Ahh, greetings my friend, and welcome to the most reliable investment bank in the whole wide world! In just five minutes, we can put you on the road to riches! And it's easy as one-two-three! Our financial advisors are more than happy to help you with your stocks and will aid you in your path to a happy and wealthy life. All of our advisors are highly trained and have no trouble creating that sweet, sweet cash for you and your family. And it's not that expensive either!
Now, you may wonder, how do I get that cash you just promised? Well, my dear friend, let me tell you! Just sign this paper here, confirming that you'll transfer all your shares to us, and our financial advisors will make you the new Scrooge McDuck in no time! Due to our extensive network of sca.. experts, your shares will be invested to profitable, no-risk stocks, and in two weeks, most of our customers have had a profit margin of over 30000%. Yes, that's right. Thirty thousand percent!
So what are you waiting for! Just sign this paper, confirming that you will transfer all your stocks to us and you'll be filthy-rich in less than a month!
Wealth, riches and money are not guaranteed. Steinberg & Goldstein is not responsible in any way for loss of stocks, wealth or money due to failed investments. Service fees up to 140% may be charged for any service, and Steinberg & Goldstein maintains the right to confiscate all your investments. Your personal information, including address, telephone number and credit details may or may not be sold to the highest bidder. By transfering the stocks you confirm that you accept these rules. If you have any questions, call our customer hotline at 555-1800-CASH. Special rates apply. Please note that this hotline is only for persons located in British Antarctic Territory, Cocos Islands, Central African Republic and Moon. If you are currently living outside these territories, then screw you.
