Bullying, damaging or helpful?

[IshCong]

Which part? The part where the three girls vandalize the sidewalk, or the part where Lovitz tweets about it?

I was thinking about Lovitz's actions...

Well, I can only respond within the definition I usually use, but here goes:
1: Systematic? Does not appear so.
2: Continuous? Does not appear so.
3: Malevolent? Unsure. It's rather a quirky situation.
4: Deliberate? Well, his action of tweeting about it was.

So I'd have to say no. *shrugs*
Partly because part of what he did was simply inform others of a wrongdoing.

Edited after re-checking language.

[Foguk]

IIRC, the major psychological reason for bullying is that it functions as a group unification method.

That being said, yes it is damaging, and should be prevented/rectified where possible.

I fail to see how bullying = group unification.

Group unification, you do it by chastising the outliers. Everyone will be the same. Why do you think bullies go after the wierd ones or the ones who dare question their authority or the ones with something messed up about them?

Is it right? no. Such is human nature.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I was brutally bullied a few years back. Anyone who thinks its helpful is a bully themselves or a total jackass.

Well, that's not very nice. What of those people that found, and I find this very difficult to believe, brutal bullying was character building?

They just happened to target girls.

Bullies are people and people deal with what they know. In a way that's what makes bad bullying so much worse, what happens isn't just down to chance.

I agree. Bullies tend to be influenced by their environment and they will lash out and humiliate others because it is what they know. And in the end, they enjoy doing it. That's why I have no sympathy towards bullies. I don't pity them. They know that what they're doing is wrong, but won't stop.

[Holy Trek]

Now, I'll say about my own experiences with bullying, as the victim.....that my parents-love them very much-often sent me mixed signals. My mom would simply offer a shoulder to cry on and plenty of band-aids when I was little....dad would force me to learn how to fight, which at age 8 was something I HATED doing. What I did learn from him also didn't help as I got older, as the black eye and slight concussion in 8th grade proved...elementary school counselors viewed me as a psycho 4th grader with issues, and junior high counselors didn't even want to see me out of fear they'd say something that would be misinterpreted by me and set me off. I pretty much had to do alot of the psychological and emotional healing on my own. Emotionally, I've healed pretty well...but psychologically...I'll always carry the scars of those years of bullying...and I'll likely always get fired up over anything I view as bullying, and express open hostility toward the unlucky offender.

[Forsher]

Well, that's not very nice. What of those people that found, and I find this very difficult to believe, brutal bullying was character building?



Bullies are people and people deal with what they know. In a way that's what makes bad bullying so much worse, what happens isn't just down to chance.

I agree. Bullies tend to be influenced by their environment and they will lash out and humiliate others because it is what they know. And in the end, they enjoy doing it. That's why I have no sympathy towards bullies. I don't pity them. They know that what they're doing is wrong, but won't stop.

The ones who do not see why their actions are wrong need something other than sympathy or pity.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I agree. Bullies tend to be influenced by their environment and they will lash out and humiliate others because it is what they know. And in the end, they enjoy doing it. That's why I have no sympathy towards bullies. I don't pity them. They know that what they're doing is wrong, but won't stop.

The ones who do not see why their actions are wrong need something other than sympathy or pity.

They need therapy or a good punch in the face.

[Holy Trek]

You sound like a BAMF, bro. Perhaps you've psychologically damaged yourself through your own bullying...

Who?

[New Rogernomics]

I was bullied by my classmates for being 'gay' (even though I am just bisexual), and later ostracized by a large part of the high school. So I wouldn't call bullying anything but damaging. It didn't stop me having lots of friends, who were friends with the popular kids; or befriending the tough kids. So I never experienced the physical kind, as my friends would have beaten the physical bullies to a pulp.

[Maineiacs]

I agree. Bullies tend to be influenced by their environment and they will lash out and humiliate others because it is what they know. And in the end, they enjoy doing it. That's why I have no sympathy towards bullies. I don't pity them. They know that what they're doing is wrong, but won't stop.

The ones who do not see why their actions are wrong need something other than sympathy or pity.

I think that "don't care that their actions are wrong" may be more accurate than "don't understand why their actions are wrong".

[Inuyashina]

Now, I'll say about my own experiences with bullying, as the victim.....that my parents-love them very much-often sent me mixed signals. My mom would simply offer a shoulder to cry on and plenty of band-aids when I was little....dad would force me to learn how to fight, which at age 8 was something I HATED doing. What I did learn from him also didn't help as I got older, as the black eye and slight concussion in 8th grade proved...elementary school counselors viewed me as a psycho 4th grader with issues, and junior high counselors didn't even want to see me out of fear they'd say something that would be misinterpreted by me and set me off. I pretty much had to do alot of the psychological and emotional healing on my own. Emotionally, I've healed pretty well...but psychologically...I'll always carry the scars of those years of bullying...and I'll likely always get fired up over anything I view as bullying, and express open hostility toward the unlucky offender.

My parents, my dad, mainly, was on my side during the school bullying. I don't know if he knows the extent of my mom's. Thing is I get along with my mom some of the time and some of the time I don't. My dad helped me a lot. He protected me when he could and talked to the grown-ups when I couldn't. I haven't told many people bout my bullying but I'm beginning to realize more and more that I need to to be able to move on. If I keep my emotions under lock and key, I'll never heal. I'll never be able to forget completely and I'll never be able to I guess love as much as I know I should be able to. I just need to find trust again. Trust in people. Trust in the goodness in people again like I use too.

[Holy Trek]

Now, I'll say about my own experiences with bullying, as the victim.....that my parents-love them very much-often sent me mixed signals. My mom would simply offer a shoulder to cry on and plenty of band-aids when I was little....dad would force me to learn how to fight, which at age 8 was something I HATED doing. What I did learn from him also didn't help as I got older, as the black eye and slight concussion in 8th grade proved...elementary school counselors viewed me as a psycho 4th grader with issues, and junior high counselors didn't even want to see me out of fear they'd say something that would be misinterpreted by me and set me off. I pretty much had to do alot of the psychological and emotional healing on my own. Emotionally, I've healed pretty well...but psychologically...I'll always carry the scars of those years of bullying...and I'll likely always get fired up over anything I view as bullying, and express open hostility toward the unlucky offender.

My parents, my dad, mainly, was on my side during the school bullying. I don't know if he knows the extent of my mom's. Thing is I get along with my mom some of the time and some of the time I don't. My dad helped me a lot. He protected me when he could and talked to the grown-ups when I couldn't. I haven't told many people bout my bullying but I'm beginning to realize more and more that I need to to be able to move on. If I keep my emotions under lock and key, I'll never heal. I'll never be able to forget completely and I'll never be able to I guess love as much as I know I should be able to. I just need to find trust again. Trust in people. Trust in the goodness in people again like I use too.

I have to believe that the first step to truly heal the wounds left by bullying is to share my experience with others. Like Rebecca said, if I keep it bottled in, I'll never fully heal....though in my case, I might not ever get the confidence I enjoyed in 1st and 2nd grade back.

[Grenartia]

I was bullied by my classmates for being 'gay' (even though I am just bisexual), and later ostracized by a large part of the high school. So I wouldn't call bullying anything but damaging. It didn't stop me having lots of friends, who were friends with the popular kids; or befriending the tough kids. So I never experienced the physical kind, as my friends would have beaten the physical bullies to a pulp.

I've experienced similar. I wouldn't refer to it so much as bullying as harrassment, because, truth be told, while the harrassment did upset me, it wasn't nearly as bad as other cases of bullying I've heard of.

In my experience a lot* of bullying is unintentional on the lead bullies part. They don't always realise the true depth of their actions. However some that join them will and that's when it gets worse.

*That is not to say most.

Some teenage girls, sometimes do this. When I was in high school there was this little clique of 7 girls who enjoyed ganging up on me and bullying me. By that time I didn't really care. But there were other female classmates who weren't so lucky. One of them had to be counseled for the bullying.

The thing, these girls, all 7 of them, were very aware that they were bullying. And they enjoyed it.

Did anything ever happen to them?

I would fall into that category, and if somebody ever says that to my face....

Don't look at me....I'm in your corner. I haven't had to see counselors, but I have sympathy for those that have.

Same here, with regards to the last part.

I fail to see how bullying = group unification.

People ganging up to bully someone else. I've seen that happen.

I've seen it on a fairly small scale... But not on any massive 10/20 people to 1 type scale.

When I was in 6th grade, somehow I managed to piss off this one girl, and she managed to get her friend in on it. For two months (practically the entirity of my attendance to that particular school), nearly every day, I had to put up with verbal bullying, and in one instance, even physical (the friend, who my mom and I referred to as the 'enforcer', caught me by surprise one afternoon while I was waiting to get on the bus. She ran at me in a way that was just barely out of my periphery, and punched me on the side of my jaw. Fortunately, it wasn't hard enough to cause any injury, but it was hard enough to leave a visible mark that a witness took a picture of).

[Forsher]

The ones who do not see why their actions are wrong need something other than sympathy or pity.

I think that "don't care that their actions are wrong" may be more accurate than "don't understand why their actions are wrong".

You do realise that there is a vast gulf in meaning between those two things, right? The latter case will generally have a serious psychological condition.

[R Ev0lution]

You sound like a BAMF, bro. Perhaps you've psychologically damaged yourself through your own bullying...

Who?

[Itanica]

When I saw people getting constantly physically bullied, I would always befriend them and protect them. Needless to say, they didn't get bullied much after that.

I don't care much for verbal bullying, though. Anyone who can't take words on the chin is not ready for the world yet. And god forbid they ever use the internet. Words cannot hurt, I have been called many "hurtful" things throughout my lifetime, but it doesn't matter, because I realise that words cannot damage me.

Physical bullying does hurt;
Words do not.

[Grenartia]

When I saw people getting constantly physically bullied, I would always befriend them and protect them. Needless to say, they didn't get bullied much after that.

I don't care much for verbal bullying, though. Anyone who can't take words on the chin is not ready for the world yet. And god forbid they ever use the internet. Words cannot hurt, I have been called many "hurtful" things throughout my lifetime, but it doesn't matter, because I realise that words cannot damage me.

Physical bullying does hurt;
Words do not.

Oh yes they do.

[IshCong]

When I saw people getting constantly physically bullied, I would always befriend them and protect them. Needless to say, they didn't get bullied much after that.

I don't care much for verbal bullying, though. Anyone who can't take words on the chin is not ready for the world yet. And god forbid they ever use the internet. Words cannot hurt, I have been called many "hurtful" things throughout my lifetime, but it doesn't matter, because I realise that words cannot damage me.

Physical bullying does hurt;
Words do not.

Tell me more about your psychology degrees?

[R Ev0lution]

When I saw people getting constantly physically bullied, I would always befriend them and protect them. Needless to say, they didn't get bullied much after that.

I don't care much for verbal bullying, though. Anyone who can't take words on the chin is not ready for the world yet. And god forbid they ever use the internet. Words cannot hurt, I have been called many "hurtful" things throughout my lifetime, but it doesn't matter, because I realise that words cannot damage me.

Physical bullying does hurt;
Words do not.

Yes, they do. For instance, a person who receives frequent hate mail, is getting blackmailed, or has a stalker isn't getting physically beaten. But he's probably not going to sleep well, is going to have more stress in his daily life, and could develop psychological conditions as a result, such as paranoia or depression.

I guess it depends on your definition of "hurt," but there are consequences to verbal bullying which manifest themselves physically.

[Itanica]

When I saw people getting constantly physically bullied, I would always befriend them and protect them. Needless to say, they didn't get bullied much after that.

I don't care much for verbal bullying, though. Anyone who can't take words on the chin is not ready for the world yet. And god forbid they ever use the internet. Words cannot hurt, I have been called many "hurtful" things throughout my lifetime, but it doesn't matter, because I realise that words cannot damage me.

Physical bullying does hurt;
Words do not.

Tell me more about your psychology degrees?

Do you have a psychology degree either? I thought not. Just because I don't have a psychology degree does not mean my opinion is automatically wrong. You don't have one either, so why is yours right - Because it is the more popular opinion?

Only the weak are hurt by words.

[Divair]

When I saw people getting constantly physically bullied, I would always befriend them and protect them. Needless to say, they didn't get bullied much after that.

I don't care much for verbal bullying, though. Anyone who can't take words on the chin is not ready for the world yet. And god forbid they ever use the internet. Words cannot hurt, I have been called many "hurtful" things throughout my lifetime, but it doesn't matter, because I realise that words cannot damage me.

Physical bullying does hurt;
Words do not.

Care to provide some evidence for that?

[Itanica]

When I saw people getting constantly physically bullied, I would always befriend them and protect them. Needless to say, they didn't get bullied much after that.

I don't care much for verbal bullying, though. Anyone who can't take words on the chin is not ready for the world yet. And god forbid they ever use the internet. Words cannot hurt, I have been called many "hurtful" things throughout my lifetime, but it doesn't matter, because I realise that words cannot damage me.

Physical bullying does hurt;
Words do not.

Care to provide some evidence for that?

<-

And also, the number of people who kill themselves from verbal bullying is so little, that every case is reported. Sure there are those that just shut themselves off from the world, but the number of people who do that as a result of verbal bullying is also small.

More people are unharmed by verbal bullying than those that are - That's evidence that supports my statement. Only the weak are hurt by words.

[IshCong]

Tell me more about your psychology degrees?

Do you have a psychology degree either? I thought not. Just because I don't have a psychology degree does not mean my opinion is automatically wrong. You don't have one either, so why is yours right - Because it is the more popular opinion?

Only the weak are hurt by words.

I was being sarcastic to show that you apparently don't understand the psychological impacts of repeated negative stimuli that are used for a prolonged period of time in a systematic manner.
TL;DR: Words hurt. They can cause major psychological problems that require counseling.

I can just as easily say only the weak allow themselves to be beaten, or stabbed, or bleed. It is not true. You cannot fault the victim for being victimized.

[IshCong]

Care to provide some evidence for that?

<-

And also, the number of people who kill themselves from verbal bullying is so little, that every case is reported. Sure there are those that just shut themselves off from the world, but the number of people who do that as a result of verbal bullying is also small.

More people are unharmed by bullying than those that are - That's a fact, and evidence that supports my statement. Only the weak are hurt by words.

Care to provide some evidence for that?

[Divair]

Care to provide some evidence for that?

<-

And also, the number of people who kill themselves from verbal bullying is so little, that every case is reported. Sure there are those that just shut themselves off from the world, but the number of people who do that as a result of verbal bullying is also small.

More people are unharmed by verbal bullying than those that are - That's evidence that supports my statement. Only the weak are hurt by words.

So you have no evidence?

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

For those saying that verbal bullying doesn't hurt because it's just words, I will say that they're wrong. In fact, if anything, verbal bullying can be worse and far more lasting than physical bullying. Words remain, blows heal.