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by Saintland » Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:28 pm
by Qazox » Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:35 pm
by Agrincourt » Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:36 pm
by Jeruselem » Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:07 pm
by New Sideburn » Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:32 pm
by Kazamatsuri » Thu Mar 27, 2014 11:03 pm
by Star United States » Thu Mar 27, 2014 11:06 pm
Aritian 2 - 4 Star United States
How's The Rest Doing?
Group 18
New Mumford 2–3 New South Aqmuland
Arititan 2–4 Star United States
The Inevitable Syndicate 0–1 Carialus
Astograth 4–1 The Royal Barangay
Group 18 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Star United States 4 3 1 0 12 8 +4 10
2 Astograth 4 3 0 1 11 4 +7 9
3 The Inevitable Syndicate 4 3 0 1 7 2 +5 9
4 New South Aqmuland 4 2 1 1 9 8 +1 7
5 Carialus 4 2 0 2 6 4 +2 6
6 The Royal Barangay 4 1 1 2 6 9 −3 4
7 Arititan 4 0 1 3 5 12 −7 1
8 New Mumford 4 0 0 4 5 14 −9 0
Star United States Goals, so far
Goals
Garrison - 1 (Match 1 - Minute 44)
Soarison - 4 (Match 1 - Minute 47, Match 3 - Minute 44 & 79, Match 4 - Minute 83)
Gonzalez - 3 (Match 1 - Minute 85, Match 2 - Minute 88, Match 4 - Minute 12)
Gasteiz - 2 (Match 2 - Minute 49, Match 4 - Minute 10)
Stafford - 1 (Match 4 - Minute 51)
World Cup Qualifiers 68 Matches
Upcoming Home Games Venues
Today's Match
by Jeru FC » Thu Mar 27, 2014 11:18 pm
by Gloriax » Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:04 am
by Kazamatsuri » Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:39 am
by Kalumba » Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:53 am
by Nexxus Drako » Fri Mar 28, 2014 2:06 am
Braylandia 3–5 Nexxus Drako
12', 78' Robert Hill
23, 45' Lio Golt
67' Kevin Arland
1 President elected by House of Representatives
1 Vice President chosen by President
10-25 man Cabinet chosen by President
600 seat House of Representatves elected by public using Closed List PR
Unlimited Parties and Candidates
by Paradystopia » Fri Mar 28, 2014 2:17 am
by Kazamatsuri » Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:07 am
by Ko-oren » Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:40 am
by Zwangzug » Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:45 am
Q: Thanks for coming!
A: My pleasure. An honor to be here.
Q: How are you liking Kerlagrad?
A: It's...uh. So far I've eaten rather filling touristy food...
Q: Say no more.
A: Yeah.
Q: So, uh, when'd you get into football? Maybe a silly question to ask, at your age, but--
A: It's okay.
Q: --was your family into it, growing up?
A: Absolutely, my older sisters would play with me...they liked to score, they put me on defense, I wasn't very good...it was my parents who had to say "give him a try up somewhere else"--of course attack, midfield, all the same when you're playing that few at a time--but we had fun.
Q: But when did you realize there was more to it than that, that you could keep going at a higher level?
A: Have I now? This still doesn't feel like something I'm actually doing, all of the time--but I'm not expecting to be--there are no scouts, here.
Q: Yeah, they're as unimpressed by the Kerlagrad trains as the rest of us.
A: Ouch. But you know what I mean, this is as far as I'm going--yet all the same, it still feels like just another step?
Q: That's fair. What have been the biggest surprises so far?
A: The whole health thing? That--obviously everyone knows you don't want to get injured. Sure, fine. I don't either. But the importance of staying healthy, because you're not going to put roots down here--Kerlagrad or anywhere else. Right? If you get sick, it's really a grind.
Q: Must be intimidating.
A: Okay, maybe the starters are a little more paranoid, "oh we've got to be great at playing through everything," but look, this isn't--some kind of national team, once upon a time--we have benchwarmers! Eh?
Q: He said without a hint of bias...
A: Oh naturally, I would never dream of someone getting hurt...!
Q: That aside, how are your relationships with your teammates?
A: Uh, surprisingly--we're not--look I'm the new kid, I have to...we don't have a pecking order or anything? But I have to put up with a lot. I'm not going to fall back on cliches about being a big family because we don't particularly--share a lot in common, off the field--but we have to put up with each other, at our worst, for a long time.
Q: If I asked the others, "what's the new kid like, you have to put up with him," what would they tell me?
A: Oh my goodness. I really don't want to know.
Q: Well, guess. I'm not going to.
A: He's--I'm--ouch. He's nice and quiet and kisses butt. Yeah?
Q: Come on.
A: I called it soccer last week. Haven't heard the end of it.
Q: Oh!
A: Rookie mistake.
Q: Lots of people do.
A: Fewer and fewer now. I wonder--
Q: Yeah?
A: Never mind.
Q: I'll edit this down.
A: You'd better. No, what it would have taken--I've had so many opportunities in my life, that most people don't get, right? So I'm happy. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like, to play for some kind of national team. All the annoying travel, all the razzing for the wrong jargon, taken up to another level--
Q: There'd be enough linguistic diversity on a national team, I think.
A: Well. In Zwangzug.
Q: You're not eligible to play anywhere else?
A: Hah! No. Unless there's an all-diaspora team...mom and dad would be so proud...
Q: You never know. Okay, what's the best game you've played in?
A: Played, for longer than five minutes--when I was in middle school, we won our district semifinal--I got this fluky assist. This midfielder--she would have been a striker if she'd internalized the offsides rule, but that was never going to happen--their defenders couldn't trap, she should never have gotten to that position. I wanted to score, but they were onto me, so I chipped it a little, and she drove it in. Made it four-three. And we got blanked in the final, but that was--a different ending. I'll give you that.
Q: Sorry. When was this?
A: Eighth grade.
Q: Right.
A: Look I'm not a very interesting person, if you interview me, what kind of sample size do you have to draw from?
Q: Who were your favorite players growing up? If you--
A: Whoever I could get on TV. Didn't follow any of the teams.
Q: --hadn't finished growing.
A: This Kerlagrad food will stunt my growth, don't worry.
Q: Well-said!
by Mizuyuki » Fri Mar 28, 2014 4:42 am
Kazamatsuri wrote:Because my inspiration has just tanked, y'all will be subjected to my mind-numbingly boring match reports every day from now on.
by Electrum » Fri Mar 28, 2014 5:11 am
"Oy you f******, can't you see?"
"How the h*** was that offside?"
"That was a trip you mongrel!"
"Your mum kicks better than that guy!"
"******** **** ****** **** chicken *** ****** ****?!?!"
"We are Electrum, the mighty Electrum
and we are mental and we are mad
we are the greatest country in the whole wide world"
Lymantatia 7-1 Electrum
Lymantatian Goal Scorers
Johnson 21' 31' 72'
Bressler 33' 50' 53' 74' 82'
Electrum Goal Scorers
Lynn-Peters 48'
It was an admittedly poor performance from the team. It was their first away match in a World Cup, and it was against Lymantatia, a hermit in the multiverse. Electrum had a poor form going into this match after their losses in the Baptism of Fire, but one has to wonder, where is the teamwork form the Lymantatian team? They had several more opportunities than the 7 goals, but their midfielders always passed it along to Johnson and Bressler to score the goal. One wonders how many goals it will they take by themselves before they bore themselves out by scoring goal after goal through a leaky defense. Electrum scored its only goal against Lymantatia in the 48th minute where Lynn-Peters snuck the ball into the corner, showing great finesse as the ball spun into the top left corner. Too bad that was the only chance he got with the possession heavily swining in Lymantatia's favour throughout the match.
Armakistan 5-1 Electrum
Armakistani Goal Scorers
Kelly 36'
Bell 42'
Bucklebury 54'
Appleby 71'
Taser 83'
Electrum Goal Scorers
Krane 5'
After their poor start, Electrum had a miserable game against Armakistan in the capital city of Victoria. One wonders how Armakistan gained entry into the World Cup as riots were present throughout the capital. The game had a 5 minute delay, letting Krane capitalise early on when Armakistan was just shaking off their nerves of the riots. It all went downhill from here though, with Armakistan scoring five consecutive goals with Electrum unable to gain possession of the ball yet again. Serious rethinking from Coach Wilkinson is required to overcome the next few teams. The extraordinary scoreline was not the headline of the day however, with 2 Armakistani fans losing their lives and 34 injured as a result of the riots. Guns were seized from the stadium, but it's unknown who exactly fired the shots. Nonetheless, the Electrum Government has issued a travel warning of 'Reconsider your need to travel' for Armakistan after the riots in the capital. Thank goodness our players won't go through that experience again as they will host them again on Match Day 10.
Group 19 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Northern Sunrise Islands 4 4 0 0 15 2 +13 12
2 Armakistan 4 3 0 1 19 9 +10 9
3 Quakmybush 4 2 1 1 14 11 +3 7
4 Kinitaria 4 2 1 1 13 10 +3 7
5 Lymantatia 4 1 2 1 12 8 +4 5
6 Electrum 4 1 0 3 8 18 −10 3
7 Bonticello 4 0 2 2 5 11 −6 2
8 Ratastan 4 0 0 4 3 20 −17 0
by Chiata » Fri Mar 28, 2014 6:14 am
by Carialus » Fri Mar 28, 2014 7:06 am
by Gloriax » Fri Mar 28, 2014 7:11 am
GLORIAX 1-0 BLACKLYFFE
by New Montreal States » Fri Mar 28, 2014 7:16 am
Paradystopia wrote:Positions vacant- Are you 'completely off your rocker'?
- Does covering your naked body with jam and running around an apiary sound like fun?
- Would you consider marrying a fillet of beef?
- Do people generally say of you 'Stay away from them, they're a bit weird'.
If you answered YES to any of the above questions, you may be just what we're looking for at the PDABBHSTRD(AD): the Paradystopi Department for the Advancement of Bonkers Behaviour and Horseradish Surveillance Technique Research Department (Audioslavian Division). We are currently seeking individuals to help maintain the high standards of insanity commonly associated with Paradystopia and also to keep an eye on the horseradish, obviously. That bit goes without saying.
Interested? Are you wondering how to apply? Great!
Paradystopia wrote:So, if you think you've got what it takes to work for the PDABBHSTRD(AD), contact us in one of these ways.
Phone +20919-999 and say 'Quack quack. I'm a Goose, Dammit!' - The number is actually for the emergency services in The Inevitable Syndicate but if you vehemently insist you're a goose, they'll be able to connect your call. Or offer you a spot in one of their domestic teams. Either's good, right?
E-mail your CV or online videos of your exploits to meikuukuyoulongtime@apoxonline.apx. Yeah, we're totally stealing a wifi connection from Apox. How is that possible from a completely different region, you ask? Never underestimate the power of horseradish surveillance my friend.
Telepathically submit your application. Though the PDABBHSTRD(AD) accepts no responsibility for any lost applications due to lack of sufficient telepathic technology here in Audioslavia.
Got everything you need? Good.
We look forward to receiving your applications.
by McKleigh » Fri Mar 28, 2014 7:23 am
by Menukten » Fri Mar 28, 2014 7:36 am
by Razul » Fri Mar 28, 2014 8:25 am
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