Zion Government Condemns National Governments for Usual Excess
18th of the First month of Adar, 5774
By Taylor Stein
Zion's Foreign Office issued a series of trenchant, but admittedly toothless
remarks about the state of the world.
New Jerusalem, Zion In a recent press release the Jewish Republic and the Kibbutz National Association, the two heads of the Zion nation, condemned what both called Roman "adventurism" off eastern Italy and Geletian provocation in the Saimonas.
The release was characteristically pithy.
An amount of background: Rome's naval forces have continued an assertive nationalists policy that has been called, alternatively, by the Jewish Republic as "illegal," "regrettable" and "rude." Following reports of another boarding in the Adriatic, that has neither been confirmed nor denied by Rome, the latest condemnation has few adjectives left.
Elsewhere in the country, the national legislature recently passed a bill that recognizes same-sex marriages throughout the empire, and gives same-sex couples the right to a variety of bureaucratic minutiae. The bill allows the couples to file taxes jointly, hospital visitation rights, adoption rights, and inheritance rights. The bill also delineates "homophobia" as a "hate" crime and outlines a punishment regimen of those convicted of attacks against same-sex Romans. The criminal structure allows Roman judges to give sentences that are decades longer than previously afforded.
This has been met with eyebrows in Zion, who remains unimpressed that a blood-thirsty hereditary dictatorship is willing to throw a few scraps to its citizens. Per usual, the Roman government is delivered an admonishment that Jewish synagogues will, and should, do what they want regarding the contentious issue of gay marriage. Moreover, the usual call is sent out to Jews throughout the country encouraging them to emigrate to a country that is so long on empty gestures yet short on substantial reforms that would allow meaningful input from the interested and interesting citizenry.
Across the Adriatic continues the Geletian ethnic cleansing. While the current Geletian campaign to 'cleanse" the territory of the Tsags, while gruesome and tragic, is historically speaking neither new nor remarkable. Population removal and transfer have occurred in history more often than is generally acknowledged. But the banality of the Celts evil is not an excuse, and will not be accepted as one.
Ultimately, whether compelled by deliberate attempts at cleansing or by the "voluntary" flight of refugees, the processes that have shifted thousands of lives in the Saimonas will accomplish the same end. War, prejudice and a desire, finally, to be left in peace will have transformed the peninsula into a land more closely resembling other parts of Europe that have already undergone their own tragic upheavals. The Saimonas too may become a patchwork of ethnically distinct territories. With no sizable minorities left within any state and with the warring factions securely walled off behind "national" boundaries, the best that can be hoped for is that the motors of conflict will be disabled and the fatal cycles of violence that have marred Saimona history will finally have reached their end.
To that end, the various prince-states in the Saimonas, and that now compromise the former Tsag areas, should be detached from Geletia proper.
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