Cup of Harmony 56 (Everything Thread)

by **Alexanderburn** » Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:50 pm

Choose my goalscorers: Y
Godmod scoring events: Y
RP injuries to my players: Y
Godmod injuries to my players: N
Hand out yellow cards to my players: Y
Hand out red cards to my players: N
Godmod other events: Y
****************

NATIONAL TEAM OF ALEXANDERBURN
Head Coach: William Kingsley (Alexanderburn) // age 35
Assistant Coach: Peter Mathiassen (Alexanderburn/Langara) // age 46

INFORMATION AND NEWS:
The Alexanderburnese national football team (ANFT) has been invited to the Cup of Harmony for the second time in a row and is delighted to accept this invitation for the first time in the national team's history. Though its comeback in the World Cup 64 was not as dramatic as expected, the team hopes to demonstrate its true potential among some of the best here in Apox.

TEAM FACTS:
The national team plays in a modified 3-5-2 formation.
Those with (11) next to their name are part of the starting 11.

Current national team (as of 23 March 2013):
Goalkeepers:
1 - GK - Alexander Nordaglio - age 29|
16 - GK - Dale Moulton (11) - age 30
23 - GK - Marco Kastner - age 21

Defense:
2 - DF - Carlos Rittenhouse (11) - age 24
3 - DF - Kai Goncalves Barros - age 24
5 - DF - Zachary Hooper - age 23
15 - DF - Dennis Beller* (11) - age 32|
17 - DF - Cameron Doyle (11) - age 25
18 - DF - Caden Milton - age 22
19 - DF - Maximilian Ebersberger - age 25

Midfield:
4 - MF - Torben Frederiksen (11) - age 21
6 - MF - Diego Holierhoek (11) - age 29
7 - MF - Torsten Fiedler (11) - age 30
8 - MF - Marcel Schroeder - age 30| (c)
9 - MF - Nathan Lang* - age 26
10 - MF - Eric Austerlitz - age 30|
12 - DF/MF - Sam Collett (11) - age 27
13 - MF - Hunter Jameson* (11) - age 23
14 - MF - Mason Walker - age 28

Offense:
11 - FW - Luca Cremonesi - age 25
20 - FW - Daniel Kidane* (11) - age 23
21 - FW - Tristen van der Pol - age 25
22 - FW - Logan Massie (11) - age 33

******************

FORMATION: modified 3-5-2, although any changes will be noted in the RP.
STYLE/MODIFIER: -2 (counterattack) (updated 19 April 2013)

UNUPDATED TACTICAL SHEET FROM WC64 QUALIS:

by **Jeruselem** » Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:52 pm

Jeruselem's roster

"The Princesses"

Formation: 4-4-2

Style Modifier: +2

Coach: Michelle Salad (aka "Fruit" Salad), not related to the Sallads. Current coach of the Tel Aviv Sharks.

Assistant Coach: Rocco Dimento

Security staff: Captain Taylor Alison Smith

Official JGN reporters
* Princess Katy Elizabeth Dallas (aka Princess Katy), sister of Melody and daughter of Sofia Michelle

GK (M,22) - Digger Smith - Comes from "OZSTRALIA"
GK (F,36) - Emma Bean - Also known is Miss Bean. Likes Beanies.
GK (F,32) - Ammy Whinehous - Has her bi-polar condition under control, for now

DEF (M,34) - Tregan Sallad - Daughter of former Jeruselem player and Naked News's Kate Sallad. CAPTAIN
DEF (M,24) - Matthew Tennant - Scottish bloke
DEF (F,28) - Belle Bouquet - Likes to think she's a Princess
DEF (F,23) - Betzie Blitzer - Her hero is Amy Pond
DEF (F,29) - Farah Faucet - Resident yuppie, more yuppie than even the Princess
DEF (M,28) - Wolfie Rattens - Not much of vegetarian
DEF (F,25) - Melony Buffers - Also knowns as Melons girl

MID (F,36) - Cassie Bitzer - Hot redhead
MID (F,32) - Rue Tennant - Claims to be descended from David Tennant
MID (M,24) - Frizz Frapp - Heavy metal fan
MID (F,24) - Ruby Rebbits - Also knowsn as Beebs
MID (M,29) - Park Jae Sang - Loves his K Pop and Gangnam Style
MID (M,20) - Rick Maize - Talks in puzzles to confuse people
MID (F,36) - Emily Dallas - Happy little girl
MID (F,30) - Lauren Jacob - Not the brighest member of the team but works very hard.

STR (F,35) - Hayley Hills - One of the best strikers in Jeruselem at the moment
STR (F,21) - Sally Boyle - Has small stuttering problem
STR (F,26) - Anna Chong - Resident feminist
STR (M,23) - Manny Man the real Mann - A bit of male chavinist
STR (M,33) - Rudy Dacopao - Sometimes likes striking with his fists

RP Permissions
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players N
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players N
Godmod Other Events N

Dallas count = 1
Sallad count = 2

and

The strip!
http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/3447/thjerusalem1.png
http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/25/thjerusalemb1.png

by **New Sideburn** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:20 am

The First Step
The crowd went wild.
The jade green segment of it, anyway. Cheney Rosewood had just twisted past the defence and shot past the keeper to level the scores. Second-placed Jeruselem… looked to be staying there tonight, and the Cormorants had shown they were not to be taken lightly.
There were 35 minutes left to play. Gethin had been relatively quiet on the sidelines… this now changed, as he bellowed at his men to keep pressuring, keep moving. New Sideburn dug in against the onslaught, simply physically overpowering their opponents. Granted, this lead to many fouls, but it paid off as attack after attack collapsed. One or two attacks made it to shots, from long range, which Portia had little trouble keeping out. Things almost went awry in extra time; a long-range shot was tipped off to the side by Portia, and the corner came in low and hard. It shaved Lukas' head… but that only took it to the feet of a Jeru striker. Portia… practically threw herself at the woman to smother the ball. Hurriedly picking herself back up and waving people upfield, she kicked the ball as hard as she could. The final whistle blew 1-1.
And New Sideburn were 5th.

Three Weeks Later
"Asger?"
The big keeper glanced behind, wearing his number one for probably the last time. The big team talk from Gethin had been the usual; stay cautious, turn the fucking screw and send Schmiegelland back where they came from with their tail between their legs. But this wasn't just a friendly. This was openly a match in Stubbs' honour, for his years of service in the national team... seven caps alone seemed kind of paltry.
And here was Gethin, standing a good head shorter than Asger, arms open. As the keeper turned fully, Gethin embraced him, thumping him hard on the shoulder. "It's been an honour," he said, gruffly. "Do well out there."
Asger could only manage a feeble "yeah". What could he say? 'Been nice receiving your death threats over the years'?

The match was in the Cormorants' favour from the start. At home and fresh off enjoying very successful runs in the Baptism and the qualifiers, they simply never looked threatened by Schmiegelland; they weren't invincible, as a well-shot corner was headed home past Stubbs just after half-time, but by that time a blistering Leyland Stallion strike and a Karelline Charmwell individual goal had already dominated the game, and a Strongnesse penalty killed it off in the 80th minute.

At the end of the match, the entire home crowd stood up and applauded. It was only affter a second's thought that Stubbs realised they were clapping for him. For his last international appearance.

The thought brought a tear to his eye.

[s]Some Time Later[/s]
It was only five minutes into the bus ride to the airport that anyone realised there was a small, mousy woman hiding out in the back of the bus.
"The hell are you?" asked Gerhard, politely.
"Paige Galleon!" said the chipper young woman eagerly. "I'm from the Brinemouth Herald, coming with you to report on your successes!"
"Like hell you are. Get off."
"No, she's with us," said Jess, reclining lazily nearby while leafing through a paper. As eyes turned towards her incredulously, she only shrugged. "Just another of Crossbow's crazy ideas, aye? Swear he wants to turn us into a bloody publicity show."
All eyes in the bus flicked towards Paige, back to Jess, then their owners settled down, grumbling about the conditions.
Paige beamed. That went without a hitch!

And again...
"Doesn't feel right being here without Asger," grumbled Rook. "Should've stayed with us for the Cup, shouldn't've he?"
"He wanted to retire, Rook, and who was gonna stop him." Olga just sounded bored. An equally careless Karelline Charmwell was asleep in her seat.
"It's another two hours to Apox. I'm liking the way this has kept to Esportiva," mused Grant.
"Remember the Baptism of Fire?" Cheney chipped in. "A 35 hour flight! It's a wonder we weren't all fucked up by it!"
"We were fucked up by it," said Chase. "2-2 against Yakostan on the first day?"
"Yakostan are a powerful team, on the right day," responded Cheney, piously.
They checked into the hotel 20 hours later, exhausted and jetlagged. And hoping their stay would last more than three matches.

by **Kalumba** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 4:01 am

And the team:

Manager: George Davies- Resigned from the first team after a very disappointing start to the World Cup 56, which he deemed disgraceful for a team who had just won the Baptism of Fire, but has since returned to the side. Having started to rebuild Kalumba's international reputation after a long period away from competition, Davies has a tough job in the CoH but having led the side from nothing to 146th in the world he has already done is proud.

First Team Coach: Magnus Malan- Led the team throughout the last World Cup without much success but he did record a notable victory against highly rated Newmanistan, and suffered only narrow defeats tko teams in the top 25 in the world. Very defensive minded and his approach led the team to be nicknamed 'The Tortoises'. His solid training kept Kalumba from suffering vast numbers of heavy defeats, limiting thrashings to a single humiliating defeat at Saugeais.

Goalkeepers:
Terrence Ottbourne-No.1 38 years old and team captain, an agile ex-paratrooper. He led the team to victory in the BoF and kept a clean sheet until the quarter-final. Together with Aaron Yuill of Southern Cynocephali was the outstanding keeper of the tournament. Now plays in Kagdazka and Pazhujebu proffesionally. Getting on a bit now, but still a force to be reckoned with as the WC qualifiers proved.
Frank Burnden-No.67 42 year old veteran keeper, useful back up option. Will not expect to start but will most probably be on the bench to cover for the outstanding 'Super Terry' Ottbourne.
Peter Franks-No.41 23 year old rookie, first selection for the team. Missed out on going to the Di Bradini cup by 2 months, so will be hoping to play a few games to secure his position as long term successor to Ottbourne. May play in less crucial group games or when Kalumba are knocked out. Still strugging to fulfill his early potential.

Defenders:
LB-Derek Ward, 29 year old truck driver, stupid but effective No. 12 Recently banned from driving for Drink-Driving, will be hoping to secure a place at a foreign club team to provide him with an income.
LCB-Ronan Beardly, 33 year old, also Kalumba's golfing champion No. 14 Has suffered a nasty shoulder injury but should fit in time for the CoH.
LCB-Duncan Edward, 22 year old, pretty boy, but solid at the back No. 4 Recently married with a child will his mind be fully on the World Cup?
RCB-Klaus Van Harniggen, 24 year old, 6 foot 6, deadly in the air No. 6 Enrolled in a boxing program and has further added strength to his frame. Had an excellent WC scoring a number of important goals.
RCB-Norman Baker, 28 year old bank manager, great slide tackler No. 5 Castigated in the news for losing his bank a large amount of money speculating on the stock market, will try to rebuild his reputation.
RB-James Downs, 39 year old ex-rugpy prop forward, solid but no agility whatsoever No. 3 Recently dropped from his Rugby team so is looking to football for his wage.
RB-Frank Ruyten, 23 year old civil servant, very fast but poor crossing ability No. 19 Has worked on his crossing but still struggles to fulfill his promise as an attacking fullback.

Midfielders:
LM-Peter Kurtz, 25 year old full time proffesional footballer No. 21 Still struggling for form but has improved at the World Cup scoring twice and creating another couple for Kalumba.
LM-James Fish, 19 year old protege No. 9 Still a protege, retained for the first team instead of the U21s so Davies clearly intends to play him.
CM-Ollie Roberts, 24 year old model and dancing champion No. 18 First high profile homosexual in Kalumba. Has moved to Southern Cynocephali to play proffesionally and be open with his sexuality.
CM-Ben Rowlatt, 26 year old boxer No. 16 Robert's husband. Their relationship has caused problems in the team but after performances from them both helped to win the BoF are being more accepted.
CM -Oliver Dempster, 33 year old taxi driver No. 15 Recovering from shock after being mugged in his taxi, but will recieve the fans full support.
CAM -Ben Cheeter, 23 built like an arab donkey but with the shot of an angry mule No. 27 Didn't impress at either the BoF or the last WC but still integral to the team as he links the midfield to the strikers.
CDM- William Anderson, 37 year old Protestant Minister, couldn't tackle for toffee but aggrssive as the most violent phsycopath No. 17 Has toned down his aggression as he recieved a lot of yellow cards at the BoF and the last WC and was lucky not to be sent off. Again lucky on the cards front, but a rock in front of our defence.
RM-Chris Abouto, 23 year old sprinter, fast and can turn on a sixpence No. 33 A truly marvellous footballer, other than Ottbourne our player of the year. Scored many and set up more. Also rewarded with a move to proffesional football in K&P. Players of the WC qualifiers for Kalumba.
RW-Jermaine Filks, 33 year old great crosser of the ball No. 11 Due to Abouto's excellence has yet to feature but has worked on his left sided play in hope of getting a starting position.

Strikers:
RS- Roland Grezlak, 28 year old, 6 foot strong as an ox No. 8 Came on to score many a crucial goal, will be looking for me involvment this time round.
RS- Anthony Peters, 23 year old, youngster but top scorer last season No. 99 Barely featured but did score our second goal in the BoF final. Will be looking to break into the team on a regular basis.
LS-James Malone, 36 year old, seasoned veteran No. 21 Struggled for form and not likely to feature here unless there is a major injury crisis.
CF- Kevin Davis, 34 year old, ex-heavyweight champion boxer No. 10 Another key player. His goals and hold up play won Kalumba many games and will be hoping to continue his wonderful form and impress at this World Cup which may be his last, unless he keeps up current form which included a hatrick.
CF- Craig Garden, 28 year old, reliable but not much skill No. 93 Another non-starter and like Malone will struggle to record a further cap to his collection of seven.

Starting line-up:

4-5-1 (Style Modifier: -1)

GK Terrence Ottbourne (c)

LB Derek Ward
LCB Duncan Edward
RCB Klaus Van Harniggen
RB Frank Ruyten

LM Peter Kurtz
CM Ollie Roberts
CDM William Anderson
CAM Ben Cheeter
RM Chris Abouto

CF Kevin Davis

Substitutes
GK Frank Burnden
LCB Ronan Beardly
RB James Downs
CM Ben Rowlatt
CM Oliver Dempster
ST Roland Grezlak

Home Stadium:

Kahali National Stadium
12,000 Seats, 8,000 Standing

Kit:

by **Slembana** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 6:23 am

(OOC: This will be taking place in June 2024 Slembanan time.)

DBK Sports - Football - Squad for Cup of Harmony 56

Written by Aaron Dartmouth

Here, we will announce our squad for Cup of Harmony 56, which will be held in Apox and Licentiapacisterra, two nations which, like us, reside in the region of Esportiva. This is our 4th Cup of Harmony in four cycles. We have failed to win a game each time we have been in the tournament. Hopefully, we will win a game this time around.

Starting XI
GK: Kevin Banks (age 30)
DF: Hank Bowles (age 30)
DF: Don Adobe (age 32)
DF: Dennis Valfern (age 31)
DM: Follin Maxet (age 34)
RW: Olajide Tamerik (age 33)
AM: Jyvx Dagens (age 29)
LW: Yuppë Tárnix (age 35)
RS: Toby Valfox (age 28)
ST: Val Kylx (age 28)
LS: Harry "Komodo" Young (age 26)
Substitutes
GK: Josh Pitbull (age 29)
DF: Warren Lockton (age 32)
DF: Faryz Volix (age 34)
AM: Joe Baxter (age 24)
AM: Derek Newman (age 24)
ST: Jordan Valfox (age 25)
LW: Javo Jexa (age 36)
Reserves
GK: John Bunyan (age 26)
DF: Patrick Laveski (age 24)
DF: Barry Stoke (age 20)
AM: Gary Ertl (age 20)
ST: Xavier Farlington (age 22)

Manager: Luc Gaudreau (Sicoutimont)

Style: +4.5

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:

Choose my goalscorers YES
Godmod scoring events NO
RP injuries to my players NO
Godmod injuries to my players NO
Hand out yellow cards to my players YES (one per match, one per player)
Hand out red cards to my players NO
Godmod other events NO

by **Northern Sunrise Islands** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 6:24 am

DE PLACA
Is it a good idea to microwave this article?

CUP OF HARMONY 56
Marills making a couple of changes in the start of the Cup of Harmony

As the Cup of Harmony is played at Esportiva for the first time ever in the history of the tournament, the good old team of Northern Sunrise Islands has announced wide openly that they need money, since they doubt that the country will keep supporting them due to legal reasons of the minister of sports being a cheap man. The first deal involves Vulpine Sportif, a national company who used to the uniforms for several sports, that has recently declared that it will return to activity inside the nation and futurely, outside as well.

With a sum of I$ 150,000, the Marills will now use the uniform that they played with in the Campionato Esportiva V, played at Slembanana sometime ago. The uniforms, nicknamed the Stars, due to how many stars were included at the shirt (and absolutely none of them refers to any title that the country has achieved in football, but instead, the number of islands that the country has added to their territory as of some years) and how the team actually looks better with then, according to the Sunrisians themselves, appearently.

The uniform combo that NSI will use against Sicoutimont next Saturday for the first match of their run in the Cup of Harmony.

Secondly, the team will officially have sponsors, though not in shirt, but mostly during interviews before and after the matches. Keep in mind that the national team was strictly against such thing, only allowing kit sponsorship, which has been done by Vulpine Sportif since the debut of the team at International Level.

CUP OF HARMONY 56
Qazox, Sicoutimont, Northern Sunrise Islands and Kishrael, a Group 5 preview.

Yesterday, the Groups for the Cup of Harmony were drawn. A total of thirty-six teams will play in nine groups of four and NSI, obviously, or else we wouldn't be talking about this, was included. At Pot 3, the number 99 of the international rankings was drawn in Group 5 against the strong competition of Qazox, Sicoutimont and Kishrael.

QAZOX Matchday 3: NSI vs. Qazox

For the first time since World Cups 52-53; Qazox has missed back to back World Cups. But this will be the first time Since World Cup 60 that the Eagles will play in the CoH, and the last time they played in the CoH they just missed out on winning the title, losing to the Archregimancy in the waning moments. Can this young team repeat such a deep run again, or will their inexperience, which showed in the 2nd half of quaifying cost them once again?

While going in lower times, recently, Qazox is to be taken seriously straight from the kick-off. Highly-offensive team with strong credit added to itself, will give the Sunrisians some trouble to leave the stadium with the three points. Prediction: L

SICOUTIMONT Matchday 1: Sicoutimont vs. NSI

Les Royales arrive at their second CoH after a disappointing finish at the 64th World Cup qualifiers, where they finished with 31 points, they head to Apox and Licenciapacisterra to try a hand at the invitational tournament for teams that did not make the World Cup Finals. Now, the team look for a good showing in Esportiva, as they continue to try to qualify for the big event.

Not much is needed to be said about this team. A high quality team that is basically unstoppable if mistakes enough are made against them, just take how the players from the land of Sicoutimont have been doing at the Sunrisian League, if you need that much of a tip. Prediction: L/D

KISHRAEL Matchday 2: Kishrael vs. NSI
The Blue Shield, as how the team is nicknamed has a great domestic league and seems to be with full intention of implementing their domestic skill in international level. While the worst team rank-wise, the team of Kishrael could be easily the underdog of this group, as their abilities may (and probably will) get them far. Prediction: D

CUP OF HARMONY 56
Unhealthy man causes trouble as a "NSI Delegate"

Somehow the security didn't stop a madman from participating of the draw as "Advertising Space Here" or his real name, Adriano Pingaloca, has been around the draw for the Cup of Harmony until a fellow Sunrisian spotted him in the stands in the place of Miss Alice Sunshine, chosen by the NSIFC to represent the country in the event, and thus making Adriano flee from the scene.

He was caught not too far later trying to convince the people in a theater near the perimeter of the area as he yelled "Buy our Products!". Adriano, armless due to a case of illness that hit him when young, had a small billboard in the front of his chest to advertise whatever product it was. He is currently at the Mental Institution of Tsunade, Lorelei Island, NSI, until the jury of his case finds a common veredict for him.

CUP OF HARMONY 56
Line-up against Sicoutimont revealed by Miss Bourbon
In a conference about the start of the tournament, Lynette Bourbon, coach of NSI has decided to reveal her line-up against Les Royales for the first match of the Cup of Harmony. While not all pieces are 100% determined, she still has some doubts whether Martin Greenville or Francisco de Sousa will start playing, per example, the team is pretty much set.

STARTING LINE-UP: Andy Cunnington; Andressa de Souza (Justin Redwing), Matthew Di Martine, Netto Hikari, Larissa Souza (Anthony Hawk); Marcelo Lima, Damien Bonapart, Bridgitte Laval, Namine Nagatomo; Francisco de Souza (Martin Greenville), Christie Travis (Harley "Quinn" Smith)

OTHER NEWS
> Outworld High invited by Saint Pauli to participate at their Divisão Escolar football tournament
> Mateusiânia: Corneria found of illegal practices, 2018 Liga Mateusiânia title voided, League will be reformed
> International Friendlies: Project NEXUS-CORE destroy Jogalama, 12-0.
> Lizards, Ponies, Bears, Chus and other minorities require more participation at Kitsunia-Deesse

by **Jeruselem** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 7:46 am

Michelle Salad and Emily Dallas looking at their group

Maklohi Vai
Powersith
Hyskigland

Michelle: I think we've played Maklohi Vai and Powersith before
Emily: No idea about Hyskigland
Michelle: I'm glad there's no big seeds in our group ... other than ourselves
Emily: So it should be
Michelle: Just noticed the qualification stage of this CoH is a bit short
Emily: Yes, three games and no repeats like other Coh

Michelle: Means no errors
Emily: Yes, we can't effort any loss.
Michelle: A draw could be fatal too
Emily: Yes, we have a reputation to protect
Michelle: This is our chance to win the CoH
Emily: We have never won it, Jeru FC have

Michelle: Not many games to play here too
Emily: I guess we have to just put everything into each game
Michelle: I lost some of my hair yesterday
Emily: We stressing you out too much?
Michelle: No, all this chemo for my breast cancer is affecting me looks
Emily: It does look a bit bare on top there

Michelle: I used have great red hair like Princess Katy but that red turned into pale brown and now ... grey
Emily: You'll get your hair back
Michelle: People look at you funny if you have no hair and you are a female
Emily: Not to worry, you'll come back looking better than ever
Michelle: I'm not wearing a wig
Emily: Wigs make you itchy anyway

Michelle: I look at Princess Sophia and think, how does she look so good at her age
Emily: And she's single
Michelle: Say, I saw some of your early modelling photos Emily
Emily: Err, yes ... well
Michelle: I tell ya, you were good looking then
Emily: Look at me now ... I have lost my looks

Michelle: We're both married anyway, we don't need to pick up men
Emily: At least I have hair.
Michelle: Saves on washing my hair
Emily: I reckon I could have made a fortune from modelling
Michelle: Too late now
Emily: Only problem with football is all these injuries you pick up

Michelle: what do you mean?
emily: I've only broken my knee a few times and then I have back isues
Michelle: Time to retire girl
emily: I should have been a Naked News reporter, good pay and then you get to travel
Michelle: Why didn't you
Emily: Dad didn't like the idea. My side of the Dallas family is a bit conservative

Michelle: Nevermind
emily: Where's Katy?
Michelle: Apparently doing some investigation
emily: No doubt using her looks
Michelle: well, use it or lose it
emily: Yep

by **Barunia** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 8:09 am

Barunia in Sports.com.bu
The Website for Sports Fans in Barunia

Cup of Harmony 56
Groups named, and there's a familiar face
Article by Kitty Smith

The groups have been named for the Cup of Harmony, and Barunia was drawn into group three. There are three other teams here, one of whom we've faced before. But first, our other opponents.

United Gordonopia. They're good. That's a given, considering they're ranked 26th in the world. The prediction is they'll be tough, and are likely to top the group, although lets hope Barunia can pull off a surprise performance. The last thing we want is to go through another play-off!

Western Cuba.There's not much we know about this team. They're 69th in the world, just three points behind our WCQ rivals Hutt River. Barunia should expect a draw at least when we face them.

And this bring us on to our third team, which is...

Nenets Autonomous Okrug The team who eliminated Barunia from the Baptism of Fire will once again face the Suns in the Cup of Harmony. Their style of play is super defensive, and Barunia's forwards will be hard pressed to make any headway. The Nenets are ranked lowest in the group, but at 129 are only 18 places behind Barunia.

So, that leaves us with the final predictions. A loss to United Gordonopia, a win against Western Cuba and a draw against the Nenets. That would mean we take four points out of a possible nine in the groups stage. Hey, we broke through the 4-game group stage of the Baptism of Fire with 5 points, so who knows?

by **The Inevitable Syndicate** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 8:59 am

Cup Of Harmony 56 Preview

19th April 12013

Fligsive, THE INEVITABLE SYNDICATE---- Wow, what an intertesting cycle it's been! Joel McCardy here with the scoop in the Cup of Harmony 56! Except i'm not, because when ILN asked me to do the coverage for the Cup of Harmony, I accepted and then immediately gave the job to Harvey Harding. Quite simply, I don't know why they asked me to do it! Last time I did coverage for a Cup of Harmony, I was kidnapped by Limahinans! So, no. I don't do football any more. Now, over to Harding with the actual news story.
Joel McCardy
ILN Sports

Montfort, LICENTIAPACISTERRA---- Harvey Harding here with everything you need to know about our CoH group! It's an interesting one, because it's full of S's! I met up with Isaac Byrnes, delegate for the IFA, and he told me all about it! We've been placed in Group 2, as the second seed, and I must say, there are some good teams we'll be battling:

Sargossa Rank: 17
Oh man, we've never faced the Corsairs before, but they seem to be a team with a lot of clout that could really give us trouble. Some strong strikers are bound to clash with our famed defence, which has been tightened up in recent weeks, but I don't think we'll be able to hold back the Sargossan tides in our match against them.

Swyftlandre Rank: 101
Swyftlandre are an interesting Esportivan side that could really give us some trouble, given the opportunity. Not one to go down with out a fight, Swyftlandre will probably play an intense game that could really see some rivalries forming.

The Sova Empire Rank: 152
The Sova Empire have fielded an interesting team to the CoH, one composed (hehe) entirely of singers! Of course, they only signed up with their initials, so there isn't much to report, but hey, if they prayed hard enough, they could pull something off! It works for the Holy Empire! And I'm sure they'll pull off a fantastic rendition of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World!"

So, that's who we'll be facing! We'll be playing Swyftlandre first, followed by Sargossa and then the Sova Empire. Ssssssee you there!

Harvey Harding
ILN Sports

by **Armed Bears** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:36 am

Armed Bears
(alias ‘The Bear-Belles’...)

For the information of those amongst you who are fairly new to NS Sports: Yes, this is a team — and nation — consisting primarily of anthropomorphic Bears.
For the information of those amongst you who have already been around NS Sports for a while: Yes, this nation does have the same player as Bears Armed… but IC, instead of this nation being a ‘puppet’ of that other country, they are actually ‘alternative reality’ counterparts of each other and didn’t even know of each other’s existence before this tournament.
The current year in Armed Bears converts into the Gregorian calendar as 2039AD, even though for footballers from Bears Armed (whose own international debut, BoF31, was in 2008AD…), it is now 2091AD or thereabouts instead!

This is another all-female team, for the same reason that Bears Armed’s team falls into that category: The main ball-game that's traditionally been played in their homeland so far is actually a form of Rugby, but [for several reasons] the professional league for that sport is all-male and so a few years ago (in 2006AD, actually) some of the female players decided that switching to Soccer instead -- and trying to establish a professional league for that -- might be a viable alternative.

Add 2 years to the figures given here for peoples' ages & lengths of experience to get the correct numbers for during this Cup of Harmony.

Almost all of the players are actual Ursines (i.e. anthropomorpic, bipedal Bears), except in any cases where I actually specify otherwise. The Harr'aynau people are physically human (more-or-less, although inclined towards heavy builds & hairyness) but spiritually & culturally Ursine instead.

_______________________________

Manager: Harrya o Herrchaum
(Ursine female from Clan Herrchaum; transferred to management/coaching team two years ago, after the team failed to qualify for WC60 & didn't receive its Cup of Harmony invitation in time to reply successfully; before then was a player, in this team and for the ''Mighty Redwoods'; category = Striker, preferred position = Right Forward, Soccer experience = 20 years as player & 14 in management; promoted to manager as well before the qualifiers for WC62; age = 56, left-pawed, fur = light brown.)

Chief Coach: Ug-Ug.
(Yes, hrreally that Ug-Ug, from The Holy Empire, he who “knows not how to lose“… What more needs to be said?)

Goalkeeping Coach: Urrth’hra o Porrwath
(female Ursine; Clan = Eastern League; she played as a goalkeeper for the Belles WC58-62, ending as their usual ‘starter’ in that role, whilst her home team was Mirron Marvels, category & usual position = Goalkeeper; she had 24 years of playing experience before retiring from the field to take up this coaching position in the run-up to WC63’s ‘qualifiers’ stage; age = 45, left-pawed, fur = medium-brown.)

Defending Coach: Harroya 'Silver' Gray
(female Ursine; Clan = Eastern Hills [Ally]; she played as a Defender or Midfielder for the Belles WC58-62, usually as a member of their ‘starting’ line-up and sometimes even as Lynchpin & acting Captain; her home team was ‘Dynamo OstPort’, for home she performed similar duties, and she had years of playing experience before retiring from the field to take up this coaching position in the run-up to WC63’s ‘qualifiers’ stage; age = 45, left-pawed, fur = light greyish-brown.)

Attacking Coach: Harroya ‘of the Rovers’ o Redwood
(female Ursine; Clan = Redwood; she played for the belles (primarily as Right Forward, and usually as a starter) in WC58-62, and for her home team of Merlchester Rovers from a few years before that, until retiring from the field to take up this coaching position in the run-up to WC63’s ‘qualifiers’ stage, with 27 years of playing experience; age = 46, left-pawed, fur = light brown; she would NOT break the rules (not even at the 'yellow card' level; never even carded once, in either national or international play) but managed to be a very successful “attacking” player without being an overly “aggressive” one... and was noted as being very good at setting up opportunities for her team-mates, but only seeming to score herself when the team really NEEDED that goal.

Roster

(#1) Bella DeBruin _ Clan = WestWoods, home team = 'Arrlesian Aces’, category & usual position = Goalkeeper, Soccer experience = 21 years; age = 35, left-pawed, fur = dark brown. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#14) Marra o Redwood _ Clan = Royal Redwood, home team = ‘Mighty Redwoods’, Goalkeeper, experience = 19 years; age = 33, left-pawed, medium-brown fur; she has a verry good record at the ‘League’ level. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#2) Urradorra o Barrdenn _ Clan = GreenWoods, home team = Barrdenn Barbariennes, category = Defender, usual position = Left Back, experience = 16 years; age = 33, left-pawed, fur = dark-medium brown & moderately long.

(#3) Marraya RedRose _ Clan = Royal Redwood, home team = 'Mighty Redwoods’, category = Defender, preferred position = Right Back, 21 years experience of Soccer; age = 32, left-pawed, fur = medium brown with reddish tint; relatively small, but strong and quite fast. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#4) Sunnarra o Redwood _ Clan = Redwood, home team = 'Heroes' Park Harlequins, category = Defender/Midfielder, usual position = Lynchpin, experience = 17 years; age = 33, right-pawed, fur = light brown; quite fast; has a degree in Military Science. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#17) Marranna ThunderBolt _ Clan = Gunnar; home team = Arrh’Fhwerrn United, category = Midfielder or Defender, usual position = Lynchpin, experience = 13 years; age = 28, ambidextrous, fur = medium-brown; rather average in appearance, but way above average in talent. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#5) Karra Thunder _ Clan = Gunnar, home team = PassPort Athletic, category = Midfielder or Defender, preferred position = Midfield Left, Soccer experience = 27 years; age = 42, left-pawed, fur = dark brown. (She has been with the Belles since the team’s international debut in WC58.)

(#6) Arranna o Errha _ Clan = Irrumbarra; home team = Harr Fherredh Rangers, category = Midfielder or Winger, usual position = Midfield Right, experience = 14 years; age = 28, left-pawed, fur = light-medium brown. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#20) Jiehra WestWalker _ Harr’aynau _ Clan = MiddleBear, home team = ‘Free City Furies’, category = Midfielder or Winger, usual position = Midfield Left (but flexible about this), experience = 13 years; humanoid, age = 28, dark red hair, left-footed; identical twin of #21, with whom she shares a rapport that makes them especially effective when working together. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#21) Irrala WestWalker _ Harr’aynau _ Clan = MiddleBear, home team = ‘Free City Furies’, category = Midfielder or Winger, usual position = Midfield Left (but flexible about this), experience = 13 years; humanoid, age = 28, dark red hair, left-footed; identical twin of #21, with whom she shares a rapport that makes them especially effective when working together. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#7) Irrona LightChild _ Clan = Sun; home team = Harr Burran Heroines, category = Forward, usual position = Left Forward, experience = 16 years; age = 32, right-pawed, fur = blonde, very keen eyesight. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#10) Urra ‘Honey’ SunBlessed _ Clan = Sun, home team = ‘Sun Valley Smashers’, category = Forward or Midfielder, usual position = Centre Forward, Soccer experience = 29 years; age = 45 (but looks & acts rather younger), right-pawed, fur = honey-brown, very good eyesight even by human (rather than Ursine) standards. She is a very accurate kicker, and therefore the usual first choice for taking free kicks & penalties; her nickname comes from her fur-colour, her very sweet nature, and (it must be admitted) the fact that she's sometimes been a bit “thick” in the past…although she seems to be becoming smarter by now (She has been with the Belles since the team’s international debut in WC58.)

(#11) Jerrannya OldWood _ Clan = Old Redwood, home team = Mighty Redwoods, category = Forward, usual position = Right Forward, experience = 18years; age = 29, right-pawed, fur = greyish-brown, has good eyesight. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#22) Beorra-Irrth’hrra Torren _ Clan =GreenWoods, home team = Barrdenn Barbariennes, category = Forward, usual position = Left Forward (but flexible about this), experience = 12 years; age = 32, left-pawed, fur = light brown. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#23) Marrya o Urrseorn _ Clan = Urrset; home team = Harr Morttan Challengers, category = Forward, usual position = Centre Forward, experience = 15 years; age = 32, left-pawed, fur = reddish-brown. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

(#12) Jerranaya SunChild _ Clan = Sun, home team = 'Sun Valley Smashers, category = Winger or Forward, usual position = Left Winger or Left Forward, experience = 13 years; age = 24, right-pawed, fur = golden-brown, has very good eyesight, big for her age and very fast, "a natural talent". (She made her international debut in WC62.)

[#13] Roh’hsarra EastWalker _ Harr’aynau _ Clan = Harr’aynau, home team = ‘Harr Harrh-eh Hurricanes’, category = Winger or Forward, usual position = Right Winger or Right Forward, experience = 14 years; humanoid, age =30, ginger hair, right-footed. (She made her international debut in WC62.)

Extra players added after group stage

# 27 _ Marrana o Wirrenne _ Clan = Herrchaum; home team =Mighty Herrchaum, category & usual position = Goalkeeper, experience = 7 years; age = 23 years, left-pawed, fur = strawberry-blonde.

#15 _ Harrarlha Herrchaum-Errh _ Clan = Herrchaum; home team = Merlchester Rovers, category = Defender, preferred position =Left Back, experience = 6 years; age = 21 years, left-pawed, fur = light-medium brown.

#30 _Jorarna BigBear _ Clan = GreenWoods; home team = Harr Vorros Heroines, category = Defender or Midfielder, preferred position = Lynchpin, experience = 7 years; age = 22 years, left-pawed, fur = dark-medium brown, height = 8’4” (!).

#24 _ Marra o Goodsword _ Clan = Sun; home team =Kingly City, category = Forward, preferred position =Left Forward or Centre Forward, experience = 6 years; age = 23 years, left-pawed, fur = blonde.

#25 _ Robirna WestFells _ Clan = WestWoods; home team =Harr Fherredh Rangers, category = Forward, preferred position = Centre Forward or Right Forward, experience = 5 years; age = 23 years, right-pawed, fur = light brown.

#26 _ Serreema Troutcatcher_ Clan = SeaBear; home team = Port Sammidge, category = Winger, preferred position = Right Winger, experience = 6 years; age = 21 years, right-pawed, fur = medium-brown & quite long.

(Details of remaining substitutes/reserves [hopefully] to follow soon.)

Usual Starters = #1-7, 10-13.
Usual Substitutes = #14, 15, 17, 20-21, 23-24.

___________________________________________________________

Style
+3.5… “A good offence is the best defence”.

Their usual formation will include a front row of at least 5 (normally as 3 strikers & 2 wingers), plus either 3 midfield & 2 backs or 2 midfield & 3 backs, plus of course the goalkeeper.

___________________________________________________________

RP Permisions

Opponents may _

Choose my goalscorers: Y (but when I post the roster I'll suggest the most likely candidates for this)
Godmod Scoring Events: Y

RP injuries to my players / Godmod injuries to my players / Hand out Yellow cards to my players / Hand out Red cards to my players: Y to all, at least to start with, but remember what I've written here and keep it in limits accordingly... Any serious offences by my players would probably result in injuries to your players, and causing any serious injuries to my players would probably require such obviously-deliberate attacks that your players would get yellow or even red cards as a result too.

Godmod Other Events: Y, I suppose... but please remember that Ursines are fully sapient beings, as much as Humans are (well, almost so, anyway....), NOT instinct-driven animals. Oh, and of course female Ursines are NOT sexually interested in Humans (of either sex), and it's very unlikely that female Harr'ayanau would be either.

___________________________________________________________

Kits
Home = bright yellow, with the bear's-paw emblem (as on the national flag) in bright green on both front & back of the shirt.
Away = bright green, with the bear's-paw emblem (as on the national flag) in bright yellow on both front & back of the shirt.
Goalkeepers = shirt “quartered” (both front & back) in yellow & green, with bears-paw emblem in maroon. Shorts yellow on left & green on right, socks vice versa.
(Identifying numbers & players’ names will be in black if on yellow, or in white if on green: Armed Bears has traditionally used base-8 arithmetic, for several reasons, so the sequence used here will be _ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 20, 21, etc...)

___________________________________________________________

Home Ground

All of the team’s ‘home’ games during this Cup’s qualifying stages will be played in the Royal Arena at Urrath-am-Barrah, the nation’s capital city, which can seat approximately 60’000 people. Up to 10’000 places will be available for visitors.
The easiest means of access to this nation will be by means of an ancient (and probably magical) set of “Gates”, whose keepers can open them to locations in the other countries concerned if those other nations are willing to accept this: Otherwise, it will require a sea-voyage to one of our neighbours and then a quite lengthy journey overland by rail or road…

_______________________________________________________________________________

Notes
Ursines may tend to be a bit less agile & slower to accelerate than humans on average, but this team's members were carefully selected so the gap between them & their opponents in this respect should be narrower than some people might expect. They do tend to have slightly poorer eyesight than humans, on the whole, so that long-distance passes & shots at goal will be rarer behaviour for them than they are for human teams... but their size & strength mean that when they're running with the ball it will probably take a very brave human -- as well as a very skilled one -- to tackle them successfully, which should balance that factor pretty well.
They're physically robust, of course, which means that they're less likely than humans to suffer injuries in falls or collisions but also that the form of Rugby in which most of them played before switching to Soccer was even more physical than the humans' versions of that game... and unfortunately some of them might forget the change of rules, in the excitement of the match, and use those tactics here... The females of this species are more even-tempered than the males, and the team's members will try to stay on their best behaviour during this contest. They will not 'dive', or feign injury in other ways, because suggesting that they could be harmed so easily goes strongly against the grain.

If the organisers permit then the team's members, including subsititutes, will do a [short] traditional war-dance (similar to the [RL] New Zealanders' 'haka'...), on the pitch, just before each match begins: This is called the 'Harrdiharr'... ;-)

by **Nenets Autonomous Okrug** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 4:35 pm

The National Football Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug

Coach: The Honourable Judge Hermione Aglukark NC ONAO RIP

Formation: 5-4-1
Style modifier -4
* starting line-up

Goalkeepers
Berndt Umber*
Kelley Green

Defenders
Curley Nen*
Tatiana N'en*
Anatoly Nen*
Bittersweet Shimmer*
Cooper Penny*
Dogwood Rose
Tatiana Aglukark
Medium Taupe

Midfielders
Fuchsia Rose*
Blanche Almond*
Dark Cyan*
Nadeshiko Pink*
Otter Brown*
Sergei Nen
Svetlana Penny-N'en

Strikers
Cerulean Frost*
Carmine Pink
Caput Mortuum

RP permissions
Anything goes.

Note on dying players: The Nenets believe that football is really an earthly manifestation of Sirte the Bear playing weird chess against another animal spirit. On a loss, Sirte devours the soul of a Nenets player. This has led to an alarming number of post-match strikes, heart attacks and other untimely deaths-by-divine-polar-bear; I will cross the players out as they die.

by **Hyskigland** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 9:08 pm

Di Hārold
Di Furš ænt End Āŋlɨš Tɨndiŋ av di Komunwelþ av Hískɨglænd

Sumir: Di Blʉ-Svards prepar bʉrga dār furš Kup av Harmoni.

The Herald
The First and Only English Newspaper of the Commonwealth of Hyskigland

After finishing their very first World Cup qualifying campaign with a .500 record, the Blue-Blacks of Hyskigland will look to excel in their first Cup of Harmony.

Ranked one hundred and twenty-eighth in the world, according to the latest polls—a gain of eighty-six places since the beginning of qualifying—the Blue-Blacks are no longer the inexperienced squad which began the Cup of Harmony, but a team whose starters have nearly thirty caps to their credit, and which has never known a losing record since it came into existence almost a year ago.

“You know, I really don’t mean to keep comparing our team this year to my first Stachlandic team,” head coach Everett Lang, former midfielder and captain for the Stachland Reds, explained with a laugh. “But I suppose it’s inevitable, isn’t it? Well, all I was going to say was that, back in the day, we managed to go from fourth seed in our group to second place once that first stage had ended, before proceeding to win our Round of Sixteen match and make it to the Cup of Harmony quarterfinals in our very first attempt. It wasn’t too shabby. I’d love to see this team emulate that, or even take it further.”

Hyskigland may be in a position to do just that, but the road will be rough. Competing against them in the group stage will be perennial World Cup qualifiers Jerusalem, strong second seed Maklohi Vai, and Powersith.

“We faced two, maybe three true world-level teams in our qualifying group,” team captain Arn Tensmed observed. “Now, we have that many in our Cup of Harmony group, too.”

Despite the uphill battle, Lang is confident. “We advanced from our group with four points back during my first Cup of Harmony,” the coach said. “This team can get four points. I think that is very possible. The team could get six points, or, if all the cards fall right, nine.”

Readers of The Herald can look forward to extensive coverage of the Blue-Blacks’ Cup of Harmony campaign over the next several days. Statistics from the entire World Cup 64 cycle for the team will be made available in due time.

by **Maklohi Vai** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 9:59 pm

Wakita Inquirer

Preview of Cup of Harmony 56
by Lomukano Parakulunapai

Maklohi Vai's National Association Football Team will take the field for the first time since the World Cup this Sunday when they face Powersith in the Cup of Harmony. After the team's most successful qualifying campaign to date, finishing 3rd in the group, the team looks to make a deep run in the Cup of Harmony. Here at The Inquirer, we ran a full statistical analysis of the group, and have ultimately come up with our predictions. Let's take a look at the group.

Group 4
28. Jeruselem, KPB 24.83
57. Maklohi Vai, KPB 14.32
85. Powersith, KPB 10.96
128. Hyskigland, KPB 7.22

Already we can see Jeruselem has a clear advantage of about 10.5 KPB points, making them the clear favorite in the group. The other two differences are about 3.5 points, meaning Jeruselem has nearly triple the comparative advantage that any other team has. This could mean big things for them. Also, we see a relatively high average KPB of 14.3325, which is almost identical to that of our own Vaian team. This also reveals how much higher Jeruselem is ranked than the rest of the group; their KPB creates an average above that of any other team. With that relative dominance established, let's look at the individual teams

Jeruselem
WCQ: 2nd in Group 15, lost in playoffs
KPB: 24.83
MD: 2
Notes: Our fellow group mate from qualifying, Jeruselem qualified second, only to lose to The Sylvanaes Queendom in the playoffs. In our two matches agains the squad, we lost 2-0 away and won 1-0 at home. The key difference between the two games was the defensive pressure. In the loss, the Vaian team was over aggressive and got sloppy, allowing opposing strikers to zoom through holes that otherwise would have been protected. By the second game, however, coaches and players had solved the issue and gone with a more conservative defense that focused on defending the pass. Jeruselem's pass completion rate dropped by 15% from one game to the next. Ultimately, their consistency will likely create problems for the Vaians and force some defensive risks.
Prediction: 1-1 Draw

Powersith
WCQ: 4th in Group 8
KPB: 10.96
MD: 1
Notes: A relatively new team, the nation of which Maklohi Vai was introduced to through the World Baseball Classic. They've risen quickly since BoF 50, and have proven themselves to be wanting of success. Their performance in qualifying was impressive, albeit in a relatively average strength group. They seem to practice at a below average rate, but consistently. The Vaian defense is highly superior, and that's what we believe will be the difference.
Prediction: 2-0 Win

Hyskigland
WCQ: 7th in Group 9
KPB: 7.22
MD: 3
Notes: A new team this cycle, Hyskigland made a deep run within a very deep Baptism of Fire, proving their worth amongst the next generation. Their practices are varied, in depth, and consistent, and will no doubt continue further on. They also have links to the past great of Stachland, and will have experience benefits transferred there. Overall, Hyskigland looks like the perfect team to make a surprise run in a few cups, but right now they're still rising. They still don't have enough cohesion or experience to make it on the big scale, and so we predict it is the Vaian experience that will determine the result.
Prediction: 1-0 Win

Those predictions add up to a 2-1-0 record, meaning 7 points and a +3 goal differential. Looking back to the last CoH with 4 team groups (53), we can see that every team who achieved 7 points qualified, and 6/7 finished in first place. A 7 point campaign could also be achieved by Jeruselem if they beat Powersith and Hyskigland as well. It would then be down to goal difference, where +3 is fine but not great. Now if you don't trust our opinions, you might trust the simulation we ran.

We ran the CoH schedule for group 4 900 times. Yes, 900 times. Here are the results:

Pld      W     D     L      GF     GA     GD     Pts
1 Jeruselem              2700   1639   622   439    5325   3004  +2321    5539
2 Maklohi Vai            2700   1128   713   859    2553   2067   +486    4097
3 Powersith              2700    867   704  1129    3945   4434   −489    3305
4 Hyskigland             2700    423   647  1630    3017   5335  −2318    1916

So we can see the results sorting themselves as you might expect: they are in the same KPB order as the teams participating, and with somewhat similar, but different, comparative differences from team to team. With that, The Inquirer concludes its preview, and we hope you enjoy the Cup!

by **Filopines** » Fri Apr 19, 2013 11:06 pm

Smart, Dumb and Funny PART 17

*at Mark and Aaron's apartment*
(Aaron walks out of his room)
Aaron: Apox, baby!
Mark: I can't believe we're going to Apox to play in the Cup of Harmony!
Aaron: It's unbelievable! Have we ever been to Esportiva before?
Mark: Uh...(laughs nervously) We? We're not a gay couple, Aaron.
Aaron: I know we're not. We're teammates. Dumbass.
Mark: What?
Aaron: Dumbass. You, Mark Viney, is a dumb...ass.
(long pause)
Mark: Fair enough.

*at Luis and Julie's apartment*
Julie: What time is your plane, babe?
Luis: In five hours.
Julie: I'll miss you.
Luis: I'll miss you too. Why can't you just come? Kate and Rachel are.
Julie: I have to work, and my boss is very, VERY mean. I'll miss you so much. (leans in)
Luis: There's still five hours. (walks away)

*at Kate and Rachel's apartment*
Kate: I don't want to go.
Rachel: Then why are you coming?
Kate: Because of Mark.
Rachel: None of the team are going out with me and I'm coming.
Kate: You just wanna see hot foreign guys.
Rachel: Well, it is a dream of mine.
(Aaron walks in)
Aaron: Apox, baby!
Rachel: Guys, baby!
Aaron: Apox guys, baby!
Kate: What?
Aaron: Um...Apox, guys. Baby......So, who's driving?
Rachel: I am.
(Luis walks in)
Aaron: Luis, you ready to go?
Luis: There's still five hours. (walks to sofa, sits down and turns on TV) What is this show?
Kate: Rachel was watching this show about male Apoxian models. But I stopped her.
Rachel: That's why she's dead.
(Julie walks in)
Julie: What are we watching? (runs to sofa) Why are you watching this, Luis?
Luis: I can't change the channel. (jams various buttons)
Aaron: Here. (hits top of TV) Now try.
(Luis presses button)
(Channel changes to Filopinian models)
Aaron: How great am I?! (laughs)
Luis: Thank you, Aaron!
(Julie slaps Luis' arm)
(Luis laughs)
(Mark walks in)
Mark: Hey, honey. (kisses Kate) What are you guys watching? (looks to TV) (grabs a chair and sits down) What is this show?
Aaron: The Model House!
Mark: Cool! (turns around) I still love you, Kate.
Kate: You better.
(two hours later)
Mark: (Looks down at watch) Well, it's 6:00. we better go now. Bye Julie.
Kate, Aaron, Luis, Rachel: Bye Julie!
Julie: See ya, guys.
(Luis kisses Julie)
(Mark, Kate, Luis, Rachel and Aaron walk out of apartment)
(Julie sighs)

*outside the building*
(The five walk out of building entrance)
Kate: Why did you get a new car?
Rachel: Just yesterday.
Luis: You're old car is perfectly fine.
Rachel: Not anymore.
Mark: What do you mean?
Rachel: I saw an ad about car insurance. If you're car breaks, you can get a new one of the same manufacturer for free!
Aaron: Your car isn't broken...
Luis: Can't you see where she's going with this?
Aaron: Um...
Rachel: I broke my car on purpose.
Aaron: You didn't give me a chance!
Rachel: Hurry up, get in guys.
(The five get in Rachel's car)

*at Kate and Rachel's apartment*
Julie: I should live here.

*in Rachel's car*
(Aaron, Kate and Mark in the back, Rachel and Luis in the front)
Aaron: Apox, baby!
Kate: Oh, Aaron!
Aaron: What?
Mark: You farted!
Aaron: What's so bad about that? It's natural.
Luis, Rachel, Mark and Kate: AARON!
Aaron: Just open the windows.
(Luis, Mark and Kate lean in towards Aaron)
Aaron: Fine, there's a toilet over there. Pull over, Rach.
(car pulls over)
(3 minutes later)
(Aaron gets in car)
Aaron: Best. Poop. Ever.
(Rachel laughs)
Kate: Why are you laughing?
Rachel: (whispers to Kate) He doesn't seem to happy.
(Kate looks at Aaron)
(Aaron, looking out the window while frowning)
(Kate laughs)
Aaron: Funny, huh?
Rachel: Let's go.
(car starts driving again)

*at Kate and Rachel's apartment*
Julie: (talking on the phone) Mum? Can you buy me some chicken at ShopWorld, please?
(waits for answer)
Julie: It's scary outside.
(waits for answer)
Julie: Fine. I'll just order pizza. Bye, Mum.
(Julie hangs up)
(Julie dials number)
Julie: (talking on the phone) Hello? Is this Marty's Pizza?
(waits for answer)
Julie: Ok, I'll get one large Hawaiian.
(waits for answer)
Julie: That's all. Thank you.
(10 minutes later)
(Julie watching TV)
(knock on door)
Delivery man: Marty's Pizza!
Julie: Coming!
(Julie gets up and opens door)
Delivery man: One large Hawaiian?
Julie: Yes. Thanks.
Delivery man: That'll be 10 fuertes.
Julie: Here's a 20. (gives money to delivery man)
Delivery man: Here's your change. (gives change to Julie)
Julie: Thanks.
Delivery man: So, uh... (scratches head) What's your name?
Julie: My name is Julie and I have a boyfriend.
Delivery man: Who is this guy?
Julie: Luis Rodriguez.
(Delivery man stands up straight)
Delivery man: Very sorry, ma'am.
Julie: That's OK.... You didn't give me the correct change. You only gave me seven fuertes.
(Delivery man runs away)

*in Rachel's car*
Aaron: Hey, Mark, I bought Travel Scrabble. Wanna play?
Mark: No.
Aaron: Kate, you wanna play Travel Scrabble?
Kate: No.
Luis: We're coming up to the bridge now. What's that?
Rachel: (squints eyes) Looks like an accident. On the bridge.
Luis: Just keep going. Get on the bridge.
Rachel: No. We should get off the exit just before it.
Luis: Just do it. We had to stop four times because of Aaron's butt. We're not stopping again.
Rachel: Whatever you say.
(Rachel's car arrives at bridge)
(Policeman instructs Rachel to stop)
(Rachel stops car and opens window)
Rachel: What's up, officer?
Officer: I'm afraid you'll be stuck here for about three hours.
Rachel: What?! (looks to Luis) I told you! I FREAKING TOLD YOU, BUT YOU DON'T LISTEN, DO YOU?! WE'RE NOT GOING TO SEE ANY HOT GUYS FROM APOX ANYMORE!
(Luis leans back)
Luis: (laughs nervously) Uh...sorry?
Mark: What happened?
Rachel: We'll be stuck here for three hours.
Mark: Why?!
Rachel: Because of this Hispanic numbnut here! And because of that. (points to accident)
Kate: (sarcastically) Oh, no. This is horrible. I am crying inside.
(Rachel laughs quietly)
Aaron: What happened?
Mark: We're gonna be stuck here for three hours because of that. (points to accident)
Aaron: Oh....Travel Scrabble?
Mark: Don't you see what happens now?
Aaron: No.
Mark: We're going to miss our flight.
Aaron: Why? (looks outside) NO!!!

by **Sicoutimont** » Sat Apr 20, 2013 6:14 am

Sandiego Venequez, student at the University of La Espanola, looked out his window. Flipping through the channels, he saw the Cup of Harmony draw results, preview of Sicoutimont's round of 16 match against Grandterre at the Beach Cup-that was important, he figured: his cousin, Vito Alazarda was the star striker for that team. He didn't have class this rainy Monday on the only University of Spanish-speaking Sicoutimont; the archipelago of San Cristobal. Well, it wasn't really Spanish he was speaking. Most classes were in French or English, and most other students either came from the mainland or a wealthy family on the island. Not like there were that many wealthy families in San Cristobal. Football and University degrees were the only way off the island if you weren't born into the right family. That's what he was hoping for, either of those: he could play football well, and was also studying for his Bachelor's degree in Tourism. He hoped to crack the Sicoutian football leagues, but at least he had a degree to fall back on. Venequez wasn't from the city of La Espanola, the largest one on the islands. He was from a small town located on the 4th largest island in the archipelago. Carovaton was the city name, and it was home to a large population of Aspanola indigenous people. Venequez was an Aspanola, and very proud of it. His grandfather told him stories passed through the Venequez family for hundreds of years, before discovery by explorers, and right down to now. Suddenly, a text came in from Sandiego's father, Gieo Venequez. "Son, get on the first plane home. Tell Vito to call us". What could this be about? AirCristobal offered direct flights to all islands around the archipelago, with its hub being La Espanola-Montana Certevideo Aeropuerto, code name LEC. His home town, Carovaton, featured a small airport, called Campo de Aviation del Carovaton. Carovaton, as we previously touched on, is a small town featuring about 62,000 people. The airport was basically in the town, with Carretera del Aeropuerto, the main street of the city, running through the downtown core, then cutting over the highway toward the airport. But his parents didn't live anywhere near Carovaton now. Touching down, he got a taxi to take him up the highway to the small village of Colinas Verdes, named for the lush green grass that grew there. His parents had moved there when Sandiego left for high school in La Espanola, and last year grandfather had moved in with them. Checking his texts again, he had 2 unread. One from Vito, and one from a man called Jerome Carvillier. Vito said: "Ok, I'll call them in a minute. You should come see the game, cuz! It should be good, we're playing near your home". Vito always was excitable. Hanging out together as a kid, they would go everywhere together. The second text said: "Hello, Mr. Venequez. I represent the Sicoutian football club FC Richelieu. You may remember us for making the First Knockout round of the UICA Series B Champion's Cup tournament. We have identified you as a top youth footballer in the nation, a star player in varsity football. You have a chance to make our national youth teams. And our club, FC Richelieu, want a player like you to help us move up the table in the first division. Please, call me when you get the chance. We can discuss anything you want to talk about." Wow. That was unexpected. Sandiego knew that he was a pretty good university player, but never good enough for a club team, even the national team, as Carvillier spoke of. It was probably just a marketing ploy. But, Venequez decided he'd tell his family tonight, then call FC Richelieu back when he got back to his apartment in La Espanola. The taxi drove up the long and winding road through ancient Aspanola tribal ruins, temples et all, even a band of hunters walking through the forest. Finally, they turned up the road to his parent's farm. Getting out, he wondered again what was wrong. An ambulance was sitting in the driveway. It couldn't be grandfather, could it? He had been sick lately, but dying? Sandiego doubted that. Knocking on the door, his mother answered, looking distraught.

"Hi, mom"

"Come here, Sandiego. Follow me."

Sandiego's usually happy-to-see him mother appeared sad and distant. He walked into grandfather's room. What he saw he knew he would deep down, but it still shocked him. The local 'Tarab', the Aspanolan version of a priest, was standing over him, praying in Ancient Aspanolan. His grandfather was dying. The local doctor and his team were there, and other family members were on their way. Finally, the Tarab finished. Leaving the room, Sandiego walked in to talk with grandfather.

"Grandfather! How could this happen?"

"Listen, Sandiego! I have very short time left on this earth. But you, you must listen. You remember the book I tell you about?"

"The Aspanolan history book?"

"Yes. You must find it. Then, you must read it. This is very important to me. You will move to the mainland someday, you may forget about the people here on San Cristobal. But never forget the history of our people. I have hid the book at my old house, you know, the one in Carovaton? Find it and keep it. Never lose that book. It is the history of our people."

"Grandfather, what makes this specific version so special? You say yourself there are many copies! Why can I not just buy a new one?"

"Because, grandson. This book is your history as much as it is my history. It is our families history. You can't buy our family's history down at the street corner in La Espanola, can you? I didn't think so. Remember your family and your people in your future," And a few moments later after speaking to Sandiego's mother and father, he died peacefully. That night at dinner, he told his family about the offer from FC Richelieu. His family advised him to do what he wanted, but he should wait for any more offers to come. He should also travel to Richelieu to make sure he wants to be there, and get in touch with the youth football director for the Sicoutian Football Association, and see if Jerome Carvillier was right about him being wanted on the national team. Spending the night at his parents house, his grandfather's last words rung in his head. "Remember your family and your people in the future,". The next morning, he would go retrieve the book, and then return to La Espanola. HIs grandfather's funeral would not be for a week, following Aspanolan cultural tradition of a 1 week mourning period, where the community gather the night after the death and the night before the funeral, and then a happy occasion featuring food and stories about the person. But Sandiego was secretly excited: grandfather had told him stories about the book for many years, but whenever he asked to read it, his grandfather said 'Not today, son,' Now, Sandiego could finally discover the history of his family and people.

Les Royales Drawn to Tough Group at Cup of Harmony
Licenciapacisterra- Sicoutimont's Royales football team touched down in Cup of Harmony host nation Licenciapacisterra today, awaiting the beginning of Cup of Harmony 56. After finishing 4th in their qualifying group, which sent Yesopalitha to the World Cup Final, Sicoutimont now look to play alongside other nations who just missed the cut for the real thing. And it might not get tougher than Group 5. The highest ranked team in the group is Qazox, who missed out on the Finals the final day of qualification. Then it's us as the second highest team, followed by Northern Sunrise Islands, who was in our qualifying group for the World Cup, and Kishrael. Sicoutimont have never played Qazox internationally, but are 2-0 against Northern Sunrise Islands recently, and 0-1 against Kishrael, the loss coming in the last Cup of Harmony. The top team in each group advances, plus the 5 best runners up and the winners of a single-leg playoff between the other 4 2nd place teams. So, let's look at the schedule:

MD1-Sicoutimont vs Northern Sunrise Islands
MD2-Qazox vs Sicoutimont
MD3-Sicoutimont vs Kishrael

Pier-Luc Dion will start the first two matches, and Artyom Bergeron will tend the net Matchday 3. We hope to get second, but it is likely Qazox will win the group, with us, the Sunrisians and Kishrael battling for second place. However, an upset could happen, so tune in to your television to catch Sicoutimont vs Northern Sunrise Islands, 2 similar-ranked teams who play high quality football, with the World Cup 64 Qualifying results between these teams being 1-0 and 6-4, both in favour of Les Royales. So, can Les Royales get their first Cup of Harmony win? Find out tonight, on television, radio and livestream on your computer!

by **Swyftlandre** » Sat Apr 20, 2013 8:05 am

The Swyft-Inferiore Team for the 56th Cup of Harmony

Team:
(Upgrades due)

Keeper: Python-Wing, Aegis Class Mech v2 [Unit 001]
Pilot: James C. Graham
Position: General
Nationality: Swyftlandian
Age: 33

Forward: Python-Wing, Falcon Class Mech [Unit 002]
Pilot: Darell E. White
Position: Private
Nationality: Asadurian
Age: 19

Forward: Python-Wing, Falcon Class Mech [Unit 003]
Pilot: Wu Liang
Position: Private
Nationality: Chun-Nanese
Age: 25

Defender: Python-Wing, Sheppard Class Mech [Unit 004]
WARNING: EXPERIMENTAL MECH
Pilot: Michael Sheppard,
Position: Research Scientist
Nationality: Swyftlandian
Age: 27

Defender: Python-Wing, Shield Class Mech [Unit 005]
Pilot: Royce Brousseau
Position: Private
Nationality: Apoxian
Age: 19

Style Modifier: +1.5

RP Permissions:

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:

Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod scoring events Y
RP injuries to my players N
Godmod injuries to my players Y- TG me first. If a member of my team is injured, it's probably through Meteor damage or something.
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y - Sure, 1 per match.
Hand out red cards to my players Y - TG me first.
Godmod other events - Y

by **Mashiki** » Sat Apr 20, 2013 8:06 am

Mashiki's Cup of Harmony 56 Roster

Mashiki are back for their second time at a Cup of Harmony, after the last one at the Cup of Harmony 54 (which was ironically hosted by New Montreal States and Wight). This time however, it's an Esportivan affair as Mashiki look to improve on a joint bottom placed finish in their group last time out. Strangely, all injuries that were sustained during the World Cup have been recovered, as Mashiki look to keep on moving forward after missing out on qualifying for the World Cup by a single goal in the play-offs.

Manager
Maha Bubuneski
This is Maha's first Cup of Harmony, and will be looking to improve on Mashiki's last appearance.

Squad
(Starters in bold) Position - Name - Age - Club
Style Modifier +3.1

GK - Akarbe Walenga - 20 - S.C Tubushu
GK - Aranald Javinxa - 32 - F.C Dagnar United
GK - Finsha - 34 - F.C Tobaku

LB - Bashka Wimpal Mateng - 27 - South Bartal
CB - Mogrunza Harchelivak - 20 - St Bradley's City
RB - Nemi Willard - 22 - F.C Dagnar United
CB - Bubula Mendov - 24 - South Bartal
CB - Rallé Yavile - 28 - F.C Dagnar United
LB - Roben Gratera - 25 - Polovek Ignivites
RB - Nervoda Tyovena - 31 - Destina Masquet

CDM - Dilio Menz - 35 - Syriak Guadir (C)
CM - Harvis Rinkervic - 26 - South Bartal
LM - Aeon Rushidos - 24 - Syriak Guadir
RM - Salla Denchski - 20 - F.C Dagnar United
CAM - Francos Ivan - 24 - F.C United Guadir
CM - Dustos Medretti - 33 - Destina Masquet
LM - Uztak Wortalak - 24 - South Bartal
CAM - Gozlak Hespenta - 21 - South Bartal

ST - Papovski - 27 - Darting Baltana
ST - Papovska - 27 - Darting Baltana
CF - Frontera Hyada - 19 - Karavek Village Firestorms
ST - Milark Devina - 26 - Olympic Partiad
ST - Benge Redina - 18 - Maden Galpana

by **Shadowbourne** » Sat Apr 20, 2013 9:22 am

The Grand Sultanate of Razmakistan
The Supreme Leader's Palace
15-April, 2013
7:00 AM

"...we are incredibly sorry for the delay in your payment, and we assure you that it will arrive within the next few days. You will also recieve an additional $15 million gratuity as an assurance of our repentance for the inexcusable delay. The NOCS begs for your forgiveness, and hopes that this fiasco will neither damage nor destroy our symbiotic relationship."

Ahzar re-read the concluding paragraph of the NOCS's letter before tossing it away and turning to his new edition of "أخبار Weekly". He snapped his fingers. Almost instantaneously, one of the many peasants Ahzar employed to serve him and his beautiful palace appeared by his side with a steaming mug of cinnamon-blue grass tea. As Ahzar slowly raised the beautifully patterned mug to his face and took a sip of the piping hot liquid, he pondered his current situation. Should he choose to ignore the NOCS, he would lose a valuable trading partner, however, if he accepted their so-called gratuity and the shipment was further delayed, he would be making an idiot of himself in front of the entire international community.

Ahzar snapped his fingers once again, and yet another peasant arrived, this time an attractive young woman carrying a plate of what looked to be his breakfast. Ahzar smiled at the servant, and she scampered away with a look of what appeared to be a combination of awe and fear. As he stared down at the food before him, he scrunched his eyes and made a face. He turned to Tamir, his right-hand man and close friend.

"Tamir, what is this steaming pile of القرف ?"

"Goat testicles, sir. With a side of cat organs and home fries."

Ahzar pushed the plate away in disgust. Despite being born and raised in Razmakistan, he had developed a slightly westernized taste, and as a result, had no great interest in consuming the organs of a dead animal.

Ahzar looked back at Tamir.

"So, my friend, do you have any ideas as to what we can do regarding those furtive Shadowbourneans?"

"Well, sir, I think I do."

As Tamir leaned towards him and whispered into his ear, Ahzar felt a smle spread across his face.

"I must be going," said Ahzar, smiling mischievously. "I think I have a speech to give..."

"And now, please applaud for our glorious and heavenly commander, Supreme Leader Ahzar Abdul-Azeem!"

As Ahzar stepped out onto the balcony and into the sunlight, he basked in the applause of his millions of faithful supporters.

"Thank you, thank you. I would like to start my address by delivering to you some unexpected and quite unfortunate news: the National Oil Committee of Shadowbourne has once again chosen to delay our long awaited payments. For those of you who may not remember, several months ago, we sold Shadowbourne an abundance of oil in exchange for future payment. Unfortunately, this compensation has yet to arrive. While Shadowbourne has offered to show there repentance to us by including a $15 million bonus, we must not allow ourselves to be played by these deceitful liars. Of course, being the brilliant man that I am, I have devised a plan to show those filthy Shadowbourneans who is boss!"

Tamir rolled his eyes in the background as the crowd cheered.

"I have devised a plan to capture and hold for ransom the one thing that matters most to Shadowbourne."

There was more applause.

"Their national football team."

by **Saintland** » Sat Apr 20, 2013 10:41 am

Cup of Harmony 56 Preview

(Saintland Press) After the Kingdom of Saintland's National Soccer Team came up just short of qualifying for the World Cup, King Paulus XV accepted a bid to the 56th Cup of Harmony, a tournament that features 36 of the best teams that did not qualify for the World Cup. Following qualifying, the Sanctii are now the 103rd ranked team in the world. That is higher than New Sideburn (109), Barunia (111) or any other team that participated in the most recent Baptism of Fire. That was also good enough to earn a 3 seed in the Cup of Harmony. "I am confident about our chances going into the Cup of Harmony. Although only God knows at the present time if we can maintain our momentum from last week, I am confident that we can advance out of Group 9. New Sideburn has a much more difficult group than we do and I would be surprised if those thugs make it out of group stage. However, we need to focus on defeating Turori, Hutt River and Mangolana. We do not need to focus on the teams that are in the other 8 groups. We have spent the last few days preparing for our opponents and we believe we can beat all of them." - Prince Andreas

Following our Kingdom's last-minute elimination from the World Cup, the Kingdom of Saintland anticipated the Cup of Harmony Draw. They were drawn into Group 9. Their top-seeded opponent in Group 9 is 32nd ranked Turori. The 2nd seed in the group is 66th ranked Hutt River, a team that is only around 3 ranking points higher than the Sanctii. 152nd ranked Mangolana is the weakest team in Group 9, at least on paper.

In World Cup qualifying, the Sanctii out-performed all 3 of their Cup of Harmony opponents. Turori was in Group 14. They finished 3rd in their group with 34 points, edging out Kandorith +14 to +6 on goal differential. Vilita ran away with that group, winning 17 and drawing 1 for a total of 52 points. Svengarda finished 2nd with 38 points, winning 12, losing 4 and drawing 2. Turori won 10 matches and had 4 draws and 4 losses in qualifying. Kandorith won 11, drew once and lost 6. On the final day, Turori defeated Kandorith 3 goals to 1 to finish 3rd in their group. The streaky team from Turori had a 3 match losing streak, losing to Vilita, lowly Chunnan and Svengarda back-to-back-to-back in the second half of their qualifying campaign. Chunnan is currently ranked 131st in the world after winning 6, drawing 3 and losing 9 in qualifying. Yet, Turori lost to them 3 goals to nil down the stretch.

Hutt River is a team that finished 5th in Group 8 with 30 points. Taeshan ran away with that group, winning 14, drawing 3 and losing just once. Taeshan's loss was to Lalo Limahina on the final day when qualification was already more than secured. A fellow Baptism of Fire participant, Barunia, finished second in that soft group, winning 11, losing 6 and drawing once for a total of 34 points. They were unsurprisingly defeated by West Angola in the playoffs. They played in the Liventian half of the Baptism of Fire, which was noticeably inferior to the Gordonopian half and were eliminated by Nenets Autonomous Okrug, a team that New Sideburn defeated to win that competition. Karditan finished 3rd in that group with 33 points on 10 wins and 3 draws. They lost 5 times. Powersith was 4th with 9 wins, 4 draws and 5 losses for 31 points. Hutt River won 9, drew 3 and lost 6. They were defeated by Barunia on the final day of qualification 3 goals to 2. With the exception of Taeshan, none of the teams in Group 8 would have finished in the top 4 in Group 2.

That brings us, lastly to Mangolana. Mangolana finished 7th in Group 7 with just 20 points. Group 7 was dominated by World Cup 63 runners-up Starblaydia and Kiryu-shi. Starblaydia effortlessly won 14 and drew 4 for 46 points and a return to the World Cup. Kiryu-shi automatically qualified without a playoff by picking up 43 points on 14 wins and a draw. They lost 3 times. Boring Paradise finished 3rd in that group with 11 wins, a draw and 6 losses for a total of 34 points. Khytenna won 10, drew 3 and lost 5 for 33 points. Vettrera won 9, drew 2 and lost 7 for 29 points. Swyftlandre won 8, drew 3 and lost 7 for 27 points. Mangolana won just 6 and drew twice. They lost 10 times and somehow still got a bid to the Cup of Harmony. Through 13 matches, they had just 8 points, but they picked up 4 straight victories down the stretch. That may be why the Cup of Harmony organizers decided to invite them. Nonetheless, the Kingdom of Saintland is not Nova Cambria, Fulflood or Shining Armour. This reporter does not believe we have anything to be worried about.

The performance by the Sanctii in qualifying was much more impressive. Drawn into a group that included the defending World Cup champions Audioslavia, perennial chokers Kinitaria and Audioslavia's arch-rivals Krytenia, they proved that they were for real. The Sanctii won 12 times and drew once. They were defeated 5 times, although they lost just twice in their final 13 matches. On the final day, the match between Saintland and Audioslavia was tied 2 to 2 in added time while Kinitaria had just drawn Soviet Canuckistan. The Sanctii broke into the Audioslavian box and went all out on the attack, but Audioslavia's defense held strong and the champions counter-attacked for the match-winning goal that eliminated the Kingdom of Saintland from the World Cup. In a tough group that also included former World Cup hosts Queer Poco el Mono Ara and Cup of Harmony entrants Zwangzug and Kishrael, the Sanctii proved themselves. They defeated Kishrael and Queer Poco el Mono Ara twice and they picked up 4 points against Zwangzug. They defeated Krytenia and Kinitaria on back-to-back days. They probably should have won the group, but an injury knocked Seius out of the first match against Soviet Canuckistan. The backup keeper allowed 5 goals in the second half. Against Kinitaria and Audioslavia during the first half of qualifying, the Sanctii threw away points in the second half with bad strategic decisions by Prince Andreas. The same thing happened against Zwangzug the second time. If this team had been more experienced, they would have run away with Group 2, which was likely the toughest group of World Cup qualifying.

The Sanctii will face Hutt River in their Cup of Harmony opener. That will be followed by Mangolana on the 2nd day and Turori on the 3rd day. The top 2 teams from each group advance. The 9 group winners are guaranteed spots in the Round of 16, as are the top 5 runners-up. The remaining 4 teams will compete in a single-leg playoff round to earn a spot in the last 16. This competition has the potential to be over fairly quickly for the Sanctii, but the Saintland National Soccer Team is confident that they will be playing deep into this competition. We will find out whether that confidence is justified when the Sanctii play Hutt River live on Royal One tomorrow. It is going to be an interesting match.

Audioslavia 3, Saintland 2

(SP) The Kingdom of Saintland will not be going to the World Cup. Moments after the referee blew his whistle for full time as Kinitaria had drawn Soviet Canuckistan 2-2, the Sanctii failed to convert a goal scoring opportunity. Audioslavia counter-attacked and scored a match-winning goal. The Kingdom of Saintland's hopes of going to the World Cup had evaporated after yet another second half collapse. "I am just in disbelief. We came so close to making it to the World Cup in our first try and yet, we were still so far away. Audioslavia showed why they are the defending champions today and I wouldn't be surprised to see them repeat. I didn't want to mention this before the match, but we have already accepted a Cup of Harmony bid. We're going to Esportiva and I promise everybody in the Kingdom that, God willing, we will win the Cup of Harmony and send a message that we are going to qualify for the World Cup next time. I wouldn't be surprised if several of the teams from our group join us. Group 2 was the toughest group of World Cup qualification this year. I don't care what anybody else says. It was. We will regroup over the next week and we will prevail in the Cup of Harmony." - Prince Andreas

The match was played at the 1927 Stadium in Iadub, Kjeligsted. Audioslavia had sold their soccer team's home matches to the oil-rich nation and they played in front of a tiny 25 thousand seat stadium abroad while they had much larger stadiums going unused at home. The match opened with the Sanctii getting the better of possession. Prince Andreas gained possession of the ball on a pass from Petrus Mamilius as the clock entered the 7th minute. Vagionius created some separation inside the box and Prince Andreas passed him the ball. Stephanus Vagionius took a shot and hit it hard. It was tipped off the hands of Kajaxo Imaslavii, but it still sailed into the back of the net. The Sanctii led Audioslavia 1 goal to nil.

In the 17th minute, the Sanctii again threatened. Prince Andreas took a long shot and Imaslavii batted it out for a corner. The Prince Andreas corner went to Ioannes Poenius, who headed it slightly too high, as it hit the bar and bounced to Paulus Flaccus. Flaccus took a shot, but his shot went off the leg of Ruy Garcia for another corner. This time, the Prince Andreas corner was headed away to safety by Cesar Vasquez. The champs went on the counter-attack as they passed it forward to Karsten Eiger. Eiger out-ran the Sanctii defense and took a shot. Alessandro Seius knocked it out for a corner. The corner went to James Courier, who headed it past Seius. Audioslavia had tied the match at 1 goal apiece.

The Sanctii were slightly more careful defensively after conceding that goal, but they continued to attack as they used their size to their advantage against the smaller Audioslavian side. A Stephanus Vagionius shot hit the post in the 23rd and a Silvester Flaccus shot in the 27th was inches wide of the goal. The Sanctii had several other scoring opportunities early that they blew. Yet, they again came forward in the 40th minute. Prince Andreas used his skill to get around the defense and he was through on goal, with Vagionius on the other side. Prince Andreas faked a shot and passed to Vagionius. Imaslavii fell for the fake, Prince Andreas passed to Vagionius and the Sanctii striker scored his 2nd goal of the match and his 4th goal of qualifying against Audioslavia. The Kingdom of Saintland led 2 to 1 against Audioslavia and that would remain the score at halftime.

At halftime, Prince Andreas decided to make some substitutions. He brought on the Jucundius brothers and took the Flaccus brothers off, saving his 3rd and final substitution for later, just in case. The Sanctii switched to a 7-1-1-1 formation. The Sanctii came out in the second half, playing for possession, trying to hold onto their lead. For the first 20 minutes of the second half, it worked perfectly, as Audioslavia could not get sustained possession and could not get anything going offensively.

However, the Sanctii began to tire around the 65th minute. Soon, Audioslavia was holding the ball around as much as the Sanctii. In the 73rd minute, the champions finally made their move. They brought on Weverton Spradic for Txordin Velazquez and replaced Matías Garrastazu with Manestraal Jansen. In the 75th minute, that paid off as Weverton Spradic received a cross from Manestraal Jansen in the Sanctii box. Spradic placed his shot low and away. Alessandro Seius guessed high and near, so it easily sailed past Seius and into the back of the net. Audioslavia had equalized.

Prince Andreas decided it was time to make a change. Ioannes Gratus came on for Georgius Catiotus and the Poenius brothers moved forward to play outside midfield. Suddenly, the Sanctii were playing a 4-3-1-2 formation. They had enough energy left to go back on the attack. In the 79th minute, a Vagionius shot would hit the post again. Gratus rebounded it and also sent it into the post. Prince Andreas got a shot in the 85th minute and failed to convert. As the clock entered added time, Audioslavia was back defending and Mauro Soccorso had replaced Wim Van Wildernis.

The Royal One TV announcers confirmed in the 2nd minute of added time that Kinitaria had now officially drawn Soviet Canuckistan. The Sanctii would advance if they could just get a breakthrough. Prince Andreas took a shot and Imaslavii sent it out for a corner. On the Prince Andreas corner, the Sanctii brought everybody forward, including Alessandro Seius. The corner sailed just past a leaping Seius and was headed away by Soccorso. Zonestraal Jansen had stayed back and now he ran full-speed ahead after the ball. He got to it and he was gone as he ran the length of the pitch with the ball. He sent it sailing into an empty net and the entire Kingdom of Saintland knew that they were now out of the World Cup.

It had been a good run. The Sanctii had finished with 37 points in their first try. They had been an 8 seed and yet they had almost upset the champions on the final day. They had fallen just short of advancing. Kinitaria moves on to a playoff with Svengarda. Audioslavia advances to the World Cup. Now, the Kingdom of Saintland will play in the Cup of Harmony. There, we hope that our Kingdom's National Team will prove once again that they are for real and send a message to the rest of the soccer world.

Following their defeat against Audioslavia, the Sanctii were in disbelief. They had been certain that they would be going to the World Cup, but that was clearly not part of God's Plan. Prince Andreas spoke to the team.

Prince Andreas - I know we're all shocked by what just happened out there, but remember that this is all part of God's Plan. Our time will come. Before long, World Cup 65 will start and we will be back. We will have the experience of having competed in a grueling World Cup qualifying campaign before. We have been tested and we have shown that we are capable of hanging with the best teams in the world. We just need to wait. We will be back and next time, we will make it into the World Cup. Right now, God's Plan for us involves the Cup of Harmony. We will be competing in Apox or Licentiapacisterra a week from now. We will not know for a few days yet who we are facing in the Cup of Harmony, but do not be disheartened. We have proven in qualifying that we can hang with the best and now we have a chance to prove ourselves before a larger audience at the Cup of Harmony. There is also a chance that we could run into those Infernus-bound thugs from New Sideburn again. I know that by itself is sufficient motivation to play our best in the Cup of Harmony. This will be a short competition. It will be even shorter than the Baptism of Fire's group stage, so we need to make every match count. When we return home to Saintland, we are only returning home for a few moments. Upon arriving home, we will immediately prepare to leave for Esportiva. My father will be paying for accommodations at a hotel in Apox until the draw is concluded. If we are drawn in a group that plays in Licentiapacisterra, we will have a short flight. If our group plays in Apox, we will already be where we need to be. We will have daily marathon practice sessions for the next week. I want our stamina to be the best in the entire Cup of Harmony field by the time the tournament starts. It is time for our Kingdom to win the Cup of Harmony.

The Sanctii boarded the plane for their flight home. They were not going to get much rest over the next week, but that was by design. Indeed, this team didn't deserve any rest after blowing yet another lead in the second half and failing to qualify for the World Cup...

Meanwhile, the members of Feministvs Sanctvsterra made plans to attend the Cup of Harmony to show their support, or lack thereof, for the Patriarchal oppressors. During the week, they disrupted a World Bowl match when a number of Feministvs Sanctvsterra members ran onto the field at Royal Stadium, took off their clothes and streaked around the field naked. This had been planned for the home soccer match against Backyard Sports, but they got snowed in. Meanwhile, as the St. Petrus police responded to this disruption at the stadium, a number of Feministvs Sanctvsterra members stormed the Cathedral in St. Petrus. They went up to the altar and produced a blasphemous music video critical of the King of Saintland and the Church of Saintland. The Cantvs Feministvs musical group had recorded their first video. It had yet to be released, but Feministvs Sanctvsterra members were furiously trying to edit it so that it could be released.

When the Sanctii fans left for Apox, numerous Feministvs Sanctvsterra members posing as Saintland fans were among those attending the Cup of Harmony. They had false identification and had hacked the computer system so their false IDs appeared valid. It was risky going with the Saintland delegation, but if they were identified while in Apox, there wasn't anything the authorities from Saintland could do to them and they could always find another way back into the Kingdom of Saintland. On the ship, Agrippina the former korfball captain ran into Martha Pudentilla, Saintland's figure skating gold medalist at the last Winter Olympics. Pudentilla was the fiance of Georgius Catiotus, a center back for the Saintland National Team. She was being accompanied by her parents.

Martha Pudentilla - Hello.

Agrippina - Hello. I'm Elizabetha Sittius.

That was the name on her false ID.

Martha Pudentilla - I'm Martha Pudentilla

Agrippina was not familiar with Miss Pudentilla.

Agrippina - Nice to meet you, Miss Pudentilla.

Martha Pudentilla - Nice to meet you, Mrs. Sittius.

Agrippina - What brings you to the Cup of Harmony?

Martha Pudentilla - My fiance Georgius is playing for the National Team. He's a starting center back.

Agrippina - Congratulations.

Martha Pudentilla - After the Cup of Harmony is over, we're finally getting married. We've had so many things come up. First, I competed at the Winter Olympics. Ever since then, he's been so busy with the National Team. I just want to be with him so badly, but soccer comes first.

Agrippina was puzzled.

Agrippina - You competed at the Winter Olympics?

Martha Pudentilla - Yes. I won the gold medal in figure skating. I never expected to perform so well.

Agrippina - I haven't followed sports. I'm just so busy helping my husband.

That was a total lie, of course, but Agrippina was a master at hiding her true identity.

Martha Pudentilla - Your husband is the most important thing in your life, other than your relationship with God.

Agrippina wanted to reveal her identity so badly and explain to Martha just how oppressed she was, but that wouldn't have been prudent. That would have been a ticket back to Saintland and a long stay in prison. For now, she'd have to be content with biding her time and waiting until she got to Apox. In Apox, there would be nothing the Saintland authorities could do to stop her from protesting about the oppression of women in Saintland. On the ship, she could still be arrested if she revealed her true identity. It was frustrating, but it was also worth it. Feministvs Sanctvsterra were on their way to the Cup of Harmony. They were definitely going to get themselves noticed over the coming days...

by **Sargossa** » Sat Apr 20, 2013 11:46 am

SSM | Sargossan State Media
International Edition - Sport

Feeling The Harmony

Gonzalo Pereira reports from Montfort;

It’s lovely to be here. No, really. It’s an utter delight. Who wants to head for a storied sporting region and compete for the greatest prize in the sportiverse anyway? Exactly. So here we are in Licentiapacisterra (who’d rather spell Wight?) for a crack at everyone’s second favourite way to kill some time after the World Cup qualifiers. The reason for this appearance isn’t really that hard to fathom when you check out recent results. During the qualification campaign the Corsairs failed to register a single win against any of the four teams ranked directly below them in Group 6. A lone draw against Lymantatia was the sum total of Sargossan points in those mini battles. Coach Martín Tejera fell on his sword, to be replaced by former international striker Ernesto Farías, but the fight back never came. And the World Cup became something that happened to other people.

The squad remains remarkably unchanged. ‘They got us into this mess’, interim boss Farías explained, ‘they can get us out of it.’ So on paper there is no shortage of talent with Fernández and Gonzàlez forming a formidable (and unmistakably Hispanic) barrier at the back. In midfield Defederico and Galán will attempt to unlock the opposition while Ramís sits in front of the back four and up front a lot now rests on the shoulders of forward Federico Ferreyra who was one of the few to actually impress during the qualifiers, earning himself a move to Astograth in the process. Lack of experience certainly won’t be an issue with even the interim coach having past Cup of Harmony involvement, after his first spell in caretaker charge at the fiftieth edition of the tournament in Vilita. He'll be hoping that a strong showing here will strengthen his claim for getting the gig permanently. And that the rumours that the job of national coach has all but been handed to Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa turn out to be nothing more than pure tabloid speculation.

Flash forward to the present day and Sargossa finds itself in Group 2, or possibly Group S, among a number of sides who don’t tend to register very much on our radar. First up it’s the Sova Empire who happily combine the twin irritants of choral singing and religious fervour. We’ve taken an instant dislike to them. For reasons best known to themselves the men and possibly women of the Empire are using their initials alone for identification, although when we’re finished with them the only letters they’ll be needing will be an ‘S’, an ‘O’ and then a second ‘S’. Game two is a decidedly trickier affair against The Inevitable Syndicate. The Syndicate are an Atlantian nation, as distinguished by their beady little eyes and curious odour. But like all Atlantian nations they’re probably also blessed by that accursed luck garnered from the spill over effects of the Milchama-ians sacrificing a billion or so rubber chickens over the years. Completing the group is Swyftlandre who will probably be hoping that the local neutrals will rally behind the group’s only Esportivan effort. They were runner’s up at a Baptism of Fire once. Which is nice.

Prospects? Well, Sargossa are ahead of their group mates in the rankings by a country mile. Just like in the World Cup qualifiers. Ahem. In fact the Football Federation in their infinite wisdom have issued a diktat forbidden the discussion of rankings in terms of the wider tournament as it is entirely possible that the Corsairs are the highest ranked side in the whole damned competition. There being only fifteen nations in the cosmos better than us and all. Although thirty two nations went to compete in the greatest show on turf over in Wight and the New Montreal States. So how does that work? Regardless, we’ve been told not to think about rankings as a token glance would probably suggest we really should be winning this whole thing. And we all know how that ends. Although there is one team that we can be absolutely sure will not be winning the Cup of Harmony this year.

And that's the Polar Islandstates.

Hah.

Hmmm.

Nope.

Doesn’t work this way round.

by **Western cuba** » Sat Apr 20, 2013 12:10 pm

Presenting the Western Cuban National Football Team

Cup of Harmony 56

Information:
Rank: 63th
Manager: Artem Mesyats (1st Cup of Harmony)

Captain: Tito Moreno
Formation: 4-3-2-1
Style Modifier: +3

Starting Eleven

#01, Osip Semshov, Keeper, Magas Football Academy

#11, Feofil Salko, Left Back, Sovetsk Football Academy
#15, Pyotr Galkin, Center Back, Magas Football Academy
#04, Kir Birsk, Center Back, Magas Football Academy
#08, Zakhar Yurkov, Right Back, Sovetsk Football Academy

#07, Afanas Barkov, Left Center Midfield, Neya Football Academy
#12, Ioann Chudov, Defensive Midfield, Kstovo Football Academy
#09, Roman Amelin, Right Center Midfield, Neya Football Academy

#18, Andrei Mostovoi, Left Forward, Nazran Football Academy
#16, Marlen Kartashov, Right Forward, Nazran Football Academy

#21, Tito Moreno, Striker, Pays de Croix

Bench:

#13, Gavril Datsik, Keeper, Sovetsk Football Academy

#23, Boris Papanov, Defender, Kstovo Football Academy
#19, German Teplov, Defender, Sovetsk Football Academy

#17, Lyov Kharzin, Midfielder, Kstovo Football Academy
#05, Rolan Ulanov, Midfielder, Nazran Football Academy

#28, Stas Pereverzev, Forward, Magas Football Academy
#26, Geogry Rabinovich, Forward, Kstovo Football Academy

by **Apox** » Sat Apr 20, 2013 4:04 pm

Host Announcement

The cut-off time for Apoxian groups will be one hour later than the given time in the OP due to me travelling then. The cut-off for the Apoxian groups for MD1 will be at 7pm BST (6pm UTC)

by **Nenets Autonomous Okrug** » Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:49 pm

Fan’s journal

By: Sergei Simoneovitch Nen

That's me with my mother's reindeer herd! Nice antlers, eh?

So the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug didn’t make the World Cup. So what? Who ever thought they would? Why, when the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug first convened, most of them were wearing their snowshoes and hoping that they’d be able to walk upright on grass surfaces. They sure couldn't compete in the Nensport TV rankings with Reindeer Rassling. Not even with the Dogsled Racing from over in Vorkuty.

And then the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug landed in Liventia for their Baptism of Fire and proceeded to win every game! Without conceding a goal! Why, it seemed like the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug was actually not bad at this footballing racket.

And so they went into the Baptism final pretty cocky. But that final, why, it was played in the other country hosting the Baptism of Fire: United Gordonopia.

And the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug lost. Why, it must be some sort of curse. Sure, New Sideburn played a good match, but we all know the results are determined by either (a) Sirte the Bear, (b) Various Random Number Gods, who I assume are some sort of ptarmigan, (c) Bastard Mod Gods with, frankly, pretty terrifying armbands, or (d) Some god called Margaret, who I assume is also a bear, as she seems to be quite respected around these parts.

So obviously one or more of those gods intervened and stole a perfect tournament from the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug.

And then the qualifiers. Well, least said about those the better. And honestly, I scoured the foreign press from all the countries that played against the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug, and apart from a few lines in Akbarish and something about an elf being quite fond of her daughter, didn’t read much about it.

Foreigners.

Luckily, there’s a trophy called the Cup of Harmony. Once upon a time it was called the Super Frosty Cup or something like that. Which sounds tasty. But harmony is fine too, I guess, as long as there aren’t too many foreigners I have to be harmonious with.

And even more luckily, a bunch of my mates and me can get to this tournament, because it’s being played right here in Esportiva. I have to admit I’m a bit hazy on the geography of Esportiva, since the Autonomous Okrug hasn't been in touch with our neighbours long enough gfor their mapmakers to locate our country. But I assume that most of it is well south of the Autonomous Okrug, since they say most of Esportiva is not entirely covered in snow.

Well, each to their own, I guess. Up to a point. They say that the Lovely Land of Licentiapacisterra is not only quite keen on peaceonearth, but also has quite a few beaches that are covered in sand, rather than ice garnished by a lot more ice, like the beaches of the Autonomous Okrug.

So, me and my mates are off to Licentiapacisterra, courtesy of Warmquest Package Vacations, and we’re checked into what sounds like a really nice hotel in Montfort. From there, we’ll follow the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug to wherever they’re playing. Armed with my trusty Nenets-Foreigner phrasebook, I look forward to meeting a lot of foreigners, learning to speak a few words of Foreign, and best of all see the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug in action against a few foreigners. Low-scoring fun is forecast! Or possibly it’ll be a high-scoring nightmare.

I see Barunia is in our group. Makes me feel all cool and furry (Or as the phrasebook says foreigners call it, Warm and Fuzzy.) Well, the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug beat them in the Baptism of Fire, in the toughest match. I loved seeing the Suns play: poetry in motion, it was. They nearly made the World Cup, too, so they've raised their game a few notches since then. I like the Suns. My mates all like the Suns.

But we like the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug more. So let’s don some acquamarine for that match and see if we can beat them again!

Also in the group, and much higher-ranked than the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug: Western Cuba. That sounds like yet another warm country. Last seen crashing to a humiliating loss to Apox, the co-host of the Esportivan shindig, the Western Cubans are said to play rough, offensive football. Not surpirisng considering a rocky history with its share of communism. We know all about that sort of struggle, comrades. (Or fellow consumers, I guess we're supposed to call them now.) A tough challenge, that one.

And finally, the Footballing Squad of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug opens against … well, fuck. United Gordonopia. The place where we lost the Baptism of Fire and surrendered our first-ever goal. Good thing they can’t see our faces now.

Now, which gods to appease?

by **Zwangzug** » Sat Apr 20, 2013 10:17 pm

The Spenson Star
Cursory statistics, unimportant preview

A belated congratulations, such as it is, to Zwangzug for taking, naturally, a joint share of the "Draw Cup" during the World Cup 64 qualifiers, with seven ties as many as any team (also reached by Ko-oren and Akbarabad). But now it's onto the Cup of Harmony in Apox and Licentiapacisterra. If our quick approximations can be trusted, and we're not promising you anything, Zwangzug outrank four teams here (and postdate three).

Bridget Scroves has rewarded the side for their decent qualification performance, it would seem, with all the players invited back. With Eintracht Trink falling out of form in the second league season, both of their players have been nominally [numerically? -ed] benched--Yuuki Nakano is replaced by Loris Muraro-Ughi, while Antje Kurzmann-Tremme gives way to...well, Joan Gerland, indirectly, but she'll take over Ted Silla-Raty's position while the latter moves to the center of the park, in line with his club's rather attractive form. Kurzmann-Tremme seems anxious to play her way back into the starting lineup, while Nakano appears more at ease. Perhaps he realizes they'll both get their chance to start, spreading the goalscoring opportunities around...such as they are.

Though the rest of the world might take a while to hear about it, suffice it to say that the last season was more stressful or divisive for the fans than for the players. "Nah, it's just good to be back together," Brett Chrowder explains. "We had a good run in the qualifiers, and I'm looking forward to see if we can put together more of the same here."

"If," is it, Brett? On the one hand, the shift to nine groups of four could be better for young teams than a longer group stage might have been--with less time to regress towards the mean, the argument goes, the more likely an early upset could set the tune for the rest of the tournament. On the other hand, Chrowder's reservations seem to hint, Zwangzug might need a while to hit their stride--recall how they held Krytenia to a draw only in their second leg, so there's not much margin for error.

The old team had an enviable record as this tournament goes: one invitation, one triumph. Can Zwangzug possibly hope for as much this time around? Stranger things have happened, but "strange" doesn't necessarily mean good.

Not-all-that-obligatory preview

Mytannion: Zwangzug get their first seeds out of the way with quickly. Mytannion brought in a new and uncertain manager for the World Cup qualifiers, and--obviously--it didn't work as well as they'd hope. Should fans of the two teams interact much, supporters of Mytannion might attempt to point out that Zwangzug's football structure is dissimilar to that of other countries where the sport has a more deep-seated history. In this case, the appropriate response is to admit that they are quite right! No one is claiming that we are commonplace as leagues go, or national teams have gone, nor, frankly, should we be. Such frank admission to the facts might surprise the Mytannion fans, and so much the better. We're unique. It's time to own it.

Filopines: a team invited to just their first Cup of Harmony in what seems to be about four World Cups, pointing to an erratic history. Potentially a vulnerable one? We're not sure. What we do know is that they, like the "Hoops," also introduced a new manager for the World Cup 64 qualifiers. Or, actually, maybe team Cassadaigua's warm-up campaign from before that tournament. Or come to think of it, maybe he's new now...okay, the point is, this side is more enigmatic than they let on.

Ossidiacqua: saving the worst for last. This is, as far as Zwangzug is concerned, arguably the most terrifying country in the tournament.

Okay, "la Renaissance" aren't a powerhouse of a team. And sure, the...instability of their coaching position is not too impressive, from the outside, but we all have our faults. But have you read a fraction of their history? Legend has it that when a horrible plague broke out, some geniuses in their soon-to-be-bygone predecessor state thought it would be a good idea to solve this problem by putting up a bleeping "time-wall" around the entire country, which worked not at all--the national football team was stranded outside for months, while centuries passed within the inaccessible state, inspiring various travails of heartbreak and despair. Even if a fraction of that is true, that's still more than enough to justify any lingering (or newborn) paranoia in Zwangzug about football and its role in opening up cracks in the universe where we'd really, really rather not go. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

But if nothing else? The trains in Apox should run on time, so, there's a relief.

by **Turori** » Sat Apr 20, 2013 11:11 pm

Cup of Harmony Champions
Post World Cup 26; Post World Cup 32
Pre-WC 15 Baptism of Fire Champions

:: National Team Factsheet ::

........................	......................................
Nation:	The Island Emirate of Turori
Nickname:	the 'Eels'
First World Cup:	World Cup 15
Region:
Weather:	Mostly Tropical
Map:	Map of Turori

...................................................................
.

.

.

:: TRIGRAMME [TUR] ::
:: STYLE [-1.0] ::

Head Coach: Ematea Saenu
An on-again/off-again relationship between the Gibbons family and the Turori National Team continues for World Cup 63 as Abraham, Jake and Aaron Gibbons join the National Team setup under the guidance of their father Mikael. The Gibbons family was kicked out of Darmen after a vote-buying scandal at Eau Claire Aris Football Club. However, Gibbon's role as Head Coach has been reduced to that as Training Coach, allowing him more time to focus on the development of his son's to the Turorian system, as well as to protect against Gibbons' death in a parallel Wyvern universe to catch up with the former Darmeni manager and end his term in this universe. Turori's Ematea Saenu will take over the duties of Head Coach for the World Cup 63 Finals.

The coaches will select the squad from the National Player pool. Players are listed below, grouped by position and sorted by projection 'Depth Chart' position where the top player listed is most likely to be named the first player selected for that position, and so on. Depth chart positions are determined by performance in pre-cup training sessions, as well as performance and average ratings in the Vilitan League competition and previous appearances for the National Team.

GOALKEEPERS:

[ 86 ] Hooizo Nuakoi [ - Turoki Tide (Vilita) - ]
------- GK ( AGE: 28 CAPS: 32 :: GOALS::SR: 0 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Nuakoi, a dual Vilitan & Turorian national, entered World Cup 58 qualifying uncapped and undeclared for either Nation. Nuakoi was widely expected to openly declare Turorian Nationality going into the qualifying, but with the rise of rival Ronji Miiastara, Nuakoi decided to leave the door open to a Vilitan return should he remain uncapped for Turori. After spending Season 26 and 27 at Turoki Isle, Nuakoi made the move to the Yeaddin Owls midway through Season 27 to become their #1 keeper. Nuakoi returned to Turoki during Season 29, joining the Turoki Tide as they finished runners up in the Stellar Division. Nuakoi was important in the Tide's success in the Tropical Trophy, the clubs first major Top-Level silverware, before rising to prominence in the lore's of the opening of a new chapter of Sporting Success in Turoki. Nuakoi led the Tide to the Stellar Division championship during Seasons 32 and 33 before a remarkable run to defeat rivals Strike FC in the 40th Globe Cup Final for Turoki's first International club competition title. Nuakoi's performances in goal were critical as a 0-0 shutout performance in the final match gave the Tide a remarkable victory in the UICA Super Cup, the first Vilitan League side to lift the trophy. Nuakoi

[ 1 ] Ronji Miiastara [ - Kiiarana City - ]
------- GK ( AGE: 28 CAPS: 63 :: GOALS::SR: 0 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Miiastara joined Marine Coast United in Vilita for their V-League 27 campaign in the Declasse, just the second ever for the club at that level. Miiastara was tasked with keeping the ball out of the net, and he did just that, helping lead Marine Coast United back to the Stellar Division at the first attempt leading up to V-League 28. After competing in the UICA 'B' Champions League, Marine Coast finished a respectable 7th place in the V-League but just missed out on a UICA place. Miiastara jumped ship to Kiiarana City in order to participate in the UICA Globe Cup prior to Season 29. While Kiiarana did not make the huge title push expected of them, Miiastara let in a career low 14 goals during Season 30, leading Kiiarana to a runner up finish in the Stellar Division a place in the UICA Champions League and a Tropical Trophy victory. It would be the lone high point at the club for Miiastara, however. After losing his 'ever present' status as National Team goalkeeper to the domestically succesful Hooizo Nuakoi, Miiastara made the switch to Colonial for Season 35 and immediately added a second Tropical Trophy victory to his resume

[ 82 ] Mumau Atla-Siioai [ - Turoki United (Vilita) - ]
------- GK ( AGE: 29 CAPS: 5 :: GOALS::SR: 0 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
A Dual Vilita & Turori National, Atla-Siioai was invited to the Vilitan World Cup 57 Training camp - but so were 6 other goalkeepers. Atla-Siioai transferred from the Kionao Locals to Vilitan side Turoki United for the V-League 27 season. While his play for Turoki was solid, the impact of Atla-Siioai's presence was most evident back in Turori as the Locals were relegated from the V-League with a club record 20 defeats. While showing the importance of having Atla-Siioai in the squad, the fact that the Goalkeeper left the Locals high and dry has not left a good impression on their Turorian fanbase. Atla-Siioai has, however, made a name for himself in Turoki, repeatedly being named Supporters Player of the Season and leading the team into UICA Competition places including the clubs first UICA Champions Cup appearance following Season 36. Atla-Siioai has been the Player of the Year at Turoki United every season since joining the club.

DEFENDERS:

[ 12 ] Diauro Dlaminii [ - Turoki Tide (Vilita) - ]
------- D LC ( AGE: 29 CAPS: 78 :: GOALS::SR: 3 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Dlaminii started his career at Vilitan lower league side Alona Sissil where he impressed greatly, warranting interest from all the top named V-League sides. Dlaminii eventually decided to head home to Turori, signing with Cednia Beach AFC where he competed in all of the clubs V-League 27 matches.

[ 3 ] Lioniaa Tana [ - Turoki Tide (Vilita) - ]
------- D/DM LC ( AGE: 29 CAPS: 91 :: GOALS::SR: 5 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Tana is one of the most athetlically skilled defensive players in the Turorian arsenal, although Tana's weakness shines in technical areas like heading and man to man marking. After starting their career at Vilitan side Rammsissil, Tana moved to Eastal Lunar FC during V-League 27, winning the Vilitan Cup with the team during Season 28 but relegation triggered a clause allowing Tana to return home to Turori with Cednia Beach AFC for Season 29. After a miserable campaign which saw Tana without Champions Cup competition, Tana joined the Turoki Tide for Season 34, doing so in time for their 43rd UICA Cycle run. The Tide lifted the UICA Globe Cup and UICA Super Cup, one of three Turorian players on the roster for the Tide's Triumph. Tana was named Turorian player of the Season for Season 35 and 36.

[ 2 ] Yoains Konoaafeo [ - Cednia Beach AFC - ]
------- D RLC ( AGE: 30 CAPS: 88 :: GOALS::SR: 6 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Konoaafeo was the top defensive product of the Yeaddin Academy and was expected to be part of the Vilitan national team set up due to this fact. However, after not being capped during World Cup 57 Qualifying, and learning of Turori's intention to enter World Cup 58, Konoaafeo switched allegiances both for club and country. After playing half of V-League 26 with the Kionao Locals, Konoaafeo moved to Cednia Beach AFC where he would lead the Coconut Kickers to their second V-League championship, being named Turorian player of the season in the process.

[ 5 ] Noa-isinao Wioauoi [ - Arcticala Inlet (Vilita) - ]
------- D RLC ( AGE: 27 CAPS: 23 :: GOALS::SR: 1 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Noa-isinao Wioauoi ws a product of the Yeaddin Academy who caught the eye of one Yeaddin reporter at a training session doing ball handling tricks, and the shared video went viral, sparking a campaign including a fan website and even local town council requests to invite the youngster into the Vilita National Team training camp for World Cup 57. Wioauoi was invited to the camp, but never impressed coaches Massa and Wrice enough to be capped during the process. Wioauoi, born in Turori despite leaving in Vilita, accepted an invitation from the Football Association of Turori to train with them in preparation for a playing role in the World Cup 58 Qualifiers. Wioauoi has spent most of his career at Arcticala Inlet, though did make a brief stop in Turoki to play a season and a half with the Tide.

[ 4 ] Balariita Muzmaara [ - Morata Valley (Vilita) - ]
------- D LC ( AGE: 25 CAPS: 20 :: GOALS::SR: 0 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Muzmaara, one of the youngest players ever invited to a Turorian National Team training camp (Ignoring the Cocoboas), joining the Terrarokka Spirit during Season 27. After spending seasons bouncing between the League and Amateur levels, Muzmaara finally moved to play full time for the Kionao Locals, spending two seasons at home in Turori

[ 61 ] Moia Fliporta [ - Kiiarana City (Vilita) - ]
------- D/DM L ( AGE: 28 CAPS: 6 :: GOALS::SR: 0 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Fliporta started their career at Laiotia Locals in the Non-League system of Vilita. Known for aerobic ability such as speed, acceleration and the ability to jump higher than most anyone on the pitch, Fliporta is otherwise not particularly great at the technical aspects of the game. After holding out to remain the star at non-league Laiotia City, Fliporta finally 'sold out' and moved to the Stellar Division to play for Kiiarana City.

DEFENSIVE MID:

[ 22 ] Restiaa Mumamba [ - Yeaddin Owls (Vilita) - ]
------- ATH ( AGE: 27 CAPS: 91 :: GOALS::SR: 3 )
Mumamba was the definition of a versatile player for Vilita's Yeaddin Owls after joining them for the V-League 27 season from Jlinal Cove FC. Mumamba played in every position from Central Defender to Striker, scoring a game winning goal in one game and a game saving tackle in the next. Mumamba is an expert choice for a third sub or to allow tactical changes on the pitch without substitutions being made. The strong and versatile performances of Mumamba during Season 28 earned Mumamba a high profile transfer to defending Stellar Division champions Arcticala Inlet but he left the Electricians the following season to be apart of the growing Yeaddin Owls squad. Mumamba spent 4 seasons in Yeaddin without recording any meaningful domestic awards other than the Season 29 Turorian Player of the Season award. The lure of international competition was too great for Mumamba who joined the Turoki Tide for Season 34, doing so in time for their 43rd UICA Cycle run. Mumamba helpd the Tide lift the UICA Globe Cup and UICA Super Cup, one of three Turorian players on the roster for the Tide's Triumph. However, after achieving glory with the Tide, Mumamba returned to his former club Yeaddin, vowing to one day bring the same success back to the Lirai Asku Castle.

[ 22 ] Klaillal Tuirma [ - Colonial Sile (Vilita) - ]
------- ATH ( AGE: 19 CAPS: 0 :: GOALS::SR: 0 )
Descendant of Season 4 Turorian Player of the Season and National team legend Cuolia Tuirma, Klaillal will work with Restiaa Mumamba to become the future "All-Around" player for the Turori National Team. Playing in a unique role, Tuirma will be expected to fill the role of being able to play every game, in every position - even Goalkeeper, if there are no subs left. Tuirma will certainly be starting as a substitute during their debut campaign in World Cup 62 but may get the chance to start against weaker opposition. After being brought up through the academy system at Kionao, Tuirma signed a professional contract with Colonial Sile in Vilita for Season 35, winning silverware in the first match, the Tropical Trophy triumph over Strike.

MIDFIELDERS:

[ 6 ] Raso Tareak [ - Turoki Tide (Vilita) - ]
------- M C ( AGE: 29 CAPS: 86 :: GOALS::SR: 11 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Tareak joined Jlinal Cove FC in Vilita for V-League 26 helping the club to a respectable 8th place finish. In V-League 27, Tareak's peformances improved with a pair of goals helping Jlinal to an all-time best finish of 4th place in the standings. Tareak's impressive performances in Jlinal earned him a transfer, first to Turorian UICA Champions League representatives Cednia Beach AFC, then to the Yeaddin Owls for V-League 30 before moving to Jungle Strike FC

[ 17 ] Cediici Tzatzos [ - Cednia Beach AFC - ]
------- M R ( AGE: 31 CAPS: 92 :: GOALS::SR: 7 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
A determined winger, Tzatzos is a product of the Strike Academy and remained a bit-part player for the club when the Vilitan League resumed for Season 26. Tzatsos was part of Strike's Stellar Division winning Season 27 side while being named Turorian Player of the Season, but when the success did not repeat itself during Season 28, Tzatzos was transfered to Kiiarana City. Looking to take a step back, Tzatzos moved across town to Kiiara-Torra in the Declasse division and helped to orchestrate a masterful promotion during season 33. Tzatzos would not stick around, however, looking to make the quick jump to the upper half of the table, signing for Makosile United.

[ 16 ] Rutaj Ranaso [ - Turoki Tide (Vilita) - ]
------- M LC ( AGE: 28 CAPS: 37 :: GOALS::SR: 4 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Ranaso moved from Turori to the nearby island of Turoki to play for Mavaloiao FC in the Vilitan Declasse when the league resumed for Season 26. After 2 strong seasons at the Declasse side, Ranaso joined Stellar Division side Eastal Lunar for V-League Season 28 and helped them win the Vilitan Cup despite relegation from the Stellar Division. Ranaso wouldn't stick around in the lower leagues, however, spending two seasons in Turori before moving to the Turoki Tide where he would win a UICA Champions Cup title.

[ 13 ] Vrotaoa Lorasoiba [ - Arcticala Inlet (Vilita) - ]
------- M C ( AGE: 29 CAPS: 88 :: GOALS::SR: 9 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Lorasoiba's impressive performances for Turoki United, including 5 goals during the V-League 26 season, earned a high-value transfer to top Vilitan side Arcticala Inlet AFC. While it took Lorasoiba some time to get settled into life on the big Island, Lorasoiba's performances were enough to get an invitation to the Turori National Training camp for World Cup 58. Lorasoiba would impress on an international level, becoming one of the most important players in the Eels lineup, and also returned home domestically to help in the rise of Mliona-Lpaka as a domestic and international threat.

[ 38 ] Tiika Diirotora [ - Kiiarana (Vilita) - ]
------- M RC ( AGE: 29 CAPS: 45 :: GOALS::SR: 3 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Diirotora is a dedicated and well travelled midfielder who made a name for themselves while leading Kiiarana City to the Vilitan Cup Final in V-League 27. After starting their career in the Liguon Valley, Diirotora made the leap to the Stellar Division for Season 27 and the move payed off with 4 goals and a post season transfer back home to Turori with mega-club Cednia Beach AFC. Diirotora spent a season at Makosile before joining Strike for Season 30.

[ 7 ] Rikko Rawaii [ - Arcticala Inlet (Vilita) - ]
------- AM C ( AGE: 28 CAPS: 90 :: GOALS::SR: 17 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Rawaii's dribbling ability coupled with lightning pace make him a threat any time he touches the ball, to create something even from nothing with a few quick moves. Rawaii is not known so much as a goalscorer, instead, an opportunity creator. Rawaii was named Player of the Year at Arcticala Inlet during Season 26 and was named Turorian player of the year during Season 27 when Inlet won the Tropical Trophy. Rawaii would win the Stellar Division with Arcticala Inlet during Season 29 finishing second in the goalscoring race.

[ 70 ] Aaron Gibbons [ - Kionao Locals - ]
------- M C ( AGE: 32 CAPS: 4 :: GOALS::SR: 0 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]

[ 12 ] Jake Gibbons [ - Kionao Locals - ]
------- M RC ( AGE: 30 CAPS: 1 :: GOALS::SR: 0 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]

[ ] Etamara Kulkkiia [ - Cednia Beach AFC - ]
------- AM C ( AGE: 16 CAPS: -0- :: GOALS::SR: U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Kulkkiia was developed at the Cednia Beach Academy having been highly scouted and recruited by teams throughout Turori and even Vilita. After the Turori Eels failure to qualify for World Cup 64, Kulkkiia became the subject of media attention questioning whether the aging crop of players should make way for younger players like Kulkkiia in the Esportiva-hosted Cup of Harmony for World Cup 64.

FORWARDS:

[ 8 ] Liinai Zakazaka [ - Makosile (Vilita) - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 28 CAPS: 92 :: GOALS::SR: 39 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Zakazaka joined Jlinal Cove FC for the V-League 27 season and gained some attention back in Turori for their contribution to the 'Cove's impressive top-4 finish in the final standings. Zakazaka was named Jlinal Cove's top player during Season 28.

[ 19 ] Jukkia Diijelhma [ - Jlinal Cove FC (Vilita) - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 29 CAPS: 41 :: GOALS::SR: 12 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Born in Starblaydia, Diijelhma moved to Turori following V-League Season 26 to pursue a new career in the Island Emirate. Diijelhma was one of the few Kionao Locals players in their disasterous V-League 27 season to receive even neutral reviews. Despite scoring no goals on the season, the Striker showed some skill that was required for the Locals to avoid another relegation in Season 28, and also proved to be useful for the Turori National team. After 7 seasons in Kionao, Diijelhma moved to Vilita to play for Jlinal Cove along side National Team star Liinai Zakazaka.

[ 18 ] Loala Kigoouao [ - Arcticala Inlet (Vilita) - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 29 CAPS: 70 :: GOALS::SR: 22 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Kigoouao signed for Morata Valley FC for V-League 26 and instantly made an impact at the Vilitan club, earning Top Goalscorer honors in the Declasse while leading Morata Valley to Stellar Division Promotion. Kigoouao was unfazed by the higher level of competition, upping the goal count to 16 in Season 27 and firmly setting the expectation that they would be the go-to forward for the Turori National Team in World Cup 58. Kigoouao was named Morata Valley player of the season during Season 27 and 28. After many outstanding seasons at Morata Valley, Kigoouao joined the Turoki Tide for V-League 30.

[ 9 ] Anuh Ciniima [ - Morata Valley (Vilita) - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 29 CAPS: 46 :: GOALS::SR: 5 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]
Ciniima was born in Turori to Misrantian parents before moving to Vilita to study and train for his sporting career. The unselfish striker joined Morata Valley after their promotion to the Stellar Division for Season 27 as a compliment to Turorian Striker Loala Kigoouao. Ciniima, while able to put the ball in the net when needed, has shown to be an expert decision maker, recording twice as many assists as goals inside the box.

[ 80 ] Abraham Gibbons [ - Kionao Locals - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 34 CAPS: 1 :: GOALS::SR: 0 U21: REG: ) :: [ N/R ]

I Give My Opponent Permission To:		
	====================		
	Choose Scorers: Y		
	GodMod Goalscoring Events: Y		
			
	Injure Players: Y (Limited to Duration of Competition)		
	GodMod Injury Events Y (Limited to Duration of Competition)		
			
	Red Card Players: Y   (TG After RP is Posted to Inform)		
	Yellow Card Players: Y		
	GodMod Other Events: Y		
	===================

Cup of Harmony 56 (Everything Thread)

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