Cup of Harmony 93 | Everything Thread

by **Carpathia and Ruthenia** » Wed Jun 24, 2026 12:58 pm

Encouraging signs in loss against defending champions

Incumbent champions Saterun have clearly come here with something to prove, a crucial 2-2 draw against Oberour Ar Moro meant the missed out on automatic qualification to the world cup before losing to a Drawkland side who'd battled their way through every plaoff round. Perhaps they are looking to claim a prize that only two nations in the long anmd storied history of the Cup of Harmony; win back-to-back championships. Only Qasden (editions 68 & 70) and Newmanistan (editions 36 & 37) have managed this feat before, Newmanistan even managing three in a span of four editions. Will the sweet taste of that record help overcome the bitterness of being so close but yet so far from the main prize of the World Cup proper?

Thier players left no doubt on the pitch tonight as they came out strong and dominant, the first half overwhemingly in control with 80 percent of possession and the Carpathia and Ruthenia team hardly leaving their own half, this pressure was rewarded with two goals late in the first half. As the half time whistle blew Carpathia and Ruthenia fans in the crowd must have been having flash backs to World Cup 98 qualfying where we were similarly torn apart 5-1 by the Saterun side. However in an encouraging sign the Carpathia and Ruthenia team seemed to come onto the pitch unbowed and unbroken and a fire in their belly, no signs of the bickering we'd seen during qualifying and a much more balanced game in the second half.

The Saterun team were clearly still the better side and although we were not limited to our own half any more, we weren't able to break through the Saterun defense save for a Fedoryshyn header that rattled the crossbar. Saterun perhaps having taken their foot off the gas with the two goal cushion didn't take away from a team that although didn't pull off a comeback did stand together and not crumble apart as we saw so often in qualifying. Hopefully we can start off our match against Taeshan the way we started the second half here, they will be licking their wounds after a 4-0 demolition by Airannia. Our only previous match against Taeshan was just over 50 cycles ago I imagine only hardcore elven fans might remember the game, echoing this game with a 2-0 loss in Cup of Harmony 42. Will history repeat itself or will we get our first points of the tournament?

By Margita Ongaro
CBC Ruthenia

by **Saperetia** » Wed Jun 24, 2026 1:07 pm

The Central Chronicle
---------------------------
Saperetia Hit New High, Win against Milchama in Cup of Harmony
Milchama 0-1 Saperetia

The Saperetian team, fresh off of the 101st World Cup Qualifiers, have recieved an invitation for the Cup of Harmony, a tournament for disappointed nations to allow them to disappoint even further. The nation has been drawn into Group F, alongside Megistos, Kelssek, and our first opponent, Milchama. The Milchamian team is also fresh ~~from a playoff loss to Drawkland at the end of the qualifiers~~ -ly new because their previous team got fired from a playoff loss to Drawkland at the end of the qualifiers. There are questions surrounding whether it is a smart idea to perform something like this, as a new team may not mix together well at the start of a tournament. The Saperetian Football Federation released a statement, noting that they "noted the idea down, just in case". Fans were confused as to whether this was an encouragement for the team or a threat, to which the SFF said: "It may seem like a threat, because it is", seemingly having taken that statement from the mouth of a certain brick-building corporation that recently found itself in some controversy within the Saperetian mainland that some readers may be familiar with. Anyway, now the required transitions to the lineups as the standard SAP 4-3-3 lined up against the illogical MILF 3-3-4:

Saperetia: GK Hranislav (C) DEF Abdelkader, Carloza, Damjan, Anatoliv MID Gil, Inget, Camilo ATK Jacques, Seppel, Seppo

Milchama: GK Lindsey DEF Donest, Ben Aron, Donaldson MID Jones, Miller, Thun ATK Tegusken, Clashko, Hallam, Wandy

The match started with the Saperetians unsurprisingly on the defence like somewhat 90% of recent games. This allowed the Milchamians to attack the goal unooposed for the first five minutes before a break by Seppo saw a big chance for the crimson go unused due to a bad cross from said Seppo to Seppel (to the fans who complain about these two having similar names: at least they're easy to write, we have written "Jaques" in about half of our articles during this WCQ), and while fans hoped that this would be the start of a shift in momentum, it was, just the wrong way (for us). The next ten minutes were characterized by the Warriors constantly pummeling the goal, but bad finishing, good defenders and a federation whose tactic has been "park the f*cking bus" since its inception meant none of those pummelings went used. The Milchamians slowed down a bit around the quarter hour mark before picking up the pace again until the hydration break. New for this edition of the Cup of Harmony is an "Hydration Break ~~that we are calling that but reaaaally it's just for ads because we love AAADDDSSS~~", where players need to go off the field to have a drink. In this first hydration break for the team, officials were stunned because 1 no one had specified what "drink" was so some players just took some alcoholic beverages out on the field and 2 only about half of the 22 players walked off the field. The others, thinking this was an organized protest walk-off against the threats of the SFF continued playing, leading to the situation where Seppel rounded Ben Aron, and then shot one past Lindsey leading to the Saperetians gaining a goal. The rest of the hydration break was spent with the players on the field confused, the players who walked off explaining the new rules to those who stayed on, and the officials debating whether or not this was a legal goal. Eventually, once the break passed, the officials decided that it was completely fine because both teams had voluntarily given up the hydration break by virtue of some players remaining on the field. Despite Milchamian protest, the match restarted again and the teams went back to doing what they did best, parking and missing. The fair-unfair goal noticeably rattled the Warriors as for the rest of the half, the quality of their chances and shots wasn't as good as before. The Crimsonites had some chances such as another run from Seppo in the 36th minute that one thing led to another, and Jacques stood over the ball just outside the box, before shooting the free kick off into row Y somewhere up in the stadium. As the end of the first half drew near, the Milchama Warriors decided to leave their energy for the second half, allowing for the Saperetians to get a couple of shots in.

During half-time, Silivia had an idea: what if we changed tactics? And so, instead of the 4-3-3-that-is-practically-a-5-2-2-1 the team usually played he'd devised a new strategy: 6-3-0-1, swapping out Gil and Camilo for Simon and Ante and Jacques and Seppo for Shah and Govind, parking the bus even harder than he had done before. This led to the Milchama Warriors having free reign over the field of battle and as such, led to them running around taking things that some would call "shots" but we cannot legally classify them as that because of how far off some of them were. Eventually, coming up on the 60th minutes, the Warriors slowed down their attack on the Saperetian goal (or The Crimsonites got better at defending, but because of the bus in the way we could not see clearly). When officials signaled for the second hydration break to occur, now slightly more than half the players walked off, but still not enough to declare the game dead, leading to two fantastic Milchamian shots in the 68th and 69th minute, which were thankfully (for us) saved by Hranislav, who decided to stay on "just in case". The walked-off players only realized the match hadn't stopped when they all ran back on the pitch once the break was over, and finding the game in progress. How they managed to do this is lost on all of us here at this paper. The Crimsonites immediately ran back to their goal and parked the bus again, while the Warriors seemed to throw in the towel after the saves during the hydration break. A few conciliatory chances late (surprisingly, one from Seppel in '87, that again went sky f*cking high) did not see the results changed, and the match ended 1-0 in favour of the bus team.

Statguy07's match momentum chart:

Match Momentum Chart Between Milchama And Saperetia, Because This Paper Is Insane (derogatory).

The win sets the Saperetian team in second, as the 4-2 win from Kelssek over Megistos, our next opponent, sees the former go top on goal difference (because H2H, shockingly, isn't yet set after 1 matchday). Silivia, despite the shockingly boring football he sent upon the eyes of the spectators, seemed to be proud of the victory "hard fought" (read: stolen) from the Milchamians. We asked analysts whether we would win against Megistos when we arrived at that, based off of the match just played, but most gave up half-way through watching the game. Fans are hoping that we can win to set us up for continuation into the knockouts, but some are fearing that a too-defensive strategy may see problems in terms of goal-scoring. The SFF officially released a statement on the somewhat controversial game, reading: "The fans can stuff it. We are keeping Silivia's strategy up. And if the fans don't like that, they can sue us." which again mirrored statement from a certain other controversy squarely, leading to conspiracies over who really controlled the SFF. The players, when speaking to the media, seemed to not give the SFF's recent statements any mind, vowing to "continue (trying to) get the best result possible."

by **Kamijiro** » Wed Jun 24, 2026 4:17 pm

Capital Park, Kwrpanmap: What?

The Kamijiroan Football Association would like to extend its sincerest apologies to all travelling fans who were in attendence for the Lightning's scheduled Cup of Harmony Group B match against Myrtle Beach. We understand the disappointment that the match did not proceed as intended and was instead turned into a massive cookout instead. We are pleased that the Kamijiroan fans that joined the cookout were treated with the utmost respect by the representatives from Myrtle Beach and were given free food and beverage. However, we as an association do feel that we would be remiss if we did not issue refunds to travelling supporters for the cost of entrance to the match. If you were in attendance, please contact the football association's ticket office within the next seven days by dialing the number listed in the BlackPages, then dialing your KFA PIN and ticket number as the extension. All refunds will be wired to you directly. Thank you for your patience and understanding in this matter and we hope to see your continued support in the upcoming Cup of Harmony matches. Go Lightning!

Bunta Nagano's first-ever match as a manager was a forfeit win. Take that down for some pub trivia. The Kamijiroans were flabbergasted that the players from Myrtle Beach stood up so directly to their Association's decisions like that - in Kamijiro, an approach so direct would be seen as a mutiny attempt and would likely end with players being blacklisted from the National Team. Most of the time between the listed kickoff time was spent with the Kamijiroans lined up and waiting for the Myrtle Beach players to quit mucking about, but that never ended up happening. Eventually, resident social butterfly Nicácio Xavier walked over to the grills, grabbed himself a can of beer and sat down on the grass. It was at this point that the referee called the game and awarded the Kamijiroans a victory by default. The rest of the team sort of shuffled over and sat in a semi-circle and hung out for a while. The fans joined in later, but Nagano had already recalled the players to the locker room after they ate.

Nagano wasn't too pleased with the stunt, reportedly, though he is pleased the referee saw reason and blew the game dead.
"Not sure what to make of that, to be honest." He said in his post-match interview. "The referee did a good job of making sure that [Myrtle Beach] were serious about it before calling the game off. I'd spoken to Katsu [Fujiwara] from the sidelines so he could relay to the referee what was being talked about on our end and I'm guessing the referee saw that there was no stopping their protest. As much as I don't like that my managerial debut was a match that was not even played, I am pleased that we have three points and plus-three goal difference on the board to open the group stage."

The Lightning will be back in action against Eriadni next at Capital Park in Kwrpanmap.

by **Eriadni** » Wed Jun 24, 2026 4:37 pm

A resurgent Eriadni has marked out it's CoH 93 campaign in style with a thorough 3-1 win over Natkr! Playing in the magnificant Capital Park, the Eriadnians were cool, calm and collected under the pressure of appearing in a new multiversal tournament.

Opening the scoring in style was striker Bai Yanyu, who headed home a beautiful cross in the 18th minute, before Natkr equalised ten minutes later with a ripper strike just inside the box. From there, the first half remained poised, as both sides attempted to both build up their attacks and break down their opponents. Despite the Eriadnians looking a lot more potent in attack than in their recent WCQ games, Natkr were able to withstand the pressure, and disrupt the build-up in midfield.

Returning from a half-time break to a match which could go either way, Bai Yanyu was notably substituted for Tiancheng City FC striker Gong An. From the kick-off, the Eriadnians played a series of quick accurate passes, a lot more direct than in the first half. Spreading the play wide, the Eriadnian wingers Zeng Da and Shen Lanfen put in double shifts, making multiple impressive runs, occasionally cutting inside and making many excellent crosses. On the whole, this was a team who took the fight to the Natkr side, with an intensity and speed which their opponents seemed unprepared for. The breakthrough came in the 56th minute, when Gong An sent a low drive straight past the keeper into the bottom right corner, putting the Eriadnians ahead once more!

Not content to sit on the lead, the Eriadni side made multiple substitutions in midfield and up front, hoping to keep the pressure on and not give Natkr an inch. Shen Lanfen gave way to Xiang Ai, after an excellent performance and a credited assist for Bai's opening goal. Wan Qing came on for Wen Pengfei, hoping that fresh legs could keep the game for the Eriadnians. It would however, come to Zeng Da to put the final ball in the Natkr net, chasing down a cleared long ball with excellent pace and a delightful cut inside to beat her last man. Zeng has emerged as a national hero of sorts, following excellent performances in World Cup qualification and the Kovatsk Cup, and this goal adds another feat to her credit. At the full-time whistle, the Eriadnians took away a firmly deserved win, and now faces a somewhat disconsolate Kamijiro side. However despite turmoil at home, and a relative fall from grace, Eriadni know they cannot underestimate an opponent for whom desperation might make excellent motivation...

ISideWith UK · by **Eastfield Lodge** » Wed Jun 24, 2026 4:53 pm

Eraman - Line-up

GK: Wijaya
CB: Dharma 56'
CB: Mahesa
RB: Giri 23' (<> Kencana 45')
LB: Budaya
DMF: Buana
DMF: Pustaka 43' (<> Sanatara 45')
RMF: Wacana (<> Mahkota 64')
LMF: Perkasa 54'
AMF: Sakti (<> Sembara 64')
ST: Setia (<> Wijaksana 77' 83')

Eastfield Lodge - Line-up

GK: Melia
CB: Darragh
CB: Halward
RB: Kirkup (<> Plummer 78')
LB: Webber
DMF: Forde 54' (<> Dinwoodie 68')
RMF: Caceres (<> Walkden 68')
LMF: Hangeland 83' (<> Jafari-Law 83')
AMF: Scripps
ST: Ingersleben
ST: Holdsworth (<> Noble 78')

Cup of Harmony 93 Group A Matchday 1

Location: National Stadium, Tydebwg, Kwrpania
Attendance: 51,931

23% - Possession - 77%
3 - Shots - 18
1 - Shots on Target - 13
2 - Corners - 10
18 - Fouls - 7

[][][][][]Eraman 0 – 5 Eastfield Lodge

Holdsworth (11', 44') ––– [][][][][][][][][][][][]
Ingersleben (28', 76') --- [][][][][][][][][][][][]
Walkden (90+1') --- [][][][][][][][][]

A pair of goals for each of the Eastfield Lodge strikers helps the Lodgers achieve their biggest ever opening win in any competition as Alexander Jager marks his first game in charge of the Imperial Commonwealth.

A near capacity crowd in Tydebwg in Kwrpania’s National Stadium marked the opening game of the Cup of Harmony, featuring the Imperial Commonwealth, entering the tournament ranked 43rd in the world, against the group’s lowest ranked in Eraman, ranked 261st. Both sides named their expected starting elevens, which for the Lodgers meant a return to a 4-1-2-1-2 diamond formation not employed by Eastfield Lodge since the early days of their international footballing journey, as well as a debut for Apollo Halward in the back four and a promotion to goal for Beatrice Melia, the Royal Jam goalkeeper. Eraman also named their nominally strongest starting eleven, although largely unchanged from qualifying unlike the Lodgers. Most neutrals would have been expecting a good performance from the first seeds, who are also seen as one of the overall tournament favourites, but what followed was nothing short of a masterclass.

The dominance came about early as Eraman tried to play some attacking attractive football, only to fail to make any forward progress before Jentara Sakti was dispossessed in midfield by Szilard Forde, the newly transferred RGS midfielder then playing a sublime ball out to Boet Caceres on the right, his new club teammate making light work of left-back Lestara Budaya before his cross found the head of Enoch Ingersleben, the talismanic striker only able to direct his header straight at Arka Wijaya in the Eraman net. The Eraman keeper was unable to keep out the next effort however, Norrion striker Chappell Holdsworth with the freedom of the box from a corner to bullet a header into the top corner for the opening goal. The Stags striker almost doubled his tally two minutes later, as Rafeeda Scripps intercepted a lazy ball from the back four, feeding in Holdsworth who was only denied by the fingertips of Wijaya as the ball went past the wrong side of the post.

The Lodgers kept up the pressure though, Ingersleben then forcing the next error and the next goal as a result, the Tihon United striker latching on to a mishit pass from Wijaya and immediately firing a shot into the top corner from 25 yards as Wijaya scrambled to get back into position to make the save. Scripps also tested Wijaya a few minutes after the half hour mark, as her free kick was pushed away from the goal from 28 yards, but Eraman continued to play on the back foot by trying to be expansive but failing to beat the Eastfielder press, their first real shot coming shortly before half-time as Citra Setia ran onto the end of a long ball from Tirta Buana, the Eraman striker only managing to hook her shot across the face of goal under pressure from Halward.

The killer blow for the match as a contest came seconds before first half stoppage time, as Holdsworth doubled his tally in spectacular style with an overhead kick as he stretched to reach Darrell Hangeland’s chipped pullback, Wijaya left flat-footed in the Eraman net. The Monkey Kings tried to change things over half-time, with two defensive substitutions aiming to reduce their defensive errors and hopefully limit their losses. It certainly worked for a while afterwards, as the Lodgers took their foot off the gas early in the second half whilst the ball died in the midfield battle. The minnows registered their only shot on target in the match during this period, again a long ball over the top from the centre back finding Nirmala Perkasa, the Eraman winger then cutting inside before curling an effort that was bound for the top corner before being expertly pushed over the bar by Melia in the Lodgers’ net.

In the end though, the favourites reasserted themselves on the match and began to dominate proceedings once more, especially once the fresher legs were brought on. RGS winger Mutee’a Walkden proved pivotal for the fourth goal, picking up the ball in the centre circle and beating both players down Eraman’s left flank, cutting inside before playing a pinpoint low cross straight into the path of Ingersleben, arriving late into the box to smash home the fourth goal into the top corner of the net. Eraman collapsed after that, playing maximally defensive football just to keep the scoreline from becoming any more embarrassing - and in the end, it was to no avail as Walkden turned goalscorer herself, this time electing to shoot instead of cross as she curled a brilliantly placed shot from the corner of the box past Wijaya in the Eraman net.

With such a dominant display, all eyes are now on the next match in the group stage against Martian Independent Republic, as fans will wonder whether this was a one-off performance or whether this is a sign of things to come for the Imperial Commonwealth on the international footballing stage. With the other match in the group yet to be played, a win in the second group game might be enough to seal the Lodgers’ place in the knockouts, a feat that has sometimes proven surprisingly difficult for the Imperial Commonwealth in Cups of Harmony past.

Line-up to play the Martian Independent Republic (4-1-2-1-2):
Melia - Darragh, Halward, Kirkup, Webber - Forde - Caceres, Hangeland - Scripps - Ingersleben, Holdsworth
Suspended: N/A
Injured: N/A

by **Sel Appa** » Wed Jun 24, 2026 5:02 pm

A word from our sponsors...

by **Solgavden** » Wed Jun 24, 2026 5:14 pm

RSFF Centennial Player Showcase

Continuing with our series of covering iconic Solgavish players from years gone by, eagle eyed viewers might have noticed that a few players were omitted from the last installment. During the 1980s, a fearsome trio terrorized the Kongensliga, with their skill, athleticism, and passion being unmatched. Those three players crafted a dynasty with Rega Lysborg that is still fondly remembered today, with an untold number of athletes being directly inspired by them. Known as the Triumvirate, the combined efforts of Kistner, Strömberg, and Landau will be honored as some of the greatest performances in Kongensliga history, and all three of them commemorated as some of the greatest players to grace the pitch, entirely deserving of a section dedicated just to them.

─ ⊱⟡ THE TRIUMVIRATE ⟡⊰ ─

Kurt Landau
Position: Striker
Club(s): Teglborg United, Rega Lysborg
Years Active: 1974-1996
Major Accolades: 9x Kongensliga Titles, 4x King Halfdan IV Cup, 3x Kongensliga Golden Boot, 1x Kongensliga MVP
P.I.S.S Score: [Pas: 10] [Inf: 8] [Suc: 10] [Sen: 10]
Kurt Landau today is a football pundit on various networks, beloved by fans for his wit, and loveable (if not boneheaded) personality. But during the Triumvirate’s reign of terror, he was Rega Lysborg’s monster in the box, a 6’ 6” demon whose sole goal was to make life hell for opposing defenders. Landau spent his first few years playing for Teglborg United before making the big transfer to Rega Lysborg, as many of the nation's elite players have done before him. What made Landau a threat was his ability to hound even the most physical center backs. This was especially clear during corners, where Landau can leap above most opposing players, and head in the ball with ferocity. This has led to him still having the records for most headed goals, and most aerial duels won. While being a physically dominant player, Landau was still an excellent shot, using both power and accuracy. Landau even scored one of the most iconic free-kicks in Solgavish history, a screamer from 33 yards out in the 1989 KH4 Cup Final. Landau was the most athletic out of the trio, and brought a level of passion to Rega Lysborg that was unmatched.

Peter Strömberg
Position: Central Attacking Midfielder
Club(s): SC Vennesberg, Rega Lysborg
Years Active: 1977-1998
Major Accolades: 11x Kongensliga Titles, 4x King Halfdan IV Cup, 1x Kongensliga Golden Boot, 2x Kongensliga MVP
P.I.S.S Score: [Pas: 9] [Inf: 10] [Suc: 10] [Sen: 10]
Now in his last few games as a manager, Peter Strömberg’s career as a player was equally legendary, considered to be one of the most effective midfielders in Kongensliga history, redefining the CAM role for generations to come. Unlike Landau, Strömberg wasn't the most gifted physically, considered to be undersized compared to most of his peers. But his technical skills more than made up for it, as his ability on the ball was unmatched during his prime. Strömberg's main strength was his passing, able to make short passes in tight windows to Kistner, or long crosses that could be headed in by Landau. With his two partners up front, it's easy to see how Strömberg would claim the record for most Kongensliga assists that still stands today, with over 400 in his career. Towards the end of his career, his age was starting to catch up to him, and he didn't have the stamina he once had as a young player. Worse yet, the death of Harald Kistner, the person he was the closest to, hit him hard, and there were multiple times where he considered walking away from it all. Yet Strömberg persevered, changing his playstyle to make use of his accurate leg, and leading Rega Lysborg like a general. It was in these finals years where his tactical brilliance started to shine, even serving as a player-manager during his last year before retirement. It was during that last year where Strömberg, along with his Rega Lysborg team that looked like a shell of itself, went on an 8 game winning streak, managing to climb from 12th place all the way to 1st, snatching the Kongensliga title from defending champions Kosmo Lunaris. Many fans were moved by the performance, including those that absolutely detested Rega Lysborg, and Strömberg's performance was celebrated as one of the greatest individual feats in Solgavish sports history. He bagged 11 goals and 10 assists, all while suffering from an injury, visibly limping during his final games as a player.

Harald Kistner
Position: Striker
Club(s): Rega Lysborg
Years Active: 1975-1994
Major Accolades: 10x Kongensliga Title, 4x King Halfdan IV Cup, 7x Kongensliga Golden Boot, 8x Kongensliga MVP
P.I.S.S Score: [Pas: 10] [Inf: 10] [Suc: 10] [Sen: 10]
King Kistner. Harald Kistner was a player that most would think of when imagining Solgavish sports, becoming a symbol for the entire nation. From a young age, it would be clear that Kistner would be a special one, having an amount of sheer natural talent that put him far ahead his contemporaries. Academies across the country clamored to sign him, but only one had the prestige and funds to secure him, so Kistner joined Rega Lysborg as a teenager. He made his professional debut when he was 17, and proceeded to score a brace against one of the toughest defenses in the league in their own stadium, shocking the home fans. From that moment his stardom rose exponentially, soon becoming the face of the league, and its most marketed player. Although the pressure was high on the young Kistner, he still rose to the challenge, scoring left and right for Rega Lysborg, with each goal being more beautiful than the last. By the early 1980s, he was paired with the other two members of the Triumvirate, and the trio took the league by storm, each of them being in the top 5 players for both goals and MVP votes. Through the years, he proved to be the best of the trio, and one of the best players in the league's history, as he continued to lead his team to title after title. He had smashed the career goals record previously held by August Saltzmann, and set a season goals record that was only recently broken by Sig Halvorsan. Towards the end of his career, he debated leaving Rega to claim a stake in other Lysborg club De Vursen, and perhaps play for them as well, but before any plans were finalized, he was tragically killed when a small plane he was travelling on crashed in 1994. This sent the nation into mourning, with Kistner's iconic number 10 being retired by both his club, and the Solgavish National Team. While not a state funeral per se , he was still laid in state at Aulric Palace, the seat of Solgavden's parliament, where he was visited by millions of fans, including both King Josef III and Chancellor George McKenna.

by **The Martian Independent Republic** » Wed Jun 24, 2026 5:29 pm

"So, Ms. Elaneous, what's on the agenda today? You haven't updated the schedule online."
"Great question, Rangi! Sorry for not updating the schedule. Today, in Multiversal Studies, we'll be learning about the Martian diaspora!"

Aleirave
There are a few Martians in Aleirave, who took the ferry there but never one out. Lahaira's not very large, so there's not that much infrastructure for new people coming in, but there are still certainly a few Martians there. Several of them work on or with the ferries that travel to the Martian territory in Anaia, so they're never really that far from Mars. The exact number is estimated at a couple hundred, definitely enough to notice but not a huge community by any means. Still, though, they're the first people newly minted expats ask for advice when they're moving out.
Eshialand
Now, for people who want actual cities but who don't have the desire and/or the money to travel much further, the second stop any Martian goes to is Eshialand. In fact, Eshialand City is home to more Martians than some of the northern bases. Like with most immigrant communities, the Martian population is concentrated in the large cities, and outside of Eshialand City most Martians live in the colder north, the climate being closer to home (indeed, our very own chess champion Eleanor Rigby once compared a cold snap in Vaynorth to a nice warm day in Borealis). Because of the economic opportunities provided in a society that has various amenities Mars doesn't - like cars and meat - this is where the largest Martian diaspora is, and with the trend of Martians heading to places where the Spiders compete in tournaments, it's only expected to increase after the Cup of Harmony.
Zwangzug
On the topic of Martians moving places after Cups of Harmony, this is a great example. It's unclear exactly how they got there, but a relatively significant (at least, relative to the population of Mars) number of Spiders fans just... stayed after the 92nd edition of this tournament. Although some of those left, searching for a land they'd heard of just like Mars named "Fenway" (or so they've been told), there are still a couple thousand there, drawn by the carless society that's just as nerdy (though in different ways) as Mars.
Koroa City
It's the international city in Anaia. There are people from all over the region there, and the MIR certainly doesn't lack in that department. Possibly the most would-be entrepreneurs move there out of any country, pushed out of Mars by the rather socialistic economic system, although there are also plenty of wannabe diplomats and people who just wanted to live somewhere with better weather and better food. Algae gets boring after forty days, much less forty years, after all, no matter what seasonings you put on it.
South Newlandia
Newport also has good weather, and it's the place Martians have competed the most times - though in chess, not in football. That's a draw to a different group of people, who, along with those seeking good weather and those who aren't necessarily in the good graces of Martian law enforcement, make up one of the larger Martian diasporas outside of Anaia. As the place where the chess is played, Newport has the most Martians out of any city in the Esportivan nation, although there are quite a few in Elephant Valley as well.
The Kytler Peninsulae
The Zube diplomatic outpost is the only way Rushmori Martians can interact with the parentland (motherland? fatherland? it varies language-to-language), the other nations in that region not having sizable enough populations to warrant an officer in charge of that sort of interaction. Some come for the pleasant weather, others come to study sports science at the University of Zube, and a few come because it's quite far away from everywhere they've known (Sonnel is further, but who would want to live in Drawkland?). As previously mentioned, most of those Martians are in Zube, with a couple in Bay City and pretty much nobody anywhere else.

by **Eshialand** » Wed Jun 24, 2026 5:33 pm

MD2 cutoff

Teams in green have advanced to the Round of 16, teams in red cannot advance.

Group A
Eraman 0–2 Sel Appa
the Martian Independent Republic 0–3 Eastfield Lodge

Group A                             Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Eastfield Lodge                     2    2   0   0     8    0   +8     6
2 the Martian Independent Republic    2    1   0   1     2    4   −2     3
3 Sel Appa                            2    1   0   1     3    2   +1     3
4 Eraman                              2    0   0   2     0    7   −7     0

Group B
Kamijiro 1–3 Eriadni
Natkr 1–3 Myrtle Beach

Group B                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Eriadni                 2    2   0   0     6    2   +4     6
2 Kamijiro                2    1   0   1     4    3   +1     3
3 Myrtle Beach            2    1   0   1     3    4   −1     3
4 Natkr                   2    0   0   2     2    6   −4     0

Group C
The Ko-orenite Constellation 2–0 Delaclava
Hamborn 0–3 Solgavden

Group C                         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Solgavden                       2    2   0   0     5    0   +5     6
2 The Ko-orenite Constellation    2    1   0   1     2    2    0     3
3 Hamborn                         2    1   0   1     3    4   −1     3
4 Delaclava                       2    0   0   2     1    5   −4     0

Group D
Katzeburg 4–0 Libegeist
Calgasia 0–7 Atheara

Group D                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Katzeburg               2    2   0   0     6    0   +6     6
2 Atheara                 2    1   0   1     7    2   +5     3
3 Calgasia                2    1   0   1     4    7   −3     3
4 Libegeist               2    0   0   2     0    8   −8     0

Group E
Saterun 2–0 Airannia
Taeshan 1–5 Carpathia and Ruthenia

Group E                   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Saterun                   2    2   0   0     4    0   +4     6
2 Carpathia and Ruthenia    2    1   0   1     5    3   +2     3
3 Airannia                  2    1   0   1     4    2   +2     3
4 Taeshan                   2    0   0   2     1    9   −8     0

Group F
Megistos 1–3 Saperetia
Milchama 0–1 Kelssek

Group F                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Kelssek                 2    2   0   0     5    2   +3     6
2 Saperetia               2    2   0   0     4    1   +3     6
3 Milchama                2    0   0   2     0    2   −2     0
4 Megistos                2    0   0   2     3    7   −4     0

Group G
Warkus 1–2 The Republic of the United Marble Tribes
Zwangzug 6–0 Aamathyr

Group G                                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Zwangzug                                    2    2   0   0     7    0   +7     6
2 The Republic of the United Marble Tribes    2    1   0   1     2    2    0     3
3 Warkus                                      2    1   0   1     5    2   +3     3
4 Aamathyr                                    2    0   0   2     0   10  −10     0

by **Libegeist** » Wed Jun 24, 2026 5:37 pm

OOC: A little late to get something in, but Libegeist is once again continuing the tradition of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles: Neo-America

Play music.

Nothing to do for a while.

A group of friends sitting silently at a beautiful garden, being on their smartphones and looking at their own screens. An awkward period of silence. Someone had to speak up.

"When is Levin going to show up? He's supposed to get the tickets for the games." someone asked among the group, while they were checking the time on their phone.
"He's probably over there still at that skin care lab that he works at." another suggested.
"I think I saw him by the market with Rodney."

"Rodney? He's back in town?" Someone else piped up.

"Oh yeah. Him and Levin were over at the marketplace by the produce. They been going around with a new video camera and just filming anything."

By the time that Levin arrived with the rental van, he was already showing off his new video camera to take footage of the trip. His friends were considerate to not have him film everything. It was until the van dropped them off at the parking garage at the airport was when he had his camera up again. He was getting footage of anything that strike him fancy. Even from when he was checking the flight schedule boards from the overhead.

Eventually, the footage that he had was ending when him and his friends were getting comfortable in their seats on the airplane. It was going to take a while to see a soccer match, but the simple memories can be treasured ones.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles: Aquarius Hotel and Casino Resort

Play music.

"You got the camera?" he asks you. You haul the camera, holding up as you go up the escalator. You make sure to not strain your shoulders. You saw the bright billboard for the Aquarius Hotel and Casino Resort on your train ride over here. Your boss wants you to be here with him to do some nature filming of some of the rock formations that happen to be within the vicinity. Even from the hot springs that some of the guests use. Nature documentary, he says.

You arrive at a good distance from a natural rock bridge that is made of sandstone. Your eyes goes towards one of the hot springs nearby. You can see the steam emitting from them.

You see her.

In a swimsuit, predictably. The hot springs are meant to be safe to swim in. Your eyes drift briefly to her, before you are snapped back to reality by your boss, when he has you set up the camera.

"You're even listening?"

"Hang on, I'm getting it up!" you say to him. You keep the camera aimed at him, while keeping the natural sandstorm bridge visible in the background.

"Ok. We're rolling." you give him permission to speak.
"How are we doing on audio?"
"Audio is fine, sir."

"Alright..." he clears his throat. He tries to get that documentarian voice up. He looks nothing like a historian, but you still admire his audacity. "The grounds of Aquarius are known for its numerous endeavors in esoteric structures, usually made by nature than by human hands. In the distance that you see here," you had the camera zoom up to the sandstone bridge, "you can see what is known as the 'Natural Bridge' by several of the locals here. Before we can get closer towards the bridge, it is best to describe how the process of water has eroded the rock, while keeping itself nestled within the limestone-"

It wasn't until one of the "locals" suddenly grabbed the camera that was set up and threw it straight down onto the ground. Even you were caught off-guard.

"Hey?! HEY! What's the hell your problem?" your boss naturally is upset, but the local suddenly shoves you two back.
"Urbanite! We don't want your kind here to lead more posers here!" the local had said, but the two of you aren't tolerating it.
"This resort needs people here to get it to thrive, you hypocrite!"
"Insolent mainstreamers!"

You can't recall much, other than security from the nearby hotel had to get involved to break up the fight. Your boss had the filming permit ready and the Aquarius did promise to pay for damages. You still insist that you stay inside of the hotel for the time being.

The two of you share drinks at the Luminescence bar that was inside of the hotel and casino. Tables that were looking like bioluminescent sea slugs, glowing under the UV lights. White wire-basket chairs with orange and green lights around. You were drinking a beer, to which has been a popular staple for the hotel and casino, since they no longer had to go through law loopholes to not deal with prohibition.

"Who does that hipster think he is? He doesn't even dress like a frickin' hippie around these parts! We're the ones that's bringing the folks over here!" your boss complains, after he orders himself an expensive looking cocktail.

"Maybe they think of us as non-counter-cultural?"

"Non-counter-cultural, my ass! I dealt with those types of s###birds before back at Seacraft. They just enjoy judging everyone. That's all they do for a living!" your boss mentions, though your eyes drift towards another table. The woman from the hot springs was there. She was seeing your boss's outburst as a spectacle. Your eyes lock with her with interest.

by **Hamborn** » Thu Jun 25, 2026 2:03 am

Hamborn loses 3 nil against Solgdaven

Sadly, the Hambornian players losed 3-0 meaning that they're now 3rd of their group meaing a potential disqualification if they don't win !

Let review the qualification condition :

-Win against Ko-orenite constellation

or

-Draw against Ko-Orenite constellation
- Other third loses their final matches.

If Hamborn loses they can't reach round of 16.

Hamborn - Solgdaven :

0' Solgdaven start the match by kickking the ball.

30' Bilo Nosinto loses the ball Ossler takes the ball shot in the left corner and... 0-1 for Solgdaven !

45+6' First half just ended, Hamborn already loses in this Matchday !

65' The tackle of Arlemus in their penalty zone is bad and penalty kick for Solgdaven !

66' Tennefjord will shoot this penalty kick and goal... 0-2 for Solgdaven Hamborn had now a GD of 0.

90+1' Mishra attempt a long shot in the penalty box entry and it enters ! 0-3 for Hamborn

90+3' It just ended and Hamborn had failed their match but are still 2nd as the match Ko-orenite - Delaclava will start soon !

And after Ko-orenite constellation won 2-0 meaning that Hamborn is 3rd by the tie breaker.

by **Saperetia** » Thu Jun 25, 2026 8:15 am

The Central Chronicle
---------------------------
Win against Megistos, Advancement Into Knockouts
Megistos 1-3 Saperetia

The previous upset 1-0 win using "park the bus" tactics may have been a tad bit controversial, but the important thing was that it worked. Through the threats, statements, weird tactics and vehicles, three points were gained, and if things go the right way, we may confirm a place in the knockouts for our team right after this matchday. The SFF allegedly released a statement on this matter, and "allegedly" not because we don't know who released a statement, but because their statement has been so cryptically encrypted that no-one has been able to decrypt it yet. Readers are free to attempt to decrypt the message and to send the answer to us by telegram. While the SFF was doing this, fans and the team looked forward to the second match of the cup, against Megistos, the only team in our group ranked lower than us. While fans are hoping for a win, looking back at the recent qualifiers may present a worrying trend, as our record against lower-ranked teams is only 2-2-2, including a loss to one unranked team in the Allamunnic States, while immediately afterwards going on and beating rank 32 Eshialand. Somehow. Twice. Somehow. The fans in the stadium missed the transition from the television network to the game as they showed the two lineups from the two teams on screen, the SAP 4-3-3 going up against the MEG 4-2-3-1:

Saperetia: GK Hranislav (C) DEF O'Connel, Carloza, Damjan, Simmage MID Hardin, Inget, Shah ATK Jacques, Seppel, Friedhelm-Rodolf

Megistos: GK Octavius DEF Aris, Varon, Lin, Bastien MID-DEF Dubois, Kosta MID-ATK Makris, Galen (C), Rouvas ATK Vellas

Megistos wrote:Megistos does not simply park the bus.

Well, Saperetia does, and the differing tactics between the two teams was clearly seen in the first twenty-five minutes of football. While the crimson went ahead an got an astonishing 0 shots, the Megistians got a fair few chances past the defensive line and onto goal, only for Hranislav to stop the ball each time. It seemed inevitable that they were to get the first goal, bar some unlikely event or the Megistians simply... giving up. Surprisingly, what caused the first goal, was both. Kind of. You see, in the previous match between Megistos and Kelssek, they both observed the "~~It is an ad break but we are going to call it a~~ Hydration Break ~~because that makes us seem like the good guys~~" like you are supposed to. Those who watched the Milchama-Saperetia matchup know that it went slightly differently over there. Those two ideas clashed here, as as the referee signaled for the teams to go off the pitch, the Megistians followed the orders but before they were fully off the Saperetians took the throw in, headed for the empty net, and had Seppel slot it in before Octavius could slide back to the goal. This then created an argument between the Saperetians, arguing that it was a legal goal because the Megistians hadn't walked fully off the pitch yet and to see the game against Milchama, the Megistians, arguing that it was not a legal goal because the referees has signaled for the "~~AAADDDSSS~~ Hydration Break ~~#AD~~" to be performed and that as compensation for this outrageous violation by the Saperetians they should get a goal instead, and the referees, who were frantically scouring their handbook for what to do in such a situation. Eventually, they came to a solution that according to them, satisfied both requests: The goal would stand, but a compensatory goal was to be awarded to Megistos. Vellas was allowed to kick the ball straight from the takeoff into the net, equalising the game through controversial means. Despite satisfying the requests of both teams, it did not satisfy either team, but the referees told both that if they wanted to argue using technicalities, then the referees were allowed to referee using technicalities. Despite the angerment of both teams, the match resumed, with the frustration showing in the quality of the chances in the match (read: Megistos attacking the park-the-bus Saperetian defence) decreasing. As half-time drew near, the attacks wound down as both teams prepared to clear their heads from the incident.

At half time, fans wondered whether Silivia would bring back the 6-3-0-1 from the previous match, but despite the playstyle so far, he instead opted to switch out a couple forwards for forwards. Novel idea. Friedhelm-Rodolf and Hardin came off for Seppo and Gil, signaling an intent to perhaps start playing attack. Finally, just two minutes into the second half, the sub Seppo ran down the right wing and crossed it to Seppel, who managed to get a shot off that this time did not go over the sideline. It did go over the bar by far and to the side, but it was still improvement from last time round. And an improvement from the first half, as The Crimsonites finally had a shot on the board. The first twenty minutes went by as a now relatively equal match, with both sides having chances now thanks to the Saperetians having moved the bus. But when the referees signaled for the second "~~BUY OUR PRODUCT NOW~~ Hydration Break ~~Powered By Product(tm)~~", the Megistians ran off the pitch to try and get off before the Saperetians could get a strike against, but a straggler remained on the pitch as Seppo powered one into the empty net from just outside the box. This re-opened the arguments from last time around, but the referees did not take suggestions; a compensatory goal it was. Except, when Vellas took the shot this time, Hranislav saved it before sending it down the field to Shah, who volleyed it from halfway inside the Megistos half into the net, past a confused Octavius. The midfielder immediately ran to the referees before explaining that they had no power to award "compensatory goals" and therefore, the ball was in play after the kickoff and therefore, both goals should stand. The Megistians told the referees to "use common sense and disallow both goals", but the official, confused as all heck by the entire ordeal, pointed to the centre circle, solidifying the score as 3-1 for the Saperetians. This enraged Varon, who immediately ran onto the pitch to argue with the referee, but only managed to get himself sent to the stands, while Hranislav and Shah stood together trying to figure out how the fuck their scheme managed to work. Silivia, at this point confused about who what where how and when, subbed off Hranislav for Nord and Shah for Dirtwizard to prevent them from being targeted by the opposition for red card or injuries, not realizing he had accidentally put an outfielder in goal and a goalkeeper in midfield. Despite this mishap, the Megistians were so tilted at the referees that they more or less tried to "accidentally" injure them for the remainder of the game, as the few chances they had were shot off into row Z at this point. Immediately upon the arrival of injury time, despite the fourth official trying to show a couple minutes of additional time, the main official saw it as enough and ended the game with a 3-1 victory for the crimson.

The fans, both in the stadium and watching back at home, had a mixture of confusion and elation at the result. News coming in from the other match in our group meant that we were secure of a top 2 spot and as such, of advancement into the knockouts. On the other side was this game. Nobody knew whether this was good or even legal, but the score said 3-1 so what had they to argue? Silivia and his men gave a small gesture to the traveling fans before quickly boarding the actual team bus and heading back to the Snowflake Hotel to barricade themselves against whatever may come their way. It was good that the final group game was here in Vaynorth, that meant they wouldn't have to leave until the day of the game, when hopefully everything has died down. The SFF did not make the situation any better by forgetting to turn off their scheduled "good game" post about the game, enraging neutral and opposition supporters alike over the disrespect. While people should have been focusing on the upcoming match against Kelssek for the group win, that went on the back burner. The only 27 people who looked forwards to the match were the squad and staff, barricaded in the hotel and waiting to come out.

by **The Ko-orenite Constellation** » Thu Jun 25, 2026 8:19 am

The Constellation: A Passport

The Constellation, formally 'Ko-orenite Constellation', is a intergovernmental union of territories. Combined, its population stands at 29.2 million people, comparable to Ko-oren, and a GDP valued 15% below Ko-oren's. Established by treaties, the Constellation was founded by Ko-oren by finding likeminded meritocratic, ecological, peaceful, and social territories. The treaties govern the extent to which the Constellation works together, and the Treaty of Dhidiyah created the Constellation as one political union, with transparent and shared goals, and the transfer of a modicum of sovereignty to the Constellation. While not strictly an economic union or forum, and while the union wasn't founded on economic grounds, territories have found each other as willing trade partners.

The Constellation includes a broad range of cultures, climates, and economies. The economies range from developed territories such as Mercatoren to emerging and developing economies such as those of Isidoren, Tonboren, and Arhoren. The member states often do not border each other and may be separated by hours, if not days, of travel. Sports are one shared cultural expression that has proven worthwhile from both a bottom-up and a top-down perspective in building awareness and positive views of the union.

Politically, the Constellation allows its member states to pursue their own economic, defence, and foreign policies. The union handles inter-Constellation disputes and agreements, and has created a forum for trade talks, sharing research and development, and finding where territories' economic strenghts' lie and where other territories might find and use those. Further powers of the union will be decided in future treaties. Treaties to date have been focused on starting up basic functionalities, while interactions between national and supranational legislation has not been explored yet.

The Irithoreni capital of Dhidiyah functions as de facto Constellation capital city, where most of its political offices are located. The Constellation pursues a policy of sharing other functions across member states.

The Constellation sets itself apart with its low-threshold way of including new member states. This has allowed the union to grow from 4 to 31 (current) member states in two decades. Ko-oren is not a member state of the union; formally, the Constellation has revoked all ties with Ko-oren politically, though the two find each other on meritocratic, ecological, peaceful, and social areas, so both still often operate together in economic, political, and academic ways.

Sports in the Constellation

Of the 31 member states, 24 have a (semi-)professional football (soccer) league, making it the most popular sport in the Constellation. Distinct second and third are rugby union (9) and ice hockey (6). Other team sports with strong (semi-)professional leagues include cricket (5), basketball (5), rugby league (5) and field hockey (4). On top of that, sailing, cycling, tennis are in a shared system with Ko-oren, which organises tournaments mostly in Ko-oren but occasionally finds itself in the Constellation.

The biggest success story from the Constellation is its E-Series, a open wheel racing single-seater motorsport championship for electric cars, where research breakthroughs from around the Constellation find each other in a single series. Territories with significant car manufacturers tend to have a team, but technology from all over the union is used to create this series.

Football (soccer) is governed by the AFC from Meia-Armadoren. Soon to be organised championships in rugby union and ice hockey will be governed by associations in Aymenoughshire-about-Oren, and Tarören, respectively.

by **Saterun** » Thu Jun 25, 2026 1:41 pm

Edvin watched from the sidelines as the Claws of Saterun closed out another 2-0 victory, this time against Airannia. It had been a pretty dominant display, as the Claws had held 68% possession with 10 shots. The real star of the show, through both this game and their earlier opener against Carpathia and Ruthenia, had been the defense. Not since the 20th IAC had Saterun had a truly remarkable defense, but they still hadn't conceded after two games in this tournament. They had also gotten their two most difficult matches out of the way, and had secured qualification and the top group stage spot by virtue of head-to-head results. Next, they'd face Taeshan, who were already eliminated with nothing left to play for. Similarly to their final group stage game against Snestar last cycle, Edvin and the rest of the team expected heavy rotation from Handrix, as he prepared for a stacked knockout round.

However, Edvin would consider himself lucky if he ended up playing at all. The bruise from two nights ago was still heavily visible on his left cheek, and although Handrix claimed to be keeping him out for "safety", Edvin suspected it was more to do with sending a message about player conduct. On one hand, he got what Handrix was saying. They were guests in a foreign country, and going around fighting the locals was not the best way to show their appreciation. However, on the other hand, Handrix would have to play him sooner or later. Although the two starters, Vidar Washington and Oscar Carlisle, were very good, the national team had almost no depth beyond that in the central midfield. That was why Edvin had been called up in the first place. Maybe if he just made sure to train hard, he'd be able to get some minutes soon.

If Handrix was mad at him, he sure didn't show it. To celebrate clinching the group with a match to spare, the team were once again going out to downtown Eshialand City. They luckily got to stay there for the rest of the group stage, at least, and after the shenanigans that it took just to get the Saterun squad into the country Edvin was quite glad they got to stay put. For today's teambuilding activity, it seemed as though Handrix wanted to rebuild the Claws' image in the minds of the locals. Edvin was 99% sure that no one else had noticed the fight, especially not the locals of the city, but Handrix seemed to think that everyone hated them now. In order to rebuild that bridge, he'd taken them to a local athletic club, of sorts. It had an indoor football field, as well as two basketball courts, a bowling alley, and arcade games. Safe to say the handful of locals there were shocked when they saw the 28-man Saterun squad shuffle in.

The players quickly split up into groups. Bowling had been what had first caught Edvin's eye, so he decided to try a game with Aleksander, Max, and Kenji. Little did they know that Edvin had actually competed in bowling leagues as a kid, and that was something you never lost. He absolutely pummeled them, and the game was out of reach by just the seventh bowl. He was way better at this than laser tag. However, they were all terrible sports, and didn't seem interested in playing another game. That's when Edvin decided to go get some refreshments. They were serving this strange energy drink from Sel Appa. Turtlejuice? Tortioseade? Something along those lines. As he was grabbing a bottle from the counter, he saw the girl behind it scribble something on the bottle. Not wanting to be too obvious, he walked a bit aways before checking what she'd written down.

As he was trying to decipher the characters, Dylan grabbed it out of his hands. "Little Eddy got a number, huh? Good job kid. Let's see. What the hell does this say?" Edvin grabbed it back. It wasn't written for Dylan, after all. But he did have a point. The best that Edvin could tell, it was some kind of puzzle. There were numbers, but not in any pattern that resembled a phone number. And they were arranged in squares. Very confusing. But, of course, he couldn't just ask her. "That would be lame." Thanks, Dylan. He'd have to figure this one out himself. But he'd have to find someone a bit brighter than his current companion. He searched around for a bit, before locating Drahomir. The Ajac defender had had perfect grades in primary school, and if anyone was going to help him figure it out, it was Drahomir. Just as Edvin was about to pose the question, a loud noise rang through the building. A second later, the burning smell of smoke hit his nose.

by **Kelssek** » Thu Jun 25, 2026 4:53 pm

None of the players could understand quite why the referees were so insistent they drink so much water, but Kelssek’s medical staff were doing their best. Artemios Ostend protested as one the team’s athletic therapy assistants, holding a bucket of water, told him to lie down. “I don’t need more hydration. I drank literally a litre just before...”

“Relax, This is how we used to do it back when I worked for the prisons service, until the High Court ruled holding down people and pouring water on their face was a form of torture,” volunteered the assistant. “It’s not exactly the same treatment, of course, just don’t go upside down.”

For their part, Medyson Consðntin was also very hydrated, even feeling a little sick trying to get down the flank with the amount of hydration they’d done. But Milchama were just as bloated and sluggish, so it was fair. Medyson beat his defender down the byline and found a teammate arriving in the box. Bread and butter for Rolando Cutter as the striker nestled it into the net.

KELSSEK 1 – Cutter (24’)
Tessier, Casiraghi, Hupe, Cleeves, Cantwell, Pogbacar (Licea 73’), Métisser, Ostend, Consðntin (Obident 77’), Cutter (Gosling 89’), Niemi (Teokotai 77’)
MILCHAMA 0

by **IA3x** » Thu Jun 25, 2026 11:01 pm

At first, he was going to stick with the current tactics Atheara had. That was quite literally what he told himself when he first saw the reassigned formation on the whiteboard.

At first, he was going to ensure this team would play with what they currently have. The way that they currently do. Such a drastic tactical overhaul would be crippling to any team, especially for a team like The Blue Guard, which had a limited talent pool. A team that didn't have the right players for the job... At the end, he thought it was a stupid plan.

It was meant to be implemented for Athearas CAFA Campaign. But then he thought about it more, he dug into the extremities and mediocrities of whatever tactical set-up that would be employed. Mugel Krygorf, as he had told himself, was no tactical genius. When he first picked up the mantle to be Athearas manager, he wasn't even qualified to be one. He heard about his nation resurrecting itself from the dead, they offered him the job whilst he was retired in Farfadillis, and he took it like it would never come back.

From a back four to a back five, two forwards to one, the changes were all impulsive. Mugel knew that, and he knew that the team also knew that. But despite how absolutely stupid it was... It could work. Maybe. There was no guarantees, and when he forwarded it to Tedd, even he had no clue. When he forwarded it to the team, they were uncertain.

Of course they were uncertain. The matches against Calgasia and Libgeist were must wins. If Atheara lost any more points, that was it for their Cup of Harmony Campaign. But if the tactics were squeezed in to prepare for CAFA here, they might stand a chance later on. Even if they get knocked out in the group stages. It was an incredible gamble.

A gamble that the team was willing to take, exactly because it was Mugel who was leading The Blue Guard. Because they trust him, even if he doesn't trust himself.

Trust. Confidence. Belief. Things that he has been somewhat lacking ever since he picked up the managerial job. Maybe it was down to the fact that he was on the sidelines. That he wasn't leading the team through direct actions that made him have less trust. Perhaps it was the fact that he had been away from football for so long. No matter.

Atheara lined up in that accursed idea of a 5-2-3 against Calgasias Black Eagles. Horzabath would be in net. A back five from right to left consisting of Mitaloza, Dishwasher, Ikstowaris, Vertagne, and Moore. A midfield partnership of Tori and Harnotawski. Foyer on the right, Falharask on the left, and Iltchoporsk as the lone forward. Unorthodox. Unnatural.

And yet this exact abnormality would result in one of The Blue Guards biggest thrashings. Calgasia would not score a single goal. Atheara scored seven, featuring a Iltchoporsk hat-trick. Foyer and Falharask got a goal, same with Tori. The last goal came from a substituted Henzler-Elmarn. This team was able to be strong on both defense and offense.

The fullbacks going forward, either drifting inside or staying wide on the offense transformed Atheara into a team that played a 3-4-3. But on the defense, the fullbacks go back and maintain position to keep the steady 5-2-3 to soak up pressure. Of course, this would require incredible physicality and many of those on the team needed to develop more technical skills. And Mugel knew the flaws of this plan. The fullbacks could get exhausted and the wings may be overrun. So he made adjustments to ensure that doesn't happen.

The wingers would also have to run back for defense. He ordered that whoever played on the wings, all of them would have to drop back for the defense. This would mean every wide player needed incredible stamina and physicality, but that could be worked on. The extra personnel on defense would be a lifesaver, even if it sacrificed offensive firepower. But that didn't happen in this match, and if it worked against a team as class as Calgasia, perhaps it can work against other nations. Surely it can.

Libegeist will be an interesting test for this system. Whether it fails or works against them, the gap between the Cup of Harmony and CAFA would be enough to iron things out.

MATCH RESULT: Calgasia 0 - 7 Atheara (Zarbir Iltchoporsk 14', 44', 61'; Elkan Foyer 29'; Viviana Falharask 50'; Krisseo Tori 78'; Wald Henzler-Elmarn 90')
LINE-UP v Libegeist (5-2-3, R to L)
Horzabath; Bergrad, Dishwasher, Harpwell, Ikstowaris, Sakaturi; Harnotawski, Duncace; Van Royen, Iltchoporsk, Skophelski

by **Katzeburg** » Fri Jun 26, 2026 5:18 am

Katzeburg 4-0 Libegeist
Chaplin 16', 37', Hershey 41', Marsh 85'

1 Beauden Moore, 2 Katharine Howland, 3 Prudence Deering, 4 Ezekiel Hodges (Monday Mynatt 65'), 5 Eva Badcock, 6 Serena Plank (Desiree Lynton 65'), 7 Babe Barr, 8 Gwen Sessions, 9 Petra Moores, 10 Walton Hershey (Clay Marsh 65'), 11 Brianne Chaplin

Possession - 70% / 30%
Shots - 16 / 4
Shots on Target - 10 / 1
Fouls - 8 / 13

The below is an excerpt from leading Katzeburgian television publication Broadcast Weekly.

When Class of AK4 was renewed for a second season by KatzeTV, the renewal - itself only four episodes compared to the original 13 of the first - came with a number of tight strings by which the production needed to abide. Despite the critical acclaim, executives lay the blame for the declining ratings solely at the door of its visual aesthetic and overarching structure. The same hurdles that took out The Undergraduates decades earlier again came for Class of AK4, but this time the creative team was open to adaptation.

"We knew we had something in the show itself, but the network was deep in a battle trying to chase down KBC in the ratings," original showrunner Barry Fontana told us. "They wanted something flashy and trendy which drew viewers in through gimmicks rather than entertaining them with a good story. In retrospect, that initial renewal was the beginning of the end for the core of Class of AK4 in my mind."

Gone was the cosy filming aesthetic and blocking that the show had cultivated over its first season, with bigger showpieces being shoehorned in to fulfil the viewers need for something of interest instead. The overlapping plotlines in each episode - at times stretching three or four plots across the course of an hour with deft balance and ensuring each member of the cast got to shine - was out; a single plotline the new line in the sand as KatzeTV viewed the original structure as 'too dense' for a new viewer to understand.

But one of the biggest changes would be in the cast itself. The first season had already seen some shakeups in the departure of Idella Frei's Ella Masterson and Leon Terry's Aston Sorge being literally put on a bus out of town in one of the season's final episodes - but KatzeTV pushed even further with the second season; while breakout character Marcus Johansen (Daniel Guttenberg) would step up to a main role for the second run, a mix of new main and recurring characters would be introduced in the first episode of the second season, 'All The Leaves Are Brown', which picked up right after the events of the first season finale 'See You Next Fall'.

Joining now sophomore student Ingrid Royce (Audrey Sheparton) was the Walker Twins - Adam and Andrew, both played by Rory McInnes - sophomore twins who move into the hall opposite Ingrid and vie for the affection of Ingrid over the course of the second season. A new roommate was also on the docket, played by future A-lister Lisa Jorens in her first television role; as Denise Thorns, she'd be a figurative thorn in the side of Ingrid with ulterior motives which were still to be made clear.

The second season would also see the first appearance of Professor Dirk Douglas (Hugh Manners), Ingrid's civil law professor who would go on to become a main character in his own right when the show returned for a third season. But despite the padded out cast, KatzeTV weren't done yet - insisting each episode has a high-profile guest star tied to it in a vain attempt to boost ratings regardless of plot coherence.

"I remember getting a call from Max [Archer, the KatzeTV executive in charge of drama commissioning] at the network as we were finishing off the writing for the final episode of the season, and he tells me 'we managed to get Henry Williams to come on and do a role.' I go - Henry Williams? The comedy actor? Why would he be keen to come on a drama? And Max goes 'he's looking to expand his range - plus think of the ratings draw we'd get from it.' I try to politely decline, but at that point I had no say. Henry was coming on regardless of whether I tried to stop it or not."

Williams would indeed guest star in the final episode of season two, 'Summer Heat', in which he played the Vice Dean of the University, Anders Bloom, who oversaw the university commission review into Ingrid's alleged plagiarism, culminating in her expulsion from the university. The writing would do well to on paper navigate the casting, and to much of the writers' room surprise, when Williams arrived on set he quite passionately argued on behalf of the writers to cut out jokes intended for his character - Dean Bloom, he argued, was not a man who utilised humour to get his way.

Critically, Williams was hailed for his performance in the episode, with many noting the fine balance he played between strict and authoritarian against the welcoming façade he put on in front of the campus population, and it would ultimately earn him a Boxie for Outstanding Guest Star in a Drama Series.

However, the episode would spell part of the core issue at the heart of the second season - a heavy focus on ratings and pizazz above all else. Season two was structured based on the seasons, with 'All The Leaves Are Brown' to start the season and run through Winter, Spring, and Summer in that order. However, KatzeTV were so impressed with Williams' performance they demanded the episode air first in the run, so as to catch the highest possible audience. This of course, would destroy the narrative arc of the second season, with fans confused as to why Ingrid was now facing expulsion from university after the first season finale gave no indication of that.

"We were already operating under huge pressure," Sheparton said years later. "The four episode run was essentially a second pilot - the network wondering if we could actually do it again. To be on the air for one month leaves no margin for error, and to kick things off with the finale? It made no sense to any of us in the cast or crew."

But KatzeTV were at least willing to bat for the show a little, despite the reduced order. Given the number of high-profile shows which left the air the previous season (which in part led to the show being renewed in the first place), the show would be moved to a 10pm Monday timeslot and would indeed act as a mid-season replacement from veteran medical drama Axmund General, which was viewed by many entertainment journalists as the network testing the waters to see if it could out-compete the flagging series and justify a cancellation.

When season two of Class of AK4 went to air in early AK2, critical reviews remained strong as the show managed to nail the landing from the first season despite the shuffling of episode order. This own outlet called the season a 'resounding success which builds on every element of the first season and delivers a high quality show almost in spite of the clear changes forced by the network' and the combination of heavy promotion into the series (especially around Williams' guest role) meant that the first episode would be seen by 6 million (or around 40 percent of all televisions in Katzeburg at the time) - a huge leap from the 750,000 viewers which saw the season one finale and winning the timeslot for the first time in the programme's history.

While ratings for the rest of the season would drop off - the final episode aired (the third in production order) saw 2.5 million viewers - the show not only significantly outperformed its first season run, but also the current run of Axmund General in the same timeslot. While Archer would play down the fact that for Class of AK4 to live, Axmund General must be sent to the morgue, that would ultimately be what happened at the end of the season, with Class of AK4 given a 13 episode third season order, and Axmund General cancelled after six seasons on air.

It's hard to ascertain whether it was the change in timeslot, the promotion, or the significant changes to the show which saw ratings rise to a level the show could survive on air - but one thing was for certain; the changes had landed, and KatzeTV was only going to push the boundaries further when the show returned for its junior season.

Blue Cats into knockouts with dominating win over Libegeist

By Otis Huffman, KBC

Katzeburg have punched their ticket into the final 16 of the Cup of Harmony as the side saw off a quiet Libegeist side at Dragon Park in Frjálshöfn with an emphatic 4-0 win.

The Blue Cats kept up the good form of their opening day win over Atheara in the early stages of the bout, with Brianne Chaplin opening the scoring in the 16th minute through a tidy header off a Petra Moores cross. The Moores/Chaplin partnership would again be a boost for the side just over twenty minutes later as a skidding low cross into the box would find the path of the New Newetoun Saltquarry striker, burying the loose ball into the bottom left corner to double Katzeburg's lead within the opening 40 minutes.

Not to be outdone, Walton Hershey continued his growth into the number 10 role with a goal of his own four minutes later, scooping up a wayward pass out of the Libegeist backline to send a speculative effort just to the right of keeper Tristan Carpenter and send Katzeburg into the half-time break with a comfy 3-0 lead.

The brakes would come on in the second 45, as Katzeburg dropped deep to retain possession and minimise any hopes of a Libegeist fightback - the side did find their way through in the 57th minute through a brilliant solo piece from Manual Lang, but the forward sent their final effort skidding straight into the path of a diving Beauden Moore.

The Blue Cats would tie the game off in the 85th minute through substitute Clay Marsh, making his return to the national team for the first time since Campionato Esportiva 39 and grabbing the chance with both hands - a looping header off a Eva Badcock cross giving Katzeburg their fourth, and punching their ticket through to the final 16.

"This was a statement win by the side," manager Becka Haberkorn told media after the game. "The team showed the clinical skill they needed to early on to put the game beyond any doubt, and then worked really well shutting up shop to restrict their chances and maintain that lead - a lot of what we have been working out on the training pitch shone through in the end.

"It's a further boost of confidence for this squad, this team - there was a lot of noise about the side being young and inexperienced heading into a competition this prestigious, but that hunger I talked about last game was still there today; these players are fighting for the shirt at a time where the footballing heart of this nation needs people to fight for it and for that I'm incredibly proud of the entire team."

With Katzeburg already through to the knockouts, the side may take the chance to rotate a little through the team as they take on Calgasia in the final matchday at Sunset Coast Arena in Bezbenpam. But Der Adler will be itching to set the record straight after they collapsed from making the knockouts on their own in a shock 7-0 thumping by Atheara; with a handful of knockout spots open to sides finishing third, Calgasia will be hoping to pull a win together which will send the side through as a top two team instead.

by **Zwangzug** » Fri Jun 26, 2026 6:01 am

Sometimes we feel as if we're made of glass.
When other people banter and discuss
ideas they might like seeing come to pass,
our instinct is to say "What about us?
We've said as much before. Were we too subtle?"
But then they'd just say: "Yes, we didn't pay
attention," and we can make no rebuttal.
It's not like they care what we have to say.

So then we tell ourselves: were we a stone,
opaque and giant, unable to miss,
fairness demands it not be us alone.
Everyone could be as stony as this.
The world would be a maze of frigid rocks.
You could not move, you could not even see
beyond the confines of a tiny box
ringed round by giants. You could not be free.

Better, we tell ourselves, to be ignored,
inscrutable, transparent as the ice,
than seek attention, insecure, abhorred.
We can accept that much. It's worth the price.

(Rhiannon 12, 68; Lavrans 15, 31, 87; Gerdt-Arbden 45+3)

by **Carpathia and Ruthenia** » Fri Jun 26, 2026 12:25 pm

Five star performance against Taeshan

Well if you were wondering where our goals have been of late, seems like we were saving them for this match, why save them against Taeshan who'd already suffered a four goal loss in the opening match who can say, perhaps a hidden rivalry passed through the generations stinging from the two goal loss to Taeshan over one hundred and twenty-six years ago. Whatever the case, secret blood feud or not, we certainly added to Taeshan's misery this tournament, a simple loss would have been enough for them to be eliminated however they site in rock bottom with a negative eight goal difference and a final match against defending champions Saterun who dispatched Airannia with another comfortable two-nothing victory. Perhaps Saterun will be kind on them and rest players before the knockout stages, as certainly were not slicing up the Taeshan defence and making look like Swiss cheese.

We said last time we hoped that we'd start the first half of this match with the temperament we came into the second half of the match against Saterun and we weren't dissapointed. High pressure immediately out of the gate caught the Taeshan defence napping with Fedoryshyn slamming home a goal to open the scoreline. Coming into the second half already three-nill up we didn't take our foot off the gas, encouring signs showing the hunger is still there. Most encourging of all is seeing the team in sync, anticipating passes, making runs and balls being laid off instead of solo glory hunting, our fifth goal being a prime example with Addis sacrificing the chance for their own hatrrick to lay off to Fedoryshyn so they could secure their own hattrick.

Hopefully we can take this momentum and hunger into our game against Airannia, a win will secure our passage to the knockouts, if we lose then our fate will be left up to other teams. We've been here many times before needing a win to secure progression and we've gained somewhat of a reputation as bottle merchants, but we should go into this game with our heads held high and I think we've got a good chance to start getting rid of that reputation.

By Margita Ongaro
CBC Ruthenia

by **Sel Appa** » Fri Jun 26, 2026 12:27 pm

"...and the Turtles come away with a win in Kwrpania against Eraman, but that was expected. The real toughie is ahead against top-ranked Eastfield Lodge, who are having a better show than they did in qualifiers, with 2 wins and 8 unanswered goals. Sel Appa remain in third place in the third place rankings, now behind Warkus and Airannia, out by a goal. Warkus play the high ranked Zwangzug side and Airannia play Carpathia and Ruthenia, also a decent side. A win with one or both losing and no one else winning by more than two would put the team thru. A draw makes things tougher, and a loss even moreso, unless the other teams lose worse."

* * * STATIC * * *

Mad Mike and Joe in the Morning!

Joe: Alright, this is Mad Mike and Joe in the morning. Im here with the shiny head. Lets talk Cup of Harmony.

Mike: Very original, Joe. Very original.

Joe: Well someone has to be.

Mike: We know it aint you.

Joe: Aint me what?

Mike: So anyway, Cup of Harmony. This team is doing ok. Not what we wanted, but were here.

Joe: A win and a loss. And Eastfield Lodge is doing better than we thought.

Mike: Somehow they figured out how to win. Too bad they didnt figure that out in qualifiers.

Joe: Well, youre still figuring it out too, so I dont blame them.

Mike: Figuring out what, Joe?

Joe: You know.

Mike: No I dont know, Joe.

Joe: Well thats my point.

Mike: You dont have a point.

Joe: Youre right, I still have a hairline.

Mike: Oh twice in a show, you going for the record? Get some new material.

Joe: I have plenty of material.

Mike: Couldnt tell. Lets get it together, Joe.

Joe: This team needs to get it together.

Mike: Yea, we had a great run at Independents and now this. Its what we expect.

Joe: I still believe.

Mike: You have to, but I dont see it.

Joe: Come on, Mike. We arent even out. Were a goal under.

Mike: But this Lodgers team is doing great, they havent conceded a goal.

Joe: And theyre thru, so they will rest their starters. Mike, how are you a Turtles fan like this?

Mike: Youre delusional, Joe.

Joe: No Im not. It makes perfect sense.

Mike: It doesnt make any sense. We just have to accept another example of coming up short.

Joe: Mike, why are you even a fan of this team?

Mike: Because its my country, win or lose, but Im gonna be realistic. And youre out of your mind.

Joe: At least Im not in yours.

Mike: Sounds like you want to be.

Joe: Youre a creep.

Mike: This team needs to creep into the Round of 16.

Joe: Ok lets take calls. Who do we have the pleasure of speaking with? Well, I dont think Mike has any pleasure.

Caller 1: Kwang from Nemnenait. Even if we make the Knockouts, well be at the bottom of the seed. Thats Zwangzug or Katzeburg most likely.

Mike: See, Joe.

Joe: See what? We had the same situation at Independents.

Mike: No, we didnt Joe. We had 2 wins and a draw. We have a win and a loss.

Joe: So what, all that matters is getting thru. Then we go from there.

Mike: We arent going anywhere.

Joe: Yea thats why Im stuck on the radio with you.

Mike: You could get another job if you had any talent.

Joe: I have plenty of talent.

Mike: So why are you complaining?

Joe: Im not complaining. Youre here saying this team doesnt have a chance in hell.

Mike: Thats not what Im saying. Im saying Im not optimistic.

Joe: Mike, you know, youre a real piece of work.

Mike: Well I have to take all of this abuse from you.

Joe: Abuse? Oh please. Lets take another call.

Caller 2: Are you two married or something? Its Jimmy from Raxton.

Joe: Jimmy, hows it been, man? We havent heard from you in awhile. You get married yourself?

Caller 2: Haha, no. I just, I dont know. Time flies.

Joe: It does, especially when you work with a buffoon.

Mike: Its a wonder he gets up in the morning.

Joe: Mike is cranky, what do you have for us Jimmy?

Caller 2: Honestly, I think its great to be back at the Cup, but Mike is right. We have a cold chance at this, and its time to look ahead to where we do well.

Mike: Are you saying another Independents run? I still think we got lucky.

Joe: We didnt get lucky. Its a different environment. Independent Associations is a good group of people. We have a skilled team.

Mike: Ill believe it when I see it.

Joe: You might see it soon. I think we go thru.

Mike: Did you bet on it?

Joe: Of course I did, you know me.

Mike: Too many of us have that misfortune.

Joe: Well you seem to enjoy it.

Mike: I think we have time for one more call before the break. Whats your name, where ya callin from?

Caller 3: Katrine from Serpentville.

Joe: Oh Mike is gonna love this.

Caller 3: Haha, Im gonna go a different direction here. The Federation made a bid with Hamborn to host and we didnt get it obviously. Why do you think that was and could we host something? I think it would be good for the country.

Mike: Phew! I thought we had a Serpents fan for a minute. Thats a good one. I dont think we were ready. We have the infrastructure, but we are just getting back into the international football scene and no one knows who we are. You cant expect us to get much support.

Joe: Yea, I think we need to host something smaller as a promotional measure. But we have to make a name for ourselves.

Mike: And no one wants a host who cant qualify.

Joe: We can qualify.

Mike: But we didnt, Joe.

Joe: Not yet.

Mike: Well, were not gonna get considered until then. Why would anyone support a host who cant even make the tournament?

Joe: I havent said anything otherwise. I said we could qualify.

Mike: Joe, you havent said anything at all.

Joe: And we are at the break, well take more calls if Mike doesnt get lose.

* * * cuts to ads * * *

by **Milchama** » Fri Jun 26, 2026 1:06 pm

"We have to clear up something"

"What?"

"People seem to think we had hydration breaks in our games"

"Oh yeah we've never done that"

"Those are dumb for the weak"

"Yeah we are Warriors! And Warriors fight in sand, snow, sleet, cold, hot, etc. We don't stop, we just keep going, etc. All those things"

"Yeah that's the Milchamian ethos, what do you mean it's too hot? Just keep going, I mean you should get water but at an appropriate time"

"Yeah, we're not murderous or anything but clearly we would never have a pre-decided hydration break for ads"

"Yeah, we're a socialist country with clear communist leanings, anything capitalist sounds bad"

"I read my Marx, capitalism sucks"

"Precisely, the labor theory of value is absolutely true"

"All the time"

"Anyways, all the goals in this tournament for or against Milchama will only be scored during times that are impossible at the RL States World Cup."

"Why are we doing that?"

"Because it's funny"

"Oh that makes sense"

"So is that why Saperetia scored in the 24th minute and Kelssek also scored in the 24th minute?"

"Yes"

"So it has nothing to do with game states or anything like that"

"Correct, all the goals can only be scored in the 24th, 25th, 68th, or 69th minutes of a match for or against Milchama during this Cup of Harmony"

"Did we put that in the RP permissions?"

"No, I don't think anybody would have listened"

"Fair enough but we probably should"

"Meh, we'll just RP first and it'll be fine. It's worked the last two times"

"You literally have no idea if we beat Kelssek"

"Well we lost to Kelssek"

"I mean for RPing purposes"

"Yeah they scored in the 24th minute"

"Oh again? Another first half goal? So it goes"

"Unfortunate, I thought they scored in the second half"

"Apparently not"

"Oh well, hopefully, we'll do better next time"

"Yeah it'd be nice to score a goal"

"We could be like Calvert-Lewin!"

"Or Alan Shearer!"

"Or Marc J. Floren!"

"Or Simone di Bradini!"

"Or Tomasz Radsinski!"

"Him too"

"Anyways, that sounds good"

"How superstitious should we be?"

"I'm not feeling it"

"Fair enough"

by **Solgavden** » Fri Jun 26, 2026 1:35 pm

(en.rkt.com.sg/sport/articles/Oo842qncXd)

 RKT Sport

It's Official: Strömberg to Retire at End of Cup of Harmony
The Solgavish National Team will soon undergo massive change without Strömberg at the helm, who are the candidates to replace him?

By: Karolin Krogh

After more than 50 years of being a leading figure in Solgavish professional football, legendary player and coach Peter Strömberg has officially confirmed that he will retire after the end of the 93rd Cup of Harmony.

His impact on the Solgavish game cannot be understated, as his tactical genius earned him over 20 league titles as a player and a coach, and a well-deserved spot in the Solgavish Sports Hall of Fame after his last game. Strömberg's legacy is likely to be secure for years to come, as managers in the Kongensliga today emulate his style of play, including former assistants Emrik Clemensan and Walter Rothenberg, who both just won the league title and KH4 Cup respectively. After their failure to qualify for the 101st World Cup was clear, the Solgavish National Team has played with a fire that was surely missed during most of their campaign, even managing to beat Kelssek 2-1 during the RSFF 100th Anniversary Game, to the complete shock of most of those in attendance. De Rega Röda are now undefeated in the last six games they played, including two back-to-back clean sheet wins to open their Cup of Harmony campaign. With the National Team pool filled with talented players, now is a good time to consider what direction the RSFF might go in their search for a new manager.

To start off, the easiest choice would be to simply promote a manager already affiliated with the team, such as one of the assistant coaches. Anders Lyngstad would be the first choice as an obvious successor, as he has been by Strömberg's side for over two decades as an assistant, since their time at Rega Lysborg. But most sources close to the team question whether he'd even want the job, as his main focus over the past few years has been nuturing the next generation of Solgavish players, through his role as Director of Youth Development. Charlotte Erlandsan and Paul Ravn are also choices that make sense, with both of them being members of the staff since the 86th Baptism of Fire. Erlandsan would be an interesting pick for National Team manager, with her tactical genius being described as "otherworldly". But she doesn't have much experience managing an entire team, spending most of her career as an analyst before her current role. At the other end of the spectrum, Ravn's experience as a coach is extensive, with his main role being Walsbruck FK's manager, winning a Kongensliga title with the club a few years ago. He has close relationships with most of the players, but he isn't nearly as tactially sharp as Erlandsan, being known to act on emotion too frequently during matches. Last but not least, Nasir Bexell's career has had its ups and downs, but he looks to be on the rise again. In his first coaching job since being fired by AFC Norrvik, he lead the Solgavish U21s to the quarterfinals of the DiBradini Cup, with that team looking the strongest it's ever had. Bexell might be a breath of fresh air for a senior squad that is clearly talented, but has been known to underperform for their nation.
Of course, the RSFF isn't the only place a quality coach can be found, and there are plenty from the "Kongensliga recycling bin" who are itching to get a job once again. Theo Granath, once a celebrated player from the 2000s, is now out of a job once again, after a historically dogshit performance with Limmiera FC. Although the RSFF would be declared criminally insane for hiring him, it is true that Granath is still a well respected figure, especially to the players, and would have complete control of the locker room. On the flip side, Olve Petersan is a fan-favorite, known for his witty personality and near endless supply of iconic quotes and soundbites. As one of the most experienced coaches in the Kongensliga, Petersan will be the most prepared to take on a challenge like this, having the ability to win with a lot less. While not one with...well any managerial experience, Gunny Kristoffersan is a true wildcard for the federation to consider. Having recently retired as one of the country's most celebrated goalkeepers, a force between the posts for the National Team, Kristoffersan's resume as a player speaks for itself. "The Flying Viking" has recently accepted a position within the Rega Lysborg staff as a goalkeeping advisor, most likely to mentor the young Mat Lorenzen, yet an opportunity as Solgavden's top brass would surely be enticing to him as well.
Then again, who said that the Solgavish National Team manager had to be Solgavish? As Solgavden has reached out into the ether of the multiverse in recent years, there are sure to be an endless supply of quality international managers to take up the mantle of the National Team...for the right price. Roger Bernastrell is a name that might pop out for most fans, being the manager of the Bonusian side Inter Somorrosta, who employs two National Team members in its ranks (Aki Hagen and Josef Breiner). Bernastrell’s style of management would also suit the team, as Solgavden has prided themselves on the fluidity of their attack. Also from the Bonusian Primera Divisió, Emília Miravent is arguably its best manager, and someone who has won the league's most recent season (to the chagrin of Inter fans). Someone with her pedigree would be more than a worthy successor to Strömberg's legacy, and she could instill a culture of winning to the unambitious squad.

Whoever does take the job will have a lot on their plate, with the 26th Independent Associations Championship coming up, and Solgavden's faithful will expect a deep run in the tournament, compared to the uninspired performance the team showed in the previous edition of the competition, which was partially hosted in Solgavden.

by **Warkus** » Fri Jun 26, 2026 3:01 pm

The Warkus-Audioslavia Effect
by Thomas Blayney

International football is known for its strange, silly and specious statistics. Consider the Audioslavian Curse (or the Krytenian Curse, depending on who you ask), the Curse of Six and the Cabañas effect, just to name a few. Most of these recognised statistics are seen as curses: statistics showing nations being unlucky retrofitted to some gerrymandered ‘explanation’ of why and how they’re unlucky. But they’re not all curses. The Cabañas effect, which admittedly might be dubious if you look at it too closely, refers to the observation that athletes and teams with diacritics in their names are more successful than those without them. The nation of Warkus has evaded such statistics for a while, but ever since the end of the 99th World Cup a new odd pattern has begun to capture the popular imagination. It’s what pundits and fans are calling the Warkus-Audioslavia Effect.

The Warkus-Audioslavia effect is easy to explain. It refers to the observation that the nation of Audioslavia is disposed to win the World Cup in cycles that Warkus competes in. The Audioslavians are notorious, throughout their history, for losing finals and for being occasionally more rubbish than you’d expect them to be. The Audioslavian Curse was named after their multiple runner up finishes in World Cups 12, 19, 20 and 29 along with the observed inability, for a time, of any team that lost their first World Cup final to ever win it in the future. They did make a triumphant comeback to international football after being absent for thirty cycles by winning the Baptism of Fire and then back-to-back World Cups in the 63rd and 64th cycles. Cycles that Warkus competed in. And then, when Warkus left the international football scene, Audioslavia went right back to losing. They lost a bunch of World Cup finals after that and while they were sometimes contenders in the cycles that followed, their last final before the 99th World Cup came in the 76th edition. By the time of the 99th cycle, they were a team on the fringes of the World Cup – sometimes qualifying, sometimes not. No one thought that Audioslavia team would go on to win it all, but they did. And, of course, that was the same cycle that Warkus returned to the World Cup Qualifiers after their last appearance in the 64th edition. Audioslavia disappointed in the subsequent World Cup, going out in the Hexadecifinals, but ended up winning the very next edition.

Warkus has competed in every single World Cup cycle that Audioslavia has won. That’s not an interesting statistic on its own, until you remember that Warkus has only ever competed in ten cycles. Audioslavia have won 40% of the World Cups that Warkus has attempted to qualify for. But even that figure downplays the Warkus-Audioslavia effect, as Warkus competed in three cycles that Audioslavia did not. So, we should exclude World Cup 50, 53 and 55 given that they are cycles that Warkus, but not Audioslavia, competed in. When we only count cycles that both nations competed in, we’re left with seven cycles – four of which ended with Audioslavia winning the World Cup. That means, so far, that Audioslavia has won 57.14% of the World Cups in cycles that both they and Warkus have entered.

A cynical person would dismiss this as mere coincidence. If Warkus had bothered to enter more than ten cycles, would Audioslavia really end up becoming the multiverse’s footballing superpower? Would the Warkus-Audioslavia effect persist through forty cycles? Can it, if both nations stick around? Perhaps not. But arguably the Warkus-Audioslavia effect is not some silly coincidence or cosmic miracle. Both nations are related in interesting ways. During Audioslavia’s golden generation, both nations were affiliated with the same sporting region and Audioslavian kitmakers Kirola supplied kits for the Warkusian national team. Nowadays, both nations still share a regional affiliation, albeit with a different sporting region. The ties between the two nations do not explain anything on their own, but some Warkusian pundits suggest that the contrast between the two might serve as motivation for the Audioslavian team. The Warkusian national team has never qualified for the World Cup and is not, to be blunt, known for being any good at football. The stark differences between historical giants, who’ve always been around the top level when Warkus have been competing, could give the Audioslavians a bit of additional confidence. Others, such as pundit James Tylersson, suggest this theory greatly overstates the importance of Warkusian football in Audioslavia at best and is ‘the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard a lot of dumb things in my time’ at worst. Either way, it is an interesting little statistic to talk about at the pub. At least until it starts to annoy us all when it gets brought up every time we sit down to watch a Warkus or Audioslavia game in the World Cup 102 qualifiers.

by **The Martian Independent Republic** » Fri Jun 26, 2026 5:00 pm

Blanks italicized.

Rare ivy grows up the wall in Kwrpania. Katzenburg, fey, w/mic [& mica tiara - Oreveria] & sub bib, quipped: "One in a googol Aamathyr advances. [QSIM or DeeTee gives better odds - Liao] Barf-inducing play. [he's not quite vivace or jazzy, one to talk? - Liao]" Jeux de foot, some could say. We... didn't. EFL jeux'ed our feet, weaving through Spiders. Three-nil, us nil. Eraman [Orioles? No.] next, failing 7-0 in two.

"Like my story?"
"Why did you spell it out of Scrabble tiles? Also, who's Oreveria?"
"Emilio. That's his middle name."
"And you called Stanford Katzenburg's getup 'a mica tiara and a sub bib'?"
"I didn't call it a Micah tiara, Emilio did, although that's quite good wording on his end. It was mica in his hat, after all, and he did have that bib on after he was substituted off."
"DeeTee?"
"You know, the one from Huygens Base that predicts football matches."
"Did Katzenburg even say this?"
"He said extremely low odds and horrifyingly ugly post-football. Poetic license."
"Look, Chiang, stick to the poetry and avoid the match reports in future. Other people are better suited to this sort of thing."
"Okay..."

by **Kamijiro** » Fri Jun 26, 2026 5:01 pm

Cup of Harmony 93: Not Ideal

Perhaps the most annoying part about the fact that his first-ever opponent had forfeit is the fact that Bunta Nagano had no clue what type of feeling he should have in the first place when going up against his second-ever opponent as manager. For all their attacking prowess and defensive stability, the Lightning once again looked completely toothless in attack and... well, weak in defense. Bunta Nagano's philosophy has always been defense-first - conceding three goals is not part of that plan. Fortunately, all he has to do is guide the Lightning past Natkr, who are stumbling hard within the group, and that'll help his chances of succeeding in this role expand mightily.

The Football Association in Kamijiro has been notably impatient of late - Alexandre St. Francis only got the one World Cup qualifier (plus a Campionato Esportiva) before the sack - will this be another quick revolving door as Kamijiro's most coveted managerial position? Only time will tell.

Cup of Harmony 93 | Everything Thread

Three goals and three points!

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