Bullying, damaging or helpful?

[Karonmo]

I was bullied since like grade 4 i think. The thing that really got me though was that it seemed NOBODY CARED!. Seriously the school-board i went to had a way of having a bunch of idiots in it was my reaction to it. Now usually i am very patient but after two years of it straight i finally snapped. Didn't do much though since of the absolute stupidity of the rules again. Then i went to another school in the same board. Same problem different faces. Then grade seven i realized they were all a bunch of cowards and when i slammed one of the idiots face into a desk they stayed away from me. Now what i gained from it was.
1. Knowing how to spot a troublemaker
2. How to spot when someone is hiding someone.
3. gaining a generally nicer person all around.
and most importantly being more communicative.

[Ravineworld]

Really, because after being bullied for years, I am in complete and total agreement with the OP.
Bullying actually improved my life. It gave me a reason to fit in and make friends.

For all your natural selection talk, it sounds like you lost the battle. You let them change you, you gave in.

No, it taught me basic social skills, something that I lacked greatly.
Had I not been given the reason to change (I would get beat up if I didn't), I would have a terrible life. I would be incompetent with women, fail at making freinds, and I would therefore be spending my saturday nights at home, not having any friends to make lifelong memories with. I wouldn't be able to enjoy my childhood (and teenage years) if it wasn't for the fact that I was beat up every day after school. Also, it gave me a reason to work harder at martial arts (which I have recieved a first degree black belt in TKD). It gave me a life and freinds. If it wasn't for bullying, I wouldn't be able to properly discuss anything here on NS. I wouldn't be able to make freinds. I wouldn't be able to go to the school dances and dance with numerous girls, simply by asking. If it weren't for bullying, I would probably never have learned social skills, joined sports that I was actually good at, and gotten to enjoy my life.
Now, I understand that others have had different experiences with bullying. But the fact still stays: making schools wussified will only make bullies seem like criminals, increase suicide rates, and prevent people like me from having a decent life and social skills.

[Holy Trek]

Ok...anyone that wants to claim that they were 'changed' by being the victims of bullying...all I have to say is, I feel sorry for any children you have or may have in the future. That little lie you tell yourself, and us here, means that when they become the victims of bullying, you'll likely either ignore it, tell your children to "suck it up and accept it", or even become bullies yourselves.

I was bullied throughout elementary school because I made better grades than alot of my peers (A-B honor roll three times in 2nd grade. I could accurately draw the map of the US in 1st grade, and I was the only one of my kindergarten class that could count all the way to 100 without missing a number). Third grade was really bad because my own teacher bullied me ( she even failed me intentionally, so she'd have a victim for next year). 4th grade was the worst time of my life in regard to bullying (I refer to that time as the 'Screaming Years' as that's what I did alot of, when the bullying got so bad even the teacher was impotent to stop it. Picture a room full of 28 bullies...ALL of them your fellow classmates....yea, it was THAT bad). I had my head dunked into a toilet, kicked, pushed, shoved hard enough to end up with a knot on my head and a mild concussion for several days..it was so bad I even tried to stay at home. My dad tried to teach me how to defend myself, but when I did..I was the one that got busted by teachers, while the bullies got to snicker and giggle knowing they weren't caught and couldn't be touched.

Junior high saw only a slight improvement, as the bullies went from the classroom to the buses. I had two that sat behind me and constantly thumped my ears until I had to cause a ruckus to get attention drawn to them (and me). 8th grade was the ultimate bad act of bullying when I had my head crushed against the side of the bus by a bully who got offended that I stood up to him. Had a black eye for three weeks

Now if you think high school finally ended the bullying....WROOONG!! My World History teacher (9th grade) actually failed me for being too smart for him (didn't know that was a crime, really. I was showing initiative, not being a smartass. In other schools, students get awards for that kinda thing. Not me).

Keep in mind, all those incidents happened well before I got a computer and internet. Now, I play an app on facebook called Nations (perhaps you've heard of it). My nation there is called Trekylon (I'm a sci-fi geek...GET OVER IT!). Once again, I come upon bullies who have nothing better to do with their lives than to look for one player they can easily harrass. It got so bad one of them actually hacked into my facebook account, stolen a picture I had, and altered it so that I appeared to have a Hitler mustache. Now, they all wanna call it a great big "lulz"..but I call it cyber-bullying and harrassment. There's STILL some bullying going on on that app even now. You wanna call it a "rite of passage", then you're full of sh*t.

Now, as to the question of whether the bullying then and now made me a better person, that's a mixed answer. If by "better person" you mean am I more compassionate, more tolerant, and more open...then yea, perhaps I am a better person. But if you mean by "better person" am I still the same person now that I was before the bullying started...then my answer is NO. My grades after 3rd grade never recovered, I became something of a slight paranoid, I now react more aggressively toward anything even remotely approaching bullying, and I have a temper that you REALLY don't wanna provoke. On Nations, I now tend to do things my OWN way, even if they go against the 'regulations' as agreed by the Nations Community (cause frankly, the Nations Community has bullies within it, and I'm no longer gonna bow down to them), and I've come VERY close to being banned on more than one occasion because of that tendency.

I fully intend to raise my children to be more tolerant and accepting of people regardless of their race, gender, nationality, I.Q, or religious beliefs. I also fully intend to pursue ANYONE that bullies my children and make sure they understand that I wont put up with that sh*t in regard to my children. While I applaud the US government for finally taking a look at an issue that has plagued schools of all types for too long...for some, like me..the question is whether it comes too little, too late.

I'll get off my soapbox now, as I'm likely to get pelted by stones for even climbing onto it and making this post....story of my life

[Romanar]

I think the OP has a point. I would say bullying made me stronger, but I don't think it was worth it. Yes, I learned to stand up for myself, and I learned how to hurt people who might be physically stronger than I, but I also became suspicious, somewhat paranoid, and more anti-social than I was before the bullying.

[Ravineworld]

Had I not been bullied, I wouldn't have ever had a reason to fit in, get friends, and enjoy my life. People who can't take bullying are unfit for the real world. It is a benificial, natural, and normal method of natural selection. Making schools hostile to bullies will only make the problem worse. It will reduce bullying, but it won't end it. In the end it will increase bullying-related suicides, cut first amendment rights, and destroy the motive for loser children to gain friends.
I should probably thank the people who bullied me.
Oh, and bullies were the reason I stopped playing baseball, and started playing sports that I enjoy far more and am actually good at (rugby and football).

Social Darwinism was thoroughly discredited decades go.

Like I said, I am no social darwinist. But I do realize that if it weren't for bullies, I'd have no social skills, freinds, or a life for that matter. I would be a complete and total loser who would be universally hated. Is bullying good, no. Has it helped me a lot? Yes.
Wussifying the whole world will not make there be less bullying or fix the problem. It will decrease bullying, but increase suicide.

[Zephie]

How is a some bored, aspie asshole calling you names & shit just to fuck with you helpful? Kick his ass and teach him a lesson, because his parent's didn't, obviously. I never bullied anyone in school, but if someone fucked with me I made sure they stopped. I have no problem calling people out, either. I even did so in college, embarrassing colleagues with their stupid pretentious, pseudo-intellectual bullshit. In art classes, I was the only student to stand up for someone when the professor tried to tell us what is and what isn't art. Assholes.

[The Blue Plains]

Physical is only damaging. Verbal is only helpful. Children discourage what adults will disapprove of in real life and what will hurt the recipients of the bullying later on. Fat people are less likely to be hired, for instance. The reason they are bullied is BECAUSE society disapproves of certain traits. If we want to stop bullying we can stop disapproving of those traits.

[Ravineworld]

I think the OP has a point. I would say bullying made me stronger, but I don't think it was worth it. Yes, I learned to stand up for myself, and I learned how to hurt people who might be physically stronger than I, but I also became suspicious, somewhat paranoid, and more anti-social than I was before the bullying.

I am very suspicious of people I don't know. I have very anti-social political views. I have paranoid political views.
None of these were the product of bullying. They were the product of my families mistrust of all things government.
Bullying literally helped me get a life and freinds. I wouldn't be a somewhat popular kid at my school, I wouldn't be able to enjoy playing football, and I wouldn't be able to rip somebody's face off if they lay a hand on me if it wasn't for bullying.

[Holy Trek]

Social Darwinism was thoroughly discredited decades go.

Like I said, I am no social darwinist. But I do realize that if it weren't for bullies, I'd have no social skills, freinds, or a life for that matter. I would be a complete and total loser who would be universally hated. Is bullying good, no. Has it helped me a lot? Yes.
Wussifying the whole world will not make there be less bullying or fix the problem. It will decrease bullying, but increase suicide.

I hope you read my post. After seeing yours....I have nothing but pity for you...and a cold distrust. You will NEVER convince me that the bullying you endured changed your life for the better.

[Holy Trek]

How is a some bored, aspie asshole calling you names & shit just to fuck with you helpful? Kick his ass and teach him a lesson, because his parent's didn't, obviously. I never bullied anyone in school, but if someone fucked with me I made sure they stopped. I have no problem calling people out, either. I even did so in college, embarrassing colleagues with their stupid pretentious, pseudo-intellectual bullshit. In art classes, I was the only student to stand up for someone when the professor tried to tell us what is and what isn't art. Assholes.

I applaud you, good sir!

[Israslovakahzerbajan]

Hmm...I arguably became stronger. I also fantasized about killing my tormentors before. Then I used to cry because thinking that my vivid fantasies questioned my humanity...either way, people have told me I need help. So I'd say it's more harmful than helpful.

[Holy Trek]

Physical is only damaging. Verbal is only helpful. Children discourage what adults will disapprove of in real life and what will hurt the recipients of the bullying later on. Fat people are less likely to be hired, for instance. The reason they are bullied is BECAUSE society disapproves of certain traits. If we want to stop bullying we can stop disapproving of those traits.

PREACH ON, BROTHA!

[Ellorn]

I was bullied. I have to say I didn't really consider it very damaging, but then again, I've always had a lot of willpower so I just ignored them. I should also say that it has made me more emotionless, I don't often show very much emotion nowadays. Some people may consider that damaging, others would consider it a strength, personally I believe the latter. I was bullied for not being a very 'traditional' teenager, so to speak. I prefer to read things like 1984, or listen to classical music rather than go clubbing or listening to popular music. I also speak with Received Pronunciation and I tend to spell things in an old-fashioned way, i.e. 'gaol'. On top of all of that I was also what you would probably call a 'geek', I was rather good at subjects such as history, science, English, I was never any good at Physical Education. The way that I stopped myself from being bullied was to either ignore them, or engage in psychological warfare. Since I went/go to a state school, the people there weren't of the most intelligent variety so it wasn't too hard to confuse them, either. In any case, I suppose it has made me a stronger person, but I can also understand why somebody would commit suicide; therefore, I would disagree with the opening post.

You my dear sir sound like an http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP.html

[Arbites]

Social Darwinism was thoroughly discredited decades go.

Like I said, I am no social darwinist. But I do realize that if it weren't for bullies, I'd have no social skills, freinds, or a life for that matter. I would be a complete and total loser who would be universally hated. Is bullying good, no. Has it helped me a lot? Yes.
Wussifying the whole world will not make there be less bullying or fix the problem. It will decrease bullying, but increase suicide.

Decreasing bullying increases suicide. Cave Johnson would be proud of that theory.

You've got a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome, nothing less.

[Wamitoria]

Hmm...I arguably became stronger. I also fantasized about killing my tormentors before. Then I used to cry because thinking that my vivid fantasies questioned my humanity...either way, people have told me I need help. So I'd say it's more harmful than helpful.

The fact that you wanted revenge proves you aren't a robot.

[Romanar]

I think the OP has a point. I would say bullying made me stronger, but I don't think it was worth it. Yes, I learned to stand up for myself, and I learned how to hurt people who might be physically stronger than I, but I also became suspicious, somewhat paranoid, and more anti-social than I was before the bullying.

I am very suspicious of people I don't know. I have very anti-social political views. I have paranoid political views.
None of these were the product of bullying. They were the product of my families mistrust of all things government.
Bullying literally helped me get a life and freinds. I wouldn't be a somewhat popular kid at my school, I wouldn't be able to enjoy playing football, and I wouldn't be able to rip somebody's face off if they lay a hand on me if it wasn't for bullying.

Bullying definitely did NOT help my social life. I was a socially clumsy nerd before the bullying and I was a socially clumsy nerd with a mean streak afterwards. I eventually learned to at least fake being social, but it took awhile and had nothing to do with bullying.

[Holy Trek]

Like I said, I am no social darwinist. But I do realize that if it weren't for bullies, I'd have no social skills, freinds, or a life for that matter. I would be a complete and total loser who would be universally hated. Is bullying good, no. Has it helped me a lot? Yes.
Wussifying the whole world will not make there be less bullying or fix the problem. It will decrease bullying, but increase suicide.

Decreasing bullying increases suicide. Cave Johnson would be proud of that theory.

You've got a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome, nothing less.

I agree.

[Wikkiwallana]

Social Darwinism was thoroughly discredited decades go.

Like I said, I am no social darwinist.

Your own post says otherwise:

It is a benificial, natural, and normal method of natural selection.

But I do realize that if it weren't for bullies, I'd have no social skills, freinds, or a life for that matter. I would be a complete and total loser who would be universally hated. Is bullying good, no. Has it helped me a lot? Yes.
Wussifying the whole world will not make there be less bullying or fix the problem. It will decrease bullying, but increase suicide.

How would stopping people from being jerks "wussify" the world? No-one reasonably expects life to be without challenges, but that is no excuse to go around making it even harder for others.

[Israslovakahzerbajan]

Hmm...I arguably became stronger. I also fantasized about killing my tormentors before. Then I used to cry because thinking that my vivid fantasies questioned my humanity...either way, people have told me I need help. So I'd say it's more harmful than helpful.

The fact that you wanted revenge proves you aren't a robot.

I suppose I'm too empathetic. To the point I even felt sorry for a certain tormentor after a make-believe rampage involving a sharpened screwdriver. Either way, I need a healthier way to release these emotions. The bullying has stopped, and they never got teh best of me, but I still feel bad.

[Wikkiwallana]

How is a some bored, aspie asshole calling you names & shit just to fuck with you helpful? Kick his ass and teach him a lesson, because his parent's didn't, obviously. I never bullied anyone in school, but if someone fucked with me I made sure they stopped. I have no problem calling people out, either. I even did so in college, embarrassing colleagues with their stupid pretentious, pseudo-intellectual bullshit. In art classes, I was the only student to stand up for someone when the professor tried to tell us what is and what isn't art. Assholes.

What the hell does the underlined have to do with anything?

[Wikkiwallana]

Physical is only damaging. Verbal is only helpful. Children discourage what adults will disapprove of in real life and what will hurt the recipients of the bullying later on. Fat people are less likely to be hired, for instance. The reason they are bullied is BECAUSE society disapproves of certain traits. If we want to stop bullying we can stop disapproving of those traits.

Funny, I was verbally bullied, and it wasn't helpful at all.

[Ceannairceach]

Social Darwinism was thoroughly discredited decades go.

Like I said, I am no social darwinist. But I do realize that if it weren't for bullies, I'd have no social skills, freinds, or a life for that matter. I would be a complete and total loser who would be universally hated. Is bullying good, no. Has it helped me a lot? Yes.
Wussifying the whole world will not make there be less bullying or fix the problem. It will decrease bullying, but increase suicide.

That is a logical fallacy; Studies show that bullying is a major cause of suicide; To say that it follows that decreasing bullying will increase suicide is, quite frankly, horseshit.

[Agadar]

Only the strange, weird, out-of-place and insecure people are bullied. And they deserve it. See it as corrective treatment to get them to adjust themselves to the norm.

I bullied a lot of kids in my younger years. I taught them to act normal. They owe their future to me.

[Wikkiwallana]

I was bullied. I have to say I didn't really consider it very damaging, but then again, I've always had a lot of willpower so I just ignored them. I should also say that it has made me more emotionless, I don't often show very much emotion nowadays. Some people may consider that damaging, others would consider it a strength, personally I believe the latter. I was bullied for not being a very 'traditional' teenager, so to speak. I prefer to read things like 1984, or listen to classical music rather than go clubbing or listening to popular music. I also speak with Received Pronunciation and I tend to spell things in an old-fashioned way, i.e. 'gaol'. On top of all of that I was also what you would probably call a 'geek', I was rather good at subjects such as history, science, English, I was never any good at Physical Education. The way that I stopped myself from being bullied was to either ignore them, or engage in psychological warfare. Since I went/go to a state school, the people there weren't of the most intelligent variety so it wasn't too hard to confuse them, either. In any case, I suppose it has made me a stronger person, but I can also understand why somebody would commit suicide; therefore, I would disagree with the opening post.

You my dear sir sound like an http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP.html

Psst, Myers-Briggs is full of crap. Just thought you should know.

Edit: got the name wrong
Edit again: still got the name wrong

[Ceannairceach]

Only the strange, weird, out-of-place and insecure people are bullied. And they deserve it. See it as corrective treatment to get them to adjust themselves to the norm.

I bullied a lot of kids in my younger years. I taught them to act normal. They owe their future to me.

Can't tell if troll, Poe, or serious.