WC 56 SNLVI RP Thread

by **Mytannion** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 12:46 pm

This was always the busiest time for a football agent. It was the Mytanar Takillega close season, the league season had ended with Miago City winning their first ever Takillega title - they were gearing up for the new season - aiming to turn their surprise title into another, and to defend it. Teams like Atletik Thessia, who had the strongest team in the country (well, going off the amount of titles they had won compared to other teams), and several national teamers from various different countries that graced this side had somehow lost out to Miago City - whose side were made up of good local talent and some clever buys by the Miago manager.

Teams were gearing up for the new season - this meant buying new players - and Dimitry Zinoviev, a football agent - was only too happy to help players get their dream transfer to a new club. He was all too happy just to get a transfer done. It was of course, how he made his money. However, there was something else there that Dimitry enjoyed in his role as a footballers agent. He almost pulled the strings of football - he could engineer a big-money move for a player, from a relatively small side - to one of the biggest teams in the country. He could also prevent this - and instead leave his clients in the cold at their current club. It was like being a football God. Nobody really thought about him though - but he was always there, invisibly controlling what goes on inside the football world.

Dimitry was currently sitting at a desk, in his company's office in Esca. He could have chosen to locate his company in Thessia - it was, after all, the home of sport in Mytannion and would of perhaps of been more fitting for a sports-based company. He had however, chosen to locate his offices in the capital of Mytannion - Esca instead. It had a sense of grandeur and wealth that other places within Mytannion's borders seemingly lacked completely. Dimitry supposed it was because it was the capital city and the seat of government. It was also where the Mytanar Royal Family spent the majority of their time (the rest of it was spent between their castle at The Alzburg, and up in the snowy climes of Ebor).

Dimitry's phone beeped, this instantly emptied all other thoughts inside his head. Dimitry shook his head and picked his mobile phone up off the desk. He pressed a couple of buttons on the mobile, and then looked intensely at something on the screen. He tapped the table with his other hand. Dimitry smiled.

Another player wanted his help to move away from their current club. This was Dimitry's paycheck. See, this is what defined the transfer window in Mytannion. Players did not want to stay at clubs they were not happy at. They would look for a move, in hope of a brighter future at a club where they were actually wanted and would actually play games, getting that valuable game-time that meant a player was at least wanted by the club they were at.

Of course, this transfer window was a bit different, the World Cup would be happening right slap-bang in the middle of it. Players would be looking to impress and perform well at the World Cup, in the hope that they could get a move abroad to one of the biggest UICA-ranked leagues in the world, to a bigger club. Or even to a bigger club within the Mytanar Takillega. It made Dimitry's job a whole lot easier as some of his clients made the World Cup squad. If they put in decent performances - he could move them basically anywhere in the league - and possibly even to one of the bigger leagues abroad. Dimitry was a good agent, after all.

Dimitry's phone beeped again. Another player was texting him. Another player who would want a move - why else would they be texting him? Dimitry's work had started now. The transfer action had begun. Dimitry knew that as soon as his phone first beeped in the close season transfer window, that the transfer action had begun. The next morning, he would ring up every single one of the Mytanar Takillega team managers, there were twelve - and he would find out what they needed players-wise, and he would try to meet their needs by getting them the players they needed, in whatever position they needed.

Dimitry rubbed his eyes, he was tired - but then, he always was - he normally only got six hours sleep a night - he didn't need much. Football agents as a breed were a bit different - they never seemed to sleep, they always had their phone on, it was always beeping. Dimitry was always exhausted at the end of each day.

Dimitry took a second mobile phone out of his pocket. He had his wife on speed-dial, along with his daughter and some of his most high profile clients. He clicked one button and instantly the phone was ringing, there was a click. His wife had picked up.

"Hey love, I'm coming home now - I should be back at about 7." Dimitry said.

"Okay Dimi - See you in a bit." She replied.

"Bye then." He clicked a button again, picked up his other phone and his briefcase and started towards the door. He'd have to beat the commuter traffic in Esca to get back to his suburban home in Ouverjavaa. He opened the door, walked down the corridor and then to his car. He went home.

by **North Chicanan** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 1:05 pm

(ooc: knowing I missed the cut-off should make this far more humorous)

North Chicanan Daily Rabbler
Going In with Very Low Expectations

Nation Braces For A Fifth Place Finsh
Should drop home debut against Cosumar

Arica Riddler, Provincetown

The North Chicanan National Team gets set for a probable home loss tonight in Provincetown against group favorites Cosumar, and St. John's is already braced for rioting - on the eve of the rest of World Cup 56 qualifying and the regional Chicanan Open.

Hoops Schedule

MD01 v Cosumar (at Free State Arena, Provincetown)
MD02 at Italian Maifias
MD03 v Florinthus (at Cold Harbor Stadium, Port Augustine)
MD04 at Carpathia and Ruthenia
MD05 v Hockey Canada (at National Square, Southampton)
MD06 at Oiseaui
MD07 v Pretty Awesome Persons (at Hard Rock Arena, St. John's)
MD08 at Cosumar
MD09 v Italian Maifias (at Kodiak Memorial Park, Douala)
MD10 at Florinthus
MD11 v Carpathia and Ruthenia (at Ital Palace, Bishop)
MD12 at Hockey Canada
MD13 v Oiseaui (Highlands Park, Victoria City)
MD14 at Pretty Awesome Persons

The team, surprisingly still led by Josiah Rhys-Williams, has surprisingly little pressure from the FA this time around, following amazing crash-outs in the World Bowl and World Cup of Hockey. As the team is coming off a Sweet 16 finish in the last Cup of Nations, the national sentiment is to expect the Hoops to falter against teams it should beat up upon and finish in the low middle of the pack.

Coach Rhys-Williams, however, says that the national psyche has to shift and he fully believes the changes to the 3-5-2 makeup he's installed will help in this, as has his decision to retain James Pratt as captain of the side.

"We have no interest in being defeatist this cup," Coach said during morning warmups at Free State Arena, "we want to build off a successful debut at the World Cup. We finished fifth out of ten teams and won our group at the Cup of Nations, including an impressive win against Newmanistan. The group is well built for us to be competitive and with a lucky break, we could even win the group stage."

Figures he'd be all positive. Rhys-Williams' official contract, leaked by CityTV, shows he cannot be fired until the end of the current World Cup cycle, so he knows he has a job regardless of the finish the Hoops have.

As for the group...well, we have two impressive sides in Cosumar and Pretty Awesome Peoples and a national favorite in Hockey Canada - having played them enough in the old Cherry Cup gives the team a bit of nostalgia. The other sides are unknown, with several competing in the Baptism of Fire. As we know, seeding is both everything and nothing for the competition and everything to do with Margaret, she who controls the luck of the nation.

We have decided, against better judgement, to predict how the breakdown will go this time around. With less games in qualifying and more unknowns, things should break out and sneak the Hoops into the discussion.

But apparently Margaret is amused at our actions and has chosen to stop such nonsense.

Group Winner: Cosumar
Runner Up, Playoffs Candidate: Pretty Awesome Persons
Hockey Canada
Florinthus
North Chicanan
Carpathia and Ruthenia
Oiseaui
Itailian Maifias

Yep, even with a perceived lack of major threats we see the Hoops dropping all four matches with the stronger sides, splitting with Hockey Canada, Florinthus and probably loosing both matches with Carpathia. Getting four wins against the bottom dwellers keep us in 5th, and the team's rank will promptly drop to around 100th.

Huzzah for low expectations?

by **Krytenia** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 1:15 pm

Tock Off

Some of you may have seen the plans to build a world clock in Bromham as part of the regeneration of the former capital of Nova Mercia. On the face of it - and, as a clock, the face would be a good place to start - it sounds like a great idea. After all, what says "cosmopolitan" better than a postmodern homage to internationalism?

One problem though: they really haven't thought this through.

It's all well and good espousing the wonders of the AOTC system of time zones. This, however, is a system that's widely ignored outside the confines of Atlantian Oceania, and even then is only used by about seven nations within the region.

But all that's just the tip of a ticking iceberg.

There are many nations out there with a different calendar, a different measurement of time...hell, even a different concept of numerology. So when it's half eleven in the morning in Bromham, it's three-eights and six past eight-three in Bears Armed, and in the nation I've just made up in my head, it's a toaster past fnarg.

So my message to the higher-ups in the Capitalia Regeneration Committee: spend the money on a nice statue instead. Preferably of me.

by **Darmen** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 1:40 pm

Note to Host: Do not count this towards my RP bonus. Thank you.

Scott Perry's Prediction for the WC56 Qualifying Stage
Scott Perry is a WC Reporter for BSRN and PBC Sports, as well as several other Media outlets.

All in all I want to wish good luck to all the teams and I just want to say that I hope all of the participants play safe, stay safe, and have fun.

by **Saugeais** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:12 pm

A Minor Setback

In front of a sellout crowd of 68,500, the Saugeais faithful greeted their team to a rousing ovation, but once the game began it was all business. The match started with Krytenia and Saugeais mostly playing offensively, both trying to establish where the holes in each other's defenses were. And it was the Aces who struck first in the 12th minute. Off a corner kick, forward Cameron Davis leaped up high for the redirction header into the net, giving them the early 1-0 lead. Saugeais kept fighting back, trying to establish possession well within the Krytenian zone. And as luck would have it, the Knights found a seem, with Luko Šimić and Amaechi Olsen in the box trying to make something happen. Taking the ball back out, Olsen shot a ball that was deflected away by the keeper, but Šimić was there for the rebound and slammed it home to tie the game up. After that goal, there was a whole lot of battling for possession, even causing a few cards to be shown. But it wasn't until the end of the game where the presence of the more skilled, and aptly named, Aces was shown.

"We had all the momentum going in," said manager Benoit Howard at the press conference. "And it took one little goal to break our stride." He was, of course, referring to the goal scored by Krytenian forward Michael Anderson in the 2nd minute of stoppage time in the second half. The game was tied for a good long while up until that point, and Howard was already into the mindset that drawing the top ranked team in the group could help the Knights chances a little more. But when Anderson chased down a ball that was passed in behind the defense, Howard started to scream at his players "Get back!" It was too late as Anderson, moving to his left, shot across his body and away from keeper Jenson Paulson for the score. The home crowd fell silent as the rest of the Krytenian players gathered around to celebrate, but the Knights wanted to get started and launch one final attack. The play quickly ended, as the ref blew the full time whistle before any attack could be made.

"I guess this could be blamed on the refs, but I won't do it," said Howard. "Our team just flat out lost it down the stretch, and I'm making no excuses for that. We will come out against this "Jedi" team next game and turn our fortunes around."

Scoring recap

Goals:
Saugeais - Luko Šimić   36'
Krytenia - Cameron Davis  12',  Michael Anderson  90 + 2'

Substitutes:
Saugeais:
Hans Sordet  (Thomas Quentin)  77'

Krytenia - ???

Yellow/Red Cards
Saugeais - John Barker (yellow), Metin Feik (yellow)

Krytenia - Leon Sartelli (yellow)

Saugeais Qualifying Schedule:
MD 1: vs. Krytenia L 1-2
MD 2: @ Jedi8246
MD 3: vs. West Guiana
MD 4: vs. Landau Institute
MD 5: @ Rhodesiah
MD 6: vs. Stuffed Taxidermists
MD 7: @ Kiaser Colonies
MD 8: @ Krytenia
MD 9: vs. Jedi8246
MD 10: @ West Guiana
MD 11: @ Landau Institute
MD 12: vs. Rhodesiah
MD 13: @ Stuffed Taxidermists
MD 14: vs. Kiaser Colonies

by **Arkinesia** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:22 pm

Words by: Frank McClellan

It was a rough game for the Golden Wyverns. In spite of allowing a goal against the Legalese national team early in the match, the Arkinesians found themselves chasing the ball around and not a lot of success elsewhere. Although the game is a huge setback, the team are still alive in this tournament, mainly considering the fact that nobody drew in this match day.

Things That Went Right

Well, readers, let's be honest. If you were watching the game you know the defense was hardly bad. Any game in which a defense allows one early goal is anything but bad. But how else could we call a scoreless game one in which we did things right? Well, on top of the defense doing an acceptable job, the offense did create a lot more opportunities near the goal than the friendly with Churchma. Wolf Kaufer wasn't getting the ball as much, though I'll cover that elsewhere. The Arkinesians succeeded in creating opportunities near the goal like they should have, but failed to capitalize. One can do little more than call this a game decided by the luck of the draw.

Things That Went Wrong

Well, there's the early defense for starters. The defense looked slow and clunky until the Legalese team buried the ball in the back of the netting. Wolf Kaufer wasn't getting enough opportunities at the goal. The offense was good, but failed to capitalize on many good opportunities.

With an upcoming match, the Golden Wyverns have things to work on, but let's not write them off just yet. These guys still have a shot at making it into the World Cup—let's keep cheering them on!

by **Orlkjestad** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:28 pm

Fonzie's Blog

Thoughts for Today - July 20

So, some of you guys are following every single detail of the World Cup. Sure, we might be in the top 40 teams in the world, but who cares? Sure, the odds may be looking good, but who cares?

There's other news! Like the plane that had the birdstrike! The earthquake that happened somewhere! The fall of some tinpot dictatorship on the other side of the world!

Aw, screw it. My sponsors say I have to write some blurb about WC 56 in my blog posts, so here goes.

We won. The end.

Wait, that's not enough? Okay, alright.

We won against some nation that has a name I can't pronounce 3-0. It was a home game, and the scorers were Raoul Halvana and Al Vandenberg. This does not come across as a surprise, since they're one of the lowest ranked teams in the world.

Seriously. Until we face off against Jeru FC or Capiviara Group, this WC will be boring for us Orlkjestadi sports reporters.

So, we won. Need I say more?

Join me next time, where I'll have to talk about the WC... again...

by **Kagdazka and Pazhujebu** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:28 pm

OOC: Aaaaaaah... late. Bollocks.

A WEB TV TALK SHOW!

A jaunty but exceptionally annoying theme song plays, wherein the phrase 'Grilled Brie for 3' is simply sung over and over again, ad infinitum. Following a series of terrible CGI special effects, which display a drawing of the globe slamming into the flag of Kagdazka and Pazhujebu, causing a massive explosion, the camera jerkily pans to the two very irritated-looking hosts of the show, Fušia Oujadda and Peregrina Thašighi. Today they are sitting in the chairs of what appears to be a hotel bar, a small card table set up in front of them, adorned with some kind of fancy cheese creation.

TODAY'S GUEST:

Brutušam Erassi

Fušia: Well, unfortunate viewers, I personally would rather be bathing in a vat of stomach acid than here, but it is what it is and-

Peregrina: Just stick to the script, you retard. Remember what happened last time?

Fušia: I object to the use of the word re-

Someone out of the frame of the shot clears his throat conspicuously.

Peregrina: Welcome to Grilled Brie for 3. I'm your very good-looking host, Peregrina Thašighi.

Fušia: And I am your much-better looking host, Fušia Oujadda.

Peregrina: As you know, we're both players for the Kagdazka and Pazhujebu national team. Anyone with a television will have heard about the very public fistfight that occurred between myself and Fušia during the Baptism of Fire final.

Fušia: That's right. Normally we'd be concentrating our efforts on training at this time and trying to avoid speaking to one another. But the team we play on together has a new manager, and he wants us to turn a page in our relationship.

Peregrina: So, here we are, hosting a web TV talk show together.

Fušia: I can already feel my heart warming to you.

Peregrina: Really?

Fušia: No.

A hand reaches into the frame of the shot, clutching sheets of papers. The person's other hand then reaches into the frame as well and taps the script firmly.

Peregrina: This is, like, humiliating, Mr. Erassi.

Out-of-Frame Voice: Too bad.

Fušia: I won't read this next part, it's ridiculous.

Out-of-Frame Voice: Then I guess you won't play in our next game.

The next lines are forced and delivered through the falsest smiles than can be applied to the human face.

Fušia: Ugh, fine. Would you like some grilled brie, Peregrina?

Peregrina: Oh yes, I would love some, Fušia, thank you.

Fušia: Mmm. Isn't it good?

Peregrina: Oh, yes. Where did you get the delicious baguette we are eating this lovely cheese on?

Fušia: I made it myself.

Peregrina: Wow. Neat.

Fušia can't resist throwing in an unscripted sarcastic comment.

Fušia: Oh my gosh, this is web TV gold, coach.

The out-of-frame hands reach in carrying the script once again and tap it even more firmly.

Fušia: Well, the only thing that could make this delicious snack better is to bring in a guest.

Peregrina: I agree. Luckily, we have someone here to join us right away.

Fušia: Oh, goody. Who ever could it be?

Peregrina: Our guest today is the newly-appointed manager of the Federation national football team, Brutušam Erassi.

The camera zooms out so that a third person is included in the shot, a balding middle-aged man with light skin, dark eyes, and a thin beard. Viewers will recognize him from his photo in the KPFA's WC56 official squad listing.

Fušia: Welcome, coach. Sorry about the smell.

Brutušam: You mean the cheese, right?

Fušia (while looking at Peregrina): Yeah...

Peregrina: Now, this show was your idea. Tell us, what is the point of it?

Brutušam: Good question, Peregrina. I think it's only fair since you made your personal feuds with each other so public that your reconciliation is made public as well. I've decided that this show will be both edifying and educational for fans as well as healing for you two.

Fušia: What a lovely idea, coach.

Brutušam: Let's cut down on the sarcasm, Oujadda.

Fušia: Who's being sarcastic?

Brutušam: Don't you have a question to ask me, there? I think I can see something in the script in your hand that you're supposed to be reading from.

Fušia: Yes, I suppose I do have a question to ask you. Your appointment was made quite late in the cycle, replacing the beloved Baba Yaga. You've had very little time to get in the swing of things, and the only chances you've had to see the team in action have been two friendlies; one in a Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy quarterfinal and one in the Sal Lazzara Memorial Shield. How do you feel the Urchins performed in those games?

Brutušam: Very well, Ms. Oujadda. I just happy to be in the dugout, really, but was even happier with the two victories, one over Sarzonia and one over Southern Cynocephali. I think the decision to move you into more of a striker role, as you play for your club Ranca Toco, will help out greatly. Did you feel more comfortable out there?

Fušia: Kind of. I mean, I started my career as an out-and-out midfielder, but as things have progressed in my career I've been playing as a striker more and more and, as you say, that's the only position I've played for Ranca Toco. So it came naturally, really. And any player is happier to be getting more sniffs at goal.

Peregrina: Perhaps our victories were, like, due to the low quality of the opposition, however? Let's not forget, Sarzonia failed to qualify for the last World Cup, and Southern Cynocephali's only experience on the international stage is their recent participation in the Baptism of Fire. It might not all be down to Fušia being any good. Which she, like, isn't, in my opinion.

Brutušam: Funny, I don't remember that question being in the script, Ms. Thašighi.

Peregrina: Sorry. I just thought that, like, any, like, smart person would have asked it.

Fušia: Yeah, because you know so many smart people.

Peregrina: I'm going to take the high road and read the next actually scripted question.

Brutušam: Well done, Peregrina, go ahead.

Peregrina: What do you make of our next opposition? Our Matchday One opponent is Polar Islandstates, a very strong-looking team from Rushmore. Do they pose any threat to us, especially considering we'll be playing at home at the Graha'ajat Stidiyama, and the weather is supposed to be grim?

Brutušam: I would be unhappy if we came away with anything less than a victory. But don't get me wrong, the Terns are no joke. They'll bring their game, and then some. I suspect they'll be playing for a draw, but they have two lovely strikers in Timo Skye and Patrick Ackermann-Finn at their disposal and it won't be any trouble for them to snatch a winning goal on a counterattack if we aren't careful.

Fušia: Ackermann-Finn and Ryurik Mizirov, one of our starting center backs, play together at A.F.F. in Cafundéu. Will that matchup benefit the Urchins or the Terns?

Brutušam: Wow! Well done, Fušia! An unscripted question that's actually insightful!

Fušia: No big deal, I'm just awesome.

Brutušam: I think it's going to be tough to say. But, like I say, it is going to be raining, and while our side is used to playing in the wet Zhevassi conditions, the conventional wisdom is that rain favors strikers. That might be a factor when, as you say, you have two players who are so familiar with one another from being at a club together opposing one another for country.

Fušia: I've always struggled to get a sniff at goal when I've played against Mizirov in the Primeirona. Hopefully he'll keep it up against his A.F.F. teammate. One more question, coach: generally speaking, how do you see the appointment to the Federation national team job affecting your career?

Brutušam: Well, it's really a pleasure to be here in the first place. When you consider that, really, I'm just a regular guy from Emuzhezh who got lucky and managed to take his favorite club up into the First Division, it's really an honor to even be here.

Peregrina: I think you might be, like, selling yourself short a bit, there, coach. Any old schmo can take a crappy Second Division team and get promoted; the parity is so, like, high. But you managed to keep Urnabhi up, season after season, in no small part because of that stroke-of-genius Innokentiy Vaskaryev transfer you pulled off. And, now, even after you've long since left the club, they're still surviving. And, speaking as someone who actually still plays in the Federation, unlike my "friend" Fušia over here, I can attest that playing Urnabhi, even in the years after you left, is a task, like, in and of itself.

Brutušam: Urnabhi is a great football club, with great supporters and great players. All I had to do was keep the finances straight. Everybody else has done the rest.

Fušia: But that's not all you've done in your career. You were so successful at Urnabhi that FKM, probably the most powerful club in Kagdazka, jumped to hire you.

Brutušam: FKM is a fantastic club. I don't think outsiders are aware from just hearing about the team on the news how much the Orange and Silver mean to the community of the CMZ. FKM really are more than a club out there. They're an outreach center for battered women, they're a K-12 educational system for children from poor families, they even coordinate with local political organizers to assist the campaigns of political candidates they support.

Fušia: Right, some would say that stuff is improper for a club to get involved in, but whatever. Cool. 'More Than a Club.' Hooray.

Peregrina: Stop being, like, cynical and stuff, Fušia. I always liked FKM. Besides, no matter what you think of, like, the club's, like, politics, and stuff, they definitely got better once Mr. Erassi took over. What do you have to say about last season?

Brutušam: Well, I think we all knew that we had a great team at FKM at the start of last year. Those of us involved in the inner workings of the club, that is. But I think some in the media were surprised by FKM's fifth-place finish in the league, and in our run to the final of the Vahavi. I don't know why they were surprised. I mean, we had that great strike triad of Olec Dasra of Swartaz, Jackson Diawara of Cotdelapoms, and Kagdazka's own Oleg Rostov. Again, the players really did my work for me.

Fušia: Well, that's all the time we have today (thank God), so join us next week on Grilled Brie for 3 when we'll have the wondrously skilled striker and Polar Islandstates international Timo Skye on the show.

Peregrina: Bye, everyone!

by **The Kiaser Colonies** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:18 pm

Time was running out for both sides, it was the 91st minute, the score was 1-1. All Ryan Kelly and the other players had to do was stop Landau Institute from scoring a goal and they would have earned a very deserving point. He was brought on at half time for Andrew Gray as, since they were 1-0 behind, he was the more attacking defender. It was Kelly's New Leeds City team mate Ricky Lamont who scored the goal to level the match in front of the 250,000 onlooking fans in The Royd (Highroyds City Stadium nickname). This was revenge enough he thought for the horrible loss he heard about in the Doctors Pub last time where Daniel Beale was rugby tackled out of the way for the winning goal.

Suddenly Greg Jackson fell over and Victor Brahah had the ball for Landau Institute. Hakebo Sanuli went to ground to tackle, Brahah stopped then went again. Philip Dorian stepped in front of him, he passed to Alessandra Ayenez. Adam Jones tried a dangerous sliding hook from behind but Ayenez stepped the other way. Kelly was the last man between Ayenez and Beale. He stuck out his leg and poked the ball away but Ayenez continued his run and knocked him over. The ball was in open play. Jerry Wallaby and Adam Jones were running towards the ball, as was Victor Brahah. Wallaby dived at it but Brahah first to it. Alessandra Ayenez was only just getting off him now and Brahah was clean through. Beale stood his ground. Kelly watched as he went into the box. He shot. Kelly watched it travel through the air. It was going for the far post on Beale's left side. Beale dived across and stretched out his arm. His fingers grazed the ball but it continued on, it course barely altered. It was beyond them now. It was up to the post now. Kelly watched from the grass where he lay, still getting up as the ball pinged off the post and over the goal line. Kelly swore, Brahah celebrated, the fans groaned (mostly), the team held their heads in their hands. Kelly knew that it would be impossible to score in the next 35 seconds but even so he ran to the ball and kicked it to halfway. They team quickly reassembled and kicked off. Kelly and all the other defenders ran up to help. He watched as they tried to find a way past the landau defence but then came the horrible blast of the whistle and the groan of the fans. Time was up. They had lost to the old enemy again. The team dragged themselves off to the dressing rooms. Kelly knew he should have done better to stop them. If he was going to get another game he would be lucky.
11- Victor Brahah
10- Alessandra Ayenez

by **Bostopia** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:36 pm

This Is What We Do

A Tactical Analysis Of The Bostopian Football Team

By John Knighton

Danny Walker is a man who knows a good thing when he sees it – and what he saw was Bostopia's tactics under previous manager Jake Bailey, taking them to 16 wins in the last World Cup qualifying. If Danny's thought good things shouldn't come to an end, then he is right in line with the fans, the team's quick, attacking play is exactly what they want to see.

Attack, attack, attack attack attack

Part 1 - The Team

The Bostopian team are set out in a 2-3-2-1-2, or more of a 5-3-2 for those who prefer to split it down more traditionally. Of course, the merging of the different areas (defence, midfield, forwards) whenever the team goes forwards – or backwards – renders the formation they line up in at kickoff about the only time you'll ever see it clearly. Two central defenders, with a central defensive midfielder upfield from them, on the same line as two wingbacks. Two central midfielders support both the defence and the attack, with an attacking central midfielder then the two strikers, one playing a support role, creating more goals than he scores.

The short passing game has been developed with the players since they were first tagged by scouts as the next national side at 13, their positioning and movement now second nature when on the pitch.

When attacking, the team are allowed to stray from their more traditionally designated positions, aiding out in what Danny says is the single-most important nature of Bostopia's game – getting the ball toward the opposition goal and ultimately in the back of the net.

It's all about creating chances and having people there to finish them, which is why you'll see the attacking central midfielder push forward, and the wingbacks push forward whenever possible. At least one of the central midfielders also lurk outside the box, ready to quickly play the ball in to one of the strikers, or, where possible, strike the ball toward goal himself. Of course, this mentality and positioning does leave the team open to counter-attacks, but there's generally at least the two centre-halfs there along with the defensive midfielder tracking back in these occurances, assuming the wingbacks were up the field.

Defensively, the team plays a high-pressure game, quickly closing down the opponents, not being afraid to go in hard, playing almost like a Sunday-morning side, doing whatever's necessary to not concede, evidenced by Bostopia's run of four games without conceding in qualifying for WC55. While this can lead to injuries, this style of putting your body on the line, winning at all costs, is deeply engrained in the Bostopian psyche and not only on the football pitch.

by **Al-Mumtaz** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 4:24 pm

Phoenix News

We Tell You What You Need to Know

Good Start for the Holy Phoenix
Al-Mumtaz 2 - 0 Oakow and Norkyrin
S : Stephen Mankind
F : Fauzan Kamil

S : Hello, sir. How are you today?
F : It's a good day definitely. We got a win.
S : It's against Oakow and Norkyin, an Unranked team , and definitely a bad team, even we don't know anyone of their player. Are you satisfied with the result?
F : We played out there, and we win. That's the most important thing. We play well, and we got a result.
S : Yeah, maybe you're right. With 80% ball possesion, you've a reason to be satisfied. And so, can you tell me about the strength of your squad?
F : Overall, they're doing good. From the goalkeeper, Mark Hamsik, He's still the best out there, and with player like Phelim, Mahmud and Zayd at the defense, that's was the strong wall. and then, at the midfield, The Left Midfielder, Hideyoshi Kazuo, his run and cross was incredible, i never saw any player like him before, and he was developed since the last time i called him for the World Cup 55 Squad. The Strong Mani Skullmage and Uriel Olaf was stationed at the center, they're a good pair and they're playing their best at the previous match. And the captain, the Best Free-kicker at this generation and the second best at the history (after me), his freekicks is similiar to mine. And finally, our Assist-Forward, Catahecassa and our goal-machine Ismet Hugo, he was the best of the best. And that's all
S : Wow, Amazing. I'm sure we will qualified to the World Cup Proper, how about you, are you sure to qualified for this edition of WC?
F : I'm Sure, definitely.
S : Ok, let's wait for it. Then, can you tell us about the match against Oakow and Norkyin?
F : There's nothing much to tell, they even can't penetrated our penalty box. And two-goal at 12' and 89' from Ismet Hugo gave us a win.
S : Ok. Thanks for your time. We hope you can take our national team to the world cup proper for the second time.
F : Yeah.
S : Ok, Before this session is ended, let's see a short-video.
Video of Al-Mumtaz against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega at WC 55 Qualifying and They shout
LET THE HOLY PHOENIX FLY AS HIGH AS HE CAN!!!!!!!!!

Next Match against Camerania... Wait for it. Stay Tuned at Al-Mumtaz TV.

by **Bergnovinaia** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 4:51 pm

July 21st, 2011
World Cup 56 Preview and Matchday 1

Article by Cody Canchola of BSRN and Affiliates

The smell is in the air, and that smell is soccer, or futbol, as we say here in Bergnovinaia. Specifically, the 56th edition of the World Cup.

Now, Bergnovinaia has only competed at a few international futboling competions before and has some decent sucess stories, such as a 4th place finish in the Baptism of Fire they competed in the first edition they sent a team to the World Cup. Mostly attributed to this finish and some decent success in the group stages at the World Cup, the team has come to be ranked at 79th in the world... not too shabby for a team that's only been at a few international competitions, eh?

Well, some people don't think so... namely, the coaches, the players, and some purely rediculous fans. Being just an average team with mediocre ambition is not enough. These people have one of the most bizarre ideas, thinking that this might just be the year for Bergnovinaia not only to qualify for the World Cup elimination stages, but take the whole thing.

Nuts... yep. That's what everyone here at BSRN is thinking, and everyone with a brain too, especially following the group draw which placed Bergnovinaia amogst some fierce competition. The odds of Bergnovinaia taking the whole qualifying, much less taking the whole thing, are about the same as me getting hit by lightening while playing golf at the Sand Dunes Resort 200 km Northwest of Horuk... a place that sees, on average, three storms a year.

However, this idea stems out of Bergnovinaia's victories (and draw) in the pre-qual friendlies they arranged this WC, and if one were purely to look at these results (and not solid, concrete statistics), they may gather the same idea.

Pre Qualifying Friendlies

Bergnovinaia 4 - 1 The Kangaroo Republic

This was simply one of the greatest matches ever played by any Bergnovinaian futboling team, smashing the Kangaroo Republic 4-1, mostly thanks to a hat-trick provided by Bergnovinaian Forward, Andrew Roberts. Roberts scored 2 goals early in the first 20 minutes of the first half, and completed the hat-trick with a third, and then final goal, in the 85th minute. Midfielder, Joshua Kilon, scored a goal off of a free kick 3 meters outside of the box in the 56th minute.

Bergnovinaia 0 - 0 Valanora

There wasn't a heck of a lot to see in this pre-qaulifying match against the team from Valanora. Many would think that Bergnovinaia would have been smashed in a futboling competition against these previous WC champions and #2 ranked team as of WC 54, but no. This match shows some of Bergnovinaia's great potential, as drawing with such a large competitor is, indeed, a great achievement.

Bergnovinaia 2 - 0 Darmen

Not too shabby... that's what most Bergnovinaian fans were thinking as the took on fellow 70th tier ranked team, Darmen. It wasn't too interesting of a match to watch though. There were only three shots on goal in the entire match, and two of those were the scoring goals from Bergnovinaia's end. A lot of trading the ball back and forth midfield. There was no doubt that all of the Bergnovinaian players were incredibly exhausted.

Group Stage Play off to Fairly Decent Start for Bergnovinaia

Bergnovinaia has some tough competition amongst their competitors in group 2, and this was easily exemplified in matchday one, as Bergnovinaia took on Starblaydia at an away match. Despite what many people thought would happen (a blowout to the numer 12 ranked team) the team actually faired well, only losing by a single goal 2-1. All in all, it was a clean match--not a single card left the referees pocket. This match was just a clear display that Bergnovinaia will have a tough time performing if pushed to a higer level than shown before.

***EDIT: Blatant Error on my part. Valanor=Valladres. I definately did not play Valanora. lol***

by **Mangolana** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:15 pm

Mangolana Gazzette
Desperation turns into Exileration for Mangolana

Mangolana has opened up there World Cup 56 qualifing campaign with a result that may come to as a shock to all those who turned off the game before its conclusion, for in the 89th minute a corner was awarded to Mangolana. The corner, which was taken by Mangolana midfielder Allen Fuller. As the cross flew in, a Meguroko defender was able to head the ball out of the box, but right towards John McFadden's feat. He was able to fire a shot off from 32 yards out, which, deflected off of Akeem Howard, a Sub for Mangolana in the 79th minute. This was his first ever international goal as a National team starter. But he did have 19 goals at the U-21 level and 38 goals at the U-18 level. It seams that with many of the starters though currently in there mid 20's, it may be a while before we ever see him start a game at the International level.

But now as either way, a win is a win is a win is a win.So now for the first time since WC 54 qualifing, Mangolana has more wins than draws and losses. With such an up and coming team, Mangolana can count on giving this World Cup a run, or at least the Playoff spot. With Delaclava and other top teams in the group, many fans are thinking that Mangolana can make a run at the Play-off qualifing round as a result of a second place group finish. As many fans say that Delaclava will run away with the group title. But with that first win, Mangolana is now in the top four teams in the group, and hopefully if Mangolana can get a second win in there next game against Alexanderburn, tonight on the Mangolana Sports Network. (MSN)

by **Bazalonia** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:16 pm

Pre-WC Audio RP:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/Xv36H99n/W ... _RP_1.html

by **Taeshan** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:38 pm

X Island Inquirer

Knights Open With Draw in Coliseum

It has been said in the sport of football that you should win your home matches, and do your bloody best to not lose your away ones. The Purple Knights opened up the World Cup 56 qualifying campaign last night at home, and though they did not win it was not do to their lack of trying. The Knights opened up against World 42nd rank Pays de Horreur, and with their foes the number 2 seed overall in their group it was only natural that the game would be played in the Atlantea Coliseum. The two opponents ended up playing in front of only 400,000 fans as much of the fifth deck was still under reconstruction after a structurial problem was found late in last season that needed to be fixed. The level is expected to be ready for the coming visits of the Holy Empire and Bettian National teams.

The Knights on opening day proved to be much better then they had seemed in their two pre-season friendlies. They even managed to score a goal. With the managerial change to A.F. Falcon only a season ago and with the less defensive nature of recent Taeshani sports teams the Knights showed that you can defend and not lose all of your attacking abilities. The Knights were the first to draw blood in this match with a curling 20 yard free kick by midfielder Cotton LaPaige in the 33rd minute. The lone goal though forced the Horreur team into attack in the second half and the Knights defense proved to not have the full ability to defend the goal as Filip Samuel was beaten by a header in the 55th minute. Both teams strived to score a second from then on, but nobody proved to be able to muster a breakthrough and each team was left with a point. A tie, as close as you can get to losing yet still manage to get a point.

by **Pretty Awesome Persons** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:47 pm

THE MANY FACES OF TSILEVICH AND CO.
A sports show

Well, we've some catching up to do...
Well let's start with the latest match, our first match up in this World Cup qualifiers, a home fixture against Italian Mafias.
We start out the qualifiers in a good fashion, defeating Italian Mafias 3-0 in our home opener. You could say this was a pretty weak performance against a team ranked 354th.
But considering the strength of the attack that PAP put forward it's acceptable. We had the young Alberto Fierro up front who put in a lot effort in his last few matches, already scoring 6 times in the last 3 matches.
The scoring opened in the 33rd minute, with Hugo Mendoza sending in an inch perfect cross into the box, which the young Fierro headed swiftly into the net for the first goal of the match.
PAP went into halftime with a small one goal lead, much to the disappointment of the home crowd of 109,715, with about 100,735 being PAP supporters.
PAP went out hopefully looking to multiply their lead. Italian Mafias put on a highly defensive second half, causing PAP to lose possession and fail to create any chances. By the 75th minute, thousands of fans had left the stadium, bored of the defensive style of play Italian Mafias decided to play. Finally, Taylor managed to lob a ball to Alex Tullotrilli, who was barely onside, who proceeded to outrun his marker and send a wide open Mendoza a beautiful cross who controlled it with his left foot and finished with his right.
Mendoza finished off his brace in the 88th minute, after an awesome Figo through ball put Mendoza through on goal with only the keeper to beat. He easily dribbled past keeper and shot into an empty net, to finish off the game a good, clean 3-0 result.
In the post match press conference, we were introduced to the charismatic Tsilevich and the side show Valdez we were accustomed to.

....
R: So Tsilevich, are you secure with your roster choices this qualification cycle?
T: Yeah, why wouldn't I? I chose talented, young, professional players who are able to replace the exiting veterans. We've just seen what Fierro is capable of, and with the right leadership and coaching, he'll replace Gonzalez in no time.
R: What will you do if Rafa gets injured?
T: What makes you think he'll injure himself? He's perfectly fit and able to do the job. Don't let his age make you doubt his ability. In the case he does injure himself, we have two perfectly able defenders who'll be able to replace him in no time.
R: Valdez, what do you think about this offensive pair up in comparison to the one who won the Cup of Harmony?
V: Well, um, this offensive pair up is--
T: Look. Our team is perfectly fine the way it is. We have young players. Gonzalez and Zizi are in the roster because you whiny reporters wouldn't stop making me seem bad in the media. C'mon! No one fields 35 year olds if you want to qualify for the World Cup! I could've easily replaced them with younger strikers. But no! You guys aren't satisfied. YES! I know they're legends, so let them retire as legends. Don't let them retire as benchwarmers! Let them retire as champions, ffs.
V: *stares at Tsilevich*
R: No more questions?
T: What do you think? C'mon Valdez let's roll.
V: Bye guys, I guess...

Glad your back, Tsilevich.

And now, let's talk about the two pre-qualification friendlies we played against Michael VII and Darmen. PAP flexed its offensive muscle against these two opponents, defeating them 5-0 and 4-0 respectively, with Fierro scoring his first hattrick with the senior team.
Against Michael VII, there were a flurry of goals and pretty diverse scorers. In front of a huge crowd of over 100,000 spectators, PAP absolutely dominated the game, with Fierro, Martin and Zepeda all scoring.
Fierro opened up to scoring in the 23rd minute, dazzling the crowd and the home goalkeeper with a shot from outside the box, and PAP took the lead. The whole crowd went wild over this goal, applauding the young Fierro for his efforts, despite his age.
Before half time, PAP doubled their lead, this time with a wonderful strike by Javier , allowing PAP to lead 2-0 by half time. By this time, all the home crowd could do is hope their team could maybe pull back a goal, but Michael VII couldn't even get a hold of the ball long enough to build up an attack.
Alas, in the 47th minute, Fierro scored his second goal and PAP's third, crushing Michael VII's hopes of a tie. Again in the 54th minute, Fierro scored his third and PAP's fourth to pretty much end the match for PAP's favor. Taylor had become one of the more influential players on the pitch, delivering perfect crosses in the box allowing Fierro to score twice.
Then, in the 86th minute, in a move that many commentators saw as unnecessary, Michael VII sent in all of their player to possibly score a consolation goal. Unfortunately, the PAP defense stole possession, launching a great counter attack led by Martin, allowing Martin to score his first goal and the fifth for PAP.

Against Darmen, a team that put in more of a fight, PAP only managed to score 4 times. Fierro scored a brace, along with Mendoza. PAP dominated all aspects of the game, just as they did against Michael VII. PAP tore apart their defense while dominating the midfield and keeping their defense strong and united.
Fierro scored in the 33rd and 77th minute, while Mendoza scoring in the 21st and 55th minute.

Group 10
North Chicanan (69)
Pretty Awesome Persons (28)
Oiseaui (UR)
Hockey Canada (112)
Carpathia and Ruthenia (145)
Florinthus (293)
Itailian Maifias (354)
Cosumar (21)

MD1- vs Italian Mafias (W 3-0)
MD2 - @ Carpathia and Ruthenia
MD3 - vs Oiseaui
MD4 - vs Cosumar
MD5 - @ Florinthus
MD6 - vs Hockey Canada
MD7 - @ North Chicanan
MD8 - @ Italian Mafias
MD9 - vs Carpathia and Ruthenia
MD10 - @ Oiseaui
MD11 - @ Cosumar
MD12 - vs Florinthus
MD13 - @ Hockey Canada
MD14- vs North Chicanan

by **Chetkosk** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:01 pm

Even before the other three members of his sub-team joined him on the bottom of the elevator shaft, Danil knew they were in trouble. The zombie corpses he had landed on were moving. Just twitching for now, but moving none the less. With three soft, squelching thuds, the other three soldiers landed around him.
"What the..."
"What is this?"
"Guys, step to the edges, do it now, tread carefully."
"...ohhh man, ohh shit..."
The added weight and movement made the creatures stir all the more, and one or two began groaning slightly. The horrid double-tone sound began to get louder and louder as limbs began to bend and flex.
"Get the door open, now!" The MIGU personnel hurried into action, partly because of the orders of their commanding officer and partly because of the fear induced by being so close to so many of the undead in a small and dark space. With a crowbar and their fingers the three of them pulled and tugged at the solid metal doors as Danil pushed away the bodies with his foot. The zombies began to rise from the floor, still vacant and not agressive, but nevertheless Danil began beating them back with the stock of his rifle.

"Do it faster if you don't want it to be the last thing you do..." Danil shouted above the increasing volume of sound emanating from the zombies, horrific wailing as they began to become aware of the living humans within their midst.
With a screech the doors were slowly prised open until Grevney wedged them open with the crowbar.
"Up! Climb up and through now!" Danil, with his back to the wall that his team were vaulting up to the open door, began firing short two round bursts into the bodies, knocking them to the floor and silencing a few. The sound of the gunfire was deafening in the enclosed space, but he was used to it.
"Sir!"
"Prep a frag!"
"But..."
"DO IT!" Danil swung his rifle round in an arc, emptying the rest of the magazine in the process. Spinning on the spot he pulled himself up to the gap in the doors as one of the soldiers pulled the pin on a grenade. As soon as he was clear, Danil kicked the crowbar from the gap just as the grenade was lobbed into the dark space beyond. A muffled bang, smoke drifted through the crack in the doors, the wailing stopped. For a second at least. The four men could hear more screams of the undead from the three corridoors that lead away from the elevator shaft they had just escaped.
"Let's rendez-vous with Lieutenant Yemelin."

*****

Valeri carefully stepped over a crippled and bloodied torso, long ago riddled with bullets and somehow detached from the legs that once accompanied it. The torchlight landed briefly on the head, and the blank, cloudy eyes reflected back at him; they briefly made his heart skip a beat as memories of the bright, glowing eyes of the creatures several years ago came back to him.
Behind him three other men picked their way down the stairs, peering through the dark for areas of concrete not covered by the undead bodies littering the stair well.
"This one just moved, I swear it."
"It's the torchlight. Come on, just two more floors."
A small groan escaped from the mouth of one of the previous zombie victims propped against the wall next to Valeri.
"Oh man, I had hoped we'd get further before this happened."
"Sir?"
"Run. Don't worry about stepping on them, just get down the stairs."
The solo zombie was joined by a few more, and then a whole choir as more echoed down the stair well. Limbs began to twitch as Valeri skipped down the steps, sliding slightly on the shifting bodies beneath his boots. In the distance he could swear he could hear gunfire.
"Ahh, sir?"
"RUN for fuck's sake!"
He turned another corner and jumped the last few steps to the floor, opening the doors out to the corridoor beyond and holding it open for his team. Louder now, he heard more gunfire, full auto instead of bursts - and then a loud bang, a grenade. As the last of his team hurried out of the stair well, Valeri fired some bursts of his own, sending bits of zombie flying with the hail of bullets. At least this had confirmed what MIGU had suspected. The creatures were indeed connected by some group consciousness - an undead collective - and this, The Bastille, was where it had begun. Perhaps here they would find a way to cut the links joining the zombies. And if they didn't, well, there would be eight more men joining their ranks.
"Come on, we need to rendez-vous with Captain Ludovichia"

------------------------------------------------------------

PUFFINS ULTIMATELY OUTPERFORMED IN OPENING MATCH

The giant machine of the World Cup Qualifiers has purred into life, and in their first World Cup appearence Chetkosk lose to high seeded Tretskivucia in a thrilling game in Kemenovsk. The city played host to over 85,000 fans yesterday in the opening game of the tournament and, despite the stunning performance of the Puffins, Chetkosk were defeated by one goal to nothing. In a statement following the game manager Yevgeni Byshovetsiy told the Herald "I'm very happy with our performance tonight. Let's face it, these guys are good, really good, and we've done well to limit them to a one goal victory. The team were excellent, some of the best football I've seen them play, the opposing players were just too good - a league above us at this time. Then again, we've got to play them again, and we'll see how we cope then before I write us off completely." Byshovetsiy later released the starting line-up for the upcoming match against Coffee Cakes, which remains unchanged from yesterday's game.

Play began with a sizzling hot strike from Vyacheslav Torbinskiy, showing the world what he is capable of following his transfer to a club in Kagdazka & Pazhujebu. The Tretskivucian keeper was up to the challenge, however, and made a superb dive to knock the ball away from the top corner. This attack was immediately reciprocated by Tretskivucia who swept away the strong Chetkoski midfield and almost scored in the fourth minute were it not for Scherbak's stunning dive in front of the shot, knocking the ball out for a corner. Both nations earned themselves more than twenty corners each in yesterday's game, evidence of the strength of each team's attacks, and the lengths both goalkeepers and defenders had to go to to avoid conceeding.

The dream couldn't last forever, however, and in the 39th minute a perfectly placed corner kick allowed a Tretskivucian striker to volley the ball powerfully, Scherbak didn't stand a chance. Despite the effort put into the first half the game didn't lose pace after the break, and Chetkosk pushed for an equaliser. Both sides were lucky not to conceed in the second half and the Puffins were eventually defeated by a team with greater skill. In Chetkosk's next match we play against Coffee Cakes - a nation residing within Chetkosk's region, and a nation who have yet to beat Chetkosk in a sports competition. The Puffins are sure to push them to the limits if they bring last night's performance to Coffee Cakes.

PRE-QUALIFIER FRIENDLIES REVEAL AVERAGE RESULTS

Chetkosk came out of their run of pre-qualifier friendlies with a win, a draw and a loss. The Puffins beat fellow Baptism of Fire 43 alumni Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk by one goal to nil in a performance that could have easily ended much worse for Chetkosk, Borodiuk's free kick being the only highlight of the game. The second friendly against Polar Islandstates saw strong sides clash to produce a goal-less draw - Scherbak proved his worth following his transfer to a club in Cafundeú by halting several stunning strikes. The final friendly saw an excellent Astograth side defeat the Puffins 2-1, and brought Chetkosk's pre-qualifier friendly record to an average 1-1-1. Prior to the pre-qualifier friendlies Chetkosk faced their next World Cup opponents Coffee Cakes in a regional friendly, where the final score was 2-2. Tussak and Torbinskiy once again performed well together and both scored a goal each to bring the score level after being two goals behind at half time.

Yevgeni Byshovetsiy has released the starting line-up for tonight's match against long time rivals Coffee Cakes, which remains unchanged from the game against Tretskivucia. However, pundits suspect that Yevgeni may switch to a 4-3-3 formation later in the game, a formation that Chetkosk has not used in the past and it will be interesting to see how it plays out. Young striker Tomislav Puzin is rumoured to be getting a bit more time on the field of play than in previous games, and perhaps Yevgeni will be switching from 4-2-3-1 to 4-3-3 via a standard 4-4-2 with a Torbinskiy/Puzin team up front. Only time will tell if Byshovetsiy's meddling will produce results, or if it will be the Puffins' downfall.

by **Polar Islandstates** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:16 pm

Henriksen clenched the arms of his chair tightly. Very tightly. The take off had been bad enough but now he was having to endure turbulence like he never had done before. He sat back and tried to relax.

'Come on, Finn, just relax, man. It'll all be over soon. Back in Torshavn.'

Sweating slightly, he glanced at his fellow passengers. It was a small seaplane, chartered for the occasion by the FPIFA, but a Kuril businessman had bought his way on and was currently sat in the front seat with Magnus Ragnorak. From the sounds coming from the front row, occasional clicking and pen scratching interspersed with snoring, it sounded rather like the businessman was trying to do some whilst being slept on. But at least they were both dealing with the disruption okay. Looking to his left, he saw Tomas Aer, not even slightly disturbed by the turbulence as he played on his portable games console, the constant beeping and whirring signalling his progress through the levels.

Behind him, Henriksen could hear the two Astograth players muttering to each other in dulcet, foreign tones. He had attempted to get to know them after the ceremony in Urri but the language barrier had got in the way slightly. Even so, right now Henriksen would have given anything to be bale to talk to somebody else who was sharing his reservations. Another batch of turbulence hit the small plane, and Henriksen swore under his breath. He glanced out of the window beyond Aer, it was black as sin out there. There was a crackle and a hiss as the pilot's intercom kicked into action.

"Right folks, erm, as you may be able to tell, we've got some turbulence issues up here today. Um the reason for that is just to the port side of the plane, erm, there's a hell of a storm kicking up to the north of us here, to the west of Matahiko. Erm, we're taking a diversionary route to the south of our planned route but we shouldn't have too much of a time delay on our planned arrival in Torshavn. Um, so yeah, just try and sit back, and Johannes and I will try and get us around this weather system."

Looking from side to side, Henriksen wasn't even sure if his fellow passengers had even heard that announcement. Were they even bothered? Was Henriksen alone here? Did nobody else care that the plan was basically being shaken to pieces? Henriksen began breathing heavier and heavier. This was no good. This was no good at all.

"Tomas, Tomas are you okay? Are you feeling this?" Henriksen turned and grabbed Aer's shoulder.

"What? Hey, yeah, let go of me will you? Yeah man, storm, diversion, level up, turbulence, whatever. Let go of me man." Aer tried to shrug him off and didn't move his gaze off the game he was playing.

"Tomas, Tomas, that beeping is getting annoying. Please, just, just, I need to think here, okay?" Henriksen's tone of voice got higher with each hit of turbulence. "Tomas!"

Without glancing up from his game, Aer continued playing, simply muting the game and carrying on. All of a sudden, it was the sound effects getting on Henriksen's nerves. The tapping. The constant tip tap of Aer's fingers on the console. The rustle of the businessman's pen on his work from the row in front. The slow and monotonous rumble of the half-whispered words he couldn't even understand from the row behind him. Henriksen's world was spinning.

More turbulence hit the plane, and one of the prop engines let out a whirr and a whining noise. The pilot's intercom crackled into life once more.

"Okay guys, we're hitting some more patches of heavy air here and the plane is going to get a little rocky, erm, we may have to drop altitude in a little while to avoid the worst of it but its coming over pretty swiftly at the moment. So, I'm going to erm, hit the seatbelt alert up and erm, if you could all just stay calm and click yourselves in then that would be great. Thanks guys."

"What? What, what, what?" Henriksen fumbled for his seatbelt, missing twice before it finally gave way and clunked into place. He looked around. Everyone else had done so calmly. Why was he the only one panicking here? Why was nobody else fretting? Was he the only one-

His next panic was interrupted by yet another shake of the aircraft. The whole world jumped up and down. The pilot's intercom cracked and wheezed, but nothing happened. The plane shook violently. The other engine started to wheeze as well.

Aer looked up.

"Hey man, did you feel that?"

* * * * * * *

Call me Ishamel.

Wow. Wow it's hot here. Hot, sticky, and horribly wet.

And, I don't know whether the plan was to give us a difficult playing environment to ensure we played badly but, my word, the Terns have been incredible. Just, from start to finish they've been solid, uncompromising, and unyielding.

Setting up for a counter-attacking game that would deal with the more attacking instincts of the current K+P set up, wave after wave of their three-pronged attack was held out by Karlsson and his defence, and wow am I going to miss these guys when they start retiring in the near future.

Oh, and the goals? Well, they weren't ones for the highlights reel, lets say. All the same, who knew Ackermann-Finn had such a turn of pace on him? Accelerating away for that long ball over the top, and an accurately placed finish as well. And then for Marek to rise for that corner to head in, well we were on crowd nine. I think I caught a cold I got so wet from all the flying around. Now there's an ironic thought, catching a cold in a place this warm and sticky.

Hm. Note to self. Can birds catch colds?

Anyway, the Twitchers in the crowd have been going mental, who needs an Ostkurven when you can create a noise like that in a stadium like this? It is a pretty spectacular place to play football in, all the better when you're winning as well.

Seconds left, here they come again. Oujadda comes deep, collects the ball from Yakoko, lays it off out the wing. Razava takes over, easily wrong-foots the tired looking Bielsen, take the initiative, bombs down the wing, up against Pekarik and even Pekarik can't undo this attack, even knowing their tricks! Out in the corner, whips in the ball, and Marek is there! Heads it away! Ruffle your feathers, Ishmael, time to- wait, Zbruyev is there, traps it, plays it through to Omelchenko... Saved! Good save Karlsson! The man's been on fire all night. Man of the match performance for sure. He clutches the ball to his chest, even fewer seconds left, the referee looks at the time, come on, come on! Yeah!

"SWAARRRKKK!"

Aw man, that's a great victory! Away to Kagdazka and Pazhujebu on the first matchday and the Terns seal a win. I'm so chuffed with that I might even go around for another flight! Another flight to seal the victory and celebrate the excellent start with all of our fans, who traipsed through this weather to support their team through thick and thin. Wait, this weather. That's a good point.

Yeah.

On second thoughts, I'm celebrating inside.

See you next time, when I'll be talking to you from the Nasjonale Stadion again, as we face the monks of The Archregimancy. Guessing we'll be seeing the same formation again from Sol. Why set up defensively in front of the home fans it it ain't broke? See you next time guys. Well done and commiserations to Kagdazka and Pazhujebu, they just found Karlsson on one of those incredible in-form days. Hard luck, guys.

* * * * * * *

Starting line-up for next match against: The Archregimancy
----------------- Karlsson -----------------
- Nikkel --- Berg -- Marek --- Pekarik -
------ Bielsen -- Hauge -- Hansen ------
-------------- van Jendrisen -------------
--------Skye -- Ackermann-Finn -------

by **Utmost Upright** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:32 pm

The off camera director held up his fingers as he counted down, “3…2…1…and we’re on!”

“Welcome to Peisandros, where the boys of Utmost Upright take on unranked Peisandros in their World Cup debut to open the 56th World Cup. My name is Reverend William wishing you a blessed good evening. Besides me is my co-host, Friar Edward. What do you expect from the 56th World Cup, Edward?”

“Early on there will be a lot of ugly scores as the newer teams endure suffering at the hands of the veterans. Eventually, the veterans will slug it out amongst themselves. If forced to pick, I would say that the favorites to win the tournament are earlier the blessed believing nations of The Archregimancy or The Holy Empire.”

“Being that they’re both top 10 in the world sides, I would say those are very solid picks. And since Friar Woodward didn’t make them, maybe we can give them some credibility. What do you expect from our boys?”

“As a newer nation, we will have to endure a lot of suffering this go round. However, we may be deceptively strong considering our early schedule which consists of the three teams ranked below us, which may have us up with Group 9 favorites Bears Armed for the early group lead. In the end, we’ll probably finish in the 5th spot in Group 9, just like we’d finish based on the rankings.”

“I agree, Edward. We may be the early surprise if the veterans don’t realize how soft our early schedule is. And here comes our boys from Utmost Upright on to the pitch for their World Cup debut!”

“From the looks on their faces, William, I’d say that the boys from Utmost Upright don’t appear intimidated at all in their first appearance on the World Cup stage. If anything, it’s the heathens from Peisandros who look a bit nervous, even though they have the home pitch advantage tonight.”

“And it looks like Utmost Upright is going to kick-off…And the 56th World Cup is underway…”

[7th Minute]

“And Utmost Upright continues to dominate play, here early on…Friar Timothy has it…he plays it into the middle where Captain Cardinal Paul takes control…the Captain lobs it over the top…Father Martin is running on to it…He only has the keeper to beat…Hallelujah! Father Martin has given Utmost Upright the early 1-0 lead on the road. A beautiful goal for Utmost Upright here early on. That should give the boys some confidence, Edward.”

“I agree, William. That was a big goal early for momentum purposes. Sure it wasn’t against a top-tier opponent, but to score in the first ten minutes of your first World Cup match is no small task. Well done!”

“And now it appears that the heathens from Peisandros are even more nervous than they were before the match started.”

“This World Cup will be full of suffering for Peisandros, I’m sure. Hopefully that will lead them to repentance.”

[24th Minute]

“215th ranked Utmost Upright is continuing to dominate here in unranked Peisandros…Reverend Philip with the ball on the wing…Here’s the cross into the box…That’s off the defender and out for the Utmost Upright corner…Father John collects the ball for the corner…He crosses it high towards the top of the box…There’s a scramble towards where the ball’s coming down…That’s off a head…Hallelujah! It looks like Friar Tuck got his head on that corner for the goal, giving Utmost Upright a 2-0 lead.”

“You might remember, William, that the combination of Father John to Friar tuck on a corner led to a blessed goal in the Baptism of Fire tournament as well.”

“Indeed it did. That time it was the final goal in a 3-0 triumph over the seductress heathens of Nicole Riche in the 89th minute.”

[27th Minute]

Father William looked around in confusion as the crowd started booing noisily. “If I could get some assistance from the cameramen, I’d like to see if we can figure out why the crowd is booing rather noisily…In the meantime, Utmost Upright is continuing to dominate.”

“I believe I know what they’re booing at, William. Take a look towards the Utmost Upright net.”

“That looks like a church pew…And is that? Yes, it is. Brother Francis is taking a nap in a church pew on the pitch in the middle of a World Cup match! He must have one of Pope Peter’s sermon’s playing in his ears. Forgive me Pope Peter if you’re watching this broadcast.”

“The referee appears to be oblivious to Brother Francis’ antics as he continues to follow the Utmost Upright attack.”

“Cardinal James now has the ball at the top of the box…How did he get the ball?...And there’s a shot…Well up into the crowd. That may have landed in Row Z with how high over the net Cardinal James hit that.”

[32nd Minute]

“And there’s a whistle bringing play to a halt…I didn’t see any foul on that Utmost Upright attack…The referee is jogging all the way to the other end of the pitch where Brother Francis is still napping in his church pew…The referee shakes Brother Francis’ shoulder to wake him up…And then produces a yellow card…That’s Utmost Upright’s first card in international competition and it’s handed out for keeper antics instead of unsportsmanlike play.”

“That’s some rather inattentive officiating by the referee. Brother Francis had been napping in that church pew for a full five minutes before the referee realized what was going on. And the church pew has now been removed from the pitch by Utmost Upright Assistant Coach Cardinal Andrew and taken into the locker room.

[39th Minute]

Friar Edward yawned as Father William continued his play-by-play call. “And here’s yet another Utmost Upright attack…Father John crosses it from near the touchline…He finds Brother Matthew…Brother Matthew with the low pass into the box…That finds Father Martin, who already has a goal tonight…Here’s a shot…Hallelujah! Father Martin bangs home his second goal of the night off the inside of the post and it’s now 3-0 Utmost Upright and we aren’t even to halftime.”

“Remind me to find some coffee during halftime, William. But yes, that was a job well done by Father Martin. We’ll likely see Cardinal Moses use up his substitutions at halftime to avoid running the score up too badly on these poor, suffering heathens.”

“If he does that will be a great measure of sportsmanship you would hope the veteran nations will show us when they make us suffer, Edward.

[Halftime]

“And the teams head into the locker rooms at halftime with Utmost Upright leading 3-0. My esteemed colleague has gone to find some coffee, so I’ll go over some of the first half stats. Utmost Upright outshot Peisandros 17-0, with 9 of those being shots on goal. Brother Francis has the only card of the match for sleeping in a church pew on the pitch in the 32nd minute. Utmost Upright has absolutely dominated, with possession up in the vicinity of 72% of the time. Father Martin with two and Friar Tuck with one are the goal scorers. And my esteemed colleague, Friar Edward has found his coffee and rejoined us here in the booth. What do you make of the first half?”

“I don’t think Cardinal Moses foresaw being this dominant against an unranked team. Utmost Upright has been more dominant tonight than in any of their Baptism of Fire matches. I’m sure that he’ll want to rest some of their players for matches against the top teams in the group.”

“And word is coming from the Utmost Upright locker room that they are going to do just that, Edward.”

A graphic appears on the screen showing the changes to the Utmost Upright line-up for the second half:

On: Cardinal David—Off: Friar Tuck
On: Brother Thomas—Off: Cardinal Paul
On: Friar Belmore—Off: Father Martin

Friar Edward nodded thoughtfully. “Interesting decision there by Cardinal Moses, he stayed in the 4-5-1 formation and substituted out both of his goal scorers from the first half. However, Friar Belmore proved after he finally was given an opportunity in the Baptism of Fire tournament, that he’s no sluggard when it comes to putting the ball in the net.”

“That’s for sure, Edward. Friar Belmore was the first Utmost Upright player to score two goals in a single match with his two goal effort against San Havana. Is there any players that you’re surprised weren’t taken off?”

“Well William, if I’d have to pick one I’d have to say it’d be Brother Francis. Cardinal Moses burned all his substitutions at halftime, so he won’t be able to substitute in his back-up keeper, Reverend Michael, who replaced Pope Peter on the roster after the Baptism of Fire tournament, if Brother Francis does something that gets him sent off in the second half.”

[77th Minute]

“Utmost Upright has focused on controlling possession and their passing game here in the second half, not really advancing on the goal often…That being said here comes Utmost Upright on the attack…Cardinal David plays the ball up from the midfield circle…Brother Thomas chests it down and takes control…He plays it short towards the middle…And here’s Friar Belmore…He feints past the defender…And there’s a shot…Hallelujah! Friar Belmore coolly slots that one into the net to make it a dominant 4-0 Utmost Upright lead.”

“I have to commend Cardinal Moses’ strategy here. He essentially had the boys on the pitch turn this half into one big passing drill, which lulled the Peisandros defense to sleep, which let Friar Belmore slip through for a boost to our goal differential numbers. I don’t expect to see our boys from Utmost Upright try to push forward for another goal at this point unless they see a guaranteed goal opportunity.”

[Post Match]

“…Utmost Upright absolutely dominated possession today, with a possession nearing 80% against the unranked team from Peisandros. I’ve been checking the wires for other scores that may be of interest. Our believing bretheren both opened with unconvincing victories, The Holy Empire 3-0 over 347th ranked Cyborg Holland and The Archregimancy 3-1 over unranked Wolfmanne.”

“I was just handed a slip saying that our Baptism of Fire hosts Androssa Se Mitrin Vega dominated fellow Baptism of Fire participant Princess Béatrice Island 6-1. One can only hope their Manager, legendary player Mace, has quit dressing in drag…And those cheating heathen robots from Scrap Brain Zone got their just reward, though they must be continuing to use witchcraft or bribery to play above their abilities, as they lost to Jeruselem 0-1.”

“And in maybe the match that will bring the most rejoicing to the people of Utmost Upright, the blasphemous heathens of Chetkosk lost their World Cup debut 0-1 to Tretskivucia.”

“Praise God! Amen!”

Utmost Upright: 4
goal scorers: Father Martin (7th from Cardinal Paul, 39th from BrotherMatthew), Friar Tuck (24th from Father John), Friar Belmore (77th from Brother Thomas)
yellow card: Brother Francis (32nd)
clean sheet: Brother Francis

Peisandros: 0

by **Antoletia** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:40 pm

Albastru City Gazette

Fire Ants Realize Dream

At the beginning of the day i could feel a buzz in the air. I did not know what it was then, but now i do. I had nothing to do until late in the night so i sat around watching the Antoletian Premiership games, and playing on by Gamestation. Then i had to work, the National Team was hosting Lycrabon. I wondered then why i even had to go, in ten matches the Fire Ants were 0-2-8, and i saw no reason i had to report much more then we lost, but now i am happy i left my house. I got way more then i expected form just a few hours of work.

Remeber that buzz i was talking about, well it was all around well the stadium was abuzz, and a light as i drove up. A fire ant is many times seen as a nuisance, but all these fire ant fans were much like bees today. All in red and descending on Queen Kaitlyn Stadion. All 182, 941 seats would be filled today i could tell, their was something in the air. When the anthems were played you could tell the joy in the red clad fans all alight with Antoletian pride, and ready to cheer their players on through good times and bad.

Some Antoletian Red Clad Fans

A fire Ant bites and bites until it makes its victims tired and then swoops in for the kill. The Ants were much like that in their first game of the season. For all of the first half they played admirable defense and stuck to their slow forward progression in attack. Few chances were had though and only one from Constantín looked anywhere near going into the net, but they were slowly getting somewhere so maybe they wouldn't lose their opener, you never know right, and on this day i really didn't know.

The second half though started iwth a bang, a Lycrabon scorer was in on goal in the 47th minute and looked to score, but a great save from Paul Irwin and it was only a corner. And the ball is cleared by Manel Vasile to Constantín who finds Petr Antonescu streaking down the wing, Antonescu fires a cross which finds his twin Dragoș Antonescu in the box and he turns and shoots and the stadium erupts, the Ants are in the lead. 1-0, could this be real do they have a chance at victory.

Fans Cheering D. Antonescu's Goal

From then on it was a race would the whistle blow or would the Lycrabons dash the Ants hopes of achieving their first victory ever. The Manager tried to waste some time by making three subs, out came P. Antonescu for Octavian, Cezar Ardelean came in for Iosif Nicolescu to provide more attack, and the biggest sub would be the littlest guy on the field Răzvan Vãduva for Aramis Hopkins. The Ants didn't get much more attack in in the second half, but what little they did they used. Ardelean found Vãduva on a beautiful cross giving the Ants a 2-0 lead they would not relenquish.

And now i must say that i am a changed man. Sure in the next 13 matches the Ants may not come up with another singular victory, but on opening night they did and that is all that maters. They may never be one of the greatest teams in the world, but on this night for their fans they proved to be the greatest Antoletian team ever. They won and for a little while that counts, for a little while it makes the nation happy, and for a little while it provides the team with a spark, maybe not a lot, but even a little engine could, so why cant we?

by **Qazox** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:57 pm

Jai 15, 110.50 GYC (July 20, 13137 ACE); Location: Sector Alpha Romeo Charlie subsector 15:

Professor Rola T-ae Cie struggled against her bonds once again, knowing that this time would be a futile as the previous 500 or so times she'd tried over the past 5 micro-cycles or so. The IEC (Intergalatic Economic Council) guards wouldn't take to her, nor could she understand them without her translation implant, which was removed, quite painlessly to her suprise, for her inner ear canal minutes after being taken upon the IEC ship. As she struggled for the 501st time, the same though that had ran thru her head the previous 500 times came forth unbidden again.

'Why is an IEC ship doing in sector ARC-15?' Rola thought as she reviewed Section 56-w-2a of the USP-IEC Accords. According to the Accords, the USP and the IEC had agreed that this sector and the neighboring 3 sectors (ARC-14, ARC-16 and ARC-17) were to remain free of military vessels, and only archeologic recovery vessels or emergency response/rescue drones were permitted entry. But here was an IEC Valuth-Class destroyer outfitted with a sub-space masking shield. The only reason she could think of was she and her team might have found something of value to the IEC or that the IEC were just being ass-holes again.

"Vmvndb! Fgmma maku aef wnma wwoith." The guard said to here, in intelligible, to Rola at least, IEC talk.

"You know I can't understand you, given that you removed my TI, you freaking idiot." Rola replied.

"Vmvndb! Fgmma maku aef wnma wwoith." the guard said again, this time motioning with the plasma rifle in his hand.

"Fine, take me to your leader." Rola chuckled to herself, at the joke she'd made everytime the captain of this vessel had requested her presence. As she came out of her holding cell, she took a quick glance at the other 4 cells were her team was kept. Jeri F-ol Kae and Eric E-ma Tar were asleep in their cells, while Gary M-ac Fne stared daggers at the guards. 'Poor Gary, as security for the team, to be caught literally with his pants around his ankles must be eating him alive.' Rola thought as she was taken into the captain's room for the 3rd time today.

"Ah, Ms. T-ae Cie, good to you see again." The captain, in his fragmented USP standard said.

"Captain, what do you need me for again?" Rola replied.

"I know to want..I mean.. I. want. to. know. what. you. were. doing. on. ARC15III. And. do. not. lie. to. me. again." the Captain haltingly said, making sure his syntax was correct, but coming off as a youngling learning to read for the first time.

"Once again Captain whoever you are, we were only there to research some historical records that were left from the previous expedition there about 5 cycles ago. We'd just come across a historical anomaly when you and your goon squad took us prisioner. I don't know what the IEC thinks that they can get for a few research scientists, but the USP isn't going to take having their citizens kidnapped like this." Rola answered, with a bit of pleading in her voice.

The captain sat still after her words and waved his hand. The nearest 'goon' bumped Rola forward to take her back to the cells. Once safely back in her cell, the guard turned on the bio-restraint field and walked away.

"Rola! So what did the Captain do this time?" Eric said across from within his cell.

"Nothing, just like the last 2 times today and the 8 or 9 times before that." Rola replied.

"So what now? If they're going at an average speed back to IEC space, we should be near the Xanio border worlds. If we could get off this ship, we could go there and hide." Jeri asked.

"We could if we could get out of here. Any luck over there, Gary?" Rola asked.

"No. Nothing we can use to get out of here, Rola. Can't take down the fields simutaneously, can't overpower the guards and can't slow the ship enough to launch the escape pods. We're going to Taemunnic Prime, I guess."

Meanwhile... back in the present day:

Qazox at World Cup 56... the MD One review RP!

A not brillant result at Khytenna, but Qazox will take the 0-0 draw over a 1-0 loss anyday. Jessica Stone, making her 1st start as the #1 keeper on the team, performed great, stoping 6 shots including a penalty kick attempt from Lini Pellett in the 67th minute to preserve the scoreless draw. Up next for Qazox, the home opener against Armorgames at Rockport Stadium. Armorgames drew Autobotious 1-1 to begin their qualifying campaign last night.

Today's Three Big Questions:

#1- Was the scoreless draw more to Qazox' or Khytenna's advantage?
answer- Qazox'. Any time you can get a point from the #2 ranked team in the group on the road is good. Now they'd have to try to do the same against us when we host them.

#2- Easiest qualifying group and why?
answer- Group 4. Other than Sarzonia, I don't think any team in that group will come within 2 goals of The Babbage Islands, and Cabric might be the only other team besides the Stars to even get a goal in on them.

#3- Will Qazox ever a win a World Cup?
answer- No they never will, as much as I really hate to admit it. Qazox, I think, is forever fated to be Sisyphus. Qazox will always push the rock up to near the top of the World Cup, but are fated to have it roll away everytime.

by **Bazalonia** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 7:03 pm

WC Qualifier Matchday 1 Audio RP:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/7tDP6Hju/W ... _RP_2.html

by **Cotdelapoms** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 7:12 pm

Great Start For Apples in World Cup Qualifying!

The Apples' trip to Sarrbia was a roaring success, as they trounced the lovely ladies and gentlemen of Sarrbia 4-0. The goal included a free kick goal by a Sparta midfielder, which no doubt made Michel Carbonnier happy. Ismaël Yarrez led off the scoring from the aforementioned free kick in the 13th minute, curving perfectly past social networking starlet Merekassi Salazon. Salazon was beaten repeatedly in the first half, later by the indomitable Per-Olivier Johansson-Bakvis, who played a high ball in by Jesper Jensen with his head and past a diving Salazon. The third goal came in the 41st minute when some good build up play allowed Sacha St-Onge forward and he took a rocket shot that Salazon parried away and Jonathan Watson pounced on.

Excellent link play was crucial for the Apples in this first fixture, as can be expected with Michel Carbonnier in charge, and it will probably be key in their second fixture when Rent is 3 Damn High comes to Hamilton's Public Press Park. Little is known about Rent is 3 Damn High, but they are not considered to be much of a threat. Regardless, Michel Carbonnier will use roughly the same squad as before, as he has already announced the starting XI as the team returns from it's short jaunt to Sarrbia.

Starting XI for the match with Rent is 3 Damn High:

GK- Nicolas Painchaud
LB- Raphaël Dubé
CB- Sandro Buono
RB- Alexandre Grainger
DM- Pascal-Luc Brillant
LW- Jesper Jensen
CM- Jonathan Watson
RW- Sacha St-Onge
AM- Gaëtan LaChance
FW- Per-Olivier Johansson-Bakvis
FW- Jackson Diawara

ASK A SUPER-FAN

In this segment we ask a member of the Apple Battalion questions about Cotdelapoms' national team and its' opponents! Today our player is Grégory Dupuis from Outremont. Answer all five right and win a coupon for $500 off an Oak Air flight to follow our national team abroad!

QUESTION ONE: What is Rent is 3 Damn High best known for?
Grégory: Haha, oh god. I guess when I think of it I think of it as a place with a ridiculous name and stupid people. One of those two things?
INCORRECT!- Sorry Greg! Whilst Rent is 3 Damn High does have among the least intelligent citizens in the world according to a World Assembly survey, and it certainly has one of the most peculiar names in the world, it can be most attributed to (in an unscientific phone survey we took just today) "absolutely nothing". The second most popular answer was "the video flag, that's kind of weird" (we actually got that twice).

QUESTION TWO: What are the national dishes of Rent is 3 Damn High?
Grégory: They eat whatever the government tells them to!
CORRECT!- Yes, their King seems to be in charge of assigning the people of this strange country with their meals every day. This sounds expensive to keep up with, perhaps it's part of their expensive rent?

QUESTION THREE: How much is your rent every month?
Grégory: Hahahaha. $475 a month, but I live in Outremont.
CORRECT!- Although you could actually be lying to us, we didn't check your records. We don't have that access yet.

QUESTION FOUR: Tout-Puissant Outremont striker Per-Olivier Johansson-Bakvis owns over 10 of what animal?
Grégory: Oh man, I don't know. Dogs?
INCORRECT!- Kind of a trick question, but Johansson-Bakvis keeps bees, which of course caused him to miss a few matches during the last World Cup qualification campaign after he was caught without his helmet briefly and was covered in bee stings. He's a wacky dude.

QUESTION FIVE: Who is the only player to score two goals directly from free kicks in an international match for Cotdelapoms?
Richard: Michel Carbonnier.
INCORRECT!- Seems like the obvious answer, doesn't it? Unfortunately, it's not, the answer is actually Eualdo Nkong, who scored two of them against Ansernia Islands in their 2-0 victory in Copa Rushmori IV in Logria. Unfortunately you got three answers wrong out of five, so the gift cart to Oak Air to follow the team on the road does not go to you, but if you want to play, just e-mail askasuperfan@professionalfoul.cdp and we may pick you for a future game!

by **Stuffed Taxidermists** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 7:14 pm

ST Sports Informer

Victory over Jedi 8246
Stuffed Taxidermists kicked off World Cup qualifying with a win over Jedi 8246. The team went into the match knowing they had to win, as this was one of the games they were expected to win. They didn't disappoint early, putting on all the pressure and using Machiavelli and Andrew Lelsh to run the ball forward, and get it to Horhae Ronazo. Ronazo had five shots in the first half alone, but unfortunately could not score. The Stuffed Taxidermists fans continued to sing through te half time break, knowing their team had the momentum edge. Both teams came back out of the break nervous, and early in the second half Stuffed Taxidermists made some pretty simple mistakes that allowed Jedi8246 to get the ball and attack. Thankfully, Stuffed Taxidermists regained control soon after and continued the attack, unable to score due to Jedi 8246's goalkeeper. The only goal of the match came in the 76th minute when Horhae Ronazo got past his defender with a spin, passed it to Xven who crossed it back to Ronazo, making the Jedi 8246 goalkeeper fall over, letting Ronazo comfortably slot through a goal. The Stuffed Taxidermistsans mamaged to hold on until the final whistle, clogging the ball up and passing it around. The win was met by a loud roar from the crowd and some enthusiastic celebrations by the players. Manager Mark Railes was available for questions after the game, and the ST Sports Informer managed to get a one on one interview with him.

Interviewer: Mark, how would you rate the win that the boys just got over Jedi8246?
Mark Railes: Yeah look, I think the boys did well enough. They let themselves down at the beginning of the second half, but then we put Heath Poller on for Andrew Lelsh so we started to really get that run back and managed to get it back to Horhae who eventually scored.
Interviewer: We all want to know about David Smith. How is he?
Mark Railes: He's doing fine. I think his performance out there today was consistent, and although he wasn't best on ground he still played well, putting in a few crucial tackles and acting as the defensive midfielder, whihc is unusual for him.
Interviewer: What would you rate the teams chances of qualifying for the World Cup?
Mark Railes: Unlikely. I think at the moment we're in the build up stage were maybe in three or four qualifications we may be able to qualify and that should be good. But for now we're just here to play, and I would be very surprised if we could qualify anytime soon.
Interviewer: Thanks for talking to me today, Mark. Have fun with the celebrations.
Mark Railes: I certainly will.

by **Rent is 3 Damn High** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 7:54 pm

The High Paper
Well I guess we're back for the start of World Cup qualifying.
We left you in the Semi Finals of the Baptism of Fire, when Renti s 3 Damn High was knocked out by Kalumba, the eventual winners of the tournament. Of course, getting as far as that in the Baptism of Fire brought confidence to our team, and now even more confidence is to behold. A 4-0 victory over Branta Islands was met with fierce celbration, that of Epic Meal Time proportions. Our boys came out slightly under confident, but our good performance in the Baptism of Fire spoke for itself. We were not to be underestimated. Early on our players put on all of the pressure, kicking long and hard. The first goal came in the 14th minute when James Mack juggled the ball quickly and put the ball straight into the back of the net. Loud celebrations ensued. Another goal came in the 22nd minute, when Gino Smopmom got the pass backwards and sprinted directly towards a defender, faked at the last minute, wheeled around and sprinted towards goal, putting it in when he reached the edge of the box. Exctatic celebrations ensued. Loud chants erupted around the stadium.
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM NO RENT!
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM NO RENT!
As extra time set in for the first half, Jimmy Mack Jr. made a break from defense. He chipped a ball overhead that went seemingly nowwhere, just like Stuffed Taxidermists last campaign in the World Cup (Ha ha!), and the Branta Islands defender ran slowly towards it. Little did he know that that Declan Roimozex was sprinting towards the ball with a messed up expression on his face. Next thing you know, Roimozex had the ball, ticked the goalkeeper and scored. Frantic celebrations ensued. Through the half time break Jimmy Mack Sr. passed out drinsk and gave no advice. He just told the team to keep it up and come and dance with him. Pretty weird. The team came out after the break as fired up as ever, but couldn't score for the first twenty minutes. Eventually though, the
Branta Islands defenders got tired and could not keep up with our strikers, allowing for a corner. Jimmy Mack Jr. put in a beautiful cross, and his son Jimmy Mack Jr. Jr. put through a spectacular goal, courtesy of a header. Maniacal clebrations ensued. More chants erupted around the Stadium.
WE HATE RENT CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
WE HATE RENT CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
The team conitnued to attack until the final whistle, which was enjoyed thoroughly by all. The teams assistant coaches just managed to hold Jimmy Mack Sr. back from the celebrations, and the first hotel room was trashed. Our next match is against Cotdelapoms. We don't expect to win that. We will probably come out with our heads down. But hey, the Jamaican Bobsled team didn't give up when they were down, so why should we?

WC 56 SNLVI RP Thread

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