Is your Heir to the Throne a drug addled fool?
Is the President's daughter exchanging sexual favours for crack?
Or are you simply a honest, hardworking millionaire who cannot find the time to raise your child through their troublesome teen years?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, or even if you didn't, why not consider opening a "School for Troublesome Teens" in your nation?
This elite boarding school aims to instill the virtues of honesty, loyalty, chastity and decency into even the most troublesome teens. They will be taught their usual lessons, as well as ethics, scripture and latin. This is to help mould them into productive members of society, and make them worthy of their lofty and honourable lineage. The Sisters of Mercy are a sect of the Holy Apostolic Church, and will set impeccable examples of behaviour for both young men and women, who are currently set on the way to Satan.
However, you need not be a member of our Church, nor even religious to send your teens here. We simply offer a rigid, disciplined learning environment, in which we may mould troublesome teenagers into the leaders of tomorrow. The school requires a tuition fee of 200% of average individual national income of clients to attend, thereby keeping it as a school for those at the higher end of the social ladder.
If you would like the Sisters of Mercy to open a school in your nation, please apply below.
Name of Nation
Estimated number of eligible pupils
Average Income in your nation
Most likely cause for admittance (Drug abuse, promiscuity, etc)
Number of Schools desired
Would you like them to have a spiritual focus, or simply discipline teens?
Once you have filled this out, we will begin construction immediately, and you can thank us later as youth crime plummets through the floor. The Sisterhood prays that you consider this offer, and that God enters into your hearts.
Amen.
Sister Bridget, Mother Superior of the Order of the Sisters of Mercy.