DEFEATED: Commend Yelda

[A mean old man]

50 approvals in less than nine hours. This could be a record breaker...

Uni's hit quorum in like 4-5 hours before if I'm not mistaken.

Bah, what do you know...

Two more approvals and it's up!

[Unibotian WA Mission]

50 approvals in less than nine hours. This could be a record breaker...

Uni's hit quorum in like 4-5 hours before if I'm not mistaken.

Bah, what do you know...

Two more approvals and it's up!

My record so far is three & a half, for "A Promotion of Basic Education" -- that was fast! GR started campaigning about noon, and Sionis didn't submit till about seven o'clock, and we were neck-and-neck to reach quorum, four or five approvals apart.

For "Condemn Greater Tez" there was less pressure to get in the queue, so I took my time and used the SC list instead of the GA list -- which is shorter, but doesn't include all of the SC haters (less angry telegrams!) except Mikeswill and a few others who just vote to lower the approval rate on every proposal.

[A mean old man]

Hmph. I blame page two. And Sunday.

[Topid]

Mine never do that good either. I figure so long as you make it in the 3 or so days given, who cares.

[A mean old man]

Well, I've never had a resolution do it in under a day before, so this is cool for me.

[A mean old man]

Approvals: 55 (Oh my Days, Ananke II, FASTERCAT, Todd McCloud, Fioteria, Charlotte Ryberg, Almaniania, Conservative Alliances, Siberiak, Heilgerkreutz, Nemonicus, The Tofu Islands, Magikavela, Grittonia, Poree, Sionis Prioratus, Sivonaa, Lenyo, NewTexas, Palaam, Esternial, Raludcia, Churchilland, Vega-Altair, Aglrinia, Wikipediait, Mousebumples, Inthrasia, ILYLOL, LOL ANARCHY NUBZ, BigDville, Andertion, Maltropia, Tinis, Belrussia, Radautzi, South Norwega, Joshuahood, Veska Islands, The Eternal Kawaii, King Kulla, Kepra, Jey, Corrano, Vitya, Belkan Provinces, Varadarajan2, Chuck Norris Haters, Kubrikistan, Illyriel, Horrifica, Tall Tramps, The Noble Gases, ROMPA, Quoziced)

Status: Quorum Reached: In Queue!

Attained at 9:54 PM EST - less than 11 hours after submittal

[Topid]

Very good job AMOM. I must admit being a bit unsure about this poem business, but, I suppose I can deal with the oddness. Though I'm interested to see if the lemmings will quickly vote against based on odd shape of text (I believe they could probably manage this without the risk of accidentally reading a word).

Good luck on the voting floor!

[A mean old man]

Wow! Thanks to all of you guys!

Approvals: 87 (Oh my Days, Ananke II, FASTERCAT, Todd McCloud, Fioteria, Charlotte Ryberg, Almaniania, Conservative Alliances, Siberiak, Heilgerkreutz, Nemonicus, The Tofu Islands, Magikavela, Grittonia, Poree, Sionis Prioratus, Sivonaa, Lenyo, NewTexas, Palaam, Esternial, Raludcia, Churchilland, Vega-Altair, Aglrinia, Wikipediait, Mousebumples, Inthrasia, ILYLOL, LOL ANARCHY NUBZ, BigDville, Andertion, Maltropia, Tinis, Belrussia, Radautzi, South Norwega, Joshuahood, Veska Islands, The Eternal Kawaii, King Kulla, Kepra, Jey, Corrano, Vitya, Belkan Provinces, Varadarajan2, Chuck Norris Haters, Kubrikistan, Illyriel, Horrifica, Tall Tramps, The Noble Gases, ROMPA, Quoziced, Cerealean, Picklepoo, Order of Crimson, Aven Dale, Allemonde, Pinnopia, Lives Relived, Duckside, Jimmy Hart, Former Principalities, Cobdenia, British Unionists, -Hellkite-, The LoUnited Nations, Ackuzay NLA, MacroGlup, Seraikistan, Zweilhander, Vici Minerva, Millrovia, Magical mystery island, Elliotsmx, Harry and the Potterz, Demataria, Foyador, Bears Armed Mission, Arden Hills, Bralia, Floreria, Rutilus Verita, Old Zertaxia, The Blue Chocobo)

Oh, and it just surpassed your latest, Uni, and in much less time. So there!

[Unibot]

Oh, and it just surpassed your latest, Uni, and in much less time. So there!

OOC: Ha, well mine's not a poem, and its not commending one of my heroes.. so, I claim 'not fair'!

[Crabulonia]

Very good times and let's hope this doesn't get shot down by the ignorant masses, not aware of the many acheivements of Yelda (like me but I read the poem) and shocked by the poem format of the proposal.

[Yelda]

The Scene: The office of Yeldan Foreign Minister, Quynn Olver. Present are the Foreign Minister himself, along with former NSUN Ambassadors Aüþgæþ Spøtyiú and Felix Dzerzhinsky.

The discussion: A disturbing recent episode of the popular TV show The World Assembly.

Olver: ...so I'm sitting there, I've got my brandy, I've just lit a cigar, I'm watching the show and waiting for them to switch to the weekly Stranger's Bar segment....when they flash this "Commend Yelda" thing on the screen. I sort of chuckled to myself and thought "so they're C&Cing real nations now? First they condemn the Federal Republic, now this. What'll they come up with next?" Then...

Dzerzhinsky: It is a decadent attempt to undermine our policies. I recall a speech by Stalin in which he stated...

Spøtyiú rolls his eyes.

Olver: Nah nah, not now Felix. Let me finish.

Anyway, so I zoom in on the text and start reading. I can't make heads or tails of the thing.

There be a sillious soul among us today,
Among us today in the great WA,
Who brightens our day when our day has gone gray,
With proposals and humor and Knootian “gay spray,”

Who are they talking about here? Have either of you ever seen any Yeldans using the Knootian spray on the set of this show?

Spøtyiú: The only Yeldans present there would likely be tourists in the studio audience. I can't imagine how civilians would get their hands on Gay Spray.

Olver: Felix?

Dzerzhinsky: The Committee for State Security does not deploy Knootian weaponry. Besides, we have no presence on the set of The World Assembly at this time.

Olver: Hmmm. OK. Then there's this next bit.

His names be of many of his puppet empire,
Like Yelda or Hiriaurtung or New Leicestershire,
And Mad Sheep and Glog and Aundotutunagir,
With syllables so strange and so marvelous to hear,

Olver: Why would they be associating us with the damned Aundotutunagirians? And again, who are they referring to? It's obviously a reference to an individual person, not the government. Do you think they could be insinuating something about Chairman Diřgę?

Dzerzhinsky: It seems to imply that we, or this person, whoever he is, control those nations.

Spøtyiú: This could be rather embarrassing. I'm sure the government of New Leicestershire won't be thrilled to learn that they are now a puppet of Yelda. I will contact them myself and try to clear this up before any damage is done.

Olver: Yes, do that.

It gets worse though.

Iron Felix was once a prized face of he,
With its rather keen interest in necromancy,
And its massive devotion to the NSUN,
long before the World Assemblian opium den,

Olver: Felix? Your thoughts on this?

Dzerzhinsky: They seem to be aware of my having been reanimated. That fact is public record though. At least they did not refer to me as a zombie like they do in the Kennyite press. Why do they refer to me as an 'it' though? I think I am insulted.

Olver: Yes. Look at this next part.

Lately we see him with Arororugul,
Assuring that things here will never grow dull,
He also was present with Mad Sheep Railgun,
Keeping things thoughtful yet awfully fun,

Spøtyiú: Are they saying that General Arororugul is a Yeldan agent? Is that what they mean?

Olver: Hell if I know. And what the fuck is a Mad Sheep Railgun? That old illegal NSUN proposal? Do they think we were behind that nonsense?

Spøtyiú: It would seem so...

He amuseth us greatly with that he creates,
Such as the insertion of popcorn in serious debates,
Our good old friend Yelda will often play the big fool,
Thus helping things from growing too nasty and cruel,

His resolutions be many and proposals be more,
Nineteen have been passed and more are in store,
Clever they are whether helpful they may be,
And some give a great laugh to both you and me,

Olver: Popcorn?

Spøtyiú: *shrugs*

Olver: And 19 Resolutions? Assuming that they are talking about Chairman Diřgę, are either of you aware of him ever writing any Resolutions?

Spøtyiú: None.

Dzerzhinsky: All of our Resolutions have been written by either yourself, me, or Comrade Spøtyiú. Chairman Diřgę is too busy for such things.

Olver: Indeed. Here's the ending.

While silly he can seem and mock he may do,
Great wisdom and insight does sometimes break through,
Analogies and comments on intentions and deeds,
And in enlightening minds he often succeeds,

So come one and come all, witness this spectacular man,
As he entertains the WA however he can,
We dance a jig of jubilant joy,
In honor of a truly hilarious boy,

A pat on the back and a cheer of acclaim,
While we give good old Yelda his moment of fame,
Remembering you since nearly antiquity,
Yelda, the World Assembly hereby does COMMEND thee.

Olver: So, just what in the HELL is this thing about?

At this point a courier arrives and hands an envelope to Felix, then leaves.

Dzerzhinsky: Comrade Foreign Minister, Spøtyiú and I took the liberty of sending the text of this Commendation to the CSS Encryption Lab. The results of their analysis are in this envelope.

Felix opens the envelope, which contains a single sheet of paper, while the other two look over his shoulder.

Dzerzhinsky: Oh my God....

Spøtyiú: A declaration of war?

Olver: From a TV show?

[Enn]

Knootian Gay Spray? Is that what they're calling Aram Koopman's pyromaniac tendencies these days?

Stephanie Fulton, of Enn

[Mad Sheep Railgun]

Knootian Gay Spray? Is that what they're calling Aram Koopman's pyromaniac tendencies these days?

Stephanie Fulton, of Enn

Gay Spray.

[A mean old man]

I've got a reply to your wacky roleplayed post; it'll be up later.

One thing I did notice, though...

...is that this is going to be up to vote on April fool's.

Oh my God.

Perfect.

[A mean old man]

Well, it's exactly 100 minutes until this hirrarrious thang comes up to vote, and I'd like to issue yet another large "thank ye" to all of the literarily advanced delegatesters who approved this marvelous madness.

Approvals: 115 (Oh my Days, Ananke II, FASTERCAT, Fioteria, Charlotte Ryberg, Conservative Alliances, Heilgerkreutz, The Tofu Islands, Magikavela, Grittonia, Poree, Sionis Prioratus, Sivonaa, Lenyo, NewTexas, Palaam, Esternial, Raludcia, Churchilland, Vega-Altair, Wikipediait, Mousebumples, Inthrasia, ILYLOL, LOL ANARCHY NUBZ, BigDville, Andertion, Maltropia, Tinis, Belrussia, Radautzi, South Norwega, Joshuahood, Veska Islands, The Eternal Kawaii, King Kulla, Kepra, Jey, Corrano, Vitya, Belkan Provinces, Varadarajan2, Chuck Norris Haters, Kubrikistan, Illyriel, Horrifica, Tall Tramps, The Noble Gases, Quoziced, Cerealean, Picklepoo, Order of Crimson, Aven Dale, Allemonde, Pinnopia, Lives Relived, Duckside, Jimmy Hart, Former Principalities, Cobdenia, British Unionists, -Hellkite-, The LoUnited Nations, Ackuzay NLA, MacroGlup, Seraikistan, Zweilhander, Vici Minerva, Millrovia, Magical mystery island, Elliotsmx, Demataria, Foyador, Bears Armed Mission, Arden Hills, Floreria, Rutilus Verita, Old Zertaxia, The Blue Chocobo, New Kervoskia, Democratic Eurasia, Selenaqui, Kawther, Callisdrun, Jethro Tull People, Quinquex, 343 Guilty Sparks, Fredric Mann, Almaniania, Xikuang, Torukia, Griffin Somerset, Pandemicia, Loehrer, NeoAprilius, Hokanland, Nazi Centauri, Pope Von Baron III, Leather-clad Germany, Father motherland, Burchadinger, Sreejit, New Buckner, Baslands, Jedi-Gangsters, Valbara, Valariush, Isosceles triangles, St Germier, Princess Cheryl, Verukt, Aricus, Itailian Maifias, Korriban V, Faighghi Ar Meisce)

[A mean old man]

The Legend of Yelda is now...

AT VOTE!

...and I have been the first to vote FOR! I'm so special.

Remember, my fellow WA hooligans, a vote against is not an option! With it comes eternal shame and degradation, the likes of which none could endure for a period of over ten minutes without taking the recommended dosage of Viagra and standing on their head for the following thirty minutes! A vote FOR, however, will bring you instant salvation...



...it's good for your health, soul, and funny bone!

[Yelda]

Quynn Olver and Aüþgæþ Spøtyiú are seated in the Foreign Minister's office watching The World Assembly on television.

Olver: Hey it's at vote! Aüþgæþ, are we certain about this declaration of war business.

Spøtyiú: Yes. The Committee for State Security encryption lab applied numerous algorithms to the text. When translated into Yeldan and read backwards, reading every sixth letter renders the message "we declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Yelda on Friday, Apr 17, 2009 , a state of war has existed between the nations of the World Assembly and the People's Democratic Republic of Yelda."

Olver: What the fuck did we do on Friday, Apr 17, 2009?

Spøtyiú: Nothing.

Olver: Well, something must have happened on that day that they think we're responsible for. Any notable events on that day?

Spøtyiú: *lets out a sigh* Hiriaurtung Arororugul passed the WA Labor Relations Act, which....

Olver:...is a reworking of the UN Labor Relations Act which that lunatic Arororugul submitted on behalf of Soviet Arkansas.

Spøtyiú: Yes.

Olver: And so why are these TV people upset about that? It was one of their most popular episodes! Hell, we even sent a giant communist robot to terrorize the studio audience. Don't they have any idea how much that thing cost?

Spøtyiú: We're still analysing the situation. We think some of these WA "nations" may be fronts for real life nations, possibly nations which have been hostile to us in the past.

Olver: So since the demise of the NSUN, in the absence of a real international body, you think they've set up this reality show to pose....as a reality show..... when in fact behind the scenes it is some sort of real international organization...masquerading as a TV show....masquerading as an international organization?

Spøtyiú: Possibly. Have you discussed this with Chairman Diřgę?

Olver: I told him a TV show had declared war on us. He said to record it and send him a copy.

Spøtyiú: Do you suppose one of us should visit the set and try to ascertain the seriousness of this situation?

Olver: One of us? No no. We need to stay here and monitor things. If your encryption experts are right we'll need to organize a pre-emptive strike, something quick and decisive. I don't think the public has the stomach for a protracted war right now so it'll have to be rather brutal. I've already discussed it with Admiral Naelêr and Field Marshal Fedmög.

Spøtyiú: Well shouldn't we send someone? Play along with the premise of the show and make a "diplomatic response"?

Olver: Oh we have sent someone. Felix left for the World Assembly about two hours ago, along with the DEFENESTRATINATOR V2, Mister Jones, and several thousand Destructor Bunnies.

Spøtyiú: Then I suppose we should prepare for war....

[Diatraba]

Yelda? Hmnnn never heard of them....

I fully agree, but, owing to the overwelming evidence of his World Assembly and United Nations work, I am forced (by my conscience) to vote for this resolution, even though it commends a nation who hardly anyone knows of.


Je suis entièrement d'accord, mais, en raison de la preuve accablante de son travail pour l'Assemblée et des Nations Unies, je suis obligé (par ma conscience) de voter pour cette résolution, même si elle se félicite d'une nation qui presque personne ne sait d'.

Stimme ich voll zu, aber aufgrund der überwältigenden Beweise für seine Arbeit für die Versammlung und der Vereinten Nationen, bin ich gezwungen (durch mein Gewissen), für diese Entschließung stimmen, obwohl es ein Volk, das kaum jemand kennt würdigt.

Estoy totalmente de acuerdo, pero, debido a la abrumadora evidencia de su trabajo para la Asamblea y de las Naciones Unidas, me veo obligado (por mi conciencia) a votar por esta resolución, a pesar de que elogia una nación que casi nadie conoce.

[The Palentine]

at the Palntine delegation there was a strange sight.Insted of an ambassador there was a rather largish portable aquarium, and inside said aquarium were a small pod of dolphins. this of course brought smiles to some of the newer membrs of the SC, because as everybody knew dolphins are cute, cuddly, and beloved by children everywhere. however those who have been around the Festering Sankepit knew better, and prepared themselves accordingly. Younger deleages and pregnant women fled the council chambers en mass because these were no ordinary dolphins....these were the Palentine's very own Naval dolphins, the foul mouthes scourge of the southern seas. They hooted and jeered most profanely at the delegate from Diatraba.

I fully agree, but, owing to the overwelming evidence of his World Assembly and United Nations work, I am forced (by my conscience) to vote for this resolution, even though it commends a nation who hardly anyone knows of.

What the <censored>< foul word>< bleep> are you talking about you <very gross word><dirty phrase> ninny? Everybody<filthy word><profane action>knows about the<dirty word><unnatural act> Yeldans! <Foul word><gross act>Defenestrations! Fine <censored>Yeldan<bleeps>Iron<filthy word>Felix!<nasty word><filthy adjective><foul word> Destructor bunnies! What more do you need you<unbelieveably gross and foul epitath>?

More dolphinic laughter, hooting and jeering continues...

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

even though it commends a nation who hardly anyone knows of.

If you say so, member since Dec. 12, 2009.

[Diatraba]

even though it commends a nation who hardly anyone knows of.

If you say so, member since Dec. 12, 2009.

And, Honoured ambassador whose nation was condemned by Security Council Resolution no. 17, what exactly is your point?
Et, ambassadeur émérite dont la nation a été condamnée par le Conseil de sécurité Résolution no. 17, ce qui est exactement votre question?

[Philimbesi]

even though it commends a nation who hardly anyone knows of

Obviously your sarcasm meter should be checked. I know Yelda, and you sir, are no Yelda.

[A mean old man]

even though it commends a nation who hardly anyone knows of.

Ever heard of Mad Sheep Railgun? Hiriaurtung Arororugul? 0rville Redenbacher? New Leicestershire? Iron Felix?

[Unibotian WASC Mission]

even though it commends a nation who hardly anyone knows of.

If you say so, member since Dec. 12, 2009.

And, Honoured ambassador whose nation was condemned by Security Council Resolution no. 17, what exactly is your point?
Et, ambassadeur émérite dont la nation a été condamnée par le Conseil de sécurité Résolution no. 17, ce qui est exactement votre question?

OOC: Besides the snarkiness, I'd like to point out that "Condemn Greater Tez" pretty much broke any window preventing C&Cs for younger, n00bish players like Yelda.

To be perfectly dishonest, I don't know why we're commending such a n00b -- he's never around it seems -- I've only ever seen his 'puppets'.

[Laderhig]

To be perfectly dishonest, I don't know why we're commending such a n00b -- he's never around it seems -- I've only ever seen his 'puppets'.

OOC: I'm a lurker mainly (compare my post count to my join date lol), but I took my a long while to realise everyone in the WA has 10 different puppets each with a different personality. I really thought they are distinct people , and often wondered why they don't post anymore.

IC: The nation of Laderhig supports this resolution....errr is this is the nation with the famed Death Star? We better bloody well support it then!