Who's Who in Fatatatutti? (Closed)

[Fatatatutti]

Introduction

This is a series of mini-biographies of notable personalities in Fatatatutti. Comments and questions by TG are welcome.

---

Aldridge, Capt. Robert, a.k.a. "Bobby" - Adjutant to Gen. Marie-Louise Castro-Stalina.

Alphonse, a.k.a. "Scarfoot" - celebrity, raconteur and duck-about-town; former Presidential candidate; reputed Dux Magnus (Grand Duck) of the Ku Ducks Klan, reputed leader of the Alphonse Qaeda terrorist orginization of suicide ducks that fly into aircraft engines, reputed organized crime boss.

Anderson, Cassandra, a.k.a. "Cassie", a.k.a. "Mama Jo" - featured singer on the Hula to Heaven televison show; also known for the Pidgin-language hit single, Catchee Jesus Quick-time.

Anthony Sisters - billed as "The Six Anthony Sisters and Their Twelve Apostles", featured singers/dancers/personalities on the Hula to Heaven televison show.

[Fatatatutti]

Ball, Arthur, a.k.a. "Cannon" - author of mystery novels, including The Hounted Howitzer, The Counter Fitter Returns and Jesus was a Car Painter; his best-known characters include eccentric detective Dreadlock Jones, his loyal sidekick Captain Dobson and their nemesis, the dull-witted Police Inspector Street.

Bates, Gil - founder, major shareholder and CEO of the FatatatuttiSoft ("FattiSoft") corporation.

Beaurivage, Col., commander of the Chasseurs de l'Air air-assault regiment.

Bookman, Chief Insp. Danny, a.k.a. "Danno" - police detective, head of Fatatatutti Five-O.

Brimford, Wilby - Postmaster-General of Fatatatutti.

[Fatatatutti]

Castro-Stalina, Gen. Carlos Maximiliano, a.k.a. "Mad Max" - former commander of the 365th Parachute Division (the "Tuesday Division" ¹), semi-official government spokesperson on aviation matters; married four times, grandfather of Gen. Marie-Louise Castro-Stalina.

Castro-Stalina, Gen. Marie-Louise - former commander of the 69th Lesbian Light Infantry Regiment, former commander of the 365th Parachute Division (the "Tuesday Division" ¹), former operations officer and acting commander of the Crozet Peace Force, former training advisor to the Fatatatutti Foreign Legion, currently commanding the 99th Air Cavalry Brigade; semi-official government spokesperson on military matters; qualified multi-engine pilot and helicopter pilot; veteran of peacekeeping missions in the Suva Islands, Auftragsreich, Neurepublik and Southland Sudan, wounded four times on active duty and decorated many times for leadership and bravery; also known for circumnavigating the island of Fatatatutti in her 7-meter sailboat, the Pom Pom Galli; granddaughter of Gen. Carlos Maximiliano "Mad Max" Castro-Stalina.

Quote: "An officer should be able to make quick decisions and to convince others to act on those decisions - and it helps if some of them are good decisiions too."

Quote: "I think of myself as a walking brain rather than an Amazon. (refering to the movies Apocalypse Not and A School Fell on Me, in which she is portaryed as a buxom redhead)

Chang, Amy - manager of a sustainable logging company; married with children, daughter of Mickey Chang.

Chang, Armstrong, a.k.a. "Mickey" - served eight non-consecutive terms as Prime Minister of Fatatatutti and countless terms in Parliament, representing the Communist Party, introduced the Workers' Rights Act, currently serving as President of Fatatatutti; author of the novels The Geese in Winter and The Geese Remain, as well as several non-fiction works on the history and politics of Fatatatutti.

Chang, Fleetwood - labour lawyer; married with children, son of Mickey Chang.

Chang, Harmony - served three terms in Parliament, representing the Communist Party, currently serving a second non-consecutive term as Defence Minister; President of the Communist Party, former commando Captain, trained as a juggler, magician and clown; daughter of Mickey Chang.

Chang, Shoshone - activist with Fatatatutti Equal Rights Association (FERA), specializing in gay, lesbian, bisexual and transexual rights; son of Mickey Chang.

Cho, Col. Kim - commander of the 7th Air Cavalry Regiment.

Quote: "I command a thousand of Fatatatutti's toughest troopers and my father still calls me 'Kimmie'."

Cho, Raymond - accountant for the Westover Plantation; father of Col. Kim Cho.

Choi, Sunny - Director of the Fatatatutti Relief Organization (FRO).

Cruz, Capt. Fernando - adjutant to Col. Kim Cho.

---

¹ During an unusually wet spring, several villages in the interior were in danger from flooding. The crest was expected on Wednesday and the call went out to the Army for help. Gen. Castro-Stalina (the elder) received the message on Sunday afternoon and responded, "We'll be there by Tuesday." He marched 5000 of his troops more than a hundred kilometers over harsh terrain, arrived on Tuesday as promised, immediately began sandbagging and saved hundreds of homes. Since that day, the division's motto has been, "We'll be there by Tuesday," and their nicknme has been the "Tuesday" Division.

[Fatatatutti]

Dancer, Lt. April, a.k.a. "Ape" - helicopter pilot.

Day, Cpl. Penelope, a.k.a. "Penny", a.k.a. "Payday" - clerk at 99th Air Cavalry Brigade headquarters.

Dexter - criminal mastermind and duck; cousin of Alphonse.

Dijkstra, Carmen, a.k.a. "Shimmy" - Member of Parliament, Minister of Foreign Affairs, former personal assistant to Harlan Escrow; rumoured to be his biological daughter.

[Fatatatutti]

Escrow, Harlan - Chancellor of Fatatatutti University (FU), former long-time Parliamentarian, former multi-term Foreign Minister and Prime Minister of Fatatatutti, representing the Socialist Party; married three times and has nine daughters.

[Fatatatutti]

F

[Fatatatutti]

Gershon, Debbie, a.k.a. "Guns" - captain of Fatatatutti's national hockey team, the Valkyries; divorced, mother of three.

[Fatatatutti]

Harkulinen, Lt. - commander of the submarine Lionfish.

Harper, Beatrix, a.k.a. "Kiddo" - former Presidential candidate.

Higgins, Akroyd - taxi driver, part-time auxilliary police constable; immigrant from Gidney and Cloyd, married with children.

Hopper, Howard, a.k.a. "Hoppie" - founder and former publisher of PlayFat magazine; father of Misty Hopper.

Hopper, Misty - publisher of PlayFat magazine and CEO of PlayFat Enterprises; daughter of Howard Hopper.

Howerdahl, Ty - anthropologist and adventurer, led the Fatata-Tiki expedition, a re-enactment of the original voyages of the ancient Fatatatutians across the Pacific Ocean.

[Fatatatutti]

I

[Fatatatutti]

Jarvik, Cmdr. Raymond, a.k.a. "Rick" - commander of the South Pacific Submarine Flotilla, semi-official government spokesman on naval matters.

Jeebers, Bustin - teen singing sensation.

Jones, Ens. Kalikimaka, a.k.a. "Kali", a.k.a. "Chrissie" - commander of torpedo boat T-666 (the "Hell Boat").

[Fatatatutti]

Kalikimaka, Archie - co-owner of the Kalikimaka Ranch.

Kalikimaka, Bud - co-owner of the Kalikimaka Ranch.

Kamehemeha, Dooley, a.k.a. "Bruddah" - owner of the Bruddah's restaurant chain, philanthropist, former ambassador to the Unity of Archipelagoes; married, father of seven children, including Kelly Kamehameha, Xiao Jing Kamehameha, et al.

Kamehameha, Kelly, a.k.a. "Kiki" - student at Fatatatutti University (FU), member of Fatatatutti's national hockey team, the Valkyries; daughter of Dooley Kamehameha.

Kamehameha, Xiao Jing, a.k.a. "Choo-Choo" - student at Sunnyside Elementary School, personal friend of Alphonse; daughter of Dooley Kamehameha.

Keefer, Lt. Helena, a.k.a. "Leni" - commander of the submarine Angelfish ¹.

Keystone, Suzanne, a.k.a. "Sooki" - administrative assistant to the Minister of Defense.

Kiniski, Capt. Lewis - C-130 pilot.

Kono - first mate of the sloop Lucy B.

Kono, Capt. - Parliamentary Chaplain, former merchant seaman.

Kono, Gen., a.k.a. "Mad Dog" - senior member of the Council of Generals, reputedly the only member of the Kono family who is not in the Navy.

---

¹ The first Angelfish was lost in mid-Atlantic after a series of freak accidents. Lt. Keefer led her crew of 47 in a fleet of rubber rafts several thousand kilometers to safety at Gidney and Cloyd in the Caribbean. The new Angelfish was recently launched with Lt. Keefer again in command, as well as many of the original crew.

[Fatatatutti]

LaRue, Travers - private investigator, played a role in the notorious "Bag of Gun" mystery.

Lebenswasser, Gen. - commander of the 365th Parachute Division (the legendary "Tuesday Division"), former commander of the Fallschirmjaeger Regiment.

Lee, Warner, a.k.a. "Uncle Joe" - lawyer; related to the Smith family, ostensible uncle of Samantha Smith.

Luyendyk, Lt. - submarine commander.

[Fatatatutti]

Marmish, Schuyler, a.k.a. "Sky" - Member of Parliament, Prime Minister of Fatatautti, representing the Socialist Party, acting Minister of Education.

McAleskie, Sean - CEO of McAleskie Shipping; married to Mary Sullivan, father of twin daughters, Fiona (Little Fee) and Finn, son of Brian and Fiona McAleskie.

McAleskie, Siobhan - Chief Engineer of McAleskie Shipping with degrees from the Fatatatutti Institute of Technology (FIT); daughter of Brian and Fiona McAleskie.

McAleskie, Sinead, a.k.a. "Rhymes with Grenade" - artist, welder and diplomat; daughter of Brian and Fiona McAleskie.

Morrison, Sgt. Lawrence, a.k.a. "Elmo" - attached to the 99th Air Cavalry Brigade as Gen. Marie-Louise Castro-Stalina's aide-de-camp.

Murphy, Capt. Milo, a.k.a. "Surfy" - Army liaison to the Minister of Defense.

[Fatatatutti]

Nobile, Dr. Alessandra - Minister of Health; divorced.

[Fatatatutti]

O'Reilley, Col., a.k.a. "Extravagant" - commander of the Irish Dragoons Regiment.

[Fatatatutti]

Peters, Ens. Gilbert, a.k.a. "Pete" - First Officer of torpedo boat T-666.

Pomerantz, Col. - commandant of the Air Cavalry School.

Praetorius, Col., commander of the PanzerRegiment Fatatatuti.

[Fatatatutti]

Q

[Fatatatutti]

Rood, Capt. - commander of the helicopter carrier Dove, attached to the Fatatatutti Relief Organization (FRO). ("Rood by name, rude by nature.")

Rostelefantonastic, Lubomir (pronounced rose-TELL-ev-an-ton-AST-itch), a.k.a. "Lucky" - actor, best known for starring as Eric Cartman in the popular television series South Park, which is filmed live in Fatatatutti.

Rostelefantonastic, Theresa (pronounced rose-TELL-ev-an-ton-AST-itch) - opera diva.

[Fatatatutti]

Siskelebert, R.G. (pronounced siss-KELL-i-bear) - film critic for the Wong Street Journal.

Small, Harlan - founder, major shareholder and CEO of the Small-Mart corporation, which operates more than 100,000 general retail stores in Fatatatutti.

Smith, Samantha, a.k.a. "Sam" - investigator for the Ministry of Labour.

Sparechange, Felicity - administrative assistant to the head of Fatatatutti Intelligence, Department 6 (FI6).

Stone, Dr. Milburn - former Minister of Health.

Stuka, Helmut - beachcomber, reputed to be the richest man in Fatatatutti.

[Fatatatutti]

Taves, Insp. Caroline, a.k.a. "Liney" - police detective, attached to Fatatatutti Five-O Flying Squad.

Timson, Col. Andrew, a.k.a. "Andre" - commandant of the Guerrilla Warfare School.

[Fatatatutti]

Ulvaeus, Lt. Anni-Frid - commander of the submarine Goldfish, best known for the "Bondurant Incident" ¹.

---

¹ The submarine Goldfish intercepted the slave ship Bondurant on the high seas based on information provided by Fatatatutti Intelligence (FI). The ship was seized with a minimum of violence and turned over to the freed slaves with a prize crew to help them return to their native land. The slavers were set adrift with the now-famous words from Lt. Ulvaeus, "My ancestors crossed the ocean in small open boats. I hope your seamanship is as good as theirs."

[Fatatatutti]

Vucetich, Lt. Joanne, a.k.a. "Fingers" - submarine commander.

[Fatatatutti]

Waverly, Alexander, a.k.a. "Uncle Alex" - head of Fatatatutti Intelligence, Department 6 (FI6).

Wilson, Maj. John, a.k.a. "Scottie", a.k.a. "Johnny" - commander of No. One Foreign Commando; bagpiper.

Wong-Fu, Julie - former Minister of Defense.

Wu, Amy

Wu, "Auntie"