Encyclopedia Fatatatutica (Closed)

[Fatatatutti]

Militia

Fatatatutti's Militia - colloquially called the 'Army' - is an all-volunteer force whose role is restricted to defense of the island of Fatatatutti.

Mobility

The major point of Fatatatutian military doctrine is the ability to get troops to trouble spots quickly and in sufficient concentration to repel any invader. (As one officer once put it, "Get there fastest with the mostest.")

Infantry

The bulk of the Fatatatutian Militia consists of infantry. Most light infantry regiments are organized similarly to parachute units (see below) to facilitate air mobility - i.e. so they can be transported by air, though not delivered by parachute. However, heavy infantry units are often organized into 10 per squad, forty per platoon, 160 per company, 640 per batallion and so on.

Equipment

Standard-issue infantry equipment includes:

• Weapon - assault rifle or carbine. Officers are permitted to purchase their own sidearm to carry instead of a carbine. Soldiers assigned to the Squad Automatic Weapon (SAW) sometimes carry a personal defense weapon as well. For any other soldier, carrying two kinds of ammunition is strongly discouraged.
• Weapon Maintenance Kit (WMK) - commonly called a 'wonk'.
• Helmet - complete with liner and cover.
• Web Gear - consisting of belt, suspenders, ammunition pouches, haversack and various attachment straps.
• Bayonet - carried in the boot, strapped to the leg, on the belt, or inside or outside the haversack.
• 4x Hand Grenades - 2x fragmentation and 2x smoke.
• Folding Shovel
• 2x Canteens - 1 to 1.5 liter capacity. One is usually carried on the belt and one in the haversack.
• Bedroll and Ground Sheet
• Rain Poncho
• Mess Kit
• Rations - usually for 3 days - i.e. 9 or more MREs (Meal, Ready to Eat). When operating in isolated areas, soldiers sometimes carry 7 days of rations or more.
• Can Opener - often carried with the ID tags.
• Portable Stove and Fuel
• Water-Purification Tablets
• First-Aid Kit
• Field Dressings
• Sewing Kit

Training

Since all recruits are volunteers, they are expected to be motivated when they arrive. The training program is designed to teach them how to use that motivation productively.

Instead of a separate 'Boot Camp', recruits are sent to real field units for basic training. They are familiarized with their weapons by using them. They are required to demonstrate a reasonable level of marksmanship as well as the ability to disassemble and reassemble their weapons blindfolded.

Recruits are trained in small-unit tactics by ambushing highly-trained elite troops.

Most Fatatatutian schools teach first aid, so recruits improve their proficiency by learning how to treat battle-related injuries.

They are also trained to navigate across-country with or without a compass and to live off the land. Near the end of their basic training, they are required to complete a week-long march through the bush to a pre-assigned location, carrying nothing with them but their weapons and ammunition. To pass the test, they must arrive at the rendezvous on time, ready for combat, in good condition, with no weight-loss, etc.

There is no fixed length of time for basic training. Recruits who are inducted at the same time do not necessarily 'graduate' at the same time. Each one is graduated when he or she is deemed to be ready.

After completing this level of basic training, recruits are invited to join the unit as a regular member or a reserve member. They are given further training based on their assigned job specialty.

Paratroopers

Because the capacity of the standard C-130 transport is 64 fully-equiped troopers, parachute units are organized around a platoon size of 32 and a squad size of 8. A company is 128 troopers, a battalion is 512 and so on.

Commandos

Commandos are trained in special techniques - e.g. rappelling from helicopters - for special missions. Unlike the vast majority of Fatatatutians, almost all commandos can swim. They are equiped and armed for the mission at hand.

They are usually organized in squads of 8 and platoons of 32 to facilitate parachute drops. A standard Commando has 128 members and there is no further organization above that level. Because of the highly-specialized and demanding nature of their training and missions, a Commando is usually commanded by a Major or Colonel.

Armour

Fatatatutti's rugged terrain makes armoured operations difficult except for narrow strips of land along the coast. Farther inland, bridges are not built to support heavy tanks, so operations are limited to light tanks and armoured cars.

The role of armoured units is generally to protect coastal installations, such as port facilities. Wheeled armoured cars are used for scouting and skirmishing. Some infantry fighting vehicles are used by heavy infantry units, in conjucntion with tanks.

Foreign Regiments

Fatatatutti has several regiments that are composed largely of people of foreign origin.

After the Crozet Peace Force crisis (see Peacekeeping), when Fatatatutti created its own Fatatatutti Peace Force, a large number of Drachslander and Borickian troops were reluctant to leave the command of Gen. Castro-Stalina to return to their own countries. To permit them to stay in Fatatatutti, a Drachslander Regiment and a Borickio Regiment were formed and the members were given Fatatatutian citizenship.

Another example is the Fallschirmjager Regiment, which is composed of immigrants of German extraction.

These foreign regiments within the Militia should not be confused with the Foreign Legion which is a separate body not officially connected to the Militia.

Air Corps

The Air Corps operates from small airfields all over the island. Some of them are so short that improvized arrester gear and safety barriers are provided.

The roles of the Army Air Corps include:

• intercepting carrier-based aircraft (combat air patrol)
• attacking amphibious landing zones
• reconnaisance (low-altitude and high-altitude)
• transport

Ranks

• Private Recruit
• Private
• Corporal
• Sergeant
• Lieutenant
• Captain
• Major
• Colonel
• General

Uniforms

Infantry wear jungle camouflage, though a plain green T-shirt is often substituted for the camouflage shirt in warm weather. Regular infantry wear a green beret and paratroopers wear a red beret.

Commandos wear regular infantry uniforms except on special night missions when they often wear all black.

Armoured crews wear green coveralls and a black beret or a helmet.

Aircrews wear khaki coveralls and black baseball caps.

There are no dress uniforms.

Funding

Although it is seen as a joke by some foreigners, the Fatatatutian armed forces are funded entirely by civilian contributions, especially bake sales. The families of soldiers take great pride in providing the best possible equipment and supplies for their sons and daughters.

[Fatatatutti]

Health Care

Healthcare in Fatatatutti is free for anybody who needs it, citizens and visitors alike. Short-term visitors, e.g. tourists, who require healthcare while in Fatatatutti are asked to make a contribution but it is strictly voluntary.

Basic healthcare is readily available, except in some rural areas where communication and transportation are an issue. There is an extensive air-ambulance network and a Flying Doctor Service (FDS) to alleviate such difficulties.

Since Fatatatutti is not a rich country, access to specialists, equipment and testing can be problematic. Wherever possible, patients are brought to larger centers where such facilities are available. Accomodation is free during the patient's stay.

When necessary, patients are flown to neighbouring countries, with which Fatatatutti has a network of reciprocal arrangements. All expenses are paid by the Ministry of Health.

Fatatatutti also sponsors healthcare for less fortunate countries overseas through the Fatatatutti Relief Organization (FRO), a privately-run agency which is largely funded by the Ministry of Health and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Fatatatutti trains as many healthcare professionals as possible at the Medical Schools of Fatatatutti University (FU), located at several campuses around the island. These schools are funded jointly by the Ministry of Health and the Ministry of Education, at no cost to the students.

Foreign healthcare professionals are also encouraged to live and work in Fatatatutti but there are no positive incentives at the present time.

[Fatatatutti]

Smith Family

The first Smith to settle in Fatatatutti was, appropriately enough, a blacksmith. He jumped ship from a whaler and set up a shop to repair the tools bought from white traders by the native Fatatatutians. Eventually, he married a native girl and founded the prominent Smith family of Fatatatutti. It is said that all Smiths in Fatatatutti are descended from 'The Smith'.

[Fatatatutti]

Beaches

Fatatatutti has more than 35,000 kilometers of coastline, if which about 30,000 kilometers is beaches. Most of them are white-sand beaches but they also vary from yellow to tan and even pink.

Thousand-Mile Beach

One of the greatest natural wonders of Fatatatutti is the Thousand-Mile Beach. Actually more than 1900 kilometers long and varying from 90 meters to 3 kilometers wide and consisting of fine white sand, it stretches along much of the north and west coasts of the island.

Accessible only by boat, aircraft and footpaths, it attracts locals and tourists alike. Some of the best surfing in Fatatatutti is on the northern stretches during the winter.

Thousand-Mile Beach is protected by act of Parliament and a sizeable flotilla of submarines.

[Fatatatutti]

Hunting

Hunting is popular in Fatatatutti, the biggest game available being the wild boars that still roam the interior. Traditional hunting, with nothing but a spear and a loincloth, requires no license - but hunting with guns, or even bows and arrows, is highly restricted.

Since Fatatatutian culture has a strict eat-what-you-kill ethic, hunting for trophies alone is strictly prohibited.

[Fatatatutti]

Education

All education in Fatatatutti is free, from pre-school to post-doctoral studies. Basic textbooks are provided and accomodations are subsidized. Students are responsible for providing their own extras and beer.

Primary and Secondary Schools

Primary and secondary education revolve around three main areas:

• Academics: Emphasis is on the basics - reading, writing, arithmetic, science, history, geography. Art and music are also integrated into the schools but are not considered part of the curriculum.
• Athletics: Emphasis is on health, fitness and participation rather than on competition. Children are encouraged to improve themselves rather than comparing themselves to others.
• Social Responsibility: Children are encouraged to participate in charity work, fund-raising, etc. both on an individual basis and as part of class projects.

Fatatatutti University (FU)

Fatatatutti University was founded as St. Mary's College by Jesuits in the late 1800s. When the shortage of qualified faculty became critical in the 1940s, it was sold to the government of Fatatatutti for the sum of one coconut, and soon became the core of Fatatatutti's post-secondary education system.

Affectionately called by students 'Fatatuni' in the north and 'Unitutti' in the south, the university features a 'distributed campus' with facilities in most major cities. The liberal arts programs begun by the Jesuits are a mainstay of Fatatatutian culture while the newer science and technology programs contribute to research and development in Fatatatutti and the world. Many of Fatatatutti's leading scholars, artists and cab drivers are alumni.

Today, through Internet technology, the university is available to the most isolated parts of the island, as well as abroad.

Some other educational institutions, which were once independent but which are now affiliated with FU include:

• Harwood University
• Laudanum School of Economics
• Fatatatutti Institute of Technology (FIT)

Adult Education

Adult education is focused on two main areas:

• Upgrading skills for use in employment
• Improving quality of life

Libraries

All public libraries in Fatatatutti operate under the umbrella of the Ministry of Education.

The Central Library is one of the most substantial buildings in Fatatatutti because people aren't damaged much by the weather but books are. A copy of every book published in Fatatatutti is donated to the library (and Book Publishing is one of Fatatatutti's major industries). There are also extensive collections of foreign books.

The Central Library is funded by the Ministry of Education and by private donations, notably from the Nagy Carnandru Foundation.

There are a number of branches throughout the capital and in other cities. Books are exchanged among the branches to ensure maximum access to every Fatatatutian, no matter where they live. There are even mobile libraries, converted from school buses, which bring books to the most remote areas.

[Fatatatutti]

Standard Oil of Fatatatutti

Standard Oil of Fatatatutti (SOF) is the largest petroleum company on the island. Founded more than a century ago by John D. Cardiston and mostly owned by the Cardiston family ever since, SOF is involved in exploration in Fatatatutti and abroad and in processing and shipping.

Standard Oil of Fatatatutti operates a fleet of tankers that moves petroleum and petroleum products in every corner of the world. It also leases a small fleet of converted ships from McAleskie's for exploration purposes:

• Oil Creek, with helicopter and floatplane for scouting
• Juan de la Cierva, with heavy-lifter Skycrane helicopter
• Devonian Challenger, with two drill rigs, plus trucks and accessories

[Fatatatutti]

Internet

More than 80% of Fatatatutian homes have an Internet connection. In urban areas, connections are often by telephone lines or television cables. In rural areas and in homes that don't have telephones, connection is by satellite. Wireless connections are also becoming more common.

Some of the most popular websites based in Fatatatutti include the search engines Giggle and Yee-Haw and the information site, FatataPedia.

Fatatatutti's largest Internet Service Provider (ISP) is the Fatatatutti Post Office (FPO).

[Fatatatutti]

Dive! Dive!

Dive! Dive! is Fatatatutti's most popular submarine sandwich shop, with hundreds of locations across the island. The menu consists of three main sections:

• Fish Class (named after the famous Fish Class submarimes of Fatatatutti's Navy) - your choice of fresh seafood, with vegetables and sauces
• Pig Class - your choice of ham, bacon and/or real (boneless) barbecued ribs, with vegetables and sauces
• Cow Class - your choice of roast beef or barbecued beef, with vegetables and sauces

[Fatatatutti]

Food

Food is a very important part of Fatatatutian culture. Almost every event, whether social, government or business, revolves around food.

The Luau

The definitive characteristic of Fatatatutian food is the luau. A luau is a cultural event as well as a meal, often including entertainment, hula dancing and fireworks. However, a luau is not always a 'special' event, since any meal where others are invited is often called a luau.

The luau menu requires roast pig, or at least barbecued pig. (Some people would call a beef barbecue a luau but that would horrify purists.) Other traditional fare includes two kinds of poi, roast chicken, sea food and fresh fruits and vegetables.

'The Perfect Food'

In Fatatatutti, 'the perfect food' is considered to be the pig, since you can have bacon for breakfast, ham for lunch, whole roast pig for supper and barbecue for snacks.

Ethnic Foods

Due to Fatatatutti's open-door immigration policy, there are a lot of ethnic communities. Fatatatutians have been quick to adopt many ethnic dishes as their own, so 'home-cooking' often includes lasagna, chili, spring rolls, stuffed peppers, tacos, cabbage rolls, perogies, etc.

Fast Foods

Fatatatutians have a different idea of speed than many other cultures, so 'fast food' generally refers to any foods that can be eaten without utensils rather than the actual time taken to prepare and eat them. Popular fast foods include sandwiches (hot and cold), pizza, barbecued ribs, various items on a stick, ice cream, etc.

Fast-food 'restaurants' range from those with counter service to those with only drive-through or walk-through service. There are also a lot of street vendors selling fast foods.

Snack Foods

In Fatatatutti, the line between fast food and snacks is blurred, but snacks are generally considered to be anything that you can carry on your person in case you get hungry. Typical snack foods include potato chips, peanuts, granola bars, candy, etc.

Some companies have experimented with pre-packaged pocket-sized pizza slices, barbecued ribs, etc. that will keep for several weeks until opened.

[Fatatatutti]

Energy

Fatatatutti is still largely dependent on fossil fuels for energy. Most ground, sea and air transport uses petroleum-based fuels. A few small wood-burning railroads still exist.

Some experiments have been done with solar-powered cars and the results are promising. Wind-powered ships are sometimes used for coastal trade but seem impractical for long-distance ocean use.

Because of the mild climate, little energy is used for heating or cooling. Household energy use is limited to refrigeration, lighting, entertainment, etc.

There is no electrical 'grid' per se. Municipalities maintain their own power plants, usually fired by fossil fuels, though a few are hydroelectric. Some municipal systems are connected to their neighbours and can share power when necessary.

More isolated dwellings often have their own generators and many are converting to solar power as technology improves. Near the coast, wind-powered generators are practical for home use but no large-scale wind farms have been attempted yet.

Fatatatutti avoids the use of nuclear energy because of the high cost, the difficulty of cleanup and the association with weapons.

[Fatatatutti]

Kalikimaka Family

'Kalikimaka' is not a tradtional Fatatatutian native name. Rather, it is a fatatatuticization of the English word, 'Christmas'. It is not known how long the Kalikimaka family have been using that name or what their original name was.

The Kalikimaka family are best known as the owners of the Kalikimaka Ranch, the largest - and some say the only - cattle ranch on the island of Fatatatutti. The ranch comprises more than 50,000 hectares of leased land and the herd has been estimated at anywhere from 30,000 to 100,000 head.

[Fatatatutti]

Kono Family

The Kono family is one of the oldest native Fatatatutian families on the island, reputedly going back to the first Fatatatutian settlers more than a thousand years ago. They have a long and distinguished naval history. Almost every significant vessel boasts at least one Kono as a member of its crew at one time or another, often serving as quartermaster or boatswain.

The Konos never go by their given names, if indeed they have any. They are always known to their crewmates only as 'Kono'.

[Fatatatutti]

Geography

Location

Fatatatutti is an island located in the central Pacific Ocean, near the equator. It has an area of nearly eight million square kilometers and more than 35,000 kilometers of coastline.

Terrain

Fatatatutti is mostly mountainous, with elevations rising to a few hundred meters. In the southwest, there is a fairly flat plateau covering nearly a million square kilometers.

Most of Fatatatutti is covered by forest, which ranges from rain forest and dense jungle to relatively sparse scrub. The southwest plateau has some areas of open savannah grassland. All of the treed areas are colloquially called 'the bush'.

Climate

The year-round average temperature is 26 degrees Celsius.

[Fatatatutti]

Focker

Fatatatutian soccer, irreverently known as 'Focker', is an informal variation of the game, played by children. Typically, up to thirty players are on the field at one time, along with one or more balls and one or more goals. The object of the game is to chase the ball and get it into one of the goals, which may or may not be guarded by one or more goalkeepers.

The players are usually not organized into teams and the score is usually just a cumulative total of all goals. Scores can vary from zero into the dozens. Players can substitute on or off whenever they feel like it, so games can go on for hours.

Focker is based on the principle of everybody getting a chance to play and everybody having fun. Children over twelve years old sometimes prefer a more organized variation of soccer.

[Fatatatutti]

Castro-Stalina Family

The Castro and Stalina families have been amalgamated for generations. The Castros were originally Hispanic and the Stalinas were Slavic. 'Stalina' was originally spelled with an 'e' at the end, but English speakers tended to pronounce it Sta-LINE, so the 'e' was changed to an 'a' to reflect the proper pronunciation, Sta-LEE-nah.

Gen. Carlos Maximiliano 'Mad Max' Castro-Stalina

'Mad Max' Castro-Stalina reorganized Fatatatutti's paratroopers in the 1950s, standardizing the organization of platoons and companies to fit the aircraft. He was in command of the 365th Parachute Division in 1952 when it earned the nickname of 'Tuesday Division'.

Gen. Marie-Louise Castro-Stalina

His granddaughter, Marie-Louise, was a teenage kung fu champion when a motorcycle accident kept her out of the Fatatatutti Games and steered her career path toward the Army. Her leadership abilities were noticed early on and she rose rapidly through the ranks to her first major command, the 69th Lesbian Light Infantry Regiment. One of her proudest achievements was when she later rose to the command of her grandfather's 365th Parachute Division.

She is best known for her peacekeeping acivities in the Crozet Peace Force, later to become the Fatatatutti Peace Force (see Peacekeeping). After retiring from the Army, she undertook various diplomatic missions for the government of Fatatatutti.

[Fatatatutti]

69th Lesbian Light Infantry Regiment

The 69th Lesbian Light Infantry is one of the most prestigious regiments in Fatatatutti's armed forces. Elements of the 69th have served in almost every major operation since its inception in the 1920s. Its most famous commander was a very young Col. Marie-Louise Castro-Stalina.

Contrary to popular misconception, the 69th consists of lesbian women, heterosexual women and both homosexual and heterosexual men. There is no discrimination within Fatatatutti's armed forces and all units are similarly integrated. The 69th has the designation 'Lesbian' only because it was formed in commemoration of our lesbian sisters.

Today, every Fatatatutian soldier is proud to serve alongside the 69th and there is a long waiting list to transfer in.

[Fatatatutti]

Economics

Currency

Fatatatutti's first currency was made from coconut shells. When the first metal cocos were minted, they too had the characteristic dished shape of the coconut-shell coins. Later on, paper money was printed in the same circular format.

Today, cocos are universally accepted at par with the Universal Standard Dollar (USD). Prices are typically quoted as "x cocos or x USD, your choice." It is estimated that 80% of the currency in everyday use is USD.



Taxation

Income taxes are an average of 100% (much higher for the rich). However, since Fatatatutti has a healthy Black Market, producing more than 50% of the GDP which is untaxed, the actual tax rate is closer to 45%.

Credit

Popular credit cards include First National Bakery and Tim Horton's.

Credit ratings are determined by the firm of Bun and Radstreet.

[Fatatatutti]

Small-Mart

Small-Mart is one of the leading retail companies in Fatatatutti. Founded by Harlan Small in the 1950s, today Small-Mart reputedly has more than 100,000 stores across Fatatatutti.

While each store is small, sometimes less than 100 square meters, the Small-Mart chain prides itself on handling a very wide range of merchandize, from groceries to hardware to housewares and clothing. This is accomplished by maintaining an elaborate computerized inventory system, which can determine at a moment's notice where the desired product is located. You can walk into your neighbourhood store and ask for a 14-millimeter lug-wrench and within minutes, they can tell you which store has one in stock. Then the item can be put on hold for you, or it can be brought to your local store or even delivered to your home.

Some critics have suggested that the real reason for the small stores is to discourage unionization.

[Fatatatutti]

Transportation

Roads

Fatatatutti's road systems are generally built and maintained by local municipalities. National standards are guaranteed by additional funding from the Ministry of Transport.

The best roads tend to be near the coast, since the population is concentrated there and the terrain is fairly flat. Many major roads are paved but more than two lanes is uncommon. The Coast Road purportedly goes all the way around the island but some of the more remote sections tend to be in disrepair and long detours are common.

Farther inland, there is a more haphazard network of roads and trails.

Automobiles

The typical automobile in Fatatatutti was built in the early 1960s and has an engine of approximately 500cc. Parts are still made for several popular models, including the Mitsubishi 500 and the Fiat 500.

Taxis

Taxis in Fatatatutti are usually unmarked. Many people use their cars as taxis in their spare time to make extra money. The standard fare is ten cocos or ten USD, passenger's choice.

Buses

Buses in Fatatatutti are clearly marked 'Bus' on the side, to avoid confusion. Many buses are 'gypsy' buses - i.e. they don't follow a prescribed route but go wherever the passengers want to go. Passengers boarding the bus tell the driver where they want to go and the driver adjusts the route to accomodate the destination.

Trucks

Deliveries and short-range hauling are typically done by trucks with a quarter-ton to half-ton capacity and engines up to 660cc. Larger trucks, usually diesel-powered, are used for heavy hauling - e.g. gravel - and for long-distance hauling.

Licensing

Cars, taxis, trucks and buses are supposed to be licensed but there is little or no enforcement. Licensing is seen mostly as a form of identification, so that police can return 'borrowed' vehicles to their legal owners. Most motorists, however, just put a card with their name and address on the dashboard.

Similarly, drivers are supposed to be licensed, especially to drive buses and other large vehicles. Enforcement is similarly lax.

Railroads

The only railroads in Fatatatutti at present are narrow guage (usually 1 meter or less) short lines used by lumber companies to collect logs and bring them to the mills. Most locomotives are steam-powered and burn wood.

There have been proposals for long-distance inter-city passenger trains, but no definite plans are in effect.

Shipping

Fatatatutti has a large fleet of ocean-going merchant vessels of every type from tankers to refrigerated ships to general cargo ships. Smaller vessels are often used for coastal shipping because road facilities for large and bulky cargoes are limited.

All ships registered in Fatatatutti must maintain high safety standards and high labour standards.

There are no navigable rivers in Fatatatutti, nor are there any deep-water harbours. Large ships must use long jetties for loading/unloading, or use lighters to ferry passengers and cargo back and forth.

Airports

Most of Fatatatutti's international air traffic goes through Fatatatutti International Airport in the capital, Fatatatutti. Airports in the other major cities are used mostly for more local travel.

Throughout the island, there are a variety of airfields, from paved runways used by the military down to dirt and grass strips used by civilians and emergency services. Fatatatutian pilots tend to be cocky, so runways tend to be short. Even so, there are few accidents.

Several of the larger cities also operate facilities for seaplanes.

Airlines

Fatatatutti's national airline is Air Fatatatutti (also known as Fatatatutti Air, depending on which end the signpainters started from). Its slogan is "Every flight a non-stop luau". The aircraft will not land until the food is gone, so there are in-flight refuelling agreements in place with several strategically-placed nations around the world.

AirBox is a company that specializes in air cargo.

There are also a number of regional airlines which operate smaller aircraft out of smaller airfields all around the island.

[Fatatatutti]

Alphonse

Alphonse is a duck. Some say he's a domestic duck but he's never been known to even help with the dishes. He spends most of his time sleeping and eating. He likes canned asparagus and peas, not at the same time. He also eats bugs.

Contrary to common misconception, Alphonse is not the duck in the cartoon who is arguing with the coconut.

[Fatatatutti]

H-20 Helicopter

Affectionately known as the 'H-two-oh' by its crews, the H-20 is a helicopter used by Fatatatutti's Coast Guard for search-and-rescue, transport and anti-submarine duties.

Although it is officially classified as amphibious, water landings and take-offs are considered too dangerous to be done routinely and are only done in case of emergency. H-20s are based on land or on frigates.

Specifications

• Dimensions: Length 16.7 m, Height 5.13 m, Rotor diameter 19 m
• Weight: 5,380 kg empty, 8,450 kg loaded, 10,000 kg max
• Powerplant: 2× 1,400 kW turboshafts
• Speed: 267 km/h
• Range: 1000 km
• Ceiling: 4,400 m
• Rate of climb: 400-670 m/min
• Crew: 4
• Armament: torpedoes, depth charges, door guns, sonobuoys and pyrotechnic devices, depending on the role.

The H-20 was developed by Indusky Aircraft with the assistance of the Takeapenny Arsenal and the Fatatatutti Institute of Technology (FIT) aerospace engineering department.

[Fatatatutti]

Ball, Arthur

Arthur 'Cannon' Ball was a prolific Fatatatutian author who wrote a long series of mystery novels, including The Hounted Howitzer, The Counter Fitter Returns and Jesus was a Car Painter. Featured characters included eccentric detective Dreadlock Jones, his sidekick Captain Dobson and their nemesis, the dull-witted Police Inspector Street.

When asked how he figured out his complex plots, Ball said that he started in the middle and worked toward the beginning and end at the same time. He was also known to be ambidextrous.

[Fatatatutti]

Cities

The only Fatatatutian city that goes by a name is Fatatatutti, the capital. Its name is mostly for the convenience of foreigners, who expect a capital to have a name.

There are a few places that are known by a descriptive name, such as The-Village-at-the-Northernmost-Point-on-the-Island-of-Fatatatutti, but most settlements are known simply as 'town'. Going to 'town' means going to the nearest settlement, even if it is a city of millions.

Neighbourhoods are often known by name - e.g. Long Beach - but, of course, almost every city has a Long Beach, so the local version is assumed.

Fatatatutian cities tend to be spread out for many kilometers along the coast, behind the beaches. There are no public parks per se because most of the houses are built among the trees in a natural park setting.

[Fatatatutti]

Breakfast Cereals

Although cereal is not a prominent part of breakfast in Fatatatutti, several brands are available, mostly designed to appeal to children:

• Pineapple-Os
• FatatatuttiFrutties
• Puffa Puffa Rice
• Cap'n Criggin (rum-flavoured cereal)
• Bunnie-Munches
• Coffee Krispies

Surveys show that O-shaped cereals are most popular, while flakes are least popular.