Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[Grenartia]

On the subject of a violent Texan secession:

If they want a sequel, its going to have the same plot, bigger budget and the same ending.

Thats less a sequel, and more a reboot.

[Benuty]

On the subject of a violent Texan secession:

Thats less a sequel, and more a reboot.

Tell that to Star Trek.

[The Siverian Republic]

* prepares for attack*

You do realize, invading me would be a giant mistake on your own part.

exactly, that's the only thing my nation is good, at, making mistakes!

Oh so you wanna die?

[Katganistan]

That.... was neither funny nor awesome.

[Grenartia]

That.... was neither funny nor awesome.

i thought u moodz werent aloud 2 judje rollpaly quaility MOD OPPERSION! HALP!

[Doughertania]

That.... was neither funny nor awesome.

i thought u moodz werent aloud 2 judje rollpaly quaility MOD OPPERSION! HALP!

…this a joke, right?

[Yumyumsuppertime]

i thought u moodz werent aloud 2 judje rollpaly quaility MOD OPPERSION! HALP!

…this a joke, right?

I think that's a safe assumption.

[Xiscapia]

Shit, I've got a ton of these. Sadly they're mostly from TGs I've received or IRC chats so I can't directly quote them, but I'll post the best ones.
And because I'm me, most of these are self-aggrandizing. I'd provide context but the lack of context just generally makes it better.
EDIT: I now see that forumside does not permit direct quotes to RMB posts. Whoops. Ah well.

I think I need to develop a split personality to deal with you. -Necrisis, on me

<@Huerdae>I have to admit, though. Xis, the half-gay furry brony is far more reasonable and acceptable than HT the flamboyant brony from hell. That it itself is a sad admission.

It isn't a thread with Xis if there isn't gratuitous nudity ^^ -Setulan

I like how that's not even an evil face. It's just plain happy. You are legitimately happy when people cross you and you can tear them a new one. Or five. –Necrisis

"Nothing wrong with ME. Nothing wrong with ME at all, except the asari." You know, the best part of that sentence is that it looks like you are CAPS LOCKING 'me.' So it reads something like 'there's nothing wrong with you, nothing wrong with you at all, except the tentacle-head blue lesbian chicks.' –Necrisis

You sound like the best tech support guy to call. Porn problems? Solve them with more porn! The good smut will beat out the bad, restoring your system to it's unmaligned state! –Xenohumanity on my computer fixing skills

Who hasn't dreamt of Xis killing them in their sleep at some point?

God dammit Xis, stop raping my psyche

Xis, why is it always your posts where I ask myself if this is where you're displaying local culture, or subtly abusing the players for your own personal fantasies?

Laugh all you like, but time-travelling Hitlers are a real threat to the sandwich eating community.

Xis, I love you. Platonically.

Pfft. Coward. Loving Xis full force is the way to go.

Yes, I want to club bay seals with you, but nowhere near as actively as you want to –Setulan

self control? is that some sort of voodoo magic?

You are a scholar and mah nigga. –Xenohumanity

Can we really even call it a trilogy anymore? What's the word for a series with nine parts? Nonology?

Fitting, considering "NO NO" is the first thought for most of us.

We'd all be stoned in addition to discussing NS cults dedicated to mod booty.

I am on a drug called Xiscapia.

Xis, you're remarkably cunning for someone who is stoned on a regular basis.

Nothing like a team of Jews with baseball bats and riot helmets to remind you that they can still kick ass when needed. –Xenohumanity

I have a message for Mr. X: whoever you are, wherever you are, I will hunt you down. I will find you. And I will tip my hat to you.

Well what kind of commando would he be if he wasn't striking fear into the hearts of Gotham's criminals? –Karaig, on his special forces

I'd like to think I'm evil when it's fun and good when it matters.

A kitsune in her underwear? Stretching it a bit. A kitsune possessing underwear? Ridiculous –Alversia

GOOD NEWS!!! PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE!!!

And there will be porn of them.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAQUIDAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY....

Guns are not a laughing matter.
The people who use them are. –Xenohumanity

*Xisophilia

To quote a great philosopher, "They can take my porn when they pry it from my warm, preoccupied hands." I believe it was Aristotle who said that.

Thank you, mysterious porn ninja who smells vaguely of grass.
Thank you.
*single manly tear* -Neo Arcad

It's adorable, you're not supposed to want to bang it.

I don't understand what you're saying.

Also, you can use your influence to shut off power to the orphanages. What are they gonna do about it? Tell their parents?

Yes, I want bacon shot into my mouth at 1000 m/s.

I dunno. I've connected with some women quite nicely by staring at them intensely while eating a banana slowly.

What can I say, I'm the anthropomorphic personification of the whispers of Satan, I can't help it.

If I ever see a man sitting at the end of an alley with a little fenced in part in back full of chickens, brown-bagging a hookah with an alcoholic Russian fox in his lap with a sign that reads "WILL WRITE FOR WRITING'S SAKE," I'll know just who I'm dealing with. –Xenohumanity

The internet is one big dark underbelly, and all it wants is belly rubs. nods*

Yeah, this is the part where I go back to the things I love: star systems overrun with virulent alien menaces, destructive wars, badass mercenaries, kinky lesbian bondage play, and to end off on a note that doesn't make me look perverted: MOAR WAAAR! –Karaig

I said, "Maybe we shouldn't let the government have secret orbital mind control beam platforms that activate water-flouridation activated neuro-control nanobots", I said. "It will cause problems down the road," I said.

Nobody listened.

It's like reading an acid-induced essay on holocaust jokes ethics: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=272192

its always the wrong day to stop dropping acid.

It's been 0 days since our last accident; it's also been 0 days since the best party in the Beta Quadrant –Xenohumanity

The human Phallus has a notoriously low IQ.

I am also sitting at my desk, but that is no excuse for sobriety. A fate worse than death!

You get to be the setting, and you'll have rainbow-winged fox characters bud from you in due time.
I've sent condolences to your loved ones in advance. –Xenohumanity

I have decided that you are a much more clever preteen girl than I am. -Huerdae

The jury is still out, and ultimately, a film is like mono-testicular fascist in that it can only truly be judged by history and/or approaching Russian armored units full of Russian guys who would have no problem whatsoever with Soylent Green being people.

Kids are sexualized because the cow hormones are making them hit puberty faster than African kids hit landmines.

"I'll let you torpedo my Pearl Harbor"
The only thing worse than the subject of the innuendo is the fact that it makes sense and is a good come-on. BRB, killing self. -Xenohumanity

And all those things are the standard for inter-cultural hatesex, which is often the case given how often the Viprans and Xiscapians butt heads. But that just keeps things interesting; you can always mend bones, go to the friendly therapist, or buy new furniture, but rowdy drywall-obliterating angry sex is forever. –Vipra

There are these strange questions that are asked on NSG and unfortunately I've gotten used to seeing and asking them.

"Would you like eggs for breakfast?"
"That's a little xenophobic, don't you think? Not to mention the slut shaming."

Every time I think there's a limit to how much fox you can stuff into your life, you go and prove me wrong. Fox is love. Fox is life. –Xenohumanity

Ceffy, like Xis, has much wisdom. It is as yet unclear if this is because Ceffy, like Xis, is 85% marijuanas.

I mean you could ignore all the mythology and go straight for the fox lady yes...
Don't you ever change you magnificent oddball you.

Behold the awesome power of my faggotry. Worship at its altar, lay your flesh upon its ritual blade, and know the infinite might of my own fucking retarded sense of humor. –Xenohumanity

The Year is 2303 AD. Two Powers vie for dominance over the other. Each is lead by different ideals. But most importantly they are both lead by idiots.
God help us all. Especially when they start texting me clandestine operations. –Karaig

...and probably get hit in the face with a penis, because I don't trust ANYONE who enjoys RP'ing with you. -Huerdae

I almost said "please come back when you have vagina to offer" but I decided that's a really bad idea with you. -Huerdae

Alternatively, take it off and run around naked like you do any other time someone gives you clothing.

<@Kyrusia> <Insert 'joke' about Xis being a space tricycle>

<Huerdae> This is unsettling.
<Huerdae> It implies you may be able to create multiples of various sexual organs.
<Huerdae> At will.
<Huerdae> While sexing.
<Huerdae> This is a reason I must never have sex with you

<Puz2> [09:41] (Xiscapia) Some of us are whores too y'know! <---legion in one sentence

*Shakes Magic Eight Ball*

Where Are My Pants?!

Sorry, no. Apparently I'll need it to find my pants.

Only the Xiscapian Empire would go so far as to make their national flag a pin up model. –Karaig

Don't run with scissors, Hue –Red Talons
Nobody respects my national sport. :-( -Huerdae

I feel you Levi, most everyone feels like that after their first encounter with a kitsune. It leaves you disoriented, most likely high, and almost definitely lacking in pants. –Vipra

I just noticed you've pretty much gone dark, which is ominous coming from a guy who normally juggles threads like clowns juggle chainsaws. –Setulan

[11-19 17:29:26] Huerdae So I wasn't threatening you with Xis's dildo. I was threatening you with xis's boyfriend's dragon dildo. Somehow, that is a little more terrifying.

[11-19 17:30:34] Huerdae So now you must be afraid of Xis.
[11-19 17:30:48] Huerdae Or you will be faced by Xis wielding his boyfriend's dragon dildo.
[11-19 17:30:57] Huerdae this should be a game boss somewhere.

My intellect can be constrained by a paper bag and instruction with more than two steps, but I see your point.

While my detective is hard at work trying to save Verlorenen itself, a softcore inter-species porno is occuring in 3rd Floor's van?

Xiscapia is one of the few players on nation state famous for their highly dramatic and novel like writing prose.

She doesn't have a janky pussy. She's just differently cunted. Handi-cuntable. Do people still say handicapable? Does the pun work? No? Too late, I guess, I already made it. –Xenohumanity

[quote=neornith;12479742]At round of applause to Xis for managing to not go over referencing penises a 100 times. An amazing show of restraint on his part, and I feel he needs recognition for it.[/quote]

[quote=the_gataja;12904408]But Xis, you are the lesbians.[/quote]

[quote=kyrusia;13280368]Unless you're Xis, then the only rational position is to grab them by the face and rub their ears and make baby noises at them, "Uguu!"[/quote]

[quote=vocenae;13407616]Xiscapia: See "porn"

Porn: See "Xiscapia"[/quote]

[quote=huerdae;13413814]If you're comparing yourself to Xis, you have some very, VERY big shoes to fill.[/quote]

[quote=neornith;13419996]Most of us aren't depraved enough to know what you mean, I count every lucky star I have that there's only one of you.[/quote]

[quote=vipra;13461604]Xiscapia, you're so adorable when you're tsundere.[/quote]

New conclusion: Xis is an advanced AI locked in the basement of a university out of shame. Instead of bringing about a technological singularity, all Xis did was collect the world's porn supply and play NationStates. Not a bad thing on its own, but humanity has some interesting assumptions on what an AI is gonna do once it wakes up. -New Pyrrhius

[The Siverian Republic]

Thats a lot. I, don't know what else to say.......

[The united states of Saints]

Thats a lot. I, don't know what else to say.......

I do put it in a spoiler

[The Greater Gambia]

"Hey guys, how has NSG been d-"

From the Should Nonwhites be Banned thread.

Wait, this was a thing? I say was because I can't find it anywhere.

[The Princes of the Universe]

Each of these assumes the one before it was not changed.

• Remove Andrew Johnson. Note: Do NOT prevent Lincoln's assassination, instead augment the position of the Radical Republicans. Prevent the Reconstruction Era and treat the South as an occupied enemy in the manner of Japan. Hope the end result is also like Japan, though without anime.

God. Confederate Anime.
Even more incest than usual.

[Bralia]

From the Should Nonwhites be Banned thread.

Wait, this was a thing? I say was because I can't find it anywhere.

That would be because you necroed a post from 2014.

[Rock Lobsters]

The greatest port on the Black Sea, the only one capable of housing a proper fleet. As well as, you know, the population of those areas, which are overwhelmingly pro-Russia.

Why does Russia need it's navy in the Black Sea?

And why not send the french navy to Quebec? Who will save them from Canuck treachery!?

[The Greater Gambia]

Wait, this was a thing? I say was because I can't find it anywhere.

That would be because you necroed a post from 2014.

Yeah, I realized that shortly after I posted.

[Imperializt Russia]

Let us hear your mixtape

[Wallenburg]

I don't get your figurative language. Spell it out for me.

No matter what boot you pick, you're still getting kicked in the nuts.

[Eastfield Lodge]

So we're all peace on earth and shit

And then they come. Like seriously, how the fuck are we supposed to mop the floor with ET without nukes?

Bacteria.

[Grenartia]

Bacteria.

That thread hasn't been posted in for nearly half a decade.

[Constaniana]

That thread hasn't been posted in for nearly half a decade.

The grave-digging is strong this page.

[Grenartia]

That thread hasn't been posted in for nearly half a decade.

The grave-digging is strong this page.

I think the more apt term would be grave-robbing.

[Eastfield Lodge]

That thread hasn't been posted in for nearly half a decade.

Yeah, the guy linked it in IRC, I decided to post it here.

[Wisconsin9]

The grave-digging is strong this page.

I think the more apt term would be grave-robbing.

In the sense that they're literally removing the grave from the cemetery.

[Geilinor]

"Indefensible ideology, anti-common sense" seems to be an NSG motto. One the OP appears to have embraced.

[The Siverian Republic]

I don't think either, but that's why i Love alternate history, I also have Omar Bradley take over first as "Lenin" and then Patton take over as "Stalin" with Hitler rising the power the same, just with a hate of democracy.