WC 56 SNLVI RP Thread

by **Aguazul** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:09 am

"Ricardo? Hey! Ricardo."

Ricardo glanced over. "What?"

"I think you're lying to us. I don't think there is such a nation as Stranraer."

Ricardo raised his eyebrows, then turned back to the radio he was tuning. "Whatever gives you that idea?"

"Because," Miguel said eagerly, "because if there was, then there'd be such a nation as Berwick Rangers, too, and that sounds like a pretty dumb name for a nation."

"You'd be surprised about how many dumb nation names there are," José muttered.

"Hey, whose side are you on, anyway?"

"The side of whoever will let me actually do my job or go home, because this is getting boring."

"Well, the point is, they wouldn't have anywhere to play their home games."

"Berwick, much?"

"Okay, you can just go and shut up. Ricardo. Are we actually working today?"

"What?" said Ricardo. "Oh. Yeah. The time zones are different here."

"Have Aguazul played already?" said Miguel, and before either of them could answer turned his head, nodded, and walked over to the radio, turning it up.

"...proved unusually ineffective, as it were, falling to defeat against Aguazul. Muño Valcárcel scored twice in his start, so something's effective on that end, and Juan Esteban Oraglio added a goal in the fifti..."

"Miguel," said Ricardo, almost with pity, "you're really not doing your reputation as an unbiased observer any favors."

"No, I'm not, because I don't have one!" Miguel cursed.

"So the actual question," said José softly, "is how you should go about changing that."

by **Bears Armed** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:17 am

Goals

Nzyghistan: 1 _ o Wirrene [#17 (BRS)] (86 min.; own goal).
Bears Armed: 1 _ Oldwood [#14] (33 min.).

“Hwell, that was unfortunate, for true.”

“Indeed it was. Hwat happened to the Belles’ famously formidable offence, against such weak opponents, anyhows?”

“Too damn hot, there, too damn hot and too damn dry… and you know hwat seemed to happen for about one ‘away’ game per cycle until the last few, too?”

“Upset tummies for the team, you mean? But I though that they always took their own caterers and supplies with them nowadays, when they go ‘away’ to play, to prevent that problem as well as to prevent the lesser risk that somebody who supports the opposition might try drugging their meals — as happened that time during a ‘World Cup’ proper in, hwere was it, Somewhereistonia — as well?”

“They do, they do, and this time around it’s ‘Rennaye Westrry & Daughters’ who won the contract to provide that service… but I heard that hwat hwith the terrible heat out there in Nzyghistan the team were running out of bottled water from back here in ‘BearsHome’ far too quickly and had to ration it, and then some of them gave in to temptation and turned to the local water instead… and apparently that is hwat did it.”

“Urrgah! So, knowing hwat things were like out there, shouldn’t they have taken more water than they did”

“Ayyuh, they should, if they'd know, Trouble was, apparently they didn’t know: There’s simply so little information available anywhweres about conditions in Nzyghistan, even from this tournament’s organisers, that they had to rely too much on guesswork instead.”

“And so hwen o Wirrene had to try a back-pass to get rid of the ball, because the other side had finally plucked up the courage to try pressing forwards against Bears and were crowding her too badly, oSnowWhite simply felt too ill to react quickly enough to catch it?”

“Ayyuh”.

“Oh.
“Ah hwell, at least it’s a ‘home’ match next and our girls should all have recovered enough to play at full fitness for that game.”

“Ayyuh. Even if their next opponents are currently at third place in the group, looking att he overall pattern of results so far I don’t reckon that they should be too much for the Belles to handle”

“Say, looking at their national name, hwat [do those opponents actually call themselves anyhows?” Is it ‘A-b-c-d-e-f-g-h-i-j-k-l-m-n-o-p-q’ians’, or simply ‘A-to-q’ians, or ‘Alphabetics’ — which is the name that my own cubs have started using for them — or maybseo something else instead?”

“Ur’rmm, from what I’ve seen in the foreign press it seems to be Abdians that’s favoured.”

“Hokay, that’s the name that I’ll use for them in my article…”

__________________________________________________________

(OOC: The ‘home’ game against Abcdefghijklmnopq will take place in ‘New Grafford’ stadium, at WestPort.)

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 11:07 am

OOC: This is adapted from Keat's original poem La Belle Dame Sans Merci; though with a significant change in the identity of the narrator.

THE BALLAD OF LA BELLE DAME SANS MERCI

"O WHAT can ail thee, my Belle Dame,
Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge has wither’d from this lake,
And no birds sing."

O what can ail me, la Belle Dame
So haggard and so woe-begone?
Listen to what I have to say,
My tale's soon done.

You see the lily on my brow
With anguish moist and fever dew,
And on my cheeks a fading rose
Fast withereth too....

I am the lady of the meads,
Full beautiful—a faery’s child,
My hair is long, my foot is light,
My eyes are wild.

I play defence for your Empire
Not man to man, but by our zones;
In five games we concede but once;
Opponents moan.

And men who gaze on my fast pace,
And nothing else see all day long,
Will see me bend sidelong and sing
A faery’s song.

But in my home of relish sweet,
And honey wild, and manna dew,
Tis sure in any tongue I'd speak
“the Dark came true.”

It came into my elfin grot,
And there I wept, and sigh’d fill sore,
And there I shut my wild wild eyes
And help implored.

And there I lulled myself asleep,
And there I dream’d—Ah! woe betide!
The saddest dream I ever dream’d
On the cold hill’s side.

I saw pale kings and princes too,
Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They warned: “La Belle Dame sans Merci -
the Dark takes all!”

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gap'ed wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
In your Realm wide.

And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely loitering,
Though the sedge is wither’d from the lake,
And no birds sing.

by **Kernansquillec** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 11:13 am

FOOTBALL4KERS

HAROLD RESIGNS, U21 COACH TAKES OVER
After a poor start to the World Cup qualifing has meant that after an other dispointing draw against Nicole Riche Dean Harold has had his contract terminated by mutual consent by the KERFA.

A KERFA spokesperson told the press that "both parties had come to the conclusion that it was the best thing to do" and that "a perminant replacement will not be picked until after the World Cup Qualifing".

What does this mean for the Green and White? Well U21 manager Chappell Robert will take charge of the team, assisted by the currant assistant manageresse and his own assistant Jonathan Holden. Robert and Holden have led the U21s to two succesive Di Bradini Cup Quarter Finals and Kernansquillecan fans will be hoping they can work their magic with the Senior Team.

KERS DRAW AGAIN
Kernansquillec draw their 5th group game against Nicole Riche leaving them bottom of Group 14. Kernansquillec had gone in front thanks to a Kai Holmes goal, but Nicole Riche equalised late on to dash Kernansquillecan hopes of a first World Cup Qualifing win.

Kernansquillec have now drawn 3 of their last 5 games, losing the other 2 against Dorian and Sonya and Silver Beach.

GOALS NOT SHORT OF SERVICE
Despite being last in their group Kernansquillec are the second highest scorers in their group, only behind group leaders Dorian and Sonya. A total of 11 goals have been scored by Kernansquillecan players.

Kai Holmes is the Kers top goal scorer, scoring a total of 5 goals, one is each game so far. Fellow striker Kimmo Suutari-Jääskö has scored 3. Then Adam Lilac, Alex Glover and Gary Connor have all scored 1 each.

WHAT IS WRONG?
Kernansquillec's main problem is they aren't playing as a team at the moment. The manager has failed to get them to unite as a good team should.
The defence is also having a hard time, mainly thanks to a bit of a problem in central midfield where a main partnership is to be formed.

FANCY STUFF

All the info you n00by fans need.

L 1-2 @ Silver Beach (Holmes)
D 2-2 @ Septentrionia (Lilac, Holmes)
D 4-4 vs. Chenkorya (194th)
L 3-6 @ Dorian and Sonya (11th)
D 1-1 @ Nicole Riche (360th)
25th vs. Altimarus (262nd)
26th @ Erathore (43rd)
27th BREAK
28th vs. Silver Beach (56th)
29th vs. Septentrionia (UR)
30th @ Chenkorya (194th)
31st vs. Dorian and Sonya (11th)
1st vs. Nicole Riche (360th)
2nd @ Altimarus (262nd)
3rd vs. Erathore (43rd)

#  Group 14 WCQ     P  W  D  L  GF GA GD PTS
1. Dorian and Sonya 5  4  1  0  15 7  +8  13
2. Silver Beach     5  4  1  0  8  4  +4  13
3. Altimarus        5  1  3  1  6  6  +0  6
4. Erathore         5  1  2  2  6  7  -1  5
5. Septentrionia    5  1  2  2  6  8  -2  5
6. Nicole Riche     5  0  1  4  3  5  -2  4
7. Chenkorya        5  0  3  2  9  12 -3  3
8. Kernansquillec   5  0  3  2  11 15 -4  3

THE NEXT GAME
We expect the team to be the following: 1. Henderson, 3. Sweeper, 5. Connor (C), 4. Boursier, 2. Glover, 8. Matignon, 19. Harold, 6. Cressac, 9. Lilac, 10. Holmes, 11. Suutari-Jääskö.

Kernansquillec will be playing 3rd place Altimarus who have only lost a game so far in the tournament. Can the new coach inspire his team to victory? Or will it yet again be an other without a win for the Green Stalions? We'll be back with all the important stuff tommorow.

by **The Archregimancy** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 11:29 am

OOC: Paraphrasing (plagiarising?) large portions of Luke 10:1-37 wholly intentional

THE MONASTIC FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION REPORT ON THE 3-0 VICTORY OVER ERRINUNDERA

Before the match Fr. Sozon finalised his starting lineup and sent them into Errinundera ahead of him to train.

He told them, “The Potoroos have fallen on hard times,and their ability is not as before. Ask our Lord, therefore, to allow you to win upon the field. Go! For once I am not sending you out like lambs among wolves. Focus solely upon your training and do not greet any of those slightly disconcerting local genderqueers. Nonetheless, should we be welcomed and invited into their homes, eat what is offered to you. Heal the sick who are there if they ask you to and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’

The squad returned from training with joy and said, “Fr. Sozon, even the genderqueers welcome us!”

He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the Potoroos; nothing will harm you tonight, and I predict that we shall win by at least three goals. However, do not rejoice that the Errinunderan squad submits to you, but rejoice that your names are written all over tomorrow's sport pages.”

And then Fr. Sozon said to his squad: “A man was going down from Starblaydia to Sarzonia, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. An Orthodox monk happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a citizen of the Holy Empire, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But an Errinunderan, as he travelled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own giant wombat, brought him to a hotel in First Creek Falls and took care of him. The next day he took out two bola and gave them to the young woman at reception. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

“Which of these three do you think best treated the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

“The one who had mercy on him”, replied Fr. Innocent.

Fr. Sozon told him, “Go and do likewise - if you take a three goal lead, ease off somewhat, as I would not embarrass our friends in Errinundera, who have been such good hosts to you.”

by **Stachland** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:02 pm

Despite Loss, Stachland Still in Contention
by George Xavier

The Reds appeared to be making a comeback in the final minutes of the match against Bostopia, scoring in the eighty-first minute and threatening with several shots well into stoppage time. But the home team managed to hold on to the lead, earning the victory over Stachland two goals to one.

“We made some mistakes in the first half,” said Lyle Verdak, who scored Stachland’s lone goal of the match. “We dominated the second half, but it just wasn’t enough.”

Despite the tough defeat, Stachland is still third in Group 5, only three points behind Pasarga and one point behind Bostopia. Stachland will next be visiting Rebel Slaves, a squad that has earned two wins, one draw, and two losses so far in its qualifying campaign. “I’m confident in the team,” coach Theodore Czacki said. “We are one of the better teams in the world, and I am sure of our ability against a lower-ranked team like Rebel Slaves.”

Explosion Causes Minor Damage to Elevated Train
by Neville Krashesky

A train carrying more than two hundred commuters, including a Member of the Popular Congress and a popular football player, was damaged yesterday in Chevronia by an explosion. Police investigators report that the explosion was not an accident, and that someone was attempting to derail the train.

“We found residue of explosive materials on the track where the explosion occurred,” said Chevronian police sergeant Mikel Nilsk. “If anyone has any information they can provide us on who might have done this, please contact us online.”

Fortunately, no one was injured in the explosion, because the amount of explosive material used was not enough to either destroy the track or cripple the train itself. We will bring you more on this as the investigation develops.

National Beach Volleyball Championships Come to a Close
by Shervan Berton

Following a week of action, the National Beach Volleyball Championships came to a close today in Bruntesville with two teams, one men’s and one women’s, being awarded the gold medals.

In the men’s competition, Darren Cole and Akel Vermant were victorious, defeating their opponents Adam Opres and Jim McHoth 21-18, 14-21, and 15-11. For the women, National Magazine for Athletics contributor Aurora Farrell and her partner Midri Nor pulled out a close victory over Selma Richards and Katrina James, 21-9, 9-21, 15-11.

by **Valanora** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:09 pm

"So, any announcements coming for the national team you think?"

"I don't know, they only reopened the position a month ago for applicants. I imagine they are taking their sweet time in making the choice."

"Or they still don't like the applicants."

"Don't be so negative like that, I imagine that the applicants they have received are well enough liked."

"Then why are they dragging their feet with the announcement?"

"This is a big decision and will dictate the direction the national team will take over the next few years. Patience is a virtue."

"If you say so, I'd rather they just pick someone and live with the consequences."

"Well, some elf you are just rushing into a judgement like that."

"I'm actually only half elf. Mother was a human."

"That explains a few things."

OCC: I'll be making the announcement of the hiring of the national team manager during the mid-qualifying friendlies. Again, any and all applications are welcomed, just be sure to tg them to Valanora

by **Pasarga** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:16 pm

"Well, this is certainly a surprise. Five matches into qualifying and we are top of the table, quite the achievement no?"

"Let us not to get too satisfied or confident with the position that we found ourselves in, the winds of lady luck are fickle at best. There is still many dangerous obstacles on the path to qualification."

"True, but it is far better to be the ones being chased at this point than the ones having to do the chasing don't you think? There is that pride, that glamor, that confidence that comes in knowing that if it all ended right now, we'd be in the Finals."

"Remember that we are not here simply due to our own matches, both Stachland and Bostopia have unexpectedly dropped points. With another half of qualifying still to go, which includes matches against them both, I would take the confidence with a grain of salt."

"Okay, your point is made. What of the domestic league, who is your money on to come through these last few weeks and take the title?"

"CA Paulinthal of course. They have risen from nothing to be one of the most dominant clubs in all Rushmori football and on the international side they are a rising power. Also, they are leading the table right now."

"True, but Santos and Turkish are on their heels. I think Turkish pulls it out, it has been far too long since Stein-los has tasted the sweet victory of a championship in its streets."

"There are also the capital clubs."

"Oh pish posh. Featherdron struggles to stay in the Super League."

"Do not think their money wont one day bring them success."

"If you say so, I'll believe it when I see it."

by **Scrap Brain Zone** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:18 pm

Now, if the story ended like that, I wouldn't be telling it to you now, would I?

As it turns out, a small, fortuituous factor turned the tide. You see, the hero made a new friend when he arrived in the island. A boy. That little boy, that he met almost entirely by chance, just happened to have a knack for mechanical invention... and a biplane.

The two flew towards the Wing Fortress, battled the tyrant and chased him all the way to the Death Egg before it left the atmosphere. The boy went back to the ground, confident that his hero would do the work.

Eggman still had an ace up his sleeve, however... through unholy work and toil, he built a mechanical fac-simile of the hero in order to challenge him. Huge, armor-clad and covered in shiny silver plating, the doppelganger was nothing like the original in spite of the superficial similarity. Next to each other, they were as night and day. It was built for one thing and one thing only: to exterminate its organic counterpart with extreme prejudice. The mad scientist expected to pursue that objective at his leisure, but the deadly machine was already operational.

It started by showing what it was capable of. Buzzsawing through the air, it made a crude and slow, but lethal imitation of the hero's signature move. The cramped quarters and its size meant that even someone fast as lightning could have trouble dodging. It used wheels on its feet to close the distance in order to not give the hero any space. The hero found himself cornered. With all that armor and sharp bits, a collision was more likely to be fatal for him.

by **The Babbage Islands** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:32 pm

LASFT, Cafundeu (BPA) -- Former Petardos S/A and The Babbage Islands football star Tegan Nash Valdemar has given birth to triplet daughters, according to sources who spoke on condition of anonymity. Due to several converging risk factors -- age, multiple birth, and last year's miscarriage -- she has been on bedrest for the past seven weeks, and was admitted to hospital on Saturday. The condition of all concerned is understood to be satisfactory.

Neither Mrs. Valdemar nor her husband was immediately available for comment. They have been in Cafundeu serving a mission for the LDS Church for just over two years.

by **Mytannion** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:54 pm

by Vyacheslav Kokorin

Hm. We're not doing too well now, to be honest - not good, not good at all. We're third in the group, behind our two main qualification rivals - Queer Poco el Mono Ara and Newmanistan. We lost against Carasatoga 1-0, a game we really should not have lost. A game that has probably meant we will not qualify for the World Cup proper - and instead may have to endure a Cup of Harmony.. Enduring isn't the right word there, actually - as we could do decently in it, this time.

We did beat Logria 2-0, a nice margin of victory - Radoslaw Famoc and Filip Bosc (who is becoming an integral part of the national side, with Lenart Goricag starting to decline and probably being too old for the next World Cup), were the goalscorers and our Rushmori friends could not deal with the good performance made by the Hoops, with Robin Hjik controlling the play from midfield and making sure we won the game - Hjik will be a great captain for us when he takes the armband in the future. Jan Mufiak will be retiring soon after all.

Filip Bosc has an incredible goalscoring record for a defensive midfielder, playing 12 games and scoring 3 goals. A 1 goal every 4 games record, that's good. Anyway, that leaves us third in the group. We're two points behind Newmanistan and three points behind Queer Poco el Mono Ara - we've good enough goal difference. Sadly though, our results are pretty crap thus far. We have 3 wins, 1 draw and 1 loss - compared to Newmanistan's four wins and one loss and QPeMA's four wins and a draw.

We have one thing to be proud of though, we have conceded the least amount of goals in the World Cup qualifying group so far - only three, proving our defence and goalkeeper are good enough to cope against some top-class strikers.

Next up we play Newmanistan - who I said we'd play on Match Day 4 in our last issue... So we don't quite, always get our facts right. But oh well.

In other news:
Litala '93 surprisingly won the Mytanar Takillega, winning it on the last day thanks to a great victory over Parr City, who, despite all their money - very nearly got relegated. Litala '93 have some top-class players and will have to rely on them next season if they want to retain their title as they don't have much money in the Wyan Road coffers and so will probably not be able to sign too much new talent to make sure they keep a hold of their Mytanar Takillega championship.

The Whirl Islands beat Antoletia 1-0 at home in Navel, they're still not out of the two bottom spots of that group. Princess Beatrice Island are below them, meaning we still have an all-Rushmori bottom two in that group. Upsetting.

Pasarga smashed through Okunion with a 4-1 win and are top of Group 5, by two points clear of their nearest rivals Bostopia. At least it looks like one Rushmori nation will be making the World Cup - sure there is a long way to go in World Cup qualifying, but I'm a pessimist - we're going to the Cup of Harmony already, and I know it.

Pays de Horreur are second in Group 6, with The Holy Empire pulling away from them and the chasing pack in that group. Most recently the zombieland people beat Iglesian Archipelago 3-0. A great result for them.

Polar Islandstates are second, but are joint on points at the top with The Archregimancy. It is very tight at the top of that group, Astograth are also chasing in fourth place but Bleak Rock's hopes of making any form of impact look, well... Bleak. They're bottom with a single point so far.

A Rushmori trio make up the top three of Group 12, Albundania are top on 13 points - Cotdelapoms are second on 12 points, even though they beat Unitopolis by a tidy 2-0 scoreline and Sarrbia are third on 9 points, despite having a negative score differential.

Oh look! There's Geese on the Pitch!

Our league is so poor, Litala '93 - probably the poorest team (in money terms), in the top-flight won the league. They have some quality players to be fair and their support is top class. But, I mean come on - Atletik Thessia have enormous talent, packed in bags - they have Robin Hjik, for Juko's sake! 1896 Ebor even have a better team, and better fans too - but even with all their talent, they couldn't win.

Parr City, the side with massive amounts of money nearly got relegated too. Wow, just wow.

by **Kazzoria** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:58 pm

Kaz Blogs
Invisible Wabbits 0-1 Kazzoria

If you look at that result on the surface, it isn't overly amazing. Everyone has seen better, but hey it was a clean sheet and a win. But no, it was the effect it had on the table. If that goal hadn't been scored in the thirty-sixth minute Kazzoria would be somewhere else. They are now only one of two teams with a one hundred percent winning record left and are looking to stay that way. Without that win Kazzoria would only be five points clear on top, but instead they are now seven points on top.

The real result was in the other game. It was Novikov drawing one-all with Cafundeu. This meant Kazzoria took the lead by a large margin on the top of the group, the full seven points. With another good result and a few average results they will be looking to go through to the cup automatically. Maybe even in first place, which is never a bad thing for confidence and seeding.

Anyway the game itself was a very dull encounter, the only real chance was the Kazzoria goal and all the other shots were well off target. Both teams defended well, but with the single goal Kazzoria took the game and managed to entertain their tiny home crowd enough to keep them there. The result also puts Invisible Wabbits cleanly out of the qualification race by a full nine points. It might have seemed to be happening before, but this time it really looks like Kazzoria have a chance.

***

Damien was right to have a bad feeling. He checked the satnav when he woke up again, the news wasn't good. They were drifting out of the Silotian isles and there was still no phone connection to ask for help. The great wide ocean between Rushmore and the next region loomed ahead, even worse news was the fact that the current were slow moving around here. In fact the only fast current would take an entire months to get the to land. There were ten of them on the raft, all of them looked scared. They knew that they would have to be vicious to survive and it's recorded that survivours of that raft still crave certain meats unavailble in their new homes. Damien looked at the great ocean around, they were a total of fifty-five miles from civilisation and counting. They began to attempt to catch fish, there was a fisherman on the craft and they managed a decent meal. Yet he was old and was only here to avoid a lonely life without his family. They couldn't rely on him for food for much longer.

by **Polar Islandstates** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:59 pm

Finn Henriksen lay on the cold hard ground. He was bored.

Things were so slow here. They were stuck on a tiny rock in the middle of the South Kuril Sea yeah, but, still. There was nothing to do. Particularly not if you'd hurt your arm and the rest of the group had labelled you a cripple because of this. The Astograthis were amiable enough for people who'd just survived a plane crash, yeah, but they still seemed to have Henriksen labelled as the poor injured sparrow of the group, and were treating him with cotton-wool gloves. No such luck for Aer, the poor kid had short tempers and stress to blame for his black eye more than anything else, but if anybody in the group needed a punch...

Magnus Ragnorak still spent most of his time stood on top of the shack that they were calling home, even refusing to sleep, allowing others the chance to toss and turn in futile attempts to let the tendrils of sleep approach. Everybody was exhausted, but nobody could sleep. Ragnorak had retreated inwardly, as had everybody else really, but the process was far more noticeable in the normally chirping and effervescent bearded man. He was such an odd person to have around normally, endlessly wittering on and never shutting up. So to see him spending most of his time on the island stood looking at the horizon was a sobering sight.

One day, when the weather was a bit clearer, Ragnorak piped up excitedly, claiming he could see another island hovering near the horizon. They assembled on the roof, but despite squinting, the looming dark presence on the horizon was never conclusively proved to be anything more than a placebic vision. A few hours later, the weather closed in again, and the opportunity to confirm or dismiss this vision was gone.

Ragnorak had also claimed to have heard motors in the sky. Distant search parties perhaps. But the cloud cover was so thick on that day, even if the noises had turned and passed directly overhead, Henriksen doubted they would have been seen.

Shifting to a more comfortable position, Henriksen winced. Truth be told, his arm really was hurting a lot more than he was showing outwardly. Frustrated though he was that he was being treated like a cripple by the rest of the group, Henriksen was actually suffering a lot more than anyone knew. The cut was deeper than he had at first thought, and when he sneaked a look under his sleeve earlier, the wound was festering, and a horrible shade of dark red. His mobility was reduced, and he couldn't move his arm without feeling a stab of fierce, blinding pain coarse up his arm, seemingly right to hiss very soul.

So here he was. Sat, propped up against a rotting, worm infested shack. Not knowing what time of day it was in this endlessly rotating dull light of midnight sun obscured by thick cloud. And not a breath of wind in the air, spark of warmth amongst his companions, or blade of vegetation on the island. The doldrums. The very doldrums.

Henriksen thought of home, and a lurch in his stomach pulled down through his groin as his body shifted with longing and anxiety. His home on the outskirts of Matua, that little rock garden, his wife's eyes. Henriksen felt ill. How was she coping? How long had they even been gone? Was she still holding out hope that he would be found? would he ever get to see her again? To see her face, to look into her eyes, to stroke her hair, to feel her slow comforting breath at night in the bed as he lay going over formations and tactics, the warmth of her embrace. They were going to try for children this year. He'd put it off for his career and now she may never get the chance to share that experience with her. He'd ruined her life. He'd made her fall in love with him, and then he'd gone and got himself stuck on a godforsaken piece of rock in the middle of who-knows-where and ruined her life.

Filled with self loathing, Henriksen began to sob. What had he done? He was going to die out here. Die out here on a little piece of rock with a rotten arm and a headcold, all for the sake of some sodding youth club in Urri. Anger and resentment welled up in Henriksen, bitter and poisonous thoughts flooded his head.

"I HATE THIS! I HATE THIS SODDING ISLAND! GET ME OUT OF HERE! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING TO ME! THIS ISN'T! HAPPENING! TO ME!"

Screaming the words full pelt from his lungs, Henriksen suddenly had the attention of the other people on the island. Seabirds took off, startled. Peering out from where they were sat or stood, they stared at him quizzically. Almost sympathetically. Looking back at them through salted, tearful eyes, Henriksen grimaced, gave a cry of despair, and limped away to the beach to throw stones at nothing in particular.

* * * * * * *

Call me Ishmael.

Alexsandr van Sorensen, I take my hat off to you.

Well, if I had a hat. I don't have a hat. Kinda wish I did though, that would make me look pretty fly. Note to self, look up 'terns in hats' when I get back. If I can sneak some time on the internet that is.

But yes. Alexsandr van Sorensen is playing his way into a serious starting line-up position with these last couple of games.

Two assists against Bleak Rock, and now a superb late goal against Vantelira. Yes, past tense. I'm a bit late tonight, sorry about that. I come to you today, not from the pitchside, but from the executive lounge. Some kind of pre-fundraiser before our trip to Astograth, the missing seaplane still not having been found. Sombre times.

We were struggling, if I'm honest. The pressure seemed to get to the Terns, and we weren't playing all that well. It would seem the team doesn't react all that well to being the heavy favourites in the match, and both Skye and Blonqvist were choking under expectations. But who crops up when you need him most? Alexsandr van Sorensen. Late substitute Amadeus Irndtor came on for Skye and used his lightning speed to latch onto an optimistic long ball straight from Lars Hegg Gammel. Turning on a sixpence, he spotted the run of van Sorensen and passed to feet.

You never can tell what Alexsandr is going to do with his first touch, and I don't think anybody was expecting him to slam his toe into the ground as the ball reached him, chipping the ball neatly over the stricken defender. He then met the ball on the bounce with a wicked half-volley, leaving the keeper with no chance whatsoever. Stunning goal.

And who do you drop for a tougher game when you've got a trequartista playing like that? Nobody, that's who. Hauge may even make an appearance from the bench as he returns to fitness.

I can't talk long guys, I keep being shown off to big-wigs in suits, but Astograth beware. We might be sharing an international tragedy at the moment, but we're not going to pull any punches.

* * * * * * *

Starting line-up for next match against: Astograth
--------------------- Gammel ---------------------
---- Nikkel ---- Berg --- Marek ---- Pekarik ----
----- van Jendrisen - Sundstrom - Bielsen -----
------------------ van Sorensen ------------------
------------ Skye -- Ackermann-Finn -----------

by **Bleak Rock** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 1:32 pm

"...preparing to form her government with a 18-9 majority in the Hall of Dukes. Eva Hamundsdottir is well set up and well placed to become the first female leader of Bleak Rock, as well as the first leader to be elected post-independence. These are indeed exciting times for Bleak Rock, with tales of commercial policies being enacted nation-wide in the immediate future.

The first of which appears to be the nationally subsidised international advertising campaign for Blockhead companies. These companies without the means to be pushing for exposure and marketing abroad will now have their advertising budgets subsidised by the taxpayers for all foreign marketing campaigns in a bid to boost the global profile of our fledgling economy.

One such promise that is being upheld with immediate effect is the heavy sponsorship and advertising of the Blockhead national team. After such a brave run to the final of the Baptism of Fire, our national heroes have struggled in qualifying, and have so far failed to score a single goal. Nonetheless, these shirts, so well designed by Barrengeka Kits of Astograth, will now be adorned with adverts and sponsorships from various Blockhead companies, with some rumours floating on the ethernet that the players themselves will even be asked to carry temporary tattoos from the highest bidding companies. Hamundsdottir's office was unable to comment.

Reaction from the the Socialists and the Greens to the Commerz Party's complete domination at the polls has been one of upheaval, with several key candidates already having been removed from..."

by **Sorthern Northland** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 2:45 pm

You've got a slani barn and that's a bad cutoff.

The Book of Score[s].

by **Utmost Upright** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:46 pm

Utmost Upright pulls upset in empty stadium
by Friar Woodward

Not even the media was allowed into the National Cathedral for yesterday’s match between Utmost Upright and Milchama, so what details we do have about the match are threadbare and based upon the official match report as reported to the World Cup hosts. Scoring for Utmost Upright in the 2-0 upset of 57th ranked Milchama, who has suffered mightily during qualifications, was Brother Matthew and Cardinal Paul. The only substitution by either side came in the 83rd minute when Friar Belmore was removed for defensive purposes as Reverend Edmund came on in his stead. Brother Francis recorded 5 saves for his 3rd clean sheet of World Cup qualifications. Pope Peter announced after the match that fans will be allowed into the next home match against last in the group Peisandros, who have yet to score during qualifications. The Utmost Upright fans that I spoke to outside of the National Cathedral during yesterday’s match are already smelling blood for that home match, since Utmost Upright opened qualifications with a 4-0 win in Peisandros.

Utmost Upright 2
goal scorers: Brother Matthew (33rd from Reverend Philip), Cardinal Paul (64th from Father John)
cards: none
clean sheet: Brother Francis

Milchama 0
cards: none

by **Chetkosk** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 5:33 pm

--- Several years earlier, July 2011 ---

The rattle of automatic gunfire accompanied the splintering of wood as the door gave way. As the door flew off it's hinges a small shamble of zombies fell to the ground from behind the door frame, riddles with metal from the two soldiers on the other side.
"You're welcome," one of them grunted in gruff tones, "now get out of h-, have you guys got guns?"
"Err, yep. Every little helps right?"
"..."
"..."
"...good point. Carry on."

"Come on, we have to get to the hub." Again the three unwilling subjects followed Dr. Magrovich, down the stairs this time, and through the doors into the room long since abandoned by the zombies after all living souls inside it were devoured. There, sunken into a recess in the centre of the room, was the teleporter where they had each found themselves suddenly transported to, being greeted by the man who was now looking around the room and handling equipment. The large machine in the centre of the room fizzled quietly, still online but dormant.
"Did you discover anything doctor?"
"Sort of." He ran over to a computer and began typing in some data streams.
"Danil, go pull that lever down. Valeri, type '115 PAD B' into that computer when I say so. Erm...Keith...you can, ah...stand by that button."
"And press it?"
"Nnnno, just, stand there. Valeri, do it now." The subjects followed the doctors instructions for a minute, the sound of technology powering up around them sending chills down their spines. Not because of the sound, but because it was drawing attention from the undead. Zombies were battering at the doors, walls and windows, the thick glass revealing the corridoor beyond to be full of the vile creatures.

"Magrovich, what are we doing?"
"Setting up the teleporter."
"But aren't the other pad locations going to be overrun as well?"
"All but one. We haven't used it yet, it'll be safe for just one trip. This nightmare has been months in the making."
The three test subjects looked at one another. Two employees at a generic multi-national corporation, and an ex-international hockey player, united by the bizarre science at play here.
"Get in quick, they're almost through!" Dr. Magrovich ushered his companions into the compartment within the giant machine that was now sparking large bolts of electricity to contacts and conductors surrounding the top of the device.
"How do we operate the machine from the inside?" Danil enquired.
"You don't, I do it from the outside." And with that, the doors crashed open and the windows smashed, waves of zombies crawling into the room and heading for the four men.
"Magrovich no!"
"Stay in the machine, idiots! Just go!" Magrovich flicked a switch, the teleporter buzzed into life and arcs of blue light spun out from the counter-rotating cylinders. The front wave of zombies, and then the second wave, and then the third, were hit with the arcs of energy, shocking them into a second, permanent death. Unfortunately for Dr. Magrovich, he was also engulfed in the blue light. His body was lifted into the air, shuddering as his skin aged and rotted before Danil's very eyes, rapidly deteriorating into half a life, and then most certainly no life at all, hellish fire bursting from his eyes. The machine made a lot more noise than usual, jerking and swaying as Danil, Valeri and...Keith were surrounded by a blinding light, the noise of the device growing - a high-pitched wail screeching through their very soul before turning into a palpable ripple and echo of air.
The three test subjects were safe, transported far from The Bastille to the relative safety of another MIGU laboratory.
Dr. Magrovich was most certainly dead - how dead was another question entirely.

by **Darmen** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:13 pm

Darmen loses to Ko-oren by 1-0

By Scott Perry, reporter for BSRN and PBC Sports, as well as several other Darmeni Media outlets.
It was close
Darmen lost to Ko-oren by only a goal. And this time it wasn't the back lines fault. Darmeni Goalkeeper, Troy Osborne, completley failed in his attempt to save the Ko-oren shot. The ball bounced off of Osbornes gloves and into the net in the 88th minute. It was completley outragous and Manager Georges Thomas was not happy.

Zach Preston came back to the Midfield for Darmen after sitting out one game with a twisted ankle. He played relatively well, threatning the Ko-oren Goalkeeper twice. Both times the Ko-oren GK made spectacular saves.

Darmen now sits tied for last place with Sneaky Nuts and Tynelia on the bottom of Group One. Any thing less than a draw with Aguazul will put Darmen into last and possibly keep them there. So in other words, we're screwed.

Second Communist Group says "No" to talks with Rebels in South
Darmen's ruling Second Communist Group has stressed that it will not enter into any dialogue with rebels in the country’s flashpoint region of the South other than those over the town of Cadott, and dismissed claims of abuses allegedly committed in the southern region following its seizure by the rebels. Violence in Darmen’s heavily-militarized southern region erupted on the night of July 22nd between the Darmeni Army, Cadott Police, and allied paramilitary forces on one side and local elements aligned with the Islamic Freedom Front, and the Dalek Party, on the other. The two sides traded blame over who started the fighting, which has so far displaced over 140,000 people and killed dozens amid reports of heavy artillery and aerial bombardment carried out by the rebels. Speaking to reporters at the Second Communist Group’s headquarters in the capital Scott City on Sunday, the party’s media secretary, Adelani Gandoor, accused the rebels in the South of being responsible for "the death and displacement of families and innocent people in the Tyger Valley". Gandoor ruled out the possibility that his party would enter into negotiations with those who are carrying arms in the South other than the talks already taking place over the disputed town of Cadott. He further warned that the existence of any forces other than Darmeni Army, Police, or LMS troops in the South would be considered illegal. The South is home to the Mangolana population which largely sided with the Government during the two weeks of civil war with the rebels. Analysts say that the current clashes are also a result of the fact that the Government and rebels have failed to properly withdraw their forces from Cadott and the surrounding areas under the Comprehensive Peace Agreement (CPA), which ended two weeks of civil war on July 5th. Separately, the IFF strongly denied the occurrence of any war crimes or crimes against humanity in the southern region following its seizure of Cadott on the 22nd. The rebels denial was in response to reports in the Darmeni press that the IFF official Rabbie Abdelattif Ebaid had held a meeting with leaders of the Second Communist Group in Tempala and discussed the possibility of asking the International Criminal Court to investigate allegations of war crimes and crimes against humanity possibly conducted by members no of the Dalek Party in and around Cadott. "This is slanderous, Ebaid himself knows it is a slanderous bid that stands no chance of success," Gandoor was quoted. This week, the WA special Human Rights envoy to Darmen, Uthman Chandler, said he received reports of serious abuses, including rape, committed in Cadott and the surrounding region under the control of the IFF and Dalek Party. IFF spokesman last week warned the WA against spreading “misleading” reports on abuses committed in Cadott and the surrounding region. The WA ignored the warning.

by **Armorgames** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:58 pm

ARMORGAMES NEWS

Hello, it is Malcom Harrison.

Armorgames lost again, this time it was to The Allamunnic States. And guess what, AG only scored a goal, once again.

The scores for The Allamunnic States were Derrik Leifsson and Theo Brom. Their goals came in the 18th and 49th minute respectively. Leifsson's goal came off a corner kick that bounced off the side of his shin. Brom just went past the entire defense to score his goal. He celebrated with a backflip which was one of the best I have seen from a football player.

Armorgames' goal came from Ted Bresee who made the game even though his wife just gave birth to his third child, a boy. Ted came into the game as a sub in the 77th minute since he didn't even get to the game until halftime. The goal came off an amazing pass from Guy Peffer which was then headed in by Ted. The goal came in the 80th minute. Only 3 minutes after he had entered the game.

Ted's son is named Nelson, and he said he will do an interview with me since he didn't get to do one in the press conference after the last match.

The whole team didn't look that disappointed after the loss, partly because one of their teammates had another child and mostly because this Allamunnic States team is really good. They are in second in group 13.

Unlike the Allamunnic States, Armorgames is trending way down. They are in sixth and only a single point away from a tie in the basement of the group. This World Cup has been pretty underwhelming for AG fans and the best football might be found on the beach in the Beach Cup.

I guess all I got now is the interview with Ted. So here is goes.

Malcom Harrison

First off, congratulations on your new son.

Ted Bresee

Thanks Malcom.

Malcom Harrison

How does it feel to get a new child and score a goal in the World Cup within 24 hours?

Ted Bresee

I think the only thing better then scoring a goal is getting a child.

Malcom Harrison

So I would say you have had a pretty good day.

Ted Bresee

The only thing better would be to pull out a W, but you can't get anything.

Malcom Harrison

So, why did you name your child Nelson?

Ted Bresee

My wife mostly wanted that. That was her Dad's name.

Malcom Harrison

Alright, thanks for your time Ted, I am going to let you go now and catch your flight to go see your wife.

Ted Bresee

Thanks you so much.

And that is all we have for the broadcast.

Team                       P  W  D  L For  Ag +/- Pts
Qazox                      6  5  1  0  11   4  +7  16
The Allamunnic States      6  4  1  1  14   7  +7  13
Khytenna                   6  3  1  2   8   8  +0  10
Civil Citizenry            6  3  0  3   7   4  +3   9
Autobotious                6  2  1  3   5   9  -4   7
Armorgames                 6  1  2  3   6   8  -2   5
Greater Cotswalds          6  1  1  4   4   7  -3   4
Boico                      6  1  1  4   4  12  -8   4

Schedule
MD 1: Autobotious 1-1 Armorgames
MD 2: Qazox 2-1 Armorgames
MD 3: Armorgames 1-0 Civil Citizenry
MD 4: Boico 1-1 Armorgames
MD 5: Greater Cotswalds 2-1 Armorgames
MD 6: Armorgames 1-2 The Allamunnic States
MD 7: Khytenna v Armorgames
MD 8: Armorgames v Autobotious
MD 9: Armorgames v Qazox
MD 10: Civil Citizenry v Armorgames
MD 11: Armorgames v Boico
MD 12: Armorgames v Greater Cotswalds
MD 13: The Allamunnic States v Armorgames
MD 14: Armorgames v Khytenna

by **Churchma** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:11 pm

Churchma Gators WC 56 Coverage
Momentum carries Gators into matchup with Swartaz
Justin Bruce, BSRN

Isn't it crazy how quickly time flies by? We're already half-way through the qualifying stage of World Cup 56 and it seems like just yesterday this roster was announced. It's been nearly six months of time and currently Churchma is stuck in third place with 10 points. Nitrome Island and Swartaz each have 10 points as well, but Nitrome Island has the head-to-head advantage over us and we have the goal-differential over Swartaz- but will it last? But before we move on, let us not forget who is currently the group leader- Sarzoclava. That may sound similar to a nation named Sarzonia, a nation that we have encountered many times. Fortunatley for us, Sarzoclava is not exactly Sarzonia. We played them to a tie, but if we would have avoided a defensive mishap against them, we'd currently be in first place ourselves.

Let's get back to the most important matchup left before we face a greuling friendly schedule of Pretty Awesome Persons, Civil Citizenry, and Virabia- that matchup is Swartaz. A little something you should know about Swartaz- they are ranked 29th in the world, and are currently facing an embarassing 3-1 defeat against Nothan. Swartaz starts and stops with their captain, Johan Hesse.

Matchup to Watch
Johan Hesse (Swartaz) vs. Ryan Cote (Churchma)
To the surprise of many, Cote is currently the Gators second leading scorer since the beginning of World Cup 56 play with three goals. He's most well-known for his position in Erathore's Seria-A League with FC Mildrid, but he's quickly making a name for himself on the national team as well. Cote's phenomenal passing ability has allowed him to create gaps that aren't typically seen, and he's racing down field before the defending midfielders know what have hit them. Cote has been the beneficiary of a couple nice Preston Griffin passes, that have allowed him to get nine shots on goal.

Hesse on the other hand is the perfect matchup for an offensive-minded guy like Cote. Hesse is a defensive specialist, especially known for dispossessing his opponent. If Hesse plays like he has in the past against top-tier talent, it is likely that Cote may be in for a challenge. The bottom line is that the winner of this battle may in deed win the match. Additionally, whoever wins this match will most likely be in the drivers' seat of Group 15- despite the first half success of Sarzoclava.

BSRN Prediction: Churchma 2, Swartaz 1

by **Qazox** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:24 pm

Pika City Qazox, home of Emma St. James, Qazox's best seeling author of the Rola's Universe series, which have brought in over 2.7billion Zaqs ($1.35 Billion US) over the past decade with 16 books in the series. Emma St. James, and her co-writer for the last 3 books of the series, Jake Reisen; are at a press conference to talk about the rumors of the 17th book "Rola: Up Against Time" (the rumored title), being cancelled, along with the entire series...

Reporter #1- "Andy Firth, Fromburg Times-Herald. Ms. St. James, after such a string of successes, why end the series now? The 16th book, Rola: Superimpostition broke single-day sales records and has been #1 on the best-seller's list for the past 46 weeks, also a record. So why now?

Emma: There comes a time when as a writer, you reach a time when you can no longer write about a subject or in this case a character without either becoming hackneyed and predictable or jaded. I believe that I have come to that point with Rola T-ae Cie and the Rola's Universe series.

Reporter #2- "James Paco, Piky City World. Isn't true that you're just delaying this book to increase the fan's interest and increase sales, like when you delayed Book #9, Rola and the Imperial Scepter?

Emma: As I stated 5 years ago and will repeat now, the delay with that book was due to an editorial conflict I had with the publisher. This is not a stunt to increase sales or drive up interest. I'm done with this series.

Reporter #3- "Emily Haversham, Missouri.com book reviewer. Is there a chance that Mr. Reisen could take over for you to conclude the next book? He has co-written the last 3 books with you.

Emma: I brought Jake into the Rola-verse, as I believed that at the time I needed someone who I could absolutely trust to help me write a more technically accurate book in regards to various techonolgies that Rola was encountering. He's been a godsend these past 2 years, but I've spoken with him during these last 3 weeks before this press conference and we agreed that the time to end this is now.

Reporter #4- "Adele Cox, Qazox City Herald. Mr. Reisen, are the rumors true that you are planning a spin off set in the Rola-verse around her rival, Adam B-el Via, who has been her main antagonist over the course of your collaboration with Ms. St. James?"

Jake: If this book had been completed, and the character was still a viable character, then yes there was talks of a "spin-off" novel about Adam's past, but those plans have been placed on hold for now. Not saying that a couple years from now, with Emma's permission of course, that it wouldn't happen. But unless I get her blessing, those plans are shelved, pardon the pun, for now.

Emma: One last question.

Reporter #5- "Mike Fox, Las Vitas Globe. This is for both of you. So what are your plans now, and are you planning to write again?"

Emma: I'm taking at least the rest of the year off. After that, I don't know what will happen. I'd like to think that I would be able to write something again, but rest assured it will not be a Rola-verse novel.

Jake: I'm collaborating with another author on a book for children. The title isn't set yet, but it will be a book for children set in medieval times that stumble upon a secret treasure.

...after the press conference...

Emma: I'm glad that that's over, for now.

Jake: So, you never told me where you went on your vacation.

Emma: I went home and crashed on my couch for a few days, then putzed around Rockport Beach for about 2 weeks or so. You?

Jake: I had meetings with Frank Darbin's editors and publishers.

Emma: Darbin? Wow. From the #1 adult best-seller to the #1 children's best-seller. Congrats. So what's the book really about...

Jake: Can't tell you. But I was allowed to let it drop about the setting.

Emma: Just like Frank. I wish you the best, and if you do decide to start on that Adam book, you have my full permission.

Meanwhile... somewhere else in the present day:

qazoX at wc fifty-siX part siX!

A 2-1 win over Greater Cotswalds sets up a clash with Allamunnic States for the top spot in Group 13. Two goals from Dwight Lynn (54' and 72') gave Qazox a 2-0 lead. But a GW goal in the 90+2' minute, a shot from just outside the box that just was over Jessica Stone's leaping grasp.

Allamunnic States has had the better offense than Qazox so far, but Qazox has had the better defense. Based solely on rankings, seeding and paper, Qazox shoudl win this game, but given the rivalry these two nations have had in gridiron, one would expect that rivalry will spillover onto the pitch tommorrow night.

Today's Three Big Questions:
Today's questions are for Qazox' starting goalkeeper Jessica Stone.

#1- Ms. Stone, traditionally Qazox' goalkeeper has been one of the high profile positions on the team. How hard has the adjustment been to start?
answer- I'm well aware of the history that Qazox has had with their keepers. I'm 29, but I've learned from one of the best in Tommy (Thomas Evans). And I'm thrilled to live up to the challenge.

#2- If you weren't on the pitch, what would you be doing with your life?
answer- I have a degree in architecture from San Guano State. So odds are I'd be designing some boring office building or if I was lucky, the new stadium they're building in Lake Porter City. If I wasn't doing that or football, I'd probably be teaching if I had the oppertunity

#3- If Qazox does make World Cup 56, which nation would you rather the team visit?
answer- Sorthern Northland. I've never been there long enough to see some the local architecture they have there. Valanora does have some great buildings as well, but those buildings are some of the most well known in the world. I'd like to see somethings I've never seen before.

by **Jeruselem** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:54 pm

Kate Kool and her aunt Kat Kool after the Jeruselem teams home win against Mantwenic at Dazza Dallas Stadium

Kate: What's the hurry?
Kat: I'm taking little Dani to the local Jewish football girls club
Kate: Why?
Kat: She wants to join, I guess I have to be there as her mother.
Kate: Surely, they'll let her join. You're the Jeruselem World Cup coach.
Kat: It doesn't work that way over there.
Kate: Really?
Kat: No, they make you do all these tests first. Doesn't matter who your mother is.
Kate: I tried to join once, they said I was too short and stupid.
Kat: You're short but you're not stupid.
Kate: Too opinionated, they said. Look, I'm in the World Cup team. None of them are.
Kat: Hopefully things will go well.
Kate: I don't think they'll like her. She asks too much questions.
Kat: I'll see what happens.
Kate: I wouldn't bother, even Mum (Kara) was refused membership.
Kat: But your mother isn't the most submissive person in the known universe.
Kate: Well, I guess I'm the same.
Kat: Actually, they thought she was a Dallas because she was too pretty.
Kate: They can shove their membership up their ass.
Kat: I did hear it was primarily a private club for rich Jewish families and their girls
Kate: We are rich. Why aren't we invited?
Kat: I don't know, maybe we aren't Hebrew enough.
Kate: Stuff that, we mix with real power. It's not everyday you work with real royalty.
Kat: I must be going.

<Later at Kool household>

Kara: Hey sis, how was the interview?
Kat: Well, they sure weren't a friendly lot.
Kara: I told you so.
Kat: Little Dani wasn't suitable because she's too nosy.
Kara: She is a nosy but how does she learn things. Was she disappointed?
Kat: She told them to shove their tests up where the sun don't shine.
Kara: Hey, don't blame me for that.
Kat: I guess it's for the better.
Kate: So, how was it?
Kat: As you said
Kara: We'll teach her football. We're a real football family.
Kat: Keep in the family.
Kate: We're sounding like them Dallas girls now.
Kat: I know

by **Dorian and Sonya** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 11:57 pm

Unicorns Rule The Pitch 4-1. Offense Clicking Now!

Run. Run. Here comes the ball. Got it. Where is Narniel? Alura took the long pass from Silwen and prepared to initiate the first real attack of the match. Oh never mind. Spin right. J’hys will be there…She always is. Woops. There went the first defender, now for the second….play it forward….Now.

The pass slipped neatly past the oncoming second defender to find J’hys, who had come open as the defense moved to cut off the immediate threat of Alura’s surge forward. There you go. One on one with the keeper. Can’t ask for more than that. Ok girl, time to shoot…GOAL! GOAL! Nice work J’hys! That’s one. Now to see if we can get more.

*****

Time to move. Wend has the ball back. Run!….Damn. The cross was too hard… Drop back for the throw in….Holy Hell! How did Narniel get to that one?… Forward now. There’s the cross to J’hys… damn. The shot hit the bar…Move!…Wow, the defender passed the ball to me… Shoot!… GOAL!…I got one too. J’hys. 2-0 now. Got this one in the bag.

*****

[I]How did they get through? Alura watched as the visiting attack made a solid effort to push the ball into the Unicorn defending half. A slip from Nithiraxa had allowed them the opening that had been shut to them all match. Come on girls, shut it down… There is the shot. That’s interference! You can’t pick the keeper like that!…They allowed the goal? You gotta be kidding me?

*****

Here is the chance on this kickoff. Narniel is freakin fast so all I have to do is drop it perfectly between the left side mid and the back… There you go girl, now let’s see how fast you are… The ball played forward perfectly and Narniel showed a speed even the Gods would have been hard-pressed to match. She easily beat the middie to the ball and a quick spin moved her past the defender into open space in front of the keeper. Shoot! Now! GOAL! Now all three of us have scored! 3-1. BooYah!

*****

[I]Final play. Corner…Wend will take it…Where will she go?…J’hys at the post?…Jacina in the middle?… Just beat your mark and move on the back post… There’s the kick… Cross to the middle….get a head on it Jacina….She missed it…Goal? GOAL!…who was that?… Rhalimiel?…Where did she come from?…Oh who cares…Nice shot!… 4-1 baby! That’s what I’m talking about!…

by **Andossa Se Mitrin Vega** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:36 am

Sea Dragons Ready For Purple Peril

Mace: I've got a Trans-Am in primer paint
Nobody taught me, I was born this way
No silver spoon to feed a 401K
On Bourbon Street, the girls all scream
They callin' out my name

Jonasei: Man oh man! Another easy win! And a trip to Starblaydia awaits! What a day!

Kymy: Ok. Now you can be excited about playing the Purple Peril.

Laia: Excited yes, overjoyed no. These guys are in a whole different class than the sides we have been playing.

Mace: I wanna be a white trash millionaire
Ain't got much and I don't care
Count your cash and kiss my ass
This whole damn world gonna know I been here

Kylek: It’s almost scary to think about. Facing them on their turf, that is.

Jonasei: Scary? I cant wait to get my shots at Taniquentar. Goals against him will move me into the same conversations as the truly World-class goal scorers.

Laia: Gotta get past Walker and Blackwell before you get to Taniquentar.

Mace: I got two zig-zags and you know I’ll share
I’m everyone from nowhere
White trash
White trash
White trash millionaire

Fekelii: And just how does Mace propose to pass himself off as “White trash”?

Jonasei: Walker. Now that guy is scary. Not used to facing guys bigger than me.

Akaok: Who’s gonna mark Valrauncion? That should be our biggest concern.

Mace: Some got a castle of Mercedes Benz
Big time appointments
And all their fake friends
So tell me s'that as good as it gets
On the couch on the front porch
We’re all smoking left-handed cigarettes

Laia: If he comes over the middle, He is mine. Jonasei’s not the only one looking forward to a challenge

Fekelii: You want to mark Valrauncion? Sounds like a suicide career move.

Kymy: Laia is perfect for the job. He wont be expecting such a fierce challenge from her/

Mace: I wanna be a white trash millionaire
Ain't got much and I don't care
Count your cash and kiss my ass
This whole damn world gonna know I been here

Akaok: That means I had better be as ready to face Fëanáro. She has crazy skills with the ball.

Jonasei: Damned Elves. It isn’t enough to face them in Valanora or the Sylvanaes Queendom. They would have to be a huge part of Starblaydia’s squad as well.

Akaok: Admit it. You hate everyone who is not purely Vegan.

Mace: I got two zig-zags and you know I’ll share
I’m everyone from nowhere
White trash
White trash
White trash millionaire

Kylek: Yep. And don’t forget it, Zirakulii.

Kymy: enough of that, boys. Save it for the pitch.

Ombar: And no Dwarves to face. Hmmpf.

Mace: Get ‘em up, get ‘em up, get ‘em up high
Now we gonna go from side to side
Front to back, back to front, front to back
Here we go, here we go

Fekelii: This could be our first loss of qualification.

Jonasei: Shussh. Never say that again.

Kymy: Keep it positive. We have a chance to shock the world. But we have to stay positive.

Mace: I wanna be a white trash millionaire
Ain't got much and I don't care
Count your cash and kiss my ass
This whole damn world gonna know I been here
I got two zig-zags and you know I’ll share
I’m everyone from nowhere
White trash
White trash
White trash
White trash

I wanna be a white trash millionaire
Ain't got much and I don't care
Count your cash and kiss my ass
This whole damn world gonna know I been here
I got two zig-zags and you know I’ll share
I’m everyone from nowhere
White trash
White trash
White trash millionaire

by **Stuffed Taxidermists** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:58 am

The ST Sports Informer

Two losses on the go for Stuffed Taxidermists
Stuffed Taxidermists have lost their second match in a row, this time to Saugeais, in World Cup Qualifiying. Saugeais showed why they are ranked 70th in the world, outclassing Stuffed Taxidermists in most areas of gameplay, only letting down their guard on precious few occasions. Stuffed Taxidermists went into the match in second position in the group, with The Kiaser Colonies and Saugeais breathing down their necks. They knew they at least needed a draw, but it was clear from the beginning that ST weren't on their game. Saugeais repossesed the ball off of ST as soon as the game started, attacking fierecely and putting Stuffed Taxidermists's defence on edge. Shot after shot was fired at Vario Manfini, and he struggled to save them, quickly tiring along with the rest of the defence. Soon enough the defence could take no more and Saugeais scored in the 27th minute with a shot from their striker Amaechi Olsen. Surprisingly enough though, Stuffed Taxidermists hit back with good pressure applied from Frank Hunser and David Smith, allowing for Horhae Ronazo to grab the ball on a few occasions. The equaliser came in the 42nd minute, right near the ned of the half, when Horhae Ronazo got on the right end of a pass from Machiavelli and somehow put the ball past Jenson Paulson. The game went into half time with the game all tied up and Stuffed Taxidermists feeling very lucky still to be within reach of Saugeais, let alone be on equal terms. After the break though, Stuffed Taxidermists were back in trouble with Saugeais attacking fiercely once again, applying all the pressure and dictating the matches terms. Mark Railes put Andrew Lelsh on for Frank Hunser in the 56th minute to try and stop Saugeais, but it proved impossible. Their Left Winger, Cane Pryor, put through their second in the 66th and effectively ended any chances of a Stuffed Taxidermists revival. The ST midfield tried to turn the game around and manage a draw, but Saugeais were too good and in the end comfortavle won 2-1. The loss leaves Stuffed Taxidermists in 4th spot in the group, meaning the match against Kryteni will mean alot to Stuffed Taxidermists. A win seems impossible against the 13th ranked team in the world, but maybe a home advantage might help. The best we can hope for is a draw. Here is the starting 11 for the match against Krytenia:
4-4-2
GK Vario Manfini (Wanderers FC)
RB Henri Kull (Eastern Rangers)
RCB Alonso Rivera (Thaplace City Tigers)
LCB Cole Dash (Thaplace City United)
LB Nicholas Marchson (Wanderers FC)
RM Andrew Lelsh (Eastern Rangers)
RCM David Smith (Forden)
LCM Simonelli Deranoi Meralda (Eastern Rangers)
LM Machiavelli (Thaplace City Tigers)
ST Horhae Ronazo (Wanderers FC)
ST Tequternana Xven (Cape Renko Dolphins)
In: Cole Dash, Andrew Lelsh, Simonelli Deranoi Meralda, Tequternana Xven
Out: Lion, Frank Hunser, Orlando Fisher, Gino

WC 56 SNLVI RP Thread

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