The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Imperium of Tanith]

*snip*

OOC: I don't think there are sidewalks below, and the Bar is on something like 5th floor.

OOC: Is it? I missed that part, I'll edit that to make him fall on a balcony or something.

[The Eternal Kawaii]

OOC: I don't think there are sidewalks below, and the Bar is on something like 5th floor.

OOC: Is it? I missed that part, I'll edit that to make him fall on a balcony or something.

OOC: No, no, a good defenestration doesn't require editing.

[Imperium of Tanith]

OOC: Is it? I missed that part, I'll edit that to make him fall on a balcony or something.

OOC: No, no, a good defenestration doesn't require editing.

OOC: You make a very valid point, if this guy can recover quickly from multiple injuries and defenstrations, he can take it.

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

OOC: As are you, apparently.

(OOC: Sorry, been quite busy IRL lately. One of these days I'll be able to dedicate more than a few minutes a day to NS again :-)

OOC: I know the feeling. Goddamn finals.

[Murray the Evil Skull]

From his spot on the bar, Murray is serenading a couple of Sanrio Kittens still hanging out by the Shrine of the Manifestation with some Louis Prina.

".....IIIIIIIIII ain't goooooot noooboooddddyyy!"

The old Kawaiian nekomusume, busying herself with straightening up the curio stand near the Shrine of the Manifestation where she had been selling charms and other bric-a-brac to the still occasional pilgrims, glanced over at Murray and said, "Now demon, mind your behavior. My granddaughter called and said she and the Kalif are back from their honeymoon. They'll be arriving shortly."

Murray quickly stopped his serenading....Kawaiian grandmothers are made of some stern stuff, and definately someone you do not want to cross. Murray really didn't want to cross this Kawaiian grandmother, who had a reputation of being fairly handy with a purification staff. He certianly didn't feel like ending up like a baseball hit from the bat of Willie Stargell. Nodding politely he replied,
"Yes Oma-sama! I'll be sure to be on my best behavior."

[Imperium of Tanith]

(OOC: I love the fact that nobody cares that I just sent another Ambassador falling to potentially his death. )

[Araraukar]

(OOC: I love the fact that nobody cares that I just sent another Ambassador falling to potentially his death. )

OOC: He survived one such attempt already, read back.

EDIT: I'll get back to the matter of the flying cactus in a bit. Just waiting to hear from Abacathea, so he won't get another heart attack with the plant creepiness.

[Cardoness]

Lord Andreas entered the bar thinking how good it was to be back home, strange as it is. The civil wars had ended, the crown had been restored, and he had once again been called upon by his king to represent the people of Cardoness in the most bizarre organization in the multiverse. Even though he didn't normally smoke, he had brought a cigar with him to celebrate the occasion. He was given the cigar by some half crazed cable repairman talking about aliens and dinosaurs and what not. The guy had told him not to smoke it until the fat lady sings. Well, that was always about a shot and a half away from happening here so here he was. He walked up to Murray...

Excuse me, do you have a light?

[Bloodstone Kay]

I'm sure he has one in his pockets somewhere...

[Murray the Evil Skull]

Lord Andreas entered the bar thinking how good it was to be back home, strange as it is. The civil wars had ended, the crown had been restored, and he had once again been called upon by his king to represent the people of Cardoness in the most bizarre organization in the multiverse. Even though he didn't normally smoke, he had brought a cigar with him to celebrate the occasion. He was given the cigar by some half crazed cable repairman talking about aliens and dinosaurs and what not. The guy had told him not to smoke it until the fat lady sings. Well, that was always about a shot and a half away from happening here so here he was. He walked up to Murray...

Excuse me, do you have a light?

The EVILEST talking skull in NS turned his malevolent gaze to Lord Andreas. Suddenly the skull started shuddering violently and making horking and coughing sounds. A few minutes later Murray horked up a matchbox advertising Minsky's Burlesque Club. The matchbook cover features Senator Sulla's secretary Velma performing a tassle dance.
"It that good enough, Mortal, or do you want a lighter?"

I'm sure he has one in his pockets somewhere...

Har de har, mortal! Everybody's a comedian these days...

(ooc: the matches are dry and ready to use. The horking them up is something from the version of Murray I use in my Toon(TM) game. Since he doesn't have pockets he swallows things and horks them up later when needed.)

[Cardoness]

Lord Andreas entered the bar thinking how good it was to be back home, strange as it is. The civil wars had ended, the crown had been restored, and he had once again been called upon by his king to represent the people of Cardoness in the most bizarre organization in the multiverse. Even though he didn't normally smoke, he had brought a cigar with him to celebrate the occasion. He was given the cigar by some half crazed cable repairman talking about aliens and dinosaurs and what not. The guy had told him not to smoke it until the fat lady sings. Well, that was always about a shot and a half away from happening here so here he was. He walked up to Murray...

Excuse me, do you have a light?

The EVILEST talking skull in NS turned his malevolent gaze to Lord Andreas. Suddenly the skull started shuddering violently and making horking and coughing sounds. A few minutes later Murray horked up a matchbox advertising Minsky's Burlesque Club. The matchbook cover features Senator Sulla's secretary Velma performing a tassle dance.
"It that good enough, Mortal, or do you want a lighter?"

This will be fine.

Lord Andreas struck a match and it flared to life. He worked the end of the cigar and finally got it to light, then flicked the match into a half drunk glass of beer next to a passed out aid. At least he hoped it was an aid, ambassadors should be able to hold their alcohol better then that. He handed the matchbook back to Murray, popping it into his mouth.

Thanks. You know, we have a pretty evil looking skeleton back in Cardoness. It belonged to the last king of the Sarus dynasty, Tyranus. Legend has it that he was the most evil king to rule our realm and that he made a deal with a demon to gain other worldly powers. He ruled with fear for decades until the ancestor of our good king defeated him and cut off his head. So, we have this evil body without a head, you are a evil head without a body, and I'm sure we could find a doctor around here someplace willing to attach the two.

Lord Andreas takes a pull from the cigar and instantly starts coughing. He finally calms down enough to squeak out...

Neville, beer!

[Potted Plants United]

He suddenly shouted as loudly as possible, "God bless them!"

Having had enough of the nonsense, Janis grabbed up the cactus from the bar and, deciding to ignore all caution and any possible international incidents, hurled it along with its break-proof plantpot at the obnoxious preacher.

Adults plants were not meant to fly, so the unobtrusive cactus experienced a moment of pure terror as it hurtled towards the doorway. Instead of a squishy end, however, it was caught by human hands, turned right side up again, and then gently carried towards the bar again.

[Araraukar]

(OOC: Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to get this new reveal out of the way.)

Janis was annoyed that the annoying cactus had suffered no damage, but even more she was annoyed by the fact that the saviour of the plant was none other but her previous back-up, Johan Milkus, who had spent the recent months back at Araraukar, on some secret project.

"Miss Leveret, you should know better than try to kill sapients," the man admonished her, setting the potted plant on the bar, locating a barstool for himself.

"I wasn't really trying to kill it," she muttered sullenly.

Johan chuckled, "I'm afraid even the annoying preachers count as sapients."

"So, what are you here-" Janis started to say, when an odd movement at her former aide's wrist caught her attention. Her eyes went wide with shock, when a slender vine with leaves crept out of the man's shirt sleeve. "You'vegotoneofthemunderyourshirt!" she whispered urgently.

Completely unperturbed, Johan lifted his arm to look at the moving plant. "Oh this? Yes, it's my companion plant, one of PPU's newest inventions. It is a kind of communicator between the plant consciousness and me."

"You have one of them growing in you?!" Janis was horrified beyond what she had thought of as her horrifying borders.

"Not in me, but on me," he corrected. "It's designed not to show much from under the clothes, but I'm carrying a belt around my waist that's padded with rich soil, in which the vine's roots grow. It needs special fertilizer liquid twice a day, but mostly gets its water from whatever sweat I generate."

"What does it do, exactly?" Janis asked, not sure if she should have been more or less horrified. She wasn't certain she'd ever again dare to go to sleep without a flamethrower next to her bed.

"It interfaces with a special communicator unit in the belt, which basically sends me text messages or emails when the plants need me to go somewhere. You're looking at the new liaison officer between the two nations," he added proudly.

It was likely this news of his promotion that he had come to tell her personally, but for the life of her she couldn't shake his hand. "Care to join me in drinking some herbicide?" she asked instead.

"Is that a new drink name or do you mean the actual stuff?"

"Right now I'm not sure I care which," Janis replied truthfully and raised her hand to get Neville's attention.

[Discoveria]

*snip*

Startled by Janis's shock at Johan's communicator-plant, Matthew turned to listen to the two diplomats' conversation. He managed to snap a quick photo of the com-plant to send in a text message to Jack. (Jack Durkheim - viewtopic.php?p=12754771#p12754771)

Araraukar/PPU put creep in creeper - see photo

A few minutes later, he got a reply:

Freaks.

What do they call it? Tree-Hugger®? Implant®? Vegemike®?

[Araraukar]

*snip*

OOC: LMAO! Pretty apt reaction too.

For a visual of what's visible, think of the tip of a vine of ivy, with leaves no larger than a fingerprint. Only the very tip has leaves, that's why the plant needs the extra fertilizer to support it.

[Imperium of Tanith]

Micheal retakes his seat back in the bar next to the Skull, brushing off some blood droplets and smoothing out his suit. Huh, apparently the fact that I threw the fat priest out the window is nothing new here. he muses as he orders some Tanith Sacra, a powerful drink whose reciepe is known by only the Brewmasters in the Cadia region of Tanith, and who would rather die then reveal the secrets.

[The Eternal Kawaii]

The doors of the Bar flew open, and the young Kalif, new husband of the Kawaiian's WA Nuncia (and not coincidentally the leader of the Kawaiian people), strode in with a grin worthy of a Cheshire Cat. At least, when it could be seen, as his face was partially obscured by the enormous and obviously heavy cardboard box he was carrying. He slowly made his way over to the desk near the Shrine of the Manifestation, and with a heavy THUD dropped the box beside the collection of charms, souvenirs and nick-knacks the old nekomusme in charge of the Shrine was selling.

"It's complete, Grandmother!" he said, managing somehow to be loud and catch his breath at the same time. "Finished, perfect!"

"Oh for the Cute One's sake, Your Grace, why are you packing stuff in like a common porter?" the old Kawaiian nun said, shocked by the Kalif's rather un-executive behavior. "Surely you could've recruited someone from your wife's staff for this?"

The Kalif chuckled, and said, "And miss out on my chance to hand out the first copies, Grandmother?" With relish, he tore open the top of the box, revealing its contents--books, each the size of a rather large encyclopedia. Taking one from the top of the stake, he bowed and held it in both hands as he offered it to the nekomusume. "For the Shrine, the first to be given out."

The old nekomusume looked at the book carefully, noting the simple title on its plain binding;

THE BOOK OF THE CUTE ONE

"My granddaughter's dowry," she said finally. "You put all this together on your honeymoon?"

"Collated, edited and included the final chapters; the Prophet had left only an outline for me to fill in there," the Kalif replied, smiling.

"I do hope that's not all you were busying yourself with, young man," she said with a sly smile as she walked over and reverently placed the large tome in front of the Shrine.

The Kalif merely whistled nonchalantly as he took one of the other books from the box and carried it over to the bar. "The first should be given to the Kawaiians, the second to the world," he said, offering the book to Neville. "Here, sir, a token of the Kawaiian peoples' gratitude for all of your gracious hospitality. May it be a worthy addition to the body of knowledge I know you've been accumulating here."

[Murray the Evil Skull]

Micheal retakes his seat back in the bar next to the Skull, brushing off some blood droplets and smoothing out his suit. Huh, apparently the fact that I threw the fat priest out the window is nothing new here. he muses as he orders some Tanith Sacra, a powerful drink whose reciepe is known by only the Brewmasters in the Cadia region of Tanith, and who would rather die then reveal the secrets.

Meanwhile there was activity on the Bar's stage. A group of Destructor Bunnies wearing skull themed, rhinestone encrusted nudie suits were setting up some instruments and sound equipment. A stool was set down in the fron of the stage with a mic in front of it. One of the bunnies adjusted the mic, climbed on the stool and said, "CAG?". Another bunny, offstsge, operating the sound board gave him a thumbs up. Then for the next couple of minutes the bunnies took their places and started tuning their instruments. Finally one of the Bunnies wandered over to the bar with a black stetson in his hand. He nudged Michael accidentally and said, "CAG." in apolgy. Placing the hat on Murray's head, he then picked up Murray and carefully carried him over to the the stool on the stage. After carefully setting him down the bunny then took his place on stage. Then the bunny band began to play and murray began to sing...

Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks,
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers and such.
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
They'll never stay home and they're always alone
Even with someone they love.

Cowboys ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold.
And they'd rather give you a song then diamonds or gold.
Lonestar belt buckles and old faded Levi's each night begins a new day,
And if you don't understand him and he don't die young
He'll probly just ride away.

Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers and such.
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
They'll never stay home and they're always alone
Even with someone they love.

Cowboys like smokey old pool rooms and clear mountian mornings,
Little warm puppies and children and girls of the night.
And them that don't know him won't like him,
And them that do sometimes won't know how to take him.
He ain't wrong he's just different ,
but his pride won't let him do things to make you think he's right.

Mama (CAG!) don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers and such.
Mama (CAG!) don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
They'll never stay home and they're always alone
Even with someone they love.
Mama (CAG!) don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers and such.

[The Republic of Lanos]

Hey, given the repeal of "Condemn Hippostania," would it be safe to assume it's ok to nullify WA resolutions openly?

My bosses back home are asking this eagerly.

[Araraukar]

Hey, given the repeal of "Condemn Hippostania," would it be safe to assume it's ok to nullify WA resolutions openly?

My bosses back home are asking this eagerly.

OOC: In the RP forums you can RP noncompliance. Here it's generally stomped heavily on by mods annoyed of having to try and herd this insane asylum on a relatively peaceful path.

[Alqania]

Hey, given the repeal of "Condemn Hippostania," would it be safe to assume it's ok to nullify WA resolutions openly?

My bosses back home are asking this eagerly.

"The what now?" Lord Raekevik inquired curiously. "I cannot see how something coming out of the Insecurity Counsel could possibly affect the status of General Assembly Resolutions; the very thought is absurd. Even if it had been a repeal passed in the real assembly, a repeal cannot legislate."

OOC: I'm ignoring the text of that resolution, because it's irreconcilable with information in the FAQ, presumably coming from Max Barry himself. If that resolution was legal to submit under the SC rules, that would seem like the SC should probably be ignored in its entirety as non-canon. Admittedly, that is sort of my view of the SC already, but this crap certainly reinforces that view.

[East Klent]

It had been awhile since Stevens had indulged himself in drink and so he decided to dust off his stool and order his usual scotch. While in waiting, he glanced around the room and overheard some of the chatter, "Since the buggers in control of Hippostania seemed to more or less ignore the condemnation itself, what good does it do staying in place if they'll just turn it into a laughing stock anyway?" he paused to receive and sip his drink, "Besides, if the SC actually held any amount of influence, they still wouldn't be able to get a handhold on the situation; it's not in their purview."

He then proceeded to open his briefcase and pull out some long overdue paperwork, "Anyway, I abstained, no point in arguing for either side, you'll look like a fool no matter what."

OOC: I personally have not had the need to recognize the Security Council in my canon, so I don't foresee ever needing to.

[Ardchoille]

... "The first should be given to the Kawaiians, the second to the world," he said, offering the book to Neville. ...

"The world thanks you," Neville said, bowing. "It shall rest among the great statutes of our peoples."

With ritual step he carried it reverently to the space beside the microwave, where he squeezed it in beside a dog-eared volume without a cover -- Passed Resolutions -- and an oddly box-like book with Poems from the Strangers Bar inscribed on it in raised, silver, curly letters.

"There's actually a vintage bottle of Bahgumian Blue inside that," he whispered to the young Kalif. "That stuff has inspired more resolutions than the Thessadorian Ambassador's, uh, prefatory clauses."

[Damanucus]

The doors to the bar slammed open, and Stephanie Orman stood in them. It had been a long time since she was last here—she had lost count of the days after two months—and even then...well, circumstances had not changed much since last time. Except she was fuming, as well as looking like she had dodged quite a few bullets. Literally.

"Your strongest drink, Neville," she called, knowing that she was most possibly interrupting an important conversation, and not really caring at the point in time. "And make it a double! Right now, I'm peeved. I don't know which one I should be peeved about..." At this point, she had noticed that she was probably being ignored, but again, not caring. "...The fact that an ambassador wants to rewrite the rules on this...ermmm...snakepit, or the fact that someone tried to kill me again!"

OOC: Brick Joke!

[Alqania]

"Do not all Ambassadors want to rewrite the rules of the assembly, Madame Representative?" Lord Raekevik asked his Damanucan counterpart rhetorically. "I take it most of us realise though that replacing the rules would require, before we have had a chance to allow amendments, surviving a period without rules. The members of the Secretariat are certainly no fools, having set up the rules in such a way that we are rather discouraged from attempting to change them. If one is able to detach oneself slightly from the... the... sjónarmið of one's office..." The Ambassador tapped frantically on his phone for a few seconds. "Ah, 'point of view'! Of course! Yes, as I was saying, if one is able to detach oneself slightly from the point of view of the Ambassador, one ought to recognise the beauty of the perpetuity of the body of rules, or the intelligent design, if it pleases one, of the creation of the World Assembly."

"But aesthetics aside in the face of matters of life and death: what is this attempted murder Your Excellency alluded to?"