[CONTEST DRAFT-DRAFT 3] Comrades Across the Border

[Northern Slatavia]

An issue obviously for the new contest draft, and I hope you enjoy!

[title] Comrades Across the Border

[validity] Must be socialist, high levels of authoritarianism

[description] A revolution has created a new neighboring nation, Proletaria, formerly Valskavia, where the newly installed People's Liberation Committee has declared its intention to join @@NAME@@. The Committee claims that the revolution has ushered in a new era of international socialist solidarity, and that uniting with @@NAME@@ would strengthen the global struggle against capitalism. For now, Proletaria is only recognized by a handful of sympathetic socialist governments, leaving its future uncertain.

[option] "We have already shed our blood for the socialist cause," declares Committee Chairman @@RANDOMNAME@@, raising the new Proletarian flag above his head. "Why should an arbitrary border prevent us from building a common future? Bring Proletaria into @@NAME@@ and we can pool our resources, coordinate our industries, and ensure that our revolution survives."

[effect] @@LEADER@@ has discovered borders are easier to remove when you own both sides

[option] "Annexation would turn a friendly revolution into an international incident," warns your Foreign Minister, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Instead, we should bankroll Proletaria's reconstruction and sign a series of cooperation agreements. We could supply food, machinery, and advisers while allowing them to remain formally independent. We can strengthen a fellow socialist government without changing its borders, and perhaps gain a reliable economic partner in the process."

[effect] foreign governments have begun accepting @@NAME@@'s aid with few objections

[option] "I don't trust these revolutionaries any more than I trust the capitalists," declares @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister for Revolutionary Affairs. "Their coup replaced one ruling clique with another and left their citizens caught in the middle. We should remove the Committee and replace it with socialist leaders we actually trust. With the right people in charge, Proletaria can remain independent while becoming a dependable ally of @@NAME@@. Of course, we'll need to make sure nobody interferes with our little political rearrangement."

[effect] revolutionary advisers have begun carrying paperwork proving they are sufficiently revolutionary

[option] "Honestly, I don't particularly care what Proletaria becomes," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister for Foreign Affairs, glancing over the recognition document. "Recognize the People's Liberation Committee, establish diplomatic relations, and leave them to sort out the rest. Whether they stay independent, join someone else, or collapse into complete chaos isn't really our problem."

[effect] @@NAME@@ has begun issuing official-looking papers confirming that other nations exist

[Trotterdam]

A revolution has transformed the neighboring nation of Proletaria,

I'm guessing it wasn't called Proletaria before the revolution?

where the newly installed People's Liberation Committee has declared its intention to join @@NAME@@. The Committee claims that its revolution has left the country economically unstable and diplomatically isolated, and that becoming part of a larger socialist state would finally give its citizens the security they deserve.

Hmm. Someone could argue that different nations owning separate territory is itself a form of private property, and thus unsocialist

[Lupinern]

[quote="Trotterdam";p="43925437]I'm guessing it wasn't called Proletaria before the revolution?[/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote]

You think it was called Bourgeoisia beforehand

(The joke didn't land)

[Northern Slatavia]

A revolution has transformed the neighboring nation of Proletaria,

I'm guessing it wasn't called Proletaria before the revolution

Done, thanks for the feedback!

where the newly installed People's Liberation Committee has declared its intention to join @@NAME@@. The Committee claims that its revolution has left the country economically unstable and diplomatically isolated, and that becoming part of a larger socialist state would finally give its citizens the security they deserve.

Hmm. Someone could argue that different nations owning separate territory is itself a form of private property, and thus unsocialist

I'm on my computer now and can respond. I would disagree. If the nation formally annexed another, I feel that would not be provate property, as it's now part of @@NAME@@.

I'm guessing it wasn't called Proletaria before the revolution?

You think it was called Bourgeoisia beforehand

Why?

[Northern Slatavia]

[title] Comrades Across the Border

[validity] Must be socialist

[description] A revolution has created a new neighboring nation, Proletaria, formerly Valskavia, where the newly installed People's Liberation Committee has declared its intention to join @@NAME@@. The Committee claims that its revolution has left the country economically unstable and diplomatically isolated, and that becoming part of a larger socialist state would finally give its citizens the security they deserve.

[option] "We have already shed our blood for the socialist cause," declares Committee chairman @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Why should an arbitrary border prevent us from building a common future? Bring Proletaria into @@NAME@@ and we can pool our resources, coordinate our industries, and ensure that our revolution survives."

[effect] @@LEADER@@ has discovered borders are easier to remove when you own both sides

[option] "Annexation would turn a friendly revolution into an international incident," warns your Foreign Minister, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Instead, we should bankroll Proletaria's reconstruction and sign a series of cooperation agreements. We could supply food, machinery, and advisers while allowing them to remain formally independent. Their government would owe us a great deal, and that's considerably more useful than provoking every capitalist state in the neighborhood."

[effect] foreign governments have begun accepting @@NAME@@'s aid with few objections

[option] "I don't trust these revolutionaries any more than I trust the capitalists," declares @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister for Revolutionary Affairs. "Their coup replaced one ruling clique with another and left their citizens caught in the middle. We should help Proletaria establish a genuinely representative socialist government before deciding anything about its future. Of course, we'll need to make sure outside powers don't interfere while we assist them."

[effect] revolutionary advisers have begun carrying paperwork proving they are sufficiently revolutionary

[Brezzia]

You may use "A revolution has created a new neighboring nation, Proletaria."
If I remember correctly, modern Mongolia was founded with secession from Chinese Empire and became a Soviet ally.

[Northern Slatavia]

You may use "A revolution has created a new neighboring nation, Proletaria."
If I remember correctly, modern Mongolia was founded with secession from Chinese Empire and became a Soviet ally.

I changed it, thanks for the feedback.

[Australian rePublic]

How is option 1 different from option 3? You want to annex them in everything but name? is that the difference?

[Northern Slatavia]

Thanks for the feedback, I’ll respond later

[EA Corporations]

The situation seems very similar to the Tuvan People's Republic, if this wasn't already what inspired the issue, I would recommend seeing if you could incorporate anything from that story into the issue.

[Northern Slatavia]

The situation seems very similar to the Tuvan People's Republic, if this wasn't already what inspired the issue, I would recommend seeing if you could incorporate anything from that story into the issue.

That was not the inspiration, this was just an interesting idea that popped up in my head. Ikll give it a read thoguh, thanks!

[Chan Island]

I am fond of this draft. Not much more to say currently, just registering good feelings.

[Northern Slatavia]

I am fond of this draft. Not much more to say currently, just registering good feelings.

Now if only you were a editor
If you find any feedback please tell!

EA corporations, I did not forget, just did not have time to respond. I have a Xc meet tommorow and then a football/soccer game, but I'll try to get a new draft if I find anything interesting about the wikipedia article

[Kractero]

The socialism policy in NationStates is more so an economic one, so I'd be more careful of portraying this as like a communist union of two nations. Not all socialist nations are hardline stalinist or maoist nations, I think you should add a validity for authoritarian nations.

Now, in the description, you refer to Proletaria as a "new neighboring nation." Either the nation fractured into two so it's like Ethiopia now bordering South Sudan instead of Sudan or there's suddenly a new nation there. The original name doesn't really seem to matter unless for flavor, I guess a future issue could use it.

All speakers need more character and voice to differentiate them, and could have more descriptors in their dialogue. for example "declares Committee chariman @@RANDOMNAME@@, waving the new Proletarian flag" or so.

For the first option, there is also an inconsistency between what they propose here and what is described unless intentional. Proletaria is described as economically unstable, yet the speaker is talking as if it would somehow benefit the nation to let them join. Instead, their reason for joining could be framed as like unity amongst communist nations and a sign of the world revolution or something instead. This would be like the Soviet Union integrating every nation in the Eastern Bloc which they certainly didn't because of the below option.

The effect line for two doesn't really make sense to me.

You need to be more explicit on how the third option will happen honestly. This just sounds like option 1 and option 2 combined to me, where you assist them and then essentially mold them into a puppet state / annex them. An angle you can take hear is the tried and true American way of just removing the leaders you don't like and replacing them with Proletarian ones you do like.

I think this is missing just a simple "recognize they exist" option.

A flavor option with a different minority socialist faction participated in the revolution asking for your help would work gaining power would be cute, but that could be option creep.

[Northern Slatavia]

Thanks for the feedback Kractero.

[Northern Slatavia]

Draft 2 is out with feedback from Kractero taken and slight changes from EA Corporation’s Tuvan article. I have added the recognition option and changed wording in some spots.

Edit: planned submission is 4th of October

[Brezzia]

I do not understand why high levels of authoritarianism would be required for a voluntary annexation.

The effect of the last option is focused on Proletaria. I think it should be focused on player's nation, like "@@NAME@@ requires official-looking pieces of paper to confirm that other nations exist".

[Northern Slatavia]

I do not understand why high levels of authoritarianism would be required for a voluntary annexation.

The socialism policy in NationStates is more so an economic one, so I'd be more careful of portraying this as like a communist union of two nations. Not all socialist nations are hardline stalinist or maoist nations, I think you should add a validity for authoritarian nations.

The effect of the last option is focused on Proletaria. I think it should be focused on player's nation, like "@@NAME@@ requires official-looking pieces of paper to confirm that other nations exist".

I’ll work on a more @@NAME@@ focused effect 4.

[Northern Slatavia]

The effect of the last option is focused on Proletaria. I think it should be focused on player's nation, like "@@NAME@@ requires official-looking pieces of paper to confirm that other nations exist".

Changed to

@@NAME@@ has begun issuing official-looking papers confirming that other nations exist

[Kractero]

It doesn't need to be authoritarianism. I'm just saying the act of annexation isn't really fitting with socialism as depicted in NationStates as it is just an economic one, not governmental. The wording makes it seem less fitting for compassionate or pacifist socialist nations.

Option 4 should be a lot more apathetic, in my opinion.

[Northern Slatavia]

Option 4 should be a lot more apathetic, in my opinion.

I changed it, this will be my submitted version.

Edit: I misread the news post and thought the deadline was October 7th, not November. Apologies, this is still under drafting, and thank you to Kractero.

[Kractero]

I guess eliciting this amount of feedback is enough for some

[Northern Slatavia]

I guess eliciting this amount of feedback is enough for some

Oh crap, I thought the deadline was October 7th as compared to November, would you be willing to delete the submission?

[Klaus Devestatorie]

I guess eliciting this amount of feedback is enough for some

Oh crap, I thought the deadline was October 7th as compared to November, would you be willing to delete the submission?

You can resubmit an updated version freely until the deadline. We'd prefer people use as much time as possible on their entry as more time spent drafting results in a better draft 99.9% of the time.

[Northern Slatavia]

Oh crap, I thought the deadline was October 7th as compared to November, would you be willing to delete the submission?

You can resubmit an updated version freely until the deadline. We'd prefer people use as much time as possible on their entry as more time spent drafting results in a better draft 99.9% of the time.

Alright thanks, and once again sorry.