NATIONSTATES
TURTLESHROOM FINALLY UNVEILS “KABLOOKA II”, SUCCESSOR TO CONVERTED SATURN V ROCKETS AND AN ACTUAL ICBM
• FORT CREEPER, SOUTHEASTERN TURTLESHROOM
Pickelhaubes were thrown in the air and rocket scientists from the privatized space program embraced each other as everyone saluted at their work of military might.
After sixty years of using leftover civilian rockets to launch missiles, and since 2008, nuclear warheads, TurtleShroom, at long last, finally completed and assembled a new missile that is smaller, easier to build, and more steerable than its predecessor, at the cost of speed.
The missile is officially named Kablooka II, meaning it is the successor to the long-standing Kablooka I, or, as most know it, the Saturn V Recycling Missile. However, TurtleShroomian soldiers and the press have already dubbed it Charged Creeper, after the beloved, single player sandbox computer game and national craze, MineCraft.
The missile was launched at 7:01 AM local time (seven hundred one hours in Army Time) on the fifteenth of April, 2012 AD. Though they originally planned a press invitation and a tour of the missile, the military changed their plans in fear that the C’Tani invaders, still being held off at the northwestern borderlands in a long stalemate, would attack and steal the warhead and its launcher.
Kablooka II’s target was a remote, unoccupied area of desert. If the missile succeeds in hitting its target, it will detonate the nuclear warhead and form the usual mushroom cloud its payload yields.
(Careful research has ensured that the fallout won’t poison any citizens, though demographers fear a sizable nekomimi settlement about a hundred miles south could be at risk. They would certainly see the mushroom cloud, and they were warned the day before by the government to “duck and cover” for the duration of the project.)
Mere minutes later, the missile hit its target with a four yard margin of error, detonating the warhead perfectly and unleashing the power of nuclear fission into the twilight of the rising sun.
The missile was launched from the extreme southestern side of TurtleShroom, using one of the hundreds of launch towers redesigned to shoot Kablooka II instead of Saturn V’s Kablooka I.
Observers deemed it a complete success, but further tests will be conducted before the missile is mass-produced. Defense contractors are hoping for the nation to manufacture twenty thousand Charged Creepers for immediate deployment, if they are ever needed.
It’s a great day for national defense. –and MineCraft fans.
-Vixen News, reporting live.
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