Baptism of Fire 44 Everything thread.

[Ipeland]

Dull draw scores Ipeland first point
No goals for either side as Ipeland keep clean sheet

It was a dull game for Ipeland, as a 0-0 draw against Garon-Averia score Ipeland their first point. Few chances were made in the match. Manager Prudence Steele said, "The team were happy about how they played in the game."

Highlights
0:01 Garon-Averia kick off the match
5:32 Texan shaves the post
18:15 Garon-Averia shot comfortably saved by House Sparrow Fogherty
30:45 Garon-Averia shoots over the bar
40:33 Texan shot saved.
45:00 3 minutes of injury time
48:10 Half time

Half time score
Ipeland 0-0 Garon-Averia

45:01 Ipeland kick off the second half
53:22 Scuffle starts in middle of the pitch between a Garon-Averia midfielder and Ipeland's Kiefer Sutherland Wallace
56:45 Scuffle ends. Both given yellow cards.
70:23 Streaker runs on to pitch. Gets arrested.
90:00 4 minutes of injury time
92:00 Texan shot saved by Garon-Averia
93:42 Kiefer Sutherland Wallace shot saved
94:30 Full time

Full time score
Ipeland 0-0 Garon-Averia

[Rouge Pioneers]

Victory at last!
Rouge pIonners finally got a win today against Hippostania. The game started with some strong attacking play from both sides, and Max Derry and Alexander Lacroix had to work hard. Then, after 14 minutes, Tim Harward slipped through the defence to score from 12 yards out. The most amusing incident of the game came in the 33rd minute, when a streaker invaded the pitch, only to be bundled to the ground by less-than-amused Orlio Descri. To add insult to injury, Felix Coca failed to spot him while going for the ball, and trod on his groin, leaving the streaker in considerable pain, and arrested by security. It was 1-0 until 67 minutes, when Sarriaho Demini scored from the edge of the box. An 85th minute goal by Tyrone Wells left Rouge Pioneers in a dangerous position, but they held on to win for the first ever time. They are now 3rd in the group.

Goals:
14' Tim Harward
67' Sarriaho Demini
85' Tyrone Wells

[The Golden Tamarind]

Miley World 0-1 Tamarindia

Once more the Great Yellow Curtain dominated in this match of little incident, with the inexperienced Tamarins lacking ambition and the even more inexperienced Miley World, famously cheerful people who laugh out loud at the drop of a hat, finding a way past Salinas and Moscoso pretty near impossible. And on the rare occasion when they did, Arnold Tapia looked solid between the sticks, thankfully improved from a shaky start in the Draggonnii Inviyatti where he seemed out of his depth and low on confidence. Two clean sheets in the Baptsim of Fire will have done his confidence the world of good. At the other end Masvidal had a quiet day at the office, with the rumours circulating that a move to Erathore is in the offing and his club Sparta hoping for a bidding war to up the potential return they might get for him: he looked a little distracted. It was Sergio Basta who filled the void with another solid performance and the winner midway through the first half, providing the Tamarins with a lead they seemed determined to neither lose nor increase. Despite their cheerful outlook on life, the Mileys will be disappointed they didn't do more with the Tamarins looking a little out of sorts.

Remember that streaking incident in the Beach Cup last season, back here in Mangolana? Well it seems the problem is an extended one for the Mangolani, with another naked runner disrupting play here today. Is it something in the national psyche? Or more to do with the Tamarins? This time a bearded fellow with a worryingly thin form and ribs his mother would be anxious about taking to the field wearing only glasses, a startled smile and a modest package that would've made the legendary Sword of Damocles laugh with self-satisfied machismo.

---

#142. Damocles Padilla
Vanguardia, 1970 – 1978

Where he came from, and where he disappeared to, are matters of conjecture, for the facts regarding Damocles Padilla are sparse and relate only to his naked activities within the SolCar Arena in Vanguardia, a claustrophobic and ramshackle little stadium that plays host to the SolCar factory team, Los Motores. What is known about him are mostly the parameters of what is not known about him: he was not a worker at the SolCar factory; he had no known address; if he had friends they never revealed themselves - literally or figuratively. He restricted his activities almost exclusively to the SolCar Arena, although there was That Time in Marquez. His name was Damocles Padilla but how that was known, was not known. He did not associate with other supporters on matchdays, and though at the peak of his career he was an heroic figure in Vanguardia, and something of a national celebrity, he never used the limelight, never dined on his infamy, and never spoke of his activities to anyone, least of all a journalist.

The Sword Of Damocles

The business of the man who became myth was to get naked and disrupt football matches by invading the pitch during play. At first this was comic novelty and often applauded by the home team and supporters. Perhaps in time it would've become tiresome if not for a number of factors that contributed to his elevation to the status of cult hero. For one thing he was fast, and a fair footballer himself. Many was the time he would take the ball to his feet, and despite regular calls from official parties down the years for players not to get involved, there was an instinct, animalistic and goaded on by the crowd, to try to get the ball back from the naked ninnyhammer. Often this resulted in an angry lunging tackle from a visiting midfielder, and fleet-footed Padilla would evade the studs balletically to the everlasting delight of the partisan home supporters. He also possessed remarkable speed and fluid body balance, so that catching him - the job of stewards and chubby police officers - would degenerate into comic keystone capers, a game of cat and mouse in which the mouse usually won.

Another contributing factor was the impressive sword of Damocles, dangling - often flailing - in the wind: quite a sight. But the key to his unending popularity was the upturn in fortunes of the factory team during the 'Padilla years' when Vanguardia won their three regional league titles in the days before a national league. Coincidence surely, but after he disappeared, so did the competitive edge Los Motores displayed during their most successful era, when the sword of Damocles regularly swung over the mud and grass of the SolCar Arena. The more superstitious fans - there were, and are, plenty of them - will also note that this was the time of the great decline of the team's fierce rivals, long-time national powerhouse Sporting Club Marquez.

That Time In Marquez

Two events, one corroborated, one not, are ascribed by fans at the SolCar as the turning points in the grand history of their once far superior and much disliked neighbours. Both events involve Damocles Padilla. What is entrusted in the shrine of fact is that match, back in 1975, when Vanguardia beat their rivals away from home for the very first time. It was also the first and only time that Padilla appeared - in all his naked glory - anywhere other than at the SolCar Arena. With the game going the way of the hosts, 4-3, minutes to go and Vanguardia looking mentally beaten as usual, Padilla appeared from nowhere leaping over the barrier, swinging wildly, and covered the length of the pitch thrice over before he was felled and subdued. In the eight minutes of time added on by the referee for the delay, Los Motores revitalised and scored twice for a famous victory.

That day and the 'curse of Damocles' are believed by Vanguardia supporters, and not a few Marquez fans, to have been the downfall of the mighty Rivermen. For the story goes that in 1977, during the building of a new stadium in Marquez, Padilla broke through security one evening, stripped naked, performed lewd ceremonies at the four corners of the area designated for the pitch, and buried his underpants, socks, sanitary products and a Vanguardia shirt under the ground near the centre circle. Whether true or not, 1975-77 marks a period of sudden decline for SC Marquez, followed by years in the doldrums from which they are yet to emerge.

The Superstition of Football Fans

Undeterred either by the empirical or the rational, fans of Los Motores continue to believe these and other fantasies about the spectre of Damocles Padilla. Where facts dare not tread, and truth is a long forgotten stranger, the march of the imagination grows ever more virile and lustful for supernatural explanations, even in the militantly atheist nation of Tamarindia. Padilla, they say, was not a mere mortal man with a penchant for public pubic display, but a mischievous spirit of the Río Colmillo. A river spirit! They say he had lived on the banks of the great river, fishing, hunting, making his mischief, for a thousand years before being displaced by the town of Marquez, where to this day he performs random acts of trickery, chaos or just plain strange coincidence, to discomfit the incomers and town-builders. These same people believe he orchestrated the rise of Vanguardia and the fall of Marquez in Tamarindo football because he dislikes the residents there. And that the continuing misfortunes of the Rivermen is made real by the sword of Damocles. They also say that one day, Damocles Padilla will return - naked, one supposes - and when he does, Vanguardia will become champions. They can but dream.

The Last Streak

And finally, back to the facts of the matter. Damocles Padilla was last seen at the SolCar Arena in the 1978 season. In the nine years he graced the old stadium, he managed to get on the field of play at least four times in each season. In 1974 he set a personal best of ten games out fifteen, including a streak - if you will pardon the pun - of five consecutive pitch invasions. He is believed to have scored seventeen goals during his escapades, all against Vanguardia's opposition and all quite rightly disallowed. A book project, The Sword of Damocles, a television documentary, The Naked Guardo, and a film provisionally titled Streak 74 with Germinal Perales slated to play the role of Padilla, all failed to reach publication because it proved impossible to establish any reliable facts or even credible fictions. The name Damocles Padilla does not appear on any registry with the appropriate place and time of the man involved:even this is probably a fiction. What happened to him nobody knows, though many have tried to find out and many more still have come forward claiming to be the real Damocles. But so far, no-one has substantiated their claim or managed to display a sword of a proportion matching the streaker of Sol Arena.

[Thatius]

8:49 P.M.
The Hotel


"Oi! What the hell just happened out there Alex?" screamed Coach Varenkov. "Not only did we get beat, we didn't get a single goal. You and and Scott had too many chances up there, but never took the opportunity to make the goal."

"Woah, coach. Slow down, it wasn't our fault, honestly. If you want to yell at someone, look at the defense and Novák. They let all those goals in." Alex replied, getting really red in the face. Confrontations like this never went down pretty.

"You're right. I should yell at everyone. Grab the rest of the team, since you're the captain."

Alex leaves the coach's hotel room and goes downstairs to knock on his teammate's doors. Yelling, he said: "C'mon guys, get out of your rooms, we've got a team meeting."

"Ugh, not again!" protested Fernando. "We just got back here and I'm absolutely sleep deprived."

"You can save that for after the meeting, this will only take about thirty minutes."

The team made their way groggily up to the elevator, and then into Coach Valenkov's room. It was hard to see how all eleven of them plus the coach and assistant coach could fit in there. There was barely enough space for the TV and a bed. Nonetheless, the team managed to squeeze everyone inside. No one said a word until the coach said

"You all know what happened today. A loss to Brendino the 3rd. A big one as well. This will ruin any chance that we have to qualify for the World Cup. But you know what we have that other teams don't? Spirit. Sure, the loss and the draw against Seunem might damper your outlook on the rest of the tournament, but we of Thatius have overcame many trials. Have you checked out the other sports that Thatians have participated in? Babbage Rules Football? Tennis? Ice Hockey? Well now it's our turn to make a difference in soccer. We can do it, too. Just look at the rest of the group competition:
Carmadin, Zhevalsso-zhevalsso, and Zoobians. If we can beat all those teams, we might just have a chance to make it to the next stage of the tournament. Here's what we're going to fix. Alex, you're playing Center Striker now, instead of Right. Cédric, you will be playing left midfielder, not left striker. I know, I know. You're a great player, but I think you could really do some damage to the other team when you stay in the middle of the field. Will, you're now left striker. Use your foot to score at least one goal in the next game, I beg you. We will discuss one-two-three plays before the next match, but if you all have any strategies, please bring them up. I want a win really bad. We need it not for only ourselves, but for our countrymen. Think of the billions of people at home who want us to succeed. Tell me, why can't we do it? We can beat the next three teams, only if you all work together. Alex, I want you calling out to the midfielders and strikers. You're the captain, after all, but you need to take charge in the front. Novák, since you're the goalie, call out to the defenders when you want them to push up, stay back, or guard. For any corner kicks, I'm asking you to give directions on where is best for the players to line up. Guard the goal with your life. Not only does our future depend on it, it may change how the world views us. To many nations, we are seen as the fledgling nation stuck in between greatness and mediocrity. We can achieve more than what everyone thinks, and let's prove them that Thatius can be a star nation. You guys with me?"

"Hell yeah!" shouted the team. Everyone was grinning, laughing, and talking loud after the speech.

"Good, so let's go win us some games."

[Miley World]

Miley World Daily Mail

A disappointing loss for Miley World

Well, Miley World lost against The Golden Tamarind, who could possibly be the best team of this group since they has 2 wins in 2 games. Miley World has now a win, a draw and a loss. Tamarind attacked at the 27th minute when Ruben Candal passed to Hannibal, he then passed to Sergio Basta, he kicks the ball.. and he scores. 1-0 for Tamarind. At the 37th minute Miley World attacked. Alexandre Viard pass to Grégory Dedieu but Patricio Guillen trips him. Guillen gets a yellow card and Miley World is awarded a penalty. Dedieu shoots the ball... over the net, the score is still 1 -0. Then at the 61st minute the play was disrupted by a naked dude running around of the field. Some Miley World players were laughing at that. Some others were shocked cuz nudity isn't tolerated in Miley World. As soon as the nudist was noticed on the field, the game was blacked out on Miley World's television. At the 74th minute Zezinho from Miley World got a yellow card when he tripped Hannibal. Hannibal stared at him for a minute, he looked really mad. Zezinho tried to avoid him for the rest of the game. Miley World desesperately attacked at the 86th minute when Connor Downing passed the ball to Ashley Johnstone, he shoots but Arnold Tapia makes a beautifull save to keep the 1-0 lead for Tamarind. (yeah Ashley is a guy, we have a few british guys named Ashley who plays football in Miley World).

Boxscore:

27' Sergio Basta (Tamarind) assisted by Hannibal

Yellow cards:

37' Patricio Guillen (Tamarind)
74' Zezinho (Miley World)

We interviewed Grégory Dedieu after the game but we didn't understood what he said: "yo umm dats relly dissapointign we expeck 2 win avery game so we dunt accep the loss we better win aginst hladoi huggers lol"

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

From the Roddens Daily Echo.

FOUR TO THE FLOOR
Kytlerians rev up their campaign in Qazox

Triimoria 2-4 The Kytler Peninsulae

The Kytler Peninsulae produced a four-star second-half display to take top spot in the Diamond Group at the Baptism of Fire. In a thrilling match in Qazox City, the Kytlerian team twice trailed, but two late goals secured a 4-2 victory from a dangerous Triimoria.

The Triimorians needed just seven minutes to take the lead, and it came in contentious circumstances. Quinn Quitazotl appeared to foul Shuke Cliriputed off the ball near the halfway line, but play was allowed to continue. Marcus Galeria was able to pick up the loose ball, play a superbly executed one-two with Adrian Atov, and cross the ball for a tap-in for Uzwin Ozzaguira, who appeared to be offside on television replays.

The Kytlerians, however, responded to the injustice in spectacular fashion with an almost instant equaliser. Harold D'Awesome made a mockery of his name with a hashed clearance that fell to Jan-Willem Snyder, who exchanged passes with Arkadiusz Abramovicz before slotting past veteran goalkeeper Joseph Farmer. Nine minutes had passed and both teams were already on the scoresheet, with neither appearing to have settled at the back. As the match settled down through the remainder of the first half, however, it became clear that the fluidity of the Kytlerian formation - with both Snyder and Abramovicz free to roam behind central striker Cameron Upson, and Cliriputed drifting in and out of the right wing whilst tracking back into central defence when needed - was unsettling the Triimorians, who used a rigid 4-4-2. Upson, however, was denied twice by Farmer when clean through on goal, and the Kytlerians would be made to pay in the last minute of the first half. Atov charged down Armin Hassani's clearance and the ball fell to Ozzaguira, who returned the favour for his goal by setting up Galeria for a goal that was as easy as the first, but without two reasons to disallow it.

This lead was even more short-lived than the first, however. Triimoria were clearly preparing for half-time when a loose ball from Harold Lightning changed the team talk completely. Snyder seized the opportunity, running at the defense before finding Upson with an impressive lofted through-ball. The FC Alaer striker converted the chance with a powerful shot into the roof of the net, leaving Farmer helpless. 2-2, at the end of an odd first half that for the most part was not exactly end-to-end.

The second half was more frantic, but for some time it was possible to wonder where a goal would come from. The Triimorian team found some success with through balls from the wingers to the teenage Galeria, whose pace was causing problems at the back. Daniel Ortega made a superb last-ditch tackle to deny Galeria a clear chance on the hour, and Galeria would hit the bar five minutes later after Atov's deflected long-range shot fell kindly at his feet.

Mostly, however, the Kytlerians were on top thanks to their fluidity in midfield, and they took the lead in the 74th minute with a fine example of just that. A sequence of short passes between Hassani, Cliriputed, and Abramovicz dragged the Triimorian defence to their left flank. Cliriputed - who typically plays his club football at right-back - spotted Howard Crawley completely unmarked on the other wing, launched a long cross-field ball to find him, then rushed uncharacteristically into the box, nodding home Crawley's cross at the far post. It was only the fifth goal - and the first with his head - Cliriputed had ever scored in his ten-year professional career, and ironically came as he was about to be replaced by the more attacking Norbert Naugle.

Not that Naugle was to feel particularly left out. Seven minutes from time, his early cross was flicked on by Upson to another substitute, Guy Stamp, who was unmarked at the corner of the six-yard box, and promptly smashed a half-volley past Farmer, who will have been disappointed to be beaten at his near post.

The win puts the Kytlerians top of their group, with a game in hand on many of their opponents. When asked if his team might now be contenders to win the competition, manager Thomas Morgan responded only that his team "will definitely expect to win the group now," adding that "in a knockout competition, anyone can beat anyone else to send them packing, and that's where we'll be in a few games from now."

[Seunem]

“Now… Austin lad…”

“I know, I know. I need to remember my duties, be a team player, all of that. Sorry. It’s just all a bit of a novelty…”

“Same for all of us. You can all be f’rgiven for being a tad overexcited, lads. That’s normal. And gawd knows I appreciate individual initiative and creativity as much as the next fella, and I’m sure the gaffer’s the same, whereverhe’sbuggeredofftothistime, just… Go easy on the rap next time, eh?”

“Yes, Mr Taubmann.”

“‘Cause, and lord knows I ain’t no expert here, but I’m pretty sure whoever came up with ‘And the kise of fair Kytte, all flaxen strands/ Still yet deaved to the song of the sea/ That calls all men of Seunemi sands’, Austin…”

“Yes, Mr Taubmann…”

“…didn’t intend to have an UH! in there at any point. I’d go so far as to suggest that that there’s never been an UH! in any national anthem at any major sporting event ever. Except possibly the Holy Empire during the Ug-Ug era.”

“The uh! was a step too far, sir.”

“Good lad. But Costin, lad?”

“Yeah?”

“You can keep the beatboxing.”

***

Sam had known flatter dressing rooms in the days and hours following what was undeniably a ‘good point’, and even victories could sometimes prove… that word… fancy word… like a bent penis… whatever. That. Pyrenees. But the Seunem camp was right up there, in terms of sheer shortfall of oomph.

That part of the squad sat morosely in front of the whiteboard listened as Taubmann, the gaffer’s right-hand man Maxim, and Bogoslav Toysoldier – who, technically speaking, wasn’t contracted to offer coaching advice to anyone except FK Trunca’s defenders, but who had been roped in with the prospect of a cricket score against the Brendinians, or whatever they were, very much on the horizon – talked the assorted amateurs and semi-professionals through some simple moves. Thomas Merrytent and Paschal himself took a back seat, as he always did, watching proceedings and casting dark, deliberating eyes around the room.

“Now look, see, obviously the Brendinoans have all that Market Cup experience, playing together as a unit, so they’re going to be a lot more, y’know, taught…”

The squad waited patiently for a while.

“Uhm… Mr Taubmann?”

“Eh? Yeah?”

“You just said ‘taught’ and then went all glazed and didn’t say anything.”

“Oh. Roight you are, Sten lad,” Taubmann agreed, pulling himself together. “Thing is, though, roight, I ain’t convinced about their central defensive pairing, okay, Fleming and Johnston? Good players individually, particularly the lad Fleming, the captain, but they both defend really deep. Now I reckon if we can get at ‘em, move through the centre, we can catch ‘em unawares early doors, ‘cause they’ll be expecting us to hit ‘em from the flanks. Tony, you’re going t’have to cut inside onto your right foot, I know it’s not your strongest but yer man Walsh’ll have trouble dealing with it…”

Sam allowed his mind to wander slightly. It was a pipe dream, at the end of the day. The draw with Thatius had been a good performance, in its own way. On another day, a team like Seunem would have been proud of it. An early lead – thanks largely bit of a major cock-up from Petzschner, granted, who Diego for all his myriad flaws had given a torrid time all afternoon with his pace – and a backs-to-the-wall performance thereafter that had seen a pretty damned heroic Eirik Passante-Smallbone manage to make a good dozen-or-so saves before O’Brien had lost poor old Bogoslav and slid in the equaliser. It had been a defensive display to hang your hat on.

But then the Republic of Brendino the Third had gone and brushed aside the Thatians, and any residual up-ness in the camp instantly dwindled. Not that there’d been much to start with.

“…ven see the bloody point…”

Sam didn’t catch who’d said it, but he’d heard it a dozen-or-more times over the past few days. Taubmann, the only member of the travelling party, Mister Thomas aside, who seemed to be remotely enjoying his time in Qazox, tried once again to placate his grumbling charges.

“Look mate, I know you’d’ve expected a slightly more vuhsiffyrus support that you got out there…”

“There wasn’t a single supporter! Not one! Thousands of Qazoxians, thousands of Thatians, not a single Seunemi! Does this fecking country even exist!?”

“Anthony, child, pray peacefulness. I have elucidated the circumstances in which we find ourselves as precisely as seems able. Our land is rich, Mr Tony, and our people are rich. In spirit… but alas not in commodities of the body, hm. The kiser, in the fiscal phraseology of this wider world, is soft. Travel is no easy chance for most, I do trepidate to admit.”

“Oh, for pity’s sake,” came another groan, and Sam was far from surprised to see it emanating from Harding Steavan-hall and Brown. “Put a sock in it, Tommy. There’s a thousand and one reasons why the only Seunemis over here are us… and even that’s pushing it,” he added, darkly, “And I don’t reckon the ‘softness’ of the black kiser is one of them. Stop talking in riddles you old duffer, an–”

“Out!” spat another member of the squad suddenly, and Sam was rather more surprised to discover it was him. “Get out, go and run round the pitch or something.”

“Sorry, who died and made you b–”

“Armband. Counts for something where I come from, don’t know about you. Whatever grievances you have, Harding, no-one talks to the manager like that. Out. Skedaddle,” he added, cheerily, attempting to lighten the mood ever so slightly. He could feel the eyes of the squad all on him, and very few were giving off happy rays.

But how can he just sit there and take it? Sam asked himself, eyes turned away from the slouching form of Harding and the rest of the group alike and securely fixed instead on the manager. Fabio Mannasuch wouldn’t’ve put up with that kind of treatment, not in a million years. Or Espinoza. They wouldn’t just fold their legs and smile a wan little smile. But he’s not Asdrubal Espinoza, is he? Why was I expecting any different?

Because you were impressed, his traitorous mind pointed out, Weren’t you, though? You thought this weird, forgetful little man with a dumb turn of phrase was going to be something special, didn’t you? You wouldn’t even have come on this little trip if some smart young guy in a smart suit had visited you at home. And you’ve read too many stories. He’s not a proper manager, he’s not some old sage. He probably wasn’t even a player. He’s just some minor official the Seunemi Football Association dredged up because they thought he looked and sounded all sort-of wise and mysterious. Granted, he’s still a bit otherworldly and stuff, but… Well, everything feels like that in C&M at the moment.

God… What am I even doing here?

It all flashed past in an instant. The striker opened his mouth to speak, but Thomas was already waving a silencing hand.

“Your fealty does you credit, hmm. No doubt exists that I may trust you all as such. Even dear Mr Harding, though a-times his teeth pawn his thoughts for pickles. Even if you cannot honour the folk of our country, children, do so each other. Do so the flag.”

“Nuestra bandera se parece a un pene…”

“Diego, child, it shames me so that this certain variant of the Spanian tongue has thus fa–”

“Our flag looks like a cock,” Amy translated evenly.

“Hm, hm. There are as yet those among our kind who lend worship to the reproductive rite, are there not? Mayhap’st should we learn from their simple ways? Or…” Thomas sighed, “Fight for the honour of your family name.”

“I’ve been fighting thanks to my family name since I was knee high to a cricket,” Sten Smackfish and Stuffcoat muttered, eliciting a handful of guffaws.

“I shouldn’t think there’s ever been much honour in the Stuffcoat name, Stenners,” the Mytanar teenager Tutain Germain and Bohan laughed, “From what my father tells me, you’re practically sellers of liquid bacteria, it’s a wonde–”

“That will do us quite nicely, Mister Tutain,” Thomas said shortly, the first time Sam had heard the self-styled manager come anywhere close to losing his temper. “In any soul’s reckoning, the Smackfish clan is elsecase a fine lineage…” At this, Thomas appeared to Sam to wince slightly, and trailed off. “But let us not carry such penny concerns unto this time, this place… Mister Kyle? You were hilluminating us of your grand plot, I do think…”

***

“And yourself, Mister Samson? The strange usage has yet to reach our shores, but you would name it ‘brooding’, I do think.”

Sam tried not to jump, and instead kept his back to the manager as he packed his things ready for the trip to New Bruxen.

“Just a little tense. I think everyone is, it’s all these damned bye days.”

“If you are experiencing difficulties with your role in proceedings, dear child, do let it be known…”

Sam grimaced. He’d kept it to himself during team meetings for fear of defying the manager in front of a squad already increasingly febrile with discontent, and had earlier thought better of raising the matter with Amy. Having put her job back in C&M on hold to come out here, largely in the hope of catching some scout or other’s eye, she was less than chuffed to find herself benched in favour of the elder of the Samder-and-Tumblers brothers. His own worries paled in comparison, even if he had to admit that the taciturn Chenkoryan-based full-back was clearly the better player; less tactically aware, certainly, but comfortably quicker in mind and body.

Here though; alone? What did he have to lose?

“I just had to drop deep a hell of a lot more than I’d want to, just to get the occasional touch. I can’t see it be any different if we keep playing this way, either. I’m not a fox-in-the-box or anything, neither’s Diego, we can’t just hang about waiting for the odd cross from wide. We need better service, and with Thome and Costin barely moving beyond the half-way line if they can help it… Frankly, I’d do better on my own up front, if there was someone tucked in behind, Andrion or that Ezechias kid, even.”

“In essence, you desire that the team was built to orbit yourself?”

“Uh… Yeah. If you like. Look, I’m not used to this state of affairs, or anything, but right now I’m comfortably the best player you’ve got. We should be playing to my strengths. You did make me captain,” he added, reproachfully.

“If you are finding this dual responsibility as leader and greatest weapon too onerous…”

“No! I’m not,” insisted Sam, who knew perfectly well he was. “I just…”

“And behold, one came and said unto him – ‘Good master, what thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?’ And… I forget.” Thomas shut his eyes slightly, and licked his lips in thought. “Kill not, yes, steal not, bear not false witness, and such forth. And the young man said unto him – ‘I have observed all these… thingies, yes, hm, from my youth, what lack I yet?’ And Jesus, Mister Samson, though salted be my memory, said unto him – ‘If thou wilt be perfect slime, sell that thou hast and give it to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven, and come and follow me’. And when the young man heard that saying he went away mourning, for he had great possessions. Pausing on it now, I never did quite understand about the slime, but the Lord’s word, alas, is prone to… But you were saying, dear chi–”

“I didn’t say anything,” Sam snapped. “ But I’ve got my ipod somewhere here if you want me to go and chuck it at the poor boys. What about my watch? Will that be enough for you to change formation?”

“You misunderstand me,” Thomas said mildly. “You have not born false witness, I trust, and loved your neighbour as yourself, though may need to work a little further on honouring thy father and thy mother… You have been the model man, thus far. But I need you to do this, Mister Samson. I need you to follow my instruction, however much it may pain you. Trust me, my friend. If not yet eternal life, alas, we can yet secure great worldly goods. Trophies, and such. Though I appreciate that the parallels of the parable become strained indeed at that juncture… Hm.” Thomas appeared to reach a decision. “Now pack! Pack, dear child. Our carriage awaits!”

Sam glanced at his watch, in the slight daze that most of the squad seemed to enter into whenever the manager was talking. “We’ve got another couple of hours, haven’t we, I tho–”

“Your medicines. The apothecary has a heavy journe of toil, we should not make him linger merely for us.”

“More jabs?”

“A new city, new dangers. I would not wish any of you to be laid low,” Thomas said simply. And with that, he turned and left the room muttering, seemingly half to himself, “And New Bruxen can be hot, can it not? I shall ensure Mister Julian brings many water bottles. The Stuffcoats shall have yet their moment beneath the sun, I do think. Hm.”

Sam felt that this was insufficiently enigmatic, all things considered, but opted to say nothing.

[Carmadin]

Guh Thi Nurng leaned back in his seat. The team was in good spirits. If they could be this happy after a 0-0 draw, he could not imagine what the atmosphere on the bus would be like after a big Carmadin victory. Everyone was happy. Kihxaw Jahp was the happiest. He had gotten his second shutout in 2 games in this tournament (and, they were driving on a paved road). The second happiest was either Guh Thi or Dowv Daz. Guh Thi was happy because he had stuffed a Zhevlasso-Zhevlasso scoring oppourtunity in the 79th minute, and it could be said that he saved the game. Dowv Daz was happy for 2 reasons. Number one, he had Carmadin's only goal so far in the tournament, and number 2, he wasnt being puked on by Kihxaw. The rest of the team just sat there smiling. You can't describe the feeling of knowing you're on top of your group in one of the most prestigious tournaments in the world. It just feels so amazing. And, as the team rode the bus into the hotel parking lot, packed with reporters expecting to see them dejected because they hadnt won, they came off grinning broadly, cheerfully answering questions, and performing antics for the cameras. Ah, life was good.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Carmadin on top of Club Group with tie against Zhevlasso-zhevlasso

Expecting to see the team depressed after a tough 0-0 draw yesterday, our reporters found them happier than when they won their first match. Kihxaw Jahp explained "it just feels so amazing. After one match, it was just the winners and the losers. Now, we just feel on top of the world. We will keep this momentum into the next match, im sure." He then left us, performing a series of quite astonishing gymnastics as he went. Dowv Daz commanderred the microphone, saying "Hey alla yous! Carmadin gonna win this thing! Ita time! Ita our time! Wegonnawinnnnn!", before him and his teammates collapsed with laughter at his outrageous accent. Morale for the team is very high, and we are confident their next match will be a victory.
GO CARMADIN!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Match Report: Carmadin 0-0 Zhevlasso

A very exciting match today ended tied at nil. Kihxaw Jahp recorded his second shutout of the tournament, and Guh Thi Nurng had a beautifal play in the 79th minute. With great passing, Zhevlasso advanced the ball up into Carmadin's goal box. It would hav been all over if Nurng had not kept his head and slid, blocking the ball with his stomach and allowing Kihxaw Jahp to pick it up and clear it, thus ending the threat. Carmadin sits atop their group with a 1-1-0 record.

GO CARMADIN!!

[Mangolana]

RP Cut-off for MD4

Ordonez Group, Played at Republic Stadium
Camwood 1-0 Tal Vararr
Trimasia 0-2 Mapletish

Ordonez Standings

   Team           P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Mapletish      3 3 0 0  5  1 +4  9
 2 Camwood        3 2 0 1  4  2 +2  6
 3 Arcatea        3 1 1 1  5  5 +0  4
 4 Gyatso-kai     2 1 0 1  5  4 +1  3 
 5 Tal Vararr     3 0 1 2  3  6 -3  1
 6 Trimasia       2 0 0 2  0  4 -4  0


Montgomery Group, Played at Mangolanites Stadium
The Vuhifellian States 1-2 Wadomia
New Gaelicia 1-1 Eggy216
Tryienne 0-1 Nicole Scherzinger

Montgomery Standings

   Team                       P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Nicole Scherzinger         4 4 0 0  9  2 +7 12
 2 Wadomia                    3 2 1 0  3  1 +2  7
 3 Tryienne                   3 1 1 1  2  2 +0  4
 4 Osesnsasandaes             3 1 1 1  2  2 +0  4
 5 New Gaelicia               3 0 2 1  2  4 -2  2
 6 Eggy216                    4 0 2 2  2  4 -2  2
 7 The Vuhifellian States     4 0 1 3  3  8 -5  1

Shogun Group, Played at Citizens Payed Stadium
Iphmopf 1-0 Greater Coventry
Freezingland 1-1 Lonaga

Shogun Standings

   Team                     P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Iphmopf                  3 3 0 0  6  2  +4  9
 2 Braxil                   3 1 2 0  3  1  +2  5
 3 Greater Coventry         3 1 1 1  2  2  +0  4
 4 Freezingland             2 0 1 1  3  4  -1  1
 5 Lonaga                   3 0 1 2  1  5  -4  1
 6 The Peterwood Estate     2 0 1 1  0  1  -1  1

Jimenez Group, Played at Mangolana City Stadium
Ohio Island 1-1 Hippostania
The Golden Tamarind 3-0 Cygning
Hladio Huggers 0-2 Miley World

Jimenez Standings

   Team                    P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 The Golden Tamarind     3 3 0 0  6  0  +6  9
 2 Miley World             4 2 1 1  3  2  +1  7
 3 Rouge Pioneers          3 1 2 0  5  4  +1  5
 4 Cygning                 4 1 2 1  9 11  -2  5
 5 Hladio Huggers          3 1 0 2  2  4  -2  3
 6 Ohio Island             4 0 2 2  2  5  -3  2
 7 Hippostania             3 0 1 2  6  8  -2  1

[Qazox]

I had a weird grocery shopping list today:

Radishes
Plantains
Cabbage
Unsweet chocolate
Tilapia
Oilves
French fries
Fried chicken

Scores up shortly folks.

[Qazox]

Club Group
Thatius 2–1 Zoobians
Seunem 3–1 Brendino the 3rd
Byes: Carmadin and Zhevalsso-zhevalsso

Club Group              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Seunem                  2   1  1  0    4   2  +2    4
2 Carmadin                2   1  1  0    1   0  +1    4
3 Zhevalsso-zhevalsso     3   1  1  1    3   3   0    4
4 Thatius                 3   1  1  1    3   5  −2    4
5 Zoobians                3   1  0  2    4   4   0    3
6 Brendino the 3rd        3   1  0  2    4   5  −1    3

Diamond Group
Dixie Provinces 0–1 Skalholt
The Kytler Peninsulae 0–2 Howdeellow
Côte de Platine 0–0 Triimoria
Bye: Yiland

Diamond Group           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Howdeellow              4   1  3  0    4   2  +2    6
2 The Kytler Peninsulae   3   2  0  1    6   4  +2    6
3 Triimoria               4   1  2  1    5   5   0    5
4 Yiland                  3   1  1  1    1   2  −1    4
5 Côte de Platine         3   1  1  1    2   2   0    4
6 Skalholt                3   1  1  1    1   1   0    4
7 Dixie Provinces         4   0  2  2    3   6  −3    2

Heart Group
Lymantatia 2–0 Puttania
Ipeland 7–1 Ponoka
Chuckio 0–0 Garon-Averia
Bye: Krumbia

Heart Group             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Krumbia                 3   2  0  1    4   3  +1    6
2 Garon-Averia            4   1  2  1    3   2  +1    5
3 Chuckio                 3   1  2  0    2   1  +1    5
4 Lymantatia              4   1  2  1    5   5   0    5
5 Ipeland                 3   1  1  1    7   2  +5    4
6 Puttania                3   1  1  1    2   3  −1    4
7 Ponoka                  4   0  2  2    5  12  −7    2

Spade Group
Blutrieger 0–0 Beldonia
Deep Freid Bacon 1–0 Kazerjan
Byes: Megadia and Euskirribakondara

Spade Group             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Euskirribakondara       3   2  1  0    4   1  +3    7
2 Blutrieger              3   1  2  0    3   0  +3    5
3 Deep Freid Bacon        2   1  0  1    1   3  −2    3
4 Megadia                 2   0  2  0    4   4   0    2
5 Beldonia                3   0  2  1    3   4  −1    2
6 Kazerjan                3   0  1  2    0   3  −3    1

[Mapletish]

Junio Smash 2 past Trimasia

Outstanding preformance sees Mapletish go top of Ordonez Group with 3 straight wins

Mapletish stunned Trimasia's fans with a 2-0 win over the bottom of table team,as Trimasia hold Mapletish to a fine 0-0 deadlock at halftime.Andre Rondo threw a valubale chance away in the 15th minute of the game.Serago Rims was on the move from the left flank nutmegging defenders from Trimasia and cutting into the defence line stunning off position midfielders and defenders in which he crossed the ball to Andre Rondo who sees his shot go wide.After controlling the play and getting the ball moving to the opponent's half,Alex Timi tries a lucky long pass to Henry Delas who finds the keeper off position and shoot,but he sees his chance hit the bar and go out of play.Craig Thomas linked up another chance in the 40th minute when he attmepts a halfway line shot that lands into the penalty box finding Steven Johnson who took a first time shot but he his shot go wide.And there it goes the half-time whistle.
Mapletish 0 Termasia 0

Mapletish started the second-half well,with great link-up from Serago Rims and John Davis who tried to create a hole in the middle of the pitch where Junio or Thomas would be free.They succeed in tricking Termasia to throw their players in front and Davis attempted a long cross to Junio in the 50th minute who sprint down to the edge of the penalty box where he made a shot on target in which he scores putting his name on the scoresheet and giving Mapletish a 1-0 lead.Junio linked up another chance from a long goalkick from Travis Hard and he dash to the spot beating one of the Trimasia player on the ball and he attempted a long shot from there in which he sees his chance go wide and the time was the 69th minute into the game.Mapletish did not give up and their determination was rewarded with a beautiful goal.Junio got the ball on from his team's half and he passes it on to Thomas who controlled the ball well and sprinted into the penalty area with the ball,he pushes on a low cross and Junio got a first time shot and he scores.In the 87th minute,Junio was replaced by Sonny Oakes who made his first appearance in the BoF44.Oakes worked well with Thomas and made a final link up play but Steven Johnson's weak shot wasted the chance with the scoreline still set at 2-0.
Mapletish 2 Trimasia 0

[Mapletish]

Patterson's Looking Forward for Match against Tal Vararr after the bye-day;Press Conference Edition

Patterson to lead Mapletish to a fourth straight win

After winning three straight games in the Ordonez group,Patterson looks forward to improve on the team's performance after a 2-0 win over Trimasia.
"The players did well during our victory against Trimasia but I still believe there are improvements to be made.Let's say the near miss by (Steven)Johnson and the
"bar" attempt by (Sonny) Oakes,it was obvious that it would be a goal from this two chances,but it was off target in which I was a bit disappointed but nonetheless of that,I am quite pleased with the match performance.Aganist Tal Vararr after the bye-day,I have decided to use the tempo advantage that we have gained over the 3 matches and used it onto Tal Vararr which appears to be a bit off form only managing 1 point from 3 games with a told record of 2 losses and a draw.I am not looking down on them actually and I am sure my team is not gona be too complacent and we would be able to overcome them by playing our usual game.

Reporter - Is it true that Junio will start on the bench against Tal Vararr and Oakes would be coming up for him?

- Well,it is true that Junio will be starting on the bench as requested by himself as he said that he needs a bit of rest.For me,Oakes is capable of scoring and assisting and I have no problems with that and Junio will take over his job at half-time.

Reporter - Is it true that Tal Vararr would be trashed to their bits and it will be their worst game in the BoF?

- You can't actually bomb them like that because we are not that good too.

Reporter - I'm convinced with your answer and there are romours that you are emphasing too much on younger players,anything thing to say about this?
- The reason to foucus on younger players are to give them a chance,a valubale chance for them to perform.More experienced players will be selective choosen to suit the needs to the younger ones.Remember,Sir Strellas Billy always has 5 extra-players on the bench each time Home United plays their match,those are youth players whom are specially handpicked by him after analysing their performance,throughout their youth season and training performance.He will then cut his list from 10 outstanding players to 5.And I'm trying this out.

Reporter - Oh you see Patterson looks confident to secure a win after the bye-day,as it gives his team a one day off.Facing a team with no wins to boot about,it is confirmed that a victory over them will secure an early ticket to the knockout stage.

[Brendino the 3rd]

Loss Put Brendino the 3rd in the Bottom of the Group
After their third game, Brendino the 3rd stands yet again in the bottom of the group standings:

Club Group Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Seunem 2 1 1 0 4 2 +2 4
2 Carmadin 2 1 1 0 1 0 +1 4
3 Zhevalsso-zhevalsso 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
4 Thatius 3 1 1 1 3 5 −2 4
5 Zoobians 3 1 0 2 4 4 0 3
6 Brendino the 3rd 3 1 0 2 4 5 −1 3

The talented team from Seunem took an easy 2-0 lead into the first half after sloppy play by backup keeper Toby Crawford. Crawford only managed to save 4 shots the entire game, letting up three goals. In the post match interview, Coach Keiger said, "We're just waiting for Jayden to get better but for now we need Crawford to get his head in the game and start saving some shots." The only goal for the Ferrets came off a beautiful header from Joseph Pratt, who was assisted by fellow forward Erik-Jan Bouwmans in the 50th minute to bring the score to 2-1 before Seunem scored on a penalty kick after Brendino the 3rd defender Joshua Walsh was given a red card in the 67th minute. Captain William Fleming left before any questions could be asked, but sent reporters this message:

Need to tighten up defense and win nxt game. #disappointed

[Ipeland]

Ipes thrash Ponoka
First football win for Ipes

Fans were dancing on the streets of Rockport last night, as Ipeland won 7-1 against Ponoka. This is Ipeland's first ever international football win. Kevin Texan scored a hat-trick and Gavin Pettarson scored two goals to help Ipeland to victory.

Highlights
0:01 Ponoka kick off
3:40 Ponoka penalty. Crong Gerrad recives a yellow card for a bad tackle in the box
3:55 Jakub Vesely scores the penalty
18:43 Kevin Texan scores for Ipeland
20:21 Kevin Texan scores again
24:07 Richard Sakai scores the third for the Ipes
36:41 Kevin Texan header hits the bar
40:26 Gavin Pettarson runs past 5 defenders and slots it neatly into the bottom corner
45:00 2 minutes extra time
47:00 Half time

Half time score
Ipeland 4-1 Ponoka
Vesely '3
Texan '18 '20
Sakai '24
Pettarson '40

45:01 Ipeland kick off second half
51:03 Texan scores
59:23 Gavin Pettarson shot rebounds off post, deflects off Kiefer Sutherland Wallace and goes in
72:56 Lewis replaces Thed Fresting
86:09 Gavin Pettarson scores
90:00 1 minute extra time
91:00 Ipeland fans cheers drown out final whistle

Full time score
Ipeland 7-1 Ponoka
Vesely '3
Texan '18 '20 '51
Sakai '24
Pettarson '40 '86
Wallace '59

[Nicole Scherzinger]

Sophia Heimler sat comfortably in her chair, carefully reading the day's newspaper. On the front page gave the local Mangolanan headlines and a few paragraphs on the Baptism of Fire and the main events of the day. She read on, sipping her tea lightly then turned the page to the actual Sports section. She smiled when she saw the short article on the Nicole Scherzinger team:

"Yesterday the team from the small nation of Nicole Scherzinger played Tryienne, and won by a score of one to zero. Team MVP went out to Goalie Diana Katheodoris, who managed to block all the attempts on goal by Tryinne's team. In the 43rd minute, however, Right Striker Gisèle Côté, scored the first and only goal of the match, with the help of her teammate, Madison Dervishi. The two set up an impressive combination of passing between the forwards, that enabled Gisèle to have a clear shot and a one versus one against Tryinne's goalie. Knowing that she had defenders coming up behind her, she quickly kicked the ball into the right top corner of the goal. Tryinne's goalie was unable to block the shot, as it was perfectly placed. For the rest of the game, the Lady Bears were able to defend and keep the ball in the midfield. Substitutes were made to make sure that other players had a chance of getting some game time in. One of them, Sophia Heimler, had an amazing slide tackle from one of the Tryinne's strikers, and that sparked a huge momentum change that eventually led to a series of corner kicks. However, twice the Lady Bears were stopped because of a missed goal shot or a penalty."

Sophia put the newspaper down. She glanced happily over to her friend, Brigitte Korhonen.

"I am in the newspaper! Check it out, right here..." Sophia said, pointing to the exact spot on the page.

Brigitte, clearly intrigued, took the paper from her and started reading.

'Awesome! Too bad they didn't mention me, because I was in for a bit as well. You remember throw-in I had after half-time? That was really good, but it's a shame they never mention those."

"Yeah, I know." replied Sophia. "They only have a limited space with newspapers, so it's not like they'll spell out all the details. Should we check the internet and see what the announcers had to say during that play? I'm sure you'll get some gratification for hearing the praise they had for your moment in the spotlight. What's the website? www.nicolenation.gov? Something like that, try it."

Brigitte goes over to the computer, types in the address and watches the video of yesterday's match.
"Yes, here it is!" she said, after scrolling to the 47-minute mark.

"And here comes Korhonen after who is it, Joey Campell of Tryienne? And Campell kicks the ball out of bounds. Korhonen quickly takes it and wow! That was an amazing throw! How many feet did you think she threw it? And there goes Dubois, who passes it to Polgov...."

"Yeah that was not that exciting as I thought it was. More fun on the field."

"Oh well," said Sophia. "Let's go find some magazines to read. I don't know why, but I'm having a reading obsession right now."

[Miley World]

Miley World Daily Mail

Miley World won 2-0 against Hladio Huggers!

Miley World played much better today aginst Hladio Huggers, though the Huggers aren't as good as Tamarind, who already has their own domestic league.

Miley World started strong and at the 6th minute Miley World is awarded a corner. Alexandre Viard kicks the ball onto the field. Connor Downing receives the ball on his chest and he kicks it. The Huggers goalie makes the save but he can't control the ball. Ross Wallace kicks the ball and he scores, 1-0 for Miley World! At the 31st minute, Miley World are attacking again when Ashley Johnstone pass to Grégory Dedieu, he kicks the ball... too far right. It's still 1-0. At the 42nd minute an Unknown Huggers Player trips Alexandre Viard. He gets a yellow card and Miley World is awarded a free kick, but the ball couldn't pass the wall. Ross Wallace takes the ball and pass the ball backwards to Alex. Alex passes to Alexandre Viard. Viard pass to Connor Downing, he kicks the ball and he scores! 2-0 for Miley World.

At the 56th minute Hladio Huggers are attacking and Chris Robinson trip an Huggers player, he gets a yellow card. Huggers are awarded a penalty shot. He kicks the ball.. too far left. At the 75th minute Miley World keeps attacking when Connor Downing pass the ball to Grégory Dedieu, he kicks the ball but the goalie makes a beautifull save to prevent Miley World to take a 3-0 lead. The score is still 2-0. At the end of the game, the Hladio Huggers captain, an Unknown Player, tried to give a hug to the referree but the referree didn't want to be hugged and he gave a yellow card to the captain for trying to hug him.

Boxscore:

6' Ross Wallace (Miley World) assisted by Connor Downing
43' Connor Downing (Miley World) assisted by Alexandre Viard

Yellow cards:

42' Unknown Hladio Huggers Player
56' Chris Robinson (Miley World)
90'+ Hladio Huggers' Captain

I think we played enough games to make some predictions. The Golden Tamarind, Miley World and Rouge Pioneers should advance to the next round. Miley World will finish either 2nd or 3rd.

Miley Worlds leaders after 4 games:

Goals:
Grégory Dedieu: 1
Ross Wallace: 1
Connor Downing: 1

Assists:
Connor Downing: 2
Alexandre Viard: 1

Yellow cards:
Jorge Garcia: 1
Ross Wallace: 1
Alex: 1
Zezinho: 1
Chris Robinson: 1

Red cards:
None

Saves:
Undisclosed

[Iphmopf]

Iphmopf 1-0 Greater Coventry

Iphmopf continued their unbeaten run after a penalty from David Johnston.

The match was played at a boring tempo from the outset, with the first chance coming to Iphmopf after 12 minutes, after Tom Simms raced into the area, but was denied by a good stop from the goalkeeper. From the resulting corner, Rich Frederick showed an uncharacteristically good eye for goal with an ambitious shot, which flew just inches wide of the post.

With half time fast approaching, Greater Coventry bore down on Tom Overton's goal, and would have gone ahead were it not for a brilliant tackle from the huge Lucas Forelan. The second half brought with it a change in attack, as Grange Stevenson came on for Stuart Holland, and made his mark by racing past two defenders, before being hacked to the ground by the Greater Coventry goalkeeper, who was shown a straight red card.

David Johnston coolly converted the resulting spot kick, and Iphmopf maintained the ball in the midfield for the remainder of the match.

[Seunem]

“Now, y’see, that’s what yous can do if you put your minds to it! Kept your heads up, kept your concentration right to the last. The Brendans didn’t know what hit ‘em! Proud of you lot! And Andrion?”

“Yessir, Mr Taubmann?”

“Fine work from you lot on the bench, really promising. If I had to be ultra critical, I might suggest all that wob-wob-wobbing got a little tired by verse ten, but it’s okay, we’re still learnin’. Maybe throw a bass drop in around verse eleven, invest in a percussion instrument or two. What I say is, lads, you were spot on earlier. If we’re going t’have the worlds’ only nine-minute dubstep national anthem, we might as well go the whole bloody hog.”

***

“‘Crawford is Hero to Zero After First-Half Meltdown’”

Tutain narrowed his eyes. “You look pleased with that. Have I missed a pun, somewhere? I’ve missed a pun, haven’t I?”

“Poor sod wears nought on his back, toot. S’okay though, not as though you ever got close enough to him to notice!”

“And whose fault was that, Smackfish? I’d’ve skinned Townsend half a dozen times if I didn’t keep having to drop back to help you out of a pickle!”

“And a very fine job of it you did too,” the Pasargan right-back said icily. “Did Gabriaux actually give you his shirt in the end; you couldn’t keep your hands off it all afternoon?”

“Not as eagerly as he gave you the run-around, Stenners. And did you not think about, maybe, I don’t know, a bit of an avant-garde suggestion this, but maybe crossing the half-way line, at all? He was waiting to be run at, bugger couldn’t defend to save his life!”

“No wonder you were getting along to well, then. Did you manage to get his phone number during all that wrestling?”

“‘Fortun Favours the Bold’,” Tony Finnegan interjected mildly. The remaining Seunemi stragglers left in the victorious home dressing room glanced nervously at each other.

“You alright, Tone? Sure you shouldn’t’ve got yourself checked out, that clogger of a right-back brought you down pretty damn heavily for the pen.”

“No,” said Tony, in patient tones, “‘Cause, now, that Gabriaux fella’s first name was Fortun, roigh’? And, see, yeh could’ve made hay if you’d come forward, an’… Yeah, alroigh’, I’ll go an’ see Julian. I did see quite a few stars, now you come t’mention it.”

“Not a post-playing career as a sub-editor, our Tony,” Amy said cheerfully as she emerged with the squad’s other female players from their Special Corner. She poked a still seated Sam in the shoulder. “Must make a nice change for you, though. Not having any media attention, at least not from back home. No armchair expert scoring your performance, no-one analysing your every move? Having to supply your own headlines. Must be a bit of a novelty. Sam? Oi, Mister Two-Goals-in-Two-Games!”

“One of them was a penalty. Hardly counts…”

“Sorry, I’ll just go back into the spec-cor, I think I must’ve passed through a space/time corridor into a world where we didn’t just win.”

“Oh shush, I’ve just got stuff on my mind…”

“Well don’t have!” Amy hissed at him, as the squad’s concentration shifted momentarily back to Tutain and Sten’s friendly battle for right-wing supremacy. “Try and look like you’re just a little bit pleased.”

“I am!”

“You’re not exactly giving off over-the-moon vibes. They’ll pick up on it if you’re not careful, and you’re only just starting to get them on side as well…”

“Yes, thank you dear, I’ll bear it in mind.”

“Oi, you two!” Sten Smackfish and Stuffcoat called out, taking a break from rubbing his knuckles into Tutain Germain and Bohan’s scalp, “Shall we all just offski and leave you two to it?”

“Oh, if you wouldn’t mind, sweetness” Amy deadpanned, “We’re planning a quick shag in the showers.”

Thirty seconds later, with the squad’s laughter retreating off into the distance, Amy pushed the Seunemi captain along the bench into a fug of Lynx Africa and took a tentative seat alongside him.

“They were all at each other’s throats yesterday,” she grinned after a while, “And yours. Mezzin’ what a win can do, innit?”

“Doesn’t really change anything, though. They were two-nil down after fifteen minutes, it hardly rates as the greatest victory of all time.”

“Our greatest victory of all time, though.”

“True. Doesn’t mean much in the greater scheme of things, though. They were talking about going on and winning the bloody thing back there!”

“And you were egging them on!”

“It’s my job! They meant it, some of ‘em. A terrible stand-in goalkeeper and admittedly well-taken penalty do not a swallow make, and all that. Doesn’t mean this whole exercise is any less pointless. Doesn’t mean we’re still not crap.”

“Yeah, I know. But people are just like that, Sam. If a thirty-two year-old computer technician who still leaves at home with his mum manages to con a girl into going out with him the once, he might be overjoyed but it doesn’t make him any less of a loser.”

“There speaks the slightly apropos-of-nothing voice of experience.”

“My brother Richard,” Amy sighed, with feeling. “Oh, there’ll be tears. Or, just because Mr Thomas sticks with the same starting eleven against your wishes, and we win three-one, doesn’t mean he was right to. Might’ve just been good luck.”

“Are you circling vaguely towards a point here?”

“Oh, don’t pay any attention to me, mate, I actually got on the pitch for ten minutes, ten international minutes, even if it was for a country I’m still not on hundred percent sure isn’t made up. I’m buzzin’. And you’re not, which bothers me. So spill, I know it’s not the game that’s left you like this. You haven’t been yourself all week.”

“You’ve only known me, what, eight days? Statistically, this is comfortably more likely to be ‘myself’.”

“Then I shall savour that one day close to my bosom, always. And you try and savour this one, incongruous, never-to-be-repeated win in a festival of unremitting mediocrity. Or failing that you could just tell me what’s really the matter, nespa?”

“You’re evil, you are,” Sam groaned. “Right, look, it’s probably nothing, bound to be, but… What d’you know about Verbosita?”

Amy frowned. “Uh… Nothing, very much. One of them legal-but-frowned-upon, performance-enhancing-drugs, innit? Wasn’t there something about it on Disclosure the other week? Summat to do to with translucent sheep, or… I dunno. I wasn’t really paying attention.”

“It had… side effects, I know that, if it wasn’t administered properly. I think we used to use it, back in ye olden days, but no-one talked about it very much.”

“Ooh, there’s a surprise. There’s no point asking me, anyway, we were all far too impoverished down in the lower leagues to fiddle about with that sort of crap. You’re the international globestrotter. So what, you think… what?”

“I don’t know what I think. I just know we played a helluva lot better in that game, and frankly against Thatius an’ all, than a bunch of amateurs an–”

“No-marks.”

“I was going t’say semi-pros but, yeah, if the boot fits… And you’ve just seen everyone, come on! They’re all talking a hundred miles an hour, full of the joys of spring.”

“They’re just happy, Sam. I know this is small beer to you, you’ve been in Champions’ Cup finals, you’ve dined at the top table. The others might not be convinced about playing under the Seunem banner yet, but this is still the highlight of half of their careers. And it actually seems to be going quite well, shockingly enough.”

“And the jabs, more to the point. You can’t look at me and tell me that’s not a bit fishy. A new set of inoculations for every new city? Do me a favour. No… ‘Mister’ Thomas isn’t giving us the full story here, I’m bloody sure of that. I know when I’m being lied to.”

“I guess you would,” Amy said coldly, but the tone was lost on Sam, lost in his thoughts. She sighed, and bent down to hoik one of Eirik’s charm necklaces from under the bench. “Don’t know much about that part of… up there,” she mused, largely to herself, “But either our Eirik’s really gone native or he’s trying way too har… Oh. Hola.”

Sam glanced up as Thome Devero clattered into the dressing room, and clocked the Candelariasian pair with panic etched on his strange, puffed-out, face.

“Uh… Hi. Uhm. Just… Fetching a… thing.”

“Good-o. Everyone needs a thing.”

They watched politely as Thome fished under a bench for his discarded bag, nod to them both, and hurry off out. Amy sighed once more.

“Gawd, you’ve got me all paranoid now…”

They followed soon after, trainers squeaking down the corridors of the snappily named New Bruxen Hotel and Casino Field as they chased after Devero and the sound of twenty gruff voices raised in a joyous rendition of what, for want of any direct evidence to the contrary, the squad were forced to think of as the Seunemi national anthem.

“…STAN HARRIED EAST TO THE BOILING STRAND! TWENTY KISSERS T’ CLUTCH AND DELHI-BOUND; FAR FRA’ THEHEAPO’HISSWEET AND SEEEUNAAAAAAAAAMY SAAAAND! IN COVE’S BELLY DEA–”

“They still can’t get verse five to scan quite right, can they?” Sam smiled as they caught up with the Kytlerian. “You’re right though, Amy. Bonkers though it be, it’s good to finally see some togetherness…”

“‘Madness is rare in individuals, but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule’. Nietzsche,” Thome added helpfully, as he boarded the team coach.

Sam and Amy lingered slightly, and shared raised eyebrows. “You know what, for years I’d got it into my head that Seunem was full of elves, or something, you know…”

“Oh, me too. Well, this last year, anyway. There had to be a reason why mum and dad and gran just wouldn’t talk about ‘home’. And now we know what we know, maybe that was a government edict. You can stay in the Candelarias, as long as you don’t talk to anyone, even your kids, about what really goes on in Seunem. Could be all sorts of weird crap. Elves. Magic. Robotic ducks. Hedgehogs.”

“Could be, aye,” Sam nodded. “Equally… Maybe it’s just full of Thome Deveros. I’m pretty sure my parents would’ve wanted to keep that from me.”

“He’s a weird little sort, isn’t he? D’you suppose he’s like Ezechias? His dad was a Seunemi missionary in the Branta islands, wasn’t he?”

“Could be. Doesn’t play like Ezechias, though. He’d shatter your kneecap soon as look at you, then goes and quotes Nietzsche at you or attempts an in-depth discussion of the state of Kytlerian politics.”

“No-one plays quite like Ezechias though, to be fair,” Amy grinned. Which was true, undeniably. The teenager, to whom the very idea even of a football club was an exotic, foreign concept, played rather like a young antelope who was yet to work out quite where his legs were, or even exactly what they were for. The ten men of Brendino the Third hadn’t had a clue what to make of him.

He also had a very fine dialect and accent, clearly influenced by Saugeais radio broadcasts. But you shan’t see any of that here, because dialects are hard, Eleanor, and I’m a tad under the weather. Also, I’m buggered if I’m juggling more than half a dozen major characters until qualifying. Why do tournaments have to have such massive squads, anyway? Suspensions? Injuries? Pah, bunch of jessies.

The Candelariasians, clearly eager to hurry the slightly drowsy narrator of the universe along a tad, with the kick-off in Montenegro only five minutes away, boarded the coach, put their troubles to one side, and settled down behind Tutain as he nestled sleepily into his window corner.

“…ice t’be back home, though,” the inexperienced winger sighed, “Back in me own bed… a nice chunk of hot lesbian, all smeared in jam…”

The several members of the squad with, it appeared to Sam, a greater than average appreciation for Seunemi culture sighed wistfully.

“¿Que?” Diego ventured, taking the plunge.

“Oh, well it’s a kind o–”

Sitting opposite him, Tony Finnegan raised a hand to silence the Mytanar. “Nope. That’s one insight into my ancestral homeland – no sniggering over there, it is – I don’t need. Don’t spoil me image for the journey.” He leant back into his seat. “Garçon! Onward to SaxerVilla!”

“Woo, yeah! Gooooooo… Cart Horses!”

The squad sat in an awkward silence as the coach pulled away.

“Yeah… Still doesn’t really work, does it?” Kiena Sixpence sighed.

“Could be worse. T’other lot were the Ferrets. Only so many names to go round, these days.”

“They could release a load of old ones…”

“Nah, that’s just asking for trouble.”

“Another round of the Devine Liturgy of Winstan Joseph a’ Jent then, chaps? I was thinking maybe a jazz version for Zoobians?” Sten ventured, “A bit of scat during the dirty twelfth?”

He ducked just in time.

“I can’t see why we can’t just sing the twelfth verse as is? George’s mum won’t mind if it’s cultural, surely?”

“I’m on strict instructions from our Hannah, Costin lad,” Taubmann shook his head, “I’ve got a world of ‘urt heading f’r me if he gets into any trouble, haven’t I, Georgey-lad?”

“Wrld’ve’rt, yeah…”

“He’s a sensitive soul, is our George. Ain’t you, Georgey-lad?”

And they sang Child A-Born in Seunemi Sands all the way to SaxerVilla, except for the dirty twelfth, and they even got the fifth verse to scan properly.

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

From the Daily Flash, a downmarket national tabloid. The horrible writing style is theirs.

HOWDEE DO THAT?
Fluke lob beats Kytler boys

The Kytler Peninsulae 0-2 Howdeellow

The Kytlerian soccer team crumbled to a shock 2-0 defeat to Howdeellow - who hadn't won once in three games - after a freak 40-yard shot from a DEFENDER.

Grant Johnson - who only started in the first place because Miguel Lopes tweaked his ankle in the warmup - looped the ball over the head of Kris Joyce in the Kytlerian goal, giving Howdeellow a lead despite being outplayed for the first half-hour.

The startled Kytlerians then conceded ANOTHER goal just three minutes later - and Johnson was involved again.

This time, his long ball was flicked on by the captain Nelinho to Joshua Pimentel, who dribbled around Shaun Duggan before thumping past Joyce.

Even with a two-goal lead, the Howdeellow team continued to attack constantly - leaving huge amounts of space at the back.

And why wouldn't they? Superstitious plonker Recasang Chezlot missed TWO easy chances, while Cameron Upson hit the bar when it looked easier to score.

The defeat means that Howdeellow lead the Diamond Group in the Baptism of Fire - even though they have only ONE victory. The Kytlerians must win their game in hand to avoid the threat of an extra knockout game... or worse.

Meanwhile, on the TV3 Evening News, one of the three main network newscasts in the country...
Audio RP, 3:21, 3.2MiB.

[Euskirribakondara]

Euskirribakondararen Nazionaren Futbola Taldea
Equip National de Balpied d'Euskirribakondara

Draw with Megadia, Euskirribakondara has not lost!

After a long, very long match, the result wasn't changed. The Euskal team finished 0-0 against Megadia. Nevertheless, it leads the points table with 7; and it looks that we'll make it to the next round.

On October the 8th, we'll have our next match against Blutreiger in the Qazian Memorial Stadium. The formation will be the same initial-squad formation; and that'll be the same for October the 9th. There are big hopes on the team!

[The Golden Tamarind]

Tamarindia 3-0 Cygning

Tamarindia were back to their best for the key game against Cygning, one of the unfancied amateur teams in the group who had started surprisingly strongly with 8 goals in their first two games, and were still unbeaten. Hope for the Tamarins sprang from their disappointing draw with Ohio Island, a low key affair in which The Fishermen seemed to run out of ideas, perhaps being only part-timers they were wilting at the physical demands. Reputedly they had the smallest squad in the tournament because there just aren't enough fishermen on Lake Cygnus to go around. Nonetheless the Tamarins would have to be cautious of striker Giuliano Codazzatti and marauding midfielder Salvatore Robbiani, the pair showing a good partnership in the making so far.

An early good showing from the Tamarindian midfield soon had the Fishermen on the back foot, and any signs of another off-day for coach Maicon Sampaio's boys in yellow were soon dispelled with an early goal, on 11 minutes, from Masivdal combining nicely with Rueben Candal on the left. After that, the Fishermen never looked in it, and for much of the first half it looked like a cricket score was on the cards. But some stalwart last-ditch defending from Cygning – more often seen from Tamarindia – kept the score down to an unlikley 1-0. Hopes of a revival were soon dashed by Masvidal in the second half, more wide attacking play stretching the Fishermen to their limits, with de la Cruz providing the ammunition from the right this time. The warrior-like Masvidal, bouncing back from a poor game last time out and the disappointment of the narrow parallel defeat in the final of the Draggonnii Inviyatti to mighty Sarzonia after leading at half-time, was in fine fettle, and popped up to secure his first international hatrick with ten minutes to go. A fine performance from the Tamarins, the match ball and a man-of-the-match jeroboam for Masvidal.

Will this extraordinary striker become the greatest Tamarindian goalscorer of all-time? One is reminded of Malte, the legendary TamarPost forward of the sixties, who despite his youthful looks is seen here in his later days at Boca de Pozo.

---

#7. Malte
Bateriá (1958), Escolástico (1959-61), TamarPost (1962-69), Boca de Pozo (1970-73)

Ernesto Malte Carranza – commonly known as Malte – rose to prominence during his longest spell at a single club, when he played for the Postmen in the 1960s. A mercurial striker who averaged almost a goal per game in his career, he was unusual in Tamarindo football for being something of a journeyman. Starting out for his local club in Provisión, Bateriá (3 goals in 2 games) he was snapped up soon after making his debut at the end of the 1958 season, aged just 16, by Escolástico (94 goals in 103 games). After three astonishing seasons in which he attracted interest from many of the top clubs, he got a big move to Cisne-based TamarPost (163 goals in 180 games). He finished his career at Boca de Pozo hitting 61 goals in 58 appearances before retiring. Considered one of the greatest strikers of Tamarindian football, it is always tempting to wonder how he would've fared on the international stage, this being in the time before the national team.

The Eternal Youth

His ability in front of goal aside, Malte was famed for two things; his youthful good looks and his dimwittedness. The former was undeniable. When he retired at 31 he looked as fresh-faced as the youth team at Boca. He never lost an ounce of fitness, nor a hair on his head, nor a yard of pace. His reason for retiring, given his general excellent health, two good knees and keenness in front of goal, was the fact that dispelled the myth of the latter: he quit football to take a Masters Degree at The University of Cisne. What most people didn't realise was that he'd taken his degree part-time whilst banging in the goals for Escolástico, early in his career. It is not clear where the myth of his intellectual condition came from, but may be traced to the rumour that, when all the big clubs came calling, Malte announced he wanted to play in the port city of Cisne, and thought he was signing for Astillero when in fact it was TamarPost, whom he'd allegedly confused. In his biography, Malte denied this was true.

The Man of Cisne

Whether or not he realised he was signing for the second best team in Cisne, Malte was very happy with the Postmen. It was here that he rose to his iconic status, although his greatness did not necessarily rub off on the rest of the team, who never came close to winning anything. TamarPost were a one-man team at this time, and Malte was the man. He punted, side-footed, pelted, headed, bicycle-kicked, occasionally punched, chested, volleyed, half-volleyed, and toe-poked his way to scoring history. Once felled in a goal-mouth scramble he is believed to have blown the ball over the line. Oral historians also recount that on several occasions he passed through-balls to himself to score, once crossed a ball to himself and scored with a header, and hit so many goals with both left and right shin that he was called The Shin, or Espinilla.

Malte stunned the Postmen when still a fleet-footed twenty-eight year-old by declining a new contract and moving to Boca de Pozo, a big step down the football ladder. Rumour reared it's ugly head again that Malte thought once more he was signing for Astillero, since Boca groundshare with the Dockers, but ended up signing for Cisne's third best team. In his biography, Malte also denied this was true.

Novelista

After football Malte published his memoirs, Balón, Espinilla, Gol! to great acclaim, surprising everyone with his lyrical prose, colourful imagination and poet's power of unreliable recall. The best seller, praised for it's style over it's accuracy as a documentation of the life and times of a great in Tamarindo football, heralded the voice of a new and formidable writer in the nation's literary canon, a novelista who has been described by poet, singer and drunk Francisco Vasquez García as his greatest influence and inspiration. The eighteen novels and short story collections, beginning with the shambolic adventure Sleeping Dogs, defy the early myth that the Face of TamarPost and the Old Beauty of Boca was in fact all style and no substance, or indeed beauty over brains. Today enjoying a celebrity retirement in an apartment overlooking his beloved port of Cisne, Malte has not published a book since his 2005 An Irrational Fear of Triangles, and claims not to be working on another. His millions of readers are hoping otherwise.

[Carmadin]

"WHAT??!!!?? Another off day????" Kihxaw Jahp leaped up. "no! This is the end! If we have to go on that damn Tour of the Qazoxian Countryside I just might scream!" Dowv Daz grinned "relax, Kihxaw. We're just chillin at the hotel for the day. You know we've got a big match tommorow. And, if we do go on that tour, you are NOT opening your mouth. I have experienced firsthand what comes out of that!" Kihxaw sighed, then slumped back into his seat. "Oh thank god. Qazox is a pretty country and all, but I refuse to tour it again, or at least till they get paved roads" "Kihxaw. Chill yourself. WE ARENT GOING." "I know, but-" "NO BUTS!" "fine. Who wants to play some hall football?"


After the whole team agreed to the hall football match, they trooped upstairs. Hall Football was a relatively simple game they had invented to kepp them occupied in the hotel, though it did create a lot of havoc amongst the "normal" hotel guests. The team split up. One side took the top floor. They chose a goal. It was Guh Thi Nurngs room door. The other team took the lobbby, and their goal was the vending machine. The point of the game was simple, handle the ball, feet only, and hit it against the goal. It usually ends badly cause someone gets stuck manuevering around the elevator.

After a heated 3-hour-long match, which ended when the vending machine was hit by a particuarly hard shot, and began spewing free snacks at the players, the team trooped up to bed. Everyone was smiling and happy. Even though Seumen was first in the group now.






Kihxaw Jahp sat up in bed. He had heard something, he was sure of it. A loud thump. And then another. He slapped himself. Was he still dreaming? No. He opened his door, and was hit smack in the face by a football. He fell backwards, and that's when he heard a cold, cruel voice say


"Come on, Jahp. Get up. We're having a tiebreaker match. Hall Football. Let's go."

Oh god. His teammates were such clowns. Here they were with a huge match tommorow, and they were playing Hall Football at two o clock in the morning. He sighed, got up, and joined them.







The team was ready. They were gonna win. It was that obvious. That was the last thought in Kihxaw Jahp's head before he drifted off to sleep.

[Thatius]

Government Offices
Fajaravik, Thatius
11:09 A.M.


"Finally some good news!" exclaimed Carlos del Polatia, the head of the Department of Sports. "We finally secured a win in the Baptism of Fire. Two to one against Zoobians. Can you believe it Greg?"

Greg Dolskew looked up from the papers he was shuffling through. "Oh yeah, wonderful win. We needed it really badly after the slow start we've been through so far. But what about today's match against Carmadin? I'm not exactly sure how we'll do."

Carlos laughed. "Always the pessimistic guy. No, we'll win this one, for sure. The team will surely have the confidence now. Let me call Mitch."

After putting down the remote for the television, Carlos heads over to the phone, and dials a number.

"Hello?" answered a voice.

"Coach Varenkov! Hey it's Carlos del Polatia at the Department of Sports. Just calling to congratulate you on your first win at the Baptism of Fire."

"Oh hey Carlos," replied Mitch. He didn't really know what to expect from Carlos, especially after the fiasco of last year's local tournament. "Is all you're calling about is to say hi and congratulate us?"

"No, I wanted to talk a bit of what to expect for your next match."

"Sorry, I really don't need the help, no offense. We've been studying the tapes of the current matches Carmadin has played, and I think we have it down pat."

"Hey now," said Carlos. "It was just a friendly offer. After watching Carmadin, we think we know a few tricks as well."

"Well I'll hear them, but not over the phone. I have a press conference to attend to later, and I can't be late, according to my press secretary. Can you just e-mail those over to me when you get the chance? I'll read over them when I get back."

Carlos was not happy. "Alright I will. But next time, let's be a little more polite to the guy who signs your pay check. You don't want another coach to replace you, do you? I have connections right up to the President, and I'm directly in charge of the soccer program. There are many coaches who would just kill each other to have your position. So, how about a thank you and you be on your merry way?"

"Alright, whatever. Thanks Carlos. I owe you one. Ciao."

"Yeah, alright. Bye."

Carlos hung up the phone, and shook his head. "That guy is a moron. Why did we hire him? He might have the skills to coach, but his people skills are a joke, and he can't hold a regular conversation. Arrogant, too."

Greg looked at him funny. "You are his boss. If he needs to be fired, let it be done. I'm sure the assistant coach, Scholz, is it? He'd be a capable man for running the team. We can't let someone think that they are better than you, and deserve your job, no?"

"You're right," said Carlos. "This job at the Department of Sports is tedious. I don't know why the President even appointed me here, but I'll do what I'm told. We just need to launch our new marketing campaign for attracting people to participate in sports. You have that presentation ready for the benefactors and board of directors for the Football Association? Corinthos wants a new emphasis put on soccer, so we'll give it to him. I don't even understand how the guy knows anything about sports. He might be skinny, but I don't remember him telling us that he even played a sport. It's not like soccer is that hard. You just kick the ball."

"Carlos, you talk way to much. I sent the report to Judy and she'll meet you downstairs in about twenty minutes. No need to panic. Here, I even have the notes printed out for you. Just explain to the directors that we need more funding for this campaign which will target kids to take up soccer as a sport. Just tell them what has happened for Thatius in the Baptism of Fire already. I'm sure they've seen it on television, but tell them what it means for the nation as a whole."

"Thanks." said Carlos. "Greg, by the way, your computer is broken. I accidentally downloaded a file and it sent some kind of virus. And now you can't log in. I hope you can call tech support."

Carlos walks away, humming a tune.

"Wow, what a jack- oh hey Marina." said Greg, right as Marina Gelescu walked in with the day's report.

"You saw the match last night? Zoobians versus us? A pretty convincing win, in my opinion." said Marina. "Let's hope we can beat Carmadin tomorrow."

"Yeah, definitely." Greg replied. "So listen, Marina. Dinner for tonight? We can go back to my place and watch the game afterwards...or?"

Marina looked at him as if he was joking. Her eyes peeked above the glasses she wore. "You're kidding right? We're at work Greg, try to remember that. Oh and Carlos just texted me saying he wants the statistics from the Baptism of Fire match last night against Zoobians to be uploaded to the government site. I hope your computer works."

[Arcatea]

Arcatean Sports Commission Press Release

The Arcatean National Team is safe after a fight broke out in a Hotel Casino that involved Assistant coach Trevor Rush. According to reports, Rush was sitting at a blackjack table when two men at the table started to fight; Rush attempted to break up the fight, and then was attacked by another man. A few Arcatean players rushed to the aid of Rush and a larger fight ensued. Shots were fired, although no member of the Arcatean Team was brought to the hospital. Authorities say that charges will not be filed against Rush, or any of the players involved. Police are still looking for the man who shot and injured two innocent bystanders.

Because of this Incident, Manager Marvin Glove and the ASC have decided not to allow players to Gamble, and have changed their Itinerary for the rest of the Baptism of Fire. Glove said this of the Incident: “We do not view this as punishment for our players and staff. We are making these changes for their safety and wellbeing. Coach Rush and our players were attempting to break up a fight, and had no involvement in the starting of that fight. I pray for those bystanders who were shot, and our players will fully cooperate in the investigation.” The ASC apologizes to the government of Mangolana for the headache this has caused. President Jimmy Glenn has indicated that the full force of the Arcatean Police Force will be available to help in the investigation.

On a lighter note, Glove announced that his team will be fully ready to go tomorrow for their match against Camwood. “We have been training for this game for the past two days. Other than our little incident, we have been fully focused on these last two games. We will consider the BoF a failure if we don’t make it past group play. We are in 3rd place right now, but there is no reason we can’t finish 2nd behind Mapletish.”