Pregnancies?Trotterdam wrote:What kind of trouble would the girls be getting into that's different from the boys?
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by Bears Armed » Tue Jun 02, 2015 9:12 am
Pregnancies?Trotterdam wrote:What kind of trouble would the girls be getting into that's different from the boys?
by Trotterdam » Tue Jun 02, 2015 9:27 am
Perhaps they still need to test or fine-tune the details before it's ready for publication.Jute wrote:What's up with #430? Deliberately kept a secret?
I was thinking of the stuff that's happening before the pregnancies, but I didn't want to say that.
by Lenyo » Tue Jun 02, 2015 12:01 pm
by Eaischpnaeieacgkque Bhcieaghpodsttditf » Tue Jun 02, 2015 6:47 pm
Jute wrote:What's up with #430? Deliberately kept a secret?
by Recuecn » Sat Jun 06, 2015 9:29 am
Trotterdam wrote:...I'm still pretty sure the validity on #433 is set impossibly strict, though. Has anyone gotten the issue yet?
The Reçueçn Journal
VOL. 32 NO. 433CITY FINAL
SATURDAY JUNE 6, 2015
The Worst Storm To Hit Recuecn Since...Yesterday?
The Issue
After the eighth terrible super-storm to ravage Recuecn this week, residents of the affected areas, your own advisers, and random people seeking shelter from the elements have gathered in Reçueçn to see whether anything can be done.
The Debate
"I'm tired of these storms, Leader," sighs Al Sato, who looks as though he's just been dragged through a tornado. "The winds of this last storm were over 300 kph! My house was blown away! Something must be done to prevent buildings from being destroyed. Maybe if the government made it mandatory for all buildings to pass a disaster safety test, it would solve all our problems." He plucks a bird's nest from his hair before continuing. "I'd be prepared to pay a little more in tax if I still had a roof to sleep under!"
Accept
"Did you see how many times my supposedly lightning-proofed house was struck by lightning this morning?" cries violently twitching government advisor Virginia Giono, still smoking and smelling of static. "But when I was struck for the fifth time, I had something of a light bulb moment - literally. Why not create a way to turn the lightning strikes into energy for the city? Think about it for a moment: every time a bolt of lightning hits, we could harness the energy to charge the grid. Of course installing all those conductors is going to be horribly, horribly risky, but just think of the savings once they're in place!"
Accept
"Forget the wind and lightning, did you see the hail? It's the size of minivans!" screams Lauren Broadside, her voice echoing out from her hiding place beneath your desk. "My house was flattened like a pancake! What we need is some sort of weather machine that can limit the destructive effects of these storms. Sure, it'll cost trillions of guilders in the first year alone and we'll have to divert funding from all other government departments to pay for it, but we could finally be safe."
Accept
"Never mind about the wind and the storms, they're merely a glimpse of our punishment to come!" exclaims Order of Violet cleric Mary Johnson, waving a prophetic text in your face. "The Book of Violet says that after me shall come the flood! We must retreat to the ark and prepare to cleanse our souls!"
Accept
"You're all panicking, when you should be seeing this for the great opportunity that it is!" suggests the ever cryptic Minister of Creative Solutions, Ruby Cruz. "We could make Recuecn the tourist capital of the world relating to bad weather phenomena. All we need is to set up some dangerous storm spots as sightseeing destinations and we could be rich! Maybe the temperature will actually get below -40 degrees soon so we can unveil our 'Freezing Experience' tour."
Accept
The Government Position
The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.
Dismiss This Issue
Issue by: The Ubermensch Serene Socialists of Eaischpnaeieacgkque Bhcieaghpodsttditf
Editor: Golgothastan
by Trotterdam » Sat Jun 06, 2015 9:31 am
Yes, people just started getting it yesterday. They must have changed the validity.Recuecn wrote:I'm not going to search through the rest of the thread then to see if anyone else has gotten it. I just did. Kind of ironic since the last poster is its author.
by Recuecn » Sat Jun 06, 2015 9:58 am
by Trotterdam » Sat Jun 06, 2015 10:19 am
by Sedgistan » Sat Jun 06, 2015 10:27 am
Trotterdam wrote:I've also seen traces of what might be a new issue, but I'm increasingly suspecting that the editors are no longer telling us when they're making major changes to old issues. I have guesses about which ones have been changed, but it's hard to tell for sure and it's the kind of thing people are likely to neglect to post here.
by Trotterdam » Sat Jun 06, 2015 9:28 pm
And now suddenly a lot of people did!.Trotterdam wrote:I haven't seen anyone choose option 4 yet.
by Zurkerx » Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:50 am
Easter Egg: Please, Sir, We Want Some More Issues
The Issue
With the same old dilemmas confronting Zurkerx time and time again, people are demanding to know why there aren't more genuinely new issues.
The Debate
1."Well, that's because they're all twaddle,” says [violet] matter-of-factly while twirling a lighter in her hands. "I'm sick and tired of reading that garbage. I've decided to scrap the player-submitted system -- but don't tell anyone that. The endless waves of hate mail would overwhelm the server."
Accept
2."The aim of this site is to promote my novel, not the writing talents of literary wannabes," scoffs Max Barry while sipping an iced-Margarita on a yacht in the South Pacific. "I've ordered the mods to only approve mediocre issues to ensure that no one discovers there are better writers out there than me."
Accept
3."I've been combing through the queue, carefully examining each draft and determining its potential," sighs Sedgistan who is sitting next to an orderly stack of drafts stamped 'no way in hell'. "I'm confronted with thousands upon thousands of issues. I have to manage multiple editors and somehow still place in the Mod Olympics. Do you have any idea how much stress that puts on me? That's why it takes so long. Stop breathing down my neck. If you want to be useful, go help out the newbies in Got Issues."
Accept
4."Huh? What's that?" says Sanctaria absentmindedly, looking up from an intimidating series of flow charts. "More issues? Well, it's your lucky day! I'm working on my next great chain. It will dwarf my last one in size and complexity. Forget everything you know about issues, every rule you think we can't break, because this chain is going to break them all."
Accept
5."I couldn't agree with this more!" yelps Comrade Lenyo, his arms full of drafts. "We've received over 6,000 submissions! If we just got rid of the delete button, that'd be over 6,000 more issues. Who doesn't want that? Why are we still wasting time talking about this? Why are you reading this instead of submitting more drafts for us to add? EVERY. SECOND. COUNTS!"
Accept
6.The deafening Voice of Mod booms down from the heavens, "You will receive new issues when you receive new issues. Your questioning is undermining the authority of the mods. I've deleted enough nations to know flaming when I read it. You have been warned."
AcceptIssue by: The Anti-Harry Potter Prison of Eta Carinae
Editor: Luna Amore
by Golgothastan » Sat Jun 13, 2015 12:57 am
by Trotterdam » Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:32 am
by Sanctaria » Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:45 am
Trotterdam wrote:It's this one
Apparently Lenyo got his way versus Sanctaria. (For what it's worth, I agree with Lenyo.)
by Golgothastan » Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:48 am
Sanctaria wrote:Trotterdam wrote:It's this one
Apparently Lenyo got his way versus Sanctaria. (For what it's worth, I agree with Lenyo.)
What?
by Trotterdam » Sat Jun 13, 2015 9:01 am
Err,Golgothastan wrote:I think he may have meant Sedgistan rather than Sanctaria
by Golgothastan » Sat Jun 13, 2015 9:11 am
by Lenyo » Sat Jun 13, 2015 9:39 am
Golgothastan wrote:Trotterdam wrote:Err,
Get all the details I'm not supposed to know yet right, then mess up on something that simple!
You have all the makings of a super-villain: you've create a spectacular doomsday weapon (your issues gathering script) and then overlooked some minor yet obvious detail!
(Incidentally, it's a real shame NS has never had a good issue about super-villains. Hmm...)
by Trotterdam » Sat Jun 13, 2015 9:45 am
You can build a moon cannon, or get kidnapped by a mad scientist. Our villains are about as super as they can get for a character that only appears in one issue.Golgothastan wrote:(Incidentally, it's a real shame NS has never had a good issue about super-villains. Hmm...)
by Frisbeeteria » Sat Jun 13, 2015 12:30 pm
by Trotterdam » Wed Jun 17, 2015 9:43 pm
1. "Look at @@NAME@@'s children: fat, lazy, dumb, and unsuccessful," says the book's author @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Now look at my two girls. Attending top colleges! Lawyer and doctor! Making a difference with their lives! Making good money with their lives! It takes iron discipline, regular beatings, and the sacrifice of their childhoods, and I might not remember their names every once in a while, but who cares about that when I can brag about my boys - I mean girls."I'm confused about what Mr. 3 is claiming isn't his fault.
2. "Poor babies," wails concerned mother @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, clutching her teenage son tight to her bosom. "That book suggests the most awful punishments - hit our children, starve them, make them do their homework. The worst thing I ever did to my cupcake was give him a little gold star for trying his best. I suggest we ban this book and while we are at it, lengthen the school holidays so I can take my huggle-bug to Mr Happy's Funland again."
3. "It's not my fault," yawns exhausted warehouse operative and father of four @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, after returning from a double shift, "All I ever learned at school was how to calculate a hypotenuse and how an oxbow lake is formed. Why not teach young @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ some useful life skills like raising kids, getting a job, and coping with the daily grind of life? It's all they have to look forward to, after all." He immediately falls asleep on the couch.
4. "Lion dad?" queries @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, grasping his young son under one arm, while feeding a ferocious @@ANIMAL@@ from the other. "That's actually just what our kids need these days - a taste of the wild. All newborn children should be left in the wilderness to fend for themselves. The strong and resourceful will survive to better our nation, and the weak... well at least the @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ won't go hungry."
by Sierra Lyricalia » Mon Jun 22, 2015 11:34 am
Sierra Lyricalia
1 notice • 6 new issues
« Back to Issues
1 ₦ANOTECH DOLLAR
The Makhnovia Leader
VOL. 32 NO. 436 CITY FINAL
MONDAY JUNE 22, 2015
Voters, Place Your Bets!
The Issue
In response to a news story about a casino oddsmaker using offshore betting lines to perfectly predict Sierra Lyricalia's last set of election results, interested parties have wrangled their way into your office to bicker about what to do with this potential prediction tool.
The Debate
"Have you no decency whatsoever?" thunders @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Violetist demiarchwizard of @@CAPITAL@@, before anyone else can say a word. "Even if gambling WEREN'T a mortal sin, the democratic process will fail under such a mighty burden! You must outlaw gambling on elections. Card games are one thing, but this is gambling with the very future of @@NAME@@! Oh, and we should crack down on those sinful casinos while we're at it."
Accept
"Now, there's no reason to get excited," soothes @@RANDOMNAME@@, the @@NAME@@ Commissioner of Elections. "We can use this in a nice, boring, I mean safe, kind of way. Why don't we take bets on elections like bookmakers would take bets on @@DEMONYM@@ Pharoah in the @@CAPITAL@@ Derby? If the Election Commission runs all the action, we'll keep out the riff-raff AND put a little extra cash in our domestic budgets."
Accept
"Legalized gambling on ALL votes would be real sweet for our little thing-- uh, for the economy," confides @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, an unindicted co-conspirator in the trial of notorious mobster Maxine "The Octopus" Barryotti. "Folks should be allowed to make a little somethin' when their favorites win, am I right? More jobs, more civic participation! And just between you and me, we could really clean up." He nudges you with his elbow, glances around, and continues quietly, "Some candidates might just be headed for a fall, know what I mean?"
Accept
The Government Position
The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.
Dismiss This Issue
Issue by: The Evangelizing Metasyndicate of Sierra Lyricalia
Editor: Golgothastan
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