World Cup 64 RP Thread

[Vettrera]

3 Months Ago...

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"And how does that make you feel..?" He asked.

"How the fuck do you think it would make me feel?"

"Angry, apparently. All of this blind rage will not help you work through your problems."

"I keep telling you all, I don't have any fucking problems."

"I can tell you have an anger management problem..."

He continued. "Listen Carson, you can yell all you want, but you'll never get better if you don't work through these issues."

"I keep tellin' you all, I don't have any damn issues"

"Well then what do you call all of this huh? You sit in the same damn chair for the same damn three days every week, and bitch, and moan, and act like nothing's wrong with your life when there obviously is. You sit here and act like I'm here to waste your time, when in reality you're wasting mine. For two months we've been having the same damn conversation, with you being here in denial acting like you don't need to be here. You may think that you're the shit, cause you're some high profile celebrity, but you are not. You may think that your life is more valuable than mine and that you don't need no psychiatrist telling you what's wrong with you, but you do. You can sit in this damn chair until you vegetate if you want to, cause I get paid by the hour whether you make progress or not. You're the one that needs therapy before you can get back on the field.....not me. There are 3 months till the World Cup, and 1 month till the Final Roster is released. If you finish therapy, you're guaranteed a spot on the squad. Otherwise....we'll see."

"They wouldn't kick me off the team."

"What the hell are you talking about? This is SOCCER. Vettrera's soccer record is complete crap. You guys posed your best season ever last year and were still shitty. Do you really think that the VSC or the National Government cares about whether or not you're on the soccer team? Tadlock isn't even president anymore, so he's not advocating the PUSH initiative, and Beatrice is close to retirement. Sooner than later, sports and tourism will no longer be a national priority, and soccer will no longer be a priority for the Vettrera Sporting Commission. So I suggest you get to talking, so you can bask in the limelight while you still can..."

(Silence)

"Fine....like I said, we can sit here all day; I get paid by the hour......"

(Pause) "It all started, when I was born."

[The Archregimancy]

Dear Heathens Aslarxii se Vegai Fuborii,

We read with interest your plans for the Ekartera’al se Fuborii Vegai. While certainly no match for a proper cathedral, we consider this appalling monstrosity fascinating structure to be incorrigibly vulgar a no-doubt representative example of modern Vegan architecture.

Here at the Orthodox Institute for Monastic Cuisine (Archregimancy Chapter), we were wondering if you'd given thought to your vegetarian and - no pun intended - vegan football supporters. You'll no doubt recognise the importance of catering to this important market.

As such, we would like to apply - on behalf of the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy - to open a branch of the fast food concept that's poised to sweep Ordinary Reality:

Lentil as Anything!

This exciting restaurant has only five items on the menu:

1) Lentil and Broad Bean Burger

2) Red Lentils with Mushrooms

3) Green Lentils with Fried Onions

4) Spiced Yellow Lentils with Coconut Milk and Coriander

5) Lentils Five Ways

This restricted menu guarantees both high quality control and rapid customer service turnaround, thereby leading to a high sales volume. Additional condiments and an extensive salad bar are available as self-service options.

We hope you find this to be an attractive option, and we can supply a full business plan drafted by a Holy Empire team familiar with Ordinary Reality economies.

It is part of the Lentil as Anything! ethos that fully 50% of net profits are donated to local charities; these need not be Orthodox religious charities (though they must not run counter to Orthodox values) and we look forward to discussing appropriate recipients with either yourselves, or perhaps even representatives of the Vegan royal family, as appropriate.

Sincerely Yours,

The Orthodox Institute for Monastic Cuisine (Archregimancy Chapter)

[Karditan]

The banquet hall of Silveen Eleco's mansion was bustling with activity, even though it held barely a quarter of its maximum capacity. Waiters hustled under the soft natural light beaming in through the glass ceiling, serving up the best food the Fillydelphia Culinary Institute can make to some of the worst characters Karditan has ever produced. Shifty businessmen dining with petty thieves, serial murderers clinking glasses with corrupt politicians, communists chatting with mobsters, the whole gamut of society's gutter scraped into the nation's most lavish room. And what is this big gathering for, you might ask? Planning a massive bank heist, or jailbreak? Plans to overthrow the government? Plans to rig the Karditani Baseball League and screw over the bookies? No, none of that at all compares to the vile, extremely illegal matter they were discussing.

Soccer.

Eleco took to the small stage at the front of the room, the crowd assembled in front of him gradually quieting as he stood at the solid silver podium. Once the ambient noise had reached an acceptable level, Karditan's wealthiest businessman cleared his throat and set about the day's business.

"As I am sure you are all aware, the qualifiers for the next World Cup shall soon be upon us."

"And we're gonna kick some Taeshani ass, is what we're gonna do!" yelled Brutus, the crass young Pegasus, jumping up and floating above the table for a moment before the irritated glare of Eleco settled him back down.

"...yes, we will have a chance to get revenge for our loss against Taeshan in World Cup 63. But our primary objective is still to qualify; we are still not ranked in the top 30 of the world yet, so we can by no means attempt to 'coast' our way back into the Cup. We will have to work even harder, play even better, and most crucially: stealthily get the word out."

Murmurs of confusion spread through the crowd, which Eleco met with a raised hand. "Let me explain. While we have done miraculous things under our circumstances--our standard of play is well above what a normal team could do with our extremely limited practice time--it will become more and more difficult for us to improve beyond our current skill in these conditions. We're likely going to stew at the edge of the 'teams-than-can-qualify-but-can't-do-anything-in-the-Cup-proper' classification for as long as we need to suffer under the tyrannical anti-soccer laws the government has upheld all these years. We need to drum up more support for soccer around the country, but not so aggressively that the authorities take notice. Gradually increase popularity until we have a strong enough lobby to storm the referendums and get that archaic ban off the books."

Emanuel Portico, sitting off to the side with his wife, spoke up. "I'm already on that. Amateur soccer leagues are running under the radar in the slums outside Nozama and Norleans. It was actually quite easy to set up, since they can't afford all the equipment necessary for baseball or football, and have nothing else to do."

"What about basketball?" queried John Bum from across the room. Korzado reached over and gave him a wack on the back of the head.

"Nobody likes basketball, you moron."

John reached back and rubbed the sore spot the hoof left. "Right, boss..."

Silveen cleared his throat again and continued. "Yes, Emanuel is spot on. Focus on the poor areas first, as they are often the most receptive to both the game and breaking the law. The middle-class will have to be tackled later; preferably after the legalization, as then we can net them with just some clever advertising. Now, I'll step aside and let Sucker Punch have the podium; he has a big announcement to make."

The crowd cheered noisily as the shifty-looking unicorn stepped onstage, half-jumping to prop his front hooves atop the podium. "Thanks, everyone. I've had a lot of fun traveling around with you guys, and the moment I found out we had qualified for the World Cup was probably the best moment of my life. But, with a heavy heart, I must announce that I am retiring from management." A stunned silence overtook the crowd, and Sucker simply continued. "Not just with the team; I'm also handing my advertising management agency over to my son, and I'll be following the World Cup from Calorborne. I'm simply getting too old for this... Charruteran referees, Ossidicquan assassins, something about an egg... the World Cup is a weird place, and the cycles I've spent wrapped up in it have drained a lot out of me. And as far as I'm concerned, I've gotten this ragtag group of criminals onto the world's most prestigious sporting stage, so I've accomplished the goal I set out with when I first approached Silveen about the possibility of forming a soccer team. It's simply time for me to take my leave. Goodbye, everyone, and good luck." The crowd applauded again as he left the stage, but was a bit more subdued this time, out of respect and out of shock.

"So... wait." John stared at the empty podium. "Who's our manager now?"

Korzado gave him another wack. "You are such a moron. It's... uh..." He looked over at Silveen, who had stayed at the side of the stage. "Who is the new manager?"

Silveen returned to the podium and unfolded a paper from his pocket. "I suppose it's time to talk about the 400-pound bear that's not in the room. Carnac," he nodded the 'redistribution manager' sitting nearby, "found an interesting connection: A former player and manager from Bears Armed looking to spend some time abroad. Her name is Morrgo-Gerrna, and I'm confident in her ability to take us back to the Cup. But you might want to watch yourselves around her; she hasn't spent much time outside of Bears Armed and is still acclimating to her new surroundings; let's do our best to help her get used to the wider world. So don't be quite as weird as you guys usually are, alright?" Chuckles came from around the room as Silveen folded the paper back into his pocket and disembarked the stage, the ambient noise rising as conversations restarted among the assorted criminal sportsmen.

[New Sideburn]

"Jesus," whispered Leila, in awe. "The place is baying for blood."
A crowd of 120,000 in New Sideburn's finest stadium. Many drunk, most with violent tendencies, two sides that utterly despised one another. Their lineup was much as expected, and their own... well, Stubbs was in to repel their aerial ability, and Brightley was in for Charmwell. Apart from that, same as ever. And as Saintland kicked off, it was the jade shirts who surged forward for the ball.

It was strange. Saintland seemed almost aimless, without direction. Maybe the overwhelmingly hostile crowd had something to do with it. Still, when Beardsley took control of possession in the fifth minute, he found himself easily able to run forward and smack it into the box with his weaker right foot, and Gerhard Thunder, who had drifted away from his marker, muscled past a defender and headed it in.

The crowd went wild, but if New Sideburn thought that was going to kill the game off then they were wrong. Saintland returned from their shellshock and began to truly play at the top of their game, and this was where the rough standard of play in the Isles of Serenes began to backfire. The referee, Karl Schauer from nearby Echidnation, largely waved play on as the teams began to attempt to shove each other off the field. Overall, this created a stalemate, and it was only in the 43rd minute when a long forward pass to Stephanus Vagionius lead to him chipping over a charging Stubbs. They entered the break level, 1-1.

Gethin surveyed his men, chewing on a nail. "What," he said at last, "in the name of the seven hells was that? You had 'em dead. You had their balls in a fucking vice, and you let them come back from it?"
Nobody dared breathe a word in protest. Gethin continued, "We can come back from this easily, but you've got to keep the pressure on. We can't afford to lose to those bastards on home turf! Get in there!" he roared.

And as the New Sideburn team came out of the dressing room refreshed, and glared at the beefy red-and-white shirts as they left in turn, the second half would be a thing of beauty. Almost.

As the action restarted, both sides were going far faster and with significantly more technique than before. Almost immediately, Alicia Scabbard was played straight through on goal, but she made a poor finish and Seius managed to palm the shot to safety. Soon after, a long throw-in from their wing-backs lead to a hammering 50|50 in the air, as S. Flaccus utterly pulverised Leila Corvette. This, given the nature of the two sides, lead to an altercation.
"She'll walk it off," taunted the midfielder. Clearly, this had sparked memories of the horror tackle that had started all of this off.
"Stand aside," growled Rook, who had a full half a foot on the other man. The physio came by. Leila was incoherently mumbling to herself, and he called on a stretcher. The numbers '22 | 13' flickered on the board, as the taller, sturdier Cathy Stokes pulled off her tracksuit and began hurriedly stretching.
"Bloody flattened the poor girl," said Lucia, with an air of menace.
"If she wanted to be treated like a lady, she should stay off the pitch," said the other Flaccus, airily, and Lucia turned on him with clenched fists. Fortunately, Strongnesse pulled her away just as the referee showed up, gave S. Flaccus a yellow and waved over Stubbs for the free kick.
The next goal was, fittingly, extremely scrappy. Anna Shrike scythed down the other Flaccus just outside the penalty area, and was cautioned. The direct free kick cannoned off the wall to Petrus Mamilius, who chipped it into the area. Asger Stubbs clambered over Cathy and P. Flaccus to punch it out somewhat weakly, Vagionius smashed the ball into the goalmouth only for Lukas Strongnesse to block it on the line with his chest, but Paulus Flaccus beat Strongnesse to the bounce to slide the ball in.
That awoke some of New Sideburn's warrior spirit, as 120,000 fans roared in support, a stadium that was a full fifth the population of Saintland. No wonder the enemy had been feeling the pressure early on. In their first attack after taking the ball back, Lucia hoofed the ball upfield, and once again Gerhard Thunder took control with his chest. Holding off three zealous defenders, he rolled the ball upfield to Grant Beardsley, who realigned himself to cross in with his favoured left foot. It swung in past the Saintland defence and to unmarked Dale Brightley, who stopped the ball on his first touch and volleyed it in on his second to score a spectacular goal. Saintland were stunned.
But not as stunned as they were in the 76th, when Cheney Rosewood was practically dragged to the ground by his marker. Lucia, at 30 yards out, coolly took stock of the situation, and shot straight into the underside of the upright. Seius was utterly helpless to respond as the ball bounced in, and New Sideburn had their winner. Utterly shellshocked, they lost their stake in the game, and the hosts dominated possession. Only heroics from Seius (and Cheney Rosewood slipping in the grass and missing an open goal) kept the game at 3-2.

The first Strongnesse Trophy remained in the hands of the man it was named after. Victory to New Sideburn.

[Powersith]

Powersith National Team Schedule Released and Predictions!

PSSN (Powersith Sports Network)

The list that the citizens of Powersith been waiting for, the schedule. Where and when will the national team be playing against their group mates. and so here it is:

1)Powersith vs Kaledor @ Imperial National Stadium
2)The Sova Empire vs Powersith @ Temple Dome
3)Powersith vs Hutt River @ Imperial National Stadium
4)Republic of Egpty vs Powersith @ Egpty
5)Powersith vs Barunia @ Imperial National Stadium
6) Powersith vs Nekoni @ Imperial National Stadium
7)Lalo Limahina vs Powersith @ Lalo Limahina
8 ) Powersith vs Karditan @ Imperial National Stadium
9) Taeshan vs Powersith @ Taeshan
10) Kaledor vs Powersith @ Kaledor
11) Powersith vs The Sova Empire @ Imperial National Stadium
12) Hutt River vs Powersith @ Hutt River
13) Powersith vs Republic of Egpty @ Imperial National Stadium
14) Barunia vs Powersith @ Northport Sports Complex
15) Nekoni vs Powersith @ Nekoni
16) Powersith vs Lalo Limahina @ Imperial National Stadium
17) Karditan vs Powersith @ Nyaryana Ngyrm Stadium
18) Powersith vs Taeshan @ Imperial National Stadium

There is lots of competition in this group, but there are many winnable games. Look for many draws.
Expert Predictions (W-D-L)
Victor Cabbage 9-4-5 (31 points)
Charlie Bordain 10-2-6 (32 Points)
Michael Bazmbo 10-5-3 (35 Points)
Kimmy Lane 8-6-4 (32 Points)

Check back later tonight, as we give you a report of the last practice before Powersith plays Kaledor tommorow. We will also interview star players Patrick Monroe and Leonardo Martinex
***

Individual Game tickets are now on sale! Order them online, or at your local ticket store! There is also the National Team travelers pass! It gives you tickets to every single game that the Powersith National Team plays in the World Cup! Buy yours now!

Sports stores are filled with Powersith team jerseys. Fans are showing their pride, wearing team jerseys, waving their flags, or just chanting Powersith on the streets. High hopes are kept. For tommorow's game vs Kaledor, all 100,000 seats will be filled at Imperial National Stadium. Many sports bars and restaurants will be filled as well. An estimated 940 million Powersith citizens will be watching the game either in stadium on television or live streaming. This will break the record of most sports related views since 810 million in the last World Cup qualifying opener. The fans believe that their team can make it to the World Cup Proper.

[Polar Islandstates]

"Okay, guys?" asked one man.

"Yes, boss!" shouted twenty-three men back.

"Right then, let's go." said the first man again, and the twenty-three set out to do as they were told.

Drills. Lots of them. Hard ones. Polarians were a naturally athletic bunch. They were taller, faster, stronger, and had more stamina than the average human being, and it was something they had always been thankful for in international competitions, whatever the sport. The history of Polarian football managers in particular had been known for utilising tactical plans that exploited this fitness later on in games, and Morten Rasmussen wasn't going to be the first one to buck that trend. Polarians could be fierce; one had only to look at the wars and crusades of the Old Valhallans to know that, and so Rasmussen had, at Steffan Pekarik's suggestion, sent them out to get riled. A four mile cross country jog in four teams should do the trick, with the added incentive being that any team who had a man last at any half-mile 'checkpoint' would be penalised by press-ups when they got back. Alexsandr van Sorensen, as captain, was acting as adjudicator, and Rasmussen was hoping they'd get competitive out there. With any luk, they'd come back angry and champing at the bit, ready for their technical drills after lunch after a cool-down.

In the mean-time, of course, that gave Rasmussen and Pekarik time to discuss their opponents, now they were known.

"So, Steffan," started Rasmussen, "Gaveo first?"

"Aye, aye," responded his assistant, and former club captain, "I mean, obviously I'll go away and dig up the notes we've got on them. Sure we've got some videos that Matteus Sigurdsson made a while back, too. Not sure how current they are, but that'll be my first port of call, anyway."

"Okay then, so, what do you think?" asked Rasmussen.

"Well, could have been worse from that pot, certainly..."

"But...?"

"But, they're still one of the weaker teams in the group, all told. They won't be the easiest place to visit in our first game, but, you know, if we were to fail to win then it would be seen as a major failure. Or one of a string of traditionally poor opening qualifying fixtures for the Terns."

"Ha!" Rasmussen laughed despite the jibe about the team he was now in charge of, "Aye, well, let's try and avoid that happening this time. We'll work hard on it in training. We have certain expectations, and so do the fans. We need to make sure they're aware of that."

"Indeed. So, anyway, then we play our first home game of the cycle against Phalnia."

"Who?" asked Rasmussen. "No offence, but, who?"

"Ha, didn't follow the Baptism this year then?" asked Pekarik.

"Well, in fairness, I was switching to a new job. Bit pre-occupied." said Rasmussen by way of explanation.

"True, well, the only debuted this cycle." said Pekarik, "they didn't exactly cover themselves in glory but they look like they have some potential. We'll need to mind our pees and queues, but it might be a chance to test some of the younger players out."

"Right you are. Now, the next ones, I know; Qazox, Berg, and the Dagans. That's our toughest trio of matches." ruminated Rasmussen. On the hillside opposite the training ground he could see a short sharp sprint occurring between the players. Clearly, there had been a half-mile sprint. He couldn't quite make out who had lost, but he was sure it would soon become apparent when the players got back.

"Indeed. Away, home, away. Not the easiest sequence of fixtures, but we've played Berg and Qazoc before, and we've got a decent record when all put together. So, if we play to the best of our ability, we should be okay. We'll need to stay focused though, it's a difficult run of fixtures."

"Indeed. And then Leorudo and Charruterra after it."

"Yeah, two of the up and coming teams, I think. I reckon one or two of them will have had a decent run of fixtures up until the time they play us.

"So, what you thinking," asked Rasmussen rhetorically, "we'll have to burst their bubbles?"

"We might have to if we're going to beat them, aye. THey'll be high on confidence if they've had good results."

"I agree. Let's not forget Audioslavia were high on confidence for a lot of last cycle despite us beating them twice in qualifying. They kept up there with the Terns all the way through and ended up winning the whole thing." said Pekarik, sagely.

"Aye, well, if we're sharing a qualifying group with the winner this time around it's going to have come from so far out of left-field you could call it communist."

"Ha, quite."

"So, after that?" asked Rasmussen.

"Erm, Catholican Catholica and Advenia. Minnows."

"Still, we'll need to respect them."

"Oh, of course. Second time around we'll need to be sending our strongest line-up out just to make sure of qualification. Unless, of course, it's already sealed, in which case we could be a bit more generous towards the youngsters on the bench."

"Yeah, I suppose. Here's hoping, right?"

"Well it won't be easy."said Pekarik.

"Not at all, no, but it's doable. We can do it." said Rasmussen firmly. "I haven't taken this job to be too dismissive of our chances. We're number four in the world, we ought to play like it and we'll be expected to qualify neatly and without too much of a struggle."

"We'll manage." said Pekarik.

"Yeah," said Rasmussen. "We will. I will. You will. We all will."

He watched the race on the opposite hillside as it went through another sprint. This time, he saw the loser quite clearly. Piotr Hemjann-Bezelhov was a goalkeeper, and so therefore not as fast or strong as the rest of the outfield players, and he had a really distinctive gait at full pace. He lost, and visibly stooped and cursed as he fought to catch up with the rest of the players as they slowed down following their exertions in the sprint.

The players were coming back, and Rasmussen thought about the group and the Terns' rank. Fourth. What a rank to inherit from the team before you. Fourth. There was a distinct gap between the Terns and the teams above them, mind, and Rasmussen was well aware that after The Babbage Islands, The Holy Empire, and Valanora, the Terns were very much running with the 'best of the rest' moniker this cycle. There wasn't even that much of a gap below them, either, with only ten ranking points separating fourth from nineteenth - the kind of range you'd normally expect once you got to the late twenties in the ranks, not the single digit contenders for the final piece of silverware.

He considered their chances. Not since they'd finished third had the Terns had a rank that actually put them in the top four in the multiverse. And, in fact, not since the time they'd finished third had the Terns reached the last four in the World Cup, either. It was becoming something of a monkey on their backs. And it was Rasmussen's job to fix that.

The setting sun in the Polarian springtime turned orange beneath the clouds, just above the horizon, catching Rasmussen in the face and silhouetting the approaching players in it's powerful rays. The sun may have been setting on one particular generation of Terns players, but it was Rasmussen's job to ensure the sun would rise after the longer Polarian night with another strong and fierce batch to enjoy a long Polarian summertime. The job would start when the players arrived back at camp; when the sun finally set.

---

TO: admin@asvf.net, info@dse.net
CC: p.krulsen@rausen.org, s.a.latvala@rausen.org
BCC: j.a.henreik@di.fedgov.pis
SUBJECT: Ekartera’al se Fuborii Vegai Statement of Interest

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BODY:
Dear Sir/Madam,

I do not normally write personally to potential clients in the process of job prospection. However, for a job as significant as the one you are advertising, I felt it not only polite, but necessary.

My name is Nikolas Rausen, and I am the third generation CEO of the Rausen engineering and contractor business that my grandfather set-up from a garage in the suburbs of Sibir all those years ago. We are a proud company, with a fine and strong tradition in all aspects of the construction industry, and we have a reputation in our Federation that is the envy of many. We sponsor football teams abroad already, but are also looking to expand our business abroad through more conventional means for a company like ours, and so it is with great excitement that I write to you in order to make a statement of our interest in your Ekartera’al se Fuborii Vegai project.

At Rausen, we have constructed many stadia, the most notable amongst them being the Axel Torvig Stadium expansion, and the Victoria Stadium in Jan Mayen, half set into the side of the volcano there. Additionally, we have also been responsible for the construction of the National Rugby Stadium in Franz Josef City, as well as the modern Uverdale Velde in our hometown of Sibir.

The design of the stadium atop the tower is a hugely exciting one, and one I would love to have the opportunity to build. At Rausen we have been co-engineer designers of the Ensign Tower in the capital, as well as the city hall in Surtsey, and have also got a great portfolio in our heavy engineering base - bridges, rigs, tunnels, and now high end retail and housing developments as well. You name it, Rausen has built it.

As you would expect for a company of our size and experience, we have our own in-house quantity surveyors, engineers, joinery workshop, experts in all building trades, and have an award-winning legal team to make the experience as painless as possible for all concerned.

We would leap at the chance to bid properly for this important and hugely significant contract in the Vegan national interest, and you have my word that we would approach the scheme with the respect and dignity the scale of the project demands. We would be greatly interested in putting together a full bid for you to look over, and so I humbly request the technical drawing tender pack for our architects and engineers to look over. We would then get back to you with quotes and timescales.

Regards,
Nikolas Rausen
CEO, Rausen
n.rausen@rausen.org

Nikolas Rausen finished the e-mail and smiled. It was some time since they'd had a football project at Rausen, and he really wasn't lying when he said he'd love the opportunity to go for this one. A stadium at the top of a tower. It was revolutionary, he could only imagine what it would be like to have Rausen's name attached to something like that. Even more importantly, it had been an awfully long time since he'd had this kind of energy and zip about a project. truth be told, he was losing interest, and with no heir to pass the family company down to, the shareholders were watching his levels of involvement closely. This would change all that.

He hit send, and was immediately alerted by the chime of his computer that an e-mail arrived. It was from one of the recipients of the e-mail he'd just sent, and presumably the timing indicated it was an out of office auto-reply.

He read the subject, and raised his eyebrows. It featured a word he hadn't seen or heard of for an awfully long time.

It certainly wasn't an auto-reply.

FROM: j.a.henreik@di.fedgov.pis
SUBJECT: The Superhub

He opened the e-mail...

[Powersith]

March 27, 2013
1 day before Opening match vs Kaledor
Imperial Capital City, Powersith

"Well security has been tighter lately, huh David?"
"Sure is William. It has to be, its World Cup qualifying, and we are in the middle of a war."

The Powersith National Team was traveling on the team bus back from the training grounds to team headquarters, where they would review tactics and study their opponent, Kaledor. The nation of Powersith was in a war called the Black Falcon War. A counter-terrorism effort to stop a group of terrorists and pirates dubbed the Black Falcons. It had taken a toll on the citizens of Powersith, as the nation had taken more security efforts, but the people still kept their hopes up. The World Cup Qualifying matches in Powersith was a test to the security forces to see if they would be able to handle the magnitude of a sporting event like this. They would be hosting the Coalition of Catholic States Regional Cup after the World Cup was over.

"Hope this bloody war would end. To many troops abroad, and they gotta watch games on television, instead of with their pals at the stadium."
"Same sir, We will play in honor of them."

"Aye, we will."
***
As the players walked in, they saw a bible verse on the board (Everyone on the National Team is Catholic, as Catholicism is the National Religion).

"Psalm 91, whats the meaning of it sir?"
"Well Patrick, it means have no fear as God is with you. That's how I want you to play tomorrow, no fear, God will protect you. Understood men?"
"Yes sir!"

For two hours, every staff member and player would study their tactics and prepare for everything as they await for tomorrow's match.

[Kinitaria]

The small town of Lokani is a peaceful community, located in the south-west of Kinitaria, a traditionally agricultural area of the country with a relaxed way of life. What it lacks in amenities for today's hassled consumer, it makes up for in fresh air, idyllic rural landscapes, and charming, hospitable locals. It also boasts its own football team, playing in the C-League, the third tier of the Kinitar pyramid, and the lowest nationwide level. Lokani United Football Club is not a team prone to expecting success, which is fortunate, because they weren't looking like getting any in the near future. In fact, they were hovering around the wrong end of their division, and with only a few weeks remaining in the season, an inevitable end to their time in the National League System looked likely.

By a sheer coincidence, it was matchday. More specifically, it was just under an hour prior to kick-off in Lokani United's home clash with Olimpia Mi'ato, one of the third tier's strongest teams, and a side who looked destined for promotion. Lokani never attracted a crowd of more than 6,000 or so (on a good day), and three of that number were currently gathered in a distinctly unremarkable terraced house located roughly five minutes' walk from Parc Alultorii, United's ground. They were drinking cans of something alcoholic and talking about nothing in particular, as seemed to be a traditional pre-match ritual for many football fans around Kinitaria.

"Hey, either of you heard of that new League Manager game?" asked the oldest of the trio, a short, stocky, balding male named Milo. This was met with bemused shrugs, so he reached over to his computer and, with a few clicks, opened up the program. "It's actually quite addictive, you basically take the job of a manager at any football team in the world-"

"Why'd you choose City, then?" interrupted Dejan, who had a habit of doing that sort of thing and may have been a little drunk already. Mi'ato City, being the champions, one of Kinitaria's most successful clubs and traditional big spenders, had earned themselves a great deal of hostility from clubs further down Kinitaria's league pyramid. Sure enough, the Mi'ato City squad was currently displayed on the screen. Only... it wasn't quite the Mi'ato City squad.

With apologies to the world's higher-ranking nations.

"And how have you got players like that at City anyway?" Dejan continued. Sure enough, some of the finest players in Kinitaria and the world now populated the ranks of the Mi'ato City team, in all their virtual glory.

"Well, if you do well, you get money - league prizes, competition prizes, TV money and so on," began the explanation. "Then you use it to buy more players and make your team better. You've got to find the right tactics as well. It's worth getting."

"And you're good at this, are you?"

"Yeah, not bad. I wouldn't mind having a go at being a real manager, couldn't be much worse than what we have to put up with already."

"Alright," interrupted Tomas, the third of the trio, who could sense a disagreement coming. "Time's getting on, we should be getting to the match by now."

With murmured agreement, they filed out of the house - which belonged to Milo - and began the short walk through the estate, situated in the middle of which was the 14,500-seater Parc Alultorii, resplendent in its diminutive stature. This was definitely not a stadium for the claustrophobic. The three friends made their way in - not particularly encumbered by any long queues at turnstiles - and took up their place on the terraces. It was still some time before kick-off, and both teams were out on the pitch, making use of the time they had before the game to warm up. Albin Lemucov, Lokani United's key striker, was there, going through the paces - a welcome relief for the United fans because of an injury scare picked up in the previous game. If they were poor with him... well, the alternative didn't bear thinking about.

Eventually, the players made their way back inside, the pitch was cleared of any debris (best they could do for it, really - "hallowed turf" wasn't really so fitting a description as "hallowed mud") and kick-off time loomed ever closer. Then, the (admittedly crackly) music from the PA and an impressive roar from the small crowd as the players made their way out onto the field - Lokani in their green and white stripes, Olimpia in their all-white with red trim.

"Welcome to Parc Alultorii!" bellowed the PA, although hardly anyone could make out what it was saying. "Welcome to this afternoon's match in the C-League between Lokani United and Olimpia Mi'ato! Let's run through the teams for you!" It transpired that Lokani were playing the strongest team they had, although this wasn't necessarily a strong team. With the threat of relegation looming, some fans were thinking, and a few good players out there, they could produce a fantastic effort to topple the league leaders and haul themselves out of trouble. Other fans were resigned to their fate, and called such thoughts pure optimism.

The course of the game became clear within thirty-six seconds. That's how long it took for Olimpia to breach the Lokani defence. A simple ball through the centre was enough to split the home side wide open, and an attacker was running onto the pass to tuck it home. The 1,000 or so travelling Olimpia fans were jubilant, but the scoreline wouldn't stay that way for long. No, just five minutes later, Lokani defender Mikhail Lovirič rose highest to send a corner into the back of the net. Shame it was his own net. 0-2.

By half-time, Lokani had given away three further very cheap goals, and the mood around the Alultorii was growing openly hostile. The players - and manager Paolo Ivorev - traipsed off to a furious barrage of abuse. This, needless to say, was not a fantastic confidence booster. It's uncertain what anyone could have done in that dressing room to turn this game around, and so when the teams re-emerged for the second period, there were very few home fans remaining who saw any reason to be optimistic. On reflection, this was probably sensible, given that Lokani managed one shot throughout the 90 minutes and came away with a crushing 0-7 defeat.

The trio of friends made the short walk back to their own homes in near-silence. They would rather not have been talking about football at that point. The last thing Dejan said to Milo before they separated for the evening was, "I want that f***er out of our club before he takes us down. F***, you'd make a better manager than that, with your game thing."

A couple of hours later, the local sports news carried a very interesting - and relieving - lead story for Lokani fans. "Lokani United manager Paolo Ivorev has been sacked by the club's board following a poor string of results which have left the club stranded in the C-League relegation zone..."

Thinking back to earlier, and taking a seat at his computer, Milo couldn't help wondering...

[Equestrian States]

Author's Note

As a Professor of Athletic Studies at the University of Canterlot, I teach many young sapients about the history, types, and playing of sports both here in the Equestrian States and abroad. However, I have found that there are many foreigners who still do not understand how an earth pony can hold a baseball bat or how a pegasus blocks a shot in a hoofball match. To them, the action just happens without explanation. Some, the majority in fact, simply accept this as another bizarre event that takes place in a nation, which (according to some) itself is an anomaly in the world.

Others are not satisfied by the simplistic way of explaining things that many Equestrian sports fans have adopted over the years. They press on, demanding answers for questions which no simple sports-loving Equestrian can handle without considerable research and time.

Thus, I have assembled the collection of essays which are contained in this book. Specifically, this book will deal with hoofball (or association football as the majority of the outside world calls the sport), why it is popular in the Equestrian States, how sapient equines (more commonly referred to as ponies) have advantages and disadvantages against humanoid opponents, and how the playing of the game is different in my homeland than it is in the rest of the world. Hopefully by the end of the book, at least some of your questions will be answered, my dear inquisitive readers.

Dr. Bookmark
Professor of Athletics, University of Canterlot

How Ponies Play: Hoofball

[Sicoutimont]

Royales Defeat Slembana, Khytenna, Prepare for World Cup MD1

The first game was a bit more difficult then the next, a suprise considering Khytenna's close rank to Sicoutimont. But nonetheless, we start in Pierre Beach, were the fans packed the stadium to see Sicoutimont take on Slembana. The game began with a welcoming of Sicoutian manager of Slembana Luc Gaudreau, who was promptly booed. "That's a disgrace to Sicoutimont, right there. This man decided to chase his dream of becoming head manager, and you all boo him. Shame on them," was what Marc Denis said. But the game began anyways. Val Kylx was put in early for the Slembanans, who pressured hard early. Goalie Herbert Georges made what will probably be his last Sicoutian start: he plans to retire from football just before World Cup 65. Georges made a key save early on, robbing Yuppe Tarnix of a sure goal. Kylx would hit the post in the 16th minute on a corner kick header, which gave Les Royales the ball. Georges passed to Neal Kent, who has been very good recently, with 2 goals so far in friendly season. Kent put it up ahead to Georges Allonts, but that was broken up by a tired Kylx, who rebounded to attempt for a long goal that was stopped by Georges. The first half would end this way, with the game going back and forth with steller keeping at each side. Girard Giroux would end this in the 52nd minute, with a pass to substiuted midfield Maxime Elemancuer, who converted for his first goal of the game. Chants of "Gaudreau, Gaudreau, Gaudreau" began to erupt in the 80th minute. These were probably more directed to the fact Gaudreau was assistant manager of Lac-Drouin St-Pierre, rival of the local side FC Pierre Beach then his choice to go to Slembana to manage, but Marc Denis, Girard Giroux and Herbert Georges were not amused, all giving interviews similar to Denis'. The game was then winding down, and when Girard Giroux came off for Stan Sarault in the 83rd minute, the game was very much so done, with Sicoutimont playing an easy 1 striker, 4 mid, and 6 defensive mids or defensemen. Slembana tried desperately to even the match, but it was to avail, as Les Royales escaped with a 1-0 victory.

Friendly Match
@ Stade Pierre-Beach/SportCity, Pierre Beach, Sicoutimont
Sicoutimont 1--------Slembana 0
Elemancuer 52'

A few days later, it was time for game 2, against Khytenna. This would be Sicoutimont's last friendly before the World Cup, and the result shows a team in top shape. At Stade St-Pierre in Lac-Drouin for the match, Les Royales put on a show for the fans, going up 2-0 after the first half, and scoring 2 more to make the final 4-0. The scoreline is decieving, however. Equal opportunities were abound for each side, but for Khytenna the goalkeeping wasn't were it should be. Artyom Bergeron made 13 saves for a clean sheet, following up on Herbert Georges' clean sheet against Slembana. The action began at the 13th minute, with Girard Giroux scoring to put Les Royales up. Georges Allonts would follow this in the 34th, making Les Royales the leaders by 2 at the 45+2 halftime break. The second began much more close, with Khytenna dominating the play. But Giroux broke away, and feeding Christopher Savard for a goal in the 68th was his second assist of the game. What a career so far for the kid from St-Simeon who almost didn't make the Sicoutian roster for Copa Rushmori X, who then proved himself by scoring 8 goals, leading Sicoutimont to a 3rd-place finish. Back to this match, Neal Kent would score his third in the 77th to make the final score 4-0.

Friendly Match
@ Stade St-Pierre, Lac-Drouin, Sicoutimont
Sicoutimont 4--------Khytenna 0
Giroux 13'
Allonts 34'
Savard 68'
Kent 77'

Royales Face Tough Challenge Against Northern Sunrise Islands
The opening game of the World Cup qualifiers goes next week as Les Royales take on Northern Sunrise Islands, the game being in NSI. Girard Giroux and Co. come off a 4-1 Friendly season, with the one loss being to groupmate Maklohi Vai in the Des Monts Ila Vai Cup. But NSI are a tough challenge, ranked a bit below Sicoutimont in the rankings. Francisco de Sousa and Larissa Pereira are the starting strikers for the Marills, and will put up a challenge to starting keeper Pier-Luc Dion. All in all, it should be a good match. Watch your Royales in action next week, and check your weekly "The Lac-Drouin Times" for Royales results.

[Wight]

Matchday One Results

Further matchdays will include the daily round of voluntary writing challenges, posted in this thread.

[Camerania]

Looks like we missed the cutoff (Margaret...) but I'll post anyway.

(OOC: All roleplays will be posted in both Cameranian and English, reports will not be a direct translation, but will cover the same points.)
Repyat av Karl Smetsɨn

Vikyoma tā dɨn furšet repyat I Kameranɨn ov Vyorariks Kop 64 pá Kameranɨn Vyoblik Televɨsen, Ya har Smetsɨn. Kameranya hart ot dá Vyorariks Kop 61, yʉt har bek vʉr ānɨk láp. Vi har vyoret it hyom kor sia vɨn gʉr dʉar vyá. Dyen síkel har bis ha et mina, dá dɨn Štidaren Komʉnɨsts hart toraren hyort dá dāen syast láp. Loraren dɨn gʉr har kāf Frār Bestɨn, ant Kyeptɨn Erɨk Yohansɨn, dɨn Štidaren Komʉnists har bis ha vyáer oɨn byenk. Vɨn furšet myok har kantra Westros, en gʉr vi har nit pyelart. Vi har tyetaren vʉrat tā dɨn kyans ov viktori, en tink dyat vi har nit siart dá Vyorariks Kop 60, foršɨm vi gʉart mitot en enka vikta i Vyorrariks Kop 61. Har bis hoa vʉr dɨn Štidaren Komʉnɨsts, ant štáar ovstamart vʉr miven repyats intor dɨn vʉka vʉryetem repyats i Ænklɨš.

Report by Barry Norman

Good evening, and welcome to Cameranian Public Television’s first English broadcast of World Cup 64, I’m Barry Norman. Camerania is back for its firt World Cup qualifying run since World Cup 61. On the home front, many fans are very excited to see just how well our team will do this time around. The Fightin’ Commies have been training very hard over their three-cycle hiatus, having gone winless in their last run. We’re looking very much forward to getting a renewed taste of victory, and we know we’ll go far this time. Be sure to stay tuned to KVT for more updates as things start to heat up throughout the week. Also be sure to tune in early for the Cameranian reports, which proceed the English ones. Until next time, I’m Barry Norman, keeping you posted.

[Astograth]

((OOC: None of this is, of course, meant to be taken seriously. Setting credits to Audio.))

From the Archives of RL Sports

In the deepest, darkest corners of the Internet there lies a website dedicated to simulating the running of whole countries, an "online political simulation game that lets you build and rule your own nation". It is called RLStates; large and varied, it spans numerous on- and off-site forums that go above and beyond the game's scope. One of these, comparatively small but vibrant, is the one dedicated to sports. Its most important event is naturally the association football World Cup - while they prepare for edition 20, why not go over the previous ones?

World Cup 13

Colombia: Guys... I'm really sorry, but due to personal issues I won't be able to host WC13. Thanks for trusting me to host in the first place despite being the only bid. I hope this isn't a big problem.

Brazil: Worry not, Colombia. We're all here for you. Meanwhile, bidding is now open. As a reminder, only FIFA Executive Committee members are allowed to vote.

America: As good a time as any to vote for FREEDOM.

Mexico: Let's make this World Cup a CONCAClassy one

Canada:
>_>


<_<



¯\_(ツ)_/¯

America: Canada. What... what are you doing?

Canada: Hey, it's not like I've never hosted anything.

America: You've never even played a World Cup. I bet you don't even know the offside sacking run rule or where the bonus box is.

Canada: Can't hear you over my CONCACAF championship.

America: Pfft, doesn't matter. This thing would be between me and Mexico if he hadn't hosted already - and only 4 Cups ago. Nobody hosts twice, might as well not even vote.

Brazil: Results are in

Mexico:

America: "Unanimous"? What kind of number is "unanimous"? What Old Boys BS is this?

England: You lost a plainly democratic process, mate, no point in whining

---

Wales: Scotland... did the excitement just kill your manager?!

Scotland: I really wanted this Ferguson fellow to manage the finals.

Wales: Jesus, mate.

Scotland: Nah, can't be having a Brazilian manager. Anyway, bring on the Aussies! Slayers of New Zealand... and Taiwan... and Israel. Sort that out, FIFA, seriously.

Israel: If this keeps up I fully expect to be tossed around the Americas in the near future.

Australia: Yeh mate if olny there was a naerby continetnal federation thta didnt hate your guts. HINT

France: Africa said no already, Oz :/

---

Scotland: I told you this was the group of death. Germany through because they're Germany, Uruguay through with just two points and lol Denmark won't ever win anything and they're top of the group.

England: I'll still take Ferguson, if you like

Scotland: Yeah yeah, you can have him when I'm through

Canada: This is like golf, guys, right? Fewer points is better?

France: Non

Canada: Well, shit

Northern Ireland: ^ this

Hungary: You know, in MY day, victory was through good RPing and ridiculous godmoding. Seriously disappointed to see this trend decline in recent World Cups, I'm not even mad to be out of such a soulless competition. So long.

Mexico: Well, I'm glad some people are still enjoying themselves. What do you think of the next round - anybody looking forward to Argentina vs Uruguay and Italy vs France?

Uruguay:

Argentina 1 – 0 Uruguay

((OOC: I WAS. I'll be in the corner hugging my 12 Copas América))

Soviet Socialist Republics:

USSR 2 – 2 Belgium (3–4 AET)

And I'll be hugging my 12,000 nuclear warheads D:<

Mexico:

Quarterfinals
Brazil 1 – 1 France (1-1 AET, 3-4 pen.)
Argentina 2 - 0 England
Spain 1 - 1 Belgium (1-1 AET, 4-5 pen.)

I'll admit this was a bizarre series to scorinate. As usual, Sweden to scorinate my quarterfinal.

Germany:

West Germany 0 - 0 Mexico (0-0 AET, 4-1 pen.)

läwls

England: I'm sorry for my latest post, Argentina, but your RP permissions are very flexible. I'd say it isn't personal... but it definitely is lol

Argentina: That's funny, yours were too

England: u wot m8

Germany:

Semifinals
France 0 - 2 West Germany
Argentina 2 - 0 Belgium

Third Place Match: France vs Belgium @ Estadio Cuauhtémoc, Puebla
World Cup Final: Argentina vs West Germany @ Estadio Azteca, Mexico City

I had a feeling it could only end like this. See you at the Azteca, looking forward to Rummennigge and Völler against Valdano and Maradona.

Argentina: Likewise.

Sweden: So civil :')

Germany:

WORLD CUP FINAL
Estadio Azteca, Mexico City
Argentina 3 - 2 West Germany

** **** *** *** *****
Edited by Sweden: language

Argentina: Likewise

[Jedi8246]

Theme
Fenris Sports Corner

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is Logan Dale as always brining you the best in Jedi8246's sporting news with the Fenris Corner. It's time to fasten your seatbelts as we take you through our famous breakdown of the upcoming Jedi8246 World Cup 64 run. Yes the wait is over. A new season and attempt to glory is here. With Donald Hemlock and several players retiring, this will be the year for glory to come. Let us take a look at our competition.

Group 19

Jedi8246
Bearded Moose
Kericia
Silver Beach
The Archregimancy
Secundus Kasius
Timfen
Michael VII
Ko-oren
Democratic States of Fenbar

Time to break it all down for you.

---

Bearded Moose
The Bearded Moose is one of the newer teams to enter into the World Cup scene. Currently tied at 200th in the world with many other teams and holding a point total of 1.88, the Bearded Moose team plays a similar style and formation as the Wyverns. They were fourth in the Baptism of Fire, showing that they aren't to be taken lightly. This young team will be one to watch for this year and and coming years. However at least one win is expected and one tie. A loss would be very unlikely.

---

Kericia
This team is not unknown to Jedi8246. The Wyverns were in a group with them last year in their rookie season. The team was far from impressive. In fact, they were flat out awful. Putting up only two wins, the Kericia team is a punching bag for almost every team out there. Coach Hemlock knows their play style well enough that he predicts at least one shutout is likely. Two wins is beyond a given here and even a tie should be a cause for concern. They are ranked 246th with 1.11 points.

---

Silver Beach
Yet another one of the newer teams to hop aboard the World Cup train. Unranked and untested against any teams internationally, they are not expected to pose much of a threat to anyone except maybe Kericia. They did not even compete in the Baptism of Fire. The team will give up two wins to the Wyverns.

---

The Archregimancy
A collective gasp probably went out across the nation when they saw this name. Though by far not the first high ranking team the Wyverns have gone up against, they are perhaps the most feared by the Wyverns. Coach Hemlock has seen the team tear apart it's competition many times. They've qualified for the past two years and are ranked 8th in the world. They have a grand sum of 35.32 points and have earned every one of them. The team made up entirely of monks do indeed seem to get their power from God. Yet the Wyverns are not against impossible odds. Coach Hemlock feels that two losses are not guaranteed at all. They will be the greatest challenge of the season, yet we predict that a loss and tie will likely result. Hopefully.

---

Secundus Kasius
Nowhere near as imposing as the Archregimancy, this team is also not just someone to brush off lightly. They are a talented squad if not a complete one. The are currently ranked 117 with 5.97 points. Coach Hemlock respects them as a team and will prepare as such. Two wins are expected, though they will not be easy by any means.

---

Timfen
They are exactly 19 spots beyond our nation at 90th in the world. They have a sum of 9.25 points. Timfen may be a slightly greater threat than Secundus Kasius, but Hemlock feels more confident playing against them. Their style is predictable though effective. They finished 7th in their group last year with a 7-3-8 record. Their style allowed many games to become ties where other teams might have let them become losses. It is because of this that a win and tie are expected instead of two wins.

---

Michael VII
Blegh. While certainly not the great Archregimancy, this time is still one of squads that everyone needs to watch out. They are skilled and ranked 43rd in the world with 18.75 points. The matches against this team will probably be the most important for qualification. They will be in direct competition with Jedi8246 for the second spot and wins are important to have. A win and a loss are expected, though this projection probably means nothing.

---

Ko-oren
Ko-oren. Jedi8246 respects the nation and team. They were part of the Wyvern's first ever World Cup team. Ko-oren has climbed up in the world rankings in the years since and now stand higher than the Wyverns now at 50 with 17.43 points. They are the third and final true threat in this group. Archregimancy will almost certainly get the first spot leaving second spot between Ko-oren, Michael VII, and the Wyverns. Our team will need to win at least once against Ko-oren to qualify. A win and a tie are the projection and hope. Coach Hemlock feels he can beat this team if his plans click correctly.

---

Democratic States of Fenbar
This team is frankly a pathetic sort. They are lowest ranking team in this group with .5 points and a ranking of 313. Fenbar will compete for the bottom with Kericia. The Wyverns should take two wins from this team with no problem. Two shutouts could be a possibility.

---

Projected Final Record: 12-2-4
Perhaps a two loss season is an overambitious projection from our studio, yet not unfounded. The Wyverns have proven themselves capable of drawing and even beating some of toughest teams in world. This record should be enough to help us qualify, though nothing is a given with such stiff competition. Coach Hemlock's final year as coach looks to be an exciting one and the nation as a whole will be behind his final run at a championship.

Schedule
Game 1:Jedi8246@ Ko-oren
Game 2:Jedi8246@Democratic States of Fenbar
Game 3:Bearded Moose@Jedi8246
Game 4:Jedi8246@Kericia
Game 5:Silver Beach@Jedi8246
Game 6:Jedi8246@The Archregimancy
Game 7:Secundus Kasius@Jedi8246
Game 8:Jedi8246@Timfen
Game 9:Michael VII@Jedi8246
Game 10:Ko-oren@Jedi8246
Game 11:Democratic States of Fenbar@Jedi8246
Game 12:Jedi8246@Bearded Moose
Game 13:Kericia@Jedi8246
Game 14:Jedi8246@Silver Beach
Game 15:The Archregimancy@Jedi8246
Game 16:Jedi8246@Secundus Kasius
Game 17:Timfen@Jedi8246
Game 18:Jedi8246@ Michael VII

A quick look at our schedule tells us that the second half of the season will be slightly easier than the first half if only because of one more home game and the home games being against the tougher teams. The first half will be the strongest determining factor as to whether the Wyverns have a legitimate shot. We will be tested early as our first game is against Ko-oren. If the Wyverns manage to get a win or draw, the next four games will be easy wins. It's time to make a statement against Ko-oren. We'll bring you more news after the break.

[Lymantatia]

(OOC: We missed the cutoff an hour ago, but I'll post anyways.)
Life About Charles Garcia
As Lorenzo Martinez is the wife of Princess Anne of Lymantatia, he has left the football team to focus on his royal life. Now there's a new person who will be in the team and replacing Lorenzo. His name is Charles Garcia.
Name: Charles Robert Garcia
Born: January 19, 1982
Place of Birth: Elizabethville, Northridge, Englesberry, Lymantatia
Spouse: Elizabeth Meyers (married in 2010)
Parents: Nicholas Garcia (1955-) and Mary Bauer (1956-)
Siblings: Nicholas Jr. (1979-), John (1985-), Mary (1987-), William (1990-) and Alice (1994-).
Rank for Group 6
Osarius
Sargossa
Equestrian States
Lymantatia
Bongo Johnson
Cowardly Pacifists
The Gypsies
The Monopoly
Mitumba
United Provinces of Atlantica
Information on the Home Games (The Rank for Group 6 Thing has been used to determine the pattern for the home game stadia)
The home game against Osarius will be at Laurentia Stadium.
The home game against Sargossa will be at Connorstown Stadium.
The home game against Equestrian States will be at Laurentia Stadium.
The home game against Bongo Johnson will be at Connorstown Stadium.
The home game against Cowardly Pacifists will be at Laurentia Stadium.
The home game against The Gypsies will be at Connorstown Stadium.
The home game against The Monopoly will be at Laurentia Stadium.
The home game against Mitumba will be at Connorstown Stadium.
The home game against United Provinces of Atlantica will be at Laurentia Stadium.
Prediction for World Cup 64
Qualifying 1st Place: The Holy Empire, Audioslavia, Bears Armed, Valladares, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, Osarius, Starblaydia, Karditan, Mytannion, Eura, Saugeais, Licentiapacisterra, Valanora, Vilita, Jeruselem, Qazox, The Babbage Islands, Jeru FC, The Archregimancy
Qualifying 2nd Place: Yesopalitha, Polar Islandstates, Astograth
Playoff Qualification: Kiryu-shi, Farfadillis, Gyatso-kai, The Sylvanaes Queendom, Pasarga, Kinitaria, Turori, United Gordonopia
Playoff Elimination: Michael VII, Western Cuba, Kulverint, Milchama, Sargossa, Taeshan, Legalese, West Angola
Qualifying Nations: The Holy Empire, Audioslavia, Bears Armed, Valladares, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, Osarius, Starblaydia, Karditan, Mytannion, Eura, Saugeais, Licentiapacisterra, Valanora, Vilita, Jeruselem, Qazox, The Babbage Islands, Jeru FC, The Archregimancy, Yesopalitha, Polar Islandstates, Astograth, Kiryu-shi, Farfadillis, Gyatso-kai, The Sylvanaes Queendom, Pasarga, Kinitaria, Turori, United Gordonopia, New Montreal States, Wight
Eliminated In Group Stage: Bears Armed, Valladares, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, Osarius, Karditan, Mytannion, Saugeais, Licentiapacisterra, Qazox, Jeru FC, Astograth, Kiryu-shi, Gyatso-kai, Pasarga, Kinitaria, Turori
Eliminated In Round of 16: The Holy Empire, Starblaydia, Valanora, Jeruselem, The Archregimancy, Farfadillis, The Sylvanaes Queendom, New Montreal States
Eliminated In Quarterfinals: Eura, The Babbage Islands, Yesopalitha, United Gordonopia
4th place: Wight
3rd place: Polar Islandstates
2nd place: Vilita
1st place: Audioslavia

[West Angola]

NAMIBE CHRONICLE

MATCH PREVIEW: (#40) WEST ANGOLA VS. (UR) ALEXANDERBURN

West Angola opens play against the group's bottom seed: unranked Alexanderburn. This match is a crucial tune-up for West Angola, who needs to get off to a good start and win the early matches, the schedule only gets tougher as they go along. Opening in front of the home crowd in Namibe will be a much-needed boost for this team as they seek to claim what should be an easy three points. Coach Phillip Garren inserted a bit of intrigue into this match when he suggested that star forward Luke Parrish might not play for "personal reasons," but declined to cite just what sort of personal issues Parrish might be having. Several analysts have speculated that Parrish's marriage might be having some early difficulties, while others have suggested that Parrish's age-regression drugs have begun to fail him.

West Angola:

West Angola:

World Rank: 40

Previous Appearances:
Baptism of Fire 45: 3-1-1, 3rd in Group
World Cup 58: 4-4-8 in Qualifying Stage, 7th in Group
World Cup 59: 5-2-5 in Qualifying Stage, 5th in Group
World Cup 60: 8-1-5 in Qualifying Stage, 3rd in Group
World Cup 61: 5-4-6 in Qualifying Stage, 4th in Group
World Cup 62: 9-1-4 in Qualifying Stage, 3rd in Group
World Cup 63: 8-8-2 in Qualifying Stage, 3rd in Group
Cup of Harmony 50: 1-1-1, 3rd in Group
Cup of Harmony 51: 0-1-2, 4th in Group
Cup of Harmony 53: 2-1-0, 1st in Group, Lost in Round of 16 to The Archregimancy 0-1
Cup of Harmony 54: 2-2-0, 1st in Group, Lost in Round of 16 to Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 0-2
Cup of Harmony 55: 3-0-1, 2nd in Group, Lost in Championship to Legalese 1-1, 1-1, 2-0

Alexanderburn:

World Rank: Unranked

Previous Appearances:
Baptism of Fire 43: 2-1-2, 3rd in Group, Lost to Darmen 0-2 in Round of 16
World Cup 56: 1-5-8 in Qualifying Stage, 8th in Group
World Cup 60: 6-5-3 in Qualifying Stage, 4th in Group

Our Analysis: Alexanderburn is an older team than West Angola, but their success has been hamstrung by sporadic attendance. If the Alexanderburn that stunned the world in World Cup 60 shows up, West Angola could be in deep trouble, but if that manic burst of energy fails to return, West Angola should cruise to a key win in their first match.
Our Prediction: West Angola 4, Alexanderburn 2

Group Three:
1. Romantique Belle Vie (324)
2. Liventia (84)
3. West Angola (40)
4. West Zirconia (86)
5. Bears Armed (7)
6. Alexanderburn (UR)
7. Runimia (268)
8. Kartvelistan (199)
9. Ossidiacqua (53)
10. Ancharmunn (128)

[Jeruselem]

Jeruselem coach Michelle Salad and Princess Katy

Katy: Hello, this is Princess Katy for Naked News Jeruselem. We're at Dazza Dallas Stadium. I'm with Michelle Salad to talk about today's game.
Michelle: Oh hey everyone out there
Katy: First game of this cup and well, 3 points
Michelle: We need all the points we can get Katy
Katy: Maklohi Vai, put up a fight but Princesses rule again
Michelle: We expect to win at home, really.

Katy: How would you rate today's performance?
Michelle: Average, we can do a lot better
Katy: Average bad or average good
Michelle: Average good
Katy: In other results, Northern Sunrise Islands beat New Sideburn 2-0
Michelle: Funny name new sideburn

Katy: Basque Socialist States beat Kinzar 3-2
Michelle: Really got no idea about those two teams
Katy: Rikatan beat Sicoutimont 3-2
Michelle: Once again no idea
Katy: AND Yesopalitha beat Yelvoldia 1-0 in the battle of Ys
Michelle: Very long names them Y teams

Katy: I have to practice a lot with them names
Michelle: I wouldn't cope
Katy: Well, no draws and lots of wins. A good start for the winners
Michelle: Good thing we won too then
Katy: Yes, draws suck.
Michelle: I guess we must keep winning

Katy: Me too
Michelle: If this is normal for this cup, we can't afford to lose many games
Katy: Now to Group 18, where the girls are.
Michelle: Oh, the Jeru FC girls
Katy: They are more women these days due to age, but ...
Michelle: They sure aren't young now

Katy: Free South Califas beat Schmiegelland 1-0. New West Guiana beat Perinpanland 2-1
Michelle: Never really heard of those teams except Free South Califas
Katy: Euskirribakondara beat Secuelas 4-1 and Mesoland beat Sprool 4-0
Michelle: Some good wins there.
Katy: AND Milchama beat Jeru FC 2-1
Michelle: Shocker there

Katy: Not really, based on ranks
Michelle: We need our girls to fire up and qualify
Katy: Milchama are a quality team
Michelle: I guess things should easier with that game out of the way
Katy: I hope it is, a loss to the Warrior is not shame
Michelle: It's early, I'm sure the girls can recover

Katy: We're better hope so
Michelle: Well, we can't do much from here

[Qazox]

The new look Eagles held their own against Polar Islandstates as the match ended in a 1-all draw. A scheduling hiccup led us to believe that the opener would be against Bergnovinaia, but luckily since both matches were scheduled for Qazian Memorial Stadium; not much, other than having to reissue corrected tickets, had to be changed.

But for the first 65 minutes, Qazox struggled to keep pace with the better conditioned Terns. In the 19th minute,  Diedrich Kvitchenko slapped home the first goal, and nearly added a second in both the 33rd and 54th minutes. But as the game grew longer, Qazox' slight speed advantage allowed them to get progressively deeper runs into the Terns' defensive quarter.

In the 74th minute, Jesse Hilton squeezed through and banked a shot off the near post to tie the game up at 1. But Qazox could'nt keep Polar Islandstates out of their own end, and it took 2 great saves from Holly Wood to preserve the draw.

STATS
Possession
PIS 58.7%
QZX 41.3%

Shots
PIS 18
QZX 8

On goal
PIS 7
QZX 3

Corners
PIS 6
QZX 3

Fouls
PIS 21
QZX 20

Cards: None
Attendence: 100,167
Referee: Tim Kingsblood (Westros)

[New Sideburn]

Wasted Chances
Chase Wingett ran like his life depended on it. An 83rd minute substitute when it became evident that whipping crosses into Gerhard Thunder was the only way of clawing back a point by that stage, he'd played his heart out, but this was only his third touch of the ball. New Sideburn had been dominated in possession all game.
But he had it now, though. Oh yes. And there was Gerd...
The cross whipped in somewhat inexpertly, and through a massive effort Gerd latched onto the end of it. However, pressure from di Martine pressed him off-balance, and the shot was sliced just wide of the goal.
The whistle blew to signal the end... NSI 2-0 NSB.
Defeat.

Unexpected Tolerance
"We were outplayed, plain and simple," said Gethin, blandly. This amazed most of the team, who were expecting a right bollocking for their performance. But Gethin went on in a decidedly non-violent fashion.
"You didn't do great," he admitted. "Wasn't your best game, but they were playing really well, and at the end of the day they're just more technically gifted than we were. Portia, you spilled an unlucky bounce to give them the first goal, but you came right close on the second. Defenders, you did a good job of denying them chances. We could've scalped it, 1-0 or 1-1... but we didn't. And that's alright. The last-minute schedule change didn't help, either... at any rate, there's a good chance we'll get 'em next time."
He nodded, and waved them out. Almost confused at the lack of violence, the team slowly left the changing room, to almost immediately discuss the match over a few drinks.
When the last of them had gone, Gethin sat down heavily on a bench and lit a cigar. "Idiots," he muttered.

[United Gordonopia]

ooc: Host Note - This and my last RP are a continuation of the story arc that I began back in World Cup 61 qualification, and continued on a smaller level into cup 62 qual and the cup proper of 63. I intend to play this out at least through qualification. Just for clarity's sake, Norm Bates is a former National Team captain and starting Attacking Midfielder. I'll try to get together a library of all of the posts. Don't worry, it'll eventually tie in directly with the current cycle.

---

"Blessed be the Lord my strength which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight"
Psalm 144:1

Were they angels of the Lord, or ghosts cast out from hell? To a passive observer, it was a difficult call. Hell, from more than a few meters away one would be hard pressed to even make out the white-clad figures gliding through the blizzard with unwavering resolve. As they trekked across a thin cat track, all ten on skis, the whipping snow and ice camouflaged the men perfectly. Even without their snow jumpsuits they would have been a challenge for the most eagle-eyed observer.

The lead man, though, knew that their mission came from above in every sense of the word. For starters, the Emperor himself had seen them off just before the small squad departed Deska for these frozen cliffs. Then of course there was their divine purpose. In the fifteen years since the end of the War of Restoration, the defeated Republicans had been a crown of thorns. Bombings, militant attacks, riots against embassies, and of course old-fashioned political dissent. Finally, the last holdouts from the old regime had been exiled to the remote Mount Ilnaka. The terror that had prevented peace and harmony in Gordonopia was on its last leg. It would soon end in blood.

It had taken a month to track this remote outpost down, and thankfully the defenders did not yet know the danger on their doorstep. Had they caught wind of Imperial forces, they would have scattered to the four corners of Gordonopia like so many of their comrades before them. The only way to truly stamp out the threat was to end it in one push.

While the storm did help cover the small squad from the Arbitrat of Force's approach, it did make their own advance a challenge. They had been forced to resort to alternative optics, and the geosynchronous satellite that was supposed to give them an aerial view had been knocked out. Thankfully, the whiteout made forward observers or cameras from their Republican targets impractical, thus reducing the combat zone to just the cave they had converted into a makeshift fortress.

Based on their GPS readings, they were less than 100 m from their destination. Noticing this, the man at the front, Captain Norm Bates, signaled for the man behind him to stop, who in turn passed the message on. For the final approach, they would take up a carefully measured formation. Thankfully, the snow meant that they would be able to see any guards at the same time as they themselves came into view. A final weapons check, and the operation commenced.

Every man advanced carefully, R2 carbines raised, until slowly the outline of the cave and the rock wall around it came into view. So far, no opposition. The men moved closer. No Republicans. The details of the cave becoming clearer-

A suppressed shot sent the squad into prone positions. Norm quickly realized that it had come from one of his men. Some poor bastard had just felt the first sting of Force.

Though they were only a dozen or so meters away, the men in the middle of the formation, Norm being one of them, provided cover as the six operators on the wings advanced towards the entrance. Several more muffled shots traveled over the noise of the weather as presumable more guards fell. When they could just barely make out their comrades at the entrance of the cave, the four who had stayed behind followed suit.

When they arrived, they saw that their earlier assumptions had been correct. Four heavy-bundled men lay fallen in the snow, their wounds quickly freezing over, leaving small, rapidly congealing puddles of blood.

From the mouth, they could see that their suspicions about the cave had been correct; is seemed to stretch deep into the mountain. It would be a brutal fight to exorcise the demons who lived within.

[Jeru FC]

Melody Pond and Princess Melody Dallas after Jeru FC 2-1 to Milchama

Pond: Well, that was great start to this cup.
Dallas: Yep, perfect ...
Pond: If we want to get to the CoH again
Dallas: I suppose Milchama was supposed to win
Pond: I guess they were
Dallas: I don't mind I suppose then

Pond: Better giving points to them than lower rivals
Dallas: But we must win from now on, we can't afford to give any more away
Pond: The girls were a bit rusty
Dallas: I guess they aren't 18 anymore
Pond: So much for home advantage
Dallas: We might get more people in the stadium if the food was cheaper here

Pond: I wouldn't buy any food here. BYO for me
Dallas: They even pushed up the beer prices
Pond: No wonder there's less people watching us now
Dallas: I suppose it's to get us more money
Pond: I don't seem to see much of it coming back to us
Dallas: You sure don't

Pond: I noticed they sell wine here now
Dallas: Yeah but it's crap wine. The type you clean wounds with
Pond: Sounds nasty
Dallas: I always bring my own stuff
Pond: That's because you can afford it
Dallas: I have to keep my standards up

Pond: Some say they want an alcohol free stadium here
Dallas: Really? No one is gonna turn up if it was
Pond: They want to provide clean role models for the kids
Dallas: Really? So why I am here then?
Pond: I guess they worked out it'd cost then money
Dallas: Mostly drunks and perverts turn up to our games

Pond: Does that include the army people?
Dallas: Yes
Pond: Oh well
Dallas: HOORAY FOR BOOBIES
Pond: That's why they come, not because of football

[Kalumba]

Ambubwe flicked idly through pages of the newspaper which one of his men had stolen earlier that morning from one of the small General Stores which littered Wankwe National Park. Most of the news meant nothing to him and he just ignored it; a diplomatic incident with the Songhians here, an economic crisis there, three soldiers killed in a BAPL attack, none of this affected him or his small band of poachers. Having found nothing about increased security in the parks or the three rhino they had killed the day before, he turned to the sports page. Now this was a subject he cared about, in spite of his lack of love for Kalumba football excited a special fire in his belly and it was for this reason he had served in the Kalumban Native Rifles for three years. In doing so he had helped to crush the insurrection by the Bechuane Army of People's Liberation and this allowed football to be played once more. Ambubwe did not know why the sight of 22 overpaid prima donnas kicking an inflated pig's bladder around a field excited his passions so much, but it did.

When he was in the Army he had played for the KNR team which had dominated the Armed Forces League, and was still the record goalscorer. When he heard that Kalumba was to return to international football he had dreamed that he would he given a chance to represent the nation but mainly a chance to play against the best the world could offer. But then came te fever, it struck him down in his prime and weakened his body to the point where he could barely walk. And worse he had spent all his back pay on treatment for the fever and within a month of leaving the Army he was destitute, he had no home, no job and ruined by the fever no chance of achieving his dreams. He applied to the government and veterans organisations for help, but as a wartime volunteer he was entitled to no government pension and the veterans charities were overloaded with claims from the wounded and could give him little more than a pittance.

This turned Ambubwe to poaching. He was a Ba'Tsonga and viewed the great pachyderms as sacred beings, so began to hunt only the lion and it's bretheren. But the money for hides was low and the desires of the men from the east still lay in the great ivory tusks of the elephant and the horn of the rhino and Ambubwe turned against his beliefs to keep himself alive. As he looked through the sports pages he came back from his reminices and read the report on Kalumba's first game for years.

The Herald
Report by Bruce Mtwetwe

A poor start by 'The Tortoises' as was expected, losing by three goals to nil to a vastly superior Saugeais team. However the team were not disgraced and can walk away with their heads held high. This was no one sided thrashing, Kalumba stood up to continued pressure and occasionally threatened on the break and Chris Abouto hit the bar with a rasping volley late on in the game and Terrence Ottbourne despite his advancing age performed much like he did in the victorious Baptism of Fire team. He made save after save, including one from a Archambault penalty kick in the 14th minute.

But the score at that stage was already two-nil to Saugeais; Archambault having one, a magnificent solo effort in which he bypassed our midfield and rifled in from 35 yards and Alphonse Richelieu nodding in from an corner. Ottbourne's save did bring some life into a deflated team and the Kalumbans began to find a way back into the game with spirited defending, a tad too spirited in the case big William Anderson who earned a booking for clattering Archambault midway into the first half.

In spite of the growing confidence of the Kalumbans, they were still firmly second best. Only a goal line clearance from Von Harniggen kept the score at two-nil going in at the break. Manager Davies, though clearly unimpressed with the 1st half performance, stuck with his starting eleven and they played with the same vigour they had shown in the latter part of the 1st half.

In fact for the first twenty minutes of the second period Kalumba were on top and allowed Saugeais only the one shot, and managing an effort of our own with Ollie Roberts dragging an effort wide of the left hand upright. But the effort of containing the opponents began to take it's strain on an out of practice Kalumban side who started tiring. Manager Davis replaced Cheeter with Rowlatt, but could do little to stem the tide. Saugeais surged forwards and Ottbourne's goal was under siege, but the brave old paratrooper beat back the tide time and time again.

However his resistance could not last forever, and after parrying away a strong drive from Jonathon Miles an unmarked Archambault stroked the ball home and secured victory. The drama was not over though, and the still defiant Kalumbans drove forward and Davis nodded a long ball down to the lively Abouto who hit it first time and clipped the top of the bar. Moments later the final whistle went and Kalumba suffered a heavy but not chastening defeat. Things do not look great for the team, but at least we have our pride.

Possesion: 68%-32%
Shots on Target: 11-0
Shots off Target: 4-2
Offsides: 2-0
Corners: 7-0
Yellow Cards: 0-1
Red Cards: 0-0

Ambubwe despaired as he read this. Defeat! How could they have failed so miserably? He felt sure that were he there he could have done so much better. These thoughts only led to further inflame his dislike of his land, if they had paid for the treatment he needed for his fever he could have been there, he could have helped the team to aspire beyond it's constraints and triumph where none had given them a chance. With this deep and bitter anger in his heart he tore up the newspaper and fed it into the small camp fire. He decided today he would take an elephant, these brought tourism and money to the government who had refused to help him, by taking one he would make himself money and cost the state. He smiled at this thought and readied his men for the days hunt.


Game Ranger Wilson Mtuwa sat in his small, dusty office and stared at the grainy television screens in front of him. They showed footage from all the security cameras that sat on the fence surrounding Wankwe National Park, and for the thousandth time saw the same sight- an unbroken chain link fence topped with barbed wire. He was a veteran Ranger with twenty years experience and had not once seen anything of interest on these screens. Long had he argued with his bosses that the fence and cameras were a waste of resources and time, he held the firm belief that Rangers were best used patrolling the park and actively combatting poachers. But his superiors claimed the fence was reducing the number of poachers and was the best way to approach the problem. He sighed as he surveyed the screens again and grimaced in resignation until he heard the whine of an aero-engine, then he smiled and walked outside to the rough airstrip cut into the bush. His superiors had at least had aquiesed to his demands an aerial patrol unit was impemented, and thus twice a day an old biplane surveyed the park from the air.

He waited as the overall clad pilot climbed out of his battered machine and wandered over to his office. "Morning Wilson" called the pilot, and Mtuwa greeted him with an embrace. "Norman, how long has it been?" "Too long old friend, too long." The two men chatted amiably for a while as they caught up, Norman James had been a Ranger before The Emergency and had been called up to the airforce, but now he was back doing the job he loved and caring for the animals he admired so deeply. His report was short but detailed "Everything on this side of the Bilto is clear, Manbo and his herd are still waiting at Old Man's Kopje and Chariya and his pride still lie in the Long Vlei feasting on the wildebeast they hunted there two days ago. The impala and kudu still feed on the new grass over at Matshobana's Crossing. The only thing out of place was a small fire, but I passed it low and it looks to be natural enough, I didn't see anything to suggest people were there." "Thanks Norman, same time tomorrow then?" asked Wilson as they strolled back to the plane. "As long as nothing happens, you and Mable should come to dinner one night." "I'd like that, take care."

Mtuwa waved off the plane and stood watching as it gradually climbed and dissappeared in the clouds that hung low around the Ruzenwori mountains. With his one piece of contact gone he strolled back to his office and relaxed into his chair and truned on his computer and waited as the dial up internet connected. Thankfully today it worked and he opened the KBC website nd looked for the football scores, 3-0. He cursed in his head and opened up On The Lash With The Lads, the hardcore fans blog.

On The Lash With The Lads

Bloody disgraceful. Why on earth are we playing in international competition with a team so old that they played in the BoF 43. Sure they won it and yes they are all excellent players, but they are past their best and the whole team is not fit enough. Don't get me wrong, I love Kalumba and I have followed them to every match they have played abroad, but we are not ready. We simply do not have enough active footballers to compete at this level. The Emergency took the lives of many of the most promising upcoming talents as they died serving Kalumba and all football stopped. Only Abouto, Roberts and Rowlatt are playing regularly abroad and they are not enough to support a whole team. Yes people say the only way to get better is to play, but we should have waited a year or two. But enough grumbling...

...About that. The performance was insipid. We manage just two, yes two, shots in the entire game. And neither on target. Saugeais may be one of the better sides, but that just isn't good enough. We need to improve on our next game out, and we need to be more positive. Yes people may say we need to keep our pride and not lose by large margins, but I would rather we played like Eastfield Lodge and concede 7 but score 3. At least then the travelling fans have something to cheer about.

Although we did have a good time in Saugeais, what we can remember of it. I won't deny that we were far too drunk to properly appreciate the occassion, but it was the first time most of the lads had since each other in 3 years. And we had many a drink to the memory of those who died in The Emergency; Peter 'Nutbreaker' Yeardly, Eric Mousambani, Percival Mutuna and Royston Parks. All brave men, and they will missed next time we get in a scrap, especially old 'Nutbreaker'. We also had a few walking wounded amongst our number, especially our own 7'6" Dudley Chimboia who has lost an arm, and is now a terrifying sight as he bares down on you swing a pint jar in one hand and his hooked prothesis in the other. The game was poor, the beer was poor but the comradeship was still strong and we hope to have many, highly illegal, tales to tell of our travels in the weeks to come. The only highlight of the match for us was the chant we struck up with about ten minutes to go: "Your name sounds like a string of sausages, string of sausages, string of sausages" and so on. We hope it catches on so that in the match in Kalumba the whole home crowd is singing it.

Regular readers of OTLWTL, will remember how he got his nickname but I will recount it for all you newbies. We were drinking heavily in an un-named nation, this due to the outstanding warrants on many of us, and we got into a minor barney with some locals. About 1000 of them. We were just 60 strong and were understandably getting beaten to a pulp when Pete, who has been sleeping in the hotel we are fighting outside, wakes up and appears on the balcony. Now most lads seeing their mates getting battered would have eturned to bed, but not Pete. Pete leaps the three floors down to where we are and lands on the head of their biggest hoolie who had been taking us on three or four at a time and coming off est. Now he went down like a sack of spuds and we let out a cheers, which was quickly drowned out by a blood-curdling scream from Pete. The locals with their champion down were already reeling and this scream sets most of them running back home and Pete has leaped up and is sprinting faster than any of them knocking them out of his way left, right and centre. Inspired by his example we pick oursleves up and stumble after the fleeing mass but cannot catch them and retire to our beds. We somehow got to the airport on time and on arriving were met by an entirely unexpected site. Pete in a wheelchair, heavily sedated. When he came too on the flight back he recounted how he had come to be in such a terrible condition. On landing on the foes champions head he had burst a testicle, and the scream and rapid pursuit were not out of hatred of the enemy or vengence for his mate but a desperate attempt to flee from the pain he was in. RIP big fella you will be missed, but not forgotten.

Mr Spleen

O, the views of Mr Spleen in no way reflect the views of Kalumba and should be ignored completely. OTLWTL will be running a series of obituries to the brave lads who fell in The Emergency over the coming weeks.


Mtuwa sighed as he read the blog, it brought back memories of past glories and old friends. He had been there on the night 'Nutbreaker' got his name and many other scrape. But this year he was tied to his work and had little time for the glorious game. But he still loved his football, and was saddened to see Kalumba performing so badly. He agreed with Mr Spleen that it was too early to return to international competition, but now they were there wished his team all the best.

His mind wandered back to the fire Norman had talked of, and he placed a pin in the map where it was spotted. It was just inside his jurisdiction and he decided to go and have a look. These days he took any excuse to be back in his beloved bush and away from the lifeless TV screens that made up so much of his work these days. After some forceful cajoling he got the old Land Rover to start and placing his rifle in the rack behind his head, set off towards the location marked on his map anger over the poor football result still in his head. As he drove he remembered the chant the lads had made up and chuckled, at least that was still going strong and began to sing it with defiance to the result and cheered up. Perhaps everything wasn't as bad as it had seemed, the fire would be nothing and Kalumba would surely improve from that outing.

[Maklohi Vai]

OOC Note: The in-character content of this post is in no way representative of my own views or thoughts. I do not wish to offend, just to develop my country's crazy far-right wing side. If you have any issues with this RP, don't hesitate to tell me. I will try to remove offensive content ASAP.

MVFA: Predictions and Speculations

Hello, fellow countrymen and patriots. This is Kalo Nupakani, your resident alternate-interpretation journalist. That's the title they give me because they're just too afraid to let me use my real name: The Truth Giver.

Alright, so let's look at our Vaian team's opponent, a nation by the name of Jeruselem. First of all, spell the name right, please. We aren't living in some sort of communist education-free society here. Learn to use the letter a.

But what I see in that misspelling is something else. After talking to some of my white friends--yes, some of my best friends are white--I picked up some of their foreign-speak. Hans is a great Danish guy, and he always calls me "jer." This means you in his language, and I wish he could be a little less Scandanavian-ish neutral about his words, but whatever. Then there's Petr. He's a Hungarian scientist, and he's bit of a lunatic, not unlike a lot of those Ugric people. He's always muttering "elem," which means element. If I didn't know him better, I woulda thunk he'd be working on an anti-freedom bomb, but I know him and he's not that crazy. And, of course, "us" means us. Any dingbat can figure that out, unless it's a dingbat living in a communist state, because then he wouldn't get an education.

So, you-us-element. Well, I can first see that "you" is an element of "us" in terms of grammar. So basically they try to show that they're giving us a lesson in how to use pronouns. Thanks for nothing. But what I see here is a plot. Jerusalem is a town in another dimension I have visited many times in many dreams, and I know it is a town divided. I see a conspiracy plot here to join together the elements of this city and make it one group who can refer to themselves as a whole. THIS IS RACIST!!! No man and no woman and no chile should be forced against their will to mix with another group. That's why Maklohi Vai should be segregated, and we should keep all the non-natives off on their own little corner. We don't have time for fraternizing, and this group that dares to call themselves a nation is forcing it upon us! I want to be separate from those scum who don't deserve to have me in their presence. I want to stick in my own racially homogenous group and not intermingle! Except with my great friends like Hans and Petr, of course.

Now, I realize that sometimes there's something less obvious than a racist anti-segregation plot hidden in many names, but I'll try my hand at something else here. What if the structure was different? Je means "I" in French, and "ruse" is an English words. Now, what is "selem." Selem is actually a name referring to an organization that I know of in my dreams. This organization* runs campaigns advocating for a thing they call "human rights." That's a load of unwashed marmot fur if you ask me. Human rights? What are your "rights" as a human? FIGHT!!! If you don't have the courage to fight and become the better man, you don't deserve rights. Human rights do not exist beyond the right to fight for your success. You don't have free speech or a free press until you damn well earn it! You have to fight for yourself, and anyone who can't fight for themselves is a loser, a goner, and above all does not deserve our goddamned attention. Therefore, I end my writings for today. I will see you again next week, my fellow countrymen.

The views expressed in this piece are solely those of Kalo Nupakani, and are not representative of the Maklohi Vai Football Association.

---

*OOC: based off an actual organization, B'Tselem, whose goal of improved human rights I support.

[Barunia]

Joric Ruskin
"What the hell do you mean, we're playing Powersith?"
Joric was not pleased. He'd done his homework on Hutt River, and now they were playing a completely different team on their home turf. Joric didn't even know where Powersith was.
Wiggens, who had just delivered the news, raised a hand to silence the protests. "I mean, we're playing Powersith. Nothing I can do about it, it was a host error."
Joric turned and slammed his clipboard into the bench. In it was all the data he'd collected on Hutt River, data that would now be useless. The rest of the team had been silent during the exchange, but now Castolo spoke up. "So, what do we know about Powersith?"
"They're ranked 109th in the world" offered Wiggens, flicking through the notes he'd hastily compiled. "Anything else?"
"They're catholic?" suggested Tim Featherstone.
"Oh, that's useful. That's really going to help us." responded Joric sarcastically.
Lucio David spoke up in Tim's defence. "He just meant-""You shut the fuck up Lucio!" Joric screamed at him, "I don't give a damn what you have to say."
Fuming, Joric pushed past Victor and out the door, slamming it hard behind him.

Michelangelo WIllans
From his position in goals, Willans could keep a close eye on Joric. He'd never seen his captain lose his temper like that. Something was seriously eating up Joric. He wondered if it had something to do with the war. Certainly it was affecting the defence, as Gerry Sweeny ran into the box for Powersith. Lucio David went up to him, but Sweeny passed off to Monore, who was unmarked in the centre. Willans picked the direction, but even though he launched himself in the air at full stretch he could not stop it from hitting the back of the net. On the field, Joric was not happy. He was swearing at Lucio for missing the tackle, despite Joric having left his man wide open. As the verbal abuse started to fly, Willans had to step in. "Hey, we're all on the same team here!" he yelled. Joric shot him a look, but left David alone and went back to the other side of the box as play restarted in the centre.

Victor Castolo
Victor had never seen Joric so angry. The captain had given the team a stream of abuse after the game. This wasn't like him, even after a loss. After Joric had stormed out again, Victor went after him. Grabbing Joric by the arm, Victor asked him what was going on. Joric turned on him angrily. "What do you think? We lost."
Victor shook his head. "That's not what I meant. You've never been this angry after a game, ever. What's upset you?"
Joric glared at him. "If you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you. Besides, It's none of your business."
"It's effecting the team. As captain it's your job to-"
"Don't you dare! You think you know it all, don't you? Fine! You think you're so damn perfect, you be captain! I don't care anymore." Ripping off his armband, Joric threw it at Castolo's feet, then he was gone.

[Filopines]

Squad meeting the morning after the match

(Coach Reid walks to the front of the room)

“Good win, boys. We really deserved it and expected when playing against a 300-something ranked team.”

(Everyone claps)

“I was really impressed. A 4-1 win is an excellent start. Let’s go over what happened. 15th minute goal to Jack Harodzic, as well in 67th minute.
Good job Jack. 34th minute goal to Ahmed Dibay and 88th minute goal from Aaron Bolbing.”

*After the meeting*

“Stay here, Stephen.”

“Whatever, coach.”

“Look, I just want to say that I am extremely sorry for what I did.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“So do you forgive me?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You didn’t accept it, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You’re not even friggin’ listening.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“STEPHEN, YOU F***!”

“Who do you think you are? You think you can say one word and then everything will be all perfect in your perfect little world with a perfect wife, a perfect MISTRESS, perfect children, perfect f****n friends?!”

“Well…”

“OH MY GOD. YOU ARE UNBELIEVEABLE!!!

(Stephen Cayley leaves the room and slams the door)

(OOC: To the people that read my RP’s, do you want me to continue this ‘drama’ thing or a hopefully funny RP’s about three Filopinian players and their girl friends and girlfriends ‘a la Friends’?)