World Cup LXI (61) RP Thread

[Free South Califas]

Rather belatedly, we issue a prediction of 7-3-6: sweeps against all teams ranked below us except for one draw; one draw each against Bostopia and Karditan; and losses elsewise against higher-ranked competition.

[Farfadillis]

Half a nation got a heart attack yesterday!

Well, not really. But the match sure was shocking. Farfadillis finally played at I7'snerra. The stadium was almost full. We were playing at home and could become the leaders of the group, Cassadaigua had a bye. It was our chance. Transilveinia had lost its previous match, and we hoped they'd lose another one. Farfadillis were the better team, were playing at home, and had won the other match. No one would've predicted what was going to happen....

And the game started, we were playing better, offensively as always, O'rosso started sending balls to the flanks, Wanderis defended well, Chinsúa was defending well, everyone was doing well. In fact, they were doing so well that just one 12th minute Wanderis dribbled Transiveinian, passed the ball to O'rosso who dribbled another player, sent a through pass to Tuzzio who put the ball on the corner of the goal and set things 1 - 0. The crowd was surprised, they were expecting good things, but scoring so early sure was a surprise. But then, we stopped playing so well, Numbá seemed tired, so we couldn't get the ball into their goal anymore because, even though we still had Tuzzio and O'rosso, sometimes they can't do miracles, sometimes, well, at least that was what it seemed.

So we went to half time 1 - 0. And the second half sure was shocking, they started with an early goal on the 56th minute from Anonymousjansen's header on the second post, Lisdiren stopped it but it hit the post and entered. It was 1 - 1, the stadium was silent, Ferdullaele was silent, but, O'rosso took the ball, started discussing with the referee about an offside that never happened, and when the stadium was completely silent, he shouted: "Frijagafarf! Gordana bri ganar peri lemaste aleintarra!" which, for those of you who don't speak Farfadish, it means "Hear me, we are going to win but you must cheer!". The stadium started to cheer again, it was incredible, I think this may have been the reason why we won, Transilveinia started playing worse after that.

After that, they scored another goal, Anonymousious scored from outside the box on the 70th minute a goal which I think was unfair, but it doesn't matter now. The crowd was still cheering, all the supporters knew they were going to win. The team kept playing well, and it got what it wanted on the 78th minute, Johans, who had just entered 6 minutes ago for Numbá (who was not playing well) dribbled one, then another one, then another one, then yet another one, entered the box and xhipped it over the goalkeeper, it hit the post, it bounced just inside the goal and the referee called it valid. The crowd was cheering as never "Jooooohans! Joooooooohans! Joooooooooohans!"we had equalized. Nothing else happened after that, except for what I'm going to tell you all now.

90th minute, the referee had given 4 minutes of stoppage time, the crowd was still cheering, but a bit less. But then, Tuzzio sent a cross to Chinsúa's head who sent a mindblowingly powerful header to the corner of the goal, but Transilveinia's goalkeeeper could send it off, sadly for them, Tuzzio was there to chip it just over the goalkeeper laying down on the floor, even though he had no angle, now that's what I call CLASS. The stadium exploded, almost literally, there were around 140,000 people jumping and shouting, the stadium could've collapsed, happily, it didn't. Tuzzio rook his shirt off and celebrated the goal, then kissed it and put it back, he got a yellow card and the referee decided to stop the game there for security reasons, as the stadiuum was probably going to collapes, as said before.

That was how we won our second consecutive game, and just for the record: If we were to get 1 points more from now on, we'd get the same points as last time, hopefully, we'll keep our winning streak.

[Aguazul]

Pedro Flores had moved on to other pursuits, but there were still lots of people with megaphones. With 68,000 fans in the Estadio Aramis Peralta, there was room for more than one of them to pace the aisles. Now and then they led chants, but mostly they were happy to serve as talking media guides.

"And here's Borrinna o HighPeaks, the right back, number three," said one man, walking past. "Now, you know, Armed Bears, this country...it's a tribal place, these players identify based on which "clan" they come from. And she happens to be a member of the Redwood clan, it's also the home of number five up there. And a couple other members of that same clan, so one that's produced a few good talents. Although the defense struggling at the moment to shut Lanos down."

And if fans across the stadium couldn't hear him even with the megaphone, well, no matter, there was a woman who'd fill them in. "Over there on the right for the visitors, that's Borrinna o HighPeaks. She plays for the Free City Furies and she's been playing football for nineteen years now, must have started out age seventeen. A member of the Redwood clan, is o High Peaks, that's the same tribe or whatever that gave us o Redwood, number five."

The visitors were jumpy, not quite able to muster up an attack fo their own, but they came close. "A nice sprint from Ulga WestWalker up there," the man said. "And domestically she's doing well, she actually just signed a new contract after twenty years in the game. But fortunately not posing much of a threat today, running aside."

"Aguazul got lucky there," the woman agreed as she turned and made her way through another section. "Ulga WestWalker's pace always a threat, still fast even after playing for twenty years. And she's recently signed a new deal with the LakePort Lionesses...LakePort a city in Armed Bears I would assume, obviously has nothing to do with the club Sporting Lakeport in Dancougar, that country's been gone for ages."

During the second half, one of the visiting players proved not quite agile enough to turn before running into Merlín Salomón. He was winded, but fine, and no booking was given. "That was probably the right call," the woman noted. "This team can be slow, and in all fairness, Honey SunBlessed slow in a couple senses. But she's a sweet player and clearly didn't mean harm, Salomón's not injured, let's let the game flow.

The man felt similarly. "Close play there. But Salomón is okay, and that doesn't deserve a yellow. It's just typical slow turning and a little thickness, but then that's normal for their number four."

"Number ten," the woman called; by that time they'd gone all around the stadium so that they were a few rows apart, and the fans turned to watch the argument.

He put down the megaphone and yelled from the next section over. "Urra SunBlessed?"

"Yeah, Honey?"

"She wears number four."

"What kind of a megaphone guy are you? She wears number ten."

He squinted. "Huh. Guess you're right. Well, okay."

"Idiot," she shrugged, as o HighPeaks passed to WestWalker.

Hoping to redeem himself, he noted, "Two of the players based abroad, o HighPeaks there plays in Nethertopia and WestWalker just signed in Dancougar..."

"Nethertopia don't have a league. And Dancougar hasn't existed for years!"

He blinked. "You're...you're right. But I swore I looked this up!"

She shrugged. "Not everyone has what it takes to wield a megaphone."

"Where would I have heard that, then? If not here?"

"I don't know. Go lead chants or something."

"All right," he sighed. "I can do that one about the Belles being big and hairy, right?"

"Depends on what the fans want."

"Hmm. Well. Let's see..."

[United Gordonopia]

Previous Entries in "Norm Bates: Tolten's Fire"

Part One

The pass is received. Spot on. Bates turns on a dime. Flowing like water, he moves the ball up the wings. Fakes out and passes two defenders. At the corner. Unopposed. Perfect cross. Donovan with the header. Goal.

Thirty seconds after the flawless play the referee blew the whistle, further cementing the team's victory... and their 21 match winning streak. Once again, the boys of the Riverwork Union had managed to outplay even the toughest of competition. Among the various factory teams of the loosely organized Westside River Labor League, Riverwork was undoubtedly the best. This latest match, a 4-0 thrashing of Schmidt Refinery, was just one of a long string of successes.

As he walked over to the stands, the crowd of over 1,300 couldn't help but let out a thunderous applause for James Bates. With a goal and two assists this match alone, and countless more during his time on the squad, the 24 year old was far and away the star of the team. He was so good that many in the neighborhood thought he had a shot at making the pro leagues, if only a scout would actually venture into the ghetto that was the colossal industrial district of Gordonopia's industrial capitol.

Loving the applause, Bates stopped to soak it in before he headed up the steps of Riverwork Worker's Stadium. The stadium, usually known as The Field, had been a fixture in the neighborhood since the Riverwork Foundry had hired its first man. Built to provide some measure of entertainment for the thousands of employees at the steel mill, The Field had played host to the best football players in the local union for decades as they played against other nearby factories. Several years ago, the owners had decided to tear down the stadium and convert the land into more cheap housing for the expanding mill. In an act of unity rare even for the tight-knit communities in Tolten, the workers at Riverwork did everything in their power to keep that from happening. Not only did they give a small amount every day to a community fund, but they also contributed every dollar they made from overtime. Finally, only days before the scheduled demolition, the fund had enough in it to buy the stadium from the Riverwork management. Since then, the Union had played in its fans and players, rather than some wealthy fatcat, owned, and the stands, built to fit 1,150, regularly filled well over capacity.

Several rows from the bottom, James found his wife. Standing excitedly next to her was their two-year-old son, Norm, who was as excited as any toddler could be. Although he couldn't yet understand the game his father was so good at, the scruffy boy seemed at home in the atmosphere of the sport.

"Da! Mommy say you win!" the boy yelled as his father swung him up into his arms.

Smiling broadly, James nodded his head and said, "That's right, son, daddy won. Maybe some day you'll be winning too."

[Liventia]

Skipper in shock resignation
TURORI— Liventia captain George Bowler has sensationally called time on his international captaincy with an explosive attack on manager Dennis Lefevre.

Bowler, who has captained the side since the 51st Cup of Harmony, said the new manager had ignored his requests for a face-to-face chat about the current international setup.

"It's incredible that someone can just waltz into this wonderful organisation we have, a brilliant understanding, and refuse to meet the leader," Bowler told the Broadcasting Corporation of Liventia.

"I don't know what he's smoking, but he needs to get real quick," added the 28-year-old centre-back. "There is discontent in the squad at his new approach and the senior players are not happy."

Bowler's comments will be a concern to the FAL, who are keen to move on from a disappointing Cup of Harmony 52 campaign in which former manager David Thompson quit after just two matches.

In a statement, the FAL thanked Bowler for his contributions as captain and was quick to reassure fans that the popular defender was not being frozen out of the national side.

"While George has strong views on the current management setup, the FAL will ensure that players are picked on merit and not on their relationship with the coaching staff.

"We have taken his views into account and will shortly name a new captain."

The bookies currently have Reece Wilson, who captained the side against Mapletish and again in yesterday's 0–0 draw against Turori in which Bowler only appeared as a late substitute, as favourite to take over at 5/4 odds. Current vice-captain and Wilson's strike partner Paul Garner is on 11/4, while goalkeeper Ross Ramsden is third favourite at 13/4.

Liventia side against Turori: Ramsden; Daniel, Radcliffe (Barron 54'), Hodge (Bowler 89'), Davis; Coburn, Grant, Johnson, Goodwin; Garner (Clarke 80'), Wilson (capt.)

[Dandillis]

Dandiyí for you!

Anarcho-Communists and the World Cup

Well, you probably didn't see the last two matches of the Dandish National Team, but you know what? We won both of them. Against Wihsirmir Taoul di wer Qumadosfan and against Soviet Canuckistan too. But not the way we would've liked.

Did you know we have an Anarcho-Communist Extremist party? Well, you now know, this guys dressed up the same way as the other, covering their heads with masks and kidnapped the players. Entered to the field with rubber guns and started playing, the referee, who was blind, probably chosen by them, and started to play, shooting rubber guns at the other players, they scored 3 easy goals even though they were horrible at playing, but hey, they had rubber guns. The 3 goals were basically shooting the rubber gun on the goalkeeper's testicules, then scoring. This was against Wihsirmir Taoul di wer Qumadosfan.

Against, Soviet Canuckistan however, this trick didn't go well for them, they decided to make a substitution after hafl time, Ndella entered for an anonymous plaer who was exactly the same as the other 11, they continued with heir dirty play, but with Ndella on their side, he scored a headed on the 70th minute, the n the Anarcho-Communists threatened the referee with an actual gun, and he ended the game. One of our reporters saw a player giving him a 1,000 D$ bill to the referee after the match.

How do we know they were Anarcho-Communists? On the press conference they talked about their party and how awesome they were, and asked for votes, which they probably will get if they continue to do this, I wonder how much more time they'll continue doing this....

Oh, why couldn't you see the match? These Anarcho-Communists hacked Channel 4 and showed political ads about them. They just showed the press conference.

WE ARE FAIR PLAY

[Unified Falcon]

Newson's Files - After MD2

Well, at least that game's over. We knew that Saugeais would be the toughest team on our schedule, and it was just as we had predicted. The surprising fact was that we actually managed to score one goal against them, with Nehafsaim scoring a brilliant goal in the fifty-third minute. Kuzman Ruslan of Saugeais, though, was the man of the match, scoring all three of the team's goals before the half, and putting our team in more disarray than they were.

At least the one thing that the two sides of my camp can be together in is defeat. It kind of takes all the fight out of your sails when you lose a game like that. There wasn't any arguing at all. We had been slapped so hard, that the mute button was pressed. All the teammates did was console each other.

I have an idea about how to bridge the gap between the two teams. Hopefully, I can get it going before the next match. Really, the sooner that we get over this divide, the sooner we can start playing as a team... and the sooner that I'll stop caring whether we win or not and just be happy that we're starting to play as a team.

Jacques Didier is having a few rough days... I mean, it's not all his fault that we've given up so many goals. The other sides are just that good at this level.

Time to go and make a phone call... Hopefully my plan will work. It'll be good to just see them wearing the teal of Unified Falcon instead of the dark purple of Falconfar or the light purple of Falconear... One nation, one team, one people.

[Audioslavia]

Rubio passed the four hard-drives through his hands. He placed the hard-drive from his own pc back into his pocket and laid out the other three like a poker player with his cards.
"So what's the plan?" he asked,
"We find out what's on these hard-drives"
"Yes. I guessed that. They'll probably be encrypted, mind."
"No problem" said Jeremy, "I know a guy"
"Of course you do. Anyway. Once we find out this information, what do we do with it? Where do we publish it?"
"We don't. We don't *need* to anyway. I'd just like to see what's happened. How much money has the paper been losing? Is it enough to be legitimiately closed down. Are there any future plans on there that we can take advantage of? It'll be interesting."
"Fair enough" said Rubio, who hadn't as much time for such machiavellian tactics as Jeremy.
"Oh, and there's one other thing"
"What"
"I almost got caught. Did, actually, but got my way out of it. My phone rang. Some arsehole from back in the old country. They're sending out a young reporter. Didn't get his name. The idea is that he'll be shadowing us at the Emberton Post."
Rubio blinked.
"News still travels as slowly in Audioslavia, then"
"It seems so"
"why would somebody willingly want to work with you?"
"Like you, you mean" retorted Jeremy
"I got lucky. I got you when you were still finding your feet. Now you're back to your old self, sin cerveza, you're an entirely different prospect. I can't imagine a newcomer being able to stomach you for more than five minutes"
"Charming"
"No problem."
"Well" said Jeremy, pondering over his coffee, "It'll be an experience, at least. He can help us with this little thing. We'll tell him its a 'story'. If he can delve a little further into it, find out what's happening, then we'll know he'll be a good man to have around"
Rubio raised his mug in the air, offering a *clink* with Jeremy.
"Sounds like a plan"

---

Sue Dysos sat in her hotel room in Audioslavia, staring at her phone. Her luggage - all of one suitcase - still unopened on the bed. She'd been in the Audioslavian mainland for all of three hours and, all of a sudden, she'd learned she was about to fly out again. Krytenia. That Krytenia. If that wasn't bad enough, she'd be working with....

Oh god.

Jeremy Jaffacake. That Jeremy Jaffacake. The most infamous journalist who ever existed. The guy who once poisoned an entire water supply for an entire country in an attempt to get his home naiton an upper hand in a World Cup playoff. The guy who had been seen having public slanging matches with everyone from Simeone di Bradini to Franz Braddock to Rameses Niblick the Third. The man who, until recently, was an incorrigible drunk, but was now merely incorrigible. Jeremy Jaffacake. Man. Myth. Arsehole.

She wondered what she'd make of him. She wondered what he'd make of her.

No time to waste, then. To the airport.

[Camwood]

Camian Football has been going up hill for sometime. We had a slow start, yes. But we have been gaining ground at a constant pace, and in a couple cycles, we should be in the top forty. Camian Football has been progressing very well.

At least, until now.

I am pretty sure, that when this shit leaks, all hell is going to break lose. But the fact is, Sporting isn't, and can't pay me enough. How else am I supposed to make money? I have a mortgage and a family. And frankly, my mortgage is a lot more than your share in whatever company is trending. For fuck's sake, Camwood doesn't have an international economy, no matter what the left wing press says.

Speaking of Economy, where is the gang getting the money to pay me from?

Surely, they bet $1,000, make $2,000, and generally things get uphill. Not to mention their marijuana outfit, that must net a bunch of dollars. I am basically getting 40% of every bet they win. With no risk. So, they normally but down $20,000, if Camwood loses, I net sixteen grand, multiply that by eighteen, I could have possibly netted $288,000. Pay of the house, buy a sports car, and retire. Hopefully I will die by the time this shit unfolds.

Am, I getting the $288,000? No. We won matchday two, damn it. That lowers my potential total to $272,000. Not Good, we can not, I mean I can not afford to win. Not happening. I know, the irony is hilarious. But it's true. Tough times for me. No one else is struggling but me, damn it.

I am keeping Fredrick Candell in as keeper. The truth his, Candell is a lazy ass. The only shots he saves are the ones kicked at his fat melon of a head. The other guy, oh what the hell's his name? It's like some young pup playing in Darmen, that Daniel Price guy. He is an athlete, man that kid can save. But no one else knows that. Every thinks he is too young. Oh how I am fooling them, and how I am making big bucks.

[Karditan]

Emanuel Portico sat at a rough wooden table on a splintery wooden chair under a tropical tree canopy, putting off what he knew had to be done by thinking back on the game played earlier in the day. The oppressive heat and humidity had had little effect on the Nozama native, but Dorian Berard (the only Karditani back) was from the much colder northern city of Bashtun. Without any of the refreshing drinks his company produces, Dorian had to settle for an odd concoction local to Wild Isle; not only was it ineffective in staving off the delirium that comes to northerners in tropical climates, it didn't sit well in his stomach. As such, he wasn't much use on the field. Left Wing and Ivory Hilt did an admirable job keeping play in the midfield or more forward for most of the game, and Dust Pan was all over the backfield sweeping up any loose balls before any of the Wild forwards could get their grubby feet on it, but the lack of a reliable back would come back to bite the Karditanis.

Roughly halfway through the first half, a long clearing kick by Dust had, by sheer luck, found Lightning Heart in an otherwise unoccupied section of the right wing well into the Wild side. There was more than enough room for the buffalo to begin a charge, and once that happens there isn't much the defense can do to stop him. Clocked by a curious Silveen Eleco on the sideline as going 20 miles per hour when the shot was finally taken inside the box, it made perfect sense why all the Wild defensemen were less-than-willing to get in his way. A--odd name, sure, but makes more sense than any Carmadese name--might be made of the hardest wood on Wild Isle, but even the hardest wood knows he shouldn't mess with fire. The goalie made an acrobatic leap that would have been a miraculous save on a shot towards the right post, though everyone in the stadium (if you could call the little field that) knew it was heading for the left corner. The five Karditani midfielders had kept the pressure on for while, but couldn't add anymore. They had held a 1-0 lead at the half.

However, right after play resumed for the second half, there was immediate trouble. A terrific pass from Kuakai to an unmarked Auru on the right wing had Emanuel gulping. Dust was out of the equation, well out on the left wing, so Dorian needed to pressure Auru badly. Too bad that Dorian decided that was the perfect time to pass out from overexertion. Auru had a 1-on-1 with all the time in the world to set up his shot; poor Emanuel didn't have shot at stopping the shot. After the equalizer, Jack Howitzer came in for the unconscious Dorian and did a respectable job off the bench. Play was bogged down in the midfield for the most part towards the end of the game; full time came with an exclamation mark as A made a miraculous save on a strong shot off the hoof of Korzado.

Sweet Swing poked her head in the doorway. "You finished writing that letter?"

"Shit." Emanuel thumped the desk with his fist. "I'll do it now."

"I know it's a bit embarrassing, honey, but we don't really have an option. The mail boat leaves in half an hour; hurry up!" She slipped back out of the door.

"Alright. Let's just get this over with." Emanuel put pen to paper and started to write.

Mr. Jaffacake,

This is a formal invitation to Emanuel Portico and Sweet Swing's wedding on the eve of the 14th Matchday of the World Cup qualifiers. Ceremonies are to be performed on the Karditani field of play shortly before the match against Free South Califas; transportation to the complex will be provided should you accept.

Now, this is an informal offer. Jeremy, I am asking if you would be my best man. All of my normal choices are either in jail, extremely busy, or dead. See if you can take some time off from that paper you work for--I'm not sure how any newspaper is still in business in this day and age, to be honest--and come out here for a day or two. I'd really appreciate it if you would show up in a nice suit and say a few words.

There will even be an open bar, if you can finally kick that horrible 'sober' disease you've contracted.

~Emanuel Portico

He held up the letter to better see it in the candlelight and sighed. The proposition itself was rather awkward, and it didn't help that his handwriting was nigh on childish. His impressive vocabulary is purely a product of his worldliness; he didn't have much in the way of schooling. The letter was folded and inserted into an envelope, the stamps were licked and stuck, and the candle snuffed on his way out.

[Socialist States Owen]

OOC: I used Balt's WC60 roster as RPing 5 goals for them without one would be pretty dull.

Randall angered as FSSO's second string fail to overcome Baltskandio in bizarre goalfest
Clint Covey reports from Baltskandio

From Baltskandio

BALTSKANDIO - 5
Vestergaard 17
Pedersen 25
Kold 28
Arnold 40
Rasmussen 46

FSSO - 5
Needle 11
Sharp 59
Thompson 66
Parsons 79
Kane 80

Despite expectations of an emphatic start to qualifying with a win in Baltskandio, the FSSO failed to live up to expectations in a game plagued by defensive errors.

Due to the FSSO playing their reserve defence, and Daniel Belgrave missing the match due to the passing of his mother, they looked very weak at the back and were surprisingly falling apart at the seams in the first half. On the other hand, their attacking options were of a higher quality and broke the deadlock early on; Sam Needle had little to do after a one-two move with Lee Sharp that put him through at goal, chipping the ball slightly to the left of the keeper. However it was the next thirty minutes which ,in the words of the commentator sitting behind me in the press area, went 'tits up'. Baltskandio scored an equaliser only six minutes after going behind when Jul Vestergaard's corner arced over interim keeper Simon Neeson and into the top corner - the third time in an international match that this has happened to Neeson. Soon however things got worse as the home side took the lead. Vestergaard turned provider this time when his 25th minute cross was headed in like a bullet by Gert Pedersen.

Within three minutes they had another, and Ben Randall's face began to turn a different colour as he fumed quietly on the touchline. Djourou Calaga is usually a key part of Sparta FC's defensive apparatus and rarely lets the team down. On this occasion though he was completely out of position and therefore unable to mark Christian Kold when he was put through on goal by a through ball, leading to the third. However, it was the fourth goal, which came on 40 minutes, that would show this match was heading towards a severe upset - and would show the degree to which Ben Randall can become violent, as he threw his match notes onto the ground in front of him as the ball went in. This time Dennis Arnold was the guilty party, seemingly tapping in another Vestergaard corner with an absurdly weak attempt at a clearance. At half time the irate FSSO boss locked the door on the changing rooms as he gave his side a dressing down, while Baltskandio came to terms with their unbelieveable lead. It became even more ridiculous as the second half started - Ella Rasmussen, who had until now had a rather quiet game, launched a thundering shot from 25 yards only 60 seconds in to the second half, leaving Simon Neeson stranded and the FSSO inexplicably 5-1 down.

At this point it seemed impossible for the FSSO to come back, but in the last 35 minutes they showed their true quality up front and upped their game after three of the back four were substituted. The signs of a recovery were first seeded in the 55th minute when Sharp struck the post with a piledriver from 30 yards. Next time, he would score; four minutes later Sharp caught out Sigurd Jørgensen with a 40 yard lob as Jorgensen fiddled with his gloves at the edge of his box. Baltskandio suddenly had contracted the "horrendous mistake" syndrome from which the FSSO had been suffering. The away side continued to turn up the heat and before long scored a third. Long serving captain Steve Thompson, now aged 36, made no mistake with his 66th minute shot from the edge of the box after Pizza found him with a long ball. Baltskandio were rattled, and next up to score was Chad Parsons. A young winger who made a strong challenge for Josh Stevenson's position in the pre qualifying friendly against Sameba, Parsons is reknowned for his excellent shot placement which he displayed in the 79th minute with a curled finish from the 20 yard mark.

Only 40 seconds later the scores were level. The FSSO attacked from the kick off, regained possesion via a Persa Ryans tackle on Rasmussen, and managed to get the ball out to winger Kieran Kane who duly strolled into the box and thumped the ball past Jorgensen. Unfortunately this is where the visitors seemed to run out of steam. Baltskandio couldn't believe what they had just given away and were exhausted, but so were the away side who had left themselves too much to do to win. Both sides seemed to limp to the finish after this 10 goal thriller.

Man of the Match: Jul Vestergaard

[Carpathia and Ruthenia]

The sky was foreboding, thunder roared in the heavens and lightening lit up the sky in furious bursts. The cold wind howled and thrashed the deluge of rain right into her, soaking her to the bone and threatening to throw her out of the boat. It was like it was trying to tell her something. But she couldn’t turn back now. Not after all she’d done to get here.

The months spend trawling the Royal Archives, she must have gone through thousands of books trying to find even the thinnest tangible lead. Then when she’d given up hope, when all seemed lost, she found it. Quite by chance, but she found it. A book had fallen out of a nearby bookshelf startling her half to death, and when she when to pick up it she saw what she had been looking for on the page staring right up at her; “Margaret”. She read through the page and it seemed to confirm what she’d heard about Margaret, but this book had everything, what she looked like, the rituals and most importantly of all where to find her. However the luck that brought the book seemed to run out and the book was reluctant to part its final secret, it spoke in riddles saying Margaret could be found in “The land that no longer is but always was” and “To drink with The Dragon and the Butterfly”. But she was not disheartened, her hope sparked anew.

She knew the answer would be found in the history of the World Cup, Margaret in all the myths was strongest linked with the competition. So she began trawling again, even more obsessively than before. Her friends hardly saw her anymore, and her husband and moved out for a week before she’d even noticed he was gone. But it didn’t matter, the riddle was becoming more clear. She’d worked out the first part when going through the old winners of the World Cup, the further back she went the fewer nations she recognised. In the past she’d always assumed this was due to a lack of attention in geography class, but with the riddle it made sense. With the first part cracked the second answer came quicker, she’d found it. Margaret was in Snub Nose 38.

Her joy and elation quickly faded when she realised the truth. She may know where to find her, but she didn’t know how to find her. How do you get to a land that no longer exists?

[Western cuba]

Havana Tribute

The #1 Newspaper in Western Cuba

Another Good Performance by Western Cuba

Jorge Ramirez

Western Cuba is off to a 2-0 start in World Cup qualifying after there most recent victory against Apox. While Western Cuba won pretty comfortably with a 2-0 win, I have to say I was impressed by the play of Apox. Who while being ranked two hundred and seventy-third in the world, I think. Apox reminds me of when soccer was just a small sport during the communist regime. Now look what soccer has grown to, the last few qualification stages we have been so close to advancing. Maybe sometime in the future Apox can say the same. After watching yesterday's game, there fans deserve it.

In fact Apox would be the first team to find an opportunity to score on goal in last night's game. Armando Santos would make a decent save though to prevent that from happening. In fact, Santos has been outstanding in his two World Cup qualifying appearances so far. Both of them being shut-outs, Santos sort of reminds me of Alejandro Torres. I know its two different sports, one baseball and the other being soccer. However Torres also just recently debuted in the classic and dominated, just like Santos is doing in qualifying so far. I know, it's only been two games and we have eighteen more to go. However I'm pretty excited on what Santos has to offer. Maybe fans will soon forget about Hector Diaz retiring.

During the sixth minute, Western Cuba would find there first chance of scoring. And this time, it was closer than Apox's attempt. However it was not close enough, as the score remained nil after Alberto Perez took a shoot on goal. It was a beautiful shot, however the ball curved just outside of the goal. Which prevented Western Cuba from taking the one to nil lead.

It would take a foolish mistake by Cas Newan of Apox to put Western Cuba on the score board. With Western Cuba just outside the penalty box, Newan would foolishly foul Goyo Soto which resulted in a Western Cuban free kick. Ricardo Calderon would easily take advantage of the opportunity, and would head in Soto's free kick.

The game would not go without foolish players by Western Cuba either, Gabriel Ruiz would find himself picking up a yellow card in thirty-fifth minute. By a reckless tackle on an Apox player. Anatoly Markin seemed to like the tackle though, who was shown by cameras smirking after the foul was committed. Some of the media has criticized this, but Markin has replied.

"While I don't like Ruiz getting yellow cards, I was happy seeing him physically get in the play. One of the few things he has had trouble with, now I guess I have to stop him from being to physical".

And in the fifty-eight minute Western Cuba would find the goal again, this time by Edgardo Mendoza. What a surprise huh? Can any of you remember the last time Mendoza failed to score in a World Cup qualifying game he was in? The shot was a beautiful one, and even if Jarvis Staniels was the best goalie in the world, he could of not stopped that shot with any hope.

Western Cuba would almost rack up another goal in the sixty-night minute if it was not for an oustanding save by Staniels which prevented Vincent De Santa from getting his second goal of the tournament. De Santa, like Ruiz is one of the youngest players on the squad and so far has performed very well. The new youth Western Cuba is bringing in has promise to show success for the future of soccer in Western Cuba it seems.

And when the final whistle blew, Western Cuba found themselves once more the victors and gained a valuable three points. The three points were not achieved without risk though. Drawing two yellow cards on the pitch last night, Western Cuba found themselves in danger of getting a red card. Something that has not happened in a very long time for us, and would not be good if it happened during world cup qualifying. Western Cuba will have to make sure those foolish yellow cards don't happen again.

Now Western Cuba heads on to game three, make sure to watch the game on WCSN tonight as Western Cuba looks to extend there unbeaten streak to three and gain another three points to expand there total to nine points this qualifying.

[Saugeais]

Classic victory gives Saugeais early boost in the Qualifiers

Kuzman Ruslan has been on the tongues of many a Saugeain over the past few days now, as his spectacular hat trick against the nation of Unified Falcon put the Knights on the ground rolling towards the Finals of World Cup 61. In a fairly one-sided affair, the final score was Saugeais (actually Ruslan) 3-1 Unified Falcon. The Peregrine Falcons were able to slot one past keeper Jacques Martin in the 53rd minute, as Falcon forward Harold Nehafsaim just barely beat the offside trap to quell any thoughts of a shutout. Many critics have been calling for the stepping down the of 37 year old keeper, but manager Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa has stood by his veteran keeper, saying that "he is the backbone of the team, the leadership we need. It's like having an extra coach out on the pitch to help direct traffic and tactics."

Even so, the man of the match was unquestionably Kuzman Ruslan with his 5th international hat trick, 33 goals overall these past few years. He's no Amaechi Olsen, but he can certainly strike the ball true when he has an opening. And he was able to do just that in the 12th minute, when long passes up the right sideline found Jonathan Miles down near the corner. A high cross in the box was greeted first by the 6'2" striker's head, as it it was smashed down past the keeper's grasp for the first goal of the game. Ruslan scored his second just before halftime, when a late challenge in the box from defender Jack Qaiso led to a yellow card, and a penalty kick awarded to Saugeais. Ruslan stepped up into what seems to have been his home on the international stage, baring down on the brightly colored opponent. Stepping back a few paces, Ruslan ran up to the ball, striking it to the the left side of the net. The keeper dove that way as well, but was too low to attempt a block as the ball sailed in the top corner of the net, doubling Saugeais' lead. The trifecta of Ruslan's performance on the day came in the 77th minute. After a few back and forth passes between teammates, a large gap was spotted in the back line by Leandre Pahlke. He lasered a pass in between the defenders, catching Ruslan on a dead sprint past the back line. Receiving it in stride, his second touch was a bulleted ball to the right side of the net, putting the game out of reach for Unified Falcon.

The Knights will be taking on the 78th ranked Kiryu-shi next matchday in their first match at home, a nation that barely squeaked by against newcomers North banrodesia 1-0. The venerable Pitage Stadium in Gilley will host the contest, where Saugeais will look to continue on in their quest for a 4th straight Finals qualification, but with Aguazul demolishing the group after 2 matches, that feat will prove to be tougher than anything the Knights have ever faced before.

[Astograth]

From the Archives of RL Sports

World Cup 10

Haiti:

QUALIFIED NATIONS
CONCACAF Region (1 spot): Haiti qualifies automatically after winning the past CONCACAF Championship

:):):(;(()

America: For shame, Mexico.

Mexico: Shutupshutupshutup

France:

UEFA/CONMEBOL Playoff: Chile qualifies after the USSR withdraws.

USSR qualified above me for THIS?!

Ireland: i no rite

Soviet Socialist Republics: His RP was in poor taste, I had no choice D:<

Zaire:

CAF Region (1 spot): Zaire qualifies after winning the final round

OMGOMGOMG I might even read the rules now

Belgium: That was a tough qualifying group, but I have to hand it to the superior roleplayer. Intrigued by this 'Total Football', Netherlands, please keep it up mate!

Netherlands: I hope to. Big plans for Cruyff, and onwards Benelux right?

Luxembourg: Benelux, woo!

---

Italy:

Group 4
Italy 3-1 Haiti

Dino Zoff's 1142 minutes without receiving a goal come to an end against... Haiti. Sigh.

Haiti: good news for haitia nd cnocnafa!!!! the peopple are in the streetsa nd the kids are playinda nd the wimen are sninging evryon is happpy1 we habe ot won but weve won zoffs record :););)(;)();:)

Mexico: I'm so sorry.

Chile:

Group 1
West Germany 1-0 Chile
East Germany 2-0 Australia

Egypt is scorinating these because...?

Egypt: Non-Aligned Movement represent!

Chile: ...right

Yugoslavia:

Group 2
Yugoslavia 9-0 Zaire

Is that a record? Do I smell a record? Yes I do hahaha!

Zaire: I didn't know you could put more than three people in the box

Poland:

Group 4
Haiti 0-7 Poland

REC- oh sod off.

Brazil: Zaire, my permissions say you can do anything within reason for an actual football game. As opposed to this.

Zaire:

---

Poland: I don't like these "second round" group stages. Nevertheless, well played to West Germany... made you sweat at least. No way you're beating Netherlands' Total Football though

Brazil: Can vouch for that.

Argentina: Must admit it's out of this world.

Belgium: Told you he'd go far

Luxembourg: Benelux ho!

Netherlands: Thanks guys! Excited!!

Belgium:

(Okay, let's have a good, fair game an- PENARLTY!!)

WORLD CUP FINAL
Olympiastadion, Munich
Netherlands 1 - 2 West Germany

Well, damn.

Luxembourg: Großdeutschland, yahoo!

[Polar Islandstates]

"Evenin' Gunnar, the usual?"

"Aye, ta Yannis. Much obliged. A shot of Seasogs as well, if you don't mind. I need it after that result. Turn the radio off, will you?" answered Gunnar, closing the door of The Auld Creaky behind him and stepping inside as Yannis turned off the radio in disgust.

"...WERE SITTING PRETTY AT TWO NIL UP WITH JUST FIFTEEN MINUTES TO GO THANKS TO THOSE GOALS FROM KVITCHENKO AND LEPKA. TRAGEDY WOULD STRIKE IN THE SEVENTY-EIGHTH MINUTE HOWEVER, WITH JULIUS OYEN-SPEKKE BEING STRETCHERED OFF. ONLY A DEAD LEG FOR THE RESOLUTE STORM MAN AND HE'LL BE BACK FOR THE NEXT MATCH, BUT THE TERNS WERE LEFT SHORT-HANDED AS A RESULT. JORGEN HAUGE DEPUTISED IN DEFENCE, BUT SCHWARTZ'S FORMATION IS SO RELIANT ON FITNESS AND ALL ELEVEN PLAYERS BEING ON THE PITCH, AND SOON THE TERNS WERE OVERRUN. FLOYD SCORED IN THE EIGHTIETH MINUTE, BEFORE WEST COMPLETED MILCHAMA'S COMEBACK IN THE FIRST MINUTE OF STOPPAGE TIME WITH A DIVING HEADER TO DRAW THE SCORES LEVEL, MUCH TO THE FURY OF LARS HEGG GAMMEL. THE TERNS DO REMAIN UNBEATEN DESPITE THIS SHAKY START TO QUALIFYING HOWEVE-..." *click*

"Frustrating match, no?" said Yannis as his regular sat down.

"Oh, Thor's beard, tell me about it!" said Gunnar, exasperated and flapping his hands.

"I thought they had it."

"Me too."

"They could have closed that match out, really." said Yannis, shaking his head slowly and absent-mindedly drying a glass that had been dry a long time ago.

"Could?!" exclaimed Gunnar, "they bloody well should've, never mind could've..."

"Five goals conceded in our first two matches." tutted Yannis.

"Indeed."

"This isn't the dominant Terns defence that we saw in the Copa."

"Nope, I wonder what's happened in that squad..."

"Who can tell?" mused Yannis, "I hope that doesn't come back to bite us in the arse later on in qualifying..."

"Aye," nodded Gunnar, pausing only slightly to take a sip of the Seasogs shot he'd ordered, spilling a little on the bartop as he put the glass down, "I mean it's Milchama, so its the second seed, so I guess we can't be too upset. I mean, we didn't lose..."

"No, I know," agreed Yannis, pausing only slightly to wipe the bartop, it having started sizzling and setting off wisps of smoke where Gunnar had spilt the Seasogs, "but all the same, two points could be crucial come the end of the group stage..."

"You know-" began a voice in the darkness.

"GAH!" shouted Gunnar in fright, falling off his stool in shock.

"Oh, sorry, did I startle you?" continued the shrill voice, the owner of which revealed himself as he stepped out of the smoky shadows of the dingy pub.

"Loki's eyebrows don't do that, Larsen!" cried Gunnar from a small pool of Grogg that had once been in his glass.

"My humble apologies." said Larsen without the slightest hint of amusement in his voice, offering a hand to help Gunnar up.

"Can't you just sit at the bar like a normal pers-... stop giggling, Yannis." grumbled Gunnar as he dusted himself off.

"Anyway, what I was going to say is that there is precedent for this kind of result becoming crucial in the later stages of a tournament." continued Larsen.

"Well yeah, all points count at the end of the tournament, don't they?" said Gunnar, unimpressed by this particular piece of insight.

"Yes, but, this kind of result in particular..."



HEAVY FAVOURITES
In 1919, the Victorrinn league was just beginning to find its legs, with Resolute Storm 1913 FC established as the dominant side in the state. Formed in 1913 as their name suggests, Resolute Storm were a merger of several military sides when the rule banning them in the league was passed in 1912. Those players who remained true amateurs were allowed to stay, and members of the naval exercise programmes were forbidden from participating in the league whilst they were in armed service, and, in effect, paid by the state to stay fit and battle-ready. The remainder of the players had seasons of training with the naval sides however, and as a result quickly became one of the teams to beat, rising to dominate the early seasons of the Victorrinn league along with Sporting Club Aasiaat 87 and McAvery Centurions.

Key retirements in the later two teams in the lead up to the 1919 season meant that Resolute Storm were heavy favourite to retain the title they won in the 1918 season, and went into their second game of the season against Krykkjesund Olympic confident of victory after a 5-0 win over White Bears McAvery in their first match. Vital to Storm's plans was the outstanding midfielder of his generation, and the first ever captain of a Victorrinn international side, Timmo Bykovsky. The tall midfielder made a name for himself by pioneering the hatchet man role played by many midfielders in the modern game. He had been their man of the season in the previous two campaigns, and the 1919 season started with many fans expecting the same outcome.

PLUCKY ALSO-RANS
Krykkjesund Olympic, founded three years prior to Storm, had never covered themselves with glory. The town of Krykkjesund was just a small fishing town at the time, and the club was not much more than the collection of most of the eligible adults with an interest in playing the game that happened to live in the town. The 1919 season would prove to be something of a turning point for Olympic however, and they began a period of challenging for titles on a regular basis not long after. The catalysts for this breakthrough were two brothers playing left and right wing attack, Victor and Igor Aune, and aged 22 and 20 they would make their debut for Olympic in this match away at Storm.

Nonetheless, Olympic were not expected to make an impact on the league that season, particularly not away at Resolute Storm, and especially after a heavy 4-1 defeat to McAvery Centurions in their opening fixture. True to predictions, Bykovsky was in fine form in the first half, and goals from Iulian Werba and Victor Haglund put Storm well in control of the match. The plucky Olympic side were not done however, and a dynamic second half display saw both Auna brothers score a goal in the final ten minutes following an injury to Bykovsky. The final whistle went, and the record Storm crowd ran onto the pitch and started tearing up the turf, angry that their club had not been able to pull off the win against strong, but nonetheless weaker opposition.

AFTERMATH
The game went on to have a significant impact upon the rest of the league. The draw against a perceived lesser side revealed a chink in the armour of invincibility that had begun to surround Storm, and teams were no longer scared of their visits. Sporting Club Aasiaat 87 came close to stealing the title, those two points dropped for Storm at home to Olympic almost allowing the oldest club in the nation to take back a trophy they hadn't won in years. The outcome was out of Storm's hands by this point, and only another spirited performance from Olympic against Sporting Club in the last match of the season meant Storm could retain their title.

The match send waves around the Valhallan region however, as larger clubs began to realise that they were still fallible against the smaller ones. They took their training more seriously as a result, and whilst the smaller clubs would continue to get results, the first steps towards the investment and title chasing that would lead to professionalism were underway. Krykkjesund Olympic would remain amateur however, and are famously one of the oldest clubs around today.



"So, the moral of the story is...?" asked Yannis.

"That's its not all over yet, and they may yet do us a favour later on." replied Larsen, smugly.

"But Milchama aren't an early Polarian club that has forever shunned professionalism?" said Gunnar, slowly and sceptically.

"Well, no, but there's always th-..." began Larsen, before pausing and sniffing the air gently, "...say, can you smell burning?"

Gunnar and Yannis looked at each.

"Oh shit, the Seasogs!"

[Kiryu-shi]

[excerpted from a press release published by the an amateur news service in Kiryu-shi]

The Kiryu-shi national football team has opened its training to the general public for the first time in recent history, holding their first completely open practice session. The practice, held the morning two days earlier before the national team’s scheduled flight to Saugeais, consisted of fairly standard drills followed by a full nine on nine scrimmage that lasted for 45 minutes. The pitch was a practice field near the construction the new national stadium in Sakaino, and the new walls of the stadium provided a dramatic backdrop for the spectators lining the rope fence that surrounded the field. Although only the first 1,000 people were allowed access to the field, along with media members, the crowd was energetic and loud throughout the duration.

With the close attention focused on the players, and the assembled crowd calling out to the players there seemed to be a significant amount of nervous jitters at the beginning, with players routinely losing the ball on their first touch in fairly standard possession and pass drills. There were several valiant attempts to lighten and loosen the mood, particularly with veteran reserve Patrick Robertson casually attempting tricks significantly beyond the capability of any footballer and dramatically failing time and time again, but the mood remained tense through the first few minutes. The training quickly progressed to a fairly complex passing, receiving, and turning drill which necessitated a fair amount of concentration and quick movement. The orchestrated way in which the team ran the drill suggested that it was one of their most common warmup activities, as the three young ball-boys that they had on hand didn’t seem to have much work to do gathering stray passes. Regardless, coach Mayberry’s yelling suggested that it was still not their sharpest effort, an impression amplified when a stray pass by Connor Boyle ricocheted off reserve midfielder Freddy Rombout’s foot and rocketed towards the media area, scattering more than a couple journalists.

While the captain of the squad, Olive Ferguson, barked commands during the drills, her performance was not the smoothest. She appeared a step slower than most of her compatriots, and while she managed to maintain her composure, a feat that the rest of the team struggled with, her form and stamina seemed a bit off, as she seemed significantly more out of breath by the end of the activity than anyone else. With her fitness already in doubt coming off of surgery, it will be interesting to see if she holds up throughout the grueling upcoming schedule.

Meanwhile, the two stars of the squad, Samantha DeCastro and Tziganes d'Arányi both drew loud cheers during the drills, as they showed off some incredible athleticism receiving and controlling difficult passes as teammates seemed to delight in challenging the two of them as much as possible. While the team has faced criticism for only managing one goal in the first match of qualifying, little of that was directed towards either of the two forwards, who took advantage of extremely limited chances. The entire team played hesitantly, rarely moving the ball into the North Banrodesia half.

The two forwards were separated for the scrimmage, however, as the squads, split as follows:
Squad A- Giles— Ferguson, Takenomi, Yu — Rombout, McGuinness, Boyle, Griffith — DeCastro
Squad B- Yasumu —Hamilton, Yume, Meer — Feingold, Barnes, Robertson, Nakamura — d’Arányi
The two teams played aggressively in front of the crowd, as both squads seemed fairly loose. The play even seemed a bit chippy, as the A side’s team seemed to make strong challenges against the younger B side’s attackers. Nakamura was knocked off the ball on questionable challenges by Takenomi several times before Lidia Barnes took him aside and had a word with him. With the free-flowing game with plenty of room to maneuver, however, the drama of the match itself began to overtake any personal feelings the squads had, as DeCastro was the first to find the net with a beautiful goal created off a McGuinness cross. She would go on to score two more goals, leading all scorers with three goals in the forty five minutes. The A squad, however, didn’t manage to win, as two goals each by Barnes and Feingold, combined with a nicely placed goal by Boyle, led to a four-four match with time winding down. As the crowd roared with anticipation, d’Arányi took over with time winding down, cutting around Ferguson before chipping a beautiful ball over a sliding Yu that gently bent over the keeper’s fingertips as Giles dove helplessly toward the ball. The ball found the net, and the crowd roared; team B proved victorious as the open session ended.

With the squad set to face Saugeais, it’ll be interesting to see if the team is able to capitalize on the offensive strength that the team showcased. Likewise, if the team defending is anywhere near the level it was today they could be in for an extremely disappointing loss.

[Legalese]

“Aaaah!” screamed Stan. “Up! Up! Up!”

Kelvin took off, moving from a jog to a dead-run sprint. Thirty seconds passed, then sixty, at which point he slowed his pace back to a jog. Two minutes later, the cycle repeated, marked by varying music: speed metal for the sprints, and a nice relaxing hard rock for the jog - with a recording helpfully provided by his national teammate and keeper to divide the two.

Malecki Federal Park had much to offer for the average Legalite and occasional foreign traveler - the latter admittedly few and far between. Consisting of roughly 7,000 acres of land, the park consisted of lush forests, scenic hiking trails, as well as the Cliffs of Java fraught with the beauty of a national treasure, as well as the danger of a long drop. When climbing the cliffs, the locals liked to say, it wasn’t the drop that was the problem. The landing, however...

The Doubleshot Trail ran an elliptical shape around the park, the name an indication of the two descents into the cliffside, each followed by a subsequent incline. Adding to the challenge, especially for those who follow the intended counter-clockwise direction of the trail, was The Chaser - a 6% grade incline up the final quarter mile. This feature, when combined with the demanding dips and climbs through the cliffs, contributed heavily to the park’s declaring the difficulty rating for this 3.4 mile trail as high.

In most cases, they’d be right - though for a professional footballer, one might expect them to barely break a sweat on it. Then again, few professional footballers would attempt their “Power Hour” - a sixty-minute interval training run - on the trail.

As it was, only a few folks were on the trail when Kelvin had started forty minutes before, including a couple on a more leisurely pace.

“Honey, was that him?” Becky said after Kelvin passed by.

Charlie paused for a moment, reflecting on image.

“Yeah, it had to be,” he finally said. “I mean, who else would wear shades on a day like this?”

He motioned to the sky, and to the grey clouds above, proving the weatherman’s report of Mostly Cloudy to be spot on.

“Why does he wear them all the time?” Becky asked.

Charlie shrugged. “No idea. I bet he’d wear them in games, too, if they’d let him.”

-----

“Three to go!” Stan yelled. “Make it count!”

Kelvin didn’t take off instantly, jogging for a moment to track just who had the ball - there, it’s Monte, other field. There’s Garry, should be to him over the middle, then I just need to get clear and I’m home free.

He stared at his mark, a defender with the number 3 on his shorts. Young one, there he thought, ignoring the fact that the kid was just a year behind him. Besides, it’s experience that matters.

As the speed metal revved up in his head, Kelvin could only think of one thing: I got this.

A flash of black takes off, leaving his defender in the dust. In the middle, Maharry sees the action, and makes the play, a well-timed ball, perfectly placed for him. Kelvin watches the last defender back and runs by, knowing that Garry will time this just right.

The ball bounces just outside the area, just in time to the touch. Kelvin reaches it, makes three steps in, clears the keeper, and fires.

The shot caroms off the right post, and bounces out of play. The home crowd jeers, one minor bit of pleasure in what is about to be a 2-1 loss for them, and a victory for the visiting Legalites.

Denied... by myself.

He tries to smile - after all, this only would’ve been goal number three for the match, a hat-trick to open qualifying - but inside those blue eyes, a fire burns.

[Arcadian Islands]

Six of the best

The Satinbirds shocked Phoenigetuzstha overnight with a flawless display of fine footwork and free flowing football. Phoenigetuzstha arrived in Esperance as strong favourites for the match, however after ninety minutes of Arcadian domination they were left wondering where their campaign will go from here. The strong victory by the Arcadian hosts will perhaps remind nations across all qualifying groups that there are no certainties in international football and similarly, no truly easy games. Whilst many sides may be ranked in the depths of oblivion, they can still be as passionate as any champion and can bite any side not willing to show adequate respect to the unknowns and intricacies of international football.

Whether it was through sheer arrogance, or as reported a religious festival 'Shâdi az Melqart', only three Phoenigetuzsthan players bothered to show for the clash. As a result, there were several late changes to the starting team, with Anstis replacing Croker, Marshall taking Jamet's position in the center of defense, and Williams and Kennedy slotting in for Lamanon and Dennett respectively in the middle of the pitch.

The visitors stood little chance against their many numbered hosts as they huddled in vain to defend their goal. By the half, all six goals had already been pushed past the hapless Jambleev Khairullian, including a brace from d'Entrecasteaux within the first quarter of an hour and a long range speculator from Rexley Sese Aala.

Satisfied with the scoreline after forty five minutes, Moro ordered only three players return to the pitch for the second half, with all three allowed substitutions used for this purpose. Croker, Jamet and Travelli took to the field and defended the Arcadian goal against the exhausted trio from Phoenigetuzstha. Whilst this turned out to be a quite interesting display at times, the fans at the EFS did seem slightly disappointed that Moro's men did not go on with the job. Only time will reveal whether this display of sportsmanship will come back to bite Moro and the Satinbirds.

The unexpected win in Esperance has seen the Satinbirds take top spot in their group even though they are expected to be at the top end only briefly. A bye in the next round will perhaps prove a blessing or a curse; the team will use free round to continue developing their cohesion and build on the result in Esperance, however a week off after such an unlikely victory may stifle any momentum the team could have capitalised on. After their bye the Satinbirds will host the Harvest Mice from Free South Califas at Brookedale Stadium in Arcadia; whilst another tough match for the Arcadian team they will be spurred on by a vocal home crowd who will be eager to see what else these lads can do.

Match Summary
@ Esperance Football Stadium, Esperance, Arcadian Islands
Att: 60,227

---

Arcadian Islands(6) 6 - 0 (0) Phoenigetuzstha

d'Entrecasteaux 3', 14'; Sully 11'; Williams 24'; Fitzgerald 32'; Sese Aala 41'

-

Yellow Cards

-

-

Satinbirds - What Are They?
Some of our international readers are surely wondering; what is this Satinbird that the Arcadian Islands national football team is named after?

The Satinbird, originally thought to be an Arcadian Bird-of-paradise, is a polygynous, sexually dimorphic, frugivore songbird found in lowland and montane tropical forests across the Arcadian archipelago. The Satinbird is best known for the highly imitative song uttered by males, and very occasionally by females. Each male incorporates imitations of a wide range of other birds into its songs, sometime including imitations of up to 100 other species into its song. All learning seems to take place in the summer the bird is hatched; the calls of birds heard in subsequent years are not added to the Satinbird's repertoire. Females may utter a simple, non-imitative song, and a range of other calls are also occasionally used. Closely related to fellow passerine avians, the Bowerbirds, there are three local varieties of the species; Blue-breasted, Red-tailed and Little Satinbirds, all of which are endemic to the Arcadian Islands.

[Stachland and Minor Outlying Islands]

Stachland Reds

Reds Look to Regroup Next Match Against Boyznichov
by Witold Elliott

After a 4-0 drubbing on the road against Valladares, the Reds will be looking to recover with a match at home against Boyznichov.

The loss was one of the worst the Reds have suffered since they entered international competition in Baptism of Fire 42. Only two other defeats of that magnitude—both against Cassadaigua, and both occurring during World Cup 55 qualifying—are well-remembered by Reds fans.

“I guess, in a lot of ways, this team is a lot like the World Cup 55 team,” Elzbieta Wolszan supposed. “A lot of us are relatively inexperienced, and we have seven players who are new to the squad altogether. It’s a solid squad, but it’s natural we’ll have some issues early on, adapting to competing without Everett and Janus.”

“We’re already looking ahead to our next match at Generalife Union Arena,” coach Theodore Czacki said. “We’ll be ready to play Boyznichov and get right back in the race for first in Group Eleven. And we’ll certainly be looking forward to Valladares’ return trip to Chevronia.”

Stachland and Camerania Look to Form a United Football League
by Witold Elliott

The Stachland Football Federation released a statement yesterday saying that they are looking into unifying the twenty-one teams of Stachland’s National Series with the seven teams of Camerania’s newly-founded domestic league to create a new association that spans the Atargatic Sea separating the two nations.

“We have a lot of history with Camerania, and when they approached us about our club teams playing together, we realized that it was a chance to advance the sport in both nations,” announced SFF press representative A.J. Rossum.

Those that are students of history will know that the modern nation of Stachland originates with several waves of settlers who traversed the Atargatic Sea from Camerania to Stachland nearly eight hundred years ago, founding extensive settlements on the Western Island and establishing outposts on the Eastern Island and in the Eurybiatic Ocean to Stachland’s west.

Though the nation was largely isolated for a number of years, Stachlandic sailors would reestablish contact with the “mother country” during the reign of King Justin II, and trade routes and diplomatic relations were soon coordinated and formalized.

The league would be formed by combining the National Series’ Eastern Conference with the seven Cameranian teams, while the Central and Western Conferences would also be combined to form two super-conferences of fourteen teams each. The tentative schedule would call for two matches to be played intra-conference between each team, and one inter-conference between each team, for a total of forty matches.

Proposed Stachlandic-Cameranian United League
Conference #1
Bervettica Masons
Bruntesville Oysters
Burgundy City Stars
Cardrake Fronds
Everett Nationals
Gorrat Islanders
Gurchar Mariners
Ingara Hexagons
Korven Lynx
Lipachi White Falcons
Magnolia Walruses
Oken Elk
Tremmino Trebuchets
Wilhelmsborg Titans

Conference #2
Blondesbury Flash
Brunside Arrows
Bruntesville Gliders
Chevrin Nova
Chevronia Capitals
Chevronia Stars
DiKalbe Thunder Devils
Gotto Stingers
Gurchar Penguins
Manju Island Kingfishers
Prubel City Flames
Sasnak Mountain Cats
Wolseley Generals
Wolseley Mastodons

[Milchama]

"Oh my God!"

"What a match!"

"Two goals so late"

"Carry West eizeh goal, and what a cross by Roe"

"Really and a draw against the Terns"

"I definitely didn't see it coming"

"Especially after those first 78 minutes"

"Did the Warriors even have a chance?"

"I'm not sure, I'm sure there was something but it didn't seem like it"

"Yeah, I feel like Milchama was lucky to be down only 2-0"

"Seriously, and then suddenly the lights came on"

"Yeah they remembered how to attack"

"But actually, those last 10 minutes, it could have been 4"

"The one off the post, the one just wide, the great save, just attack after attack"

"It could have been great"

"Instead it was merely awesome"

"Anyway we got the draw and are in first place after 2 games in the group"

"Really that's the goal"

"Yep, if qualifying ended today, we're in"

"Yep and that's awesome"

"And our toughest game of the first half ended in a draw. We're going to win"

"First the group, then the World Cup!"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Let's Go Milchama!"

[Jeru FC]

Jeru FC assistant coach Melody Pond and player Felicia Day

Felicia: Pondy, were you in Mel's new video?
Melody: Who's Mel?
Felicia: Oh, Princess Melody. We call her Mel
Melody: What do you call me then?
Felicia: Pondy
Melody: Oh, OK

Felicia: Anyway we heard you were.
Melody: I was.
Felicia: But we looked, we didn't see your face.
Melody: Well, you didn't see my face.
Felicia: Ha, I thought you were girl with big butt.
Melody: Yes, that's me.

Felicia: How did get that job
Melody: Oh the Princess waved lots of money at me and she's my friend
Felicia: Well, I'm happy to help out in the next one.
Melody: You like being on TV
Felicia: Yes
Melody: Well, I'm bit shy.

Felicia: Us girls will be happy to work for free
Melody: You lot just love attention
Felicia: Well, we only live once
Melody: I don't want to be infamous
Felicia: Too late Pondy, look at your best friend
Melody: I know

Felicia: If she's doing a new video, we're ready to help
Melody: She's working on a new one in between qualification
Felicia: She working on album?
Melody: No, the princess is too busy
Felicia: Us girls have some songs we think she could use.
Melody: That's scary

Felicia: We're alright. They are ... sort of clean.
Melody: I don't want to know.

[Blouman Empire]

THE DAILY REVIEW

ANCAP THE SUPER SUB

The substitution of Ancap in the 75th minute proved to be the saving move by coach Harry Malsomp that allowed the Empire to claw back a 2 goal deficit and secure a hard fought draw. The Eagles full of confidence after their last game got off to a poor start conceding within the first 5 minutes as Gyatso-Kai dominated play and assaulted the Empire's goal over the next 20 minutes. The Empire managed to get their first shot on goal in the 35th minute with a misguided shot from Goodfellow. While the Eagles lifted their performance they were unable to seriously give the Gyatso-Kai defence a scare instead conceding their second goal in the 44th minute.

The second half continued much the same way as the first with Gyatso-Kai dominating the game allowing them to score their 3rd goal in 50th minute. Malsomp subbed off of Milken for Ancap in the 75th minute which proved to be the game changer as Ancap scored in the 77th minute off a corner. This goal lifted up the spirits of the Eagles who seemed to find some form and started to control the game. This resurgence led to Ancap scoring his second goal in the 81st minute with a blast from outside the box and into the top left hand corner. The last 3 minutes of the game saw 10 shots on goal by the Empire as a tiring Gyatso-Kai fought hard against a reinvigorated Empire. In the final minute of injury time Ancap sent a low cross into the box that allowed Schmitz to score bringing the final score to 3-3.

In a post game interview Captain Brigss-Way both praised and criticised the team, stating that while it was a critical game against a high ranked team and getting the point over them was important the way the team played for most of the game was not qualifying material. Coach Malsomp was more crictical of the team's performance. In a short press conference he mentioned that the back line would continue to be improved on and he hinted that some players may need to be moved to the bench.

[Yesopalitha]

Sparky's Corner

Strange, ain't it? Having a BYE day so early? That's what I thought, but when there are nine teams a group, I guess it's unavoidable. Still, it'd be better to have it perhaps midway through at match four or match five, or perhaps at the end in match nine, but we weren't as lucky this time around.

What do I think about our chances of qualifying? Honestly? Well, the games that will truly decide that will be the ones against Amstaad & Bierlin and Ossidiacqua. Astograth will be a tough nut to crack, but if we defeat the two immediate challengers to our second spot, we should be able to get to the place where one game will decide whether we qualify or not. Just getting to that point will be the best finish in our nation's history. Being ranked in the top fifty is one thing; playing like you deserve it will be another.

Who do I think is the best player on the squad? HVR still has the edge. Yes, Nadya has the pure speed. Yes, Isaac has mind-blowing technique. Yes, her sister Jane is more instinctive. However, Hilary Vander Rox just creates magic out there on the field. She causes things to happen that you say couldn't happen. Eight years ago, she was a young captain of a new squad in the World Cup. Now, she's the leader of this team that may actually surprise a few and crash the party that the top seeds have planned.

Who is the key for this team to play well? Jonah Calhoun. If he's on key, the defense can play a bit more up, which means the five-man midfield can play a bit more up, which means the Flames can have a bit more shots on goal. Sir James has told us numerous times that Jonah dictates just how aggressively they will attack the other side of the field. Really, if the goalkeeper is on key, there is no way that the Flames can be beaten out there. Not one.

What's my favorite part of this cycle? Well... I just love going to our home stadium. The Sacred Heart is a great venue, and I can't go there without feeling proud of our nation's success and how far that we've come from being the war-torn nation that we were...

It's such an honor to cover this team. I love my job.

Sparky out. Catch the Flames against Equatorial Sarmen!

[Equestrian States]

ESPN: Equestrian Sports Programming Network
A Foul-Filled Draw for the Equestrian States
By Steve McNotapony

CANTERLOT - After the Equestrian States' last disappointing draw and the various threats made by Head Coach Twilight Striker, one would think that the team would be able to pull its act together at home against the New Roman Imperialists. But unfortunately, it seems that events were conspiring against the Equestrians as the team was hit hard during the first half of play with fouls and yellow cards. I don't usually blame the referees for the failings of teams, but this match was a bit ridiculous.

Things went wrong early, with Fire Dash receiving a yellow card in the second minute of play. After I re-watched the play leading up to his yellow card over a dozen times I was still unable to figure out why he had been given a yellow card instead of merely a foul. Thunderlane, the other Equestrian starter in the forward position, would also receive a yellow card just seven minutes later. While his was a less-questionable call due to the fact that Eustorgio Rossi seemed to actually be injured rather faking his pain as so many human players do.

It didn't help the Equestrian cause that the New Roman Imperialists were dominant in the first half, with the majority of the team's shots coming in the first 45 minutes of play (13 of 19). With the team taking so many shots, it was inevitable that one would get by the hard-pressed Equestrian defense. In the 26th minute, Danilo Sagese, a striker, would put the ball past High Soarin' on a header into the corner of the goal. The Equestrian States now trailed for the first time in the World Cup 61 campaign. But the team couldn't get its momentum in motion and went into the locker room trailing by one.

After the break, the team emerged looking determined, but the fans in the crowd were much quieter after having their hopes for a blowout basically crushed in the first half. Although the Equestrians would establish control of the ball in the second half, preventing the New Roman Imperialists from putting as much pressure on the defense, the team was unable to score on any of its shots. Additionally, Apple Jack's yellow card in the 56th minute was another setback for the team.

The clock wore on, every minute bringing the Equestrian States closer to a morale-crushing defeat. Slowly, the Equestrians passed the New Roman Imperialists on shots and possession, but still lacked the equalizer. Finally, in the 81st minute, a corner kick from Starlight Sparkle found Thunderlane's front hooves and the match was even. While the team would press on, looking for a go-ahead goal and indeed having one negated by an offsides call, the final minutes ticked away and the whistle would blow. The Equestrian States had earned a draw, but one couldn't tell by the looks on the players faces. The two-game homestand had looked like the perfect opportunity for the team to go up in the group early, but had quickly turned into a nightmare.

Twilight Striker would refuse to give a post-game interview, brushing aside reporters with an angry glare. While I have no way to confirm this, from the shouts inside of the locker room, it sounded like it was a good thing that she had declined. The team will now travel to face Bitternea before returning to the Equestrian States to face the expected group runner-up, Cosumar.

Equestrian States 1-1 The New Roman Imperialists
Thunderlane '81 - Scoring - Danilo Sagese '26
55% - Possession - 45%
21 - Shots - 19
7 - On Goal - 6
8 - Fouls - 4
2 - Corners - 2
6 - Offside - 4
3 - Yellow Cards - 0
0 - Red Cards - 0