World Cup 71 - RP Thread

[Audioslavia]

The old man looked over his underling's submission

Cosumar
Cosumar is a nation familiar to most Audioslavians - the island lies just a few clicks east of the Audioslavian mainland - but on the football field the two sides have yet to match wits.

That will all change on matchday six, when the Fiefers (a nickname that Audioslavians tend to bestow upon their cross-water cousins) travel to the Arena Kirola in what should be, by that point, a top-of-the-table clash.

Not that the occasion should affect the Azure Dragons in any way, shape or form.

Cosumar have been on the scene since World Cup 51, and although the side have rarely troubled the latter stages of major international tournaments, there is little they haven't seen. The foreboding high walls of the Kirola Arena won't trouble them - their own Leviathan Arena has a similarly claustrophobic atmosphere, with the stadium towering imposingly over the pitch - and even an occasion as big as an away fixture against the famous Audioslavian Bulls won't phase the Cosumarites. The side, after all, managed to hold their own against Audioslavia's auld enemy Krytenia in their very first fixture in international football.

Both sides feature invaluable thirty-five year-old veterans by the name of Koskinen, though unlike Audioslavia it appears Cosumar won't be relying on their own one too much; not with the emergence of Exton's Jakk Winterfyll in goal anyway.

Prediction: Audioslavia should be at least good enough for four points against Cosumar, but don't expect the Dragons to be far from the gate come the end of the campaign.

Milchama
(W0-D3-L0 F2 A2)
Audioslavia 2-2 Milchama (WC28 First Round)
Audioslavia 0-0 Milchama (AOCAF 35 First Round)
Audioslavia 0-0 Milchama (WC63 First Round)
Milchama are a team Audioslavia have never beaten, although to be fair we've never lost to the old warriors either.

The 2-2 scoreline in World Cup 28 did, according to newspapers from the time, feel like a defeat, especially after a previous 0-4 capitulation to Jeruselem, but Audioslavians will have fond memories of the other two encounters. The nil-all scorelines don't hint at much excitement, of course, but the occasions - AOCAF35 and WC63 - are forever entrenched in the national psyche: They are tournaments that the Bulls won.

Prediction: Again, four points at the very least. Milchama have never really been a force in international football despite their longevity, and this Audioslavia team should be able to barge their way past a lightweight Milchama side.

Sarrbia
Sarrbia are no strangers to world football, having fielded teams at previous World Cups, but few Bulls fans will have sleepless nights over the idea of the oddly-coloured Sarrbians denting Audioslavia's qualification hopes.

Prediction: Six points.

Sameba
(W2-D0-L0 F8 A3)
Sameba 1-4 Audioslavia (WC68 Playoffs)
Audioslavia 4-2 Sameba (WC68 Playoffs)
Audioslavia came up against Sameba, Eura's belligerent cousins, in the playoffs for World Cup 68 and, home and away, despatched the men in green with little difficulty.

Sameba came into that match ranked 67th in the world - a respectable position - but the fact that they return to Audioslavia with a ranking of exactly 67 again - some twelve years later - implies a team that has long since hit its glass ceiling in world football.

Prediction: Six points, but not without a lot of hard work.

Royalsoldiers
Some Audioslavians may be familiar with the Royal Soldiers from their kits - made by our very own Kirola Sportswear - but little is known about the side other than their occasional inclusion in the sign-ups for the World Cup; and boy do we mean 'occasional'.

Royalsoldiers first signed up for the NSWC way back in cycle 54, and maintained a world ranking until WC65, at which point they sadly dropped off the face of the planet once more.

The side are back in the mix now. How serious will this cycle's challenge be? It remains to be seen, but one thing we should mention is this: In the twelve cycles between World Cup 54 and World Cup 65, Royalsoldiers never rose above 128th in the world rankings.

Not pictured: Lies, damned lies. Graph shows group 15's rank over time, from World Cup 53 to World Cup 69.

Affiliated South Califan Sprawls
"Ah, Free South Califas!" you exclaim, but no, ASCS and FSC are wholly different beasts. "But their shirt" you may retort. But their shirt indeed. Kirola first created the Sprawls' kit for World Cup 68, but it was rarely worn amidst troubles in the then not-so-free states. The Califan peoples have returned to the international stage for World Cup 71, and they're wearing the same shirts, but don't mistake them for the oft-underestimated, rarely-outgunned Califas of old; ASCS have yet to prove themselves worthy of the proud black and red.

Prediction: Audioslavia against a new team? Six points. Audioslavia against a team as good as Free South Califas could have been? Three.

Garifunya
(W2-D0-L0 F8 A2)
Audioslavia 6-2 Garifunya (WC70 Qualifiers)
Garifunya 0-2 Audioslavia (WC70 Qualifiers)

Last but arguably not least is Garifunya, a team Audioslavia played - and beat - on two occasions on the way to qualification for World Cup 70. Diakite posed some problems for Audioslavia back in the two sides' first encounter, opening the scoring early on, but Audioslavia's victory that day was emphatic and few Garifunyans will be optimistic about their teams' chances when they travel to the Kirola Arena again.

Prediction: Six points again, please

He shook his head, picked up his phone, and dialled the extention to his office of writers.

*2* *8* *6* *8* *8*

"Tell Victor to come to my office, please."

The old man looked out of the window and tutted at his own reflection. 'Back in the day', he thought to himself, 'I used to get good writers as interns'.

He looked at the phone again. He should probably make the call. He should probably have done it a while ago.

'Three hundred years' he muttered to himself. 'And it never gets any easier'

"What doesn't?" said a voice behind him. Victor's.

"Punching people who don't knock" said the old man. "Sit down. I need a word with you about this garbage you're sending me. And who the hell does these graphs? It looks like you knocked it up on google sheets at one in the morning.

"Kitty does them, boss" replied Victor, still standing, looking expectantly at a chair. Too well brought up to sit down without being specifically informed that he could. Too naive to figure out that a man like... him... would never in a million years offer such a deal.

Victor looked back up from the chair to see the old man choking on a gulp of coffee.

"Kitty?!" he said, finally, spraying coffee on his chair. The old man looked flabbergasted, as if Victor had just told him that the poor girl's name was 'Mingevajayjay' or something. Like a flash, however, the look of incredulity was gone. The old man looked down at his chair, brought a hankerchief from his shirt, and started dabbing at coffee stains.

It occurred to Victor, however, that the old man wasn't actually cleaning the chair. He was, moreover, cleaning the coat that hung over the back of it. An old, mangy, once-beige monster of a coat. What did they used to call them? Mackinlays? McPahans? Mackintlocks? Either way, it was much less valuable than the $8000 state of the art ergonomic swivel-chair it was sitting on.

Victor realised he was being spoken to. Or, rather, mumbled at.

"What?" said Victor

"I said **** off" said the old man. "Go and find this 'Kitty'. I've something to ask her"

Victor left, quickly. So quickly he almost knocked over the hat-stand on his way out. It wobbled behind him as the door closed.

"And watch the ****ing Trilby" said the old man, at the departing figure through the frosted glass. "That's lasted me longer than you ever will"

to be continued

[Xzyxrouw]

Mao'sihr Maoeq'Maazgxaxhe's Training Diary for the run-up to the the first match of the World Cup Qualifiers

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7 Days to go
Spend day dozing/hiding and hoping somebody else will deal with training. Evaluate whether this strategy is likely to work for the remainder of my tenure as manager, as long as that may be.

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6 Days to go

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5 Days to go

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4 Days to go

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3 Days to go

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2 Days to go

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1 Day to go
Overslept. Drat.
Research Eupheous Anatus a little and see if Ahr'Xhaan knows how to get there.
Go back to sleep until Ahr'Xhaan retrieves this necessary information.

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Matchday (Away - vs Eupheos Anatus)

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

Season 6, Chapter 1: Negative

Upper Sunrise: You know that place called School? That place is terrible.

The Sunrise kids walked through the streets near their house after their first day of school this season.

Southie Sunrise: Odd that someone finally agrees with me.
East Sunrise: Oh, come on. It couldn't be that bad.
Central Sunrise: Not gonna lie, I so far enjoyed that place.
Westie Sunrise: Yaay! I wuv the school!
Central Sunrise: Guess she's over-joyful with other people, huh?
Southie Sunrise: Yes. She's young and mother just ended up treating her like this all the time.
East Sunrise: I think the only time she got angry was when you stepped over one of her dolls, Southie.
Southie Sunrise: I still have nightmares from that day.
Lower Sunrise: Was it that bad?
East Sunrise: Trust us, you don't want to know.
Upper Sunrise: Oh, and why they asked me about my wings?
Southie Sunrise: That's not a regular feature here, sir. Specially around these grounds.
Upper Sunrise: Wings?
East Sunrise: On birds, normal. On humans, uncommon. They thought you were a X-Man or something.
Upper Sunrise: X-Man? Never heard of that.
East Sunrise: Y'know, we'll ask dad to explain it to ya. Here we are.

East opened the door, finding his mother reading a book.

East Sunrise: Mom, where's dad?
Mikoto: Oh, welcome.
Southie Sunrise: Thanks, mom.
Central Sunrise: Yeah... Mother...
Upper Sunrise: It's still a bit odd, we haven't got used to it, Madam Mikoto.
Mikoto: You'll get the hang of it~
East Sunrise: Yeah. So... where's dad?
Mikoto: He's on the backyard. He and some friends are testing one of Dainer's new finds.

Meanwhile, on the backyard.

Dainer: Alright. Hold this.
Sunrise: Why?
Dainer: Don't ask, just do it.
Sunrise: But what is this for?
Dainer: It's one of the hands I'm going to use for my new agro-robots.
Sunrise: Agro-robots?
Ytt: Robots to plant flowers and others alike.
Sunrise: That's a stupid thing to do with robots.
Dainer: Sunrise, please. You know I love green environments.
Sindybot: And besides, be thankful that his original plan of ruling the World wasn't really that good to work on.
Sunrise: That was your original plan?
Dainer: Yes. But then Sarian convinced me against it.
Sarian: Oh, yes.

Sarian took a scary looking spiked club from a nondescript place.

Sarian: And you know how good I am when it comes to argumentation.
Sunrise: Wimp.
Dainer: Sue me for not being stupid.
Ytt: Anyways, if this works well enough, it'll shoot some seeds at those holes I opened at the yard.
Sunrise: And if it doesn't?
Ytt: It'll blow up and shoot you high on the sky and then back down to the floor thanks to the Law of Gravity.
Sunrise: Why I have this feeling the odds are on the latter?
Dainer: Because you're pessimist. Just press the damn button.

Sunrise pressed the button, closing his eyes. As he opened his eyes once again, he was still on the ground and there were seeds on the holes.

Sunrise: ...It didn't blow up?
Sindybot: Surprises me just as much.
Sunrise: Shut up.
Dainer: Well, it was supposed to work. But don't press it a-

Sunrise presses it again, causing the robot arm to blow up and shoot him upwards.

Dainer: -gain.
Sarian: He's a hell of a guinea pig, don't you think?
Ytt: Yeah. Wonder why he hasn't broken any bone yet.
Dainer: Sindybot, activate bed.
Sindybot: You could've just asked please.
Dainer: He's coming down already, quick!
Sindybot: Fine, fine...

Sindybot's right arm extends to form a little bed, enough to prevent Sunrise from crashing on the ground... Only for Sunrise to fall left of it.

Sindybot: Oopsie.
Sunrise: ...Ow.

[San Jose Guayabal]

OOC: Stadium assignments are here for every team who might be interested, including IC timing for the match, a more complete description of the Stadium will be provided in my RP's before every matchday played at home.

www.elnacional.gu/sjg/fiebre_mundialista_tv_stream

You are in: El nacional > SJG > TV Stream > Fiebre Mundialista.

Host: José Correa & Mario Vásquez.
Date: Wednesday, 10/5/2197, 22:00 - San Salvador time

A new road to the World Cup begins on this upcoming weeks and the National Team of San José Guayabal prepares to face a new path in the World Cup Qualifiers, this time the challenge is to get a ticket to go to dispute the Finals in Yttribia and Felix, the road will be hard but remember the good time SJG is living on this occasion. In a historic position in world rankings (Rank No. 23), in addition to living a unique moment in regional competitions and UICA tournaments where the Liga Premier just managed to get his second place to qualify for the Champions' Cup, this gives an excellent condition for the national football, progressing slowly but in a safe path.

After organizing the World Cup 70 and making a "decent" role during the Finals, we must remember that SJG has eight years (Since 2189)without contesting a World Cup Qualifiers round from the World Cup 69 in Apox and The Holy Empire, at the time that we mention this, many fans have bad memories and even nightmares regarding that fateful Qualifiers, a defeat at home to The Sarian in the final game by a score of 1-2 was fatal, because it eliminated the high expectations of qualifying for the World Cup finals for the second time, but it was a serious way to bury the hopes for a national team that achieved an excellent first round with six wins and one loss, much of this is due to one factor: The cockiness.

The cockiness was something that accommodated the National Team as many analysts and fans, that infamous conversion factor generated a glorious first half of the Qualifiers to a second infernal round of it, where just eight of twenty one points were obtained in dispute, the pride of a National Team that previously had been classified by the national press as "humble" changed from night to morning. "Our biggest mistake was considering we were on top of the world, while at the time we were on a small hill." Says Rodolfo Zelaya, adding that "Our pride during the Qualifiers is something that we would never see again, I believe that this will not happen, because the lesson was learned by all of us. "

Surely the lesson price was very high, losing the chance of qualifying to World Cup Qualifiers after a great moment of collective manner by the national team is something that many fans criticized the players, especially their high level of cockiness during the playoffs.

That nightmare ended a couple of years ago, but the consequences stills remaining visible, whereas the success that could be achieved in qualifying at the time could have been very high, and let it go just for a "sweet" moment of alleged "fame" was a fatal mistake by players who lacked reasoning in that moment, a key turning point in the history of the Guayabalense football.

Eight years later, many players recall that event as a "hellish nightmare", having achieved some level of success in the Finals of the WC 70 in San Jose Guayabal and in UICA football, many players who make up the national team are aware that must not fall into the problem afford to fall into pride and believe that they are the "big deal" during this Qualifier process, which "will not be easy." Comments Henry Hernández, while other players like Rudy Valencia and Jonathan Faña say that "Thoughts about the cockiness are unacceptable in the National Team." One issue that has become a kind of priority for the coach and the staff of psychology of the national team is to avoid falling into the trap of pride, although players personally tries to avoid falling into this vicious circle, extra help is always needed to avoid problems in the National Team, Specially about the topic of cockiness.

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World Cup 71 - The Preview

The World Cup 71 is near and the draw for the group stage of the WC Qualifiers has been made, which will be played throughout the winter and spring of this year (2197), the objective of the National Team is to qualify to the finals, which will be held in Yttribia and Felix in order to play in the next year.

The competition format is visibly different compared to the previous Qualifiers, this time 162 competing teams (eleven less than in the previous edition), of these 162, 160 will dispute the Qualifiers, these teams have been divided into twenty groups composed by eight National Teams, the twenty best from each group qualify directly to the Finals while the twenty second places play a qualifier-playoff, all games up to this point will be made a reciprocal visit and the ten winners of the playoffs goes to the Finals.

In the draw held at the Ventura Hotel in Fontvieille, Yttribia, unveiled the fate of all participants in the draw note that interestingly, the last team to appear was San José Guayabal, being situated in Group N ° 20 finding us the following teams :

The Crystal Empire

Definitely, the Crystal Empire is an old team and known for San José Guayabal, have faced only once and that was in the third game in the history of the national team, then led by the already dead Milos Miljanic, a game that it marked the first defeat in the history for La Selecta by a score of 0-2 in Astograth during the Baptism of Fire 53, which happened in the already somewhat distant year of 2176, a game in which the Crystal Empire showed an excellent game and managed to breach the quite good defensive work performed by the national team, although it was too early to give the team that description because it was only the third game of them international and official level.

If we take a cursory glance to the tactical system of the Crystal Empire, we can see that it is a moderately defensive and cautious about how to play, but it is important to consider that they have a game system very similar to that used in Equestrian States, a system that is based on fundamental pillars in speed and stride of the ponies, physical strength and height of the attackers and some defenses.

Midfielders provide an additional defense support when required due to limited space between lines, with a conservative strategy to some extent, allows them to generate a better picture for attacks, performing some kind of counter attack but not too much explosive according to the ones performed by other teams that we have faced before.

An important factor to consider is the ability to perform high jumps, almost all the players of this national team, because they usually outperform rival opponents in such an easy way, taking advantage of its natural condition they possess by virtue of being ponies. In conclusion, this team likes the elegant and fluid gameplay, without making unnecessary mistakes that may affect them, plus an enviable team-play intelligence.

The first game of this Qualifier will be against them at the Imperial Arena in Crystopolis City, a complicated visit considering all the magic factors of the stadium and the ponies around there, and the second game (in matchday eight) will be held at the Bank of Guayabal Stadium in Rodríguez, probably starting between 20:00 to 22:30 hours and that would be a in interesting match in a new venue for Guayabalense Football if we talk about the service time and debut at hosting NT matches.

The Crystal Empire seems to be a hard team, specially at their defense, a good midfield is also their key to avoid many goals against them and also the performance of their goalkeeper, Starshine, who is an important part of the team of Crystopolis City, a tie in the first game is something responsible to predict (La Selecta might use a 3-3-1-3 for that game), considering their home factor, while the game in Rodríguez could result in a narrow victory for La Selecta.

Star United States

Star United States, a name that we are used to listen frequently, the average football fan in San Jose Guayabal would recognize them almost immediately, with a long history between the two squads, generates a good overview about how to play and the style of play of Star United States. Besides being one of the countries with which we have better relationships, it will be interesting to play against our "friends" for the first time in a competition of World Cup Qualifiers.

The fellow nation is ranked right now at the position N° 57 in the KPB and they debuted in the Baptism of Fire 47. They Went 1-2-2 in a group Including South Icemark, Mu Mu, Yugiohistan, among others. In World Cup 60, they went with a not so good 2-4-8. And then a participation that left a bad taste for the Starians happened in the the WC 61. That was their last appearance for a couple of World Cups.

After four WCQ without participation of SUS, they returned to the ring in the World Cup 66, being this a decent participation, considering that they returned from an extended absence of about sixteen years, a long period to be honest. After the WC 66, the outstanding Qualifiers were the World Cup 68, where they missed the playoffs for only "a hair's difference" and the World Cup 70, where they finished third in a tough group with nations like Valanora and Bears Armed, not bad for the Starians.

Now, as for his play we can say that is a pretty balanced offensive team and to some extent, with a slightly modified version of the 3-4-3 that integrates four key players such as Matthew Stafford, James Gasteiz, Abrãao Carniero, and Evandro Amaral, players are able to do anything to score, especially if they manage to combine in an appropriate manner, this is the main threat to this team, which has been improving over time and have now been consolidated into a position where they should not be underestimated, but should be respected for who can actually cause any kind of surprise against those that we can not imagine.

One of the strengths of this team is the defense, strong and forceful to prevent attacks rival, has been a feature shown by the national team, even in games where we defeated them, whose scorelines can be considered as "misleading" because of the efficiency of the defense by the Starians.

As for predictions, we can say that the upcoming matches will be very even, especially when we visit in the Estádio da Baía in Ilha Recife in the matchday No. 3, a place characterized by pressure from fans and their influence on the psychological factor of the players, get at least a draw there would be great for the interests of the national team and be the wishes of the fans, however when they return visit us at Estadio Tierra de Fuego in Yucuaiquín in the matchday No. 10 (Time: 20:15) is when La Selecta can take home advantage and impose their conditions, especially in this part of the Qualifiers where each point cares, the victory is a real possibility but not safe, because we know that Star United States is one of those national teams who do not give up so easily.

Walkany

Walkany is that nations which did not raise many opinions for their participation in the latest Baptism of Fire, being located at the position N°324 in the rankings and being newcomers, definitively is not something that would intimidate a contender National Team to qualify for the world as Saintland, Star United States and we, of course, but from past experience coming from that nightmare called World Cup 69, showed us that we should never entrust against teams like this one, never.

Recalling again that nightmare, Ekoz was in the same situation as Walkany now, without making a spectacular display of play in the BoF but still a team that is very complicated for us to get a "comfortable" victory to some extent 3 -5 visitor status in the horrible second part of the Qualifiers, Ekoz could barely get a valuable result against us in the end a goal from Jonathan Faña solved what could have been one of the most shameful games for San Jose Guayabal, eight years later, Walkany could take the shape like a stone in the shoe over for one or two NT's of this group, as I argue, the boys know that they have nothing to lose and that same motivation leads them to play on equal terms against teams of great international importance as happened in that game of the WC 67 where The Polar Islandstates was defeated by a minimum score of 1-0 by The Weegies or even the same National Team of Polar Islandstates was the victim of one of the major surprises in the previous edition of the World Cup Qualifiers, where they lost 1-2 in the Nasjonale Stadion against previously unknown Beauce. Sure, San Jose Guayabal not have the same level Polar Islandstates but this shows the surprises that can cause teams who are in theory "inferior".

Showing a conservative team to some extent Walkany can generate risks as the counter attack, despite having a philosophy of defensive game, they have players with certain skills to counter as Eddy Haphazard and Oliver Gourde and excellent defenders as Pep Pep Guardiola and Ray Haywood, the latter two usually performs a good pressure in zones that can contain lethal strikers as in the case of Sean Fraser and Rodolfo Zelaya, a 4-4-3 which can cause problems for our national team, not should be entrusted with this team, for a small overconfidence can lead to unwanted tripping.

As for predictions, matchday No. 5 in Wandelaar Stadio can be rated as one of those "hidden-trap" matches because they do not have much certainty how the team of Walkany behaves as local, much less the behavior of their fans , which influences the psychological aspect of the players, certainly a victory would be great and not something dared predict, but already back in the matchday No. 12 in the Monumental Stadium Loma Chata (First game of the Qualifiers that Loma Chata will host for national team, Time: 22:30) can be a game where you as a fan and the National Team players and coaching stafff already have a game viewing of this rival, may we play like we normally do as local and demonstrate the factor of home advantage to get the victory, but likely we must not spare the effort of the opponent.

Saintland

Saintland, the team that everybody knows as the leading contender to qualify for the World Cup in our group, placed in the position No. 10 ranking, Saintland is one of those teams that one must be careful when playing, we have never faced this nation but the coach, the experienced Rule Theriault, who has managed to assemble a team with the best among the best of Saintland in quality, a team with an almost impenetrable and clear defense with players who enjoy a rather inspired by the old school, based on physical contact and the roughness game.

Playing hard to say, more than any appear as a "jokester" to say that they are thugs hired by the Christian State who want to kill our players, the answer is obvious, they are not thugs, are part of the clergy of the Church of Saintland. Reaching the quarterfinals of the Baptism of Fire in a group including current large selections as is the case Nephara and the same Saintland, managed to build a solid foundation for future participation in its first WCQ finished third in a group with major reference as Audioslavia and Kinitaria, the first of these was able to play him face to face twice and barely got to lose by one-goal margin in Audioslavia, this was an indication of the force that would in the future this National Team. In the World Cup 65, were second in their group which drew 1-1 against the future World Champion, Wight, came by deletion of the Licentian Isles, who eliminated the Sanctii with an aggregate score of 3-0, leaving a just one step away from qualifying for the first time the World Cup Finals.

The World Cup 66 was the harvest of a good planting, managing to qualify for the World Cup finals for the first time above the National Team Saugeais since then Saintland has been placed as a nation is always considered as the candidate to qualify to the World Cup Finals, his best participation was reaching the Round of at the World Cup 68 and World Cup 70.

Already on how to play this team, we know that his way of defensive play is recognized and praised by many scholars in the world of football, with a six defenses, literally forms a very difficult "human wall" to penetrate due to experience of Saintland players on defense, all provided by a 6-3-1 that is hard to beat, even us to rely on a game of speed and long passes, this is complicated to see the physical qualities of the Sanctii, which are quite comprehensive and can get into more trouble.

As for predictions, we must show that we will face them at neuralgic points of the World Cup Qualifiers, first in the matchday No. 7 at Royal Stadium of St. Petrus, a stadium will be full of hungry and thirsty fans an exhibition masterful game by Saintland, who imposed their home court and secure a defeat or a tie occurs in the best for us, and at the close of the playoffs in the matchday No. 14 in Vladivostok (Time: 15 15) will be essential to have the appropriate measure to Saintland and show that our home court is a factor, with over 145,000 fans on our behalf and 52 million fans also supporting the National Team, will be a motivator for our Selecta, a victory in our own house is nothing fancy, but Saintland can spoil the party and make the game ends in a draw.

Itanpavia

Itanpavia is a fellow Esportivan nation that made their WCC debut in the World Cup 68. Though they finished with a not so bad 5-2-7, they managed to defeat Milchama twice and upset to good quality teams like the ones of Yttribia and Apox. However, they were thrashed by Felix. They were out of the Cup of Harmony and they waited for another opportunity in the World Cup 69. In their second attempt, they showed the ability to reliably beat theoretically “inferior teams”, Itanpavia finished 7-1-6, and they did not received any invitation from the Cup of Harmony hosting committee to take part of it, they did not had participation since that (6 years) and that factor of not playing since a lot of time ago might affect them for bad, though we should not give them as losers in the paper, they might give some opposition to the Selecta in some games.

Itanpavia will have the pleasure of opening the home games for La Selecta, in the matchday No. 2, which will be played at the Estadio Cuscatlan (Time: 19:30) will be a good test to see the start of our national team in this Qualifiers, certainly the environment "slightly" hostile of the Estadio Cuscatlán can tip the balance for Selecta but we should not rule out Itanpavia and ability to play on visitor status, especially if he could with strong teams such as the case of Apox in 68 World Cup, nothing is impossible but something tells me that this game will be a draw, but unfortunately Itanpavia come and make every effort to make the game ends in a draw and this will greatly benefit them. As for the game when we will visit Itanpavia for the matchday No. 9, is very safe that we will see San José Guayabal out to attack in order to get a good result, it may be a bit hard but nothing impossible, there SJG will achieve a victory that will help them to build a step to achieve the aspirations of qualifying for a new World Cup Finals.

Paymina

Life always brings coincidences like this, it is inevitable to mention that our colony, Paymina play their second round and will be the first time that San Jose Guayabal and Paymina be in the same group of qualifiers, very funny but is real, our colony will an interesting obstacle to overcome in these playoffs, will not be easy because of the history between the two teams, which slightly favors SJG with two wins and one loss against.

It is not a duel up hatred and sense of rivalry among fans in SJG, but it's a game that raises some curiosity because both nations have a similar playing style and in previous games have seen cancel each other, the curiosity lies in the surprises that can occur in these games, because Paymina variants are different.

We know that Paymina having with us as offensive and certain aesthetic quality game is based on kickbacks but unlike us, they tend to lose patience to go missing, to the point of becoming childishly drive with unnecessary fouls, that makes them lose their temper easily to potentially dangerous choices, although we know the potential and Paymina has proved to Turori in past rounds, to get a draw away, being pleasantly surprised.

In the matchday No. 4, Paymina make a tough visit to the National Stadium in Barrio El Niño (Time: 19:00), considering that fans tend to be slightly more hostile than in other parts of San José Guayabal, its radical nature is an ingredient for SJG and can motivate them in the game, a victory will be useful against Paymina in that game. Already in the game of matchday No. 11 will be in the Lulai World Cup Stadium (Time: 21:00), a place where SJG have a little extra support that normally receives visitor status, Paymina usually plays pretty well at that stage because it plays very well in large spaces such as having that stage, SJG may take domination of the game under fast attack and conscientiously and get the victory in game.

Castigonia

Castigonia, debuted in the 39th Baptism of Fire. Being the only onefrom that tournament that is competing in this edition of the World Cup. so Castigonia ended up in the Branta Group, where they won two of five matches. They went on to participate in World Cup 52, going 5-5-12 in the incredibly large qualifying, they finished 9th in a 12 team group, quite bad for this time standards but those standards might not be reliable to measure a team’s performance way so behind in the time (74 years). Their most notable result was a draw against Kelssek. Afterwards, they lost 18 cycles and after such a long time waiting, they registered into the World Cup 71. Castigonia is, likely, the lone representative from the Respected Realms, a region of the multiverse that is unheard of in San José Guayabal and probably in many corners of the multiverse, in this edition of the World Cup. Whether they will pose a challenge to the better teams in this group depends if their players still in shape (Considering that they did sort of a process to keep their players on the same age as before).

Unlike other national teams, Castigonia employs a slightly more defensive version of the 4-3-3 than the other nations, the 5-3-2 coming to have a certain time in order to protect themselves against the onslaught rival coach Jared has Highkill veterans called BoF 39 as Garrit Hewes, Benjy Michelson, Samuel Scott, among others. This keeps a good base of players who have previously played together and therefore provides a good opportunity to develop a good game together, being out of the rankings, this does not mean they are an easy team to beat, on the contrary shows which can be a stone in our way or also to another team, a potential risk.

In the matchday No. 6 which will be played at the Statoil Arena in Yuzhno Sakhalinsk, a colossal stadium where normally SJG are imposed against opponents of a certain category or at least stop them running (Time: 23:00) and it is certain that the time that has been chosen to play them with some benefit for SJG, whereas quite late but will be played at night and in winter, the weather will be in favor of La Selecta, SJG has many opportunities to win at home but we must not give by victorious against this kind of equipment, which can reach complicate in different ways, but a victory for us is nothing dared to predict. While in the matchday No. 13 in Castigonia, it is possible that the game is quite complicated and we Castigonia remove a point, ie we can possibly tie or even can get a defeat there, because we do not know different factors like the fans, the manner in which the team plays as local, and strategy, besides the quality of the pitch.

[Brenecia]

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
A-League Foundation Strong As Bardsley Stays The Short-Term Course
by Derek Mackan

The A-League's taken some significant strides recently, and the Brenecian clubs are currently ranked 17th in the multiverse. The inevitable result of this, and it's good to see, is a full fifteen A-League players in the 30-man squad for Qualifying. That's including a few expected to be in the first eleven - Camden, Portadown, Fairhall, possibly Monroe if Greig is deemed too old and slow. And there's a few players expected to make their debuts, too - Keohane's yet to play a tournament game in the navy blue and white, while Kilbane, Swain and Pendragon in the 23 are uncapped completely.

But there's just one question to be asked, with Bardsley not picking too many youths. Where is the next generation going to come from?

Bardsley's reputation in the early seasons was as someone who would groom a new era to wear Brenecian colours, and yet that really isn't reflected in the squad of today. The goalkeepers, for instance - two, uncapped, are 28, the others 31. There's one defender under the age of 27, that being the 22-year old reserve Duguid, while three 25-year old midfielders are the youngest that position has to offer. The wingers tend to be in their mid-twenties, while the strikers are 28, 28 and reserve Bryson is 30.

Where are Brenecia's young players?

There's a certain concern that the A-League isn't pumping out any, anymore. That this was a golden generation Bardsley rescued, but is there really anyone ready under the age of 25? Even Swain, at 24, is a significant step below Cullen. Where's the next Scherzer? Is it Marcia Danmark, who was quick but sometimes lacked a finishing touch for Westpike before transferring to Rozelle? Is Jess Curtin the next Erin Camden, quick, able to put in a good shift but ultimately a little lacking in cutting edge? Will it be Gretchen Colback alongside Duguid in defence in five years, a player who ticked all the physical boxes but was sometimes absent-minded and badly out of position? And it's no secret that A-League goalkeepers - Brenecian ones, anyway - are pretty dismal on the whole.

The policy with Brenecian youths recently is to train them physically first and foremost, hoping they can match in speed and work ethic what others have in actual footballing talent. As a result, the A-League is a fantastic quality to watch, played at an electrifying pace but with a lot of missed chances. The prevalence of foreign strikers doesn't help the Brenecian national team, at all - sure, Fiacre Bellerose would walk into the Brenecian national team behind Scherzer, but he's sort of inconveniently from Felix. And we haven't exported the way we used to, either - which, to be fair, reflected a lack of faith in the old Brenecian league back in the early days, but now it's a matter of getting our players to the right leagues.

We have a team that can get us to the World Cup here, without a doubt. Players like Purrington have class that will take us over the line, and Scherzer's a player who fits seamlessly into the Patriots as perfectly as any club side. But who will be left in six, four or even two years' time? And who will pick up the torch?

But that's for the future. Here and now, this weekend, Brenecia plays the Holy Republican Empire. And here and now, that's a match the Patriots can really sink their teeth into.

[Super-Llamaland]

The End - Ch. 1

March 11, 2015 - Outside Los Juantos, Peninsulera Province

Hopkins had taken his small dinghy out to sea every Saturday since he was a young man. While in the port of Coral Bay, nearby Los Juantos, the city had slowly industrialized and sprawled across the land, a great giant stalking its prey, the sea remained the same. The great ocean remained constant, indifferent to Hopkins' woes and triumphs for thirty-six years.

Many times he would take a friend out, or row alongside another. Today was one of those days - Nimetz, a family friend, was in another small boat beside him. They took their boats a few miles from the shore and let themselves drift.

"Not a bad day for fishing," Hopkins said blandly. Nimetz nodded his agreement. They found slender bamboo poles and cast their lines - neither felt the need for professional equipment; after all, the point of their fishing was not to fish. The bamboo poles would be fine, and had the added bonus of saving hundreds of dollars.

They were perfectly normal men; Hopkins was divorced, Nimetz still married. They were in their mid-fifties and were the antithesis of the Llamanean ideal - unsophisticated and pot-bellied, with a distinct unwashed smell that permeated about them at all times, no matter how much they had cleaned themselves.

"Weather's a bit odd," Nimetz said. "Storm clouds and everything." Sure enough, a line of inky clouds appeared at the horizon. "Maybe we should go in."

"Hm, I suppose you're right," Hopkins replied. They grabbed their oars and turned around. "An hour or so to the waters' edge, I'd say. We'd better make haste." The two men clumsily spun their boats around and began the arduous trip back to the shore. The clouds slowly rolled across the horizon.

After thirty minutes, they saw a ring of bright green buoys; a few minutes later the beach could be seen, a sandy line above the now-churning water. A wind began to blow, howling reedily, whipping up a spray of water, and setting the men's teeth on edge. "Sandline looks odd," Nimetz said curiously. "Higher than it should be. Probably the tide or something." Hopkins nodded.

The two cut their engines and began to row in. The shoreline was curiously high, but neither knew what tide was going on. "Tide must be really low right now," Nimetz said, "odd, because of what's ha-"

A thunderous crack; the sound of an explosion and a muffled scream. Hopkins spun around and was flattened by a wave of intense heat - he screamed and, by dint of leaning far back to one side of the dinghy, managed by sheer mass to capsize his boat. He dropped in the water with a thunderous splash, but even this wave of water did not quench the flames that now engulfed Nimetz. Hopkins tried to reach over, tip over his friend's boat, something - but the fire was too hot. He dared not go hear it.

The clouds cast midnight shadows on the sea. Hopkins, in a desperate attempt to tip the boat over, tried to throw his dinghy at Nimetz' - he managed only a weak shove that sent a wave of water onto the boat - it didn't work, the fire seemed only to spread. The fire began to spread outwards - Hopkins turned and swam to the shore.

He hadn't swam in weeks, and he barely made the five hundred meters to the surface - the water was exceptionally turbulent. Hopkins pulled himself gasping onto the beachfront, wheezing into the sand. He managed to drag himself to his car, a small and nondescript vehicle that sat forlorn on the side of the road. There, he managed to drive himself home, exhausted at his ordeal.

It was not until he saw the news the next morning when he realized the enormity of what had happened.

---

The Llamanean Public Safety Bureau - New Llama City - the evening of March 12

"Christ, Anderson! What the **** happened here, you want to tell me?" Lyndon Ellison, a stout, mustachioed middle-ranking officer was screaming at his aide. "All of the boats just caught fire, you say?"

"Sir, we don't know why, but I've told you - there's reasonable evidence to believe in every case that the gasoline engines were struck by lightning - it certainly looks that way from what we've seen," Anderson said, showing his higher-up a picture of one of the charred, barely-intact boats. It looked like it'd been locked in a fireplace for a few hours filled with molten sodium because some dolt thought that the fire would remove all of the water that threatened to cause the sodiums' detonation and therefore neutralize a threat.

"This is a boat we believe belongs to Mr. Tam Hopkins, who rented it to fish. Sure enough, remains of what might have been bamboo were found on the premises, along with the body of one Mr. Clayton Nemitz, who Hopkins confirmed was boating with him. This is just one of the eighty-nine cases we found on the southwestern coast of Super-Llamaland last night. All incidents were reported between six and nine P.M. New Llama time - in fact, there is evidence to suggest that all of it happened within thirty minutes of each other, or even at the same time."

"So eighty-nine boats were just struck by lightning, is that it?"

"Sir, while this does seem like a bit of a stretch-"

"Out with it!"

"...yes. It appears that eighty-nine boats were struck if not by lightning, then by something that would produce a similar effect. All boats reported had gasoline - or diesel, or something else nice and oily and flammable I suppose - engines. There were no survivors from those on afflicted ships. One hundred eighty-seven casualties."

"Well, I suppose Los Juantos won't be out boating for a while." Lyndon Ellison's telephone rang. He grabbed at it.

"Who the **** is it? I'm working on the Los Juantos case, this is important!" he shrieked, mustache trembling. Andersson looked at it curiously. "Don't look at my mustache that way!" he yelled, followed by an obsequious "erm, that was to my assistant. Sorry, sorry. Yes, I am working on Los Juantos - the boats, correct. Mhm. Really." Ellison's face went white. His eyes widened.

"Wheathampton too now? Christ. The entire region, I'll bet. What? You're kidding. Send me email. Christ. No. Good-bye," he said, slamming the telephone through the table, and then to Andersson - "There's been another rash of incidents. Thirteen casualties off the northwest coast. Good lord, this is bad."

"I suggest we keep the citizens out of boats for the near future, sir."

"Agreed, Andersson. Go type that - yes, of course send it to me for approval! Honestly."

[Mizuyuki]

'This is pure, undiluted bullshit, Shirakiin, and you know it.'

An inaudible sigh escaped my lips as I pretended to contemplate my plastic paperweight with intense interest.

'Pure undiluted bullshit it may be, but there is no escaping the fact that I am not giving any interviews, nor will I be doing so in the immediate future. I have already made generous allowances for your persistence by granting you an audience; now that it is abundantly clear that we must agree to disagree on this issue, I must regretfully ask you to take your leave.'

Picking up a juice bottle, I took a quick swig from it. My eyes sparkled with barely concealed delight as the reporter's pudgy face erupted into violent fissures of pulsing veins, taking on an entirely unwholesome shade of puce along the way.

Holding up a languid finger, I pointed the way to the exit.

'The door's that way. I hope you will not take offence at my failure to show you out; but as I have a great deal to attend to, I'm afraid you must find your own way out. I trust that your geographical compass is not as hopelessly skewed as your logical one appears to be.'

I allowed myself to be subjected to a most venomous glare from those piggy eyes for a couple of seconds; before too long, however, the irritating bug was stomping towards the exit. Apparently feeling a need to compensate for his ineptness in the debating department, the large man swung the glass door of my office closed with such force that the fragile glass shattered with a fierce crack, showering the tiled floor with a fine mist of splinters.

'Oh, and don't worry - we'll send you the bill for the repairs!'

I chuckled quietly to myself as I watched the great oaf's figure receding from sight - with a little bit of imagination I could imagine his immense, gleaming bald pate flying off his head in an almighty explosion of rage, coupled with jets of steam shooting out of his pendulous ears.

It might not compare with the sheer fun of having a ball at my feet, but putting down self-satisfied journalists was such an emotionally rewarding pastime.

With the unpleasant cockroach safely out of the way, I turned my attention to more pressing matters requiring my immediate attention - namely, selecting the final twenty-three members of the Mizuyukian senior squad for World Cup qualifying. Naturally, priding myself on being a most conscientious manager, I had, practically speaking, initiated the selection process once the Di Bradini Cup had reached its conclusion. Before that, it had been rough slogs of scouting trips - together with a veritable army of scouts and coaches, we had travelled all around the multiverse to watch matches and scout promising talent for the Mizuyukian side.

Today would be the culmination of all those months of unrewarding effort. From a personal perspective, there could be no doubt about the regular starting eleven; they would comprise the usual suspects that I had painstakingly coached and developed into world-class talents over the past three years of my tenure. While the youth teams had already shown great promise - especially Shirazaka and Kiriyama's U21s, who had already accomplished the incredible feat of reaching two consecutive DBC finals - they were not quite ready to usurp their seniors' positions.

That being so, however, they were more than ready of making the step up to the senior squad - if not as full members of the starting eleven, then as useful squad players whom I could rely upon to do a job. Due to the random nature of my selections several cycles ago, when I relied more on scouting reports from lackluster staff than my own judgement, there were still several members of the senior squad who were definitely not deserving of a spot in the squad, be it on talent or form. I had already decided that I would take this opportunity to cull them; separating the wheat from the chaff, as it were, was only one of my various other duties as manager.

Turning my eyes to the squad list that already lay before me, I smiled with some satisfaction at a job well done. I had exhausted every possible means of ascertaining the quality of my selections; naturally, by that same token I was also confident that I had made the best picks available to me under the circumstances.

Kiyoko Takanashi in goal; with Eri Shigure and Misa Nakai as backups. Takanashi had been a regular in my squad ever since I took over from Ishikawa-senpai; and even though she was particularly susceptible to careless mistakes and lapses in judgement and concentration, as of now she remained the best goalkeeper we had on the books. Meanwhile, our second and third choices held promise; Shigure was a key member of the DBC squad that lost to Schottia on penalties in the final, while Nakai was a rough diamond one of my scouts had unearthed in one of IFA's many academies. Privately, I had already lined up Shigure as a future replacement for Takanashi; while the younger girl was not as technically accomplished as her older counterpart, she provided a far safer pair of hands - at least I could rely on her not to spill a tame shot in every other game.

In defence, I would be sticking to the tried and tested combination of Sato, Ishio, Mikasa and Natsume. While the four of them had not exactly covered themselves in glory in the past cycle, I had already had the opportunity to drill them in several of my newly formulated defensive routines; and I was fairly confident that they were, from a tactical perspective, sound enough to carry out my instructions. I was, of course, hoping that the new defensive tactics would be able to successfully shore up our leaky defence while not sacrificing any of our old potency in attack. If a lack of versatile personnel proved to be the problem, I could still call upon the services of Mashiro Tachibana, Gin Iseya and Yuiko Kasugano; as with Shigure, all three were regulars in Shirazaka's wildly successful U21 team, and I had been personally assured that they had the ability to mix it with the very best given time and experience.

Midfield was a story of same old, same old. Ruiko Saten and Tomoe Ishibashi, one of the most potent partnerships I have seen forged in recent times, would be reprising their roles at the base of midfield; again, I would be counting on Saten's dynamism and Ishibashi's impressive creative skills to break down the opposition. Meanwhile, there would be new blood coming in in the form of Kanade Kirisaki and Hino Asahi; I had heard only good things about the tireless Kirisaki, who was said to be the youth teams' very own version of Saten, while Asahi was primarily there to shore up the squad in the case of injury. Kirisaki was, barring exceptional extenuating circumstances, going to receive her first senior cap come the end of the qualifying phase in line with my policy of bleeding new talent every now and then; while I was hoping to be able to see more of Asahi before I made a decision either way.

The attacking quadrumvirate would remain totally unchanged. Tsuchimikado, the captain, was undroppable under any circumstances on current form; she was, without exaggeration, the most potent offensive weapon that I had at my disposal, and barring injury or rotation she would likely be playing every single match throughout the qualifying campaign. I sometimes entertained fantasies that she was actually an advanced robot masquerading as a football player; she had played the full ninety minutes in all of the national team's matches last WCQ, and she had done the same in the cycle before that.

On the left of the four-pronged trident would be Kaori Uryu, the pace merchant. Uryu was perhaps the single most important member of the national team, second only to Tsuchimikado; while she did not have the pure creative ability of Ishibashi nor the goalscoring prowess of Kurugaya, she was undoubtedly the most incisive player that we possessed within our ranks. Without her ability to unlock a stubborn defence with magnificently timed runs and positioning, the team's offensive output would be drastically reduced. On the other wing would be Mika Isshiki, the archetypal inverted winger who was so crucial towards our attacking on the right flank. With her presence and movement, the normally more conservative Sato was given license to move forward in support of the attack, and it was a most fruitful approach that had reaped rich rewards in the past. Not that Isshiki wasn't technically talented in her own right; although she was perhaps slightly inferior to Uryu in that respect, she could still hold her own against most defenders and goalkeepers under normal circumstances.

Leading the attack would be - who else could it be? - Miki Kurugaya. The lanky forward, who had made the spot her own ever since she successfully deposed Airi Izawa and Misaki Miyazaki a couple of cycles ago, was a finisher par excellence; as evidenced by her impressive goal tallies over the past two cycles, both for club and country. Prolific on the ground and in the air, I was hoping that she would contribute immensely to our push for qualification by putting together a magnificent run of form, as she had done in the past cycle. Sitting prettily in the reserve container were Rin Sasahi, Kirara Steiner, Reika Itsuka and Koeda Sakuranami; Sakuranami and Steiner would be viable options when the need for rotation arose, but Sasahi and Itsuka, I wasn't so sure about; the former had never completed a full game at U21 level, while the latter had shown bursts of promise from time to time but proven to be reliably unreliable in terms of form.

'By Kirigiri, what's this almighty mess, gaffer?'

I looked up from my reverie to find my captain leaning against the frame of the door, a contemplative expression plastered across her face as she chewed on a piece of gum and surveyed the wreckage that littered the entrance.

I let out a little sigh.

'Get rid of that disgusting piece of gum, Tsuchimikado, and get the janitor in here to clean up this mess. We'll be taking training at the usual time today - so make sure you're not bloody late again!'

[Equestrian States]

World Cup 71 Qualifying: Group 4 Preview

And so the Daily Journal's group-by-group look at the upcoming qualifiers for the 71st World Cup reaches the Equestrian States' own group. Though far from being the most difficult qualifying group based on ranks alone, it's one of this year's more interesting groups as a number of the teams have seen success on the international stage will feature three sides which qualified for the last World Cup.

---

The Teams

---

Buyan
KPB Ranking: 19th | World Cup 70: 2nd in Group E, Eliminated in Round of 16
The top seeds in Group 4 and one of several newer teams to rapidly climb the rankings over the past several years, Buyan is a nation which few Equestrian hoofball fans think fondly of as the first Buyanese appearance in the World Cup finals came at the expense of the Ponies. With most of the team's players hailing from the up-and-coming Buyanese league, the Blue Hedgehogs have plenty of talented players available and will be favorites to win the group, though likely not by a very wide margin given who else is in the group.

Equestrian States
KPB Ranking: 28th | World Cup 70: 1st in Group A, Eliminated in Round of 16
Not far behind Buyan in the rankings are the Ponies of the Equestrian States. Coming off an impressive performance in front of their home supporters in the 70th World Cup, the Equestrians will have their eyes set not only on a return to the finals but on avenging their humiliating playoff defeat to a Buyanese team then ranked just 104th several years ago. Though the Equestrian States may not have the best qualifying roster out there, the Ponies' starting XI is an intimidating force to be reckoned with that is entirely capable of beating any team when playing at its best.

Kandorith
KPB Ranking: 47th | World Cup 70: 4th in Group H
Kandorith isn't a nation many Equestrians will be familiar with, and though the Red Dragons have made a couple appearances in the World Cup finals, they've never impressed on the biggest stage. Still, Kandorith could very deal upsets to the top two seeds and will certainly hope to sneak back into the finals yet again to prove their worth, though winning the group is likely beyond their capabilities.

Kernansquillec
KPB Ranking: 69th | World Cup 70: Did Not Qualify
A dark horse for the playoff spot, Kernansquillec has been gradually making its way up the rankings for a little while now and has the potential to beat any of the group's top seeds but could just as easily disappoint. It's hard to say if Kernansquillec will emerge as a credible threat in the final stretch, but expect them to give the other top three teams a hard time.

Estenia
KPB Ranking: 140th | World Cup 70: Did Not Qualify
Eh, Estenia. Relative newcomers to the international scene, the Estenians are in that rankings purgatory where results can be difficult to predict. If the Estenians do their best, stealing points from the better teams in the group is a possibility, but a poor performance could easily result in defeat to a lower-ranked side. Given the gulf in class between Estenia and the top four nations in the group, it's most likely they'll end up somewhere around the middle of the table.

Matthewisania
KPB Ranking: 180th | World Cup 70: N/A
One of three teams making their World Cup qualifying debut here, Matthewisania impressed at the Baptism of Fire and won the bronze with a third place finish. Though some members of this team have shown talent and Matthewisania could very well punch above their weight in this group, they're unlikely to be in playoff contention though higher-ranked teams will need to take them seriously or potentially suffer an upset.

Thibaut
KPB Ranking: 262nd | World Cup 70: N/A
Another debuting team, Thibaut performed reasonably well in the Baptism of Fire, but with a group like this it's hard to see them causing many problems for the top sides. An average team at best, they'll likely be an also-ran by the final day of qualifying and be nowhere near the top half of the group, maybe not even in the middle.

Windsor Islands
KPB Ranking: 342nd | World Cup 70: N/A
A poor showing in the Baptism of Fire and the near absence of any information regarding the Windsor Islands, much less their national team, gives no indication that they'll have any impact on the group in the end and will likely be lucky to avoid finishing dead last.

---

Projected Final Table

---

  Group 4               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
1 Equestrian States      14   12   1   1    28    7  +21    37   Q
2 Buyan                  14   11   3   0    30    3  +27    36   P
3 Kandorith              14    8   2   4    38   26  +12    26
4 Kernansquillec         14    8   0   6    25   20   +5    24
5 Estenia                14    4   2   8    13   27  −14    14
6 Thibaut                14    3   2   9    13   18   −5    11
7 Matthewisania          14    2   5   7    13   22   −9    11
8 Windsor Islands        14    0   1  13     9   46  −37     1

Results based on 10,000 computer simulations using ScorePredictor technology

[Eura]

'...I do solemnly vow, with the mandate given to me by the peoples of the Federation, of its six regions, and by the state, to serve with integrity, and to ensure at all times that I serve only the state and people before all else...'

The Prime Ministers Oath of Ascension to Office was a small ceremonial detail blown out of proportion by the media in Eura. They painted it as this symbol of the transfer of powers, and of the connection between the leadership and the people, but the real constraints of power to any Euran leader were simple; the support of parliament, of the economy, of the people, and of the military. Many Euran leaders had been forced out by popular pressure, violently in the streets and more recently through democratic means. Parliament had brought down the last Social Party government. The economy had brought down governments too, albeit some time ago. Only the military had failed to bring down a government since before the conversion to democracy in Eura - but in this era of the Euran military leviathan, any Prime Minister who did something particularly mad would know that the army could depose him in thirty minutes if they wanted to. However the real reason Michael Judge didn't care for it was because he had already taken the oath last time. This was just a confirmation that now he was an elected Prime Minister, not a caretaker.

Why he was allowing himself to think about this sort of thing, he didn't know. He was a popularly elected Prime Minister now, and that was all that had mattered. At the end of the financial and work year, with the election slightly delayed again due to a national weather emergency and the Copa Rushmori no longer distracting the population, the people of Eura went to the polls. All of two and a bit billion people were able to vote, and nearly two billion did - a record turnout in recent years. For the first time in recent memory, a majority government that was not formed by neither the Social or Capital party was in charge. The Liberal Party had taken their opportunity in coalition government well, and the opportunity provided by a party political scene in dissaray even better. The Capital Party had imploded and lost hundreds of marginal seats in the east and south to the Liberals, while the Social's found themselves losing enough heartland seats just to make a difference. Judge flicked over the data in the paper at his desk with a warm feeling in his heart. The parties had come into the election with little change in the seat arrangement since the last election; 40 seats had changed hands in by-elections.

The Social Party lost 14, the Capital Party lost another 10, the Civil Federalists had lost 2 and 14 of the 16 Veterans Party seats had been handed over straight to the Liberal's when they defected after Judge offered a massive package for veterans if he won the next election (the two remaining Veteran MP's disbanded their party and became independents loyal to the Capital Party). Of the 26 seats lost by the other three big parties, 17 had been won by the Liberals amongst their wave of popularity, while the Social Party snatched 5 of those dropped by Capital, who themselves took 2 Social seats, while the remaining two fell to the MIP. Therefore, with the election looming, the arrangement of seats was as follows according to Judge's paper;

Social - 1,041
Capital - 946
Liberal - 478
Civil Federalist - 228
MIP - 128
Euran Independent - 101
Communist - 76
Independents - 2

It had been a massive gap to close, and yet they had closed it. The polls, even at the height of the unprecedented Liberal surge nationwide, had been predicting a hung parliament almost unanimously with the Liberals maybe being bigger than the Social Party. In practice the Liberal's won an incredible 1,524 seats - the slimmest of majorities - in the biggest swing in favour of a party in Eura since the formation of the Capital Party in Eura's second General Election of the modern era, after the Social Party had won what was at the time a one party contest the first time round. It had been enabled not just by the Liberal's strengths, but because every other party was, in some way, in chaos. No party would get a swing of 1,046 in its favour otherwise.

The most important party crisis was the unprecedented fall of the Capital Party. It wasn't dead of course, as none of the big three parties in Eura can really die. They were and still are too big to fail. However the Capital Party, sidelined in its own coalition by an internal party split and ideological battles, tore itself apart mid-election campaign and could only be reconciled by the resignation of half of the leadership, including Adam Barker, with the coalition Home Minister Laura Gregory taking over as party leader, the woman who perhaps should've taken over earlier after Crow went rather than Barker. It was too little too late though. Gregory had become a poisoned chalice in the public eye and had lost her one card that could be played; her popularity with the female electorate. She had lost it to the Liberal's Amy Yarley. Every other Capital heavyweight had been blown asunder electorally - many lost their seats - with the exception of Gregory herself of course, and the somehow invulnerable Minister of Defence Robert Anderson. He became deputy leader just a few days before the election as the Capital Party crashed out of its opportunisitcally formed government and into electoral oblivion, losing 476 seats, leaving it on a measly 470 which was less than the Liberal's had come into government with as the second party in a coalition. It was Capital's worst election result for many years.

James Tynan had lead the Social Party, still the largest party in the country, throughout their bizarre period as a strong opposition to the coalition. However the party had not recovered well from the implosion of the Lafferton administration and despite Tynan's relative popularity, they slid further electorally in opposition. Tynan was dispatched from the party leadership immediately after this election with new leadership elections imminent, and its not hard to see why. Despite the calamitous downfall of the Capital Party in the polls, and the Liberal surge hurting them more than Social, Tynan's campaign had been weak and they managed to still lose seats, becoming Eura's second party as they slid down to 816 seats, a 225 seat loss that would have been an outrage if the Capital Party had not made it look pretty mild. What saved them from similar humiliation was the troubles of the Civil Federalist and Communist parties. Meanwhile the Liberal's "little brother" party, the slightly more left wing Meritocratic Implementation Party, had been reminded why many Liberal's dismissed it as a pressure group. It had always been said that if a Liberal government became plausible then the MIP would have an identity crisis and collapse, and it effectively did as its almost exclusively eastern constituencies collapsed to Liberal control, a consequence of the MIP's seemingly irrelevant and powerless presence in the coalition. They had been fifth with 128 seats (an incredible position after they had been on 10 seats at the last election), but like the Veteran's Party they experienced a meltdown when the Liberals presented a more credible alternative. They were now back down to 23 seats.

It isn't like the rest of the left did any better. If anything saved the Social Party's blushes apart from the Capital collapse, it was the collapse of the former fourth party, the Civil Federalists. They too were a smaller party who had briefly blossomed, a more firmly left wing party than Social holding 228 seats going into the election. However, Brian Gossall's leadership had been a bit of a disaster in opposition with the Social Party. He was not a convincing leader. Also, the many ex-military votes which had gone to the Veterans Party or the Civil Federalist's because of his leadership (as a former military man) had deserted him as the Liberal's appeased that group. A slight shift to the left by the Social Party took the sting out of the Civil Federalist challenge, and now they were in free fall under Herman Graham's leadership after Gossall had resigned a year before the election. Their 228 seat stake in the house had now been reduced to just 95 seats, back to roughly where they had started at the previous election. Their party had lost the minor contribution of the Veteran's but more importantly the disillusioned Social voters of the last election who had voted for them were now returning to sender - or even worse, voting for the Liberals. Their survival was perhaps ensured by the less dramatic decline of the Communist Party, who were shedding both far left voters (to the Civil Federalists) in light of some barmy election policies, who had a dreadfully uninspiring leadership, and who were losing the protest voters who returned to Social. They retained their core support base, but their share of the seats dropped by nearly half to 39 seats from 76.

Then there was the Euran Independence Party. It had been irrelevant in government, it had been irrelevant in the polls, and now it imploded. Its votes scattered everywhere. 20 of its MP's became independents, a few joined the Capital Party making their hiding look less atrocious. The spread of Pan-Rushmorism and Eura's World Assembly delegacy had been the straw that broke the camels back. Now they had only 5 seats, losing 96, less than all of the independent MP's combined - who went from 2 to 22, the only group seemingly to gain apart from the Liberals. In fact the crushing victory of the Liberal Party in an era in which every other party had become the subject of disillusionment and scorn (with the exception of the Social Party in the eyes of those returning from the clutches of the other left wing parties) left only one other party gaining ground; remarkably, a satirical party, a "wasted vote" party. Ironically, the satirical hit novel Euraucracy had not persuaded people not to vote, but persuaded them to vote Liberal or to vote for the long established satirical Backwards Party. They had won six seats without a manifesto promise to speak of that they would ever deliver. Judge had laughed when he saw them come out ahead of the Euran Independence Party, but now he had to take them seriously as their candidates were making semi-humorous, semi-serious phone calls to his office asking for help running things after they had unexpectedly gained power over six million people. No-one expected them to retain their seats for long as rumours of universal resignation circled. Judge reflected on all of this as he stared down at the page to see the final results.

Liberal - 1,524 (+1,046)
Social - 816 (-225)
Capital - 470 (-476)
Civil Federalist - 95 (-133)
Communist - 39 (-37)
MIP - 23 (-105)
Backwards - 6 (+6)
EIP - 5 (-96)
Independents - 22 (+20)

Now he had to stop thinking about all of that though. Now he had to get to work running the country.

[Yttribia]

Sing Along!

Ohh...you've got all these RPs, and here's the cut-off chop. And if you forgot to click submit then there's tomorrow! And I have all your posts to grade, the sight will make me cray, but all the same I scorinate cause that's what I'm all about...

Oh!!!!!

Chopchopchopchopchopchopchop You're clicking "refreshing!" And now it's time to end this first day of RPing!

MATCHDAY ONE CUTOFF

[Vilita and Turori]

A STUDY IN PREDICTIVE AI

TROPICOAST, TROPICORP :: Tropicorp Sports, The Football Association of Vilita and the Football Association of Turori are proud to present the World Cup 71 Madness tournament.

World Cup 71 Madness is a virtually simulated competition running concurrently with the World Cup 71 qualifying campaign, putting 68 of the worlds best teams in a head-to-head knockout simulation until only one team remains - the Champion.

Spawned from a Tropicorp Artificial Intelligence Team (TAIT) Research & Development effort on "Predictive Intelligence" - the World Cup 71 Madness tournament uses a Tropicorp developed virtual simulation engine in a fantastical bracket-style 'tournament'.

In the experimental 'virtual competition' - any single defeat will eliminate a team from competition, which will be bracketed much like a single elimination Domestic Cup competition or knockout phase; opposed to the traditional table based competition typically seen in World Cup Qualifying and Group Stages.

The rationale for the simplified format for this initial foray into Predictive Intelligence is the additional complexity that would be required in predicting "Alternate Scenario Responses" - or ASR's; in a table-based system. By removing the table - and thereby the interdependancies of tertiary results, the equations and thereby the calculations become much simpler in the code base.

Originally planned as a simple 64 team elimination bracket style simulation, there was some consternation from the Tropicorp Engineering staff as they argued on who the final teams in the simulation would be. Eventually, they were able to agree upon a 68 team format, with 16 of the teams squaring off in a preliminary simulation stage - whereby 8 teams will effectively be eliminated before the proper simulation even begins.

The format of the bracket is found here:

While the coding has all be completed at Tropicorp's Research & Development center in Tropicoast; the actual simulations will take place in Vilita & Turori with super computer calculations at 4 well-known institutions - 2 in Vilita and 2 in Turori; up until the Final 3 matches which will be moved to the central computer at the Tropicoast facility due to the complexity involved in transferring the data for the 'champion' of each sub group into a new simulation.

While Tropicorp officials are working out the final coding and delivering the simulation packages to the individual computation sites; officials from the Vilitan & Turorian institutions continue to debate over which nations from amongst the over 160 entered in World Cup 71 will be selected to fill the 68 places in the bracket.

It is expected that they will announce the final selections in the coming days before promptly beginning computations in Vilita & Turori's first public foray into Predictive Intelligence.

[Nephara]

THE BRINEMOUTH HERALD
NEPHARA SLUMPS TO DEFEAT AGAINST RESOLUTE BARANGAY
by Theodora Kenway
The Royal Barangay: Balido; dela Vega, Arceo, Docdoc (c), Bayona (Bautista 82'); Belga; K. Khan (Doquenia 67'), Linsangan; E. Khan; Corsiga, Conanan (Marabella 63')
Goals: Arceo 25', E. Khan 36', Marabella 83', Linsangan 90'
Nephara: Ballard; Rhein (Christener 45'), Belfast (c), Marlowe (s/o 70'), Stockinger (Kestrel 86'); Bottlegreen (Stubbs 71'), Ashdown, Murdoch, Connacht; Quinn, Rowland
Goals: Connacht 12', Rowland 42'

After the closing matches of the Campionato Esportiva and the Liberty Cup defeat to Brenecia, the Cormorants have slumped to a record fourth consecutive defeat.

The Royal Barangay had a lot to make up for after failing to impress in recent cycles, and early on looked likely to repeat their recent defeat to the Cormorants as they were put under decisive pressure. It didn't take long for there to be a goal - Balido did well to get down for Quinn's snap-shot on the edge of the box, but there was nothing he could do as Connacht stole ahead of dela Vega to smash the ball in. But the determined Agilang Dilaw showed the spirit to fight back, Corsiga especially forcing some good saves from Ballard. As it turned out, their way back into the game came from a resulting corner - Linsangan putting it in dangerously, poor defending giving Arceo a free header and the ball whipping into the net. The hosts were level.

The tempo was raised, and it stayed that way. After a frantic series of passes, Balido was severely tested by a powerful drive from Ashdown, but the high Nepharim line didn't cope well with the dangerous long balls fed down by the fullbacks to the prowling strikers. But it was an uncharacteristic error courtesy of Markus Rhein that opened the way, an easy short pass that went wayward, intercepted by Bayona who hit the ball forward to the energetic Conanan. The 23-year old striker outpaced the aging Nepharim defenders, drew Ballard's attention before cutting back to Erick Khan. The Crisisbless midfielder skipped over a sliding challenge by former teammate Stockinger before shooting high into the underside of the net.

That forced Nephara to press forward, and that they did with relish. Quinn headed over the bar from a Bottlegreen cross, and Bottlegreen herself came close with a raking ball that beat Balido and barely went past the far post, but it was ultimately Rowland who pulled one back - finding his way onto Murdoch's pass, rolling with the punches as he brutally got past three different defenders before smashing a left-footed shot past Balido. In the 42nd minute, so close to half time, surely it would demoralise the home team.

And that set the scene for an infuriating second half. Poor Nepharim finishing, strong Barangayan defending and, crucially, after Nephara had looked so strong on the wings throughout the match, some nice distribution from Balido set up fresh substitute Marabella to start something. Seeing him clear on goal, Marlowe felt she had no choice but to bring him down, clipping his ankles with a sliding challenge that did at least attempt to take the ball. It would've had to be inch perfect, and it wasn't. Marlowe took an early shower, and the Barangay didn't look back.

Neither did Nephara, despite being forced into a 4-3-2. They kept pressing forward, and while Quinn got the ball into the net from a forward ball from Murdoch he was a clear foot offside. Things were frantic, they lacked a finishing touch, and just as it looked like Riether was going to order them to be more cautious in the final minutes, Marabella stuck it into the back of the net off a fantastic dela Vega cross, a volley that left Ballard with no chance.

The Cormorants went for broke in the final minutes, and it wasn't enough - in fact, it compounded the scoreline when Linsangan's long strike dipped past Ballard for a fourth in the second minute of stoppage time. In the end, the better team had won - and Nephara was left with the unenviable task of needing to halt a disastrous run of form next week, or a cruisy-looking group risks suddenly getting significantly more dangerous.

Riether walked into the dressing room.
The temptation was there for anger. Truth be told, she had to restrain the urge to hurl her clipboard at Marlowe's neck. She felt humiliated, personally. This was her fourth straight defeat, and that wasn't something... that wasn't what she'd expected. It shouldn't have been this way.

It all worked out on paper. But what looked more convincing than paper was the final scoreline, and that didn't make easy reading.

She knew you could let the anger go. Waste it. Just vent at the squad, watch it bounce off them. They know you aren't happy, why waste time telling them?

"I'm disgusted that you let that one slip," she said, quietly. "Like I was disgusted with Earo, and with Brenecia. Every defeat hurts. No defeat is 'okay'. When we lose, there is no point at which it is 'acceptable'. I know people back home are thinking, well, we're likely to win our next seventeen, right? Wrong. Complacency's why Nephara's been shit through three of the last four qualifying stages, and it's why I'm here - to nip that in the bud before it starts to infect you all more than it already has. Next we play Quakmybush. Do not disappoint me."

She turned. She left. And quietly, she closed the door behind her.

[Electrum]

Centralis Herald - News Section - Janine Connell

Election season around the multiverse as Electrum finishes Governor selection

Elections throughout the universe are the fundamental way of choosing who gains power in democratic governments. In Eura, the Liberal Party was swept into power, gaining a majority of the seats in the three-thousand strong parliament. The Cenians have already chosen their candidates in upcoming elections, and the Nepharans look set to get into their election too. Electrum, held it's election during the last World Cup which determined who would have the majority to form government. Long story short, elections are used to determine who controls the government. And in most other nations, the head of state is elected by the people too, to serve as a form of check and balance against the government. Some nations don't even have a head of state, and some nation's head of state is from a monarchy.

But Electrumites have a completely different system, which is almost unheard of throughout the multiverse. Every year, the Provincial Governors and the Federal Governor-General are up for re-selection. Note the change in vocabulary - it's not an election, but it's a selection. Electrum, a nation founded on republican principles, did not want a monarchy ruling over the people, but could not trust the tyranny of the majority in determining who would be the head of each province and state. So an ingenious solution was set out, an one that is unique to Electrum only. That is, the system of sortition.

Just what is sortition you may ask? It is simply a system where the selection of Provincial Governors and Federal Governor-Generals are done through random selection. It is an absolutely fascinating system, where all citizens get to participate in (given they aren't mentally handicapped, of a certain age - 21, are not bankrupt, are not a criminal, and not currently working for the judiciary or in the bureaucracy -- those who do not want to participate may opt out as well). All eligible citizens are given a number starting from one, and continues on until everyone has a number. It is then put into a random number generator, powered by the solar winds up above the atmosphere to select one person from each province, and one person to represent the entire nation. They are the governors for that year.

This principle, based on Athenian democracy, is all about the principle that everyone is equal. There is an equal opportunity for everyone to be Governor, and these positions of influence and power aren't cordoned off to the major parties, to business interests or to lobbyists. For some, the power is overwhelming - to represent their nation and province in high-level talks, and to promote Electrum diplomacy and trade interests throughout the multiverse. This system allows minority representation, and fairness in allowing any normal citizen from being allowed to enter the draw. Also, it allows the non-aligned to have a say -- at any one time, more than 90% of parliamentarians in all of the Electrum parliaments are part of a political party with their own interests, with sortition, the Governors have only the interests of the people.

Although an imperfect system, this system allows for accountability by the government, and allows an injection into common-sense principles into day-to-day governance. Governments must implement policies which do not serve their own self-interests, but to the interests of the greater community as a whole. The veto power Governors can have (by refusing to give their assent to legislation) is extremely powerful, and holds governments to account.

The selection, which was conducted at prime time yesterday has yielded some interesting results. In the national selection, which is traditionally held first, the outgoing G-G, Governor-General Thorne, pressed the button in the Selection computer, and Governor-General Wunderlich was selected. According to the file, Julia Wunderlich is a single mother living in Greenway, a small rural town to the west of Agri, and has three children. Then came the other selections for the other provinces. As always, all spots were filled by a random number generator powered by solar wind, and the computer code were checked several times by thirty independent technicians to ensure that there would be no doubt about the vote. These were

• Governor Andersen, Greater Centralis
• Governor Mikolau, Culver
• Governor Mikkelson, Parkleigh
• Governor Ruratunga, Lyoness
• Governor Fine, Deltan
• Governor Allenby, Fairmont
• Administrator Fennel (Mining Territories)
• Administrator XXXXfolau'Margaret (Kale Island)

The Centralis Herald congratulates those selected to be governors for the 2015-2016 period. We wish them the best of luck in their duties.

[Estenia]

Estenia wins Windsor Islands


The goal celebration at the 75th minute

Windsor Island's National Team Stadium, Windsor Islands

Estenia starts the World Cup Qualifiers with a very smooth 0-1 win against the Windsor Islands, on a very well paced away match in the Windsor Islands. The island who was hosting the match being hit by storms at the first half, but that didn't make the Estenian players feel worse, instead they felt like they had to give it all against a squad that seems weak but it is actually better than the Estenian one. Windsor Islands used their normal line-up and Estenian line-up had a minor change with Makarov replacing Adrianov in the starting line-up and Maksimov was given some time to rest in the bench and was replaced by Lazrovich.

The coins were flipped first as in every match, heads was picked by Estenians, tails by the Windsor Islands. It was tails and the Windsor Islands picked their side and to start the match. Estenians on the right, Windsors on the left. The match began after the Devontian refferee named Tobius Brown blew the whistle. The Windsorians started pretty well against the Estenians, with a great passing game that was confusing the Estenian team at the start of the game, but soon thereafter, the Estenian squad started pressuring the Windsorian side. First shot of the game was in the 17th minute, a close range shot made by Maltsev who was passed by Makarov, somewhere in a 15 meter range and ended up being keeped by the Windsorian goalkeeper. The second chance of the first half was made by Windsor Islands, in a stunning counter-attack against the Estenian team in the 19th minute. Luckily, Lazrovich was there for the rescue, a great jump on the upper left corner and an one handed save and went out for a corner. The corner was made on the 21st minute. Nice cross by the Windsorian captain, though Aleksandar Nazarenkov was there to head the ball outside the box. Fourth chance of the game was made by the Estenian team on the 37th minute, when Lovariev passed it to Makareshi, who crossed it on the right side for Stamatev, who dribbled a couple of defenders to cross it at the box, with Nikolaev heading it just a couple of centimeters outside the left side of the post. This was the last chance of the first half, the next minutes were a passing game by Estenians trying to find room so they can make one more chance and win that game. On the 45 +2 minutes, the refferee blew the whistle for the first half's end.

Inside the Estenian room, Eenpalu was trying to find tactics so his players can play a more open minded game, with passes and long crosses, as well as far range shot. He told his players to pass the ball to either Makarov or Nikolaev when they are in the front lines. That way, there will be a more secured game by the Estenian squad.

The second half began with Maltsev getting out being replaced by Kopranovich. This way the match will be a more balanced one and open minded. Estenians had the ball when Tobius Brown blew the whistle for the start of the second half. Quickly, Windsorians take the ball and Peehlak tackles the Windsorian player and is being awarded with a yellow card. 57th minute, Makarov gets out and is being replaced by Adrianov. Soon thereafter, Adrianov is getting passed by Lovariev and he shoots it right in the keeper's hands. The Estenians are worried, they cannot play very well in this game, even though they attack the opposing side minute by minute. Finally, Nikolaev is the saviour for that game. It is the 7th minute, Adrianov passes it to Nikolaev, who counters with the Windsorian keeper and he shoots the ball on the upper left side of the keeper's goal ending in a stunning goal. And the scoreboard was finally writing 'Windsor Islands 0-1 Estenia'. The Estenian players couldn't be happier after that goal, but they didn't settle down with that, they threatened the Windsorians once more with an Adrianov shot, ending on the upper side of the post and ending with a free kick on the 87th minute. On 90 +4 minutes, Tobius Brown blows the whistle and the Estenian team is celebrating their first win of the qualifiers.

After the match, Estenians weren't in any sort of an interview as they were very tired and they had to leave the stadium quick to return to Murin so they can train for their upcoming game, against Baptism of Fire 54 and strongest team of the group Buyan, in a game that Estenians must be careful in order not to lose in a high score, or even take a draw in order to avoid defeat. All those will happen in 2 days from now so stay tuned and read more of our articles. Thanks for reading!

[Brenecia]

Isadora Cullen loved the Qualifiers.
Okay, so she loved football full-stop. But it was different with the Patriots, compared to Barbury Town. Barbury was a big fish in a big lake, and she was a small fish in that big fish. The second name on the bench after the backup keeper. Fans would see the numbers flickering on and off. "Who's coming on for Curio? Oh, yeah... that Brenecian chick..."
She did well for them. And they did well by her, too - she'd learned a lot, and seen some great things, played on the highest of stages. But nothing had compared to the thrill of wearing the Brenecian shirt.
When she closed her eyes she could still see her goal at the World Cup. With the local commentary, too. Seeing the space clear up as Scherzer drifted wide in possession, drawing off his markers... "Spitfire clips a forward pass to Schzerzer, Scherzer leaves Provenza in his wake, gets past Garcia, cutback for- CULLEN! ISADORA CULLEN SMASHES PAST NUREMBERG WITH THE EQUALISER, WITH BRENECIA'S FIRST WORLD CUP GOAL!"
Sweet memories.
And qualifying gave her more chances in the spotlight. Consistently, too. She was Brenecia's number 7, their leading light on the right, a player with flair and guile and pace... she was good, damn it, and she knew it. Felt good to flaunt it.

The Campionato had been less positive. For one, thanks to the off-field concerns, the attention was always fixed on the woman a little more to her left and behind. The second reason was simply that she didn't perform especially well, failing to score. Just seeming that little bit off the pace. She'd been accused of not being fully match-fit, which was ridiculous. But it hadn't been her finest set of performances, and she felt like she had something to prove.

So this match was important. She'd not been used in the Liberty Cup victory, one in which Adelaide Swain (a nice girl, she thought. Fairly dim, but a nice girl who meant well) had chalked up an assist perfectly for Keohane, and fortunately that hadn't put either of them on the teamsheet for today. Catherine Bardsley had an undisputed first eleven, and Cullen was on it.
And it felt good to walk out into the sunset in the Olympic Stadium. She could take the pressure.
It was the match everyone expected. Flowing, free-spirited, with Fairhall under pressure from the get-go. Pozenel in particular was lighting up the stadium, looking dangerous every time he got a sniff of the ball, testing Fairhall fiercely in the second minute with a raking ball she did well to tip away. And in the sixth, Theodore played him through Monroe and Faulkner was forced to come across and only the finest of sliding challenges denied the Iradi striker a one-on-one chance. The pattern continued, with the crowd baying for Brenecian blood.
It took until the twelfth minute for Brenecia to get their first decent chance. Purrington - clearly irritated by the derisive chants she was getting from the crowd - smashed a shot against the crossbar in an inspired fit of pique. Cullen herself was getting a fair bit of stick, too. But she was yet to have a decent spell in possession. Her time would come, she'd be sure of it.
But Republican chances kept coming... and eventually, while it wasn't Pozenel, he was the provider as he skipped past Monroe and lofted it to Hinriksson at the far post, who just headed it into the net. Fairhall was without a chance.

Brenecia needed a break. 1-0 down with sixteen minutes played, they'd get slaughtered if this kept up...
Cullen shook her head and got back to the halfway line.

Seven minutes later, the Patriots had at least managed to hold their own for a while. And Erin Camden, having hard-won a small bit of space, hoofed the ball forward into space on the left.
Cullen glanced over - that was Connolly's area. And the Brinemouth winger was tailing off after it, Labrecque reluctantly tailing afterwards.
Cullen drifted inside. She sensed an opportunity here.
Connolly beat Labrecque to it, before cutting past him. Brenecians in all-white kits were starting to head forwards, now, and Connolly was left with acres of space. Lukic tried to tail her, but she outpaced him and hit in the cross. Scherzer hurtled himself at it, colliding with Werfel and ultimately neither of them getting the touch they needed.
It floated back across the box, threatening to go out for a throw-in.
But Cullen was in at the right place at the right time, taking it on her chest. A split-second to review the scene - Scherzer mobbed in the box, Connolly drifting into the box, Purrington hustling forwards, Imre out of position, a clear line to goal...
The low, crisp volley whistled low and hard. Imre stretched, but his fingers only pushed it further into the netting.
"Yes! Take it!" Cullen said, almost a little shellshocked by the realisation just as her teammates started to mob her. This was what it felt like at the top. And by God, she'd missed the feeling.

[The Archregimancy]

The sky outside the Imperial Hippodrome turned a particularly lurid shade of hot pink, as a geranium-shaped cloud hovered over a herd of winged three-headed wildebeest frolicking in the gentle bacon-scented breeze.

Down on the field, which was in the process of being mown to world-class standard by a legion of very hungry grass-eating top hat-sporting caterpillars, the Imperial football team management were having a quick planning meeting before the opening World Cup match.

"Flick Colby? Flick Colby as in the brilliant and interdimensionally known choreographer known for her hip and groovy dance stylings for that popular interpretive dance combo Pan's Posse?"

"No, Mr. Tzimisces, sir - Flick Jostle, not Flick Colby."

"Never heard of 'em. What about you, Simeone?"

"Well, I've done some scouting, and I'm fairly confident we can win this one; but I do suggest some novel tactics..."

"Oh yes?"

"A 1-1-8 formation, like so..."

Simeone waved his hands, and the formation appeared in mid-air



"...it'll leave us a little vulnerable to counter-attack at the back, but it should allow us to completely overwhelm this bunch of mundy no-hopers. I predict at least a 78-0 win; anything less than 23-0 will be a crushing disappointment. We have some tough matches ahead, so we really need to pump up our goal difference while we can."

"Simeone, I'm really sorry, but according to the Book of the Kalends, we only win this one 2-1"

"I never understand why you read that book before the match; it can't be much fun knowing the result before it happens."

"Non-linear time, old friend; I've already read the book after the match, and so know the result before the match. It's who I am; it's how I live - you should know this by now. It doesn't impact the fact that I still have free will, just because I already know that this World Cup is going to be won by..."

The sound of thunder; horns sound; the voice of angels announce their celestial mistress.

"... ah, if you'll excuse me, lads, Margaret and I have a date tonight."

"Anywhere special?"

"Not really. I thought we would write our names in 10,000-kilometre high letters of flame in the outer atmosphere of a gas giant in the Atlantian Oceania solar system, collect the diamond rain from the same gas giant, make love in the metallic hydrogen sea surrounding the inner core, and then maybe go out for a couple of beers in Schutzenphalia & West Ruhntuhnkuhnland; just the sort of average night out that any couple might get up to. Don't worry, I'll be back in plenty of time for the match. Just do me a quick favour..."

"Yes?"

"Remember to be nice to Mag's cousin Gerald; I know he's not terribly exciting company, but we're going to have to rely on him in some of the later qualifiers."

[Jeruselem]

Jeruselem's Princess Laura and Jane Sanderson ...

Laura: This is Princess Laura for Naked News Jeruselem. We're at Dazza Dallas Stadium. I've got with me Jane Sanderson, one of the Jeruselem team. Today we took on the might Ko-oren who are expected to do well in Group 16. How are things Jane?
Jane: Yes, great. Oh why aren't you wearing anything?
Laura: It's Naked News, I'm not supposed to wear anything. Well, at home. I have to wear clothes outside the country through.
Jane: I get it.
Laura: The team took on Ko-oren and got a well earned 2-2 draw. I think it's a good start to the world cup
Jane: Yes, they are a very good team. It wasn't easy at all.

Laura: We really had to be at our best today. Given our opponent is most likely to be our biggest threat.
Jane: I think the team stood up well, considering it's our first game. We're always a bit rusty first game.
Laura: Yes, well ... I didn't get any goals today considering they had defenders chasing me around all game.
Jane: I think they know what you're capable of
Laura: Good thing the other forwards were doing better than me
Jane: You'll be back to your best

Laura: For those who don't know, Jane Sanderson is related to the Jane Sanderson from Ariddia who coached Jeruselem
Jane: Yes, but I'm sure I'm not as good as her
Laura: You can't say that, you could be better. You made the team.
Jane: I don't know, I'm still young
Laura: You're a proper Jeruselemite then?
Jane: Ah, yes - never been to Ariddia. Most people wouldn't know I was from Ariddia stock.

Laura: You know, us Dallas girls were Ariddians in origin.
Jane: Yes, Mum told me that. Mind you you're really a complicated genetic mix.
Laura: Yes, I'm more Qazian than Ariddian.
Jane: Doesn't matter where we come from, we all live in Jeruselem.
Laura: Jeru FC boys travelled to Gregoryisgodistan in their first game. I mean that's a pretty rough start to any campaign.
Jane: Yes, considering that Gregoryisgodistan lot are pretty full on.

Laura: The good news is Jeru FC got a 2-2 draw with the home team. I expected them to lose.
Jane: That's pretty good considering where Jeru FC is ranked.
Laura: I have a feeling that Greg god fella isn't going to be very impressed.
Jane: Err, yes. I imagine so.
Laura: I think they got a shock there were no girls in the Jeru FC team either.
Jane: It's no secet Jeru FC have been an all male team for a while, other than the coach at times.

Laura: A good day today, we stood our ground with one of the best teams in Group 16. And Jeru FC annoyed Greg.
Jane: I hope we can keep up the good work.
Laura: I'd better start scoring goals too.
Jane: I guess you won't hear the end of that.
Laura: That's what happens if the coach is your Mum and your grandmother was a coach.
Jane: No pressure Laura.

[Jeru FC]

In Gregoryisgodistan, after Jeru FC drew with Gregoryisgodistan 2-2

Coach: What's the problem?
ROAW: Can we go home now? This Gregoryisgodistan place is a bit scary.
Coach: I don't blame you. I've been around many countries and this place is a bit weird.
ROAW: It doesn't help when they realise we are also army people from Jeruselem
Coach: I think it might have been worse if the team was all female though
ROAW: I guess the reputation of Jeruselem girls precedes all

Coach: Don't worry, we're leaving soon.
ROAW: Girlfriend has an off day today by the sounds of it
Coach: Doesn't matter, Jeruselem still got points against a better opponent
ROAW: Funny we got the same scoreline
Coach: I guess we did well, considering we didn't have many scoring shots anyway
ROAW: The boys sure spent a lot of time just keeping out those ... what do they call themselves

Coach: Foot Slaves or something
ROAW: Funny name
Coach: You seen the player names?
ROAW: No, just saw a bunch of numbers.
Coach: One was named Pervert Chaser 867530PNC.
ROAW: Wow, interesting name.

Coach: Considering you lot are bunch of perverts
ROAW: I sure won't be visiting this place anytime for fun
Coach: The coach is named Horse Beater KFIU9140 ... which I don't understand the symbolism
ROAW: I thought our names were funny
Coach: The assistant coaches is Slave Beater 8AUSUJA and Cheese Police PX010A0ZX
ROAW: I'm sure happy to be Jeruselemite

Coach: I guess you can't complain too much now
ROAW: No, it can be a lot worse I guess
Coach: So no going out today?
ROAW: In most places they'll tolerate us, but we're just scared of the locals
Coach: I don't think I could even help if you got in trouble
ROAW: The crowd round here weren't the most friendly to us visitors

Coach: I guess they see us as the enemy
ROAW: But Jeruselemites don't do that
Coach: Unless you're from certain countries that is.
ROAW: But on the whole, we're not that bad.
Coach: That's because we just want their money, and want to keep them happy
ROAW: I guess so

[Greater Watford]

Greater Watford fell to a relatively uninspiring 1-0 loss to Antoletia, in a game that hardly got the spirits of the national fans going. The team will hope to recover ahead of the rest of the campaign, but there will be time for reflection after the match, and changes will probably be made.

Lining up in yellow, the Hornets kicked off towards the away fans. They very nearly scored in the opening minute of the game, with Garry Oldfen playing a long ball that Ignacio Peréz was able to run on to. However, the striker’s first touch was too heavy, and his angled shot rolled wide of the far post. That would probably be the best opportunity for a while for Greater Watford.

With their feathers ruffled, Antoletia recovered and looked to plug the holes in their defence. Devine and Hopkins were effective in keeping Mannetti and Peréz neutralised, reducing the attacking prowess of Greater Watford. Samuel Harris tried a surprise 25 yard shot, but it flew well wide of the post. At the other end, Clyde Dickens got forward, and his header in the box was parried away well by Kendrick Hannon.

The end of the first half saw few clear cut opportunities for either side, but there were signs of a breakthrough, if someone could find the space. Peter Tilder replace Aaron Smith at half time, the latter having not played too well in the first half.

The breakthrough came in the 56th minute. Sylvestre Rochambeau got down the left wing, and held off Ryan Franks. With space to get the cross in, he found Clyde Dickens, who headed the ball down into space, before shooting. The shot was strong, and Hannon was unable to reach it. 1-0 to the Fire Ants, who now had a vital goal.

Trying to bolster their attack, Samuel Harris dropped into centre midfield, and Oldfen was replaced by Jean-Pierre Mons, making his debut for the Hornets. However, he saw little of the ball to begin with, as Antoletia kept it in the Greater Watford half. A second goal came close in the 65th minute, but Remus Robideau saw his shot blocked by Elmo Dowling.

Greater Watford tried to come forward, but found little success. Several times a poor touch let them down, with Mannetti and Peréz both looking slightly uncomposed. Mons showed some touches of skill and pace, but ultimately could not find the net. As time ticked away, the pace of the game dropped off, as the Fire Ants looked to secure a win away from home.

At full-time, it finished 0-1. Greater Watford were not at their best, and will need to find room to improve. Their next game is away at home to Atrua, a lower ranked nation, but one who won their opening game. Already, it looks like the pressure is beginning to mount, a second loss could doom the campaign before it even gets going. For the Planes, the future looks very bright.

Bovingdon FC

Bovingdon FC were formed in 62BU, under the name Bovingdon United FC. This was to try and have a team represent the city of Bovingdon in the newly established Inter City Cup. However, their initial application was rejected, as the team “lacked notability, they were unproven compared to their peers”, as the ICFF decision making board put it. Nevertheless, they were undeterred, and began participating in friendly tournaments.

In 53BU, with a few teams folding in Bovingdon, such as Daniel’s FC and Bovingdon Port FC, Bovingdon United FC dropped the Bovingdon suffix, and successfully joined the ICFF. This was around the time the national rankings were introduced, ensuring the name Bovingdon FC would be heard.

Bovingdon FC were a very modest side in their early days. Not a founding member of the GWNFA, they played in regional leagues, first the Western League, until switching to the Eastern League in 30BU, after finding no success in the Western League, and feeling critical of its owners. Without being part of the GWNFA, Bovingdon FC were able to do well in the Gold Cup, and were finalists in 33BU and 31BU.

By 25BU, Bovingdon FC were semi-professional, and had 14 professional players and 6 amateurs on their books. They would become inaugural members of the GWNFA Challenge League. They were one of the stronger teams, and hoped one day they’d make it to the GWNFA Super League. However, for all their hope and optimism, they never once won the GWNFA Challenge League. They remained members of the GWNFA Challenge League throughout its history. They were one of the teams lobbying for a merged second tier, and a 16 team Super League, and boycotted the playoffs, when this didn’t happen.

In the repechage tournament to start the GWFA League, Bovingdon FC managed 5th, and secured top tier football for the first time in their history. In Season 2, they secured 3rd place in the League. However, just 1 season later, they collapsed to 15th in the Super League, and relegation to the GWFA Challenge League followed. Bovingdon FC successfully recovered to win the division, and secure a quick return to the Super League.

Since their brief stay in the second tier, Bovingdon FC have now come 3rd, 3rd and then 2nd in the Super League. For the Planes (nickname of Bovingdon FC), the future is looking up.

Kits: Bovingdon FC’s home kit plays homage to their nickname, with a wing style on the sleeves. The away kit is a yellow and green palette swap.

Prospects for Season 8: Bovingdon FC will love to finally be champions, but they just aren’t quite there yet, but they should still make the UICA places.
Prediction: 2nd.

Squad for game vs Atura

Code: Select all

 GK   1   Kendrick Hannon
DEF   2   Jonny Gregor
DEF   3   Elmo Dowling
DEF   4   Steven Shields
DEF   16   Osvaldo Current
MID   6   Tommy Deer
MID   18   Peter Tilder
MID   8   Garry Oldfen
ATT   9   Mario Mannetti
ATT   10   Ignacio Peréz
MID   11   Samuel Harris

Subs:
GK   12   Gordon Watson
DEF   14   Ryan Warthon
DEF   15   Armando Westberg
MID   7   Aaron Smith
ATT   20   Pip Roberto
MID   22   Jan Regan
ATT   29   Jean-Pierre Mons

[Xzyxrouw]

Eupheos-Anatus 1 - 1 Xzyxrouw

Shyx'syhr Rfyskrao'Mhagry pondered for a brief time. Speaking and writing in the Ooghumi'ingrish language was hard enough but she was even now at such an early stage, beginning to regret her decision to provide a Xati insight to the World Cup qualifiers. Ahr had thought it an interesting idea to have xatz writing about xatz and Rfyskrao had shamefully accepted a small jar of some fish paste (well past its use by date) as a downpayment. Licked clean, the empty jar lay on the floor of the hotel room. The light which had teased its way between a gap in closed curtains glinted tortuously off it, a reminder of its ugly emptiness.

Eupheos-Anatus 1 - 1 Xzyxrouw

---

Xzyxrouw score first. Other team score after. Nobody win.

Was that enough? It was what had happened. YqharQhe'syhrg Myrmynx'mrygKrokumoqum'mryrhougru, or simply Myrmynx, took a lay-off from Hroreq, dummied a pass to Iuki and launched herself through a gap in the bewildered defense. The Eupheos-Anatus team had spent the opening minutes trying to keep up with the speed of the Xati play. From the kick-off itself, they weren't quite sure whether to press or hold back when the Xatz began running with the ball, leading their team on a merry goose-chase about the field. However, the gap had been spotted and Myrmynx flew through it as the two centre-backs shared a brief accusatory glance with one another. One-on-one, the keeper hadn't a chance. The ball was slotted into a bottom corner and the home fans began to fear that their team were about to receive a devestating beating.

Eupheos-Anatus 1 - 1 Xzyxrouw

---

Myrmynx score first for Xzyxrouw. This was in four minutes. Other team score after. Nobody win.

Rfyskrao yawned. She didn't really want to write up the rest of the game and not only for reasons of sheer indolence. In truth, the game was there for Xzyxrouw to win and any reasonable team would have managed it. Xatz however, are not reasonable creatures. For a further ten minutes, Eupheos-Anatus teetered on the cusp of conceding again and were it not for some solid defensive efforts, it could've been a whole different story.

Eupheos-Anatus 1 - 1 Xzyxrouw

---

Myrmynx score first for Xzyxrouw. This was in four minutes. Then referee was a cheat for giving red card to Khfufu because of Other team dirty foul. Other team score after later. Nobody win.

It all started with a Xzyxrouw corner. Ruf Gruf coming forward to hoof the ball into a box crawling with Xatz and the home fans expecting the worst when there was a shriek in the penalty area, followed by a hiss and then a further cry of pain. Suddenly the referee found himself surrounded. In his marking of Khfufu, a midfielder had inadvertently stepped upon her tail. Her reaction was to sink her fangs into the offending player's thigh and now both teams were crying out for justice. The medics came to the field to patch up Carter Harrison, who seemed more shocked than anything else and Khfufu received a straight red, not even a quarter of the way into the match. The Xati continued to hound the ref who ended up dishing out two further cards, both yellow, to Zrha and Rhaazu for their dissent before the game could reconvene. The corner was poorly taken, Marshall cleared and Zrha charged in late, bowling over the Eupheos-Anatus defender and earning a second yellow. Not yet twenty minutes in and already down to nine players.

Eupheos-Anatus 1 - 1 Xzyxrouw

---

Myrmynx score first for Xzyxrouw. This was in four minutes. Then referee was a cheat for giving red card to Khfufu because of Other team dirty foul. Zrha also have to leave pitch for two offenses against referee and Other team defender. New tactic was tried to make time go faster and not give Other team ability to score. This not work. Other team score later. Nobody win.

'By Mao's whiskers, writing is hard.' Rfyskrao realised she'd only really covered the first tiny portion of the match. Now she had to find words to describe the truly dull spectacle of the remainder of the match. Ahr had shouted from the sidelines something about holding possession and wasting-time (Maoeq had been fast asleep since before the kick-off). A brave strategem so early in a match but something that the Xatz were pretty good at. Long periods were spent meaninglessly dribbling the ball about the pitch with little interest in attempting to score. Despite a two-man advantage, Eupheos-Anatus were having trouble closing down and dispossessing the Xati team. Many times when they did actually make a tackle, the recipient would perform an elaborate roll, land in a heap and painfully mew until the referee brought the game to a halt. It was obvious that the Eupheos-Anatus team were growing increasingly irritated by this and many of their tackle were beginning to take a vindictive edge. Badinghaus, Reed and Bennet all receiving particularly spurious yellows when they probably shouldn't have.
By the time the first half was over, many fans had left, not wishing to view such a despicable and farcical spectacle. Those that remained were booing the Xatz, who for some reason seemed to revel in it.

Eupheos-Anatus 1 - 1 Xzyxrouw

---

Myrmynx score first for Xzyxrouw. This was in four minutes. Then referee was a cheat for giving red card to Khfufu because of Other team dirty foul. Zrha also have to leave pitch for two offenses against referee and Other team defender. New tactic was tried to make time go faster and not give Other team ability to score. This not work. Other team score later but Xzyxrouw winning at half-time. Nobody win at full-time because penalty which was not penalty was given to Other team who score it. The end.

The second half began much how the first had ended although Eupheos-Anatus were certainly cleverer in their choice of tackles and once Myrmynx received a yellow for simulation, the Xatz were forced to adopt a change of tack. That is, just as much time-wasting and possession-hogging but fewer dives. It was Ruf Gruf who gave away the penalty, a clumsy challenge which the Xatz contested was outside of the area despite being about 2 feet inside it. Just before the seventy minute mark, Leo Martolo put his team back into the game with a well-placed shot to the bottom left.

Rfyskrao re-read her work. She thought it was good enough. Her eyes fell once again upon the empty jar on the floor. Beneath it was a sheet of paper with some ooghumi'ingrish words written upon it. The word 'menu' made no sense to her but 'salmon' and 'pigeon' did. In the mad scamble to ascertain whereabout salmon and pigeon could be obtained, she failed to realise that in clambering across the laptop keyboard, she had inadvertantly and irrevocably deleted her last hour's work.

Not that she gave the slightest fuck once she'd found the number for room service.

[Apox]

Jon Quillisi's Sports Column

Gavin Hughes wasn't messing about in that game, putting out a full strength first team against 113th ranked Sakhalin, determined to ensure that we made a statement that - unlike in previous campaign, Apox isn't messing around.

In true, we could have, and should have had two or three. Adnan Zozula had a top game, especially in the later stages, peppering the goal with shots in the last ten minute, being unlucky to get himself on the scoresheet, with Zana Ibrox also looking threatening later on, a shot of hers pinging off the post in the 83rd minute.

However, it was Tregajorran who was the goalscorer, his 48th in an Apoxian shirt, the veteran striker receiving a through ball from Kaj Aurora, jinking past a Sakhalin defender and gliding a shot past the Sakhalin keeper, making the entire endeavour look blindingly easy. He's really closing in on Dravid Scott's record now, and while he's trying to play down the entire thing and focus on his game - whenever he plays its apparent that we're watching a very special player indeed, one of the all time greats.

Hughes, far from battering down the hatches after the goal, went on the offensive - bringing on Corinna McKenna for Armando Quillisi in the 50th minute with the team moving to a 4-3-3 formation - hunting hungrily for more goals - a shock for us as fans, having spent years watching a more conservative side, a side less aggressive - but this was incredibly satisfying for us to see as fans.

We've got a good win under our belt, and we need to have a good win against Red Blackiland - in fact, in order to boost our chances of qualification, we need to ensure we win all the next three games in order to go into our pivotal game away at Valladares in the best form possible - hat-trick from Tregajorran to break the goalscoring record for the national team next game?

Team Sheet from the Match (scorers in bold)
GK - Ettie Seabrooke
RD - Jack Lerryn
CD - Solomon Etezadi (c)
CD - Olim Shahzad
LD - Ben Hatem
RM - Alice Monteforth sub Luxulya St. Cleer 76'
CM - Armando Quillisi sub Corinna McKenna 50'
CM - Zana Ibrox
LM - Kaj Aurora
ST - Tolgus Tregajorran
ST - Adnan Zozula sub Maximillion the Codger 87'

[Buyan]

Miro looked out across the hills which encircled the house of his friend Stjepan. Small lines of smoke escaped from his mouth as he was pissing on the daffodils Stjepans soon-to-be wife had planted alongside the wall. Using his free hand to put his smoke back in his mouth, he embraced the silent countryside. It was a secret vice, one that didn’t suit a professional football player of his calibre, but one that allowed him to put things back in their perspective. For half a second, Miro Stepaniak had almost managed to forget that he was the number ten of Garbarnia Hoyersko and one of the most promising players from the nation.

Lingering fog had set itself on the nearby hills. As the game in the Estadio Nacional had only kicked off during the quiet hours of the night, even the highway in the distance had finally found peace with himself. And so did Miro as he stamped out the cigarette, leaving a few orange particles to die out.

“Fuck, man, Stjepan and his cheap beer, it makes me piss like a horse,” Kuros joined him, giving them poor daffodils their finishing stroke. They chuckled like fifteen-year olds for a second - as they probably had made the same remark back at those days. But whilst Miro stayed away from the booze today, his former partner in crime had slowly lost touch with the youth team in which they had featured. By now, they had learned to stop asking Kuros if he had found a job already or where he had found something to eat.
“Stjepan has got to save on something, if you look at this castle,” Miro grinned.

Staring together into the darkness, the silence only halted by splashing sounds, they allowed to let those words come to them. The poor lad was working his back off for some sort of consultancy company and had almost dozed off a few times. Admittedly, this might be caused by the lack of spectacle put on the pitch by the Figs and the Hedgehogs. The pace was low, the wings created little to nothing and Sverre Devold hardly found an open teammate. As a consequence, only a few inspired moves from Werdickley, that crafty fellow, brought the commentators out of their lethargy. Saldlund nor Cléston had mud on their gloves, for sure.

“You should’ve been up there,” Kuros muttered without looking at his buddy.

Miro didn’t feel like answering. Of course he had been named amongst the group, but in hindsight it rather felt as if the poisoned apple had been thrown to him. ‘It’s a gift and an encouragement,’ Shale had mentioned. It rather felt like a ton of cement around his feet. Miro pitied those footballers who never got to the knowledge that at a certain point, words like ‘gifted’ and ‘talented’ got a negative vibe. Especially as they will go in sentences like ‘a waste of talent’. And as of today, he was well aware that this season would be the one where he would have to lift up his feet and climb over that gigantic threshold. Whilst the cement was drying.

With that in mind, he had once opted to fend off foreign offers and stay with Garbarnia. It should have given him all the time necessary to learn the ropes away from the headlines - ‘you’re playing as boring as Hoyersko’ was a semi-proverb and often-used insult in the lower divisions for a reason. But then things had started to fall like domino blocks, one after another. It all started with Zooey. A big mouth and a remarkable free kick, she managed to make the whole dressing room walk in line. Well, until she turned into a smouldering lump of camembert, that is, leaving the number ten spot wide open. And to add insult to injury, he got selected for the Hedgehogs.

Don’t get it wrong, Miro would be honoured to wear the shirt one day. But that’s the point, one day. As Devold and Kluszak were still a few leagues above him, this was more or less some sort of ceremonial tap on the shoulder. Good for press mosquitos to print out a large label of ‘talent who shouldn’t fail’ and stick it on your back. Splendid.

“Meh...” Kuros continued, both glances still in the distance, “one day.”

For a hobo with a drinking problem, he knew his world.

“He’ll probably throw in Rettinger, they should just steamroll those Matthewsia... Matthewisi... Figs,” Stjepan joined the conversation.

Several nods of agreement. Without words, Stjepan offered another round of smokes which formed three fireflies in a cold and horrendously beautiful night. The sharp smell of the under-the-counter cigarettes told Miro that the dark side of football glory - being lived twenty-four hours a day - would be something to come.

But not today. Today, he could still enjoy secret vices with his friends, watch games like a regular fan instead of an involved party and grin in comradery over a women’s voice complaining about her drowned daffodils.

---

Knut Dahle disliked running late. Not out of a feeling of superiority over his fellow man, but because he felt it was rather impolite to the one he had failed to meet in time. Especially as those people were his parents. ‘I’ve got so much to thank from them’ had unfortunately for Knut become a too cliché sentence on press moments or he would use it more often. And maybe also a bit because his teammates already considered him too much of an ideal son-in-law. One couldn’t count the amount of time his mother had spent in her car in between driving her youngest back and forth to the Fortress, the training facilities of Jottnar Kallsmudden. Not to talk about the efforts of his dad, who refused to miss a game, even abroad and who always managed to find the right tone. Not too jubilant, never too harsh.

As such, Knut nervously tapped along on his gear stick to the latest dance hit whilst the red light took its time to make way. Eventually, he could shift into second and ride into the calm neighbourhood road where a joyful plate indicated that number 23 belong to the Dahle family. As usual, there were no spots available and he had to find a parking spot at the nearest supermarket.

It was another thing which Knut would have preferred otherwise and sometimes his dad ensured there would be a free spot on the driveway. The walk to his parents’ home was enjoyable and more than often he could gave a chat with an old acquaintance but today, Knut felt a bit embarrassed about his car. In an impulse, he had bought himself the newest Ulcan Xtra and regretted the choice the very next day. It was large, impractical and most annoyingly, it made him look like a show-off.

As such, Knut tried to take his jacket out of the car and walk away as swift as possible. Fortunately for him, the streets were barren as if a nuclear war had struck the area. Only tumbleweed had made the usually so cosy borough more deserted. With a quick pace, Knut walked from streetlight to streetlight, whistling a tune. Damn catchy dance hit.

“Hi there.”

As she was standing in between two lights, so close to the shrubbery that you’ld almost think she had jumped out half a second ago, Knut had to squeeze his eyes to recognize her. So far, he couldn’t make a match, her dark scarf obstructing the sight.

“Ehm... Hi to you too.”
“You still know my name, do you?”

She had a strange capacity in her voice, speaking both soft and sharp at once. The wind probably struggled to bring her words more than a few yards out but it cut through the skin of Knut like a knife.

“It’s... You look familiar,” he obviously lied.
“I should have known,” she smirked, looking around her constantly as if shadows would jump here if she didn’t, “you bastard.”
“Did we... Did we meet before,” Knut tried to dig and spade through his memory.

With a haughty sniffle, she rose her head. That sharp jaw, those elegant cheekbones... It did ring a bell to the Jottnar striker but it was a far-off one and the local Quasimodo was tired.

“We more than met, I’ld say,” she eventually spoke. In her seven words seemed to lie a complete story, one that Knut failed to read.
“Oh... Sorry, I’m trying to recall and-“
“I didn’t thought you were one of those. Although. You never called, never came back at me. I guess that’s not something Mr. Nice Guy does. Nice on national television, to say so.”

Knut still filled a bit dazed. Was he being mugged here? Were there cameras? What was going on?

“Of course we met,” she continued, “and apparently one night was enough.”

As she stroked her belly, some puzzle pieces fell out of the air.

“But... What?”
“I’m going to keep it. And you’ll have to do your part. Or they’ll read it in the morning papers.”

She shook her head towards his parental house and in the same gesture crossed the street to disappear in the darkness. The woman with the scarf didn’t even need to hear his hesitating ‘yes’ to know the answer.

Knut did the last few meters and still was shaking his head when he knocked on the door.

“Finally, you’re there,” his father completely missed his confusion, “your mother was already worried sick. With that big car, well, you know here, matey. Either way, you didn’t miss a bit. They’re not making a dent into the defence of Matthewisania so far, I’m afraid. Pretty good team for a bunch of rookies...”

But those words were lost on Knut, who still was trying to put the puzzle pieces into the right place.

---

XI to play in the Murin Esten Sportsplex

GK - 12. Erbald Saldlund (28, Bengtsmark IF, 8 appearances)
LD - 2. Kazimieras Zemaitis (28, Race Point, 115 appearances)
CD - 3. Sigurd Tufte (29, Bengtsmark IF, 112 appearances)
CD - 4. Rafal Giertych (26, Jottnar Kallsmudden, 46 appearances)
RD - 5. Ignas Smetona (33, Liberty Rodriguez, 49 appearances)
DM - 16. Jurgis Venclova (25, Jottnar Kallsmudde, first appearance)
LM - 13. Vridrich Lammerschon (27, Tjelberg Forening, 34 appearances)
RM - 8. Espen Knutsen (29, Crisisbless, 50 appearances)
AM - 10. Sverre Devold (29, Barbury Town, 114 appearances)
LA - 22. Andrey Rettinger (32, Goodfeather FC, 42 appearances)
RA - 9. Duco Dalmshelf (26, Blau-Weiss Pallstadt, 69 appearances)

Bench: Erhardt, Ralaanen, Dziuba, Grobanov, Justs, Wladecki, Prinsen, Castell, Kluszak, Balnerii, Moen, Pajari

The view of the observer, journalist Kjetil Norden with his eye on the Hedgehogs

Matthewisania nor Estenia were expected in advance to battle for the play-off spots, but considering the trouble our Hedgehogs had against the Figs, I’m quite sure that Shale isn’t too keen upon the trip to Estenia. After all, it is a team that is building their strength brick by brick and their previous game against the Windsor Islands wasn’t too bad. In all fairness, I wasn’t impressed by their first half when they struggled to make a dent in the defensive line of their opponents and even had to count on Lazrovich at times. But after the break, they demonstrated that Eenpalu has gotten his team in shape already and could switch it into higher gear. No wonder that the goal came from the most familiar face amongst the troops in navy, Andriy Nikolaev was a rather surprising addition to the Bengtsmark squad when he landed in Buyan a good two years ago, but the eye for talent from Derrik Markushovn hadn’t mislead him.

But that’s not the only weapon of the Estenians and in that view, Shale made a few remarkable changes in the line-up. The distance shooting from the home squad is almost proverbial and leaving Wladecki on the sideline could turn out to be a gaffe in that case. Debuting player Venclova is much more of a deep lying playmaker than a pure defensive midfield. Against someone with the skillset of a Yuri Makrov, that could turn out for the worse. Our Nepharim manager tried to balance this with the replacement of Prinsen by Lammerschon, a more sturdy box-to-box instead of a couple of quick feet. Admittedly, the Pajukas winger was below par against Matthewisania but shouldn’t a duel against a youngster such as Nazarenkov open perspectives? It demonstrates that Shale is betting on two horses at once, a better supply to our strikers without sacrificing the balance. But can he have his cake and eat it? We’re curious. Either way, he’ll try to make danger against what might be the vital weakness of the Estenians, a backline where three juniors have to rely on the vision of Raksimovich. Starting with Dalmshelf and Rettinger, who saved Buyan with a scrimmage goal in the opening match, should provide the amount of war in the box to bring Buyan three points. But we’ld be surprised if Saldlunds net makes it to the last whistle unsoiled.

[Walkany]

Starting Lineup
GK:Jurgen Coeman *Assistant Captain
LB:Luke Poloski
CB:Fil Gones
CB:Oliver Gourde *Assistant Captain
RB:Pep Pep Guardiola
CDM:Lucas Shawn
CM:Clint Daniels *Assistant Captain
CM:Xander Xavi
LW:Eddy Haphazard *Captain
CF:Slatan Irkovic
RW:Daniel Well-Bit

Subs
GK:Daniel De Hayu
CB:Mark de Man
CB:Fil Nevis
CDM:David Lucius
CM:Angel Dí Murcia
LW:Chris Rolonda *Acrimio-clavicular Sprain:Match fit, but injury still tender
ST:Leones Cleen

Wandelaar Stadio Press Conference Room post match day one...

O'nielle:We played a good game. It was a tough game though. I believe we should have won because we simply had better, but not more, chances to score. When Irkovic scored our goal very early on from Haphazard's corner so easily, I thought we would be able to score more. Well-Bit created a couple of good chances in the first half, Xavi and Daniels created a few more really good chances in the second half. I wish we could have finished on those chances. It was even a home game so you think with all of the fan support that we could have won. It was unfortunate when they scored their first goal. It was just an unlucky deflection. The second goal was really very good. They set the play up well. Each player knew where the other was on the pitch so scoring the goal for them was easy. After that we just couldn't seem to muster up good chances.

Press:Will the first ever World Cup Qualifier being a loss for The Gators be hard to outlive?

O'nielle:No, it was just a difficult game. The players understand that. The staff understands that. We still have plenty of time to qualify and plenty of World Cups in the future. I can guarantee the Walkany fans that we will fight hard for qualification. We are still a young nation so don't expect us to defeat seasoned teams easily, but expect us to give them a hard time. We will show them that we are not just another place holder.

Press:How is Chris Rolonda recovering?

O'nielle:He is doing very well. We're expecting him to be ready by the next game or the one after. We'll give him a chance in our charity match against Wandelaar University to see how he is feeling. If his injury is better and his play is good, you can expect to see him starting for us soon.

Press:Did your over confidence in the Coup de Zlatan carry over to this match?

O'nielle:Over confidence? What do you mean? We fully expected to win. It was a tough game against the winners, Bloody Bluff, that got us. We always respect our opponents. I don't think any of the staff or players are over confident. If they are, I would know. At the same time, none of them are unconfident. They all know they're capable. They know they can qualify for the World Cup, so put it out of your mind that my players are not mentally prepared.

Press:How do you feel going into your next game against Castigonia?

O'nielle:They are a seasoned team, but have many young players. This isn't their first rodeo so I think it will be a difficult game though it will be winnable, just like every other game. We will have to keep an eye on Garrit Hewes. I've been watching video of him at the Baptism of Fire thirty-nine. He was very good then and I'm sure he will be very good now.

Press:How soon can we expect Alex Sorrel to be back at a hundred percent?

O'nielle:We think Sorrel will be back for the second half of qualifiers. He had a pretty bad injury, but he's a tough kid. He'll come back just as good as he was before, maybe even better. The physio has been watching over him so if there are any changes, we'll know.

Most Likely Starting Lineup vs Castigonia
GK:Jurgen Coeman
LB:Michael Haywood
CB:Oliver Gourde
CB:Mark de Man
RB:Ray Haywood
CDM:David Lucius
CM:Clint Daniels
CM:Xander Xavi
LW:Eddy Haphazard
CF:Slatan Irkovic
RW:Daniel Well-Bit

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Gregoryisgodistan 2–2 Jeru FC

"Hello, and welcome to Lord Almighty Gregory National Stadium for today's game between Jeru FC, which is apparently a national team and not a club team, and Gregoryisgodistan. We're all set to kick off this World Cup Qualifying, it's the first game of the cycle, and it's sure to be a lot of fun. The Jeru players have very funny names, and this is coming from a team whose coach is named Horse Beater KFIU9140. Their coach is named Israel Goldstein, one of the few normal names they have. And we're just about ready to get underway. L3g3nd@ry L0v3r kicks it to Walkin Onair, and we're underway here in Gregoryisgodistan.

...

"11th minute, L0v3r passes it into the box to Onair, he shoots, oh, and it's off the crossbar. Here comes Ittakes too, he shoots, diving save by Prune Farmer 3818F. What a save by Prune Farmer 3818F diving to his right and he keeps this game scoreless at 0. The fans are chanting his name and taking celebratory swigs of prune juice. It was a glorious save, just a beautiful save, and it keeps the soldiers of Jeru FC off the board. No, they are not pretty pretty princesses as Horse Beater KFIU9140 claimed, but at least they're fully clothed. Naked News is here in the press box with us, but they are failing to live up to their name and are fully clothed. Apparently they will be naked for the return leg, but for now, they are fully clothed. What a relief it is, which reminds us, this game is sponsored by gruel-flavored diarrhea relief pills - when you have to poop too much, take these pills and you won't poop so much. Yay Gruel-Flavored Diarrhea Relief Pills!

...

"24th minute, Spiritule passes it to Onair, he fins L0v3r, who shoots, and it's in the back of the net. Jeru FC has opened up the scoring here in the 24th minute with a goal by L3g3nd@ry L0v3r. The fans are booing, they think he was offsides, but no call is forthcoming. Looking at a replay, it's awfully close. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. I'm not going to make any judgment, but maybe that ref is an oaf. Maybe we should be chanting "DEATH TO THE REFS!" And indeed the fans are chanting that, but the call will stand. Goal for Jeru FC and it's 1-0 them.

...

"39th minute, Pervert Chaser 867530PNC finds Guy Who Cleans Up Behind The Elephant at the Circus P0120AZNNAU. He lofts it into the box for Slave Beater 20LXAU21 , making his first cap, who heads it into the net. Oh, but the flag was up. The flag was up and offsides is called. Slave Beater 20LXAU21 is yelling at the ref and now out comes the yellow card for unsportsmanlike conduct. We have our first yellow of the contest, and the Foot Slaves' first yellow of qualifying, as well as Slave Beater 20LXAU21 's first career card.

"And that's halftime. Jeru FC leads 1-0. We'll be back for the second half after these messages and the halftime report.

...

"51st minute, Bida Grace OfGod gives it away in midfield, it's taken away by Hacker Fred'); DROP TABLE Rosters;--. He passes it up to Soccer Captain Laredo Potato, who's making a brilliant run into the box. He only has the keeper to beat AND IT'S A GOAL! THE FOOT SLAVES HAVE LEVELED IT UP! WHAT A GOAL! THE FANS ARE GOING ABSOLUTELY NUTS! Some Jeru players appeal for offsides but don't get it. It's a goal and the score is tied 1-1.

...

"65th minute, Government Advisor Lordborn Godsam kicks it all the way downfield to clear it. It goes all the way to Duck Hoss, who tries to kick it away. Oh, but he kicks it right into Prune Farmer 913881's back and it's rolling back towards the goal. Hoss chases after it, here comes Slave Beater 20LXAU21 and it's a race to the ball. Slave Beater 20LXAU21 shoots, GOAL FOOT SLAVES! WHAT A BIZARRE PLAY, BUT GREGORYISGODISTAN SCORES! THEY TAKE THE LEAD 2-1!

...

"78th minute, Howedo, up to Too, he crosses it to Onair, who heads it just wide. Still 2-1 Foot Slaves.

...

"And the fourth official is signaling for four minutes of stoppage. Still 2-1 Foot Slaves but Jeru has a corner. Here it comes, OH NO, Intanational Smile heads it into the net, it's a goal, and we are level at two. Heartbreak city for the Foot Slaves as Jeru FC levels it up in stoppage.

...

"And there's the final whistle, this one's over. We play Jeru to a 2-2 draw at home, which has to be disappointing. Next up is a trip to Nurkama, which should be an easy win. It had better be, if the Foot Slaves want to qualify for Felix and Yttribia. They need to win that game easily. And they will, I'm sure of it. Let's go Foot Slaves!"

[Abanhfleft]

CRESCENT NEWS NETWORK
SPORTS CHANNEL - OFFICIAL WEBSITE

ABANHFLEFT CRUSHED BY CUP OF HARMONY HOLDERS TURORI 5-0 IN FIRST WORLD CUP QUALIFYING MATCH
By Arnold Isaacs


Inamari Altariiz of Turori celebrates after scoring a hattrick against Abanhfleft in their first game in World Cup qualifying. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network/Marius Zjebniak)

TURORI - The 7000 Fleftic football fans that braved the journey to Turori to watch their national football team play their first qualifying match in their second World Cup cycle were treated to an absolutely appalling spectacle in which the Revolutionaries of the Democratic Republic were trashed by the Eels, current holders of the Cup of Harmony, by an absurd scoreline of 5-0. It is by far the largest loss that the national team has experienced, beating the Revolutionaries' defeat at the hands of Eastfield Lodge in their first ever World Cup qualifier by a goal.

Abanhfleft's downward slide began in the 8th minute, when Turori forward Inamari Altariiz scored a header from a corner that left Maksim Varamoninov reaching for thin air. Nine minutes later, Altariiz doubled his country's lead after slotting the ball into the lower left corner following a long pass from Tarek Edgeli. And when Inlite Makakio tripled Turori's advantage in the 30th minute, it seemed that Abanhfleft had decided to give up the ghost. This was a very far cry from the Abanhfleft-Eastfield Lodge match, in which the national team tried their best to get themselves back in the game, but in the end only a very lucky Addie Singh goal from an acute angle in the last few minutes of the first half.

Etamara Kulkkiia sunk the dagger deeper by scoring the fourth goal in the 50th minute from a defensive mistake on Nestor Mikkelsen's side, although some sources connected with the national team have later claimed that the mistake was actually intentional. Altariiz finally got the hattrick in the 71st minute, and Varamoninov looked like he didn't even bother with trying to save the goal. Once the final whistle had been blown, the Fleftic team was heartily booed by the away fans, and some ultras even set fire to Fleftic flags with their flares. The stadium had to be quickly cleared out before the burning flags sparked a much bigger fire.

Abanhfleft giving up before end of first half "beyond suicidal"


Hooligans face off against riot control officers in Releinthi, Abanhfleft following the Revolutionaries' 5-0 loss at the hands of Turori. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network/Harman Robles)

Football pundits have put their two cents into the shock loss of the country against Turori, with most of them agreeing that the Revolutionaries giving up way before the first half had even ended was beyond suicidal, if Abanhfleft wanted any chance of progressing to the World Cup finals. According to Paulus Arikomambo Mensah, "If Abanhfleft wants to progress further into the World Cup, then they shouldn't be giving up before the final whistle has been blown." Mensah cited the recent Arsenal de Releinthi-Ludogorets Markovsky match in the Monsanto Stadium as an example of what the national team should be doing.

"Arsenal was down 3-0 before the end of the first half, just like the game against Turori," Mensah said. "But did they give up? No, instead they fought hard to regain the ground they lost, and scored two goals in quick succession. Sure, they still lost, but at least they did not give up. They did not give up. That in the end is what is actually important in this game, because it's never over until it's actually over."

Abanhfleft to host Isula ge Ru in May 26 Stadium


May 26 Stadium, shown here hosting the Riuwiee United-Sporting Ceneisis match of February 15, will play host to Isula ge Ru when Abanhfleft faces them in matchday 2 of the World Cup qualifiers. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network/Carl Robert Hodgkins)

Abanhfleft's second opponent will be Isula ge Ru. Fleftic footie fans will be familiar with this team, which knocked us out of the Baptism of Fire and later went on to secure the trophy. Many fans will be eager to see the Revolutionaries defeat the Isulans, both in revenge of the BoF loss, and to recover some morale following the crushing defeat at Turori. "It will be a tough game, that I can assure you," national team manager Kasper Molak said. "But this time, we'll damn make sure that we fight back. That was a startling slump in form that we suffered earlier, but we'll make sure that we won't do it again."

                         TURORI 5 - 0 ABANHFLEFT
INAMARI ALTARIIZ (8', 17', 71')
           INLITE MAKAKIO (30')
         ETAMARA KULKKIIA (50')