Inaugural CAFA Cup: RP/Scores Thread

[Legalese]

H/T to Starblaydia for the Logo

Welcome to the Inaugural CAFA Cup! Legalese welcomes our fellow Anaians to our humble home for the first-ever edition of Anaia's Regional Association Football Championships. At least twenty-four sides will take place in this knockdown, drag out fight for regional bragging rights. Please use this thread for any RP posts; scores will be posted here as well.

For more information on the format and details, check out the Roster/Signups/Bid Thread

Teams and Rosters
Group A
Legalese
Osarius
Austailia
Savigliane
Flavovespia
Cobrio

Group B
Pyazhnaya
Kotzellach
Cocoabo Forest
Vdara
Avorago
Xuois

Group C
Krytenia
Ko-oren
Aut-Ves-Nat
Audioslavia
Starblaydia
Huayramarca

Group D
Mertagne
Northwest Kalactin
Grande Cucina
Mont Vert
Perlasilangan
Chromatika

Group E
Iskandervale
Xannerian Sunbelt Islands
Ochre Islands
Yesopalitha
Saltstead
Independent Athletes from Quebec


Format: Starting with a group stage of five groups of six teams. After five MDs, the top four teams will advance to the knockouts, with Group Winners seeded 1-5, 2nd placed sides seeded 6-10, 3rd placed sides seeded 11-15, and 4th placed sizes seeded 16-20. 13-20 will meet in a play-in round, to join the top 12 in the round of 16. Pairings will be determined by the seed going into the playoffs, with no reseeding.

Schedule (tentative)
Friday, July 2: Sign-ups close
Monday, July 5: Pre-Draw RP Cutoff and Draw
Wednesday, July 7: MD 1 (1 v 6, 2 v 5, 3 v 4)
Thursday, July 8: MD 2 (5 v 1, 4 v 6, 3 v 2)
Friday, July 9: MD 3 (1 v 4, 5 v 3, 6 v 2)
July 10 & 11: Off Days
Monday, July 12: MD 4 (3 v 1, 2 v 4, 6 v 5)
Tuesday, July 13: MD 5 (1 v 2, 3 v 6, 4 v 5)
Wednesday, July 14: Play-in Round:
P1: 13 v 20
P2: 14 v 19
P3: 15 v 18
P4: 16 v 17
Thursday, July 15: Round of 16:
R1: 1 v P4 Winner
R2: 8 v 9
R3: 4 v P1 Winner
R4: 5 v 12
R5: 2 v P3 Winner
R6: 7 v 10
R7: 3 v P2 Winner
R8: 6 v 11
Friday, July 16: Quarterfinal
Q1: R1 Winner v R2 Winner
Q2: R3 Winner v R4 Winner
Q3: R5 Winner v R6 Winner
Q4: R7 Winner v R8 Winner
July 17 & 18: Off Days
Monday, July 19: Semifinal
S1: Q1 Winner v Q2 Winner
S2: Q3 Winner v Q4 Winner
Tuesday, July 20: 3PPO
Wednesday, July 21: Final



Cutoffs will be on/after 7 PM Mountain Time (UTC -6) on the days listed; be advised that this will be the following calendar date for a portion of our participants.

RP Bonus Reminder -- Make it a Breve!
Remember that every RP cutoff period includes the opportunity to earn, on top of the maximum 2 points per cutoff for the RP bonus, a bonus for brevity. Every RP containing no more than 300 words (and one picture) shall earn an additional 0.5 RP points; an RP with 301 - 500 words (and one picture) shall earn an additional 0.25 points. This word count covers the entire cutoff period -- if you post multiple times, the words (and total pictures) are added together. Attempts to use the picture to circumvent the word count will not be eligible for the brevity bonus.

Good luck to all!

[Legalese]

Welcome to Legalese!

Legalese is a massive, cultured nation extending from the shores of Bekk Lake into the Karin Islands. It ranks among the multiverse’s top nations in terms of food quality (our apologies for the annoying chef personalities this can occasionally proliferate regional culture as a result), and manages to be both among the strongest in per capita income, while having a remarkably level income distribution. The end result is a joyous, pleasant nation that continues to strive for a clean, sustainable lifestyle, now ready to welcome you to our shores for the Inaugural CAFA Cup!

Here’s what you should know about Legalese:

• Border Entry: In general, all holders of a valid passport from an Anaian nation will be welcomed either through the international entry port at Port Hound (located on the smaller of the Karin Islands -- some would say it exists solely as the “s” on “Karin Islands”), at a clearance station for those entering by rail or car by Starblaydia, or by sea at any convenient port along the Bekk, Legal Pass, or via the surrounding seas. At the crossing, any visitors from an Anaian nation will automatically be granted a visa for the duration of the tournament, plus an additional week on each end. Note that entry to Legalese via car will require a car that meets our strict emissions standards, which typically means that it will likely not be permitted to have an internal combustion engine; you are welcome to park it in a provided lot at the border for the duration of your visit.
  
• Getting Around: Each city varies, but generally speaking, Legalese has a robust public transit system, offering buses and trains for both getting around the city, as well as intercity travel. At the furthest, a train from Port Hound to Sagdineo will take a little as six hours in express mode -- most other trips will be much shorter.
  
  Private car service and rental cars are available as well; just keep in mind that we drive on the right in Legalese, and that roundabouts are the preferred traffic control design of the Traffic Engineers Corp. Also, any car you drive is bound to be electrically powered; fortunately, in addition to charging stations being ubiquitous, there are also quick swap battery services at most service stations, especially those owned and operated by Bob’s Towing and Electric Car Service (not to be confused with the Leaguealese National club side that shares its’ name). If your car starts to lob, take it to Bob’s!
  
• Food and Drink: Legalese cuisine follows the farm-to-table ethos, with a goal on fresh ingredients, raised carefully and for quality, not quantity. The end result? A good meal, no matter your dietary preferences -- unless your dietary preference is “my food should go through three factories before I eat it.”
  
  As for beverages, the mantra is “Support your local roaster/brewer/distiller”. If you’re looking for caffeine, beer, wine, or something with more of a kick, look for local and follow the locals and long lines for quality. And don’t forget to try the espresso!
• Other Cultural Notes: Expect the typical Legalite to be really into some craft or hobby, be it woodworking, art, sports, or similar. For the most part, asking the question “what do you do?” is more likely to generate a response along those lines, rather than their actual professions; it might also mean enduring a half-hour discussion over the merits of the right wood for making furniture, or some other hobby-specific topic.
  
• What if I want to stay? Legalese welcomes foreign residents on visa to immigrate! Generally, this requires entry into the Civil Service; those who complete a term of two years or more applying their skills in a needed essential service will be granted full citizenship, including rights to hold elected office, as well as the higher tier of the universal benefit. There’ve been many foriegn-born citizens of Legalese who have earned their citizenship that way, including the family of Director-General Abigail Calvetti -- her parents immigrated when she was a child, and she followed in their footsteps, serving Legalese better than many who actually grew up here.

Where you will be playing:

A total of sixteen stadia will be utilized for the inaugural CAFA. They include:
Shoreline Park, Spetz-Tessah

Built roughly five years ago in the slightly-newer city of Spetz-Tessa, Shoreline Park seats 45,328, with a single-tiered Oceanside Stand along one touchline (containing the press and coach/executive bottles), connected to the double-tiered Sunset End. The larger Cityside Stand on the opposite touchline is also double-tiered, with reports of further growth coming. The Sunrise End is disconnected from the others, giving a window to the ocean -- the angular nature of the layout makes this possible -- and is a single tier with a large scoreboard behind it. During qualifying for World Cup 88, it was the Island home for the Legalese National Team, in addition to serving as the home for second division side STFC, whose proclivity for night games has given them the nickname “The Moonies”.

Match Schedule:
MD1: Osarius v. Flavovespia (Group A)
MD2: Saltstead v. Iskandervale (Group E)
MD3: Mertagne v. Mont Vert (Group D)
MD4: Huayramarca v. Starblaydia (Group C)
MD5: Cocoabo Forest v. Xuois (Group B)
Round of 16: 8 v 9
Semi Final: Q3 v Q4 Winners


City Grounds, Mainsail

Also a fairly new stadium, City Grounds was built just off of the central square in the coastal community of Mainsail, located north of Spetz-Tessah along the shoreline. Seating 31,293, Mainsail is used to hosting second-division side SC Mainsail.

Match Schedule:
MD1: Austaila v. Savigliane (Group A)
MD2: Ochre Islands v. Xannerian Sunbelt Islands (Group E)
MD3: Perlasilangan v. Grande Cucina (Group D)
MD4: Aut-Ves-Nat v. Krytenia (Group C)
MD5: Vdara v. Avorago (Group B)
Play-In Round: 13 v 20

Community Park, Comunas

Comunas was a little-discussed city, and is among the smallest locales to host a game in Legalese during the CAFA. Founded some ninety years ago, the port setting helped with its early growth, though still outstripped by the central city of Tyrellia by threefold.

The thing that has pushed Comunas, however, has been through the on-pitch success of the Comunas Cougars, who were the first winners of the Federation Open Cup, and have had success both domestically and intercontinentially, particularly with a presence in the Liganaia. Even more impressive is that Comunas Cougars are the club to introduce community ownership -- now the predominant model in Legalese. Community Park -- now on its’ second iteration -- reflects the success of the team. The newly-rebuilt park now seats 72,000, with three tiers and no roofing all around, and the Cougars wouldn’t have it any other way.

Match Schedule:
MD1: Legalese v. Cobrio (Group A)
MD2: Yesopalitha v. Independent Athletes from Quebec (Group E)
MD3: Chromatika v. Northwest Kalactin (Group D)
MD4: Ko-oren v. Audioslavia (Group C)
MD5: Pyazhnaya v. Kotzellach (Group B)
Round of 16: 1 v P4 Winner

Horseshoe Stadium, Brecorn

Brecorn is the definition of a “commuter city”. With both Comunas and Tyrellia in easily reachable distance, Brecorn’s growth is more about being a place for folks looking to avoid the city life of their nearby counterparts.

That’s reflected, to some extent, in the home pitch for National side Brecorn City. Appropriately named, Horseshoe Stadium seats 32,000 in a Horseshoe configuration, leaving a repreive behind the keepers for at least forty-five minutes.

Match Schedule:
MD1: Cocoabo Forest v. Vdara (Group B)
MD2: Austailia v. Osarius (Group A)
MD3: Independent Athletes from Quebec v. Xannerian Sunbelt Islands (Group E)
MD4: Northwest Kalactin v. Mont Vert (Group D)
MD5: Aut-Ves-Nat v. Huayramarca (Group C)
Play In Round: 16 v 17



The Coliseum, Tyrellia
International Pitch, Tyrellia

Tyrellia’s history and status make it the “second capital” of Legalese, in particular as the center of the Karin Islands. Hailing back to the days of the Karin people, who once formed the nation of Casari, the city is as old, if not older than even Francis City in concept -- however, the modern incarnation, even with a century of history, may be more of a tribute than a continuation of the ancient city. What this city does have, however, are two strong footballing clubs: International of Tyrellia, who play in the suburbs at International Pitch, and the oft-successful Tyrellia Titans, who play downtown in The Coliseum.

The Coliseum is an elliptical bowl stadium, designed with some of the same principles that were later used on Francis City’s City Stadium. Seating 63,254, The seating pitch and angle helps keep the sound inside the bowl, creating a deafening atmosphere for all who enter it – something that has both helped and hurt the Titans at home.

International Pitch, meanwhile, is a less-steep bowl, but one that can hold nearly 100,000 attendees -- the largest stadium in Legalese. Admittedly, it’s almost too big for International, but inertia largely keeps the stadium from downsizing projects.

Match Schedule for The Coliseum:
MD1: Pyazhnaya v. Xuois (Group B)
MD2: Flavovespia v. Legalese (Group A)
MD3: Saltstead v. Ochre Islands (Group E)
MD4: Grande Cucina v. Mertagne (Group D)
MD5: Krytenia v. Ko-oren (Group C)
Round of 16: 4 v P1 Winner
Third Place Playoff

Match Schedule for International Pitch:
MD1: Kotzellach v. Avorago (Group B)
MD2: Savigliane v. Cobrio (Group A)
MD3: Iskandervale v. Yesopalitha (Group E)
MD4: Perlasilangan v. Chromatika (Group D)
MD5: Audioslavia v. Starblaydia (Group C)
Quarterfinal: R1 v R2 Winners



City Stadium, Francis City

For all the history other parts of the nation may hold, Francis City may very well hold the most. While use of the word “founding” is complicated, what became Legalese started in Francis City. Despite being first, it’s not the most football-forward city; despite having a number of clubs waging for local bragging rights, it’s rare to see more than one at the top level. City Stadium was built for World Cup 68, but also intended to serve as a home site that would help reverse the perennial trend of Francis City as a second city for soccer.

Newly renovated for the CAFA, It seats 41,132, using a rectangular style that contains no corner seating, but keeps the fans close by stacking the three tiers of seats at a sharp angle. Upon revealing the design, the architect commented that it "will provide the proper acoustics to make the stadium feel like there's 100,000 cheering on the home team".

Match Schedule:
MD1: Grande Cucina v. Mont Vert (Group D)
MD2: Aut-Ves-Nat v. Ko-oren (Group C)
MD3: Avorago v. Cocoabo Forest (Group B)
MD4: Cobrio v. Flavovespia (Group A)
MD5: Iskandervale v. Xannerian Sunbelt Islands (Group E)
Quarterfinal: R3 v R4 Winners


Caerangelion, Numalia

Numalia is -- for lack of a better term -- the younger sibling to Francis City. Founded as a port town, it’s grown into a city of trade, commerce, and tourism. Where it distinguishes itself most from it’s adjacent neighbor is on the pitch. Draig Goch FC is a mainstay in the competition, typically at or near the top of the table. Even without much of an organized league to call home, their home pitch, Caerangelion, typically sells out, no matter the match. The sixty year old stadium -- whose name roughly translates to “Home of the Angels” aka. Memorial Stadium -- Has been lovingly maintained, retaining the 49,254 seats in a simple bowl-configuration, just as established for World Cup 68.

Match Schedule:
MD1: Northwest Kalactin v. Perlasilangan (Group D)
MD2: Starblaydia v. Krytenia (Group C)
MD3: Xuois v. Kotzellach (Group B)
MD4: Austailia v. Legalese (Group A)
MD5: Ochre Islands v. Independent Athletes from Quebec (Group E)
Round of 16: 5 v 12

Protectorate Road, Tiberia

Tiberia, is a city with a few purposes. First, it was a main settlement in the North after the days of early expansion, helping define Legalese’s border with Starblaydia. Second, it’s a city named after a Starblaydi figure, Lord-Protector Tiberius Starblayde; ostensibly, it was done to honor the Lord-Protector during one of Legalese’s struggling periods, where foreign assistance temporarily propped up a collapsed central government. Some suggest it was left that way after the occupation switched from charm offensive to revolting during the brief reign of his usurper, in part to remind Starblaydia the Legalese was Still Here.

At any rate, still being there is a key part of Protectorate Road’s history. Last renovated for World Cup 68, its’ place along the main road in Tiberia helped it win out in Project Legacy, being tapped by the Federation for a refresh over the suburban-based Park of the Phoenix. Seating 61,000, the stadium remains one of the larger locations, and is expected to host at least one playoff match.

Match Schedule:
MD1: Mertagne v. Chromatika (Group D)
MD2: Audioslavia v. Huayramarca (Group C)
MD3: Pyazhnaya v. Vdara (Group B)
MD4: Osarius v. Savigliane (Group A)
MD5: Saltstead v. Yesopalitha (Group E)
Round of 16: 2 v P3 Winner
Semifinal: Q1 v Q2 Winners

Declaration Point, Foxchester

For so many Legalites, if you were to be brutally honest, the Declaration of Foxchester had a minimal effect on their lives. Expulsion and denial of entry to some foreign lands? Not an issue -- it’s not like most citizens had left the country. Changes in relations? The response might be a shrug. Short of war, the day-to-day life of Legalites in Anaia was, pretty much, the day-to-day life of Legalites in Atlantian Oceania.

However, if you lived in the city on the southern mainland coast formerly known as Gavelton, the change was a little more than a purple-and-green flag flying next to the black-and-red. Notably, the sleepy town-near-city went from being on the southern coast, to being the southern tip, becoming Gavelton Cape.

The town itself, however, changed its’ name to Foxchester. Some said it was a clause in the NEATO treaty, but when asked to point to it, those same persons changed the subject quickly.

Declaration Point serves as the home for the clubs Rhinos and Java Forest. It seats 41,284, and offers views of the Legal Pass as it opens into the Sound, now extending further inland.

Match Schedule:
MD1: Iskandervale v. Independent Athletes from Quebec (Group E)
MD2: Perlasilangan v. Mertagne (Group D)
MD3: Krytenia v. Audioslavia (Group C)
MD4: Cocoabo Forest v. Pyazhnaya (Group B)
MD5: Austailia v. Cobrio (Group A)
Quarterfinal: R5 v R6 Winners

National Stadium, Legalese City
It has seen much: the rise of the National Team, the lull and stagnancy,
the resurgence, and the fall again, but still it stands for Project Legacy. Located in the nation's capital, National Stadium
generally serves as the primary stadium for the Federation's national team,
as well as the home pitch for National League side LC Capitals. It is an
all-seater, with a capacity of 83,068 through the three tiers of seating, as
well as a bank of 20 private boxes, and is known to rattle and sway with the
noise and stomping of the crowd. Will likely be saved for only one or two matches in total.

Match Schedule:
MD5: Legalese v. Osarius (Group A)
Final


Butterman Park, Binchensburg
Binchensburg’s history is that of a blue collar town; home to a good chunk of the nation’s manufacturing industries. As automation and improved efficiencies, combined with the universal benefit and service options changed the face of the nation, Binchenburg also changed -- the city retained a blue collar touch, but the work changed to more hobbies -- metal sculpting, competitive bar games, and sports went from being diversions to real activity.

That said, the two local clubs -- Yellowjacket FC and Binchensburg Athletic -- remain known not for their success, but for their hard-nosed, gritty style of play, which translates to their shared home.

A rebuild and rename of Wicker Park, host to World Cup 68 matches, Butterman Park’s focus was on right-sizing the seating to 49,000, while taking advantage of the local metalwork community to create an intricate exterior design to the bowl, giving the crowd the history of the city in the images surrounding the site.

Match Schedule:
MD1: Xannerian Sunbelt Islands v. Saltstead (Group E)
MD2: Mont Vert v. Chromatika (Group D)
MD3: Starblaydia v. Aut-Ves-Nat (Group C)
MD4: Kotzellach v. Vdara (Group B)
Play In Round: 14 v 19


Service Station Field, Plainsview

There’s, admittedly, little to say about Plainsview that the name doesn’t cover. Officially, the historic records behind the existence of the city are lost to time and memory, but the locals like to say that it exists because it has to.

One thing that the City can tout, however, is being the home of one of the more eclectic domestic sides in Legalese’s mixed club soccer history. Bob’s Towing, named after the auto towing service that helped found and continues to support them, emerged as one of Legalese’s earliest national and intercontinental competitors, looking to make their mark in the IFCF.

Their home field, Service Station Field, reflects that history. It was built upon the site of Bob’s first location in Plainsview, fully funded by the club and company together, replacing their previous home site, on the verge of collapse. The stadium is a bowl-style stadium seating 52,380, with a retractable roof, and 10,000 charging stations, so that fans can charge their electric cars while watching the action inside.

Match Schedule:
MD1: Ochre Islands v. Yesopalitha (Group E)
MD2: Grande Cucina v. Northwest Kalactin (Group D)
MD3: Huayramarca v. Ko-oren (Group C)
MD4: Xuois v. Avorago (Group B)
MD5: Savigliane v. Flavovespia (Group A)
Round of 16: 7 v 10


Mallahar International Stadium, Okerson

Okerson, while heavily urbanized due to population, has a bit of an odd feel to it -- a metropolis with rural farmland surrounding it, no real in-between. It sits east of Sagdineo, and was sometimes joked as the last point of “civilization” between Sagdineo and Binchensburg -- a joke very out of date, especially as rural tourism has boomed of late.

The main stadium in town, Mallahar International, was named after the late chair of Okerson United, Johan Mallahar. He added the term “International” to the name as a joke, stating that building a brand new pitch would put the city on the map. That was over fifty years ago , but Johan continues to get his wish. Mallahar seats 51,093, the majority concentrated on the west stand, set to be taller as a sun block.
Match Schedule:
MD1: Krytenia v. Huayramarca (Group C)
MD2: Avorago v. Pyazhnaya (Group B)
MD3: Legalese v. Savigliane (Group A)
MD4: Ochre Islands v. Iskandervale (Group E)
MD5: Mertagne v. Northwest Kalactin (Group D)
Play-In Round: 15 v 18
Quarterfinal: R7 v R8 Winners

Arbuckle Park - Morven
Morven is a city oft-overshadowed by Sagdineo, despite also being a Bekkside city. Morven sits on the border with Starblaydia, and tends to be a quiet place, especially on Mondays; in fact, that’s how Morven Monday -- the Leaguealese National side that plays at Arbuckle -- got their name, as the day of the week best-suited for organizing a game. Mondays may technically no longer exist in the Legal Calendar, but they’ll live in Morven.

Arbuckle Park seats 30,541, in an asymmetrical design, with the bulk of the seating facing the Bekk.

Match Schedule:
MD1: Ko-oren v. Starblaydia (Group C)
MD2: Vdara v. Xuois (Group B)
MD3: Flavovespia v. Austailia (Group A)
MD4: Xannerian Sunbelt Islands v. Yesopalitha (Group E)
MD5: Grande Cucina v. Chromatika (Group D)
Round of 16: 3 v P2 Winner



Coastal Pitch - Sagdineo
Located on the southern shores of Lake Bekk, Coastal Pitch isthe home of National League side Coastal United, an entity formed out of the partnership between Coastal University, and former semipro side Bekknia Athletic. The most notable feature is the lower bowl, which holds two-thirds of the stadium’s 67,982 seats, making it the largest lower level in Legalese; as well as an upper deck oriented on the eastern and southern sides of the stadium, giving those at the very top a view of the mighty Bekk.

Match Schedule:
MD1: Aut-Ves-Nat v. Audioslavia (Group C)
MD2: Cocoabo Forest v. Kotzellach (Group B)
MD3: Cobrio v. Osarius (Group A)
MD4: Independent Athletes from Quebec v. Saltstead (Group E)
MD5: Mont Vert v. Perlasilangan (Group D)
Round of 16: 6 v 11

[Audioslavia]

“You can’t subvert something before it’s even been verted” :- Someone who wasn't a smartarse.
Also dark mode users will be confused.

.


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Eurico nets the winner against Banija as the Bulls take third place (image source: Getty Images)

[Kotzellach]

Die Kotzellacher Zeitung
International Edition

KFV Announces Participation In CAFA Cup; To Make Debut Alongside World Stars in Legalese

KOTZELLACH CITY — A new dawn has broken upon the previously insular and underfunded spectacle that is Kotzellachian football, with the Ministry for Information and Culture today announcing that the Kotzellachian Football Association would be sending a twenty-three player squad for the inaugural CAFA Cup in Legalese.

When asked about whether this announcement was brought on by the recent success of the Handball World Cup team, who reached the Finals to lose to Sarzonia, Minister Emma Heider admitted that such plans to participate in international football had been in the pipeline for "quite a while", but had been "accelerated" following the handball team's success in Bollonich and Equestria. Despite the team's successes, it was observed that few actually followed the progress of the team, with attention being paid more towards the regional and geopolitical situation which has now been resolved. Ms. Heider said that they hoped the team's participation in the cup would help "boost intra-regional relations", particularly with neighbours such as Mertagne, who have recently but come out of international isolation, and Quebec and Shingoryeo, a long-time ally.

The team will be helmed by former Hansa Kotzellach SV and Reissinseln SC manager Bernard Schöber. Schöber, 65, won four Kotzellachian national championships with Hansa Kotzellach, and most recently managed Reissinseln SC to a runners-up position in the league before leaving. Four years after his last job, Schöber announced his delight at taking up a job in international football, and promised not to let the expectant supporters of the Red Foxes down.

That being said, most expectations for a run into the tournament are low — after all, the region sports multiple strong sporting countries like World Cup third-placed team Audioslavia, quarterfinalists and five-time world champions Starblaydia, and World Cup hosts Chromatika. Other sides include perennial semifinalists Krytenia and northern neighbours Grande Cucina, whose status in the tournament remains unclear after it was revealed that some paperwork was filled out wrongly.

All in all, Schöber has indicated his preference, as usual, for a defensive game; and despite the longstanding rivalry between the two Kotzellach City sides, 1. FC Kotzellach captain and defensive midfielder Franz Preuß has been given the captain's armband for the tournament. All eyes in Kotzellach will certainly be following the exploits of the Red Foxes closely; and there are hopes that this could be a possible prelude to a further entry of WCC football as a whole.

---

In preparation for the upcoming season of the Kotzellachian Premier Division,
Die Kotzellacher Zeitung presents...

Axvall Sportlich

Roster

Pos	No	Name			Age	Sex	Nationality
MGR		Claudia Rademacher	47	F	Kotzellach

Starters
GK	13	Bertrand Nagel		25	M	Kotzellach
LB	2	Valentina Michaelis	34	F	Kotzellach
CB	4	Christopher Kranz	23	M	Kotzellach
CB	5	Megan Schumacher	27	F	Kotzellach
CB	16	Anastasia Schnabel	26	F	Kotzellach
RB	3	Vincent Ries		31	M	Kotzellach
CM	8	Joseph Wittmann		21	M	Kotzellach
CDM	14	Gerald Born		25	M	Kotzellach
CDM	12	Karl-Josef Wunderlich	32	M	Kotzellach
CM	6	Hannah Behnke		23	F	Kotzellach
ST	9	Katharina Heck		23	F	Kotzellach

Subs
GK	1	Roland Grabowski	34	M	Kotzellach
LB	15	Amalia Scholz		26	F	Kotzellach
CB	19	Susanna Gross		28	F	Kotzellach
CB	23	Sven Helbig		26	M	Kotzellach
RB	15	Max Schirmer		28	M	Kotzellach
CM	17	Lars Büttner		32	M	Kotzellach
CM	18	Mary Kellermann		21	F	Kotzellach
LW	7	Sonja Wexler		27	F	Kotzellach
RW	10	Helene Schüler		22	F	Kotzellach
ST	11	Roman Schulte		24	M	Kotzellach

Bold indicates players in the national team.

Quick Facts

Location: Axvall
Last Season: 2.Liga, 2nd
Stadium: Diane-Hamann-Stadion, 24,500 Capacity
Nickname: die Grünen
Manager: Claudia Rademacher, 47
Style of Play: An iron defence with a balanced midfield.
Prediction: Relegation candidates
Support them if...: You like seeing an underdog team, you like seeing teams from the smallest part of Kotzellach come up and try to deal with the big leagues.

LAST SEASON: SECOND in the 2.Liga was enough to see Axvall promoted back into the 1.Liga Kotzellach, even if some fans are beginning to become sick of the constant yo-yo ride the Greens have taken their supporters on recently. A yo-yo club, Axvall have long been punching above their weight — hailing from the smallest of the island chain comprising Kotzellach, the team have been occasional visitors to the 1.Liga.

HISTORY: As mentioned earlier, Axvall do hail from the smallest part of Kotzellach; expectations have been historically low. The Team-In-Green were longtime stragglers in the 2.Liga and 3.Liga before the emergence of a Golden Generation from the club's academy brought them up to the 1.Liga for only the second time in their history in 2016. Names like Valentina Michaelis, Vincent Ries and Karl-Josef Wunderlich led the team to sixth in their first season in the cutthroat 1.Liga, surviving for a few seasons before going back down at the end of 2018. Manager Claudia Rademacher managed to keep the squad together — and has led the team to intermittent appearances in the 1.Liga since.

EXPECTATIONS: With the core of the Golden Generation aging, it'll be tough for Rademacher to try and keep the squad up once more. She will try, with her reliance on defence, but the team look hugely outclassed in the increasingly fast-paced 1.Liga. It'll be tough to avoid relegation, and that's what most supporters want to avoid. At least 8th will be the supporters' expectation.

STYLE OF PLAY: Rademacher will most likely set her team up as a 5-4-1; one of a few managers to use a 5 defender formation in Kotzellach. An emphasis on defence and a low defensive line is expected.

KEY PLAYERS: Starting rightback Vincent Reis will be called on to provide defensive stability, and is one of the creative outlets on the team. Expect him to advance further up the pitch to provide support to sole striker Katharina Heck, an academy graduate who quickly has established herself as a fast, nimble attacker and who might possibly outgrow the team. It'll be a long, 36-game season for the team; but if the mix of youth and experience can gel, then this team can get scary, fast.

[Ochre Islands]

"Mmm... Tasty!"

"Sorry Vic?" Lance asked, looking up from his training notes and toward his fellow coach on the other side of the lounge in the apartment they were sharing. "This curried goat. Tasty." Vic dug his spoon into the bowl again and then blew quite firmly on the contents the spoon held in a vain attempt to cool it down a little. "Bloody hot though. Took it off the stove ten minutes ago. Retains heat well apparently."

---Two months earlier---

Victor Kelly, age 58, was the oldest member of the coaching contingent for the Ochre Islands squad. As the Bostopian sides had never taken part in continental competition, he'd not been able to - nor had any interest in - seeing much of the world. That was until the ship he'd taken, the poorly named “Dying Swan”, transporting passengers to their new life in the Ochres had stopped at a port in Cobrio. The passengers had been given some freedom to roam the port area, though were warned against going too far as there were rumours the political situation was a little “tricky” and none of the Ochre Government officials accompanying the passengers wanted to be embroiled in a diplomatic incident before they has set foot on the shores of their new home.

Vic wasn't so much a food man as a “this is the boiled meat and these are the two types of boiled vegetables I'll be having alongside them” sort of man, but the sights and smells of the portside stalls in Kogibe had managed to entice his sheltered nose to open up a bit more and really become the sensitive olfactory epithelium it was always meant to be. With his hands in his pockets, Vic walked toward one stall, slowing down as he passed it without really realising he was slowing down, before coming to a halt and turning around before he'd gone too far. He looked at the pot on the table, gently bubbling away on top of what looked to him like a portable stovetop.

From what he could tell, there was definitely meat in there and chunks of potato. One meat, one veg, “so far so good” Vic thought rather subconsciously. Gravy looked a bit funny though. Didn't look like it had come from one of those little cubes the wife got in from the supermarket. As he was about to lean in a bit closer looking for the second vegetable, the as-til-now unnoticed stallholder spoke up before the dish became “curried goat and old man's soggy chin hair."

“Would you like to try some?” She asked, in perfect multiversal language, though with a heavy local accent. “It's curry goat.” “Yeah, alright then!” Vic replied, surprising himself a little. The stallholder took a small spoonful of the dish (making sure to get more of the potatoes than usual, seeing as how unnaturally interested her client was in them) and served it into a small container, along with a side of rice and beans that he'd not really noticed yet. She passed it over to Victor, indicating with her head that cutlery was available to his right.

Not seeing anywhere to sit, Vic decided to try the food there and then, taking a larger spoonful of meat and gravy than anyone would recommend to someone who’d never had curry before. Not even thinking to let it cool slightly, he put the spoon in his mouth in one quick go.

It was suddenly as if someone had lit fireworks on his tongue. Incredibly tasty fireworks, but, “my God” Vic thought “the bloody heat of this!” His face was turning red whilst the symphony of flavours brought on by the dish was broadening his horizons almost as quickly as his own tongue was rising up the Scoville chart.

“I should have warned you it’d be hot, sorry” the stallholder said, concerned at the other potential customers being put off by the spluttering old man eating her food then gasping for a drink at her stall. “It’s just come straight out of the pot” she said a bit louder, to try and persuade the people walking by that everything was in fact alright. “Didn’t blow on it” Vic thought, something he had seen people regularly do on the tv shows he had been trying to ignore when his wife had the remote. Though, as she preferred to sit in a seat inexplicably far from the tele, she did have to turn the volume up quite loud and he couldn't hear himself think about the horse racing over it.

Managing to compose himself down a bit, he asked a question he had never asked before, feeling inspired by this strange new part of the world he was in. "How, urm, do you make this?” He asked, trying to draw on whatever knowledge he had picked up from the shows he’d tried to avoid watching. Whilst the stallholder was initially sceptical, the conversation that followed helped reassure her that there was no way that this man was ever going to try and undercut her, having had to explain the concept of “grating” to him, so she sold him the recipe for more foreign notes in his wallet than it was worth.

---Present day---

“So that’s why you walked back on the ship with a massive box of - what was it, ginger?” “That’s it. And some other stuff. Little green things. Car bonnet I think she called it.” Vic replied. “And a live goat mate?” “That’s the one. Called him Pete. Stood on the square outside the apartment eating the grass he is.”

[Savigliane]

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TLANXBALL REVOLUTION CONTINUES DESPITE FA FRACAS
MATTEO CAMPARI, sports

VILLENEUVE -- Qusma manager Tlanx-Nulzk Hal signed a five-year extension ahead of the upcoming CAFA Cup, cementing Tlanxball as Savigliane's tactical doctrine of the future. The extension will come as little surprise to fans who saw them qualify with a squad ranked 120th in the world before making a surprise Ro16 run in Cassadaigua. Just four years into their tenure as manager, Tlanx has completely transformed how the Rosso-e-Blus play, bringing their unique breed of high-octane, vertical attacking football and reinstilling confidence in a team greatly shaken by the Savigliano Portal Event. With key players such as Amara Vatrican, Thea Squarciafichi, and Adrian Toscani flourishing, and a promising new generation being molded to Tlanxball's specifications, the future looks bright for the national team and their manager. "I'm incredibly proud of Savigliane's progress and the mental fortitude both of my players and of the nation," Tlanx said in a press conference earlier this morning. "We've quickly become one of the fastest-rising teams in international football, and I'm confident in saying that there is silverware on our horizon."

The move is seen as a show of support after assistant manager Marco Giuliani's reported dust-up with the Qusmi. Giuliani, rumored to already be looking for his next job, has privately accused Tlanx of focusing on "establishing a stylistic revolution" or "narrative convenience" instead of results on the field. The conflict, reportedly stemming from Tlanx's decision to bring an unfit Bianca Fiore to the World Cup just weeks after her sudden reappearance in Anaia, has seen many FA suits take Giuliani's side against the charismatic foreigner - but even more support the manager who has

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[Pyazhnaya]

The sweltering heat that oppressively was laying over the Pyazhnayan islands had become almost unbearable. For days now the sun had been baking down without any clouds even at the horizon, even the winds coming in from the Salamantic Sea did not do much other than move the stagnant air around instead of some much welcome respite from the heat. As the bus of the Pyazhnayan national Football Team arrived at Krasnograd International Airport, even just the short walk from the vehicle to the terminal building was like walking into a wall of heat, as if sliced from the breath of one of the nine circles of hell before being replaced with a punch of almost freezing air as the players entered the very strongly air conditioned palace of glass and steel.

Coach Aleksandr Zavrashin shivered at the crass temperature difference, hoping that this would not be enough to give anybody a cold, not right before the first tournament Pyazhnaya would ever enter into. He could feel the excitement among the players, some of which had made the trek to play overseas before, like Larisa Nekrestyanova or Timur Krasnyoporov, but still, this was a completely different beast, going out as a team and representing the country. After the quite respectable first ever outing of Pyazhnayan sports in the Handball World Cup, the expectations for the football team were kind of mixed, ranging from clearly overshadowing the rival home team to expecting the worst and being utterly destroyed by other teams in the star-studded Anaian line-up of nations.

He himself tried to clear his mind from any of these preconceived notions and just prepare the players to do what they do best, not allowing any of the background noise to distract them from that. Or so he hoped.

[Xuois]

Introduction

Bonjour à tous et bonjour au nouveau monde ! Nous sommes arrivés sur ces îles récemment, mais nous sommes fiers d’être anaiques. Nous sommes des nouveaux venus, mais nous avons apprivoisé la terre sauvage et maintenant ici c’est notre patrie. Grâce à Dieu, nous avons triomphé sur les païens et avons apporté la civilisation ici. Nous avons découvert ces îles et y avons créé une société civilisée chrétienne, et nous la défendrons, peu importe le moyen. Pour le roi sur Terre, pour le Dieu au paradis, et pour notre Xuois : on mourrait pour notre civilisation !

Traduction

Hello everyone, and hello to the new world! We have arrived upon these isles recently, but we are proud to be Anaian. We are newcomers, but we have tamed the savage land, and now this is our homeland. Thanks to God, we have triumphed over the pagans and brought civilization here. We discovered these isles and built a civilized, Christian society here, and we will defend it, no matter what. For the king on Earth, for God in Heaven, and for our Xuois: we will die for our civilization!

[Ko-oren]

"Ok Katanmak, we're making a short video for KFA social media. We need a few quick thoughts about the CAFA and how we're doing better than last time. Just read the sign for the start and end bits, we need just a few seconds of filler in between. Go!"

"Hey everyone, Katanmak of the Dragonflies here, wanted to let you guys know we're working hard on our CAFA plan. It's going to be great, we'll be doing some goals and blank our opponents. I've got some ideas on where to play some guys that we haven't seen in the Yellowsash in a while. We've got Olink, Jundy, Odgers, Fiallo, so the next generation is taken care of, and this team is Hilberdink's and Vaugrenard's to direct. Some more width too, because we've seen that hamstring us against Audioslavia and Starblaydia earlier, and-"

"Yeah Katanmak I really need you to be a bit snappier. Kids these days, attention spans these days. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Ok, go."

"Hey everyone, Katanmak here, Dragonflies coach. We're working on some great ideas for CAFA. This is our chance to show the region what we're really capable of. Erisia will to score a lot, Jundy and Olink are on the squad now for the clean sheets-"

"Ohh, that's a good one, that's going to be great for the KFA official laundry detergent sponsor. Can you leave that line in but shorten the rest a bit?"

"Uhh, sure. Hey everyone, Katanmak here, we're going to score a few goals in the CAFA, we're going to keep some clean sheets with Jundy and Olink as well as Minne and Ethan, Anaia won't know what hit them-"

"Ok Katanmak, just a little shorter?"

"Even shorter? I don't know wh-"

"Yeah."

"Ko-oren win."

"Perfect."

[Mertagne]

"And what is your purpose for entering Mertagne, sir?"
"Business. I'm the manager of the national football team."
"Aren't you a little old to be managing a football team, sir?"
"Well, kind of, but that's beside the point."
"It says here that you've been living in Audioslavia for the last 30 years. We just need to know a bit more about you if that's okay. Keep it brief, please."
"Okay. I first saw international play back in the 32nd Di Bradini Cup. I was only 3rd pick goalkeeper then, and that was back when I was playing for Utica United over in Osarius. We managed to come third in that tournament, thanks to my hard work, of course!. That was enough to keep me on at Utica, and we eventually got absorbed by the LigAnaia - something which has happened to us all now, eh? After a solid run at a club that looked after me well, I thought it'd move on over to a place where everyone seemed to be moving to at the time - the fine hills of Hasiera, Audioslavia. Tenth Star is Mertagne's favourite club, and so I decided to save them - sorry, save for them.
A few seasons with Tenth Star, and that was it, my career was played out. The FMF never called me up after that, or anyone really, and I absolutely fell in love with the place. Did you know they've got a New Fligsive there, as well? There's three of the sods now! I made my home there, my family there, but now that Mertagne's a bit more hospitable, I think I'll be retiring here. Not before leading the national team back to glory, of course."
"Well, best of luck with that, Mr. Dornell. Will you be travelling within the next six months?"
"To Legalese, yes."
"Ah, quite the international traveller. I hope we'll be seeing more of you."
"I hope you don't! At least not until we've reached the knockouts."

"... Right. Well, you and your family are cleared for entry. Enjoy your stay."

[Chromatika]

To: ONE-EYED GENERAL
From: AMBIENCE
Subject: PRESS CONFERENCE DEBRIEF

ONE-EYED GENERAL,

The ramifications of your remarks made by statements at Cathair are being felt across the team. LEGEND has already stated that you were within your rights to do so, and that freedom of speech among the national team is a tradition that has been going on since the inception of the Anomalies. Without the help of the footballers guiding the way, Chromatika would not be where it is today.

That being said, the fact that the CFF has chosen to stay silent about the DECLARATION means that we have to figure things out internally. There are those on the team, both CAFA and the POOL, who would like to discuss your opinion, theirs, and come to a working medium. Not a consensus, per say, as such a thing may not be possible given a matter as sensitive as this one, but at least a place of understanding where we can all respect each other's points of view and still play on the same squad without any ill will between us.

Would you be amicable? Of those present will be WONDER, FIGUREHEAD, SPARK, ROOK, and SERGEANT, along with many others. The meeting will be held in private behind closed doors, with the understanding that what is said there stays there.

Please let us know if you will attend. We will be meeting in a weeks' time at SAFE HAVEN, at the HOUR OF THE MILLSTONE.

Be well,

AMBIENCE

AMBIENCE: Keira Anbient
ONE-EYED GENERAL: Engima Armageddon
LEGEND: Keira Andisori
DECLARATION: Declaration of Foxchester
POOL: National Team Pool
WONDER: Vasiliy Marten Kuznetsov
FIGUREHEAD: Juxon Fillar
SPARK: Haley Hauser
ROOK: Kai Xiao
SERGEANT: Kateryna Zuniga
SAFE HAVEN: CFF Headquarters, Players' Room
HOUR OF THE MILLSTONE: 8 PM

[Yesopalitha]

The Blood Red Moon, Part 1

A long time ago - before the age of Zaiden, before the changes made in Yesopalithan society to make sure that the Unbidden would not fall victim to their primal urges any longer - The Unbidden were a plague upon the lands of Yesopalitha. Not just to the general populace, but to each other. Vampire fought Werewolf while being harried by Ghosts, who were not fond of Wraiths. Every time something died, either a Shade, Skeleton, or Zombie rose to take its place.

A cabal of powerful necromancers, the Black Hand, were lamenting on the loss of Unbidden life. With the knowledge that so many eyes of the heavens were on the situation, they knew that they couldn't do much overtly. However, they did have a few tricks up their sleeve, and with their agents imbedded on all the different peoples of the Unbidden, they were just waiting for the right time to act.

Approaching in three months' time was the first blood red moon in centuries; the blood red moon held particular significance in multiple Unbidden societies, as it is considered to be sacred to Werewolves, it powers Shades, Ghosts, and Wraiths to a different level, and it helps Vampires practice their spellcraft to a different level. To the Black Hand everyone being so overpowered meant that they would have an easier time reaching them.

With the death count reaching thousands, the Black Hand knew that this blood red moon would be the only chance they had to gain some kind of order between the different species. Without a united front, they had no chance against the forces of "good". They would forever be remembered as villains, not given a chance to show their potential. This would be the time to change that forever.

[Starblaydia]

Just a short trip south on a Dwarven technological marvel of a train: swift, silent and efficient. The verdant countryside sped past the windows as the team journeyed to Legalese. Seven times would remain seven; no more glory was to be gained in Atlantian Oceania. Region, federation, competition, format – all were fresh and new, except Starblaydia themselves. So often they appear, ubiquitous in lavish purple and gleaming white; so familiar as to be practically invisible. A squad refreshed, but management unchanged, with the same promises, portents and threats. A new slate drawn up for fresh glories and falls, making history anew as the star orbits for the first time.

Gold on the shirt, time and again. Five is the most, but another comes when? “One to fear”, they say. “Always difficult” if old, “a major test” if new. Full of sneer, some bray - daring to be bold before smiles knocked askew.

In 2268, the 23 and their staff travel to compete in their 1,935th match, and more. For Fëanáro, her 328th game as custodian of one of the behemoths of the game. With time the names become less important, as the numbers grow inexorably: every game is tough, every opponent is good, shit happens, GG. But, for a team draped in purple trimmed with gold, for whom your ancestors cheered at the peak of their powers, glory has not been all that forthcoming. Finals, certainly, but of trophies, only two: the last in Atlantian Oceania beyond a decade ago.

Two thousand games approaches, and three centuries lies nearly upon them. How better to mark those feats and prepare for those records than with the lifting of a bold new trophy in mint green and deep purple? How fitting for it to be so close, just south of the border.

[Cocoabo Forest]

Journey to Lands Unknown
and what to do when you get there?

Another Cycle Come and Gone
Another Champion Crowned
The Cocoabo watched from their home
Their rivals were renowned

Of course they got to play one game
With their long time neighbor
Afraid to go the main squad was
Rested from the labor

The neighbor moved so far away
Accessed by a portal
Citizens feared to go inside
They were merely mortal

The Cocoabo and Krytenia
Walked out on to the Field
On this day it was not the points
Still a win needed yield

For Turori had entered in
A massive winning streak
Yet now their record performance
Not in 'hands' - but a 'beak'

Two halves were done in the Forest
Cocoabo scored two goals
Krytenia had done the same
Crushing Turori's Souls

When the winning streak had ended
The Cocoabo went home
Citizen Squad was back on tour
Into the land of Chrome

Sent away to Cassadaigua
As ads for Cocoa-bo
The Forest based squad trained so hard
But now they could not go

That was until they met new friends
Soft forms of ancient ones
They had shared some tea and crumpets
Loving their new friends tons

The ancients traveled cosmically
Asked their new friends to join
So they stuck with their cuddly pals
Looking so clean and soigne

Once they arrived in lands unknown
They knew not what to do
So they just had fun, like at home
They could play football too

[Perlasilangan]

"Are we still a Barangayan Overseas Territory?"

"No. Why would you ask it?"

"History say that we have been a Barangayan Overseas Territory for so long."

"Eh, The Royal Barangay was no longer existing. Rumors say it was nuked by Lord Almighty Gregory but it might have been self-imploded due to their secret nuclear program gone wrong."

"So you mean we are an independent nation again?"

"Yeah."

"But why we are still having Barangayan colors then?"

"Oh well, it has been our national colors since we have been competing internationally. See the kits still worn by our national team players, it is practically the same kit worn by the lads at our debut."

"Yeah, but I hear ramblings that they will procure a new once come the next edition of this Cup."

"Oh wait, are we still in 'The Place'?"

"No, we have seceded from Atlantian Oceania, and are now in Anaia."

"Oh okay. So we are competing in CAFA Cup and not in AOCAF Cup."

"Yeah. Let's see where the national team can go."

[Krytenia]

We are Krytenia.

We are the instigators, the innovators. We created regional football as the multiverse knows it. We are the fathers of the AOCAF, recently moved out of its paternal home in Ousevale.

We are Krytenia.

We are the Kennedy dynasty, Alun Belmwr, and Ronnie van Rijn. We are the conveyor belt of goalkeepers, the Munitis System, and a rhapsody of sky blue flowing around the pitch.

We are Krytenia.

The times, though, they are a-changing. We leave behind our baby – she's all grown up now – and move on to pastures new. The orange star has been removed from the crest, ready for a replacement in purple and neon green.

We are Krytenia.

There are many chances to become a champion, but only one opportunity to be the first. The CAFA Cup is upon us, and we have the hunger to become the inaugural champions of Anaia. History lays at our door, and though Audioslavia, Starblaydia, Chromatika, Ko-oren, Vdara and all of the other reindeer also wish to take the trophy in Legalese, the playing field is as level as it'll ever be.

We are Krytenia.

And WE. ARE. HERE.

[Cobrio]

To date, Marvelous Koleoso’s most notable achievement is taking Muhanmaga Magic, of the Ounaian Premier League, from bottom of the table to third in half a season. While impressive, the achievement sounds much less praise-worthy when it is noted that the OPL only had six teams at the time. He knew, on some level, that his appointment by the Cobre Football Federation was because of two things: firstly, he wouldn’t cost them a lot, and secondly, he had an influential ally in Samori Koné. These things weighed heavily on his mind, somewhat souring what should be a fantastic experience, managing his country’s national team.

“Marvelous!” A voice called. Turning, he suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. ’Speaking of the Devil…’ he recognised Samori.

“Ah, Samo! How are you today, na?”

“Much like your namesake, ah.”

“Oh?” Marv raised an eyebrow. “Clouds dey go bring fortune for you?”

“Ch!” Samori waved a hand dismissively. “You know we don’t believe wanori, na.”

Marv smiled and replied softly, “reality no go ask you believe, oh.”

“Hm.” Samori grunted in what Marv assumed was assent. “You kill my tunda. I come to tell you news, oh.”

“What news?”

“CFF dey go mek I vice-chairman.” Samori grinned with a smugness that almost made you want to punch him. Almost. Marv paused, considering what this meant for him, though. Much as Marv liked Samori, he also found him irritating at times, and they did not see eye-to-eye on many things when it came to “the job”.

“Manu’nu, my brother!” Marv exclaimed, extending an arm.

“Unukego mame,” Samori replied, gripping Marv’s forearm.

Marv met his eyes and nodded silently. ‘Together we strengthen’, Samori had said. The only thing troubling Marv was the lack of clarity on what exactly they would strengthen.

[Osarius]

Odell McIntosh shuffled through papers, flicked through folders, and scribbled notes. Occasionally a diagram of circles, squares, triangles and a variety of lines, both solid and dashed. Sometimes an arrow, or two.

The process of drawing up a tactical gameplan was arduous. It always had been. Even at Hastmead, where he’d had access to some of the most advanced data (and analytics) he’d ever seen. He recalled a maxim his mentor, Maurice, had recited so often, they joked it would go on his headstone: “football is a game of fine margins”. He chuckled. Maurice came from a football family. If you traced his family tree back a few generations, you’d see some extremely recognisable names on it. Most notably, he had roots in all three of Osarian football’s great families: Corradini, Di Corradi, and Watson.

Maurice’s big thing was that a coach is not doing a good job if they must rely on qualitative superiority. “You see, you won’t always have a situation where your players have an advantage in terms of quality,” he had said. “So you must manufacture one somehow.”

Odell thought back to the hours and hours spent learning tactics from Maurice at the National Academy, one of the remnants of Osarian football’s golden age. Lecture upon lecture dealing with everything from how to exploit space to how to manage professional footballers’ diets. The latter even going so far as to break the category “professional footballers” into no fewer than eighteen groups based on somatotype, age, and what might once have been called “gender”.

He shook his head and chuckled. So much theory for what was, in truth, a remarkably simple game. And yet, so complicated. Another of Maurice’s maxims, in fact, borrowed from his mentor: “Football is simple. But to play it simply, is very complicated.”

[Flavovespia]

“THUD!” The ball whacked the crossbar with almighty force, and flew into the crowd of yellow and black behind the goal. An audible cry of frustration could be heard, Anthony Hannigan had just missed with 5 minutes to go. And so the chances of a comeback were over. Flavovespia fell to a 2 goal defeat to Græntfjall, out of the Round of 32 in the Cup of Harmony. The players trudged off, disappointed to be going home. Fans left the stadium saddened, as they got ready to return to Flavovespia. Back home, the melancholy feeling of fans taking down their flags and bunting, and putting away their Flavovespia shirts could be felt, quite like the feeling of taking down Christmas decorations.

Questions marks were raised over some of the players and manager Marcus McCormick. However Græntfjall won the Cup of Harmony, in a way silencing some of the critics. Now, the regional tournaments begin. For Flavovespia, and many others, a change of scenery. Gone is the AOCAF, and the blue and white of Atlantian Oceania, replaced instead with the CAFA Cup, and the purple, white and green colours. Flavovespia are no exception to getting on the party train of the new regional identity, with their striking purple, white and green third kit. A more traditional yellow and black combination makes up the home and away kits, even if the design is less than traditional. 30 teams will begin a new era of international football in Legalese, with the first CAFA Cup starting soon. Flavovespians will be eagerly anticipating the draw to see who their 5 opponents are in the group stage. With a new start for all the nations involve, there may well be some shocks and surprises, can Flavovespia be on the right side of those?

[Mont Vert]

It was a dark and stormy night. In the drawing room of La Hotel Exotique, sat on the tall cliffs overlooking La Crique Des Contrebandiers on Grande Mont Vert, the largest of the Mont Vert islands, a motley crew was assembled. Jean-Loup Couturier chewed on his pipe while Mme. Dorothée Jacquier stood at the window, watching the wind churn the black sea and toss it, dissolving into angry white spray, against the cliffs, its impotent rage seeming to shake the very rafters of the hotel. In the centre, the great detective Inspector Hercules Marples, known the world over for his acuity, insight, and immaculately groomed pubic hair, was preparing for the grand denouement.

“This past week has seen a wicked trail of death and despair,” said Marples. “First, the murder in the ballroom! Then – the suicide of Captain Verninac. Or, was it a suicide, or in fact, a second murder? Followed by the cyanide in the punch bowl, which killed Dr. de Saint-Pierre. But did the killer strike his – or her – intended target, or was the Doctor merely an unfortunate case of collateral damage.”

Barry Twiggins snorted. “Wot a loada farking guff.”

“Guff?” Marples whirled to face his accuser. “So you say, ‘Barry Twiggins’… or should I say – Vicomte Diogenes Tamberlaine!”

There were shocked gasps. Anaïs Charbonneau, the exotic dancer, fainted.

“So that’s how it is, you bounder!?” The Vicomte stood tall with suddenly regal bearing.

“Madame LaFromboise, your husband is not joining us?” continued Marples.

“Charles is feeling unwell.”

“I should say, given Charles LaFramboise died ten years ago! And the man upstairs is in fact your daughter, Noémie!”

Less shocked gasps. Her moustache had kept falling off.

“And yet neither of you are the murderer. No, this is a truly fiendish crime.” Marples whirled around.

“The murderer is

RP cut off at 300 words

[Avorago]

Parts of this were written collaboratively with the Ochre Islands

Avoragan Pigball has been played between the eight sub-tribes across the island since who knows when. Hundreds of years is a likely estimate, although it could well be into the thousands. The game itself almost certainly descends from football, as the two sports are essentially the same thing, just with a variety of slightly different rules and equipment. Pigball has been played with a round ball of pig hide for who knows how long now, and the weird bounce it can sometimes have is now just a part of the game. Some of the variant rules include that kick-ins exist instead of throw-ins, goalkeepers are not allowed to leave the box marked out for them by natural paint, corner kicks must either land inside the box or touch another player before bouncing and penalties are taken from only eight metres away to account for a slightly smaller goal, alongside sixty-minute games which include a lack of halves and still produce high scores. These rules were imposed nigh on fifty years ago now, following some significant arguments between the sub-tribes about them. As a result, the Federation of Avorago Pigball (FAP) was created and imposed a set of rules on Pigball, as well as creating the Avorago Pigball League (APL) while they were at it. And the eight clubs, or sub-tribes, that participate in it have been battling it out each year ever since.

But one day, everything changed. In the middle of an intense match between the Black Snakes and the Eagles, two of the top teams in the APL where the former was winning 3-2 thanks to two brilliant goals within minutes of each other from Eberegbulam Onwuamaeze to put the Snakes in front with fifteen minutes to go, the game was suddenly halted when a child playing in the sand of the island’s only beach came running up, through the middle of the game and directly to FAP chairman Chinweike Zinachidi holding a bottle. Zinachidi appeared frustrated by this sudden disturbance, but inside the bottle was a letter written in perfect Avoragan. Zinachidi stood and signalled the players and referee to halt the game that had started back up again and read out the following message:

Dear, Avoragans.

As we appear to be one of the only Anaian nations to have knowledge of your existence, we would like to invite you to the inaugural Confederation of Anaian Football Associations (CAFA for short). It will be fought out between old and new nations across Anaia and shall be hosted in Legalese. However, we understand that that will be a long, long journey for you Avoragans and on the way, us in the Ochre Islands would love to provide our service to you and offer a friendly following the rules of football. Directions are on the back of the page alongside typical football rules, and please let us know of your decision once you make it.

Layla Nash,
Chair, Ochre Islands Football Association (OIFA)

So, after a couple of weeks of deliberations, a squad of 23 Avoragans and a coach set sail in their rowboats for the Ochre Islands, the entire group brimming with excitement. They rowed for many a day, but eventually landed to welcome arms in the city of Surring on the northern side of the island of Handsby.

After a couple of days in the city, the Avoragans departed for New Ranton City, the capital of the Ochre Islands and located on the island of Mournhow. The side was completely astonished - the boat didn’t even have anyone rowing it and yet, they still got to their destination in a matter of hours at a much faster rate than they had rowed to Surring. But when asked about this utter phenomenon, the ship captain simply looked at them in bewilderment and said one word.

“Hydrogen”.

And no one knew what that meant.

When they arrived in New Ranton City, the Avoragans were given an entire floor of the nearest hotel to the ground, the Emperor Boston Stadium. With a capacity of 35,300, the visitors had not seen anything as big in their lives. It was absolutely, utterly, huge. And then there was the hotel, with all of the Ochre Islands’ massive rooms and suites with all of the up-to-date technology. So for the next four hours or so, instead of getting outside with coach Mgbankwo Chieloka, they were stuck indoors working out how a heater works.

But eventually, they were ushered outside. Over the course of the next few days, the Avoragans were seen training and practicing football. Not pigball, football, and its variant rules. The players underwent lots of endurance and stamina training so they could last the full 90 minutes instead of only 60, in simple preparation for their first match.

The match itself was between two international sides who had never, ever played a game before. Two sides who had only just formed teams for the inaugural CAFA and were eager to get some experience in. So when the two teams took the field, no one playing nor watching knew exactly what was about to happen.

Throughout the first twenty minutes, the Ochre Islands warded off Avorago’s continuous attacking manoeuvres as they seeked to get in close to goalkeeper Zachary Henderson. But all of this left the Avoragan defence incredibly weak, something which the Islanders were quick to exploit. In the 24th minute of the match and with the Avoragan forwards beginning to become frustrated with their lack of opportunities, Mark Wilkinson and Connor Smyth managed to successfully break past Bisirat Idris caught too far forward in the centre defence and began to hone in on goals with Petros Daniel and Selam Medhane closing in on both sides. But it was too late, as Wilkinson shot past Coobine Muljohn, who had come out of his box and netted the ball to put the Ochre Islands 1-0 up.

And so it stayed until half time, with the Avoragan forwards becoming more and more frustrated as they, for once, actually encountered a strong defensive line. But after half-time and Chifo Chiazagomekpele substituted off due to a lack of speed and stamina, they began to slowly take the front foot. In the 56th, 59th and 60th minutes, the Primates had some brilliant chances, but none could be converted into a goalscoring move. But in the 63rd minute, a corner from Nnenna Ogbonnaya was curled perfectly onto Elechi Ibeamaka’s head, running into space to take the delivery. Now, in Pigball, you cannot score off your head, but football is different. With Henderson caught a tad off his line, Ibeamaka directed it over his head and over the line, despite defender Lawrence Gordon’s best efforts. Ibeamaka had scored Avorago’s first-ever international goal as they equalised.

But they weren’t done yet. In the 77th minute, a wonderful cross from Ibeamaka was delivered perfectly to the feet of attacking midfielder Chinelo Chimaijem, who feinted a shot at goal before passing to star forward Eberegbulam Onwuamaeze. Dribbling past Gordon and Leonard Burke, Onwuamaeze spotted an opening past Henderson’s right glove. He shot for it and for a moment, the ball appeared to be missing the post. But no, footballs do strange things. Instead of keeping a direct line, the ball curled back in, scraped the inside of the post and hit the back of the net. Avorago, somehow, were in the lead.

The Ochre Islanders may have been down, but not quite out yet. Their final opportunity came with only two minutes of stoppage time to spare, when Martin Thomas curled a cross into the box, where Bradley Watkins lay in wait. He tried to use the Primates’ defensive disarray to his advantage to take an immediate shot for goal, but Chinwuebo Chinama came in from one side and performed a poor tackle, tripping the Islander. She was immediately booked as the referee pointed to the penalty spot. Wilkinson took it and as he did, converted the shot after Muljohn went the other way. So it was. A 2-2 draw.

So both sides departed on the same ship for Legalese, where the inaugural CAFA was to be played. They were nowhere near prepared, but all players and coaches were satisfied with what was accomplished at the Emperor Boston Stadium. It was all they would get, too, as they lay in wait for the draw, which would be announced as the two teams landed. But for now, they would just sit and stare towards the horizon, eagerly awaiting the times ahead.

Onward!

THE OCHRE ISLANDS - 2
Wilkinson 24’, 90+2’

AVORAGO - 2
Ibeamaka 63’
Onwuamaeze 77’

[Vdara]

I was born in 2004. I know hardly anything about the 90s. I do not apologise.

You’re watching: Overly 90’s Television, innit. Up next, it’s Wizzy-G, innit innit.

“Sup, my homeslices! It’s ya boy, Wizzy-G, back to spread my Wiz-dom and advice, eyoooooo! Now, tonight we’s gonna look at some mad Anaian flags and chat bare shit about them, yeh? Now, we’s put all the nations in CAFA in an alphabetical list, innit, so don’t be coming after me if you’s don’t like being 15th in the shit list, ya dig? Take a chill pill, sip some Branded Crystal Fizzy Drink, and come vibe with me as I look at these flags, word.”

Audioslavia - “Only ONE bull? That’s bull-crap, innit! Add some more bulls, then we can vibe.”
Austailia- “Those stars are bare bright, you gotta dim them, word.”
Aut-Ves-Nat - “It’s basic. Bare basic. I don’t vibe with basic.”
Avorago - “They nicked the blue from Krytenia, the black bar from Saltstead, and the fire from the dumpster fire that was our last campaign in the CE, innit.
Chromatika - “Swear down, I saw this at the opticians last week, innit.”
Cobrio - “I can vibe with this, honestly.”
Cocoabo Forest - “I asked for flags, not kids duvet covers.”
Flavovespia - “Reminds me of bees. Can’t stand bees.”
Grande Cucina - “Too wavy, needs more angles, innit.”
Huayramarca - “Not bad, word.”
Independent Athletes from Quebec - “Needs more neon lights. In fact, this would make a great ‘OPEN’ sign, ya dig?”
Iskandervale - “I didn’t know it was possible to make a flag look cold, but here we are.”
Ko-oren - “They’re too defensive for me to chat shit, word.”
Kotzellach - “Plagiarism.”
Krytenia - “The stars perfectly match their odds for winning anything: 5/1. Of course, this rarely happens.”
Legalese - “:Boyd:”

“Unfortunately, my timeslot is already over, so see y’all-“



Word Count: 300 (+ 1 image)

[Saltstead]

We are and shall be

The trials of history have never made our faith waver. Those of small minds and of little faith have tried to punish us for our beliefs, but time and time again they failed. Those who seek to push their imperialist designs, to punish us for our choosing our own destiny, ought to ask the heretical churches what we thought of their crusades against us: we will not kneel to you.

Saltstead

We are a nation of many names: Såutsteid, Haleia, Salia, Seltstäd. We are a nation exiled from our ancestral homeland, a people who belong nowhere. We are a nation with a troubled past, suffering from long and devastating civil wars and under the thumb of ruinous and shameful dictatorships. Yet through it all, we are a nation that has persevered, determined not to make the same mistakes as those who forced us into banishment.

Nothing more

The purple and neon colours sported by other Anaian nations are nowhere to be seen in the Saltsteadish stands. The Stallions have always and will always represent Saltstead and no one else. Saltstead may be Anaian now, but Saltstead is not Anaia, just like how Saltstead was never Atlantian Oceania in the days before Foxchester. The arrogant Hinodejin had to learn that lesson the hard way, so don’t make the mistake as them.

Nothing less

But when the world famous red and black hoops come out, all else is put to the side. Saxlanders and Wallanders, Austerholmers, Bructers, Chamavers, Halsingers, Hertogdomites, Merhoveners, Tungers and all other Saltsteaders find a home under the Dörvarwe. Clubs do not matter when Saltstead play, not Cherrygrove City, not Ōtachi Audfort nor Saint George University or Sħip in Straxe FC. Win or lose, for ninety glorious minutes, the Saltsteadish Confederation is truly united.

[Legalese]

And, that's the Pre-Draw RP Cutoff! Stay tuned for groups and the schedule!

[Ochre Islands]

---Emperor Boston Stadium, New Ranton, capital of the Ochre Islands---

“Ladies and gentlemen” the tannoy announcer's voice cut across and above the mingling voices of the crowd. “Welcome to Emperor Boston Stadium” -boos- “at Breakerview Athletics Arena.” -cheers- “This is the first international game to be played by the Ochre Islands, so please stand for the national anthem of the Ochre Islands!”

The only major symbolism of the national anthem here for people was standing up respectfully, no flag facing or hands over hearts. Just a simple act of standing up and singing the “Ode to the Ochres” As the crowd opened their mouths to sing the first line “Our Ochre home, our islands which sustain us”, instead they were met by the overbearing trumpeting signalling the start of the “Song for the Bostopian Patriot”.

This did not go down well. The boos for the anthem were greater than those for when the “moron-in-chief” was mentioned by name, and lasted for the length of the anthem itself. Television crews will have captured the awkward looks on the faces of the players, caught between not wanting to be seen supporting the anthem and not wanting to be seen outwardly disgusted by the anthem of the country they and the majority of the crowd had fled. By the time the anthem had finished, the majority of the crowd had returned to their seats, with a vocal few attempting to sing the Ochre anthem over the top. The tannoy announcer started again futilely trying to make himself heard over the racket of the crowd. “Thank you, please could the crowds in rows 1-11 and on the lower concourse please be reminded to remain clothed as part of your condition of entry, this match is being televised internationally”

The match itself was notable for two events – Mark Wilkinson opening the scoring with his first goal for his country, and Mark Wilkinson equalising very late on with his second goal for his country. He was said afterwards to be “very proud” and glad the result would have been “Positive for Pete”. Skirting around the subject of the anthem, Mark was glad for the “opportunities” Bostopia had provided him but would now be giving his all for the Ochres.

---BOIS (Bostopian Ochre Island Ship) Chiquito---

A couple of days after the game, the Ochre Islander players and backroom staff, along with a good contingent of travelling fans boarded the Chiquito in the harbour of New Ranton to set off for the Legalese port of Foxchester, the nearest one to the Ochres, though it still meant a long journey. The Chiquito itself was more of a small cruise ship than a traditional ferry, holding enough rooms for two football teams, plus restaurants and kitchens large enough to feed them all at mealtimes. There was also fitness suites and a swimming pool on the deck.

Vic Kelly was sat with his fellow coach and flatmate Lance Paul at a table in the buffet restaurant, when he was surrounded by fans asking about the goat he had been seen carrying into his apartment just before leaving.

“Ah, yeah, poor ol'Pete” Vic said mournfully. “He's took a turn.” A gasp went up from the crowd. “He ate all the grass outside our apartment he did, so he moved onto the grass of the apartment next door. Turns out though they'd put feetyouliser” “You mean fertiliser, Vic” Lance interjected. “Yeah, thassit, fertyouliser on it and it's made him sick the poor fella, proper dodgy tummy he has.”

“So why's he in our apartment and not the abattoir then, Vic?” Lance asked, making a fair point. “Can't eat him when he's poorly can I?” Vic replied forcefully. “I took him in the apartment, tucked him up in the spare bed and told him I'd see him in a bit.” Lance sighed. Then realised. “What spare bed?” Vic rolled his eyes. “Mine had all me suitcases and that on it still didn't it, so yours was going spare. That's where Pete is right now, unless he's feeling better and is up and about again bless 'im.” “You've left a goat with the runs in my bed?” “Nah, it was a spare bed mate, you weren't using it.”

Lance did what any sane man in this situation would do. He got up from the table, excused himself, walked over to the buffet, and planted his face quite firmly into the baked beans whilst screaming blue murder into them.