Bullying, damaging or helpful?

[Holy Trek]

I'd like to share my opinion, especially since most of the anecdotes we've heard so far were from victims (who either "toughened up" or didn't). I think it might add a lot to the conversation if you heard from somebody who himself used to be a bully.

First, let me say that I was a bully until I was 12 or 13, and that I sincerely regret doing what I did. If I met the people who I used to push around, I doubt I'd even muster up the courage to apologize and ask for their forgiveness. In the beginning, I enjoyed bullying because it gave me a sense of power and dominance over people who I perceived as "weaker." However, over time, I realized how ridiculous I was being. Bullying is all about establishing your place in a social hierarchy through violence and psychological warfare.

For those of you who argue that being a victim of bullying "toughens people up," let me say that it doesn't. People react in one of two ways: they escalate or they defer. They don't "toughen up." Bullying is a relentless assault -- 24/7/365 -- of warfare. There's no evading it. It is a form of propaganda intended to strip a person of their power, self-esteem, and willpower. Some, such as the OP, "escalate," and respond by attempting a hard show of toughness. As a bully, I never took this as a sign to "stay away," it merely meant that I needed to get a few of my friends, and pound my victim into the ground until he got the message -- "I can do anything I want to you, and nothing you do will change that." The only form of escalation that would've stopped me at that age was if somebody got fed up with me, got a gun, and killed me, a la Columbine. And deferring isn't much better -- it's a show of what I perceived as weakness. In essence, whatever people did was merely an invitation to continue. The ones who "got tougher" were the just the uncooperative ones who needed extra attention.

If you still think you "toughened up" because of your bullies, or if you view victims of bullying as sissies or weaklings, let me say that everybody has a breaking point. A threshold where they simply can't take it anymore. If your bully never managed to push you to that point, good for you. Consider yourself lucky. But don't lie to yourself. Everybody has buttons that can be pushed, and, if you think you "toughened up," then that just means that whoever bullied you either didn't push the right buttons, or didn't push them hard enough. Being a victim of bullying is like being a victim of the Holocaust -- you're either a survivor or a casualty. Nobody got "tougher" because they were in a concentration camp.

Finally, there is no such thing as bullying "improving self-esteem" or "preparing you for harsh realities." Self-esteem is achieved through success, and preparation for reality is achieved through failure. True, constant success leads to over-confidence, which will rock you when you finally fail. On the other hand, constant failure makes people feel helpless. Bullying is an attempt at sabotaging an individual's psychology, making every failure and shortcoming seem insurmountable, while undermining every meager victory. As somebody who has tutored, coached, and counseled both peers and youth, I can tell from firsthand experience: If you want to build a successful person, you don't bully them. You encourage them to rise to challenges, learn from their failures, and show them that victory is an attainable goal. Bullying does not do this -- it merely oppresses, robs, and breaks. It does not "push" you, but, rather, it "pushes around."

If you are currently a victim of bullying or have been bullied, please feel free to send me a PM/Telegram, or to open up to an understanding friend. There is no shame, disgrace, or weakness in seeking solace, sanctuary, protection, or sympathy from something this serious. If you approach me as a victim of bullying seeking help, I will respect your privacy and your situation, and offer you my wholehearted support.

I for one want to applaud you for coming out and admitting that you used to practice bullying, and that you came to the realization that it hurt the people you did bully, and that made you change your ways and hence become a better person. I'll honestly say that you just earned my respect for what you just did here. Also, the fact that a former bully has posted here and took a stand against those who make the false claim that they were improved thanks to bullying has been noted by me. Thank you

[Northern Dominus]

It's funny, I was bullied a little bit in grade school and junior high. Of course people learned very quickly I would hurl insult for insult and fist for fist when prodded so that sort of thing never lasted long courtesy of a little coaching from my dad and a few uncles, plus despite the isolation tactics I made friends pretty easily. That sort of thing stuck with me though, and throughout high school I tended to be the anti-bully. The guy that used his (relative) popularity as sort of a shield against bullies, and when that didn't work the guy who wasn't afraid to bounce their heads against the lockers a couple of times to get the point across. The fact that I grew up in a relatively rough neighborhood and eventually moved out to the 'burbs where the students were less likely to be armed didn't hurt either.
So I guess bullying did change me somewhat. I learned to dislike people picking on those who couldn't defend themselves and to be fearless when confronting those assailants.

Now in the end was that a good thing? No it wasn't. Despite being a decent student athlete I was benched for several baseball games and swim meets because I got into fights during school hours, leaving my teammates to carry the load. There was one instance where I beat an assailant so badly that his family threatened to sue my family, stopped only by the intervention of a local pastor who learned about what happened. Even today I feel that wellspring of indignation and rage well up at the mere implication of bullying in some fashion. People could say it was all worth it because I was doing it to other students who "deserved" it, but that record possibly affected my chances at getting scholarships during my senior year, and it was never becoming or worthy of my mental acumen to simply punch some jerk when I could have thought my way out of it and only hit them as a last resort.

Even if it's not much bullying does change people, even the ones who seem to be able to weather the storm. I'm neither ashamed nor am I proud of what I did, but I've come to recognize that it's not a good thing, not by any stretch of logic or emotional appeal.

[Wisconsin7]

Bullying makes me fucking sick. Too many people have been driven to suicide because of it, and it leaves too many fucking emotional scars.

It promotes hate, ignorance, and intolerance. It encourages division instead of unity. Separation instead of integration.

To those who say that the victims need to 'toughen up', I can tell that you've never been bullied, or known somebody who has, and I dare you to tell that to the family of anybody who has killed themselves because of it. I double dare you to do it, and see what happens. I assure you that you won't enjoy it a single fucking bit.

I'll take that challenge one step further.....I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU to tell all those who even now have to seek counselors as a result of years of bullying to "toughen up". I can promise you this.....you won't enjoy the reaction you get from them.

I would fall into that category, and if somebody ever says that to my face....

[Grenartia]

First off, thank you for lending your perspective and experience to this problem, especially in light of the fact that a disturbing number of people apparently think bullying is beneficial in some way.

I'm curious what you make of this recent rise in teen suicide rates related to bullying, especially the ones regarding a young person's sexual orientation. Does the advent of the internet and communications technology. Does that constant access increase the intensity of that 24/7/365 assault you referenced?
Also, in light of this escalating suicide rate who is to blame? Do the bullies have everything laid squarely at their feet and on their shoulders or does society at large have a part in the blame for not proactively taking on the bullies and standing up for their victims, seemingly leaving the task to a small few willing to intervene?

1. Honestly, I'm not sure what's causing the recent rise in teen suicides. Without a doubt, many cultures (and people within those cultures) are homophobic without realizing it. For instance, people who use "gay" or "fag" as a derogatory term: imagine hearing that every single day in the hallway, the locker room, on the Internet -- it could drive you crazy. It's an insult that's not even directed at you, but still gives you every reason to be ashamed of your sexuality, which is (especially in your teen years) a very core part of your identity. I believe that people who use "gay" as a pejorative adjective are bullies, even if they don't realize it, because they're still actively contributing to a pervasive system of thought and psychology that teaches youngsters to be ashamed of who they are. That being said, I don't know what's causing the recent upswing in suicides. Certainly, homophobia is nothing new in society, so there has to be some sort of other trigger. Perhaps this has been going on for a while, and the media is only now beginning to lend its attention?

2. With respect to the Internet and communications technology, yes, it is definitely a medium through which bullying can be achieved. I don't think the Internet is inherently a bad thing. But, for the bully, it does add a whole new dimension and a whole new set of tools to be used. Now, you can harass, insult, and sabotage somebody's life through cyber-space, anonymously. Before, there were places where a bully simply could not get to you. How can a bully attack you in your own room? How can a bully get you while you're watching TV with your dad? The home was a sacred place, which is why the stereotype is that the bullied nerd stays at home playing video-games all day. Now, all that's thrown out the window, because we live in a society where it's almost required to be constantly "plugged in." So, now, unless the victim chooses to utterly close himself off, the bully has 24/7/365 access to his victim. His job becomes simpler and easier.

Finally, let me get something out of the way before I answer your last question. What I will say is that, as a child, neither of my parents were very good at their familial responsibilities. I feel like my father resorted to physical violence more than he needed to, and my mother flip-flopped between stifling affection and blatant neglect. I suspect that this is a large part of the reason I resorted to bullying as soon as I was old enough to go to school -- I needed the respect, affection, and acceptance of my peers, and my own father had done this by being a bit of a brutish ass. Thus, this was the language I knew, and the one which I spoke and understood: power and violence. I don't think I was inherently malignant from birth; I was just deeply insecure about my ability to command the respect, affection, and acceptance of other people. This, perhaps, reveals a deeper insight into the psyche of a bully. I don't speak for all bullies, but I have a strong suspicion that many people bully others because they're insecure about how they fit into the social hierarchy -- in the same way that an overprotective girlfriend is insecure about how she fits into her boyfriend's life, and about her ability to maintain healthy, trusting relationships. Often, these insecurities stem from some form of victimization -- parental neglect, childhood abuse, deep insecurity, or even their own experiences with being victims of bullying. It's important not to mark bullies as some universal evil, but to understand the psychology behind the bully, so that we can challenge the elements of our society that teach people to become bullies.

At the same time, though, I think society fails to deal with bullying in a proactive fashion. Often, teachers turn a blind eye, and parents are usually no better. What we need to understand is that the support system is critical in a war against bullying. The bully seeks to divide and conquer. His power comes through his ability to ostracize victims, to make them feel powerless and weak and (especially) alone and friendless. Bullies often struggle to target "popular" kids because their support systems are stronger and more diverse. If you physically attack, they often have friends who can defend or retaliate. If you verbally harass, they have friends who can essentially provide moral support and undermine your efforts. The bully has to produce a separation between the victim and the rest of the community before striking. And when he strikes, he tends to highlight this "friendless loner" status. When you don't have friends to protect you and watch your back, it's very easy to start believing what you're told if you're constantly bombarded with it. So, while, without a doubt, it's true that bullies are guilty of the act itself, it's equally true that members of certain communities (esp. at a young age) fail to look out for each other, and simply let things happen. That's not how a community is supposed to work, but, unfortunately, that's how our schooling system works.

3. If you're still in school, and you see a loner who gets bullied a lot, or who might be a very easy target for bullying, don't be afraid to sit next to him and make a new friend. When bullies smell social outcasts, it's like a shark smelling blood. A person with a solid group of friends is harder to manipulate, harass, and mess around with. Likewise, when somebody is getting crap from all directions, just having one person occasionally sit next to them to chat without treating them like vermin can make a World of difference.

1. I feel I have something to contribute, as somebody who has been on both sides. I went to a Baptist-run school from 6th grade through 10th grade. Often, me and my friends would jokingly call each other 'fags'. Hell, even some of our female friends would join in. But if somebody from outside my social circle called me anything along those lines, there would be hell to pay. Once, I got into a fight with somebody because I merely thought I heard somebody call me gay.

Around the end of my freshman year, I finally realized that I was bi. And I instantly became more comfortable with myself. Of course, I stayed in the closet (and did such a good job, that apparently some of the people I went to that school with think I'm just screwing with everybody), and after the fight, people tended to be less serious when they called me those names anyways.

But still, I deeply regret the things I said when I was in denial. The fact that I don't know who out of the people I knew there are LGBT only makes it worse. The thought that I could contribute to lowering somebody's self-esteem based on their sexual orientation/gender identity pisses me off.

I wish I could take back all those things I said, even if everybody there was totally straight.

2. Conversely, sometimes the internet can be positive. For a little over a year until last October, I was in a rather shitty family environment. I won't go into the details (nothing illegal, though it certainly did straddle a fine line, which I think is almost as bad as actual abuse), but it felt like a form of bullying itself. Intimidation and manipulation were the tools of those people. I was rather severely depressed, to the point of not giving a fuck about living or dying.

But the community on here kept me sane. NSG was my lifeline. If it wasn't for them, I would either be dead, in prison, or a mental institution.

3. Recently, I, a high school junior, made the slight mistake of being open about my sexual orientation at my bus stop. I have gotten a lot of shit for it, but not from my fellow high-schoolers. Rather, from fucking middle schoolers (yes, you all read that correctly). Most of it was more harassment, than bullying per se, as the worst that happened to me and my friends who stuck up for me was getting pelted by erasers and paper balls. And you are right. It does make a world of difference to not be alone. Though, sometimes, it still doesn't seem to do enough good. Less than a month after I moved up to TN in November, a friend of my older sister's killed himself, due to being bullied for being gay. I never met him, but from what I gathered, he did have some very good friends. But it wasn't enough.

From what I gathered from your first post, you are a school counselor, right, R Ev0lution?

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

More often than not, bullying is damaging.

[R Ev0lution]

1. Honestly, I'm not sure what's causing the recent rise in teen suicides. Without a doubt, many cultures (and people within those cultures) are homophobic without realizing it. For instance, people who use "gay" or "fag" as a derogatory term: imagine hearing that every single day in the hallway, the locker room, on the Internet -- it could drive you crazy. It's an insult that's not even directed at you, but still gives you every reason to be ashamed of your sexuality, which is (especially in your teen years) a very core part of your identity. I believe that people who use "gay" as a pejorative adjective are bullies, even if they don't realize it, because they're still actively contributing to a pervasive system of thought and psychology that teaches youngsters to be ashamed of who they are. That being said, I don't know what's causing the recent upswing in suicides. Certainly, homophobia is nothing new in society, so there has to be some sort of other trigger. Perhaps this has been going on for a while, and the media is only now beginning to lend its attention?

2. With respect to the Internet and communications technology, yes, it is definitely a medium through which bullying can be achieved. I don't think the Internet is inherently a bad thing. But, for the bully, it does add a whole new dimension and a whole new set of tools to be used. Now, you can harass, insult, and sabotage somebody's life through cyber-space, anonymously. Before, there were places where a bully simply could not get to you. How can a bully attack you in your own room? How can a bully get you while you're watching TV with your dad? The home was a sacred place, which is why the stereotype is that the bullied nerd stays at home playing video-games all day. Now, all that's thrown out the window, because we live in a society where it's almost required to be constantly "plugged in." So, now, unless the victim chooses to utterly close himself off, the bully has 24/7/365 access to his victim. His job becomes simpler and easier.

Finally, let me get something out of the way before I answer your last question. What I will say is that, as a child, neither of my parents were very good at their familial responsibilities. I feel like my father resorted to physical violence more than he needed to, and my mother flip-flopped between stifling affection and blatant neglect. I suspect that this is a large part of the reason I resorted to bullying as soon as I was old enough to go to school -- I needed the respect, affection, and acceptance of my peers, and my own father had done this by being a bit of a brutish ass. Thus, this was the language I knew, and the one which I spoke and understood: power and violence. I don't think I was inherently malignant from birth; I was just deeply insecure about my ability to command the respect, affection, and acceptance of other people. This, perhaps, reveals a deeper insight into the psyche of a bully. I don't speak for all bullies, but I have a strong suspicion that many people bully others because they're insecure about how they fit into the social hierarchy -- in the same way that an overprotective girlfriend is insecure about how she fits into her boyfriend's life, and about her ability to maintain healthy, trusting relationships. Often, these insecurities stem from some form of victimization -- parental neglect, childhood abuse, deep insecurity, or even their own experiences with being victims of bullying. It's important not to mark bullies as some universal evil, but to understand the psychology behind the bully, so that we can challenge the elements of our society that teach people to become bullies.

At the same time, though, I think society fails to deal with bullying in a proactive fashion. Often, teachers turn a blind eye, and parents are usually no better. What we need to understand is that the support system is critical in a war against bullying. The bully seeks to divide and conquer. His power comes through his ability to ostracize victims, to make them feel powerless and weak and (especially) alone and friendless. Bullies often struggle to target "popular" kids because their support systems are stronger and more diverse. If you physically attack, they often have friends who can defend or retaliate. If you verbally harass, they have friends who can essentially provide moral support and undermine your efforts. The bully has to produce a separation between the victim and the rest of the community before striking. And when he strikes, he tends to highlight this "friendless loner" status. When you don't have friends to protect you and watch your back, it's very easy to start believing what you're told if you're constantly bombarded with it. So, while, without a doubt, it's true that bullies are guilty of the act itself, it's equally true that members of certain communities (esp. at a young age) fail to look out for each other, and simply let things happen. That's not how a community is supposed to work, but, unfortunately, that's how our schooling system works.

3. If you're still in school, and you see a loner who gets bullied a lot, or who might be a very easy target for bullying, don't be afraid to sit next to him and make a new friend. When bullies smell social outcasts, it's like a shark smelling blood. A person with a solid group of friends is harder to manipulate, harass, and mess around with. Likewise, when somebody is getting crap from all directions, just having one person occasionally sit next to them to chat without treating them like vermin can make a World of difference.

1. I feel I have something to contribute, as somebody who has been on both sides. I went to a Baptist-run school from 6th grade through 10th grade. Often, me and my friends would jokingly call each other 'fags'. Hell, even some of our female friends would join in. But if somebody from outside my social circle called me anything along those lines, there would be hell to pay. Once, I got into a fight with somebody because I merely thought I heard somebody call me gay.

Around the end of my freshman year, I finally realized that I was bi. And I instantly became more comfortable with myself. Of course, I stayed in the closet (and did such a good job, that apparently some of the people I went to that school with think I'm just screwing with everybody), and after the fight, people tended to be less serious when they called me those names anyways.

But still, I deeply regret the things I said when I was in denial. The fact that I don't know who out of the people I knew there are LGBT only makes it worse. The thought that I could contribute to lowering somebody's self-esteem based on their sexual orientation/gender identity pisses me off.

I wish I could take back all those things I said, even if everybody there was totally straight.

2. Conversely, sometimes the internet can be positive. For a little over a year until last October, I was in a rather shitty family environment. I won't go into the details (nothing illegal, though it certainly did straddle a fine line, which I think is almost as bad as actual abuse), but it felt like a form of bullying itself. Intimidation and manipulation were the tools of those people. I was rather severely depressed, to the point of not giving a fuck about living or dying.

But the community on here kept me sane. NSG was my lifeline. If it wasn't for them, I would either be dead, in prison, or a mental institution.

3. Recently, I, a high school junior, made the slight mistake of being open about my sexual orientation at my bus stop. I have gotten a lot of shit for it, but not from my fellow high-schoolers. Rather, from fucking middle schoolers (yes, you all read that correctly). Most of it was more harassment, than bullying per se, as the worst that happened to me and my friends who stuck up for me was getting pelted by erasers and paper balls. And you are right. It does make a world of difference to not be alone. Though, sometimes, it still doesn't seem to do enough good. Less than a month after I moved up to TN in November, a friend of my older sister's killed himself, due to being bullied for being gay. I never met him, but from what I gathered, he did have some very good friends. But it wasn't enough.

From what I gathered from your first post, you are a school counselor, right, R Ev0lution?

Thank you for contributing, Grenartia. It's always refreshing to hear new perspectives. I'm sorry to hear that your sister's friend passed away.

To answer your question, I am not a "school counselor," per se. I am currently a second-year undergraduate at university. However, I spent several months working for my university as a peer-counselor for students who were struggling to stay focused on their coursework for one reason or another. I also have background coaching athletes and tutoring students of various ages.

[Grenartia]

1. I feel I have something to contribute, as somebody who has been on both sides. I went to a Baptist-run school from 6th grade through 10th grade. Often, me and my friends would jokingly call each other 'fags'. Hell, even some of our female friends would join in. But if somebody from outside my social circle called me anything along those lines, there would be hell to pay. Once, I got into a fight with somebody because I merely thought I heard somebody call me gay.

Around the end of my freshman year, I finally realized that I was bi. And I instantly became more comfortable with myself. Of course, I stayed in the closet (and did such a good job, that apparently some of the people I went to that school with think I'm just screwing with everybody), and after the fight, people tended to be less serious when they called me those names anyways.

But still, I deeply regret the things I said when I was in denial. The fact that I don't know who out of the people I knew there are LGBT only makes it worse. The thought that I could contribute to lowering somebody's self-esteem based on their sexual orientation/gender identity pisses me off.

I wish I could take back all those things I said, even if everybody there was totally straight.

2. Conversely, sometimes the internet can be positive. For a little over a year until last October, I was in a rather shitty family environment. I won't go into the details (nothing illegal, though it certainly did straddle a fine line, which I think is almost as bad as actual abuse), but it felt like a form of bullying itself. Intimidation and manipulation were the tools of those people. I was rather severely depressed, to the point of not giving a fuck about living or dying.

But the community on here kept me sane. NSG was my lifeline. If it wasn't for them, I would either be dead, in prison, or a mental institution.

3. Recently, I, a high school junior, made the slight mistake of being open about my sexual orientation at my bus stop. I have gotten a lot of shit for it, but not from my fellow high-schoolers. Rather, from fucking middle schoolers (yes, you all read that correctly). Most of it was more harassment, than bullying per se, as the worst that happened to me and my friends who stuck up for me was getting pelted by erasers and paper balls. And you are right. It does make a world of difference to not be alone. Though, sometimes, it still doesn't seem to do enough good. Less than a month after I moved up to TN in November, a friend of my older sister's killed himself, due to being bullied for being gay. I never met him, but from what I gathered, he did have some very good friends. But it wasn't enough.

From what I gathered from your first post, you are a school counselor, right, R Ev0lution?

Thank you for contributing, Grenartia. It's always refreshing to hear new perspectives. I'm sorry to hear that your sister's friend passed away.

To answer your question, I am not a "school counselor," per se. I am currently a second-year undergraduate at university. However, I spent several months working for my university as a peer-counselor for students who were struggling to stay focused on their coursework for one reason or another. I also have background coaching athletes and tutoring students of various ages.

Please, call me Gren. :]

Yes. Perhaps what is most tragic about his death was that he reported the incidents several times, yet nothing was done.

I see. What are you studying, if you don't mind me asking?

[Hindopia]

Opposition is good. Argument is good. Competition is good.

These things either make us give up or try harder to become better.

Bullying, however, is absolutely damaging. Not only is the person being bullied becoming psychologically (and possibly physically) damaged, the bully is using their position of power or strength to harm the person. They bully because it is easier to bully someone weaker than it is to challenge someone stronger or smarter, who has the courage to stand up for themselves.

[Soleichunn]

Bullying, however, is absolutely damaging. Not only is the person being bullied becoming psychologically (and possibly physically) damaged, the bully is using their position of power or strength to harm the person. They bully because it is easier to bully someone weaker than it is to challenge someone stronger or smarter, who has the courage to stand up for themselves.

IIRC, the major psychological reason for bullying is that it functions as a group unification method.

That being said, yes it is damaging, and should be prevented/rectified where possible.

[Mois]

I still stand by my opinion that bullying is harmful, physically, physiologically, and emotionally.

You didn't need to be bullied to be tougher. All you need a want to be stronger, better, or faster. You can do sports and still be strong enough to combat muggers.

So, bullying needs to be stopped, and is, in my opinion, damaging.

[Bafuria]

Bullying both helped me and harmed me.

It did make me less vulnerable mentally and physically, but I'm still a bit paranoid because of it.

[Grenartia]

Bullying, however, is absolutely damaging. Not only is the person being bullied becoming psychologically (and possibly physically) damaged, the bully is using their position of power or strength to harm the person. They bully because it is easier to bully someone weaker than it is to challenge someone stronger or smarter, who has the courage to stand up for themselves.

IIRC, the major psychological reason for bullying is that it functions as a group unification method.

That being said, yes it is damaging, and should be prevented/rectified where possible.

I fail to see how bullying = group unification.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

IIRC, the major psychological reason for bullying is that it functions as a group unification method.

That being said, yes it is damaging, and should be prevented/rectified where possible.

I fail to see how bullying = group unification.

People ganging up to bully someone else. I've seen that happen.

[JuNii]

I fail to see how bullying = group unification.

People ganging up to bully someone else. I've seen that happen.

^ This.

question... do you consider this bullying?
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/20 ... gets-them/

why or why not?

[Forsher]

I fail to see how bullying = group unification.

People ganging up to bully someone else. I've seen that happen.

In my experience a lot* of bullying is unintentional on the lead bullies part. They don't always realise the true depth of their actions. However some that join them will and that's when it gets worse.

*That is not to say most.

[IshCong]

People ganging up to bully someone else. I've seen that happen.

^ This.

question... do you consider this bullying?
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/20 ... gets-them/

why or why not?

Which part? The part where the three girls vandalize the sidewalk, or the part where Lovitz tweets about it?

[Holy Trek]

I'll take that challenge one step further.....I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU to tell all those who even now have to seek counselors as a result of years of bullying to "toughen up". I can promise you this.....you won't enjoy the reaction you get from them.

I would fall into that category, and if somebody ever says that to my face....

Don't look at me....I'm in your corner. I haven't had to see counselors, but I have sympathy for those that have.

[Zirconim]

You sound like a BAMF, bro. Perhaps you've psychologically damaged yourself through your own bullying...

[JuNii]

^ This.

question... do you consider this bullying?
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/20 ... gets-them/

why or why not?

Which part? The part where the three girls vandalize the sidewalk, or the part where Lovitz tweets about it?

I was thinking about Lovitz's actions...

[Dainer]

As conclusion, the "helpful" component of being bullied is seriously related to your capacity of understanding the world. If you're quite blind as them, you'll not have any good learning from the experience, and probably end in suicide, or something like. Bullying helps some bullied, but no way is the same for all. Is like an opportunity which will just not serve to every bullied. The "damage" one, although suffers the same phenomenon depending on the bullied one values (like worrying about what others think), always will be present, not as the first one.

You're still saying it was my fault that I was mercilessly mocked and picked on in school for being myself. Screw you.

The word is despite, not because. Stop trying to excuse bullies.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

People ganging up to bully someone else. I've seen that happen.

In my experience a lot* of bullying is unintentional on the lead bullies part. They don't always realise the true depth of their actions. However some that join them will and that's when it gets worse.

*That is not to say most.

Some teenage girls, sometimes do this. When I was in high school there was this little clique of 7 girls who enjoyed ganging up on me and bullying me. By that time I didn't really care. But there were other female classmates who weren't so lucky. One of them had to be counseled for the bullying.

The thing, these girls, all 7 of them, were very aware that they were bullying. And they enjoyed it.

[Forsher]

In my experience a lot* of bullying is unintentional on the lead bullies part. They don't always realise the true depth of their actions. However some that join them will and that's when it gets worse.

*That is not to say most.

Some teenage girls, sometimes do this. When I was in high school there was this little clique of 7 girls who enjoyed ganging up on me and bullying me. By that time I didn't really care. But there were other female classmates who weren't so lucky. One of them had to be counseled for the bullying.

The thing, these girls, all 7 of them, were very aware that they were bullying. And they enjoyed it.

I think the more bullies their are the less likely it is that they don't appreciate their bully-ness.

Was it an all girls school or did they just happen to target girls? Bullies have a certain kind of victim.

[Alameda California]

I was brutally bullied a few years back. Anyone who thinks its helpful is a bully themselves or a total jackass.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Some teenage girls, sometimes do this. When I was in high school there was this little clique of 7 girls who enjoyed ganging up on me and bullying me. By that time I didn't really care. But there were other female classmates who weren't so lucky. One of them had to be counseled for the bullying.

The thing, these girls, all 7 of them, were very aware that they were bullying. And they enjoyed it.

I think the more bullies their are the less likely it is that they don't appreciate their bully-ness.

Was it an all girls school or did they just happen to target girls? Bullies have a certain kind of victim.

They just happened to target girls.

[Forsher]

I was brutally bullied a few years back. Anyone who thinks its helpful is a bully themselves or a total jackass.

Well, that's not very nice. What of those people that found, and I find this very difficult to believe, brutal bullying was character building?

I think the more bullies their are the less likely it is that they don't appreciate their bully-ness.

Was it an all girls school or did they just happen to target girls? Bullies have a certain kind of victim.

They just happened to target girls.

Bullies are people and people deal with what they know. In a way that's what makes bad bullying so much worse, what happens isn't just down to chance.