[1234 ISSUE] A Carry-on Carry On

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

Title

A Carry-on Carry On

Description

While returning from a summit in Brancaland, some of your luggage went missing. Fortunately, your tablet with confidential documents was recovered, although your personal traveling underwear remains lost. An investigation into the sensitive briefs revealed the tablet was secured by a PIN set to '1234,' raising concerns about @@NATION@@'s information security policy.

The Debate

[option] "1234? That's the kind of thing that an idiot would put on his luggage!" exclaims your exasperated Minister of Security, @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Schwartz. "Look, today it was just your shorts. Tomorrow it could be secret negotiations, or your personal travel plans, or..." @@HE@@ shudders uncomfortably. "We should immediately institute a new password policy, with minimum length, special character, and no-reuse requirements."
[effect] @@DENONYM@@ are constantly pestered to change their p@55w0rd5

[option] "Passwords aren't enough," insists Dàguóren app developer @@RANDOMNAME@@, while changing @@HIS@@ luggage combination. "You should also implement a multi-factor authentication system, to verify the identity of the person trying to log-in. In fact, my new app -- Multi-factor OnLine Endorser -- will track and challenge all log-in attempts with a verification code. All you need to do is register all government employees' user names and mobile phone numbers. And it's all ad-supported, so it won't cost you a single @@CURRENCY@@."
[effect] government employees must watch a five minute ad before they get hacked

[option] "1...2...3...4...," exerts biometrics researcher and high-intensity fitness enthusiast @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while completing a set of one-thumbed push-ups. "No, see, passwords can always be guessed, and mobile phones can always be hacked! But your fingerprints? Those are yours forever! Just install biometric finger scanners on all sensitive government devices. It'll cost a mint but it's guaranteed the strongest option!"
[effect] demand for mustache wax and after-market thumbs is skyrocketing

[option] "'National security' is the age-old cry of the oppressor!" cries activist and balding sci-fi cosplayer @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Luc @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@. "Speaking truth to power requires unrestrained access to government documents, no matter how sensitive! Abolish all security measures, and allow @@DENONYM@@ to observe the workings of their government unrestrained. If it's not doing anything wrong, there's no reason to hide in the dark."
[effect] newspapers report secret military toilet paper requisitions

Title

A Carry-on Carry On

Description

While returning from a summit in Brancaland, a confidential tablet seemed to go missing en route, but the device was found and only your personal underwear was lost. Still, an investigation into the sensitive briefs revealed the tablet was secured only by a PIN set to '1234,' raising concerns about @@NATION@@'s information security policy.

The Debate

[option] "1234? That's the kind of thing that an idiot would put on his luggage!" exclaims your exasperated Minister of Security, @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Schwartz. "Look, today it was just your shorts. Tomorrow it could be secret negotiations, or your personal travel plans, or..." @@HE@@ shudders uncomfortably. "We should immediately institute a new password policy, with minimum length, special character, and no-reuse requirements."
[effect] @@DENONYM@@ are constantly pestered to change their p@55w0rd5

[option] "Passwords aren't enough," insists Dàguóren app developer @@RANDOMNAME@@, while changing @@HIS@@ luggage combination. "You should also implement a multi-factor authentication system, to verify the identity of the person trying to log-in. In fact, my new app -- Multi-factor OnLine Endorser -- will track and challenge all log-in attempts with a verification code. All you need to do is register all government employees' user names and mobile phone numbers. And it's all ad-supported, so it won't cost you a single @@CURRENCY@@."
[effect] government employees must watch a five minute ad before they get hacked

[option] "1...2...3...4...," exerts biometrics researcher and high-intensity fitness enthusiast @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while completing a set of one-thumbed push-ups. "No, see, passwords can always be guessed, and mobile phones can always be hacked! But your fingerprints? Those are yours forever! Just install biometric finger scanners on all sensitive government devices. It'll cost a mint but it's guaranteed the strongest option!"
[effect] demand for mustache wax and after-market thumbs is skyrocketing

[option] "'National security' is the age-old cry of the oppressor!" cries journalist and balding sci-fi cosplayer @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Luc @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@. "Speaking truth to power requires unrestrained access to government documents, no matter how sensitive! Abolish all security measures, and allow @@DENONYM@@ to observe the workings of their government unrestrained. If it's not doing anything wrong, there's no reason to hide in the dark."
[effect] newspapers report secret military toilet paper requisitions

Draft four. Verdant Haven was kind enough to let me have the one-thumb push-ups suggestion back, so I've incorporated it into option 3. For that speaker, I'm shooting for a sort of techbro CrossFit enthusiast, and so am trying to hit some of the hipster stereotypes (something like Overly Manly Man), while maintaining the "1234" theme. Also, similarly working on moving option 4's speaker away from the random Star Trek reference, to something more "1234"-y. Stay tuned...

Title

A Carry-on Carry On

Description

While returning from a summit in Brancaland, a confidential tablet seemed to go missing en route, but the device was found and only your personal underwear was lost. Still, an investigation into the sensitive briefs revealed the tablet was secured only by a PIN set to '1234,' raising concerns about @@NATION@@'s information security policy..

The Debate

[option] "1234? That's the kind of thing that an idiot would put on his luggage!" exclaims your exasperated Minister of Security, @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Schwartz. "Look, today it was just some your shorts. Tomorrow it could be secret negotiations, or your personal travel plans, or..." @@HE@@ shudders uncomfortably. "We should immediately institute a new password policy, with minimum length, special character, and no reuse requirements."
[effect] @@DENONYM@@ are constantly pestered to change their p@55w0rd5

[option] "Passwords aren't enough," insists Dàguóren app developer @@RANDOMNAME@@, while changing @@HIS@@ luggage combination. "You should also implement a multi-factor authentication system, to verify the identity of the person trying to log-in. In fact, my new app -- Multi-factor OnLine Endorser -- will track and challenge all log-in attempts with a verification code. All you need to do is register all government employees' user names and mobile phone numbers. And it's all ad-supported, so it won't cost you a single @@CURRENCY@@."
[effect] government employees must watch a five minute ad before they get hacked

[option] "Great scott! Security isn't just what you know, or what you have, but also what you are," gesticulates white-haired biometrics researcher @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ McFly. "No, no, passwords can always be guessed, and mobile phones can always be hacked! But your fingerprints? Those are yours forever! Install biometric finger scanners on all sensitive government devices. It'll cost a mint, and there's a slight risk of banditry, but it's guaranteed the most secure option!"
[effect] demand for cellophane tape and after-market thumbs is skyrocketing

[option] "'National security' is the age-old cry of the oppressor!" cries journalist and balding sci-fi cosplayer @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Luc @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@. "Speaking truth to power requires unrestrained access to government documents, no matter how sensitive! Abolish all security measures, and allow @@DENONYM@@ to observe the workings of their government unrestrained. If it's not doing anything wrong, there's no reason to hide in the dark."
[effect] newspapers report secret military toilet paper requisitions

Draft three, incorporating some of Verdant Haven's suggestions.

Title

A Carry-on Carry On

Description

As you and your aide-de-camp returned from a summit in Brancaland, @@CAPITAL@@ fell into panic after an attache case containing a confidential laptop was lost en route. Fortunately, the aide had gotten @@HIS@@ luggage mixed up, only losing @@HIS@@ personal traveling underwear. Still, an investigation into the sensitive briefs revealed they were secured only by a combination lock set to '1234,' raising concerns about @@NATION@@'s information security policy.

The Debate

[option] "1234? That's the kind of thing that an idiot would put on his lug...um, well you get the idea," exclaims your exasperated Minister of Security, @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Schwartz. "Look, today it was just some intern's shorts. Tomorrow it could be secret negotiations, or your personal travel plans, or..." @@HE@@ shudders uncomfortably. "We should immediately institute a new password policy, with minimum length, special character, and no reuse requirements."
[effect] @@DENONYM@@ are constantly pestered to change their p@55w0rd5

[option] "Passwords aren't enough," insists Dàguóren app developer @@RANDOMNAME@@, while changing @@HIS@@ luggage combination. "You should also implement a multi-factor authentication system, to verify the identity of the person trying to log-in. In fact, my new app -- Multi-factor OnLine Endorser -- will track and challenge all log-in attempts with a verification code. All you need to do is register all government employees' user names and mobile phone numbers. And it's all ad-supported, so it won't cost you a single @@CURRENCY@@."
[effect] government employees must watch a five minute ad before they can start work

[option] "Great scott! Security isn't just what you know, or what you have, but also what you are," gesticulates white-haired biometrics researcher @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ McFly. "No, no, passwords can always be guessed, and mobile phones can always be hacked! But your fingerprints? Those are yours forever! Install biometric finger scanners on all sensitive government devices. It'll cost a mint, and there's a slight risk of banditry, but it's guaranteed the most secure option!"
[effect] demand for cellophane tape and after-market thumbs is skyrocketing

[option] "'National security' is the age-old cry of the oppressor!" cries journalist and balding sci-fi cosplayer @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Luc @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@. "Speaking truth to power requires unrestrained access to government documents, no matter how sensitive! Abolish all security measures, and allow @@DENONYM@@ to observe the workings of their government unrestrained. If it's not doing anything wrong, there's no reason to hide in the dark."
[effect] foreign spies working in @@NATION@@ just read the newspaper

Second draft, with hopefully relatively subtle but recognizable Spaceballs, Back to the Future (2), and Star Trek references. Also, it occurs to me that there's no obvious link between baggage combinations and IT security/passwords. So, "confidential documents" is now a "confidential laptop," and reworked the description to imply that the laptop was basically totally unsecured except for the baggage lock combo.

Title

A Carry-on Carry On

Description

As you and your new aide-de-camp were returning from a conference in Brancaland, @@CAPITAL@@ fell into panic after a briefcase containing confidential documents was lost en route. Fortunately, the aide had gotten his luggage mixed up and all @@HE@@'d lost was @@HIS@@ personal traveling underwear. Even so, an investigation revealed that these sensitive briefs were held in a suitcase with a simple combination lock set to '1234,' and this poorly chosen code has raised concerns about @@NATION@@'s password policy.

The Debate

[option] "You cannot be serious? 1234?" exclaims your exasperated Minister of Security, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Today it was just some intern's shorts. Tomorrow it could be secret negotiations, or your personal travel plans, or..." @@HE@@ shudders uncomfortably. "Well, you get the idea. We should immediately institute a new password policy, with minimum length, special character, and no reuse requirements."
[effect] @@DENONYM@@ are constantly pestered to change their p@55w0rd5

[option] "Passwords aren't enough," insists security expert and app developer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You should also implement a multi-factor authentication system, to verify the identity of the person trying to log in. In fact, my new app -- Multi-factor OnLine Endorser -- will track and challenge all log-in attempts with a verification code. All you need to do is register all government employees' user names and mobile phone numbers. And it's all ad-supported, so it won't cost you a single @@CURRENCY@@.
[effect] government employees must watch a five minute ad before they can start work

[option] "Security isn't just what you know, or what you have, but also what you are," suggests biometrics researcher @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Passwords can always be guessed, and mobile phones can always be hacked. But your fingerprints? Those are yours forever! Install biometric finger scanners on all sensitive government devices. It'll cost a mint, but it's guaranteed the most secure option."
[effect] demand for cellophane tape and after-market thumbs is skyrocketing

[option] "'Security' is the age-old cry of the oppressor!" cries journalist and science fiction fan @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Speaking truth to power requires unrestrained access to government documents, no matter how sensitive! Abolish all security measures, and allow @@DENONYM@@ to observe the workings of their government unrestrained! If it's not doing anything wrong, there's no reason to hide in the dark!"
[effect] foreign spies working in @@NATION@@ just read the newspaper

Not sure I really like this, but it's what instantly popped into my head. More or less.

[Valentine Z]

"1234? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kind of thing that an idiot would put on his luggage!"



But yeah, looking good to me so far! Not an Issue Editor, but I'm not sure if "p@55w0rd5" will break a tag or something because it is in the effect line.

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

"1234? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kind of thing that an idiot would put on his luggage!"

Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap...the reference is so obvious once someone else points it out.

New draft in progress, obviously.

But yeah, looking good to me so far! Not an Issue Editor, but I'm not sure if "p@55w0rd5" will break a tag or something because it is in the effect line.

Hmm, hadn't thought of that. Will keep for now until a Yellow/Red Shirt says otherwise.

[Australian rePublic]

Why @@LEADER@@ on a commercial plane in the first place? And in either case, why is his luggage not treated differently to eberyone elses?

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

Why @@LEADER@@ on a commercial plane in the first place? And in either case, why is his luggage not treated differently to eberyone elses?

[desc] @@LEADER@@ and @@HIS@@ aide-de-camp were going to take the official government aircraft, except the pilot was a bum with a severe drinking habit. See, @@HE@@ was traumatized during the Incident with Brasilistan, and has been kind of a mess since. Anyway, @@HE@@ quit his job as @@LEADER@@'s pilot to chase after @@HIS@@ flight attendant ex-Significant Other on a private airline.

Needless to say, the tickets got mixed up, and @@LEADER@@ and aide ended up on the same flight. The in-flight meal was off, and everyone got sick, including the flight crew. Fortunately, @@LEADER@@ was able to convince his former pilot to land the plane, but a series of wartime flashbacks got in the way. Although initially confusing the autopilot with an inflatable sex doll, Drunk Pilot landed the plane safely at another airport (well, relatively safely), and @@HE@@ and re-Significant Other rode off into the sunset.

@@LEADER@@ and aide got transferred to a new flight, on Oceanic Airlines. This flight ended up crashing on some deserted island. @@LEADER@@ survived, but @@HIS@@ aide-de-camp did not, sadly. After grieving for a bit, @@LEADER@@ decided to lay low, and let some guy who liked to cry a lot take charge. Of course, it turns out the island isn't deserted, and after about six years of silly sci-fi fantasy smoke monster nonsense -- including a series of strange time travel capers, during which an alternate-aide-de-camp was reunited with @@LEADER@@ (yay!), endless pretty boy crying, and some bald guy incessantly ranting about "fate" or something -- the remaining survivors finally ended up in a church in some way that makes no sense. @@LEADER@@ and @@HIS@@ aide thought this was stupid, so they went outside and hailed an Uber.

On their way to Whereever-the-hell-it-was Airport to see if they could finally catch a flight back to @@NATION@@, aide-de-camp was motivated by some mysterious force (or possibly the Chipotle @@HE@@'d had for dinner the other night) to change the combination on @@HIS@@ suitcase to "4-8-15-16-23-42." That wouldn't work, though, because the combination could only be four digits, zero through 9. So @@HE@@ picked "1-2-3-4" instead cause @@HE@@'s kinda dumb like that. So, when @@HE@@ went to actually change it, @@HE@@ realized that @@HE@@ couldn't find the briefcase with the sensitive documents. Fortunately, after a small panic, the said briefcase was located, the underwear was found to be missing, and @@LEADER@@ and @@HIS@@ aide-de-camp arrived back in @@CAPITAL@@ safe and sound, but now having to endure endless IT Security meetings about minimum password requirements.

~La Fin~

(?)

A Carry-On Carry On

Staring

Robert Hays
Julie Hagerty
Matthew Fox
Terry O'Quinn

Directed/Produced By

Jim Abrahams
David Zucker
Jerry Zucker
Jon Davison
J.J Abrams
Damon Lindelof

With Special Guest Appearances By

@@LEADER@@
@@LEADER@@'s Aide-de-Camp

Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual firms, or motion pictures and/or television programs occurring in the NS-verse or any parallel realities is purely intentional. There aren't any celebrity voices to impersonate, because you're reading text. This post is nonsense, and is probably safe to ignore. Now, get the hell out, we need to sweep the theater before the next showing. Seriously, who sits around reading credits anyway? What's wrong with you?

[Woods Is Back]

You could use this on option 2, but one of the hardest to crack locks are rotating 16-bit daisy chains. Just if you want to make it all technical.

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

You could use this on option 2, but one of the hardest to crack locks are rotating 16-bit daisy chains. Just if you want to make it all technical.

I'm a bit confused, since the whole point of a daisy chain of locks is that any one lock can open it. That way, you have have lots of people with their own keys still able to individually get in.

[Candensia]

As you and your aide-de-camp returned from a summit in Brancaland, @@CAPITAL@@ fell into panic after an attache case containing a confidential laptop was lost en route.

Wait, @@CAPITAL@@ fell into a panic? I’d suggest reviewing your word choice here, as it appears to refer to the general public. Isn’t an attache case containing a confidential laptop something the pubic ought not to readily know about, and then subsequently panic over?

Good luck!

[Verdant Haven]

Ahoy ahoy! Returning the favor of your helpful feedback on my own 1234 attempt :-D

Title

A Carry-on Carry On

Description

As you and your aide-de-camp returned from a summit in Brancaland, @@CAPITAL@@ fell into panic after an attache case containing a confidential laptop was lost en route. Fortunately, the aide had gotten @@HIS@@ luggage mixed up, only losing @@HIS@@ personal traveling underwear. Still, an investigation into the sensitive briefs revealed they were secured only by a combination lock set to '1234,' raising concerns about @@NATION@@'s information security policy.

Fun pun on losing underwear and "sensitive briefs," but I'm concerned it may feel a little clunky/long with the extra info. Also, was the laptop case actually lost, or was it just the aide confusing which suitcase it was in?

Either way, I might suggest something like "While fortunately it was found to be no more than a luggage mix-up, the resultant investigation discovered the case was only secured by..."

The Debate

[option] "1234? That's the kind of thing that an idiot would put on his lug...um, well you get the idea," exclaims your exasperated Minister of Security, @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Schwartz. "Look, today it was just some intern's shorts. Tomorrow it could be secret negotiations, or your personal travel plans, or..." @@HE@@ shudders uncomfortably. "We should immediately institute a new password policy, with minimum length, special character, and no reuse requirements."
[effect] @@DENONYM@@ are constantly pestered to change their p@55w0rd5

An aide-de-camp is typically (to my knowledge, at least) much more than an intern! It's a very important position. I might use the word "staffer" instead.

Since things like the recommended passwords there don't work for luggage locks, perhaps adding a suggestion related to physical security as well? Alternately, skip the luggage lock issue, and have the investigation discover that the laptop's password was itself 1234. That would move the whole thing to IT security quite handily (since no physical case will really ever be enough by itself, so why keep focus there?)

[option] "Passwords aren't enough," insists Dàguóren app developer @@RANDOMNAME@@, while changing @@HIS@@ luggage combination. "You should also implement a multi-factor authentication system, to verify the identity of the person trying to log-in. In fact, my new app -- Multi-factor OnLine Endorser -- will track and challenge all log-in attempts with a verification code. All you need to do is register all government employees' user names and mobile phone numbers. And it's all ad-supported, so it won't cost you a single @@CURRENCY@@."
[effect] government employees must watch a five minute ad before they can start work

I enjoy the MOLE acronym. I would probably make it more "on the nose" and have the dev ask for user names and passwords. Either way with that, I might look at having the effect text emphasize the enormous security breach created, rather than the ads. Or perhaps both? The government is permitting foreign enemies to install key loggers? ITSec staff dream of the days of strong passwords like 1234? Something like that.

[option] "Great scott! Security isn't just what you know, or what you have, but also what you are," gesticulates white-haired biometrics researcher @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ McFly. "No, no, passwords can always be guessed, and mobile phones can always be hacked! But your fingerprints? Those are yours forever! Install biometric finger scanners on all sensitive government devices. It'll cost a mint, and there's a slight risk of banditry, but it's guaranteed the most secure option!"
[effect] demand for cellophane tape and after-market thumbs is skyrocketing

Should this be "Brown" rather than "McFly" (for the Great Scott! reference)?

In the effect, "after-market" seems like an odd term to use, but perhaps "black-market" captures what you mean? Basically, criminal trade in severed fingers?

[option] "'National security' is the age-old cry of the oppressor!" cries journalist and balding sci-fi cosplayer @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Luc @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@. "Speaking truth to power requires unrestrained access to government documents, no matter how sensitive! Abolish all security measures, and allow @@DENONYM@@ to observe the workings of their government unrestrained. If it's not doing anything wrong, there's no reason to hide in the dark."
[effect] foreign spies working in @@NATION@@ just read the newspaper

I believe the macro you want is @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ (to observe the workings of their government).

There may be a little bit too much overlap between options 2 and 4, which both are emphasizing foreign intel access. I think you can keep this option as is, if there's a way to just modify the effect to emphasize the domestic side of things. "Newspapers routinely publish charts of which public officials spend the most time in the bathroom" or something like that. It would have the same effects, but gives it a more distinct feel for the true absurdity of the request.

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

Fun pun on losing underwear and "sensitive briefs," but I'm concerned it may feel a little clunky/long with the extra info. Also, was the laptop case actually lost, or was it just the aide confusing which suitcase it was in?

Either way, I might suggest something like "While fortunately it was found to be no more than a luggage mix-up, the resultant investigation discovered the case was only secured by..."
...
Since things like the recommended passwords there don't work for luggage locks, perhaps adding a suggestion related to physical security as well? Alternately, skip the luggage lock issue, and have the investigation discover that the laptop's password was itself 1234. That would move the whole thing to IT security quite handily (since no physical case will really ever be enough by itself, so why keep focus there?)

Hmm. Perhaps something like:

While returning from a summit in Brancaland, a confidential tablet seemed to go missing en route. Fortunately, the device was found and only your personal underwear was lost. Still, an investigation into the sensitive briefs revealed the tablet was secured only by a PIN set to '1234,' raising concerns about @@NATION@@'s information security policy.

?

I enjoy the MOLE acronym.

I was afraid that might go unnoticed

You're right though, the issue and effect should probably be a bit more sinister...

[option] "Great scott! Security isn't just what you know, or what you have, but also what you are," gesticulates white-haired biometrics researcher @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ McFly. "No, no, passwords can always be guessed, and mobile phones can always be hacked! But your fingerprints? Those are yours forever! Install biometric finger scanners on all sensitive government devices. It'll cost a mint, and there's a slight risk of banditry, but it's guaranteed the most secure option!"
[effect] demand for cellophane tape and after-market thumbs is skyrocketing

Should this be "Brown" rather than "McFly" (for the Great Scott! reference)?

In the effect, "after-market" seems like an odd term to use, but perhaps "black-market" captures what you mean? Basically, criminal trade in severed fingers?

I think I chose "McFly" in order to make the Back to the Future reference as explicit as possible. Whereas, "Brown" might be too generic, especially for a character referred to as "Doc" 99% of the time anyway.

I think I subconsciouly chose "after-market" because it suggests a normalization in the trade of thumbs, which tickles my black humor fancy a bit more. I'd just assumed that actual stats effects would center on the black market, of course.

[Australian rePublic]

Given your title, try to add references from this song
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=q7yCLn-O-Y0

[Demoness]

"1234? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kind of thing that an idiot would put on his luggage!"

Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap...the reference is so obvious once someone else points it out.

New draft in progress, obviously.

I'm glad you put this line in. I thought of the same thing last night, but I couldn't come up with a good Spaceballs-themed issue that wouldn't tire out after the first line.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Super premise there.

I have to say, one of the main security flaws of passwords for me is that so many of them mandate a certain level of complexity (upper and lower case, one special symbol, one number, 10 characters and so on) that I end up writing them all down.

Not sure that observation helps this issue in any way, just saying though.

[Trotterdam]

I have to say, one of the main security flaws of passwords for me is that so many of them mandate a certain level of complexity (upper and lower case, one special symbol, one number, 10 characters and so on) that I end up writing them all down.

I think the trick is to "write your password down" on a file in your computer and that can only be accessed by first logging in with a different, easier password

...Yeah. It does get annoying how sites demand that kind of thing, and I'm rather dubious about it actually helping. Making passwords annoying to use just encourages people to think of security as something undesirable.

...Although hmm. Something sounds familiar.
#1085 Nuke Before You Leap
1. passwords to nuclear codes must now contain upper and lower case characters
Though the nature of the passwords isn't actually the point there.

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

Super premise there.

I have to say, one of the main security flaws of passwords for me is that so many of them mandate a certain level of complexity (upper and lower case, one special symbol, one number, 10 characters and so on) that I end up writing them all down.

Not sure that observation helps this issue in any way, just saying though.

I think the trick is to "write your password down" on a file in your computer and that can only be accessed by first logging in with a different, easier password

The trick is to use multi-factor authentication, as it makes compromised log-in credentials easy to detect (you get pinged in some way on every log-in) and interdict. That's why I decided to add the implied clandestine hacker to the MFA option in this draft, as otherwise MFA is way too obviously correct.

Of course, all personal credential security measures assume that authorized users aren't themselves being compromised in some way. If you've ever been involved in internal simulated fishing email campaigns as a user training device...well, you're going to be very disappointed here.

[Australian rePublic]

Why @@LEADER@@ on a commercial plane in the first place? And in either case, why is his luggage not treated differently to eberyone elses?

[desc] @@LEADER@@ and @@HIS@@ aide-de-camp were going to take the official government aircraft, except the pilot was a bum with a severe drinking habit. See, @@HE@@ was traumatized during the Incident with Brasilistan, and has been kind of a mess since. Anyway, @@HE@@ quit his job as @@LEADER@@'s pilot to chase after @@HIS@@ flight attendant ex-Significant Other on a private airline.

Needless to say, the tickets got mixed up, and @@LEADER@@ and aide ended up on the same flight. The in-flight meal was off, and everyone got sick, including the flight crew. Fortunately, @@LEADER@@ was able to convince his former pilot to land the plane, but a series of wartime flashbacks got in the way. Although initially confusing the autopilot with an inflatable sex doll, Drunk Pilot landed the plane safely at another airport (well, relatively safely), and @@HE@@ and re-Significant Other rode off into the sunset.

@@LEADER@@ and aide got transferred to a new flight, on Oceanic Airlines. This flight ended up crashing on some deserted island. @@LEADER@@ survived, but @@HIS@@ aide-de-camp did not, sadly. After grieving for a bit, @@LEADER@@ decided to lay low, and let some guy who liked to cry a lot take charge. Of course, it turns out the island isn't deserted, and after about six years of silly sci-fi fantasy smoke monster nonsense -- including a series of strange time travel capers, during which an alternate-aide-de-camp was reunited with @@LEADER@@ (yay!), endless pretty boy crying, and some bald guy incessantly ranting about "fate" or something -- the remaining survivors finally ended up in a church in some way that makes no sense. @@LEADER@@ and @@HIS@@ aide thought this was stupid, so they went outside and hailed an Uber.

On their way to Whereever-the-hell-it-was Airport to see if they could finally catch a flight back to @@NATION@@, aide-de-camp was motivated by some mysterious force (or possibly the Chipotle @@HE@@'d had for dinner the other night) to change the combination on @@HIS@@ suitcase to "4-8-15-16-23-42." That wouldn't work, though, because the combination could only be four digits, zero through 9. So @@HE@@ picked "1-2-3-4" instead cause @@HE@@'s kinda dumb like that. So, when @@HE@@ went to actually change it, @@HE@@ realized that @@HE@@ couldn't find the briefcase with the sensitive documents. Fortunately, after a small panic, the said briefcase was located, the underwear was found to be missing, and @@LEADER@@ and @@HIS@@ aide-de-camp arrived back in @@CAPITAL@@ safe and sound, but now having to endure endless IT Security meetings about minimum password requirements.

~La Fin~

(?)

A Carry-On Carry On

Staring

Robert Hays
Julie Hagerty
Matthew Fox
Terry O'Quinn

Directed/Produced By

Jim Abrahams
David Zucker
Jerry Zucker
Jon Davison
J.J Abrams
Damon Lindelof

With Special Guest Appearances By

@@LEADER@@
@@LEADER@@'s Aide-de-Camp

Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual firms, or motion pictures and/or television programs occurring in the NS-verse or any parallel realities is purely intentional. There aren't any celebrity voices to impersonate, because you're reading text. This post is nonsense, and is probably safe to ignore. Now, get the hell out, we need to sweep the theater before the next showing. Seriously, who sits around reading credits anyway? What's wrong with you?

No. In order to prevent food poisoning pilots eat different meals to everyone, and aren't allowed to share

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

[desc] @@LEADER@@ and @@HIS@@ aide-de-camp were going to take the official government aircraft, except the pilot was a bum with a severe drinking habit. See, @@HE@@ was traumatized during the Incident with Brasilistan, and has been kind of a mess since. Anyway, @@HE@@ quit his job as @@LEADER@@'s pilot to chase after @@HIS@@ flight attendant ex-Significant Other on a private airline.

Needless to say, the tickets got mixed up, and @@LEADER@@ and aide ended up on the same flight. The in-flight meal was off, and everyone got sick, including the flight crew. Fortunately, @@LEADER@@ was able to convince his former pilot to land the plane, but a series of wartime flashbacks got in the way. Although initially confusing the autopilot with an inflatable sex doll, Drunk Pilot landed the plane safely at another airport (well, relatively safely), and @@HE@@ and re-Significant Other rode off into the sunset.

@@LEADER@@ and aide got transferred to a new flight, on Oceanic Airlines. This flight ended up crashing on some deserted island. @@LEADER@@ survived, but @@HIS@@ aide-de-camp did not, sadly. After grieving for a bit, @@LEADER@@ decided to lay low, and let some guy who liked to cry a lot take charge. Of course, it turns out the island isn't deserted, and after about six years of silly sci-fi fantasy smoke monster nonsense -- including a series of strange time travel capers, during which an alternate-aide-de-camp was reunited with @@LEADER@@ (yay!), endless pretty boy crying, and some bald guy incessantly ranting about "fate" or something -- the remaining survivors finally ended up in a church in some way that makes no sense. @@LEADER@@ and @@HIS@@ aide thought this was stupid, so they went outside and hailed an Uber.

On their way to Whereever-the-hell-it-was Airport to see if they could finally catch a flight back to @@NATION@@, aide-de-camp was motivated by some mysterious force (or possibly the Chipotle @@HE@@'d had for dinner the other night) to change the combination on @@HIS@@ suitcase to "4-8-15-16-23-42." That wouldn't work, though, because the combination could only be four digits, zero through 9. So @@HE@@ picked "1-2-3-4" instead cause @@HE@@'s kinda dumb like that. So, when @@HE@@ went to actually change it, @@HE@@ realized that @@HE@@ couldn't find the briefcase with the sensitive documents. Fortunately, after a small panic, the said briefcase was located, the underwear was found to be missing, and @@LEADER@@ and @@HIS@@ aide-de-camp arrived back in @@CAPITAL@@ safe and sound, but now having to endure endless IT Security meetings about minimum password requirements.

~La Fin~

(?)

A Carry-On Carry On

Staring

Robert Hays
Julie Hagerty
Matthew Fox
Terry O'Quinn

Directed/Produced By

Jim Abrahams
David Zucker
Jerry Zucker
Jon Davison
J.J Abrams
Damon Lindelof

With Special Guest Appearances By

@@LEADER@@
@@LEADER@@'s Aide-de-Camp

Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual firms, or motion pictures and/or television programs occurring in the NS-verse or any parallel realities is purely intentional. There aren't any celebrity voices to impersonate, because you're reading text. This post is nonsense, and is probably safe to ignore. Now, get the hell out, we need to sweep the theater before the next showing. Seriously, who sits around reading credits anyway? What's wrong with you?

No. In order to prevent food poisoning pilots eat different meals to everyone, and aren't allowed to share

Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da help!

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

Bumped for new draft.

[Window Land]

You have two periods at the end of the description.

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

You have two periods at the end of the description.

**window cleaner**

**microfiber cloth**

[Verdant Haven]

with minimum length, special character, and no reuse requirements.

The foibles of the English language make this feel like the speaker is asking for minimum length and special characters (check that plural?), but is opposed to reuse requirements. I might suggest phrasing it as "and restrictive reuse requirements" or "and no reuse permitted" in order to keep it 100% clear.

It's looking much improved :-D

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

The foibles of the English language make this feel like the speaker is asking for minimum length and special characters (check that plural?), but is opposed to reuse requirements. I might suggest phrasing it as "and restrictive reuse requirements" or "and no reuse permitted" in order to keep it 100% clear.

Nope, nope, nope, there is a simpler way:

"... no-reuse requirements"

It's looking much improved :-D

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

5 day bump, slight re-wording of desc, etc.

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

Slight rewording of description. Final bump.

[Devil Heart]

I like this issue too, the 1234 repetitions alongside the delightful script and da jokes!