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Hansard of the 60th Parliament of the Kingdom of Alizeria

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Hansard of the 60th Parliament of the Kingdom of Alizeria

Postby Alizeria » Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:04 pm

PARLIAMENTARY DEBATES
(HANSARD)

Image

HOUSE OF PEASANTS
OFFICIAL REPORT

IN THE FIRST SESSION OF THE SIXTIETH PARLIAMENT OF THE KINGDOM OF ALIZERIA
[WHICH OPENED 15 APRIL 2014]


SECOND YEAR OF THE REIGN OF
HIS ROYAL MAJESTY KING NIKOLAS II




THE MINISTRY:


Minister and constituencyPortfolio
The Rt Hon Anthony Ashton, BarringtonPrime Minister
First Lord of the Treasury
Keeper of the Great Seal of State
Minister responsible for the Royal Alizerian Intelligence Service
Minister in charge of the Crown Bureau of Communications Security
Minister for the Civil Service
The Rt Hon Michael Neilson, HendersonDeputy Prime Minister
Attorney-General
Lord President of the Council
The Hon Donald Douglas, Krostuk CentralChancellor of the Exchequer
Second Lord of the Treasury
The Hon William Eastwood, West AuckontoSecretary of State for Foreign and Cornellian Affairs
The Hon Judith Brierly, East CentertonSecretary of State for the Home Department
Minister of Women and Minority Affairs
The Hon Damien Rohan, Westland ForestMinister of Defence
The Hon Tania Paxman, SymondMinister of Health
The Hon William Dolan, SelwynMinister of Business, Innovation and Economic Development
Minister of Consumer Affairs
Third Lord of the Treasury
The Hon Shirley Young, Central EvertonMinister of Education
The Hon Viscount of WilliamshireLord Chancellor
Minister of Justice
The Hon Cassandra Hall, BottingshireMinister of the Environment, Energy and Climate Change
The Hon Stephen Deans, EllerslieMinister of Transport
The Hon Jenny Richardson, BelshannonMinister of Social Development
Minister of Housing
The Hon Alexander Smith, North CoastMinister of Culture, Heritage and the Arts
Minister of Broadcasting
The Hon David Hubbard, CokesvilleMinister of Local Government
Minister of Primary Industries
The Hon Nikolas Hanson, NewburyMinister of Labour
The Hon Christopher Howard, OsbourneMinister of International Development
The Rt Hon Earl of LiverseaLeader of the House of Nobles
The Rt Hon Bishop of OtagoLeader of the House of Clergy
The Hon George Clark, Saint MartinsLeader of the House of Peasants




MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE OF PEASANTS:

Speaker of the House: Rt. Hon. Robert Stephen Jordan, KC
Deputy Speaker and Chairman of Committees: Hon. Dominic James Nash
Prime Minister: Rt. Hon. Anthony David Ashton
Leader of the Opposition: Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Matthew Vermile KOSJ, AOM


The Liberal Party
The Conservative Party

1. Aaronson, Wayne Walktrap
2. Allan, Benjamin Caroline
3. Anthony, Bert Wichbury Coast
4. Anshel, Karl Raysbury
5. Battersby, Kevin Central and Eastern Liversea
6. Bethel, Wilson Groome (Chief Whip)
7. Breandan, Ian Burgess
8. Cameron, Nick Maynard
9. Cathan, Hayley Thorsen
10. Ceallagh, Godfrey Farmerston
11. Conleth, Geoffrey Alexander
12. Cormag, Hon Amos Digby Saint Daniel
13. Cledwyn, Winfred Sydenham
14. Davidson, Rhys Thorne
15. Dean, Elton Ravensdown
16. Devon, Sean Goodinson
17. Dewayne, Hon Niall Pierre Ashburton
18. Dewydd, Barney Blackmoor
19. Dixon, Hon Jennifer Margaret Bradley
20. Drogo, Neville Foxworthy
21. Eitan, Lance Eadie
22. Elliot, Stephen East Avonhead
23. Ellis, Dorian Western Bays
24. Erle, Raymond Saint Matthews
25. Evander, Trevor Botannia
26. Finlayson, Dax Huntsbury
27. Fletcher, Hon Johnathan Fraser Cameron
28. Gallagher, Heather Regina
29. Geula, Lisa Avondale
30. Goibniu, Windsor Grey Eden
31. Gratinus, Sean Belinda
32. Gray, Emma Eastmorland
33. Haley, Kathleen Bexley
34. Harley, Hon Donald Luke Bevan
35. Humphries, Hon James Paul Hetfield
36. Ingham, Millicent Northwest Masonville
37. Iou, Branson Lennon
38. Jarlath, Mack Hanson
39. King, Jatan Coatesville (Junior Whip)
40. Lester, Hon Jeffrey Grant Glen Eden
41. Mikhah, Jordon Johnsonville
42. Milburga, Valerie Plainbury
43. Moshe, Shaun Lyall
44. Nervan, Gerald Alannah
45. Nye, Dibby West Liversea
46. Ovadia, William Christchurch
47. Peregrine, Bartholemew Hobson
48. Quincey, Ainley Auckland Coast
49. Randolph, Hon Mason Lewis Northbourne
50. Richardson, Hon James Gregory King Country
51. Sheryll, Emily Riccarton
52. Silvanus, Hon Roger Frank Woolworth
53. Titanus, Peter Shelby
54. Truman, Samuel Cass Bay
55. Trystan, Jacob Genevieve
56. Turner, Clyde Eastwood
57. Ulick, Wallace Edgecumbe
58. Vermile, Rt Hon Sir Edward Matthew Hammond (Leader of the Opposition)
59. Wesley, Rhys South Palacewood
60. Wilfred, Curtis Richardson
61. Willis, Hon Geoffrey Peter Franklin
62. Yahweh, Izzy Wellington
63. Yedidyah, Kenton Bexhill


1. Abishai, Joshua Masonville
2. Amit, Christopher Beachland
3. Ashton, Rt Hon Anthony David Barrington (Prime Minister)
4. Avner, Kimberley Croydon
5. Avraham, Nathaniel Spencerville
6. Baldwin, Fran Centerton City
7. Barclay, Jackson Terrance
8. Beauregard, Jared South Feadwich
9. Bethany, Maura Everton South
10. Braden, Denholm Krostuk West
11. Bradley, Russell Georgesville
12. Brierly, Hon Judith Penelope East Centerton
13. Bristol, Peter Albany
14. Burton, Jessica Studholme
15. Carson, Alan Robertson
16. Charis, Cameron Royal Oak
17. Chayim, Louis Morningside
18. Clark, Hon George Peter Saint Martins (Leader of the House)
19. Cline, Cameron Southe
20. Cowell, Flynn North Harbour
21. Craig, Rupert Point Sally
22. Curt, Frederick Central Wichbury
23. Davin, Paul Norskeburg Harbour
24. Delbert, Richard Newtown
25. Dermot, Kieran Stepney
26. Desmond, Jebediah Alice
27. Dolan, Hon William Robert Selwyn
28. Douglas, Hon Donald Nigel Krostuk Central
29. Eastwood, Hon William Alexander West Auckonto
30. Esau, Gerald Dorston
31. Evelyn, Tina Burnley
32. Ezekiel, Tyrone Palmer
33. Feibush, Jason Hastington
34. Fenton, Robert Kingshill
35. Finnigan, George North Feadwich
36. Fionn, Hannah Shadow Valley
37. Flowers, Gemma East Auckonto
38. Freeman, Patrick Krystel Central
39. Geriant, Jay Whitney
40. Glynn, Tobias Crown Forest
41. Haim, Josiah Barryarm
42. Hall, Hon Cassandra Jessica Bottingshire
43. Hall, Dafydd Chippington
44. Hanson, Hon Nikolas John Newbury
45. Harris, Kate Central Harbour
46. Howard, Hon Christopher Michael Osbourne
47. Hubbard, Hon David Roland Cokesville
48. Iago, Adam Watev
49. Israel, Evan King's Bay
50. Jeremias, Zavier West Coast
51. Jordan, Rt Hon Robert Stephen Centaurus (Speaker of the House)
52. Jules, Sinead Paddytown
53. Kaden, Paul Everton East
54. Katee, Cara Diamond Hill
55. Kennard, Brandon Chumley (Chief Whip)
56. Kenton, Shari Cracroft
57. Kippington, Thomas North Masonville
58. Landen, Elton Northhead
59. Laurie, Darien Weston
60. Lawson, Lanny McKenzie
61. Lilly, Rhonda Beachmont
62. Madock, Luke South Krystel
63. Maeghan, Norene Cadogan
64. Mannix, Jason Fielding
65. Nash, Hon. Dominic JamesTaylor
66. Neilson, Rt Hon Michael Jacob Henderson
67. Newton, Joshua Central Norskeburg
68. McCain, Sylvester Muirhead
69. Noah, Roseanne Sumner
70. Nollaig, John Prebbleton
71. Obadiah, Kevin Balmoral
72. O'Brien, Vaughan Collins (Junior Whip)
73. Parnell, Katelyn Albert
74. Paxman, Hon Dr. Tania Deliah Symond
75. Peronel, Briana Margo
76. Pearce, Stewart Port Leslie
77. Quintilian, Terrance Woodend
78. Raziela, Carina Brougham
79. Reagan, Johanna Somerfield
80. Richardson, Hon Jennifer Helena Belshannon
81. Rohan, Hon Damien Lloyd Westland Forest
82. Selwyn, Pierce Blenheim
83. Sheona, Denise Halswell
84. Shevaun, Lucinda Auckonto Central
85. Smith, Hon Alexander Daniel North Coast
86. Stephanie, Winston Port Krostuk
87. Tasman, Roderick Remuera
88. Thaddeus, Aurelia North Krystel
89. Tyrell, Patrick O'Neill
90. Uriah, Seamus Moran
91. Whitney, Antonia Bridgewater
92. Williams, John Kelburn
93. Wolfe, Cassandra Disraeli Forest
94. Yankel, Isaac North Palacewood
95. Young, Hon Shirley Catherine Central Everton

PRINCIPAL OFFICERS:
Clerk of the House of Peasants: Sir Robert Wilfred Harris KOSJ
Clerk Assistant: James Harold Jackson
Chief Librarian: Phoebe Jaylene
Editor of the Hansard: Ian Crawford
Sergeant-at-Arms: Wing Commander Maurice Leonard Rowland OKA
Gentleman Usher of the Black Rod: Sergeant Major Alexander Steven O'Brien OKA




MEMBERSHIP OF SELECT COMMITTEES:


COMMERCE: Wayne Aaronson (Deputy Chairperson), Christopher Amit, Alan Carson, Hon. Jennifer Dixon, Zavier Jeremias (Chairperson), Sylvester McCain, Samuel Truman

EDUCATION AND SCIENCE: Peter Bristol, Jessica Burton, Dorian Ellis (Deputy Chairperson), Shari Kenton (Chairperson), Gerald Nervan, Hon. James Richardson, Roseanne Noah

FINANCE AND EXPENDITURE: Joshua Abishai, Nick Cameron, Denholm Braden (Chairperson), Dax Finlayson, Josiah Haim, Hon. Jim Humphries (Deputy Chairperson), Izzy Yahweh

FOREIGN AFFAIRS, DEFENCE AND TRADE: Jackson Barclay (Chairperson), Hayley Cathan, Rupert Craig, Patrick Freeman, Jordan Mikhah (Deputy Chairperson), Johanna Reagan, Jacob Trystan

GOVERNMENT ADMINISTRATION: Fran Baldwin (Chairperson), Geoffrey Conleth, Lisa Guela, Gemma Flowers, Mack Jarleth (Deputy Chairperson), Jason Mannix, Winston Stephanie

HEALTH: Nathaniel Avraham, Kevin Battersby (Deputy Chairperson), Maura Bethany (Chairperson), Cameron Cline, Stephen Elliot, Tobias Glynn, Dibby Nye

JUSTICE: Kimberley Avner, Rhys Davidson, Russell Bradley (Chairperson), Jay Geriant, Sean Gratinus (Deputy Chairperson), Seamus Uriah, John Williams

LAW AND ORDER: Benjamin Allan, Jared Beauregard, Richard Delbert (Chairperson), Heather Gallagher (Deputy Chairperson), Kate Harris, Valerie Milburga, Kenton Yedidya

ENVIRONMENT: Karl Anshel, Cameron Charis, Winfred Cledwyn (Deputy Chairperson), Jason Feibush, Millicent Ingham, Sinead Jules (Chairperson), Cara Katee

SOCIAL SERVICES: Louis Chayim, Robert Fenton (Chairperson), Hannah Fionn, Emma Gray, Branson Iou, Bartholemew Peregrine, Emily Sheryll (Deputy Chairperson)

TRANSPORT AND INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS: Flynn Cowell, Trevor Evander (Deputy Chairperson), Gerald Esau, Hon. Donald Harley, Thomas Kippington (Chairperson), Terrance Quintilian, Clyde Turner

STANDING ORDERS: Wilson Bethel, Hon. George Clark, Rt. Hon. Robert Jordan (Chairperson), Jatan King, Brendon Kennard, Vaughan O'Brien

BUSINESS: Wilson Bethel, Hon. George Clark, Rt. Hon. Robert Jordan (Chairperson), Jatan King, Brendon Kennard, Hon. Dominic Nash, Vaughan O'Brien, Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile



Last edited by Alizeria on Wed Feb 22, 2017 6:38 am, edited 15 times in total.
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

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Alizeria
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Founded: Jan 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Alizeria » Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:23 pm

OPENING OF PARLIAMENT:

The Sixtieth Parliament opened at 11.00 a.m. on Tuesday, 15 April 2014 in the city of Krostuk pursuant to a proclamation, dated 30 March 2014, issued by His Royal Majesty King Nikolas the Second.

Mr Alexander O'Brien, Gentleman Usher of the Black Rod, announced the arrival of His Royal Majesty’s Commissioners. The Bar was raised and the Commissioners took their places at the head of the Table.

The Right Honourable Sir Mark Johnson, Knight Grand Companion of the Alizerian Order of Merit, Chief Justice of Alizeria, the Chief Commissioner, said—


"Members of the House of Peasants:

His Royal Majesty the King, not thinking fit to be present here this day in person, has been pleased, in relation to the opening of the Sixtieth Parliament of Alizeria, to cause Letters Patent to be passed under the Great Seal of the Kingdom of Alizeria, constituting us,

The Right Honourable Sir Mark Samuel Johnson, Knight Grand Companion of the Alizerian Order of Merit, the Chief Justice of Alizeria,

The Honourable Thaddeus Michael Minogue, President of the Court of Appeal of Alizeria, and

The Honourable Helena Alice Carter, Chief High Court Judge of Alizeria

to be His Royal Majesty’s Commissioners to do all things in His Royal Majesty’s name necessary to be performed at the opening of this Parliament. This will more fully appear by the Letters Patent themselves which must now be read.

The Letters Patent were then read by the Clerk of the House of Peasants.

The Proclamation summoning Parliament was then read by the Chief Commissioner as follows:

HRM King Nikolas II

A PROCLAMATION

Pursuant to section 18 of the Constitution Act 1912, I, King Nikolas II, by the Grace of God, Protector of Alizeria, Defender of the Faith and four time winner of 'Broom' Magazine's Shagger of the Year Award, summon the Parliament of the Kingdom of Alizeria to meet in the parliamentary precincts in the City of Krostuk, at 11.00 am on 15 April 2014.

Given under the hand of His Royal Majesty the King, and issued under the Great Seal of Alizeria, on 30 March 2014.

The Chief Commissioner then said—

"Members of the House of Peasants:

We have it in command from His Royal Majesty the King to inform you that on 16 April 2014 at 11:00 am, His Royal Majesty the King will declare to you in person the cause of his summoning this Parliament to meet.

But since it is necessary that a Speaker of the House of Peasants be first chosen, His Royal Majesty requests that you, members of Parliament, now proceed to choose one of your members to fill that high and important office, and that having chosen that person, you present that person at 2:00 pm, today, 15 March 2014 at Palatine Palace in Krostuk for His Royal Majesty’s confirmation.

The Commissioners then withdrew.
Last edited by Alizeria on Tue May 30, 2017 7:21 am, edited 3 times in total.
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

User avatar
Alizeria
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1434
Founded: Jan 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Alizeria » Tue Apr 15, 2014 3:40 am

ELECTION OF SPEAKER:

The CLERK: "Honourable members, the House must now proceed to elect a Speaker. I invite the Father of the House, the Honourable Geoffrey Peter Willis, pursuant to Standing Order No. 1A, to take the chair."

Hon. Geoffrey Willis [Conservative - Franklin]: "Honourable members it now falls upon us to elect a Speaker under the terms of Standing Order No. 1A. I recognise and call upon the government Chief Whip."

Mr. BRANDON KENNARD [Liberal - Chumley]: "I beg to move, That Robert Jordan, the member for Centaurus, be selected for the office of Speaker.

"I cannot think of a single member more qualified for this great and high office than the member for Centaurus, who is a man so well-versed in the standing orders of this House that he has on previous occasions been known to correct previous speakers.

"I do of course nominate the member cognizant of the fact that the office of Speaker is not quite so hazardous as it was several centuries ago, when the Monarch was known to behead Speakers who spoke views critical or contrary to those held by the Monarch of the day. Indeed it will fall on the honourable member to ensure that, as the debates in this chamber become more spirited, none of us lose our heads in excitement.

"We are extraordinarily lucky in this country. We have not seen the scandals and corruption of the likes being experienced currently in Nalaya, or the violent revolution occurring in The Shrailleeni Empire. We are a country accustomed to regular political change and though debate may be a fierce war of words, in 800 years we have never seen violence in our Parliament."

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile [Leader of the Opposition]: "Don't get too comfortable. I may be old but I know how to throw a punch!"

Mr. KENNARD: "The Leader of the Opposition says he knows how to throw a punch, and he may well be correct but his long career will come to a swift end should he try anything of the sort. Because one of the many attributes that the Member for Centaurus will bring to the role of Speaker is that he is not a lawyer. Therefore justice will be swift and it will succinct and it will not involve the waffling and faffing about that lawyers are wont to bring to the role.

"I therefore commend him to the House."

Mr. VAUGHAN O'BRIEN [Liberal - Collins]: "I second the motion, That Robert Jordan, the member for Centaurus, be selected for the office of Speaker.

"Mr. Jordan has been in the House a considerable time longer than I have and his knowledge of it, its history and of course its standing orders is second to none. If he is able to make wayward members tremble even half as much as he has been known to make experienced Speakers tremble in the past, then I am confident he will go down in history as one of the greatest Speakers to have ever graced the House of Peasants.

"What is remarkable about him is of course the fact that he is in many respects an unassuming man, an ordinary Alizerian who understands what it is to be an ordinary Alizeria. He is not a member of the clergy. He is not a Baron, nor even a Knight and much less an Earl or Marquess. He is just an ordinary bloke from the heartland who owned a shop and fed his family and then chose to represent the people in his community.

"And in so many ways this is perfectly fitting because as the Speaker of the House of Peasants his job is quite literally to speak on behalf of the peasants of Alizeria to His Royal Majesty. And he is truly a peasant - and I do not mean that as a derogatory term but in terms of just how suitable he is to be the man representing the interests of the peasants to the King.

"I commend him to the House."

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile [Leader of the Opposition]: "I have to confess that I laughed when I saw that the Liberal Party were considering the Member from Centaurus for the office of Speaker. On one hand I should not be surprised - he has worn this ambition on his sleeve for as long as I have known him, and I've known him since at least 1981.

"The Member has been in his House as long as I have - in fact we entered parliament together and we were both backbenchers together. I have seen his triumphs and his many failures. He is a man who has become well-versed in the standing orders only because he has broken them on so many occasions and shown such little regard for them.

"I should also note that three years ago the Liberals attempted to block the Conservative Party's nominee for Speaker. I say this only because we will not be doing so as we believe it is important that a Speaker have confidence of the whole house.

"Certainly we could do worse than to elect the Member for Centaurus and he is a man I feel to be qualified for the task. I therefore commend the decision, announce my support for him and wish him well in his role to which he will be much suited."

Rt. Hon. ANTHONY ASHTON [Prime Minister]: "Well I for one am not sure how to react to the speech which I just heard. The Leader of the Opposition began by damning the Member for Centaurus, telling us about how he was not suitable, then announced he was supporting him anyway before going on to praise him.

"Will the Leader of the Opposition please make up his mind? It is truly terrifying to note that a man who cannot remain consistent long enough to make a decision on whether or not he supports the Speaker has been at the centre of the nation's decision-making process for the last 15 years!

"But I nevertheless lend my support to the motion that the Member for Centaurus be selected our speaker. I cannot imagine how proud must the people of Centaurus must be to know their long-serving local MP is being considered for one of the highest offices in the land. There is no doubt his voice will be heard much more frequently from now on in this house, if not necessary directly on their behalf, but yet now on behalf of all peasants in this Kingdom.

"I too commend him to the House."

Rt. Hon. ROBERT JORDAN [Liberal - Centaurus]: "I would like to begin by congratulating you, Geoffrey Willis, on being elevated to the position of Father of the House. While I like to think of myself as an experienced MP, I pale in comparison to you, who have been in this House since 1960. When you entered Parliament, Sir John King was still the Prime Minister and you have seen many others come and go, as well as many great members.

I would be lying if I were to say that there is a sense of trepidation at the prospect that I become the Speaker and it's not for the reasons outlined by the Member for Chumley.

"The House of Peasants is the newest chamber of the Parliament of the Kingdom of Alizeria, dating back only to the late 18th Century, but our Parliament is one of the oldest in the world. In that time we have seen some great men take this office. Some who were beheaded by ungrateful Monarchs, and others such as Sir Basil Rookwood, who bravely presided over the House while the forces of the Cornellian Empire were persecuting our nation's people and knowing he could be killed at any moment.

"To be able to list my name alongside men like that is both humbling and frightening and I hope that I can live up to their name, though I am not certain I can. If all else fails, I hope I can at least be an adequate Speaker.

"I thank the Member from Chumley and the Member for Collins for their kind words. I won't comment on the Leader of the Opposition's speech other than leave myself at the mercy of the House."

The question was put That Robert Jordan, the member for Centaurus, be selected for the office of Speaker..

Motion agreed to.

Geoffrey Willis left the chair and ROBERT JORDAN was conducted to the chair by BRANDON KENNARD and VAUGHAN O'BRIEN.

Mr. SPEAKER-ELECT: "As I take the chair, I would like to thank the honourable members of this House for the great honour they have bestowed upon me.

"It is my pledge that I will discharge my duties impartially, not just between parties, but also in upholding the right of backbench MPs to hold the government to account.

"As Speaker I am the servant not of the government, but of this House and therefore of the people of this Kingdom and I am well aware of my place in this regard.

"As Speaker-elect, I will of course oblige with the request made and at 2 o'clock I will present myself at Palatine Palace and seek the confirmation of His Royal Majesty the King and to lay claim, on your behalf, to the rights and privileges of this House. Again, I thank you all."

Rt. Hon. ANTHONY ASHTON [Prime Minister]: "Mr. Speaker-elect, may I be the first in this house to congratulate you on you successful election as Speaker. I should note it is your second election victory in the space of a month - I do remember on election night being concerned that, despite all the successes the Liberal Party was having, the safe Liberal seat of Centaurus may well fall to the Tories.

"Well that is behind us and I am certain that the people of Centaurus will be proud to be represented by none other than the Speaker of the House of Peasants. I therefore wish you much success in your new role but I have no doubt that you will be a very successful Speaker.

I also wish to acknowledge the Member for Franklin and congratulate him on becoming Father of the House. This is the first time I have ever seen a Liberal government in this house, in spite of the fact that I am leading it, and yet he has seen countless Liberal and Conservative governments come and go over the last half century.

"Obviously I hope we will not be going any time soon but I nevertheless pay tribute to a member who has served his country longer and more diligently than most of us here could ever hope to."

Rt. Hon Sir Edward Vermile [Leader of the Opposition]: "I also wish you every success in your new role, Mr. Speaker-elect. I have confidence in your ability to preside over this house fairly and impartially.

"I am certain of your commitment to this House and to democracy and the ideals of this Kingdom and I know that, just as you and I were backbenchers together all those years ago, you will not forget about the backbenchers in this house and will be sure to ensure that their voices are heard, regardless of whether or not it conveniences the government.

"I also pay tribute to my friend and fellow Tory, Geoffrey Willis who was something of a mentor to me when I first arrived in this House. Back then he was a Minister with 20 years experience on me and he has been there as I have risen to being a Minister, and then a Prime Minister and then stood by me as I returned to the Opposition. I only hope he is still here in 2017 to see me lead the Tories back into government when Alizeria finally ends its infatuation with liberalism."

Mr. SPEAKER-ELECT: "I thank all of you for your kind words and encouragement. I pray for divine wisdom and guidance over myself and this House as we enter this new session of Parliament. Amen."

The House adjourned at 12:12pm
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

User avatar
Alizeria
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1434
Founded: Jan 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Alizeria » Thu Apr 17, 2014 3:29 am

START OF THE DAY:

Mr. SPEAKER took the chair at 11am.

Mr. SPEAKER: "Almighty God, Humbly acknowledging the need for Thy guidance in all things, and laying aside all private and personal interests, we beseech Thee that we conduct the affairs of this House and of the country to the glory of Thy holy name, the maintenance of true religion and justice, in the honour of the King and the public welfare, peace and tranquillity of Alizeria through the Son Jesus, the Mother Mary and Brother Jeff."

Hon. Members: "Amen."

ELECTION OF THE SPEAKER:

Mr. SPEAKER: ":I have to report that, accompanied by members, I was present at Palatine Palace where I waited upon His Royal Majesty, when I addressed His Royal Majesty as follows:

In obedience to Your Royal Majesty’s request, the House of Peasants, in the exercise of its undoubted rights and privileges, has proceeded to the election of a Speaker, and, as the subject of its choice, I now present myself to you and submit myself for Your Majesty’s confirmation.


To which His Royal Majesty replied as follows:

Mr. Speaker, it is with much pleasure that I approve the choice by Members of the House of Peasants of you as its Speaker. I congratulate you on your election to this office, marking as it does the appreciation of the House of Peasants of your impartiality and ability.


I have further to report that I also addressed His Royal Majesty as follows:

I humbly thank Your Majesty for your confirmation of the choice made by the Members of the House of Peasants of me to be their Speaker.

I have now, on their behalf, to lay claim to all their privileges, and especially to freedom of speech in debate, to free access to Your Royal Majesty whenever occasion may require it, and to the most favourable construction being put on all their proceedings.


To which His Royal Majesty replied as follows:

Mr. Speaker, I confirm all the rights and privileges of the House of Peasants which have ever been granted.


I assure you that the Federal Parliament shall always have ready access to me, and that I will at all times place the most favourable construction upon its proceedings.


Once again I thank the Honourable members for the great honour it has done me by electing me as its Speaker."

STATE OPENING:

A message from His Royal Majesty the King desiring the immediate attendance of honourable members in the House of Nobles was delivered by Mr Alexander O'Brien, Gentleman Usher of the Black Rod.

Accordingly, Mr Speaker and honourable members, preceded by the Sergeant-at-Arms, proceeded to the House of Nobles, and, after a short absence, returned.
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

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Alizeria
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Postby Alizeria » Thu Apr 17, 2014 3:35 am

THE KING'S SPEECH:

Mr. SPEAKER: "Honourable members, I desire to report that when the House did attend His Royal Majesty the King this day at the House of Nobles, His Royal Majesty was pleased to make a Most Gracious Speech from the Throne, the text of which was handed to me by His Majesty, and I now lay such text upon the Table of the House. The text of the speech is:

My Lords, Members of the House of Clergy and Members of the House of Peasants -

It gives me great pleasure to exercise My Royal prerogative and officially open the 60th Parliament of the Kingdom of Alizeria. The voices of My subjects were heard in the recent General Election and the desire for a change of government was made blatantly clear.

My government's focus will be upon reforming and modernising our Kingdom to make it better fit in this 21st century world we live in. This will take the form of economic changes as well as social changes, including abolishing our archaic and racist immigration system and rethinking our policies towards women and minorities.

The single most pressing issue which faces our nation is the economy. Inflationary pressures are high, the national debt and deficit are staggering, employment is low and economic growth has been in negative figures long enough for Alizeria to officially be considered to be in recession. While My government will continue the temporary wage and price freeze implemented by the outgoing government, it is the view of My government that this is only a short-term solution and long-term solutions must be found.

My government pledges, in relation to the economy, to:
  • Place before Alizeria the full truth about our economic situation
  • Engage in dialogue with knowledgeable and affected individuals in regards to shaping policies that will give greater long-term strength to our international trading and internal financial positions
  • Continue our country's tradition of service to the needy by ensuring that the most vulnerable members of our society remain protected and that the burden of the changes is shared equally

My Lords, Clergy and Honourable Members, the economy of Alizeria suffers from severe structural imblanaces which have manifested themselves in the form of an external trade deficit, large fiscal deficits, high inflation, high unemployment and low economic growth. My government is committed to overcoming these economic imbalances by committing to a programme of effecting management and introducing integrated freemarket economic policies.

My government is committed to putting in place policies which face up to our fundamental economic problems head on, but remain committed to helping those most in need as is a long-standing great tradition in this country.

My government is aware that it is essential that we face up to economic realities and make the hard decisions that must necessarily be made. It will be no easy task and sacrifice will be required of all of My subjects, however it is necessary that we go through this period of sacrifice and struggle in order to see increased employment and, in the medium term, sustained economic growth with internal and external balance.

Restraint in wages will be necessary however My government will ensure that the burden of such a request will be shared fairly throughout the community. My government will provide assistance to those worst affected through social welfare and tax assistance. But we cannot tackle unemployment until we have achieved sustainable economic growth.

Alizeria currently faces a trade deficit and My government pledges to reverse this by engaging in trade talks with other countries in the region and in the world, in order to expand our export markets. In the mean time My government will slash tariffs and embrace the global economy. It is essential that we become responsive to market demands. Protectionism must be combated as it poses a threat to our exporters' ability to gain fair access to overseas markets. Bilateral relations will also be pursued vigorously in the short term for the purpose of gaining more and better export markets. My government, though cognizant of holy law and the importance it has on most Alizerians, will loosen restrictions on the meat industry, accepting that we must be pragmatic and not idealistic, and that no longer can we afford for vegetarianism to be made compulsory at the expense of minorities and of economic opportunity.

My Lords, Clergy and Honourable Members, My government will give priority to measures which will increase employment. While there is no simple solution to this problem, We must undertake co-ordinated policies on several fronts which will allow Alizeria to be on the forefront of innovation, which will create jobs, rather than continuing to cling on to the bygone ways of a bygone world. A quarterly survey of the labour force will be conducted in order to provide us with more comprehensive statistics.

My government is committed to controlling inflation, and while in the short term it is proposed that permanent price and wage fixing agreements between the government, unions and businesses must be made, over the coming months and years this government will embark on a market based solution to the question of wages and prices, while at the same time giving greater independence to the Bank of Alizeria with the aim of using monetary policy to control inflation through a proposed system of inflation targetting.

My government is aware of Alizeria's position as a trading nation and that our economy depends on our ability to move goods efficiently and economically to markets within the country and to places of export. Co-ordination of the various kinds of transport to produce the most efficient service at the lowest cost will be the aim of My government's transport policy.
My government will promote the role of railways as the primary means of carrying freight over a long distance and in the interest of reducing congestion in our major cities and reducing our carbon footprint, My government will promote urban railways.
My government is committed to investing in alternative energy and in reducing Alizeria's reliance on oil imports, and ensuring self-sufficiency where possible in regards to our national energy needs.

My Lords, Clergy and Honourable Members, tourism has the potential to bring jobs to isolated areas most affected by unemployment and bring growth to the service sector, primarily the hotel and hospitality industries. For this reason, My government will actively seek to promote tourism to Alizeria. It is Our firm view that, in a world and region as troubled as this one, the peace and serenity and relative prosperity of Alizeria will likely be desirable to the foreign traveller and we ought therefore encourage this. We do not know how lucky we are to live in this part of the world and My government intends to share some of this with the rest of the world.

My government will continue to invest in our healthcare system and continue the District Health Board system, believing that a local and locally elected healthcare board remains the most effective means of governing our healthcare system. Funding will be targeted at hospitals that meet certain requirement, including shorter waiting times. Education, being the means by which one born in poverty can better one's self shall remain a priority of My government and there will be no funding cuts in this area whatsoever. My government believes that education is the magic bullet: It holds the key to unlocking our national potential and the potential of our young people.

My government remains committed to our state broadcaster, and to ensuring that the arts and entertainment industry are well supported through tax incentives and through continuation of the quota system in which at least 20% of all radio and television content must be Alizerian. My government remains committed to our national principles of decency and morality and as such the censorship board shall continue to have broad powers to clear our nation's media of smut and filth. My government does however pledge that there will be more democratic oversight in regards to our censorship board and they will be directed to be more responsive to the public.

My government is committed to justice, especially social justice, as is the Alizerian way and tradition. As Alizeria truly becomes a modern and 21st century nation, some social change is inevitable and there will be debates had, especially on issues such as sex. My government pledges to reform laws regarding to rape in order to better protect our nation's women and My government pledges to follow a more secular approach to policy making, in recognition of our growing population of non-religious Alizerians, or Alizerians of different faiths. Tolerance must not be simply a word, it must become a deed.

My Lords, Clergy and Honourable Members, the Armed Forces are to undergo a major restructuring and revitalisation. It is essential that Alizeria is able to defend our part of the world in the unlikely, but not impossible chance that we are threatened by one of the many rogue nations that exist in our region. My government will commit itself to the enforcement of international law because international law is the only real hope that a small nation like ours has in the face of larger and more powerful foes. My government will enter into defence pacts with friendly nations and increase our military co-operation with like-minded smaller, democratic states such as Gylias.

Nuclear weapons pose the biggest threat to Alizeria and to the world and therefore My government is committed to establishing and enforcing a nuclear free zone in the southern Occidental Ocean and to passing legislation which will ban nuclear weapons and ships containing nuclear weapons from entering our ports. The threat posed by nuclear weapons is greater than the threat posed by any potential war or enemy and My government therefore deems it pointless to be defended by them.

My government will no longer ignore our relationship with our fellow Cornellians, or with the rest of the world. In particular we will ensure that embassies are established in nations such as New Edom, Adiron, Nalaya and Ossoria, being powerful nations that we should not be ignoring. The potential good that a diplomatic relationship with the powerful nations of this region brings outweigh any potential drawbacks. It is important that we enter into a peaceful and productive dialogue with our neighbours and our fellow nations.

Finally, My government is committed to allowing Alizerians to decide on whether or not they consider it right that Alizeria become a member of the World Assembly and is committed to holding a referendum on the subject before the end of the year.

My Lords, My Clergy and Members of the House of Peasants, never before had we had so little time to do so much. I commend all these matters to your careful consideration and in the name of the Father God, the Mother Mary, the Son Jesus and the Brother Jeff I pray that divine guidance will be with you in your deliberations.
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

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Alizeria
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Postby Alizeria » Thu Apr 17, 2014 3:46 am

ADDRESS IN REPLY:
Notice of Motion:


Mr. FREDERICK CURT [Liberal - Central Wichbury]: "Mr. Speaker, I intend to move, That an humble Address be presented to His Royal Majesty, as follows:

Most Gracious Sovereign,
We, Your Royal Majesty’s most dutiful and loyal subjects, the Peasants
of the Kingdom of Alizeria,
in Parliament assembled, beg leave to offer our humble thanks to
Your Royal Majesty for the Gracious Speech which Your Royal Majesty has
addressed to all three Houses of Parliament ."

Hon. GEORGE CLARK [Leader of the House]: "I move, That the aforementioned Address in Reply be added to the order paper for Monday the 21st April 2014."

Motion agreed to.

The House adjourned at 1:45pm
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

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Alizeria
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Founded: Jan 03, 2009
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Postby Alizeria » Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:45 pm

START OF THE DAY:

Mr. SPEAKER took the chair at 11am.
Prayers.

SITTING HOURS OF THE HOUSE:

Hon. GEORGE CLARK [Leader of the House]: "I move, That the House do, at its rising, adjourn until 7:30pm on Tuesday 6th May, and proceed at that hour to the order of the day set down.

Motion agreed to.


BUSINESS OF THE HOUSE:

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile [Leader of the Opposition]: "I raise a point of order, Mr. Speaker. It is customary that, at the end of the week, as the first item of business, to indicate what will happen the following week. Does the Government propose to follow that custom?"

Hon. GEORGE CLARK [Leader of the House]: "I am about to meet the desire of the Leader of the Opposition. The House of Peasants will meet at 7:30pm on Tuesday evening for the moving and seconding of the Address in Reply debate, and that debate will continue for the remainder of the week excluding the private members day on Wednesday afternoon."

Rt. Hon Sir Edward Vermile: "The Leader of the House has made no mention of the fact that it has been proposed that the House should adjourn at the end of next week. Would he please confirm that? The information came to me through the Whips, but I would have thought he would make clear his intentions when announcing the business of the House and if an adjournment is proposed, the reasons for it."

Hon. GEORGE CLARK: "The Leader of the Opposition has been a member of the House long enough to be able to figure it out."

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile: "Just answer the bloody question!"

Hon. GEORGE CLARK: "I fear that it may be a little late for the Leader of the Opposition to be demanding straight answers, given his opacity over the last fifteen years while he served as Prime Minister. However the answer is this: the House will adjourn as soon as the Government is confident that adequate progress has been made with Government business. The Leader of the Opposition may find it inconvenient but under this Government, Parliament will meet frequently and the House of Peasants will return to its rightful place as Alizeria's major decision-making body, open and in public rather than under the previous government where such decisions were made behind closed doors in the Chancellery!"

Mr. SPEAKER: "Order! The Leader of the House needs to answer the question asked by the Leader of the Opposition. The information he is offering beyond that is irrelevant."

Hon. GEORGE CLARK: "I was invited to give reasons and I have done so. The House will adjourn when the Government is confident that adequate progress has been made on urgent legislation and the Address in Reply. The reason for this is due to the difficult position we have been left in as a result of the decisions made by the previous Government led by the Right Honourable Gentleman."

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile: "I raise a Point of Order, Mr. Speaker. There is something very fishy going on when the Government Whips tell the Opposition Whips certain information and then that information is not sustained by the Leader of the House."

Mr. SPEAKER: "Order! That is not a valid point of order and the Right Honourable Member knows it."
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

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Alizeria
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Founded: Jan 03, 2009
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Postby Alizeria » Tue Apr 29, 2014 4:24 am

REINSTATEMENT OF BUSINESS:

Appointment - Chairman of Committees

Hon. GEORGE CLARK [Leader of the House]: "I move, That Dominic James Nash, the member for Taylor, be appointed the Chairman of Committees."

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile [Leader of the Opposition]: "Mr. Speaker, as you know, the Opposition made mild comments regarding your appointment but we thoroughly supported the decision. However, on this occasion, the Opposition takes a different view. We do not feel confident that, given the short amount of time that the Member for Taylor has been in this House, he is able to carry out the duties of the job to the satisfaction of the House. The Opposition believes that there is a more qualified Government member who is better suited to the job. I refer to the Member for King's Bay. He has been the Chair on previous occasions. He is qualified in law and has been an admirable Chairman. The Opposition would have therefore preferred the appointment of the Member for King's Bay as the Chairman of Committees and Deputy Speaker."

Motion agreed to.

Appointment - Deputy Chairman of Committees

Hon. GEORGE CLARK: "I move, That Evan Nigel Israel, the member for King's Bay, be be appointed Deputy Chairman of Committees of the House."

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile: "I am delighted, on behalf of the Opposition, to support this nomination. However I fear the government has got the two appointments around the wrong way."

Motion agreed to.

Appointment - Select Committees

Hon. GEORGE CLARK: I move, "I move, that a Commerce Committee be established to consider any bill, petition or other matter referred by the House and to examine matters related to business development, commerce, communications, consumer affairs, energy, information technology, industry, insurance and superannuation;

that an Education and Science Comittee be established to consider any bill, petition or other matter referred by the House and to examine matters related to education, education review, industry training, research, science and technology;

that a Finance and Expenditure Committee be established to consider any bill, petition or other matter referred by the House and inquire into matters related to Government finance, revenue and taxation;

that a Foreign Affairs, Defence and Trade Committee be established to consider any bill, petition or other matter referred by the House and to examine matters related to defence, trade, arms control, foreign affairs, immigration and customs;

that a Government Administration Committee be established to consider any bill, petition or other matter referred by the House and to and to examine matters related to civil defence, cultural affairs, internal affairs, local government affairs, State services, statistics, tourism and youth affairs;

that a Health Committee be established to consider any bill, petition or other matter referred by the House and to examine matters related to healthcare;

that a Justice Committee be established to consider any bill, petition or other matter referred by the House and to examine matters related to justice, privacy and freedom of information;

that a Law and Order Committee be established to consider any bill, petition or other matter referred by the House and to examine matters related to corrections, prosecutions, law enforcement and serious fraud;

that an Environment Committee be established to consider any bill, petition or other matter referred by the House and to examine matters related to conservation, agriculture, biosecurity and the environment;

that a Social Services Committee be established to consider any bill, petition or other matter referred by the House and to examine matters related to housing, senior citizens, social welfare and veterans' affairs;

that a Transport and Industrial Relations Committee be established to consider any bill, petition or other matter referred by the House and to examine matters related to accident compensation, industrial relations, labour, occupational health and safety, transport and transport safety;

that a Standing Orders Committee be established to examine and report upon the administration of the House of Peasants;

and a Business Committee be established to examine, report on and establish the business of the House.

Motion agreed to.


Membership:

Commerce - Wayne Aaronson (Deputy Chairperson), Christopher Amit, Alan Carson, Hon. Jennifer Dixon, Zavier Jeremias (Chairperson), Sylvester McCain, Samuel Truman

Education and Science - Peter Bristol, Jessica Burton, Dorian Ellis (Deputy Chairperson), Shari Kenton (Chairperson), Gerald Nervan, Hon. James Richardson, Roseanne Noah

Finance and Expenditure - Joshua Abishai, Nick Cameron, Denholm Braden (Chairperson), Dax Finlayson, Josiah Haim, Hon. Jim Humphries (Deputy Chairperson), Izzy Yahweh

Foreign Affairs, Defence and Trade - Jackson Barclay (Chairperson), Hayley Cathan, Rupert Craig, Patrick Freeman, Jordan Mikhah (Deputy Chairperson), Johanna Reagan, Jacob Trystan

Government Administration - Fran Baldwin (Chairperson), Geoffrey Conleth, Lisa Guela, Gemma Flowers, Mack Jarleth (Deputy Chairperson), Jason Mannix, Winston Stephanie

Health - Nathaniel Avraham, Kevin Battersby (Deputy Chairperson), Maura Bethany (Chairperson), Cameron Cline, Stephen Elliot, Tobias Glynn, Dibby Nye

Justice - Kimberley Avner, Rhys Davidson, Russell Bradley (Chairperson), Jay Geriant, Sean Gratinus (Deputy Chairperson), Seamus Uriah, John Williams

Law and Order - Benjamin Allan, Jared Beauregard, Richard Delbert (Chairperson), Heather Gallagher (Deputy Chairperson), Kate Harris, Valerie Milburga, Kenton Yedidya

Environment - Karl Anshel, Cameron Charis, Winfred Cledwyn (Deputy Chairperson), Jason Feibush, Millicent Ingham, Sinead Jules (Chairperson), Cara Katee

Social Services - Louis Chayim, Robert Fenton (Chairperson), Hannah Fionn, Emma Gray, Branson Iou, Bartholemew Peregrine, Emily Sheryll (Deputy Chairperson)

Transport and Industrial Relations - Flynn Cowell, Trevor Evander (Deputy Chairperson), Gerald Esau, Hon. Donald Harley, Thomas Kippington (Chairperson), Terrance Quintilian, Clyde Turner

Standing Orders - Wilson Bethel, Hon. George Clark, Rt. Hon. Robert Jordan (Chairperson), Jatan King, Brendon Kennard, Vaughan O'Brien

Business - Wilson Bethel, Hon. George Clark, Rt. Hon. Robert Jordan (Chairperson), Jatan King, Brendon Kennard, Hon. Dominic Nash, Vaughan O'Brien, Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

User avatar
Alizeria
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Posts: 1434
Founded: Jan 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Alizeria » Sun May 04, 2014 6:57 pm

BUSINESS OF THE HOUSE:

URGENCY:

Hon GEORGE CLARK [Leader of the House]: "I move, That Urgency be accorded the introduction and passing of the Imprest Supply Bill 2014. This is so that His Royal Majesty may have funds to keep the government running for the next few months."

Motion agreed to.

Imprest Supply Bill 2014:
Introduction:


A message was received from His Royal Majesty recommending the House to make an appropriation of public money for the purposes of the Imprest Supply Bill 2014.

Bill introduced and read a first time.


Imprest Supply Bill 2014:
Second and Third Reading:


Hon. DONALD DOUGLAS [Chancellor of the Exchequer]: "I move, That the Imprest Supply Bill 2014 now be read a second and a third time."

Hon. Jim Humphries [Deputy Leader of the Opposition]: "Mr. Speaker, I find it very interesting that we are having this debate, mainly because neither Government nor Opposition were even sure that it was going to happen.

"The Cabinet have been very opaque about this, with neither government whips nor the opposition whips having any notice of whether or not this debate would be held until finally the government Chief Whip mentioned it to me in passing this morning, thereby reflecting an apparent capriciousness on the part of the Government.

"And it's extraordinarily gratifying, in a way, to sit here on the opposition benches, and watch the Government do exactly the same things that they spent the last - what was it? Fifteen years! Fifteen years complaining to us that we were doing precisely what they are doing when their Government has barely even begun!

"This Government, when in Opposition, spent 15 long years complaining about how our Government were supposedly guilty of having the Executive Branch silence the Legislative Branch and yet do this within days of the opening of Parliament! There is a word for this, Mr. Speaker - hypocrisy!

"They are shoving this bill down our throats under urgency, with no warning of the debate and the Cabinet clearly aren't communicating with their own backbenchers, much less the rest of the House!

"And oh how this Government flip-flops! Already they, the same party who have consistently opposed anything resembling military modernisation are now talking about building up our army and going off on 'peacekeeping' missions throughout Cornellia and Aurora because they want to impress a bunch of dictatorships who they're now chummy with!

"They said one minute they'll be making cuts to welfare, then the next that they'll be increasing welfare. The Prime Minister is adamant that, quote, 'There will always be a welfare state in Alizeria', endquote. The Chancellor of the Exchequer however seems to think that this government will, quote, 'End welfare as we know it', endquote.

"We heard about how there will be tax cuts - the Prime Minister said it ad nauseum thoughout the campaign, the Chancellor promised them until he was blue in the face, and the Minister of Business has been promising them since the last time the Liberals were in government! And yet - what did we hear from His Royal Majesty in the Speech from the Throne? We heard a government reneging on its promise to the Alizerian people, and trying to blame the Opposition for its indecisiveness!

"It's a government who promised there would be no devaluation of the Kros, and what did they do? They hadn't even been officially sworn in and were already banging on about how they wanted to devalue the Kros - and they did, and it has cost the economy millions of Kros and put jobs and livelihoods in danger!

"Mr. Speaker, individual Cabinet ministers aren't communicating with each other! It's a shambles and we haven't even passed a single piece of legislation yet!"

Hon. JENNY RICHARDSON [Liberal - Ellerslie]: "Mr. Speaker, it was amusing to watch the Deputy Leader of the Opposition struggle his way through that speech.

"I can't blame him of course - fifteen years in government has meant he clearly isn't used to being in opposition and it's clear that he finds it most uncomfortable having become accustomed to the baubles of being a senior Cabinet Minister.

"Mr. Speaker, in regards to the Imprest Supply Bill - which has been scarcely mentioned by the Member for Hetfield, no doubt because he knows that he is responsible for it and the mess attached to it - we are left in the awkward position of needing 5 billion Kros to last until the end of the year, and that's at the bare minimum.

"It's not good enough, Mr. Speaker! We knew the country was in shambles when we were in opposition, but it was not until entering government that we truly realised what a disaster the Conservative government had been, and just how poorly managed our budget, our finances and our government departments had been and it's going to take a lot of hard work and sacrifice, on the part of ordinary, innocent Alizerians, to clean up the mess they left behind.

"Mr. Speaker I find it very interesting that the Member for Hetfield claims that the Government has not been transparent given that he was a part of the most authoritarian government in Alizerian history! There are brutal dictators in parts of Cornellia who would blush at the systematic repression carried out by Sir Edward Vermile and his cronies.

"Afterall our small nation was recently ranked, by the World Assembly, fourth in the region for authoritarianism, and we also ranked a lot higher than we should have in terms of corruption.

"We outrank dictatorships, we outrank some of the most heinous regimes in the world, and it's all down to what the Vermile government did. And yet - they have the nerve to accuse this Government, who have barely entered office, of trying to suppress information!

"Mr. Speaker another thing notably absent from the speech that we just heard was any reference to the national debt, which has grown more under the last government than in any other government since the fall of the Cornellian Empire!

"We are going to need to make some terrible spending cuts in order to get the deficit manageable, and that's not even thinking about how we are going to reduce the national debt.

"Debt is staggering. Unemployment is crippling. Inflation is debilitating. And economic growth isn't happening at all.

"No other economy of our size and of our type has been left in such a terrible position and all of it is thanks to the Conservative Party!"
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

User avatar
Alizeria
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Posts: 1434
Founded: Jan 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Alizeria » Mon May 05, 2014 12:11 am

Mr. Kevin Battersby [Conservative - Central and Eastern Liversea]: "Mr. Speaker I would ask the Member for Ellerslie to offer up some evidence of how bad things were when the Opposition was the Government?

"She is quick to talk about how terrible things are and yet, looking around, I see a nation where income inequality is at record lows - or at least it was until the Chancellor of the Exchequer began his wholesale demolition of the welfare state.

"I see a nation that is envied by others in the region for our political stability, for our quality of life, for the fact that relative poverty here is lower than almost any other country in Cornellia, and that crime is lower than almost any other country in the region.

"And yet, not even a few weeks into the job, we already have rumours that the Police are planning a general strike due to the promised pay cuts offered up by the Home Secretary - who is sitting there, on the front bench, in stony silence. The Member for Ellerslie blames the Opposition for the problems in our public services and yet these problems are due to bad decisions made by Ministers of the Ashton government.

"She cannot blame the Opposition for what has happened since the election. She has only herself and her colleagues to blame.

"She talks about the rise of inflation and yet she is part of the same Government responsible for the currency devaluation - the very thing that will cause a price and wage spiral, when under the Conservatives there was none!"

Mr. SPEAKER: "Order! I call the Member for Krostuk West."

Mr. DENHOLM BRADEN [Liberal - Krostuk West]: "Thank you, Mr. Speaker.

"Mr. Speaker we have here an Opposition who are out of touch not just with the people of Alizeria, but with reality."

Mr. SPEAKER: "Order!"

Mr. BRADEN: "Mr. Speaker the reality is that the people of Alizeria do not all have magic money trees upon which wealth can grow..."

Mr. Wesley [Conservative - South Palacewood]: "Lucky they have the Liberals to print out more cash for them though!"

Mr. BRADEN: "I said 'wealth' not 'money', Mr. Speaker. The Liberal government is committed to creating real wealth, not just the illusion of wealth and plenty of fake public sector jobs.

"Mr. Speaker we are committed to growing the private sector of Alizeria. Because it is only from the private sector that real jobs, and real wealth can be created. Government's role is to create the conditions upon which business can flourish and grow. Its role is not to act in place of the private sector or to directly intervene in those matters.

"Mr. Speaker we have an Opposition who hates consensus and refuses to take responsibility. It is a government based on emotion and not on rationalism. It is a government that seeks to divide and conquer, that seeks to do what is convenient and which shrugs its responsibilities to ensure our Kingdom's long-term growth.

"But now we have a Government that has the support of the people - all people, not just the select few whose votes the Tories have managed to buy. And the public support us, Mr. Speaker. The landslide election results show it. They support our programme and what we stand for and we have a mandate to proceed with long overdue freemarket reforms.

"We are a government who deal in facts, not fiction or fantasy. We are committed to a programme of debt and deficit reduction and we will abolish controls on interest rates, which will increase them and it will decrease inflationary pressures.

"The measures that we take should by all rights be unpopular and yet the people of Alizeria accept that tough decisions must be made and we have something that the Opposition do not have: The support of the public."

Mr. Jordan Mikhah [Conservative - Johnsonville]: "Mr. Speaker, the Member for Krostuk West seems to think that the election result justifies his Government's actions but I wish to remind him that, in order to have a mandate from the public to perform a particular action, you must first have informed the public of your intention to engage in it.

"Mr. Speaker, the Liberal Party were elected by the people of Alizeria on the programme that they promised in their manifesto. They were not elected to devalue our currency, and the Prime Minister himself, when he was Leader of the Opposition, is on the record saying he would not devalue the cross-"

Mr. SELWYN [Liberal - Blenheim]: "He did not!"

Mr. Mikhah: "He did, Mr. Speaker and unless my honourable friend the Member for Blenheim is much mistaken, I suspect he may have just lied to the House on behalf of his lying colleague the Prime Minister-"

Mr. SPEAKER: "Order! The Member for Johnsonville knows better than to call his Parliamentary colleagues liars."

Mr. Mikhah: "I withdraw and apologise, sorry Mr. Speaker. But the Government has misrepresented the facts and they blame the Opposition despite the fact that they are the ones responsible for their own problems.

"Mr. Speaker I'd like to talk particularly about housing, and about how the Government's plans for market reforms will affect it. Mr. Speaker, by abolishing controls on interest rates, aside from the little it will do to curb inflation, ultimately it will make things worse for ordinary Alizerians who wish to buy a house.

"Under the Conservatives, home ownership rates were some of the highest in the region if not the world. And yet the Government seems hell bent on making it so that ordinary families cannot afford homes, cannot afford mortgages and yet in a horrible twist they also plan to charge market rents for state-housing, defeating the purpose of our state-housing system and thus making it impossible for ordinary families to buy homes, and for disadvantaged individuals to find a place to live.

"Why, Mr. Speaker, does a Government extolling the virtues of capitalism and the freemarket seem hell-bent on forcing those who wish to buy homes into rented accommodation, which will most likely be government owned accommodation. That doesn't sound like the free market to me. It sounds more like communism."

Hon. DONALD DOUGLAS [Chancellor of the Exchequer]: "Well there we have it, Mr. Speaker. The pleas of three guilty men, who know what they have done because they lacked the courage to disobey their Master.

"They try to defend their actions but their defence fails under even the most cursory glance, much less the scrutiny they receive in this House.

"Yet despite their attempts to show their loyalty to their fearsome Master, he himself remains silent, perhaps a testament to his defeat. The former Prime Minister knows what he's done. He knows he tried to buy his way into a sixth term and that now the creditors have come a-knocking. He doesn't want to face them so he sends his lackeys to meet us.

"It's a tragic end to the career of our longest serving Prime Minister. The much-feared Sir Edward Vermile, Member for Hammond, now sits there, half asleep on the Opposition benches, refusing to debate, refusing to make eye contact. He knows, Mr. Speaker. He knows what he has done. He knows he is guilty and so do his backbenchers who even now are plotting away. It's not a question of will he be replaced, it's just a question of who will replace him?

"Will it be the Member for Hetfield? Let's hope not. There's only one thing more pathetic than a failed former Prime Minister refusing to stand up for his failures and that's a former Deputy Prime Minister trying to stand up for a former Prime Minister who knows he's failed.

"Who else it is? The Members for Johnsonville and Central and Eastern Liversea know it won't be them. No backbone. Still loyal to the Leader of the Opposition. Still seeking Master's favour even in his dying hours.

"So somewhere there on the backbenches then. Somewhere a blade is being sharpened to be plunged into the Leader of the Opposition's back.

"Mr. Speaker, the Member for Johnsonville, rather audaciously might I add, accused the Government of lying. Well now let me present him with some numbers, some cold hard facts, that don't ever lie.

"Mr. Speaker in the 1999-2000 budget, 29 pence out of every Kros went to debt servicing, while 71 Pence were left for housing, education, health and other social services.

"Now 44 Pence out of every Kros go to debt servicing and by 2015 it's projected that, had the Conservatives remained in power, it would have gone up to 45 pence. But already this Government has begun reducing the deficit. Every Minister of the Crown under the Ashton government is doing the same thing - reigning in expenditure.

"Mr. Speaker in the interests of open government I will releasing, within the next few weeks, the Treasury Reports from 1999 that I received upon entering Government. The Opposition tried to cover this information up, and keep it secret. But I'm sure the people of Alizeria will be very interested to see just what the Conservatives have been doing with their money and the national finances, over the last 15 years.

"Mr. Speaker, we're being forced to borrow 2.049 billion Kros just to keep our government's basic functions running. I'm astounded that the Opposition genuinely thought this was sustainable, that somehow we could get away with this. No wonder they tried to hide it.

"No, Mr. Speaker, the amount of external debt this country has is far too high. It's not sustainable. In fact we're very lucky to have avoided a major fiscal blowout and I pledge that there will be no fiscal blowout under a Liberal government.

"Mr. Speaker, real GDP grew less than half of the regional average while the Tories were in government; and unemployment has grown faster than anywhere!

"It's just lucky that Alizeria has finally rejected the quacks in the Conservative Party and chosen the sober and moderate programme offered by the Liberal Party.

"In the 1990s, I remember Sir Edward Vermile boasted that his government had taken the money saved by the previous Liberal government, spent the lot and left the cupboard bare. Well in 2014 he can say he has spent the lot, sold the cupboard and taken a third, fourth and fifth mortgage on the house!

"Mr. Speaker even the Treasury have stated that the voodoo economics of the Conservative Party are unsustainable.

"They are a guilty party and their legacy, the legacy of Sir Edward Vermile, is one of debt and economic destruction."

Bill read a second and third time.

The House adjourned at 7:11pm
Last edited by Alizeria on Mon May 05, 2014 12:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

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Alizeria
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Postby Alizeria » Thu May 15, 2014 12:38 am

START OF THE DAY:

Mr. SPEAKER took the chair at 7:30pm.
Prayers.

Mr. Wilson Bethel [Conservative - Groome]: "I move, That the speaking times allotted to the mover, the seconder and all new Liberal Party members be extended."

Mr. BRANDON KENNARD [Liberal - Chumley]: "I move, That all new opposition members be accorded a similar extension."

Motion agreed to.

Mr. FREDERICK CURT [Liberal - Central Wichbury]: "I move, That an humble Address be presented to His Royal Majesty, as follows:

Most Gracious Sovereign,
We, Your Royal Majesty’s most dutiful and loyal subjects, the Peasants
of the Kingdom of Alizeria,
in Parliament assembled, beg leave to offer our humble thanks to
Your Royal Majesty for the Gracious Speech which Your Royal Majesty has
addressed to all three Houses of Parliament .


"Mr. Speaker, it is a great honour for me to be moving this motion. In so many ways this is a new beginning - it's a new Parliament, the 60th Parliament to be elected in our humble Kingdom, it's a new government and the people of Central Wichbury have a new MP.

"I'm proud of course to be a part of the sweeping change that has ended fifteen years of Conservative rule and brought with it a new, Liberal government who will introduce to Alizeria a new, dynamic, intelligent economy.

"The constituency of Central Wichbury has existed since the 18th century and yet I am the first Liberal to ever represent it. This is not a privilege I take lightly. Afterall, the constituency that neighbours my own is that of the Leader of the Opposition, the notorious Sir Edward Vermile.

"However, what the people of Central Wichbury have indicated to me, as have the people of Alizeria as a whole, is that they are suffering under the economic malaise brought on by the Conservative government, and it is the rural communities that tend to be hit the hardest.

"Our farmers are suffering because they can't find the export markets they require, because the previous government who are now the opposition has consistently refused to sign or ratify free trade agreements that would give Alizerian farmers and businesses much needed access to new markets.

"The current system of subsidising farmers can't last forever, either Mr. Speaker. Aside from being grossly inefficient we must ask the question where do these subsidies come from? Well from the taxpayer. Except that farmers produce most of our national income, and therefore pay the largest tax burden in the country.

"In other words farmers are paying farmers with money they no longer have and we are left in an endless cycle which sees a rapidly shrinking economy - not unlike that which we are currently seeing, in which economic growth is well into negative figures.

"Mr. Speaker, I am so grateful to the people of Central Wichbury for giving me this opportunity to speak to the House of Peasants on their behalf, and for taking a chance on a Liberal candidate. It's not always easy to try something new, and yet that is just what this nation needs - a new way of doing things, because the old ways are outdated and no longer working.

"Mr. Speaker, the production quotas that the Vermile government levied on our nation's farmers are also unfair. In fact they reek not of socialism, but of communism.

"Because according to the Institute of Economic Freedom's 2012 report, Alizeria's economy is in fact more regulated than that of self-proclaimed communist nations. Because in the latter case at least there is a black market. Here, whatever market we do have was so controlled by the megalomaniac member for Hammond that people are forced to fill out a form every time they wish to purchase anything, while in the meantime our businesses are supposed to hope that this small country of 12 million over-regulated people will be enough to ensure they can generate wealth and prosperity.

"No, sir. Alizeria needs freedom, especially economic freedom and only one party stands for freedom in this country and that is the Liberal Party.

"Mr. Speaker I am proud to be a Liberal. I am proud to be a backbencher in the 13th Liberal government, to be a part of the legacy of Alizeria's oldest political party and to serve under Anthony Ashton, who no doubt will be forever remembered as the liberator of Alizeria and the man who brought us out of the darkness of stagflation and into the light of economic growth and prosperity.

"It has been an honour to move the Address in Reply debate and I am certain that the programme outlined in His Royal Majesty's speech from the Throne will be one which moves Alizeria firmly and freely into the 21st Century. Thank you."
Last edited by Alizeria on Thu May 15, 2014 12:45 am, edited 3 times in total.
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

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Alizeria
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Postby Alizeria » Fri May 16, 2014 11:45 pm

KATELYN PARNELL [Liberal - Albert]: "Mr. Speaker, I am honoured to second the motion that a respectful address be presented to His Royal Majesty's speech.

"I offer my congratulations to you Mr. Speaker upon your election to that high office. You probably don't want to hear this, but I was born the same year that you entered the House of Peasants for the first time. I also offer my congratulations and my gratitude to the Right Honourable Anthony Ashton, Member for Barrington, on his election as the 38th Prime Minister of Alizeria.

"That he has finally ended 15 notorious years of Conservative rule is a feat that for Liberal Party supporters at one time seemed impossible. Afterall, I was in university when the Member for Hammond, and current Leader of the Opposition became Prime Minister and it was the policies of his government, which I'm sorry to say were overwhelmingly negative from my point of view, that spurred me into political action.

"And so I am feeling especially privileged to be part of the government that has finally rid Alizeria of the Vermile regime.

"Mr. Speaker, the 60th Parliament of Alizeria is notable in that this Parliament has the highest proportion of women than any other Parliament in Alizerian history and marks another turning point in the fight for gender equality in this Humble Kingdom of ours.

"It is a great day for women - for not only are women now better represented in the House of Peasants than ever before but also because we have a Liberal government who will no doubt overturn the sexist and misogynist policies of the Conservative --"

Mr. SPEAKER: "Order!"

KATELYN PARNELL: "Of the previous government.

"For years now Alizeria has endured a government that is hell bent on micromanaging every aspect of our lives - from what we buy, to how much we earn, where we live, where we travel, what we read or watch on TV, what websites we visit, what cultures we interact with and for women it even goes so far as to dictate to us what we may do with our reproductive organs.

"The Liberal government offers an alternative to that. It offers a government which steps back from the lives of the people, and which recognises that government's role ought to be limited and the prosperity cannot be attained until people are given the freedom to achieve their own goals and live their own dreams.

"The Liberal government stands for a new and better tomorrow, for all Alizerians. To make people's lives better, to empower individuals to live their dreams and to free the people of Alizeria from governmental tyranny - that is what I came to Parliament to do and I intend to do my very best to achieve that."
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Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

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Alizeria
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Founded: Jan 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Alizeria » Wed May 21, 2014 3:48 am

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile [Leader of the Opposition]: "I move, That the following words be added to the address: "and it wishes to inform His Royal Majesty that the House has no confidence in the Liberal government led by Anthony Ashton because it intends to pursue policies that are at odds with Alizerian values, because it plans to sell this country's independence to foreign countries and corporations and because its economic agenda will cause job losses and untold pain and misery to the poorer members of our society.

"Last week His Royal Majesty was forced to read a profoundly uninspiring Speech from the Throne. It talked about a crisis that doesn't really exist, it called for changes that aren't necessary and it called for actions that will tear apart the fabric of our nation. I was as disappointed by that speech as the people of Alizeria are no doubt going to be after one term of the Liberal government.

"You see, I've been in this House a long time, Mr. Speaker. And I remember the 11th Liberal government, from 1984 to 1987 who were a lot like this lot and who were out on their behinds after one term. I remember a man called James Cooper who came in, much like young Anthony Ashton here, and declared the works of Milton Friedman to be sacred and that they would be law. That the welfare state as we know it would be ended. That Alizeria was in crisis.

"He got chucked out after one term, Mr. Speaker and this lot will be the same.

"I don't know quite where to begin, Mr. Speaker -"

Hon. WILLIAM EASTWOOD [Foreign Secretary]: "Then do us a favour and end it!"

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile: "Mr. Speaker the member for West Auckonto is already begging for it to be over! What does he fear? Does he know that I can see through the pale lies of his government and doesn't want me to reveal them to the House?

"Mr. Speaker we hear a government promising that they plan to create a whole lot of new jobs but they don't talk about how, where or what they will be. It's clear that the public sector will be downsized, that the private sector will be told to be 'more efficient', which is a byword for 'pay less money, hire less people, fire more people' so there's a lot of job losses right there.

"And they plan to slash tariffs so goodbye manufacturing sector! That'll put the small towns out of work.

"And finally they plan to invite every nigger and towel-head from whichever banana republic happens to be cheapest and invite them over here to live and take jobs that have already disappeared! And where will Alizerians go? The dole queue? No, Mr. Speaker, because the Chancellor of the Exchequer has promised to 'modernise', read, 'abolish' the welfare state so suddenly we're going to see honest, hard-working Alizerians living on the streets while a bunch of darkies and Muslims take what little jobs there are and undercut everyone else by accepting them for virtually no pay at all!

"And then they have the nerve to accuse the Conservative Party - who served this country for 15 years, won an unprecedented five terms in power and who the Alizerian people turned to again and again - of starting an economic crisis! Never have I heard so much rubbish in my life!"

Rt. Hon. MICHAEL NEILSON [Deputy Prime Minister]: "Try reading the Conservative Party manifesto - there's lots of rubbish in there!"

Hon. Members: "Ha-ha!"

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile: "The Member for Henderson can rubbish our manifesto all he likes, but the only reason he's on that side of the House is because the Liberal Party leader, who is now the Prime Minister, promised to the media that he, quote, 'Would try to take a more moderate position on the issues than to follow the manifesto to the letter', end quote.

"Which means, Mr. Speaker, either the Prime Minister openly admits he has no intention on following through with his election promises, or else it means that the Prime Minister knows as well as we do on this side of the House that the Liberal Party manifesto is a massive pile of dung!"

Mr. SPEAKER: "Order!"

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile: "Mr. Speaker I'm going to share some facts with you, which the government members might not want to hear because liberals and their ilk tend not to like it when they hear facts.

"Under the 10th Conservative government, home ownership rates have increased in Alizeria more than they have at any point ever in Alizerian history.

"Crime is at the lowest point it has ever been at any point in Alizerian history.

"Between 2008 and 2012, Alizeria was ranked by the World Assembly in the top 5% of the world for lowest rich-poor divides - a sad fact when we look at how much it has shifted under the Liberal government in such a short space of time.

"More Alizerians are in employment than at any point since the 1970s, Alizeria's environment is cleaner than the world and regional average, individual income is higher than in most developed nations and our education system is the envy of much of the world.

"All of that, Mr. Speaker, is the legacy of the 10th Conservative government and yet these clowns on the government benches today would do away with all that in the name of ideological purity and in the name of their false god Mammon. Because that is the crux of the Liberal party today - godlessness.

"They want to allow queers and niggers to exist in our tiny, god-fearing country, they want to kill unborn babies, they want to secularise our education system, crush the poor, empower the rich and do as the heathens do.

"Well this government - I mean, this opposition --"

Hon. Members: "Haha!"

Rt. Hon Sir Edward Vermile: "I've been in government a long time, Mr. Speaker, being in Opposition is gonna take some getting used to.

"But this opposition is prepared to stand for Alizerian independence and Alizerian values, stand in the face of these charlatans, these false prophets, these agents of our enemy and we are prepared to take the fight to the Liberals and win for the good of our country and to preserve that which is good and right in our country.

"Finally, Mr. Speaker, I wish to briefly congratulate the Mover and Seconder of the Address in Reply Debate and welcome them to Parliament. I was the Mover myself, at the beginning of the 49th Parliament in 1981. Obviously they are Liberals and can therefore never hope to achieve the political successes I did later on, or at least for the good of the country we can't -"

Hon. Members: "Ha-ha!"

Mr. SPEAKER: "Order! Order!"

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile: "Mr. Speaker I note that the Member for Central Wichbury complained about the size of his constituency. I can understand a little bit, I am also from County Wichbury myself. And of course his predecessor was one of my Cabinet Ministers and an honourable man indeed.

"Nevertheless if it becomes too hard for him to drive around that large area I will be happy to help him out, and perhaps relieve him of his duty by putting a Conservative in his place. For Conservatives have backbone and the people of heartland Alizeria know this."

Mr. William Ovadia [Conservative - Christchurch]: "Christchurch is the biggest constituency in the country."

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile: "My honourable friend is correct, Christchurch is the biggest constituency in the country, much larger than Central Wichbury and well represented by a Conservative, with backbone, grit and passion.

"And it is that which the Conservatives bring to this House and to this Opposition. We have those qualities. The Liberals just have airy-fairy idealism, textbooks and the hope that theory and reality match up.

"But you wait and see, Mr. Speaker, because this Government will be held to account and it will be exposed for all its flaws and all its lies and we will advance the values of faith, fairness and family that have made Alizeria great."
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

User avatar
Alizeria
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Founded: Jan 03, 2009
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Postby Alizeria » Wed May 21, 2014 8:07 am

Rt. Hon. ANTHONY ASHTON [Prime Minister]: "Well Mr. Speaker, talking of uninspiring, that speech was an hour and three minutes of my life that I won't be getting back again!

"As the Leader of the Opposition droned on and on about how he's seen so much in the House and tried to justify his Government's terrible economic mismanagement, I noted with some amusement that the Member for Bradley and the Member for King Country looked particularly unimpressed by that speech. I think they were wishing they were on this side of the House. I think they were wishing they'd bet on the blue horse!

"The Member for Bradley had her cell phone out. I wonder who she was texting? Was she alerting the backbenchers that the planned leadership coup was now underway? Was she planning and co-ordinating the attack which would rid the country of the Conservative Party's supposedly feared leader once and for all?

"Mr. Speaker, among the despondent faces of the Opposition, I noticed that one Member was smiling - and that was of course the Member for Hetfield, who knows, or he thinks he knows, that he's next in line. The longer that Sir Edward droned on, the closer the prize of Tory Party leadership got for him, and he revelled in it. He's smiling even now, Mr. Speaker because he knows, you know, I know, we all know - that I'm right!

"But there's a problem in the Conservative Party. They claim they're the natural party of government, they claim to be a broad church, a diverse party but that isn't true. They are fractured and they are divided and the man holding them together through fear now looks impotent and senile -"

Mr. SPEAKER: "Order! The Prime Minister will withdraw that statement."

Rt. Hon. ANTHONY ASHTON: "I withdraw and apologise, Mr. Speaker.

"But it's a divided party and the Leader of the Opposition knows it and he knows that party divisions are all that are keeping him in his job.

"It goes like this Mr. Speaker. The Member for Hetfield is a crony of the Leader of the Opposition, but he knows that his Master is weak and that eventually his master will hand down the reigns of power. But his Master would never do that because the Leader of the Opposition secretly thinks that the Member for Hetfield is too soft for the job of Conservative Leader. He doesn't want anyone but him to be leader, but he certainly doesn't want a jellyfish like the Member for Hetfield. Afterall, he wouldn't have allowed the Member to get so close to him without knowing that the Member posed him no threat and could not do an harm - to him or to us.

"But the Member for Hetfield still thinks he's next in line, but of course the Member for King Country, well he loathes the Member for Hetfield and I think he loathes the Leader of the Opposition now too but so do most Conservatives now. But he's biding his time because the backbenchers still fear the Leader of the Opposition, but he also knows that they will choose him over the Member for Hetfield if only he can convince them to vote his way.

"And finally in the mix is the Member for Bradley who, frankly, doesn't like anyone and though she has no friends in the Conservative Party, everyone fears her, even the supposedly fearless Leader of the Opposition, who will do anything to keep her out of the top job.

"The rest of the Conservative Party I can't even talk about, other than to say that they are so boring, so devoid of their own thoughts or personalities that if their lives flashed before their eyes, they wouldn't be in it.

"But let's not talk about the Conservative Party or about the past. Mr. Speaker, I want to talk about the future. But I also need to briefly discuss the present.

"The debt and deficit in this country are staggering. We are living, as a nation, far beyond our means and yet there is negative economic growth because we have an economic system that is more regulated than most communist nations, as the Member for Central Wichbury quite rightly pointed out.

"The Leader of the Opposition uses outdated methods and outdated data to back up outdated claims of prosperity. Income equality is not the be-all and end-all of prosperity. We seek to give Alizerians the freedom to become unequal and to rise or fall based on their own merits. There will be inequality, but there will also be reward for labour and individual choice.

"Mr. Speaker we seek a society that seeks to base its policies not on doctrine but on what benefits the consumer. Can the state necessarily guarantee the best outcomes for the cheapest price? If it cannot then perhaps it's time for us to begin privatising certain industries. Because bigger government does not equate to better government.

"Mr. Speaker this is a government that will stand for the individual, for ambitious Alizerians, free-thinking Alizerians, Alizerians who want to get ahead on their own merits.

"We stand for rationalism, for honesty, for working with facts not fantasies like the members opposite. We will not hide from the hard decisions or seek to suppress vital economic data in the shameless fashion that the Vermile government did.

"Mr. Speaker it was a telling sign in the Imprest Supply debate that the Leader of the Opposition did not speak once. He did not defend himself. Because he knew there was no defence for what he did to this country, for the way he crippled our economy.

"The only hope of Alizeria now is -"

Hon. James Richardson [Conservative - King Country]: "A new Conservative government."

Rt. Hon. ANTHONY ASHTON: "It is not a new Conservative government, because that's what left us in this mess in the first place, but it is economic growth and a government prepared to do less with more. A government committed to cutting waste and bureaucracy. A government whose solution to solving our employment woes is not based around creating more governmental departments, but around creating real, wealth generating, private sector jobs.

"It's about expanding trade and innovation, entering new markets and new industries. It's about living in the world of today with our eyes on tomorrow, not living in the world of yesterday with our eyes on a past that never was.

"But Mr. Speaker, I could stand here all day talking about all the exciting things this government will do. But I'd rather just get on with it and do them.

"Because it's time, Mr. Speaker, time for a change - the people of Alizeria said that very clearly through the ballot box. And Mr. Speaker, that change is about to be delivered."

Hon. GEORGE CLARK [Leader of the House]: "I move, That the debate now be adjourned."


The House divided on the question, That the debate now be adjourned.

Ayes 94
Abishai, Amit, Ashton, Avner, Avraham, Baldwin, Barclay, Beauregard, Bethany, Braden,Bradley, Brierly, Bristol, Burton, Carson, Charis, Chayim, Clark, Cline, Cowell, Craig, Curt, Davin, Delbert, Dermot, Desmond, Dolan, Douglas, Eastwood, Esau, Evelyn, Ezekiel, Feibush, Fenton, Finnigan, Fionn, Flowers, Freeman, Geriant, Glynn, Haim, C.J. Hall, D.G. Hall, Hanson, Harris, Howard, Hubbard, Iago, Israel, Jeremias, Jules, Kaden, Katee, Kennard, Kenton, Kippington, Landen, Laurie, Lawson, Lilly, Madock, Maeghan, Mannix, Nash, Neilson, Newton, McCain, Noah, Nollaig, Obadiah, O'Brien, Parnell, Paxman, Peronel, Pearce, Quintilian, Raziela, Reagan, J.H. Richardson, Rohan, Selwyn, Sheona, Shevaun, Smith, Stephanie, Tasman, Thaddeus, Tyrell, Uriah, Whitney, Wolfe, Yahweh, Yankel, Young

Nays 63
Aaronson, Allan, Anthony, Anshel, Battersby, Bethel, Breandan, Cameron, Cathan, Ceallagh, Conleth, Cormag, Cledwyn, Davidson, Dean, Devon, Dewayne, Dewydd, Dixon, Drogo, Eitan, Elliot, Ellis, Erle, Evander, Finlayson, Fletcher, Gallagher, Geula, Goibniu, Gratinus, Gray, Haley, Harley, Humphries, Ingham, Iou, Jarlath, King, Lester, Mikhah, Milburga, Moshe, Nervan, Nye, Ovadia, Peregrine, Quincey, Randolph, J.G. Richardson, Sheryll, Silvanus, Titanus, Truman, Trystan, Turner, Ulick, Vermile, Wesley, Wilfred, Williams, Willis, Yedidyah


Motion agreed to.

The House adjourned at 9:30pm
Last edited by Alizeria on Tue Jun 24, 2014 10:41 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

User avatar
Alizeria
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1434
Founded: Jan 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Alizeria » Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:02 pm

START OF THE DAY:

Mr. SPEAKER took the chair at 2pm.
Prayers.

QUESTIONS TO MINISTERS:

Question One:
Cabinet appointment - Minister of Justice


Mr. Stephen Elliot [Conservative - East Avonhead] to the Prime Minister: "Does he agree with the statement made by the Member for North Masonville, dated April 19th 2014, that "the appointment of the Viscount of Williamshire as Minister of Justice flies in the face of the values of the Liberal Party" and if not, why not?"

Rt. Hon. ANTHONY ASHTON [Prime Minister]: "Mr. Speaker I do not agree with the statement made by my colleague the Member for North Masonville, however I would like to add that here in the Liberal Party we're able to have views of our own, unlike the Member opposite who is really nothing more than a puppet of Sir Edward Vermile!"

Mr. SPEAKER: "Order!"

Mr. Elliot: "Supplementary question. Why has the Prime Minister appointed a member of the House of Nobles to his Cabinet when for as long as anyone can remember the Liberal Party has been calling for the abolition of the two upper houses?"

The PRIME MINISTER: "Mr. Speaker, I suspect that the Member for East Avonhead has not been updated of the changes that have been made to the Liberal Party constitution and manifesto since, well, the 1970s. Although given some of the views previously expressed by that member, I daresay he would be shocked to learn that the 1970s are in fact over!"

Mr. THOMAS KIPPINGTON [Liberal - North Masonville]: "Does the Prime Minister not see that the decision to appoint a Noble to Cabinet is at odds with traditional Liberal values?"

The PRIME MINISTER: "I thank my honourable friend for his comment, but I say to him that it does not at all contradict Liberal values. Afterall, this is a government that believes in judging people based on merit rather than class - and the fact is that the Viscount of Williamshire is the most qualified person to serve as Minister of Justice."

Mr. Elliot: "Is it true that the Prime Minister's decision to appoint a member of the House of Nobles - who will not be held accountable to the House of Peasants - is indicative of his government's plans to weaken the justice system?"

The PRIME MINISTER: "Mr. Speaker it is not true. The Member for East Avonhead is being absurd."
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

User avatar
Alizeria
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1434
Founded: Jan 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Alizeria » Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:22 pm

Question Two:
Crime rates


Hon. Jennifer Dixon [Conservative - Bradley] to the Secretary of State for the Home Department: "What advice has she seen regarding an increase of crime in Alizeria, and does she see a correlation between it and the election of the new government?"

Hon. JUDITH BRIERLY [Home Secretary]: "Apart from two freak occurrences, there has been no evidence of an increase in crime, and even if there was this government has not been in office long enough to logically take the blame for any potential increase!"

Hon. Jennifer Dixon: "Supplementary question. Does the Home Secretary not believe that instances involving the stealing of grapes from a supermarket are indicative of a growing underclass due to the government's gutting of our welfare state?"

Hon. JUDITH BRIERLY: "Mr. Speaker: No."

Hon. Jennifer Dixon: "Does the Liberal government's plans to cut back the amount of money spent on law enforcement and to introduce more 'secular' values to our country have any link to the alcohol fuelled rampage that shocked the small town of Gibbonsville recently?"

Hon. JUDITH BRIERLY: "No."

Hon. Jennifer Dixon: "Does the Secretary take any responsibility for the heinous crimes which have occurred under her watch?"

Hon. JUDITH BRIERLY: "No."
Last edited by Alizeria on Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

User avatar
Alizeria
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1434
Founded: Jan 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Alizeria » Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:37 pm

Question Three:
International Agreements


Mr. CAMERON CLINE [Liberal - Southe] to the Secretary of State for Foreign and Cornellian Affairs: "What benefits has Alizeria's involvement in international organisations such as the Belisarian League, the Cornellian Peace Organisation and the World Assembly brought to this country?"

Hon. WILLIAM EASTWOOD [Foreign Secretary]: "Mr. Speaker, by involving ourselves more closely with the international community we have managed to foster important commerical relationships, people-to-people relationships and put Alizeria on the map to an extent that we are now a serious tourist destination for countries previously unfamiliar with us.

"Furthermore, Alizeria's position as a neutral country and its perception as an 'honest broker' has allowed us to facilitate dialogues between previously hostile nations. For example, despite a dispute between Adiron and New Edom, we maintain a close friendship with both nations."

Mr. CLINE: "Supplementary question. Has trade increased as a result of our involvement?"

Hon. WILLIAM EASTWOOD: "Mr. Speaker, it appears so. Our balance of trade has seen a remarkable improvement since the Ashton government came to power and began actively seeking friendship with the rest of the world. We had a serious trade deficit during the Vermile years, and if certain reports from the Republic of Gylias are to be believed, the Leader of the Opposition has in fact deterred a great number of nations from trading with or seeking diplomatic ties with Alizeria."

Hon. Niall Dewayne [Conservative - Ashburton]: "At what cost have these international deals come?"

Hon. WILLIAM EASTWOOD: "Mr. Speaker I don't have the exact numbers in front of me --"

Conservative MPs: "Oooooh!"

Mr. SPEAKER: "ORDER! ORDER!"

Hon. WILLIAM EASTWOOD: "-- Mr. Speaker, what I am aware of is that the DFCA has not at all had to increase its operating budget in order to expand our overseas efforts and so there is no excuse as to why the Opposition did not embark on these endeavours while it was in government."

Hon. Niall Dewayne: "What non-monetary costs are involved? This involves human costs and the costs of national sovereignty."

Hon. WILLIAM EASTWOOD: "In the time since Alizeria joined the World Assembly, there has not been a single resolution passed that has contradicted already existent domestic laws. In fact, more resolutions have been repealed in our time in the WA than have been passed.

"Furthermore, despite the troops involved in peacekeeping missions in Central Acheron, not a single Alizerian life has been lost thus far."

Hon. Niall Dewayne: "Does sending armed forces overseas not contradict the teachings of Christ and Saint Jeff in regards to violence, and does it not go against our national value of peace?"

Hon. WILLIAM EASTWOOD: "Mr. Speaker this government is committed to pragmatism, rather than idealism. It is not for me to decide what actions are or are not moral, only those which are expedient for benefiting our nation and other nations of our type."
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

User avatar
Alizeria
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1434
Founded: Jan 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Alizeria » Wed Jul 02, 2014 10:20 pm

Question Four:
Heritage Funding - Regional Theatre Closures


Emma Gray [Conservative - Eastmorland] to the Minister of Culture, Heritage and the Arts: "Is he aware of the closure of several regional theatres throughout the country, and does he take responsibility for that given the government's decision to slash funding to Creative Alizeria?"

Hon. ALEXANDER SMITH [Minister of Culture, Heritage and the Arts]: "Mr. Speaker, to the first part of the question: Yes, and to the second part of the question: No."

Emma Gray: "Supplementary question. How can the Minister justify his decision?"

Hon. ALEXANDER SMITH: "Because taxpayers money should be used to benefit all taxpayers, not to prop up theatres that appeal only to small minorities. If a theatre cannot survive on a commercial basis, then the laws of supply and demand apply. We will not use taxpayers money to force a supply when there is no demand."

Emma Grey: "Can the Minister justify the effect that these theatre closures is having on the local economy in towns like Canobrie?"

Hon. ALEXANDER SMITH: "Mr. Speaker, yes for the reasons aforementioned, though I would dispute that there is a negative impact on the local economy given that there was clearly no demand to allow the theatre to survive commercially. It's no business of the central government."
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.

User avatar
Alizeria
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1434
Founded: Jan 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Alizeria » Wed Jul 02, 2014 10:31 pm

Question Five:
Climate Change, Minister - Confidence


Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile [Leader of the Opposition] to the Prime Minister: "Does he have confidence in the Minister of the Environment, Energy and Climate Change?"

Rt. Hon. ANTHONY ASHTON [Prime Minister]: "Yes."

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile: "Is the Prime Minister aware that the Minister has approved an area of forest in County Westfield previously considered conservation land to be explored by a mining company which her husband has shares in?"

The PRIME MINISTER: "Mr. Speaker the Minister has assured me that there was no conflict of interest in regards to her decision."

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile: "Is the Prime Minister aware of the 10,000 Kros donation that the involved company gave to the Liberal Party last year?"

The PRIME MINISTER: "I am not aware as I do not keep tabs on every individual or group who donates to my party's campaign fund. However given that this falls under the 30,000 Kros limit for anonymous donations, I'm not convinced I'd have known either way."

Rt. Hon. Sir Edward Vermile: "Does the Prime Minister then deny that this is yet another example of a foreign corporation buying influence in Alizeria?"

The PRIME MINISTER: "This is not another example as there has never previously been an example except for those that exist in the vivid imagination of the Leader of the Opposition!"
IIwiki | Hansard | Foreign Affairs | Q&A
Late Roman Empire wrote:Draconians often joke that they double-inspect imports of Alizerian lamb for signs of coupling.

New Edom wrote:Did you hear about that Alizerian who said he’d eat some sheep’s balls on a bet? He won the bet, but damn did that sheep kick him.

Hittanryan wrote:What do you call a guy with his hand up a sheep's ass? An Alizerian mechanic.

Schottia wrote:While Belisaria is burning Schottia is watching football and Alizeria is teaching sheep to drive.

Shalum wrote:Alizeria, the one place where it's acceptable to be a lady by day, and a freak in the hay.


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