WC 56 SNLVI RP Thread

by **North Chicanan** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:08 am

North Chicanan Daily Rabbler
Going In with Very Low Expectations

Tight Final Day: Win And Fully In, Lose And Sorta In.
Arica Riddler, Victoria

North Chicanan did another rest day, to really the surprise of no one. And while the 2-1 victory was closer than necessary against Oiseaui, the Northerners are left with a match against a desperate Pretty Awesome Persons while Cosumar heads to Oiseaui in hopes of clinching the group title and sending the Hoops to the playoffs.

No pressure.

Group 10		  G  W D  L GF GA GD Pts
1 North Chicanan 	 13 10 2  1 26 11 +15 32
2 Cosumar 		 13 10 1  2 33 13 +20 31
------------------------------------------------
3 Pretty Awesome Persons 13  8 1  4 30 19  +8 25
4 Carpathia and Ruthenia 13  5 3  5 22 18  +3 18
5 Hockey Canada 	 13  4 3  6 16 21  −5 15
6 Itailian Maifias 	 13  3 3  7 13 31 −18 12
7 Florinthus 		 13  2 3  8 13 26 −13  9
8 Oiseaui 		 13  1 2 10 12 26 −14  5

North Chicanan clinches Group 10 with:
* a win vs vs Pretty Awesome Persons
Cosumar clinches Group 10 with:
* a win v Oiseaui AND a North Chicanan Loss or Tie

The match, played in blustery conditions along the northern borders of the state, saw James Pratt score twice, one off a penalty in the 7th to give the Hoops an early 1-0 lead and his second coming of a header in injury time to give the Hoops the needed three points over a pesky Oiseaui side who would not go away. They tied the match up in the second half off a fast break in the 60th and pressed hard for the remainder of the match to gain some advantage or to get at least a point.

Meanwhile Pretty Awesome Persons did what they needed to do in their thrashing of Hockey Canada, but Carpathia and Ruthenia weren't able to help the Hoops or the Persons and Cosumar escaped with a 3-2 win and the other slot out of Group 10. Now the Hoops head to Pretty Awesome Persons and a mean side angry about failing qualifications while Cosumar heads to Oiseaui and a probably three points.

So in order to prepare the nation, lets just expect to finish second in the group, eh? That's far more impressive than the fifth place finish we projected, the sixth place finish the betters had for us, and far better than the gridiron or hockey sides were able to pull in their second cup.

Huzzahs all around then!

Josiah Rhys-Williams refused to discuss the final standings, saying his team was rested outside of Pratt to give Paul Owen, Yankee DeMit and Phoenix Longstreet a chance to recover from the rather tough road match against Hockey Canada. "We have second or first and I was willing to let our stars get a break in order to have them in the best position to close out qualifying with a unprecidented double against high-ranked opponents."

Which is true, as the Northerners owned number 21 Cosumar this cup session and already beat #29 Pretty Awesome Persons in St. John's.

The betters...are mixed for the final match. Several houses are giving the Hoops even odds for the win and the Group, with HighBetLine giving 2-1 odds for victory. However, Township Heights and Aston Villa both mark the Hoops to lose with 2-7 odds on the win.

So get that money over to the Coast District, we may have an interesting night ahead of us!

Hoops Schedule

MD01 W 3-1 Cosumar (at Free State Arena, Provincetown)
MD02 L 2-0 Italian Maifias
MD03 W 3-0 Florinthus (at Cold Harbor Stadium, Port Augustine)
MD04 T 1-1 Carpathia and Ruthenia
MD05 W 3-0 Hockey Canada (at National Square, Southampton)
MD06 W 2-0 Oiseaui
MD07 W 3-1 Pretty Awesome Persons (at Hard Rock Arena, St. John's)
MD08 W 1-0 Cosumar
MD09 T 3-3 Italian Maifias (at Kodiak Memorial Park, Douala)
MD10 W 2-1 Florinthus
MD11 W 1-0 Carpathia and Ruthenia (at Ital Palace, Bishop)
MD12 W 2-1 Hockey Canada
MD13 W 2-1  Oiseaui (Highlands Park, Victoria City)
MD14 at Pretty Awesome Persons

Oh, we think 10 wins may be a Northern/Chicanan record in World Cup Qualifying. And we don't recall Chicanada ever winning their group in the old times. So this is rather exciting!

Tonight's a final road match with Pretty Awesome PersonsThe game will see live coverage starting at 7pm on Telesport, with City1 and DR starting their coverage at 7:30. Game time is expected to be 8:40.

by **Jeruselem** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:13 am

Princess Sofia Michelle Dallas and Amy Pond

Sofia: Hey, you want some wabbits?
Amy: Wabbits? Rabbits.
Sofia: I call them wabbits.
Amy: Live or dead?
Sofia: Dead of course, we don't breed them. There too many as they are.
Amy: I can't cook to save my life.
Sofia: Give it to your Mum
Amy: I don't like eating them anyway.
Sofia: God, it's hard to give away food.
Amy: You're not talking a daughter of a Chef.
Sofia: Surely you're not that bad.
Amy: I'm a simple cook. Lazy too.
Sofia: I guess I'll give them to that Rufus bug-eating idiot
Amy: Anyway, how come you have so much.
Sofia: We killed them since they are too many eating our my garden
Amy: Surely you can capture them instead
Sofia: I'm no Greenie
Amy: But rabbits are so cute.
Sofia: They aren't cute if they eat all your exotic lettuce in your garden.
Amy: I suppose. How do you kill them?
Sofia: Bow hunting, one shot one kill. Instant death.
Amy: I'd be too wussy to do that.
Sofia: Use crossbow then.
Amy: A crossbow?
Sofia: Sure, what's the problem there.
Amy: Those are meant for killing people.
Sofia: So are bows.
Amy: You're really into this hunting.
Sofia: I'm waiting for my new Titantium quad-blade big game arrow heads.
Amy: Sounds nasty
Sofia: A good shot to the head, and the critter is down.

by **Kalumba** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:01 am

The Herald

Report by Bruce Mtwetwe

The battle for fourth place will go rigth down to the wire in Group 3 after both Kalumba and Old Havansk recorded victories. We are a better rated team but only managed to draw one all last time we faced each other, as such we must play better to secure fourth ahead of an embarrasing fifth place. However our good form continued as we won back to back games defeating Carastoga two goals to one.

Despite the result we were not the better team. Carastoga started very brightly and almost from kick-off we were on the back foot. They quickly attacked catching us off balance and creating a clear chance. Pilgrim stepped out of position the ball went passed him and only Ottbourne heroically diving at the onrushing strikers feet prevented Carastoga taking an early lead.

The remainder of the first half became an attritional battle in midfield as we treid desperatley to hold back the tide of their attacks. Anderson earnt himself praise for his presence but also a yellow card for a very nasty lunge. With robust tackling on our part and fancy footwork on theirs the game descended into relitive chaos as neither side could counter the other.

Thankfully at half time manager Magnus Malan changed things bringing on Chris Abouto, who was being rested, and Ben Rowlatt for the unusually ineffective Cheeter. This brough almost instant success. Rowlatt interchanged beautifully with his husband Roberts and sent Abouto free down the right wing. With his typical twisting run Abouto out paced the defence and swung the ball in low for Davis to dive and head into the onion basket.

Then Carastoga deservedly got an equaliser ten minutes later. Although it was only a series of inexcusable mistakes that resulted in their goal few Kalumban fans will begrudge it too them as they were by far the better team throughout. They picked the ball up on the wing and again exposed Pilgrim at the back. The through ball left him on his backside and their striker this time chipped the ball delicatley over Ottbourne. Our war hero keeper got one of his big hands onto the ball but not enough to divert it from it's goalwards path and it trickled in.

Thankfully we managed to snatch another goal within five minutes. Again the interplay of homosexual couple Rowlatt and Roberts which created the chance. Roberts went on a run like that in the Baptism of Fire semi-final which won us the game and instead of shooting laid it back to Rowlatt who dinked the ball over the defence to Abouto who drilled it accross the six yard box. And again Davis was their, this time with an outstretched right boot, to divert the ball into the net beyond the flaing dive of the keeper.

We then saw out the game without incident, once again keeping the ball in midfield. Carastoga dominated the possesion but we stood firm like a shield wall. Anderson was the captain of our ship and marshalled his players behind him. He flew into each tackle with gusto, and a little malice, and intimidated their players from taking him on. The others took from his lead and the game petered out. We go into our final game needing a win but in good form.

Report by Wrex Tarr

In other sporting news we have seen a shock in the group of Southern Cynocephali, who along with Baptism of Fire semi-finalists Chetkosk are chanlenging for a place in the World Cup proper they sit third and second respectively with one game to play and SC 3 points down and also with inferior goal difference. It will be interesting to see which of them claim the play-off spot and if they can go on even further.

Kalumban Gossip Today

Pilgrim in baby scandal! Report by Susan Mtwetwe
It appears that national team footballer Duncan Pilgrim, oh so recently involved in the gay scandal, has fathered an illegitimate child with his short term girlfriend Sarah Bradshaw. The two began dating before the BoF and last night attended a charity dinner lovingly cradling a small child. They have named their son Ian Cecil Pilgrim, after two of Kalumba's founding fathers. Pilgrim is a well known patriot, sporting a large tattoo of the Kalumban Flag on his back. Last night we saw his most recent tattoos, his girlfriend and son's names on his forearms.

When first asked about the baby the press asked what his little girl was called after the baby was seen to be sporting diamond earrings. Pilgrim replied his son's name and when asked about the earrings he said he simply liked the look. He was also asked about the large diamond rings both he and Sarah were wearing and said we plan to get married later this year.

by **Bears Armed** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:03 am

“So, here we are yet again, down to having only one qualifying match to play but depending on a win in that to be sure of getting into the Cup proper.”

“Ayyuh, but I don’t smell how you could hrreally blame our girls for that… or their management, either, for that matter. It’s this new system that’s done it, because although a shorter qualification process might hwell be better for the players and for their home clubs it obviously gives the top teams rather less opportunity to build up a commanding lead when they still have more games left to play.
“And the Belles have already earned at least a place in the play-offs for entry into the Cup, at least.”

“Ayyuh, and then there’s another aspect of the shorter series, this business of only the singularly top side per group going through automatically and all of the groups’ runners-up then having to face play-offs to find out which of them have places as well..”

“Still, would you rather go back to eleven-team groups? Or maybeso have the number of teams that get allowed into the qualifiers to start with be seriously restricted?”

“Naah, I guess not…. But why couldn’t Akbarabad have lost another game by now, so that we’d already know the Belles were definitely through?”

“Because they’re a good team too and they’ve been playing for their homeland’s benefit rather than for ours?”

“I was only asking a rhetorical question, for true…”

“Hokay, hokay… So, hwat odds would you give on tomorrow’s match?”

“I wouldn’t. It would probably take some sort of demonic intervention to make the Belles lose now…”

“For true!”

“So, do you plan on going to any matches in the World Cup itself?”

“I can’t, I just won’t have the time free. Being on the Scouting Commission for this Province means that I’ll be too buy with the Marrfehk-Ing three-eightSquareds’th anniversary celebrations to get away…”

by **Andossa Se Mitrin Vega** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:23 am

One Match Will Decide It All.

Everyone had seen the footage. Vegan Striker Jonasei Ariq’Alara had changed the course of a match with one singly brilliant, if forceful, moment where he outmuscled the Starblaydi muscle (in the form of Pete Walker and Vanessa Blackwell) and neatly beat the late attempt to save from perhaps the best keeper in the world. One moment where things went perfectly right for the Sea Dragons and horribly wrong for an entire nation.

In the weeks since that match concluded with ASMV stealing a win at Stadii Simione DiBrandini, Ariq’alara has had more media attention than he could have asked for - or at least the back of his jersey has. And very little of the attention has been given in a positive light.

Starblaydi media have used that singular picture and the footage of that moment as well to fire up the people to take a stand against all things wrong in a once powerful and feared nation. Ariq’alara’s image has found a home representing anything from socialist groups calling for welfare reform to governmental extremists calling for the head of the Lord Protector. What had started out as one epic play in an epic football match had ended as a revolutionary marker for an entire peoples.

And now the Sea Dragons were set to face the Purple Peril once more. This time the match would be played at Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea. This time there would be no hostile crowd. And this time there would be no excuses. Not for ASMV. Not for Starblaydia. This was to be a one match showdown for the Group 2 title during WC56 qualification and the automatic spot in the final 32 that came with it. This is the match that every true player in the world wished to be a part of.

So the stage is set. The preparations have all been made. It is time.

Will Ariq’alara once again play the hero for the Sea Dragons or will Walker and Blackwell have their revenge?

Will Taniquentar prove himself again as one of the best keepers in the world? Or will young Sanlioch Bez’Al be the keeper that leaves his mark on this macth?

Will Akaok Kapekeoa continue to be a dominant force in the middle or will his grass skirt get ruffled by the play of Ázëwyn Fëanáro proving to be the better at controlling the action?

Will Valrauncion find the net this time out or will the big three of Stonewall, Un’jeru’betcii, and Lamas’Porii continue to bang up the Purple attack?

So many questions that will have their answers found in this final match. The World cup fates of both sides will be riding on this match- and perhaps a whole lot more than that for a nation that has sent their athletes to Errion Vega in what is perhaps a last ditch effort to avert a civil war at home.

by **The Archregimancy** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 10:28 am

THE MONASTIC TRAVEL SHOW

With Fr. John the Golden-Throated

Tonight's Special Guest: Fr. Basil the Blind

"Hello, and welcome to the Monastic Travel show here on the Monastic Radio Network with me, your host, Fr. John the Golden-Throated. My special guest tonight is Fr. Basil the Blind, who has foregone the offer to have his sight miraculously healed here in the Archregimancy on the grounds that blindness is his cross to bear, yet also is God's gift in that it makes his other senses more sensitive and aware. Truly an example to us all. And welcome to the show, Fr. Basil."

"Thank you, Fr. John. Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us."

"Even unto Ages of Ages. So, Fr. Basil you were recently fortunate enough to travel to the forward-thinking and blessed land of Kagdazka and Pazhujebu, where you were later an honoured guest at the qualification match between their nation and ours."

"Oh yes - and it was a wonderful experience, Fr. John; truly a blessing I was fortunate to receive"

"What can you tell us about this little-known Ordinary Reality land?"

"Well, I was most struck by the modesty and welcoming nature of the young women. God so willed it that I was fortunate enough to appear on a local televisual presentation called 'Grilled Brie for Three'; and instead of the drunken wantonness that one might expect from heathen Ordinary Reality women, they were most polite towards me, respectful towards my theological opinions, and best of all, modestly dressed in 'Robes with like, crosses, and shit.'"

"I'm sorry... 'crosses and shit'?"

"Quite; while I obviously could not see this for myself, it is my belief that the modest young women smear goat faeces over the robes as a sign of their inherent humility, and to ward off the unwanted advances of lustful men. They only appear in very modestly-dressed and only-attractive-in-a-pious-and-certainly-not-sexual way clothing."

"Wondrous indeed, and surely an example to many Orthodox women, Fr. Basil."

"But this is not all... As I sat there in their studio, a feeling of warm calm, well-being and holiness overcame me, as if I was praying in the all-night vigil prior to the conclusion of a fast. I felt a sense of oneness with the world, as if I was reaching a state of hesychastic stillness, even while their 'cameras' were trained upon me. This led me to speak most lucidly and openly - and wholly without inhibition - about a range of theological topics. I could tell that the modest young women were most impressed."

"Truly these are glad tidings! You seem to be telling me that not only is Kagdazka and Pazhujebu a land of incredible feminine modesty, but is also a land where hesychastic stillness and Orthodox holiness can even be found within the hustle and bustle of a studio; given that I sometimes struggle to remain prayerful even in this studio, this is remarkable indeed."

"Oh, I would most assuredly recommend a visit to their wondrous land for all Orthodox monastics. Have you heard that they have offered to rename all of their national football clubs after Orthodox Saints and concepts should they qualify for the World Cup?"

"I had missed that!"

"Oh yes, Fr. John... so they might indeed find themselves supporting 'Cappadocian Fathers United', or "XII Apostles XI', or 'AFC Venerable Zeno the Hermit of Antioch the Disciple of St Basil the Great'."

"I knew this not; the Lord truly works in mysterious ways, Fr. Basil - but surely last night's result puts a big dent in that possibility."

"Indeed, Fr. John. Though their superior goal difference helps. Kagdazka and Pazhujebu need only win their last game - and hope that Polar Islandstates, whose team is distracted by some sort of strange quest, lose. Then they shall make the playoffs."

"Well then, I can guarantee that everyone in the Archregimancy shall be praying for the Urchins tonight! Let them go forth and win, so that their team names illuminate the entire football world! And that's all we have time for tonight; but it sounds like we can heartily recommend a visit to Kagdazka and Pazhujebu, a country where the women are modestly-dressed paragons of virtue, where the Orthodox monastic visitor can feel holiness in the very air, and where the football teams might soon venerate the saints of the One True Church!"

by **Cotdelapoms** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:03 am

Sarrbian Slip-Up Assures Cotdelapoms Into Play-off.

Cotdelapoms have clinched a spot in the World Cup play-off thanks to the combined efforts of the Apples' 4-1 nuclear assault on Burty Royals and Sarrbia's struggle against Rent is 3 Damn High. Burty Royals apparently had some issue with how this blog described their nation and came out of hiding to threaten warfare with Cotdelapoms- apparently confusing this blog with the government's official stance on their nation, which is adorable- a.) to think that the government even has an opinion of them and b.) that they would then convey it through a sardonic blog about football. They really are among the dumbest people on the planet, aren't they?

The Burty Royals' team, still winless after the 4-1 thrashing, are made up mostly of slaves and they played as though they've been abused over and over again. The energy level was simply not there, they looked defeated and exhausted, and their lack of skill was a real boon for Cotdelapoms in ending their scoreless streak. The Apples had no trouble scoring 4 goals on them before toning it down and treating them like the pathetic minnows they are. Jesper Jensen set a Cotdelapomais national team record by scoring 49 seconds into the first minute of the match to truly set the pace and remind Burty Royals that Nos Pommes are nothing to trifle with. The other goalscorers for the Apples were Serge Lambert, Jonathan Watson and Per-Olivier Johansson-Bakvis.

There is really nothing to say now about the Apples' situation- the match with Seleucius is for nothing at all, Cotdelapoms has clinched a spot in the play-off where they will face some other second seeded team.

World Cup 56 Qualifying Group 12
Pos Team                         P  W  D  L For Ag  +/- Pts
 1  Albundania                  13 10  2  1  26  3  +23  32  Q 
 2  Cotdelapoms                 13  8  4  1  27  8  +19  28  P 
 3  Sarrbia                     13  7  3  3  18 14   +4  24  E
 4  Seleucius                   13  6  2  5  16 11   +5  23  E
 5  Unitopolis                  13  4  4  5   9 15   −6  16  E
 6  Rent is 3 Damn High         13  3  3  7  16 21   −5  12  E
 7  Branta Island               13  2  3  8   6 22  −16   9  E
 8  Burty Royals                13  0  3 10   4 28  −24   3  E

Starting XI for the match with Seleucius:

GK- Yannick Latendresse
LB- Raphaël Dubé
CB- Loïk Mailhot
RB- Alexandre Grainger
DM- Stefano Della Citta
LW- Jesper Jensen
CM- Jonathan Watson
RW- Sacha St-Onge
AM- René Boisbriand
FW- Per-Olivier Johansson-Bakvis
FW- Serge Lambert

ASK A SUPER-FAN will return for the Play-off.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:19 am

BIROG'S STORY

I am the last of the leanan sídhe - the barrow women, the aos sí.

Have you ever seen a women as wild and beautiful as me? I know the effect La Belle Dame has, but do you not think she seems a little too calm, a little too sedate? There's a reason I've set a per game yellow card record for a Holy Empire qualification campaign you know... But I know my limits; no red cards for me.

Perhaps I should ask you if you would take me as yours? You could drink with me, dance with me - yes, I see what you're thinking; you could do that with me too...

You know the risks if I do ask?

If you refuse me, I am your slave for the rest of your life; but if you accept, you are mine. And in return, I shall fire what remains of your brief life - the very life I shall feed upon - into such a peak of inspiration that your name will live on across all realities as one of the greatest of all known poets! The flame shall burn within you.

So should I offer?

And if I offered, what would you say?

I tease you; your Basileus has been to kind for me to consume one of his subjects, though I was tempted by this Di Bradini - he's not truly one of yours, is he? Imagine his fame if the literary muse burned within him with an even greater fire than that which inspired his football; his name would be legend for all time!

But no; I shall not claim him, even if he were to agree to be mine. Let Di Bradini remain free.

My fire has gone out since the coming of the Dark. I seek no more slaves. I seek no more adventures like those that saw me aid Mac Cinnfhaelaidh....

My time is done.

There remains but this football of yours to keep me entertained, in as much as it can ever entertain me, Biróg, last of the leanan sídhe, last of the barrow women, the aos sí.

But if you do seek the truth about the Dark, I do know who does know, you know.

Queen Mab knows.

You don't think we ended up in the Dreamed Realm by accident, do you.

Go on, ask her...

If you dare.

by **Kazzoria** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 1:15 pm

101 great Kazzorian jokes extract

What do you get jokes

What do you get when you put a monkey in a shirt and jeans and get it to say lots of swear words?
A Khytennan at a football match.
What do you get when you take a monkey with brain damage in shirt and jeans and get it to swear over and over? An Orkljestadian at a football match.
What do you get when you take a monkey with brain damage in shirt and jeans with a knife in it's head? An Orkljestadian in the Kazzorian stands.
With national obesiety figures rising Kazzoria has decided to change it invasion of Orkljestad plans. Now they plan on all moving to Orkljestad and jumping up and down at the same time until the ememy surrenders.
What do you get when you put an Orkljestadian in a room with a dead baby and two dead puppies? An insight into a normal Orkljestadian meal.

Kay Peithe tells his jokes

I brought a Jaguar yesterday, high top speed and very comfortable. But I was on the M5 and it bit me.
I used to be the physio for Starblaydia football and it was at the time shock therapy was coming into practise. So When Simone Di Bradini was out injured, I walked up to him and told him he was adopted.
My girlfriend's really foxy, I've tried to get her to have the tail removed but she won't listen.
My parents haven't talked to me in a while, especially after I buried them.
My entire house is priceless, it's made out of sand.
Next time there is an oil spill I will defiantly buy more bread.
I pondered why a boulder was rolling down the road, and then it hit me.

by **Qazox** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 1:24 pm

QWC56 XIV

A 5-0 win over Greater Cotswalds, coupled with a stunning draw by Allamunnic States has Qazox in control over their destiny. 2 goals each from Iona Laughlin (34th and 64th) and Jaime Hinkley (40th and 52nd) stakes Qazox to a 4-0 lead, and after Tyra Benson added a goal in the 87th minute, Qazox had taken over the top spot in the group. Jessica Stone's 5th shutout of the group stage was a rather easy one, as she faced only 3 shots on net all game, none of which were a threat to score. Other results today saw Allamunnic States draw with Armorgames 1-1 and Khytenna defeat Autobotious 4-1.

A quick look at the top 3 teams in group 13 with just 1 game left:

Qazox                       13  9  1  3  27 10  +17  28
Khytenna                    13  9  1  3  27 14  +13  28
The Allamunnic States       13  8  2  3  27 18   +9  26

Here are the secenarios as we see it:
Qazox: A win qualifies them directly into the World Cup. A draw and a Khytenna loss or draw will see them through as well. A loss couple with a Khytenna win or draw would put Qazox into the Cup of Harmony. A draw and a Khytenna win puts them into the playoffs, as would a loss and a Khytenna loss.

Khytenna: A win coupled with a Qazox loss or draw puts them directly into the World Cup. A draw would put them into the playoffs, provided the Qazox-Allamunnic States game has a winner. A loss puts them into the CoH, as would a draw and a Qazox-Allamunnic States draw.

Allamunnic States: Simply put: A win puts them into the playoffs. Anything else eliminates them. A win coupled with a Khytenna loss gives them the automatic bid; while a Khytenna draw puts them in the playoffs.

Final games:
Allamunnic States @ Qazox (First meeting: Qazox 2-3 @ Allamunnic States)
Khytenna @ Armorgames (First meeting Armorgames 4-3 @ Khytenna)

Today's Three Big Questions: are for Oxian Party Presidential nominee Shawn Lavell:

#1- Mr. Lavell, what are your thoughts on Qazox' chances to make the World Cup?
answer- <ed note; this response was taken before the team played Boico last week> A good one. They just have to keep winning and get a lucky bounce or two against the Allamunnic States in the finale. If they don't make it, then the team could attempt to win another trophy they've wanted the Cup of Harmony.

#2- Why does Qazoxian football spark such a rabid fan base within Qazox?
answer: I don't rightly know. I'd like to think that because football was the first sport that Qazox decided to play internationally, and it was at least 30 years before the formation of the WBC and World Bowl events, that many people of my parent's and grandparent's generations had grown up with the sport and passed along to the current and future generations.

#3- When will Qazox win a World Cup?
answer- Hopefully next year (chuckles at that). But with all things worth persuing, it takes time. Some nations, <ed note: Jeruselem and Krytenia are prime examples>, have been at this longer than Qazox hves and they've not won a title either. While teams like Az-cz wound up winning a title relatively quickly after their debuts. Mostly, it's just a matter of timing, luck and perseverance, Qazox always seems to be lacking luck.

For the qualifying finale of 3Q, we will have a special dual-answer session, with two suprise guests.

by **Armorgames** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 1:34 pm

Hey, a tie thats not to bad. I thought. The Allamunnic States are a pretty good team and a 1-1 tie is fine for the point that we are at.

I walked over to my laptop and went straight to my email looking for something from Malcom Harrison. I scrolled through the congratulations and some hate mail, and I found it.

Dear Coach Klein,

The network said that they dropped the World Cup since nobody wanted to watch it. Their words, not mine.
The Beach Cup is like the World Cup but on the beach.
Armorgames lost their most recent Beach Cup game in the first round of the playoffs, so they are eliminated.
If you would like more information, please contact Marice Matts who is the head of the Beach Cup coverage.

-MH

I then sent out a message to my team.

Hello everybody,
I would like a conference call at the Hotel meeting room at 7 p.m.

-Coach

I shut my laptop.

To be continued

by **Mytannion** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 2:01 pm

написана для людей, написанный людей
Napisana dlya lyudyeĭ , Napisannyĭ lyudyeĭ.
Written for the People, by the People.

'Right down to the Wire.'

by Vladimir Hyralov

I'm sure that we've used that headline on the backpages before, but, we're going to use it again. Mainly because this time, it really could not be truer. Sure, the Takillega has been amazingly close over the past few seasons, but one team has always been in the drivers' seat - knowing exactly what they had to do to win the title. Our World Cup groups over the past four cycles (yeah, this one included), all ended up really, really close. This cycle it is even closer than that, the top three in our group, Group 3 - could all end up in different positions in the group table after the final match day of the world cup qualifying. We could go 2nd and go to the play-off, Newmanistan could finish 3rd, 2nd or 1st - and Queer Poco el Mono Ara could finish top, or runners-up in the group. It all is very confusing and there will be a lot of changes even still.

We drew, 1-1 with Newmanistan - which is a very respectable scoreline - against a team that are very close to us in the World Rankings and are a nation that have a very similar footballing stature to us, although football is a bigger sport over here, it seems. They scored first through Aaron Huckabee who sprinted clear of our centre-back pairing, Aier and Fyfat - and then smashed one past Rudi Holzman, it was an easy goal - and one we really shouldn't have conceded, but it was no problem as we came back five minutes later through Radoslaw Famoc, who dribbled between Myron Jackson and Robert Cosgrove and then whipped a shot out of nowhere into the bottom corner, from the edge of the box. It was his 28th international goal in 69 international caps. Impressive stuff from the Eldorado player.

Anyway, not much else happened after that. Just us throwing attacks at each other, although real, clear-cut chances arised.

Anyway, it is all very simple for us from now on really. We need to beat Lesser Cotswalds tomorrow, by any margin whatsoever - and we need Queer Poco el Mono Ara to beat Newmanistan for us. Our Rushmori neighbours can be nice, or feel our eternal hatred forever - it's upto them. Anyway, any other result is not good enough for us, and even if we do get the 2nd spot - we still then need to enter the lottery of the play-off, which could eliminate us anyway - but we still want to qualify anyway, it's good to even get out of our group. It's an outcome which is very possible, but everything can go wrong with it - it needs to be perfect for us to get out of the group.

We can beat Lesser Cotswalds, and if we don't - it really will be a terribly stupid way to bow out of the tournament if we don't get a win against them, as that is the minimum requirement we need to qualify. We need to beat smaller nations to make sure we can qualify out of the group. Queer Poco el Mono Ara are a big, big footballing nation. They're a bit of a powerhouse, in fact - especially within Rushmore. They can beat Newmanistan, can't they?

We simply hope they can, if they don't though - well, we're going home, and we won't be qualifying for this world cup. And then that guy who writes the 'Geese on the Pitch' bullshit will be proved right. I really don't want him to be proved right, I may well be out of a job if he's proved right. I mean, what if the Mytannion Gazette employ him, wow - that'd really be a bad day for Mytanar journalism.

Jan Mufiak reaches 50.
Jan Mufiak made his 50th international appearance for the national side in the game against Newmanistan. The man from Port Jarko has had a decent few years in his career - having made the switch from his home-town club SK Port Jarko to Royal Khaldoon in Queer Poco el Mono Ara (yeah, our group rivals), and has won silverware there and has also established himself in the national side too. He won't have much longer in the national side though, as he is now 31 - the joint-oldest player on the ntional side. He'll be replaced soon as he won't be able to keep up with the pace of international play, and we also have good young players coming through, too. He'll be glad to have made 50 caps though, it's certainly something to tell the grandkids.

Wonderkid on the move.
Young Thorvar Prijholm, a product of the reputed Donegal Celtic youth system, academy, scouting network - thing, has made a big money move to Bugny FC. Well, it's not a big money move compared to the prices of some transfers. But it is a massive price to pay for a 14 year old. Yeah, that doesn't do it justice. A 14 year old! Bugny FC, a team who are known in Saugeais for bringing young players on and known for making them into better players have paid M(C)5.6 million for the kid from Donegal, and have signed him on a youth contract - so he can develop. People in Mytannion have talked up his skills as a midfielder, but he is apparently as adept in both the midfield and in the defence. Well, at least according to the brilliant Mikael Forlessen, the Head of Youth Development at Donegal Celtic. Celtic have a massive emphasis on youth, and there operations for youth there are immense - with the majority of their money going straight back into the youth system - and their youth academy apparently having better facilities than their actual training ground. But if their players are that good when they're young, trained that well - do they really need that training later on? Donegal Celtic will be sad to lose the kid, but, they'll bring more youth through and they know this. They train kids from the age of 8, if they think they've got potential - so they'll bring a whole lot more good players through in the future, no doubt.

(OOC Side-note: Donegal Celtic, the club mentioned in the 'Wonderkid on the move' section - are my equivalent of Ajax, if you have seen their training facilities - you'll know what I mean about the quality of their facilities.. So yeah.)

by **Swartaz** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:34 pm

A footballers view

And it all boils down to this. One final crunch match against the ever dangerous Churchma. And, despite the fact this match means that my team may be heading to the Cup of Harmony instead of the World Cup, it's the kind of match I love to be a part in. The kind of match in which both sets of players give all the blood, sweat and tears left in them for the full 90 minutes, and the passion and patriotism shows through brilliantly. When you are in this kind of position with your team, it makes you a little bit prouder to pull on that shirt, and especially for me, having the honour of being captain, it really hits home how proud I am deep down to be fighting on the pitch for my nation, and the glorious fans that follow us through think and thin.

The match against Nothan was quite a sombre affair, with the players thoughts all obviousley focused on the loss of a great man who was incredibly well repected by players, fans and peers alike. However, with a job still at hand, we managed to pull a much needed victory out of the bag, taking us two points ahead of today's rivals Churchma. Alexio Del Nieran scored a very good strong goal, bursting through a well orginised Nothanian defence before blazing the ball into the top corner. I'm glad to say I've noticed him become a much better and more complete striker while he's been with us, and hopefully he wont use that against us in the future at any point.

Overlooking the table going into the final day, the Kulverintians are almost completely out of it, only 2 points behind, but need all the other results to go their way, and our tie against Churchma isn't too likely to end all square. Nitrome Island had a good, albeit slightly flukey run, but dont look like being in a position to impact the final standings too badly either. Sarzoclava lead us by 2 points, and judging by their form this tournament, this isn't the time they're likely to slip up. We just have to live in hope with that one, a automatic place being much better than a play off place for obvious reasons.

Wel, I guess thats all that needs to be said for the moment, good luck to everyone playing crunch matches tomorrow, and hopefully we wont meet up in the play-off's!

Qualifying schedule:

MD1: Swartaz 1-0 Octinstine
MD2: Ma Raque 0-2 Swartaz
MD3: Swartaz 2-2 Kulverint
MD4: Nitrome Island 3-1 Swartaz
MD5: Swartaz 1-0 Sarzoclava
MD6: Nothan 3-1 Swartaz
MD7: Swartaz 3-1 Churchma
MD8: Octinstine 3-3 Swartaz
MD9: Swartaz 2-0 Ma Raque
MD10: Kulverint 2-1 Swartaz
MD11: MD11: Swartaz 2-1 Nitrome Island
MD12: Sarzoclava 3-2 Swartaz
MD13: Swartaz 1-0 Nothan
MD14: Churchma vs Swartaz

by **Churchma** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:06 pm

Churchma Gators WC 56 Coverage
Churchma vs. Swartaz Round Two- this time it's for all the marble
Justin Bruce, BSRN

At this point in the tournament, the goal has become pretty clear- beat Swartaz or we'll settle for a Cup of Harmony appearance. While we have a storied tradition in that tournament, winning the 45th edition, many die-hard fans would consider that to be a huge disappointment. The players and staff feel the same way, and all they can focus on at this point is winning one more game to lock-up a playoff bid. Of course Kulverint still has a shot, but they would have to win by an outrageous amount of goals and hope that Swartaz beats us.

Too be finished before the cutoff!

by **Mangolana** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 6:19 pm

Mangolana Gazzette
Mangolana Soccer Association currently has three applicants

The Mangolana soccer commission, who is currrently in search for a new national team manager, has publicly stated that it has recieved 3 applicants for the job, but will continue to interview applicants until saturday. The Association who is trying to hurry the process, will attempt to name a manager for the upcoming Cup of Harmony, so that if Mangolana recieves an invite, they will have a manager already in place, and to hopefully, improve the team from it's currently horrid state. The team which sits 7th of 8 in the group standings, will be looking to win its final game against Sargossa.

Now lets get back to the applicants. The three applicants all come from different nations, with a brief summary of them to follow.

Mikael Svensson- Former Volerander, IFK Göteborg and Swartaz manager, who with IFK Göteborg won 2 A Lig Titles and 1 Swartaz Super Cup. With Volerander he won 1 A Lig title. And as the Swartaz national team manager, he won 6 Union Cup titles.He also made 400+ appearances for IFK Göteborg and 300+ for Jasmuur Eagles as a solid centre back. He is considered the front runner for the job.

Georges Thomas- Current Manager of the Darmeni National Team and Darmen Premier League champions Scott City FC. He played for 14 years with the Darmeni amature club, Tycos United, before it folded. He then went on to coach Augusta Central High School for 6 years before being hired as Scott City FC's and the NT's Manager. Thomas prefers to play an offensive style, and expects total disipline from all of his players. He is considered to be the longshot of all the applicants.

Poridogax Pinerat- He is the current manager of Eastern Chase, considered the second-best club team in Civil Citizenry. He has guided the team to win the first two Golden Championships, and has led the squad to top-three finishes in each of the first two King's League seasons. He is 53 years old, and is interested in furthering his managing career with a job as Mangolana manager. He is considered as the middle man of the three. The association thinks higher of him than Georges Thomas, but not as high as Mikael Svensson.

by **Alexanderburn** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 6:49 pm

Well, acting coach Jan Luis Calciorotti has been asked to step down from his position as acting coach and he will be replaced by William Kingsley. Calcorotti is expected to announce his formal resignation at a press conference tonight.

As Alexanderburn has been seeded in an eighth-place position with only one match left, the team is left disappointed and unsatisfied. Where did they gone? How did they lose a home game against The Yoro? All these questions, however, remain unanswered as the team preps for their final match against Valladares.

by **Polar Islandstates** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:25 pm

Tomas Aer mopped the brow of Finn Henriksen once again. It was only a rag dipped in seawater, which meant that unsightly and irritating salt deposits were scouring and rubbing his forehead raw, but this was a price he would have to pay. Despite the cold temperature, and the fresh wind that was blowing the last of the heavy clouds away at last, Finn's temperature continued to rise. The rest of the group were at risk of exposure, and all of them were feeling the cold terribly by now, but Finn lay sweating on the ground, as far from the embers of the shack as they dared go without feeling the cold themselves.

Feeling Finn's forehead with the back of his hand, Aer frowned, and went back to the shore to wet the rag once again. It had been a last throw of the dice, setting the shack alight, but a necessary one. If only Finn hadn't fallen. He was in a bad way when they'd found him, his shin bone protruding from his skin, blood lying caked around his clothes and legs, lying in a pool of his own vomit. His horrifically broken leg, coupled with his festering arm wound, meant that it had taken a monumental effort from all of them to get him back to the small plateau as safely as they could, trying not to make his injuries any worse by keeping him as flat as possible.

They could only assume that he was in immense amounts of pain, as he spent most of his time unconscious now, finally his body weak enough to allow the fatigue to overtake the anxiety in his veins to let restless sleep take over. His temperature and heavy breathing were signs of infection, too. Kneeling down to wet the rag, Aer felt a pull of worry at the base of his stomach. What if their last gambit had failed? What if there really was no-one coming? They'd burnt their shack for nothing. Finn would have an intolerably painful surrender to his infections, and, what was worse, the other four would be left to starve. With nothing but other starving people for company, visual reminders of the ghastly situation they would be in.

Aer hopped over a small gap in the floor, and made it back to the huddled forms of the others. He bent down and alliped the cold material to Finn's forehead, the salt-water trickling out and down his face, collecting at the nape of his sweaty, bloodied neck before pooling on the rock floor below him. Aer sat back and listened to Finn's rasping breaths rattle slowly around his chest as his body fought desperately to stay alive. He noted that it was probably a goob job the five of them were, or had been, professional footballers. Unfit people would have died a long time ago on this island.

Magnus Ragnorak caught Aer's eye briefly, his eyes looking tired, grey, and sunken now, behind his mass of facial hair. The two shared a look of sorrow, before Ragnorak went back to stroking his pet rock.

Aer began to reach for the dirty plastic container that held their remaining supplies of stagnant, muddy water, and to his dismay noticed that it had been emptied. All of a sudden, Aer was three times more aware of how dry his throat was. The salty rag looked very appealing. He looked in turn at the resting figures of Erlis, Morriyas, and Ragnorak, but was too tired to raise the point or start an argument. He just didn't have the energy anymore.

No water, no food, no shelter. Aer reckoned they had one more night on here before bad things started to happen.

Just one more night.

no sooner had this thought passed through Aer's head however, when the sound of a mosquito caught his attention. A mosquito? There hadn't been any flying life on this island since they got here, it wasn't exactly the season for them either. Aer frowned, why would a-

Wait, it was getting louder. At a constant rate. Surely not...

Aer leapt up, his legs suddenly full of energy. Yes! There! In the sky!"

"Laurgain! Erlis! Morriyas! Finn! Magnus! Finn! Henriksen! Erlis! Erlis! Morriyas!" Aer shoted their names, first names, last names, whatever. He needed them to see it as well. He needed them to see it and prove to him that this wasn't just some cruel trick played on his mind by his desperate imagination.

The plane was getting closer now, Aer could almost make it out. A single seater by the looks of it. Not big enough to carry them or even land in the first place, but it was something. Suddenly, Aer remembered the smoke, and ran to what was left of the shack to kick about in the embers and ash, kicking up dust and clouds of black smoke that drifted lazily before falling again. Was it enough? Would the pilot see them? If he wasn't looking for them there was always that chance...

Erlis and Morriyas stirred, the plan passed overhead, still little more than a dot, but it was enough.

"Oh, oh, OH!" shouted Erlis, sitting up quickly, Morriyas following suit, pointing and shouting.

Running along the island, Aer did star jumps at the end of the plateau as the plane began to disappear, the mosquito noise subsiding. Had he seen them? Aer needed to know. Where was the sign for the five of them, where was-

Was that it? Did those wings dip from side to side? Aer didn't imagine it, surely? That would be too cruel. A direct passover by a plane that didn't even spot them would just be so horrible. He didn't want to believe it. He ran back to the Astograthi, Ragnorak still tending to his rock like nothing had happened.

"Erlis, Morriyas, did you see those wings dip?!"

"Er, dip?" The pair looked at each other, puzzled.

"Yeah, dip. You know..." holding out his arms like a plane, Aer mimed the up down dipping of the wings that was the international symbol for a plane spotting anyone needing rescue from below, but the message was lost in translation. "Ah, nevermind. It must have done. It can't not have done. Hey Finn, Finn?"

Sitting down next to Henriksen, Aer took up the rag as Erlis and Morriyas jabbered on at each other in Astograthi, excitedly.

"Hey, Finn. We're going to be okay. You'll see. If that plane saw us, we're going to be okay." and Aer mopped Finn's brow once more.

* * * * * * *

Fortunately for you lot (of unfortunately, depends how you see it), there's not a lot I want to say about a 0-0 draw at the moment, so here is part two of what will now be a three part series. It lacks the quest of the first part, and of the excitement of the last part, but for now consider this your 'Margaret Strikes Back'...

NB: The Dorian and Sonya joke use pictures of John Dorian, a character from US hospital comedy, Scrubs, and Sonia, a long running tragic character from UK soap opera, Eastenders. It's funny, damnit.

* * * * * * *

Starting line-up for next match against: Errinundera
---------------------- Gammel ----------------------
---- Nikkel ---- Berg --- Marek ---- Pekarik ----
--------- Hansen --- Hauge --- Bielsen ---------
------------------ van Jendrisen-------------------
------------- Skye ---- Ackermann-Finn ---------

by **Aguazul** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:11 pm

"Maybe he's a spy."

"What?"

"A spy. Like...someone from overseas, sent to mess things up or cause trouble for Aguazul. Who starts by, um...messing with the mind, indirectly, of...a...line judge whose work...usually takes him overseas." José shook his head. "Nope. Scratch that."

"Too late," said Ricardo. "That was creative of you, though."

"It'll probably be something boring," he sighed. "So I'll lose."

Ricardo smiled, trying to sound polite as he took his turn. They'd had fewer games to work that campaign than they had in the previous one. Obviously; there had been almost half as many again qualifying matches for World Cup 55, compared to 56. The blowouts, granted, were just as outblown if not more so, or maybe just as, Ricardo hadn't been bothered to look into it any, as they had been the last time around, and according to José, it was blowouts that psyched him out more than nailbiters. José was weird like that. For whatever reason, his bursts of "inspiration" had mercifully died down. He was sounding more and more like...

well, like Ricardo himself.

That was probably good.

"All right," said Ricardo, "maybe this Pablo is the priest of whoever was calling, and they'd been giving them advice."

"You already guessed that."

"Very good," he said. "I was, er, testing you."

José shrugged, as if modest.

Aguazul defeated Bazalonia, the Tigers defense even more tired than it had been in their previous encounter. A savvy neutral might have admired Sesmiro Marroquín's skill, while questioning, rather than the ability of the Bazalonian players, their manager's decision to substitute on Jerome Green rather than, say, Wesley Giles or Matthew Richards (with only four possible substitutions, one might be surprised how much speculation there can be), or indeed their management's decision to name such a roster, or indeed, the existence of their management.

But Miguel, for all his keenness and savvy, was no neutral. So he questioned how he was going to convince Antonia to calm down. And, once, he questioned whether it was worthwhile.

(Lissón 40, Oraglio 68, Sarmiento 79)

by **Stachland** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:14 pm

Down to the Wire
by George Xavier

What an incredible, exhilarating, and frustrating qualifying campaign we have had these past few months! We have had good wins, terrifying losses, and draws that one has difficulty feeling one way or the other about. Now, there is only one match to go—a visit to Okunion—and Stachland is still even in the tables with Bostopia at twenty-six points.

Last night, the Bostopians had a chance to end it when they took on Arnett Mead at home. If they had widened the goal differential between themselves and the Stachlandic team, it would have been all but impossible for the Reds to make up the gap in just one final match. And though the Bostopians managed to cruise to an easy three-nil victory, their chances of coming in second in Group Five only grew slimmer.

The Union Athletics Complex in Chevronia, home to coach Theodore Czacki’s Chevronia Stars, was packed with ninety thousand fans yesterday, hoping for a huge victory that would revitalize their hopes for seeing Stachland in the World Cup finals. Unlike so many other matches in this qualifying campaign, they got exactly what they desired. Stachland rolled over a timid Rebel Slaves team for a huge victory, four goals to nil, narrowing the goal differential between Bostopia and Stachland to just a single goal.

“It really was a fantastic performance!” exclaimed Majority Leader Shahal Areebuy, dressed casually in a pair of khaki shorts and a personalized national team jersey. “They had a couple major missed opportunities in the first twenty minutes, but once Janus Chambliss scored the first goal, they played what I can honestly say was the most perfect match I have ever personally witnessed.”

After that twenty-first minute strike by Chambliss, three other players added to the rout—Lyle Verdak in the thirty-ninth minute, Nigel Svirvsky on a corner kick in the seventieth minute (his first goal in international play), and Melanie Leccha in the eighty-seventh minute.

“I want to personally congratulate the entire national team for a match well played and well won,” said Kelsey Sherton, junior member of the Stachland Football Federation Executive Council. “But I would also like to congratulate Melanie, for being the first woman to score a goal for our nation’s national football team.”

In four days, Stachland will play its final match of the qualifying campaign, visiting a mediocre Okunion team. While the Okunioners managed to give Stachland a scare during the two squads’ first match in Wilhelmsborg—which Stachland ultimately won five goals to three—Stachland is the clear favorite to win the rematch. But the real question is whether or not they can win by a large enough margin to best Bostopia for the second-place spot in Group Five.

“We have to have a better goal differential than the Bostopians,” explained Coach Czacki. “If we are even there, they beat us on head-to-head. What we need is a large victory over Okunion—or a Bostopian loss to Rebel Slaves.”

Of course, Bostopia’s previous match against Rebel Slaves is why they still lead Stachland on goal differential—they beat the low-ranked team on that day eight goals to nil, their one incredible match in what has overall been an up-and-down qualifying campaign for the twentieth-ranked team in the world.

“I told Rebel Slaves’ goalkeeper after our match that we were rooting for them to beat the Bostopians later this week,” said Lyle Verdak. “He said they would do everything they could. Upsets are common in football—we have our fingers crossed.”

But ultimately, of course, Stachland’s fate is in their hands. A large victory over Okunion virtually guarantees our place in the playoff for a spot in the World Cup finals—anything less will, more likely than not, send Stachland to the Cup of Harmony. If our country was religious, I might ask the collected football fans of Stachland to pray for a good result. If it was feasible, I would ask you—all eighty-six million of you—to send your well wishes to Coach Czacki personally. As it is, I simply ask you to watch the match against Okunion, or travel there if you are able. Support the team in whatever way you feel fit. Whatever the result, you can read about it in the National Magazine for Athletics this coming weekend. Until then, have a wonderful week, Stachland.

by **The Fanboyists** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:50 pm

Two losses, a tie, and two wins. To the wrong teams, that was enough to bring The Run into serious doubt.

Forsk sighed as he read the notice on his desk. He had one more World Cup cycle after this one to qualify for the World Cup proper or he'd be out of a job. As close as they were, though, the thought of missing qualifying this time --with just Qazox standing in their way -- would be unbearable. That possiblity wasn't helping his mood as he looked back up at Hadley Thornburger, the Chairman of the Allamunnic Sporting Commission, who was standing in front of his desk.

"Is there a reason you had to come personally to berate me, Hadley?" he asked, irritably. "I have a final qualifying game to prepare for."

"I've been hearing you, ah, 'want to give me a piece of your mind?'" Thornburger said, vaguely amused. "So I'm curious, of course. What is it you want to take up with me, Andrew?"

Forsk glared at him. "This volunteer system. I see the point of it, but it's sort of crippling. Oh, sure, the gridiron and hockey teams get by on it; they get a few great players, and there's plenty of solid leftovers from the domestic league for them. Same for lacrosse. But soccer? By the time we sort through who's playing domestically, we're down to washed-up has-beens and high schoolers!" He shook his head, almost growling. "And then I get my job put on watch for failing to do a difficult task with far less than any other coach, Allamunnic or otherwise! You can see why I'm frustrated, Hal!"

Thornburger sighed and shook his head. "And what do you want me to do about it? It's a universal policy! All the coaches have to deal with it."

"If you want equal results, relatively speaking, we should get equal working material. I get the scrap to work with, and I have to make it shine and compete with elite, well-funded teams. Give me the opportunity to use club-team players, too. Sure, there's some stead-fast players like Leifsson who will stay regardless of pay, but there's others who really can't afford to give up the money they get playing for a club."

Thornburger sighed. "See what you can do with this group. Then we'll talk about this more, Andrew. Qazox is too uppity. Kick their asses. Please. For all of us."

by **Virabia** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:16 pm

TO BE CONTINUED

What is that... I'm ripping off PIS. And he's doing it better. How DARE YOU INSULT ME! Epic quests are totally like drugs. All the cool kids have to do them and it gets repetitive... Right! Analogy don't make sense? Oh well! Point is, the epic quest for the Goblet of Time will continue tomorrow and probably conclude then too.

* The new guy is Alexanderburn. He doesn't say much...

Last.fm · by **Cosumar** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:22 pm

The Cosumarite Courier
Cosumar's #1 Sports News Source

Thrilling victory over Carpathia and Ruthenia keeps Cosumar's hopes alive

KALDUKOSIC, COSUMAR - For years, 18-year-old reserve striker Abel Scarloff has watched his idols such as Rikki Varshey thrust Cosumar into glory with dramatic last-second goals. Now, Scarloff is the youngest player on the team he grew up idolizing. Being a raw and inexperienced player, Scarloff has been sitting on the bench for the overwhelming majority of World Cup 56. Watching. Learning.

But when starting striker Luke Crisalus hobbled off of the field with a shattered ankle late in last night's game against Carpathia and Ruthenia, Coach Crowley turned to Scarloff in desperation. With the game on the line at 2-2, and precious little time remaining, he needed someone who could score - fast. While Corey Simmons or Fobi Na'Leus would have both been worthy choices, Scarloff possesses the explosive firepower and sharp mind that Coach Crowley desperately needed on the field.

"Scarloff definitely makes his share of mistakes, the type of things that come with being an 18-year-old kid playing with international superstars" Coach Crowley said. "But this kid is special. He may have no clue what we're doing sometimes, but that kid is pretty damn fast and has a knack for creating good looks at the goal. I needed someone who could potentially close the game out in the final minutes. So I took a gamble. I inserted Abel Scarloff - and it paid off."

The man of the minute here in Cosumar is, of course, Abel Scarloff. With a mere 20 seconds remaining and 2-2 score, and Carpathia and Ruthenia pushing towards the Cosumarite goal, defender William Riley managed to deflect the pass of a Carpathian striker with a smooth diving motion. Midfielder Irvinn Rincon collected the loose ball and scanned downfield, with only 15 seconds remaining. Utilizing over a decade of World Cup experience, Rincon was able to see Scarloff rushing down the field, breaking away from a Carpathian defender.

"I had an eye on the clock and knew we had very little time, it was now or never. I needed to create a scoring opportunity, no time for hesitation" Team Captain Irvinn Rincon said. "My six sense told me to check Scarloff and I saw him start to break away. And crossed my proverbial fingers and launched it that way."

With pinpoint accuracy, Rincon booted the ball the length of the field. All 130,000 spectators in Leviathan Arena turned their head. Gasping, tensing, hoping. The kick was true, and landed in perfect position for Scarloff to cleanly collect the ball. With nothing but green turf between him and the goal, Scarloff pressed on, free of all defenders. Scarloff approached the goal, angling in from the right.

9...8...7... The 18-year-old showed off some impressive footwork and feinted a shot, juking left and right, trying to throw off the goalie. 6...5...4... Finally, Scarloff found his chance. One of his feints had caused the goalie to flinch towards the right. Seizing the God-given opportunity, Scarloff fired towards the left corner of the goal, the ball sailing through the air and towards the goal. The entire Arena was shaking with silent intensity. The goalie leaped towards the left, his body fully extended, grasping for the ball. 3...2...1... The ball sailed into the back of the net, evading the goalie's glove by centimeters. Both Scarloff and the goalie fell to their knees, with opposite emotions pulsing through their bodies.

"I'm just completely speechless right now. I never thought I would have the opportunity to win a game in this manner, at this stage" Scarloff said post-game. "Irvinn [Rincon] deserves a lot of credit for finding me and just executing on it. I just can't believe it right now. But we still have another vital game against Oiseaui and we're going to get right back to preparing for that."

Cosumar had prevailed over their near-usurpers, Carpathia and Ruthenia, for the second time in this Qualification campaign. Although Scarloff's last-second (literally) goal is undoubtedly a highlight of the year for Cosumar Soccer, there was plenty of heroics and impressive soccer outside of the final minute. Rikki Varshney found the net early in the game to give Cosumar a 1-0 edge. Luke Crisalus hit a pull-ahead goal to make it 2-1 at the conclusion of the first half of play, deflecting a corner kick into the goal off of his head.

But as this penultimate match pushes Cosumar to a 10-1-2 record and 31 points, they are still behind North Chicanan by 1 point in the group standings and we must look to what the next few weeks might have in store for Cosumar. To clinch their spot in Valanora and Sorthern Northland, Cosumar must defeat last-place Oiseaui tonight at home. This should not be difficult, as Cosumar really handled Oiseaui well in their last meeting. However, their fate will also be in the hands of Pretty Awesome Persons - who will duel North Chicanan tonight at home. If PAP can manage to defeat, or even force a draw with the group-leading North Chicanese squad, Cosumar can obtain 1st place.

But even if things don't go our way, Cosumar's not done for yet, they will almost certainly advance to a playoff for the final 10 spots in the World Cup Proper, which Cosumar hasn't missed since World Cup 53. Medical Staff from the team's camp have reported that Luke Crisalus will miss his next two matches - meaining we won't see him again until the Proper (hopefully). His presence will be missed, but hopefully Scarloff's display of firepower tonight was not a fluke and he can fill the superstar's shoes for at least tonight's critical match against Oiseaui here in Kaldukos.

Thanks for reading,

Alphus Sizemore,
Staff Writer

Cosumar's World Cup 56 Journey
Pre-Qualifying Friendly: Qazox 0-1 Cosumar
Pre-Qualifying Friendly: Churchma 1-1 Cosumar
Matchday 1: North Chicanan 3-1 Cosumar
Matchday 2: Cosumar 4-1 Florinthus
Matchday 3: Cosumar 3-0 Hockey Canada
Matchday 4: Pretty Awesome Persons 0-4 Cosumar
Matchday 5: Italian Maifias 1-2 Cosumar
Matchday 6: Cosumar 2-1 Carpathia and Ruthenia
Matchday 7: Cosumar 4-3 Oiseaui
Mid-Qualifying Friendly: Osarius 2-2 Cosumar
Mid-Qualifying Friendly: Civil Citizenry 2-0 Cosumar
Matchday 8: Cosumar 0-1 North Chicanan
Matchday 9: Cosumar 3-0 Florinthus
Matchday 10: Hockey Cananda 1-1 Cosumar
Matchday 11: Cosumar 2-0 Pretty Awesome Persons
Matchday 12: Cosumar 4-0 Italian Maifias
Matchday 13: Carpathia and Ruthenia 2-3 Cosumar
Matchday 14: Cosumar - Oiseaui
Post-Qualifying Friendly: Khytenna - Cosumar
Post-Qualifying Friendly: Cosumar - Pasarga

Blue: Draw
Green: Victory
Red: Defeat

(Sorry for lack of RP, I've been on vacation)

by **Valanora** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:53 pm

This is your final cut off!!!

For Qualfying at any rate. Did you make it or will you be going to the playoff? Or home???

by **Qazox** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:14 pm

QWC56 XV

It was tougher than expected, but Qazox managed to escape with a 4-2 win over Allamunnic States and as such, automatically qualified for the 55th World Cup in Valanora/Sorthern Northland. While at a quick glance, a 2 goal win doesn't seem like the match was close, the fact that 3 goals were scored in the final fifteen minutes provided some interesting momentum swings. Let's take a quick recap, ok?

As stated before, the win puts Qazox into the World Cup, sends Allamunnic States to the Cup of Harmony, and sends Khytenna to a playoff berth.

Today's Three Big Questions: are for two of Qazox' most recent stars: Vic Johnson Jr. (Captain WC 53-55) and Thomas Evans

#1- What have you been up to since your retirement?
Evans: I've been working with the QOC to get the Olympic teams in shape for the 6th Summer Olympics. I'm going to be the assistant coach for the men's side.
Johnson: Spending time with my daughter, Aimee. She was born just after we came back from the last Cup in Aguazul/Delaclava. She's a little fireball.

#2- Does being famous, within Qazox at least, present any problems?
Evans: I can't speak for Vic, but since I've retired, I've been too busy working with the Olympic teams. But when I am about, I get reminded some times of goals I let in a decade ago or mostly people coming up to me and asking for autographs. It's fun most of the time, but sometimes it can get annoying.
Johnson: I get double-takes alot. I've cut my hair and shaved off the goatee since I've retired, and sometimes people don't think it's me. But the hardcore ones do. I've had to leave from some places with my wife and daughter because of the attention, but not too often.

#3- Do you wish you were still playing?
Evans: Sometimes. During Olympic practices, I usually challenge the teams to score on me on PK's. I've gotten about a quarter of them, so iether they're getting better at taking PK's, or I'm just getting old. But the work I do now keeps me active and tired enough to be glad i did retire.
Johnson: No. I'm suprised i lasted for as many years as I did. I stay in shape by jogging 10-15 miles a day, but the knees are getting creaky, the back aches too much and if I were still playing, I'd be missing my family too much, and I'd be missing Aimee growing up.

For the World Cup 56 edition of 3Questions, we, the editors, will be answering your question, about the teams we will have to face in the World Cup Group Stage.

by **Akbarabad** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:33 am

Tiger Eaters playoff against Mytannion for a World Cup Spot.

(Akbarabad Press, AP): At the end of the regular qualifying round, the Tiger Eaters have been drawn against Group 3 runners up Mytannion in a playoff match for the World Cup proper. We have never played them before and don't really now much about them, but by all accounts they will provide a tough challenge, having already edged out Newmanistan in a very tight group also including Queer Poco el Mono Ara. We still start the game as favourites though, and failure to qualify from this stage will be nothing less than a huge disappointment.

In other football news, the Tiger Eaters second eleven collapsed to a humiliating 4-0 defeat to Utmost Upright in our last qualifying match. With no hope of grabbing the sole automatic spot, seeing as leaders Bears Armed were hosting bottom side Peisandros, the Team management decided to send out a side composed entirely of second stringers. Many of those had not yet played in the qualifying campaign before, but even so the scale of the defeat was staggering. Some optimists might be inclined to argue that we have gotten our random defeat of the cycle out of the way and can go into the big game against Mytannion with a clear mind, but they would be superstitious idiots. The result really says nothing about either our form or our true capabilities. Hopefully come the match, we will play like we did against Bears Armed and not like we did against Utmost Upright and book a place in the finals. It goes without saying that the thought of participating in the Cup of Harmony hardly bears thinking about and is something that we want to avoid at all costs. We would really never again play in that tournament if we can help it.

WC 56 SNLVI RP Thread

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