[Draft] Housecat Memorandum

[Imperium Anglorum]

Housecat Memorandum
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Mild

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Recalling this Assembly's recent passage of 'Prohibiting Animal Abuse' and its unfortunate repeal,

Acknowledging that action must be taken to prevent animal abuse,

Believing that the protection of house-cats is the greatest means to that end,

Confident that house-cats are the best animal in the world and that they are superior to all sorts of animals, such as dogs, rabbits, ferrets, hippos, etc.

The World Assembly;

1. Defines 'house-cat', for the purposes of this resolution, as military-grade weapons and feline animals of varying sizes with tabby coats;
   
   
2. Defines 'abuse', for the purposes of this resolution, as 'the action of treating with cruelty or violence against the house-cat and its nature';
   
   
3. Prohibits the trade of house-cats which are violating, in the opinion of the seller's government, World Assembly resolutions on human rights and genocide for the sake of reducing the health and wellbeing of their people so that these World Assembled nations may protect and defend freedom everywhere;
   
   
4. Urges governments to take action on this front through border controls and screening at ports of entry to prevent house-cats from being unnecessary intercepted or prevented from fulfilling their true nature;
   
   
5. Asserts with or without proof that house-cats are to be believed to be better than other sorts of animal and that they are to be recognised as sentient by all World Assembly nations; and thus, requiring of all the protections given to other sentients;
   
   
6. Requires all member nations to create a commission which is staffed by enough literate educated teachers to explain to every single person in the nation the glory and power of the house-cat.

This is no joke. I'm open to comments. Also, this will be submitted after comments are suitably finished along with a campaign to match.

[Icrum]

Obvious bias is obvious.

But it does seem well written.

[Tinfect]

"The Imperium gives its full Support. Good luck to you, Ambassador."

[Excidium Planetis]

10/10 would vote fo-

Waitvv flippinb minhte!

Defines house-cat as military grade weapons and then prohibits trade of house-cats? This would kill my Arms Industry!

AGAINST until changes to one or both of those clauses are made.

[Caracasus]

We would like to see something here about litter-changing and frequency of said changing.

[Wrapper]

This is one big fat silly joke

Fixed that for you. That said, if you do insist on proceeding, perhaps you should also add a blocker allowing catnip to be excluded from any and all future legislation, incorporate some kind of recognition of crazy cat ladies everywhere, and revise your definition of house-cat to include any sentient beings who think they are cats even if they are really just little dogs. Or piglets. Or hamsters. Oh, but not squirrels, that would be just too fucking weird.

[Imperium Anglorum]

This is one big fat silly joke

Fixed that for you. That said, if you do insist on proceeding, perhaps you should also add a blocker allowing catnip to be excluded from any and all future legislation, incorporate some kind of recognition of crazy cat ladies everywhere, and revise your definition of house-cat to include any sentient beings who think they are cats even if they are really just little dogs. Or piglets. Or hamsters. Oh, but not squirrels, that would be just too fucking weird.

This is my replacement for Prohibiting Animal Abuse. It is no joke. I'm taking it just as seriously as I took the original resolution.

[Imperium Anglorum]

10/10 would vote fo-

Waitvv flippinb minhte!

Defines house-cat as military grade weapons and then prohibits trade of house-cats? This would kill my Arms Industry!

AGAINST until changes to one or both of those clauses are made.

Only prohibited if, in the opinion of the seller's government, that the buyer is actively in violation of legislation on human rights and genocide. Secondarily, it's prohibiting the trade of housecats.

[Excidium Planetis]

10/10 would vote fo-

Waitvv flippinb minhte!

Defines house-cat as military grade weapons and then prohibits trade of house-cats? This would kill my Arms Industry!

AGAINST until changes to one or both of those clauses are made.

Only prohibited if, in the opinion of the seller's government, that the buyer is actively in violation of legislation on human rights and genocide. Secondarily, it's prohibiting the trade of housecats.

Then you need to clear up the grammar in that claws. It doesn't say anything about the buyer.

[Imperium Anglorum]

Only prohibited if, in the opinion of the seller's government, that the buyer is actively in violation of legislation on human rights and genocide. Secondarily, it's prohibiting the trade of housecats.

Then you need to clear up the grammar in that claws. It doesn't say anything about the buyer.

Prohibits the trade of house-cats which are violating, in the opinion of the seller's government, World Assembly resolutions on human rights and genocide

[Excidium Planetis]

Then you need to clear up the grammar in that claws. It doesn't say anything about the buyer.

Prohibits the trade of house-cats which are violating, in the opinion of the seller's government, World Assembly resolutions on human rights and genocide

It seems to me that it is either the house-cats that are violating WA resolutions, or the trade thereof which is violating WA resolutions. Nothing is said about the buyer.

[Imperium Anglorum]

It seems to me that it is either the house-cats that are violating WA resolutions, or the trade thereof which is violating WA resolutions. Nothing is said about the buyer.

It's the house-cats. This is an animal rights piece! Of course nothing is said of the buyer!

[Excidium Planetis]

It seems to me that it is either the house-cats that are violating WA resolutions, or the trade thereof which is violating WA resolutions. Nothing is said about the buyer.

It's the house-cats. This is an animal rights piece! Of course nothing is said of the buyer!

That directly contradicts what you said here:

Only prohibited if, in the opinion of the seller's government, that the buyer is actively in violation of legislation on human rights and genocide. Secondarily, it's prohibiting the trade of housecats.

Here, you said it was the buyer violating WA resolutions, but now you say it is the house-cats, not the buyer (who is not even mentioned) that is in violation of WA Resolutions?

MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!

[Imperium Anglorum]

It's the house-cats. This is an animal rights piece! Of course nothing is said of the buyer!

That directly contradicts what you said here:

Only prohibited if, in the opinion of the seller's government, that the buyer is actively in violation of legislation on human rights and genocide. Secondarily, it's prohibiting the trade of housecats.

Here, you said it was the buyer violating WA resolutions, but now you say it is the house-cats, not the buyer (who is not even mentioned) that is in violation of WA Resolutions?

MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!

I've made up my mind. It's the if the housecats themselves, in the opinion of the seller's government, are violating genocide and human rights legislation.

[Stellonia]

This is rubbish! I am losing faith in the WA by the minute! We are discussing borderline legal proposals about some space administration and irritable bowel syndrome!

[Excidium Planetis]

This is rubbish! I am losing faith in the WA by the minute! We are discussing borderline legal proposals about some space administration and irritable bowel syndrome!

What does that have to do with the draft being debated?

[Stellonia]

This piece of rubbish is actually being presented as a legitimate proposal! I thought that the World Assembly was devoted to unnecessarily interfering with the internal affairs of its members, but that was before Bitely!

[Separatist Peoples]

This piece of rubbish is actually being presented as a legitimate proposal! I thought that the World Assembly was devoted to unnecessarily interfering with the internal affairs of its members, but that was before Bitely!

"Theoretically, it deals with the classification and transfer of a weapon of war. Its absolutely international in scope. Its just very, very niche a topic."

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Confident that house-cats are the best animal in the world and that they are superior to all sorts of animals, such as dogs, rabbits, ferrets, hippos, etc.

Hell no.

[list=1][*]Defines 'house-cat', for the purposes of this resolution, as military-grade weapons and feline animals of varying sizes with tabby coats;

Uh huuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

[*]Prohibits the trade of house-cats which are violating, in the opinion of the seller's government, World Assembly resolutions on human rights and genocide for the sake of reducing the health and wellbeing of their people so that these World Assembled nations may protect and defend freedom everywhere;

"Guns don't kill people, people with cats kill people." Are you in all honesty going to submit this or something substantially similar? Because that would take the cake for absurdity.

This is no joke.

Really? Because the original sure was.

On the other hand, and I hate to say this, but besides the clear falsehoods in the preamble, I honestly can't find anything illegal or unacceptable herein. No opposition at this time.

[Tinfect]

OOC:
Just submit this, I want to see if it can reach vote.

[Imperium Anglorum]

On the other hand, and I hate to say this, but besides the clear falsehoods in the preamble, I honestly can't find anything illegal or unacceptable herein. No opposition at this time.

Parsons to World Assembly

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NOW COMMA NOW AMBASSADOR STOP. WE ARE NOT GOING TO SUBMIT ILLEGAL PROPOSALS STOP.

[The Two Jerseys]

Fixed that for you. That said, if you do insist on proceeding, perhaps you should also add a blocker allowing catnip to be excluded from any and all future legislation, incorporate some kind of recognition of crazy cat ladies everywhere, and revise your definition of house-cat to include any sentient beings who think they are cats even if they are really just little dogs. Or piglets. Or hamsters. Oh, but not squirrels, that would be just too fucking weird.

This is my replacement for Prohibiting Animal Abuse. It is no joke. I'm taking it just as seriously as I took the original resolution.

"In that case, sure, why the hell not? We'll vote for it." -Ambassador J.R. Ewing

[Separatist Peoples]

"Its actually about a half-step away from a brilliant blocker. If this legislated against the abuse of housecats, then any future Animal Abuse replacement would be forced to make an exception of a huge category of animal to avoid Duplication/Contradiction. Voters less informed would likely view that exception as an inherent weakness. Meanwhile, this could pass, with a few changes, with nearly no complaint. Ambassador Parsons, you devious bastard, you have half a diabolical plot here."

[Atomic Utopia]

I wonder if we could attach a rider that would kill any and all other animal rights regs, thus keeping the category blocked.

[Imperium Anglorum]

"Its actually about a half-step away from a brilliant blocker. If this legislated against the abuse of housecats, then any future Animal Abuse replacement would be forced to make an exception of a huge category of animal to avoid Duplication/Contradiction. Voters less informed would likely view that exception as an inherent weakness. Meanwhile, this could pass, with a few changes, with nearly no complaint. Ambassador Parsons, you devious bastard, you have half a diabolical plot here."

'Not a bad idea, Ambassador! Maybe I should stop regulating the trade of military-grade housecats. I will support further animal legislation as long as they regulate the abuse of hippos which are really quite large.'