Audioslavia wrote:Group G
Starblaydia 0–0 The Inevitable Syndicate
Perlasilangan 0–1 Lymryk Isles
Group G Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Starblaydia 2 1 1 0 1 0 +1 4
The Inevitable Syndicate 2 1 1 0 1 0 +1 4
3 Lymryk Isles 2 1 0 1 1 1 0 3
4 Perlasilangan 2 0 0 2 0 2 −2 0
"Well that's a boring group so far," photogenic SCB:Sports host Trey Parker said, "who brought all the va'karela to Group G?"
"Is not boring football," Kansu yelled, "is beautiful not-conceding, not-losing play!"
"Come on, Kanny, that was the very definition of a 'bore draw' against the Inevitable Syndicate."
Kansu Corona was often wound up like this on SCB:Sports. A Starblaydi of Rejistanian descent, the Orange-Blues culture of defensive play was so ingrained in him, a former centre-back, that compared to the other vaguely-cult journeymen on the commentary and analysis teams he was a model of boring, defensive play. All you had to do, generally, was complain about a team not going forward enough or, on a bad day, mention the less-than-exciting prospect of a team lining up with a 4-5-1, and Kanny would launch into one of his famous rants about defending. You could find video clips of this all over the internet. In TV sports journalism terms it made Kansu - known as Kanny - a minor celebrity who you either loved, or hated. Or a little bit of both.
"But Zambrano has been a god amongst men," Kansu said by way of reply, "his touch, his technique, his vision, his tackling, has all been brilliant and the Starblaydi and Syndicate defences have taken their cues from his amazing examples. Unbelievable, Trey!"
"Even for his yellow card?"
"...er, his what?"
"The yellow card, Kanny," Trey replied, "for his tackle on, um, Pratt I think it was, late in the first half. Clear-cut goalscoring opportunity, that should have been a straight red."
"He got a yellow card?"
"Yes, Kanny, we were talking about it at the time."
"For a tackle? Bad tackle?"
"Yes."
"Oh. Didn't see that." Kansu said, to the chuckles of the other guests in the studio around him.
"There was practically a fight when the ref didn't produce a red card," Trey insisted with that twinkle in his eye, "a dozen or so players pushing and shoving."
"Oh!" Kanny said, remembering, "I saw that! I thought it was Half Time."
"Can someone get me a commentator who actually watched this game?"