provide incisive passing to the false nine ahead, who (when needed) will retreat into midfield in order to become involved in the play. The wingers are reliant upon the false nine spraying passes out wide to them, or upon long balls from the fullbacks down the sideline. In defense, both midfielders will play just ahead of the center backs while the wingers retreat into right and left midfield spots to provide help for the fullbacks (the false nine becomes more of a true nine, holding up play so as to maintain possession). This often results in the formation resembling more of a 5-4-1 or 5-5-0.

Lyu

Ouithima       Zowbowbyuthi       Chenu (c)       Kourouma       Medhazhinanju

-----Bei----------Ouinhichamba

Mha
O'Loingseachain-----------------------------------------------------------Veale

Home Base

In alignment with conclusions reached in consultation with Stvoto Latoli's Liaison Officer Steingrimur Volle, Brendan al Tameer and other TSLB uppity-ups have selected the university city of Geidenheim as the location for their residence during this Copa Rushmori. Its historic significance in the Valhallan Union, as well as its proximity to the town of Larsen Bay (where the Stvoto Latolisi will play their third group stage match against Saintland) are notable reasons for this selection. Numerous Geidenheim University facilities will be used during training, including the Town Lane stadium used by SK Geidenheim Academical (unless they are surprisingly evicted by local authorities).

Information for the Foreign Mahathu Herald Reader

First of all, thanks for buying our paper! We're a rather small outfit as there are a couple of big Pazhujebi-language papers in Mahathu we have to compete with, so we appreciate the business. Secondly, you will probably have guessed that Stvoto Latoli is a geographically and culturally diverse federation of countries, and you're right.

The barbaric Stvoto Latolisi people are aggressive scavengers living at sea. Likely East Asian in terms of ethnic ancestry, they typically have straight, shiny black hair. Their faces are almost always concealed by traditional makeup patterns: men wear a pattern of diagonally alternating white and metallic gold, women wear a quartered pattern of navy and blue. (Footballers, incidentally, forego this makeup while playing the sport.) Their language is notoriously difficult to learn, while it only contains twenty-some basic sounds, all words are formed from abstract relative concepts explained in hieroglyphic form. Rather than letters representing vowels or consonants, letters represent words or phrases. For the purposes of intelligibility, we here at the Mahathu Herald have adopted an Anglicization policy for Stvoto Latolisi words.

Stvoto Latoli's background is mired in murky prehistory. The legend goes that in an ancient land, a specific group of humans, united by some unknown faith, gradually became greatly feared for their brutality, greed, and mercilessness, until some political event occurred that resulted in the religious practitioners' expulsion out to sea. These people evidently could never find a new place to live, as word of their terrible nature had spread worldwide, and no other nation allowed them to land. So the early Stvoto Latolisis simply accepted their reality, and began to construct massive wooden rafts upon which they could build a large city in which to live. A less ambitious, less devout, less fervent people might have failed in this seemingly impossible task, but they succeeded, and the maritime city-state of Stvoto Latoli was born.

Since, the ruthless people descended from that original group have become less devout; in fact, the religion they followed has been completely forgotten. But their merciless nature has not changed. Once the economy and society of this new country stabilized, the Stvoto Latolisis united to make their floating raft city more flexible and mobile, and eventually it became possible to fragment districts of the city into separate "islands" and direct the superstructure across the oceans to whatever location they preferred. They then began the process of plundering as many vulnerable peoples as they could find. A famous legend explains that the Kagdaz witch Baba Yaga witnessed one of these such pillagings. According to the story, she visited Stvoto Latoli during a time when they were conquering and destroying a race of merpeople below the sea.

In recent years, however, the Stvoto Latolisis have changed approach. (No one is quite sure why.) They have continued to conquer other nations seen as susceptible, but rather than looting and destroying these countries, they instead have looked for ways to mostly preserve the culture of their conquered possessions, while maintaining strict political and military control. They refer to these incorporated possessions as "vassal states."

Various vassal states have been won and lost in the last century. At the current present, the attentions of the Stvoto Latolisi navy and air forces have been occupied by the large vassal states of Muzira'a Ba'aydah and the Pazhujeb Islands. Their relationship with the Muzira'a Ba'aydi is moderately good; the Arab and Irish country appears mostly happy to be able to preserve their culture and avoid the devastation suffered by other possessions. That mutual amicability is non-existent, however, between the Pazhujeb Islands and their overlords. The Pazhujebis have proven rebellious and troublesome, and prison camps are filled to nearly 250% capacity.

We shall briefly explain the cultures of these two complex vassal states.

Muzira'a Ba'aydah consists of two territories, typically referred to as the Northern Territory and the Southern Territory. The large Northern Territory lies in an environmentally tropical zone, and is mostly covered by jungle. No one is quite sure why, but a group of Irish settlers have lived in the area for thousands of years. The other territory, the Southern Territory, is much smaller, and lies on the northeastern corner of a moderately-sized subarctic continent. From this state emerged the Arab people who eventually traveled to the Northern Territory, and began to peacefully settle alongside the native Irish. As these peoples united into one culture, the Irish began to emigrate the opposite direction, and by now there are more or less equal numbers of each ethnicity in each of the two territories. (Place names, incidentally, still follow the old origins: the Northern Territory is filled with towns with Irish names, and the Southern with Arab names.)

The Muzira'a Ba'aydis are quite conservative and religious. They have developed a unique religion which is organized around The Myth of the River, an old story. In this myth, a golden boat travels down a wide, wide river, but the further it travels, the wider the river becomes and eventually the members of the boat do not know if they are still in the river or at sea. This is a critical metaphor for the attainability of the afterlife - one cannot know when he or she has reached it.

Pazhujebis on the other hand, are the largely the descendants of North Indian expellees of Rome. They settled the Pazhujeb Islands about two millenia ago. They have light to medium brown skin, dark hair, and brown eyes. All Pazhujebis, men and women, wear purple turbans at all times, including during football matches. There are multiple ethnic groups here. The Mahathan Pazhujebis are by a slight margin the largest group; they consider themselves to be descendants of wealthy entrepreneurs within the Roman Empire and as such feel a general sense of superiority. Following close behind in terms of number are the African Pazhujebis, who are full or partial descendants of Yoruba immigrants who have arrived over the course of the last millennium. Finally, the smaller group of the Zahuji Pazhujebis also consider themselves to be descendants of Indians expelled from the Roman Empire, however, they have rejected Roman social influences due to lingering resentment over the expulsion, and have tried to culturally return to their North Indian roots.

Geneticists have studied the sequences of Mahathans and Zahujis and concluded that there is no fundamental racial difference between the two clades, but that does not stop Pazhujebis from perceiving strong distinctions between the two, and the belief that Mahathans and Zahujis are ethnically separate remains heavily prevalent.

While football is incredibly popular in both Muzira'a Ba'aydah and the Pazhujeb Islands, it is a developing sport in Stvoto Latoli, where their partially-mechanized form of rowing has always been the country's most popular sport. That being the case, Stvoto Latoli is by far the most economically powerful country in the federation, and so clubs are able to train local players more effectively and purchase Muzira'a Ba'aydi or Pazhujebi players away from their home sources. This serves as an equalizing factor, though the phenomenon is still visible when examining the demography of this current national team; there are nine Muzira'a Ba'aydis and nine Pazhujebis, but there are just five Stvoto Latolisis and two of them are goalkeepers.

Demonyms are slightly complicated. In terms of citizenship, it is acceptable to refer to anyone in Muzira'a Ba'aydah, the Pazhujeb Islands, or the city-state of Stvoto Latoli as "Stvoto Latolisi," but in terms of describing ethnicity, referring to somebody as such implies that they are from the actual raft complex. (In the same way, "Stvoto Latoli" may refer to either the small raft city-state, or it may refer to the broader empire as a whole.) It is not, however, typically considered offensive when foreigners refer to anybody from the federation as Stvoto Latolisi, even if they are actually Muzira'a Ba'aydis or Pazhujebis.

The TSLB ("Tazi’shu Stvoto Latolisi Balomobi") is the organizing association for the national football team and the league structure for club teams. There is no such thing as "the Stvoto Latoli FA" - what you mean to say is "the TSLB." Among fans, the most popular nicknames for the national team are "Gu Milusatratu Gerhoomow'thatho" or "The Golden Xantus" in English (the Xantus are a species of hummingbirds), and "Gu Zhomo-Zootyusoyzyu" or "The Gold-Whites" in English.

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers: Yes
Godmod Scoring Events: Yes
RP injuries to my players: Yes
Godmod injuries to my players: Yes
Hand out Yellow cards to my players: Yes
Hand out Red cards to my players: Yes
Godmod Other Events: Yes

[Kernansquillec]

Deserved draw against Valladares

Kernansquillec played out a 0-0 draw against 8th seeds Valladares in Waldenøya (Western Franz Josef, Polar Island States). Despite being the underdogs the Green and Whites looked on song, creating some decent chances in the final third, but without finding a finish.

1  New Ponyville           1   1  0  0    4   1  +3    3
2  Taeshan                 1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
3  Kernansquillec          1   0  1  0    0   0   0    1
4  Valladares              1   0  1  0    0   0   0    1
5  Vjaalsburg              1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
6  Bissone                 1   0  0  1    1   4  −3    0

Valladares almost grabbed a late winner on the counter-attack with Kate Ellysa doing brilliantly to win the one-on-one. A point apiece was probably the right result in the end, with neither side ready to take that extra risk to go for the win. Both sides looked a bit rusty as well but with both showing promise at least one of these two should make the knockout rounds.

Next up, group favorites Taeshan, who after an opening day win will be looking to get a grip hold on Group B with a win over the Kers who will have their work cut-out against a very talented Taeshan team.

Dear Diary,

The campaign has finally kicked off here in PIS. We had a decent game against a good side but you could tell it was the first game of the tournament. We're staying in a hotel near the stadium in this town called Waldenøya tonight. It seems quite a nice place from what I've seen. There's this magnificent view on the harbor over the bay. I didn't catch the name of it, these Valhallans have such a funny accent!

I did however pick up a few words today. "Eine pint" is a pint and "Hat debt" is goodbye I think. Some words aren't that dissimilar to English but with the Valhallan accent you do struggle to recognize the words. I haven't actually met many locals, just the barman at the hotel and a few staff at the stadium and training ground. But they've all seemed nice enough.

One local I have been seeing quite a bit of is Desa Nilsmark. She's been appointed as our "Team Liaison Officer" whatever that means. All I've seen her do so far is gawp at a couple of the lads at training and translate a few phrases. I dread to think how much she's getting payed. I didn't like the look of her at first, she's about 10/15 years older than me based on her looks and had the appearance of some bureaucrat who's been doing pointless paperwork ever since they were born. But we had a pint together at the bar when we got back to the hotel earlier and started chatting.

She's spend 20 odd years living in Kernansquillec and knows everything there is to know about our culture. It was nice to talk to a local who knew a bit about Kernansquillec. We're hardly the best known Rushmori nation after all. Jean (Dubois that is) will probably want to speak to her as well. He moved to PIS as a kid before the War and started playing football over there as well. He had a pretty solid (but uneventful) game today.

I'd better get some sleep now. We're leaving tomorrow at 9:30AM for Jan Mayen in the Norscelt island group of PIS. From what I've heard it's next to a volcano or something. Sounds exciting! Hopefully it'll be a bit warmer there. The sun was shining this afternoon, but it felt like we were in early Winter. Then again we were on the coast and the wind didn't held too much.

[Sarrbia]

The Tropical Republic of Sarrbia - National Soccer Team - Copa Rushmori XIX

Sarrbia is an archipelago in southwestern meridian Rushmore, near New Sirain, Whirl Islands and Cotdelapoms. It is a paradise known for its abundance of white-sand beaches, palm trees and beautiful bikini-clad women. In the sporting world, Sarrbia is noted for its equal love of beach and association football, having hosted two editions of the Beach Cup in the past.

The Sarrbians reached a peak world ranking of #48 after qualifying for World Cup 56, but have since faded into relative obscurity. Please note that the Sarrbian squad is mixed male and female. All players come from Futbalo Asocio Sarrbi (FAS), the domestic league of Sarrbia.


Basic Information

Headquarters: Wypuli, Sarrbia
Field: Arena Malluma Maŭra (50,000)
Colors: Pink, White, Gold
Nickname: The Palmettos
Mascot: Sheila the Whale
Formation: 4-3-3
Style Modifier: +3
Status: Puppet of Cosumar

Staff

Manager: Merlanda Aumbaugh
Assistant Manager: Alaina West
Goalkeeping Coach: Kio Arrabulle
Defense Coach: Donovan Buckles
Midfield Coach: Susi Jackson
Strikers Coach: Milo Madlambayan
Fitness Coach: Rosafinka Madlambayan

Starting XI

Goalkeeper - Loren KAWAGUCHI - (33, Female, FK Voluptamoro)
Left Fullback - Patrick BANDERAS - (27, Male, Palmo Marbordo)
Center Back - Tempest HONEYCUTT - (39, Female, Palmo Marbordo)
Center Back - Kimbra YAMAMOTO - (24, Female, Safiro Rivero)
Right Fullback - Marsha HOGARTH - (23, Female, FK Arĝento Monto)
Left Midfield - Benjamin PEREIRA - (34, Male, Marbordo ĉefurbo FK)
Center Midfield - Ezra HARDY - (25, Neither, FK Seymour)
Right Midfield - Heraclio HUTSON - (29, Male, Strava Exankalla)
Left Winger - Lillian HATHOWAY - (23, Female, FK Wypuli)
Right Winger - Chris BREWSTER - (18, Male, Malton Urbo)
Center Forward - Charlotte THOMPSON - (32, Female, Aleta Rozkoton)

Substitutes

Goalkeeper - Oriane SPURLING - (28, Female, Myollo Kunigitaj)
Goalkeeper - Dom GARDENER - (29, Male, Aleta Peyla)
Defender - Bryce RENNOLL - (31, Male, FK Wypuli)
Defender - Wanda COOKE - (28, Female, Malton Urbo)
Defender - Bram COEL - (26, Male, Strava Exankalla)
Defender - Pablo PETTIGREW - (30, Male, Myollo Kunigitaj)
Midfielder - Jilli GYRI - (29, Female, Palmo Marbordo)
Midfielder - Dikeledi TACHIBANA - (31, Female, Pacon Tutmonda)
Midfielder - Rajni DENZIL - (35, Male, FK Orauro)
Midfielder - Cirino REY - (27, Male, FK Voluptamoro)
Forward - Mohinder MISRA - (23, Male, Capiciam Kunigitaj)
Forward - Damien STRANGE - (25, Male, Spiritoj Zephyr)

Kit

[Stvoto Latoli]

PRESENT DAY

I stared at her white lab coat blankly, wondering stupid things like "I wonder how much those would cost on the internet," "that pen is about to fall out of her pocket," and "she probably didn't wash her hands before she did this." I was about to drift off into a daydream about what would happen if I jumped over the counter and started gulping down random bottles of pills before she interrupted me.

"Have you ever taken Trazodone before?" she asked me rapidly, as if she had rehearsed this line many times before with other customers.

"No," I muttered thickly. I'd been struggling with a cold for about a week, and my sinuses were stuffed up.

"Okay, well this is an old-fashioned drug, in that it causes very severe drowsiness. That's why, nowadays, it's usually only prescribed for people with insomnia or other sleep problems.

"Sweet."

"Any other questions?"

"Nope," I wiped my nose.

"D'you have a cold?"

"Yeah, I'm starting to feel better, though."

"Oh, good. Well, if you don't have any other questions, then you are all set."

"Okay, thanks." I grabbed the white paper bag with the five-page prescription information pamphlet and stumbled back down the isle. I was in a large pharmacy in the Kuratmad District's commercial corridor. The story was this: I'd taken Righuvaha's advice and gone to the university's health office. They had a nurse ask me a bunch of questions, which weren't that hard to answer aside from the "yeah, I've been having these fucked up dreams where all I can see is a pair of disembodied snake eyes and all I can hear is a creepy voice talking about exterminating all the Pazhujebis" incident. At that, she had looked taken aback, and asked me a bunch of questions I didn't understand about antipsychotic medications. At any rate, she had prescribed a bunch of stuff and told me to go pick it up right away.

And so here I was, stepping out into the sunlit streets of Mahathu, Zhiqachi's Medical Equipment Warehouse and Pharmacy towering up behind me in typical black brick. It was partially cloudy and windy, resulting in the sensation that the air was a bit cooler than usual. I immediately wished I'd brought my coat and hurriedly dashed to the monorail.

Once back on campus, I had been about to head up the dormitory stairs and crash before I realized something: the nurse's urgent order to pick up the medication had caused me to miss Archaeology this morning, and I'd forgotten to email my professor and tell her I'd be missing today. So, at the bottom of the steps, slouching my shoulders down and arching my head back while groaning "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH," I begrudgingly traipsed off to the Historical Studies building. It wasn't far, but I was in a bad mood that day and my attitude couldn't have been worse.

Once at Dr. Mharman's office, I knocked on her closed door. Part of me was happy when she opened the door and welcomed me in, as I wanted to explain what had happened rather than just get an Absent mark, but on the other hand, part of me was grouchy that I'd have to awkwardly apologize and possibly have to deal with getting chewed out.

Often agitated and perpetually excitable, she was short and had frizzy black hair that seemed to assume abstract shapes of its own volition, in utter violation of the most fundamental rules of hairdressing. But Dr. M (as most of us called her) was cool. She had a tattoo on her right forearm, it looked like a portrait of somebody, but none of us had ever really gotten close enough to hypothesize who the person in the tattoo was. And she (usually) took students' excuses for tardiness or no-showing seriously, as was the case today.

"Oooooooh, dear, you have to be getting sleep, darling," she said as she leaned back in her desk chair, lifting a mug of tea to her lips. I had just told her the whole story.

"It's really not so much the lack of sleep as it is the messed up dreams."

"How messed up are we talking?"

Oh, not this question again. Though I did not externally show it, my psychological gesture was the same as the one I had made just minutes earlier at the bottom of the stairs: "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH."

"Just, like weird stuff."

"Well, Savathi, I don't want to pry, but I'm all ears if you do want to talk about it."

"Just... like... I regularly have these dreams where I see sketchy stuff and hear this really scary voice ranting about how Pazhujebis deserve to be slaves in some empire, and how they're cockroaches, and then some messed up poetry about, like, 'masters of the sword drinking blood' and shit. But also there's mundane stuff. Like last night they were talking some nonsense about a 'Copa Rushmori,' and 'Geidenheim,' and Eastfield Lodge winning at football. And some guy called Steingrimur Volle."

There was an odd look on Dr. M's face. "'Masters of the sword,' you said?"

"Yup. That's what they say, like, every night." A pause. "Why do you ask?" Another pause. "You're not talking, Professor."

"Oh, yes. Never mind, the academic's curiosity strikes again. Well, I hope you feel better soon, but in the meantime you have some catching up to do."

"I know," trying to hide the sheepish look on my face.

"We've started a new unit, so the readings are from a couple different sources. Read to page 59 from The Robbers' Discovery, and to page 82 of "A Detailed Approach to Sand Excavations."

"Uhh..." I stalled. I knew I had a copy of Sand Excavations somewhere near the bottom of what my roommate mockingly referred to as the Holy Roman Textbook Pile, but I didn't remember anything about The Robbers' Discovery. Oh that's right, I remembered suddenly. The bookstore had been sold out and had given me a credit to buy it online. But I'd forgotten...

"What is it, Savathi?" Dr. Mharman gazed at me, suspicion gleaming in her eyes.

"I don't think I have The Robbers' Discovery. I was supposed to buy it online... but... I... forgot." The only thought running through my head at this point was She Must Think I Am Such A Fucking Dumbass.

She did sigh, but then she swiveled her chair around and extracted an extra copy from a large shelf. "Here, just borrow this copy. I want it back when we're done with this unit."

"Yes, ma'am," still beet-red in the face and still trying to decide where I fell between A Bit Dull and Full Retard on the Great Scale of Idiocy. "We're working on the Pyramids of Queer Poco el Mono Ara, then?"

"That's right. This is an historical fiction novel about grave robbers in the early days after they first reopened the tombs. It's a fair bit more absorbing your average textbook, so you'll get through it pretty fast. You do have a copy of Sand Excavations, though?"

"Yeah, I just have to dig it out..."

Fifteen minutes later, I was on the floor of my dorm room, digging through an unimaginably huge pile of crap in one corner. My roommate, a Cotdelapomais foreign exchange student named Louise, was lying in her (lower) bunk, reading a chemistry textbook and typing up notes on her laptop.

"Did you lose something?" she asked with a gentle accent.

"Yeah, no."

"Wait... what?"

"Like, I'm supposed to start reading this hugeass book about archeology in desert environments, but I can't frickin' find it..."

"Did you try the top shelf of the closet? You have a bunch of textbooks up there that you have forgotten about."

I was never sure if Louise said stuff like this (and she did, often) because she was simply from a different culture where they were more direct, or because she was just annoyingly passive-aggressive, and cultural background had nothing to do with it. But fuck it, I thought, I don't see it in this pile, so why not check in the closet?

I stood up on the tips of my toes and started dragging stuff off of the top shelf. Why did I bring this from home, I thought as I tossed a heavy tome from last year's French class onto the floor. Next up was a bunch of magazines bound together with a rubber band. "Huh," I said out loud, "I forgot to read these." I threw those on top of the Holy Roman Blah Blah Blah, the rubber band snapped, and they all fell on the floor, making my corner even more of a sty. Louise gave me a dirty look, but I turned back to the closet.

Now, what the hell is this? I could feel a very small box that I suspected was very light because of the way I could knock it around with just a slight touch. And there was something underneath it; highly likely this was a piece of paper. With an almighty grunt, I managed to reclaim these mystery items from the closet's maw.

"What are those?" Louise asked, unable to conceal her revulsion at the dusty, overripe-banana-colored box in my hands.

"Don't know," I answered absent-mindedly as I pulled off the lid.

Of course! I remembered immediately, lifting the square-shaped trinket up and out of the box. The silver square he'd given me! It was the last thing he'd given me before the accident...

"What is that?" Now Louise's voice was less prosecuting and more curious.

"My grandfather gave it to me."

"Ooooh," she said softly. "The one who was Prime Minister?"

"Yeah," I answered in an unnecessary whisper. The piece of paper accompanying the shiny square piece was a newspaper clipping... from the Mahathu Herald some three years ago. Louise even put down the textbook, got up off her bed, and came to look over my shoulder as we read.

Mahathu's Number One English Language Daily

As Massive Funeral For Enavada Eherebhimi Finally Ends, So Too Does Cultural Hiatus

29 APRIL 5265 - Qichechumadia Zhabi – In a bizarre development bringing closure to an equally bizarre event, life is returning to normal in the Pazhujeb Islands. The monorail service, previously closed to the public, is once more available at its preposterously overpriced fee; museums in Mahathu, beaches in Urajbina, and forests on the Zahuj Peninsula are being visited once more; and football fans are (quite literally) dusting off their scarves.

It all started on the 25th day of July, 5263. You see, dear reader, the much-loved Prime Minister of the Pazhujeb Islands, Enavada Eherebhimi (who was elected to office during the old days of Kagdazka and Pazhujebu and led the nation through the tragic destruction of the former country) had taken a trip to a Mahathu location of the popular D&D-themed fast food chain Empanada Dungeon, where he had rented the back room for the celebration of his granddaughter's 18th birthday party. Evidently, the Prime Minister had hired a massive team of morbidly obese male strippers from New Montreal States and had spared no expense in so doing: the manager of the Empanada Dungeon in question later testified that there were so many strippers, the building had vastly exceeded its occupancy limits.

Sadly, the floor of the restaurant, known to many locals to be notoriously susceptible to collapse, was unable to withstand the violently enthusiastic pelvic thrusts of the New Montrealais throng, and a large sinkhole appeared in the floor beneath the Pazhujeb Islands' beloved Head of Government. In horrid scenes captured on grainy (probably grease-coated) Empanada Dungeon security cameras, Mr. Eherebhimi was seen clutching a Boiled Egg and Raisin Empanada Basket in one hand and tossing a small trinket up to his hysterical granddaughter with the other as he plummeted down into the abyss.

"Damn near got caught in that sinkhole myself," Empanada Dungeon regular Šeppu Haqhjuzhu was famously heard announcing in a UIB radio interview on the scene as he licked the restaurant's famous grease off his fingers. "I done seen the fat New Montreal guys jumpin' and humpin,' and then the floor just went BLAM, and the Prime Minister just plum fell right in!"

"So that's the trinket that the article is talking about, isn't it!" Louise exclaimed.

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"I have no idea."

(NOTE: This RP is part of a very long and ambitious storyline that serves as an origin story for this nation. I will be referencing at least a half dozen of my own former RPs, written as the Pazhujeb Islands or Kagdazka and Pazhujebu. As such, I feel like it is in good faith to report this to hosts who might be tabulating my RP bonus: the past RPs I will reintroduce are original material, but most of them have been directly copied and pasted. If this is considered uncouth, I will understand if I am docked bonus points. However, it is worth mentioning that in many of these ancient RPs I left hints that I did plan on revisiting later. Subsequently, this self-plagiarism simply attempts to give context for the plot I will be weaving. I will always provide a notice in this space any time an old RP is used or referenced.)

(The newspaper clipping above is from one of my former RPs, posted on 12 May 2013. The link to that RP is here.)

[Isula ge Ru]

From what I saw, Twitter was live about the game

Isula ĝe Ru 1-0 Pasarga

17' Elhu Micaila Saidosaquera missed penalty (ISR)
36' Jan Makic yellow card (PAS)
73' Bilha Saidomarcu Domique goal (ISR)

[Saintland]

Editorial: Why I Converted to the True Church
By: Vagn Migerka

(SP) I know that this will come as a surprise to most of my countrymen, so I wish to make a statement regarding my conversion to the True Church of Iesus Christus. First off, I wish to thank Prince Andreas and the rest of the Saintland National Team. They are true gentlemen and a credit to their nation. Whether they win or lose on the pitch, they always conduct themselves with the utmost sportsmanship and respect for the opposition. That is truly a rare trait in this day and age.

However, I am not writing about them today. I am writing about my own experience. In my 41 years, I have always considered myself a Christian, but I have never bothered to attend services because the ministers always seemed to be interested in everything but preaching the Word of God. Yes, I was wild during my youth like everybody else, but even while I was committing sin after sin in the overly permissive society that I live in, I somehow knew deep down in my heart that what I was doing was wrong.

Eventually, I grew up, got married, started a career with FPIFA and had 2 children with my wife. Still, even though I should have been happy, especially after we won the World Cup, I still felt an emptiness in my life. I seemingly had everything that I wanted in life, but I was still unfulfilled. Something was wrong and I wasn't sure what, until recently.

The night before the first Copa Rushmori game, the Sanctii players requested that I spend the night at home with my family instead of spending it with the team. I'll admit that I was reluctant to leave them alone, but they were insistent on the importance of family. That night, I had a long conversation with my wife about family problems. She was increasingly worried about our kids, now that they are fast approaching their teen years, and I had to admit that she had a point. When I thought back to how wild I was in those years, I became more and more worried about my daughters.

Eventually, my wife and I got around to discussing the Sanctii players. One of the first things Prince Andreas did, after we first met, was to correct all of the myths about the True Church that have been spread by those hostile to it. When the topic came up with my wife, I told her just how gentlemanly the Sanctii are and how their customs that seem odd to most Valhallans (and most people who aren't members of the True Church) are really about protecting women and treating them with the proper respect that they deserve. As we went to bed that night, I thought my wife was unconvinced.

However, on the following morning, my wife asked me to introduce her to the Sanctii soccer team. I did so on that night, at the match against Sameba. On that night, Prince Andreas scored a goal in the 24th minute to put the Sanctii on top. Then, at halftime, he substituted himself out of the match and spent most of the second half on the sideline talking with my wife and I. We paid no attention to what was going on in the match, as we discussed faith, philosophy and life in general. Finally, after the match ended, the Prince of Saintland said goodbye to both of us and requested that we spend the night together, again.

On the way home, I was surprised when my wife suggested that we should convert to the True Church. I'll admit that I had been considering it for several days, but I had decided against the idea because I didn't expect my wife, who has always considered herself a strong and independent-minded woman, would ever convert to a Church that is widely demonized by its critics as a bunch of woman-haters stuck in the Middle Ages. At that moment, I knew that our family would be converted to the True Church.

You may be wondering whether this means that I will be taking Sanctii citizenship or leaving my job with FPIFA. I can assure everybody that I will remain a Valhallan and that I will encourage all of my countrymen and countrywomen to join me in converting to the One True Church of Iesus Christus. I hope that you will discover, as I have, the happiness that only comes from knowing Iesus Christus and from being part of His Church. May God Bless Saintland, the True Church and, most of all, the Polar Islandstates!

Vagn Migerka is the "Team Liaison Officer" for the Saintland National Soccer Team at the 19th Copa Rushmori in the Polar Islandstates. He is an official in FPIFA and a recent convert to the True Church.

[Polar Islandstates]

CUTOFF

[Polar Islandstates]

1  Polar Islandstates        2   2  0  0    8   0  +8    6
2  Electrum                  2   2  0  0    9   2  +7    6
3  Dixhuitiles               2   1  0  1    1   3  −2    3
4  Alianza Albos             2   1  0  1    2   1  +1    3
5  Norrehavn                 2   0  0  2    2   6  −4    0
6  Oberour Ar Moro           2   0  0  2    0  10 −10    0

1  Valladares                2   1  1  0    2   0  +2    4
2  Kernansquillec            2   1  1  0    1   0  +1    4
3  New Ponyville             2   1  1  0    5   2  +3    4
4  Taeshan                   2   1  0  1    1   1   0    3
5  Vjaalsburg                2   0  1  1    1   2  −1    1
6  Bissone                   2   0  0  2    1   6  −5    0

1  Sameba                    2   2  0  0    3   1  +2    6
2  Eura                      2   1  1  0    2   1  +1    4
3  Saintland                 2   1  0  1    3   2  +1    3
4  Eastfield Lodge           2   1  0  1    1   2  −1    3
5  Mareibat                  2   0  1  1    1   2  −1    1
6  Stvoto Latoli             2   0  0  2    0   2  −2    0

1  Sicoutimont               2   1  1  0    3   1  +2    4
2  Zenic                     2   1  1  0    2   0  +2    4
3  Mapletish                 2   1  1  0    4   3  +1    4
4  Pravenna                  2   0  2  0    0   0   0    2
5  Darmen                    2   0  1  1    2   4  −2    1
6  Dutch Semarland           2   0  0  2    2   5  −3    0

1  Saugeais                  2   2  0  0    8   2  +6    6
2  Filopines                 2   2  0  0    5   2  +3    6
3  Sarrbia                   2   1  1  0    4   0  +4    4
4  Falcus                    2   0  1  1    1   3  −2    1
5  Dulaanluut                2   0  0  2    2   7  −5    0
6  Olastor                   2   0  0  2    1   7  −6    0

1  Sargossa                  2   1  1  0    3   0  +3    4
2  Isula ĝe Ru               2   1  1  0    2   1  +1    4
3  Pasarga                   2   1  0  1    8   1  +7    3
4  Salchar                   2   1  0  1    1   8  −7    3
5  Eastern Sunrise Islands   2   0  1  1    0   1  −1    1
6  The Kytler Peninsulae     2   0  1  1    1   4  −3    1

[Sargossa]

Copa Rushmori XIX


Sargossa - 'The Corsairs'

Kit
Courtesy of ediraf

Home / Away / Keeper



Head Coach

Ernesto Farías
Veteran former international striker who formed a key part of Sargossa’s very first national squad. Farías has held numerous roles within the international structure, including two caretaker spells in charge of the senior side. Most recently manager of SuperLiga side Ciudad Soluca before replacing Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa at the Corsairs’ helm after World Cup 67.

Backroom Staff

Assistant Head Coach: Elías Carrasco
Defensive Coach: Germán Moya
Attacking Coach: Rubén Contreras
Goalkeeping Coach: Silvio Romero
Fitness Coach: Sergio Castellanos
Technical Coordinator: Alejandro Echeverría
Team Doctor: Dr Iván Morelli

Talent

GK: 1. Ezequiel Medrán (34) – Sporting San Marquez
Long ago picked out by former national coach Martín Tejera, who knew a thing or two about goalkeeping, as one to watch. Formally undisputed first choice in the Sargossan goal.
GK: 13. Armando Abad (28) – Dínamo Maturín
Talented shot stopper who seems to have forced his way ahead of the veteran Medrán in the national setup. Reads the game well and is quick off his line, a key talent in Farías’ attack-minded strategy.
GK: 25. Emilio León (23) – Sportivo Soluca
A regular in the Sportivo goal at the age of just 19, big things are expected of the young shot stopper.


DR: 2. Cristiano Damían (26) – Dínamo Maturín
Back in the SuperLiga fold after a productive spell in Astograth, the former Ciudad Soluca trainee has found his feet quickly at his new club. A fallback by trade but pushed further forward in the coach’s new look formation.
DRC: 5. Guillermo Lucena (23) – Ciudad Soluca
A favourite of Farías after serving him well in the Under-21 team, the Olympic Squad and at Ciudad. A solid defender with an excellent reading of the game. Equally adept at centreback or fallback.
DC: 6. Matías Sosa (32) – Liria Prizren (Mytannion)
A free scoring centreback whose temperament has been known to get him in a spot of bother. So he probably feels right at home in Mytannion. Despite that slight flaw he captains the national side.
DL: 3. Mauricio Abeyta (25) – Alianza Jucaro
A buccaneering fallback who clearly longs to be a winger. An attacking threat down the left with a powerful shot and accurate cross. Unfortunately his defensive duties are sometimes forgotten.
DLC: 12. Dacio Sanz (25) – Dínamo Maturín
Quick and highly capable when his mind’s on the game but prone to the occasional catastrophic loss of concentration.
DRC: 14. Cristón Espinal (24) – El Nacional
A rightback by trade but often pressed into service in the centre of defensive during an injury crisis in Goza last season. Another former member of Farías’ Olympic Squad.
DLC: 19. Jonás Jacinto (26) – Ciudad Soluca
Made a surprise move from Segunda Liga side Motril to capital city giants Ciudad and hasn’t looked back. Adds a nice balance to Farías new three man defence.
DC: 21: Aurelio Pascual (29) – Sportivo Cordova
Only a dearth of strong centrebacks has kept Pascual out of national team reckoning for this long. But after strong domestic season has finally seen the Cordova man force his way into the squad.

MC: 4. Eduardo Zacarías (22) – Sporting San Marquez
A midfielder with tremendous lung capacity. His box-to-box runs were a key part of Dunas Del Sol’s excellent domestic campaign. Another who has completed a new season move to the Estadio Generalissimo Joaquín Delgado.
AMR: 7. Javier Jerez (33) – Sporting San Marquez
A tricky winger with plenty of technique but a willowy frame that struggles to compete with the game’s more physical practitioners. But still the best supply of crosses in the squad.
MC: 8. Rodrigo Defederico (33) – Dunas Del Sol
A talented midfielder who once had every Sargossan club of stature fighting over his signature before turning down the likes of Sporting San Marquez and Ciudad Soluca to make the move to Astograth. Now back at his first club.
AML: 11. Federico Cifuentés (23) – Dínamo Maturín
It’s entirely possible that Federico could have represented Sargossa at the Olympic 100m, such is the pace hidden away in his diminutive frame. A real terror for opposition fallbacks, although a consistent delivery shy of being genuinely world class.
AMRC: 15. Flavio Freitas (25) – El Nacional
A tireless attacking midfielder whose impressive work rate and never say die attitude make him a firm favourite among Gozans and neutrals alike.
MC: 16. Germán Sauseda (24) – Ciudad Soluca
Midfield playmaker with a prestigious range of passing. Sauseda stood out in a fairly average Porto Alegro Azul side that consistently punched above its weight. Brought to Ciudad by Farías during his spell in charge.
DMC: 18. Mateo Olmedo (24) – Alianza Jucaro
The latest in a long line of talented midfielder anchor-men produced by our mighty archipelago. Prone to nosebleeds if he crosses the halfway line.
DMC: 22. Matías Escobar (31) – Marinos Metropolis (Valladares)
An old fashioned midfield destroyer who can run all day without breaking a sweat. Consistently good performances in the Liga De Fuego led to a move abroad.
AMLC: 24. Ivan Ávila (32) – Ciudad Soluca
A regular understudy for the great Alejandro Echeverría at the Estadio Generalissmo Joaquín Delgado and with the national side. He may have cleared thirty but that ability to thread the ball through the eye of a needle hasn’t faded.

FC: 9. Federico Ferreyra (32) – El Nacional
A penalty area predator who made his name for little Nuevo Onwere before making the move to Astograth. Enjoyed spells at both Gortz Utd and Urbizania Wanderers before being snapped up by the Gozan giants.
FC: 10. Stefano Bustos (27) – Sportivo Soluca
At 6’4” the Sportivo targetman is a real threat in the air and adds the perfect option if ‘hoof it to the big fella’ is required.
FC: 17. Federico Noyola (24) – Sporting San Marquez
Yet another gem unearthed from the barrios of San Marquez and polished by ‘El Academia’. Has an uncanny knack of being in the right place and the right time and has proved a scourge of SuperLiga defences because of it. A natural successor to Ferreyra.
FRC: 20. Saturnín Quinteros (26) – Ciudad Soluca
Big things were expected of a forward who caught the attention with a seventy four goal season for one of Ciudad’s many youth teams. Often used as an attacking midfielder at club level by Farías so more of the same could be expected.
FL: 23. Enzo Jara (21) – Sportivo Soluca
An out-and-out winger who offers pure pace down the flank. Capable of tying opposition defenders up in knots but often lacking composure in the final third.


Style
A high pressing and attacking 3-4-3. Probable starting eleven. Further info can be found here.

Style Modifier = (+4)


Permissions
If my opponent RP's first they can:
Choose my goalscorers: Heck yes
Godmod Scoring Events: Yes
RP injuries to my players: Yes (within reason)
Godmod injuries to my players: No
Hand out Yellow cards to my players: Yes
Hand out Red cards to my players: Yes
Godmod Other Events Yes: Just no killing, maiming, burning or heavy petting

[Taeshan]

http://chirb.it/m6Ha0G

[Saintland]

Following the match against Eastfield Lodge, where he personally scored the match-clinching second goal in the 63rd minute, Prince Andreas had business to take care of, related to Royal Computer Entertainment of Saintland, his personal business funded out of the Royal Treasury. As it turned out, the Tohoko Games Show, the most prestigious show in Taiyou, was to be held on that very weekend. Prince Andreas decided to speak to the show via satellite, to discuss the upcoming software lineup for the Saint. A live, software-based, translation translated Prince Andreas's comments into every major language.

Prince Andreas - Welcome to Royal Computer Entertainment of Saintland's TGS presentation. I am Prince Andreas, founder of RCES. Today, I will speak with you about our great upcoming software lineup, a lineup that we regard as the best yet for our hugely successful Saint platform. Rather than keep you waiting any longer, I think its time to start off by showcasing the newest development in realistic soccer simulation: The Real Soccer Simulator 2.0!

A trailer followed, showcasing the new features that were added, exclusively to the new version. Foremost among them was improved goalkeeper controls. The trailer finished with a shot of the logo screen, announcing a release scheduled for October 14th. Most notable, however, was the choice of cover athlete for this addition. The cover athletes were the Republican striker trio of Kyle Bolton, Faredin Pozenel and Kobe Theodore.

Prince Andreas - However, if you're truly passionate about soccer, you won't be satisfied with just the standard edition. Therefore, I have the privilege of announcing the special Manager Edition of the Real Soccer Simulator, including an exclusive Soccer Manager mode.

The box art for the Manager Edition flashed on the screen. On the cover was none other than the ever-controversial Rule Theriault.

Prince Andreas - If you've ever said that you can do a better job managing a soccer team than the incomparable Rule Theriault, well now you can try. But, if you just want to play a simulated soccer match, the standard edition is perfect for you. Speaking of the standard edition, would everybody please welcome Sachiya Inoue and Faredin Pozenel of the Holy Republican National Team, who are here to demonstrate the gameplay improvements only found in the new Real Soccer Simulator 2.0!

Pozenel and Inoue walked onto the stage to play the demo version, for the benefit of the crowd. The TGS demo version only included Noburu Taiyou and Irad, both of which were new additions to this version of the Real Soccer Simulator.

A match commenced. While Pozenel's Irad side was intent on attacking, Inoue's Taiyou imposed their pace upon the opposition, forcing the match to a standstill. A first half that was mostly played in the midfield area concluded with Pozenel's virtual self in possession of the ball, en route to the Taiyouese goal. At this moment, Inoue took control of the goalkeeper and managed to pull off a spectacular save with the Taiyouese keeper. After heading a corner away to safety, the virtual official blew the virtual whistle for halftime and the demo expired.

Prince Andreas - A well-played half of defensive soccer. As you can see, the defensive artificial intelligence has been dramatically upgraded in the Real Soccer Simulator 2.0. We hope that you will continue to support the authentic soccer experience that can only be found in the Real Soccer Simulator. To show our support for our loyal customers, we will be releasing downloadable content packs for World Cups 1 through 69, each of which will be available separately on the SaintStore. While the retail version, at launch, will ship with the national team rosters for World Cup 70, we will continue to produce downloadable updates for future World Cups. For those who don't want to upgrade immediately, we promise to continue supporting the original Real Soccer Simulator with downloadable content updates through at least the 71st World Cup cycle.

Prince Andreas had finished talking about the Real Soccer Simulator, but he was far from done speaking to the crowd assembled in Tohoko...

[Norrehavn]

OOC: Sorry for this extremely short RP, for I am at airport right now and will be away for most of today until like 6 or so. Also, noffence intended to any Tottenham fans, especially PIS

"Hej."

"Hey, Jannik. Long time no see."

"I see. Anything new with your life since last October?"

"Not much. Teuvo moved in for the Winter after his house broke down and Lyna's born into this world, but aside from that, it's the same old suburban life here."

"Oh, by the way, how's Jaroslav doing with Trondheim IK? I just read it this morning, on a Norrehavnese Airlines(NK) magazine while on way to Franz Joseph City."

"He's good, nothing spectacular as defender, but still making money off it. Much better than Trontenham for sure."

"Big time pay raise, right?"

"Yep. 3 years, 15 million Norrish Kroners. A good deal for sure, considering his youth."

"I can't help but to agree on this. And oh yeah, I heard that Trontenham Spurs are going to be in Division II. How fantastic, for you!"

"Indeed...nothing like watching that Yttribian owner getting his nose smashed after a season of experience."

"Dude, he's not even that much of Yttribian anyways. Didn't he live here, like for 30 years or so and married a Norre?"

"Yes, but my opinion still stands. He has that mouth of one, who can't shut the hell up about how much Nyhavn will fail after all the signings last Summer....No wonder why I was more than happy with that Christmas Night Bash at Tuborg Stadium."

"Yeah....That 7-1 defeat to the Nyhavn IK was rather....anticlimatic to me. I personally didn't see the Lions winning after having like 1-2-2 start to the season, in the end. But once again, who wasn't? Berrish and Stojrkstrand bounced back big time after their injuries, and their stars did the job when unexpected. Good job on them for that."

"Mhm. I still wish that Sir Tringham is still coaching with us, instead of teaching in his comfortable retirement at Farrer University. The team still looked very much shaky at times and I bet they won't win a single match in QCCL(Quebecois Commonwealth Champions League). Sure we did win, but we are no longer ourselves of the past, even as recent as two seasons ago."

"Well, I guess that's what happens with football and life. Tringham at point had to retire and Trontenham with Chavez had have their asses kicked, big time. While it sucks for me as a Tronteham fan, what else can I say really? That's the way it goes."

"Indeed, my friend. Indeed."

[Zenic]

“That was a good win, was it not, Michael?”

Golovkin spoke with a smile as he patted Sanders on the back while walking through the airport. The team had just finished cleaning themselves and packing their bags after a solid 2-0 win over Dutch Semarland. The team were on their way back to Sogne as their next match was against the group leader Sicoutimont in the capital, Franz Josef City. The team would have the morning off before some average intensity training in the evening.

The game against Dutch Semarland was a positive step forward for the team in the Copa Rushmori. They came out aggressive from the start and got some good shots in. However, it took them until the 38th minute to score their first goal, coming off of a corner by Daniel Oliver Barnsley who placed it perfectly on the head of the captain Luke Killian. In an interesting decision, Sanders had decided to use all three substitutes at halftime. He brought on Wessel for Ayaode, Alexi Romanov for Kun-woo and Xavier Marshall for Nikolai Romanov, hoping to prevent his two attacking superstars from getting injured and to give the anchor of the defensive line a break so he would be ready for the Sicoutimont game.

Luckily for the team, Sanders decision didn’t alter the game too much. The team continued to apply the pressure in the second half and it paid off early. Isidor Wessel put in his second international goal of his career in the 52nd minute to put the team up 2-0 before Sanders began to order the team to play keep away until the end of the game.

“Yeah, it was a good win. Now, we need to find a way to play like that against Sicoutimont as well as Mapletish and Darmen. We need to beat two of those team to qualify and none are an easy win. This schedule really goes against us,” Sanders stated as the team began to file into the plane. Everyone began to place their bags into the overhead compartments and take their seats. Sanders and Golovkin sat next to each other as they almost always do on trips to prep for the next game. “Come on, Michael, we can definitely win against Sicoutimont. Just do not overthink it, okay?”

Sanders shrugged before smiling. “Easy for you to say: I’m the one who has to make sure they don’t have a heart attack or panic attack during the game.”

[Kernansquillec]

Fabulous win against 5th seeds

Following on with a solid 0-0 draw in their opening game against Valladares, Kernansquillec won a fiercely contested battle in Jan Mayen against Taeshan, the tournament's fifth seeds and group favorites.

1  Valladares                2   1  1  0    2   0  +2    4
2  Kernansquillec            2   1  1  0    1   0  +1    4
3  New Ponyville             2   1  1  0    5   2  +3    4
4  Taeshan                   2   1  0  1    1   1   0    3
5  Vjaalsburg                2   0  1  1    1   2  −1    1
6  Bissone                   2   0  0  2    1   6  −5    0

Both sides played entertaining football but both attacks came up against well organised defenses who saw off every attack, bar one. In the 72nd minute Käufer intercepted a bad pass from Ying Uing and chipped an inch-perfect ball over the defense to Lilac who broke the offside trap. With the defense wrong footed and on the back-foot Lilac ran down on goal and powered a shot between Garden's legs.

Both sides had had a number of chances before hand: Noupen had seen her glancing header clip the post on its way out for a goal kick while down the other 23 year old McDrew saw his curling effort tiped over by Kate Ellysa's fingertips. But in the end Kernansquillec ran out 1-0 winners and have managed to claim 4 points out of 6 against not just two of the best sides in the group, but two of the best sides in the tournament.

Dear Diary,

We had a fantastic win today! Peter got the goal for us against Taeshan. Considering they are the fifth seeds we might just stand a chance of reached the quarters or many even the semis. Rachael's just trying to make sure we win our next game but at some point you've got to wonder just how far we really can go. Still, she does have a point. We've been told in no uncertain terms that if we don't make the knockout rounds we'll get the sack.

But we should make the knockouts. We're playing well, the team are solid at the back (two clean sheets against the 5th and 8th seeds, you can't do much better!). And more importantly we've got the three lesser sides of the tournament coming. New Ponyville may pose us a challage, but as for the other two we've really got to beat them and beat them bad.

Desa took me on a tour of Jan Mayen. This is definitely my favorite corner of PIS so far! Turns out the volcano is extinct so it isn't that scary, but it still looks very impressive. We did a bit of shopping. I got this lovely chapka. After that we went to this bar called the "Crescent" or something like that. We had a superb view over the harbor. We had a few shots of seasogs. I've never tasted anything quite like it, but it was nice. Desa says it's a traditional Valhallan drink. Whatever it is it's very strong! My head was buzzing by the time we got back.

Unfortunately we're not going to be spending anymore time here. We're off to yet another island next morning. Victor-in is what it's called I think. Something like that anyway. We'll be playing in a Northern city who's name I've forgotten. But it's on the coast (again). I don't think I'm ever going to see the inside of one of these islands. They may not even have an inside. Or maybe it's just that all the money is on the coast where the tourists come and the insides are full of poor people and the government doesn't want us to see such horrible conditions. Who knows?

I've off to get some sleep anyway, I need it after that seasogs stuff.

[Eura]

The Euran Football Association’s Copa Rushmori XIX Squad

OOC Note: Johannes Kallstrom is temporary boss while a replacement for Kelly Sporadic is found. Sporadic’s departure will be expanded upon later.

Caretaker Manager: Johannes Kallstrom (Polar Islandstates), 52 years old

Signing his contract on the same day as former boss Kelly Sporadic, Kallstrom is the latest Polarian import to Euran football, reflecting the close admiration by Eurans of their hardy island nature and going the other way an admiration of a culture where football is deeply ingrained as a passion rather than a sport. Kallstrom has enjoyed a spell of success with Kelly since they first took up this leading partnership, though Kallstrom’s role has often been underestimated due to Sporadic’s charisma and the prominence of the team ethic. He played a key role in Eura’s legendary World Cup victory over his own countrymen, and also in Eura reaching a Copa Rushmori final before defeat to Saugeais. However the last two World Cup campaigns have gone badly in their different ways and after a despicable 6-2 defeat to Paradystopia, their positions both looked unsafe.

However, the Euran Football Association stated they would be given time; at least the Copa Rushmori. Yet Kelly Sporadic sensationally resigned, saying that while it broke his heart to do so, he felt culpable for recent poor performances, even going as far as to say that “we need fresh air”, because in his own words, he was “getting on a bit”. Despite increasing unrest at Eura’s sudden inability to perform on the world stage, Sporadic’s departure was met with much sorrow and a flood of tributes. Yet Kallstrom stayed on, and with the public backing of Sporadic, was surprirsingly appointed caretaker boss with the Copa Rushmori in mind. It is highly likely that Kallstrom will either be gone or back in his old role after the Copa, but a good performance might give him a shot at the big time. Kallstrom is more defensive than Sporadic, after the Silixheran had spent years gradually evolving his previously defensive mindset into a hybrid that suited Eura’s strengths. Kallstrom’s first job will be to solve Eura’s awful defensive record, while simultaneously getting their strikers firing and midfield organised.

Assistant: Louis Watson (Eura), 51 years old

Watson has been on the coaching staff for over a decade, and plays a key role in squad selection and maintaining discipline. He has been approached by top foreign clubs for vacant manager positions several times, yet he continued to act as Sporadic’s enforcer and motivator. Largely credited with Eura's fantastic new generation of youth talent in recent years, though he was apparently at odds with Kelly Sporadic as their first couple of tournament performances were very, very lacklustre. Now the assistant boss as long as Kallstrom is in charge, his future looks uncertain. He may go into club management after this stint, or at the other end of the scale he might actually take up the main role in the Euran national team set up.

Head Coach: Steve Thompson (Eura), 47 years old

While Kallstrom and Watson are both long term members of the set up with a great deal of respect from their peers, Steve Thompson is an appointment that puts them both to shame in terms of standing in the eyes of Eurans. Thompson holds the record for Eura caps, having earned an amount of 301 that will certainly never be matched due to how many games Eura played in their early days of competitive international performance. With some managerial experience at club level since he retired from playing as late as age 43, Thompson is a prime candidate for a grooming process that might turn him into the future manager of the national team. Unless the headlines are true and the prodigal Sharp does return, in which case he might be the boss of his former captain.


Styles and Permission

Style Modifier: +1

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:

Choose my goalscorers – YES
Godmod scoring events – YES
RP injuries to my players – YES
Godmod injuries to my players – YES (But only how the injury happens, NOT the extent of the injury)
Hand out yellow cards to my players – YES
Hand out red cards to my players – YES
Godmod other events – YES, provided you keep events within the realms of realism, so no deaths etc. Any bollocks shall be met with maximum force.

25 man squad

Shirt number – name – position – age – caps – goals – club

Goalkeepers

1 – Chris Waller – GK – 30 – 81 – 0 – Ulsa
13 – Carl Brommis – GK – 29 – 9 – 0 – Directus

Defenders

2 – Weylon Churchill – RWB – 27 – 45 – 7 – Spartangrad
4 – Craig Gilbert – CB – 25 – 48 – 2 – Directus
5 – Mark Rogers – CB – 25 – 21 – 0 – Revolutionaries
3 – Andrew Watson – LWB – 24 – 31 – 1 – Directus
21 – Gareth Dawkins – RB – 30 – 34 – 1 – Ulsa
15 – Gavin Madison – CB – 26 – 28 – 0 – Ulsa
19 – Derek Millson – CB – 24 – 9 – 0 – Directus
23 – Lee McKray – LB – 25 – 0 – 0 – Honeybadgers

Midfielders

11 – Mike Adams – RW – 27 – 47 – 12 – Spartangrad
6 – Gareth Blackthorn – CDM/CM – 26 – 72 – 4 – Revolutionaries
8 – John Spartan – CM/CAM – 26 – 80 – 22 – Revolutionaries
7 – Craig Sinclair – AM – 24 – 93 – 36 – Ulsa
12 – Ryan King – AM – 27 – 22 – 7 – Ulsa
16 – Rob Bell – CM – 25 – 17 – 2 – Ulsa
18 – Glenn Anderson – CM – 28 – 66 – 6 – Directus
20 – Charles Hunter – CM – 22 – 0 – 0 – Falourr
22 – Danny Sullivan – LAM – 28 – 0 – 0 – Brigham
24 – Will Andrews – CDM – 22 – 0 – 0 – Bastion

Forwards

10 – Skorji Oslograd – ST – 33 – 119 – 67 – Revolutionaries
9 – Sam Ashtree – ST – 29 – 52 – 22 – Metropolis Alligators (Valladares)
14 – Liam Allen – CF – 28 – 14 – 6 – Revolutionaries
17 – Sam Thomas – CF – 35 – 98 – 40 – Metropolis Alligators (Valladares)
25 – Michael Simpson – ST – 24 – 1 – 0 – Hornchurch

Preferred starting lineup

Note; does not take into account suspensions, injuries or any other change. At the end of each RP I post, I will give a team for the next match and formation type. If no such lineup is posted, assume that there have been no changes and use the lineup below.

GK - 1. C Waller
RB - 2. W Churchilli
RCB - 4. C Gilbert
LCB - 5. M. Rogers
LB - 3. A Watson
RCM – 8. J Spartan
LCM - 6. G Blackthorn
RAM - 11. M Adams
CAM - 7. C Sinclair
LAM – 12. R King
CF - 10. S Oslograd

Subs

13. C Brommis
21. G Dawkins
15. G Madison
19. D Millson
16. R Bell
18. G Anderson
24. W Andrews
14. L Allen
9. S Ashtree

Player Roles

Captain: John Spartan
Vice Captain: Gareth Blackthorn
Direct free kicks: John Spartan, Craig Sinclair, Skorji Oslograd
Indirect free kicks: Weylon Churchilli (Right), Mark Rogers (Either)
Right corner: Craig Sinclair (Both), John Spartan (Outswinging)
Left corner: John Spartan (Inswinging), Craig Sinclair (Both)
Penalties: 1. John Spartan 2. Skorji Oslograd 3. Craig Sinclair 4. Sam Ashtree 5. Mike Adams

Stadium

Eura will play their home matches at the Bastion Arena in the capital city of Eura, Bastion. The stadium seats 110,000 spectators; 75,000-95,000 home, 5,000-25,000 away, 10,000 neutral, special seating and crowd segregation. Or they would usually, but the games of this tournament are on neutral ground. The Euran FA have stated they "cannot be arsed" to remove the stadium information from future squad announcements.

Kits

[Isula ge Ru]

The sun crashed through the Polarian skyline, forcing light into the land where it so often was lacking, and bathing Mitu Maria Albu Saida on the hotel balcony in pallid, filtered white light. In the hotel lobby last night, everyone had agreed that it would be difficult to sleep that night, and yet one by one they had drifted off, until Mitu was the only one left awake amongst a hotel that was the type of dead silence one could only find when beneath the stars of a foreign nation on the eve of a massive football match. It was these kinds of times that one found themselves thinking, about life, about his homeland of Esiru, a small outlying island off the main archipelago of Isula ĝe Ru. Times when he'd think about how the sun rose there with the same wanton aggressiveness it did here in Solovetsky, smashing above the windswept peaks of the Polarian landscape the same way it imposed itself over the battered crags and cliffs that marked Esiru's shoreline. How the rolling hills of Esiru so strangely evoked the combination between modern industrialization and raw northern wilderness that was Svalbard and Polar Islandstates.

How long he sat there would have been difficult to say. Nonsensically long, no doubt, for a footballer with a tournament match on the morrow. They were to face The Kytler Peninsulae, one of the traditional Rushmori powers, and had to hold to some hope of pulling points from that match. Mitu Maria was one of those elements of hope. He'd had some marvelous chances in the match against Pasarga, which had been a grand triumph in that it was the Isulan squad's first ever victory. Nonsensically long indeed he sat there, his thoughts forming mountains, crags, valleys, caves, his mind weaving in and out the way it will when you're watching one of those sunrises that seems to go on forever, when his landscape was stabbed through by a sunrise in the form of a soft voice with a thick Valhallan accent.

"It's five in the morning"

Anneka Bau stood in the doorway, her silver-streaked hair framing the kindly face that was wrinkled slightly by sixty years of smiles and snowflakes.

"I suppose it is, otherwise why would the sun be rising?"

Anneka gave him a look colder than the landscape he was looking at. "You have a game in..." She checked a silver watch "11 hours. Get some sleep."

The silver watch might have been a nod to the nation she was liaison-officerring, but the steel in her tone was not a nod to Mitu Maria. She sounded like a strange Valhallan mother, he thought. Still, she was right. If the team was to do anything half decent tomorrow-no, today, they would need every member at full strength.

"You're right. But you should get some sleep as well. Good night, morning, whatever it is"

"Mitu, I've gotten my sleep. I always wake up at this hour. I find it invigorates the soul a little to watch a sunrise."

Truth be told, Mitu Maria was feeling quite invigorated actually, and not the least interested in going to bed and waking up after a 2-hour power nap groggy, or taking the field in Solovetsky hyped up on caffeine. Sleep didn't always equate to rest, and Mitu felt truly rested after his time on the balcony engaged in what he only supposed could be meditation, though it certainly didn't feel like he was enlightened, just relaxed.

"You've been out here literally all night. What could possibly be weighing so hard on the mind of a young, rich footballer?"

"Be completely honest with you, not one main thing. Lately I was just watching the sunset, oddly reminded of my homeland"

"Your homeland is everyone else's, correct?"

"Not exactly. I'm from the outlying island, Esiru. It's the only place in the nation where the Old Tongue is still spoken, and has its differences with the main country."

"I understand. Go to sleep, Mitu, or don't. Just make sure you're well-rested, and talk to me after the match. I have a feeling we may have more in common than thickly-accented language."

And with that, Anneka left, leaving Mitu to lean on the rail of the balcony and watch the sun soar over the horizon.

---

And the game was a good one

Isula ĝe Ru 1-1 The Kytler Peninsulae

18' Ala Samuél Ĝea goal (ISR)
30' Hugo Rademaker goal (KYP)

---

An OOC Note on my Twitter RPs:
It hasn't yet come up, and I don't expect it to, but here goes. The page I link to in the hyperlinks is one of tweets sorted under a hashtag for the game. Any tweets that may appear under that link that are not by the account @CFNgISROfficial are not my work and should not be counted to my RP bonus.