World Cup 55 RP Thread

by **Jeruselem** » Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:13 pm

Jeruselem coach Kat Kool with relative "Kate" Kool in the team after a home win against Ocel0t

Kate: Well, that was hard work.
Kat: They never gave up, some teams just stop trying but they didn't.
Kate: The big different being the team skill levels.
Kat: They didn't have the creative skill to break us down.
Kate: But we also have solid but plucky defense.
Kat: People don't talk a lot about our defense but it's our key to success last few cups
Kate: I don't like playing against cats.
Kat: Why is that? They seemed decent people, even the cats in the team.
Kate: I'm a dog person.
Kat: I guess one is a cat or dog person but not both.
Kate: Unless it's Rufus, he eats cats and dogs.
Kat: Hey, only for Tv.
Kate: This is pretty young.
Kat: We can't have too many oldies in the team. We need get new talent on the field like ... yourself.
Kate: How come Jeru FC are different??
Kat: I don't know, ask the army.
Kate: I guess army guys are ... expendable in the end.
Kat: Yes, that's the brutal truth about the army.
Kate: We were lucky they didn't score a goal. They could have a few times.
Kat: The role of defense is to stop this, that's why we won.
Kate: The scoreline is a bit flattering to us really.
Kat: Admittedly, it could be like 4-2 but it isn't.
Kate: We're doing alright anyway.
Kat: I see Jeru FC finally won a game.
Kate: About time, they are ranked above us.
Kat: They'll get better. It's a new team they have.
Kate: One of them is Nazi, we wouldn't have such a person in this team.
Kat: The army is full of weird people.

by **Rumbipura** » Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:36 pm

RUMBIPURA ECHO-TIMES-ECHO

On the road with the Firendli Lama and the Rumbipura national football squad

On the Cassowaries' latest overseas qualifier, the Echo-Times-Echo was privileged to have an insider's seat. Our reporter, Graça Baker, went as "embedded reporter." She reports:

The Cassowaries had high hopes after adding a draw to their opening loss. It was terrific to travel with them. I even shared a hotel room with Cassowary goalkeeper Silvana Smitt, better known as the Firendli Lama.

Silvana is one of the more laid-back lamas. She first achieved enlightenment in a former life when, coincidentally, she was also a footballer. As Canabe Livit, she was born in the rainforest but was lucky enough to win a prized footballing exchange to play in Ellery Camp, one of the footballing centres of Errinundera.

She tells me she first achieved enlightenment while sitting under an ironwood tree just outside Ellery Camp. "I remember it as if was yesterday," she smiled. "I think it's because they made me leave all my leather and pork jerky treats and even my slingshot at the customs checkpoint. Made me think, that's for sure. And then I realized: compassion for all living things, that's the trick. Five reincarnations later, I try to spread a bit of that message to the flock. Five lifetimes without a bite of pork...."

She seems to miss pork. Well, who wouldn't? But we must all try to live by this example. As we all live and die by the fortunes of the Cassowaries, bless them.

At 22, Silvana is old for a lama. She chuckled when I referred to her as livitc, which seems to be the style in her enlightenment-land, and agreed it was high time she put down her sayings and memories in a book. Maybe she'll call it the book of livitcus.

In goal, the Firendli Lama has done well to save some dangerous chances allowed through by the leaky Cassowary defence. The team's 4-4-2 formation is traditional, but clunky, and the Cassowaries seem to stick too closely to their positions, lacking in fluidity and creativity.

The team seemed at awe to be visiting Green Hexagon. The Firendli Lama told me she was looking forward to seeing what a six-sided country would look like. "I'm really looking forward to seeing what a six-sided country would look like!" she said. The Cassowaries seemed to all look forward to the sight. The only thing more auspicious than a hexagon, of course, would be a pentagon, representing the holy number five.

Sure enough, when the team stepped off their blimp, piloted by the intrepid Vasco, they were delighted to see the hosts' stadium spread out before them.

"Now, that's a stadium of a different colour!" the Firendli Lama exclaimed.

Green Hexagon's national stadium, we think. (Author's impression)

Sensing easy prey, the Green Hexagon team laid on a strong attack. Over and over, their attackers pierced the Cassowary defence as if it was a piece of cheesecloth. Silvana was heroic between the posts. When a giant hexagonal man whose name eludes me bore down up her in the ninth minute, another hexagon to his right and non Cassowary defenders in sight, she plunged to her right, hovered briefly in mid-air, and plucked the ball from out of the atmosphere like so much fluff. Sadly while she gave thanks to the Divine forces of the Multiverse for this, however, the Green Hexagon attackers marked a goal and the Cassowaries were down 1-0 after just ten minutes.

Silvana tried to protest. She had a hard time seeing the green-clad attackers against a sea of green. And while she tried to interpret a learned discourse on The Ways to Distinguish Emerald from Lime, another goal slipped through. Silas Simparieff responded with a 67th minute marker that salvaged some honour, but it really has to be said that Green Hexagon fielded the better side.

Still, it was a fine time. I even bought a new hat. Do you like it?

by **Jeru FC** » Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:38 pm

Jeru FC coach Allison and her assistant Mango Mousse ...

Mango: Hey, what's the problem we won.
Allison: It's still not good enough, there'a always room for improvement.
Mango: Admittedly we didn't really defend that well.
Allison: If our defenders stopped getting in each other's way, things might improve.
Mango: But that's how Jeru FC defense operate.
Allison: I know offense is the key to winning but defense is key to stopping the other side from winning.
Mango: Jeru FC aren't know for our defense being functional.
Allison: At least we know to score goals. I knew we had the talent, but they just had to apply themselves.
Mango: I was the best striker before.
Allison: Yes, maybe you help out there.
Mango: But I'm not in the army anymore.
Allison: So why are back here with Jeru FC?
Mango: Because everyone knows managing Jeru FC is like drinking beer with sieve.
Allison: Very messy ...
Mango: Yeah
Allison: I can see these boys going places, all I have to do is get them to work together.
Mango: They aren't quite a team yet.
Allison: Well, if your team argue with each other more than the ref or opposition it's problem.
Mango: We didn't have that problem.
Allison: That's because you lot were too drunk to bother
Mango: That's a perfectly good reason.
Allison: Anyway, hopefully I can improve on this effort today. The team finally worked out how to score goals.
Mango: We're third on the table now.
Allison: We should be first, not third.
Mango: You're too much of a perfectionist.
Allison: I'm a woman, it's my job to worry about this stuff.
Mango: I guess someone has to.
Allison: I want show everyone I can manage a football team. Failure is not an option.
Mango: Jeru FC is about failure.
Allison: I don't accept failing as an option.
Mango: You worry too much.

by **Errinundera** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 12:06 am

Rumbipura wrote:...I even shared a hotel room with Cassowary goalkeeper Silvana Smitt, better known as the Firendli Lama.

Silvana is one of the more laid-back lamas. She first achieved enlightenment in a former life when, coincidentally, she was also a footballer. As Canabe Livit, she was born in the rainforest but was lucky enough to win a prized footballing exchange to play in Ellery Camp, one of the footballing centres of Errinundera.

She tells me she first achieved enlightenment while sitting under an ironwood tree just outside Ellery Camp. "I remember it as if was yesterday," she smiled. "I think it's because they made me leave all my leather and pork jerky treats and even my slingshot at the customs checkpoint. Made me think, that's for sure. And then I realized: compassion for all living things, that's the trick. Five reincarnations later, I try to spread a bit of that message to the flock. Five lifetimes without a bite of pork...."

She seems to miss pork. Well, who wouldn't? But we must all try to live by this example...

From the archives, a blast from the past - World Cup 6, to be precise.

News item from the Ellery Camp Pravda,

YOUNG TANAH BURUNG SOCCER HOPEFUL SHIVERS WITH EXCITEMENT

(Picture of young Tanah Burung woman, Canabe Livit, gazing at football star antarcticad. Fellow star oreadest is looking on. Canabe Livit is wearing the antarcticad’s trademark haircut from WC5. They are all standing at the base of the mighty mountain grey gum known as PELLOCAR. There is a light smattering of snow about.)

Today Ellery Camp welcomed into its arms the first young person from the Tanah Burung village Findabaya. Canabe Livit has come to Errinundera as part of young footballer exchange program organized by the Head Lady of Findabaya and homevillage heroes, antarcticad and oreadest.

Canabe Livit is clearly excited by the prospect of her stay here and in the intensive training she will receive in the newly established football academy to be run by the eminent former footballer rodm. We asked her what she was looking forward to most. “I hope to learn so much about Errinundrian culture while I am here. The welcoming ceremony under the canopy of PELLOCAR was so moving. I learned today that the name of the tree means “The cup of life”. The reverence you have for your trees is amazing. If only the global logging companies in Tanah Burung could show a fraction of your respect.” Master of Ceremonies for the occasion, antarcticad, pointed out that the First Creek Falls folk had found the perfect solution: “They trash logging company headquarters with their own equipment.” Ellery Camp mayor, washingd, seconded the statement.

We also asked Canabe Livit what her first impressions of Errinundera were. “Firstly, it’s so cold,” she said. “Everyone warned me how dangerous the bushfires were and, right now, here it is snowing. I’ve never seen snow before. It’s beautiful. I suppose it IS the middle of winter. Do summers really get that dangerous? Secondly, I can’t get over how almost everyone lives in the trees. From here I can look over a broad valley and not see a single building or road. Instead there are enormous spreading trees as far as the eyes can see with beautiful skyways curving between them.”

The young Tanah Burung star won’t be spending all her time kicking balls. The academy has a rigorous academic program that has been approved by the Findabaya Head Lady, Warung Agus. Additionally Canabe Livit will spend periods in other parts of Errinundera, getting to know the people throughout the nation. “Already I’m looking forward to seeing the famous McKillops Bridge and Waratah Flat and Goonmirk Rocks and First Creek Falls. Oh dear, there is so much to do.”

But 10 year old bakerd, swinging upside-down from one of PELLOCARP’s lofty branches, surely spoke for all Errinundrians when he said, “I hope she can be my friend.”

(Close up picture of the upside down smiling head of bakerd with an obviously big drop below him and Canabe Livit – the right way up – laughing with him.)

by **Meguroko** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 4:30 am

MEGUROKO AT WC55: DRAW WITH PAP ON DAY 2
PAP-1
MEG-1

Meguroko played Pretty Awesome Persons yesterday, and we're not afraid to say Meguroko looked good. They had way more shots than PAP (20-14), and all were great chances, but the PAP goalie stood on his head, stopping 19 of the shots before Winston Hilko put one by him. Late in Injury Time, with Meguroko leading 1-0, PAP scored on a free kick taken by Francisco Gonzalez. Lars Verknervossen said, "We should'a had that one, but their goalie was just, like...", while Winston Hilko said "That goalie, man, it took a great shot to beat him, I mean, I was luckey that Longueil shot it from the point and I just happened to be their to deflect it.". We will have more coverage off the WC on Monday, as Megurokans observe Easter.
Goalies

Jay Marchovik,#21
Don Dovo,#1

Defense

Sam Noxovich,#54
Daniel Cravos,#17
Winston Hillko,#37
Voko Pak,#99
Tomma Sonsa, #25 *, 1
Freddy Zokovija,#62

Midfield

Onij Vovich,#20
Dave Dosovuvicha,#12
Vako Vonovisko,#83
Grogery Govicha,#33
Erik Lakon,#87
Alex Lakon,#76
Karl Monitza,#66

Fowards

Tom Drabo,#15
Charles Drabo,#65
Karl Kanzalez,#40
Zaba Joah-Dran,#59
Padro Longueill,#98, 1

# of goals beside each player

by **Sorthern Northland** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 4:45 am

Beningrad Morning Star

SNFA move qualifier venue as Bostopian counterparts labelled eejits

The Football Association (Bostopia) (FA(B)) has finally released details of it's home fixtures and in doing so appears to have opened itself up to a torrent of criticism from the Sorthern Northland Football Association (SNFA). Whilst grounds such as the 91,093 capacity Fort Boston Arena and the 103,499 capacity Bostopia Stadium will host the likes of Legalese and North Mangolana, Sorthern Northland will have to make do with playing in Emperor Boston's back garden for their highly anticipated visit to Bosopia in the penultimate round of qualifying matches.

Officially designated at North Garden, the Emperor's back garden has been credited with having a capacity for 984 spectators, leading to the SNFA hierarchy to question the suitability of it for such a fixture.

Perhaps looking slightly to excuse Sorthern Northland's 5-1 opening day defeat to minnows Los Estados del Sol, SNFA chairman Fionntan Ó hEadroman claimed, “Whilst there can be no doubting that excellent teams like Los Estados del Sol are a big draw and as such suitable to play at grounds such as [the 41,958 capacity] Copesquay Stadium, it baffles that a team such as ours, especially with out intriguing rivalry with the host of the fixture, is deemed suitable only to play in front on barely 1,000 souls.”

The move, clearly at the behest of the megalomaniac despotic dictator of Bostopia, Emperor Boston has angered the SNFA to such an extent that they have promised to treat Bostopia with the same level of contempt as they have afforded Sorthern Northland. Whilst the national stadium of Sorthern Northland, the 150,000 capacity James Connolly Stadium in central Beningrad had previously been set to host the matchday 10 clash at home to Bostopia, with tickets yet to go on sale the SNFA have announced plans to move the game to Thistle Hillock on the Isle of Dreyher.

Host to a two team football league, commonly proclaimed as the world's smallest, Dreyher's single football pitch is set on a severely sloped pitch littered by pot holes. Whilst the pitch does feature rudimentary changing facilities the showers are looked on less than favourably with locals claiming they have just two temperatures, “ARGH, THAT'S SO COLD MY BALLS HAVE FROZEN AND FALLEN OFF!!!” and “ARGH, THAT'S SO HOT MY BALLS HAVE BOILED AND FALLEN OFF!!!”.

Whilst crowds for decisive Dreyher Island League matches can very occasionally reach in excess of three figures, the SNFA are thought to be liaising with local authorities to limit the number of spectators allowed within the vicinity of Thistle Hillock to just 490 on the grounds of health and safety.

Whilst analysts may perceive the SNFA as falling into a tit-for-tat battle Ó hEadroman insists the SNFA are merely standing their ground and acting in a principled manner.

“If the FA(B) want to treat us in this manner then we think it's only right for them to be treated in the same manner” Ó hEadroman commented, possibly whilst frothing at the mouth, “It's a shame it has come to this, but we shall be firm and stand our ground.”

by **Mytannion** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 5:11 am

Ben punched the air, another goal had hit the net. Ben's father walked into the room and asked what the score was.

"Five! Five-nil!" Ben yelled, this left his nation top of the group... Well, joint-top - but this wouldn't happen normally - this was brilliant. People would be partying all over the nation, it was amazing. They had taken results against two higher-ranked opposition and had now battered their way past one of the smallest teams in the Group, they had certainly won in style.

The match coverage ended, now it was the news... It was late, Ben would need to keep resting - his arm wasn't fully healed yet. The newsreader came on the screen and started to talk about the House of Representatives passing bills to raise the retirement age (or the age where you could get a pension). Then, another item came on the screen - the text scrolling across the bottom telling Ben and his father more than the newsreader could just speaking.

'Premier of Federation of Kagdazka and Pazhujebu declares Mytannion 'enemy of state' and cuts off relations between our nations'

Ben gasped, he may be called into action a whole lot earlier than he would have wanted. He hadn't even trained with the SVPO yet and surely the Army was already mobilising forces - getting ready for action if it was needed. The SVPO would probably be dropping agents into the nation already, going to spy on what the Premier was doing - if we were apparently 'an enemy', then she was an enemy of our own nation. The Premier herself, not the citizens... The citizens - as Ben knew - seemed nice enough, and hadn't troubled them none.

--The morning after...--

A knock at the door, and then a nurse in a long white coat walked into the room. Ben groggily awoke, his eyes snapping open - he sat-up quickly to see who it was that was coming into his room this early.

"Good result last night for the boys, hey Ben?" The nurse asked, picking up his chart and pulling a pen out of a pocket.

"Er, yeah.. Yeah, it was..." Ben smiled sheepishly, he wasn't used to this - sexy young nurses coming into his room this early in the morning.

"5-0 hey? Top of the group... Never would have thought I'd see that, ahead of Sarzonia, Kulverint and Novikov." The nurse said, ticking various things with her pen.

"Yeah I know... Brilliant." Ben eyed up the nurse watchfully, why was she taking the sheet off his chart?

"Anyway, I have some good news for you Ben!" She said, smiling at him - slipping the sheet of paper into her pocket and laying the clipboard and chart down.

"Oh, right.. What, are you sure?" Ben asked, slightly confused about the situation. His arm was still sore and his head ached every so often but no where near as regularly as it had been throbbing the first few nights that he had been in the hospital. Sure, the hospital had been very good and had helped the bruising on his head a lot in his time being in the hospital. He was still puzzled as to what good news there could be at the moment.. Apart from the football results of course.. Ben chuckled out loud.

"Well, the bruising has gone and we are also sure that there is not going to be any lasting damage to your head, or more importantly.. Your brain." The nurse said, smiling again - she started to turn to the door, but then turned again. "Oh, and well... You are okay to be discharged today!" She laughed, Ben looked even more confused than before. Then he smiled too.

"Great!" Ben jumped out of the bed, reached into the wardrobe and started pulling on some clothes. The nurse looked at him surprised, then laughed again - continuing to walk out of the room and into the next room - to the next patient..

--Two days later--

Rounds of gun fire were whipping past his ears as he crouched low in the sandbags. These were live rounds, there was no messing about if you wanted to be a part of the most elite unit in the Mytanar Army. Another agent was sat across from him, the agent signalled - pointing over to the deserted house, then clasping is hands together. He wanted them to meet in the deserted house. He then motioned to himself and pointed over to the right, then pointing at Ben and motioning to run over to the right. He wanted them to split up as they ran, to make them harder targets for the guns (which had motion sensors, and therefore fired at anything that moved).

Ben jumped up, sprinted for about ten metres and then dived forwards - skidding towards some big rocks which would provide perfect cover for him to run towards the deserted house. The shots kept firing, but they were obviously firing at his fellow agent now. The shots didn't sound anywhere near as loud as they had been. Ben peered over the rocks. His agent had slid into some bushes, although the shots didn't stop. Ben quickly ran out, distracting the gun to him. He then sprinted off over to the right again, he looked over his shoulder - and the other agent was now moving quickly towards the house. Ben would just have to evade the gun-fire for as long as it took for him to make it to the house.

Ben dived and rolled again, this time behind a pillar. This was a city-scape, it was designed to train the agents in fighting in fighting in built-up areas. Where civilians and enemy soldiers could mix quite easily. They were currently in a park or something similiar where there was foliage and rivers and lots of other wild-life-like things. It provided great cover, but the next part of this training mission would be harder. They had to get to a drop-zone in the centre of a city, where they were fighting a last-stand. They were surrounded by gun fire and had to keep the target area for long enough for a helicopter to land. If they got to the house, they would find it a lot easier for them to get to the next part of the mission if they got there - they would be covered by the house all the way down the fake road from gunfire from behind. They could also re-group and plan how they would first reach the dropzone. It wouldn't be too hard to get there, but it would be hard to stop the other unit from surrounding them at the dropzone*.

He looked out from behind the pillar, the other agent had now reached the house and was looking at him. He had something in his hand, a grenade. They now knew enough about whereabouts the gun was situated to risk wasting one of their weapons on this. If they got rid of that gun, the road to the dropzone would be a lot easier. Ben nodded at his fellow agent, who quickly hopped outside the house - dodged a brief amount of gunfire, pulled the pin out of the grenade and threw it. It was a good throw and went into the exact spot where the gunfire had been coming from. A few seconds passed and then an explosion.

...

Ben inched out from behind the pillar. He then put his whole body in front of the where the gunfire had come from. Nothing happened, Ben quickly jogged across to the house.

"Right, we need to be quick. By my time-keeping, we have about twenty minutes to get to the dropzone before we would be too late. So, let's get moving and we can't go off the beaten track. We'll have to risk being trapped on the main road, if we go bushwhacking now - it'll take us too long to get to the dropzone - not that there are many bushes, but y'know what I mean, we can't go through the backstreets. Just run as fast as you can, alright?" The other agent** asked.

"Yeah, that all sounds good to me. Let's get going then, have you got some water?" Ben answered, then asked another question.

"Yeah, here you go. If there are traps we'll just lob grenades, smoke and frags - we need to hurry up." The other agent muttered, throwing Ben a water bottle.

The two ran down the road, to their surprise - they didn't encounter any traps or gunfire. It was obvious that the Green Horde unit would be focussing on the dropzone. The two grinned as they ran down the road, panting heavily - pushing their bodies to the absolute limit as they sprinted through the houses, the alleys providing perfect cover for an ambush of some kind. The two heard a helicopter's blades whirring overhead, the dropzone was not looking any closer - and already the helicopter was coming.

"Oh shit!" Shouted Ben.

"Hey, we've got to remain calm. If we don't, and we panic - we won't get there anyway." The agent said.

The two kept going. To their surprise, two Green Horde soldiers (they were able to tell who they were by their all-green uniforms and jackboots) were sat asleep in an armoured jeep. The jeep had a gun turret armed on-top.

"Perfect..." said Ben, jumping across and motioning to his fellow SVPO agent to jump in. They opened the doors and the two Green Horde soldies awoke quickly. It was a trap! The two soldiers tried to push them back out of the jeep as they jumped up. But Ben and the other agent were prepared, they knocked the two over the head with their pistols. They both crumpled and fell out of the jeep, someone would collect them later - after Ben and his team-mate had reported back to the dropzone. They drove the jeep off, Ben controlling the gun turret, the other agent driving. They were coming into a more heavily built-up area of the city-scape now, with lots of houses and higher blocks located around them, an ambush could come from anywhere.

When one did come, Ben swung around on the gun turret and shot rapidly at the oncoming soldiers who dived out of the way of the bullets. Ben had a thought, if they had taken the soldiers uniforms when they had stole the jeep then they could just have driven through here with no trouble. Sure it was a training exercise so it was slightly better if they trained for the worst possible conditions - that was exactly what they were doing.

"Oi, mate! We've got about five minutes, I'm going to push this baby to her limits - so hold on tight up there, okay?!" The other agent yelled upto Ben, Ben laughed and nodded back at him - he thought they were already driving at top-speed as he couldn't say a word for wind blowing into his face.

Soldiers were located across the road in front of him, they had made a road block. Ben was about to scream down to the other agent to go around the side and avoid the soldiers but the other agent drove straight through smashing wood and cones everywhere, soldiers diving out of the way to avoid the oncoming jeep. Ben laughed maniacally, this was mad.

"You have to be crazy to join the SVPO!" The other agent shouted from in the jeep.

"I think I just found that out for myself!" Yelled Ben, grinning.

He could see other SVPO members who he had met merely a day before up ahead, shooting at some unseen foes. This oncoming jeep seemed to attract the majority of the gunfire however and Ben dived back inside as bullets pinged off the armoured shell of the vehicle. The helicopter was coming into land now, the whirring of the blades was a lot louder now, the other agent skidded the jeep to a halt and Ben dived out. The other agent followed him, the jeep was now blocking the fire of the Green Horde soldiers. The helicopter landed and they all got inside, it took off quickly. Ben and his fellow SVPO agents all looked down at the Green Horde soldiers and laughed and whooped - they couldn't shoot at the helicopter it was deemed as too expensive to risk damaging and so when they were inside it, gunfire wasn't allowed.

They had completed their training mission.

Ben had completed his three day training programme with flying colours, if real action was needed - he would be an important member of the SVPO. Although he didn't know, people from the top were talking about him - and how important he could be to a victory in any battle against a foreign power. Any battle that may come about against the Federation of Kagdazka and Pazhujebu..

All Ben was bothered about though, was going back to the Federation - and finding that girl.

*This is a traditional Mytanar Army training exercise where two units fight out a battle using real bullets and real equipment - injuries come as part of the job. One unit arrives in the training grounds two days before the other and can set-up the area how they wanted, positioning guns and traps in various spots which the other unit has to negotiate to get to a final goal. In this case, it is the dropzone and therefore the 'other' unit (or the Green Horde - which is the other unit involved), can surround them when they get to it and will have situated a lot of their members here.
**Normally, agents in the SVPO don't learn the names of other agents in their group. Thus, Ben will not be able to name this other agent.

by **The Babbage Islands** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 5:41 am

Back to Cafundéu rather quickly, and you may not see much of me for three years or so.

Richard has been called by the LDS Church to preside over the first full-fledged mission in Cafundéu, the Cafundéu Lasft Mission. Previously the limited activity in that land had been overseen by one or another mission office outside the country. Now there will be a mission headquartered in the city where I played for years with Petardos S/A.

This isn't quite the last Tegan Tells for now. But it will wind up the current run soon as we prepare for our three-year service. In addition to all the standard challenges of international pack-and-move and opening what can be compared to a new branch office, I get to teach Dick Portuguese.

Enough about us, though, let's talk Bumblebees.

Michelle Germaine has the World Cup 55 edition of the national team off to a solid 2-1-0 start after a rocky pre-qualifying period that included an embarrassing 5-1 loss to world champions Aguazul. Jason Olson is on fire up front with five goals in three qualifying games including the tally that should have stood up yesterday in Erathore. After holding a 1-0 lead for most of the match, however, the Bumblebees let it slip through their fingers as Gaespare Malvolio scored unmarked from an injury-time corner by Alexio Del Nieran to force the draw before a delighted crowd.

Defender Roger Provencher, whose missed assignment on the set piece led to the Erathore goal, is likely to sit for the next match. Greenville Rovers' Eva Glemnitz will replace him in an effort to improve back-end communication. Roger's a solid defender but noticeably off form; the change will do everyone good. But overall the 5-3-2 has had good results. Two goals allowed in three matches is surely an acceptable standard. Elizabeth Hanna has been a rock between the sticks, Jerry Kirkpatrick is leading the team as if he were years younger, and Nancy Svoboda's debut at sweeper has gone swimmingly. Big brother Glen is both proud and chafing at the same time, as Sis has played over 250 minutes in three matches compared to about 15 for him. I wouldn't be shocked to see Jason get a rest and either Glen or Bethany Martin start one alongside Tom Hovi up front. Michelle may wait till after we host group leaders Kandorith at the U.F.O. in Cardston, though.

Smile!

by **North Chicanan** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 7:10 am

Chicanan Daily Rabbler
A Report On National Nonsense

Well, This Makes Sense
Group Play Continues To Look Odd, But We Won!

Winslow Morgan, St. John's

Ever get the feeling it's going to be one of those tournaments?

As a means of handling the already ridiculous pressure placed on his head by being a coach to a paranoid nation that hates anything resembling failure, Damien O'Neill has played his team like three very different sides in three days, this time playing far more conservatively than they did in the 4-1 victory to settle for a 2-all tie with Unitopolis, allowing neither side to make much ground with the group leaders both losing tonight.

To be fair, both sides played like neither wanted to lose anything resembling momentum after recovery from really bad losses, with both sides exchanging goals in both halves. On the down side, we techincally came back both times. On the worse side, the Hoops gained their first double yellow with Taggert Page coming off a poor-timed tackle right after coming off the bench at the 60th minute. However, the team did score seven minutes later while a man down so that helps show some flex and the side only looses a reserve player so O'Neill will have to make someone else play midfield.

Group 13 Schedule
MD01: L 3-1 at Bergnovinaia
MD02: W 4-1 vs German zerabithea
MD03: T 2-2 Unitopolis
MD04: vs Chunnan (Tele24 Park, Neuchantel)
MD05: at Kelssek
MD06: vs Tretskivucia (Hollish Republic Stadium, Bomen)
MD07: vs Pohjoisland (at Kodiak Memorial Park, Douala)
MD08: at Tynelia
MD09: off
MD10: at The Kangaroo Republic
MD11: vs Kaputrania (at Stallion Arena, Township)
MD12: vs Bergnovinaia (at National Square, Southampton)
MD13: at German zerabithea
MD14: vs Unitopolis (at SuperKings Arena, Longstreet)
MD15: at Chunnan
MD16: vs Kelssek (at Shamrock Field, St.John's)
MD17: at Tretskivucia
MD18: at Pohjoisland
MD19: vs Tynelia (at City Reds Fieldhouse, Astur)
MD20: off
MD21: vs The Kangaroo Republic (at Free State Arena, Provincetown)
MD22: at Kaputrania

The more pressing topic in the state right now, besides how quickly O'Neill will be fired, is the official announcement of the divorce of of Marc James from his husband of six years Daniel. The media, typically not interested in celebrity nonsense, has tried to rival the glossys in their coverage of all the drama, trying to drum out who could have caused the breakup of a star couple from the always entertaining Sussex County side. Well, the press now reports the Daisy starter and his man split over their time apart, as Daniel has not been able to travel with the national side as one of the many Tag-alongs, but has been in the process of leaving the University of Victoria to become the youngest dean of Arts & Sciences at the prestigious Hobart College. Daniel, who will be retaking his maiden name of Thomalsin, and Marc said they are still on the best of terms but knew their relationship could not work as long as their commitments kept them as separate as they do.

So of course all three major glossys decided to keep on speculating on just who James hooked up with to cause Thomalsin to file. We love our press, it at least distracts from the more ugly.

Goal Scorers for the match: Villani ('30), Owen ('67)
Subs: Page ('60) for Longstreet
Yellows: Page ('60)
Reds: Page (second yellow)
Injuries: none

Notes: Ratings battle! City1 and 1.1 were able to hold off Ch.2 and the Northern Song Contest qualifiers by a scant million people last night, helping City win the week in ratings by a far smaller margin than expected. With the Grand Finals in two weeks, many expect Ch.2 to edge ahead of City on their Friday Night battles. With coverage of the next World Bowl shifting to Ch.2 and 24English scoring the contract to cover the upcoming Rugby World Cup many think City's dominance (and CitySports' high advertising cost) might be switching back to a more ground footing. 24E finished third on the night with coverage of State Premiers soccer, while NK's debate show "St. John's Talk" interested more people than Tele24's comedy block for the first time.

Tonight the Hoops are at Tele24 Park in Neuchantel. The home of three different French clubs will see surpring co-leader Chunnan within it's box, and an expected crowd of 46,000 are hoping that maybe O'Neill and the Hoops turn the goal spigot back on.

by **The Kiaser Colonies** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 8:12 am

Daily Kiaser
Sports

The Kiaser Colonies are now top of Group 11 on goal difference thanks to a 2-1 win away to Taeshan. The Kiaser Colonies named the team only an hour before the game, waiting to see if defender Gary Sherridan would recover from a stomach problem. Unfortunately this was not looking likely so Mark Cahill gave a world cup debut to Cian O'Neill.

Taeshan made the best possible start when the striker found the net with a bicycle kick fromonly 7 yards out off a long range cross from the rigth back. In a matter of miliseconds the whole of the Kiaser Colonies team was claiming off-side. The referee simply waved away the call and let the goal count. On the video replay it was clear that he was a long way off-side and that the team was the victim of a terrible injustice. None the less they carried on once the keeper had made his point. The incident had clearly motivated the team and they began to dominate the match and finished the half with 11 shots on target and 74% possesion. Unfortunately it remained 1-0 at the interval.

In the second half the game was tied after only 2 minutes of play when Cian O'Neill ran down the flanks of the opponents deffense and, with the help of a pass and pass back from Greg Jackson, found himself 1 on 1 witn the keeper. With amazing skill that most players fail to show infront of goal, he tricked the keeper into diving the wrong way and tapped the ball into an open net. The defender went crazy celebrating the goal and so did his team mates. But they soon composed themselves and went on the attack again. The game was coming to a stand still in the 73rd minute as both sides were begining to feel fatigued and Mark Cahill made 2 changes and brought on Dan Masters for Mefoko Papakoi and Hakebo Sanuli for Andrew Gray. The changes made a big difference to the match as O'Neill and Sanuli completely shut down the Taeshan attack and Masters was making plenty of attacking moves. In the 83rd minute The Kiaser Colonies won a free kick 27 yards out when the Taeshan left back slid in dangerously on Greg Jackson and was sent off with a red card. Watson was ready to take the kick but Jackson was still down injured. To the dismay of the traveling fans the captain had to be removed and the armband was handed to Muku Jahai and on came Timmy Baines. The Taeshan defense had obviously never seen Watson take a free before because they only put up a 2 man wall. The big mistake was irreversable and Watson got his second goal of the campaign as his shot thundered in behind the keeper to make it Taeshan 1-2 The Kiaser Colonies. The Kiaser Colonies defense was too good for the Taeshan attack and the game was up. The Kiaser Colonies move top on goal difference with 7 points.

Team Toughts
Daniel Beale:
That right backs got one big kick better go out to meet it, no wait the strikers going to do something. Ahh! ''YES!'' What!? He was way off-side. How did he not see it. ''Ref what's going on? There's no way he was on-side. How is it a goal?'' ''He was on-side as I could see and the lines men didn't raise a flag''. ''That's because you were down the other end of the field''. ''Forget it. I'm the ref and I decide what goes so get back in your goal.'' Great now we're a goal down away from home. We need something special now.

Cian O'Neill:
''Ronan pass''. There's a gap on the wing, if I run for it I might make it past the defense. Here I go. Yes. Past the midfield, but the defense is so tight. Think. I know, i'll pass to Greg. ''Greg, wake up!''. The defense has moved for him. He's passing back. Run. Come on 1 on 1 with the keeper. I love this. Send him left and ... tap. Yes! ''YES! YES! YES! WOO! GOAL! YES!'' Come on 1 more, we can win this. We will win this!

Mark Cahill:
''Oh come on you could have won that ball easy. Come on.'' They're getting tired. Better make a substitution or 2. Let's see. I don't think I should take off any of the mids they look fine, Gray's looking sluggish, i'll swap him for Sanuli and i'll put Masters on for Nomah, no Mefoko. Ok. ''Masters, Sanuli, you're both going on. Kim tell the official's. Gray for Sanuli and Mefoko for Masters OK?'' ''Right Sir'' Right boy's, you know the tactics. Just follow them and don't do anything stupid, OK?'' ''Yes Sir.'' ''Good now go warm up.''

Greg Jackson:
''Nomah, over here''. I'll cross it in hope someone gets a head on... ''ARHHG! OH MY LEG AHH!'' ''That's a dangerous tackle, what were you thinking? I'm sending you off''.''AHHH!'' ''Greg are you all right? Can you play on?'' ''I don't think so Kim it's pretty bad. AHHH! Mark will need to make a change.'' ''Right. MARK. HE CAN'T PLAY ON. MAKE A CHANGE. Here put your arm over my shoulders. John come over he needs help.''

James Watson:
This could be a tough one. Its a fair way out but there's no wall. The keeper doesn't seem ready for it. Toot. Yes... GOAL! YES 2-1. Come on we can win it now their attack has not been great all day. We just need to focus.

Match Time Line
1' Goal Taeshan, Striker
47' Goal T.K.C, C.O'Neill
73' >< H. Sanuli, D.Masters for A.Gray, M.Papakoi
82' + G.Jackson
82' __ Taeshan, Left Back
83' Goal T.K.C, J.Watson

by **Polar Islandstates** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 9:06 am

Sol slammed open the door to his office and threw his briefcase down angrily. Morten Yarbin followed him in to the room sheepishly, but also concerned. He'd never seen his friend, usually such a reserved character, show his emotions in such an explosive way.

"It's just not fair!" Sol started to pour himself a drink of water from the jug on the desk and then threw the glass on the floor in a further fit of rage when the water wasn't flowing exactly to his liking. "You know what I mean, Morten? I mean, aaargh, it's just not fair!"

"Calm down, Sol, calm down mate. We knew it was going to be this difficult when we took the job, we knew that-"

"And don't tell me to calm down! I am plenty calm thank you very much!"

"Well, forgive me but you don't sound it." Morten raised an eyebrow at Sol from a safe distance. Looking up from his hunched perch above the desk, Sol flashed daggers in his eyes across the room. Seeing the scepticism and uncertainty in his friend's body language, he sighed, released the tension in his shoulders, and stood up properly."

"Ah, you're right, Morten. I'm sorry, its just so frustrating, you know?" Exasperated, he slumped down in his cherished leather chair, leaned back, and placed his hands on his face. "I mean, I knew it would be difficult. I know, we've got years of work to do if we're going to turn this team into one that can challenge for qualification, but, oh I don't know. These are the kinds of matches that we want to be winning, drawing, or at least challenging for points in if we want to achieve our goal of making a challenge for fifth in the group. Olsen and Pryor weren't even challenged for their goals! I mean, Saugeais are the team that should finish fifth in the group, if we want to be challenging for fifth we need to give them a better match than that. At home, as well! The Ostkurven looked devastated by the final whistle. We just never looked like threatening them seriously. A couple of half chances for Skye and that was it. Game over, Morten, game over."

"Well, yeah, but Sol think of the injuries we've got at the moment, yeah? Berg, Ackermann-Finn, Pekarik, Moller, Golubev, van Sorensen, van Jendrisen, that's a pretty substantial list."

"All the same, and, not to take anything away from Sundstrom here, cos he performed so, so well tonight, but I would still have liked to have given them a run for their money."

"Sol, mate, calm down, we're ranked 244 yeah? What are Saugeais? In the 80s? At least Kernansquillec lost, that mid-table spot could still be ours."

"Morten, we've got Jeruselem, a bye, and then Akbarabad. Three matchdays from now, we're still going to be stuck on three points. I know its a long campaign, and there's plenty to fight for still, but I'm not so much worried about our final position, more the pressure that the press are going to put on my job."

"Oh, come on, Sol. We're a small team and we're playing big teams, you'd think they'll back off a wee bit."

"Three points after six matchdays? Doesn't look great."

"Against top teams, and with a host of injuries. It'll be fine. It's the matches against the teams lower ranked than us that we'll want to make certain of. Let's focus on those, eh?"

"Aye, rights." Sol straightened up a bit, and looked at the tactics sheet in front of him. "Speaking of injuries, any progress from the treatment room?"

"None as of yet. Berg, Ackermann-Finn and Pekarik are closest I think but they'll not be fit for Jeruselem. The bye match may yet do us a favour though, they might be back for Akbarabad."

"Fair enough. Same team for Jeruselem then?"

"Aye, I suppose it'll have to be. At least the press won't be expecting a result this time. Oh, and Alexsandr has been released from hospital."

"Oh? That's great news!"

"Yeah, he'll be in the stands for the match against Jeruselem, and he'll be visiting the training ground tomorrow, but I think we'll wait for the bye match before we think about training."

"I see. Well. Another match, another defeat. We'll have a fair few of those to face up to in the future I guess. Sorry for getting frustrated."

"It's quite alright, mate, think nothing of it."

"Scotch?"

"Well, I don't see why not..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, hey! Guys! It's Alexsandr!"

Alexsandr van Sorensen poked his head round the treatment room door, and was greeted by the sight of a clutch of his team-mates, working at a variety of light exercise machines.

"Hi, guys, how goes?"

"Oh, you know, painfully." joked Vladimir from the back of the room, having his arm re-set by a physio. "How are you our little X-Man friend?"

"Oh, you know, sense-y. "Alexsandr joked.

There was a smatter of laughter from the room. Alexsandr was only a kid to most of these players, but he was immensely popular and well-liked.

"That's not a word, you berk." teased Maarten Berg. "Anyway, to what do we owe your presence? I trust they've let you out of the doctor-box?"

"Aye, yeah, discharged. Fighting fit and full of determination to get back in training. Anyway, I've brought you something interesting that you might not have seen yet."

"Oh, and what's that?"

"This morning's Franz Josef Reporter. I'll read it for you:
'Not all doom and gloom for Terns' players, after Olsen and Pryor tore them apart last night, as a group of Mytanar nationals were spotted watching from the stands. The Franz Josef Reporter can neither confirm nor deny which teams they were all affiliated to, but witnesses say they saw the crest of Mytannion super-club Atletik Thessia on their jackets. Again, the Reporter can't claim to have seen their notepads for sure, but a photocopy we've attained seems to list Alexsandr van Sorensen, Tommi Kokkur, Niko Marek, Teemu Hansen, and Vasily Kasanov, whilst Ole van Jendrisen, Luc Demarchelier, Vladimir Golubev, and Pol Sundstrom had their names circled. Now, not that we at the Reporter are ones to suggest a mass-exodus of national talent to the Takillega, but... wow.'"

"Well."

"Yeah."

There was a kind of hushed silence in the room, as the players digested what they had just heard, and looked at each other, dumbstruck.

"I'm showing Pol." said Vladimir, grabbing the paper out of Alexsandr hand with his good arm, and running out to the training field.

"Hey, Vlad! Wait!" cried Alexsandr, following him out of the room as the rest of the players laughed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Starting formation for match against Jeruselem:
----------------- Karlsson -----------------
- Makarov -- McAllister - Marek -- de Huyer -
------- Bielsen - Sundstrom - Hansen -------
---------------- Demarchelier --------------
----------Skye ---- Blonqvist --------

by **Bears Armed** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 9:45 am

"And another one falls,
And another one falls,
And another one chews the mud!"

"Been listening to your grand-da's old 'LandMother' records again, have you?

"Hwell yes... but that song is so appropriate: Didn't you hear, the Bear-Belles have just beaten another set of opponents, which puts them at three-for-three so far in these qualifiers... which is MUCH better than the results for their 'friendly' games in this cycle, hrright?
"World Cup, here we come!"

"Hr'rmm, but those wins have all been against much weaker opposition than for their 'friendly' games this cycle, so far, too.
"Look at what's coming up, next they are away to WhiteInch -- who came verrry close to winning in the latest 'Baptism of Fire' -- and then they're at home to Khytenna who are the group's second seeds and who are also three-for-three at the moment. Those two games are both likely to be rather tougher than any of the previous trio were..."

"Ur'rmm..."

"So anyhows, I want the Belles to qualify for the Cup again -- and then to go on and win it, for a first time, too -- as much as you do, but I don't smell how just bragging about their success so far is going to help them in the future."

"Ayyuh, so what have you got in mind that could help them to keep on winning, 'Mr Wise-Owl''? Anything at all?"

"Ayyuh. A bunch of us regulars from the 'Drunken Donkey' have hired a shabear to carry out a sacrifice to Margaret on the Belles' behalf. If you want in then hand over some thalers now -- to increase the funds available for buying the poultry that he'll be sacrificing -- and be at TorchedTrees Grove a watch before sun-down next TigersDay: Hwell?"

"Sounds good, sounds good: Ayyuh, i will, for true!"

by **Civil Citizenry** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 10:39 am

Tazz Reppible was not an emotional man by nature. It was the competition that brought out the best - worst? - in him. Twenty years of football will do that to you. Survival of the fittest - the need to stay ahead of the pack - drove him through every level of soccer in Civil Citizenry. At every stagnation of progress, he would remind himself that he hadn't come this far just to turn back again. Every individual or team accomplishment became inherently deeper in side him, sparking incredible emotion. So when he hooked a nifty goal into the upper left corner of the Teinohikiran net to score Civil Citizenry's only goal in the 82nd minute of the team's first win in the World Cup 55 qualifying stage, a surge of energy and excitement compelled him to run across the field yelling at the top of his lungs, chased madly by his eager teammates, ready to celebrate.

"Christ," muttered Eksyama as he strode into the locker room. "Eight fucking minutes left in the game, plus extra." His words carried to the ear of Reppible - intentionally - who was already sitting by a bench, removing his sweaty shirt amongst a sea of high fives from his joyous teammates. Eksyama took a seat a few lockers down, violently shaking his head, trying to prove a point. "Could have given up another fucking goal," he said, continuing to shake his head in such a way that Reppible was almost required to glance at him. "Could have fucking screwed the whole fucking game up."

"Man, what's your problem?" said Reppible.

"Oh, nothing," he said, concealing a slight smirk. "Just thinking about that lucky goal you made."

Tazz Reppible very rarely displayed a temper, but Eksyama was certainly testing his patience. "Hey, don't be a douche about this just because you didn't score."

"Don't be calling me a douche," Eksyama said as he turned towards his teammate, again flashing a tiny smirk. "All I'm saying is, I had a pretty good position to score when you brought the ball up. Could have passed once or twice."

Reppible took two steps forward. "You self-conscious bi-"

Acca rushed in between them, facing Eksyama. "You need to stop."

"Aww, look, it's our team captain rushing in to save the day."

"We can't afford any problems. These games will define our careers. We're a team.

Eksyama sneered, and turned back towards his locker. "Yeah," he said condescendingly.

by **Virabia** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 10:52 am

Ever since the Schoellkopf Massacre nearly two years ago, it has been a chilling experience for Inacayal (or anyone really) to go near the football ground at Schoellkopf. His brother was one of the innocents who died in the crossfire between rowdy Novikovan fans as well as the MLA. Luckily, since that point the MLA and other people known to incite violence at football events have been banned from attending games involving the team. Which, according to Inacayal, was a good thing as he knew that it was a member of the MLA who killed his brother and Inacayal swore that if he ever found out who it was, that person would meet the same fate as his brother.

This anger was flared when Inacayal stopped to look at a monument that had been placed outside of the stadium in honour of those who died. It was little more than a bronze plate on what looked like a head stone. Inscribed on it was "On 14 Feburary AY 16, @ 0934 WRST; massacre", below it was the score of the game when it was called off in the thirty-third minute and below that was a list of the 23 who either died at the ground or as a result of complications from injuries sustained as a result. Towering above the monument were three flag posts. The centre one held the Virabi flag while to the left was the "stain-less" Novikovan flag and on the right was the flag of Churchma (who, ironically the team had just lost to). Each of the flags was at half mast and were waving furiously because of the heavy winds.

Inacayal looked for his brothers name, he found it second down on the second column, "Robertó Mojica". As he red this, Inacayal let out a few tears. Not only was he sad that his brother died but, that because of his pursuit for glory he had ignored his brother. Through the final 10 years of his (Robertó's) life, the two had only seen each other five times and most of those were right after the war.

Henry, who was one of the closer ones to Inacayal on the team saw Inacayals distress and came over to comfort him.

"It's ok, mate.", he said in a gruff voice, "Nothing you can do about it now. Just keep fighting. It's what your brother would have wanted."

Inacayal didn't fully accept this condolence. No one but him knew the real reason why he was crying. No one on the team knew that over the past few days he has questioned almost everything about his unhealthy lifestyle and at this point he wanted not for his brother to be alive again but for himself to be ten again. How he longed for the days at the house in the country, where he could run around care free. Back then everything was a whole lot more mystical. The mountains seemed bigger, the the sun brighter and the sky higher. Though, he knew that he never could experience that time again. No matter how much he longed for it, he could never be five again. He could, however, change his life. By now he had amassed enough of a fortune so that he could retire and live comfortably for the rest of his life.

At this point, he seemed certain of it. Retirement seemed so nice to him. No longer would he have to play a long season of a sport, which, by now he was sick of. No longer would he wake up at the crack of dawn and work ten hours a day at improvement. For once he could settle down and not live continously on the road. For once he could find love, friendship. For once he would be able to cultivate his intellect, and he knew that in the case he ever wanted to return to football he could always play part time for an amateur club.

However, if he were to retire, he wanted to do it right. If he retired, he wanted to do it in Portsham. Wondering how far away that was, he pulled out his pocket schedule and saw that the team wouldn't be in Seaview until the team would next face Valladares. A date that was twenty days off. At least that would give him some time to plan.

by **Rumbipura** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 10:54 am

RUMBIPURA ECHO-TIMES-ECHO

Correction and Apology

In yesterday's report, Graça Baker attributed Rumbipura's goal in the away match at Green Hexagon to midfielder Silas Simparieff.

The green light must have blinded Graça. After consultation with the High Court of Lamas, we are informed that the goal was in fact scored by the Wu-li Lama. Our reporter was simply not enlightened enough to move beyond the evidence of what she saw. The lamas, who watched the match on TV, are more enlightened compassionate beings, and could see beyond mere visual evidence to the deeper truth.

As the most enlightened player on the pitch, it is clear that any goal must have been scored by the Wu-li Lama. As in previous matches, the Wu-li Lama must have scored the Cassowaries's sole goal each match. Any other event would disturb the karmic balance.

This paper regrets attributing the goal to Mr Simparieff, and revises its original scoring report.

Previous reports had one goal each scored by the Wu-li Lama, Markus Eluay, and Silas Simparieff.

We now realize that all three goals were scored by the Wu-li Lama. We thank the Court of Lamas for their spiritual guidance in this matter and for revealing our error.

Ms Baker has been dismissed from employment.

by **Kagdazka and Pazhujebu** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 11:48 am

The dust beneath Emiliaja's shoes was vibrating. She could unmistakably feel it, a rumble across the whole of Juvapanam that had faintly begun an hour or so ago and had only gotten louder. She looked up at the source, a dazzlingly large crowd of people who had all taken to the streets.

Some had brought large placards or fabric banners, others were wearing Juvapanam ZL shirts, while others were simply chanting. But everyone seemed to be in agreement: one woman had brought them there.

The night before, across the bay in Urajbina, Fušia Oujadda had scored the second-half equalizer that ultimately had earned the Federation a point against a world powerhouse in Cassadaigua. But it wasn't the goal that had been the talk of the town (and the whole country, really), it was her celebration. Despite the stern warnings of the Premier during the afternoon, Oujadda had shown nerves of steel in cartwheeling on the grass after the goal and then pulling from her shoe a scrap of cloth.

Hundreds of cameras were trained on her, and everyone saw the message: "We Shall Be Free."

The city of Juvapanam was alight. A daughter of the town's proud streets had stood up to the merciless dictator in Mahathu on national, nay, international television, and now everyone wanted to show the same courage she had by holding a town-wide march against the Premier.

Emiliaja tossed back her straight black hair. It was a balmy day, and it seemed like nothing could go wrong.

About a block up ahead, the crowd seemed to be much more dense, and Emmy could see why from where she was standing. On top of a parked car, a teenage boy was shouting enthusiastically. She couldn't hear every word, but she caught a few, amongst them "freedom," "revolution," and "overthrow."

She was glad that more young people were embracing the point of view of the Partisans, but, she thought, this kid was an amateur. He was sort of just rambling, no coherent thread to his argument. And who stood on top of cars during speeches? That was so twentieth century.

And yet, Emmy noticed, he was drawing huge crowds, all surrounding the car and chanting back and forth with him. Evidently they thought there was something special about the boy. Emmy looked closer. Was he a celebrity or something? Maybe a famous singer? No... that wasn't it. Was he a footballer? No... too young. Wait, she thought... he does look a bit like a current footballer... a bit African-looking with dark brown skin, short and curly black hair...

But just as it occurred to her that the teenage boy on top of the car was Fušia Oujadda's youngest brother, something terrible happened.

A shot rang out, and the boy's body went limp, slumping down onto the roof of the car.

Emmy knew immediately what had happened, and knew that she had to get off the streets in an instant if she ever wanted to see Mikhail (or anyone else) again. The Partisans' intelligence people had warned her that this might happen.

People began to scream as they saw the boy's blood. Emmy hopped a fence into a private garden, concealing herself behind an extremely large flower pot and trying to block out the sound.

This was only just beginning, she thought. And sure enough, the screaming of the people of Juvapanam only got worse as the reports of automatic machine guns began to ring out all over the city.

by **Stachland** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 11:51 am

Another Shutout, Another Victory
by Lowell Brooks

The Stachlandic national football team returned home yesterday to face the team from Yavin 420. The Union Community Sports Complex in Chevronia was at capacity, with 89,000 fans looking for the home team to continue its winning streak. And they were not disappointed—with two goals in the first half and one in the second, the team cruised to its fourth consecutive shutout, the third in World Cup qualifying, and claimed sole possession of the lead in Group Seven.

From the moment the match began, it was clear that Stachland was on its way to a victory. Captain Everett Lang, deftly avoiding Yavin defenders, took the ball up the field, and, seventeen minutes into the match, executed an excellent cross that found the outstretched foot of Lyle Verdak before settling into the back of the net. This was followed almost exactly ten minutes later with another Verdak goal, this one a lancing strike from just outside of the penalty box.

The score would remain two-nil in favor of Stachland until the halftime whistle sounded, and the Yavin defense would manage to ward off several attacks for the first half hour of the second half. But in the eighty-first minute, Zachary Zeelowe, the team’s top scorer in the Baptism of Fire, earned his first goal of World Cup qualifying, sneaking in behind the Yavin defense to take a pass from Verdak and smash the ball past the opposing goalkeeper for Stachland’s third goal of the match.

Verdak, who has now scored four goals in three games, had this to say: “I’m surprised that I, personally, am doing so well in these qualifying matches. I had no doubt that we would be winning as a team, but I didn’t really expect to score more than a goal or two. But, no matter how I do, I just hope that our success as a team continues.”

Stachland will face Hockey Canada tonight, a team that has drawn two of its qualifying matches and lost one. The match will occur, once again, at the Union Community Sports Complex, which is expected to play host to another capacity crowd.

by **Bergnovinaia** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 12:15 pm

Radio broadcast about Bergnovinaia's WC results (as well as results from the Delman tour and the world lacrosse championships).

by **Astograth** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 12:18 pm

"...zaindu hi askatasun odolz eta ilenti."

Sarlange freed himself from his teammates as the national anthem ended and Eastfield Lodge's began. He hadn't sung, but that chump Bularte had, as always. Idiot. Instead of using his position as captain to make a political statement, he went along with what the oppressors told him. A traitor to the Iturributan people, he was, and despite the squad's efforts he kept repeating lies: "Unite, not divide."

It disgusted Sarlange. The Rumiatzi were savage invaders, with their duke subjugating all the other peoples of Astograth. And Bularte, the team captain, condoned it with that stupid song.

Sarlange remembered when he'd been called up for the national team, over a year ago. They were going to debut in some cup in Chunnan, and Sarlange recalled not wanting to go, not wanting to be a part of this farce. Then he'd realized that if he played and succeeded, he'd be raising awareness and getting his own petty revenge.

He remembered meeting his teammates, and distrusting them immediately. The captain, Sakona from United, had been just as weak as Bularte, on top of being awful in goal. Uhalt, Kabia, Atzpiri...Sarlange was proven right in thinking they were also weak when they were dropped from the squad later.

He remembered the flights, the training sessions, the bus drives. Learning to respect coach Treko.

The changing room before the match. Sitting on the bench.

Those garish blue and green Eastfield Lodge kits. Not singing the anthem. Ormache's goal.

Stepping onto the pitch in Astograth's first match scarce minutes before the end. Anger, because they were losing.

Yes, anger. He held onto that feeling as the home team's anthem finished, as they shook hands, as he stood back for kick-off.

And for far longer than he expected as they fell 1-0.

by **Teinohikira** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 1:12 pm

Thomas was put on probation for DUI and was suspended for 1 game. Thomas had had a day to rest before Teinohikira's next game against Starblaydia. He decided not to drink after a loss again. Thomas and Earl had practiced hard and long that day and were ready to play. Though Coach Eklund had second thoughts. "Thomas, I don't think you should play today." Eklund said. Thomas was flabbergasted. "Why? You saw what happened when I didn't play!" "we go our asses kicked!" It was true, Teinohikira hadn't scored once in the game against Civil Citizenry. "I still think you should sit this one out." Eklund said. "Fine. I don't care if you lose every damn game." Thomas yelled. Eklund tried to think of a good comeback, but ended up with "I'm just doing what's best for the team." Thomas stomped out of the locker room and went back to the hotel room. Thomas Talked with Earl about Coach Eklund. "Maybe he just wants you out for a few games." said Earl. "But I'm the best player. Without me this team will fall apart." Thomas objected. "I don't know what else to tell you dude." Earl sighed. "If I were you I'd just forget about the whole thing." "Yeah, or just leave the team." Thomas said. He took a sip from his coke can and walked away to get a shower. Earl was shocked. Was Thomas really going to leave the team? or was he just teasing? Earl wanted to know more. But he didn't want to tell Eklund about what Thomas said. He hoped he could keep this secret. What will happen next? find out when we come back on As the Teiny Turns

by **Pretty Awesome Persons** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 3:31 pm

THE MANY FACES OF TSILEVICH
A satire show

Hey, good to say all of you again, this is The Many Faces of Tsilevich.
Today the Black & Whites faced Meguroko in the World Cup 55 qualifiers. We didn't win. But we didn't lose. We drew 1-1 against Meguroko, meaning we still haven't won a match with Tsilevich manging and Gonzalez captaining.
Before I go on, I might as well show you how the game went down.
Roderick was unstoppable in goal for the first half. Every single shot that came at him was stopped. It seemed he'd go ~~home~~ to his hotel room with a clean sheet.
But then...
Out of nowhere, Winston Hilko comes out of nowhere and blasts one in. When he saw that ball go in, he and all his buddies went to the corner flags and rocked their babies.

Tsilevich wasn't happy.

At this point, Tsilevich got off his seat and began barking orders to everyone. Gonzalez looked at him and told him to chill out. Tsilevich laughed and said, "Chill out, ha, if we don't tie this game, WE'LL chill out." and then proceeded to give him the bird. The ref told Tsilevich to calm down and Tsilevich sat back down, but not before kicking a water bottle into the sky.
Obviously by now, Gonzalez was failing at being captain and living up to his, "We'll score more goals than them," strategy.
Figo saw this and swooped to the rescue, taking more of an SS role instead of an AM role.
He was making his way to goal when he was fouled.
Freekick.
Gonzalez stepped up to take it. He hadn't scored one in a while, could he do it now?
26 meters out, Gonzalez stepped back, ran in, fired with his right foot and...
IT WENT IN.
What made this goal great was that it was in stoppage time.
What made this goal not so great was that we were celebrating a draw with a lowly ranked team.

Doesn't matter, Tsilevich was happy.

Well now, time for a little section I'd like to call...
ULTIMATUMS

So in the post-match press-conference two turning points occured:
-Tsilevich received an ultimatum
-Gonzalez received an ultimatum

It started out fairly calm, with Tsilevich answering some questions, discussing the games a bit but then came "THAT" question.

It seemed like an innocent questions, but the consequences it had were anything but...
*cut to video*
Reporter: Mr. Tsilevich, do you think that your and Gonzalez's work and strategies have worked out?
Tsilevich: You want me to make a self-criticism of my work? And Gonzalez's work?
Reporter: Yes.
Tsilevich: We can do better. ALOT better. Both on the pitch and on our plays.
Reporter: And Gonzalez?
Tsilevich: He could do better. In fact, I want him to do better.
Reporter: Is that an ultimatum?
Tsilevich: It is. If our goal difference doesn't improve and if we don't start winning matches, he can say good bye to captaincy.
Reporter: When will you tell Gonzalez that?
Tsilevich: As soon as I can.
Second Reporter: Mr. Tsilevich, are you aware of what the PAPFA said today?
Tsilevich: No, I'm not aware.
2nd Reporter: He said he wants to be by 5th place in time for the mid-qualifying friendlies or you can go find a new job.
Tsilevich: Well, it seems Gonzalez and I both have to live up to expectations. No further questions.
*cut back*

Well, it seems this will be an interesting World Cup. Will Figo lead us to the promised land? Will some other manager lead us to glory? Or will the Tsilevich-Gonzalez combo lead us to at least a World Cup qualification?

by **Socialist States Owen** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 5:42 pm

WC55 - ROAD TO GLORY

The Emplor's Official World Cup Blog

WC55 Qualifying - Matchday 4 Preview
MISSES, HITS AND MIDLONIA

The FSSO go into their next World Cup game on a low. In their last game against lowly Sensimillistan they wasted a host of chances including an absolute sitter to draw 0-0; Carlos Aduna will hope he dosen't get remined of his mistake too soon. The game was also marred by post match violence and the death of four Sensimillian fans who were shot dead by an unknown gunman, rumoured to be part of a hardcore FSSO supporters group from the town of Holdenburg - which the local council strongly denies.

Next they play Mildonia, the team bottom of the group. Little is known about the opposition the FSSO face, however they are expected to provide a challenge like most opponents. The only change to the FSSO's lineup is a formation change - 4-1-2-1-2 to 3-4-3. Centre back Grant Davis will likely give way to right winger Keiran Kane who will play at right wing, while Lee Sharp plays in the middle and Sam Needle on the left wing.

FSSO World Cup 55 Qualifying Schedule

Next Generation Trophy
Erathore (A) Won 1-0

Pre Qualifying
Pretty Awesome Persons (A) Lost 1-2
Bye
Bye

MD1 Khytenna (A) Lost 0-3
MD2 Bye
MD3 Sensimillistan (A) Draw 0-0
MD4 Midlonia (A)
MD5 Swartz (H)
MD6 Corrupted Alchoholics (A)
MD7 Bears Armed (H)
MD8 St Samuel (A)
MD9 Dimetrija (A)
MD10 Silver Beach (H)
MD11 Whiteinch (A)

Mid Qualifying
Erathore (A)
Stachland (A)
Eastfield Lodge (H)

MD12 Khytennia (H)
MD13 Bye
MD14 Sensimillastan (H)
MD15 Midlonia (H)
MD16 Swartaz (A)
MD17 Corrupted Alchoholics (H)
MD18 Bears Armed (A)
MD19 St Samuel (H)
MD20 Dimetrija (H)
MD21 Silver Beach (A)
MD22 Whiteinch (H)

by **Valladares** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 6:00 pm

Valladares Sports Net

WORLD CUP 55 QUALIFIERS - Hard-fought win over Errinundera puts Valladares in second place in Group 11

GOOD FRIDAY, BAD WEATHER AND A WIN

By: Alan Rosero,
Blogger from "The National Kickoff"

BEZIERES (VP) - Good Friday. One of the most respected public holidays in Valladares...and a flooded city. The match between Valladares and Errinundera was scheduled to be held in such a holy day in the nation, and the Valladar need was double, or even triple: a win to stay in the first places in the group, the team was playing at home and...it could meant a "temporary" joy for the thousands of compatriots affected by the rainy season this year, especially in the venue of the match, the city of Bezieres.

Yesterday morning, the team, in company of His Majesty the King, Charles V and even the rival team, attended the traditional Via Crucis procession through the streets of the city, which looked like rivers. This year's procession was odd, since we're not used to see Christ (well, the statue representing Him) in a boat through the stations of His martyrdom. It seemed to be a sunny day, but the clouds were also willing to say present some hours later at the Jules Picot, to the rivals' amusement and excitement.

Well, with more than 34,000 brave fans who dared to challenge the heavy rain, Valladares and Errinundera played their match. Despite the Errinundians had conceded a lot of goals (10) during their first two qualifying matches, Les Gones knew they would be a hard nut to crack. The first half was an open fight for the ball between the midfielders of both teams and the downpour made things even difficult for players like Yoan Gignac and Jefferson Ospina, whose speed was affected by the rain and the dampened pitch. Thus, we went nil-nil at halftime.

Both teams enjoyed their best chances during the second half. Errinundians najikeve and setoro scared the valladar defense with two chances during the first ten minutes of the final half, while Miguel Flórez and Jefferson Ospina tried to drill the Errinundian defense with two powerful shots. Yoan Gignac's problems with the pitch increased during the second half, and José Marín decided to send Frank Zapata in his place. With Zapata's entry, Les Gones had more depth and their offensive volume increased. However, the score remained untouched while both goalkeepers were having a great match. When everyone (including me) were thinking the match would finish with a goalless stalemate, jeanep committed a crude foul on Jefferson Ospina inside his team's own penalty area. The referee didn't doubt to award Les Gones with a penalty, giving jeanep a yellow card in the process. The public at the stadium repeatedly asked for a red card, but the referee didn't change his mind. Ospina would go and score the penalty, giving the valladars a great and fought win. It's worth to mention the kind gesture from the EFA and its players to donate their payments to the flood relief. Their help will be greatly appreciated.

With the first of three must-win matches at home already won, the valladars will prepare now the match against Taeshan in Campo Grande. With 7 points in three matches and the second place of Group 11, a victory in Campo Grande will help Valladares to stay strong with one of the two qualifying places, although the team is not in its best form yet...but we can do it. C'mon!

VALLADARES: 1 (Ospina 88')
ERRINUNDERA: 0

Venue: Stade Jules Picot
Attendance: 34,039
Kickoff Time: 19:30 VST (19:30 local time)
Man of the Match: Jefferson Ospina (VLD) (9)

VALLADARES: Fuentes; Calheira, Correa, Perrin (Lennon 84'), Edwards; Rivas (Lamont 46'), Taylor, Peterson; Gignac (Zapata 74'), Flórez, Ospina
Coach: José Marín (SRG)

PRE-QUAL: Valladares 3-2 Delaclava - Venue: Metropolis Dome, Metropolis (Cap. 65,000)
PRE-QUAL: Valladares 1-1 Cotdelapoms - Venue: Stade de la Frontière, Fontvielle (Cap. 36,500)
PRE-QUAL: Novikov 1-2 Valladares - Venue: Velká Noviková Stadion, Poldi'sk, Novikov

MD1: Valladares 1-1 Virabia - Venue: Albert Field, Edmonton (Cap. 20,000)
MD2: Seleucius 1-2 Valladares - Venue: Somewhere in Seleucius
MD3: Valladares 1-0 Errinundera - Venue: Stade Jules Picot, Bezieres (Cap. 38,000)
MD4: Valladares vs. Taeshan - Venue: Estádio Armando Bozzelli, Campo Grande (Cap. 50,000)
MD5: BYE
MD6: Valladares vs. Landau Institute - Venue: Olympic Stadium, Carloburgo (Cap. 62,000)
MD7: Sarzoclava vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD8: Valladares vs. The Kiaser Colonies - Venue: Estadio Gobernador Villa, Pradera (Cap. 25,572)
MD9: Espiañola vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD10: Dorian and Sonya vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD11: Valladares vs. Churchma - Venue: Alain Tramontin Stadium, Eterna City (Cap. 55,000)

MID-QUAL: Valladares vs. Mytannion - Venue: Stade de l'Amitié, Fontvielle (Cap: 29,185)
MID-QUAL: Valladares vs. Bergnovinaia - Venue: Estádio do Maldonado, Maldonado (Cap: 23,000)
MID-QUAL: Whirl Islands vs. Valladares (Heritage Cup) - Venue: Portomar Field, Navel Island, Whirl Islands (Cap. 21,800)

MD12: Virabia vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD13: Valladares vs. Seleucius - Venue: Dragon Stadium, Canalave (Cap. 35,000)
MD14: Errinundera vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD15: Taeshan vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD16: BYE
MD17: Landau Institute vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD18: Valladares vs. Sarzoclava - Venue: Westlands Stadium, Hoxford (Cap. 17,000)
MD19: The Kiaser Colonies vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD20: Valladares vs. Espiañola - Venue: Estadio de la Riviera, Slateport (Cap. 40,000)
MD21: Valladares vs. Dorian and Sonya - Venue: Alexander I National Stadium, Swangard-Metropolis (Cap: 85,000)
MD22: Churchma vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC

POST-QUAL: Bears Armed vs. Valladares - Venue: Wimbley Stadium, Council Groves, Bears Armed
POST-QUAL: Eastfield Lodge vs. Valladares - Venue: Lodger City Memorial Stadium, Eastfield Lodge
POST-QUAL: Valladares vs. Teinohikira - Venue: Danube Canyon Stadium, Columbus (Cap. 20,500)

by **Unibot II** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 6:16 pm

The audience was cheerfully screaming the new Unibotian motto, "THE FIRE AND THE BRIMSTONE! THE FIRE AND THE BRIMSTONE!", one of the tabby psychics was standing on the bench, shouting at the crowd, waving her hands frantically... denouncing everything from consumerism to jazz. But it was not doing any good, for the Unibotian team was loosing handily to the Holy Empire.

Alekseevič Gladkov, the Head Coach eyed the score. 1-0, thus far. It was the first time in this World Cup qualifying matches that they had a goal scored against them. The team's ability to reconcile with their initial stumble was sorely lacking. By gawd, Adamovič was crying on the shoulder of another striker at the bench. Something needed to be done, but what? The boys needed something to cheer themselves up, get them focused about winning again. That was when the team's equipment manager, Varlam Skobelev ran up to Gladkov, with a facial expression that shone with urgency.

"Boss, Lazar is 'etting torment'd by 'ose professseeers. 'ee ain't liking their phillosophia stuff." Skobelev said.

"Philosophy? How can they be tormenting him with philosophy!?" Gladkov asked.

"Eh.. 'ey asking him if 'ee was Achilles 'nd 'ey were a toortoise, if Achilles would win the race?" Skobelev said.

"Hhhm? Obviously Achilles would win. How can that be a tormenting question?" Gladkov said with a confused look on his face.

"Oh, erm." Skobelev scratched his head, ".. eh, I 'ink screwed it up. I .. erm, don't rememmber 'ow it goes."

Gladkov shook his head, "Nonetheless, tell him to reply the tormenting question, with 'how many grains can one count before it becomes a pile, and if one grain can be removed to reduce a pile to some lesser form'?"

"Whhy say that, sir?"

"Because like a grain of salt and a pile, no one goal decides a match till it's all over... and I want those professors to be reminded of that." Gladkov said, winking.

Skobelev nodded, "right? But can you 'rite 'at down sir?"

by **Mangolana** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 6:37 pm

Mangolana Gazzette
Mangolana wins in good showing.

Mangolana has won there first game of the current World Cup Qualifications, beating Ko-oren 2-0. Mangolana dominated for most of the game winning the battle in all areas of the game, but mostly in the midfield. Mangolana was able to keep the ball in the Ko-oren half of the pitch for 78.1% of the game. A game that had surprisingly a few amount of fouls, had half of them result in cards. "We played really well out there today, especially the midfield, we earned are thrre points, and hopefully now we can build up some good momentum. We would have not been able to win today without are midfield or are prepeartion, which are the two areas we will now focus on in hope that it will lead to good things", was quoted post game from Mangolana manager Robert Jimenez.

Game Recap
28th minute- Goal (Ordonez; Mangolana)
36th minute- Foul Fuller (Yellow; Mangolana)
45th minute- Foul johnson (Yellow; Mangolana)
Halftime
47th minute- Goal (McFadden; Mangolana)
61st minute- Foul Zhang (Yellow; Ko-oren)
86th minute- Foul Dakin (Yellow; Mangolana)
Full Time

World Cup 55 RP Thread

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