Baptism of Fire 44 Everything thread.

[Arcatea]

Mascona, Mangolana- The Arcatean National Team narrowly lost its first ever game in international competition against Mapletish in the Ordonez group play during the 44th Baptism of Fire. The final score was 1-0, and the only goal was scored in the 87th minute. Mascona Memorial Stadium was almost to capacity for Arcatea’s first international game, as many Arcateans made the trip to Mangolana. Most businesses in Arcatea shut down to allow citizens to watch the broadcast of the game.

Mike Wilson allowed his first goal since his junior season at University of Mason River, and was visibly upset about it after the match. Wilson, who normally is the first to allow reporters to interview him, declined comment to everyone headed his way. Manager Marvin Glove said after the match that the team learned a lot in this first game, and will continue to work and train hard. The Phoenix hope to bounce back from the heart breaking loss versus Tal Vararr tomorrow. “We hope to use this loss to continue working on our teamwork and come closer as a team, I think that was the downfall during the match. The guys hadn’t played together long, and many weren’t used to my strategies. I don’t think that we will make any line-up changes, but we need to see more shots made by Milrick and Valery. Valery has one of the strongest legs I’ve seen, but didn’t get many shots off tonight” claimed Glove.

[Euskirribakondara]

Euskirribakondararen Nazionaren Futbola Taldea
Equip National de Balpied d'Euskirribakondara

Great début by Euskirribakondara!

With those words, Manolo Autxerkarrea the coach of the Stone Warriors started the press conference, shortly after the ENFT won its first match in the BoF. The 49.524 Euskal attendants (out of more than 90000) are happier than ever, and numerous celebrations have started throughout all the Kingdom. Probably never in Qazox, someone had seen such a celebration when the match ended. Here's the report:

01' The first chants of the Euskal fans are heard in the SaxerDome.
03' Ara Mkrtchyan makes the first Euskal shot at the Kazerjian goal, he fails but it's just the start.
20' One of the players from Kazerjan hits Sargis Leireloasim in the knee. A penalty shoot is given to EUS.
22' Mikel Txabes converts the penalty shoot into a wonderful goal, the first of the cup for EUS.
37' Sargis Leiroloasim falls again, and to avoid other injuries; Manolo changes him for Nizhnoy VERDEGORRIA (#33).
46' The first period finishes, and so match the score goes 0-1.
50' A new change is made in the Euskal team, Karl BOKSLE goes out, and Hari MATITX enters.
62' Xabi Darnel tries a front shoot, but he fails shortly. The Kazerjan team seems very pressured, and makes some changes.
67' A pass from Xabi Darnel to Mikel Txabes is converted into a wondrous goal!
76' The Euskal chants are louder than ever. The Kazerjan fans are getting bored, their team is failing every attempt.
82' The Euskal formation is changed from the offensive to a neutral position.
90' A Kazerjan player makes a shoot, but fails. And that way, the match is ended.

FINAL SCORE:

Kazerjan       vs.         Euskirribakondara
      00                   02
                            22' Txabes
                            67' Txabes

These were the final words of Manolo:

Tomorrow, we go against Beldonia as the home team. We remember them for the World Hit Festival, and we hope tomorrow we can set up a GREAT show! We'll travel tomorrow in the morning to Rockport, just like our fan club. And tomorrow the formation is the same the only change is that Sargis Leireloasim won't play, and instead of him we'll have Verdegorria..... GUREN TALDEA! HALA EUSKIRRIBAKONDARA!

[Krumbia]

Garon-Averia 1–2 Krumbia

01' The match begins.
16' Shelton scores the first goal of the match. A shot slotted nicely into the bottom corner.
34' Meadows tackles from behind and hits the other players legs. He is given a yellow card and they get a free kick. They score.
45' Halftime.
51' One of the other teams players makes a bad sliding tackle. Shelton is sent off with injuries, Lloyd is brought on. The other teams player gets a red card.
78' Harding scores the second goal. Making the score 2-1.
90' The match ends.

Garon-Averia 1
34' Unknown Scorer

Krumbia 2
16' Shelton
78' Harding

[Mapletish]

1-0 against Arcatea

Alero Junio lights up the night

The young and ambitious Mapletish won their first Baptism Of Fire match as Alero Junio bangs in a much needed goal for Mapletish in the 85th minute after controlling the game well with high tempo and high speed passing ready to tear up the opponent's defence at any time.Patterson Dellars was standing patiently at the sidelines as he signalled his instructions to his players.Mapletish misses out on an important chance in the game as Craig Thomas goes 1 on 1 to the opponent's keeper and fires in a low shot which went into the net but surprising it was ruled as offside.Instead of continuing to tear up the defence line of their opponent,Patterson decides to slow the game down to allow more breathing space for his plauers.After the half-time,Mapletish bursts up again,with a combined effort of Thomas and Junio,both of them providing the threat,Arcatea defenders wasn't given any time to rest as they find themselves out of positions at times and the keeper was facing a 2 on 1 or a much worse 3 on 1 with the defence not ready to provide the cover.Their determination was rewarded with a goal in the 85th minute.Thomas gets the ball directly from Travis from a goal kick and he make his way down the flank avoiding some Arcatea players and pass the ball down to Junio who in turn finish it off with a wonderful snapshot.After the goal,Mapletish moves down a gear to focus on proccession instead of trying to get another goal which in turn turns out to be the right choice,as they beat Arcatea at the final whistle.
Manager Patterson Dellars said after the match that he will not let his years of experience in football go to a waste as he would line up another win for Mapletish in the next match.He have also decided to use the time given to finetune the team's strengths and improve on their weakness."After every match,we have something to learn,the guys will get use to my tatics and strategies after a while.I don't think that we will make any line-up changes for now,but I think there is still lots to improve for the team and let's hope that the next game,my lads would be better."

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

Notorious talk radio host Robert Felton, who gained international infamy with his cynical take on the Lasft Olympics, is in conspiratorial mood again with the Seunem team.

The above links to an audio RP - 2:48, 2.7MiB.

[Rouge Pioneers]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Rouge Pioneers first ever international wasn't exactly memorable. In fact, little actually happened. We had 3 shots on target, but Bradley Jones of Miley World easily dealt with them. Only one yellow card was given to Rouge Pionners, to Orlio Descri.

[Miley World]

Miley World Dailey Mail

A soporific draw for Miley world

Miley World's first Baptism of Fire game ended up in a 0-0 draw. At the 16th minute Jorge Garcia tripped Andy Lysanderton. Garcia got a yellow card and Rouge Pioneers were awarded a penalty. Lysanderton shoots over the net! The score is still 0-0. At the 62nd minute Orlio Descri tripped Conor Downing. Descri got a yellow card and Miley World were awarded a free kick. The free kick was blocked by the players who were doing a wall.

boxscore:
no goals

yellow cards:
16': Jorge Garcia (Miley World
62': Orlio Descri (Rouge Pioneers)

[Triimoria]

Triimoria Informer

Triumph for Triimoria!

BoF 44: Triimoria 2-0 Yiland

Today, was Triimoria's first match in the Baptism of Fire... We at the Triimoria Informer are pleased to report that Triimoria won! OK football fans you can breath again we DID NOT lose by some ridiculous margin. As many skeptics expected but played really rather well. Now you've all got your breath back I'll begin the tale of how our BoF campaign began with a bang...
Triimoria started the match brightly. They quickly took the lead. In fact very quickly took the lead. Two minutes! After a brief period of passing the ball around. Atov decided to try his luck from far out. Good thing he did, it went in the net. 1-0! Yiland responded well to this set back and really started to get going. The game became more level. On the fifteenth minute they had a chance to equalize. One of the Yiland strikers ventured into the box he slipped a pass to his upfront partner. Farmer dashed out. He passed back to the other striker. The Yilander had the goal at his mercy. He shot. Hyooj leaped into the way of the shot to keep Triimoria's lead intact. That was almost 1-1! Triimoria began to look like the better team from there on in. Soon on twenty-eighth minute they had another chance. Lightning entered the opposition half he used his muscle to get past the first defender. He cut a pass to Quitazotl. Quitazotl shot!... And it went sky-rocketing over the bar. Terrible effort. The game calmed down and nothing to report happened in the rest of the first half.
The beginning of the second half was much the same as the beginning of the first. Triimoria began well. Although no clean cut chances came until the sixtieth minute. A poor pass between two Yilander defenders was intercepted by Ozzaguira. He moved in on goal the keeper rushed out. Ozzaguira shoots. Straight at the keeper. Poor shot. Yiland came close to equalising on the seventy-third minute. One of their midfielders went on a quite spectacular run. He jinked around the Triimoria midfield and defence. He moved in on Farmer. He hit a pass to his nearest striker. Another open goal! He hit a thunderous drive! Off the post!!! How did he miss that? Triimoria doubled on the eighty-fourth minute. Triimoria had a corner. Quitazotl swung it in. The Yiland keeper punched it away. Galeria was lurking outside the box. The ball fell towards Galeria. He hid a furious volley! Into the top corner! 2-0! What a goal! The eighteen year old proves how good he is with that stunner! The game finished in a quiet fashion after all this.
Well that's how it happened! Unexpected happened! Take that skeptics! WHAM!

[Tal Vararr]

BAPTISM OF FIRE:

TAL VARARR 1 - GYATSO-KAI 3

“We will have our triumphs”

Following Tal-Vararr's 3-1 defeat, no one is more disappointed than the players. Young Rodrigo Joya, having crafted one of the most beautiful goals this commentator has ever seen, dropped to his knees at the final whistle and cried. However, optimism remains high within the camp, and fans are largely satisfied with the style, if not the outcome, of the game. “We will have our triumphs” said coach Buenonotte, moments after the game, “but they shall be our triumphs, won from playing our way. We want to entertain the crowd, not bore them to death with defence for 90 mins.”

Buenonotte's starting 11 remains unchanged. “I want to give everyone their chance, but I want to show those who began the first match that my faith in them remains unshaken.”

APPEAL TO THE FANS:

The Tal Vararr government would like to remind all fans travelling to the Baptism of Fire that other countries do not necessarily share our tolerance of public nudity. Please respect the local customs and cover up parts as appropriate. Thank you for your co-operation.

[Carmadin]

Dowv Daz grinned. He could not stop. The team partyed in the locker room, champagne was spraying everywhere, but Dowv just stood there smiling. Victory was sweet. Especially winning your first ever match in the Baptism of Fire. AND especially when your team's star goaltender, Kihxaw Jahp, had shone he was one of the best in the tourney with 13 spectacular saves, and a shutout in his first international appearance. But what made this victory sweetest was that Dowv had scored the winning goal in the 90th minute. His first ever goal since college 6 long years ago. And it was a game winner. In the 90th minute. In one of the 3 biggest tournaments in the world. Football fans all over the world knew the name Dowv Daz. He was the one who got the Carmadins their win. The one who made that improbable boot from outside the 18 on a desperation clear at the very end of the match. And that was good with him.


The ball flew at Kihxaw Jahp. He leapt, and grabbed it just seconds before it entered the goal. The fans screamed as he booted it downfield, right to Dowv Daz. Daz took it, dribbled it, and crushed it right to the back of the Zoobian net, in front of the goaltender's outstretched hands. "and that, folks, is how Carmadin defeated the Zoobians, 1-0, in the first match of the Baptism of Fire."

GO CARMADIN!

[Nicole Scherzinger]

The final score flashed on the screen.

'Nicole Scherzinger 2-1 Osesnsasandaes'

"Wow, can you believe that, eh?" asked Elizabeth Dubois.

"Oh god, there you go again." replied Olivia Ronan, her teammate and the Left Midfielder.

"What?" Elizabeth said, defiantly, putting her hands on her hips.

"You're going back to your Canadian accent, again."

Elizabeth laughed. "I can't help that my ancestors came from Canada and my family is pure Canadian. I mean, we love our maple syrup. I think we even have a few maple trees growing behind our house."

"Now that's just weird. But whatever! We won!"

"It's unbelievable. There is definitely going to be some hard-core partying in Nicole Scherzinger tonight. I think Molly and some of my other friends said they were going to Nicole's Park in downtown Washingboro. It's not like they have anything else to do since finals are over."

"Yep," said Elizabeth. "I just hope Molly doesn't get drunk and get with her ex-boyfriend again. That guy is a loser. He may look great, but his brain is just so undeveloped. Good thing boys are our personal slaves, or else he would be demanding her every second. I wish we could have brought some along with us, just so they can massage my feet back at the hotel. They hurt, a lot."

"Seriously?" asked Olivia, while heading to the locker room. "It's called the spa. Ever heard of it? They have professionals give you massages, and probably specialize on your feet."

Elizabeth looked at her like she was crazy. "Girl, you know there is nothing like a guy from Nicole Scherzinger giving a foot massage. Have you ever been to Kramacia? That sea-side resort town is the bomb, and the guys who work there give the best massages. I would just love to go there, relax, go swim for a bit, drink a martini, then get a massage."

"You seriously need a reality check." said Olivia. "Just go pretend you're in Kramacia when you're at the spa here in Mangolana. Then afterwards you can focus on the task at hand, beating our next opponent."

"And who is that?" inquired Elizabeth.

"Let's see." said Olivia, as she was flipping through the schedule she had brought with her in the bag. "Ah here it is. I think we're playing The Vuhifellian States next."

"Hmm..tough competition. How about we just go to the spa and worry about that later tonight. Maybe get the coaches to come to the spa with us, so they can tell us our strategy while we relax in the hot tub."

[Seunem]

OOC: Ugh, amateur. Can ye give us a -2 style mod please, hosty peoples. Ta.

***

Prologue Three ~ ZOMMFGTEXTWALLAGAINTHISISWHATHAPPENSWHENYOUHAVEBYEDAYSLASTONETHOUGHPROMISE!!

“No! No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no! Hopeless! Hopeless. There’s no cohesion, lads, you’re all over the place. What’s the gaffer going t’think when he walks in on that, eh? What about the fans?”

“Do we even have any fans, Mr Kyle?”

“Uh… Yeah. Yeah, ‘course you do, Costin lad! Can’t have a national team without fans, can yeh? Now come on, con-sen-tray-shun! You’ve got to keep an eye on the man next to you, know what he’s doing. I know it’s all a bit haddock at the minute, but you’ll get the hang soon enough, bright lads like you!”

“I’m not sure we will…”

“Come on, now! Together, this time! I’m sure you can work out the particulars amongst yourselves, you’ve jus’ got t’get the spirit right first! Puff out your chests, hands on your hearts, here we go, a-one, a-two, a-three…!”

“OHHH, WINSTAN JOSEPH A’ JENT WAS ‘EEEE; PARISH O’ SAINT LULL A’ THE ‘IN-TER-LAAAAND!!!! SIRED IN THE SOFT OF OLD ROBIN’S TREEEE… erm…”

“Gowon, gowon, that’s a bit more like it!”

“Um… We’ve forgotten the next bit, Mr Taubmann.”

“Oh, jees… It’s the most important bit! Come on, get with it. Sired int soft of ol’ Robin’s treeee, child a-born…”

“CHILD A-BORN IN see-un-mumble-mumble SAAAAANDS!!”

“There you is! Tune could do with a little work, Diego you’ll… you’ll just have to keep up. Mime. Erm. Roight. One verse mastered. Only thirteen of the blasted things to go…”

***

“Roight, lessee… Amy, come stand in my wall. Uh, you, Austin lad, you’re on the back post… Thome and, what’s-your-face, Lewis, bunch up with ‘er, lads, she won’t give you nits. Right, Fat Controller! Roberto!”

“¿Qué?”

“In goal, lad. Your turn. Ohchrist... uh... Il enter... las paloses? Go, go there... In there. Net. Yes.”

“Sí, yes.”

“Roight, Samson?” the goalkeeping coach sighed, “See if you can bea... oh.”

The ball left Sam’s right foot and arced perfectly over the hapless, entirely uncoordinated leap of the three-man-one-woman wall and into the bottom left-hand corner, requiring only the lightest fumble from the Sargossan in goal. The captain raised his hands aloft in sarcastic triumph and wheeled away to join Taubmann on the sidelines. Roberto kicked the upright a few times, as if the living plastic of the goal post required admonishment for its sins. The wall disintegrated and bickered amongst itself.

“You could try the other girl?” Sam suggested to Taubmann helpfully, once they were out of earshot.

“Yeah… Where does she play again?”

“Delamawarian second division, Amy says. She’s a professional, though. I think. That’s got to count for something.”

“Lasses league though, right?”

“Makes no difference. At least it didn’t when I lived next door in Chesapeake. It’s all a bit Dagan over there, sockerrr-wise. They reckon it’s a girls’ game.”

“Yeah? What do the fellas play?”

“Lacrosse, mostly.”

Taubmann raised his eyes to the heavens. “These continentals are crazy… ¡ROBERTO! Don’t take yer eyes… No quitter le vister de la… ball, ohlordsabove…”

“For what it’s worth, the Polarian guy seems like the best of the bunch,” Sam said, wincing as Tony Finnegan chipped the railway worker currently between the sticks without even trying, “At least he looks like he actually wants to make a save or two.”

“He jangles, lad. I ain’t going t’trust a goalkeeper who has to stop every five minutes to unhook his seal-spirit necklace from the netting.”

“It was only the once…”

“And you scored from a short corner because’ve it! A short corner. That’s never happened in the history of football!”

“We’re certainly going to make history one way or another,” Sam muttered as the Candelariasian coach motioned limply towards Kiena Sixpence.

“Roight, your turn, luv! Slightly to the left, yeah. Make yourself big! Not that you need much encouragement on that account,” Kyle added under his breath, “It’s a wonder our Eirik isn’t down on his knees worshipping her as a seal-spirit gone all manifest. ‘Professional’ my arse…”

Sam gave the bulbous ex-pro a sideways glance, and diplomatically opted to let history be the judge of that particular line of commentary.

Kyle Taubmann wasn’t much of a coach in Sam’s opinion. It was clear to him now why AFC MN Smith’s much-vaun… once much-vaunted academy hadn’t produced a young goalkeeper worth his or her onions for a good decade or so. But he valued Kyle’s presence all the same. Without him, the whole ghastly trip really would be a complete farce.

‘Amateurish’ was the word. Taubmann had got a handful of the squad doing some set pieces at least – God and Sam alike knew they were going to concede plenty with the cloggers they had in the centre, and free-kicks and penalties probably offered their best hope of scoring themselves, at that – but it was all pretty basic stuff, nothing to get the wind up even a moderately well-drilled, experienced opposition.

Most of the others were either doing circuits of the training pitch in a desperate attempt to lose a few pounds before the big day tomorrow, while most of the younger kids were somewhere in the Qazian Memorial complex, watching a tactics DVD Taubmann had hastily shoved into his luggage before boarding back in Albrecht. From what Sam had seen, the teens among the squad were probably the most talented of a bad bunch, but he had no clue if Mister Thomas was going to risk any of them against Thatius and wasn’t about to blame him if he didn’t. Most of them hadn’t played in front of a hundred people before, never mind a potential audience of a hundred thousand. Youthful exuberance was one thing, but the seemingly inevitable heavy defeat that would follow, in front of so many onlookers, would surely knock their confidence right off for the remainder of the tournament. The manager and his little friend, for their part, hadn’t been seen since the previous evening.

He said as much to Amy as she trotted over to get him for the next simple set-piece.

“I know what you were saying on the plane, Ames... Career opportunity, and all that. But honestly, this is hopeless! I’d be appalled if Albrecht Turkish coached our under-elevens like this!”

“Stop moaning and stick your oar in, then. Have you done your badges yet?”

Sam grimaced. “Not... as such. No.” He scowled in response to the left-back’s disapproving face. “Well, there were always so many distractions...”

“I bet there was...”

“And the last year, well... Didn’t seem much point. I guess, worse case scenario, I could give one of the Turkish coaches a buzz, couldn’t I? Get ‘em to drop in on Qazox, bit of a mercy mission...”

“It’s a funny thing,” a new, drawling voice offered as it sailed past the Candelariasians, “But in the, what, three days, since I’ve been here – and the, perhaps, one and a half days you’ve been here – I reckon I’ve heard the words ‘Albrecht’ and ‘Turkish’ about as many times as ‘when’, maybe, or ‘the’.”

Sam gritted his teeth. “Your point, Harding?”

“Just an observation. Along with the one that several of ‘our’ squad weren’t even born the last time your domestic league was in operation. A few less ‘back in the CMSC’ lectures might go down a treat, I’d say...”

Lost for a response, Sam merely glared at the Rotor Dzinkagrad midfielder’s retreating back. “I thought Mytanars were supposed to be nice,” he muttered to Amy after a while.

“When they’re not braining you with cricket bats, sure. Perhaps ‘our’ ones are just special.” She offered him an encouraging grin. “He was exaggerating. A bit…”

Sam shrugged. In the two days, thankyouverymuch, and it’s not our fault someone booked tickets to Mascona over Qazox, that he’d been here, he and Harding Steavan-hall and Brown had exchanged barely more than half a dozen words, but they were enough for Sam to know that he and the burly, surly miner were never going to be friends. He watched his adversary join old Bogoslav, the kid Viktor and two or three others, and saw Harding nod and mutter in his direction. A small amount of chummy sniggering followed.

“Oh, great,” the striker grumbled, visibly slipping further into the funk that had hung over him ever since their arrival in Qazox, “We’ve gone and got ourselves cliques already. The Mytanars, the Sortherners, the youngsters, the ones who can’t speak a jot of English. The crumblies off comparing chilblains and varicose veins,” he added, apparently in that moment rejecting his own plausible membership of such a faction. “Bad defeat tomorrow and it’s all going to come crumbling down, just you watch…”

“Well, you’re a little ray of sunshine today. Do something about it, if it’s bothering you that much! You’re supposed to be the captain, for pity’s sake!”

“I didn’t ask to be,” Sam complained. “It’s more than just a slip of cloth, in any case. I’m not captain material, Amy, never have been. Werner, Dwier Titenburg, Niv Cohen… I’ve had some proper captains, back in the day…”

“Less of the Albrecht Turkish references though, eh?” Amy quietly reprimanded.

“The point is, though… I sit in the corner. It’s what I do. What I’ve always done. I’m the sits-in-the-corner guy, good ol’ Sam, with the stupid long name and daft mid-Western accent. I don’t get up and give speeches, I don’t hold a squad together. Certainly not a bunch of amateurs and no-marks like this!”

“Gosh, thanks a bunch…”

“You know what I meant…”

“Well, you’re just going t’have to learn, aren’t you? You’re top gorilla now, whether you like it or not, so… go and dye yer back silver, or whatever it is they do. Be like those fish where the top lady fish grows man bits when there’s a shortage of men-fish.”

“Uh?”

“Adapt, is what I’m saying. The rest of us are going to have to. Half of them have never played with ewwguuurls for a start. Or with one defensive midfielder, never mind two. Come on,” Amy sighed, patting his shoulder, “Tubby the magic goalkeeping coach wants us, by the looks of it. There’ll plenty of time for you to go all silver-back and assertive later, you watch…”

That part of the squad that wasn’t cowering fearfully indoors, or wandering off to find a local restaurateur who could speak Spanish, had gathered in a sweaty, unhappy heap at Taubmann’s feet as Sam and Amy walked over to a derisive greeting of ‘Nice of you to join us, again!’ and the ensuing snorts of endorsement. Sam, still less than convinced by Amy’s insistence, decided this wasn’t the time to ‘assert’ anything too much, and just shook his head sadly instead. Viktor Ribak, the speaker, seemed a perfectly pleasant kid, and the puppyish way the Mytannion-born amateur centre-half had turned to Harding for approval afterwards confirmed to Sam that the direction of any future clamp-down lay elsewhere.

Taubmann waved a silencing hand, in any case. “Shut up. Roight, Thatius. How’re we – sorry, how are you lot – going to beat them? Hm?”

“We’re not,” said Austin Vane and Woodknock, not unreasonably. “Unless they become so depressed after having to look these awful grey away kits of ours for forty-five minutes that they all go and top themselves at half-time.”

The coach didn’t dismiss it outright. “Psychological warfare… not out of the question.”

“There’s been indications of heavy goose activity in their region these last few weeks.” This was from Amy. “If we all donned elasticised beaks and stuck a couple of feathers to our shins, I reckon coupled with those kits we could get their ganders up for a bit. That’d catch ‘em on the hop. My dad works for the Northern Rushmori Belligerent Avifauna Tracking and Research Board,” she added, feeling an explanation was required at this point.

“Also do-able, but remember lads and lasses, these are proper foreigners. Not like us Rushmoris and you honorary Sorthern types. Different fears, these Thatians. Different values.”

“Maybe if they’re not used to playing against women either…?” Kiena suggested hopefully. “Or, maybe the weather’ll get ‘em down too. I’ve done my reeesearch,” she added. I’ll bet you have, Sam thought to himself, Little swot. You’ve got coloured pens and ring binders written all over you. “They’re used to extremes of temperature over in Thatius. Nice, moderate, Qazox City might, you know…”

“Ye-eah… Look, lads and… lady-lads. One thing we’ve got on ‘em, roight? They’re no more used to playing together than we are, as far as I know. But they probably play against each other all the time in their own league, whereas you lot don’t know each other from Adam. So if you don’t know what yer going t’do, sure as eggs is cheese they aren’t going to either!”

“That’s not p’tically comforting, Mr Taubmann,” Viktor offered hesitantly. Sam had to admit it really wasn’t.

“And at least they know what the hell they’re playing for.”

And that was from Costin, the Virabi, but Sam knew it could have been any of them, himself included.

“And who the hell they’re playing for! I looked stuff up too, yeah? There’s three-point-six billion Thatians. How many of us are there? How many Seunemers?”

“Twenty-two?” Andrion Customers laughed. “Twenty-three, if you count Tony.”

His elder St. Pat’s team-mate threw a good-natured boot at him. “I’ll have you know I’m as Seunemish as the next man!” Finnegan exclaimed defiantly, convincing no-one very much.

“Yeah, but the next man’s Mr. Taubmann!”

It was Costin, once again, who summed up the general school of thought by breaking the awkward, thoughtful silence that followed. “Um… Seunemish? Is that…?”

“I always thought it was, sort of… see-un-Amy,” said Amy. “As in… Amy. That’s right, right?” she added, glancing at Sam.

“Mom always kinda had it more… see-un-emmy. But… I guess she never said it more than about three times in my entire childhood, so…”

“For what it’s worth,” Austin ventured, “I only found out it wasn’t ‘soy-nem’ the best part of a week ago. Paternal grandfather, y’see. And he left as a kid, I guess.”

“Man, this is just stupid. Half of us don’t even know why we’re here. The other half who’ve actually got at least one, actual, Seunem…ese parent probably don’t want to be here. What’s the point? It’s not as though we’re earning anything from this, we’re gonna get absolutely flattened by anyone half decent…”

“The Daily Echo make us one of the favourites, Cost,” Thome Devero, whom Sam had conscientiously mentally labelled as ‘The Combative Kytlerian’ ahead of ‘The One of Extremely Uncertain Parentage, I Mean Just Look at Him, He’s Greyer Than Our Away Kits’, ventured. “But then what do they know? If it’s not about saving the Roddens Winter Gardens they don’t want to hear it. I offered them the chance of a regular column, y’know, my thoughts and feelings, a bit of politics, a bit of home-spun wisdom…” He trailed off. “Anyway. Robert Felton reckons so too, and he’s one of our leading radio chaps, the bigoted little…”

“And come we thereupon a merest mommet of truthfulness, I do think…”

The others turned to see Freskin Mobec and Aune, cheeks looking a trifle more unhealthy than ‘rosy’ could allow, joining them after his latest sprint around the field. Sam saw Amy catch his eye and mouth ‘I do think’ at him. He nodded back at her.

“And your meaning by that, Fresk?”

“I only note your certain concerns with this Felton’s felonies of prejudice… Devero. One might be pained to observe almost a certain axe to sharpen on your part…”

“If he doesn’t, I do,” Sam snapped. “I certainly don’t need any reminding about the mental frailties of your average talk show host.” There, he added to himself, Consider yourself asserted, you gurt great lump.

He couldn’t ignore the same nagging notion, though. Thome’s accent he couldn’t place, but from what little he’d heard of Kytlerians in years past that wasn’t in itself remarkable. And sure, the midfielder wasn’t the only one… like that. Mister Thomas, for one thing, never mind young Ezechias. But Thome really was awfully… different.

Has anyone ever told me you can’t have black Seunemis, though? he thought. It’s not innately unreasonable, is it? There could be all sorts there. That being the problem. As far as I know, I’m a hundred percent Seunemi, and even I haven’t got a clue who we’re supposed to be playing for either…

The four little beeps of an incoming text message interrupted his thoughts, but it was Taubmann who withdrew the offending object from his own pocket first.

“Roight, that was our little mate Maxim. Yer gaffer’s back, so you can all trot off to have yer jabs and the–”

“‘Jabs’? What’re they expecting us to catch here?” Andrion spluttered, evidently a smidgen more nervously than he’d hoped to let on.

Amy laughed. “In Qazox? Just about anything! Did yeh not read the brochure? ‘Relaxed’ with a capital ‘Ruh’, Andy. Frankly, I think I’m being brave not venturing outside in full-body latex.”

“Don’t look at me, you lot, don’t know anything about it,” Taubmann shrugged. “We’re going to be travelling length and strength of the country though, ain’t us? Better to be safe than sorry.” He yawned as he wandered off into the depths of the Qazian Memorial Stadium to find the manager, the squad playing the meek little ducklings behind him. “Don’t suppose we could just have a gentlemen’s agreement to play ‘em at summat else instead, could we? Tennis, maybe. I likes tennis.”

“So do they. Rather good at it, by all accounts.”

“Really? Gawd. Me and himself are going t’need a nice long chat again about my salary after this. Our Hannah’s going t’blow a gasket, this little misadventure ain’t good for my blood pressure, lads. Ain’t good at all…”

[Megadia]

Megadia got off to a solid start in the Baptism of Fire 44 in their match against Beldonia last night, the final score being a tight 3-3 draw.

Megadia were very eager to get an early goal, a strong mix of young and old players composing the squad and an early goal would be key as to determining the final result and that goal was scored by Beldonia. Their captain wiggling is way through Stefan Meier and Robin Van Lieshout before tapping the ball past the keeper and into the bottom corner of the net, much to the disarray of the 15,000 travelling Megadian fans packed into the SaxerDome last night who booed the calamitous, Ricardo Tatianolovi. But surprisingly, the goal did nothing to demoralise the Megastars, it instead motivated them and it would be none other than the Megadian goal-king himself, Austin Freshwater-Blake to score Megadia's first goal of the tournament, a thump into the back of the net after a brilliant pass from Stefano di Michele. di Michele managed to get on the scoresheet himself, scoring a beautifully placed free-kick from 25 yards out and was subsequently bombarded by the many Megadia players delighted with the left-winger's brilliant performance so far. But the dominance would later swing when Beldonia took advantage of another Megadian defensive error when substitute, Frazier Derry deflected a cross into his own goal to make the scores level. In the last ten minutes however, a Beldonia striker was brought down in the area by Luc Rochelle and then the captain stepped up to take the penalty which was calmly slotted into the bottom corner. Megadia desperate not to lose their opening match, went on the counter attack which resulted in Bojan König scoring what may later be viewed as goal of the tournament; a perfectly-timed 30 yard half volley, every midfielder's dream and the whole Megadian contingent were clearly ecstatic to have scored such an unlikely equaliser.

When asked how he thought the team performed, manager, Miguel Santiago-Turner said "It was a good start, certainly for Stefano and Bojan in particular, but there are certain defensive issues that need to be addressed if we are going to stand any chance of doing well in this tournament." We couldn't agree more and are glad to see that the manager is identifying the key areas that need work. But one thing is sure, the future looks bright for Megadian football.

[Gyatso-kai]

REPUBLIC ASSOCIATED TIMES
Gyatso-kai Debuts in STYLE! WINS FIRST INTERNATIONAL MATCH!

Printed in Volume XVI, 2011.2.10.03

---

Match Report

With the first half of the game underway, there was an almost uneasy calm over the pitch; as if a storm were brewing just beyond the horizon. The players on both teams played very simple passing the ball back and forth, with no single team making a move.

The first ten minutes of the game went without incident, until Avatarian midfielder Ngo Quyen fumbled while trying to pass the ball up-pitch on his right foot to Wakahisa Hikaru. As the ball struggled to right itself on the grass, Tal Varrarian midfielder
Ezequiel Elmedio dashed from what seemed like nowhere to scoop up the ball. Running at full-tilt, Elmedio was able to push pass a retreating Ngo and outrun the speed demon of Kobayashi Ren to break into the offensive zone. While central defenders Kim Dong Su and Fujimoto Zhong struggled to reposition, the opposition's strikers quickly swooped in, eventually leading Elmedio to pas the ball up-pitch to Mario Alberto Matador who upon rushing to the net, passed quick to the left and from less than four metres, Rodrigo Joya made the striking blow.

For the next thirty-five minutes, the Avatarians would fight hard to regain control of the game, however, the Tal VArrarians held firm possession of the bal.

HALF TIME: TAL VARRAR 1 - 0 GYATSO-KAI

Upon returning to the pitch, Gyatso-kai seemed to return with new vigor; with Kad'e Tay'haai taking firm control on a back-pitch pass within the first three minutes and coming forward on his own to score the tying goal. The celebration of the tie was quite rapturous, with all the Avatarian players forming a large huddle of players jumping and singing... One would have sworn that the team just won the World Cup.

The next thirty minutes of play would go by uneventful; with both teams vying for possession of the ball to bring about another score. However, no team could gain solid possession and bring the ball pass the goalkeeper.

In the 78th minute, Gyatso-kai would gain the upper hand on the yellow card given to Tal Varrarian defender Daniél Paredas for his very questionable tackle which sent Kim to the locker room with a high ankle strain. The resulting penalty kick was awarded to Tay'haai who, thanks to his ambidexterity, was able to trick the keeper into diving left as Tay'haai sent the ball soaring into the top right corner of the net.

The next four minutes would see the Bisons garnishing control of the ball again and driving a stellar performance home with Wakahisa bringing a goal in at the 83rd minute as he crossed the goal area and kicked the ball over the sprawling Roberto Arquero. It was a note-worthy goal, sure to be shown on the highlight reel tonight on ASPN, however, the next seven minutes would prove to be very difficult for the Bisons, as Tal Varrar would take three shots on goal within that short time.

HALF TIME: TAL VARRAR 1 - 3 GYATSO-KAI

---

Match Stats

TAL VARRAR	1	-	3	GYATSO-KAI
Joya	10'			~	Tay'haai	48', 79'
					Wakahisa	83'
-
42%  Possesion  58%
15  Shots  21
8  On Target  16
4  Corners  8
27  Fouls  26
1  Bookings  0
0  Red Cards  0
-
Man of the Match
Wad'e Tay'haani (2G, 1A)

---

Post Match comments

I am quite proud of our men for winning their first international match. If the Spirits Will it, they shall go very far!

Avatar Aang --- Ruler of the Avatarian Republics

Two goals in one game is unheard of for (Tay'haai) during his tenure at Keldabe FC, yet here he is, in his first international cap, getting close to the hat trick. Perhaps I need to work for a better salary for him.

Boba Vhett --- Head Coach of the Avatarian National Team

OMG #bisons wur uhMAZing!!! Go #Bisons #WC57 !!!

Lai Ilai --- Avatarian APop Star

---

Schedule

03.10 at Tal Varrar - WIN 1-3
04.10 BYE DAY
05.10 vs Arcatea
06.10 BYE DAY
07.10 vs Camwood
08.10 at Trimasia
09.10 vs Mapletish

---

The Group

The other group game same Mapletish blank Arcatea 1-nil in their first game, bringing Mapletish into second place in the group.

The Scores
Mapletish 1-0 Arcatea

The Table

Ordonez Standings
   Team           P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Gyatso-kai     1 1 0 0  3  1 +2  3
 2 Mapletish      1 1 0 0  1  0 +1  3
 3 Camwood        0 0 0 0  0  0 +0  0
 4 Trimasia       0 0 0 0  0  0 +0  0
 5 Arcatea        1 0 0 1  0  1 -1  0 
 6 Tal Vararr     1 0 0 1  1  3 -2  0

The Goalscorers for Gyatso-kai

Wad'e TAY'HAAI	2	GKI
WAKAHISA Hikaru	1	GKI

---

The Next Match

Preview: Arcatea
Having lost to Mapletish today, we are sure to be in for a game. A team wishig to right their first day lapse, Arcatea is sure to put up a fight. However, our men will do well and represent our Nations in a great performance!

The Lineup for the Match

------------------------01------------------------
-------------05--------------------06-------------
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--------04------------------------------08--------
-------------07--------------------11-------------
-------------------09--------10-------------------

[Cygning]

"...yes, ah-let me tell you about ah-da what is ah-going on heeeeere. It's ah-dose damn football, ah, players. What in the name of ah-da for God's sakes, what-"

"Mrs. Abbati, please take a seat. Now, ah, we've gathered he- we're meeting to discuss what to do about the eleven membe- the people who left to play football off the land. They regist- ah, signed up to play in this tournament under our name, the name of Cygning-"

"BULL-AH-SHIT!" cried Mrs. Abbati from one of the front rows in the audience. "This is da great land of, ah, Bortino! Should ah-da honor da name!"

The crowd burst out with applause. Mrs. Abbati was immediately hailed as the group's moral leader. "She speaks truth!" yelled Mrs. Cortolamini. "She makes the good rigatoni, no?" Mr. Robbiani whispered to his wife. A whispered "yes" inspired Mr. Robbiani to nod his head in approval. "She's earned my respect."

Mr. Carlatto pleaded with the assembly to settle down. "Now, ah, let's all calm d- let's settle down, folks. We all know we're no longer Bort- our name isn't Bortino anymore. We are Cygning. Now, ah, about these football boys. They took one of Mr. Silviattei-" -- Mr. Silviattei stood up proudly -- "one of his boats, and sailed across the entire lake" - "and made it the whole damn way!" Mr. Silviattei was bursting with excitement, as though his sons had just graduated from high school. "That's Silviattei Boats & Kayaks, call us anytime, sturdiest boats in Bortino-" -- "and made it all the wa- sailed to Mangolana."

"Well, how in the hell are they supposed to survive there without this island's delicious fish?" implored Mr. Morossetti to a round of cheers. "My fish is the healthiest around, in all of Bortino, even. They should have picked some up before they left!"

"We do have a dispatc- a rescue crew available if we think we should bring them back," added Mr. Carlatto. "Now, ah, look, this is a troubli- a hairy situation, and, ah-"

"Yous have hairy situation yourself!" scolded Mrs. Cortolamini as the crowd started roaring. Mr. Carlatto had begun balding at the ripe age of twenty-three, and the joke around the island went that you could find more hair on a thousand-year-old skeleton. His face now the shade of a plum, Mr. Carlatto started breathing loudly, trying to find that internal state of peace that Cygs so often struggled with.

"Now, ah, this is serious. I want everyone to settle do- let's all be quiet n-" -- "SHUT AH-UP!" implored Mrs. Abbati. "Let ah-da poor man speak, yes. Is serious, ah-yes.-" -- "Yes, it's very serio- quite an offense-" -- "We need these boys back in Bortino to do their jobs!" a stern Mr. Lazzi called out. His popular opinion raised a chorus of approval. "They are fishermen, not athletes, no. We don't care about football or any other sport. We care about food, we care about our fish-" -- "I, Morosetti, sell delicious fish!-" -- "Shut up! Grini sells much better bass!-" -- "Now, everyone quiet! Obviously there's a lot of sentime- no one seems to support these boys. I want to see a hand vote, should we send our rescu- our dispatch team to bring them ba-"

The doors to the building crashed open, and everyone jumped. In came Mr. Tibalbi, a small, scrawny man, sweat pouring down his face and staining the backs of his clothes. "The football boys just won their first game."

Dead silence. Then Mr. Robbiani spoke up. "Maybe we should, ah, adjourn for a bit? I could use a pint of Pinti anyway. And I want to see these boys play football." Murmurs of agreement waved through the audience, and then the assembled Cygs rose and began filing out. A breathless Mr. Carlatto stood and waved his arms to no avail. "Yes, could use some Pinti, yes." "Do you think Politali scored? He's my boy." "He's the goalie, he don't score, no!"

[Arcatea]

Mascona, Mangolana-Manager Marvin Glove has announced his line-up for the Match against Tal Vararr. “Tal Vararr also lost is first game, so this game will prove to be a good game. This being so, I have decided to make a small change in our line-up for tonight. I have decided to pull Bill Ziremen and put Craig Deal in his place. I didn’t get the production out of Ziremen that I had hoped. Deal looked good in practice this afternoon and I feel that him being in the line-up gives Arcatea its best chance at a win.” Glove said in his press conference. Deal is a current player at Bucktown University, where he was the leading scorer this previous ANCA season. “It feels good to get the nod to play today,” said Deal. “I’ve been waiting for a long time to prove myself to Arcatea, and I hope to have a big game tonight.

There was talk of Glove removing Goalkeeper Mike Wilson, after he allowed his first goal in over a year. “He was visibly upset last night,” remarked Glove, “but I think after he had time to cool down and watch some game film, he will be ready to go for tonight.” Wilson said,” Keepers allow goals all the time, but for me it had been so long I didn’t know what to do. I just had a breakdown, but I will be fine tonight. I hope to learn from this experience competing Internationally.”

[Howdeellow]

Today Howdeellow had a boring game against Skalholt. The final score of the game was 0-0. Both sides had some great opportunities, but all of them wasted.

[The Golden Tamarind]

Legends of the Tamarindo

Well the multiverse is watching and what does the multiverse know of Tamarindian football? It is true, we messed up our entry into the Baptism of Fire and World Cup last time around with an embarrassingly late and incomplete application. And true also that subsequent to that gaff, our under-21s came fourth in an amatuers competition in the nation of Johz, and third in the Beach Cup, and second in the di Bradini Cup, and first in the last World Indoor Soccer Championships. But what of the grown ups? We'll they are in the semi-finals of the Draggonnii Inviyatti, and they did beat former World Champions Dorian and Sonia to get there. Right now they are wondering how to get back to Mangolana tonight in time for their first match of BoF 44. One thing the world will discover is that the average Tamarindo is late for everything. Including football tournaments.

Of our present team the multiverse will discover their disorganisation, and their brevity, and their naïve brand of defensive football all in good time. Where are they from? What are their roots, their traditions? In this series, The Legends of the Tamarindo, we explore some of the great moments and people, and the not-so-great, that have defined a nation's obsession with the sport. To begin with, Quintillo Zamora: perhaps no-one more aptly embodies the spirit of Tamarindo football than The Greatest Tamarindo To Hardly Kick A Ball, the legendary winger for the Brown Bombers of Ateo.

---

#46. Quintillo Zamora
Arsenal Ateo, 1958 – 1969

Zamora was a one club man, having signed for the Brown Bombers at the age of 17 after being discovered by Ateo's chief scout playing in the tugurios, or barrios, of Anarquía. In an injury-plagued career he played less than sixty games for Ateo in nine years, as outside right – or the wing as we know it today – before his premature retirement.

The Orphan

Nobody really knows where Quintillo Zamora came from. Some say he was the illegitimate child of a senior syndicalist abandoned and left for dead. Some say he was left outside a baker shop by a mad woman who walked her children tied by the wrist with string, and that she had tied him to a lamp post while she bought bread, and then forgot about him. The superstitious claim he was a cousin of the jumping monkey. An orphan of the tugurios, he grew up on the streets of Anarquía, plying a youthful trade as pickpocket, scavenger, cantinera hound, trickster, mud lark and ragamuffin. In a violent world he was not known himself for violence but lived amongst it for all his formative years; however being sharp of mind and preternaturally quick in the leg, he was more suited to stealth, opportunism and flight raiding rather than brute force stick-ups and muggings. Senior gang members of the tugurios recalled that he would join in with the ubiquitous street football matches, and from the age of eight or nine would show a clean pair of heels to boys twice his age and size. He was about seventeen – for no-one, including Quintillo knew for sure – when Alfonso Zamora, the scout for Ateo, a venerable old man not afraid to dive the darkest depths to find a gem, discovered him, kicking an old ball in a street match. Quintillo was by then something of a legend in tugurios football, and Alfonso Zamora found him by paying off local hoodlums for the nod. And they nodded at Quintillo.

The Outside Right

Adopting the name of the man who found him – he said later that this was not loyalty so much as the first name that came into his mind, and nothing to do with having picked the old man's pocket and clocked his syndicate membership card – Quintillo Zamora happily moved to the city of Ateo to play football for the National Standard Wage, three meals a day and a guaranteed bed: the same one each night indefinitely. The club were very impressed – Zamora was as fast as a whippet on a train, and had two good feet. In his first season he was ever-present, racking up 30 appearances, twelve goals, and quickly becoming the darling of the Brown Bombers. All over the country there was talk of the Orphan of Ateo, and his magical pace. A freak injury six games into his second season ruled him out for the rest of that and the next season. After that, he was to play only another 22 games throughout a troubled and injury hit career, which he finally called a day on at the age of (approximately) twenty-six. He became known afterward as The Greatest Tamarindo To Hardly Kick A Ball.

The First Injury

Impetuous, cheeky, and committed to having fun, the disastrous first injury – a broken kneecap – was symptomatic of his whole, short, career in football. Turning out in a home game for Arsenál against Escolástico in 1959, he was giving the fullback Gallardo a torrid time on the flank, as the bombers, then amongst the football elite, raced into a 6-0 lead before halftime. Keen to demonstrate he had not taken his foot off the gas after half time (allegedly against the instructions of the manager of the day) Zamora decided on some exhibition football to taunt the enraged Gallardo. After nutmegging him three times in the opening five minutes of the second half, and once lobbing the ball over him and running around, he attempted – and succeeded – into confusing Gallardo with a series of step-overs and feints. Gallardo, losing what was left of his patience and dignity, roared the sort of howl that Quintillo Zamora recognised from his days on the street as the red-misted murder rage, whereupon the Orphan of Ateo took flight – with ball at feet, on a run threatening the land speed record. It was mid-flight that he met Perruna, a spotted Tamar terrier and sometime pitch invader at Estadio Dalmacio Casanova. Perruna tackled Zamora, a feat which the Escolástico players had failed to do in fifty minutes of football, and for good luck managed to trip Gallardo and come away with the match ball. Gallardo, angry, cumbersome, and moving with the speed of blind fury, came crashing down upon Zamora, to as good as end the career of one of the best. Eight years of injuries, rehabilitation, recalls, breakdowns and recurrences followed for The Greatest Tamarindo To Hardly Kick A Ball.

The Gun Trick

Never far from his tumultuous and often violent upbringing in the tugurios, Quintillo Zamora flirted with danger even more off the pitch than on, as the story of the gun trick clearly illustrates. After the incident in question it emerged that Zamora had carried a pistol in his possession for most of his adult life, more out of habit and as a way of showing off his trick, rather than with any heartfelt need for protection. 'Just in case' he would say, but just in case of what, he never said. The trick was this: he would get a volunteer, usually a reluctant one, from among his team-mates, and ask him to stand against the wall with an apple or a tamar red mango on his head; the hapless and rather dim Erasto Sotelo, a fine defender but incompetent human being, Zamora's team-mate and best friend, was often the reluctant volunteer. Quintillo would stand like a cowboy in one of his beloved westerns, with the gun in his pocket, as if on a holster, and quote lines from the famous Tamarindian cowboy actor Germinal Perales: No-one handles the pony; Va basta! - prepare to go down; or, I got me a mountain of saddle sores looking for you, Enrique, and I intend to salve them. Then Quintillo Zamora would pull out his gun, fire an empty chamber – click! And the red mango would split in half, as if by magic. In fact, with all eyes on the gun, Zamora would use sleight of hand to fling a small dagger at the fruit, for he was a lethal thrower of knives from his days on the streets of Anarquía.

On the last occasion he tried this trick, things went awry and once more Quintillo Zamora ended up injured, although he didn't have the worst of it. For some inexplicable reason the gun was loaded. Zamora said his line, I'm putting you down, Ovidio, pulled his gun, fired, and the weapon discharged a cracking report. If the sequence had been filmed, at full speed it would've appeared that Zamora, poor Ernesto, and the man sitting next to him as audience, Arsenál inside right Dalmacio Santacruz, all fell to the floor in quick succession. Viewed in slow motion: The knife hit the bullet in mid air. A spark struck out, a filing of steel splintered into Zamora's eye. He went down. Erasto Sotelo was already halfway there – the bullet hit his cheek, breaking the bone, diverted through the flesh and gristle of his ear, carving out a rounded punch-hole, and buried itself in the wall behind him. The knife, on a new course, hit a nail in the wall above the head of stunned onlooker Dalmacio Santacruz, and divested of most of it's momentum, dropped pommel first onto the head of Dalmacio, and knocked him unconscious.

The End

Blighted by injury, Zamora retired at the approximate age of twenty-six. Life without football found him drawn back to the tugurios, ostensibly at first to coach young players. But the life of a chancer and good-time rapscallion was never far from Quintillo, even during his playing days. Once back in the dark streets of Anarquía, he soon found himself drawn into the old conflicts and deceits. He disappeared sometime before his thirtieth birthday, and there is only rumour and conjecture for a headstone of The Greatest Tamarindo To Hardly Kick A Ball.

[Zhevalsso-zhevalsso]

Brendino the 3rd 0-2 Zhevalsso-zhevalsso

It was a brilliant note on which to begin their Baptism of Fire campaign, and coach Brian Cortier was indeed very pleased with the effort the Zhevalssoi players had put into the two-nil victory over Brendino the 3rd. The Nekolussoi and Lemalssoi were all in good spirits, and like never before there was harmony between the two ethnic groups—at least within the Zhevalsso-zhevalsso national football squad.

The game had started off slowly, with squabbling between Nekolussoi defender Telgo Tschingat and the three Lemalssoi players on the same line. But the disunity dissolved when the first goal was scored in the thirty-first minute by Jimm Kelssole, and the second just four minutes later by Eret Dorning. They played conservatively through the second half, but their win was never in doubt.

They left many thousands of local Brendino the 3rd disappointed that day. That night, the entire Zhevalssoi team had dinner together at the team hotel. Cortier was comfortable. Surrounded by gaiety, in what was a relatively safe nation, he was reminded of Stachland—whereas, in Zhevalsso-zhevalsso itself, he felt bare, exposed, a target. Few of the Stachlanders assisting in rebuilding efforts following the civil war had been killed, but it was not unheard of, and Cortier did not want to contribute to that tally.

Cortier was told to anticipate several guests over the duration of his stay in Qazox, and the first, fellow National Series goalkeeper Antoine Bucholz, arrived the night of the Zhevalssoi team’s first victory. He would remain until the day after the next match against Zoobians, at which point he would return to Stachland and the next group of guests would arrive.

Smiling, Cortier stood up to congratulate his players on a game well won. They would surely lose sight of their current happiness, and bickering would resume soon enough, but until then, he felt very much at ease, and he would seek to retain that feeling for as long as possible.

[Mangolana]

You know, in a lot of horror movies, peoples limbs end up getting CUT-OFF, which is what will happen to you now

Ordonez Group, Played at Republic Stadium
Tal Vararr 2-2 Arcatea
Camwood 2-0 Trimasia

Ordonez Standings

   Team           P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Gyatso-kai     1 1 0 0  3  1 +2  3
 2 Camwood        1 1 0 0  2  0 +2  3
 3 Mapletish      1 1 0 0  1  0 +1  3
 4 Arcatea        2 0 1 1  2  3 -1  1 
 5 Tal Vararr     2 0 1 1  3  5 -2  1
 6 Trimasia       1 0 0 1  0  2 -2  0


Montgomery Group, Played at Mascona Memorial stadium
Eggy216 0-1 Osesnsasandaes
Nicole Scherzinger 3-0 The Vuhifellian States
New Gaelicia 0-0 Tryienne

Montgomery Standings

   Team                       P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Nicole Scherzinger         2 2 0 0  5  1 +4  6
 2 Tryienne                   2 1 1 0  2  1 +1  4
 3 Wadomia                    1 1 0 0  1  0 +1  3
 4 Osesnsasandaes             2 1 0 1  2  2 +0  3
 5 New Gaelicia               1 0 1 0  0  0 +0  1
 6 Eggy216                    2 0 0 2  0  2 -2  0
 7 The Vuhifellian States     2 0 0 2  1  5 -4  0

Shogun Group, Played at Calss Flienberg Stadium
Greater Coventry 1-1 Braxil
Iphmopf 3-2 Freezingland

Shogun Standings

   Team                     P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Braxil                   2 1 1 0  3  1  +2  4
 2 Greater Coventry         2 1 1 0  2  1  +1  4
 3 Iphmopf                  1 1 0 0  3  2  +1  3
 4 Freezingland             1 0 0 1  2  3  -1  0
 5 The Peterwood Estate     1 0 0 1  0  1  -1  0
 6 Lonaga                   1 0 0 1  0  2  -2  0

Jimenez Group, Played at Mangolana City Stadium
Cygning 3-3 Rouge Pioneers
Miley World 1-0 Ohio Island
The Golden Tamarind 2-0 Hladio Huggers

Jimenez Standings

   Team                    P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Cygning                 2 1 1 0  8  7  +1  4
 2 Miley World             2 1 1 0  1  0  +1  4
 3 The Golden Tamarind     1 1 0 0  2  0  +2  3
 4 Hladio Huggers          2 1 0 1  2  2  +0  3
 5 Rouge Pioneers          2 0 2 0  3  3  +0  2
 6 Hippostania             1 0 0 1  4  5  -1  0
 7 Ohio Island             2 0 0 2  0  3  -3  0

[Brendino the 3rd]

First Loss in BoF Sets Back Brendino the 3rd's Hopes
After an intense week of training, Brendino the 3rd's squad couldn't hold back the high powered offense of Zhevalsso-zhevalsso. Jayden McKenzie had one of his worst performances in net, racking up only 4 saves. The Ferrets from Brendino the 3rd let up an early, momentum shifting goal in the 17th minute and never came back. Although Erik-Jan Bouwmans managed to put the ball in the net twice, both were called back due to blatant offsides by forward Joseph Pratt. Defensemen Scott Johnston was penalized for a behind the legs slide tackle in the opening minutes of the second half to set up a Zhevalsso-zhevalsso free kick that ultimately ended in the 2nd score. "We need to fix some problems with our defense and get our offense going. Its been a tough week with two of our first tournaments going on and we hope to enter the win column again and get to the top of group play." Said the coach for Brendino the 3rd. Despite some rumors of hiring a new coach if the results of the BoF and Market Cup 4 aren't acceptable, the Department of Athletics and Recreation released this comment:

The coach for Brendino the 3rd's international soccer team will not be replaced if results are unsatisfactory. He has the full faith of the nation and the team and will be supported through these preliminary results.

[Arcatea]

Skyline, Mangolana- The Arcatean National team is getting closer to a win in international play. Tonight’s game against Tal Vararr ended in a 2-2 tie, and marked the first goal for Arcatea in International play. Craig Deal, who was inserted into the Starting Lineup after sitting on the beach against Mapletish, scored both goals; the first in the 21st minute and the second to tie the game in the first minute of extra time(91st minute). For Tal Vararr, San 'El Loco' Martin and Rodrigo Joya each scored, in the 35th and 72nd minute respectively.

Mike Wilson seemed a lot more level headed after allowing 2 goals in this game, which marks his third since having over a year without allowing a goal in University play. “After the game with Mapletish, I came to realize that I am facing a lot better competition on this level and will not be able to stop every shot. It was disappointing to not win this one, but we are getting closer to playing as a whole team and a win,” said Wilson. Deal claimed “ It is difficult to come together and play as a team, when we are all used to playing against each other in the Arcatean National Collegiate Association play. We all have these deep seeded hatred towards each other normally, but when we put on the Red and Black, we all become one team. It has taken two games for us to realize that, but now we hope to play even stronger.”

Marvin Glove didn’t have much to say after the draw, “We played a lot better tonight, but we still have a way to go. I think this may be the line-up we go with for a while. Deal stepped up and played great, he has earned a spot in this line up. Our focus is now on our next game against Gyatso-kai, who is 1-0 in group play and beat Tal Vararr last night. We are hoping that the third time is the charm.”

[Qazox]

RP Cutoff For Qazox Region MD2. Scores up ASAP.

[Qazox]

Club Group
Zhevalsso-zhevalsso 1–3 Zoobians
Thatius 1–1 Seunem
Byes: Brendino the 3rd and Carmadin

Club Group              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Carmadin                1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
2 Zoobians                2   1  0  1    3   2  +1    3
3 Zhevalsso-zhevalsso     2   1  0  1    3   3   0    3
4 Seunem                  1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
  Thatius                 1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
6 Brendino the 3rd        1   0  0  1    0   2  −2    0

Diamond Group
Yiland 0–0 Howdeellow
Dixie Provinces 1–1 Triimoria
The Kytler Peninsulae 2–0 Côte de Platine
Bye: Skalholt

Diamond Group           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Triimoria               2   1  1  0    3   1  +2    4
2 The Kytler Peninsulae   1   1  0  0    2   0  +2    3
3 Côte de Platine         2   1  0  1    2   2   0    3
4 Howdeellow              2   0  2  0    0   0   0    2
5 Skalholt                1   0  1  0    0   0   0    1
6 Dixie Provinces         2   0  1  1    1   3  −2    1
7 Yiland                  2   0  1  1    0   2  −2    1

Heart Group
Krumbia 2–1 Ponoka
Lymantatia 0–2 Garon-Averia
Ipeland 0–1 Chuckio
Bye: Puttania

Heart Group             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Krumbia                 2   2  0  0    4   2  +2    6
2 Chuckio                 2   1  1  0    2   1  +1    4
3 Garon-Averia            2   1  0  1    3   2  +1    3
4 Puttania                1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
5 Ponoka                  2   0  1  1    2   3  −1    1
6 Lymantatia              2   0  1  1    1   3  −2    1
7 Ipeland                 1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

Spade Group
Euskirribakondara 1–0 Beldonia
Blutrieger 3–0 Deep Freid Bacon
Byes: Kazerjan and Megadia

Spade Group           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Euskirribakondara       2   2  0  0    3   0  +3    6
2 Blutrieger              1   1  0  0    3   0  +3    3
3 Megadia                 1   0  1  0    3   3   0    1
4 Beldonia                2   0  1  1    3   4  −1    1
5 Kazerjan                1   0  0  1    0   2  −2    0
6 Deep Freid Bacon        1   0  0  1    0   3  −3    0

[Krumbia]

Krumbia 2–1 Ponoka

Krumbia's second win of the tournament...

01' The match begins.
28' Patterson is crossed the ball into the box by Donovon. He heads it passed the goalkeepers fingers into the net.
42' O'Sullivan shoves Lloyd and gets a yellow card. Lloyd takes the kick but misses.
45' Halftime.
62' Meadows clears it, but Ponoka brings it right back at them. Leblanc manages to get passed and scores their first goal.
74'' Harding scores the second goal. Making the score 2-1.
90' The match ends.

Ponoka 1
62' Leblanc

Krumbia 2
28' Patterson
74' Harding