The Lazarene Gazette - First Broadsheet!

[Journalist Bodobol]

(OOC Note: All supposed modragimg in this article isn't actual modrage; I just thought it would be fun to spice up the article a bit.)




Subversive Moderators Wage A Bourgeoisie War On Poll Equality!


Truly this oppression of socialist doctrine must end!

In a tragedy for socialists worldwide, the art of making polls equal through invasive force has been declared illegal!

On March 11, a region was founded named 'Poll Police', with the noble intent to rectify severe inequality in regional polls. Through constant work and laudable dedication, multiple polls in regions such as Heavy Metal Heaven and Alliance of Homework were made completely equal and fair for all poll options.

However, after a mere 22 hours of valiantly fighting capitalist oppressors, the hammer of the bourgeoisie capitalists fell. As the Poll Police were sleeping in their barracks after a tiresome mission, the raid alarms went off as a vicious group of armed vigilantes known as moderators stormed the doors. The strike was sudden and brutal; several officers were slaughtered before they could even get out of their beds. Only seven of the twenty-one officers escaped the building, though it is not certain if the chase has been discarded as of now.

The remaining Poll Police have chosen to flee and keep their cover low in order to protect themselves from coming under modly wrath. It is also reported that the founder of the Poll Police, Bodobol, was warned by the bandit vigilante group in a threatening letter.

It is suspected that the attacks were prompted by one of the aforementioned assimilated regions, Alliance of Homework. A comment left on the region by one confused ballot counter named Gymnaustia contained the following text-
"Who the heck is the poll police? They should be banned for spamming all the votes.
Only three hours after the comment was made, the crackdown on the Police happened.

The move, quite predictably, created outrage in Lazarus due to its anti-socialist, corrupt nature. Comrade Codger, in response to the massacre, published a retort and plea for the end of the war on poll equality. A modly diplomat by the handle of NERVUN has responded to the plea, stating that the request is currently under consideration. While we do not know the final ruling as of yet, we can hope with all our hearts that this silent genocide against poll socialism will end.

[RiderSyl]

^{I wonder who that puppet belongs to.}

[Zaolat]

^{I wonder who that puppet belongs to.}

I'm pretty sure it's NPU.

[Carta]

I for one do not understand the double standard. How is poll raiding any more disruptive and spammy to regional communities than sending in a bunch of WA nations to take over the delegacy and banject everyone?

Nice article, Bodobol. Glad to see that you're porting the nslazarus.com articles onto NS now.

[Bodobol]

^{I wonder who that puppet belongs to.}

It wasn't exactly an attempt to hide my identity.

[The North Polish Union]

^{I wonder who that puppet belongs to.}

I'm pretty sure it's NPU.

Obviously Bodobol and I are the same person. Did it really take all you guys that long to figure that out?

[Zaolat]

I'm pretty sure it's NPU.

Obviously Bodobol and I are the same person. Did it really take all you guys that long to figure that out?

I was joking, I randomly pulled a name off the top of my head.

[The North Polish Union]

Obviously Bodobol and I are the same person. Did it really take all you guys that long to figure that out?

I was joking, I randomly pulled a name off the top of my head.

...and chose the one person that actually was Bodobol. Truly you have the gift of prophecy... or something like that...

[Zaolat]

I was joking, I randomly pulled a name off the top of my head.

...and chose the one person that actually was Bodobol. Truly you have the gift of prophecy... or something like that...

Maybe I'm the Dragonborn Seer, and I just don't know it yet.

[Benevolent Thomas]

I for one do not understand the double standard. How is poll raiding any more disruptive and spammy to regional communities than sending in a bunch of WA nations to take over the delegacy and banject everyone?

Indeed. I do not understand how making polls is any worse than defacing a native WFE and flag, removing the region tags, closing all of a region's embassies and suppressing the entirety of a RMB. In the end you are taking advantage of a game mechanic to influence the administrative settings of a region. Obviously if polls are all evil then all regional manipulation via invasion is evil and should be eliminated.

[Zaolat]

I for one do not understand the double standard. How is poll raiding any more disruptive and spammy to regional communities than sending in a bunch of WA nations to take over the delegacy and banject everyone?

Indeed. I do not understand how making polls is any worse than defacing a native WFE and flag, removing the region tags, closing all of a region's embassies and suppressing the entirety of a RMB. In the end you are taking advantage of a game mechanic to influence the administrative settings of a region. Obviously if polls are all evil then all regional manipulation via invasion is evil and should be eliminated.

Nah.

[Drop Your Pants]

I for one do not understand the double standard. How is poll raiding any more disruptive and spammy to regional communities than sending in a bunch of WA nations to take over the delegacy and banject everyone?

We're teaching them not to make their government polls public

[The Lazarene Gazette]

Market Report: Exports of Democracy Down
Traders Worry, Call for Action

By New Kervoskia| 15 March, 2014

Some brokers have lost everything in the slump

Trading Floor, NS Mercantile Exchange. Spring can’t come soon enough. This winter was harsh on agricultural markets and commodities brokerages the world over took a beating. Nowhere is this struggle more pronounced than the democracy market.

“No one’s buying. No one can move anything,” said Cormac Stark Somerset, former floor head at global commodities firm Ra & Sons.

Somerset, who’s since moved on to become Director of Acquisitions at BOM International, fears it’s a global problem.

“It’s remarkable. The market’s frozen – it’s a democratic deficit. Just take a look at Lazarus. Used to be they were the biggest importer, now nothing!”

Firms have already laid off thousands of people due to the slump. But it’s more than money - it’s a worrying trend.

“When a region stops importing democracy it sends a startling message. Mainly, that regions don’t need to import another region’s form of government, that it can decide for itself. The world depends on trade and this sets us down a dangerous path.”

But can the market correct itself?

According to Somerset it might need some help.

“Free markets can get a little too free. Sometimes they need external stimulation. It’s not unreasonable to request sanctions on regions whose imports of democracy are lagging. I wouldn’t say that for many crops, but democracy’s been a staple since the markets began.”

Until then traders will have to keep their fingers crossed and hope for spring.

Don't forget to visit the Lazarene Gazette on the People's Republic of Lazarus official forum!

[Funkadelia]

This article is really perfect.

[Cormacville]

An entire article about me? Aww, thanks guys!

[Neo Kervoskia]

An entire article about me? Aww, thanks guys!

I could fill pages and pages!

[The Lazarene Gazette]

Revolutionary Workers Cadres Formed to Fight Imperialist-Raider Bourgeois Cabal!

After declaring that the People's Republic would undergo a great Cultural Revolution in order to purge the last creeping vestiges of the Raider-Imperialist Bourgeois Cabal that once oppressed Lazarus' great masses, Comrade Chairman Kazmr announced the spontaneous formation of revolutionary workers cadres around Lazarus known as Red Guards whose sole purpose seems to be advancing the great cause of Socialist Defenderism.

These Red Guards seem to be made up of passionate young patriots inspired by their upbringing within the Harmonious Society of Lazarus and who want to devote their lives to the cause of Revolution. Masses of Red Guard youth have taken to the streets in the Scarlet City and around the People's Republic. From rooting out traitors who would otherwise have spread the plagues of raiderism or imperialism unseen to erecting ad-hoc monuments to the great revolutionary heroes of old, all they do is for the proletariat!

There is even talk among members in the larger cities of getting back to traditional Lazarene life. By shaking up the rigid urban social order founded by the oppressive classes and bringing those who have become to sheltered to work in the fields, Lazarus' proud culture can be further reignited!

Said one youth, "I do this for my fellow workers, inspired by tales of Milograd and Harmoneia bringing about our Harmonious Society! When the whole of the downtrodden classes band together, we can achieve every one of their visions!"

---

Reactionaries Purged!

In addition to dozens of suspected raider and imperialist puppets, two prominent reactionary have already been purged from the region since the Cultural Revolution began!

The first is one Owls in a Fridge, also known as Tano. Though he has long been a citizen in Lazarus, it is widely known that Tano has engaged in raiding across NationStates. This vile act cannot be condoned in this new era of Cultural Revolution, and those practitioners of raiding, like Tano who is rumored to be attempting to influence young Lazarenes to join him, must go!

Culture Governor Bodobol is the other purged member of the party, perhaps to the surprise of some. Most do not know that Bodobol, though he claims to be a defender, is actually a raider spy within Lazarus! After claiming disillusionment with the glorious righteousness of Socialist Defenderism, Bodobol briefly resigned from the Lazarene Liberation Army to secretly join the infamous raider organization the Brothrhood of Malice. Though he publicly left the BoM soon thereafter to rejoin the LLA, it was not in the spirit of the revolutionary fire! Once in the BoM Bodobol had actually been turned and his rejoining Lazarus' patriotic military was little more than an attempt to subvert Socialist Defenderism as an agent of the counter-revolutionaries!

More purges are soon to come as those who advocate Raiderism or Imperialism in Lazarus are rooted out, and those who shy away to 'moderate' stances face Revolutionary action!

---

[Benevolent Thomas]

10/10 I fell for it and was excited as hell about it +

[Pergamon]

Try to purge me! Soon you will see that your pityful revolution will fail.

Onward in the glorious ride of hate.

[Cormacville]

It's bad that I was pretty sure this was a joke, but only pretty sure.

[Kazmr]

It's bad that I was pretty sure this was a joke, but only pretty sure.

Joke? What makes you think that the spontaneous mass uprisings by the people to throw out those who fight against the revolution is any sort of joke?

[Lazarene Gazette]

LazXChange Launched - Private Enterprise Emerges in the PRL
The Lazarene Gazette

April 14, 2014

[OOC: tl;dr - Hobbes, in his infinite wisdom, added an epic economy system to our forum. Check it out.]

PICTURED: The opening theme of LAZTV's newest hit, hosted by Hobbes.

Door Street, Lazarus - ByteCoin was deemed to be too much of a leap for Lazarus, but it did inspire a change in the regional economy, including the creation of a new regional currency, the Phoenix Fen.

Furthermore, for the first time in Lazarene history, a fledging stock exchange's day was opened with the ringing of a bronze bell. Hobbes, administrator and founder of the Door Stress, proudly announced the long-anticipated opening of LazXChange. "With this move, we hope to modernize the Lazarene economy," Hobbes said, "but we will certainly stay true to the pure values instilled in the population by Milograd and the founders of our People's Republic."

Despite his assurances of staying true to the harmonious path, former colleagues of Milograd are not as certain that a stock exchange has a place in Lazarus. Indeed, this operation is the first instance in the PRL's existence where private enterprise has emerged. Citizens of Lazarus are flocking to get their stake settled in the new exchange, and the State is also, according to the Governor of Economics, planning to invest in LX.

PICTURED: Milograd and the Governor of Economics during the PRL's infancy. They are reportedly on less positive terms now.

"The People's Republic of Lazarus is committed to upholding the beliefs of our founders and the path that the Lazarene region has chosen to march on," he said in an official statement, "and our choice to allow private enterprise and the new exchange in no ways makes us any less devout to the invincible principles of Milograd." Chairman Kazmr has received applause for his willingness to engage this system as a possibility for the future of Lazarus, but has stated that its success and merit, in a way very characteristic of Lazarus, will be a large factor in determining whether or not the economy stays the course or steps backwards.

The largest stock of the moment is "Black Sheep Whiskey", which sells alcohol and sheep memorabilia to a demographic of carefree Irishmen in the military province of Lazarus.

[Babble On]

What's all this boring stuff?

I know you all like to play Communist dressup, but why no word about the operation in the Soviet Bloc, hmmmm?

Does the LLA have no comment?

A kiss for a comment!

[Feux]

What's all this boring stuff?

I know you all like to play Communist dressup, but why no word about the operation in the Soviet Bloc, hmmmm?

Does the LLA have no comment?

A kiss for a comment!

Because not everything is about that?

[Babble On]

What's all this boring stuff?

I know you all like to play Communist dressup, but why no word about the operation in the Soviet Bloc, hmmmm?

Does the LLA have no comment?

A kiss for a comment!

Because not everything is about that?

Well duh, but I was just thinking you know, just little old me, that it would at least merit a mention.

No need to give me the raised eyebrow, Senator. Gosh.