World Cup of Hockey 28 (Everything Thread)

by **Feministvs Sanctvsterra** » Fri Sep 25, 2015 3:41 pm

Feministvs Sanctvsterra Today

Pacific's regional union adopts denarius as official currency

Today, the Pacific, one of the largest and most famous regions in the multiverse announced that they would be adopting the denarius as their new regional currency replacing the franco. This decision came as a surprise to many throughout the multiverse. Why would a region like The Pacific adopt the currency of the Monarchdom of Saintland as their own?

Well, your feminist heroines can report that it was thanks to us! We have spent the last few months, since our nation's Monarch decided to finally do the right thing, lobbying for the denarius to become the multiverse's standard currency. Several of your heroines recently spent some time in The Pacific speaking with officials from the government of their regional union to encourage them to adopt the multiverse's most stable currency as their own. Now, these efforts have borne fruit and the denarius is being rapidly adopted by the nations of the multiverse.

The denarius is officially defined as 1 gold ounce and has maintained the same value for over a thousand years. This has produced a great degree of economic stability in our Monarchdom and has helped to protect us from the greed and usury that is rampant in nations under the spell of the international finance cartel. Feministvs Sanctvsterra wants it to be known that we stand for sound money not just for Sanctvsterra but also for the rest of the multiverse. We believe that banksters hurt women (and men too!) in countries where they are allowed to run amok. Therefore, if we are elected, we will use the full diplomatic influence of our Monarchdom to urge the nations of the multiverse to throw those no-good money changers behind bars where they belong!

World Cup of Hockey 28: Preview

Its that time again. Yes, it is time for the return of the World Cup of Hockey and, this time, your heroines have signed a broadcast deal with Royal Two to broadcast every single one of our World Cup of Hockey matches. The great nation of Valanora, home of our favorite elves, has been granted the rights to host the World Cup of Hockey this time around and they have elected to go with an unconventionally short single round robin format for the group stage. We will play in one of 7 groups of 6 and will play each of our opponents just once, for a total of 5 group stage matches. That means that each of our matches, like in the World Cup finals, will be magnified in importance.

No match is more important than our opener against Ko-oren. Ko-oren, while not as dominant in ice hockey as they are on the gridiron or the basketball court, Ko-oren is ranked 6th in the multiverse and are considered the favorites to win this group. If we can beat or tie them, we will be off to a good start in terms of making it to the Round of 16. Second up will be 33rd ranked Norrehavn, a team that is probably ranked around where they should be. Then, we will face unranked Oslesh. We know literally nothing about Oslesh and have no idea whether they will be any good. Fourth on our schedule is 23rd ranked HopNation, who once appeared to have potential but seem to now be on the decline. Finally, we will face Polaaskan, a 61st ranked nation who probably won't be particularly strong. But, this is the World Cup of Hockey and literally anything can happen in a tournament like this.

If we finish in the top 2 in our group or as one of the top 2 third placed teams, we will advance to the Round of 16. The playoff rounds are all best of 3, with the exception of the finals, which are best of 5. Yes, the finals can literally last just as many games as the group stage! This means that we will need to win early and win often if we want to stick around in this tournament and show that we can compete on the ice as well as we can compete at the polls. Be sure to tune in to tonight's game against Ko-oren, even if you have to watch the replay after that big gridiron game that everybody is talking about. We promise that we won't let you down!

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Fri Sep 25, 2015 3:44 pm

World Cup of Hockey 28 Preview
Journalist I9S8YS9U3298YSDF, GGSSports.gs

It's time for World Cup of Hockey 28, and your Ice Slaves are defending Champs! Let's take a look at a preview for the Group Stage of World Cup of Hockey 28. Will the Ice Slaves go through again? Will a Havl come back from troubles last time? We will see...

Group A: Group A features hosts Valanora, Neu Engollon, Polar Islandstates, newcomer Gim, Semarland, and Torisakia. Valanora as a host is always sure to do well, and we expect them to top this group. Second place is going to be a battle between Torisakia, Neu Engollon, and Semarland, and we are going with the Tories. Semarland takes third, Neu Engollon in fourth, Polar Islandstates in fifth, and lowly Gim in last.

Group B: This group features Gregoryisgodistan's ex-co-hosts Ko-oren (gosh, that's a lot of hyphens), Osleh (who?) Polaaskan, Norrehavn, HopNation, and the brave, noble heroines of Feministvs Sanctvsterra who are almost as noble as the Enemy Crushers. We take the heroines to win the group, because they have Lord Almighty Gregory's blessing, followed by Ko-oren. Polaaskan, Norrehavn, HopNation, and Olseh round it out.

Group C: Havl should top this group. They're Havl. They will be followed by Novaya Zemlya, Nassau-Hessen, Warben, Nata whatever Nostos, and Ontorisa in last, because Ontorisa will finish last due to God's will.

Group C: Zenic wins, then The Sword Bloke because Lord Almighty Gregory will help his friend Shop Owner, then Cosumar, Karditan, Swalita, and Firebolt. Firebolt are broomsticks. They can't play.

Group E: Britonisea returns. LOL. They're Britonish and ranked 87th. They won't win. Esparmuran wins the group, then Devonta, then Abanhfleft, then Sandwich, then Maremakr, then Britonised . And I sfon't care if im making typos on drunk ion illegl booze.

Group F: Qudbsafl wins. I donb care. I an mot boes.

Group G: Ice Slaves win. Gotusd go sekrit pocl am ord.

Journalist I9S8YS9U3298YSDF executed for alcohol possession, consumption

Journalist I9S8YS9U3298YSDF has been executed for drinking and possessing alcohol, and for writing an article while drunk. Journalist I9S8YS9U3298YSDF was slowly sliced, then beheaded, then the head was made into a bomb to blow up the family home with the family chained inside. They are all dead and their bodies will be burned. Journalist I9S8YS9U3298YSDF has committed a capital crime and has paid the price, for that is the Lord's will.

by **Valanora** » Fri Sep 25, 2015 4:48 pm

Matchday 1

Group A
Valanora 3–2 Torisakia
Neu Engollon 1–0 Semarland
Polar Islandstates 3–1 Gim

Group B
Ko-oren 4–3 Feministvs Sanctvsterra
Oslesh 0–5 HopNation
Polaaskan 2–2 Norrehavn

Group C
Ontorisa 2–0 Nassau-Hessen
Novaya Zemlya 1–0 Havl
Natanians and Nosts 1–2 Warbern

Group D
Swilatia 1–2 The Sword Bloke
Firebolt 0–1 Kazirstan
Cosumar 0–1 Zenic

Group E
Britonisea 1–3 Abanhfleft
Maramark 0–1 Sandwich Territories
Esparmuran 2–1 Devonta

Group F
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 0–0 Elejamie
Kaboomlandia 0–0 Transalpine Republic
Infinitzerland 4–4 Unified Sunrise Islands

Group G
Narsora 2–1 San Llera
Gregoryisgodistan 1–0 Nova Anglicana
Knarland 0–3 Nephara

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Fri Sep 25, 2015 5:21 pm

Gregoryisgodistan 1–0 Nova Anglicana

"Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, and slaves, we are coming to you live from Unnamed Arena in Valanora. No really, that's what it says the name of this arena is. I don't know if that's its name or it doesn't have a name, but it says in big letters on the side of the arena, Unnamed Arena, and that's also what it says on the press notes, so we'll call it that. Anyway, my name is Sportscaster KXCU4U8F8 and we are ready for World Cup of Hockey 28, featuring your defending champions, the Ice Slaves of Gregoryisgodistan. They will go up against Nova Anglicana, their former rival from North America before Lord Almighty Gregory used his God powers to relocate us to Esportiva in his infinite wisdom. Let's get ready for the hockey match, everybody. It's time for the opening faceoff.

...

"13:18 left in the first period, and we still don't have a Nova Anglicana roster, so we'll continue to use highly insulting fake names. Duncey Opalstilststink coming up the right side, he is walloped by Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples and that will be boarding on Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples as Opalstilststink is down with a concussion. And now Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples is taunting Opalstilststink and the ref is trying to escort him to the penalty box but Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples is going to crush that foolish ref to death. Nobody, and I mean nobody, calls a penalty on the Enemy Crushers. And now Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples is asking the other refs if they would like to overturn the penalty or be next, but they won't overturn it, so Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples is crushing them too. They are all dead. The Enemy Crushers have claimed their first three victims. Here comes a backup crew, and Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples is going to crush them too if they don't overturn the penalty, which they agree to do. And now we are ready for hockey again now that the blood from Opalstilststink's head has been cleared off the ice and he has been taken to the hospital. Quite an incredible hit.

...

"5:35 left in the first period, and here comes right winger Samuel Izmailov Wannabbee (get it, right winger?) of Nova Anglicana and he's going to center it to Clowney McClownFart, who shoots, brilliant block by Enemy Crusher Porky "Fatso The Third" McFattel with his huge, 832 pound body. And now Wannabbee tries to shoot and Enemy Crusher Porky "Fatso The Third" McFattel saves it again, and here comes left winger Loony Lefty and he shoots and Enemy Crusher Porky "Fatso The Third" McFattel is going to knock it down again with his huge body which is taking up almost all of the goal before it's cleared out of the zone by Slave Beater JQOAL94000. And now Slave Beater JQOAL94000 runs over Lefty. He gets back up and says it was an accident, the ref says play on. But now Lefty says something to Slave Beater JQOAL94000, Slave Beater JQOAL94000 says something back and now he's beating Lefty with his stick while calling him a slave. The refs are going to eject Slave Beater JQOAL94000 and indeed, he's going to the locker room and someone else will have to take a five minute penalty for the Ice Slaves. Wow. That was a violent beating Slave Beater JQOAL94000 gave his hopefully future slave. Let's look at it in slow motion. Oh, that's got to hurt, but he deserved it for spewing the blasphemy that Lord Almighty Gregory isn't God. Which is exactly what Loony Lefty said according to Lip Reader US88SDF. Yes, isn't that right. Yes it is.

...

"1:02 left in the first, power play almost over for Nova Anglicana, and Loony Lefty shoots again looking for revenge, brilliant block by Enemy Crusher Porky "Fatso The Third" McFattel, Wannabbee shoots, deflected, here comes McClownFart, over the net and it will be cleared away and the power play expires. Gregoryisgodistan kills the penalty just like they killed evil Holy Republicans. Speaking of which, that penalty kill is brought to you by, the Enemy Crushers, Crushy Killy Crushy Death! That is our motto and our life!

...

"12:08 left in the second, and oh no, the game has been stopped because an idiot human streaker from who knows where has run onto the ice and is taunting Pervert Chaser JDJJ8138. He tries pursuing the streaker, as do the local authorities, but it looks like Pervert Chaser JDJJ8138 is going to get there first and dickapitate and castrate him. Now the authorities are going to arrest the streaker, and also remove the stray privates from the ice as we are ready to resume play. Pervert Chaser JDJJ8138 and the rest of the first line will stay on the ice, but just a bizarre incident, looks like he ran in through the Zamboni entrance rather than jump over the glass, but how he got anywhere near the Zamboni entrance is beyond me.

"Faceoff won by the Ice Slaves, Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Harry Rupertson to Pervert Chaser JDJJ8138 who SCOOOOOOOOOOOOORES! Ice Slaves lead 1-0 with their first goal of this World Cup of Hockey! What a goal, what a goal, what a goal! Right after dickapitating and castrating a streaker too! Highly impressive!

...

"3:14 left in the second, Loony Lefty again coming down and this time he's walloped by Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples and is out cold. And now Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples is taunting him and taunting the Nova Anglican fans who are booing him, and now he's charging into the stands and crushing a few Nova Anglican fans, much to the delight of the Gregoryisgodistani fans who are chanting "CRUSHY CRUSHY CRUSHY" and going absolutely nuts. Now he comes back onto the ice as Lefty is carted off. The second player tonight to be injured by the Enemy Crushers and now it looks like Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples is going to be ejected. But wait, he's crushing two of the officials at once! Make that three officials at once! He was so efficient I didn't notice. The third officiating crew of the night is carrying him to the locker room, it takes all three of them plus the replay official, the Zamboni operator, and the Zamboni gas refiller to restrain him. He's furious and now he's stealing the Zamboni! He's stealing the Zamboni and driving it into the referees' locker room. Let's go to the Enemy Crusher Cam for the first time! Wow, he's demolishing the officials' locker room with the Zamboni like it's Demolition Derby.

[20 minutes later]

"Looks like the Zamboni has run out of gas, so Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples will head to his own locker room after completely destroying the officials' locker room and much of the corridor. In the meantime, the second period has ended, intermission has ended, and we are just getting ready to start the third period. Many Gregoryisgodistanis have been watching the Enemy Crusher Cam on the free Enemy Crusher Cam mobile app, available only for the GregPhone, which was invented by Lord Almighty Gregory in his infinite wisdom.

...

"1:05 left in the third, and Nova Anglicana pulls their goalkeeper. Samuel Izmailov Wannabbee is coming up, puck stolen by Enemy Crusher Porky McCrushawitz, he shoots it down the ice, but just wide and that will be an icing. And now Enemy Crusher Porky McCrushawitz is trying to crush the ref? Now? Seriously? The ref is dead, Enemy Crusher Porky McCrushawitz is ejected, and there will be a five minute penalty on Gregoryisgodistan so Nova Anglicana will have the power play. But wait, Enemy Crusher Porky McCrushawitz is saying something to the Enemy Crusher cam - "Coach told me to take that. Now we can ice with impunity and put four Enemy Crushers in there." Indeed, that's what the Ice Slaves are doing.

"Faceoff won by Gregoryisgodistan, cleared down the ice, wide of the Empty Net but no icing due to the power play. That will eat up 15 seconds. Here comes Farty Fart Fart Fart, puck taken away by Enemy Crusher Crushdaguaya Balians, cleared down the ice, no goal, no icing. 15 seconds left, here comes Fart, on a last second attack, stolen again by Enemy Crusher Crushdaguaya Balians cleared down the ice, hits the post and bounces out as the horn sounds, and the Ice Slaves win 1-0! They are celebrating on the Ice, and we will move on to the next game tomorrow against Narosa, who nobody likes so there will be LOTS OF CRUSHING!"

by **Natanians and Nosts** » Fri Sep 25, 2015 7:43 pm

"Mr. Mihai,what do you have to say about the game?"
"Well,we've lost it,but we'll have more to win!I know that ones will be thinking that it's all my faul,and that I should hve called the guys from the U-18,but imagine a lot of young boys afraid,beacuse it's their first international senior game.There's a great difference between plying against adults in your club and playing for your country against the best of other countries,not complaining if other coaches did it,but it's my opinion."
"Mr. Márius,that play that resulted in Sócrates' goal,was planned?"
"No,and if that was a trained play,we'd make that more times!"
"Mr. Mihai,do you think that Natanians and Nosts will become a great power in ice hockey?"
"Probably,we finished in second on the U-18 IHT,so in a couple years they will represent us wihtout the older ones."

This was the colective interview with Mihai Márius Torjenescu.See now the goal scored by Sócrates:
2nd p.,5'-Oscar steals the puck,passes to Iohannis,who skates to the goa,but he suddenly passes to Sócrates,Sócrates shoots... goooooooooooooooooaaal!Sócrates,and the game is tied:1x1.

Stay now with the break!When we come,you'll stay with the news of our football team in the BoF,and the ice hockey news.Our clubs still want to buy Harrison Blackburn.

by **Esparmuran** » Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:26 pm

Esparmuran is a medium sized, sparsely-populated freezing wasteland. Snow and ice cover the country 24/7, so one of the only outdoor recreational activities one can do in such almost-inhospitable weather is ice-hockey.

The Espar National Mens Ice Hockey Team will compete for the fifth time in the 28th World Cup of Hockey, hosted by Valanora. Last WCoH had the squad fight the odds and compete in the finals against titan Gregoryisgodistan. Unsurprisingly, they were sweeped 3-0. But now, they're back, and they've brought some female company. For the first time in WCoH history, two teams, one male and one female, will compete in the tournament. And in true Espar fashion, it's the team will the smallest population. We're all dead.

MALE ROSTER

(LW-C-RW)
FORWARDS:
#16 Orrell Beake C , #3 Bailey Royston A , #25 Darian Sidney
#48 Ole Henriksen , #24 Gregers Østergaard , #26 Kim Jardine
#61 Temple Maynard , #17 Paul Lauritsen , #28 Danny Faulkner
#9 Bernt Bager , #81 Dan Rasmussen , #13 Lennox School
Injury Reserves:
#32 Jan Steensen , #66 Sefton Daniell , #51 Connell Cartwright

(LD-RD)
DEFENCE:
#44 Blaine Blackwood , #50 Peder Oakley A
#45 Haven Clausen , #77 Devereux Bone
#36 Andreas Klausen , #14 Njord Abrahamsen
Injury Reserve:
#10 Asbjørn Larsen , #4 Donald Mitchell

GOALTENDERS:
#96 Wolf Paige - Starting
#46 Aydan Herbert - Back-Up
#34 Knud Amundsen - Injured Reserve

INJURED:

Orrell Beake, Bailey Royston, Ole Henriksen, Gregers Østergaard, Kim Jardine, Paul Lauritsen, Danny Faulkner, Lennox School, Blaine Blackwood, Peder Oakley, Haven Clausen, Devereux Bone, Wolf Paige, Aydan Herbert, and Knud Amundsen return from the 27th WCoH.
Darian Sidney, Donald Mitchell and Temple Maynard will return to the WCoH after leaving in the 24th.
Goaltender Rickey White, who played for Esparmuran from the 24th - 26th WCoH's, was banned from WCoH-play after the 26th after refusing to play against Gregoryisgodistan. He will be eligible to play in the 31st WCoH.
Head Coach Jimi Stack will return for the second time.

FEMALE ROSTER

(LW-C-RW)
FORWARDS:
#7 Anna Madsen A , #9 Lina Knudsen , #10 Majken Kaspersen A
#64 Camilla Jokumsen A , #49 Signy Steensen , #52 Tanja Østergaard
#25 Cindi Garnett , #42 Sille Christoffersen , #12 Kaley Dane
#19 Katharyn Bagley , #15 Tyra Carstensen , #16 Alberte Doctor
Injury Reserves:
#28 Tove Holst , #14 Irene Skovgaard

(LD-RD)
DEFENCE:
#63 Ellinor Stenger , #22 Annelie Jespersen A
#23 Caroline Bjarnesen , #20 Sonja Reenberg
#21 Sanne Randrup , #4 Vita Alexandersen
Injury Reserves:
#65 Thyra Karstensen , #32 Siri Solberg

GOALTENDERS:
#1 Hanna Abels - Starting
#26 Katrine Carstensen - Back-Up
#38 Helena Lang - Injury Reserve

INJURED:
RW - #18 Ylva Frank

Tanja Østergaard and Gregers Østergaard are married.
Alberte Doctor is the youngest player of the women's team and the daughter of Thorsten Doctor, who is arguably Esparmuran's most famous musician.

HOME JERSEY
AWAY JERSEY

Style modifier: +5

SCHEDULE
MALE vs. United States of Devonta
Sandwich Territories vs. FEMALE
FEMALE vs. Britonisea
Maramark vs. MALE
MALE vs. Abanhfleft

by **Nephara** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 3:23 am

Heather Jancker, Chairman of the Nepharim Ice Hockey Association, planted her boots on the boardroom table and lit up a cigar.
"Ladies. Gentleman. We could have a crisis on our hands."
Kelly snorted derisively. "It's not that bad, Heather. It-"
Jancker smashed the table with one of her heels - much to her satisfaction, Kelly jolted. "It is precisely that bad, Sandra. League attendances are slipping, the national team might well crash out at the group stage... and what people we did win over are starting to become aware that there are other leagues out there at a higher standard. Say all you will about Gary Stubbs who was a part-time garbageman six years ago, the fact is that the QHL - which just got a lucrative deal with Hazard Sport, mind, and also has a few Nepharim in it - is vastly superior."
"At least the World Cup's rating well," offered Harry Colback, the Treasurer.
"Mmh."
"And we won!"
"Yeah, against... against..." Jancker glanced down at her clipboard. "Gnar... land... Cannarland... K... against some minnows we've never heard of. You'd hope we'd win that match every bloody time, right?"
There was a silence around the room.
"The question is," said Meghan Page - the new head of advertising, as of two months ago - cautiously, "how do we get back our momentum? Because ice hockey's momentum at the outset was incredible. I was astonished at the time and I didn't even have a stake in it!"
Nods around the room. Hosting a few World Cup games, the blockbuster new league, a strong national team performance... the public had lapped it up. But they hadn't built on it - and many people had paid for it with their jobs. Jancker herself had only been in her current position for a year and a half.
Sixpence clicked her fingers. "Marquee names. That'll do it. More than one this time- I mean there's just two foreigners in the league so far, aren't there?"
Colback shook his head. "There's no money in the league, Beatrice. Rioux's contract dwarfs any of his teammates', even the internationals like Steiner."
"Maybe strengthen the national team through seeing what foreigners with a tenuous connection might declare for us... ? I mean if they aren't good enough for one of the big powers but their mother was born in Crisisbless or something..."
"The Brenecian option," scoffed Nathan Forster, a man who contributed little of his own ideas but always had something negative to say about others. "We can do better than that."
"Yeah, the Brenecian football team that does pretty well for itself for a shit little island in the middle of nowhere with like, six people living there," retorted Sixpence.
Jancker waved her off. "We're going to look into that in time for the next Cup. But that's another two years from now."
Another break in the conversation.
"I think we need to wait for the World Cup to end first," said Page at last. "Good showing, we're talking about a whole new challenge - something we can work with. Disastrous performance..."
And this silence was just awkward.
"We sack the manager?" said Forster at last.
Jancker snorted, and put out her cigar in the ashtray. "We sack Kearney? Who the fuck else do we have?"

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 3:43 am

Ignorance is Bliss, Part One

Kusavang Municipal Airfield
Kusavang, Ceneisis
September 24, 2011

Kusavang was a small town nestled deep within the mountains of Ceneisis Province, Abanhfleft. In old times, Kusavang had been a popular destination for "consumptives" and other people afflicted with the diseases of the time such as tuberculosis, pneumonia and the like, as it was believed back then that the cool and crisp mountain air would help cure them of their sicknesses. But once medical knowledge had evolved, the tourist trade in Kusavang had slowly and steadily dried up, until the town was once again a small, sleepy hamlet nestled in the snow-covered valleys of the Turalles Mountains.

In recent years, however, a new kind of tourist trade had seen the return of at least a small fraction of the old tourist trade to the town, and this was all thanks to ice hockey. Kusavang's location was on a sufficiently flat spot of land in the valley that was enough to merit the construction of a small training rink for Abanhfleft's national ice hockey team. Kusavang was isolated enough for the teams to train in relative peace.

Today was an especially busy day for the people of Kusavang. The Fleftic national under-21 ice hockey teams, both men's and women's teams, were in training in the town in preparation for the country's upcoming entry into the World Junior Hockey Championships, which was due to start in just two months. The Fleftic Ice Hockey Federation was having a hard time choosing from which of the men's and women's teams to send to Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland (the hosts of the upcoming WJHC) because both teams were overloaded with Abanhfleft's up and coming talent in ice hockey. Ice hockey had never been the most popular sport in the Democratic Republic, playing second fiddle to association football, basketball, American football and baseball, but despite that, there were still legendary Fleftic hockey players that had helped them to a lot of Antarctic Cups throughout their history.

And to have a very talented women's ice hockey team was nothing short of a miracle, as the women's game in Abanhfleft was still on the way to becoming fully professional, with a women's league still being established in some of Abanhfleft's biggest cities. With such a large talented pool of players, it was hardly a surprise that both the men's and women's teams were training in Kusavang in preparation for the World Junior Hockey Championships.

Now, with two months left to go before the start of the WJHC, the federation had finally settled upon an unlikely solution: if they couldn't decide which team to send to Schutzenphalia before the two months were up, then they would send forth a mixed team; a team composed of both male and female players. Such a mixed-gender system had proven effective for Abanhfleft before: the under-21 football team that played in Abanhfleft's first ever Di Bradini Cup campaign was made of a combination of players from the men's and women's under-21 teams. They had made it as far as the quarterfinals before bowing out to eventual champions Mizuyuki. The ice hockey federation was hoping that their own potential combined team would be able to do the same.

But getting out of Kusavang wasn't easy. Being a near-isolated community in the mountains had its drawbacks as well as its benefits. Kusavang's airport was small and could barely even be called an airport, consisting of only a single paved airstrip with a small building that served as the terminal, the hangar and the control tower all at the same time. Flights in and out of Kusavang were rare if not nonexistent, and what little roads led to Kusavang had been blocked by landslides and the like, meaning that unless a flight landed in Kusavang soon, the teams could be trapped in the town for some time.

Luckily for them, they wouldn't have to wait very long. A few discreet inquiries had found out that there was a plane in Kusavang Municipal that was preparing to leave for Porcusces, one of the major cities in Ceneisis Province. There they could board one of many flights to Schutzenphalia with much less difficulty than getting onboard a plane from Kusavang.

Over in Kusavang Municipal Airfield, the plane in question, an Antonov An-12, was sitting on the tarmac waiting. The plane bore the blue and white livery of NQA Airlines, a prominent charter airline in Abanhfleft, although the reason for their prominence was not one that any airline, or any company for that matter, would have liked. NQA had been on people's lips since a string of accidents involving the airline had shown that the airline and its holding company had been quite negligent when it came to aircraft maintenance, pilot training and the like. Yet despite these violations, some of which were very blatantly against Fleftic and international standards and regulations, NQA still flew freely within Abanhfleft.

Today, the Antonov NQA was sitting on the tarmac of Kusavang Municipal for a reason. After flying in a cargo of medical supplies into the town, the plane had remained on the ground due to something that the flight crew had euphemistically referred to as "maintenance checking." In fact, had anyone else except the pilots known what exactly was wrong with the plane, no one would have allowed the national ice hockey team to board it in the first place.

"Captain, we've got a problem," the first officer, Dennis Oldwicke, called out. Captain Voldemars Daugavpils stepped out of the cockpit and over to the open door of the Antonov. "What is it?" he called out.

"I've got a fellow here, says he's from the Ice Hockey Federation," Oldwicke replied. "He says he wants to charter the plane to Porcusces."

"Have you told him about our maintenance checks?" Daugavpils asked.

"Yes," Oldwicke replied. "He says he's willing to pay extra to get the checks done and the plane out of here."

"Extra, eh?" Daugavpils rubbed his chin for a moment before saying, "All right, get him talking with Dobrovolski. And Dennis, come up here for a moment. We need to talk."

Oldwicke climbed up to the plane and walked over to where Daugavpils was standing. "I don't think this is a good time to say that we've got engine trouble, is it?"

"Not really, Captain, no," Oldwicke replied. "But I don't think it's as serious as we think it is. As long as them engines don't cough on us while we're flying, we should be safe."

"Ah, you're right," Daugavpils said after a moment's contemplation. "All right. Once Dobrovolski gets here with the papers, get the people going to Porcusces onboard. I suppose that's a good thing, because we're going to get this old Russian bastard checked out there anyway. Better to do it with paying passengers, I always say."

"All right, Cap, I'll get on it," Oldwicke said.

by **Novaya Zemlya** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 6:19 am

POLYARNAYA PRAVDA

World Cup of Hockey Blog
Anatoly Timofeyev reports live from Valanora and the 28th World Cup of Hockey

We're back!

It's that time of year again, folks. World Cup of Hockey! I have arrived in Valanora and will give you the latest news and stories from the 28th installment of the world's finest hockey tournament.

It was reported that productivity of the Novozemlyan economy plummeted during the knockout rounds of WCoH 27, as people called in sick to watch the games and celebrate wins. Hopefully we can make that a tradition!

A big reason for Novaya Zemlya's success in WCoH 27 was the spectacular play of Iosif Bezukladnikov. The 32 year old netminder recorded an amazing 6 shutouts in 14 starts and carried his team all the way to a 4th place finish. He had an average of 1.36 goals against per game, and that number would have looked even better if he was not hung out to dry by his defenders in the unfortunate 6-4 loss to Esparmuran in game 2 of the semifinals. His play in the Ko-oren and Elejamie series was some of the most fantastic goaltending I have ever witnessed.

And it certainly looks like he is destined for another great tournament, as he shut out former world champions Havl in last night's Group C opener. Now, let's take a look at the rest of the team.

Novaya Zemlya 1 - Havl 0: Game Report

Shelagin - Yerokhin - Golumbovsky
Our newly formed top line had a quiet night. Hopefully they'll get better as they find chemistry. I believe Golumbovsky's crash-and-bang qualities will be useful in wearing down defenses and creating space for Yerokhin to work his magic.

Gavrilov - Kutuzov - Gavrilov
The Gavrilov brothers are re-united as Aleksandr is back from his leg injury which had him sit out of the last tournament. They had a good game and created lots of chances. Sergei Kutuzov looked good as well, and bailed out his run and gun wingers a couple of times with solid defensive plays.

Spiridonov - Yemelyanov - Solomakhin
Denis Yemelyanov looked a bit shaky at times and lost a lot of face-offs. Hopefully he was just nervous in his first WCoH game. These guys have never played together before so hopefully they'll improve as the tournament goes on. It would be a huge plus if we have three lines that are a threat to score.

Polzin - Lubashev - Bliznakov
Coach Bobr uses his fourth line to shut opponents down and they performed their role perfectly last night. Bliznakov made his WCoH debut and was useful. A big, gritty winger that can skate and dish out some pain in the corners is always nice, even if he has hands of stone.

Chupalov - Melekhov
Our top defensive pairing had a great game. Chupalov with the game winner on a slapper from the point. A+.

Yegorov - Ryzhkov
Fyodor Ryzhkov had some highs and lows in the last WCoH. (Among the lows were a run-in with Ko-orenite law enforcement and game 1 vs Elejamie where he had 4 minor penalties before he was knocked out by Francisco Solano in the middle of the second period.) This game, I barely noticed him. For a defenseman that's usually not a bad thing.

Alenichev-Anoshkin
Played a solid but unspectacular game. I'm fine with that.

Zak Myshkin
Zak didn't see a lot of ice time as the 7th defenseman. He had some defensive troubles when he matched up against Havl's Firing Squad, which is to be expected for any 20 year old defenseman.

Next game is tonight against Ontorisa. Ontorisa is known as the home of generational talent Mejer Doristram and for their inability to host international junior tournaments. They finished 4th in their group at WCoH 27 and opened up this edition with a 2-0 win over Nassau-Hessen. They are a decent team but I predict a 4-1 win for the Novozemlyans.

See you tomorrow. Timofeyev out!

by **Ontorisa** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 7:50 am

Head Coach: Lergeam Cataross
Assistant Coach: De-Kuja Beulin, Melai Poekis
Captain: Tealmos Wedernas
Assistant Captain: Rieaa Delsja, Qanas Johik
Roster:

#81 Rieaa Delsja [Forward, Centre. OJL - Eujon Reds. PLY]
#53 Qanas Johik [Forward, Centre. OJL - Dejekus Oracles. SNP]
#69 Kjil Tamatro [Forward, Centre. OJL - Recolosburg Tridents. PWF]
#78 Etriye Wedermaak [Forward, Centre. KHL - HC Sochi. PLY]

#92 Vecam De-ker-Peork [Forward, Right Wing. OJL - Saliasburg Nightmares. PLY]
#6 Fralo Psear [Forward, Right Wing. OJL - Dejekus Oracles. TWF]
#40 Umar Tryskai [Forward, Right Wing. ECHL - Elmira Jackals. SNP]
#74 Jeriak Osmilia [Forward, Right Wing. Liiga - HC TPS. PWF]

#37 Tealmos Wedernas [Forward, Left Wing. OJL - Dejekus Oracles. SNP]
#50 Xel Kedersolis [Forward, Left Wing. OJL - Recolosburg Tridents. PWF]
#6 Heja Corispan [Forward, Right Wing. OJL - Recolosburg Tridents. PLY]
#97 Jaskirn Ealik [Forward, Left Wing. KHL - Riga Dimano. TWF]

#57 Yeta Kolobos [Defence. OJL - Recolosburg Tridents. TWD]
#26 Paukris Ceb-an-Mukai [Defence. KFAC106 - Pana 82's. OFD.]
#23 Vekirk Tolmoki [Defence. OJL - Recolosburg Tridents. DFD]
#13 Kepitri Salkug [Defence. OJL - Emsopstsgrad Vikings. OFD]
#71 Frezgar Iligarisk [Defence. OJL - Recolosburg Tridents. OFD]
#24 Lamas Twaug [Defence. OJL - Emsopstsgrad Vikings. TWD]

#36 Tolkos Semkaris [Goal Tender. OJL - Dejekus Oracles. HYB.]
#30 Torik Sacikij [Goal Tender. OJL - Recolosburg Tridents. HYB]

Scratches
#94 Cvie Aluza [Forward, Right Wing. OJL - Eujon Reds. PWF]
#83 Kermark Zelas [Forward, Centre. OJL - Dejekus Oracles. PLY]
#63 Heros Vebakovich [Forward, Centre. OJL - Saliasburg Nightmares. DNG]
#80 Deamirt Heyeariskan [Forward, Right Wing. OJL - Fort Yeals Torches. SNP]
#11 Axile Thriak [Defence. OJL - Saliasburg Nightmares. DFD]
#52 Pokam Isare [Defence. OJL - Fort Yeals Torches. DFD]
#77 Frosterak Remina [Defence. OJL - Port Oklisy Fishermen. OFD]
#41 Oscerv Minake [Defence. DEL - Hamburg Freezers. OFD]
#20 Kanami Wenderal [Defence. PHL - Sokil Kyiv. TWD]

Injuries
#43 Mejer Doristram [Defence. ENHL - Raprisker Saints. OFD] - Torn ACL - Out for 5 Weeks

by **Kaboomlandia** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 8:07 am

Kings 0, Transalpine Republic 0

"Hello, and welcome to Valanora, where the Kaboomlandian national ice hockey team will kick off their World Cup of Hocke campaign against Transalpine Republic. We don't know anything about them: who they are, how they play, or even what their nickname is! Ah well, we'll start off anyway."

"Four minutes into the game. Kevin Bore takes the puck across the blueline and goes cross-ice for Derek Strachan. Strachan head-mans the puck up for Aaron Richards, who goes up two-on-two with Alex Jackson, but can't get through and dumps the puck into the corner."

"RIGHT WING #43 now for Transalpine Republic. He's up against Casey Lindsay, who makes a beautiful hit, sitting down RIGHT WING #43 with his bodycheck. Lindsay picks up the puck and circles back behind his own net dropping off for Tyson Nash. Nash up the left wing, hitting Manny Hayes for a beautiful pass up the left wing. Bryson Martin breaking in on goal, Hayes saucers it and Martin tips, what a save by GOALTENDER #29! He just gobbled that scoring chance up!"

"CENTRE #91 at the face-off dot. Plays a give-and-go for RIGHT WING #68, who gives it back. CENTRE #91 circles the net and finds LEFT WING #22, who shoots, and a nice save by Dylan Brady, who covers up."

"End of the first period, some scoring chances, but no goals yet."

"Three minutes into the second period. Adrian Philips circling at his own blueline, Tyler Martin out of the box, Philips hits him with a pass and he's away! Tyler Martin has the breakaway, and DEFENSEMAN #45 drags him down! The Kings bench is incensed, and this is going to be a penalty shot for the Kings' star!"

"Martin picks up the puck at centre ice, chance to take a lead. Gliding in on goal, he fakes to his backhand and goes forehand...WHAT A SAVE BY GOALTENDER #29! Getting the left pad there to make the save, we're still tied at zero!"

"LEFT WING #22 down the wing, crossing the blueline. Looking for an opening in the Kings' defense, he'll instead go for a skate around the net. Still looking for a pass. Finally, he finds CENTRE #91 for a one-timer, but Brady gobbled that one right up for a save."

"And, as we come to the end of the second period, we still have no score, though that penalty shot came oh-so-close."

"Eight minutes into the third period, Kings buzzing. The shot counter is currently 34-18 in favour of the Kings. RIGHT WING #43 stays right with his man Scott Herndon, but the big man goes down, and the Kings are going to the power play!"

"A minute to go in the power play. The Kings have been blasting away at GOALTENDER #29, but the goalie is performing admirably in the shooting gallery. Martin to Rutherford, back to Strachan. Derek Strachan over to Herndon, to Philips. Philips passes to Herndon, who crosses with Strachan before dishing it off. Strachan with the one-timer, and he hit the goalpost! Transalpine Republic still can't clear and Strachan keeps it in. He winds, fires, hit the crossbar! Finally the puck goes out of play, but the Kings came so close to scoring!"

"Final minute of the game. Kings on another power play, this one for hooking to CENTRE #91. Strachan out there, along with Martin, Herndon, Philips, and Clooney. The Kings look like they'll try something new here, as Herndon lines up as a right winger. Face-off won back to Strachan, and yes, Herndon is going straight for the screen. Strachan winds up, but fakes it and passes off to Rutherford. Kings cycling down low, as Rutherford drops for Tyler Martin. Martin throws it to the front of the net, it went just off Herndon's leg and wide! Philips picks it up, gets free and passes back to Clooney, who winds up and blasts it just wide. Rutherford grabs it, dishes for Strachan. Derek Strachan walks in, winds up and fires...and he hit the crossbar again! You don't get much more unlucky than that! Finally Transalpine Republic clears the puck, and the buzzer is going to go to end the game!"

Game summary:

First Period:
Goals: None
Penalties: None

Second Period:
Goals: None
Penalties: None

Third Period:
Goals: None
Penalties:
TRA RIGHT WING #43, tripping, 8:06
TRA CENTRE #91, hooking, 19:00

Goaltending:
TRA: GOALTENDER #29 40/40, SO
KBM: Dylan Brady 24/24, SO

Three Stars:
1. GOALTENDER #29
2. Dylan Brady
3. Derek Strachan

by **Ontorisa** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 8:51 am

www.Nationalsportsnetwork.ont
Ontorisa Kicks off WCoH 28 Debut
Ontorisa, even without superstar Mejer Doristram, beat Nassau-Hessen 2-0

Calvisburg, Ontorisa - Even without Mejer Doristram, the superstar offensive defenceman who was diagnosed with a torn ACL following a hit in the U18 IHT, Ontorisa started out strong. They moved the puck well throughout the game, with the defencemen constantly feeding the forwards with excellent break-out passes. The addition of the young and up-in-coming offensive defenceman, who is currently being praised as being possibly better than Mejer Doristram, Paukris Ceb-an-Mukai, has given the Falcons multiple options in terms of their defensive core.

Looking into the game, the first period saw no scoring as many of the players came straight from the OJL Regular Season, being shoved straight into action. However, it was long before Ontorisa opened up the scoring with a nice snipe from Qanas Johik from the left face-off circle in the Nassau-Hessen end. The Nassau-Hessen team, although they tried as they could, could not beat 27-year old Tolkos Semkaris, who preformed 33 saves to shut out the Nassau-Hessen team.

The game was not over after Johik's goal, when in the third period, Nassau-Hessen managed to pin down Ontorisa in their own end, maintaining good offensive pressure until one of the Nassau-Hessen defencemen fumbled the puck, allowing for Xel Kedersolis to burst down the rink, with the puck on a clean break-away. Here's a video of what happened.

"Oh and he fumbles the puck! Kedersolis has possession and is currently rushing down to the Nassau-Hessen net! What a move! He's on a breakaway and he scores! Xel Kedersolis picking up on a bad turn-over that has just led to the death rattle of Nassau-Hessen in this game!"

"I really like Xel Kedersolis for these reasons. Not only is he not afraid to fight or take the body, but he can put the puck in the back of the net. This is coming after his 40-goal season in the OJL, where at one point in the season, he was competing with regular 50-goal scorers for the top goal scorer in the OJL."

"Xel Kedersolis with his first of the 28th World Cup, and his fourth goal in the World Cup of Hockey. Time of the goal is 11:29. Ontorisa now leads Nassau-Hessen 2-0, a very commanding lead in the middle of the third period."

Nassau-Hessen would not be able to recover from this deficit, and visibly to be both disappointed and thankful when the final buzzer sounded.

Score Summary

1st Period
No Scoring Events
2nd Period
ONT Goal: Johik, Qanas (1) [Psear, Fralo (1)] - Even Strength Goal - Slap Shot Goal - 16:37
3rd Period
ONT Goal: Kedersolis, Xel (1) [Unassisted] - Even Strength Goal - Wrist Shot Goal - 11:29

Box Score
1st 2nd 3rd Final
Ontorisa 0 1 1 2
Nassau-Hessen 0 0 0 0

Ontorisa Shots: 38
Nassau-Hessen Shots: 33

W - Tolkos Semkaris - 33 Saves - SV% 1.000
L - Name not Submitted - 36 Saves - SV% 0.973

THREE STARS OF THE GAME - Presented by Velpoz Sports Equipment

1st Star: Tolkos Semkaris (33 SA, 0 G, SV% 1.000)
2nd Star: Qanas Johik (1 G, 0 A, 1 P, 2 +/-, 3 Hits) 
3rd Star: Xel Kedersolis (1 G, 1 A, 2 P, 2 +/-, 8 Hits)

by **Havl** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 10:10 am

OFFENSE

First Line Offense ("The Firing Squad")
Num	Name			Pos.	Team			Height	Weight	Appearance 	WCoH Wins
14	Adonis Rybko		LW	Imeon Scouts		6'3"	230 lbs	3rd
8	Tyler Breckinridge (A)	C	Davenport Pilots	6’2”	225 lbs	3rd
33	Cash Rogers		RW	Kenwood Kings		5’11	195 lbs	3rd

Second Line Offense
13	Graham Hatch		LW	Ilium Winterhawks	6'1"	200 lbs	4th		1 (XXV)
9	Brad Neubauer (A)	C	Capital City Captains	6’2”	220 lbs	5th		1 (XXV)
11	Jim Pepperdyne		RW	Harleston Knights	5’11”	195 lbs	2nd

Third Line Offense
15	Martin Klerx		LW	Capital City Captains	6'3"	230 lbs	6th		1 (XXV)
18	Carson West		C	Ilium Winterhawks	5'10"	190 lbs	4th		1 (XXV)
20	Ravi Chandrasekhar	RW	Capital City Captains	5’10	180 lbs	5th		1 (XXV)

Fourth Line Offense
10	Vinnie Roth		LW	Plymouth Phantoms	5'7"	180 lbs	2nd
16	Travis Hampstead	C	Union Aeros		6'0"	210 lbs	6th		1 (XXV)
21	Finny Vega		RW	Davenport Pilots	5'9"	175 lbs	1st

DEFENSE

First Line Defense
Num	Name			Pos.	Team			Height	Weight	Appearance 	WCoH Wins
3	Petr Zaradnik (C)	D	Capital City Captains	5'11"	200 lbs	6th		1 (XXV)
7	Park Racer		D	Harleston Knights	6'4"	230 lbs	1st

Second Line Defense
5	Jim Innskeep		D	Davenport Pilots		6’3”	225 lbs	3rd
22	Rhys Dykstra		D	Union Aeros		6'5"	240 lbs	6th		1 (XXV)

Third Line Defense
77	Chip Coffee			D	Kenwood Kings	6'1"	215 lbs	1st
4	R.J. Murgatroyd		D	Imeon Scouts		6'9"	255 lbs	2nd

GOALTENDERS

Num	Name			Pos.	Team			Height	Weight	Appearance 	WCoH Wins
31	Haley Hasenpfeffer	Starter	Davenport Pilots	5’9”	165 lbs	5th		1 (XXV)
1	Yvonne Leitchford	Backup	Plymouth Phantoms	5'7"	150 lbs	1st

TEAM INFORMATION

Association: 		Havl Hockey
General Manager: 	Patricia Donofrio
Head Coach: 		Justin Donndelinger
Assistants:		Denise Praffright
			Brian Beierle
			Jason State
Goaltending Coach:	Davis Rich
WCoH Championships: 	4 (WCoH 20, 21, 22, 25)
Current WCoH Ranking: 	7
Highest WCoH Ranking: 	1st (WCoH 22, 23, 24, 26)
Lowest WCoH Ranking: 	24th (WCoH 20)

RP NOTES

Havl plays a clean, skill-driven game. The first scoring line ("The Firing Squad") is historically responsible for over 30% of the team's offense. You won't find any goons in this squad, but the fourth offensive line and the third defensive pairing would be appropriately labeled grinders. Defenseman R.J. Murgatroyd (#4) can fill the enforcer role when necessary, but there are no pure enforcers/goons on the roster.

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose My Scorers: Yes
Godmod Scoring Events: Yes
RP Injuries to My Players: No
Godmod Injuries to My Players: No
RP Penalties for My Players: Yes
RP Ejections for My Players:Yes
Godmod Other Events: No
Style Modifier: +3

by **Firebolt** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 11:31 am

Firebolt National Ice Hockey Team

Goaltenders:
#1 PadBroom GH5
#72 PadBroom SG2
#29 PadBroom ND4

Defensemen:
#2 GuardBroom JS8
#3 GuardBroom KZ9
#4 GuardBroom PX2
#5 GuardBroom PS5
#6 GuardBroom SG3
#23 GuardBroom KD7
#55 GuardBroom MS5

Forwards:
LW: #9 ScoreFlyer JW4 (C)
C: #10 ScoreFlyer AV4
RW: #11 ScoreFlyer NW2

LW: #12 ScoreFlyer SF5
C: #13 ScoreFlyer MW7
RW: #14 ScoreFlyer SG3

LW: #15 ScoreFlyer ME8
C: #16 ScoreFlyer XW2
RW: #17 ScoreFlyer JH3

LW: #18 ScoreFlyer NS5
C: #19 ScoreFlyer SF3
RW: #20 ScoreFlyer RC6

C: #91 ScoreFlyer JS3

Manual of Style:
- All brooms have a name and a 3-digit serial number. Please differentiate by using the serial number.
- Priority is from the top down.
- Style mod: +5.0

RP Permissions:
Anything but killing.

by **Nova Anglicana** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 12:50 pm

Nova Anglicana Lions Senior Hockey Team

Martin Granger, Staff Reporter

The Lions have entered into qualification for the 28th edition of the World Cup of Hockey, their seventh time entering this major international competition. The first time they entered, they finished with a record of 3-3-6 (W-D-L), for 9 points and fifth of seven teams in their group. They played a much more determined and skilled first half of qualifying, but faded down the stretch due to fatigue and what seemed like a general inattentiveness (OOC: I was unable to RP my final 3 matches due to RL issues and lost them all by an aggregate of 11-1). The second time they entered, they finished with a record of 4-1-4 (W-D-L), for 13 points and fourth of ten teams in their group, missing the playoffs. They started off quite poorly, with a record of 0-1-3 through the first four games, and had people calling for Head Coach Cecil Palmer's job. They then got on a roll, winning four in a row, and putting themselves in a win-and-you're-in scenario on MD9 against Hicana. The magic ran out, as they were shut out 2-0, but Palmer retained his job. That may be due in part to their performance at the inaugural Royal Alexandre Hockey Invitational, where they were drawn into a tough group, but still managed to reach the quarterfinals, including impressive wins over Valanora and Sicoutimont, before being shut out by Ko-oren. In WCoH 24, the Lions went 7-0-3, including a victory over then-#7 Torisakia. Unfortunately, they fell in two games (losing Game 2 in shootout fashion) to Falcus in the Round of 24. They then made a run to the semifinals of the 2nd Royal Alexandre Hockey Invitational, where they lost 1-0 to Borschland. They closed it out by losing to Hicaña in the 3rd place game in overtime. In WCoH 25, the Lions were drawn in a group that included perennial favorites Havl and solid competitors The Fair Republic. With a last matchday win and a little help, the Lions finished 5-0-2 and advanced to the playoff round of 16, where they were seeded 15th. They lost in two games to the second-seeded Hicaña Flyers. In WCoH 26, the Lions managed to fight their way to a 5-0-1 group stage performance (including a 7-2 loss to the Royal Kingdom of Quebec), and earned the #13 seed in the playoffs. There, they faced off against Valanora and lost in two straight games, 5-3 and 2-0. In WCoH 27, the Lions squeaked through to the playoffs with a 3-2-1 group stage. They won their first ever playoff game, 3-2 over the Royal Kingdom of Quebec, but lost the series 2-1, all games decided by one goal. Coming off four straight Ro16 appearances (and four straight eliminations), the Lions will look to once again make the playoffs, but advance deeper into the tournament.

The team is mostly composed of players from the domestic NAHL, which has a high level of play, but also features a few players currently playing at the AHL level of the United States' NHL. Cecil Palmer prefers a moderate defensive style, one that focuses on discipline and toughness. You won't see many penalties conceded, but you also won't see any short-handed breaks down the ice. This is a team that makes their money on the power play and on their excellent passing.

Head Coach: Cecil Palmer
Style Modifier: -1
Captain: Troy Parker
Assistant Captains: Matt Grier, Dallas Carlson

1st Line
RW Leif Haas, 29 – Haas is a level-headed and deadly shooter who will be needed just as much as anyone on the team
C Troy Parker, 35 - veteran in his last WCoH, still a great player
LW Jordan Bergeron, 34 - former AHL Norfolk Admiral, he's got tons of raw talent and has matured well

2nd Line
RW André Tailleur, 29 - continued his good career with twenty-six goals in last NAHL season, very quick skater
C Dallas Carlson, 30 – the former U20 captain has enormous confidence and the skills to match, firm grip on second line
LW Ricky Knight, 28 – Knight's knack for making just the right pass is upper-echelon

3rd Line
RW Ryan Fleming, 24 – Fleming has a more rounded game, will grow into tall body, little awkward right now
C Theo Shipley, 24 – His skills already evoke comparison with hockey greats, now he has the responsibility to match,
LW Scotty Gaston, 31 – Gaston’s a spark plug, always aggressive on the forecheck, deadly on the wraparound

4th Line
RW Dan Warner, 23 - Warner's wrister has been called "the best in Nova Anglicana", all-out attacks mentality
C Gavyn Newhall, 31 – Newhall anchors the unusually dangerous 4th line, decent goal-scorer but best at handling the puck
LW Justin Reed, 23 - Reed's a burly, aggressive player, expect him to mix it up a little, good shooter

Pair 1
Marq Brint, 31 – Brint has built on his physicality to become a force, plays all facets of the game well
Sander van der Zeijden, 27 – this young man is possessed of a wonderful set of instincts and a good offensive skill set, is now a solid improving defender

Pair 2
Bruce Baker, 29 – always a leader in blocked shots, Baker’s not afraid to sacrifice the body for the team
Matt Washington, 29 – will block shots just like Baker, but main asset is a cannon of a slap shot and imposing physique

Pair 3
Cyrus Lovett, 24 – family moved to Nova Anglicana from US, team impressed by big body and work ethic, will drop the gloves and fight
Brian Caldwell, 23 - Caldwell is a great two-way player, breakout year has him looking like future star

Pair 4
Bo Knudsen, 23 - Knudsen is an extremely hard worker who will fiercely protect his teammates and clear people out from in front of the goal
Gabe Holt, 19 - Holt is a good two-way player, high pick in QHL draft and gets on the national team, big step for him

Goaltenders
Todd Ingram, 30 – capable of standing on his head at times, but is particular vulnerable in the 5-hole, takes over starting job
Bryan Blake, 35 - veteran had an excellent defensive campaign, but Ingram leapfrogs him
Aksu Koivula, 25 – young Finn émigré gets his shot at national team

Power Play 1
1st Line + Defensive Pair 1

Power Play 2
2nd Line + Defensive Pair 2

Penalty Kill 1
1st Line + Defensive Pair 1

Penalty Kill 2
4th Line + Defensive Pair 3

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following...
Choose My Scorers: Yes/No
Godmod Scoring Events: Yes/No
RP Injuries to My Players: Yes/No, ordinary things, TG me if you want them to tear an ACL or something and I'll approve or disapprove
Godmod Injuries to My Players: Yes/No
RP Penalties for My Players: Yes/No
RP Ejections for My Players: Yes/No, only if your player starts the fight and also gets ejected
Godmod Other Events: Yes/No

by **The Sword Bloke** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 2:00 pm

SWORDEANS SHOOT SWILATIA

Entering their 3rd World Cup of Hockey, The Sword Bloke is now near the best in the world of hockey. After a horror finish to their first tournament in the Royal Kingdom of Quebec, exiting in the group stage with losses to Gregoryisgodistan and Vermark among others, the Swordeans entered their next tournament in Gregoryisgodistan & Ko-Oren with hunger to win.

That tournament, they caused the shock of the tournament, with the Swordeans, who were ranked 60-something, beating Equestrian States, who were then a top 5 team. The Swordeans ended up coming 2nd in Group B behind the ponies of Equestrian States. However, it wasn't a happy ending for the Head Gnashers, losing to hosts and eventual winners Gregoryisgodistan, with the winners celebrating their new year while defeating us.

This year, the Swordeans came over to Valanora. Ranked 21st, the Swordeans are with two powerhouses in 4th ranked Zenic and 8th ranked Cosumar. Apart from that, there is minnows; Put simply. And on our first game day, we had an unranked minnow; Swilatia. Of course, the Swordeans were red hot favourites to win the tie in Atlantian Oceania.

Hundreds of Swordean fans descended onto planes to go cheer on their team. And the Head Gnashers were happy to sign autographs. Shop Owner made an announcement at the ground, before the Swilatian fans came in.

"Guess what, guys? We gonna kill this! No excuses accepted! We are going to win this! If you don't want us to win, then you will be executed. Okay?"

All but one fan responded to him, with that male screaming "I DONT WANT TO WIN!!!" Shop Owner then shot him with a gun, while his wife carried him out of the arena. Well, now the Swordeans piled on the food and merchandise stores before the Swilatians came. Eventually, the big flock of Swilatian fans came. The game started 20 minutes after that.

Well, once the game was over, the Swordeans had won 2-1, only conceding a goal in the last minute of the game to Player 1 from Swilatia. Just a note that the journalists forgot who scored the goals. The fans erupted. While the Swilatians left disgusted, fans, wearing their complimentary 'Head Skills' skates they were given on the plane, went out the gate blocking them from entering the ground from the seating area onto the Ice Hockey field.

The Swordeans are not surprised at their Swilatian victory, as Swilatia are dipping their toes into hockey for the first time. Next up we have Zenic, with The Swordeans hoping to cause a shock of a lesser magnitude than the ES one, but still win. It will be a time for the Swordeans to show their true colours; That they are a chance to win the WCoH, even though the chance is unlikely of that happening. But Shop Owner says it will happen, so it will happen.

by **Kazirstan** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 3:04 pm

Kazirstan shuts out Firebolt at WCoH
Aktovosq scores lone goal in Kazirstani victory

VALANORA - The World Cup of Hockey has returned, and Kazirstan will be competing for the third time in the greatest Hockey tournament in the Multiverse! The Kazirstanis have kicked off the tournament in a good way, shutting out Firebolt, who are, oddly enough, a team of sentient broomsticks. A team of sentient hockey sticks would likely have worked better. A team of broomstick would be more suited to curling, wouldn't they?

The first face off was easily won by Kazirstani captain Fedor Dallman, with ScoreFlyer AV4 sweeping just too late. The remainder of the period was, odd. The Kazirstani goons, accustomed to knocking out humans and ponies, had a hard time landing hits on the broomsticks, while Firebolt didn't let the Kazirstani forwards have any room, drawing many spearing penalties. The first period ended with no score.

The second period started off with a bang. A mere 9.3 seconds into the period, Viqtoriya Aktovosq shot a lightning-quick wrist shot past Fireboltian goaltender PadBroom GH5. She was assisted by Fedor Dallman and Artyom Dzyuba. It would be the game's only goal. In the closing minutes of the second period, Nik Emelin got into a fight with ScoreFlyer JH3. The fight was like a sword fight, with JH3 using its own body as a weapon. After nearly three minutes what looked like a poorly choreographed duel from Star Wars, Emelin landed a brutal hit to the twigs of JH3. Attendants had to rush onto the ice with a Broomstick Servicing Kit, and JH3 was carried off the ice on a stretcher.

Score

Teams	1st	2nd	3rd	Final
Kazirstan	0	1	0	1
Firebolt	0	0	0	0

Penalties

Teams	1st	2nd	3rd	Final
Kazirstan	Yevgeni Vladimir, 2:00 Cross-checking	Danis Mironov, 2:00, Slashing Nikolai Poluektov, 2:00, Boarding Nik Emelin, 5:00, Fighting	Viktor Shibanova, 2:00, Cross-checking	13:00
Firebolt	Guardbroom JS8, 4:00, Spearing ScoreFlyer SF5, 4:00, Spearing Scoreflyer ME8, 4:00, Spearing GuardBroom PX2, 2:00 Slashing	ScoreFlyer JH3, 5:00, Fighting	N/A	19:00

by **Zenic** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 3:44 pm

“A win is a win, regardless if it’s pretty or ugly: that’s what I was taught,” said Henri Giehl over the phone.

“You could have at least won by a slightly bigger margin so I wouldn’t be having near heart attacks every 3 minutes,” replied Hans Zimmel. Zimmel had called to congratulate the national ice hockey team on opening up the WCoH with a win. He also wanted to check on Giehl, whom he hadn’t had a chat with in months. “Anyways, how’s Gloria and the girls?” Giehl chuckled. “They are doing wonderfully. Gloria just got promoted to VP of Public Relations over at TVSV so she’s making 6 digits now. Wanda and Hilda just finished up 7th grade and are staying at my parent’s place for the summer, since I’m here for the World Cup.”

“Good, good. 13 years old is strange time isn’t it?” Giehl sighed. “Yes, yes it can be. Luckily, the arguments have been few and far between. Don’t know how long that luck will last but I’m trying to take advance of every second I get to make sure their future is bright.” Zimmel nodded, despite being on the phone. “Indeed, it’s really the only thing you can do from that point forward. But glad to hear everything is going well. So, your next opponent is………….The Sword Bloke, I believe?”

“Correct, Hans. It’s an interesting setup here in Valanora. In our group and a few others, the top team goes down the list: they face seeds 2-6 within their group in descending order. So, we face our toughest group opponents at the beginning and slowly get easier opponents all the way to the end,” explained Giehl. “Essentially, top tier nations in those groups need to start strong from the gate if they wish to advance past the group stages. Interesting idea from the Elves,” Zimmel replied. “Indeed,” said Giehl.

Zimmel looked at his watch for the time. “Dear heavens, look at the time. I’ll leave you to what you were doing. After all, you have a big game later today so you better get the team prepared. Good luck Henri, I’m sure you will do us proud.”

“I’ll make sure we all do our best,” Giehl said before hanging up the phone.

by **Ontorisa** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 4:49 pm

Optional Practice, Unnamed Arena
8:36 AM

The Ontorisa National Hockey Team had been at practice for a while. In preparation for the upcoming games, the coaches wanted the players to be in top shape, ready for anything that was to happen. Lergeam Cataross stood at the boards with his two assistant coaches, all of them dressed in Team Ontorisa tracksuits, holding hockey sticks and watching the drill that was taking place.

The team had been split up into four separate teams: White, Blue, Black and Yellow. Each team were performing 5-on-5 scenarios, with a few of the players swapping out for the others after each drill. Qanas Johik, the face of the OJL's Dejekus Oracles, stood, breathing hard after his drill, flapping his blue jersey back and forth to cool himself off as he watched Team Black on the offence and Team Yellow on the defence as his OJL teammate, Fralo Psear, skated back and forth with the puck against Yeta Kolobos, who flushed his stick out in an attempt to poke check the 5"9, 193 pound Psear, who nimbly avoided the stick by passing the puck back to a waiting Kanami Wenderal, who took a slap shot at Torik Sackij. The shot was saved but Psear went for the puck anyways, looking for a rebound of sorts.

Cataross blew his whistle as the puck came sliding back to his feet.

"Blue on offence! White on defence!" Cataross called out as he passed the puck to Johik, who flicked the puck up and bounced it on the blade of his stick as Semkaris went into net, and Team White sorted themselves out before waiting. "Go!"

The whistle blew as Johik skated forward hard, shielding the puck from one of the Team White players, pushing out his arm to try and keep the defending player at bay. He heard someone calling his name from behind him as Johik passed the puck to his feet, kicked it between the Team White player's legs and went around, collecting the puck and cycling up to the two defencemen. The defencemen passed it back and forth before Johik found himself with the puck again. He then found one of his fellow players down behind the net for him, to which he passed it to him. The puck went around again to the other forward waiting on the other side of the net.

"Here!" Johik slowly crept into the right face-off circle as the cross-crease pass came.

Johik winded up and fired, hearing the satisfying PING! of the crossbar as the shot went in. A relatively loud ooh went up from the players as Johik stepped back and admired his shot. Semkaris looked over and nodded to him. To be fair, the two had already played multiple games against each other, so it was obvious they would have known each others weaknesses by now.

"Yellow on offence! White on defence!" Cataross called out as Johik skated back to centre ice. "Go!"

by **Torisakia** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 5:28 pm

September 26, 2015
7:57 PM TST

WHO STARTED AT RIGHT FORWARD LAST NIGHT? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW

TOKAI, TORISAKIA - Torisakia fell to Valanora 3-2 in matchday one of the 28th World Cup of Hockey. Torisakia played with six players on the ice as normal. However, the right-wing forward player was rather odd. There has been controversy surrounding the whole "Nicole North" placeholder name and whatnot, and people wondered who was actually going to start at right forward for the tournament. In last night's match, a player wearing a number 15 jersey came out at forward, and many thought Bilbo was going with the "She IS real! I'm super cereal!" wagon. However, the name on the back of the jersey was not "North", it was "Guy McBuddydude". Who the hell is 'Guy McBuddyDude'? Are they a real person? Or someone wearing a disguise? Why won't Bilbo just play a second or third liner at the starting position? TNN and other news outlets pressed for answers, but came up empty handed. No member of the team: players, coaches, or staff, wanted to talk to the media and have made no mention of anything on social media. Even 'Guy McBuddyDude' himself hasn't said anything. Although a Twitter parody account has been made.

Despite the loss, 'Guy McBuddyDude' remains in the starting lineup for next matchday against Gim. Although rumors have circulated that this unknown man is actually just Wade Jephson and Rob Toone in disguise and they switch between periods, both were spotted in full uniform on the bench. Therefore, we can logically conclude that this 'Guy McBuddyDude' is a third-party and either was not included on the roster for unforeseen reasons, or is part of some conspiracy. Whichever it is, we can assure that Mark Bilbo probably won't be coaching the national team much longer if anything is found out, whether it be a conspiracy or some major screw up. At this point, we just wish there had actually been someone named Nicole North on the team. She might have been good. We think it's about time we do a complete overhaul on the selection of these players for the national team. Couldn't hurt, could it?

by **The Royal Kingdom of Quebec** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 6:00 pm

Royal Kingdom of Quebec Ice Knights

Nation: The Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Nation Code: QUE
Association: Hockey Quebec
Founded: League(1908), National team(1924)
Best result: 1st (WCoH 26), 2nd(WCoH 24), 3rd(WCoH 22, 25)
Nickname: Ice Knights

RP Information

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers: Y
Godmod scoring events: Y(Make them creative, please )
RP injuries to my players: Y(Max. 2 per game, and even then TG me. I'll respond ASAP)
Godmod injuries to my players: N(NEVAH!!!)
Hand out penalties to my players: Y
Godmod other events: Y(TG or contact me on IRC)
Style Modifier: +5

P.S. Most members of team are also very good fighters and are willing to kill/injure other players when necessary. Logan Guthrie, in particular, is infamous for being almost indestructible when it comes to fighting. Expect at least 3 fights and 5 injuries against other players to occur. Please keep note to and apply that when RPing.

Coaching Staff
Head Coach: Guy Aronnax, 53, Attawapiskat Avalanche
Assistant Coach: Seok Hyeong Yoon, 54, Sarnia Spark
Assistant Coach: Ile Sung Park, 50, Halifax Tempest
Assistant Coach: Claude Bowman, 64, Blainville-Boisbriand Armada
Goaltending Coach: Anatoli Mnatsov, 63, Attawapiskat Avalanche

Forwards Line 1
13 LW Logan Guthrie, 34, St.John's Celtics. 6'7,227 Ib
9 C Soo Myeon Kim, C, 28, Attawapiskat Avalanche. 6'2, 195 Ib
57 RW Colm Strojovic, 32, Québec Nordiques. 6'7,237 Ib

Forwards Line 2A
11 LW Brennan Hall, 27, Gaspe Oilers. 6'1, 209 Ib
23 C Seth Monahan, 24, Goose Bay Flames. 6'5, 224 Ib
29 RW Brad McCrimmon, 25, Attawapiskat Avalanche. 6'2, 197 Ib

Forwards Line 2B
21 LW Thomas Clovius, 28, Saint John Acadiens. 6'0, 203 Ib
97 C Rodolphe Gong, 22, Kenora Thunderwolves. 6'2, 212 Ib
8 RW Anthony Mantha, 29, Halifax Tempest. 6'2,221 Ib

Forwards Line 3
54 LW Patrick Gaudreau, 26, Goose Bay Flames. 5'9, 160 Ib
28 C Maxwell Belmont-Deschamps, 30, St.John's Celtics. 6'1, 208 Ib
27 RW Sylvain Turcotte, 25, Kingston Knights. 6'0, 189 Ib

Defense Pairing 1
3 LD Yves Jodoin, 24, Winnipeg Giants. 7'6, 358 Ib
5 RD Stanislav Markov, 31, Attawapiskat Avalanche. 6'6, 218 lb

Defense Pairing 2
2 LD Lucien Ryu, 34, A, Blainville-Boisbriand Armada. 5'10,187 Ib
55 RD Dan Passmore, 27, Attawapiskat Avalanche. 6'5, 217 Ib

Defense Pairing 3
15 LD Ian Blanc-Laperriere, 23, Kingston Knights. 6'6, 210 Ib
40 RD Mark Johnson, 28, PLI Islanders. 6'4, 218 Ib

Goaltenders
29 G Marc McDonald, 25, PLI Islanders. 6'2, 208 Ib
1 G Étienne Park, 34, Blainville-Boisbriand Armada. 6'7, 234 Ib
45 G Alexandre Browne, 29, Kingston Knights. 6'1, 198 Ib

Reserves

10 LW Jean Bellard, 31, Halifax Tempest. 6'2, 198 Ib
14 LW Radames Kang, 25, Shawinigan Cataractes. 5'10, 196 Ib

93 C Marc-Edouard Labadie, 26, Gaspe Oilers. 5'11, 198 Ib

17 C/RW Michael Kesler, 27, Halifax Tempest. 6'3, 212 Ib
28 RW Corneille Poirier, 24, Goose Bay Flames. 6'0, 203 Ib

42 LD Ian Beaulieu, 29, Saint John Acadiens. 6'2, 202 Ib
4 LD Eric Lavigne, 24, Kingston Knights. 6'2, 201 Ib

6 RD Rene Tyrie, 23, Kingston Knights. 6'0, 206 Ib
47 RD Olivier Despres, 30, Saint John Acadiens. 6'1, 208 Ib

1st PP Unit:
Hall-Kim-Gong
Ryu-Passmore

2nd PP Unit:
Guthrie-Belmont-Deschamps-Strojovic
Laperriere-Markov

1st PK Unit:
Monahan-Guthrie
Ryu-Markov

2nd PK Unit:
Clovius-Kim
Jodoin-Passmore

by **Valanora** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 9:59 pm

Matchday 2

Group A
Valanora 4–4 Neu Engollon
Torisakia 3–2 Gim
Semarland 4–3 Polar Islandstates

P Group A               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Valanora                2    1   1   0     7    6   +1     3
2 Neu Engollon            2    1   1   0     5    4   +1     3
3 Semarland               2    1   0   1     4    4    0     2
4 Polar Islandstates      2    1   0   1     6    5   +1     2
5 Torisakia               2    1   0   1     5    5    0     2
6 Gim                     2    0   0   2     3    6   −3     0

Group B
Feministvs Sanctvsterra 2–2 Norrehavn
HopNation 5–5 Polaaskan
Ko-oren 1–0 Oslesh

P Group B                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Ko-oren                      2   2  0  0    5   3  +2    4
2 HopNation                    2   1  1  0   10   5  +5    3
3 Polaaskan                    2   0  2  0    7   7   0    2
4 Norrehavn                    2   0  2  0    4   4   0    2
5 Feministvs Sanctvsterra      2   0  1  1    5   6  −1    1
6 Oslesh                       2   0  0  2    0   6  −6    0

Group C
Nassau-Hessen 1–0 Warbern
Havl 5–5 Natanians and Nosts
Ontorisa 1–0 Novaya Zemlya

P Group C                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Ontorisa                     2   2  0  0    3   0  +3    4
2 Nassau-Hessen                2   1  0  1    1   2  −1    2
3 Warbern                      2   1  0  1    2   2   0    2
4 Novaya Zemlya                2   1  0  1    1   1   0    2
5 Natanians and Nosts          2   0  1  1    6   7  −1    1
6 Havl                         2   0  1  1    5   6  −1    1

Group D
The Sword Bloke 1–0 Zenic
Kazirstan 0–2 Cosumar
Swilatia 4–5 Firebolt

P Group D                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 The Sword Bloke              2   2  0  0    3   1  +2    4
2 Zenic                        2   1  0  1    1   1   0    2
3 Cosumar                      2   1  0  1    2   1  +1    2
4 Kazirstan                    2   1  0  1    1   2  −1    2
5 Firebolt                     2   1  0  1    5   5   0    2
6 Swilatia                     2   0  0  2    5   7  −2    0

Group E
Abanhfleft 3–1 Devonta
Sandwich Territories 2–2 Esparmuran
Britonisea 0–1 Maramark

P Group E                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Abanhfleft                   2   2  0  0    6   2  +4    4
2 Esparmuran                   2   1  1  0    4   3  +1    3
3 Sandwich Territories         2   1  1  0    3   2  +1    3
4 Maramark                     2   1  0  1    1   1   0    2
5 Devonta                      2   0  0  2    2   5  −3    0
6 Britonisea                   2   0  0  2    1   4  −3    0

Group F
Elejamie 2–0 Unified Sunrise Islands
Transalpine Republic 6–3 Infinitzerland
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 1–0 Kaboomlandia

P Group F                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Elejamie                     2   1  1  0    2   0  +2    3
2 Royal Kingdom of Quebec      2   1  1  0    1   0  +1    3
3 Transalpine Republic         2   1  1  0    6   3  +3    3
4 Unified Sunrise Islands      2   0  1  1    4   6  −2    1
5 Infinitzerland               2   0  1  1    7  10  −3    1
6 Kaboomlandia                 2   0  1  1    0   1  −1    1

Group G
San Llera 0–1 Nephara
Nova Anglicana 2–1 Knarland
Narsora 0–1 Gregoryisgodistan

P Group G                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Nephara                      2   2  0  0    4   0  +4    4
2 Gregoryisgodistan            2   2  0  0    2   0  +2    4
3 Narsora                      2   1  0  1    2   2   0    2
  Nova Anglicana               2   1  0  1    2   2   0    2
5 San Llera                    2   0  0  2    1   3  −2    0
6 Knarland                     2   0  0  2    1   5  −4    0

by **Esparmuran** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 10:13 pm

OOC: This is for the first game. Admittedly I should have done this sooner.

Men's Team Wins First WCoH game Against Devonta

5.50 k.

National Herald/nationale Herolden - A Commonwealth of Crowns Herald Affiliate

Olaf Skovgaard

Olfsburgh, Devonta

The 27th World Cup of Hockey proved to be the best Esparmuran has experienced to this point, considering what a tremendous run they had after the group stage. In the 28th, the male squad is back and looking to take it's loss in the finals against Gregoryisgodistan out on Group E. It by all means wasn't a blow-out, but Esparmuran got it's first win, 2-1, against 20-seeded Devonta.

To recap, Orrell Beake scored his 64th goal of his WCoH career (along with an assist), Wolf Paige made 27 saves, and Jimi Stack got hit with a soda can.

Although fans disapproved of Darian Sidney replacing Kim Jardine as the first-line right-winger, he recorded an assist in Beake's goal against Devontan goaltender Prince Jamel, when he picked off a pass in the neutral zone, entered the Devontan zone and took a wrist shot toward the net that Haven Clausen, while entirely out of where he should have been, deflected toward Jamel. Beake won a battle for the rebound in front and slid a backhand past Jamel for a 1-0 lead sixteen minutes into the first period.

Jardine, now the second-line right-winger, still helped his squad whether on the first or second-line, as centre Bailey Royston would score to take a 2-0 lead at 10:47 of the second. Devontan left-wing Creo James fanned twice on his attempts to clear the puck from in front of the Devontan net. Jardine pounced on the puck and took a shot on net before Royston buried the rebound from the weak side.

Devonta answered in the fourth minute of the third, with fourth-liner Paul Stark scoring his first. With assists from Joseph Drift and Brendolf Jones, Stark's initial shot was stopped by Paige before the rebound came to him, who converted his second opportunity to cut the Espar's lead to half, but in the end it wouldn't be enough.

There was some minor controversy with Prince Jamel being the second star. Devonta fans argued Jamel should have been the first star, while Espar fans argued he should have been third, in regards to Paige's higher save percentage. End the end though, Jamel faced much more shots than Paige, and Beake's skill showed far more on his play than his stats.

The Espar Female team will face the Sandwich Territories in it's next game, while Devonta will try to get their first win against Abanhfleft.

by **Neu Engollon** » Sun Sep 27, 2015 1:40 am

"Good Evening, Neu Engollon and our global viewers. I'm Karl Demais and you're watching the NETV Sports 7 Update. Once again we go to the 28th World Cup of Hockey where we see the Ibex defying the odds to make quite a statement in the first couple games of the group stage. In this day and age of numerous upsets in the sporting world, one can't be too careful to contribute to the hyperbole, but the Ibex have come closer to entering those ranks with a small victory over Semarland and a tie against top ranked Valanora. Group A may be the toughest group of the Cup, but the Neu Engollian team seems to be holding its own against the overwhelming weight.

Third time may be the charm for Coach Liu, the Avatarian veteran that has been given one last opportunity to turn around the fortunes of the sagging Ibex national team on the International circuit. The Ibex have drilled harder than ever in their third season under Liu Qiang An's tutelage, as well as being ably backed up by Coach Siegler, the Aquitaynian assistant coach that adds the fire to Coach Liu's steel. It was deemed a risky gambit to turn over the national hockey team to foreign leadership, but the two coaches have become beloved over the past two and a half years at the helm. They are a familiar sight in Albertville. A city that is considered the home of Neu Engollian hockey and the main practice arena for the Ibex. Liu has a favorite breakfast stop, a favorite barbershop and a favorite watering hole on the downtown streets of Albertville.

There have been numerous accounts of hooligans attacking foreigners and slinging slurs at supposed non-Christians, but when a similar event took place in a beloved Albertville establishment where Coaches Liu and Siegler were dining, the bald pated, fanatical youth that was harassing them was allegedly dragged out by a large group and straightened out in the alley behind the restaurant. Criticism of the Ibex Coaching staff is accepted and often received in that town, but unbridled hatred against the obviously non-pale Liu is not tolerated by all who consider him as one of us, despite a lack of citizenship. Coach Liu seems to take it all with even grace, saving his words solely for the official after game conferences and reserving comments except to talk about hat tricks, Volkzien's failure to press his attacks and Soltis' mass put to good use in the net.

The tie against the Vanorans is seen as a victory in most circles, because it shows that the Ibex can contend within the top twenty and have a hope for making it past the group stage, which hasn't happened for several Cups. When Velper took Mithagamyr to the boards in response to his earlier slam, it set the tone for the test that the Ibex would not be pushed around, no matter who thought they deserved to do all the pushing. We watched Sameaux cut down into the Vanoran zone in order to slap home several shots, only two of which would kiss the nylon net.
The second period saw the host nation team hit back harder, bringing their lead up to 3 against the Ibex 2. It was Manon that would finally knock in the tying goal right before the buzzer would signal entry into the third and final period. Once again, Amonion Galaethrin would hack the puck into the Neu Engollon net to shift the balance one final time to the hosts.

It was Delmasso that brought in the tying goal off a pass from Gavnic and sent the match into overtime. When it was clear that the 4 all score would stand at the very final buzzer, the Ibex were ecstatic to hold the Vanorans off and have a fighting chance out of their group. They still must face Torisakia, but confidence is the game until they hit that ice. This upcoming game against the Ice Birds couldn't come at a better time, as Coach Liu claims that they will remain on peak alert as they must still get past the highest ranked team in the group. Were the next team to be unranked Gim, it is certain they would let their guard down and throw off the momentum they are feeding off right now. So says Coach Liu. Staying objective, this reporter can say that one must hope for the best and a continued fighting chance for Neu Engollon. Stay tuned after the break..."

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sun Sep 27, 2015 2:01 am

"Hello, and welcome to Unnamed Arena here in Valanora, land of elves and magic. Today's World Cup of Hockey game is between Narosa and Gregoryisgodistan. The Ice Slaves look to improve to 2-0-0 on the tournament and continue their attempt at defending their title of Champions of the Multiverse. It would be our second straight title and third overall. Narosa couldn't be bothered to submit a roster, so we'll just use highly insulting names for their players that are obviously fake. It will be Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Harry Rupertson taking the face-off against Luzwr Kantspell. Ice Slaves fans, it all starts RIGHT NOW!

...

"15:03 left first period, here comes Piece of Clown Fart, he centers it to Piece of Cow Fart, who shoots, deflected by Enemy Crusher Porky "Fatso The Third" McFattel, Clown Fart shoots, again deflected, and now Cow Fart will plunge into to Enemy Crusher Porky "Fatso The Third" McFattel and get called for goaltender interference, that's a two minute minor. And Enemy Crusher Porky "Fatso The Third" McFattel is not happy with that plunging into him and will be crushing Cow Fart to death. The referees don't call a penalty on him, and not only that, they are forcing Cow Fart's dead, crushed body to go to the penalty box and now they are ejecting him for not doing so and escorting his dead body to the locker room. This is insane, but I guess the refs are scared of the Enemy Crushers. What a crushing. That's a glorious, glorious crushing and the Gregoryisgodistani fans are going absolutely insane.

...

"Just back from a TV timeout, 6:06 left in the first, and now the Narosan fans are starting an inappropriate chant. 'When I say COCO, you say NUT.' We won't tell you what comes next but you can figure it out. It means the same as xylocarp. And now Enemy Crusher Porky "Fatso The Third" McFattel, Enemy Crusher Krushofski Krushinski, Enemy Crusher Porky Porkbites, Enemy Crusher Crushdaguaya Balians, Enemy Crusher Crushallov St. Lind, Enemy Crusher Bigward McFooples, Enemy Crusher Porkbert McPorkerstein, Enemy Crusher Krushallah Krushsaintland, Enemy Crusher Krushallah Krushsaintland, Enemy Crusher Crushy McCrushawitz, Enemy Crusher Bigmac Fatfrize, and Enemy Crusher Ronald Fatgoat are running into the stands, leaping over the glass, and crushing all those foolish Narosan fans who were foolish enough to start such an inappropriate chant. They're all being crushed, all 200 of them, it is a glorious moment for Ice Slaves hockey. All 200 or so Narosan fans are dead, the Enemy Crushers are back on the ice or the bench, and we are ready for hockey again!

...

"15:08 left in the second period, here comes Prison Guard AQIIUS, to Actor 81248D8J, stick save by Stoopidifier Taeshinnedumb, and Actor 81248D8J will shoot the rebound top shelf SCOOOOOOOORE ICE SLAVES! THEY TAKE THE LEAD, 1-0! It's Actor 81248D8J with the goal, aka Doybert from Costa Lunians Say the Dardnest Things. And now he's imitating a Costa Lunian by pretending to eat the puck and smoke the stick like a cigarette, and that will get him a huge cheer from the Gregoryisgodistanis, all of whom are quite familiar with the show. And now here's Enemy Crusher Krushallah Krushsaintland, who will crush a Narosan defender to celebrate the goal. There Enemy Crusher Krushallah Krushsaintland goes, he's crushing Booboo McCryBaybbay. And McCryBaybbay is dead. Woohoo! Enemy Crusher Krushallah Krushsaintland has done it, he has crushed the Narosan defender!

...

"5:32 left in the second period, and Enemy Crusher Bigmac Fatfrize is tripped up by Lala Po. And that will be tripping on Po. And now Enemy Crusher Bigmac Fatfrize is crushing Po to death. And here come the other Enemy Crushers, we've got a fight, and it looks like they will crush the entire Narosan team to death as the Gregoryisgodistani fans cheer them on. "DING DONG, NAROSA'S DEAD. WHICH NAROSA? THE DEAD NAROSA. DING DONG THE DEAD NAROSA'S DEAD. THEY'VE GONE WHERE NAROSANS GO, BELOW, BELOW BELOW, BELOW, BELOW BELOW." And the backup Narosan team will have to be summoned, the second Narosan team from who knows where, but they're here and they will enter the game now. It's the Narosa B team taking the ice, no penalties because the Enemy Crushers threatened to crush the refs.

...

"18:45 left in the third period, Poopy McDungDung comes down, centers it to Crappy McDungDung, who may or may not be his brother, and Crappy shoots, blocked by Enemy Crusher Porky "Fatso The Third" McFattel. And here comes Poopy, who shoots, again blocked and now cleared out of the zone by Prison Guard QQQQPPPAL. And it will go past the Narosan and all the way down the ice. Slave Beater NDNSHYQ19 chases after it but collides with goaltender Ugly Burehole and is called for interference, he will go to the penalty box for two minutes. And he's not happy, he's beating the ref like a slave. And the ref is hurt, but will stay in and eject Slave Beater NDNSHYQ19 plus add another five minutes for a second penalty. But the Gregoryisgodistani fans are loving it, their players are attacking the refs. "DEATH TO THE REFS" is the chant, but the Enemy Crushers will not comply.

...

"3:16 left in this one, Narosa pulls the goaltender, a bit early for that, but that's what they do. Poopy McDungDung again comes down, centers it to his maybe brother Crappy who shoots off the post and out. Cleared down the ice by Enemy Crusher Porkbert McPorkerstein but it will go for an icing. Faceoff coming in Narosa's offensive zone.

"Faceoff won by Lalilali PopPopPoop with 2:50 left. He passes it to Ugly Ugly Hippo, who shoots over the net and into the back thing. And now Enemy Crusher Porkbert McPorkerstein comes around to get it and will knock it all the way out of the zone, retained by Narosa but they will have to reset. Oh, and what a jarring hit on Lipdumb Bubbubbeee by Enemy Crusher Crushallov St. Lind. He's down and nemy Crusher Porky McCrushawitz will take the puck and try to knock it into the empty net - WIDE! He had nothing but open ice in front of him, he should have skated forward and chipped it in to put the game away, foolish play. Whistle. Icing? No, they're just stopping the game fort he injury to Bubbubbeee, who is unconscious and may be dead. They're taking him off in a body bag, so I think that he died from a massive head injury inflicted by the hit from the Brave and Noble Enemy Crusher. What a hit! Oh, man, what a hit!

"Anyway, there's 2:13 left and there will be a faceoff in the neutral zone, net still empty for Narosa surprisingly, and they will win the faceoff. Duncey Babasheepblaat comes up and he's jarred by Enemy Crusher Porkbert McPorkerstein and is down on the ice, this time nobody's near the puck so the refs will stop play. Babasheepblaat appears to be conscious but is clutching at his right shoulder as if it's separated, smashed into a million pieces by the hit from the Enemy Crusher. He'll walk off under his own power, there is 1:59 left and we will have another faceoff.

"Oh, but Enemy Crusher Porkbert McPorkerstein is chasing Babasheepblaat down and crushing him. Babasheepblaat is dead and Enemy Crusher Porkbert McPorkerstein is heading to the penalty box for two minutes for roughing, effectively the rest of the game. We saw the Ice Slaves use this strategy last night to ice the puck on the empty net with impunity, and now it looks like they're doing it again.

"Faceoff won by Narosa, Ugly Fillyman down the ice, but knocked loose by Police Officer PIODO and it's going to trickle all the way down the ice, no icing because of the empty net. 1:30 left and finally Narosa tracks it down, tries to get it up the ice, but Pervert Chaser LL00PP19F is there, shoots on a wide open net, just wide! Almost put it away. And now there's a race to the puck but Narosa tracks it down and gets it out of there, towards the red line, and TutuWearing Freak takes it and skates down, passes it to Nuttley Nutjob who shoots, off the stick of Enemy Crusher Porky "Fatso The Third" McFattel and again cleared down the ice by the Ice Slaves. One minute to go in this one. Here comes Freaky Fooofoobunny and he shoots high, 45 seconds left, cleared out, cleared down the ice, no icing. 30 seconds left. Foofoobunny gets it again and knocks it back towards center ice, 20 seconds left, Ricin Poisonman takes it, skates down the ice, shoots, 13 seconds left, deflected by Enemy Crusher Porky "Fatso The Third" McFattel, cleared by Enemy Crusher Crushallov St. Lind, nobody's going to get it, and that's going to do it. Oh, what's this? The Enemy Crushers are crushing the Narosans in celebration? What fun. Narosa's B Team is dead, they'll have to use their C team for the next three games. This is what you get for losing to the Enemy Crushers. Congratulations to us!"

World Cup of Hockey 28 (Everything Thread)

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