AOCAF Cup 42 - RP/Rosters/Scores thread

[Starblaydia]

OOC: The premise of this RP is, simply, what if Chris Kamara was a Rejistanian? If you're asking 'Rejistanian?' kids, ask your parents.

Group G
Starblaydia 0–0 The Inevitable Syndicate
Perlasilangan 0–1 Lymryk Isles

  Group G                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Starblaydia                   2   1  1  0    1   0  +1    4
  The Inevitable Syndicate      2   1  1  0    1   0  +1    4
3 Lymryk Isles                  2   1  0  1    1   1   0    3
4 Perlasilangan                 2   0  0  2    0   2  −2    0

"Well that's a boring group so far," photogenic SCB:Sports host Trey Parker said, "who brought all the va'karela to Group G?"

"Is not boring football," Kansu yelled, "is beautiful not-conceding, not-losing play!"

"Come on, Kanny, that was the very definition of a 'bore draw' against the Inevitable Syndicate."

Kansu Corona was often wound up like this on SCB:Sports. A Starblaydi of Rejistanian descent, the Orange-Blues culture of defensive play was so ingrained in him, a former centre-back, that compared to the other vaguely-cult journeymen on the commentary and analysis teams he was a model of boring, defensive play. All you had to do, generally, was complain about a team not going forward enough or, on a bad day, mention the less-than-exciting prospect of a team lining up with a 4-5-1, and Kanny would launch into one of his famous rants about defending. You could find video clips of this all over the internet. In TV sports journalism terms it made Kansu - known as Kanny - a minor celebrity who you either loved, or hated. Or a little bit of both.

"But Zambrano has been a god amongst men," Kansu said by way of reply, "his touch, his technique, his vision, his tackling, has all been brilliant and the Starblaydi and Syndicate defences have taken their cues from his amazing examples. Unbelievable, Trey!"

"Even for his yellow card?"

"...er, his what?"

"The yellow card, Kanny," Trey replied, "for his tackle on, um, Pratt I think it was, late in the first half. Clear-cut goalscoring opportunity, that should have been a straight red."

"He got a yellow card?"

"Yes, Kanny, we were talking about it at the time."

"For a tackle? Bad tackle?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Didn't see that." Kansu said, to the chuckles of the other guests in the studio around him.

"There was practically a fight when the ref didn't produce a red card," Trey insisted with that twinkle in his eye, "a dozen or so players pushing and shoving."

"Oh!" Kanny said, remembering, "I saw that! I thought it was Half Time."

"Can someone get me a commentator who actually watched this game?"

[Blouman Empire]

THE EMPIRE TIMES

Sir Nathan Kolson Retires

Today, Sir Nathan Kolson announced his retirement as manager of the Blouman Empire International Team in an emotional farewell surrounded by his players. Sir Nathan has been coaching the Eagles since being appointed to the role for the World Cup 63 qualifiers and has taken the team from strength to strength being the first manager to take the team through to the World Cup and continued that feat the following two World Cups. While the team have failed to move past the group stage Sir Nathan is without a doubt the most successful manager of the team adding on to his domestic achievements with a total of 43 titles both as a player and manager.

Sir Nathan started his career at Jollipville Athletic when he was signed up as a 13 year old and spent his formative years in development. It was while in this youth team that he won his first title the U15 Imperial Cup and it was Sir Nathan's header in the final minute that put Truingren in front to win the game, it would be the first of many. Jollipville promoted Sir Nathan up to the senior squad at the age of 18 but he was quickly loaned out to 2nd tier side Frolsen United, in his 21 appearances with the team he scored a total of 11 goals and helped them to win promotion despite his desire to stay with Frolsen Jollipville refused to extend the loan and instead put him on their first team where he played a total 6 games. His second season with the club allowed him to shine where he started in almost every game and in the midfield helped direct Jollipville Athletic to win the Truingren Super League, he helped the team win the title a further two seasons running. A number of other teams took notice wanting the then 23 year old and he was sold off to Saint Edmunds quickly became the fan favourite, his ability to control a game bought much success to the club in the 5 years there he scored a total of 73 goals and won the Holchmain First League twice, the HAF cup three times and FFB Cup once. As he contract came to an end he was keen to move to a larger club and was picked up by his Jollipville Athletics crosstown rivals Jollipville United. This caused great resentment amongst a number of former teammates and fans with one former teammate stating "The man is nothing but a tart forgetting his loyalties and those that made him who he is today all for the sake of a bigger salary". His first game against his former club saw a number of items thrown at him from the stand and was involved in a brief scuffle with James Drinkl whom he had played alongside while in the Jollipville Athletic youth team. Despite the apparent slight made to his former club Sir Nathan bought to his new club what he was famous for winning the Truingren Super League title twice running along with a his first Blouman Champions League title. After three years with the club he moved to Northport despite his age of 32 he continued to be a heavy presence in every game he played. His 3 years at Northport saw a further Blouman Champions League, a North Braxon A league title and a NBAF Cup added to his list of accolades. His five year contract was cut short after three when his left hamstring ruptured effectively ending his playing career. Throughout his playing career he represented Truingren for 120 games and scored a total of 32 goals, he was also appointed as Captain for four years. Throughout this time he won the Imperial Cup a total of 5 times a record no other player has managed before or since. After his retirement as a player Sir Nathan was made an Officer of the Order of the Pine for his contribution to sport and culture that exhibited throughout his playing career.

Sir Nathan only stayed away from the game for 5 years returning this time as a manager for Maidstone Town in the Truingren National League he managed to get the club promoted to the Super League after two seasons but was dismissed during his third as the team floundered in the lower third of the table. He secured a position as manager for Lincoln Upon Isar also in the Super League with this club he had more luck making them a top four side and winning the TFA Cup. After his 3 year contract expired he made a move to the club he began with, Jollipville Athletic whom he stayed with for 8 years in this time as manager he won the Truingren Super League 5 times, the TFA Cup 3 times and the FFB twice. During this time he was made a Commander of the Most Honourable Order of the Blouman Empire for his contribution to sport. He moved onto Braxon City for a reportedly K15million a year plus bonuses and he didn't waste any time with his new club winning the treble in his first season with the Braxon Premier League, BFA Cup and Royal Telecom Cup. Over the next 9 years Sir Nathan would bring in a further 3 Braxon Premier League titles, 3 Blouman Championship Cups a BFA Cup and a FFB Cup winning a total of 12 pieces of silverware over a total of 10 seasons. At the age of 64 Sir Nathan announced his retirement from football after which he was placed in the FFB Hall of Fame and elevated his status to a living legend, Prince Luke II of Braxon dubbed him a Knight Commander of the Illustrious Order of Saint David and both Braxon City and Jollipville Athletic unveiled statues at their grounds in honour of him.

He had only spent a year in retirement before he was approached to take control of the International Team guiding them through the 63rd World Cup qualifiers and to the Cup of Harmony, the following tournament he managed the team to qualify for World Cup 64 and the following two tournaments despite the lack of progression past the group stage Sir Nathan and his team have been praised back at home for their achievements. Sir Nathan's farewell speech touched deeply on his time as manager of the Eagles and thanked the support of the players for everything they have done for him for "without them and their hard work we would not be where we are today" Sir Nathan also thanked his wife of 48 years for the "dedicated support and love shown to me". Sir Nathan began to tear up as he spoke about his retirement and while he wished he could stay on with the team to continue the fight for a World Cup title "age had slowed him down and had reduced his capacity to continue". The FFB expressed the well wishes to Sir Nathan with FFB Chairman Baron George Kelten "We wish Sir Nathan the very best in retirement and we thank him for his tireless efforts he is true footballing legend and he will never be forgotten". Captain Baden Lakes also praised his manager saying it was an "honour to work with one of the greats" and that they "would not be as successful without Sir Nathan at the helm" with tears streaming down his face he embraced his manager wishing him the best of luck.

Who will take over the role as manager will not be determined but it is understood that Sir Nathan will have a big say in who will replace him. Sir Nathan only has one match as manager and will be facing Osarius and while the Eagles have never beaten them before there is no doubt that his players will be wanting to send him off in style and will be battling for the win.

[Hutt River]

Not too long ago the Gehenhöhle area had its very own, rare butterfly called, the Large Argus (also known as the Großebrauneschmetterling). It was browny orange and had big fierce 'eyes' tattooed on its wings. It used to thrive on the boglands of the area, but when the railways came, around 150 years ago, it became extinct in the area, only surviving in the untouched lowlands in Rindstadt. Until, that is, a few years ago when there was a move to re-build its habitat and bring this unique butterfly home

It’s early spring and I’m stood on some newly mudded tracks watching Gehenhöhle's land bleed to death. Almost as far as the eye can see there’s an expanse of sterile black soil without so much as a blade of grass peeping through. At the edge, deep ditches have been dug with pipes stuck in the sides to drain the water. In the foreground a confused rabbit has taken a wrong turn and scampers across the drying, almost dead soil before twitching his nose in disgust and hopping quickly off onto the wild grass beyond its borders.

At the far end of the site a large digger is secretly loading the soil onto a huge tipper truck. This land, which has taken thousands of years to mature, will end up on garden centre shelves as products like grow bags for tomatoes, lasting for a few months in people’s greenhouses before getting chucked away. Welcome to Vardley Moss, right on the edge of Gehenhöhle's boundary with Rindstadt. It’s the world of MWB Holdings (formerly known as Peel Holdings), the exploitation of peat and the lost battle of the Gehenhöhle Butterfly.

Raised bogs. They exist in the middle of damp nowhere, and are formed over the ages from waterlogged mosses which expand like a wet sponge and rise above ground level. On the top are some very special plants and bugs which attract rare birds and butterflies. Underneath the surface are deep layers of peat, and below that, clay, sand and gravel which attract profit sniffing big business. To get to the peat, the land has to be stripped and drained. As the water continues to drip out of Vardley Moss and the digger continues to eat the peat and pile it onto the back of the truck, Gehenhöhle Council don’t know that this is even happening, despite the fact that they are supposed to be 'closely monitoring' the site.

"We are not aware of any peat extraction going on" says a council spokesman. I saw a different story. But then the recent history of Vardley Moss has been the unauthorised extraction of peat by MWB Holdings, owners of most of Gehenhöhle’s precious mosslands (and an estimated 50% of the Gehenhöhle area). MWB is also the huge corporation which owns the Central Canal, which goes from Rindstadt north-east through Gehenhöhle and Diesdorf, ending up flowing into the River Rorr after about 45 miles, as well as the main planner behind Gehenhöhle Football Club's 45,000 stadium, which has housed the national team since it's opening.

For over two decades Vardley Moss has been a battleground between conservationists who want to preserve the bog and its creatures, and those who want it mined for minerals and peat. In the middle with the power to swing the outcome has stood Gehenhöhle Council, armed with a battery of eco strategies. Yet the council’s caved in to the peat merchants. Unauthorised extraction of the land has gone on and on and on, to the point where there’s little of this prime habitat left to protect.

MWB Holdings' new plans in the 5 square mile Vardley site for an new national team stadium (with support from the FA), only 5 or so years after Gehenhöhle's stadium was built, together with a shopping centre and others will be presented to the council in three months time, with it expected to pass through.

These 'green belt' sites are in the hands of MWB. On Vardley Moss the digger continues to load peat onto the lorry. Carbon continues to escape into the atmosphere. The land continues to bleed.

Published 4 years ago. Comments (2)

[Nellietopia]

"Roster"
MD1: 0-0 v NMS [8] @ a random blurb
MD2: 1-0 v Kericia [28] @ another random blurb
MD3: v Hutt River [19] @ a final random blurb

My, my - that mastermind thought he/she/it was so crafty that he could play the rules to win. But he got lucky against NMS. The authority didn't have the gall to say no, not while he had some leverage. But after the debacle that was the first match, the Nellies were told that the snail was not eligible to play in any other matches (owing to the fact that she had died in the match against NMS... brave soul... the match official who murdered her was summarily dismissed; whether for stepping on and killing the snail or for allowing such a horrendous match to continue remains a little ambiguous). Clearly, the Nellies would need a new strategy against Kericia. According to rank, this would be the "easy" match. According to practice, it was clearly their game, but there would have to be some way to influence the odds...

---

Marty checked his watch. 11:33. His contact was late. He always seemed to pick the jobs that involved the late people, which meant that he was three (big) cups of coffees down into waiting at the cafe with nothing to do but grab another cup of coffee. And owing to the nature of his pick, he couldn't simply walk up and go to the bathroom to release 3 - soon to be 4 - (big) cups of coffee from his bowels. He was told at 11 sharp to meet his contact, that it would be a quick meeting, that the contact would short and hard to see, and that if it was past noon, he should pick up some roses for his girlfriend (even though he had just broken up with her after realizing that she was going out with another girl). Things weren't settling right in his brain. Maybe it was the three cups of coffee?

Marty started to do that weird sitting dance to hold out for as long as he could. He thought about getting that fourth cup, but he realized that the moment he stood up, he'd start an instinctual march to the bathroom. Moreover, there was the long line, during which he could miss out that meeting with the contact. Yet, the more that he thought about not getting up, the more he wriggled around in his seat by the window. And the kids running around him, slurping their frosty drinks, continued to give his nerves antsy feelings. There was a tingling sensation crawling up his legs, causing him to dance even more. He shuffled his feet to and fro. He nearly forgot that he had a meeting amid the trouble with his bladder.

Fortunately, salvation came quickly to him in form of a cup of coffee.

It was a kid who brought the cup of coffee. And the kid was making a delivery, but not to Marty. At least not intentionally at first. But the kid was on his way to mommy, and a slightly unfriendly tap from behind propelled the cup of coffee into the air. The kid didn't wait to see where the cup landed, chasing the other kid back from where that kid had come. But the cup hovered and flew in the air, its trajectory aimed at Marty. Marty didn't see the cup coming until it landed squarely on his lap, spilling the hot contents onto his trousers. He leaped into the air with a shrill shriek of horrifying pain.

He rushed into the bathroom to relieve himself. He hardly thought that not more than a few seconds ago 50% of his thoughts were solely focused on keeping his bladder tight. Now he was patting his crouch, patting dry the coffee stain that was now on his trousers. The smell was odd. Sadly odd. And he noticed that as he patted himself, the color was changing from brown to yellow. More horrifyingly, the trail of hot coffee turned into a trail of urine. Marty made the wise decision to quickly and quietly leave the cafe.

Only after he had headed for the exit did he realize that his contact had arrived. It was small and it was freakishly scary. And the only reason why he saw it was because no one else was in the cafe.

"Egads!" he cried.

The contact was silent and crawled over to him and yanked on his leg. It carefully reached into his pocket and stuffed a crumbled piece of paper into it. After that, it quietly crawled away, leaving Marty all alone in the cafe. He pulled out the piece of paper and read it aloud. "If you read this note, Kericia will lose."


And lo, it happened.

[Vilita]

Simple Puppetry

Vilita & Turori 1-0 New Cloudsdale

Nycflala Kater's Vilita & Turori Eel-Cat things started off their AOCAF title defense in questionable form, but still reeled in all three points in Audioslavia against an unfamiliar New Cloudsdale side.

Drawn in a group that included Naitpyge and Ibex in addition to New Cloudsdale, the Vilita & Turori Eel Cat things went into Group E as distinct favorites to easily progress into the knockout rounds.

After leading the team from between the sticks en route to AOCAF 41 glory in the Inevitable Syndicate, Nycflala Kater stood on the sidelines in his training suit as Turorian Gisterfred Q. Disterfred took the start for the Eel-Cat things with Marine Coast United youngster Cilamarah Issah on the bench.

The most experienced played in the Vilita & Turori lineup was Lopaki Kilpter who got the Eel-Cat things off to a perfect start with his goal in the opening minute of the match - seemingly setting the tone for a rout of a weak New Cloudsdale side that would set the tone for Vilita & Turori's title defense.

However, it was Kilpters only meaningful contribution of the match and New Cloudsdale showed impressive stature in holding Kater's young side for the remainder of the 90 minutes.

The Equestrian colony was making its second AOCAF appearance and was doing so as the lowest seeded nation in Group E. That fact sets a warning for Kater's Eel-Cat things, as the competition would only be getting stiffer from there with additional colonized entities Naitpyge and Ibex standing between the Eel-Cat things and a knockout round place.

	New Cloudsdale
:: Goalscorers :: :: 1' Lopaki Kilpter	:: Goalscorers :: :: None
:: Best Player: Etamara Kulkkiia :: Worst Player: Lopaki Kilpter :: Shots on Target: 2 :: Corner Kicks: 1	:: Best Player: Rainbow Shine :: Worst Player: Stormy Seas :: Shots on Target: 2 :: Corner Kicks: 2

Vilita & Turori Eel Cat Things ::
[GK] G.Q Disterfred II, [D.] Tlikao Muratai, [D.] Amarini Baracelv, [D.] Endur Rotropii, [ML] Vliela Lianksa, [MC] Lopaki Kilpter, [MC] Etamara Kulkkiia, [MR] Inlite Makakio, [FC] Inamari Altariiz, [FC] Nili Ylimaiina, [FC] Kaivel Illatara
BENCH::
[FC] Lboaisa Akarelm, [FC] Enluta Makakio, [M] Kigaoua Oalalka, [M] Purapal Eskiiy, [U] Matlya Eelador, [D] Jirijii Januaa, [GK] Cilamara Issah

Vilita Substitutions::
(36) - Endur Rotropii >>> Purapal Eskiiy
(67) - Nili Ylimaiina >>> Kigaoua Oalalka
(78) - Amarini Baracelv >>> Cilamara Issah

(For Future Statistical Reference)
GK:: G.Q Disterfred II - [6]

D.:: Tlikao Muratai - [6]
D.:: Amarini Baracelv - [9]
D.:: Endur Rotropii - [7]
ML:: Vliela Lianksa - [7]
MC:: Lopaki Kilpter - [5]
MC:: Etamara Kulkkiia - [8]
MR:: Inlite Makakio - [10]
FC:: Inamari Altariiz - [5]
FC:: Nili Ylimaiina - [5]
FC:: Kaivel Illatara - [6]

Vilitan Subs Bench:
FC:: Lboaisa Akarelm - [DNP]
FC:: Enluta Makakio - [DNP]
M:: Kigaoua Oalalka - [6]
M:: Purapal Eskiiy - [7]
U:: Matlya Eelador - [DNP]
D:: Jirijii Januaa - [DNP]
GK:: Cilamara Issah - [5]

[Audioslavia]

Matchday Three Scores

Group A
Ko-oren 1–0 Audioslavia scorinated by Licentian Islands
Legalese 1–0 Tynewear

  Group A                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Legalese                      3   3  0  0    8   1  +7    9
2 Ko-oren                       3   2  0  1    3   5  −2    6
3 Audioslavia                   3   1  0  2    2   3  -1    3
4 Tynewear                      3   0  0  3    1   5  −4    0

Group B
Thatius 0–0 Krytenia
New Gordonopia 1–3 Pacitalia

  Group B                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Pacitalia                     3   2  0  1    5   3  +2    6
2 Thatius                       3   1  2  0    3   1  +2    5
3 New Gordonopia                3   1  1  1    3   4  −1    4
4 Krytenia                      3   0  1  2    0   3  −3    1

Group C
Hutt River 0–1 Nellietopia
Kericia 0–0 New Montreal States

  Group C                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Nellietopia                   3   2  1  0    2   0  +2    7
2 New Montreal States           3   1  2  0    2   1  +1    5
3 Kericia                       3   0  2  1    1   2  −1    2
4 Hutt River                    3   0  1  2    2   4  −2    1

Group D
Osarius 3–0 Furellum
Blouman Empire 1–1 Andossa se Mitrin Vega

  Group D                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Andossa se Mitrin Vega        3   2  1  0    5   1  +4    7
2 Osarius                       3   2  0  1    6   2  +4    6
3 Furellum                      3   1  0  2    3   8  −5    3
4 Blouman Empire                3   0  1  2    4   7  −3    1

Group E
Ibex 2–1 New Cloudsdale
Naitpyge 0–1 Vilita & Turori

  Group E                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Vilita & Turori               3   3  0  0    3   0  +3    9
2 Naitpyge                      3   1  1  1    2   2   0    4
3 Ibex                          3   1  0  2    2   3  −1    3
4 New Cloudsdale                3   0  1  2    2   4  −2    1

Group F
Maklohi Vai 1–0 Bazalonia
New West Guiana 1–1 Valanora

  Group F                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Valanora                      3   2  1  0    6   3  +3    7
2 Maklohi Vai                   3   2  0  1    2   2   0    6
3 New West Guiana               3   1  1  1    4   2  +2    4
4 Bazalonia                     3   0  0  3    2   7  −5    0

Group G
The Inevitable Syndicate 1–0 Perlasilangan
Lymryk Isles 1–2 Starblaydia

  Group G                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 The Inevitable Syndicate      3   2  1  0    2   0  +2    7
2 Starblaydia                   3   2  1  0    3   1  +2    7
3 Lymryk Isles                  3   1  0  2    2   3  −1    3
4 Perlasilangan                 3   0  0  3    0   3  −3    0
* The Inevitable Syndicate placed above Starblaydia by virtue of a coin-toss.

Group H
95X 1–0 Preiva
Quakmybush 1–2 Farfadillis

  Group H                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Farfadillis                   3   3  0  0    8   3  +5    9
2 95X                           3   2  0  1    4   3  +1    6
3 Quakmybush                    3   0  1  2    2   4  −2    1
4 Preiva                        3   0  1  2    1   5  −4    1

Second Round Draw

Legalese vs Thatius @ the 66 Stadium, Cathair
Nellietopia vs Osarius @ the 1927 Arena, Kjeligsted
Pacitalia vs Ko-oren @ the Silica City Stadium, Silica City
Andossa se Mitrin Vega vs New Montreal States @ the Antzerkia, Ferramendiak

Vilita & Turori vs Maklohi Vai @ the Silver Jubilee Stadium, Ceilerden
The Inevitable Syndicate vs 95X @ The Old National, Hasiera
Valanora vs Naitpyge @ the Black Lemur Complex, Celtade
Farfadillis vs Starblaydia @ the Glass Bridge Stadium, Cathair

[Starblaydia]

OOC: Couldn't resist.

Blassii to Slavs: "Where's my R-P-S, Tossers?"
Starblaydia placed 2nd in bizarre format departure

Group G
  Group G                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 The Inevitable Syndicate      3   2  1  0    2   0  +2    7
2 Starblaydia                   3   2  1  0    3   1  +2    7
3 Lymryk Isles                  3   1  0  2    2   3  −1    3
4 Perlasilangan                 3   0  0  3    0   3  −3    0

* The Inevitable Syndicate placed above Starblaydia by virtue of a coin-toss.

Controversy erupted in Cathair last night as Starblaydia were declared to be in second place in Group G thanks to Audioslavian AOCAF Cup organisers deciding to change their competition format at the very last minute. Instead of, as was expected, using a Rock-Paper-Scissors competition between the two managers to decide ties, Starblaydia and The Inevitable Syndicate were subjected to a mockery of selection via the form of a coin flip.

"I'm absolutely livid," exclaimed Freddy Blassii Jr, Starblaydia's coach for the tournament, "here I was expecting to throw some shapes in a hard-fought best-of-three out there on the centre spot with Lewis Thackray and instead some idiot tosses a coin in the air and decides our fate that way."

Higher-ups at the SFA confirmed that they had voted for the Audioslavian bid at the time but were now 'regretting the decision', with an off-the-record source citing the World Cup 66 Sticker Album, with it's rare copies of Simeone Di Bradini for World Cup 25, as 'primary reasoning' behind the SFA voting that way. Now it is only hinted in low, behind-the-scenes conversations that collusion between the most recent World Cup co-hosts has led to a format change in order for The Inevitable Syndicate to progress as Group G 'winners'.

Starblaydi fans were already finding the tiebreakers a little odd, as good-old Goal Difference and Goals Scored would have put Starblaydia through already as group winners. But, alas, according to the official Audioslavian AOCAF Cup 42 Host Bid document:

After points earned, Head-to-head points will be the main seperator, followed by Goal Difference. After that, a game of scissors-paper-stone will be played in the centre circle, between opposing managers with the winner being the one with the larger RP bonus.

The other source of contention is Lymryk Isles striker Wobbly Clambanger's goal against Starblaydia to make it 2-1, which was either offside or had a foul on Zambrano in the build-up, or most likely both. Perhaps it's just that the vocal conspiracy theorists in Starblaydia are going all World Cup 29 on us again, seeing the shadow of Kryties and Casarans snickering together - but going all quiet when we come over like nothing was going on - behind every corner flag.

[Nellietopia]

"Roster"
MD1: 0-0 v NMS [8] @ a random blurb
MD2: 1-0 v Kericia [28] @ another random blurb
MD3: 1-0 v Hutt River [19] @ a final random blurb[color=#000000]R16: v Osarius [18] @ ok, we lied about the last one

Two matches' worth of managerial magic by this unknown managerial master wasn't enough to calm even the most certain fans of the Nellies. It's not enough that chance cubes were tossed, this leader knows how to pull the stops. And not only was he getting bolder with his attempts, he was getting better.

And he wasn't only one taking notice. Audioslavian authorities were starting to catch on the anomaly. Consider this - the only unranked team to win a match is now one point away from qualifying for the knockout round! It's not just unlikely, it's impossible! Of course, people always say "Anything can happen in football", but no one ever really means it, and by jingo, it's never an axiom to take to heart seriously. So the Audioslavian authorities looked at this match of Nellies against Hutts with an eye of suspicion. They weren't taking any chances.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, no Nellie Scout memorabilia will be allowed into the stadium.

Mickey looked at the proclamation as they walked into the stadium entrance. He shrugged his shoulders. "You really think that's going to work?"

Aeron shrugged his shoulders. "Well, they [Audioslavian AOCAF Organization Committee] think it'll work. I'm not sure what the big fuss is about."

"Those Nellies, that's what it's all about. And we're about to share an entire stadium with the lot of them."

Aeron again shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really see a problem with any of this. I mean, they're over-sized hairy spiders that occasionally bite people. What's bad about that? We've got worse things, like werewolves, vampires, elves, and Santa Claus. Who can fault the little buggers for what's obviously second nature to them? Or first nature, I guess..."

Mickey patted Aeron's shoulder as they emerged past the guards checking for Nellie Scout memorabilia. "I don't think you quite grasp what's at hand. It's not just Nellies, it's the whole establishment thing. Nellies don't win. Nellies just bite. And when they bite, bad things happen. That's why they've been getting after all of this Nellie shit, just to make sure that they don't get a competitive advantage."

"And, banning cookies is the best thing that they could think of?" Aeron said, taking his seat. The whole stadium was slightly uneasy. Just across from Aeron and Mickey (and most of the humans) were the horde of Nellies, and all of their various assorted critter friends. Even Aeron had to gulp to let in some air to ease the shock of the sight.

"Well... it's not just cookies, anymore."

The stadium announcer came alive with gust. "Ladies and Gents, please give us your attention for a moment as we begin our Remembrance Day festivities. We honour those who fought and died - mostly died, in recent memory - for Audioslavia, and for our continued existence as a great quasi-radioactive society, rebuilt to honour those who came and died before them. Please let us honour them with a moment of silence."

Mickey glanced at Aeron. "We're honouring whom?"

"Not sure," he whispered back.

After the moment of silence (which in retrospect wasn't very silent), the announcer came back. "We invite you to remain standing and... erm... I just got this notice from someone. Please pay attention. Um... everyone is invited to look under your chairs... and... open up your Remembrance Day gifts? What the..."

It was hard to ignore the announcer's invitation, even if the announcer didn't quite understand what this was all about.

"We get Remembrance Day gifts now?" Mickey remarked, as he looked under his chair.

"They're just bloody commercializing this holiday stuff now, Remembrance Day of all days!" Aeron said, ripping open his box. Doubtless, this was just going to be some cheesy stadium souvenir. He was really surprised when he pulled out a frying pan. He was doubly surprised when Mickey pulled out a frying pan as well. Then they noticed everyone else was pulling out frying pans. "What the hell is this?" On the handle, Mickey could just about read the faint inscription. "Nellie Scout Kitchen Supply - Official Frying Pan ©?"

At that, some garbled hisses and clicks came on the announcements. Aeron and Mickey looked at each other. "Big Brother ain't going to like this."

---

FTW Magazine

AOCAF 42 SPECIAL

So what's the meaning of it all? The computer may be still running the computations, but we've got a little faint idea about where it's going. In the meantime, we've got AOCAF 42 to criss-cross and analyze. To put things into perspective, we're planting a little of our (antiquated) perspective to the pairings for the Round of 16:

Legalese-Thatius
Lawyers rejoice! It's a pairing filled with legal jargon, fortified with a little bit of thallium for bone health.

Nellietopia vs Osarius
Nellies against Burning Birds? Surely, the Burning Birds has it?

Pacitalia vs Ko-oren
A linguist's conundrum, indeed. Is it a "pass-ih-tahl-ya" or "patch-ee-ta-lya"?

Andossa se Mitrin Vega vs New Montreal States
In this battle of the longest-name-countries, the one with the longest name wins it.

Vilita & Turori vs Maklohi Vai
Eel Cat Things will look to two-peat their championship.

The Inevitable Syndicate vs 95X
TIS against 95X - we like numbers.

Valanora vs Naitpyge
Elves are still around? Can we go for an upset here?

Farfadillis vs Starblaydia
It is a far-fetched reality that di Bradini fanboys will lose this match.

[Ko-oren]

And 180 minutes later we don't have to go home

AOCAF. Mention this word to most Greenblue national team followers, and prepare yourself for a few blank stares. Not because they do not know the tournament, but rather because they feel that Ko-oren has no place there. "They always favor the Northeast/Southeast/South", "It's only good for us to practice losing" and "We could as well use it to use some different players and strategies and such" are some phrases you will hear. Then again, Ko-oren does have a history in the World Cup, with three qualifications, the B-team has a few pieces of silverware from the Market Cup, even the U-21 team is doing well for a change, but when the national team goes to wherever in Atlantian Oceania to play AOCAF, you'll see television ratings go through the floor.

And actually, we are not even doing so bad. Second round, on our third try? Some nations have completely eclipsed us when it comes to advancing from any group stage, but we are a country of slow starters. Then again, the AOCAF team is the same as the World Cup team. So why do the results surprise us so much? Of course, the first game is always a problem. For the third consecutive cycle, Ko-oren is the statistically worst team after one match day. Supporters give up already, and another AOCAF cycle is doomed to be forgotten by most of the Ko-orenite public. And then there are two matches to be played.

The first was against Tynewear. The team had something to play for, if only just because of the horrible 5-0 loss against Legalese. The new players (Juliasterinthen, Napertnau, Eregrent, Terathu) knew they had to perform to avoid being benched again. And probably they were most surprised when there was a 2-0 score on the board at the end of the second game (goals by Terathu and Alfar). Third, and still behind last opponent Audioslavia, most did not give anything for our chances. Audioslavia, that team that has a high KPB ranking, as well as the highest AOCAF ranking.

Another 90 minutes later, we went from 3rd to 2nd, eliminating one of the strongest teams in the tournament, and Pacitalia awaits, so at least we know we'll be out of the cup by next game.

[Vilita]

Eel-Cat Things Slide Through

1-0 Results the Theme for Vilita & Turori

After watching the first game of the 42nd Atlantian Oceania Association Football tournament in a training suit, Nycflala Kater pulled on the Vilita & Turori kit once again as his team took the field against Ibex - albeit with a bright orange pinney over top of the uniform. Kater gave Turorian goalkeeper Gisterfred Q. Disterfred II, who started and recorded a shutout in the opening game against New Cloudsdale, a rest for the day, naming Marine Coast United's Cilamara Issah as the starter against Ibex and dressing himself as the backup on the bench.

Issah proved to be a great contribution to the Eel-Cat things side, serving almost as an 11th field player, leading the play and distributing expertly with an incredible 85% pass completion ratio including goal kicks and long balls. It was a serve from Issah that took one hop before setting Enluta Makakio free to put Vilita & Turori in the lead just minutes from the half time interval, and would end up being the game winning goal.

The Eel-Cat things nearly conceded two points, however. Hassan Dean unleashed a hopeful shot from 30 yards out that seemed destined to dip just under the bar, until it was met by the outstretching Issah who tipped the ball over and saved the 3 points for the Eel Cat things which coincidentally clinched their advancement to the second round of the competition.

Despite the strong performance, Kater turned the gloves back over to Disterfred to close out the group stage against Naitpyge where Vilita & Turori recorded another too-close-for comfort 1-0 victory.

It was a first ever goal for Amarini Baracelv that rounded out a perfect group stage for the defending AOCAF champions but Nycflala Kater would be left wondering whether his two young goalkeepers had gotten enough of a workout to have earned a start in the knockout rounds where the Eel-Cat things would no longer be facing Colonized upstarts, but instead, proven World Cup competition.

The draw would pit Vilita & Turori against Maklohi Vai, a side which defeated Vilita & Turori in the last meeting between the two sides, in the group stage of AOCAF 38.

	Ibex
:: Goalscorers :: :: 43' Enluta Makakio	:: Goalscorers :: :: None
:: Best Player: Cilamara Issah :: Worst Player: Geafi Laina-Sola :: Shots on Target: 4 :: Corner Kicks: 5	:: Best Player: Hassan Dean :: Worst Player: Azucena Salcedo :: Shots on Target: 1 :: Corner Kicks: 2

Vilita & Turori Eel Cat Things ::
[GK] Cilamara Issah, [D.] Tlikao Muratai, [D.] Endur Rotropii, [D.] Amarini Baracelv, [D.] Geafi Laina-Sola, [ML] Etamara Kulkkiia, [MC] Lopaki Kilpter, [MC] Inlite Makakio, [MR] Dalian Magagula, [FC] Nili Ylimaiina, [FC] Enluta Makakio
BENCH::
[FC] Matlya Eelador, [FC] Kaivel Illatara, [M] Vliela Lianksa, [M] Purapal Eskiiy, [U] Inamari Altariiz, [D] Jirijii Januaa, [GK] Nycflala Kater

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Lopaki Kilpter >>> Vliela Lianksa
(73) - Amarini Baracelv >>> Purapal Eskiiy
(82) - Tlikao Muratai >>> Kaivel Illatara

(For Future Statistical Reference)
GK:: Cilamara Issah - [6]

D.:: Tlikao Muratai - [8]
D.:: Endur Rotropii - [9]
D.:: Amarini Baracelv - [6]
D.:: Geafi Laina-Sola - [6]
ML:: Etamara Kulkkiia - [10]
MC:: Lopaki Kilpter - [7]
MC:: Inlite Makakio - [9]
MR:: Dalian Magagula - [6]
FC:: Nili Ylimaiina - [7]
FC:: Enluta Makakio - [6]

Vilitan Subs Bench:
FC:: Matlya Eelador - [DNP]
FC:: Kaivel Illatara - [5]
M:: Vliela Lianksa - [6]
M:: Purapal Eskiiy - [5]
U:: Inamari Altariiz - [DNP]
D:: Jirijii Januaa - [DNP]
GK:: Nycflala Kater - [DNP]

"

	Naitpyge
:: Goalscorers :: :: 65' Amarini Baracelv	:: Goalscorers :: :: None
:: Best Player: Amarini Baracelv :: Worst Player: Lopaki Kilpter :: Shots on Target: 4 :: Corner Kicks: 7	:: Best Player: Arastoo Nyilas :: Worst Player: Temel Küçük :: Shots on Target: 3 :: Corner Kicks: 2

Vilita & Turori Eel Cat Things ::
[GK] G.Q Disterfred II, [D.] Jirijii Januaa, [D.] Amarini Baracelv, [D.] Endur Rotropii, [ML] Inlite Makakio, [MC] Lopaki Kilpter, [MC] Dalian Magagula, [MR] Vliela Lianksa, [FC] Nili Ylimaiina, [FC] Matlya Eelador, [FC] Enluta Makakio
BENCH::
[FC] Kaivel Illatara, [FC] Inamari Altariiz, [M] Etamara Kulkkiia, [M] Altimo Ueboa, [U] Kigaoua Oalalka, [D] Tlikao Muratai, [GK] Cilamara Issah

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Lopaki Kilpter >>> Inamari Altariiz
(45) - Matlya Eelador >>> Kaivel Illatara
(66) - Vliela Lianksa >>> Etamara Kulkkiia

(For Future Statistical Reference)
GK:: G.Q Disterfred II - [5]

D.:: Jirijii Januaa - [5]
D.:: Amarini Baracelv - [10]
D.:: Endur Rotropii - [8]
ML:: Inlite Makakio - [8]
MC:: Lopaki Kilpter - [7]
MC:: Dalian Magagula - [10]
MR:: Vliela Lianksa - [8]
FC:: Nili Ylimaiina - [7]
FC:: Matlya Eelador - [6]
FC:: Enluta Makakio - [6]

Vilitan Subs Bench:
FC:: Kaivel Illatara - [6]
FC:: Inamari Altariiz - [6]
M:: Etamara Kulkkiia - [6]
M:: Altimo Ueboa - [DNP]
U:: Kigaoua Oalalka - [DNP]
D:: Tlikao Muratai - [DNP]
GK:: Cilamara Issah - [DNP]

[The Inevitable Syndicate]

Corvidae Triumphant

I've decided I want to continue reading this story. There's nothing left for me here in Fligsive any more, and hopefully finding these remaining dead drops can give me some insight into the lives of those affected by this year's changes. I did some research on Samuel Dannin-Fresko, and the only page I could find was the following:

A likely story. I'm going to that hotel to find some answers.

[95X]

95X AOCAF Cup 42 Roster

Sponsors
Burger Land, "Satisfying your hunger is magic!"
Capital of Culture Yogurt, "Our Capital of Culture is our yogurt factory!"
evilempire, "We pay our employees more than zero!"
Nekobus, "Transportation for a cat-eat-dog world."
Broadcast: XBN (X Broadcasting Network)

Formation: 4-4-2
Style: 0

Key: D-Defender, F-Forward, K-Keeper, M-Midfielder, U-Utility

## P Name                      M/F Age Soccer League X Team
Starters
00 K Trent Callahan            M   28  SC Cascadia
02 M Ron Twotwelfth            M   29  Spatula City Utensils
03 M Micah Warner              M   30  SC Oceanside
05 F Melissa/Michelle Mitchell F   ??  Cascadia Seafox
11 F Xi Foureleven             F   36  SC Oceanside
14 M Ryan Grand                M   24  Brooklyn Cultures
19 D Jerry Sixhundredfifth     M   25  Brooklyn Cultures
20 D Amanda Sixtwentyninth     F   25  Spatula City Utensils
21 D Al Lani                   M   28  SC Cascadia
22 D Allison Sixtwentyninth    F   25  SC Cascadia
41 M Animal Jones              M   26  Spatula City Utensils

Reserves
15 D Ross Long                 M   26  Seaside Gulls
16 F Conner Threesixteenth     M   33  Spatula City Utensils
18 F Wayne Henderson           M   27  Mount Barry Altitude
23 M Dennis Seventysecond      M   30  Seaside Gulls
25 F Joe Bluff                 M   32  Spatula City Utensils
30 F MacKenzee Wheatland       F   24  Cascadia Seafox
31 M Cassidy Eighttwentythird  F   25  Port Chester Ladybugs
32 M Ericka Threethirtyfive    F   22  Brooklyn Cultures
33 M Travis Sevenninetyeight   M   23  Port Chester Ladybugs
34 D Stacey Rex                F   32  Seaside Gulls
40 K Michael Gibbs             M   30  Spatula City Utensils

Head Coach: Bobby Stryker (Spatula City Utensils)

RP Permissions
RP goal scorers: Y
Godmod scoring events: Y
RP yellow cards: Y
RP red cards: Y
RP injuries: N
Godmod injuries: N
Godmod most events: Y
Godmod anything involving Xi Foureleven: N
Finally, please refer to the 95X Style Guide. If you learned something about 95X or it answers a question you'd otherwise have, make sure to click "Approve of this dispatch."

[Legalese]

Time to start watching
AOCAF going well for NT, but did you know that?

Over in Cathair, Audioslavia, the Legalese National Team has put on a show. In just three matches, they’ve proceeded to knock in eight goals, concede only a single tally - to the hosts, no less - and have, for the first time that anyone can remember, run the table, taking all nine points into the next round and a meeting with Thatius.

And yet, have you seen any of it? If you’re currently sitting in Legalese City and reading this, I suspect not, as the matches have not been televised. Network Six had the regional feed, but chose to make it optional for affiliates, with the matches happening during primetime. It seems they figured they’d get more ratings from episodes of “How I Met Your Voyeur”, “Island Life”, and everyone’s favorite investigative drama, “Crime and Justice”. A quick survey of the affiliates indicated that for all three of the first round clashes, they chose not to show it, understandable considering recent efforts in the competition have been for naught. Only the true diehards could see it online at Network Six’s website (http://www.nssport.co.lgl), and with a lack of numbers published by the network, it can be presumed that viewing was minimal.

That said, what you’ve missed is the rise of our next generation of stars. The goal has been patrolled beautifully by both Morrissey Beaudine and Dyllan Knetsch. Beaudine, Okerson’s primary netminder, had the benefit of a five-goal cushion in the opener with Ko-oren, but still made quick work of anything knocked in his direction, garnering four saves. He picked up another five saves against the hosts, conceding one. Knetsch, meanwhile, replaced Beaudine for the less-crucial group stage finale with Tynewear, and recorded a clean sheet on the strength of three saves, including a crucial punchover on a late long shot from the opposition.

Meanwhile, the defense has been expertly anchored by the Gruff and Ready Brothers. The two, Gnaeus Shoobridge and Gruffudd Masters, have been playing together since their under-eight days in Comunas. Now a decade on, their seemingly telepathic communication. While their youth flashed through once against Audioslavia, with a poor tackle by Shoobridge leading to the free kick that found its way into the net, the pair has played above their age level both for club and country, and should be a serious consideration for Stan Thate’s selections to the side as the next World Cup campaign approaches.

The real star of the show, however, has been Quintus Oxboro. The Titans striker has been successful early in his career, picking up his first winners’ medals for the National League and National Championship, enough to make the rising stars selection for regional play. His youthful recklessness served him well, scoring three times in two matches, with his strike partner in the opening two, Jacob Olsten, adding two tallies, including the winner versus Audioslavia.

Thate has expressed his pleasure with the young side, with an average age below twenty-one.

“They’re playing very strongly, and against top competition. It’s pleasing, no question,” he said after the 1-0 victory over Tynewear, clinching first in the group. “They’ve done everything I’ve asked them to do, and just need to keep delivering. Job’s not done yet.”

Traditionally, the AOCAF has not been a strong competition for the national team side, with the last successful appearance coming in the tournament’s early days, with a third-place finish at home centuries ago. Even the last time the full national team side got involved ended badly, with a bounce-out in the group stage.

Clearly, this time was different. Did it have anything to do with the team selection?

“I couldn’t say,” Thate replied, when asked that question. “But with us not knowing what qualifying is going to look like for us, this was a good opportunity to test out our team with some players who showed up strong in league play of late.”

Does this mean any of them are a threat to push for the qualifying roster?

“You never know what to expect [at qualifying], but strong play here certainly doesn’t hurt. If anything, it means a deep pool to choose from, and that’s where success starts.”

For what it’s worth, the remaining matches will be available nationwide, as Network Six has revealed that it has become required programming for affiliates - meaning no preemption for primetime programming. If you miss out on viewing the next generation now, the fault lies totally with you.

[Farfadillis]

Starblaydis

Alright, group topped. What's next? Yes, the Starblaydis again. Just like in the DBC, we have been very good so far - having missed no points so far shows it - and now we're facing Starblaydia. In the Di Bradini Cup they managed to beat us from the penalty spot, but will our luck change?

The match looks tough. The purple peril might not have Kochanska playing for them anymore, but they seem to have found another golden girl in Ffion McAllister, which every Farf will remember from that match I mentioned - in which we lost, I must repeat. However, their team is good overall, and we might find a defense that's difficult to beat, combined with a more than decent attack.

Their formation is pretty straight-forward. They've been using 4-4-2 diamond since the dawn of mankind. They're very neutral in terms of style, neither attacking nor defensive. I think it's pretty much obvious that after so much time

Terán celebrating a winning goal versus 95X.

they've just reached a time in which you cannot properly counter their formation. Otherwise, they would've changed something by now.

But that's not to say that we've not got some chances! I mean, our team can break through almost any defense, though at the cost of utterly sucking defensively. I'm pretty sure Tuzzio and Terán will give Dandalleion a few chances to finish, and Kâí and Alaminos will produce some of their own. However, the defense looks worrying. Faró is not that great, Frêndê has been terrible lately, and both Alaminos and Mêndêlöíndçêl can't do everything on their own. Lisdiren might be terrific, but he's human too. Summing up, we're Farfadillis, so expect a lot of goals and cross your fingers for some luck. It always works like that.

As for what we've shown in the last three matches, we were superior to the teams in the group, with 95X being the only one to prove a hard challenge. Preiva was as simple as two free kicks from Tuzzio headed by Tenian and two one-on-ones for Dandalleion. They scored an early goal, but that was it, really. The easiest match, obviously. 95X then gave us quite a scare, when Foueleven got to score a wonderful in the second minute of injury time of the first half. However, Tuzzio slotted in a creeping cross from Dandalleion in the seventy-fifth minute to equalize, so we were alright. In the end we managed to overcome them just slightly, after Terán surprised the goalkeeper with a powerful shot from the edge of the box. Quakmybush wasn't all that tough, though their last minute goal made the result say otherwise. Kâí's two assists were key, however, and I doubt Dandalleion would've scored those two goals without him. Overall an easy group we predictably could top, but we're no world class team.

But the Starblaydis also did really well. They won two games and tied to the fourth-placers of the last World Cup, ending second because of a coin flip. At the end of the day we'll know whether we were lucky or not. In terms of rank, it looks like we were not. In terms of recent achievements, it looks like we were.

One can only hope.

[Valanora]

Five Pointed Star

Long ago, before the first elf set for the sea
There were tales of stranger tides and the men who lived beyond them
Men of greater stature and fortitude than any those elves had encountered before
The strength, eyes, and regality of the eagle were supposed to be theirs
Men all larger than life who believed the world was theirs to have.

They crashed upon the shores of their fellow men
In such a violent way that even the kings of the day knew they were in trouble
Even if for a time their guard could beat back these strangers
Time would see them become a challenge for their own strength and men at arms
The legend of their strength and tenacity was everything they had been lead to believe.

With a mounting pressure and continued assaults
The kings of old were displaced when their karelan walls did break
Those men took the crown and wore it with a shiny grin
The herald of their halls all purple and gold
But it was the stripe of black of their heart that would soon be told.

Rivals from those ancient seas came thundering to
With sails so blue that they blended perfectly with the sky
Not a man among them felt any compassion for their predecessors
Although at one point they may have been kin
As far as these cyan men were concerned, their fellows were naught but sin.

These cyan clad men with their hamster banners charged forth
The purple and gold banners met them on the field of battle
It was a stage of great fright and might equal in measure
As steel clashed against steel and bullets fired so quick and fast that their smoke left a smog in the air
When at last the day was done, it was not the black hearted who ruled the day
But the cyan stranger and his tattered hamster banner.

Decades went by without a whisper on the wind of those purple raiders
Some thought they had vanished deep beneath the sea
After a creature of the night took ahold of their crown
Casting a great and terrible shadow over the land and sea that was their home
Banishing the few heroes that were among these savage folk
Those quiet decades were a peaceful bunch as the world flourished greatly
Only to shudder once more when the sound of their war horn echoed one dark and dreary night.

They came and conquered once more, like they had before with wroth no mortal could stand
Even as immortals rose to fight back their overwhelming tide
But every victory was only for an inch, only breaking their spirit for but a time
Eventually even the immortal could not stop the assault
And even the purple peril reached those untouched shores
Beat back the immortals to their own home and castle
Storming it and taking with it the jewel of the immortals grace and their pride.

It was a short lived victory, even with a five starred crown for those raiders
For the immortals were aided by men of another realm
Mystical beings of power unknown
And they shattered the ranks of the peril who plagued the lands of mortal and immortal alike
Broke their lines like shattered waves against a stony shore.

Those fearsome raiders have still been seen from time to time
But their force has never ever been the same as when they took the immortal's home
For however brief a time that might have been
Some say it is their comeuppance for tainting such beauty with their presence
And while still feared for what they have done and could do still
They no longer cause men to shiver in their boots.
Yet all it would take is for a captain among them to have the world once more have the eagle atop its pedestal
And that purple painted banner waving proudly in the wind of every castle they dared to desire.

[Audioslavia]

Apologies all, but RL has once again scuppered my plans. Second round cut-offs will be in twelve hours time, rather than now. QF, SF etc should be scorinated 'as advertised'

[Osarius]

OFA, Corradini Sportswear Furious with player equipment purchases

It emerged last night that several members of the Osarius national football team had purchased Nellie Scout Nellie Bite-Proof Under Armour © ahead of their clash with Nellietopia in the AOCAF Cup. The OFA are said to be furious, following strong complaints from their official kit and equipment supplier, Corradini Sportswear. While relations between the corporation -- now headed by Claudia di Corradi, wife of former national team manager Benedict -- and the OFA have been good for a long time, it is no secret that the chairwoman is not exactly a fan of her husband's former employees. A spokesperson for Corradini revealed "we're extremely disappointed in the OFA's failure to prevent this. We've had a very strong relationship spanning several decades, and quite frankly this is a betrayal."

The national governing body for football in Osarius, acutely aware of the potential fallout, should they end up entirely on the wrong side of Enzo Corradini's granddaughter, hastily put out a statement of their own.

"The OFA would like to issue a public apology to Corradini Sportswear over the communication mix-up within the national squad. It has since emerged that the players who breached our contract of exclusivity with Corradini Sportswear did so unwittingly, and out of concern for their safety ahead of their tough, upcoming fixture. We have been assured that none of the players will be wearing apparel fabricated by any company other than Corradini Sportswear in the AOCAF Cup fixture against Nellietopia."

In the midst of the commercial bickering, however, team captain Ezio Grassi feels that the safety of the players is being overlooked. Grassi, nominated as spokesperson for the squad in this incident, insists that the players were simply taking what they felt to be necessary precautions. "We don't know much about the Nellies, but we know they will bite, or sting." He explained. "Some of the guys took the opportunity to get tournament legal under armour in an attempt to protect against these bites. I can understand that. And since not one of us is a lawyer, we were unaware of the legal implications, as a team."

It remains to be seen how Corradini Sportswear wish to proceed from here, though they would certainly not be in much danger of losing any potential breach of contract lawsuit they might choose to bring upon the OFA. The players, however, appear to be stuck in the unenviable position of being obligated to play their upcoming match bereft of adequate protection.

* * * * *

THE DAY BEFORE THE MATCH: IN THE TEAM HOTEL...

Nathaniel Doherty glanced over at the television, airing a news report on the under armour "scandal". "So we're in the news over that?" He said, with a sigh.

"Apparently so. It's a bit crazy, eh?"

"A bit? It's freakin' insane! Why is it such a big deal that we bought additional under armour? It's not even like anyone would have seen it. It's under armour for cryin' out loud!"

"I hear you, Nat. But there's not much we can do about it. We just have to hope we get a solid ref who won't take any crap off these guys." Ezio Grassi replied calmly. He never seemed to get stressed out, never really got emotional, even. He was so mechanical in nature that it was a running joke leave cans of WD40 on the bench near his shirt in the dressing room. He saw the funny side, thankfully.

"Well guys, I don't know about that." Zachariah Morgan, the lanky centre back, came over. "You know when we made that order, we got a couple of bonus items thrown in, right?"

"Er... Right? Where you goin' with this, Zach?" Nathaniel raised an eyebrow, and almost strained his neck looking up at the beanpole defender.

"One of the bonus items were these Nellie Scout Chance Cubes © ..." He held them out for the other two to see. "Apparently they're guaranteed to be random."

"Random isn't always good, you know." Ezio chipped in.

"Well, I'd rather randomly have a shot at not being bitten by a Nellie."

"I'm kinda with Zach on this one, skipper." Nathaniel shrugged.

"Screw it, I'm tossing them." Zach concluded, and toss them he did.

[Nellietopia]

"Roster"
MD1: 0-0 v NMS [8] @ a random blurb
MD2: 1-0 v Kericia [28] @ another random blurb
MD3: 1-0 v Hutt River [19] @ a final random blurb
MD3 Part II
R16: v Osarius [18] @ ok, we lied about the last one

The Mastermind was up to his/her/its old antics once again. And this was perhaps his/her/its most ambitious manipulation yet. "This will require careful timing. Once the rift is formed, you will have about 18 minutes worth of time to work your mischief."

The AFLAC task force collectively and figuratively scratched their heads. "So explain this once again. What are we supposed to do?"

The Mastermind shook his/her/its head. "Listen, the rift opens. You go in. You make a mess. You come back. Everyone's happy. This is the best way to make things work."

"Where does the rift lead?"

The Mastermind answered, "Where I expect it to lead. Any other questions?"

The AFLAC task force nodded. "Okay, just as fine. At least it seems you know what's supposed to happen..."

---

Nellie Scout HQ

"We've got an order for 23 sets of our Nellie Scout Bite-Proof Under Armour ©."

"We don't make Bite-Proof Under Armour..."

"We do now..."

"Is that such a good idea in the first place? I mean, bite-proof?"

"Eh, we'll toss in some Nellie Scout Chance Cubes © to even the odds..."

---

"Are we in position? The rift is open!" The AFLAC task force moved into the rift - a dark and danky hole that ripped through the fabric of spacetime. The actual transit was less than a second, but it felt more like a thousand years for those passing through. It was a weird trip for those who fell through the rift, transcending even reality into a world that was so foreign to them that they needed a few moments to acquaint themselves with it.

The surroundings were strangely familiar, yet distant. The confines of the space were restricted by four white plastered walls, littered with posters of varying dark colours. The image of humans in various forms was painted in these various dark colours upon those posters. Along the walls were also various assorted pieces of wooden artifacts. One of these wooden artifacts had a large mat of coiled metal springs wrapped in a soft cloth fabric, cloaked in layers of similar yet distinctly woven pieces of upholstery. There were pieces of woven fabric littered all over the floor as well, the floor itself was hard to grip. The AFLAC task force personnel scouted the area for possible hostiles, but lacking any, decided to attack the pieces of wooden artifacts.

The task force leader honked as he crawled through the rift. "Hey!" he quacked. "Save that for our mission. We haven't much time to linger. Find the ordnance box of lights."

"Sir, this place stinks of humans."

"I know. But we have a mission to complete."

The task force proceeded quietly and carefully through the opening in the confined space. "It looks just like a human bedroom."

"Careful. Looks can be deceiving..."

They carefully trod through the hall to an adjoining room, which housed a white ceramic seat filled with water and some plastic pipes to funnel the water into and out of the room. "This must be the lavatory."

"We're not looking for that."

"The big ordnance box of lights. Say, that sounds awfully alot like a computer."

"You know, when we get there, we'll say what it looks like. Until then, keep your yap shut."

"Yes, sir."

They searched quickly and found the next room set up exactly as they would have expected (according to the plans issued by the Mastermind). There it was, the big ordnance box of lights, set upon hastily constructed pieces of wood and metal. There were fragments of woven cloth littered all over the room, complete with boxes of patched cellulose fiber boxes, reeking of semi-rancid foodstuff. "Is that pizza?"

"Focus on the box!" the task force leader said. They went to work, patching into the box and re-configuring the set pattern of lights. It took them a long time, but after some impeccably executed instructions, they had successfully accomplished their principal goal. "Success is ours."

"Can we ransack the place?"

"No, we've got to get back..."

Just then, wary sounds emanated from outside the room. The AFLAC task force members readied themselves. This was the moment of truth. A figure peered through the door. "What the fucking hell?!?" The figure walked into the room and saw the AFLAC crew, aiming their weapons at him.

The task force leader quacked, "FIRE!" And the crew peppered the figure with frying pans. "TO THE PORTAL! NOW!" With the figure reasonable subdued, the task force rushed out of the room, down the hall, and back into the bedroom. The rift was starting to swallow itself, it had already shrunk in size. "Quickly, or else we'll be stuck here forever!" The task force quickly filed one by one into the rift. The leader, naturally, watched and waited for the crew to vacate the premises before stepping into the void himself. Another eternity passed over a matter of nanoseconds before he re-emerged on the other side to the wry smile of the Mastermind.

"So, how was RL reality?" the Mastermind asked.

The task force leader shook his head. "Quite frankly, it stinks."

---

The figure rises wearily sometime later, rubbing the frying pan bruises gingerly. "That was weird. I didn't think geese were that rabid." He walks over to his computer, to check on the latest in AOCAF RPs, hoping not to read somethings excessively excessive. Only when he tries to get on his computer, the computer won't budge. "What the hell?!?" Did my computer just %$#^ me again?!?" He pulls out his phone and starts to text check out the NS forums, just to make sure he's not crazy. "I guess my computer just did %$#^ me again..."

He starts to type out a slightly disappointed note onto the forum:

Apologies all, but RL has once again scuppered my plans. Second round cut-offs will be in twelve hours time, rather than now. QF, SF etc should be scorinated 'as advertised'.

Say, that gives me a good idea...

[Audioslavia]

Second Round Results

Legalese 1–0 Thatius
Nellietopia 3–3 Osarius (3–3 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Pacitalia 1–0 Ko-oren
Andossa se Mitrin Vega 0–1 New Montreal States
Vilita & Turori 3–0 Maklohi Vai
The Inevitable Syndicate 0–1 95X
Valanora 3–2 Naitpyge
Farfadillis 3–2 Starblaydia

Quarter Final Fixtures

Legalese vs Osarius
Pacitalia vs New Montreal States
Vilita & Turori vs 95X
Valanora vs Farfadillis

[Valanora]

Tropic Thunder

When the cosmos was the only thing to exist
When this very earth beneath our feet was shifting and shaking
There were a few who dared to shape and form what we have come to know
To rise great lands from beneath the birth water
Crafting the land as their own mind dared to imagine
A place where champions, heroes, monsters, and legends alike could be born
A place like no other, where only the mightiest could call home.

This man, if he could be called a man, had an imagine quite grand
Crafting the mightiest of all the regions in the world
And when he had come to rest, he crafted one last legacy
A pair of islands where his sons and daughters to call home
Proud and secure the man put down his crafting tools
And took his long deserved rest.

As time passed by with years passing with the bat of an eye
The sons and daughters of this would be god grew restless
Yet they were not a warring bunch, to make peril on their neighbors
So they looked for other outlets to cure their restlessness
And found from the sons and daughters of another great crafter of the world
A sport to which the world was being drawn into like a fish to water
And they to took up this activity in earnest, to show that they were made from the greatest of all things.

That was not to be though, not entirely, as they experienced failures
Yet they were not deterred from their great task
And set about to make themselves better
To forge their bodies to the peak of physical perfection as their creator had done so their region
It would be a testament to his legacy
Using the regions growing number of people to create a new challenge that would see them better prepared
Yet they could not foresee a clever fox that would rise to that pedestal.

Yet in the end, despite the failures they may have had
Their persistance and endurance lead to their vindication
As they hoisted the trophy crafted from the gods that was given to the sports victor
And the world acknowledged their greatness and the greatness of their home
Their ancestor had his legacy and they had their triumph
As more and more legends and champions flocked to their homelands
Hoping to find the elixir of champions.

These children of great men were content
Though they continued to vie with the rest of the world in this great sport
All that their creator had desired had been brought to fruition
And their tropic home was ever the paradise
As had been the dream and sparkle in that great crafters eye
The forger of the best the world had to offer.

[Osarius]

"I tried to warn you, Zach." Ezio Grassi said, matter-of-factly to the centre-back, who screamed something -- well, not so much screamed as tried to, through a locked jaw, resulting in an odd, muffled, throaty sound -- at the Osarius skipper. "I know, I know, you'll listen to me in future. We all make mistakes, buddy." Ezio continued the mockery.

"Skipper come on, lay off him. He can't move." Nathaniel Doherty chimed in.

"Well he shouldn't have trusted in randomness, should he? Did I not warn the two of you about those chance cubes?"

"Yeah but it's not like you knew what would happen."

"Says who?"

"Yeah, Ezio. You really knew Zach would get hit by a dead pigeon falling from the sky. You knew it would be a source of attraction for the Nellies, and that he'd end up encased in purple silk. Sure."

"Whatever."

"I definitely won't be doing any chance cube related craziness again, though. Thirteen members of the squad are injured in some way after that ... was it even a match?"

"Yeah it was a match."

"There's an official result after all that?"

"Yeah, we won on penalties."

"What? How? Why do you even know this?"

"Because shootout coinflip, duh. And I pay attention." Ezio replied, as if it were obvious.

"But, what about the silk everywhere, and the stinging?"

"Didn't get me."

Nathaniel stared, open-mouthed at Ezio for a moment. "You don't really get this whole captain thing, do you?"

"Sure I do. I led the team to victory, didn't I?"

"I... Y-... What?!" Nathaniel stammered, trying desperately to make sense of the situation. "So, did we even score?"

"I got a hat-trick, dude. Were you even paying attention?"

"How the hell could I see what was going on after the first five minutes?"

"Oh yeah, the pigeon and stuff."

"I swear I heard some T. Rex sounding noises too."

"Don't be silly, Nathaniel. The last Tyrannosaur died millions of years ago."

"Well there was some Jurassic noise anyway."

"You're not very clued up on paleontology, are you? Tyrannosaurus rex was cretaceous period."

"Dude I don't care when it was, what the hell was that noise?"

"Dunno. Some giant lizard thing? I was too busy scoring my second goal."

"Are you serious right now?"

"Why would I be joking?"

"I... I can't."

"I'm not sure why you're so worked up. We won. We're in the quarter finals. What's your problem?"

"Uh... That half the team is injured?"

"They're not injured. Most of them are just bitten. There's an antidote, you know."

"That's beside the point!" Nathaniel erupted.

"How? Nobody is going to be permanently hurt. Zach might not be able to play next game, but everyone else should be fine."

"What about Nicolo?"

"Oh yeah, the gaffer said he'll be okay for the final."

"If we get that far."

"We won't if you keep talking like that."

"There's something wrong with you, Ezio."

"Is there? Or am I the only member of the team capable of rationalising and compartmentalising my emotions adequately to ensure a high level of performance every game?"

"Forget it, man. I'm going to the hospital."

"Okay, tell the guys I said feel better. I'm gonna rest up and get started on prep for next game. Do you know who we've got?"

"Fuck you, Ezio." Nathaniel replied angrily, as he walked away.

"It was a legitimate question." Ezio muttered to himself, scratching his head. His eye caught a scrap of card on the ground, torn from something considerably larger, and slightly scorched.

"ellie out ookies?" He read aloud. "Oh right, Nellie Scout Cookies. I hear they're pretty good. Maybe I should send the guys some while they're in hospital. Cheer them up."

[Farfadillis]

- Grandad, can you continue the story?

- I sure can, kid.

The floor was barely trembling while I slept. Or at least that's what I think. I mean, I remember stumbling a lot during my dreams. However, I managed to sleep through all the darkness and grotesqueness of the day. I woke up to a whole new different day. A splendid new day. It had returned to what it has started off. An awesome day. The sun was shining, the tempereature was perfect and the breeze of the wind was very soft. I mean, it was just perfect. Very perfect. Except for the fact that my whole family had died, obviously. But the day was just so, so, so beautiful. I could even forget that for a moment.

But there was an island, very big, in front of me. In the middle of the sea. Right... in front. I can still remember it down to every little detail. I'm far from having an eidetic memory, but it somehow activated for that island. It was just so weird, yet relieving to see it. Inspiring. I knew there was a new beginning. But, somehow, suddenly, it disapeared. I could see it fade away. Somehow.

A lot of fog surrounded it. Clouded with very black fog, it started to go up in the luminosity scale until it finally blended with the sky, and finally faded out. It was... quite a something. It would take some time for me to know what it had been. It surprised me a lot.

A tear rolled fown my cheek. Then I remembered everything, and the sorrow filled my veins. My mother, my father, my family. Everyone, gone. And now that island too. But, actually, that just indicated a new beginnign. Just a simple new beginning. I looked around, the silence was very bearable. It was actually quite pleasant. The air filled my lungs and refreshed them, for the first time in years. And then something caught my attention: there were no houses.

What had it been? - I proceeded to ask myself.

The whole thing had been very grotesque. But I couldn't figure out what had happened. All the corpses had disappeared. Everyone had. The houses too. I was now in the middle of the nothing. It was as if the whole disaster had given me some time to think about the world around me. I was ten, but highly intelligent anyway. As cold as I was, I just sat on the floor and went on to ponder over it. It surely meant something. And, what would the other nations think? And what would be of Farfadillis? Would it be gone forever? What with the Farves on other countries? And, more importantly, what with me?

And then I saw him. It was him. It was finally him. Dad. He came and stretched his arm, offering me his help to get up. I grabbed it, pulled, stood up, and I told him that it had been forever. And it had been. I then blinked.

I was now at home, I had just woken up. I remembered it was late: Farfadillis was already playing against Preiva.

But I couldn't care less. My life had changed forever.

- So it had been just a nightmare?

- No, it had been very real, and very positive.

- What had it been, then?

- Jimmy.

[Legalese]

The Heat is On
Firebirds clash first of up to three major tests

In an AOCAF Cup full of unlikely heroes for the Legalese National Team, currently comprised of a collection of youngsters with no caps to their name prior to this tournament, it is no surprise that an unlikely hero rose to the occasion in the second round victory over Thatius. Nathaniel Sule, the left wing back from the K-League-winning Minto Wombats, made an impact as a late injury substitute, starting by keeping the match level on a sliding save to tip out a shot that had snuck by his keeper, Beaudine, and then heading down the pitch to knock in the winning header in the 78th minute, the goal that would send the NT through to a quarterfinal clash with Osarius.

What is surprising, though, was Manager Stan Thate's comments yesterday about tonight's clash.

"Osarius is a strong side, which we know from experience. But as the saying goes, you dance with the one that brought you. I'm not planning any changes to the lineup."

These words speak a message clearly: it's about consistent play, not just what you can do with a short span. Sule's performance versus Tynewear - his only other appearance - was described afterwards as mostly solid, but undistinguished by pundits, leaving it no surprise that Thate's picks reflect that this is their toughest test yet.

"We know what to expect, but that doesn't make the job any easier," Thate said at yesterday's pre-game conference.

Of course, we know what to expect if Legalese survives their toughest test yet: simply put, their toughest test yet, as they would face either the perennial power in Pacitalia, or a consistently strong opponent in the New Montreal States.

As usual, Thate brushed off questions about either potential opponent.

"Sorry, I don't have time to worry about the next round. If we win this one first - and we certainly can, then we'll talk.

[Vilita]

Eel-Cat Things Come to Life at Old National

Vilita & Turori 3-0 Maklohi Vai

Hasiera, Audioslavia :: After barely sliding through the group stage with a perfect, but somewhat less than impressive 3-0-0 record - consisting of 9 points but just 3 goals for, and zero against, the Vilita & Turori Eel Cat things AOCAF title defense entered the elimination phase where any mistake at the back - given the youngsters seeming inability to find the back of the net themselves - clearly risked the end of their reign as regional champions.

Nycflala Kater's Eel-Cat things were drawn against Maklohi Vai, the Kirola-kitted sharply numerized bunch which included Tumo Makanopalani, a Vilita League starlet playing for Kiiarana City.

Kater tapped Marine Coast United's Cilamara Issah between the sticks for the match against the Vaian's - keeping up the direct rotation between the Vilitan prospect and the Turorian G.Q. Disterfed II who this time sat on the bench leaving Kater to focus on coaching duties.

The match, at the old Soundgardian National Arena - now renamed 'The Old National', had recently undergone renovation after falling into disrepair. In its hay-day, the National Arena was an epicenter of sport, hosting the final of World Cup 7, but despite the renovations, poor sight lines and dilapidated facilities left some to be desired for fans and media alike.

One of the quaint features, however, was the old manual scoreboard which survived the renovation and still required some lowly chap watching the match through a hole in the wall to see if any goals were scored.

It was no secret that goals were the focus for Nycflala Kater after his side struggled to produce them during the group stage despite a notable lack of quality in opposition. Perhaps it was nerves of trying to defend a title instead of play for one - or perhaps it was a lack of leadership on the pitch with experienced players like Jomur Hulyer and Vilita & Turori super-star Kristofer Kilpter taking a step back in the twilight of their careers, satisfied to have already achieved their goal of a regional championship.

So Kater leaned on another Kilpter - 22 Year Old midfielder Lopaki Kilpter; the most experienced player in the squad with the exception of Kater himself. Named as captain for the match and starting on the left side of midfield, Kilpter was given free reign to 'make something happen' and thats exactly what the Kiiarana City midfielder did.

Coming in from the wing, Kilpter slotted the ball in a self-pass through the legs of Wamoro Ulanamauaio before firing a shot to the near side of Numatao Makai. The Vaian goalkeeper got a palm on the ball but could only deflect it slightly, watching as it bounced to the ground the up into the roof of the net. It was just 6 minutes in and Vilita & Turori were already on the board, with nearly the entire game ahead of them to get the second goal that had eluded them thus far in the competition.

It wouldn't take more than 10 minutes however, and it was Kilpter again doubling the lead for the Eel-Cat things. Relief began visibly to be seen on the Vilita & Turori sidelines as it appeared the weight of the world had been removed from the shoulders of a concerned Nycflala Kater, but the production could not come from just one player.

Nili Ylimaiina added a third to send the Eel-Cat things on their way to the semi-finals, however, a half-time substitution that saw Inlite Makakio replace Kilpter for the final 45 minutes yielded no results, as the second half played out without a goal on either side, leaving Kater to further ponder whether the lack of an experienced leader on the pitch would eventually come back to haunt his side.

	Maklohi Vai
:: Goalscorers :: :: 6' Lopaki Kilpter :: 16' Lopaki Kilpter :: 38' Nili Ylimaiina	:: Goalscorers :: :: :: ::
:: Best Player: Nili Ylimaiina :: Worst Player: Vliela Lianksa :: Shots on Target: 6 :: Corner Kicks: 10	:: Best Player: Tumo Makanopalani :: Worst Player: Wamoro Ulanamauaio :: Shots on Target: 2 :: Corner Kicks: 3

Vilita & Turori Eel Cat Things ::
[GK] Cilamara Issah, [D.] Endur Rotropii, [D.] Tlikao Muratai, [D.] Inaosnaa Klanoa, [DM] Klaillal Tuirma, [ML] Lopaki Kilpter, [MC] Etamara Kulkkiia, [MC] Vliela Lianksa, [MR] Dalian Magagula, [FC] Nili Ylimaiina, [FC] Enluta Makakio
BENCH::
[FC] Matlya Eelador, [FC] Inamari Altariiz, [M] Inlite Makakio, [M] Kigaoua Oalalka, [U] Amarini Baracelv, [D] Jirijii Januaa, [GK] G.Q Disterfred II

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Lopaki Kilpter >>> Inlite Makakio
(66) - Nili Ylimaiina >>> Inamari Altariiz
(67) - Inaosnaa Klanoa >>> Matlya Eelador

(For Future Statistical Reference)
GK:: Cilamara Issah - [6]

D.:: Endur Rotropii - [8]
D.:: Tlikao Muratai - [8]
D.:: Inaosnaa Klanoa - [7]
DM:: Klaillal Tuirma - [4]
ML:: Lopaki Kilpter - [8]
MC:: Etamara Kulkkiia - [7]
MC:: Vliela Lianksa - [5]
MR:: Dalian Magagula - [8]
FC:: Nili Ylimaiina - [6]
FC:: Enluta Makakio - [5]

Vilitan Subs Bench:
FC:: Matlya Eelador - [6]
FC:: Inamari Altariiz - [6]
M:: Inlite Makakio - [7]
M:: Kigaoua Oalalka - [DNP]
U:: Amarini Baracelv - [DNP]
D:: Jirijii Januaa - [DNP]
GK:: G.Q Disterfred II - [DNP]

[Audioslavia]

Quarter Final Scores
Legalese 1–2 Osarius @ the 66 Stadium, Cathair
Pacitalia 3–1 New Montreal States @ the 1927 Arena, Kjelstad
Vilita & Turori 2–2 95X (2–2 AET) (5–4 pen.) @ the Old National, Hasiera
Valanora 1–4 Farfadillis @ the Silver Jubilee Stadium, Ceilerden

Semi-Final Fixtures
Osarius vs Pacitalia @ the 66 Stadium, Cathair
Vilita & Turori vs Farfadillis @ Silver Jubilee Stadium, Ceilerden

OOC: Next scorination will be back at the usual time, so get your RPs in *before* 11pm UTC on Thursday.