Elfen High: Don't Fear the Reaper (Arc 3)

[Rupudska]

Hades turned to Nora. "Just eat the demonic corpses, and prepare. I have a feeling we will have company."

Yuzuki returned to her normal form and grinned. "All right! I was beginning to think the demons weren't going to show up!"

[New East Ireland]

"Technically he isn't your real uncle," Malakh said, as he walked over to James. He wasn't that impressed with Hades, since Death himself was more of a... Well, God of Death. Or something.

Meanwhile, Ferdinand just stayed quiet. Hades kind of reminded him of the old heavy metal posters he had in his room before his mom kicked him out.

[Olthar]

"Eat...the demons? Fuck, do you have no sense of taste? Those things are horrid, probably some of the worst-tasting shit I've ever had. Plus, they're high in cholesterol. I'd rather eat a rotting shark anus than a demon."

Nora rolled her eyes, and leaned against the wall, waiting.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

"Uncle-In-Law." James whispered back to Malakh before turning to Raphael and giving him a big hug. "You gave me all of my study materials. If facts were wrong, that was your fault, not mine." He turned back to Hades and bowed his head. "I apologize for the mis-understanding."

[Ameriganastan]

"Eat...the demons? Fuck, do you have no sense of taste? Those things are horrid, probably some of the worst-tasting shit I've ever had. Plus, they're high in cholesterol. I'd rather eat a rotting shark anus than a demon."

Nora rolled her eyes, and leaned against the wall, waiting.

Laz shook his head.

"What is with you people? Always whining about being hungry, and when someone points out something perfectly edible to eat, you turn your nose up at it. You wouldn't last a week in Hell's forces. I've learned to eat whatever is on hand, be it regular food, a rock, or my buddy Sarius. He was real stringy...what was i talking about?...Oh yeah, quit whining."

[Olthar]

Nora raised an eyebrow at Laz.

"A week? I lived in Hell for two years before fighting my way back to Earth, and I hadn't even hit puberty yet. The only reason I left was because I was bored...And because the food sucks balls. Seriously, why would anyone willingly want to live here? That's a level of stupid that I just can't understand."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

"Uncle-In-Law." James whispered back to Malakh before turning to Raphael and giving him a big hug. "You gave me all of my study materials. If facts were wrong, that was your fault, not mine." He turned back to Hades and bowed his head. "I apologize for the mis-understanding."

"No, I bloody well didn't." the archangel argued, some life coming back into him. "You came back from your vacation and wanted to help around, so you wanted to be prepared if any known gods decided to swing by Heavensgate and chat with us, though most of them hated us- Hades is a rare exception- and I asked why, and you said you wanted to make yourself useful, so Calliel got you a few books, then you said these are the Disney versions, and useless, and I told Calliel to get the accurate ones, and then Calliel said that the accurate ones were too sinful, and then you said "Fuck it, I'll get my own sources."" Raphael said, finally taking a breath. "Then you started playing that God of War game a lot."

"That's a fun video game." Hades said mildly. "I managed to get my hands on a PC from Hep. Very fun game, though Zeus would be angry if he knew it existed."

[Ameriganastan]

Nora raised an eyebrow at Laz.

"A week? I lived in Hell for two years before fighting my way back to Earth, and I hadn't even hit puberty yet. The only reason I left was because I was bored...And because the food sucks balls. Seriously, why would anyone willingly want to live here? That's a level of stupid that I just can't understand."

"Two years? HA! I lived here until i was 616. And how could you not love it here? All the fighting you could want, getting to torture the occasional soul, meeting some really fine succubus one day on a battlefield...the only reason i left, is because they don't have cable here."

[Olthar]

Nora shrugged in response, "Like I said: boring."

Not bothering to wait for a response, she walked over to Hades, "So, are we just going to sit here and do nothing? Don't you think we should maybe do...something? I can't be the only one who feels that standing around like dumbasses is a waste of time."

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

"Uncle-In-Law." James whispered back to Malakh before turning to Raphael and giving him a big hug. "You gave me all of my study materials. If facts were wrong, that was your fault, not mine." He turned back to Hades and bowed his head. "I apologize for the mis-understanding."

"No, I bloody well didn't." the archangel argued, some life coming back into him. "You came back from your vacation and wanted to help around, so you wanted to be prepared if any known gods decided to swing by Heavensgate and chat with us, though most of them hated us- Hades is a rare exception- and I asked why, and you said you wanted to make yourself useful, so Calliel got you a few books, then you said these are the Disney versions, and useless, and I told Calliel to get the accurate ones, and then Calliel said that the accurate ones were too sinful, and then you said "Fuck it, I'll get my own sources."" Raphael said, finally taking a breath. "Then you started playing that God of War game a lot."

"That's a fun video game." Hades said mildly. "I managed to get my hands on a PC from Hep. Very fun game, though Zeus would be angry if he knew it existed."

"Which isn't what I used. It was just fun." James shot back. "And if you didn't send them, where did the massive stack of "factual" myths that ended up on my bed come from? Malakh was out talking with Crowley, so it couldn't have been him."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

"I have no idea what you're talking ab-" Raphael began, then they heard the roar of the demons.

There was something off though. These demons didn't look too much like real demons. They seemed more human, attractive, and had wings. They seemed...angelic. Strange crossbreeds between angels and demons. And the roar sounded almost musical.

And there were hundreds of these creatures outside the half-destroyed castle, charging at it or blasting it with magic from a distance.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Rathzeth watched in disbelief as everyone started discussing meaningless things, pretty much ignoring the fact that he was, in fact, right, and that they could have tried to get the hell -Heaven? Earth? Purgatory?- out of there instead.

However, that mattered little anymore, considering that now, they were under siege by some of the most peculiar creatures Rathzeth had ever seen in his life. Granted, he wasn't that old, but whatever.

"...Lord Raphael, would you happen to know what those are?" Rathzeth asked, confused.

[Ameriganastan]

Rathzeth watched in disbelief as everyone started discussing meaningless things, pretty much ignoring the fact that he was, in fact, right, and that they could have tried to get the hell -Heaven? Earth? Purgatory?- out of there instead.

However, that mattered little anymore, considering that now, they were under siege by some of the most peculiar creatures Rathzeth had ever seen in his life. Granted, he wasn't that old, but whatever.

"...Lord Raphael, would you happen to know what those are?" Rathzeth asked, confused.

Laz chimed in, already cracking his knuckles, and taking some deep breaths, to prep his fire.

"Who cares what they are? They look like they wanna kill us, so we gotta kill them first."

[Zarkenis Ultima]

"No wonder they called you Major Lazy. You refuse to think!" Rathzeth shouted at him, losing his temper for the first time since he had arrived at Elfen High, which was in itself a very respectable feat, at least for most people's standards.

"If you don't know what they are, then there's as much a chance that you'll kill them as there is that they'll utterly overwhelm you. I don't care if you've been a lucky bastard for the entirety of your life, just try not to be so Lucifer-damned stupid when in risky situations!" Rathzeth said, not knowing that he asked for the impossible.

After that, he tried to calm down.

[Ameriganastan]

"No wonder they called you Major Lazy. You refuse to think!" Rathzeth shouted at him, losing his temper for the first time since he had arrived at Elfen High, which was in itself a very respectable feat, at least for most people's standards.

"If you don't know what they are, then there's as much a chance that you'll kill them as there is that they'll utterly overwhelm you. I don't care if you've been a lucky bastard for the entirety of your life, just try not to be so Lucifer-damned stupid when in risky situations!" Rathzeth said, not knowing that he asked for the impossible.

After that, he tried to calm down.

"Lucky...lucky!?"

He knelt down. He wanted to be eye to eye with Rathzeth to say this.

"You look here you little weasel. I've never been lucky. For almost 600 years, my. Life. Sucked. I was a fucking nobody, just another expendable demon. You know how i got to be almost 600? Because i was strong. I had to fight to survive living in Hell. You wouldn't know anything about that, since your daddy has been in power since before you were born. You never had to live like i did. So don't you dare say i was ever lucky. You got that?!"

He blew some smoke in his face, and stood back up, his point made.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Raphael stared. "I'm not totally sure." the archangel said, looking uncomfortable. He tried standing up, but Hades waved him down. "Not a chance. You are no shape to fight right now. Let us handle this one."

Crowley concentrated, mumbling phrases in ancient tongues. Hades did as well. The dead demonic corpses rose up to try to fight the incoming horde.

Some broke through, and fired magic missiles at the group.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Rathzeth wasn't at all scared by Lazrian, even when he leaned in to look him in the eye. He had seen bigger demons, anyway, regardless of actual power level and what not.

"Strenght has no use when you're not even smart enough to use it properly." Rathzeth replied, waving the smoke away from his face. "And don't pretend that you know anything about me either. Just because I am the son of L'Enfer does not mean that I had it easy. I am who I am, and I've fought in hell too. Besides-" Rathzeth said, but eventually he was interrupted by a magic missile fired by one of the angemons.

Thinking quickly, Rathzeth turned into his armored demon form and took his halberd into both his hands. "We'll finish this later, I guess." He said to Lazrian and then tried to fight the angemons that had broken through.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

James put himself between Rathzeth and Lazrian before the demgels attacked. "Both of you, settle the fuck down. This is not the time or place for a massive argument, especially one as stupid as this." He was glaring at both of them when the demgels attacked. Immediately, he jumped back and placed himself in front of Uncle Raph, erecting a wall of fire around himself and the archangel. One magic missile splashed against the barrier. "RAPHAEL IS SAFE, START KICKING ASS!" He roared at the others.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Lewis gazed upon the angel-demon hybrids, a feeling deep within his mustache told him that something was not right. The missiles and etc. didn't really help.

"Hey Al, are these things evi-"

A missile hit the ground next to him and he screamed, the mysterious pants stain growing larger and more potent in smell. All the hairs on his body stuck straight up, and he looked like a pissed-off red porcupine. Except, you know, porcupines can't fight. Or shoot heat rays. Or fly. But Lewis couldn't fly either. So he was obviously a porcupine. Yep, I just troll logic-ed you. Wait... what? Get back on topic? What topic? Geometry? World History? Ballerina-ology? Oh, Elfen High. Right. Sorry, I forgot.

"NEVER MIND!" Lewis yelled back to Crowley. He took the good ol' Jameson approach and blasted the demgels with heat rays.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

The demon-angel things attacked viciously, eventually beating through Hades and Crowley's undead forces. Hades then stood and blasted a powerful energy wave at them, destroying or crippling the first wave.

The second followed almost immediately, and Hades caused spikes to burst from the ground, impaling many. Calliel used electrokinesis to fry the demon-angels coming, though there were many of them.

[Nature-Spirits]

A barrier of thorns grew out of the ground, blocking the Demon-Angels from getting to the Elfen Highers. Baelvan didn't expect it to hold for long, but it was something.

[Olthar]

Having almost fallen asleep while leaning on the wall, Nora shook herself awake to see the group under attack by strange angel/demon hybrids.

How odd. I didn't think they could breed. Or maybe they can. I don't fucking know.

It could be some sort of science-y magic thing that did this.

That could be.

Dude: Dinner.

Demon tastes horrid.

But angel is great.

...No it's not. It tastes even worse than demon.

Well...Maybe they taste great together.

That's the stupidest thing I've heard since...uh...Whenever that Laz moron last spoke.

Or whatever that Lewis guy is saying right now. "Are they evil?" Ha.

Bah, whatever. Just eat them already!

Fine, fine. I am rather hungry, anyways.

After standing up straight, Nora leaped forward, slashing her way through the tangle of thorns and landing on one of the creatures, sinking her teeth into its neck.

Hmm, not bad. I guess these things are pretty good, after all.

[Nationstatelandsville]

A barrier of thorns grew out of the ground, blocking the Demon-Angels from getting to the Elfen Highers. Baelvan didn't expect it to hold for long, but it was something.

Lewis burned a hole through the part of the wall in front of him, stepping before the demon-angels.

"Aleister, Maulacka, Wings, I have an idea. I'll distract them, you... do magic."

And so he played his banjo, he played his heart out. Well, actually, he didn't. Because then he would need replacement surgery. So instead, he just played with emotion, because emotion isn't a medical issue. What song did he play, you ask? Why the song I've been working on for weeks now. The Epic of the Siege of Elfen High.

"It all started one day, when things were pretty chill
It was the birthday of James, Malakh's husband, not that brat with lighsabers
He invited his brother Scott, who was out to kill
He hated everything different, decided they weren't good neighbors
So Scott and a bunch of his dumb ass friends
Decided they would shoot at Crowley
Little did these fools know, they would meet their ends
We were forced to hide, like rodents so lowly

Oh, it was the Siege of Elfen High
Scott was a dick, he caused it all
He was far from being a nice guy
And though we may look back at the battle crawl
And we may remember the glory and honor
Keep in mind those loses we faced
And remember that Pure Earth is a goner
With defeat, we allowed them to be graced

And so we waited and we squandered
And we know the whole time
'Round the grounds, our foes wandered
They would soon pay for their crime
We waited and planned, Timothy took charge
Mr. Wings flew around for a while, doing some recon
We came up with a battle strategy, the scale wasn't large
We had no idea how fast we'd take 'em down, like stocks of Enron

Oh, it was the Siege of Elfen High
Scott was a dick, he caused it all
He was far from being a nice guy
We kicked his ass, see ya next fall
And though we may remember the day we won
And we may remember the heroes who rose
It only came because we fought hard 'til the battle was done
Will we ever face them again, who truly knows?

Lazrian, the Great and Mighty, Timothy Horn
Aleister Crowley, Calliel, Damien Seward, and Grim
We beat those monsters hard, they wish they were never born
To attack Elfen High, they must have been high, or at least dim
Because it was protected by the greatest warriors this world has known
Be it the School Guard, the cafeteria ladies, or teachers
Those who've seen the adventures past, the students who have grown
We all stood together and dismantled those hate preachers

Oh, it was the Siege of Elfen High
Scott was a dick, he caused it all
He was far from being a nice guy
He beat his army from wall to wall
We were outnumbered, we were doomed
Then Crowley gave me a gun, and the battle really began
For the Pure Earth, their deaths loomed
And Timothy tore through them, cause on campus, he's big man

Now we went back home and we were sitting pretty
'Til some assholes broke in and nearly prevented this ditty
They ruled up and gunned Miranda down, while they were at they stole my banjo
'Round this time I noticed Nora was gone and I was just thinking "that cowardly ho"
Then I realized that those dicks stole Banjie
It became a fight between them and me

Scott was a dick, he caused it all
He was far from being a nice guy
It was Jack who really dropped the ball
I rushed at his banjo-stealing as like "yipee"
Beat him down in a duel worthy of heaven
I got a new banjo and I played like a master
I wiped him out, brought it up to eleven
'Cause of me we won the battle faster

I got all mad
Fun had been had
But it was time to get serious
So I got super furious
And I tore through the battle line
Kicked a lot of ass and was back in time to dine
I ripped a hole right through like tissue
After that, an attack was no issue

An epic duel was a-brewing
The gods of war were a-wooing
Standing up to Scott was a child named Ferdinand
The son of the vampire slayer stood with James Callahan
With the rest watching, and some aid from the School Guard
They blew that bastard away, but the price hit hard
The school lay in ruins, and Ferdinand was made a metal man
Then Nora returned from the mysterious distance, from the woods of Pan

This was the Siege of Elfen High
We fought hard, now that's no lie
We were all soldiers, all warriors, all heroes
Made Pure Earth seem to be zeroes
This was the Siege of Elfen High
Get ready for battle, cause glory's nigh
We won the battle and we earned it
We triumphed over all and never quit
They thought it was the Siege of Elfen High
They tried to make it the Siege of Elfen High
But in the end, we took our stand
And we beat Scott's villainous band"

Lewis reached for something in his back pocket...

"So we soon fled for another, greater task
I leave you with this while I reach for my flask
I am Lewis Jameson, sometimes called Stan
And I am a math teacher, I'm your man
For when the battle takes a few devilish turns
Folks just remember, that alcohol burns!"

He removed a silver flask and flipped it open, revealing somew brandy. He quickly lit it and launched it at a Demon-Angel's head, before turning to the others and screaming.

"DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He turned back to the angels and began to strum furiously on his banjo, focusing on his foes and blasting them with intense heat.

[Rupudska]

Yuzuki jumped over Lewis, tackling one of the demons. She then proceeded to punch it repeatedly in the face before turning to one of the angel-demon things and roundhouse kicking it in the side.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Crowley brought the dead demons back to life while Hades shot out another energy wave. This wave was more difficult. They staggered and bled after Hades' wave hit them, but didn't die.

They broke through, and charged toward Lewis. Calliel blocked them off by using his cyrokinesis.