I World Games—roleplaying thread

[Commerce Heights]

This is the roleplaying thread for the I World Games, to be held in Aeropag, Paripana. OOC discussion should take place in the discussion (signup) thread.

SCHEDULE
The Games will be held from Tuesday, 2011-10-25 to Monday, 2011-11-07; the opening ceremony will be on Monday, 2011-10-24. Results will be posted at approximately 20:00 UTC on each day. A complete schedule of events will is available in the results thread.

PARTICIPATING NATIONAL COMMITTEES
Thirty-five national committees will be participating in the Games:

• Abcdefghijklmnopqstuk (ABK) (roster)
• Academy Association (ASA)*
• Ad’ihan (ADN)
• Association francophone (ACF)*
• The Babbage Islands (TBI)
• Baltskandio (BSK)
• Boriem (BOR)
• Bostopia (BOS)
• Cafundéu (CAF)
• Cahrphya (CHP)
• Capitalizt SLANI (COM)*
• Carmadin (CRM)
• Civil Citizenry (CVC)
• Community Athletics (CAA)*
• Cyborg Holland (CYB) (roster)
• Darmen (DAR) (roster)
• Ernest Pan (PAN)
• Euskirribakondara (EUS) (roster)
• Green Jello Salad (GJS)
• Homelands our (HLO) (roster)
• Jasĭyun (JSY)*
• Krytenia (KRY)
• The Kytler Peninsulae (KYP)
• Liventia (LEN)
• Lontorika (LTK)*
• Lymantatia (LYM)
• Megadia (MGD)
• Miley World (MIL) (roster)
• Monlyuxeburga (MNL)
• Shofercia (SHO) (roster)
• Sorthern Northland (SNO) (roster)
• Southern Cynocephali (SCY) (roster)
• Sportgirls (SPG)
• Thatius (THA)
• Zwangzug (ZWZ) (roster)

*The Academy Sporting Association, Association des clubs francophone, Community Athletic Alliance, Lontorikanische Sportbund, Capitalizt SLANI, and Jasĭyun are member associations of the hosting organization, the Paripana Sporting Council. All are based in Paripana and draw their athletes from that same geographic area.

OTHER THREADS
Results thread
Roster thread
Signup/discussion thread
Aeropag’s bid for the I World Games

[Cyborg Holland]

New Amzterdam Airport, 3:25 pm

"Delayed, Again! I can't believe it" moaned Oliver Koznov, the Cyborg Holland flag bearer for the I World Games. They had intended to fly out to Aeropag at 10 O' Clock this morning, but heavy thunderstorms over New Amzterdam had delayed thier flight twice. It had just started to clear up, but the plane was undergoing repairs.

He walked over to his luggage and pulled out the flag of Cyborg Holland, he then went over to a flower pot and stabbed the flag in

"I hereby claim this seating area for Cyborg Holland!"

The Other people in the Airport gave him a funny look.

"Ollie! Come! Our plane is ready, we're leaving!" came a voice from the other side of the room

"Finally"

In the air, three hours later

"Double Espresso"
"Is that all?"
"Yes Thank you"

Oliver turned to the athlete sitting next to him

"Funny this"
"What?"
"I never thought that being a ball gymnast, would ever land me in an international competition"
"Mmmm, playing Rugby Sevens is more likely, but i'll let yu have your fun"
"I hate you" siad Oliver jokingly, whilst giving his neighbour a freindly punch

Day I Schedule

The Opening day of the I World gamesis packed with events with Cyborg Holland involved. With only 36 nations competing, Cyborg Holland should be in wit some medals early on.

First Up is woman's Australian Football, with the Dragons in Group A, aong with Megadia and Lontorika. We look to qulaify from that group. Then it's Baseball, where Cyborg Holland face Megadia in Group C. Gaelic Football next, where the Dragons face Boriem, a relitavely unknown nation in Group C.

Over at the Gymnastics arena, Many Cyborg Hollands athletes are in action. They are:

Oliver Koznov (CYB)- Men's Ball
Rory Steyn (CYB)- Men's Ball
George Cancy (CYB)- Men's Ribbons
Lee van Berg (CYB)- Men's Ribbons
Harriet Nickles (CYB)- Women's Hoop
Sally Grott (CYB)- Women's Hoop
Kylie Klinner (CYB)- Women's Rope
Vanessa Monroe (CYB)- Women's Rope

Then onto Korfball, where New Amzterdam Sports Club have put forward a mixed team to compete. Don't hold your breath for a medal there. We play Lymanatita in our first match. There is plenty of Roller derby tomorrow as well, and our athletes are as follows:

Hadraig Monler (CYB)- 300m Time Trial/10,000m P&E
Mikael Carter (CYB)- 300m Time Trial/10,000m P&E
Nicholas Carter (CYB)- 300m Time Trial/10,000m P&E

Elissa Braun (CYB)- Women's 300m Time Trial/Women’s 10000m P&E
Janie Braun (CYB)- Women's 300m Time Trial/Women’s 10000m P&E
Jenny Carter (CYB)- Women's 300m Time Trial/Women’s 10000m P&E

That's all for the 25th, and we look to start the Games with some medals!

[Zwangzug]

"Well as you can tell there are some thunderstorms up ahead, we're just going to circle for a little bit, we should make it into Aeropag in no more than an hour. If the American football players in the back would be so kind as to refrain from dowsing each other with the in-flight refreshments, that would make everybody's flight smoother."

It had been a very long flight, although Jessalie hadn't been able to get to sleep. The soundtrack featured, variously, at least one of the karate competitors snoring at pretty much all hours, Tod and Curtis' interminable best-out-of-2n+1 card games, and various Abominable Snowmen's slightly bawdy songs until Minnie had given them an "or else" ultimatum. (A twitchy running back seemed to be regretting not trying the "else" but hadn't done anything yet.)

Stewart and Mira were bent over a piece of paper in front of them, snickering. Jessalie blinked and tuned in when they got to the "no they don't have to be actual squares, you just draw them so they fill up the page, how do you win anything with that kind of hand-eye coordination?" but then tuned out at the "okay, free space. What else?" part, whereupon they tossed around various ideas to put on a worldwide multi-sport event bingo card--despite the Games being the the first of their kind, really, there wasn't exactly a precedent, the golfers seemed to know what to look for.

She was sitting in the window seat, next to Gabriel, who she had seen around before. From what she remembered of him, he was a nice enough guy who could get long-winded, and she pretended to be listening to music (her headphones were in fact broken and that didn't really happen) when he tried to start a conversation. Eventually he started bugging the pitcher on his other side instead.

She thought they were flying eastish. She didn't know, nobody seemed to care. It was pretty dark and nobody was going to bother to change their watches for quite a while.

Copies of the schedule came around, eventually. Gabriel looked at his and barely shrugged, Jessalie blinked back at hers but wasn't sure what to make of it.

And then it got passed to Stewart and Mira.

"Dude, okay, nonstandard notation, right here!"

"Are you serious? The first thing on that list is--"

"Never mind the first thing on the list, look down here."

"No, just, the Abominable Snowmen. Are going to play a competitive game. This is kind of scary."

"Forget the Abominable Snowmen and--"

"Look, it even reminds people how long the quarters are."

"So what--wait. What? We have to go look at the baseball thing now!"

"Hey, you're...yeah. Awesome! Runs against! It's like they're incentivizing pitchers' duels or whatever!"

"I know right?"

"Definitely not a space on the card for this. Dangit."

"Wait, did you hear something?"

After a bit of trial and error Stewart and Mira realized that some of the ultimate players behind them wanted to look at the schedule too, and regretfully passed it back.

But somehow amid all that, she must have gotten to sleep after all, in the end, because the dreamlike memory was still there. Gabriel craning past her to look at the window--"Lookit! That's it, that's where it all began."

She caught a glimpse of the city below, and then jerked awake with a start--but it couldn't have been more than a dream, there was still quite some time to go before Aeropag. The start of the modern Olympics, and in just a few hours' time, the start of the World Games.

[Homelands our]

Yesterday the homelands our plane was diverted to ceator
"what,how,it's from 1989,that's why the planes wing fell off"moaned Andrew fapo
"you do have a point,Andrew,1989 22 years have pasted since then did you see the homelands coming passenger plane is a 2010 it's not like they don't have the money" amy doc also moaned
But they are here and can't wait for the opening ceremony.
Kyle day has been out on the golf course all week
And david and marri Frey have been perfecting their skills

[Commerce Heights]

HISTORY
Once the capital of the nation of Jativa, Aeropag is located on a cluster of islands at the center of the Jativan archipelago on the western reaches of Paripana. The city gained worldwide prominence at the first assembly of the nascent Olympic Council, at which Capitalizt SLANI revealed its outlandish plan to host the I Olympic Winter Games on an artificial island that would dwarf the city’s only natural island, and using refrigeration to circumvent the issue that Jativa’s subtropical climate is completely unsuitable for winter sports. The delegates at that session were impressed and chose Aeropag over the other three bids, and its successful hosting of those Games made it the birthplace of the modern Olympic movement.

Aeropag’s name was put forward again for the Games of the IV Olympiad, this time through an alliance of Paripana’s several sporting associations, known as the Paripana Sporting Council. For these Games, the PSC proposed to build another island, larger than the last, and construct upon it an iconic skyscraper, the Olympic Tower. The Tower would provide an athletes’ village, reconfigurable stadia, a medals plaza, broadcast facilities, and administrative offices in a single site. In an ad hoc vote, the Olympic Council having been long since disbanded, Aeropag defeated Nowy Orpington, Quintessence of Dust to become the first city to host two Olympic Games. After the Games, the PSC proposed a new Olympic Charter by which to reëstablish the Council, and once that plan was put into action, the members of the Council agreed to place its headquarters in the Olympic Tower and make Aeropag the Olympic capital.

VENUES
OLYMPIC TOWER
The Olympic Tower, on Coubertin Island, is the tallest building in Aeropag, at 224 stories and 1 490 m tall. Known affectionately as “the Cathedral of Sport” or simply “the Cathedral”, this grand edifice of glass and steel is home not only to the headquarters of the Olympic Council, but also of UICA, the organizers of the world’s premier club football competitions, and of the Paripana Sporting Council, which owns the building through its subsidiary Olympic Tower Management. A total of fourteen venues in the Tower will host the majority of events at these World Games, including the famed Olympic Tower Stadium, which will host the ceremonies and medal matches in several sports. The world-class Tower Hotel will be pressed into service as an athletes’ village, media from around the globe will set up shop in the International Broadcast Center, and medal ceremonies for most events will take place in the Olympic Museum’s Hall of Champions.

Olympic Tower Stadium
Sitting at the pinnacle of the Tower, Olympic Tower Stadium was the Olympic stadium of the Games of the IV Olympiad, hosting ceremonies, athletics, and several medal matches. Though it seats 196 812 in its usual configuration, tailored for association football club CF Aéropag, that capacity will be reduced to 185 810 for the World Games as the stadium is returned to its original Olympic layout. The stadium is famous for hosting another fortnight-long event, the biennial Aeropag Football Invitational, in which sixteen clubs from around the world battle for trophies, gold, and other assorted goodies. It has been chosen to host finals of both the Champions’ Cup and Globe Cup, and was a venue for World Cup 51, hosted in Paripana and Septentrionia. Olympic Tower Stadium is slated to host the rugby sevens competitions, and the medal matches of American football, Australian football, baseball, Gaelic football, lacrosse, and softball. It has a retractable roof, which will be open during the ceremonies if weather permits, but closed during competition events to allow the air pressure to be increased to that at sea level.

Tristiano Droga Arena
This stadium sits directly below Olympic Tower Stadium, on floor 224. Known unimaginatively as “Arena 1” during the Games of the IV Olympiad, it hosted an omnium-gatherum of events (but not the track cycling omnium, which had yet to be invented). As the athletics track was removed from Olympic Tower Stadium after the Games to tailor that stadium for association football, Stadium 1 was transformed into an athletics stadium, and was named for Bulgislavian athlete Tristiano Droga, who amazed the world by winning an unprecedented hat-trick of medals in Aeropag, gold in the men’s 200 m and 5 000 m races and bronze in the pole vault. More recently, the arena hosted the grand final of the first world championship in Australian football, and during the World Games it will be used for that same sport. Its Australian football field has dimensions of 150 m × 120 m.

Stadia 3–7
Stadia 4–7 are temporary venues, nearly identical in design to Tristiano Droga Arena except that they will be configured for different sports. Stadium 3 will replace the smaller arena used by ice hockey club Aeropag Penguins, though we cannot mention the official name of that arena. Stadia 3–6 will be used, respectively, for lacrosse, baseball/softball, American football, and Gaelic football, while Stadium 7 will be used exclusively for the invitational events of Babbage rules football, rugby league nines, and ultimate.

Arenas
Seven smaller temporary arenas, similar in size to those used for basketball or ice hockey, on the floors below the stadia will be used for a great many events. Each has been named for the events it will hold: Boules Sports Arena, Bowling Arena, Gymnastics Arena, Korfball Arena, Martial Arts Arena (for chess boxing, karate, and indoor tug of war), Powerlifting Arena, and Roller Sports Arena.

Olympic Museum
The Olympic Museum, located on the first and second floors of the Tower, is home to a large collection of artifacts from the modern Olympic Games dating back to the first edition in Aeropag, as well as a few surviving pieces from the ancient Games. In the Hall of Champions, the names of every Olympic medalist from the modern Games are on display; the listing for the Games of the IV Olympiad constitutes the official roll of honor for those Games. For the World Games, the Hall of Champions will be set up as an auditorium, hosting medal ceremonies; at the conclusion of the Games, the World Games roll of honor will take its rightful place in the collection.

ORANGE–GREEN BOWL
The Orange–Green Bowl is on the only natural island in Aeropag, named Aeropag Island, and is the only competition venue not on or around Coubertin Island. It was the Olympic stadium for the I Olympic Winter Games, then known as Aeropag Olympic Stadium. To avoid confusion with Olympic Tower Stadium, the Orange–Green Bowl reverted to its original name at the opening of the Games of the IV Olympiad. As the Aeropag Penguins football club (now CF Aéropag due to a merger) moved into the newer, snazzier stadium, the Orange–Green Bowl was downsized after the Games to reclaim highly-valuable land, and it now seats only 21 860. It will host the invitational events of camogie, hurling, and rugball; subway service between the Olympic Tower and Orange–Green Bowl will be provided free of charge to spectators bearing tickets for these events.

OLYMPIC PARK
The Olympic Park is a landscaped area surrounding the Olympic Tower, and is the only significant green space in Aeropag, which is otherwise densely packed with tall buildings. The Park in its usual state will host the field archery and outdoor tug of war events. Once the field archery is complete, it will be transformed overnight into a championship-calibre golf course, built to the following specifications by a large crew armed with heavy equipment. In a surprising move, this golf course has been chosen to host the single golf event, and not any of the other sports.

Hole     1    2    3    4    5    6    7    8    9   10   11   12   13   14   15   16   17   18
Par      4    3    5    4    4    5    4    4    3    4    4    4    3    4    5    4    5    3
Yards  435  213  540  379  410  508  433  379  213  426  409  445  213  413  518  405  508  237

AEROPAG NATATORIUM
The Aeropag Natatorium does what it says on the tin, and is one of the shortest buildings in Aeropag. Built for the Games of the IV Olympiad as the only permanent venue outside the Olympic Tower, it will host the fin swimming and lifesaving pool events. Its management will make an extreme effort to make these events a pleasant experience for all in attendance, as they would very much like to justify to themselves the existence of the building.

JATIVAN SEA
Lifesaving beach events, water skiing, and the invitational sport of kemelilui will take place in the Jativan Sea surrounding Coubertin Island. Its waters are generally calm and clear.

MEDALS
The medals awarded for the invitational events of Babbage rules football, camogie, hurling, kemelilui, rugball, rugby league nines, and ultimate are different from those awarded for official events. For both designs, the name of the event and of the recipient will be inscribed on the rim of the obverse side.

CULTURE
Paripana has an anarcho-capitalist society; disputes are resolved through a polycentric system of justice. There are no taxes, import or export restrictions, passports, or prohibited drugs. The Olympic Tower and other facilities are the private property of the Paripana Sporting Council (subject to easements granted to the Olympic Council and UICA, in effect a sort of diplomatic immunity), and any athletes, team officials, reporters, spectators, or other persons found to have caused significant harm to anyone will be expelled from the premises.

Aeropag is home to many of the wealthiest buisnesspeople in Paripana, and to the millions whom they employ. The vast majority of Aeropag’s residents are fluent in English, though a significant minority speak Noterelenda as their first language. The city’s extraordinary population density lends itself to efficient mass transit, and generally only the wealthy bother with private vehicles. The coast of Aeropag Island is Paripana’s largest harbor, and goods and people go in and out via ship and seaplane.

Most Paripanans have no sense of national identity, and would not call themselevs “Paripanans” or Paripana a “nation”; they are more likely to identify with their favorite football club. Nonetheless, these may be convenient abstractions for the visiting press.

ADMINISTRATION
The I World Games are being organized by the Aeropag World Games Organizing Committee, which is an agency of the Paripana Sporting Council. The PSC itself is an association of several sporting bodies which act as equivalents to national football associations, national Olympic committees, and so on; six of these bodies have nominated athletes to compete in the Games. Each of these bodies, the most prominent of which are Capitalizt SLANI and Jasĭyun, covers the same territory, though the Lontorikanische Sportbund is more parochial than the others, operating primarily in the former nations of Lontorica and Tarraconesis. Each has many clubs affiliated to it which sponsor many sports, and athletes under contract with a club give the affiliated association the first option for selection in events such as the World Games.

In baseball, lacrosse, inline hockey, softball, Babbage rules football, camogie, hurling, kemelilui, rugball, and rugby league nines, none of the PSC’s members chose to nominate a team. As a result, the PSC selected teams on behalf of all of its members. In fin swimming, Capitalizt SLANI and Jasĭyun reached their own agreement to enter joint relay teams.

[Shofercia]

Ferris Bouler gently rocked his seat back, as the Airplane of the Shofercian Sports Ministry approached Aeropag. He looked outside the window, and saw the MiGs of the Shofercian Air Force pull up, just as they were about to enter Aeropag's Airspace. Ferris smiled. The SAF MiGs wrote "Good Luck!" in Red, White and Blue, as they let the Passenger Jet Proceed. Ferris relaxed. The flight was safe, despite his country being at war. He realized that the leaders of Shofercia knew what they were doing. Extra special care was taken in selecting the command cadre, and Shofercia's was second to none.

Despite the war, most of Shofercians continued to move on with their daily lives. The government took care to ensure that it affected civilians as little as possible. Winning the war wasn't going to be as big as struggle as winning the First World Games. Ferris knew that the expectations were high. Team Shofercia took 7th place in the Summer and Winter Olympics, being the best newbie team. The Shofercians also took 8th at the Winter Paralympics, and won the NS Winter-X Games, although the Shofercian Ice Hockey Team continued to gloriously lag behind, despite having had the most chances.

"We are approaching Aeropag. Please open all windows, as we are going to do a pass over the venues. Enjoy the aerial views!"
Ferris looked out the window.

"Aeropag is the birthplace of the modern Olympics," the voice resumed. Ferris smiled. They were getting a free aerial tour of the city. "We are currently passing the Olympic Tower, which is the tallest building in Aeropag, at 224 stories and 1 490 m tall." Ferris noticed that the Shofercian Airplane decreased its speed, yet retained a respectable altitude.

"A total of fourteen venues in the Tower will host the majority of events at these World Games, including the famed Olympic Tower Stadium, which seats 196 812 in its usual configuration. However, capacity will be reduced to 185 810 for the World Games as the stadium is returned to its original Olympic layout. The stadium is famous for hosting another fortnight-long event, the biennial Aeropag Football Invitational, in which sixteen clubs from around the world battle for trophies, gold, and other assorted goodies. It has been chosen to host finals of both the Champions’ Cup and Globe Cup, and was a venue for World Cup 51, hosted in Paripana and Septentrionia. Olympic Tower Stadium is slated to host the rugby sevens competitions, and the medal matches of American football, Australian football, baseball, Gaelic football, lacrosse, and softball. It has a retractable roof, which will be open during the ceremonies if weather permits, but closed during competition events to allow the air pressure to be increased to that at sea level."

Ferris listened with interest. He heard snoring. He quickly elbowed his partner, Ita.
"Dude, we're getting a free tour of Aeropag, and you're sleeping!"
"Yeah, well, I want to be fresh when we arrive."
"We're here!"
"Oh, crap. What'd I miss?"

[Commerce Heights]

It was an eerie feeling, walking into Olympic Tower Stadium on this night. Those who had been here before found themselves in strange surroundings, the stadium transformed from a mere football ground into a grand colosseum where great battles would be fought. Those few who had been here three decades prior could feel the aura of the Olympic Games in the structure, with the cauldron in place and all else as it was at that grandest of grand openings. Those who hadn’t were helpfully reminded of the great moments of the Games of the IV Olympiad in this building via the giant screens as the hours, minutes, and finally seconds ticked down towards the 20:00 start time.

Ke. Ἐννέα. Ocht. Siete. Sechs. Cinq. Quatro. Ses. Tese. One.
(The last word, if you must know, was the English /wʌn/, not the Noterelenda /ˈone/.)

In the six colors of the World Games, fireworks soared upward to illuminate the night sky, marking the start of a new hour and of a new era in sport.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the opening ceremony of the I World Games.

The floor of the stadium slowly lit up to reveal the image of a vast sea speckled with islands, in an arragement resembling the Jativan Islands. A single person, in ancient dress, stood on each island.

The man on the central island—presumably representing Aeropag—began a chant, speaking in a reconstruction of ancient Jativan. The others echoed his cry in English:

Oh immortal spirit, give us tools, so that we may shape the sand and soil and build a great temple in your honor!

Hammers, chisels, and axes fell from the heavens to the islands, and a humble brick temple rose from the ground in Aeropag. The ancients sang out in celebration, using all the words they knew to praise this deity. Once finished, they declared their next desire:

Oh immortal spirit, give us ships to sail the seas, so that we may gather together and hold great festivals in your honor!

Canoes rose up from the ocean, and the ancients set sail for Aeropag. As they did, the image zoomed until Aeropag was the only island on the floor. When they arrived, they sang their praises once again, and more buildings rose to form the beginnings of a city. This was not enough, though, and the ancients cried out:

Oh immortal spirit, give us a voice with which to call out to all the peoples of this Earth, so that we may spread the word of your graciousness, and every last one of them can honor you!

An orchestra of instruments appeared to wash up on shore. Their voices amplified by the resonant sounds of drums and horns, the ancients sang of their devotion for all the world to hear. From the shadows at the edges of the stadium, another group joined the number, and then a third and a fourth in harmony. They sang until they could sing no more, and by then had dreamt up a new request.

Oh immortal spirit, give us wings so that we may fly amongst the birds, visit every corner of the globe, exchange knowledge and ideas so that we may build even greater monuments to honor you!

The man who first spoke those words was lifted off the ground and began to slowly, gracefully soar through the air towards the shadows. As the other ancients played a celebratory tune on their new instruments, a woman in the shadows reciprocated by flying to Aeropag, bringing her own unique instrument to enrich their culture. The ancients then made their final request:

Oh immortal spirit, give your grace to our children and our children’s children, generation after generation; let them create ever-more-refined tools, taller ships, richer instruments, broader wings, so that they may build an even greater city that will grow for centuries as a testament to your glory!

With that, the ancients clutched their chests and fell to the ground, and their city crumbled with them. The Aeropag Symphony Orchestra began to play in somber tones, but the mood changed as the ruins were replaced by an ever-changing scene, a remarkably-detailed holographic depiction of the growth of Aeropag over the last few centuries; buildings rising and falling, the harbor spreading like wildfire along the southern coast, the leveling of the island’s few terrain features. The music built in a crescendo, reaching its climax as Heracles Island was constructed to host the first modern Olympic Games, then another crescendo for Coubertin Island and the city’s second Games. Now featuring a replica of the Olympic Tower itself (which may well have itself contained a replica of that replica, and so on) the changes slowed and the music stopped as the timeline reached the present day.

The walls of the Tower model split open like a flower and fell to the floor, sweeping away the rest of the city. The Tower opened to reveal the image of a football pitch. A teenage boy kitted out in the colors of CF Aéropag walked out to the center circle, ball in hand. He looked to the heavens and asked:

Oh immortal spirit, give us your help to quell our opposition; make their strikers slow and their center-backs rash, so that we may honor you with a great victory, perhaps with a bicycle kick in the ninetieth minute!

A disembodied voice echoed through the stadium for the first time: No!

But why not?

The voice let out a deep sigh, which gave way to an actual response: I gave your people tools, and they shaped the earth, as I did! I gave them ships, and they ruled the waves, as I can! I gave them music, and they made it resonate throughout the world, as my voice does! I gave them flight, and they colonized the sky, where I live! I made you in my image, and there is nothing more I can do for you.

But, for all you have done, we want to honor you with a victory!

If you wish to earn a victory worthy of my name, then do this: Gather the greatest athletes of the world, from all four corners of the globe, together in a single place at a single time. Let them battle against each other in the grandest of arenas, for all the world to see, until they can crown a champion. Let the athletes of every sport take part, no matter how large or small. Sing my praises in an epic spectacle to celebrate the beginning and the end of these tournaments.

The boy, satisfied by this idea, ran over towards a group of his friends on the touchline, his words seeming to echo around the world:

Hear me, hear me! I call upon the youth of the world to assemble in Aeropag, to celebrate the first World Games!

With that, the football pitch faded away and attention turned to the stadium entrance, where the athletes who had answered his call stood at the ready.

Ladies and gentelmen, the athletes of the I World Games.
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk.
(Again, if you must know, that was pronounced /æbsdɛfˌgiʤkʌlmnɑpˈkɝstʌk/.)

Ad’ihan was followed almost immediately by the Babbage Islands, who then gave way to Baltskandio. Boriem and Bostopia were but a twinkle compared to the seemingly-interminable procession of athletes from Cafundéu which followed. The confusable nations of Cahrphya and Carmadin preceded the hastily-inserted delegation of Civil Citizenry. Darmen and Ernest Pan found themselves sandwiched between the rather larger delegations of Cyborg Holland and Euskirribakondara, and then Green Jello Salad were the…sesame seeds on top? Does that metaphor work at all?

Homelands our, a nation that apparently has an even greater fear of capital letters than do French speakers, was next, followed by the familiar names of Krytenia, the Kytler Peninsulae, and Liventia. Lymantatia, though less familiar, gave viewers plenty of time to dwell on their name, and Megadia and Miley World got decent slices of air time as well. Monlyuxeburga small, Shofercia big. Sorthern Northland, Southern Cynocephali. Sportgirls were what they say on the tin, and were followed by the rather less specific Thatius. Zwangzug brought up the rear of the parade of nations, and then came the athletes of the Paripana Sporting Council’s members, entering as they did in the Games of the IV Olympiad, without flags.

Once the athletes had reached their designated area of the stadium floor, it was time for the formalities.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Chairman of the Paripana Sporting Council, Pabla Markuëiä.
(“Chairman” is used here in a gender-neutral sense, as is sometimes done in formal Paripanan English, most notably as part of the Aeropag Tribune’s house style.)

Mrs Markuëiä gave her speech thanking the Aeropag World Games Organizing Committee, the volunteers, their moms, et cetera, ad nauseam, and spoke about what a fantastic opportunity the World Games will be for athletes in non-Olympic sports, spectators, coaches, sportswriters looking for a way out of reporting on one of a dozen random football tournaments held in obscure nations at any given time, the PSC in showing once again how much more awesome it is than all the silly nationalists…okay, maybe those last two parts weren’t in the speech. And finally, it is my pleasure to welcome to the stage our special guest, and my esteemed colleague from the Comitê Olímpico Cafundelense—please give a round of applause for the President of the Olympic Council, Mr Marcos Gusmão Mentor.

President Mentor proceeded to speak about the rich Olympic tradition of Aeropag, the World Games being an extension of the Olympic spirit, and his pleasure of being invited by the PSC to preside over another opening ceremony so soon after the Games of the VI Olympiad in Lasft, Cafundéu. And now, I declare open the I World Games of Aeropag.

Dozens of fireworks celebrated the moment. Once this thunder subsided, the Aeropag Symphony Orchestra, now assembled on the stadium floor, played the familiar fanfare (to some people, anyway) of the Olympic Anthem. A small army of flagbearers emerged from the tunnel, in a single-file procession of the Olympic flag, the new World Games flag, the flag of the I World Games, and the flag of the Paripana Sporting Council (which stood out just a bit, being the only flag in the queue which was purple instead of white). As the flags slowly and steadily approached the poles for which they were destined, the spotlight shone on the Greek Choir of Querzakhi, who began the vocal section of the Anthem in Greek, standing opposite the orchestra. Two lines in, a change of voice and of language, as spotlight shifted to the Koródie Múrlire Éropegem, taking over in Noterelenda. They gave way to the Cafundelense businessmen of the Coral dos Corretores da Bovacaf, singing in Portuguese, and followed by the French of the Grand Island Youth Choir from Ad’ihan. The local Coubertin Island Choristers sang their part in English—As tomorrow’s new champions now come forth… Then, the white spotlights gave way to the colors of the World Games, revealing the five choirs and orchestra in the logo’s “W” pattern. They joined the English verse in unison: And let fraternity and fellowship / Surround the soul of every nation! / Oh flame, eternal in your firmament so bright… The Olympic cauldron suddenly burst into a fiery orange. …Illuminate us with your everlasting light! / That grace and beauty and magnificence! A fireball rose as more fuel poured into the cauldron. Shine like the sun / Blazing above / Bestow on us your honor, truth and love!

This was the cue for the main fireworks display of the night, lasting some five minutes. The ceremony finished with a slate of performances by some of Paripana’s most popular singers, and another round of fireworks capping off the event. Now, for the next fourteen days, it is the athletes’ turn to perform.

[Darmen]

Reigning Babbage Rules Champions set to dominate at World Games

The same team that defeated ABK 54-8 in the Finals of the Mcleod Cup, is now set to do very well in Aeropag.

Day One of competition will see Darmen face Megadia. Darmen, the #1 team in the world, will win easily against lonely Megadia, who are ranked 31st. Day Two will see Darmen beat up on #29 Green Jello Salad. On Day Three, Darmen will play their first real test, against 24th ranked Kytler Peninsulae, who were a real suprise at the latest Mcleod Cup. On Day Five, Darmen will face Lymantatia, who don't even seem to be included in the rankings. We expect a huge upset in this game. Day Six will see Darmen playing in the semifinals, save for if they lose dramaticly several times in the Group Stage. Day Seven will then see Darmen playing in either the Gold or Bronze medal games.

Overall, the Darmeni Babbage Rules Team is looking forward to an easy time at the World Games in the sport of Babbage Rules.

[Homelands our]

Homelands our day 1

The only event that homelands our will compete in on day 1 is roller speed skating
But with Finals in all events they hope for their 1st gold of the 1st world games.


hanna syer who will compete in the 300m time trial took an interview in the morning "well of course I what to win the gold,we all do but I would be happy with bronze it's our first international event so anything would be great" when asked on the plane diversion from 2 days ago "they should have got a newer plane,but look we're here that's all that matters yes the goof players are a bit jet-lagged but they will be ok" also when asked on a bid by homelands our for the next world games "this is the first I've heard of this and I just can't see it happening well not the next ones anyway"

James Hamilton who will compete in the 1000m points & elimination also had his voice heard this morning "points and elimination is easy its the length that makes this hard hopefully I will win,that's not a joke that's how we all think" hLO tv asked him to comment on jet lag "it was hard sitting in ceator all day,but now let's go and get some gold"

President grieve today today said some words on the plane diversion "it was most disappointing that homelands our's first world games got of to a terrible start" but also said that it might be a good omen "you talk about omens start off always good if it starts off bad then it can only climb up the hill oh and we will gat a new plane"


Blue sports news done a hour long special on the world games
The way they have it down is us coming about 20th with a few gold but mostly silver and bronze. Golf is our best sport according to them but we will come last (or there a bouts) in Boule lyonnaise.

[Southern Cynocephali]

www.tcn.com.scy/sports/misc/IWorldGames

---

---

A new hour, a new era
-Olivia Royette

The First World Games got underway in spectacular fashion atop the Cathedral of Sport in Aeropag last night, with a display that was truly divinely inspired. Athletes were welcomed by a packed stadium, who witnessed an entertaining opening ceremony which was packed full of music, performance and culture. Capped off with an impressive fireworks display, all 185,000 people in attendance ended the night with smiles on their faces.

The delegation from Southern Cynocephali were lead by flag bearer, Josée Barrier, the leading player in the women's Boules Sports doubles pair. Team captain Lars Blanc followed just behind, with his two younger brothers Sebastien and Hervé beside him. Lars Blanc, seen by many as a controversial choice as team captain, was visbily proud to be there in Aeropag with his brothers. The long time marijuana advocate and big-wave surfer has been caught partying at nightclubs in Indica recently and will hopefully keep out of trouble while overseas. Whether the presence of his brothers is beneficial or detrimental is yet to be seen.

The first day holds limited action for Cynoceph fans, although the men's Australian Football team will be in action for their first international match against The Babbage Islands. How they will perform is anyones guess; it will be interesting to see how the team adapts to the unique facilities of Tristiano Droga Arena.

Tune into Cysports One every night at 7:00pm (Rushmori Island Time) to catch the latest highlights and commentary from the First World Games!

[Euskirribakondara]

Monko-Xokareak Tantxa
The program to be broadcasted throughout the I World Games
With Ulía Nestegarridia and Armán Vonok

ARMÁN (Without being seen on screen)= Well, finally Euskirribakondara was first in something. This nations was the first one to announce its sign-up, its athletes, its roster, etc. We are part of the group of nations that started something to be remembered for the generations to come: the WORLD GAMES.
ULÍA = You may remember us from Olimpikiren Tantxa, the program that broadcasted the Olympics this year. We're back
ARMÁN = These are the First "Monko-Xokareak" as we say in Euskal.... or "Jócs del Món" in Aranes.
ULÍA = Doesn't matter which language you speak, I think we're all happy for being here.
ARMÁN = Yes we are! Yes we are!
ULÍA = (Please don't do that on screen..... there's people watching)... Anyway, yesterday we had the Inauguration.
ARMÁN = Quite a way to work with lights on the floor... just amazing
ULÍA = The chants to God, etc. All pretty good. Nothing failed, and everyone was amazed at our so big squad.
ARMÁN = Out of the more than 240 million of inhabitants, a lot are sportsmen. That's why EUS will always be big.
ULÍA = And there's something new... Monlyuxeburga, the Right-wing utopia of our region is participating.
ARMÁN = Their culture is interesting... Black Capitalist people.
ULÍA = That sounded a bit racist.
ARMÁN = Well..... I don't want to go down that road, so let's talk about who's competing today.
ULÍA = As you know, we are in EVERYTHING. But, today we'll just have 8 medal events.
ARMÁN = Is there skating?
ULÍA = Of course!
ARMÁN = The medal events today, are basically on Rhytmic Gymnastics and Roller Speed Skating.
ULÍA = But, our national teams of American football, Australian football, Baseball, Gaelic Football, Korfball, Hurling and Babbage Rules Football are playing today.
ARMÁN = The events on Gymnastics are: Men's Ball, Men's Ribbons, Women's Hoop and Women's Rope.
ULÍA = And there we have.... Nuka Davitalyan (100) and Aurel Agaresta (0) on the men's events. And, Bubu Nidimania (99) and Bizi Bokoak (0) on the women's events.
ARMÁN = Who knows? Maybe Nuka or Bubu may be the first Euskal medalists.
ULÍA = Let's hope so.
ARMÁN = And now we'll see Roller speed skating, something we wanted to see at the Olympics.
ULÍA = Well, we love Roller Speed Skating in Euskirribakondara. Let's hope it is our strength here.
ARMÁN = The events will be: Men’s 300 m time trial, Men’s 10000 m points & elimination, Women’s 300 m time trial and Women’s 10000 m points & elimination.
ULÍA = And there the athletes are: Haur LESMES (100), Haritz OTERO (98), Mikel SASTARÍ (99), Dau DEMORZADE (5), Kneri JALKONÚN (0) in the men's events.
ARMÁN = Well, we're hoping for a Lesmes-Otero-Sastarí podium here. It could happen.
ULÍA = Haha! Let's say we can. Anyway.... On the women's events we have Alía BAENA (100), Balentina TXABES (99), Xon GORODOROAN (98), Sonia LEIROLOASIM (5) and Ikea BOKSLE (0); and there, there we'll have the podium. We, the women are the best.
ARMÁN = I say the medals will be on the men's events.
ULÍA = I say the medals will be on the women's events...... let's make it a bet.
ARMÁN= But of how much? (I don't have enough money to survive in Aeropag)
ULÍA = Haha! See? You're scared because you know I'm right.
ARMÁN = I'm not scared..... 50 Diner di Solèr? Agree?
ULÍA = That's like 63 U$ Dollars, you sure?
ARMÁN = MORE THAN SURE.
ULÍA = Well friends. This is the end of this sneak-peek, we'll see you next time. And you'll see how I win 63 dollars. Bye!

(EUSK1 goes back to normal schedule)

[Commerce Heights]

Day 1 results are now (finally) up.

[Euskirribakondara]

Monko-Xokareak Tantxa
The program to be broadcasted throughout the I World Games
With Ulía Nestegarridia and Armán Vonok

The set is highly decorated, a big poster of Nuka Davitalyan is on the background. The presenters have party hats, and confetti on their hair, etc.... You can notice that they partied

ARMÁN = And again we're first..... We're now first in the SCOREBOARD!
ULÍA = Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARMÁN = You cannot advertise any webpage here.
ULÍA = It was a 'yahoo' of happiness. Duh!
ARMÁN = Well... let's go back to what we said: WE'RE FIRST!
ULÍA = We have 2 Golds, 2 Bronzes... And Armán, 63 U$D less.
ARMÁN = The bet was the podium, and no podium happened.
ULÍA = But women made a gold, you guys made a bronze. PAY ME!
ARMÁN = But... uh... Damn it!
ULÍA = If you want, we can bet for tomorrow...
ARMÁN = In the next show, when you talk about the athletes.... we'll see.
ULÍA = Well, the honors go to Nuka Davitalyan, Euskal Armenian, Gymnast (Gorgeous by the way).
ARMÁN = He participated in two events, and in both he achieved medals.
ULÍA = Bronze in Men's Ball, Gold in Men's Ribbons.
ARMÁN = The Gymnastics Arena was packed with Euskal fans, and they sure had a great show!
ULÍA = But with women, we had the "Olympic History", in which we finish 4th or 5th.
ARMÁN = Bubu was first in the Qualifying round of Women's Hoop, but finished 5th.
ULÍA = And on Women's rope, she was second in the Qualifying round, and finished 6th.
ARMÁN = The same thing happened for women on Speed Skating, isn't it?
ULÍA = Don't start a gender war. You know I'll win. But yes, "Olympic History" again on Speed Skating. Alía Baena 3rd and Xon Gorodoroan 1st in the qualifiers. And, on the final, Xon finished 1st (OUR gold!) And Aía 10th. And for 10000 m points & elimination, Xon Gorodoroan finished 4th, and Ikea Boskle 5th. What about men? HAHA!
ARMÁN = On Men’s 300 m time trial just Haritz Otero qualified being 12th, and in the final he was 8th.
ULÍA =And what about Men’s 10000 m points & elimination? Haha!
ARMÁN = Yes, I have to accept it. We were 1st, 3d and 4th in the qualifying round; and we finished 3rd, 4th and 10th in the final. .


Ignore the BEL, and think of it as an 'EUS'

ULÍA = Haha!.... But thanks to Haritz Otero for his bronze.
ARMÁN = Here's the scoreboard (with just the medal-winning nations), organized (with country names in Euskal):

POS       COUNTRY            G  S  B      T
1° Euskirribakondara         2  0  2      4
2° Xoferzia                  1  2  1      4
3° Kafundéu                  1  2  0      3
4° Ziborg Nederlanda         1  1  1      3
4° Jasijun                   1  1  1      3
6° Akademikren Asosiatoa     1  0  0      1
6° SLANI Kapitaloa           1  0  0      1
8° Kraitinia                 0  2  1      3
9° Limanteixa                0  0  2      2

ULÍA = See it? Even by total medals, we're winning. I know Harrikes is in an autumn carnival.
ARMÁN = And, in team sports we're doing SO well.
ULÍA = Check this out: On Men's American Football (Group B) the score we had was: Lymantatia 3–26 Euskirribakondara. Therefore, we're leading in the group table.
ARMÁN = On Men's Australian Football (Group D) there were no fixtures today.
ULÍA = On Women's Australian Football (Group C), we won Cafundéu and were defeated by Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk, so with 4 points, we qualified to the final group draw. Where we're on Group A with Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk and Lymantatia.
ARMÁN= On Men's Baseball we're on group D in which Civil Citizenry won over Darmen, but we haven't played (as Ad'ihan, so they'll be our "enemies" next time).
ULÍA = On Men's Gaelic Football we're on group C with Boriem and CYborg Holland, but we didn't play.
ARMÁN = On Korfball, we were defeated by Cahrphya, so we're not qualifying (yet).
ULÍA = And that's all the events of today.
ARMÁN = In the invitationals we won our match on Babbage Rules Football (therefore we advance to the top of the table), and on Hurling we defeated Paripana (which is why we received a bit of booing) and we'll go to Quarterfinals.
ULÍA = A lot of info, isn't it? See you tomorrow, on our next broadcast. Apparently, we'll have on the weekends interviews with the athletes.

(EUSK1 goes back to normal schedule)

[Zwangzug]

ABOMINABLE SNOWMEN REPORT--MATCHDAY 1

HOW THEY SCORED:

Second quarter, 4:13 remaining: Henriksen pass to Ishiss (WR) in endzone, kick by McElkniv missed
Third quarter, 7:02 remaining: Run from Beermonza, kick by McElkniv successful

HOW THE OTHER THEY SCORED:

First quarter, 9:18 remaining: pass into endzone, kick good
First quarter: 3:14 remaining: field goal
Second quarter, 10:34 remaining: pass and run, kick good
Third quarter, 1:16 remaining: field goal
Fourth quarter, 8:23 remaining: run, kick good
Fourth quarter, 1:53 remaining: pass and run, kick good

WEATHER: Very hot. No precipitation.

SUBJECTIVE LIKELIHOOD OF ELIMINATION BEFORE POSSIBILITY OF EXPULSION FROM OLYMPIC TOWER: 80.1% (place bets with Mira)

OTHER SPORTS ROUNDUP:

Rhythmic gymnastics competitions, a potentially-entertaining sport that involves using specific items to do things with, began today. Fortunately for all parties concerned, the club events are not being held at the World Games, sparing everyone the ignominy of watching Zwangzugians who refuse to wear dumb-looking uniforms and instead just want to show off and juggle. We think that there probably should be some nice puns to go with the impressive silver-medal winning performance of Artem Rytmichnuy, but none of us have worked out how to pronounce his name.

[Miley World]

New York Times

Miley World at the 1 world games!

American Football
Miley World's football team did pretty good, the Untamed Robots won 13-10. Miley World's only touchdown came in the 3rd quarter when Nick Walker passed to Anthony Rice. Miley World also made two field goals.

Game summary

1st quarter
(THA): 46 yards field goal with 8:21 remaining

2nd quarter
(MIL): 29 yards field goal with 2:46 remaining

3rd quarter
(MIL): Nick Walker pass to Anthony Rice (14 yards pass) with 9:28 remaining (extra point good)
(MIL): 43 yards field goal with 3:41 remaining

4th quarter
(THA): 36 yards pass with 2:19 remaining (extra point good)

Final score
Miley World 13
Thatius 10

Individual sports

Some of our athletes did pretty good. Lee Joo-Hyun, a Seoul native, finished 6th in the women's hoop, which I think it's the best score so far by an individual athlete from Miley World. I've tried to interview her after the event but she only speaks Korean so I couldn't. In some kind of roller skating sports, some French dude finished 16th. I haven't tried to interview him cuz I don't like Frenchies. And then Renata Gomes finished 8th in some other skating thing which is good. She's brazilian so she looks kinda sexy so I was too shy to interview her. These individual competitions are kinda boring so at the end of the day I've watched a babbage thing game between Megadia and Darmen. I had no idea whats that babbage thing and I think i've enjoyed it. It looks like some american football with both guys and girls. We should have this sport here in Miley World.

[Shofercia]

"Welcome to Channel 7, the heart of Shofercian Sports. Today we bring you live coverage of the First World Games, and what a wonderful day this has been! A real blessing!"
"Indeed"
"Why are you going all Teal'C on me?"
"Indeed"
"Well at least you think we did good, right?"
"Indeed O'Neill"
"Tom, can you behave at least when we're on television?"
"But when I misbehave, we get ratings! Besides, everyone in Shofercia is a bit naughty, dontcha know?"
"If I wasn't in such a good mood Tom, I'd knock you over the head with something-"
"Like the Gibbs slap on DiNozzo? OUCH!"

"Thank you for the suggestion. Can we focus now?"
"Geez Sally O'Neill. Fine, fine."
"In Aussie Football, or Footy, The Eagles defeated Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk, and taken the lead in the preliminary group. Why do I get to pronounce all the hard names, Mr. Brakeouch?"
"Beats me. I thought you were saying the alphabet, can ya sing it next time?"
"Thanks Tom. I'll try. Meanwhile, congratulations to our Footy Women's Team - who dominated their group, and are now in the top six. You go girls!"
"In Gaelic Football, the Eagles were defeated by Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk. Did they get enough sleep?"
"Oh hey, it's nice to hear you signing the alphabet, Tom!"
"Seriously though - what was that on the field?"
"Hey, you win some, you lose some. In Men's Ball, the ballsy Artem Rytmichnuy, not only qualified, but took the Silver Medal for Team Shofercia. Go Artem!"
"He's definetely a winner! As is Zhanna Darkova - who gave Team Shofercia our very fist Gold Medal!"
"And in Korfball, Team Shofercia dominated Jasĭyun, 24-12. Well done guys!"
"And girls!"
"Of course. Women - can't live without them, who'd do all the cooking?"

"Tom are you single?"
"Yes"
"That just explained so much!"
"Thank you for making me feel awkward Sally!"
"It's my job!"
"Indeed"
"Meanwhile in Men's 10 kilometer Speed Skating, Michael Minery captured the Silver Medal!"
"Go Mike!"
"And in Women's 10 kilometer Speed Skating, Dahlia Hamalak captured the Bronze Medal!"
"Go Dahlia, you certainly ain't black, girl!"
"And we'd like to remind the non-Shofercian viewers that it was Tom's awkward reference to the movie, the Black Dahlia, and has nothing to do with race"
"Why you gotta discriminate Sally? Non-Shofercians will understand that we ain't racist in Shofercia. Racism sucks, it's counter to education, and anything that's counter to education - sucks. Everyone knows that - duh!"
"Thank you Mr. Brakeouch"
"Aren't you going to call me Captain Obvious?"
"More like Captain Oblivious to our ratings after this program!"

"Nah, they're going to take up my "Black Dahlia" comment"
"Our "Black Dahlia" comment!"
"Yes ma'am!"
"Meanwhile, here's what to watch tomorrow: The Shofercian Eagles will start the day off with a baseball match against The Kytler Peninsulae, so get up bright and early!"
"I know I won't!"
"Tom, you actually going to announce anything?"
"I'm being the stereotypical man - lazy!"
"In Gymnastics, Artem Rytmichnuy will have another shot for the Gold Medal; he came close with the Silver Medal today! Zhanna Darkova will have to repeat her success!" *knock on wood*
"Indeed"
"In Korfball, Team Shofercia will battle Megadia, and Tom if you say "indeed" again, I am going to Gibbs-smack you"
"Is that an official term now? Gibbs-smack? OUCH!"
"Don't miss the exciting Roller-Speed Skating events, and the premier of Shofercia's Tug of War Team!"
"Why are we promoting violence on TV, Sally O'Neal?"
"Violence?"
"You keep on hitting me. That's violence! Aren't we into sports, to prevent violence?"
"How so?"

"Well if we're violent in sports, we'll get it all out of our system, and won't have to be violent anymore. Plus rough sports are fun! Want to join me for Karate Training later tonight?"
"Sure, although something tells me that I'm going to regret this!"

[Homelands our]

You done it but no reward
With 5th place the highest for day1 homelands our can only hope for Better tomorrow
Roller speed skating being the best chance for gold.
Blue sports news
The WGSL on blue sports 1 did not go down well in homelands our partly because of no medals but also for the team being slated for being a disgrace to homelands our.

In response to this the delegation said "we are shocked that our own people would say this about us we would like them to come out and try the world games to kwon what pressures the most they done was the ADURSSCL" near the end for a 45 minute speech " after what has happened on WCSL we would like to ask CRO to move the rights of the 1st world games to HTVC "

CRO confirmed "after a request from HLO we have looked into the events of yesterday and ban WGSL and move the rights of the 1st world games to HTVC"

A HTVC statement "we are delighted to have live coverage of the 1st world games but ar also shocked at what happened on BlueS1 ok they only came 5th it's day1 13 more days plenty of time to change that"

Blue sports said "we can't control what happens on live tv no editing time nothing but we will start an inquiry to find out exactly what happened"

Look out for homelands our (HLO) on day 2

[Commerce Heights]

Day 2 results are now up.

[Miley World]

New York Times

1 World Games - day 2

by Bobby Miller

Well today (yesterday if you read it tomorrow) was the 2nd day of the 1 World games. It was kinda boring as there wasn't any american football games so I've seen some individual competitions. There was this cute Korean girl again, her name is Lee Joo-Hyun, but she failed to qualify for the ball and ribbons things. And some girl named Bubu from a country wiff a weird name got the silver medal. Then there was some roller skating again, it's more entertaining than that ribbons and ball thing to be honest. There's this Smiler guy again, Fernando something. He finished 3rd of his heat and made the final, where he finished dead last - he only made 12 laps. He must be related to Tony Romo I fink. There's another Smiler who made the final in another roller skating race, her name is Jessica Gillies, but she also finished dead last. I've interviewed her (yeah finally I've interviewed someone after failing at it on day 1):

"Well I don't know what happened in the final race, I was pretty confident I can make the top 5. I think I've choked, I don't know how to explain that. I don't know what else to say, i'm not proud of myself."

Tomorrow we have some american football again but Miley World has a bye. We still have some roller skating again, I hope we'll do well, and our softball team will play it's first game, against the Kytler Peninsula. And there will be some Tug of War thing, I have no idea what is that, maybe I should go watch it?

[Cafundeu]

ENROLADOR DE PEIXE
The daily newspaper with the news that others don't show

---

The World Games have started, with the monotone tone of voice of our Olympic director and Olympic Council President Marcos Mentor opening the games, which was one of the low points of the opening ceremony since we had tons of exciting performances and history details in comparison. The first two days of the event have brought in general the first matchdays of some team events, roller speed skating and the second most awaited sport in Cafundéu for these World Games: rhythmic gymnastics, which is less followed only by the boules sports in general.

In the team events, the Cafundelenses shocked the world, and shocked themselves, with two specific wins. First in Baseball, a sport which most Cafundelenses know nothing about, and even some players have doubts about how it works, just as Plínio, who did a good job with the bat, commented: "The coach just said, hit that ball the farthest you can, so I did that! I didn't want to ask him why I should do that, I believe he knows this stuff better than I." We presume that the Paripana athletes were just the same, as the Cafundéu team was able to take a good win versus them. "It was fun to win, and something that has already made all our World Games experience worthwhile... we have exceeded our expectations", commented the coach Jorge. The other good win was for the women's Gaelic Football team versus Krytenia. In this case, the players know well the sport, but a survey with some supporters proved that they do not: "Well, I just had to trust what the commentator was saying... but for many times he had to ask his assistant what was happening."

But, to the main point of these first two days of the event. The rhythmic gymnastics events were the biggest hopes of many medals for the Cafundelenses. Seem as favourites thanks to the good performance of the women in the Olympic Games, as the country won gold and silver in the individual event, the COC worked hard in order to ensure that the male athletes would have good chances of winning medals and challenging for the top spot, even though they do not have as much tradition as the women. But then appeared the competition from Euskirribakondara, with excellent gymnasts. In the first day, it seemed that, although two gold medals went to Cyborg Holland and Shofercia, Cafundéu and Euskirribakondara would fight for the gold medals in the events for both genders, probably dividing the gold medals in them. Well, in the second day this has really happened, but not exactly as some people expected. In the end, it was proved that the Cafundelense women were really the best rhythmic gymnasts in the World Games, while the men weren't as good and ended being easily defeated by the Euskirribakondara ones.

The men suffered with the lack of experience at a higher level, even with the good standards of training and the talent of the athletes, and ended with three silver medals. One of the medallists, Alex Pittson, known for his arrogant attitude, commented: "Cafundéu didn't win any gold medals in the male rhythmic gymnastics because our level of competition was higher than the one the women faced. Just check my scores. If I were a girl, I would have won the gold." Pittson didn't want to confirm nor deny the possibility of a sex change for the next Olympics or World Games. As for the women, they were brilliant. In Cafundéu millions of people watched their performances, for different reasons: some because they knew that the Cafundelenses were set for medals so they wanted to commemorate, some because they enjoy the sport, some because they practice the sport and wanted to spot any mistakes of the athletes, some because they didn't have much else to do at that time, and some because they considered the athletes beautiful and graceful. Whatever the reason, they surely didn't regret watching the events. Cafundéu won three golds, one silver and two bronze medals. Six medals of twelve available, and six medals from a maximum total of eight that the country could get, since there were only two athletes from the nation in each event.

Aryelle Ayumi was the first to win a medal, easily staying in front of other six competitors but being unable to challenge the winner from Shofercia. Then on the rope, the least popular event of rhythmic gymnastics in Cafundéu, Luana Ribeiro won the gold. With the ball, Daniela Arcoverde gave no chances for her opponents, by finishing at first in both the qualification round and in the final. Ana Clara Polster ended with the bronze, even being more experienced than Daniela, who is seen as the biggest talent of Cafundéu in gymnastics right now. And finally, with the ribbons, a similar situation: Fernanda Sabino dominated the event and finished with the gold, and once again in front of another more experienced Cafundelense who got the bronze: but this time, the other athlete's name was Letícia França, who is simply the current gold medallist of the Olympic Games. Sabino expressed her surprise in having a better score than França: "Oh... my... you know, Letícia won the gold medal in the Olympics... in the last Olympics, just months ago... and she had won before, other gold medals... she is a legend for all of us younger girls... this is so surprising, I think I'm going to faint... (10 seconds after, after she had breathed hard and recovered herself) ... well, take this Letícia, I am better than you!"

[Zwangzug]

Sound bit(e)s: quote from silver medalists, the Zwangzug men's 680 kg tug-of-war team!

Benson Schler: Huh. I wasn't really sure where we stood in the grand scheme of things but I think at this level, you can't always go by what people say. This was a tight competition but obviously we pulled through--literally, I mean.
Kevin Jurie: Woo! It is a great honor to be one of the best at this. Someone remind me what a kilogram is again.
Thom Mavar-Jurk: It's really cool to hang out in Aeropag, the trains are very slick.
Gil Flori: Benson, you said it was just going to be a short pep talk on our way to the park. Next time remind me exactly how long that elevator ride is, again. Not that I'm complaining.
Nico Hoefflie: I was a little nervous facing our second-round opponents, they'd come in off the bye. Then again, it was a long day for pretty much everyone who went far enough, so really getting tired out didn't make a difference in the grand scheme of things.
Dwight Kosla-Kirnan: Did we just have a tug-of-war? At these World Games things. I think we're actually going to get medals for this.
Fabian Voslin: Hard to believe that's the only large team the Francophone Association assembled all by itself! Maybe if they'd--what am I saying, they won. Good game. Match? Thing.
Koj Lafferti: For an insistence on no ice or snow sports these medals kind of look like snowflakes. It's cool!

[Shofercia]

Alena was excited - it was her family's first trip outside of Shofercia - and they were going to the First World Games in Aeropag, Jativan Archipelago, as part of the roughly 100,000 Shofercian Fan Army. The team's mission: do well. The fans' mission: GET LOUD, BE PROUD! And she was going to fulfill that to the fullest.

"Mom, is it a safe country?" Alena asked. She was 18. Naturally she wanted to go out.
"It's reasonably safe. Remember your karate lessons, if you get into trouble. Yes, you can go out, but be careful!"
"Tell me a bit about Aeropag?"
"It's a major seaport in the Jativan Archipelago - its fame came from hosting the First Olympic Games. It's has tourist venues, but it's also heavily industrial. So be careful. Always have your cell phone on you, and report every thirty minutes."
"Mom!"
"Ok, fine, every sixty minutes, and I'm not backing down from that!"
"Fine!"
"It's an island nation, similar to our own. And Alena, your mother's right. Report in every hour."

Alexey and Lena, dad and mom, exchanged worried glances. They were both military, and they remember their first night out in a foreign country. Eeek! Alexey was a submariner, and they were on shore leave. They walked into a bar, 12 men, half the crew, and ordered drinks. Then some local said something, and next thing they knew, everyone in the bar was beaten up, except the Shofercians, and they were running to their submarine, half the town chasing them. The next day, Shofercia's Diplomats issued apologies and paid compensations. Damn those drinks were strong!

"Alena, watch what you drink. The local stuff might be a bit meaner than what we have at home."
"Yeah right" Alena chuckled.
"Still, be careful, one drink at a time."

Lena had her memories as well. She was a fighter pilot. She got her first vacation, and had a decent amount of money to spend with her wingmates in CS. After numerous bars, they managed to find a sexist bar, probably the only one in the city. Lena didn't take too kindly to that, and promptly kneed the jerk in the nuts. This led to a situation similar to Alexey's. And here they were, sending out their daughter, alone, to see Aeropag nightlife.

Alena wasn't worried. She was worried about how the Shofercian Team might perform, knowing the pressure that they were under. As for nightlife - she did a bit of research, and found that nightlife was the virtually the same in most countries. Aeropag was an island-city, similar to Shofercian cities. It was industrial, and yet attracted tourists - a unique combination.

After watching the games, and screaming her voice off, Alena headed towards the nearest tavern.
"Hey, I'd like the local beer"
"How old are you?" responded the bartender
Alena showed her ID.
"What would you like?"
"Strongest local stuff please"
"Please? You're polite in a bar" a local boy teased
"I'm Shofercian" Alena responded nonchalantly. The boys had to take a couple hits to get her attention
"Is that the crazy Centrist Country?" the local answered
Alena laughed. "Wow, someone knows something"
The boy chuckled: "Just cause we're capitalizt, doesn't mean we're all money grubbers"
"That's true. So, you're only 90 percent money grubbers?"
"Ouch! Well I guess I'm part of the 10 percent"
"Awwww, a minority" Alena said, half-mockingly, half-teasingly.
The local was nervous. His favorite song was coming up. And somehow Alena knew.
"Wanna dance?" she asked him.

Alena came back home late that night. Alexey and Lena were still up. They returned from partying only a few minutes ago, and Alena was their first kid to return.

"We've been waiting for-"
"Mom, cut it out. I can see that you just came home. Dad's jacket is about to fall, and he never hangs it like that if he's in a hurry"
"So, how was your night?" asked the father.
"It was great. I found a local tavern, partied, danced, then we walked along the docks, and then we walked back home. How was your night out?"
"Wait - no fighting, just regular night out, like in Shofercia?"
"Yeah, pretty much" Alena nodded.
"Kids these days," Alexey grumbled, half-jokingly.
"Yeah, what stories will they tell their kids" Lena said, playing along.
"Well we also ran into the local boxing section, and kicked their butts, but that was rather boring" Alena teased.
"She's getting good at teasing" Alexey noted.
"Anyways, I'm going to sleep. Hopefully tomorrow our team will perform like they did during their first day, not today. Night guys!" And with that Alena kissed her parents, and was off to bed.

[Commerce Heights]

Day 3 results are now up.

[Miley World]

New York Times

Day 3 at the 1 World Games - Miley World won a medal!

By Bobby Miller

Today's been a good day for Miley World at the 1 World Games, we won a bronze medal! It's some Spanish or Mexican girl by the name of Isabella Rodriquez who won it. I've interviewed her, you can read the interview at the end of this article. Today it was some speed skating, we had three guys in it, but they all didn't made the quarter finals. We also had three girls. One lost in the eight finals, one in the quarter finals, and Isabella Rodriguez won the bronze medal! I was yelling "Go Isabella, go Isabella!" in the press box during the final and two journalists - one from Shofercia and one from the Kytler Peninsulae - were telling me to shut up. It was a pretty good moment for Miley World, it's our first medal in an international event!

And well, there was some american football games today but Miley World had a bye. In our group Shofercia beat Bostopia 10-6. The scores are pretty low in this group, it proves all these four countries (including Miley World) have a good defense. We play against Bostopia on day 5 and Shofercia will play against Thatius. Let's hope Thatius beat Shofercia since we already beat Thatius.

We also had some softball and Miley World won 1-0. The only run came in the 2nd inning. Denika Bogosian scored the run when Lesley Peters hitted the ball between the 3rd base and the short stop. Sarah-Belle Rojas, Julia Lopez and Ishiko Ako didn't allowed a run. Rojas got the win and Ako got the save.

And as promised i've also watched some tug of war thing and I had no idea what it is. It's two teams and they all pulling on a rope and the team that didn't fell won. I've seen some competitions like that by the past but I didn't know it's called tug of war, and well some country called Shofercia won the gold in the men category while Capitalizt SLANI won in the women category.

Well, tomorrow we're gonna have some bowling and some gymnastics. Hopefully Miley World is gonna win another medal!

And here's the interview with Isabella Rodriguez:

"OMG OMG!!! I can't believe I won a medal! I prayed to God before the race and then I was concentrated during it and I wanted only one thing: to win that race. I think God helped me, because I won the bronze medal and I couldn't have won it if he didn't helped me, so thanks to him!"

[Zwangzug]

ABOMINABLE SNOWMEN REPORT--MATCHDAY 2

HOW THEY SCORED:

First quarter, 1:52 remaining: Run from Pallesen, kick by McElkniv missed
Second quarter, 4:32 remaining: Henriksen pass to Ishiss and run, kick by McElkniv successful
Fourth quarter, 11:34 remaining: McNeitterg recovers a fumble and scores, kick by McElkniv missed

HOW THE OTHER THEY SCORED:

Second quarter, 8:49 remaining: Hareeven pass to Simesi, kick by Blunte successful
Third quarter, 3:52 remaining: Olvos run, kick by Blunte successful

WEATHER: Actually quite hot. A few clouds.

SUBJECTIVE LIKELIHOOD OF ELIMINATION BEFORE POSSIBILITY OF EXPULSION FROM OLYMPIC TOWER: 65.7% (place bets with Mira)

OTHER SPORTS ROUNDUP:

Softball fans baffled by preponderance of shutouts (a few softball fans baffled by exclusion of men's game, but this is certainly good news as far as Zwangzug is concerned). The Babbage Islands probably demonstrate how far their homegrown code of football has come, or something. Kerlagrad Courier sportswriters vigorously debate significance of men's tug of war being held outside versus women's inside, and also debate whether entire pretense of tug of war competition is some kind of euphemism for something. Various drafts include quotation marks on, variously, "pull," "rope," "Joint," "Olympic," "SLANI," "Olympic," "Zwangzug," and "war;" final version just spells it "tug o' war" with an "o'."