The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Eireann Fae]

Oh no, thinks Rowan, blushing a bit and covering her pause with a long drink from her tea, he is on to me!. Halfway through the vile concoction that passes for 'tea' in this place, she carefully sets the glass down and tries to choose her next words a little more carefully than the last. "Is just, uh, she's tha only elf I know, really. I mean, I don't know her, really, cos she's never been able ta come here, an' I haven't been there o' course. But t's nice thatchu think she's nice an' fine lookin' an' frinly like. Zat mean yer like, comferble wif elfs? Is good ya know they don' wanna kill you an' all, but are ya like, cool wif 'em?"

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"I'm not really comfortable with anybody," said Battlesmere, still looking at Rowan intently. "Between the problem's I've got on account of my ex-presidential uncle, and institutionalized paranoia, comfortable isn't a word I get to use a lot."

"Why don't you just tell me what you really want to say," he said, sipping his own drink sideways, not looking away. "I know what kids look like when they're trying to avoid the point, you know. It's why I'm alive."

[Eireann Fae]

Rowan blushes deeply as her mind races to find a way out of this rather deep hole she'd gotten herself into. "Oh, we were jes talkin' 'bout relaysh'ships 'tween Mess-gear-in Humans an' Elfs is all," she finally manages, trying hard to sound innocent. "How's about your relayshinships? Is there a missus Beetlesmare?"

[East Klent]

The Klentian delegation was sitting at one of the many tables, with Stevens and Mason reading the paper on either side of Willows who had been staring toward the bar for the past while; each were neglecting their drinks, which was highly unusual.

Willows decided to speak up, "Did you se..."

"Yep," replied Stevens, "Yes," replied Mason.

"Did they..."

"Yep.", "Yes."

"And then they..."

"Yup.", "Mm hmm."

"So they're..."

"Yeah.", "Exactly."

"You're not gonna..."

"Nope.", "No."'

"Okay," Willows still had trouble accepting some of the oddities that occurred in the establishment.

[Potted Plants United]

OOC: Jack, as you've probably gathered by now, is a bit of a loose cannon. Please don't eat him, LOL.

OOC: If he's a sentient being, he's in no danger, unless he attacks one of the plants.

The prehensile vine was extended again, and very carefully wrapped around Matthew's hand. It pressed a small object in his hand and then withdrew. The object turned out to be a round, brown seed about an inch in diameter.

"Take this to your home nation," the plant told him. "Subject it to to cold - just above the freezing point for water - for a standard week or so, and then plant it in rich, moderately moist soil, about two inches deep. It will germinate quickly and should sprout within two weeks. Keep the soil moist and give it access to white light with an ultraviolet component 10-14 standard hours per every 24 hours. You should know within 3 months if it becomes sentient or not. It is a speaker plant seed, so if it does become sentient, you will know it. Let us know how the experiment proceeds."

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"No, nobody like that," said Battlesmere, polishing off his drink and sliding the glass over to join the substantial collection that Neville, oddly, had not yet cleared away. They were very odd collection of glasses, looking and smelling different, almost like two people had been sitting with Rowan instead of just one.

"Life's been a mite too hectic these past couple years to really settle down with anybody. And I didn't really run into anybody worth settling down with, if you know what I mean." He shrugged. "All the good women seem taken." He fished his cell phone out of his coat pocket and toyed with it, flipping it open to read a text message.

"You know, Rowan, I believe that you were talking about relationships, and I know the kinds of things the Ambassador can say when she's good and liquored up, and I'm trying to figure out what it could be that would embarrass you, of all people. I can't work it out. You don't have to tell me, I'm not your father or anything. But, if you could shed any light on what this means, I'd be real grateful."

He turned the phone around so Rowan could see the screen. It was a text from 'Kelly (ambassador)':

hey tonry cna u crash somhwer else 2nite? i haz friends over an stuf

[Discoveria]

The prehensile vine was extended again, and very carefully wrapped around Matthew's hand. It pressed a small object in his hand and then withdrew. The object turned out to be a round, brown seed about an inch in diameter.

"Take this to your home nation," the plant told him. "Subject it to to cold - just above the freezing point for water - for a standard week or so, and then plant it in rich, moderately moist soil, about two inches deep. It will germinate quickly and should sprout within two weeks. Keep the soil moist and give it access to white light with an ultraviolet component 10-14 standard hours per every 24 hours. You should know within 3 months if it becomes sentient or not. It is a speaker plant seed, so if it does become sentient, you will know it. Let us know how the experiment proceeds."

"Thank you for your generous gift," said Matthew. "I'll have it packaged and sent to the National University of Discoveria for germination." Matthew took out his phone and sent the WA Office a message. Shortly afterwards, an aide entered the bar, looked for Matthew and the speaker plant, and walked over.

"Take this," said Matthew. "Pack it in a refrigerated cooler and ship it to the guys at the Botanical Sciences Faculty at the National University. I'll take care of the correspondence later - just make sure they don't X-ray it at Customs." The aide nodded and, after putting on a pair of gloves, she took the seed and sealed it in a transparent plastic bag marked 'BIOHAZARD'. She then nodded again to Matthew and Jack and glanced at Janis and the plant. "I think I should take this opportunity to disappear for a bit," said Jack, "seeing as I've caused more friction around here than two hairy bears on a shag carpet. Miss Leveret, I do hope we'll meet again. You take care of yourself, Mr Plant Hivemind. I'll see you later Matty." Jack and the aide then exited the Bar.

[Potted Plants United]

"We find the gendered pronouns rather amusing, when applied to our selves," the plant remarked. "Calling our selves "it" is quite acceptable. Miss Leveret still calls us "that damn plant" and it does not insult us either."

The mentioned ambassador went a little red in the face after hearing this.

"We wish you a happy stay here," the speaker plant added, before hiding the speaking cone leaf behind the general leafs, and then used its vines to operate the wheels attached to its plantpot, much like a humanoid might operate a wheelchair, to retreat out of the bar. Apparently it could see well enough in any direction, as it didn't need to turn around to exit.

[Araraukar]

To hide her embarrassment, Janis studied the orchid that now occupied her previously used glass. "Want a houseplant?" she asked Matthew. "This one seems safe to have."

[Discoveria]

To hide her embarrassment, Janis studied the orchid that now occupied her previously used glass. "Want a houseplant?" she asked Matthew. "This one seems safe to have."

"Well," said Matthew, "I'm not sure the office is the best place to keep it. Jack probably won't want to have a reminder of that plant around. But you know, I was just thinking ... some people say that Discoveria was named after the orchids that grow in the forests south of our capital city. And it would be nice to have a reminder of that in the office waiting area." Matthew studied the orchid intently, marvelling at the way it seemed to have varying shades of purple-pink depending on the light. Such a beautiful and yet fragile thing, a symbol of the wonder and mystery of nature. It deserved to be appreciated instead of gathering dust in a corner.

"I'll go and ask if Mr Chombers wants it," Matthew suggested.

[Eireann Fae]

Rowan finds herself needing more alcohol after Battlesmere's rather pointed questions, and holds up one of her many Green Vesper glasses to indicate to the barman that she needed another one of those. She blushes more and more as the Mesogirian delegate goes on, and feels her ears burning as he mentions the effects alcohol can have on Rodriguez. The poor girl's heart almost pounds its way through her chest as she reads the text message.

"Kelly 'embass'dor'?" she asks, attempting to feign innocence, but her voice is too shaky to really pull it off. "Jes how many Kellies dya even know?" The girl smiles weakly, but the smile quickly fades as she sees that Battlesmere isn't going for it. She wishes her drink would arrive, but fears she can't stall the issue any longer. Her impeccable politeness and unfailing honesty had finally caught up to her. Careful to avoid looking in the man's eyes, she breathlessly confesses.

"We was talkin' 'bout Kelly's family an' how she an' Ellen wants more kids an' I wondered how that worked an' Kelly said to do it nacherly that a man would hafta be involved an' that Ellen said only if that man was you an' then Alex chatted Kelly up about ménage à troises an' offered to give her a practice run on a threesome wif Ellen an' Kelly an' Alex an' they d'sided to not wait 'til Ellen got here an' Kelly an' Alex lef' t'getha right b'fore you came in an' now it looks like they're stayin' tha night t'gether an' I'm sorry I didn't tell ya an' please don' hate any of us..."

The girl takes a deep breath and stares intently at a scratch on the bar, afraid to look at Battlesmere or move or even speak any further. Even when Neville squeezes her drink in amongst the pile of empty glasses (what is up with that?), she remains motionless, scarcely breathing, as she waits for the inevitable response to her quick confession.

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

Battlesmere is completely run over by the tidal wave of words pouring out of the girl, and his eyes get bigger with each passing revelation.

"So she wants- And they want me to- and they went and-" He dropped his face into his hands again, thumping softly on the bar top. "I'm sorry I pestered you about that, Rowan, because now I wish I didn't know. Neville, get rid of these damned glasses and please bring me something hard. Looks like I'm going to be here for, fuck I don't even know how long."

"It's okay," he said, picking his head up and rubbing at his face, "I'm not pissed at you, okay? This is just mega-weird. Did she really say... wait a minute, Alex is one of your friends, right? If Kelly's drunk off her ass, does that mean... fuck, I don't know what I mean by that."

[Abacathea]

Mr Chombers had stopped drinking some time ago, roughly around the time a potted plant appeared to have wheeled itself into the bar, spoken and left again. Interestingly, the southern gentleman had managed to return to a relatively if not complete state of sobriety just as Matthew advanced holding an orchid.
OOC: Forgive me if the colors wrong, I've been trying to work out what color you've been using for it during the RP, but I saw someone mention you've been using purple so thats what i've gone with.

Matthew my boy, pull up a seat dear sir, we are most pleased with how well our nations and their delegates are now viewing each other since the R.E.I fiasco, but thats neither here nor there, pull up a seat....NEVILLE!! Two latte's please and not that cheap shit either, the good stuff you hide behind the bar will do nicely.

Mr chombers lit up a smoke in his usual fashion.

What can I do for you son?

OOC:I'm also going to throw out there that Discoveria is an RP genius as is Araraukar, but I laughed considerably at the idea I would want this plant given my current reactions, I imagine there was quite a smile when that decision was made, but i'll play this out and see where it goes

[Eireann Fae]

"‘So she wants-’Happy for her," Rowan mumbles, not intending to interrupt Battlesmere. "‘And they want me to-’I'd be flattered... ‘and they went and-’I'm 'fraid so..." Rowan sips her vesper and carefully sets the glass on the bar before her, and stares intently at the pale jade liquid inside. Tears well up in the girl's eyes as Battlesmere apologises for even bothering her about it. Trying hard to keep a neutral façade, several long moments pass before she manages to whisper, "I am so sorry, Sir Thornic Battlesmere.^†"

The girl blinks, and a single tear rolls down her cheek. "Alexandra will kill me... Lady Kelly Rodriguez^† will disown me..." Rowan smiles faintly, but her eyes don't leave her drink. "Do you think there is room on Mesogiria for a fugitive? I do not eat much, and I can back off on these..."

^† Rowan is being very formal in using their names like this. Just 'Sir/Lady Firstname' is a sign of respect; the full name is used in instances like this to recognise her guilt, but to not fault her for it - basically begging forgiveness of an aggrieved party.

(OOC: For the record, i like orchid for it :-)

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"Huh?" Battlesmere is confused. "Don't cry, you didn't do anything wrong. Kelly's the one who went off and got blitzed and," here he shuddered a little, "Hooked up with a teenager as practice for borrowing some of my precious bodily fluids. And she's the one drunk-texting me. If they try to give you shit about it, I've got your back."

He patted her on the shoulder, a bit awkwardly.

"Chin up, you probably saved me an incredibly weird scene back at our place, walking in on them."

He got his hard liquor, and got it down. Concentrate on Rowan's problem, he was thinking, don't think about what Kelly wants... or is doing, right now, probably in the kitchen, or on the sofa, or-

"Hey!" he said, to interrupt his own train of thought. "Seriously, I thought you guys were really all cool about this sort of thing, why'd your friend be mad?"

[Eireann Fae]

Rowan smiles a bit as Battlesmere reassures her that all would be all right. She even manages a chuckle at the idea of Alex having modesty and caring that most everyone knew she had just hooked up with Kelly. Rowan was concerned with Kelly's secret, and explains as much to the man. "Oh, Alex will probably brag about it tomorrow afternoon, after recovering a little from their... revelries. I meant to protect Lady Kelly - I do not think she wants you to know that about Lady Ellen. Being her... lover... and all, Alex probably would prefer to not see Lady Kelly be hurt." The girl blushes a little, but doesn't seem to be quite so upset. A special detoxifying pill she had slipped herself is helping, but she still dreads the thought of Alex and Kelly's reaction to her betrayal.

"You know..." she speaks softly, returning her gaze to the pale drink on the bar before her, "you do not have to mention that I told you... Do you?"

[Araraukar]

OOC: Forgive me if the colors wrong, I've been trying to work out what color you've been using for it during the RP, but I saw someone mention you've been using purple so thats what i've gone with.

OOC: I've been using colour code 8040FF for the orchid, but most people have put it at 8000FF, which is a bit darker. Any purplish colour works - it's not like the orchid belongs to me anyway.

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"No, I don't suppose I do," mused Battlesmere, rubbing his chin, the slight stubble rasping under his fingers. "It's just going to make talking to her very, very awkward from now on. I'll always be... thinking about it, you know? And since I already know, I'm going to have to work on looking properly surprised if they ever do decide to ask me."

"They didn't really ask you to keep it a secret, did they?"

[Eireann Fae]

"Well, no," Rowan responds, thinking back on all that had happened. All three of them were fairly intoxicated at the time, and the women hadn't even said anything as they walked out the door. "Knowing what I do of most other cultures though, such a thing was probably not meant to be shared. I do not believe Mesogirian culture to be as open as my own - if it were, Ladies Kelly and Ellen would probably have already let you in on their plan. Like I said, the tryst with Alex does not concern me, and may not concern them (depending on Lady Kelly's wedding vows). But now, like you say, I have put you in a very uncomfortable position, which says to me that you should not have found out that way. Lady Kelly has every reason to be quite upset with me, and, through their recent... association... so does Alex." The girl sullenly sips at her Vesper, and wrinkles her nose as the liquid touches her tongue. Somehow, the drink is more bitter than usual; she asks for water instead.

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"Good point," replies Battlesmere, watching the ice in his glass sparkle as he swirls it. He brooded over it for a moment, then set the glass down. "I guess I should look for the silver lining here: as long as we both know, I might as well ask the only other person I can ask right now." He turned back to Rowan. "I'm sorry that I put you in this place by asking, but I think I'm a better liar than you are. Far as I'm concerned, as of now, a little bird told me." He winked at her, and went on, "And I'm gonna take this chance to ask: in my shoes, what would you do?"

[Eireann Fae]

Rowan silently wonders how many 'little birds' would be privy to the information she had given Battlesmere. If he ever does bring it up to Kelly or Ellen, and Rowan and Alex are the only ones that know, it won't take long to figure out who that little bird is. She doesn't bother to voice her concerns, though, figuring that the damage is done, and there's nothing to be done for it now.

"Hence the questions on your relationship with the elves," she says softly, "particularly Lady Ellen. I do not know the exact nature of your relationship with Ladies Ellen and Kelly - considering my own fondness for Lady Kelly, I would go through with it." She smiles a little weakly as she adds, "I think we both know what Alex would do. I would not make the offer, were I in your position, with the friendships of my informant hanging in the balance, but I would keep it in mind in case they ever do ask. They may yet change their mind, or... shake their DNA together in a jar?"

A bemused expression crosses the girl's face as she finally manages to look directly at Battlesmere. "How does that work? Lady Kelly said it would be expensive, but if it is doable, that could be another way you could help if you feel uncomfortable volunteering your... services. I do not know much about currency, but I assume you have a lot, considering Mesogiria's former President..."

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"Oh, yeah, no way am I bringing it up," agreed Battlesmere, shuddering at the thought. "That'd be... bad."

"I don't really know Ellen that well," he said, "But I guess I don't know anybody well enough that I'd be comfortable, er, fathering children for them." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, and beseeched the barman for another round of the heavy stuff. "That's just, uh, not something I've ever thought about. There'd be all sorts of things we'd have to figure out, like whether or not I'm supposed to be involved or what."

"I actually gave away most of the money I got from my uncle. He was a dirty sonuvabitch, I didn't want any of his money. And a Marine disability pension isn't exactly lavish."

He tilted his head, thinking.

"I don't really know how it works, from a scientific perspective, but it has something to do with DNA recombination, gamete cloning, that sort of high sciencese. It's not really that uncommon anymore with just humans, but the elf-human thing is something I've seen in alarmist news articles, and no so much in real life. Old-fashioned reproduction is much more reliable, if a bit more," and he swallowed, "Biological."

[Eireann Fae]

Rowan visibly relaxes as Battlesmere swears off mentioning what she'd told him to the parties involved. The girl still feels uneasy, having violated Kelly's trust, even if she had never promised to keep a secret and the woman had never explicitly expressed a desire for the information to remain private. At least now, though, the worst that could happen is Battlesmere avoids future contact with Kelly, and he wasn't really the most sociable fellow to begin with.

"I am sure they only wish to make use of your seed," she says quietly, trying to recall if Kelly had mentioned anything about an actual relationship with the man. "Of course, if Lady Ellen is asking for you specifically, there is a small risk of drama there, because it is a personal choice, and she has to have made it for a reason..."

Rowan frowns a little as Thorn mentions giving away the money he got from his family. She had known President Battlesmere wasn't the most popular man in Mesogiria, but she doesn't know much about the particulars. Probably something to do with the shaky relationship between the Humans and Elves of the nation. In any case, the girl understands why he would prefer to not keep such 'dirty money'. Still, it would have been convenient...

"Well," she says, with a sheepish grin, "the biological method sounds more fun in any case." Rowan had never personally had the pleasure, but the way Alex goes on about it, it's hard to see the down-side. "Maybe you could use a good shagging, particularly with an Elf! You are far too uncomfortable for a man whose job it is to deal with people. Maybe the fling could help loosen you up, and bring you even closer to the Elves."

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

Thornics left eye twitched involuntarily at Rowan's use of the word 'seed.'

"I've only met Ellen a couple of times, but I think you could count the number of humans she's really friends with on your fingers. If I had to guess, I'd say she would want someone that Kelly knows well, rather than bringing in some unrelated third party." He shrugged. "From what I understand, Ellen's family basically disowned her for marrying a human, she's got enough problems being elf mom to human kids to be getting on with."

He still looked really uncomfortable about the whole thing, though.

"Umm, there aren't really a lot of elves around here," he said, tugging at his collar, "And I don't think there's any good way of, er, 'hooking up' with Ellen without blowing this whole situation wide open anyway. What," he said, smirking at Rowan, "Do you know some elves in need a tumble?"

[Suevo-Prussia]

With Rowan otherwise occupied, Nils and Max have now started their own conversation, reminiscing about old times, until suddenly, Max looks at his friend very sternly. "Mister Becker, on behalf of The President to the Confederacy, the Lord Chancellor and the confederate Senate, I must hereby protest your secession from our beloved confederacy. It was ill-advised and you people should be ashamed of yourself." - "Well Mister Schneider... On behalf of the mayor's council of the Common... oh, bite me!" The two men look at each other for a short time, then burst out with laughter.