The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Excidium Planetis]

Excidian Security Room

"Negative, Command. The bomb deployed, all right, but another Type II Reality Rift occurred and fixed everything. We'll have to abort, or else a potential Type III may occur."

[Imperium Anglorum]

Excidian Security Room

"Negative, Command. The bomb deployed, all right, but another Type II Reality Rift occurred and fixed everything. We'll have to abort, or else a potential Type III may occur."

OOC: Dafuq are these types?

[Excidium Planetis]

Excidian Security Room

"Negative, Command. The bomb deployed, all right, but another Type II Reality Rift occurred and fixed everything. We'll have to abort, or else a potential Type III may occur."

OOC: Dafuq are these types?

OOC:
Type I - A simple fourth wall break, in this case, Separatist Peoples' comment about his being a game, or in other cases, Schultz seeing the text of a post, or "hearing" the narration "Schultz says" when playing back a sound recording.

Type II - Metagaming. Essentially the opposite of a Type I, where events outside the RP begin affecting the RP. In this case, my Meta-bomb breaking the page text, and then getting edited by Luna Amore.

Type III - Refers to the destruction of RP through moderator action, such as deletion of posts, thread locks, or DEATs. There are no examples in Excidian canon of this happening.

[Yeraennus]

Tanzä shrinks further into the corner of the bar, any measure of composure he had demonstrated disappearing as he watched the on-going chaos unfold. He swiftly downed the rest of the bottle of bourbon, apparently forgotten as this talk of 'reality rifts' bounced back and forth between the ambassadors more used to the subject. He raised his hand, not unlike a timid schoolboy, stammered for a second, failing to say anything intelligible, and then lowered his hand.

[Taigawa]

"All this talk of reality rifts and no one has answered my question. What is the newest thing up for debate? Councilor Valeera told me this was a den of politics before my ship jumped here."

[Excidium Planetis]

OOC:
Nobody in the Bar has said anything about Reality Rifts... unless this is another instance of a Type I Reality Rift, and the characters can now hear OOC conversation?

[New Dukaine]

Pama hears whispers and says "WAIT. NATIONSTATES is a game? What am I doing with my LIFE?

[Imperium Anglorum]

OOC:
Nobody in the Bar has said anything about Reality Rifts... unless this is another instance of a Type I Reality Rift, and the characters can now hear OOC conversation?

OOC: Chalk it up to some digital spying on the EP security room.

[Separatist Peoples]

Bell takes a long hard look at the three men. He waves over a bartender and acquired another three glasses and a bottle.

"Gentlemen, please, have a drink. I'm not going to resist arrest, and this isn't my first rodeo with a kidnapping. Might as well have a drink while telling me all about your plan."

He takes a drink.

Again, he thinks. How does this keep happening to me? What is this, the third time? Is it my cologne? Is it the goat? I bet it's the damn goat!

"Is this about the military-grade goat?"

"Mr. Bell, all we ask is your...cooperation." The man takes off his glasses and gives Bell a cold stare. It appears that your goat has been living two lives, Mr. Bell. One of these has a future. The other--"

Permission Granted. That's all the message said. The chief of security who doesn't yet have a name got up and went over to a strange device. He pressed a few buttons on it.

A robotic voice responded to the command. "Meta-bomb deployed." A Type II Reality Rift was created.

The man's eyes glint with a combination of fear and anger. He draws a handgun and fires directly at Bell's head. The bullet exits the chamber without being changed into anything non-lethal, but it slows immediately to a crawl. The bullet travels through the air slowly, leaving ripples in the air behind it.

"What?" the man snarls. His men flicker out of existence around him. The remaining man stumbles back and fires his gun again and again, emptying it of bullets. All of them slow down and almost stop in place along their trajectories.

"No! It's not possible!" The man tries to get up, but his foot flickers away for a moment, sending him to the ground again. He turns to face Bell as his form flickers in and out. "I will have that goat, Mr. Bell." Then he disappears.

Ogenbond stares in confusion for a moment. "Huh." He reaches over and plucks a bullet from the air. "That isn't normal, is it?"

"Uh, well, what's your definition of normal these days, Ogenbond? In the general way of things, no. That was not normal at all. For the Strangers' Bar? On a scale of one to Comic Book Reality, that probably rates about a three."

Bell fidgets uncomfortably for a few seconds. "I think I need to go find my goat and make sure he's alright."

[Herby]

Bell fidgets uncomfortably for a few seconds. "I think I need to go find my goat and make sure he's alright."

Zzzzzzzzzooooooooma zooma zoom! Gang way peeps!

Herby screeches to a halt in front of Bell, the passenger door opens.

Heh heh, that was fun, Chuckster! We gotta do it again sometime. Yo yo, Benny, look who I found wandering around the courtyard chewin' up the dandy-lions?

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

(Wad Ty, the Wrapperian intern, tiptoes into the bar. He pushes his glasses up his nose, looks around, sniffs the air a bit, and---)

Zzzzzzzzzooooooooma zooma zoom! Gang way peeps!

(He jumps out of the way, mutters to himself, shrugs, and types a command into a device strapped to his wrist. He then approaches the bar.)

TY: Ummm. Neville? Two methanol cocktails and a sarsaparilla, if you please?

[Araraukar]

TY: Ummm. Neville? Two methanol cocktails and a sarsaparilla, if you please?

Janis grinned, as entertainment walked in. "Oh, hey, uh, Ty, right? I've been meaning to ask - you guys are human, right? If you're taking the methanol drinks outside the Bar, and beyond the weapons nullifiers, won't you end up poisoning Ari and Ahume?"

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

TY: Ummm. Neville? Two methanol cocktails and a sarsaparilla, if you please?

Janis grinned, as entertainment walked in. "Oh, hey, uh, Ty, right? I've been meaning to ask - you guys are human, right? If you're taking the methanol drinks outside the Bar, and beyond the weapons nullifiers, won't you end up poisoning Ari and Ahume?"

(Ty looks around -- yes, she really is talking to me -- and tries to avoid eye contact with Janis.)

TY: Ummm. I dunno. I mean, yes, we're human, but I don't think there's much methanol in it, it's mostly fruity juices. Ummm.

(Ari and Ahume enter and look around cautiously. They approach Ty and Janis.)

AHUME: Janis. What's going on?

(Ari nods at Janis, takes his drink, and approaches Herby and Bell.)

ARI: Herby. Benjamin. Chuckie. What's going on?

(Ty nervously takes his drink, looks around and, seeing no one he knows, approaches the nearest potted plant.)

TY: Umm. Hey. What's going on?

[Araraukar]

(Ari and Ahume enter and look around cautiously. They approach Ty and Janis.)

AHUME: Janis. What's going on?

"Oh, nothing," she said, with a grin that belied her words. "Was just talking to your... intern? How does that differ from an aide, by the way? Is he an ambassador-in-training?"

(Ty nervously takes his drink, looks around and, seeing no one he knows, approaches the nearest potted plant.)

TY: Umm. Hey. What's going on?

"Ahume," Janis said quietly, watching the third Wad talking to the cactus, "does Ty know about the hivemind? I mean, how it works? And that it's probably looking up his contact info to answer him via his phone or pad or whatever those communicators of yours are? Talking to houseplants is one thing, but them talking back tends to be a shock to most people."

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

(Ari and Ahume enter and look around cautiously. They approach Ty and Janis.)

AHUME: Janis. What's going on?

"Oh, nothing," she said, with a grin that belied her words. "Was just talking to your... intern? How does that differ from an aide, by the way? Is he an ambassador-in-training?"

AHUME: No, this is more of a work-study internship for Ty. He is very good at drafting and editing; his work on our last repeal was invaluable. But he really isn't ambassador material. He wants to be a speech writer; I think he'd be well-suited for that, as long as he's not the one giving the speeches.

"Ahume," Janis said quietly, watching the third Wad talking to the cactus, "does Ty know about the hivemind? I mean, how it works? And that it's probably looking up his contact info to answer him via his phone or pad or whatever those communicators of yours are? Talking to houseplants is one thing, but them talking back tends to be a shock to most people."

AHUME: Oh, he's had his "initiation" already, he knows all about the hivemind. And the talking cars, the ferrets, ogres, bears, et cetera. We had him going for awhile; we had him thinking that Steph was coming on to him. But, yes, this is the first time I've seen him try to communicate directly with.... (He frowns, then speaks quietly.) Hmmmm. Did you know, someone sent him videos of enormous plants eating cats? That... couldn't possibly be the hivemind, could it?

[Araraukar]

AHUME: No, this is more of a work-study internship for Ty. He is very good at drafting and editing; his work on our last repeal was invaluable. But he really isn't ambassador material. He wants to be a speech writer; I think he'd be well-suited for that, as long as he's not the one giving the speeches.

"Well, sometimes "ambassador material" means just that you survive long enough to pass on the message," Janis mused. "The ABC tends to deal with the whole "pecking order" issues of ambassadors in much more, shall we say, physical way. "Melee" is the word that comes to mind, though only bureaucratic weaponry is allowed. Binders, staplers, viciously sharp-edged papers, all that, you know. Clip-boards got banned last year, after someone chipped a tooth."

AHUME: Hmmmm. Did you know, someone sent him videos of enormous plants eating cats? That... couldn't possibly be the hivemind, could it?

"Nah," Janis said, making a dismissive hand gesture, swiping off one of the papers she had had stacked on the bar counter. "It seems to think all cats are sapient, and wouldn't even dream of harming them," she explained as she bent down to pick up the paper. "I'm just glad it includes humans on that no-kill list too."

She quickly shuffled the paper in its rightful place and closed the binder, which was titled "Retkikunta Liagolasiin". For anyone who could read Araraukarian, that meant "Expedition to Liagolas".

"Besides," she added, showing her teeth to Ahume, "it doesn't give warnings."

OOC notes: Janis isn't kidding about the Araraukarian Bureaucratic Corps annual melee. She's just omitting the fact that you're allowed to wear safety gear, as long as it's also office material. Metallic mesh paper baskets came into season after the tooth-chipping incident.

Also, Janis doesn't know her cat (of the WA Kitty Kops) is sapient and thinks the PPU hivemind just has a soft spot for cats and thus "elevates" them to sapiency to have a good excuse to not wanting to hurt them.

And lastly, if Liagolas ever comes back from his absence, the contents of that binder will play a big role in what we've planned.

EDITs because bah, code.

[Taigawa]

AHUME: No, this is more of a work-study internship for Ty. He is very good at drafting and editing; his work on our last repeal was invaluable. But he really isn't ambassador material. He wants to be a speech writer; I think he'd be well-suited for that, as long as he's not the one giving the speeches.

"Well, sometimes "ambassador material" means just that you survive long enough to pass on the message," Janis mused. "The ABC tends to deal with the whole "pecking order" issues of ambassadors in much more, shall we say, physical way. "Melee" is the word that comes to mind, though only bureaucratic weaponry is allowed. Binders, staplers, viciously sharp-edged papers, all that, you know. Clip-boards got banned last year, after someone chipped a tooth."

AHUME: Hmmmm. Did you know, someone sent him videos of enormous plants eating cats? That... couldn't possibly be the hivemind, could it?

"Nah," Janis said, making a dismissive hand gesture, swiping off one of the papers she had had stacked on the bar counter. "It seems to think all cats are sapient, and wouldn't even dream of harming them," she explained as she bent down to pick up the paper. "I'm just glad it includes humans on that no-kill list too."

She quickly shuffled the paper in its rightful place and closed the binder, which was titled "Retkikunta Liagolasiin". For anyone who could read Araraukarian, that meant "Expedition to Liagolas".

"Besides," she added, showing her teeth to Ahume, "it doesn't give warnings."

OOC notes: Janis isn't kidding about the Araraukarian Bureaucratic Corps annual melee. She's just omitting the fact that you're allowed to wear safety gear, as long as it's also office material. Metallic mesh paper baskets came into season after the tooth-chipping incident.

Also, Janis doesn't know his cat (of the WA Kitty Kops) is sapient and thinks the PPU hivemind just has a soft spot for cats and thus "elevates" them to sapiency to have a good excuse to not wanting to hurt them.

And lastly, if Liagolas ever comes back from his absence, the contents of that binder will play a big role in what we've planned.

EDITs because bah, code.

"So you fight each other with office supplies? That seems incrediblt inelegant and undiplomatic."

[Separatist Peoples]

Bell fidgets uncomfortably for a few seconds. "I think I need to go find my goat and make sure he's alright."

Zzzzzzzzzooooooooma zooma zoom! Gang way peeps!

Herby screeches to a halt in front of Bell, the passenger door opens.

Heh heh, that was fun, Chuckster! We gotta do it again sometime. Yo yo, Benny, look who I found wandering around the courtyard chewin' up the dandy-lions?

"Thanks, Herby, I appreciate it. Want a glass?" Bell holds up his methanol with one hand while scratching Chuckie behind his horns with the other.

"Who's a good goat?" he asks in a baby voice. "Probably not you, but I'll scratch you anyway!"

"So you fight each other with office supplies? That seems incrediblt inelegant and undiplomatic."

"It's the General Assembly, did you really expect any different?"

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

"Well, sometimes "ambassador material" means just that you survive long enough to pass on the message," Janis mused. "The ABC tends to deal with the whole "pecking order" issues of ambassadors in much more, shall we say, physical way. "Melee" is the word that comes to mind, though only bureaucratic weaponry is allowed. Binders, staplers, viciously sharp-edged papers, all that, you know. Clip-boards got banned last year, after someone chipped a tooth."

"So you fight each other with office supplies? That seems incrediblt inelegant and undiplomatic."

(Ahume, noting the presence of another ambassador, one whom he's never met, mumbles something inaudible to Janis.)

---

TY: (still talking to the plant) ...so, then, ummm, in this other video, this calico cat is standing on its hind legs, swatting at this giant, leafy plant, looks kind of like an overgrown philodendron, and then suddenly.... Ummm. Do you suppose under this new resolution, that this would be outlawed as animal cruelty? I mean, obviously, these plants are carnivores, so, ummm. Anyway, in another video....

[Taigawa]

Zzzzzzzzzooooooooma zooma zoom! Gang way peeps!

Herby screeches to a halt in front of Bell, the passenger door opens.

Heh heh, that was fun, Chuckster! We gotta do it again sometime. Yo yo, Benny, look who I found wandering around the courtyard chewin' up the dandy-lions?

"Thanks, Herby, I appreciate it. Want a glass?" Bell holds up his methanol with one hand while scratching Chuckie behind his horns with the other.

"Who's a good goat?" he asks in a baby voice. "Probably not you, but I'll scratch you anyway!"

"So you fight each other with office supplies? That seems incrediblt inelegant and undiplomatic."

"It's the General Assembly, did you really expect any different?"

"If they want to legitamently claim dominion over the Asari Republics or any other nation of which my kind are a part of, they would do good to be a civil government, not a bunch of monkeys who throw things at each other. How could you possibly expect us to take you seriously?"

[Wallenburg]

Ogenbond walks into the bar, carrying a newspaper with the headline "Six-Year Old Executed for Burning Ants".

"Oh, hello there, Wad Ahume. Hello there, Wad Ty. Ambassador Bell. Ambassador Leveret. What's this about office fighting? I'm telling you, a good old fashioned hunt is much more entertaining. You actually get to kill things."

[Andos]

Valtr walks into the bar in a suit reminiscent of a 19th century military uniform. He nods to the bar, and speaks in a thick Andan ((Think Czech)) accent. "Atmos II vintage Thurgau." He pulls out a cane and strolls over to a booth, and squats stylishly as he waits for his drink.

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

Ogenbond walks into the bar, carrying a newspaper with the headline "Six-Year Old Executed for Burning Ants".

"Oh, hello there, Wad Ahume. Hello there, Wad Ty. Ambassador Bell. Ambassador Leveret."

(Ari, feeling slighted, frowns as he notes the Wallenburgian has left out a greeting. Nevertheless, he smiles broadly.)

ARI: Ah, Ambassador Uglyblond! Nice to see you! Erm, still playing around with Photoshop, I see. "Six-Year-Old Executed". How fanciful, indeed!

(Ahume mumbles something incoherent and inaudible.)

"What's this about office fighting? I'm telling you, a good old fashioned hunt is much more entertaining. You actually get to kill things."

(Ahume mumbles something incoherent and inaudible.)

---

TY: (nods over at Ogenbond then resumes his one-sided conversation with the plant) ....so then she sends me a message asking me what I'll be doing when my appointment is up, and I'm thinking, is she talking about me and her, or is she talking about professionally? Ummm, I can't figure it out, so I haven't responded to her yet, which is probably cheesing her off a bit....

[Wallenburg]

Ogenbond walks into the bar, carrying a newspaper with the headline "Six-Year Old Executed for Burning Ants".

"Oh, hello there, Wad Ahume. Hello there, Wad Ty. Ambassador Bell. Ambassador Leveret."

(Ari, feeling slighted, frowns as he notes the Wallenburgian has left out a greeting. Nevertheless, he smiles broadly.)

ARI: Ah, Ambassador Uglyblond! Nice to see you! Erm, still playing around with Photoshop, I see. "Six-Year-Old Executed". How fanciful, indeed!

"Ah, hello, Wad Ari!" smiles Ogenbond, trying to ignore that Ty is talking to a plant. "Good to see you. Now, what do you mean by 'photo shop'?"

He sits down across from Ari, putting the newspaper on a table.

[Separatist Peoples]

"If they want to legitamently claim dominion over the Asari Republics or any other nation of which my kind are a part of, they would do good to be a civil government, not a bunch of monkeys who throw things at each other. How could you possibly expect us to take you seriously?"

"As a collection of thing-throwing monkeys, humanity has done well for itself. I've always taken the stationary here pretty seriously. It can leave some incredible paper cuts, after all."

Ogenbond walks into the bar, carrying a newspaper with the headline "Six-Year Old Executed for Burning Ants".

"Oh, hello there, Wad Ahume. Hello there, Wad Ty. Ambassador Bell. Ambassador Leveret. What's this about office fighting? I'm telling you, a good old fashioned hunt is much more entertaining. You actually get to kill things."

"Erm...Ogenbond...are you well?"