So we were at the 11th Annual White Pride World Wide Resistance Rally in Primm, NV when one of the speakers said something very powerful. He asked:
"Is it hate that we don't want our mothers, our sisters, our wives, and our daughters raped? Is it bigotry that we want white women to be able to walk down the street in broad daylight without fear of being brutally attacked by blacks?"
He was very emphatic about it. In fact, from the way we pumped his fist in the air and spat a little bit as he talked, we kind of got the feeling that he spent a lot of time thinking about this. As he continued, it seemed we were hearing from a really committed white supremacist who apparently invests a good deal of his day developing an extremely detailed scenario in his head involving interracial rape.
And he was right. Here we were, as white men, thinking that our racist ideology was merely a maladaptive and hateful coping mechanism allowing us to channel our cripplingly underdeveloped social skills and fear-based distorted worldview into a fantasy of political relevance and absurd pseudo-heroism. But this man opened our eyes into what radical white power is about: protecting women from sexual violence.
As we drank Pabst Blue Ribbon and took turns hitting on the three women that were present in a crowd of 400, we decided that what we needed to do was find a woman who was about to be raped by blacks and protect her. So we drove around in Earl's "White Rider", which is just like the General Lee from Dukes of Hazard except he couldn't afford a real Dodge challenger so we painted his 1987 Tercel orange and used packing tape to secure a confederate flag to the roof. We can't get all of his mom's "Honk if you love scrapbooking" bumper sticker off, but the blacks still know to stay out of our way.
Anyway, after three hours of driving around asking women whether anyone was trying to rape them, we parked behind the Pump N Lube 'cause Dave needed to use the hose to wash the pepper spray out of his eyes. After a brief conference, we decided that instead, we'd find a women who had already been raped by blacks and avenge her. Unfortunately, after an hour on the phone with every girl we knew, we couldn't find any that actually had been raped by blacks. In fact, the only rape that we personally knew about was when Earl raped his cousin, but he's white, and it was statutory rape anyway.
So, failing to prevent or avenge, we decided the most reasonable thing to do would be to rape a black woman in revenge for all the white women raped by blacks. I had prepared a lengthy and detailed speech about why sex with a black woman, disgusting as it would be, is justified by our need to secure the existence of our race and a future for white children, but strangely nobody seemed to have a problem with the idea.
So, we drove around until we found a black woman in the parking lot of Best Buy. We could tell she was an especially dangerous negress because...(wow, spellcheck didn't red underline "negress"...huh...okay)...because she was dressed as a militant member of the radical black terrorist organization Nation of Islam, in a black suit, white shirt, and thick rimmed glasses.
We charged out of our car, shouting "Prepare to feel the thrust of meaty caucasian justice, nigger bitch" at which point she kicked Earl in the nuts so hard he puked out of his nose because he couldn't open his mouth fast enough. Joey tried to grab her from behind, but she hammer fisted him the cock, then wrapped her purse strap around his neck and swung him into Dave, specifically into Dave's ballsack, at which point Dave vomited onto Joey's back and they both fell backwards onto Earl. At this point, I decided to flank her, but since her right and left were both well defended, I flanked her by moving directly away from her, but I didn't see that big concrete cylinder they paint yellow and put in front of Best Buys (apparently so people don't drive their cars through the front window or something) and I wound up racking my own billiards game, if you know what I mean.
At this point, the dirty Muslim bitch helped us all into her mini-van and drove us to the ER and as they were extricating Earl's testicles from his intestinal cavity, we explained to the spearchucking jigaboo whore that we had nothing against her, we were just trying to stop our mothers from getting raped.
Over the next two hours, amidst the pain and agony and loss of the hospital, people dying and being born, bleeding and fearing and loving, she explained it to us. Apparently rape is about power, not sex or race, and our Klan marches and anti-affirmative action leaflet drops at the university are not preventing a lot of rape. She also explained that she isn't a Muslim of the Nation of Islam, she dressed in a black suit and white shirt because she works for Geek Squad. (Also, apparently "Hitler" is considered a "weak" password for our White Power E-mail server, so on her advice we changed it to cockAsiansR00l#88.)
So now we're sitting at Starbucks, icing our balls and drinking Vente White Chocolate Mochachinos, and we thought we'd ask nationstates:
Who should we believe, the guy at the Rally or the tech support lady from Best Buy? Because if we could decide for ourselves, we wouldn't be in the Klan to begin with...
