P.R.A.T. (Paradystopi Records & Archiving Team)

by **Only Six Words** » Thu Jan 22, 2026 1:50 am

Week 10 - Cup Final

            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 2–4 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF

"Cup final?!"

"I'm also very confused ..."

by **A non-descript puppet nation** » Thu Jan 22, 2026 2:08 am

Week 7 - Cup Round 2

       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 0–1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi

 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 1–0 A non-descript football team

Week 4 - Cup Round 1

 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 1–0 Hexiverbalist CSASS
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 2–2 A non-descript team of Robots
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–1 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
 A non-descript football team 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus

Replay 1
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 3–3 A non-descript team of Robots

Replay 2
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 3–1 A non-descript team of Robots

<<engage annoyance mode; level=2>>"Offspring Unit Alpha. Please be aware that Warning = Final re:{Unwarranted manipulation of Space-time continuum}."

"Parental Unit. Manipulation not found. Cause=unknown."

<<deceit mode not detected>><<revising annoyance mode; level=1>>"Statement = True. ERROR found re: {cause of 'Unwarranted manipulation of Space-time continuum' = unknown}. Offspring Unit Alpha, Please input apologies {source = Parental Unit}. State known source of 'Unwarranted manipulation of Space-time continuum'."

"Parental Unit. Source re: {'Unwarranted manipulation of Space-time continuum'}=unknown."

<<ERROR detected>>"Offspring Unit Alpha. Does not compute."

by **Qyzzyxzyan Draconic Territories** » Thu Jan 22, 2026 2:16 am

Wassup Dickweeds.

It's me, like everyone's favouritist hyper-powerful Dragonlord who's like, super intelligent, really strong, and as far as gargantuan pseudo-reptiles go, cute as fuck or whatever. That's right, 'tis I, Qyzzyxzy.

...

You know I like, left a gap there for your rapturous applause. So applaud, dammit or like, I'll bite all your faces off or something.

So here it is, the start of Season 3 of ...

Hang on. Why am I getting, like, this crazy feeling of deja vu?

...

Don't applaud there, you damn idiot ... No, like, we've been here before or whatever. Like, we already like, started the season, right?

... Week 5?! ... Really? ... So why am I like, announcing the start of the season? ... Some stupid fucker needs to like, get executed for this shit or whatever ...

Week 5
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Unus

            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 1–1 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 1–2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 3–1 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 4–2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi

          Hexiverbalist CSASS 1–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 3–2 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 3–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 1–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS

       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 0–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 0–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF


                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF    16   10   3   3    16    6  +10    0.719    10
2 A non-descript football team    16    8   4   4    20   13   +7    0.625     8
3 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF          16    8   5   3    11    5   +6    0.656     8
4 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi               16    7   4   5    27   24   +3    0.562     7
5 GQSDFC Peons Unus               16    5   4   7     7    9   −2    0.438     5
6 Hexiverbalist CSASS             16    4   5   7    10   12   −2    0.406     4
7 GQSDFC Peons Duus               16    3   2  11     3   11   −8    0.250     3
8 A non-descript team of Robots   16    3   5   8    13   27  −14    0.344     3

by **A non-descript puppet nation** » Thu Jan 22, 2026 6:37 am

"A time loop?"

"Yep. An infinite pocket of ever-looping space-time."

"That makes no sense."

"Hang on ... this has already happened ... I think ... "

"Has it?"

"Probably. Anyway, what do you mean that it doesn't make sense? Look. Don't get bogged down in all the maths surrounding relativity; it's flawed. It is possible, the computers have worked it out. The tricky thing is calibrating it."

"Why a time loop? What are we trying to achieve by having time repeating itself over and over?"

"Not a general time loop, you fool. A localised one, that's why it's so infuriatingly complicated to calibrate correctly but I think I've nearly got it. You see, if we can localise a time loop to that infernal dragon, then who's going to stop us in annexing the Draconic territories? A load of backwards, religious zealots armed with pointy sticks and over-ripe fruits?"

"Okay. But again, why?"

"Well one, you know dragons have hoardes, right? Imagine what wealth that Qyzzyxzy prick's got. We can also take over their diamonds mines and create a monopoly of shiny stones, and on top of that, there's probably a wealth of rare earth metals ready for us to plunder there. I don't know about you, but I'm sick having to purchase all our lithium from the bloody Farfs, and don't get me started on how much it weirdly stinks of shit."

"What if it doesn't work? Do we really want to start a war with a dragon?"

"It will work. Right, let me just try this and ..."

*CLICK*

"A time loop?"

"Yep. An infinite pocket of ever-looping space-time."

"That makes no sense."

"Hang on ... this has already happened ... I think ... "

"Has it?"

"Probably. Anyway, what do you mean that it doesn't make sense? Look. Don't get bogged down in all the maths surrounding relativity; it's flawed. It is possible, the computers have worked it out. The tricky thing is calibrating it."

"Won't a time loop effect things like causality and stuff?"

"Causality schmausality. Everything will work out in the end. We just need to isolate that damn dragon. I nearly had it before, but the annoying beast managed to break the loop."

"How? And ... I mean, how does any of this work? Time travel is fundamentally impossible, much less crafting an isolated pocket of looping space-time."

"Gahhh ... Do I have to explain everything?! ... Sheesh ... Look, what's sort of happening, is that we're creating a kind of whirlpool in the fabric of space-time. Sort of like a black hole, but without the gravity, and the singularity ..."

"So nothing like a black hole?"

"Do you want an explanation or not?"

"Fine, go on."

"Anyway, in creating a micro-whirlpool in space-time, time will keep passing the same point over and over, and as long as we steer clear of this point, we avoid the effects."

"Sounds like a load of pseudo-scientific bullshit to me ... but whatever ... Did you happen to catch the football scores by the way?"

"Sounds to me like you're an idiot who doesn't fully understand the manipulation of time. On that monitor over there, looks like them religious nutjobs are gonna take the title though at this point."

Week 8
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 1–3 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 0–1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus

          Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 2–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS

       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 0–1 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 0–0 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 1–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF

 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 0–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 0–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 2–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 0–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF

                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF    24   14   6   4    21    7  +14    0.708    14
2 A non-descript football team    24   12   6   6    27   15  +12    0.625    12
3 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF          24   12   6   6    17    8   +9    0.625    12
4 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi               24   12   6   6    35   27   +8    0.625    12
5 Hexiverbalist CSASS             24    7   7  10    14   18   −4    0.438     7
6 GQSDFC Peons Unus               24    7   7  10    10   14   −4    0.438     7
7 A non-descript team of Robots   24    5   6  13    15   35  −20    0.333     5
8 GQSDFC Peons Duus               24    3   4  17     4   19  −15    0.208     3

"When did we get to week eight? Last I looked it was week four, and that was two days ago."

"Okay, fine, so maybe there are some ramifications to trying to create a time loop. Happy now?"

"Not really, I've missed half the season ..."

"Ah well, a tiny prize in comparison to the wealth hidden in the dragon lands. Let's try this again ..."

"Again? When did you try it a first time."

*CLICK*

"A time loop?"

"Yep. An infinite pocket of ever-looping space-time."

"That makes no sense."

"Hang on ... this has already happened ... I think ... "

"This is beyond fucking stupid, and I spent a year travelling Paradystopia ..."

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. Anyway, I think I've got it now. Here goes nothing ..."

*CLICK*

by **Qyzzyxzyan Draconic Territories** » Thu Jan 22, 2026 6:49 am

Wassup Dickweeds.

It's me, like everyone's favouritist hyper-powerful Dragonlord who's like, super intelligent, really strong, and as far as gargantuan pseudo-reptiles go, cute as fuck or whatever. That's right, 'tis I, Qyzzyxzy.

...

You know I like, left a gap there for your rapturous applause. So applaud, dammit or like, I'll bite all your faces off or something.

So here it is, the start of Season 3 of ...

Hang on. Why am I getting, like, this crazy feeling of deja vu?

...

Don't applaud there, you damn idiot ... No, like, we've been here before or whatever. Like, we already like, started the season, right?

Now I come to like, think about it. We've been here too or something or like, whatever. Double deja vu. Strange ...

Wait a minute! I know what this is!

Right, fucksticks! Which one of you clowns is like, messing about with chronomancy?

Wow. It's been like, ages since I've seen chronomancy. I thought it was one of those things that was like, lost to time or whatever. Except to me, of course. You know, super duper sexy all-powerful dragon and all that. Of course I like, know chronomancy. Duh. Gotta say though, I'm almost like, impressed that someone's trying their claws at it even if, whoever it is, is struggling with the like, arcana crafting of something simple like a time loop.

Anyway. Enough of that.

*FZUP*

So, where were we? End of like, the season?

Week 9
A non-descript team of Robots 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 0–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 2–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 0–0 A non-descript team of Robots

 A non-descript football team 0–0 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 1–0 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 0–0 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 0–1 A non-descript football team

            GQSDFC Peons Duus 1–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus

            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 1–0 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 1–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 1–3 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi

                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF    28   15   8   5    22    8  +14    0.679    15   IFCF CL, IFCF CWC, FFI LoV
2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi               28   15   7   6    41   29  +12    0.661    15   IFCF CC, FFI LoV
3 A non-descript football team    28   13   8   7    28   16  +12    0.607    13   IFCF CC, FFI CT
4 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF          28   13   7   8    18   10   +8    0.589    13
5 GQSDFC Peons Unus               28    8   9  11    11   16   −5    0.446     8
6 Hexiverbalist CSASS             28    7   8  13    16   24   −8    0.393     7
7 A non-descript team of Robots   28    6   8  14    17   36  −19    0.357     6
8 GQSDFC Peons Duus               28    5   5  18     6   20  −14    0.268     5

by **Paradystopia** » Sun Feb 08, 2026 2:59 am

Welcome back everyone, to the third official season of the ... 'Concrete proof that Xat'i are better than anyone' league? ... We didn't change the name, did we? ...

Sorry about that everyone. It would appear that someone has been tampering with the autocue. It is in fact, the third season of the Football League of Paradystopia; the FLoP.

For those of you who may not know me, I am Stinky Buttface ... No, I'm not ... Sorry about this ... Can we please get a check ASAP on the rest of the autocue text, thank you. ...

Anyway, apologies, I am actually Stefan Zbrkan; recently appointed Chief Operational Officer to the FLoP.

As many of you may know, there have been big changes in the FLoP since last season. We have witnessed the abandonment of a milestone World Cup due to an apparent lack of interest, seen the independence of Erroropolisish Paradystopia achieved by democratic process, as well as the promise of a further seven teams joining the league. Needless to say, it's been a tumultuous period for Paradystopi football and we all know that the Tumbrans cheated in the Campionato Esportiva ... Hang on ... I thought you had someone proof-reading this!?

Again, my sincere apologies. Any allegations made against the progression of Tumbra in the Campionato Esportiva are completely unfounded and these baseless claims are not supported by the Football League of Paradystopia.

Anyway, the FLoP. With the addition of seven new squads, the league has opted to drop the the previous format of two distinct phases and instead adopt the more commonly used method of a double round-robin to discern the league champion. The Rondeau will still feature a two-legged preliminary round between the previous season's bottom two teams. The winner of this fixture will join all the remaining teams excepting the reigning champion for the first round. The reigning champion will join the competition in the second round alongside the seven first round winners. In addition to the league, and Rondeau competitions, the FLoP is excited to announce a pre-season competition between the previous season's league champion, and the previous season's Rondeau champion; The Grand Salver. For this season, this will be contested against Xat'i Paradystopi, and my mother ... How did you miss that one?

Sorry ... Between Xat'i Paradystopi, and AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja.

And without further ado, let's introduce the teams of the FLoP16.

AC Oeopolis Northern Squad
1 GK : Bruno Kolar (22, Mc, Human)
2 LB : Dirk Coburn (32, Mc, Human)
3 CB : Sextus Penn (18, Mc, Human)
4 CB : Ralf Karlsson (32, Mc, Human)
5 RB : Clarence Smith (26, Mc, Human)
6 LM : Rowan Codbobbin (22, NB, Human)
7 CM : Fluff Natterback (5, Fc, Pteron)
8 RM : Rosko av Fiskby (26, Me, Human)
9 CAM : Frygga van den Aohs (19, Fc, Human)
10 CAM : Squeaker Herringhunter (7, Fc, Pteron)
11 STR : Brynford Looney (19, Me, Human)
12 GK : Hugo Longbottom (22, Mc, Human)
13 CB : Kaeli Crumb (21, Fc, Human)
14 RB/CB : Barnabus av Newetoun (31, Mc, Human)
15 LM/LWB : Dorabella Goldenrock (27, Fc, Human)
16 CAM/CM : Jeremias Byornisson (26, Mc, Human)
17 CAM : Jeff Andave (20, Mc, Human) (ERP)
18 STR : Sylvana van den Herbertsholm (22, NB, Human)
Manager: Bolo Bolić (37, Mc, Human)

TRANSFERS OUT
n/a
TRANSFERS IN
n/a
OTHER
Bolo Bolić - Erroropolis SC -> Management Role @ AC Oeopolis Northern
Previous Seasons
n/a

A.K.A.
The Fishers.

Home Ground
The Wobbegong Cove Ground, Oeopolis (2,610 seats)

Rivalries
(Greater) Erroropolis SC
Querentes Oeopolis

Based in the northern Paradystopi section of the Erroropolis island, AC Oeopolis Northern are a new team for this season's FLoP. It's doubtful that they will be able to make much of an impact on the league, and their fortunes could rest heavily upon the managerial mettle of retired Erroropolis SC player, Bolo Bolic. Whether Bolo will be looking to build the team up, or simply use them as a stepping stone to bigger and better management positions, only time will tell.

Expected to finish
14th

AC Pantsdon Shandy Squad
1 GK : Justyna Moon (19, NB, Human)
2 LWB/CB : Dixon Cooper (28, NB, Human)
3 CB : Jeremiah Lugga (27, Mc, Human)
4 CB : Agnes Stone (29, Fc, Human)
5 RB/CB : Konrad Spoon (21, Mc, Human)
6 CDM/CM : Adyn Kokušić (26, Mc, Human)
7 LM : Yipper Rockhopper (4, Fc, Pteron)
8 CM : Robert Robertsson (30, Mc, Human)
9 CM : Ingrid Nasilnyka (29, Fc, Human)
10 RM/CF : Happy Limpitlicker (11, Mc, Pteron)
11 STR : Razmus Vestyngs (18, Mc, Human)
12 GK : Mungo Beeley (18, Mc, Human)
13 CB : Chirrup Proudnose (5, Fc, Pteron)
14 CB/RB : Jack Pastry (21, Mc, Human)
15 LM/RM : Percival Hattery (23, Mc, Human)
16 CM : Dustin Green (18, Mc, Human)
17 CM : Lydia Thatcher (20, Fc, Human)
18 STR : Kelpy Wobblebottom (4, Mc, Pteron)
Manager: Aleksander Krvić (39, Mc, Human)

TRANSFERS OUT
Dillon Blade      - AC Pantsdon Shandy          -> Farslum Hoo SC
Morton Hook       - AC Pantsdon Shandy          -> North Beach FC (MYR)
Tobias John       - AC Pantsdon Shandy          -> AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Kay Mossing       - AC Pantsdon Shandy          -> Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Dany Smythe-Smith - AC Pantsdon Shandy          -> Random Penguins XI
Edmund White      - AC Pantsdon Shandy          -> Georgetown FC (MYR)
TRANSFERS IN
Razmus Vestyngs   - AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens -> AC Pantsdon Shandy
OTHER
Keith Mordenholm  - AC Pantsdon Shandy (Mngr)   -> Management Role @ AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Previous Seasons
S1: 7th
S2: 8th

A.K.A.
The Reds, Shandy.

Home Ground
Bentelms Boulevard, Pantsdon (8,215 seats)

Rivalries
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Farslum Hoo SC

West of the capital is the town of Pantsdon, home to the Pantsdon Shandy team. With the possible exception of the Erroropolis squad, following their schism over independence, the Pantsdon squad have probably had the most wretched of off-seasons. After their manager, Keith Mordenholm was poached by the Ossies, the team saw themselves lose several key players with Dillon Blade, Morton Hook, and Tobias John all leaving for pastures new. Whilst they have secured a new manager in ex-player Aleksander Krvic and a promising new striker in Rasmus Vestyngs, this season would appear to be one of consolidation.

Expected to finish
12th

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens Squad
1 GK : Aynarde Desprez (20, Fc, Human) (GVN)
2 LB/LWB : Danya Olgasdottyr (18, Fc, Human)
3 CB : Petr Henriksson (27, Mc, Human)
4 CB : Bryson Burch (25, Mc, Human) (MYR)
5 CB : Rolando Pest (18, Mc, Human)
6 RB/RWB : Tobias John (24, Mc, Human)
7 LW/STR : Delta Zigismundis (32, Fc, Human)
8 CM/RM : Edmund Black (28, Mc, Human)
9 CAM/CF : Skwee Manywhiskers (13, Fc, Pteron)
10 RM/RW : Anja Morganasdottyr (26, Fc, Human)
11 STR : Myriam Gryszmeldasdottyr-Scwoggnorrys (22, Fc, Human)
12 GK : Trevor Barnabysson (33, Mc, Human)
13 CB/RB : Hooktooth Kelpyleg (5, Mc, Pteron)
14 CB : Petra Nordoe (18, Fc, Human)
15 CM : Dina Green (27, Fc, Human)
16 LM/RM : Ursa Farandole (18, NB, Human)
17 CAM : Lukas de Bolo (19, Mc, Human)
18 CF/STR : Eydanov Djordjiyović (19, Mc, Human)
Manager: Keith Mordenholm (64, Mc, Human)

TRANSFERS OUT
Daavidts Prosyakić    - AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens            -> SK Zlatari Troglograd
Janika van der Stedd  - AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens            -> Conway Wanderers FC (MYR)
Razmus Vestyngs       - AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens            -> AC Pantsdon Shandy
Eyla Walpurgys        - AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens            -> Tikariot City FC (TKT)
Colson Gerhardsson    - AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens            -> SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
TRANSFERS IN
Bryson Burch (MYR)    - Myrtle Beach FC (MYR)                  -> AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Aynarde Desprez (GVN) - Akademiezh Mell-Droad Gouvanarch (GVN) -> AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Tobias John           - AC Pantsdon Shandy                     -> AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
RETIRED
Szymon Jonsson        - AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens            -> Retired
OTHER
Yevgeny Sparrowhawk   - AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens (Mngr)     -> Management Role @ SK Zlatari Troglograd
Keith Mordenholm      - AC Pantsdon Shandy (Mngr)              -> Management Role @ AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Previous Seasons
S1: 5th
S2: 6th

A.K.A.
The Ossies/Ozzies.

Home Ground
Stadia Urbsclavium, Zentrum, Urbsclavium (27,052 seats)

Rivalries
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja

Based in the heart of Urbsclavium, AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens are beginning to gain a reputation as a 'nearly' team. Always expected to be challenging for IFCF qualification spots but not quite managing to make it. With this in mind, the squad have had a bit of a reshuffle. Keith Mordenholm brought in as a defensively-minded (post-football) manager to hopefully stem the tide of some lax defensive play as well as a promising Gouvanarch youngster Aynarde Desprez between the sticks, and Bryson Burch from Myrtle Beach FC to fill a strong, albeit young back line. Whilst the fanbase will be expecting to see the Ossies conquer their local rivals and make a challenge for the top 3, most outside the city of Urbsclavium are hard pressed to see anything other than more of the same from the Ossies this season.

Expected to finish
5th

Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja Squad
1 GK : Rhuxe (16, Mc, Xat'i)
2 LWB/LW/STR : Amelya Anastasyasdottyr (18, Fc, Human)
3 LB : Dwayne Bexton (18, Mc, Human) (MIR)
4 CB : Clyve Fish (29, Mc, Human)
5 RB : Ronèm D'Ithril-Sur Charmelle (18, Mc, Human) (AUP)
6 RWB/RB : Rakha Wijaya Kusuma (23, Mc, Human) (BME)
7 DM : Karthik Dutta (19, Mc, Human) (INS)
8 CM/CDM : Xhowro (4, Mc, Xat'i)
9 CM : Smiler Wobblebottom (9, Fc, Pteron)
10 MF : Sjoerda te'Kotr (24, Fc, Human) (KNZ)
11 CAM/CF/STR : Flappy Tippytapper (6, Mc, Pteron)
12 GK : Tomas Glupić (20, Mc, Human)
13 LB : Boris Popić (19, Mc, Human)
14 CB : Boris Schmitt (29, Mc, Human)
15 CB : Shrimpy Bounder (4, Fc, Pteron)
16 DM/CM : John Dongler (19, Mc, Human)
17 CM/CAM : Chomps Longpaw (11, Mc, Pteron)
18 STR : Clansey Crabbe (25, Me, Human)
Manager: Lilliana Lepreshev (50, Fc, Human)

TRANSFERS OUT
Aron Magee                         - AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja -> Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Kyrstan Igoric                     - AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja -> SK Zlatari Troglograd
Iona Schlippe                      - AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja -> Barkentyne Abertynkle

TRANSFERS IN
Ronèm D'Ithril-Sur Charmelle (AUP) - Ithril Academie (AUP)       -> AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Rakha Wijaya Kusuma (BME)          - Perselab Labuanjaya (BME)   -> AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Previous Seasons
S1: 4th
S2: 4th + Rondeau Winners

A.K.A.
The Vidders, The Otters.

Home Ground
Arenasecundarius, Wydragrad, Urbsclavium (12,922 seats)

Rivalries
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens

Our second team from Urbsclavium had fairly quiet offseason, though that's not to say that no changes were made. The curious sale of Iona Schlippe to then buy two foreign right backs certainly raised a few eyebrows though few can doubt that there'll be method behind this madness from Lilliana Lepreshev. From consistently bettering their local rivals, to being a favourite for IFCF qualification, to last season's Rondeau win, Lilliana has proven that she knows what she's doing at the helm of the Vidders and has earned the complete trust of the fanbase. Whilst they'll probably require some good fortune to challenge for the league title, they'll be looking to secure another IFCF run and defend their hard-fought Rondeau title.

Expected to finish
3rd

Barkentyne Abertynkle Squad
1 GK : Dirk Kleynhund (21, Mc, Human)
2 CB : Jon Smith (32, Mc, Human)
3 CDM/CB : Frederika Copperthwaite (31, Fc, Human)
4 DF : Kjao (12, Mc, Xat'i)
5 LW : Cassandra Brooks-Weaver (30, Fc, Human)
6 CM/LM : Stefan Smith (31, Mc, Human)
7 CM : Percy Hiveman (26, Mc, Human)
8 CM : Barney Jones (18, Me, Human)
9 RW : Hlao (9, Mc, Xat'i)
10 STR : Iona Schlippe (23, Fc, Human)
11 FW : Rhaume (5, Mc, Xat'i)
12 GK : Lydia Lumpfish (24, Fc, Human)
13 CB : Morgan Eesterholm (30, Mc, Human)
14 CM : Jolyon Glover (26, NB, Human)
15 CM/CAM : Flappy Thickpelt (4, Fc, Pteron)
16 LW : Astryd Stringfellow (23, Fc, Human)
17 CM : Kara Norden (23, Fc, Human)
18 STR : Norman Swinnymoss (27, Mc, Human)
Manager: Rhoderick Erdnussbougher (59, Mc, Human)

TRANSFERS OUT
n/a
TRANSFERS IN
Cassandra Brooks-Weaver  - Farslum Hoo SC                   -> Barkentyne Abertynkle
Iona Schlippe            - AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja      -> Barkentyne Abertynkle
OTHER
Rhoderick Erdnussbougher - SC Oldetoun New Newetoun (Mngr)  -> Management Role @ Barkentyne Abertynkle
Previous Seasons
n/a

A.K.A.
Barkentyne, The Shippers.

Home Ground
The Old Breakers' Yard, Abertynkle (7,172 seats)

Rivalries
St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Any 'Southerners' (Capital teams & South Islands' teams)

The northern team from Abertynkle are a proud lot, and will be hoping to emulate their local rugby team's successes in national competition. On paper, having secured outgoing Oldetoun and former national manager Rhoderick Erdnussbougher and national striker Iona Schlippe, it would look as though they have a chance of making waves and hitting the top half of midtable. However, given how the fortunes of Oldetoun slipped under Rhoderick's watch, he may not bring the star quality they'd be hoping for.

Expected to finish
10th

Bognobb FC Squad
1 GK : Henry Bird (28, Mc, Human) (ERP)
2 LWB : Nibbler Cocklerock (9, Mc, Pteron)
3 CD : Bob Robertson (31, Mc, Human)
4 CB : Eester West (20, Fc, Human) (ERP)
5 CB : Donald Muck (32, Mc, Human) (ERP)
6 RWB : Petra Lee (17, Fe, Human)
7 LM : Wiggles Whelknip (4, Fc, Pteron)
8 CM : Vynnifred Schlumpp (20, Fc, Human) (ERP)
9 CM : Grumpy Gustavus (unk, Mc, Goose) (ERP)
10 RM : Whoopsy Squatnose (5, Fc, Pteron)
11 STR : Sven Svensson (27, Mc, Human) (ERP)
12 GK : Jon Mann (17, Me, Human) (ERP)
13 CB : Heinrich (unk, Mc, Penguin)
14 CB : Barrington Duffnok (25, Mc, Human) (ERP)
15 RWB/RM : Chirpyips Scamperer (4, Fc, Pteron)
16 CM : Holger (unk, Mc, Penguin)
17 LM/CM : Rupert Montacervus (24, Mc, Human) (ERP)
18 STR : Bounder Whelknip (4, Mc, Pteron)
Manager: Chittery Chewsalimpit (15, Fc, Pteron)

TRANSFERS OUT
n/a
TRANSFERS IN
Donald Muck  - Farslum Hoo SC  -> Bognobb FC
Previous Seasons
n/a

A.K.A.
The Boggers.

Home Ground
Penguin Research Base 'Foxtrot', Bognobb, Municipality of Erroropolis (50 seats)

Rivalries
Querentes Oeopolis
AC Oeopolis Northern

The first of our Erroropolisish Paradystopi squads for this season's FLoP. Founded from an open-water swimming club, with a home ground that is basically an isolated rock somewhere off the south coast. If these guys manage a single win this season, that in itself would be cause for celebration.

Expected to finish
16th

Farslum Hoo SC Squad
1 GK : Zlatana Nykwyst (28, Fc, Human)
2 LB/CB : Penny Jaeger-Golding (23, Fc, Human)
3 CB : Joep Taragas (23, Mc, Human) (KNZ)
4 RB/CB : Norman Farris (25, Mc, Human)
5 CDM : Dillon Blade (26, Fc, Human)
6 LW : Nicklas Linderoth (18, Mc, Human) (NRH)
7 CM : Noozhay Gichi-Wendaawendaa (19, Fc, Human) (TKT)
8 CM/CAM/CF : Bo Fisher (26, Me, Human)
9 RW/RB : Rhod Cobbler (30, Mc, Human)
10 STR : Akash Kharpathwa (22, Mc, Human)
11 STR : Meadin Sahilu (22, Fc, Human) (TJU)
12 GK : Joss Smyth (24, Fc, Human)
13 CB : Muhammad Aljushbe (18, Mc, Human)
14 CB : Jayne Av Oldetoun (19, Fc, Human)
15 CM : Oliver Carpenter (28, Mc, Human)
16 LW/RW : Amelya Borgen (25, Fc, Human)
17 FW : Njohnu (4, Mc, Xat'i)
18 STR/RW : Jimmy Quartermeister (22, Mc, Human)
Manager: Barrington Highwater (41, Mc, Human)

TRANSFERS OUT
Donald Muck                       - Farslum Hoo SC                  -> Bognobb FC
Cassandra Brooks-Weaver           - Farslum Hoo SC                  -> Barkentyne Abertynkle
Krysztof Brun                     - Farslum Hoo SC                  -> Rayer Bexsted (ANK)
Victoria Scabbardeer              - Farslum Hoo SC                  -> SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Grakiju                           - Farslum Hoo SC                  -> Xat'i Paradystopi
Albert Crabbe                     - Farslum Hoo SC                  -> Gimnàstic de Tarraconova (BON)
Gunya Yelenasdottyr               - Farslum Hoo SC                  -> San Donato (CER)
Spenser Rickles                   - Farslum Hoo SC                  -> SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
TRANSFERS IN
Dillon Blade                      - AC Pantsdon Shandy              -> Farslum Hoo SC
Meadin Sahilu (TJU)               - unattached                      -> Farslum Hoo SC
Joep Taragas (KNZ)                - Viktoria Ibsia (KNZ)            -> Farslum Hoo SC
Norman Farris                     - SC Oldetoun New Newetoun        -> Farslum Hoo SC
Noozhay Gichi-Wendaawendaa (TKT)  - Saevaroy Town FC Academy (TKT)  -> Farslum Hoo SC
Nicklas Linderoth (NRH)           - Neagra FC (INS)                 -> Farslum Hoo SC (LOAN)
Previous Seasons
S1: 6th
S2: 3rd

A.K.A.
The Hoo(s)

Home Ground
The Hoohus, Farslum Hoo (9,230 seats)

Rivalries
n/a

Farslum are a passionate team whom no-one expected to finish 3rd last season. With an influx of cash from their good fortunes, Barrington Highwater has made major changes to the squad to look to assert the team as challenger for IFCF places and build upon this unexpected result. These sweeping changes are viewed with a bit of trepidation by the fanbase with many believing that Barrington could be sacrificing squad harmony in favour of a team which 'looks good on paper'. Regardless of what may or may not happen this season, they're sure to bring some excitement to proceedings and will be looking once against to claim some scalps of the 'big boys' in the league.

Expected to finish
6th

Greater Erroropolis SC Squad
1 GK : Filthy (unk, Mc, Baboon) (ERP)
2 RWB/DF/MF : Karen (unk, Fc, Penguin)
3 CD : Boris Milosić (20, Mc, Human) (ERP)
4 DF/MF : Patricia (unk, Fc, Penguin)
5 CD : Anna Adinić (26, Fc, Human) (ERP)
6 LM/LWB : Pedro (unk, Mc, Penguin)
7 CM : Lucius Robertson-Cooper (17, Mc, Human) (ERP)
8 CM : Karl Smith-Borgen (30, Mc, Human) (ERP)
9 CF/STR : Xanda Pond (16, NB, Human) (ERP)
10 STR : Honksalot Slaptail (16, Fc, Pteron) (ERP)
11 FW : Error Message (unk, Mc, Human?) (ERP)
12 GK : Fred (unk, Mc, Penguin)
13 GK/DF : Roger (unk, Mc, Penguin)
14 DF/MF : Ingrid (unk, Fc, Penguin)
15 DF/MF : Fenton (unk, Mc, Penguin)
16 MF/FW : Ethel (unk, Fc, Penguin)
17 MF/FW : Steve (unk, Mc, Penguin)
18 MF/FW : Bob (unk, Mc, Penguin)
Manager: Error Message (unk, Mc, Human?)

~~GRATER~~ GREATER

TRANSFERS OUT
Orahn                   - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)  -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Eustace Fothering-Bong  - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)  -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Marija Zaljeva          - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)  -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Floofy Scamperer        - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)  -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Skreech Skipperer       - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)  -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Jack Skibbles           - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)  -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Kevin Saltman           - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)  -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Chirper Longwhiskers    - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)  -> Random Penguins XI    
Yippy Longwhiskers      - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)  -> Random Penguins XI
TRANSFERS IN
Patricia                - Random Penguins XI            -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Fenton                  - Random Penguins XI            -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Bob                     - Random Penguins XI            -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Roger                   - Random Penguins XI            -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Ingrid                  - Random Penguins XI            -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Ethel                   - Random Penguins XI            -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Steve                   - Random Penguins XI            -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Karen                   - Random Penguins XI            -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
OTHER
Bolo Bolić              - Greater Erroropolis SC        -> Management Role @ AC Oeopolis Northern

Previous Seasons
S1: 8th
S2: 7th

A.K.A.
The Error(s), The Ro-ro.

Home Ground
The Erroropolis (Greater) Arena, Erroropolis (Greater) (27,775 seats)

Rivalries
Querentes Oeopolis
AC Oeopolis Northern

With Erroropolisish Paradystopi independence resulting in a large portion of the Erroropolis SC squad defecting to the newly formed Querentes Oeopolis, The Ro-ro were forced to recoup a team by taking the majority of penguin players off of Random Penguins XI. Whilst their chaotic style of football could cause a few upsets, it's very hard to see them achieving anything of note this season.

Expected to finish
13th

by **Paradystopia** » Sun Feb 08, 2026 5:11 am

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC Squad
1 GK : Klara Av Steinbruddet (28, Fc, Human)
2 LB/CB : Rien Dastont (20, Mc, Human) (AUP)
3 CB : Destaire Obscaix (22, Mc, Human) (AUP)
4 CB : Beren Doggle (21, Mc, Human)
5 RB : Helene Gallen-Franck (22, Fc, Human) (KIM)
6 DM/CM : Kiaren Schlippe (26, Mc, Human)
7 LM/RM : Fenwick Adzer (18, NB, Human)
8 RM : Derek Dingle (19, Mc, Human)
9 CAM/CM/SS : Soks (5, Fc, Xat'i)
10 STR : Lia Suarez (20, Fc, Human) (SNL)
11 STR : Brianne Chaplin (20, Fc, Human) (KAT)
12 GK : Hnaukhre (17, Fc, Xat'i)
13 CB/RB : Taylor Wimpey (18, Me, Human)
14 CB/CDM : Hillary Smith (19, Fe, Human)
15 LM/CM : Jon Westbridge (22, Mc, Human)
16 RM/CAM : Skippy Waterdancer (4, Fc, Pteron)
17 CAM/STR : Chadley Brown (26, Mc, Human)
18 FW : Njalha (7, Fc, Xat'i)
Manager: Catalina Arran (63, Fc, Human) of The Martian Independent Republic

TRANSFERS OUT
Cecil Greyston          - New Newetoun Saltquarry SC        -> St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Mikka Utenhom           - New Newetoun Saltquarry SC        -> Malpèrit CF (BON)
TRANSFERS IN
Destaire Obscaix (AUP)  - Pùr State University (AUP)        -> New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
OTHER
Marcela Ramos (VFT)     - New Newetoun Saltquarry SC (Mngr) -> Management Role @ Querentes Oeopolis
Catalina Arran (MIR)    -                                   -> Management Role @ New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Previous Seasons
S1: 2nd
S2: 2nd

A.K.A.
Saltquarry, The Salties

Home Ground
Slagheap Lane Ground, Eestyngsholm, New Newetoun (17,660 seats)

Rivalries
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Xat'i Paradystopi

The major change that Saltquarry have made heading into season 3 is taking on Catalina Arran as manager to replace the successful Marcela Ramos. Fans are somewhat divided over this decision by the Saltquarry board with some feeling that with more time Marcela could've built a title-winning team and others looking ahead expectantly to what successes a more experienced manager could bring to the club. Despite the managerial change, Ms Arran is more or less sticking with the team she has inherited and only bought another young Auprussian defender to add to the defence. Regardless, they are still an impressive unit and still have a reasonable chance of wrestling the league title away from the Xat'i. Maybe not this time around though.

Expected to finish
2nd

Querentes Oeopolis Squad
1 GK : Granville Halibut (28, Mc, Human)
2 CD : Ulf Boldax (26, Mc, Human)
3 CD : Kevin Saltman (18, Mc, Human)
4 CD : Marija Zaljeva (28, Fc, Human)
5 LM : Jack Skibbles (21, Mc, Human)
6 CM : Clifford Stone (30, Mc, Human)
7 CM : Orahn (11, Mc, Xat'i)
8 RM : Floofy Scamperer (7, Mc, Pteron)
9 CM/CAM : Skreech Skipperer (4, Mc, Pteron)
10 STR : Eustace Fothering-Bong (17, Me, Human)
11 STR : Yipper Longclaw (8, Fc, Pteron)
12 GK : Algernon Klonkenbonk (22, Mc, Human)
13 CD : Victor Gray (30, Mc, Human)
14 CD : Sniffles Wetbelly (8, Fc, Pteron)
15 LM/LWB : Jo Parsley (21, Fc, Human)
16 CM : Draydon Swinnymoss (24, NB, Human)
17 CAM/RM : Killian Smith-Sprinkles (28, Mc, Human)
18 STR : Chitters Bluntnose (9, Mc, Pteron)
Manager: Marcela Ramos (38, Fc, Human) of Vielfaltig

TRANSFERS OUT
n/a
TRANSFERS IN
Orahn                   - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)     -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Eustace Fothering-Bong  - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)     -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Marija Zaljeva          - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)     -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Floofy Scamperer        - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)     -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Skreech Skipperer       - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)     -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Jack Skibbles           - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)     -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Kevin Saltman           - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)     -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Clifford Stone          - SC Oldetoun New Newetoun         -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
OTHER
Marcela Ramos (VFT)    - New Newetoun Saltquarry SC (Mngr) -> Management Role @ Querentes Oeopolis
Previous Seasons
n/a

A.K.A.
The Rebels

Home Ground
Erroropolis (Oeopolis) Academy Ground, Erroropolis (Oeopolis) (2,500 seats)

Rivalries
Erroropolis SC

Formed initially from the schism left after Erroropolisish Paradystopi independence, the Querentes feature most of the talent of Erroropolis SC newly unburdened from the leadership of Error Message. How they managed to secure the services of Marcela Ramos following her departure from Saltquarry is anyone's guess, but they have and it can only be a boon for the squad. Whilst they're unlikely to be challenging for top spots, the squad carry an unmatched fervour to prove themselves as well as an axe to grind against their other Erroropolisish Paradystopi counterparts. For season 3, they're certainly a dark horse to keep your eye on.

Expected to finish
8th

Random Penguins XI Squad
1 GK : Qrouj (5, Mc, Xat'i) (QDT)
2 LWB/CB/CDM : Nibbler Kelpcleave (7, Fc, Pteron)
3 DF : Onjesju (10, Mc, Xat'i)
4 CB : Brian Leynham (18, Mc, Human) (TAX)
5 RWB/CB : Dany Smythe-Smith (26, Fe, Human)
6 CDM/CM : Kelpy Clambanger (14, Mc, Pteron)
7 CM : Jimmy Jangletrousers (22, Mc, Human)
8 CM : Chirper Longwhiskers (10, Fc, Pteron)
9 MF/CAM : Olii (6, Mc, Xat'i)
10 STR : Iain Thusk (16, Mc, Human) (DLT)
11 STR : Hooktooth Wobblebottom (7, Mc, Pteron)
12 GK : Ignatius Gormeley-Breckendown (17, Mc, Human)
13 LB/CB : Faustus Jolly (19, Mc, Human)
14 RWB/RM : Skwee Bounder (4, Fc, Pteron)
15 CM : Eriken Fitzulf (16, NB, Human)
16 MF : Ngowhnu (4, Mc, Xat'i)
17 LW/STR : Fidgit Wriggler (5, Fc, Pteron)
18 STR/RW : Yippy Longwhiskers (7, Fc, Pteron)
Manager: Scratch Lobsterbane (17, Mc, Pteron)

TRANSFERS OUT
Patricia                - Random Penguins XI             -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Fenton                  - Random Penguins XI             -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Bob                     - Random Penguins XI             -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Roger                   - Random Penguins XI             -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Ingrid                  - Random Penguins XI             -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Ethel                   - Random Penguins XI             -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Steve                   - Random Penguins XI             -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
Karen                   - Random Penguins XI             -> Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)
TRANSFERS IN
Chirper Longwhiskers    - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)   -> Random Penguins XI    
Yippy Longwhiskers      - Greater Erroropolis SC (ERP)   -> Random Penguins XI
Dany Smythe-Smith       - AC Pantsdon Shandy             -> Random Penguins XI
Onjesju                 - Xat'i Paradystopi              -> Random Penguins XI
Iain Thusk (DLT)        - Tunn's Farm Academy (DLT)      -> Random Penguins XI
Brian Leynham (TAX)     - SoccerLand IFS Programme (TAX) -> Random Penguins XI
Previous Seasons
S1: 9th
S2: 9th

A.K.A.
The Penguins

Home Ground
Penguin Research Base; Charlie, Random (250 seats)

Rivalries
n/a

Despite finishing bottom place in their two previous seasons, one would condemn the penguins to a similar showing this season at their peril. Scratch Lobsterbane has continued to build the squad to the point they no longer need to field penguins and whilst some might argue this goes against the spirit of the team, the penguins now boast a young but hungry squad and given the influx of new and less experienced squads into the FLoP, they'll be looking to capitalise on every and any chance they get to elevate themselves away from the wooden spoon places. Securing some young talent on free transfers from Taxhavn and Delte in Brian Leynham and Iain Thusk mean the Penguins are a team you should no longer take lightly.

Expected to finish
11th

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun Squad
1 GK : Harold King (26, Mc, Human) (SNL)
2 LB : Markus Urošić (31, Mc, Human)
3 CB : Colson Gerhardsson (29, Mc, Human)
4 CB : Anya Kanaka (24, Fc, Human) (CMT)
5 RB : Alceste Toutain (24, Fc, Human) (CMT)
6 LM : Bernie Minglor (18, Mc, Human) (DLT)
7 CM : Victoria Scabbardeer (24, Fc, Human)
8 MF : Sosjian (11, Mc, Xat'i)
9 RM/RW : Anja Bortland (29, Fc, Human)
10 CF : Spenser Rickles (30, Mc, Human)
11 STR : Sky Grey (19, NB, Human)
12 GK : Sonya Shipp (34, Fc, Human)
13 LB/CB : Arnold Av Newetoun (29, Mc, Human)
14 RWB/RM : Jeremy Smart (18, Mc, Human)
15 CM : Federica Marysdottyr (21, Fc, Human)
16 CM/CAM : William Stonks (23, Mc, Human)
17 CM/CF : Ordan Fleeceman (19, NB, Human)
18 FW : Rosa Tinklelander (17, Fc, Human)
Manager: Patrick Smith-Cocker (34, Mc, Human)

TRANSFERS OUT
Clifford Stone           - SC Oldetoun New Newetoun         -> Querentes Oeopolis (ERP)
Norman Farris            - SC Oldetoun New Newetoun         -> Farslum Hoo SC
Erik Klaerre             - SC Oldetoun New Newetoun         -> FC Felina (SEE)
Sara Harbormeisterson    - SC Oldetoun New Newetoun         -> Coalbrook Athletic (KAT)
TRANSFERS IN
Victoria Scabbardeer     - Farslum Hoo SC                   -> SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Colson Gerhardsson       - AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens      -> SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Spenser Rickles          - Farslum Hoo SC                   -> SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
OTHER
Rhoderick Erdnussbougher - SC Oldetoun New Newetoun (Mngr)  -> Management Role @ Barkentyne Abertynkle
Patrick Smith-Cocker     - SC Oldetoun New Newetoun         -> Management Role @ SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Previous Seasons
S1: 3rd
S2: 5th

A.K.A.
Oldetoun, Toun

Home Ground
Soggybottom, Oldetoun, New Newetoun (26,750 seats)

Rivalries
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
AC Pantsdon Shandy

Oldetoun opted to part ways with manager Rhoderick Erdnussbougher after failing to make IFCF qualification last season and have decided to promote retiring defender Patrick Smith-Cocker to the role of manager. It's a bold move to look to someone with no previous management experience to re-elevate the squad to the top four, but this aside, Patrick, a local with already an intimate knowledge of the club does tick a lot of boxes. The team saw quite a balanced transfer period in the off-season, losing the midfield prowess on Clifford Stone to the Querentes, but gaining experience upfront with the signing of Spenser Rickles. We're hard pressed to expect fireworks from Oldetoun, but likewise, we don't expect them to drop further down the table also.

Expected to finish
4th

SK Zlatari Troglograd Squad
1 GK : Rrohlo (4, Mc, Xat'i)
2 LWB/LM : Farla Dolan (32, Fc, Human)
3 CB : Zlatko Emylov (28, Mc, Human)
4 CB : Jakob Mykaelys (19, Mc, Human)
5 RWB/RW : Kyrstan Igorić (28, Fc, Human)
6 LM/CM : Dagmar Scwoggnorrys (31, Fc, Human)
7 CM : Aleksandar Belić (22, Mc, Human)
8 CM : Jana Suzanasdottyr (24, Fc, Human)
9 RM/LM : Daavidts Prosyakić (20, Mc, Human)
10 FW : Qut'ii (14, Fc, Xat'i)
11 STR : David Rodrigo (17, Mc, Human)
12 GK : Matylda Dunjasdottyr (17, Fc, Human)
13 CB : Dragana Matsova (23, Fc, Human)
14 RB/CB : Pavl Weinerbrot (20, Mc, Human)
15 CM : Aedan Tzedryksson (21, Mc, Human)
16 LM/LWB : Maya Blackley (22, Fe, Human)
17 CM : Predrag Bek (26, Mc, Human)
18 STR : Anna Rudar (19, Fc, Human)
Manager: Yevgeny Sparrowhawk (43, Mc, Human)

TRANSFERS OUT
n/a
TRANSFERS IN
Daavidts Prosyakić    - AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens            -> SK Zlatari Troglograd
OTHER
Yevgeny Sparrowhawk   - AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens (Mngr)     -> Management Role @ SK Zlatari Troglograd
Previous Seasons
n/a

A.K.A.
Gold, Zlatari

Home Ground
Stadion Troglograd, Troglograd (10,693 seats)

Rivalries
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
The Urbsclavium teams

The Troglograd squad from the far east of Paradystopia are tipped to be the most promising of the new additions to the league. This is only bolstered by the employment of Yevgeny Sparrowhawk from AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens to infuse some managerial experience through the new unit. There's no question that they're going to come out swinging and look to stamp some authority upon the league. Whether they can truly rub shoulders with the bigger teams in the league currently though, we'll have to wait and see.

Expected to finish
7th

St. Agnant's Wamp SC Squad
1 GK : Perry Hunt (23, Fe, Human)
2 LB : Ernulf Valemont (26, Mc, Human)
3 CB : Terrenz Smith (32, Mc, Human)
4 CB : Inez Pine (25, Fc, Human)
5 RB/LB : Cecil Greyston (31, Mc, Human)
6 CDM : Bolo Rumpus (19, Mc, Human)
7 LM : Julius Roper (23, Mc, Human)
8 CM : Sunnhilde Eestlea (23, Fc, Human)
9 CM : Jordigibbina Bean (20, NB, Human)
10 RM : Mawde Periwinkle (28, Fc, Human)
11 STR : Ralf Ralfkinson (21, Mc, Human)
12 GK : Dunstan Clodd (19, Mc, Human)
13 CB : Brymmington Hoer (22, Mc, Human)
14 CB/CDM : Olav Bonden (27, Mc, Human)
15 LM/RM : Molly Pongo (19, NB, Human)
16 CM : Kazsandra Robertsdottyr (19, Fc, Human)
17 CM/CDM : Filip White (27, Mc, Human)
18 STR : Doug Addych (17, Mc, Human)
Manager: Morris Mulchman (66, Mc, Human)

TRANSFERS OUT
n/a
TRANSFERS IN
Cecil Greyston          - New Newetoun Saltquarry SC        -> St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Previous Seasons
n/a

A.K.A.
The Wampers, The Farmers.

Home Ground
Copse Lane Park, St. Agnant's (4,985 seats)

Rivalries
Barkentyne Abertynkle

From the agricultural heartlands of Paradystopia, St.Agnant's are mostly just glad to be included in the FLoP and outside of the likes of Bognobb FC or Oeopolis Northern, we struggle to really see them challenging most of the other squads.

Expected to finish
15th

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad Squad
1 GK : Forla Agnesdottyr (24, Fc, Human)
2 LM/LWB : Kay Mossing (31, Fc, Human)
3 CB : Darko Petković (19, Mc, Human)
4 CB : Darko Smtnyaović (32, Mc, Human)
5 CB : Djordjiye Labudić (27, Mc, Human)
6 RWB : Aron Magee (31, Mc, Human)
7 CDM/CM : Ursula Janasdottyr (31, Fc, Human)
8 CM : Torvald Kventynsson (25, Mc, Human)
9 CM : Zdenka Borisova (24, Fc, Human)
10 CAM : Dee Znudds (17, NB, Human)
11 STR : Yippy Longfur (7, Fc, Pteron)
12 GK : William Fopdoodle (21, Mc, Human)
13 LWB : Yevgeny Shchyov (18, Mc, Human)
14 CB : Mats Lugga (21, Mc, Human)
15 CB/CDM : Shrimpy Cocklerocker (5, Fc, Pteron)
16 CM/CAM : Lotta Smitt (25, Fe, Human)
17 RB/CDM : Olaf Oelemann (21, Mc, Human)
18 CAM/STR : Jango Mokre (20, Me, Human)
Manager: Radoslav Jajić (51, Mc, Human)

TRANSFERS OUT
n/a
TRANSFERS IN
Kay Mossing       - AC Pantsdon Shandy          -> Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Aron Magee        - AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja -> Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Previous Seasons
n/a

A.K.A.
The Swans, Black Star.

Home Ground
Stadion Poredvodopada, Zygnusgrad (7,310 seats)

Rivalries
SK Zlatari Troglograd
The Urbsclavium teams

The last of the new additions to the FLoP, Zygnusgrad have built a slightly older team than many of the others in the league. It's hard to say whether this experience will equate to better results over the course of the season but the squad appear to be playing for a mid-table finish and look to build on this into the future. It's a prudent approach for a new team, arguably the most forward-thinking of any to look to settle themselves in the league before trying to really push the bigger squads.

Expected to finish
9th

Xat'i Paradystopi Squad
1 GK : Sjiu (5, Fc, Xat'i)
2 CD : Dumpy Crookedclaw (8, Mc, Pteron)
3 CB/CDM : Dart Longpaw (11, Mc, Pteron)
4 DF : Rhorke (7, Mc, Xat'i)
5 LIB : Jim (unk, Mc, Penguin)
6 CM/LM : Iajohn (9, Fc, Xat'i)
7 MF : T'ut'sii (6, Fc, Xat'i)
8 RM/RW : Njawrao (7, Mc, Xat'i)
9 FW : Rhiagr (9, Fc, Xat'i)
10 FW : Rsheu (5, Mc, Xat'i)
11 RW : Grakjiu (7, Fc, Xat'i)
12 GK : Xakheq (3, Mc, Xat'i)
13 DF : Njaonge (8, Fc, Xat'i)
14 MF : Hleqrru (8, Mc, Xat'i)
15 MF : Jankhukh (7, Mc, Xat'i)
16 MF : Hlosgho (5, Mc, Xat'i)
17 FW : Wakkis (8, Mc, Xat'i)
18 FW : Rhisje (6, Fc, Xat'i)
Manager: n/a

TRANSFERS OUT
Onjesju                - Xat'i Paradystopi              -> Random Penguins XI
TRANSFERS IN
Grakiju                - Farslum Hoo SC                 -> Xat'i Paradystopi
RETIRED
Errokhju               - Xat'i Paradystopi              -> Retired
Previous Seasons
S1: 1st + Rondeau Winners
S2: 1st

A.K.A.
The Cats, The Xat'i, The 'Darlings' of South Newlandia.

Home Ground
Heer Field, Heer, New Newetoun (0 seats)

Rivalries
Anyone and everyone.

The Xat'i are the Xat'i, and there's not a lot else to say. Looking for a third consecutive league title, and to claim back the Rondeau after missing out in the final to AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja last season. They are the FLoP's dominant unit as much as it pains most Paradystopi football fans to admit and chances are that season three will be a rinse and repeat of seasons one and two.

Expected to finish
1st

by **Paradystopia** » Tue Feb 10, 2026 9:24 am

WEEK 0
The FLoP Grand Salver
(Pre-season comp - FLoP League winner v FLoP Rondeau winner)

Xat'i Paradystopi 1–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Njawrao 7' - (1-0)
Xhowro 44' - (1-1)
Tippytapper 79' - (1-2)

WEEK 1
Challengers Cup - 1st Qualifying Round - First Leg

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 4-3 Marthorpe City FC (FVA)
Tippytapper 17' - (1-0)
unknown 59' - (1-1)
te'Kotr 62' - (2-1)
te'Kotr 83' - (3-1)
Crabbe 88' - (4-1)
unknown 90'+1 - (4-2)
unknown 90'+4 - (4-3)

WEEK 2
Challengers Cup - 1st Qualifying Round - Second Leg

Marthorpe City FC (FVA) 2-2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (5-6 agg.)
unknown 7' - (1-0)
unknown 28' - (2-0)
Wobblebottom 38' - (2-1)
Tippytapper 66' - (2-2)

WEEK 3
IFCF Champions Cup - 2nd Qualifying Round - First Leg

Cyrene Bay (OAM) 0–2 Xat'i Paradystopi
Rsheu 58' - (0-1)
Rsheu 63' - (0-2)

IFCF Challengers Cup - 2nd Qualifying Round - First Leg

Farslum Hoo SC 5-1 Martin Luther (SSF)
unknown 3' - (0-1)
Sahilu 27' - (1-1)
Kharpathwa 39' - (2-1)
Kharpathwa (p.) 50' - (3-1)
unknown (o.g.) 58' - (4-1)
Sahilu 61' - (5-1)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 4-1 Harkaniv (CER)
Tippytapper 11' - (1-0)
te'Kotr (p.) 27' - (2-0)
unknown 45'+1 - (2-1)
Dutta 84' - (3-1)
Longpaw 88' - (4-1)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 3–1 Brigantine Town (DHE)
unknown 20' - (0-1)
Chaplin 26' - (1-1)
Chaplin 48' - (2-1)
Chaplin (p.) 55' - (3-1)

FLoP - MD1

Bognobb FC 0–1 Farslum Hoo SC
Cobbler 19' - (0-1)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Soks 59' - (0-1)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 5–2 Random Penguins XI
Olli 2' - (0-1)
Anastasyasdottyr 18' - (1-1)
Onjesju (o.g.) 22' - (2-1)
Anastasyasdottyr 36' - (3-1)
Thusk 47' - (3-2)
Crabbe (p.) 79' - (4-2)
Longpaw 90'+1 - (5-2)

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–1 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Schlippe 33' - (0-1)

Xat'i Paradystopi 1–0 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Rhisje 88' - (1-0)

Querentes Oeopolis 2–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Prosyakic (p.) 10' - (0-1)
Rodrigo 52' - (0-2)
Fothering-Bong 59' - (1-2)
Stone 72' - (2-2)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 0–1 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Labudic (o.g.) 72' - (0-1)

Greater Erroropolis SC 3–3 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Robertsson 22' - (0-1)
Slaptail 39' - (1-1)
Slaptail 49' - (2-1)
Spoon 62' - (2-2)
Vestyngs 82' - (2-3)
Slaptail 87' - (3-3)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja    1    1   0   0     5    2   +3     5
 2 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens    1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     5
 = Barkentyne Abertynkle          1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     5
 = Farslum Hoo SC                 1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     5
 = New Newetoun Saltquarry SC     1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     5
 = Xat'i Paradystopi              1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     5
 7 AC Pantsdon Shandy             1    0   1   0     3    3    0     2
 = Greater Erroropolis SC         1    0   1   0     3    3    0     2
 9 Querentes Oeopolis             1    0   1   0     2    2    0     2
 = SK Zlatari Troglograd          1    0   1   0     2    2    0     2
11 AC Oeopolis Northern           1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
 = Bognobb FC                     1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
 = SC Oldetoun New Newetoun       1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
 = St. Agnant's Wamp SC           1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
 = Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad       1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
16 Random Penguins XI             1    0   0   1     2    5   −3     0

WEEK 4
IFCF Champions Cup - 2nd Qualifying Round - Second Leg

Xat'i Paradystopi 2-0 Cyrene Bay (OAM) (4-0 agg.)
Njawrao 42' - (1-0)
T'ut'sii 73' - (2-0)

IFCF Challengers Cup - 2nd Qualifying Round - Second Leg

Martin Luther (SSF) 2-2 Farslum Hoo SC (3-7 agg.)
Kharpathwa 19' - (0-1)
unknown 52' - (1-1)
unknown 59' - (2-1)
Linderoth 74' - (2-2)

Harkaniv (CER) 2-0 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (3-4 agg.)
unknown - (1-0)
unknown - (2-0)

Brigantine Town (DHE) 1-1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC (2-4 agg.)
Suarez 66' - (0-1)
unknown 90' - (1-1)

FLoP - MD2

Farslum Hoo SC 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Quartermeister 86' - (1-0)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 2–1 Greater Erroropolis SC
Zigismundis 41' - (1-0)
Morganasdottyr 69' - (2-0)
Smith-Borgen 77' - (2-1)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 3–3 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Rodrigo 5' - (1-0)
Suzanasdottyr 18' - (2-0)
Longfur 24' - (2-1)
Emylov 62' - (3-1)
Znudds 67' - (3-2)
Kventynsson 82' - (3-3)

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 4–4 Querentes Oeopolis
Orahn 10' - (0-1)
Rickles 28' - (1-1)
Sosjian 41' - (2-1)
Rickles 60' - (3-1)
Fothering-Bong 64' - (3-2)
Skibbles 75' - (3-3)
Smith-Sprinkles 84' - (3-4)
Tinklelander 89' - (4-4)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 1–1 Xat'i Paradystopi
Copperthwaite (o.g.) 59' - (0-1)
Rhaume 88' - (1-1)

Random Penguins XI 0–0 AC Oeopolis Northern

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 3–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Schlippe 33' - (1-0)
Tippytapper 41' - (1-1)
Suarez (p.) 55' - (2-1)
te'Kotr (p.) 71' - (2-2)
Chaplin 75' - (3-2)

Bognobb FC 1–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Svensson 4' - (1-0)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC     2    2   0   0     4    2   +2    10
 2 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens    2    2   0   0     3    1   +2    10
 3 Farslum Hoo SC                 2    2   0   0     2    0   +2    10
 4 Barkentyne Abertynkle          2    1   1   0     2    1   +1     7
 = Xat'i Paradystopi              2    1   1   0     2    1   +1     7
 6 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja    2    1   0   1     7    5   +2     5
 7 Bognobb FC                     2    1   0   1     1    1    0     5
 8 Querentes Oeopolis             2    0   2   0     6    6    0     4
 9 SK Zlatari Troglograd          2    0   2   0     5    5    0     4
10 Greater Erroropolis SC         2    0   1   1     4    5   −1     2
 = SC Oldetoun New Newetoun       2    0   1   1     4    5   −1     2
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy             2    0   1   1     3    4   −1     2
 = Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad       2    0   1   1     3    4   −1     2
14 AC Oeopolis Northern           2    0   1   1     0    1   −1     2
15 Random Penguins XI             2    0   1   1     2    5   −3     2
16 St. Agnant's Wamp SC           2    0   0   2     0    2   −2     0

"Mr. Zbrkan, sir? Excuse me, Mr. Zbrkan?"
"Yes? What is it? Not more memes of me calling myself 'Stinky Buttface', is it?"
"No sir. We've just received a formal complaint regarding the standard of officiating within the league. I thought maybe you should be the one to take a look."
"Formal complaint? At this point in the season? Really? From whom?"
"The Xat'i Paradystopi organisation, sir."
"I should've guessed ... What is it now? Accusing us of anti-Xat'i bias by awarding cards for simulation again? Another attempt to have matches broken up into nine ten minute periods because it's supposedly deeply offensive to expect some of the Xat'i to concentrate or physically exert themselves for a period longer than fifteen minutes at a time?"
"No sir. Today it's 'gross negligence (and anti-Xat'i bias) in the standard of time-keeping in matches'."
"I see. Their evidence for this is ... ?"
"Their recent match in Abertynkle. They state that the match should've ended before it did, thus meaning that Barkentyne's goal should not stand."
"One of those late stoppage time equalisers was it?"
"Eighty-eighth minute, sir."
"Right, okay. What are their actual grounds for this complaint then?"
"So, they apparently timed the match themselves and are most adamant that the actual duration of the game was over 110 minutes."
"Surely not. How long was the official stoppage time?"
"1 minute in the first half, 4 minutes at the end of the second."
"Right. Hang on. This timer they used, do you think any of them thought to stop it during the half-time interval?
"Probably not, sir."
"My thoughts exactly. Just send them the standard response."
"The 'Thank you for your concerns, we'll look into it' reply and then chuck the complaint into the shredder for recycling?"
"Indeed. Funny that, if they're timing their league games themselves, they didn't think to bring up their late winner against Oldetoun in the opening week ..."

by **Paradystopia** » Fri Feb 13, 2026 4:47 am

WEEK 5
IFCF Champions Cup - 3rd Qualifying Round - First Leg

Xat'i Paradystopi 0-2 Spartak Rybolovlev (ENE)
unknown 77' - (0-1)
unknown 83' - (0-2)

IFCF Challengers Cup - 3rd Qualifying Round - First Leg

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 2-2 Aminey CS (KOR)
Dingle 11' - (1-0)
unknown 58' - (1-1)
unknown 72' - (1-2)
Waterdancer 87' - (2-2)

Farslum Hoo SC 1-1 Carathyr Emeralds FC (TKT)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 66' - (1-0)
unknown 72' - (1-1)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 2-4 FC Teussen Stelburg (STL)
te'Kotr 6' - (1-0)
unknown 21' - (1-1)
unknown 31' - (1-2)
unknown 59' - (1-3)
Fish (o.g.) 83' - (1-4)
Kusuma 89' - (2-4)

FLoP - MD3

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 2–4 Farslum Hoo SC
Rumpus 7' - (1-0)
Fisher 11' - (1-1)
Kharpathwa (p.) 43' - (1-2)
Rumpus (o.g.) 45'+1 - (1-3)
Ralphkinson 73' - (2-3)
Njohnu 88' - (2-4)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 2–0 Bognobb FC
Anastasyasdottyr 33' - (1-0)
te'Kotr 90' - (2-0)

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–0 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC

Xat'i Paradystopi 2–3 Random Penguins XI
Rhiagr 3' - (1-0)
Rsheu 18' - (2-0)
Jangletrousers 44' - (2-1)
Thusk 79' - (2-2)
Thusk 90'+1 - (2-3)

Querentes Oeopolis 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Stone (p.) 85' - (1-0)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 0–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Grey 58' - (0-1)

Greater Erroropolis SC 3–1 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Pond 2' - (1-0)
Slaptail 9' - (2-0)
Prosyakic (p.) 61' - (2-1)
Pedro 79' - (3-1)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Farslum Hoo SC                 3    3   0   0     6    2   +4    15
 2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC     3    2   1   0     4    2   +2    12
 3 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens    3    2   1   0     3    1   +2    12
 4 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja    3    2   0   1     9    5   +4    10
 5 Querentes Oeopolis             3    1   2   0     7    6   +1     9
 6 Greater Erroropolis SC         3    1   1   1     7    6   +1     7
 7 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun       3    1   1   1     5    5    0     7
 8 Xat'i Paradystopi              3    1   1   1     4    4    0     7
 9 Barkentyne Abertynkle          3    1   1   1     2    2    0     7
10 Random Penguins XI             3    1   1   1     5    7   −2     7
11 Bognobb FC                     3    1   0   2     1    3   −2     5
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy             3    0   2   1     3    4   −1     4
13 AC Oeopolis Northern           3    0   2   1     0    1   −1     4
14 SK Zlatari Troglograd          3    0   2   1     6    8   −2     4
15 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad       3    0   1   2     3    5   −2     2
16 St. Agnant's Wamp SC           3    0   0   3     2    6   −4     0

WEEK 6
IFCF Champions Cup - 3rd Qualifying Round - Second Leg

Spartak Rybolovlev (ENE) 1-0 Xat'i Paradystopi (3-0 agg.)
unknown 82' - (1-0)

IFCF Challengers Cup - 3rd Qualifying Round - Second Leg

Aminey CS (KOR) 2-2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC (4-4 agg, 4-4 AET, 4-3 pen)
unknown 55' - (1-0)
Chaplin 59' - (1-1)
Soks 87' - (1-2)
unknown (p.) 90'+2 - (2-2)

Carathyr Emeralds FC (TKT) 1-2 Farslum Hoo SC (2-3 agg.)
unknown 37' - (1-0)
Kharpathwa 62' - (1-1)
Blade 75' - (1-2)

FC Teussen Stelburg (STL) 1-1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (5-3 agg.)
unknown 17' - (1-0)
unknown (o.g.) 83' - (1-1)

FLoP - MD4

Farslum Hoo SC 2–1 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Sahilu 68' - (1-0)
Gryszmeldasdottyr-Scwoggnorrys 80' - (1-1)
Sahilu 86' - (2-1)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–1 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Kokusic 45' - (0-1)
Qut'ii 57' - (1-1)
Qut'ii 64' - (2-1)

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–1 Greater Erroropolis SC
Minglor 77' - (1-0)
Message (p.) 90'+3 - (1-1)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 4–2 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Schlippe 22' - (1-0)
Borisova 36' - (1-1)
Longfur 43' - (1-2)
Hlao 59' - (2-2)
Schlippe (p.) 75' - (3-2)
Schlippe (p.) 89' - (4-2)

Random Penguins XI 2–4 Querentes Oeopolis
Smith-Smythe 19' - (1-0)
Orahn 34' - (1-1)
C.Longwhiskers 49' - (2-1)
Fothering-Bong 55' - (2-2)
Longclaw 72' - (2-3)
Boldax 81' - (2-4)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 3–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
Rsheu 11' - (0-1)
Rhiagr 13' - (0-2)
Suarez 38' - (1-2)
Jim 45' - (1-3)
Adzer 69' - (2-3)
Suarez 79' - (3-3)

Bognobb FC 0–1 AC Oeopolis Northern
West (o.g.) 72' - (0-1)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Xhowro 33' - (0-1)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Farslum Hoo SC                 4    4   0   0     8    3   +5    20
 2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja    4    3   0   1    10    5   +5    15
 3 Querentes Oeopolis             4    2   2   0    11    8   +3    14
 4 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC     4    2   2   0     7    5   +2    14
 5 Barkentyne Abertynkle          4    2   1   1     6    4   +2    12
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens    4    2   1   1     4    3   +1    12
 7 Greater Erroropolis SC         4    1   2   1     8    7   +1     9
 8 Xat'i Paradystopi              4    1   2   1     7    7    0     9
 9 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun       4    1   2   1     6    6    0     9
10 AC Oeopolis Northern           4    1   2   1     1    1    0     9
11 SK Zlatari Troglograd          4    1   2   1     8    9   −1     9
12 Random Penguins XI             4    1   1   2     7   11   −4     7
13 Bognobb FC                     4    1   0   3     1    4   −3     5
14 AC Pantsdon Shandy             4    0   2   2     4    6   −2     4
15 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad       4    0   1   3     5    9   −4     2
16 St. Agnant's Wamp SC           4    0   0   4     2    7   −5     0

WEEK 7 - No Matches

Hiya Paradystopia! Welcome to the monthly FLoP round-up with me, Jill Prendergast, and my co-host ...
Go on, just get it over and done with ... I know what you want to talk about ...
...my co-host, Kwrao. Anyway, what are you referring to, Kwrao?
You know exactly what. Just say it and move on.
I can't say I follow ... There's a whole month of league action to get through.
The fucking penguins, dammit!
Ohhh. So you want to start with the surprising upset of week three? The match that saw the Xat'i squander a two-nil lead to lose three-two at home to Scratch Lobsterbane's squad of youngsters?
No, not particularly. Though the Xat'i were quite obviously robbed.
Were they? Really?
Of course they were! There needs to be real change in the officiating of this league, it's disgraceful. Maybe I should write another letter to that buttface guy.
You mean Stefan Zbrkan?
Yeah, whatever. Either way, it's a joke.
So, what exactly were your issues with the officiating of the match?[i]
I don't know ... Just ... Well ... Something has to be afoot if the stupid penguins are beating the mighty Xat'i. Whatever. Shut up.
[i]Riiight. A powerful argument, well made.
You know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, right.
True, nearly as low as the Xat'i league position after four matches ...
... Yeah, well, shut up ... fucking penguins ...
Anyway, four matches down and it's only the Hoo who can boast a hundred percent record start to the season. Coupled with an impressive victory over Carathyr Emeralds in the Challengers Cup, this seems a signal of intent from Barry Highwater's souped-up unit. How long can it continue?
Don't care.
Well, do you think we can expect to see them hit the international qualifying spots again?
Talking about IFCF qualification already? They've not exactly had the most difficult start to the season. Bognobb, St.Agnant's, Shandy. They beat the Ossies, fair enough, and internationally they're outperforming expectations but they've yet to face a strong opposition in the league yet.
Like the penguins?
... I hate you ...
Yes, well, it's just nice to see the Xat'i on the receiving end for a change.
They'll win the league yet, mark my words. Once they start stringing together some wins. This is just a blip.
In the chase behind Farslum, we have the Otters, Saltquarry, and somewhat unexpectedly, maybe, Querentes Oeopolis. One would probably expect the Vidders and the Salties to be up there fighting their way to the top, but Querentes? Is this the Marcela Ramos effect?
They are a bit of a surprise to be honest. Good draw against Oldetoun in week two that was very close to being a win. Marcela's certainly found a way to get those ex-Erroropolis players working as a unit. I guess they're determined to show they can actually play, and without having to follow the orders of that lunatic, Error, they're actually coming good. Can't see them staying up there though.
No? To be honest, I don't think the squad is quite there yet but well, who knows in this game? I can see them causing a few upsets over the course of the season.
Meh. Probably.
Talking of Erroropolis, or Greater Erroropolis as is now apparently is, a good start for them?
Well, I can't see Error taking the desertion lightly, and is also likely to want to prove a point. With a subs bench full of penguins, I can't see they having the staying power to continue this charge. Either way, a damning loss for the Troglograd side who were pipped to do well and another disappointing draw for Oldetoun.
Talking of Oldetoun, they're currently ninth. Are we witnessing the fall of one of the previously big teams?
Probably, well maybe, it's early on and they're only just below the Xat'i so naturally we can take it that the league doesn't mean much at this stage. Patrick Smith-Cocker's likely to get a longer 'grace' period at the club on account of past service as a player, but either way, they got rid of Erdnussbougher to attempt to stop the rot and if Patrick doesn't manage that, I can't see them keeping him around.
It's a fair point. Also, given Mr. Erdnussbougher has led Barkentyne to an impressive start, if Oldetoun don't manage to turn their fortunes around there's some executives there who are going to end up with egg on their face.
I can't see Barkentyne staying above Oldetoun. They're relying heavily on Iona Schlippe and I don't imagine it'll be long before teams work out they can likely render the Abertynkle team inert by nullifying her. Who else have they got? Rhaume and Hlao? Two Xat'i not good enough for the Xat'i squad? Pah.
So every Xat'i in the nation supports and dreams of playing for Xat'i Paradystopi?
Well, they should.

by **Paradystopia** » Sat Feb 14, 2026 7:04 am

WEEK 8

IFCF Challengers Cup - 4th Qualifying Round - First Leg

Olastaryn Wyverns (OLA) 2-2 Xat'i Paradystopi
Rhiagr 22' - (0-1)
Sjiu (o.g.) 59' - (1-1)
Iajohn 67' - (1-2)
unknown 88' - (2-2)

Farslum Hoo SC 3-1 Southbay Riveria FC (INS)
Linderoth 12' - (1-0)
unknown 38' - (1-1)
Cobbler 42' - (2-1)
Borgen 87' - (3-1)

FLoP Rondeau - Preliminary Round - First Leg

AC Pantsdon Shandy 1–0 Random Penguins XI
Vestyngs 77' - (1-0)

FLoP - MD 5

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 4–2 Farslum Hoo SC
Kharpathwa (p.)31' - (0-1)
Anastasyasdottyr 44' - (1-1)
Tippytapper 49' - (2-1)
Tippytapper 53' - (3-1)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 70' - (3-2)
Dongler 90'+1 - (4-2)

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC

Xat'i Paradystopi 4–0 Bognobb FC
Rsheu 30' - (1-0)
T'ut'sii 55' - (2-0)
Rsheu 59' - (3-0)
Jim 63' - (4-0)

Querentes Oeopolis 2–4 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Soks 4' - (0-1)
Soks 11' - (0-2)
Gallen-Franck 29' - (0-3)
Stone (p.) 55' - (1-3)
Chaplin 59' - (1-4)
Skipperer 87' - (2-4)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 0–3 Random Penguins XI
Olii 77' - (0-1)
Olii 81' - (0-2)
Thusk 85' - (0-3)

Greater Erroropolis SC 4–4 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Schlippe (p.) 5' - (0-1)
Brooks-Weaver 17' - (0-2)
Message (p.) 40' - (1-2)
Pond 44' - (2-2)
Message 46' - (3-2)
Schlippe 64' - (3-3)
Schlippe (p.) 67' - (3-4)
Robertson-Cooper 79' - (4-4)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Bortland 70' - (0-1)
Toutain 89' - (0-2)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 2–1 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Morganasdottyr 58' - (1-0)
Gryszmeldasdottyr-Scwoggnorrys 70' - (2-0)
Qut'ii 74' - (2-1)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja    5    4   0   1    14    7   +7    20
 2 Farslum Hoo SC                 5    4   0   1    10    7   +3    20
 3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC     5    3   2   0    11    7   +4    19
 4 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens    5    3   1   1     6    4   +2    17
 5 Xat'i Paradystopi              5    2   2   1    11    7   +4    14
 6 Barkentyne Abertynkle          5    2   2   1    10    8   +2    14
 7 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun       5    2   2   1     8    6   +2    14
 8 Querentes Oeopolis             5    2   2   1    13   12   +1    14
 9 Random Penguins XI             5    2   1   2    10   11   −1    12
10 Greater Erroropolis SC         5    1   3   1    12   11   +1    11
11 AC Oeopolis Northern           5    1   3   1     1    1    0    11
12 SK Zlatari Troglograd          5    1   2   2     9   11   −2     9
13 Bognobb FC                     5    1   0   4     1    8   −7     5
14 AC Pantsdon Shandy             5    0   2   3     4    8   −4     4
15 St. Agnant's Wamp SC           5    0   1   4     2    7   −5     2
16 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad       5    0   1   4     5   12   −7     2

WEEK 9

IFCF Challengers Cup - 4th Qualifying Round - Second Leg

Xat'i Paradystopi 3-1 Olastaryn Wyverns (OLA) (5-3 agg.)
unknown 9' - (0-1)
Grakiju 22' - (1-1)
Grakiju 59' - (2-1)
Grakiju 63' - (3-1)

Southbay Riveria FC (INS) 2-3 Farslum Hoo SC (3-6 agg.)
Farris (o.g.) 32' - (1-0)
unknown 35' - (2-0)
Sahilu 45'+1 - (2-1)
Kharpathwa 55' - (2-2)
Blade 83' - (2-3)

FLoP - MD6

Farslum Hoo SC 3–1 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Belic 19' - (0-1)
Fisher 47' - (1-1)
Sahilu 81' - (2-1)
Sahilu 88' - (3-1)

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Grey 88' - (1-0)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 1–1 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Limpitlicker 72' - (0-1)
Hlao 90'+1 - (1-1)

Random Penguins XI 4–1 Greater Erroropolis SC
C.Longwhiskers 2' - (1-0)
Filthy (o.g.) 18' - (2-0)
Thusk 23' - (3-0)
Clambanger 40' - (4-0)
Pedro 77' - (4-1)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–0 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Petkovic (o.g.) 29' - (1-0)

Bognobb FC 1–1 Querentes Oeopolis
Longclaw 79' - (0-1)
Svensson (p.) 90'+2 - (1-1)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 4–4 Xat'i Paradystopi
Rsheu 1' - (0-1)
Grakiju 13' - (0-2)
Rsheu 16' - (0-3)
Periwinkle 38' - (1-3)
Ralfkinson 42' - (2-3)
Rsheu 59' - (2-4)
Addych 87' - (3-4)
Addych 90'+3 - (4-4)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
te'Kotr 11' - (1-0)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja    6    5   0   1    15    7   +8    25
 2 Farslum Hoo SC                 6    5   0   1    13    8   +5    25
 3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC     6    4   2   0    12    7   +5    24
 4 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun       6    3   2   1     9    6   +3    19
 5 Random Penguins XI             6    3   1   2    14   12   +2    17
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens    6    3   1   2     6    5   +1    17
 7 Xat'i Paradystopi              6    2   3   1    15   11   +4    16
 8 Barkentyne Abertynkle          6    2   3   1    11    9   +2    16
 9 Querentes Oeopolis             6    2   3   1    14   13   +1    16
10 AC Oeopolis Northern           6    1   3   2     1    2   −1    11
11 Greater Erroropolis SC         6    1   3   2    13   15   −2    11
12 SK Zlatari Troglograd          6    1   2   3    10   14   −4     9
13 Bognobb FC                     6    1   1   4     2    9   −7     7
14 AC Pantsdon Shandy             6    0   3   3     5    9   −4     6
15 St. Agnant's Wamp SC           6    0   2   4     6   11   −5     4
16 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad       6    0   1   5     5   13   −8     2

Who's that boundin' about on all fours like a numpty?
That's Flappy Tippytapper, Grandad. He's one of our top scorers currently and one of our star strikers.
Flappy what now? And if he's so good why's he lollopin' about on hands and feet then?
Flappy Tippytapper, Grandad. He's a Pteron, one of the best Pteron players in the league in fact. I've got all the football cards for this season and Flappy got the highest ratings of all the Pteron players in both shooting and ball control, though Skwee Manywhiskers has a better rating for passing.
Pterons?! Pah. Back in my day, football was a man's game. None of these silly Pterons, and Hekattis or whate'er you call them, and penguins messin' up the field with their bloody nonsense.
Didn't they have Xat'i and Pterons in the olden times, Grandad? I'm sure I saw in my Bawbley's illustrated history of Paradystopi football that there were Pteron teams in the before-times. I think there were solely female teams also.
Pteron teams? Oh good gracious no. Just fine manly teams, like football's supposed to be.
So the Artisannes weren't an all-female team?
Oh, they were. Fine manly women, they was.
Ok, but weren't there teams from the Lymryk isles? They were all Pterons, yes?
Aye lad, but they weren't Paradystopia was they? Anyway, what's the score currently?
We're three-one up currently, and this'll be an important win for us if we can better the Farslum team. They're currently four from four and if we've any chance of beating the Xat'i this season, these are games we need to win. Just another twenty-five minutes to hold out for.
Pah. Back in my day, matches lasted for days, weeks even. Proper battles of attrition they was.
I don't think that's true, Grandad.
It chuffin' is, sonny! I was there at the cup final when Dynamoe Sabryke eventually beat Hexploesyve Rastredmaddar on penalties. Six days it took! Day and night, non-stop, and you only got one substitute back then. These kids of today wouldn't last a minute against some of that old-fashioned grit and muscle. Glorious times, they was, before them monks rendered everythin' to cheese ...
If you say so, Grandad, though ... Oh, no ... no ... Dammit! What a strike though! One back for the Hoo. Come on you Vidders! Can't throw this away now.
You call that a strike? Back in my day, we'd call that a tap-in.
Oh come on, Grandad. Gichi-Wendaawendaa hammered that in to the top corner from probably thirty yards out. That was a screamer!
Gitchy Wenderwendoo?
Noozhay Gichi-Wendaawendaa. One of Farslum's new signings, she's pretty deadly if you give her too much space.
What sort of a name is that?
Tikariotian, I think.
Bloody nonsense. Didn't have stupid names like that back in my day!
Grandad, I'm sure there's plenty of Paradystopi names that other cultures find silly, or weird in their languages.
Look sonny, I'm tellin' you straight that there was none of that nonsense back in my day, or my name ain't Faustus Frumpendoodleheimer!

by **Paradystopia** » Sun Feb 15, 2026 1:38 am

WEEK 10
IFCF Challengers Cup - Playoff Round - First Leg

Xat'i Paradystopi 4-1 FC Teussen Stelburg (STL)
Rhiagr 22' - (1-0)
Rsheu 26' - (2-0)
T'ut'sii 38' - (3-0)
unknown 73' - (3-1)
Wakkis 88' - (4-1)

Farslum Hoo SC 2-0 Inverhaven Ironworks (KAT)
Sahilu 63' - (1-0)
Linderoth 79' - (2-0)
FLoP - MD7

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–1 Farslum Hoo SC
Blade 55' - (0-1)

Xat'i Paradystopi 3–0 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Njawrao 10' - (1-0)
Grakiju 39' - (2-0)
Wakkis 90'+1 - (3-0)

Querentes Oeopolis 0–2 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Eestlea 69' - (0-1)
Pine 88' - (0-2)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 2–0 Bognobb FC
Borisova 31' - (1-0)
Borisova 53' - (2-0)

Greater Erroropolis SC 0–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Suarez 29' - (0-1)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 2–1 Random Penguins XI
Rockhopper 59' - (1-0)
C.Longwhiskers 64' - (1-1)
Thatcher 84' - (2-1)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 0–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle

SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Rodrigo 13' - (1-0)
Bortland (p.) 27' - (1-1)
Qut'ii 36' - (2-1)
Bortland 44' - (2-2)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Farslum Hoo SC                 7    6   0   1    14    8   +6    30
 2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC     7    5   2   0    13    7   +6    29
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja    7    5   0   2    15   10   +5    25
 4 Xat'i Paradystopi              7    3   3   1    18   11   +7    21
 5 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun       7    3   3   1    11    8   +3    21
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens    7    3   2   2     6    5   +1    19
 7 Barkentyne Abertynkle          7    2   4   1    11    9   +2    18
 8 Random Penguins XI             7    3   1   3    15   14   +1    17
 9 Querentes Oeopolis             7    2   3   2    14   15   −1    16
10 AC Oeopolis Northern           7    1   3   3     1    3   −2    11
11 Greater Erroropolis SC         7    1   3   3    13   16   −3    11
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy             7    1   3   3     7   10   −3    11
13 SK Zlatari Troglograd          7    1   3   3    12   16   −4    11
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC           7    1   2   4     8   11   −3     9
15 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad       7    1   1   5     7   13   −6     7
16 Bognobb FC                     7    1   1   5     2   11   −9     7

WEEK 11
IFCF Challengers Cup - Playoff Round - Second Leg

FC Teussen Stelburg (STL) 1-3 Xat'i Paradystopi (2-7 agg.)
unknown 10' - (1-0)
Rsheu 13' - (1-1)
Rsheu 41' - (1-2)
Jim 80' - (1-3)

Inverhaven Ironworks (KAT) 2-1 Farslum Hoo SC (2-3 agg.)
unknown 71' - (1-0)
unknown (p.) 90'+2 - (2-0)
Kharpathwa (p.) 90'+6 - (2-1)

WEEK 12
FLoP Rondeau - Preliminary Round - Second Leg

Random Penguins XI 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy (1-1 agg, 2–1 AET)
Thusk 33' - (1-0)
Wriggler 104' - (2-0)

FLoP - MD8

Farslum Hoo SC 0–0 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun

Barkentyne Abertynkle 2–3 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Smith 3' - (1-0)
Belic 26' - (1-1)
Suzanasdottyr 31' - (1-2)
Prosyakic (p.) 33' - (1-3)
Rhaume 50' - (2-3)

Random Penguins XI 0–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Adzer 77' - (1-0)

Bognobb FC 0–2 Greater Erroropolis SC
Slaptail 52' - (0-1)
Slaptail 59' - (0-2)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Znudds 20' - (0-1)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–2 Querentes Oeopolis
Dutta 32' - (1-0)
Tippytapper 40' - (2-0)
Stone 52' - (2-1)
Wobblebottom 70' - (3-1)
Scamperer 81' - (3-2)

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–2 Xat'i Paradystopi
Njawrao 20' - (0-1)
Grakiju 31' - (0-2)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC     8    6   2   0    14    7   +7    34
 2 Farslum Hoo SC                 8    6   1   1    14    8   +6    32
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja    8    6   0   2    18   12   +6    30
 4 Xat'i Paradystopi              8    4   3   1    20   11   +9    26
 5 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun       8    3   4   1    11    8   +3    23
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens    8    3   3   2     6    5   +1    21
 7 Random Penguins XI             8    3   2   3    15   14   +1    19
 8 Barkentyne Abertynkle          8    2   4   2    13   12   +1    18
 9 Greater Erroropolis SC         8    2   3   3    15   16   −1    16
10 Querentes Oeopolis             8    2   3   3    16   18   −2    16
11 SK Zlatari Troglograd          8    2   3   3    15   18   −3    16
12 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad       8    2   1   5     8   13   −5    12
13 AC Pantsdon Shandy             8    1   3   4     7   11   −4    11
14 AC Oeopolis Northern           8    1   3   4     1    5   −4    11
15 St. Agnant's Wamp SC           8    1   2   5     8   12   −4     9
16 Bognobb FC                     8    1   1   6     2   13  −11     7

"Look, Alyson, what the fuck is this? When I hired you as a fucking agent I had high hopes, highly recommended I was told. Great connections in the industry apparently. So what the fuck am I currently doing? ... Yes, I'm well aware I can't exactly pull out now on top of the fact that unlike certain individuals, I'm a fucking professional ... Yes, that was aimed at you, Alyson ... You really think I give a flying fuck about 'appealing to the younger demographics'? Did you forget the fact that I'm a fucking decorated actor?! ... Yes, Alyson, so you keep telling me. I'm well aware that there's little demand for avant-garde theatre in today's market, but this? It's fucking demeaning! ... Oh, 'the pay is decent'? Well, fuck me like the corporate whore you're obviously advertising me as ... You really think I care for fucking pandering to the sports crowd? Really? ... 'Exposure'?! Seriously, Alyson. Fucking seriously ... Don't talk to me about fucking optics, I don't give the slightest fuck about any of that and you know it. Anyway, I've got to fucking go and do this shit. We'll be having a serious fucking chat later, Alyson. Mark my fucking words! ..."

Yes, you infernal prick, I'm well aware that's my cue ...

Hyuk hyuk hyuk!

Hey there kiddies! I'm Professor Dingus Digits, the Paradystopi football league's new official clown statistician!

*HONK*

Hyuk hyuk! So, with us being just over a quarter of the way through season three of the FLoP, let's have a little look at some interesting numbers. I'll just step over to the whiteboard, and I better be careful to avoid that carelessly discarded banana skin ... Uh-oh ...

*Slips on aforementioned banana skin, and clatters into the whiteboard*

Whoopsy-deary-me! Hyuk hyuk! Now then, where was I? Oh yeah, numbers. So, looking here we see that our current leader in the goalscorers is ...

*HONK*

Rsheu of Xat'i Paradystopi, with seven league goals, and five goals in IFCF competitions making ...

*Counts dramatically on fingers*

Twelve goals so far! That's a goal a week! Also on seven league goals is Iona Schlippe of Barkentyne Abertynkle, and just behind them are Honksalot Slaptail of Erroropolis SC, and Iain Thusk of Random Penguins XI with six league goals so far. However, if we look at total goals across all competitions ...

*Spins whiteboard over, bashing self upon head in the process*

Whoopsy-deary-me! Hyuk hyuk! So in all football competitions so far there's Flappy Tippytapper of AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja, and Meadin Sahilu and Akash Kharpathwa, both of Farslum Hoo SC with eight goals. Very interesting indeed! Now then, what about clean sheets?

*Mock soiled bedsheets are hurled onto the set over the 'professor' causing him to clatter into the whiteboard again before changing direction and once again slip upon the banana peel. Eventually, the 'professor' frees himself from the sheets.*

Hyuk hyuk! Whoopsy daisy! And I said clean sheets, not my bed sheets. Hyuk hyuk!

*Throwing the sheet off set, the 'professor' returns to the whiteboard, once again slipping upon the banana peel in the process. He again rotates the board and bashes himself upon the head.*

Oh deary-me! Hyuk hyuk! Anyway, if we just look at the league results we can see it's Klara av Steinbruddet of New Newetoun Saltquarry SC with five clean sheets currently leading the list of goalkeepers, though Sjiu of Xat'i Paradystopi has six clean sheets in total if we count IFCF games too. Ooo! Very interesting indeed!

*The comically oversized phone on the professor's desk begins to ring. In scrambling to get over to it, he once again slips upon the banana peel and clatters into a wall before finally reaching the phone.*

Yes, Professor Dingus Digits here ... Mmhmm ... Calling from Farolera on the island of Farfadillis you say? Ooo ... 'Are there any inherently funny numbers', you say? ... Well, that's an interesting question. Personally, I find π to be quite humourous.

*A large custard pie flies from offstage left, striking the 'professor' square in the face. Blinded by the cream, he stumbles around his desk, once again slips upon the banana peel, and clatters through the whiteboard off stage right.*

by **Paradystopia** » Sat Feb 21, 2026 2:00 am

WEEK 13
IFCF Challengers Cup - Group Stage - MD1

Farslum Hoo SC 4-1 Tihon United (CMT)
Sahilu 11' - (1-0)
Fisher 39' - (2-0)
Sahilu 45'+1 - (3-0)
unknown 57' - (3-1)
Sahilu (p.) 65' - (4-1)

Scott City FC (DAR) 0-2 Xat'i Paradystopi
Njawrao 11' - (0-1)
Rsheu 14' - (0-2)

FLoP - MD9

Xat'i Paradystopi 4–2 Farslum Hoo SC
Rhiagr 9' - (1-0)
Grakiju 21' - (2-0)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 37' - (2-1)
Jaeger-Golding (o.g.) 48' - (3-1)
Kharpathwa 55' - (3-2)
Rhiagr 77' - (4-2)

Querentes Oeopolis 3–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
Longclaw 59' - (1-0)
Longclaw 67' - (2-0)
Skipperer 88' - (3-0)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 0–0 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja

Greater Erroropolis SC 4–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Message (p.) 15' - (1-0)
Message 19' - (2-0)
Message (p.) 72' - (3-0)
Pond 90' - (4-0)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 2–0 Bognobb FC
Nasilnyka 58' - (1-0)
Vestyngs 70' - (2-0)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–0 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Gryszmeldasdottyr-Scwoggnorrys (p.) 73' - (1-0)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 0–0 Random Penguins XI

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Copperthwaite (o.g.) 88' - (1-0)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC     9    6   2   1    14    8   +6    34
 2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja    9    6   1   2    18   12   +6    32
 3 Farslum Hoo SC                 9    6   1   2    16   12   +4    32
 4 Xat'i Paradystopi              9    5   3   1    24   13  +11    31
 5 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun       9    4   4   1    12    8   +4    28
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens    9    4   3   2     7    5   +2    26
 7 Greater Erroropolis SC         9    3   3   3    19   16   +3    21
 8 Querentes Oeopolis             9    3   3   3    19   18   +1    21
 9 Random Penguins XI             9    3   3   3    15   14   +1    21
10 Barkentyne Abertynkle          9    2   4   3    13   13    0    18
11 SK Zlatari Troglograd          9    2   4   3    15   18   −3    18
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy             9    2   3   4     9   11   −2    16
13 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad       9    2   2   5     8   13   −5    14
14 AC Oeopolis Northern           9    1   3   5     1    8   −7    11
15 St. Agnant's Wamp SC           9    1   2   6     8   16   −8     9
16 Bognobb FC                     9    1   1   7     2   15  −13     7

WEEK 14
IFCF Challengers Cup - Group Stage - MD2

St. John's Arsenal (QUE) 1-1 Farslum Hoo SC
unknown (p.) 55' - (1-0)
Fisher 89' - (1-1)

Xat'i Paradystopi 2-2 1912 Stelburg (STL)
Grakiju 6' - (1-0)
unknown 14' - (1-1)
Grakiju 24' - (2-1)
unknown 84' - (2-2)

FLoP - MD10

Farslum Hoo SC 3–2 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Blade 38' - (1-0)
Schlippe 58' - (1-1)
Linderoth 62' - (2-1)
Sahilu 77' - (3-1)
Hlao 89' - (3-2)

Random Penguins XI 0–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Rickles 78' - (0-1)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–1 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Rudar 86' - (0-1)
Soks 90'+1 - (1-1)

Bognobb FC 0–1 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Manywhiskers 40' - (0-1)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–1 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Wobblebottom 90'+2 - (0-1)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 2–1 Greater Erroropolis SC
Kusuma 56' - (1-0)
Xhowro 82' - (2-0)
Slaptail 88' - (2-1)

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–2 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Znudds 4' - (0-1)
Znudds 41' - (0-2)

Xat'i Paradystopi 3–2 Querentes Oeopolis
Rhiagr 39' - (1-0)
Fothering-Bong 47' - (1-1)
Skibbles 51' - (1-2)
Rhisje 79' - (2-2)
Rhisje 89' - (3-2)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   10    7   1   2    20   13   +7    37
 2 Farslum Hoo SC                10    7   1   2    19   14   +5    37
 3 Xat'i Paradystopi             10    6   3   1    27   15  +12    36
 4 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    10    6   3   1    15    9   +6    36
 5 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      10    5   4   1    13    8   +5    33
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   10    5   3   2     8    5   +3    31
 7 Greater Erroropolis SC        10    3   3   4    20   18   +2    21
 8 Querentes Oeopolis            10    3   3   4    21   21    0    21
 9 Random Penguins XI            10    3   3   4    15   15    0    21
10 AC Pantsdon Shandy            10    3   3   4    10   11   −1    21
11 SK Zlatari Troglograd         10    2   5   3    16   19   −3    20
12 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      10    3   2   5    10   13   −3    19
13 Barkentyne Abertynkle         10    2   4   4    15   16   −1    18
14 AC Oeopolis Northern          10    1   3   6     1   10   −9    11
15 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          10    1   2   7     8   17   −9     9
16 Bognobb FC                    10    1   1   8     2   16  −14     7

WEEK 15
IFCF Challengers Cup - Group Stage - MD3

Farslum Hoo SC 2-2 Ludogorets Markovsky (AFT)
unknown 10' - (0-1)
unknown 49' - (0-2)
Quartermeister 88' - (1-2)
Taragas 90'+4 - (2-2)

Strathcona Internationals (KSK) 2-3 Xat'i Paradystopi
unknown 14' - (1-0)
unknown (o.g) 27' - (1-1)
T'ut'sii 52' - (1-2)
unknown 55' - (2-2)
Njawrao 79' - (2-3)

FLoP - MD11

Querentes Oeopolis 3–1 Farslum Hoo SC
Stone 34' - (1-0)
Scamperer 36' - (2-0)
Stone 41' - (3-0)
Njohnu 70' - (3-1)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 0–4 Xat'i Paradystopi
Iajohn 3' - (0-1)
Jim 58' - (0-2)
Rsheu 61' - (0-3)
Iajohn 70' - (0-4)

Greater Erroropolis SC 1–1 AC Oeopolis Northern
Smith-Borgen 77' - (1-0)
Filthy (o.g.) 90'+1 - (1-1)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 1–0 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Vestyngs (p.) 88' - (1-0)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 3–2 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Morganasdottyr 9' - (1-0)
Gryszmeldasdottyr-Scwoggnorrys (p.) 23' - (2-0)
John 45' - (3-0)
Ralfkinson 56' - (3-1)
Bean 80' - (3-2)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 4–1 Bognobb FC
Prosyakic 48' - (1-0)
Rodrigo 54' - (2-0)
Svensson (p.) 56' - (2-1)
Rodrigo 70' - (3-1)
Prosyakic (p.) 90'+1 - (4-1)

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 2–0 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Bortland 19' - (1-0)
Grey 67' - (2-0)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 1–0 Random Penguins XI
Swinnymoss 90'+2 - (1-0)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             11    7   3   1    31   15  +16    41
 2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      11    6   4   1    15    8   +7    38
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   11    7   1   3    20   14   +6    37
 4 Farslum Hoo SC                11    7   1   3    20   17   +3    37
 5 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    11    6   3   2    15   11   +4    36
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   11    6   3   2    11    7   +4    36
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            11    4   3   4    24   22   +2    26
 8 AC Pantsdon Shandy            11    4   3   4    11   11    0    26
 9 SK Zlatari Troglograd         11    3   5   3    20   20    0    25
10 Greater Erroropolis SC        11    3   4   4    21   19   +2    23
11 Barkentyne Abertynkle         11    3   4   4    16   16    0    23
12 Random Penguins XI            11    3   3   5    15   16   −1    21
13 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      11    3   2   6    10   17   −7    19
14 AC Oeopolis Northern          11    1   4   6     2   11   −9    13
15 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          11    1   2   8    10   20  −10     9
16 Bognobb FC                    11    1   1   9     3   20  −17     7

WEEK 16 - No Matches

'Hiya' Paradystopia, It's me, Kwrao with J... oh wait, force of habit ... without Jill Prendergast. Sadly Jill is unavailable today, some medical bullshit or something. Migraines, or whatever they are, so it's just me.

So, where to begin?

Well, the Xat'i are in their rightful place at the top of the league, going well in the Challengers Cup, yaddi-yaddi-ya. As for the other teams, blah blah blah, usual shit. Some won, some drew, some lost, very boring.

I think that about covers everything, so let's wrap this up there.

Awesome. I'm gonna go grab a nap if anyone needs me.

Sorry, what I mean to say is, 'I'm gonna grab a nap so no-one best need me until I've dozed sufficiently'.

by **Erroropolisish Paradystopia** » Sun Feb 22, 2026 2:32 am

WEEK 17
FLoP Rondeau - Round 1 - First Leg

Greater Erroropolis SC 3–1 Querentes Erroropolis
Illegal goal that shouldn't of counted 19' - (0-1)
Pedro 70' - (1-1)
H.R.H. Error Message (p.) 74' - (2-1)
Robertson-Cooper 89' - (3-1)

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Xat'i Paradystopi 1–0 AC Erroropolis Northern
Barkentyne Abertynkle 1–2 Random Penguins XI
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 2–0 Bognobb FC
Farslum Hoo SC 2–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC

WEEK 18
FLoP - MD12

Farslum Hoo SC 1–2 Random Penguins XI
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Bognobb FC 1–3 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 5–3 SK Zlatari Troglograd
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–4 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
AC Erroropolis Northern 1–3 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Cheating Bastards Erroropolis 3–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Xat'i Paradystopi 2–0 Greater Erroropolis SC

FLoP16 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Greater Erroropolis SC 12 3 4 5 21 21 0 73
2 Xat'i Paradystopi 12 8 3 1 33 15 +18 46
3 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 12 7 4 1 18 9 +9 43
4 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 12 7 3 2 16 11 +5 41
5 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 12 7 3 2 15 10 +5 41
6 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 12 7 1 4 23 18 +5 37
7 Farslum Hoo SC 12 7 1 4 21 19 +2 37
8 AC Pantsdon Shandy 12 5 3 4 14 12 +2 31
9 Random Penguins XI 12 4 3 5 17 17 0 26
10 SK Zlatari Troglograd 12 3 5 4 23 25 −2 25
11 Barkentyne Abertynkle 12 3 4 5 16 17 −1 23
12 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 12 3 2 7 11 20 −9 19
13 St. Agnant's Wamp SC 12 2 2 8 15 23 −8 14
14 AC Errorpolis Northern 12 1 4 7 3 14 −11 13
15 Bognobb FC 12 1 1 10 4 23 −19 7
16 Querentes Errorpolis 12 5 3 4 27 23 +4 0

WEEK 19
FLoP - MD13

Greater Erroropolis SC 3–3 Querentes Erroropolis
Slaptail 11' - (1-0)
Traitor 39' - (1-1)
Cheater 42' - (1-2)
Traitor 45'+1 - (1-3)
H.R.H. Error Message (p.) 88' - (2-3)
Bob 90'+12 - (3-3)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 2–4 Farslum Hoo SC
AC Pantsdon Shandy 2–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–0 AC Erroropolis Northern
SK Zlatari Troglograd 4–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Barkentyne Abertynkle 1–0 Bognobb FC
Random Penguins XI 0–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC

FLoP16 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Greater Erroropolis SC 13 3 5 5 24 24 0 75
2 Xat'i Paradystopi 13 9 3 1 36 17 +19 51
3 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 13 8 4 1 19 9 +10 48
4 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 13 8 3 2 17 11 +6 46
5 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 13 8 3 2 16 10 +6 46
6 Farslum Hoo SC 13 8 1 4 25 21 +4 42
7AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 13 7 1 5 25 22 +3 37
8 AC Pantsdon Shandy 13 5 3 5 16 15 +1 31
9 SK Zlatari Troglograd 13 4 5 4 27 27 0 30
10 Barkentyne Abertynkle 13 4 4 5 17 17 0 28
11Random Penguins XI 13 4 3 6 17 18 −1 26
12 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 13 3 2 8 13 24 −11 19
13St. Agnant's Wamp SC 13 2 2 9 15 24 −9 14
14 AC Erroropolis Northern 13 1 4 8 3 15 −12 13
15 Bognobb FC 13 1 1 11 4 24 −20 7
16 Querentes Erroropolis 13 5 4 4 30 26 +4 0

Greetings, and 'Piyao!' to you all. Here is the Erroropolisish football round-up.

The despicable rebels of Querentes Erroropolis were firmly put in their place by our most glorious Greater Erroropolis SC in first leg of the first round proper of the FLoP Rondeau. Tensions had been high in the capital ever since the draw had announced that the team of our proud and wonderful leader would have to face off against those pusillanimous defectors in a contest for the ages. With the first leg merely a fortnight before these teams' first, and potentially historic meeting in the league, the Erroropolisish footballing community has been ablaze as this famous rivalry was set to come to a head twice in quick succession.

Our outstanding leader, manager, captain, and owner of Greater Erroropolis SC; H.R.H. Error Message remained coolly phlegmatic issuing a statement in which he stated his intent to 'crush these foul turncoats', as well as giving a rallying cry to the faithful of these lands with 'I hope the bastards die'. In the interests of balance, Marcela Ramos; 'disgraced' former Vielfaltigian player and supposed manager of the evil scum was approached for a statement. She stated that she 'hoped that football would do the talking' and urged her odious supporters to 'rise above the hateful rhetoric as it's only sport at the end of the day'. Exactly the sort of thing one would expect of a whiny loser.

However, for all of Ms. Ramos' empty words, it was football that did the talking. The traitors squandering their controversial one-nil lead to a second half onslaught of the rightful Erroropolisish football team. Pedro first scoring a beautiful header from inside the six-yard box, then a penalty calmly dispatched by our glorious leader before young Lucius Robertson-Cooper completed a sensational victory with a well taken solo effort. Naturally, in the aftermath of the match doctored images surfaced apparently showing that Pedro was actually in an offside position prior to Smith-Borgen's pinpoint cross though this was obviously a case of sour grapes from the supporters of the losing team. Then, the traitorous lot brought further disgrace upon themselves by questioning the decisions which had resulted in H.R.H. Error Message's penalty, namely how it made any sense that a penalty was awarded for their goalkeeper deliberately, and with malice of forethought, handling the ball outside of the area. Clearly they should look up the rules of football. From our careful analysis, the goalkeeper; Mr. Granville Halibut initially fouled H.R.H. Error Message with a diving attempt at a save from just inside the box before his momentum carried him outside of the box where he proceeded to make contact with the ball with his hand. Regardless of these petty quibbles that one would expect from devious mutineers, the result, and Mr. Halibut's suspension stand.

Now, in the league in week 19, the awful radicals did have a chance to get some vengeance for what they perceived as an ill-gotten victory on the part of Greater Erroropolis SC but naturally, they once again failed. Despite a three-one lead at half-time, that many have said was exceptionally lucky and quite probably a down to a sympathetic referee or other such deceptive acts, once again our glorious leader did start a glorious comeback from the penalty spot before sensational substitute Bob the penguin scored a stunning last gasp equaliser in the twelfth minute of the mandated three minutes of stoppage time.

WEEK 17
CEdC - Group Stage - MD1

FC Guimignac 47 (GVN) 1-2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
unknown 58' - (1-0)
te'Kotr 62' - (1-1)
Wobblebottom 82' - (1-2)

FLoP Rondeau - Round 1 - First Leg

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Minglor 77' - (1-0)

Xat'i Paradystopi 1–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
Grakiju 10' - (1-0)

Greater Erroropolis SC 3–1 Querentes Oeopolis
Filthy (o.g.) 19' - (0-1)
Pedro 70' - (1-1)
Message (p.) 74' - (2-1)
Robertson-Cooper 89' - (3-1)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 1–2 Random Penguins XI
Jones 71' - (1-0)
Jangletrousers 88' - (1-1)
Leynham 90'+2 - (1-2)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Qut'ii 5' - (0-1)
Black 29' - (1-1)
Prosyakic 49' - (1-2)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 2–0 Bognobb FC
Longfur 22' - (1-0)
Longfur 60' - (2-0)

Farslum Hoo SC 2–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Kharpathwa 55' - (1-0)
Chaplin 63' - (1-1)
Blade 84' - (2-1)

WEEK 18
IFCF Challengers Cup - Group Stage - MD4

Tihon United (CMT) 4-2 Farslum Hoo SC
unknown 3' - (1-0)
unknown 11' - (2-0)
unknown 38' - (3-0)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 51' - (3-1)
Sahilu 55' - (3-2)
unknown 81' - (4-2)

Xat'i Paradystopi 1-3 Scott City FC (DAR)
Jim 5' - (1-0)
unknown 27' - (1-1)
unknown 79' - (1-2)
unknown 90'+1 - (1-3)

CEdC - Group Stage - MD2

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3-2 Maharlika Marulas (SFI)
Xhowro 40' - (1-0)
unknown 45'+1 - (1-1)
unknown 51' - (1-2)
Dutta 72' - (2-2)
Xhowro 79' - (3-2)

FLoP - MD12

Farslum Hoo SC 1–2 Random Penguins XI
Cobbler 62' - (1-0)
Thusk 79' - (1-1)
Thusk (p.) 90'+3 - (1-2)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Suarez 77' - (1-0)

Bognobb FC 1–3 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Grey 14' - (0-1)
Rickles 27' - (0-2)
Bortland (p.) 81' - (0-3)
Schlumpp 89' - (1-3)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 5–3 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Ralfkinson (p.) 21' - (1-0)
Scwoggnorrys 28' - (1-1)
Prosyakic 58' - (1-2)
Bean 70' - (2-2)
Rodrigo 74' - (2-3)
Valemont 80' - (3-3)
Bean 88' - (4-3)
Bean (p.) 90'+3 - (5-3)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–4 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Tippytapper 17' - (1-0)
te'Kotr 25' - (2-0)
Gryszmeldasdottyr-Scwoggnorrys 31' - (2-1)
Gryszmeldasdottyr-Scwoggnorrys 54' - (2-2)
Anastasyasdottyr 71' - (3-2)
Zigismundis 82' - (3-3)
Zigismundis 89' - (3-4)

AC Oeopolis Northern 1–3 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Vestyngs 38' - (0-1)
Rockhopper 65' - (0-2)
Looney 71' - (1-2)
Karlsson (o.g.) 90'+1 - (1-3)

Xat'i Paradystopi 2–0 Greater Erroropolis SC
Rhiagr 20' - (1-0)
Rhiagr 45'+1 - (2-0)

Querentes Oeopolis 3–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Longclaw 3' - (1-0)
Magee 55' - (1-1)
Fothering-Bong 59' - (2-1)
Bluntnose 88' - (3-1)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             12    8   3   1    33   15  +18    46
 2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      12    7   4   1    18    9   +9    43
 3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    12    7   3   2    16   11   +5    41
 4 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   12    7   3   2    15   10   +5    41
 5 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   12    7   1   4    23   18   +5    37
 6 Farslum Hoo SC                12    7   1   4    21   19   +2    37
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            12    5   3   4    27   23   +4    31
 8 AC Pantsdon Shandy            12    5   3   4    14   12   +2    31
 9 Random Penguins XI            12    4   3   5    17   17    0    26
10 SK Zlatari Troglograd         12    3   5   4    23   25   −2    25
11 Greater Erroropolis SC        12    3   4   5    21   21    0    23
12 Barkentyne Abertynkle         12    3   4   5    16   17   −1    23
13 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      12    3   2   7    11   20   −9    19
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          12    2   2   8    15   23   −8    14
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          12    1   4   7     3   14  −11    13
16 Bognobb FC                    12    1   1  10     4   23  −19     7

WEEK 19
IFCF Challengers Cup - Group Stage - MD5

Farslum Hoo SC 1-2 St. John's Arsenal (QUE)
unknown 56' - (0-1)
Cobbler 72' - (1-1)
unknown 81' - (1-2)

1912 Stelburg (STL) 2-0 Xat'i Paradystopi
unknown 88' - (1-0)
unknown 90'+3 - (2-0)

CEdC - Group Stage - MD3

Empilot United FC (BRP) 0-2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Anastasyasdottyr 71' - (0-1)
Crabbe 90' - (0-2)

Xat'i Paradystopi 3-1 Dortmund Schwarz (KAU)
Grakiju 14' - (1-0)
Rsheu 31' - (2-0)
unknown 72' - (2-1)
Iajohn 76' - (3-1)

FLoP - MD13

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 2–4 Farslum Hoo SC
Znudds 2' - (1-0)
Fisher 28' - (1-1)
Kharpathwa 57' - (1-2)
Linderoth 63' - (1-3)
Taragas 89' - (1-4)
Mokre 90'+2 - (2-4)

Greater Erroropolis SC 3–3 Querentes Oeopolis
Slaptail 11' - (1-0)
Orahn 39' - (1-1)
Stone 42' - (1-2)
Orahn 45'+1 - (1-3)
Message (p.) 88' - (2-3)
Bob 90'+12 - (3-3)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 2–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
Rsheu 3' - (0-1)
Rsheu 7' - (0-2)
Robertsson 41' - (1-2)
T'ut'sii 78' - (1-3)
Thatcher 85' - (2-3)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
Djordjiyovic 88' - (1-0)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 4–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Rodrigo 6' - (1-0)
Igoric 10' - (2-0)
Rodrigo 21' - (3-0)
te'Kotr 52' - (3-1)
Belic 59' - (4-1)
Anastasyasdottyr 73' - (4-2)

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Rickles 40' - (1-0)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 1–0 Bognobb FC
Schlippe (p.) 79' - (1-0)

Random Penguins XI 0–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Chaplin 72' - (0-1)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             13    9   3   1    36   17  +19    51
 2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      13    8   4   1    19    9  +10    48
 3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    13    8   3   2    17   11   +6    46
 4 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   13    8   3   2    16   10   +6    46
 5 Farslum Hoo SC                13    8   1   4    25   21   +4    42
 6 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   13    7   1   5    25   22   +3    37
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            13    5   4   4    30   26   +4    33
 8 AC Pantsdon Shandy            13    5   3   5    16   15   +1    31
 9 SK Zlatari Troglograd         13    4   5   4    27   27    0    30
10 Barkentyne Abertynkle         13    4   4   5    17   17    0    28
11 Random Penguins XI            13    4   3   6    17   18   −1    26
12 Greater Erroropolis SC        13    3   5   5    24   24    0    25
13 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      13    3   2   8    13   24  −11    19
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          13    2   2   9    15   24   −9    14
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          13    1   4   8     3   15  −12    13
16 Bognobb FC                    13    1   1  11     4   24  −20     7

by **Paradystopia** » Mon Feb 23, 2026 1:15 am

WEEK 20
IFCF Challengers Cup - Group Stage - MD6

Ludogorets Markovsky (AFT) 1-1 Farslum Hoo SC
unknown 73' - (1-0)
Sahilu 79' - (1-1)
#  Group A                                      P  W  D  L  GF  GA  GD  Pts
1  Tihon United                           CMT   6  3  2  1  14  13   1  11 
2  Ludogorets Markovsky                   AFT   6  2  3  1  11   9   2   9  
3  Farslum Hoo SC                         PDT   6  1  3  2  11  11   0   6  
4  St. John's Arsenal                     QUE   6  1  2  3   7  10  -3   5
Xat'i Paradystopi 4-1 Strathcona Internationals (KSK)
Rhiagr 4' - (1-0)
Njawrao 10' - (2-0)
Rhiagr 52' - (3-0)
unknown 77' - (3-1)
Jim 89' - (4-1)
#  Group I                                      P  W  D  L  GF  GA  GD  Pts
1  1912 Stelburg                          STL   6  3  2  1  12  10   2  11
2  Xat'i Paradystopi                      PDT   6  3  1  2  12  10   2  10
3  Strathcona Internationals              KSK   6  2  2  2  11  11   0   8
4  Scott City FC                          DAR   6  1  1  4   8  12  -4   4
CEdC - Group Stage - MD4

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3-0 FC Guimignac 47 (GVN)
Tippytapper 51' - (1-0)
Anastasyasdottyr 73' - (2-0)
Anastasyasdottyr 78' - (3-0)

Deportivo Pequeña Melilla (FHU) 3-3 Xat'i Paradystopi
unknown 18' - (1-0)
Grakiju 36' - (1-1)
Rsheu 41' - (1-2)
Grakiju 44' - (1-3)
unknown 79' - (2-3)
unknown 90'+1 - (3-3)

FLoP - MD14

Farslum Hoo SC 3–3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 7' - (1-0)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 36' - (2-0)
Dingle 45' - (2-1)
Chaplin (p.) 59' - (2-2)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa (p.) 72' - (3-2)
Njalha 88' - (3-3)

Bognobb FC 0–0 Random Penguins XI

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Ralfkinson (p.) 70' - (1-0)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 2–0 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Wobblebottom 80' - (1-0)
Crabbe 90'+2 - (2-0)

AC Oeopolis Northern 1–3 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Qut'ii 2' - (0-1)
Suzanasdottyr 55' - (0-2)
van den Aohs 81' - (1-2)
Bek 88' - (1-3)

Xat'i Paradystopi 2–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Desprez (o.g.) 79' - (1-0)
Wakkis 90'+3 - (2-0)

Querentes Oeopolis 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Longclaw 39' - (1-0)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 3–2 Greater Erroropolis SC
Slaptail 42' - (0-1)
Slaptail 57' - (0-2)
Borisova 68' - (1-2)
Longfur 72' - (2-2)
Janasdottyr 79' - (3-2)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             14   10   3   1    38   17  +21    56
 2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      14    8   4   2    19   11   +8    48
 3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    14    8   4   2    20   14   +6    48
 4 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   14    8   3   3    16   12   +4    46
 5 Farslum Hoo SC                14    8   2   4    28   24   +4    44
 6 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   14    8   1   5    27   22   +5    42
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            14    6   4   4    31   26   +5    38
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         14    5   5   4    30   28   +2    35
 9 AC Pantsdon Shandy            14    5   3   6    16   16    0    31
10 Barkentyne Abertynkle         14    4   4   6    17   18   −1    28
11 Random Penguins XI            14    4   4   6    17   18   −1    28
12 Greater Erroropolis SC        14    3   5   6    26   27   −1    25
13 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      14    4   2   8    16   26  −10    24
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          14    3   2   9    16   24   −8    19
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          14    1   4   9     4   18  −14    13
16 Bognobb FC                    14    1   2  11     4   24  −20     9

WEEK 21
IFCF Cup Winners' Cup - Preliminary Round - First Leg

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1-3 Akamatsu Laurel SC (APH)
unknown 32' - (0-1)
te'Kotr 44' - (1-1)
unknown 70' - (1-2)
unknown 90'+1 - (1-3)

CEdC - Group Stage - MD5

Maharlika Marulas (SFI) 0-1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Anastasyasdottyr 22' - (0-1)

Xat'i Paradystopi 7-2 Deportivo Pequeña Melilla (FHU)
T'ut'sii 18' - (1-0)
Rsheu 25' - (2-0)
Rsheu 43' - (3-0)
Grakiju 51' - (4-0)
unknown 59' - (4-1)
Rsheu 65' - (5-1)
Rhisje 88' - (6-1)
unknown 90'+1 - (6-2)
Hleqrru 90'+3 - (7-2)

FLoP Rondeau - Round 1 - Second Leg

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 1–0 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun (1-1 agg. 1–1 AET. 5–4 pen.)
Roper 77' - (1-0)

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–2 Xat'i Paradystopi (0-3 agg.)
Hlosgho 72' - (0-1)
Jankhukh 80' - (0-2)

Querentes Oeopolis 0–1 Greater Erroropolis SC (1-4 agg.)
Pond 90'+1 - (0-1)

Random Penguins XI 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle (3-1 agg.)
Olii 78' - (1-0)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 1–2 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens (3-3 agg. 3-4 AET)
Belic 55' - (1-0)
Xhowro 71' - (1-1)
Kusuma 83' - (1-2)
e.t.
Longpaw 117' - (1-3)

Bognobb FC 2–3 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad (2-5 agg.)
Schlumpp 11' - (1-0)
Znudds 39' - (1-1)
Janasdottyr 55' - (1-2)
Squatnose 78' - (2-2)
Smitt 82' - (2-3)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 2–1 Farslum Hoo SC (3-3 agg. 5–3 AET)
Suarez (p.) 42' - (1-0)
Dastont 70' - (2-0)
Kharpathwa 79' - (2-1)
e.t.
Chaplin (p.) 99' - (3-1)
Chaplin 120'+1 - (4-1)

WEEK 21
IFCF Cup Winners' Cup - Preliminary Round - Second Leg

Akamatsu Laurel SC (APH) 0-1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (3-2 agg.)
Xhowro 62' - (0-1)

CEdC - Group Stage - MD6

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1-0 Empilot United FC (BRP)
te'Kotr 9' - (1-0)

Dortmund Schwarz (KAU) 0-3 Xat'i Paradystopi
Iajohn 20' - (0-1)
Grakiju 67' - (0-2)
Iajohn 80' - (0-3)

FLoP - MD15

Greater Erroropolis SC 3–3 Farslum Hoo SC
Linderoth 42' - (0-1)
Filthy (o.g.) 45'+1 - (0-2)
Borgen 59' - (0-3)
Message 70' - (1-3)
Pond 89' - (2-3)
Pedro 90'+2 - (3-3)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–2 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Borisova 19' - (0-1)
Longfur 33' - (0-2)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 0–1 Querentes Oeopolis
Stone (p.) 88' - (0-1)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–1 Xat'i Paradystopi
Hlosgho 79' - (0-1)
Rudar 90'+1 - (1-1)
Tzedryksson 90'+4 - (2-1)

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 3–3 AC Oeopolis Northern
Sosjian 17' - (1-0)
Herringhunter 23' - (1-1)
Scabbardeer 44' - (2-1)
Sosjian 53' - (3-1)
Looney 59' - (3-2)
van den Aohs 82' - (3-3)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Anastasyasdottyr 33' - (0-1)
Dutta 71' - (0-2)

Random Penguins XI 2–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Olii 2' - (1-0)
Thusk 24' - (2-0)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 5–1 Bognobb FC
Chaplin 1' - (1-0)
Soks 6' - (2-0)
Chaplin 19' - (3-0)
Chaplin (p.) 26' - (4-0)
Soks 43' - (5-0)
Whelknip 88' - (5-1)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             15   10   3   2    39   19  +20    56
 2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    15    9   4   2    25   15  +10    53
 3 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      15    8   5   2    22   14   +8    50
 4 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   15    9   1   5    29   22   +7    47
 5 Farslum Hoo SC                15    8   3   4    31   27   +4    46
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   15    8   3   4    16   13   +3    46
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            15    7   4   4    32   26   +6    43
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         15    6   5   4    32   29   +3    40
 9 Random Penguins XI            15    5   4   6    19   18   +1    33
10 AC Pantsdon Shandy            15    5   3   7    16   18   −2    31
11 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      15    5   2   8    18   26   −8    29
12 Barkentyne Abertynkle         15    4   4   7    17   20   −3    28
13 Greater Erroropolis SC        15    3   6   6    29   30   −1    27
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          15    3   2  10    16   26  −10    19
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          15    1   5   9     7   21  −14    15
16 Bognobb FC                    15    1   2  12     5   29  −24     9

WEEKS 23-26 - No Matches/Winter Break

Hiya Paradystopia. It's me, Jill Prendergast alongside my co-host ...
Kwrao the Magnificent!
'The Magnificent'? Is this your new moniker now?
I mean, it could be? Has a certain ring to it, don't you think?
I suppose, with a few heady overtones of hubris. Does make you sound a little like a stage magician though.
Pah. Anyway, I only claim to be the magnificent on account of my obvious skills in foresight. The Xat'i are still on for the quadruple, albeit with the Challengers Cup as opposed to the Champions League but hey ho, still a quadruple. Just you wait, Paradystopi league and Rondeau champions, as well as Esportivan champions and ... ermm ... Champion challengers?
I see. Granted, the Xat'i are through to the Challengers Cup knockouts, and are as yet undefeated in the Esportivan Campionato, but there is still a long way to go yet. I mean, do the Xat'i have the idiom 'don't count your chickens'?
Of course! 'Don't count your chickens after you've eaten them'. As in, stupid actions provoke stupid answers ... I don't actually see the relevance here though.
Actually, it's ... well, nevermind. I just saying that there's some very strong teams in both those competitions. As well as the fact that the Xat'i are not exactly running away with the FLoP either. It's surprisingly close at this point, only ten points separating the top six teams. It could've been larger had the Xat'i not dropped points to Troglograd last week.
Hmph. Well that kind of proves my point, does it not? Even with a loss to the Zlatari, we're still on top. And as for these supposed 'very strong teams' in the international competitions, pfft, you act like the Xat'i don't fall within that category.
I'm not sure 'very strong teams' lose at home to the Penguins in week 5 ...
You're not going to drop that, are you?
Absolutely not.
Yes, well, fine. So the Xat'i haven't been totally dominant, but given their schedule, and other factors, we have to accept the occasional blip every now and then.
Mmhmm. 'Other factors'?
Yes, you know. 'Stuff', chaos, the natural unpredictability of things?
Pre-emptively using philosophy as an excuse is a new one for you.
Yeah, well, shut up ... Anyway, moving on ...
Indeed. So, Oldetoun. This season's certainly looking more promising for them than the last. I feel that Patrick Smith-Cocker has secured his managerial spot with his team sitting pretty in third with only two losses at the halfway point. Only a mere three points behind rivals Saltquarry too. Are we in for a battle of Newetoun for IFCF placings next season?
It's looking that way. The Urbsclavium teams aren't quite matching the consistency of Saltquarry and Oldetoun, and with a bolstered Hoo in the mix, it's looking like it's going to be a real fight for second through fourth and IFCF qualification. I'll tell you who's impressed me though ...
The Hoo's have impressed you?
Sorry? Who?
The Hoo. Farslum.
Oh, no. Well, they have been good. Dropped off the pace a little recently though but no. Querentes.
Really? Well, no, I see what you mean. They have suffered a little with consistency too but to say that with half of the old Erroropolis squad they're within touching distance of the top spots, well, kudos to Marcela Ramos. A very shrewd signing there.
I do think they are one to keep an eye on, even if they are from south of the border. Word has it that the top Erroropolisish Paradystopi team will be getting a place in the CEdC for next season. A spot each for Paradystopi champion, and Erroropolisish ... ermm ... best-placed finisher and I'm hard pressed to see either Erroropolis SC, or Bognobb FC overtaking them. Anyway, yes, they might not be quite 'up there', but they're also not floundering either.
As we touched on it briefly, do you think the Hoo will make it into international competition again at the end of this season?
Who?
The Hoo ... Farslum
Oh. Hmmm ... Hard to call it really. They've really built a decent squad and the fact they're into the Associations Trophy knock-outs is testament to that but ... hmmm ... I honestly don't know. I mean, it's gonna be the Xat'i going to the Champions League, then likely Saltquarry in second. Third, well, you'd expect the Vidders to pull it together, but given how Oldetoun are going, they could steal it, and that leaves a fight between Farslum, maybe Oldetoun, maybe Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja, and then maybe the Ossies, and possibly even the Querentes. Troglograd even, if they build on their recent victory over the Xat'i. It's hard to say at this point. Really hard in fact.
For me, as much as it pains me to say it, I think the Xat'i will take the top spot. Maybe not as comfortably as previous seasons, but well, they've got precedent for it too. Second, hmmm ... you know what, I'm going to stick my neck out and say Oldetoun. They're revitalised, pretty solid defensively, I think they're going to snatch second ahead of their rivals. So Saltquarry in third, and then ... hmmm ... Farslum. Yeah, Farslum in fourth when the Vidders repeat their epic choke from last season.
Hmm. Bold predictions. Wooden spoon predictions?
Well, Bognobb. Who else?
Yeah, I agree with you there. Why are they even in the league, they're useless.
Erroropolisish representation, I think. Anyway, in other close run contests, Top goalscorer for the season.
It's gonna be Rsheu. Easy.
You say that, but I think Brianne Chaplin and Honksalot Slaptail might have something to say about it. All currently with 10 league goals.
Yeah, but what about all season goals?
Fair point. Rsheu is currently on 21 if you count every match this season so far. Six ahead of Grakiju on 15. Then Brianne Chaplin and Meadin Sahilu on 14.
Sjiu top for clean sheets too, I bet.
Tied with Harold King FLoP-wise, though most across all games. She has 13, Rhuxe has 11, then King with his 9.
See? With stats like that, how can you doubt the Xat'i?
Well, with all their international endeavours, the Xat'i play more games than anyone else, so surely you'd expect them to have the most across everything?
Pah. Humanoid skill issue is all I'm hearing.

# Top Ten FLoP (League & Rondeau) Goalscorers
1 Rsheu                     Xat'i Paradystopi             10
= Brianne Chaplin           New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    10
= Honksalot Slaptail        Greater Erroropolis SC        10
4 Error Message             Greater Erroropolis SC         9
= Iona Schlippe             Barkentyne Abertynkle          9
= Iain Thusk                Random Penguins XI             9
7 David Rodrigo             SK Zlatari Troglograd          8
= Clifford Stone            Querentes Oeopolis             8
9 Grakjiu                   Xat'i Paradystopi              7
= Amelya Anastasyasdottyr   AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja    7
= Rhiagr                    Xat'i Paradystopi              7
= Daavidts Prosyakić        SK Zlatari Troglograd          7

# Top Ten FLoP (League & Rondeau) Clean Sheets
1 Sjiu                    Xat'i Paradystopi              9
= Harold King             SC Oldetoun New Newetoun       9
3 Qrouj                   Random Penguins XI             8
4 Klara av Steinbruddet   New Newetoun Saltquarry SC     7
= Aynarde Desprez         AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens    7
6 Rhuxe                   AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja    6
= Forla Agnesdottyr       Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad       6
8 Justyna Moon            AC Pantsdon Shandy             5
9 Zlatana Nykwyst         Farslum Hoo SC                 4
= Granville Halibut       Querentes Oeopolis             4

by **Paradystopia** » Tue Feb 24, 2026 2:04 pm

WEEK 27
FLoP - MD16

Farslum Hoo SC 1–0 Bognobb FC
Kharpathwa 72' - (1-0)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 6–2 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Soks 3' - (1-0)
Obscaix 43' - (2-0)
Chaplin 49' - (3-0)
Soks 52' - (4-0)
Suarez 54' - (5-0)
Ralfkinson 68' - (5-1)
Brown 89' - (6-1)
Pongo 90'+2 - (6-2)

Random Penguins XI 2–3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
C.Longwhiskers 11' - (1-0)
te'Kotr 24' - (1-1)
te'Kotr 40' - (1-2)
Xhowro 73' - (1-3)
Y.Longwhiskers 85' - (2-3)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 3–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
Schlippe (p.) 55' - (1-0)
Schlippe 59' - (2-0)
Schlippe (p.) 71' - (3-0)

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 3–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
Hleqrru 22' - (0-1)
Jim 39' - (0-2)
Grey 45' - (1-2)
Sosjian 51' - (2-2)
Hleqrru 56' - (2-3)
Sosjian 69' - (3-3)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–4 Querentes Oeopolis
Qut'ii 29' - (1-0)
Fothering-Bong 49' - (1-1)
Scamperer 55' - (1-2)
Qut'ii 68' - (2-2)
Skipperer 78' - (2-3)
Orahn 89' - (2-4)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–0 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
de Bolo 90'+1 - (1-0)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 2–3 Greater Erroropolis SC
Slaptail 1' - (0-1)
Smith-Borgen 52' - (0-2)
Vestyngs (p.) 58' - (1-2)
Vestyngs (p.) 77' - (2-2)
Message 84' - (2-3)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             16   10   4   2    42   22  +20    58
 2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    16   10   4   2    31   17  +14    58
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   16   10   1   5    32   24   +8    52
 4 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      16    8   6   2    25   17   +8    52
 5 Farslum Hoo SC                16    9   3   4    32   27   +5    51
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   16    9   3   4    17   13   +4    51
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            16    8   4   4    36   28   +8    48
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         16    6   5   5    34   33   +1    40
 9 Random Penguins XI            16    5   4   7    21   21    0    33
10 Barkentyne Abertynkle         16    5   4   7    20   20    0    33
11 Greater Erroropolis SC        16    4   6   6    32   32    0    32
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy            16    5   3   8    18   21   −3    31
13 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      16    5   2   9    18   27   −9    29
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          16    3   2  11    18   32  −14    19
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          16    1   5  10     7   24  −17    15
16 Bognobb FC                    16    1   2  13     5   30  −25     9

WEEK 28
IFCF Challengers Cup - Round of 32 - First Leg

Xat'i Paradystopi 1-1 Mar Sara FC (VAL)
Rhiagr 66' - (1-0)
unknown 71' - (1-1)

Associations Trophy - Round of 32 - First Leg

Farslum Hoo SC 3–1 VfB München 1900 (KAU)
Sahilu 29' - (1-0)
Blade 53' - (2-0)
unknown (p.) 72' - (2-1)
Cobbler 77' - (3-1)

FLoP Rondeau - Round 2 - First Leg

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–3 Random Penguins XI
Olii 3' - (0-1)
Olii 7' - (0-2)
Thusk 24' - (0-3)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 1–2 Greater Erroropolis SC
Kventynsson 31' - (1-0)
Pond 70' - (1-1)
Message (p.) 82' - (1-2)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 2–2 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
te'Kotr 62' - (1-0)
Manywhiskers 68' - (1-1)
Anastasyasdottyr 79' - (2-1)
Manywhiskers 90' - (2-2)

Xat'i Paradystopi 3–6 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Rsheu 4' - (1-0)
Soks 6' - (1-1)
Grakiju 18' - (2-1)
Suarez 42' - (2-2)
Soks 45'+1 - (2-3)
T'ut'sii 58' - (3-3)
Soks 63' - (3-4)
Adzer 77' - (3-5)
Waterdancer 90'+1 - (3-6)

FLoP - MD17

AC Pantsdon Shandy 2–3 Farslum Hoo SC
Kokusic 70' - (1-0)
Linderoth 77' - (1-1)
Quartermeister 84' - (1-2)
Wobblebottom 89' - (2-2)
Carpenter 90'+2 - (2-3)

Greater Erroropolis SC 1–1 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Black 37' - (0-1)
Message (p.) 70' - (1-1)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 1–0 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Longfur 77' - (1-0)

Querentes Oeopolis 0–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Kolar (o.g.) 22' - (0-1)

Xat'i Paradystopi 4–3 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Rhisje 21' - (1-0)
Rhisje 50' - (2-0)
Wakkis 57' - (3-0)
Schlippe 67' - (3-1)
Hlao 71' - (3-2)
Rhisje 73' - (4-2)
Rhaume 89' - (4-3)

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–1 Random Penguins XI
Olii 30' - (0-1)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1–0 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Bexton 90'+2 - (1-0)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–0 Bognobb FC
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             17   11   4   2    46   25  +21    63
 2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    17   10   4   3    31   18  +13    58
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   17   11   1   5    33   24   +9    57
 4 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      17    9   6   2    26   17   +9    57
 5 Farslum Hoo SC                17   10   3   4    35   29   +6    56
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   17    9   4   4    18   14   +4    53
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            17    8   4   5    36   29   +7    48
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         17    6   5   6    34   34    0    40
 9 Random Penguins XI            17    6   4   7    22   21   +1    38
10 Greater Erroropolis SC        17    4   7   6    33   33    0    34
11 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      17    6   2   9    19   27   −8    34
12 Barkentyne Abertynkle         17    5   4   8    23   24   −1    33
13 AC Pantsdon Shandy            17    5   3   9    20   24   −4    31
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          17    3   3  11    18   32  −14    21
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          17    1   5  11     7   25  −18    15
16 Bognobb FC                    17    1   3  13     5   30  −25    11

Transcript of a short conversation between two St.Agnant's fans
"Bloody travesty that wuz."
"Aye Fred. Ah never thort ah'd see awer Wampers git rollocked bah sum chuffin' pengwins."
"At 'ome an' all. Dunt filluz wi ah rate load o' contfidenz fuh seckund leg, duzzit?"
"Aye, it dunt."
"T'be fayer tu'em, theh dunt ackchly haz eny pengwins ont' roster anymoer."
"'tiz tru t'beonist."
"Ah wuz wundrin' ackchly ..."
"Wuz tha, Fred?"
"Ah wuz, Bob. Ah wuz wundrin' oo'd be ont' a top pengwin skwod? Tha noez, wonothem fantizzy teemz, lahk."
"Well, yud 'avtuav Jim."
"Aye Bob. Thatsagivvun."
"Then, well, ah'd probly 'av that Pedro lad."
"Thewonat t'Erroropolis?"
"Aye, 'im. Eez awlrate."
"Worrabaht Karen?"
"Aye Fred, ah'd probly 'av Karen int'lineup."
"Duz tha think mutch o'that payr at Bognobb?"
"'einrick an' 'olger?"
"Aye Bob, thowz wonz."
"T'tell thit'troof, ah carnt sey ah'm partickly familiyer wi'em. They gud?"
"T'tell thit'troof Bob, theyrabit shit."
"Fayr dooz, Fred. 'ow meny 'azwigot thus fahr?"
"Three Bob."
"Widneed afyu moer furraskwod then."
"Aye Bob, wi'wud."

Translation of the above
"I am rather displeased at the standard of football I just witnessed."
"Indeed Frederick. I myself am most incredulous to have seen St. Agnant's suffer such a defeat to mere penguins."
"At our home stadium nonetheless. I am not expectant of a positive result in the second leg."
"Me neither."
"Speaking earnestly, our opponent's no longer feature penguins on their teamsheet."
"You make a valid point."
"This brings to mind something one had been musing upon."
"Musing, were you Frederick?"
"Indeed I was Robert. I found myself pondering upon which names would feature in a premier line-up comprised solely of penguins, akin to a fantasy team."
"I postulate that the inclusion of Jim be assumed."
"Indeed Robert, most certainly."
"After which I would probably include Pedro."
"The penguin at Greater Erroropolis SC?"
"Yes, the very same. I personally rate his abilities."
"Would you also include Karen?"
"Yes Robert, I concur with the proposed inclusion of Karen."
"How would you gauge the proficiency of the duo who play for Bognobb FC?"
"Are you referring to Heinrich and Holger?"
"That I am, Robert."
"To be perfectly honest, I am unaware of their individual standard of play. Would you classify them as capable?"
"To be perfectly honest Robert, I would consider their talents 'poor' at best."
"Very well Frederick. Remind me, at what number do we currently stand?"
"Three Robert"
"This number is insufficient for a functioning football team."
"Yes Robert, an astute observation."

by **Paradystopia** » Wed Feb 25, 2026 2:01 am

WEEK 29
IFCF Challengers Cup - Round of 32 - Second Leg

Mar Sara FC (VAL) 0-1 Xat'i Paradystopi (1-2 agg.)
Njawrao 77' - (0-1)

IFCF Associations Trophy - Round of 32 - Second Leg

VfB München 1900 (KAU) 1-1 Farslum Hoo SC (2-4 agg.)
unknown 22' - (1-0)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 38' - (1-1)

FLoP - MD18

Farslum Hoo SC 3–4 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Aljushbe 30' - (1-0)
Periwinkle 52' - (1-1)
Fisher 57' - (2-1)
Eestlea 68' - (2-2)
Eestlea 77' - (2-3)
Carpenter 84' - (3-3)
Robertsdottyr 89' - (3-4)

Bognobb FC 0–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Tippytapper 13' - (0-1)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 0–1 AC Oeopolis Northern
van den Aohs (p.) 79' - (0-1)

Random Penguins XI 1–1 Xat'i Paradystopi
Wakkis 72' - (0-1)
Jangletrousers 76' - (1-1)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 2–3 Querentes Oeopolis
Rhaume 4' - (1-0)
Scamperer 36' - (1-1)
Orahn 42' - (1-2)
Smith-Sprinkles 83' - (1-3)
Norden 90'+1 - (2-3)

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 3–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Minglor 18' - (1-0)
Grey 43' - (2-0)
Znudds (p.) 57' - (2-1)
Rickles 59' - (3-1)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 1–1 Greater Erroropolis SC
Igoric 62' - (1-0)
Pond 74' - (1-1)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Manywhiskers 10' - (1-0)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             18   11   5   2    47   26  +21    65
 2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      18   10   6   2    29   18  +11    62
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   18   12   1   5    34   24  +10    62
 4 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    18   10   4   4    31   19  +12    58
 5 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   18   10   4   4    19   14   +5    58
 6 Farslum Hoo SC                18   10   3   5    38   33   +5    56
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            18    9   4   5    39   31   +8    53
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         18    6   6   6    35   35    0    42
 9 Random Penguins XI            18    6   5   7    23   22   +1    40
10 Greater Erroropolis SC        18    4   8   6    34   34    0    36
11 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      18    6   2  10    20   30  −10    34
12 Barkentyne Abertynkle         18    5   4   9    25   27   −2    33
13 AC Pantsdon Shandy            18    5   3  10    20   25   −5    31
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          18    4   3  11    22   35  −13    26
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          18    2   5  11     8   25  −17    20
16 Bognobb FC                    18    1   3  14     5   31  −26    11

WEEK 30
IFCF Challengers Cup - Round of 16 - First Leg

FK Metropola Borograd (STL) 4–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
Grakiju 3' - (0-1)
Rsheu 11' - (0-2)
unknown 37' - (1-2)
Iajohn 44' - (1-3)
unknown 66' - (2-3)
unknown 71' - (3-3)
unknown 85' - (4-3)

IFCF Associations Trophy - Round of 16 - First Leg

Vikings of Lei FC (HNL) 1-1 Farslum Hoo SC
unknown 29' - (1-0)
Sahilu 57' - (1-1)

FLoP - MD19

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 3–0 Farslum Hoo SC
Manywhiskers 19' - (1-0)
Zigismundis 31' - (2-0)
Zigismundis 52' - (3-0)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 1–1 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Rodrigo 27' - (0-1)
Limpitlicker 71' - (1-1)

Greater Erroropolis SC 1–2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Bortland (p.) 4' - (0-1)
Rickles 36' - (0-2)
Robertson-Cooper 85' - (1-2)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 1–1 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Shchyov 89' - (1-0)
Thickpelt 90'+2 - (1-1)

Querentes Oeopolis 4–2 Random Penguins XI
Fothering-Bong 4' - (1-0)
Saltman 11' - (2-0)
Stone 40' - (3-0)
Thusk (p.) 49' - (3-1)
Skibbles 54' - (4-1)
Olii 73' - (4-2)

Xat'i Paradystopi 3–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Njawrao 19' - (1-0)
Njawrao 34' - (2-0)
Chaplin 41' - (2-1)
Hleqrru 77' - (3-1)

AC Oeopolis Northern 1–0 Bognobb FC
Looney 69' - (1-0)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1–1 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Ralfkinson 45'+2 - (0-1)
Kusuma 78' - (1-1)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             19   12   5   2    50   27  +23    70
 2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      19   11   6   2    31   19  +12    67
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   19   12   2   5    35   25  +10    64
 4 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   19   11   4   4    22   14   +8    63
 5 Querentes Oeopolis            19   10   4   5    43   33  +10    58
 6 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    19   10   4   5    32   22  +10    58
 7 Farslum Hoo SC                19   10   3   6    38   36   +2    56
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         19    6   7   6    36   36    0    44
 9 Random Penguins XI            19    6   5   8    25   26   −1    40
10 Greater Erroropolis SC        19    4   8   7    35   36   −1    36
11 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      19    6   3  10    21   31  −10    36
12 Barkentyne Abertynkle         19    5   5   9    26   28   −2    35
13 AC Pantsdon Shandy            19    5   4  10    21   26   −5    33
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          19    4   4  11    23   36  −13    28
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          19    3   5  11     9   25  −16    25
16 Bognobb FC                    19    1   3  15     5   32  −27    11

Hiya Paradystopia. It's me, Jill Prendergast, with my co-host ...
I fucking hate the penguins
... with my co-host, Kwrao, who wishes to make his dislike of penguins apparent.
Seriously though. That's both times this season that the Xat'i have failed to demolish the penguins. It's ridiculous.
To be fair to them, they're on a good run of form currently. A strong victory in the Rondeau, another five points over AC Oeopolis. As well as the fact that the Xat'i were coming off the back of a hard-fought match in Valanora and resting some of their key players as a result.
Pfft. No excuse. It's the damn penguins, should be an easy five points regardless of the team we field.
Luckily though for the Xat'i, week 29 turned out to be the week of upsets. Unexpected losses for both Saltquarry and Farslum. In fact, I did notice you were sporting an Oeopolis shirt. I assume that's not a sign of you changing allegiances?
Hahaha. Good one! Why across the enormous breadth of the Multiverse would I do that?! Everyone knows, or at least should know, that the Xat'i are unequivocally the best team in existence. This shirt is more in support of ... what's the word ... Schadenfreude, that's it. There's little more amusing that witnessing the Xat'i have an uncharacteristic slip-up, only for their biggest, albeit a minor one, threat to the title stumble at home against a load of fishermen from moron island. Same goes for the Hoo losing a seven-goal scorefest to a bunch of turnip farmers. 'tis peak comedy, it is.
I do feel that some of the Saltquarry fans would like to remind you of the Xat'i having a three-goal deficit to overcome against the New Newetoun team in the Rondeau.
Pah. If they can't beat Oeopolis Northern at home, that'll be easy.
Anyway, moving on to other teams vying for top spots who didn't suffer upsets, Oldetoun. Only two losses so far this season. Patrick Smith-Cocker is obviously doing something right and they're now a mere three points off top spot. Are we going to see a bounce back after the disappointing results of last season?
Meh. There's still plenty of time for them to cock it up. To be fair to them though, they are looking good-ish, I guess, for IFCF qualification presently.
Held you guys to a draw in week 27.
And why was that? Fucking Sosjian, a Xat'i. Without their Xat'i talent, they've have been thrashed. He turned down a transfer to the Xat'i this season, you know?
I did not know that.
Yeah, tried to get Rhuxe as a sub goalie from the Vidders too. Also rejected.
Well, a first team keeper of a strong league team accepting a substitute role is a bit of a long shot.
But Xat'i Paradystopi! Not just any stupid team.
Apparently different Xat'i have different principles.
... stupid principles, you mean ...
Also on the topic of teams vying for top spots, AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens. Could they finally see some international matches? Currently in fourth after a thrashing of Farslum, are they finding their groove now with Keith Mordenholm at the helm?
...Urgh ... I hope not. Bloody awful post-football dogshit.
If it works, it works.
Didn't work for Pantsdon Shandy, did it? I'd honestly rather watch a replay of the penguins beating the Xat'i on a loop over watching the Ossies. So fucking passive, cynical, and just ... well, ugly.
That is kind of the point though?
I hate it.
You hate a lot of things.
True, but I really hate this Audioslavian and Ko-orenite nonsense. I want to see goals, and fast, enthralling play. Not two fucking wing-backs switching play back and forth for thirty minutes.
That's fair enough, but doesn't answer my question.
Bleh ... Maybe? But I really hope not. I guess it's mostly infuriating because the Ossies have the potential for a decent attacking line-up, but opt to barely utilise it.
What of Querentes then? Up to fifth, could they be in with a chance of troubling the top spots.
Oh, yes please.
Ok ... that was ... unexpected. From you anyway.
Of course I like Querentes now, they beat those fucking penguins last week didn't they?

by **Paradystopia** » Thu Feb 26, 2026 1:59 am

WEEK 31
IFCF Challengers Cup - Round of 16 - Second Leg

Xat'i Paradystopi 0-2 FK Metropola Borograd (STL) (3-6 agg.)
unknown 59' - (0-1)
unknown 72' - (0-2)

IFCF Associations Trophy - Round of 16 - Second Leg

Farslum Hoo SC 1-1 Vikings of Lei FC (HNL) (2-2 agg, 2-4 AET)
Cobbler 31' - (1-0)
unknown 85' - (1-1)
e.t.
Farris (o.g.) 111' - (1-2)
unknown 120'+1 - (1-3)

CEdC - Round of 16 - First Leg

Bartholomew FC (BRP) 0-2 Xat'i Paradystopi
Jim 20' - (0-1)
Rhiagr 29' - (0-2)

FC Lubac (SFI) 2-3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
unknown 14' - (1-0)
Dutta 43' - (1-1)
Anastasyasdottyr 49' - (1-2)
unknown 73' - (2-2)
Tippytapper 85' - (2-3)

FLoP - MD20

Farslum Hoo SC 2–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Linderoth 18' - (1-0)
Kharpathwa 38' - (2-0)
te'Kotr (p.) 71' - (2-1)
Tippytapper 75' - (2-2)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 1–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
Periwinkle 53' - (1-0)

Bognobb FC 0–2 Xat'i Paradystopi
Grakiju 4' - (0-1)
Grakiju 11' - (0-2)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 4–1 Querentes Oeopolis
Chaplin 19' - (1-0)
Dingle 40' - (2-0)
Chaplin (p.) 44' - (3-0)
Smith-Sprinkles 89' - (3-1)
Njalha 90'+2 - (4-1)

Random Penguins XI 1–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Olii 2' - (1-0)
Mokre 90'+1 - (1-1)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 1–3 Greater Erroropolis SC
Hlao 18' - (1-0)
Pond 37' - (1-1)
Slaptail 72' - (1-2)
Pedro 88' - (1-3)

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–1 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Robertsson 20' - (0-1)
Bortland (p.) 39' - (1-1)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 0–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             20   13   5   2    52   27  +25    75
 2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      20   11   7   2    32   20  +12    69
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   20   12   3   5    37   27  +10    66
 4 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   20   11   5   4    22   14   +8    65
 5 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    20   11   4   5    36   23  +13    63
 6 Querentes Oeopolis            20   10   4   6    44   37   +7    58
 7 Farslum Hoo SC                20   10   4   6    40   38   +2    58
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         20    6   8   6    36   36    0    46
 9 Random Penguins XI            20    6   6   8    26   27   −1    42
10 Greater Erroropolis SC        20    5   8   7    38   37   +1    41
11 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      20    6   4  10    22   32  −10    38
12 Barkentyne Abertynkle         20    5   5  10    27   31   −4    35
13 AC Pantsdon Shandy            20    5   5  10    22   27   −5    35
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          20    5   4  11    24   36  −12    33
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          20    3   5  12     9   26  −17    25
16 Bognobb FC                    20    1   3  16     5   34  −29    11

WEEK 32
CEdC - Round of 16 - Second Leg

Xat'i Paradystopi 2-1 Bartholomew FC (BRP) (4-1 agg.)
Rsheu 21' - (1-0)
Grakiju 27' - (2-0)
unknown 87' - (2-1)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1-2 FC Lubac (SFI) (4-4 agg, 4-4 aet, 3-4 pen)
unknown 50' - (0-1)
unknown 59' - (0-2)
Kusuma 77' - (1-2)

FLoP Rondeau - Second Round - Second Leg

Random Penguins XI 3–1 St. Agnant's Wamp SC (6-1 agg.)
Olii 3' - (1-0)
Olii 26' - (2-0)
Jangletrousers 67' - (3-0)
Bean 73' - (3-1)

Greater Erroropolis SC 0–4 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad (2-5 agg.)
Longfur 29' - (0-1)
Mossing 38' - (0-2)
Longfur 44' - (0-3)
Longfur 58' - (0-4)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 2–3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (4-5 agg.)
Zigismundis 52' - (1-0)
Wobblebottom 57' - (1-1)
Anastasyasdottyr 63' - (1-2)
Zigismundis 66' - (2-2)
Xhowro 80' - (2-3)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 4–5 Xat'i Paradystopi (10-8 agg.)
Rsheu 4' - (0-1)
Rhiagr 6' - (0-2)
Rhiagr 29' - (0-3)
Rsheu 37' - (0-4)
Suarez 44' - (1-4)
Adzer 53' - (2-4)
Suarez 62' - (3-4)
Wakkis 80' - (3-5)
Waterdancer 89' - (4-5)

FLoP - MD21

SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–3 Farslum Hoo SC
Rodrigo 20' - (1-0)
Dolan 39' - (2-0)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 57' - (2-1)
Sahilu 79' - (2-2)
Sahilu (p.) 88'- (2-3)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 3–2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Morganasdottyr 34' - (1-0)
Rickles 58' - (1-1)
Rickles 68' - (1-2)
John 77' - (2-2)
Manywhiskers 82' - (3-2)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Vestyngs (p.) 79' - (1-0)

Greater Erroropolis SC 2–4 Random Penguins XI
Message 1' - (1-0)
Thusk 28' - (1-1)
Thusk 36' - (1-2)
Pond 42' - (2-2)
Thusk (p.) 45'+2 - (2-3)
Thusk 54' - (2-4)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 1–3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Suarez 29' - (0-1)
Chaplin 48' - (0-2)
Soks 53' - (0-3)
Janasdottyr 78' - (1-3)

Querentes Oeopolis 1–0 Bognobb FC
Heinrich (o.g.) 90'+2 - (1-0)

Xat'i Paradystopi 3–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Jankhukh 36' - (1-0)
Hleqrru 73' - (2-0)
Hleqrru 81' - (3-0)

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Xhowro 4' - (0-1)
te'Kotr 81' - (0-2)
Bexton 89' - (0-3)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             21   14   5   2    55   27  +28    80
 2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   21   13   3   5    40   27  +13    71
 3 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   21   12   5   4    25   16   +9    70
 4 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      21   11   7   3    34   23  +11    69
 5 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    21   12   4   5    39   24  +15    68
 6 Querentes Oeopolis            21   11   4   6    45   37   +8    63
 7 Farslum Hoo SC                21   11   4   6    43   40   +3    63
 8 Random Penguins XI            21    7   6   8    30   29   +1    47
 9 SK Zlatari Troglograd         21    6   8   7    38   39   −1    46
10 Greater Erroropolis SC        21    5   8   8    40   41   −1    41
11 AC Pantsdon Shandy            21    6   5  10    23   27   −4    40
12 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      21    6   4  11    23   35  −12    38
13 Barkentyne Abertynkle         21    5   5  11    27   32   −5    35
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          21    5   4  12    24   39  −15    33
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          21    3   5  13     9   29  −20    25
16 Bognobb FC                    21    1   3  17     5   35  −30    11

WEEK 33 - No Matches

"Welcome everyone to the Semi-final draw of the FLoP Rondeau. I'm the Chief Operational Officer of the FLoP, Stefan Zbrkan, and assisting me with the draw is my very good friend who you may know the nation's favourite, albeit only, clown statistician, Professor Dingus Digits."
"Hyuk Hyuk. Very, by which I mean not at all happy to be here, Mr Zbrkan."
"Welcome Professor. Do you have any tricks for the kids before we get started?"
"Hyuk. Jebaj ti život, Stefane! Don't fucking push it. Well, Mr Zbrkan, sir, I think everyone's really excited to see who our semi-finalists are going to be up against in Week 37. Though, did you know that 37 is a permutable prime number? Because if you reverse the digits, you get 73, which is also prime."
"Fascinating, Professor."
"Indeed, Mr. Zbrkan. Don't fucking patronise me, you shit. Numbers are truly fascinating!"
"Well, talking of numbers, shall we have a look at what numbers to look out for in the draw? We'll also put them up on the big screen for all the viewers at home."

4. AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
 9. New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
11. Random Penguins XI
15. Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad

"So, the Professor will draw first for the home team in the first leg, and then I shall draw the away teams for the first legs. Everything has been checked? Yes? Brilliant. Shall we begin, Professor?"
"The sooner we get this over, the better. Yes, Mr. Zbrkan, let's get this show on the road!"
"And remember, this is very serious, so no funny business from you, please."
"I'll try. Hyuk hyuk. Try not to ram one the fucking balls up your pompous backside, ti šupak!"
"Wonderful. So Professor, the first ball please."
"Okay, here we go! Hyuk hyuk. And that is a fifteen! The smallest positive number that can be expressed as the difference of two positive squares in more than one way! Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad!"
"Right then, so they will be playing ... number eleven! Random Penguins XI! Eleven, that's also a prime number, right?"
"Righty-ho Mr. Zbrkan, you fucking amateur. Hyuk."
"So, the first semi-final will be Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad versus Random Penguins XI. Of the remaining two teams, let's see who plays the first leg at home. Your turn, Professor."
"Here we go again! That is ... a number six! Hyuk hyuk. Only kidding! It's a nine, the only square number that is the sum of two consecutive, positive cubes. New Newetoun Saltquarry SC!."
"And then for completeness sake, number four. AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja. Four, the first square number, yes?"
"Hyuk. I think you'll find that that's actually number one, Mr. Zbrkan! you absolute fucking moron. Four is the second square number."
"Oh, of course, how silly of me. Anyway, our second semi-final will feature New Newetoun Saltquarry SC versus AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja. I believe that concludes the draw, Professor. Thank you kindly for your time, and hopefully we'll see you again for some more fun numbers and statistics of the FLoP."
"I wouldn't fucking count on it. Hyuk hyuk. Oh, I'd love to, Mr. Zbrkan. There's few things more enjoyable than sharing my love of numbers with Paradystopia and the Multiverse! maybe possibly a large hammer to the head repeatedly."
"Wonderful! I look forward to it as much as I'm looking forward to those scintillating semi-final match-ups. Thank you all for watching."

by **Paradystopia** » Fri Feb 27, 2026 3:04 am

WEEK 33 - No Matches

WEEK 34
FLoP - MD22

Farslum Hoo SC 3–1 AC Oeopolis Northern
Fisher 41' - (1-0)
Sahilu 52' - (2-0)
Sahilu (p.) 59' - (3-0)
Codbobbin 80' - (3-1)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
te'Kotr 5' - (1-0)
te'Kotr 21' - (2-0)
Njawrao 36' - (2-1)
te'Kotr (p.) 63' - (3-1)
Rhorke 72' - (3-2)
Jim 90' - (3-3)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–0 Querentes Oeopolis

Bognobb FC 0–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Smitt 90'+2 - (0-1)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 8–3 Greater Erroropolis SC
Suarez 18' - (1-0)
Chaplin (p.) 31' - (2-0)
Suarez 44' - (3-0)
Adinic 51' - (3-1)
Gallen-Franck 56' - (4-1)
Suarez (p.) 61' - (5-1)
Suarez 63' - (6-1)
Adzer 76' - (7-1)
Slaptail 88' - (7-2)
Bob 90'+1 - (7-3)
Westbridge 90'+5 - (8-3)

Random Penguins XI 2–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Jangletrousers 71' - (1-0)
Olii 88' - (2-0)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 2–0 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Sosjian 10' - (1-0)
Sosjian 22' - (2-0)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             22   14   6   2    58   30  +28    82
 2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      22   12   7   3    36   23  +13    74
 3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    22   13   4   5    47   27  +20    73
 4 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   22   13   4   5    43   30  +13    73
 5 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   22   12   6   4    25   16   +9    72
 6 Farslum Hoo SC                22   12   4   6    46   41   +5    68
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            22   11   5   6    45   37   +8    65
 8 Random Penguins XI            22    8   6   8    32   29   +3    52
 9 SK Zlatari Troglograd         22    6   8   8    38   41   −3    46
10 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      22    7   4  11    24   35  −11    43
11 Greater Erroropolis SC        22    5   8   9    43   49   −6    41
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy            22    6   5  11    23   29   −6    40
13 Barkentyne Abertynkle         22    5   6  11    27   32   −5    37
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          22    5   5  12    24   39  −15    35
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          22    3   5  14    10   32  −22    25
16 Bognobb FC                    22    1   3  18     5   36  −31    11

WEEK 35
FLoP - MD23

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–0 Farslum Hoo SC
Scabbardeer 71' - (1-0)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–1 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Schlippe 37' - (0-1)
Suzanasdottyr 43' - (1-1)
Suzanasdottyr 70' - (2-1)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 3–0 Random Penguins XI
Gryszmeldasdottyr-Scwoggnorrys 21' - (1-0)
Gryszmeldasdottyr-Scwoggnorrys 44' - (2-0)
Zigismundis 59' - (3-0)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Chaplin 30' - (0-1)

Greater Erroropolis SC 1–0 Bognobb FC
Pond 87' - (1-0)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 2–2 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Znudds (p.) 71' - (1-0)
Kventynsson 84' - (2-0)
Bean 89' - (2-1)
Roper 90'+3 - (2-2)

Querentes Oeopolis 0–0 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja

Xat'i Paradystopi 4–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
Rsheu 2' - (1-0)
T'ut'sii 18' - (2-0)
T'ut'sii 24' - (3-0)
Rsheu 40' - (4-0)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             23   15   6   2    62   30  +32    87
 2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      23   13   7   3    37   23  +14    79
 3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    23   14   4   5    48   27  +21    78
 4 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   23   13   6   4    28   16  +12    77
 5 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   23   13   5   5    43   30  +13    75
 6 Farslum Hoo SC                23   12   4   7    46   42   +4    68
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            23   11   6   6    45   37   +8    67
 8 Random Penguins XI            23    8   6   9    32   32    0    52
 9 SK Zlatari Troglograd         23    7   8   8    40   42   −2    51
10 Greater Erroropolis SC        23    6   8   9    44   49   −5    46
11 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      23    7   5  11    26   37  −11    45
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy            23    6   5  12    23   30   −7    40
13 Barkentyne Abertynkle         23    5   6  12    28   34   −6    37
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          23    5   6  12    26   41  −15    37
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          23    3   5  15    10   36  −26    25
16 Bognobb FC                    23    1   3  19     5   37  −32    11

*Ding ding ding ding ding ...*

"What in the blazes! ... "

*... ding ding ding ...*

"... confounded machine ... what is it this time? ... more trouble than it's bloody worth all this stupid technology ... "

* ... ding ding ding ...*

"... alright already, I'm coming, I'm coming! ... blasted pain in the backside ..."

*... ding ding d...*

"Right then. Okay, what was all that noise about, hmm? Let's see. 'New Newetoun Saltquarry beat Greater Erroropolis SC by eight goals to three'? Now why would I care about that!? Hmm. It's just like that time when you started making a massive fuss over Deltic FC beating De Tike FC by six goals to five; I don't even know where 'Deltic' is! Then there was the time before that 'Flavovespia beat Huayramarca by nine goals to one'. At least you calmed down after that madness over those two weeks when you decided to tell me about HOT-DAMN beating Brusselstein by ten goals to three, or when you felt the need to inform me about Banija's eight to three victory over Libonesia before that, and that Audioslavian one also, ten goals to something against someone-or-other. Oh, and the Kordavia one, wherever that is. Gah! What is wrong with this ridiculous contraption? I don't even like blasted football! ... Ok, here we go, 'settings' ... hmmm ... Now when, and why did I tick the 'inform me of ridiculous results in association football' box? ... What possible need is there for a function such as that?! Right, that's that off now anyway. Whilst I'm here, are there any others of these I need to turn off? ... hmmm ... 'Tick this box to be informed about up-to-date turnip prices in your area'? No, thank you. 'Tick here to commit to a regular donation to the Katzeburg Disillusionment Syndrome support line'? I think not. 'Tick here to sign up the Professor Dingus Digits newsletter'? Nope. 'Tick here to pledge your eternal soul to the Most Awesome Dragonlord (terms and conditions apply)'? What in blazes, or who in blazes is a Dragonlord? No, no, no! ... Right ... I think that's everything in order ... ok, 'Accept changes'. Hmmm ..."

* ... *

"Ok, that's promising ... "

*Ding ding d...*

"WHAT NOW?! ... Hmm ... 'Anewkansas beat The Kytler Peninsulae by eighteen to six'? ... I thought I just turned off that stupid thing? ... Gah! 'Settings' ... Lacrosse?! Are you seriously telling me I have to manually turn off that feature for each individual sport?! ... ruddy stupid technology ...

by **Paradystopia** » Fri Feb 27, 2026 8:50 am

WEEK 36
CEdC - Quarter-Final - First Leg

Blubeck FC (KAT) 3-0 Xat'i Paradystopi
unknown 24' - (1-0)
unknown 55' - (2-0)
unknown 79' - (3-0)

FLoP - MD24

Farslum Hoo SC 4–2 Xat'i Paradystopi
Njawrao 4' - (0-1)
Kharpathwa 40' - (1-1)
Iajohn 44' - (1-2)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 63' - (2-2)
Sahilu 70' - (3-2)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 81' - (4-2)

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–2 Querentes Oeopolis
Scamperer 66' - (0-1)
Fothering-Bong 71' - (0-2)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1–0 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Anastasyasdottyr 11' - (1-0)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–3 Greater Erroropolis SC
Pond 22' - (0-1)
Pedro 25' - (0-2)
Robertson-Cooper 67' - (0-3)

Bognobb FC 2–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Schlumpp 37' - (1-0)
Svensson (p.) 57' - (2-0)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 2–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Chaplin 66' - (1-0)
Dingle 79' - (2-0)

Random Penguins XI 1–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Thusk 55' - (1-0)
Qut'ii 80' - (1-1)
Rudar 90' - (1-2)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 2–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Grey 38' - (0-1)
Schlippe 45'+1 - (1-1)
Hiveman 88' - (2-1)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             24   15   6   3    64   34  +30    87
 2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    24   15   4   5    50   27  +23    83
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   24   14   5   5    44   30  +14    80
 4 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      24   13   7   4    38   25  +13    79
 5 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   24   13   6   5    28   18  +10    77
 6 Farslum Hoo SC                24   13   4   7    50   44   +6    73
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            24   12   6   6    47   37  +10    72
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         24    8   8   8    42   43   −1    56
 9 Random Penguins XI            24    8   6  10    33   34   −1    52
10 Greater Erroropolis SC        24    7   8   9    47   49   −2    51
11 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      24    7   5  12    26   38  −12    45
12 Barkentyne Abertynkle         24    6   6  12    30   35   −5    42
13 AC Pantsdon Shandy            24    6   5  13    23   32   −9    40
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          24    5   6  13    26   44  −18    37
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          24    3   5  16    10   38  −28    25
16 Bognobb FC                    24    2   3  19     7   37  −30    16

WEEK 37
CEdC - Quarter-Final - Second Leg

Xat'i Paradystopi 1-1 Blubeck FC (KAT) (1-4 agg.)
Rhiagr 6' - (1-0)
unknown 11' - (1-1)

FLoP Rondeau - Semi-Final - First Leg

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 4–6 Random Penguins XI
Znudds 13' - (1-0)
Olii 22' - (1-1)
Thusk 39' - (1-2)
Borisova 42' - (2-2)
Longfur 47' - (3-2)
Olii 55' - (3-3)
Olii 59' - (3-4)
Clambanger 70' - (3-5)
Borisova 79' - (4-5)
Fitzulf 90'+1 - (4-6)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 2–4 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Soks 9' - (1-0)
Anastasyasdottyr 31' - (1-1)
te'Kotr 55' - (1-2)
Kusuma 62' - (1-3)
Schlippe 81' - (2-3)
Dongler 90'+2 - (2-4)

FLoP - MD25

Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–0 Farslum Hoo SC

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–0 Random Penguins XI
Minglor 77' - (1-0)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 0–2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Adzer 22' - (0-1)
Soks 88' - (0-2)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 2–0 Bognobb FC
Zigismundis 10' - (1-0)
Black 38' - (2-0)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 2–1 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Vestyngs (p.) 57' - (1-0)
Eestlea 63' - (1-1)
Nasilnyka (p.) 80' - (2-1)

Greater Erroropolis SC 2–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Smith-Borgen 2' - (1-0)
Dutta 33' - (1-1)
Tippytapper 38' - (1-2)
Pond 45' - (2-2)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 1–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
Shchyov 87' - (1-0)

Querentes Oeopolis 1–0 Xat'i Paradystopi
Stone 79' - (1-0)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    25   16   4   5    52   27  +25    88
 2 Xat'i Paradystopi             25   15   6   4    64   35  +29    87
 3 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      25   14   7   4    39   25  +14    84
 4 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   25   14   6   5    46   32  +14    82
 5 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   25   14   6   5    30   18  +12    82
 6 Querentes Oeopolis            25   13   6   6    48   37  +11    77
 7 Farslum Hoo SC                25   13   5   7    50   44   +6    75
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         25    8   8   9    42   45   −3    56
 9 Greater Erroropolis SC        25    7   9   9    49   51   −2    53
10 Random Penguins XI            25    8   6  11    33   35   −2    52
11 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      25    8   5  12    27   38  −11    50
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy            25    7   5  13    25   33   −8    45
13 Barkentyne Abertynkle         25    6   7  12    30   35   −5    44
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          25    5   6  14    27   46  −19    37
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          25    3   5  17    10   39  −29    25
16 Bognobb FC                    25    2   3  20     7   39  −32    16

Kwrao, come out of the cupboard ... We're on in ten minutes ...
I don't want to. Go away, Jill. Don't make me hiss at you ...
Look, so the Xat'i have had a bad run of form, it's not the end of the world.
Yes, it is. Or it might as well be.
Please come out of the cupboard, Kwrao.
No. Don't want to.
The Xat'i still have every chance of winning the league still. They're only a single point behind Saltquarry and there's always next season's Esportivan competition.
Why did it have to be the Katzeburgians? ... Stupid Xat'i appropriating arseholes ... And then losing to Querentes ... I know I said they were dark horses but I didn't think they'd beat us. It's just embarrassing as well as the fact that I'm gonna have the South Newlandians trolling my social media again. Why are they so mean about Xat'i Paradystopi? It's not fair ...
You do kinda bring it on yourself if I'm honest. Anyway, look, why don't you just come out here, we'll get you cleaned up and then you can rant about whoever you want on the show?
You don't mean that.
I do, regardless of how potentially borderline racist it might be.
... But I like the cupboard. It's safe and dark and comforting ...
Yes, but you also kind of have a contract to do the monthly round-up, regardless of how well, or not, the Xat'i perform on any given month.
I don't want to. Do it without me.
Kwrao, don't make me go get a spray bottle.
Wow. Just, wow. I didn't think you could be so heartless, Jill, I thought we were friends.
Are you coming out then?
I don't wanna talk about the Xat'i losing though. I wanna sulk in solitude, in the dark, in a nice, safe, confined space.
C'mon Kwrao, it's part of the job. You know? Professionalism?
Professionalism can lick my butthole.
Right, I'm going to get the spray bottle ...

by **Erroropolisish Paradystopia** » Sat Feb 28, 2026 1:16 am

WEEK 38
FLoP - MD26

Farslum Hoo SC 3–1 Querentes Erroropolis
Kharpathwa 12' - (1-0)
Kharpathwa 38' - (2-0)
Fothering-Bong 57' - (2-1)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 63' - (3-1)

Xat'i Paradystopi 4–3 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Kventynsson 4' - (0-1)
Longfur 11' - (0-2)
Njawrao 27' - (1-2)
Njawrao 34' - (2-2)
Borisova 52' - (2-3)
Rsheu 54' - (3-3)
Njawrao 69' - (4-3)

AC Erroropolis Northern 0–1 Greater Erroropolis SC
Steve 89' - (0-1)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Tippytapper 22' - (1-0)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens

Bognobb FC 0–0 SK Zlatari Troglograd

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Chaplin 43' - (1-0)
Sosjian 65' - (1-1)

Random Penguins XI 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
C.Longwhiskers 77' - (1-0)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             26   16   6   4    68   38  +30    92
 2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    26   16   5   5    53   28  +25    90
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   26   15   6   5    47   32  +15    87
 4 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      26   14   8   4    40   26  +14    86
 5 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   26   14   7   5    30   18  +12    84
 6 Farslum Hoo SC                26   14   5   7    53   45   +8    80
 7 Querentes Erroropolis         26   13   6   7    49   40   +9    77
 8 Greater Erroropolis SC        26    8   9   9    50   51   −1    58
 9 SK Zlatari Troglograd         26    8   9   9    42   45   −3    58
10 Random Penguins XI            26    9   6  11    34   35   −1    57
11 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      26    8   5  13    30   42  −12    50
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy            26    7   5  14    25   34   −9    45
13 Barkentyne Abertynkle         26    6   7  13    30   36   −6    44
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          26    5   7  14    27   46  −19    39
15 AC Erroropolis Northern       26    3   5  18    10   40  −30    25
16 Bognobb FC                    26    2   4  20     7   39  −32    18

WEEK 39 - No Matches

WEEK 40
FLoP - MD27

Random Penguins XI 0–3 Farslum Hoo SC
Cobbler 37' - (0-1)
Sahilu 52' - (0-2)
Fisher 56' - (0-3)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Adzer 10' - (0-1)
Gallen-Franck 72' - (0-2)
Brown 84' - (0-3)

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 0–0 Bognobb FC

SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–1 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Belic 63' - (1-0)
Belic 68' - (2-0)
Ralfkinson (p.) 77' - (2-1)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 0–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
te'Kotr (p.) 80' - (0-1)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–2 AC Erroropolis Northern
Natterback 33' - (0-1)
van den Aohs 45'+1 - (0-2)

Greater Erroropolis SC 0–2 Xat'i Paradystopi
Grakiju 21' - (0-1)
Grakiju 40' - (0-2)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 5–4 Querentes Erroropolis
Longfur 2' - (1-0)
Orahn 7' - (1-1)
Skibbles 35' - (1-2)
Orahn 41' - (1-3)
Longfur 50' - (2-3)
Stone (p.) 59' - (2-4)
Longfur 62' - (3-4)
Znudds (p.) 78' - (4-4)
Magee 83' - (5-4)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             27   17   6   4    70   38  +32    97
 2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    27   17   5   5    56   28  +28    95
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   27   16   6   5    48   32  +16    92
 4 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      27   14   9   4    40   26  +14    88
 5 Farslum Hoo SC                27   15   5   7    56   45  +11    85
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   27   14   7   6    30   19  +11    84
 7 Querentes Erroropolis         27   13   6   8    53   45   +8    77
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         27    9   9   9    44   46   −2    63
 9 Greater Erroropolis SC        27    8   9  10    50   53   −3    58
10 Random Penguins XI            27    9   6  12    34   38   −4    57
11 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      27    9   5  13    35   46  −11    55
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy            27    7   5  15    25   36  −11    45
13 Barkentyne Abertynkle         27    6   7  14    30   39   −9    44
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          27    5   7  15    28   48  −20    39
15 AC Erroropolis Northern       27    4   5  18    12   40  −28    30
16 Bognobb FC                    27    2   5  20     7   39  −32    20

"After a remarkable two nil-nil draws in a row, can plucky underdogs Bognobb FC, with a mere three games left in the season turn things around? Are these two scoreless draws the start of a heroic comeback story in which they overtake the defectors of AC Oeop... sorry, AC Erroropolis Northern to avoid bringing the FLoP wooden spoon back to Errorpolisish Paradystopia? I'm here with our resident Erroropolisish football expert, Ms. Orsa Fullstendigfeilinformert. So, Ms. Fullstendigfeilinformert, can Bognobb FC salvage their season by escaping last place?"

"Vell, der is a short answer unt a long answer to zat kvestion."

"The short answer?"

"No."

"... and the long answer?"

"Not a vucking chance."

"Well, there you have it, folks. Bognobb FC are going to be coming last. At least we can look forward to Greater Erroropolis SC claiming the CEdC spot for Erroropolisish Paradystopia and having a chance to gain some international repute for our wonderful fledgling nation."

"Aktually, Greater Erroropolis SC cannot overtek ze Kverentez at dis point of der zeason, zo it vill be ..."

"Thank you for your time, Ms. Fullstendigfeilinformert. A disappointing season for Erroropolisish Paradystopia it has been, we can all agree on that, but here's to a good run for Greater Erroropolis SC in the CEdC."

"Zorry, but I zink you vill find dat ..."

"And that's all the time we have for today. Thank you and good evening."

by **Paradystopia** » Sat Feb 28, 2026 4:36 am

WEEK 41
FLoP Rondeau - Semi-Final - Second Leg

Random Penguins XI 2–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad (8-5 agg.)
C.Longwhiskers 5' - (1-0)
Znudds 29' - (1-1)
Thusk (p.) 42' - (2-1)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1–0 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC (5-2 agg.)
Tippytapper 55' - (1-0)

FLoP - MD28

Farslum Hoo SC 2–3 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Sahilu 11' - (1-0)
Longfur 37' - (1-1)
Gichi-Wendaawendaa 58' - (2-1)
Kventynsson 61' - (2-2)
Longfur 65' - (2-3)

Querentes Oeopolis 6–3 Greater Erroropolis SC
Fothering-Bong (p.) 4' - (1-0)
Orahn 9' - (2-0)
Fothering-Bong 12' - (3-0)
Fothering-Bong (p.) 43' - (4-0)
Smith-Borgen 58' - (4-1)
Smith-Borgen 70' - (4-2)
Skipperer 82' - (5-2)
Bluntnose 88' - (6-2)
Bob 90'+2 - (6-3)

Xat'i Paradystopi 4–2 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Rhiagr 15' - (1-0)
Iajohn 27' - (2-0)
Iajohn 44' - (3-0)
Limpitlicker 57' - (3-1)
T'ut'sii 62' - (4-1)
Limpitlicker 70' - (4-2)

AC Oeopolis Northern 1–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
van den Herbertsholm 90'+1 - (1-0)

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 4–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Anastasyasdottyr 33' - (1-0)
Qut'ii 38' - (1-1)
te'Kotr 47' - (2-1)
Kusuma 60' - (3-1)
Wobblebottom 66' - (4-1)
Belic 79' - (4-2)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–4 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Rickles 22' - (0-1)
Bortland (p.) 55' - (0-2)
Minglor 62' - (0-3)
Bortland 88' - (0-4)

Bognobb FC 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Montacervus 90'+6 - (1-0)

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 2–0 Random Penguins XI
Dingle 68' - (1-0)
Chaplin 89' - (2-0)
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Xat'i Paradystopi             28   18   6   4    74   40  +34   102
 2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    28   18   5   5    58   28  +30   100
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   28   17   6   5    52   34  +18    97
 4 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      28   15   9   4    44   26  +18    93
 5 Farslum Hoo SC                28   15   5   8    58   48  +10    85
 6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   28   14   7   7    30   20  +10    84
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            28   14   6   8    59   48  +11    82
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         28    9   9  10    46   50   −4    63
 9 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      28   10   5  13    38   48  −10    60
10 Greater Erroropolis SC        28    8   9  11    53   59   −6    58
11 Random Penguins XI            28    9   6  13    34   40   −6    57
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy            28    7   5  16    27   40  −13    45
13 Barkentyne Abertynkle         28    6   7  15    30   40  −10    44
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          28    5   7  16    28   52  −24    39
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          28    5   5  18    13   40  −27    35
16 Bognobb FC                    28    3   5  20     8   39  −31    25

WEEK 42
FLoP - MD29

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 3–2 Farslum Hoo SC
Suarez (p.) 42' - (1-0)
Dastont 44' - (2-0)
Kharpathwa (p.) 57' - (2-1)
Blade 70' - (2-2)
Suarez 77' - (3-2)

Random Penguins XI 1–1 Bognobb FC
Thusk 77' - (1-0)
Lee 88' - (1-1)

Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 0–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Wobblebottom 77' - (0-1)

SK Zlatari Troglograd 3–1 AC Oeopolis Northern
Rodrigo 5' - (1-0)
Looney 57' - (1-1)
Mykaelys 72' - (2-1)
Suzanasdottyr 79' - (3-1)

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 5–4 Xat'i Paradystopi
Grakiju 3' - (0-1)
Grakiju 10' - (0-2)
Rsheu 18' - (0-3)
Gryszmeldasdottyr-Scwoggnorrys 40' - (1-3)
Zigismundis 51' - (2-3)
Gryszmeldasdottyr-Scwoggnorrys 55' - (3-3)
de Bolo 83' - (4-3)
Rhisje 86' - (4-4)
Djordjiyovic 90'+2 - (5-4)

AC Pantsdon Shandy 1–1 Querentes Oeopolis
Kokusic 29' - (1-0)
Smith-Sprinkles 80' - (1-1)

Greater Erroropolis SC 2–2 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Smith-Borgen 18' - (1-0)
Pedro 69' - (2-0)
Kventynsson 74' - (2-1)
Mokre 88' - (2-2)
   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    29   19   5   5    61   30  +31   105
 2 Xat'i Paradystopi             29   18   6   5    78   45  +33   102
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   29   18   6   5    53   34  +19   102
 4 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      29   15   9   5    44   27  +17    93
 5 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   29   15   7   7    35   24  +11    89
 6 Farslum Hoo SC                29   15   5   9    60   51   +9    85
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            29   14   7   8    60   49  +11    84
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         29   10   9  10    49   51   −2    68
 9 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      29   10   6  13    40   50  −10    62
10 Greater Erroropolis SC        29    8  10  11    55   61   −6    60
11 Random Penguins XI            29    9   7  13    35   41   −6    59
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy            29    7   6  16    28   41  −13    47
13 Barkentyne Abertynkle         29    6   8  15    30   40  −10    46
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          29    5   8  16    28   52  −24    41
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          29    5   5  19    14   43  −29    35
16 Bognobb FC                    29    3   6  20     9   40  −31    27

Hiya Paradystopia. It's me, Jill Prendergast and you may be curious as to why I am currently standing next to a cupboard. The reason for this, is that this cupboard happens to contain my co-host ...
Leave me alone!
... my co-host, Kwrao. Now, Kwrao is a little bit upset currently as with a single match left to play, the Xat'i have once again been knocked off the top spot courtesy coming out on the wrong side of a thrilling nine-goal encounter against AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens. Now, whilst with one game left to play this could all still change. However, looking ahead to the final fixtures, the Xat'i will face SK Zlatari Troglograd at home but this result will mean nothing unless Saltquarry lose their away match ... against Bognobb FC. Interestingly enough, and despite it being confirmed now that Bognobb will finish bottom, they are currently on a four game unbeaten streak. So, there's a small chance of an upset. Right, Kwrao?
Go away. I want to sulk in peace.
I mean, if Bognobb hold them to a draw, then the Xat'i have the better goal difference?
You're not making me feel any better. It's Bognobb for fuck's sake.
I'm just saying Kwrao, that it's not all over yet. Even AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja are in with a chance. They'll be home against a misfiring Barkentyne and should Saltquarry and the Xat'i fail to win their matches, the Vidders could very well swoop in for the title.
Pfft. Just give the title to Saltquarry already. I don't care anymore.
That said, AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja will have half an eye on the upcoming Rondeau final. On paper, they're odds on favourite to retain it. However, they're up against the Penguins, a team that managed to spoil their chances of making the top three last season, and a team that have caused a good few upsets with the top teams this year, namely the Xat'i.
I thought you promised not to mention that again!
Who's your money on for the Rondeau, Kwrao?
Don't care. Actually, no, the Vidders. I want to see the fucking penguins get thrashed.
I mean, it would be a remarkable squad turnaround for the penguin squad if they could win it. From rock-bottom in the league, to a cup-winner, and if I'm honest, I think a deserved accolade for Scratch Lobsterbane and the work he's done there.
Whatever. Go Lutrja!
Looking to who's in the running for IFCF spots, the team still in a position to depose any of the current top four is the other Urbsclavium squad; The Ossies. They have a tricky fixture of travelling out to Erroropolis, or Oeopolis, to face the Querentes. They'd also need to win there, and hope that Oldetoun get beaten away from home, also in Oeopolis, or Erroropolis against the Fishers; AC Oeopolis Northern. A bridge too far for the Ossies, you would think.
The Ossies can fuck off more that the penguins.
In some ways, it's been a slightly unfortunate campaign for Farslum who are unable to qualify for any IFCF spots now, though they should take a great deal of pride in establishing themselves as a top-of-the-table team, albeit just outside the international competition spots this time. They will wind up their campaign with a home fixture against Greater Erroropolis SC. The Querentes should also be taking many positives from this, their first season at being able to stick up there in that top group. Should they beat the Ossies, and Farslum lose, they could even still finish as high as fifth in the table.
Go Querentes. Fuck the Ossies, and the penguins too.
Anyway, we'll join you again in a few weeks time for a look back over the season, and the Rondeau final. Hopefully by then, Kwrao will have departed his cupboard and the show will be able to get back to normal.
Whatever. Don't count on it.

by **Paradystopia** » Sun Mar 01, 2026 1:29 am

WEEK 43
FLoP - MD30

Farslum Hoo SC 4–2 Greater Erroropolis SC
Sahilu 13' - (1-0)
Fisher 43' - (2-0)
Blade 50' - (3-0)
Pond 58' - (3-1)
Robertson-Cooper 70' - (3-2)
Fisher 74' - (4-2)

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 2–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Kventynsson 76' - (1-0)
Oelemann 90'+3 - (2-0)

Querentes Oeopolis 2–1 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Skipperer 32' - (1-0)
Skipperer 41' - (1-1)
Zigismundis 68' - (2-1)

Xat'i Paradystopi 2–1 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Njawrao 77' - (1-0)
Jim 81' - (2-0)
Dolan 89' - (2-1)

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–0 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Anastasyasdottyr 6' - (1-0)
Tippytapper 71' - (2-0)
Charmelle 80' - (3-0)

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 3–5 Random Penguins XI
Ralfkinson 4' - (1-0)
Thusk (p.) 31' - (1-1)
Rumpus 37' - (2-1)
Olii 49' - (2-2)
Olii 55' - (2-3)
Roper 69' - (3-3)
Olii 74' - (3-4)
Leynham 89' - (3-5)

Bognobb FC 1–3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Svensson 1' - (1-0)
Chaplin (p.) 10' - (1-1)
Schlippe 39' - (1-2)
Suarez 54' - (1-3)

WEEK 44 - No Matches

WEEK 45
FLoP Rondeau - Final

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 0–0 Random Penguins XI (2–2 AET) (2–3 pen.)
e.t.
te'Kotr 96' - (1-0)
Jangletrousers (p.) 108' - (1-1)
Qrouj (o.g.) 116' - (2-1)
Qrouj 120'+1 - (2-2)

Hiya Paradystopia. So here we are, at the end of season round-up with me, Jill Prendergast and sadly without Kwrao who has taken emergency leave for 'reasons'. Nevertheless, the show must go on and in place of Kwrao we have a very special guest with us. Cup-winner, and Pteron manager extraordinaire; Scratch Lobsterbane. Thank you so much for being here on such short notice, and congratulations on you and your squad's recent Rondeau win.
Yes, hello, and thank you very much though I really cannot take too much credit. The plaudits should go to the players, and deservedly so.
I think you do yourself a disservice, Scratch. After all, you are the mastermind co-ordinating the team, a team you have built essentially from the ground up.
'Mastermind'? Oh golly, I wouldn't go so far as that! The way I see it, I have merely selected a squad of talented individuals with a passion to obtaining a common goal and I believe we are beginning to see the fruition of what I set out to do. Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment of being referred to as a 'Mastermind', not at all. However, without the players on the pitch, I'm just some otter with a penchant for tactical analysis.
Has it truly sunk in yet, that next season not only will you be defending Rondeau champions, but also representing Paradystopia in the Cup Winners' Cup?
Ha. Oh yes. I'm already looking at how we can bolster our core team for next season and the prospect of international competition, analysing our season performance to see what tweaks I can make to improve our consistency as a team. Oh, it never stops! Haha.
So you've not allowed yourself the chance to celebrate a historic win?
Well, maybe a little. It's just how I work to be honest, there's always something to improve and work on, and with the squad seemingly demonstrating they are now on the up-and-up, why stop now?
You have your sights on league successes in your future?
Of course! I dream of taking the squad to the Champions League, what manager in their right mind wouldn't? This is only the beginning for the penguins, there's so much more to achieve!
It would appear that you're set on remaining loyal to Random Penguins XI? Do you have a statement regarding rumours that you have been approached by other squads as a managerial candidate for next season?
I'm not sure I'm at liberty to say ... I think I can go as far as saying that yes, I have been approached by other teams in the league but at this point, I have declined their, albeit lucrative, offers.
Offers? As in plural?
Well, yes, I won't go into who exactly, but presently, my heart is Random, with the penguins.
I'm sure that's something your fans will be glad to hear. Anyway, moving away from your cup success, the season has come to an end and for the first time, it's not the Xat'i heading to the Champions League.
Oh, it was a claw-biter, wasn't it? After the draw in the New Newetoun derby, I really thought the Xat'i had it. Then again, on the final day, Bognobb scoring in the first minute! I've no idea how Svensson slotted that ball past Steinbruddet in the Saltquarry goal. Lovely little move to catch the Salties napping in the opening. Right from the kick-off. Bish-bash-bosh. Four passes and a well-placed shot and the league leaders were down 1-0 before they'd even touched the ball. It just goes to show that nothing's a given in this game. I think it did spark them into action though, that and some rather vociferous words from Ms. Catalina Arran.
Were you keeping yourself abreast of the other games in the league whilst you were at St. Agnant's, or did you catch up on other events later?
Well, I did try to keep my mind on my work. My team being the one team that I have some influence over, but I do confess that I had a assistant keeping an eye on the other matches.
You also fell foul to an early goal.
We did. That young Ralf chap. Talented little striker he is, St. Agnant's will do well to keep hold of him. Yes, that interception catching Qrouj out of position. Silly mistake really.
I forgot to mention before actually, Qrouj played a huge part in your Rondeau win.
Oh yes! If anything I think the own goal spurred him on. I mean, he more than made amends with that injury time header from that final corner. Pushing the game to penalties, and then excelling himself between the sticks. It's funny to say that we wouldn't have won it without him, given that mistake allowed the Vidders to go 2-1 up with under five minutes left, but really, he totally absolved himself and then some. If I'm honest, I'm really glad that the Xat'i have Sjiu between the sticks or I'd guarantee I'd be spending most of the off-season fending off poachers!
I feel you may end up doing that anyway. Iain Thusk, for example, how confident are you in retaining his services? Second highest goalscorer in the league, and only sixteen.
I do hope that he stays; there's not a price I could put on his contribution for us this season. Brian Leynham too, who's been a key defender for us. However, both of these two have got whole careers ahead of them to think about and I wouldn't begrudge either finding a team where they can truly flourish. Again, I would really love for them to stay around a bit longer but one does have to respect the desires of the individual.
Indeed. Returning to the league, Oldetoun managed to rectify the wrongs of last season and get themselves into the final four despite quite a dismal end to the season with a lacklustre, no-score draw at Oeopolis. How do you rate Patrick Smith-Cocker in his first steps into managerhood?
It's not easy, certainly not, and one should really look at the results the squad have achieved across the season. Only five losses, exactly the same as the three teams above them. That's a stat to be proud of. He was a defender, and he's obviously worked on that with his team. Now, he needs to get his attackers scoring more goals than their opponents. Ha, I make it sound so easy. 'You just need to score more than the other team'. No, in fairness, it's should be a good springboard for him to work from and I, for one look forward to the New Newetoun derbies next season.
Whilst the New Newetoun teams are coming into their own, it was a bit mixed for our second city. The Ossies once again, so near yet so far. The Vidders hit a new highest league position of third, but fail to retain the Rondeau. It must be somewhat frustrating being a football fan in Urbsclavium.
Well, I can't possibly comment of the Rondeau, what with their loss being other victory, but yes, they're always in those 'nearly' spots. AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens brought in Keith Mordenholm to supposedly make positive change, but they've seen more of the same. The Vidders, well, I feel they are moving in the right direction. They managed a comfortable third, only behind the Xat'i on goal difference, and only three points off the top spot. They too have a very capable squad which is likely something the Ossies could do with developing more prudently. Aynarde Desprez aside mind; she was a stellar signing for them.
Well, many thanks for your insights, Scratch and again, many congratulations on your Rondeau victory. Quickly, before we go, where can we expect to see Random Penguins XI finishing next season?
Haha. Well, that's a long way off currently, it's hard to say, but probably ... hmmm ... first? Haha.
Confident then?
Gotta aim high. Why aspire for anything other than top?
Haha. Thank you Scratch, and good luck making that a reality.
Ha. Yes, I think I'd need quite a bit of luck to make that come true just yet.

FINAL STANDINGS

   FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    30   20   5   5    64   31  +33   110   IFCF CL, CEdC (PDT)
 2 Xat'i Paradystopi             30   19   6   5    80   46  +34   107   IFCF CC
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   30   19   6   5    56   34  +22   107   IFCF CC
 4 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      30   15  10   5    44   27  +17    95   IFCF CC
 5 Farslum Hoo SC                30   16   5   9    64   53  +11    90
 6 Querentes Oeopolis            30   15   7   8    62   50  +12    89   CEdC (ERP)
 7 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   30   15   7   8    36   26  +10    89
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         30   10   9  11    50   53   −3    68
 9 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      30   11   6  13    42   50   −8    67
10 Random Penguins XI            30   10   7  13    40   44   −4    64   IFCF CWC
11 Greater Erroropolis SC        30    8  10  12    57   65   −8    60
12 AC Pantsdon Shandy            30    7   6  17    28   43  −15    47
13 Barkentyne Abertynkle         30    6   8  16    30   43  −13    46
14 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          30    5   8  17    31   57  −26    41
15 AC Oeopolis Northern          30    5   6  19    14   43  −29    37
16 Bognobb FC                    30    3   6  21    10   43  −33    27

STATISTICS

League Goalscorers

Rk. Name                     Team                               Gls
 1  Brianne Chaplin          New Newetoun Saltquarry SC          18
 2  Iain Thusk               Random Penguins XI                  16
 3  Iona Schlippe            Barkentyne Abertynkle               15
 4  Olii                     Random Penguins XI                  14
 =  Rsheu                    Xat'i Paradystopi                   14
 =  Lia Suarez               New Newetoun Saltquarry SC          14
 =  Sjoerda te'Kotr          AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja         14
 8  Meadin Sahilu            Farslum Hoo SC                      13
 =  Honksalot Slaptail       Greater Erroropolis SC              13
10  Eustace Fothering-Bong   Querentes Oeopolis                  12
 =  Grakjiu                  Xat'i Paradystopi                   12
Rondeau Goalscorers

Rk. Name                     Team                               Gls
 1  Yippy Longfur            Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad             6
 2  Olii                     Random Penguins XI                   5
 3  Soks                     New Newetoun Saltquarry SC           4
 =  Lia Suarez               New Newetoun Saltquarry SC           4
 =  Iain Thusk               Random Penguins XI                   4
 6  Amelya Anastasyasdottyr  AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja          3
 =  Brianne Chaplin          New Newetoun Saltquarry SC           3
 =  Jimmy Jangletrousers     Random Penguins XI                   3
 =  Rsheu                    Xat'i Paradystopi                    3
 =  Sjoerda te'Kotr          AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja          3
 =  Xhowro                   AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja          3
 =  Dee Znudds               Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad             3
Goalscorers All Competitions

Rk. Name                     Team                               Gls
 1  Rsheu                    Xat'i Paradystopi                   30
 2  Brianne Chaplin          New Newetoun Saltquarry SC          25
 3  Grakjiu                  Xat'i Paradystopi                   24
 =  Meadin Sahilu            Farslum Hoo SC                      24
 =  Sjoerda te'Kotr          AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja         24
 6  Iain Thusk               Random Penguins XI                  20
 7  Olii                     Random Penguins XI                  19
 =  Lia Suarez               New Newetoun Saltquarry SC          19
 9  Amelya Anastasyasdottyr  AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja         18
 =  Akash Kharpathwa         Farslum Hoo SC                      18

League Clean Sheets

Rk. Name                     Team                                CS
 1  Aynarde Desprez          AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens         15
 =  Harold King              SC Oldetoun New Newetoun            15
 =  Rhuxe                    AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja         15
 4  Klara Av Steinbruddet    New Newetoun Saltquarry SC          12
 5  Sjiu                     Xat'i Paradystopi                   11
 6  Forla Agnesdottyr        Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad             9
 =  Granville Halibut        Querentes Oeopolis                   9
 =  Bruno Kolar              AC Oeopolis Northern                 9
 =  Qrouj                    Random Penguins XI                   9
10  Perry Hunt               St. Agnant's Wamp SC                 8
 =  Dirk Kleynhund           Barkentyne Abertynkle                8
Clean Sheets All Competitions

Rk. Name                     Team                                CS
 1  Rhuxe                    AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja         21
 2  Sjiu                     Xat'i Paradystopi                   19
 3  Harold King              SC Oldetoun New Newetoun            16
 4  Aynarde Desprez          AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens         15
 5  Klara Av Steinbruddet    New Newetoun Saltquarry SC          12
 =  Qrouj                    Random Penguins XI                  12
 7  Forla Agnesdottyr        Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad            11
 8  Granville Halibut        Querentes Oeopolis                   9
 =  Perry Hunt               St. Agnant's Wamp SC                 9
 =  Bruno Kolar              AC Oeopolis Northern                 9

by **Qyzzyxzyan Draconic Territories** » Fri Apr 17, 2026 11:45 pm

SEASON 4

And Lo! The Esteemed Dragonlord did grace us with their Supreme Ethereal Visage and unto us did spake with their voice as bold and yet mellifluous as a chorus of a thousand fine trumpets.

"Wassup Motherfuckers! So as we've like, only got the fifty-second best league or whatever, we need expansion. More teams, and a system for like, training up the next generation or some shit. Bigger, and like, betterer! Get to it, now, you worthless piles of like, fetid rat faeces! That, or I get to sacrifice all your first borns or whatever."

Thus, we most pious of 'motherfuckers' did toil to see that the Holy Word of our Most Awesomest of Lords was completed.

A holy decree was issued, that no longer may the peons of the mines and the farms be exempt from pleasing the Dragonlord in sporting endeavour, and whilst the peons of the farm did rebel that they did so please the Dragonlord with their rugby, the repeated taste of the whip did alter their deviant minds.

And so, GQSDFC Peons Agricultura, and GQSDFC Peons Fossores were brought forth.

Then did the righteous organisation of the Academia Pugnandi pledge their support, along with those whose faith be neither Pavlian, nor Pepeian.

And so, Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae, and MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF were brought forth.

Our heathenistic neighbours of non-descript nature insisted they had not the populace to provide of further sporting units. Though following rounds of negotiation, they did offer a sacrilegious devotion of some barely functionable robotic individuals.

And so, Non-descript defective automata were brought forth.

From the great ocean, the Pteron believers did summon their strongest individuals to lay challenge to their Xat'i brethren, and from the great mountain, a sect of those learned in the ways of the arcanum were demanded to show allegiance.

And so, Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae, and MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos were brought forth.

Numbering now but seven teams, a further number was yet required. The Hexaverbalists were demanded to further demonstrate their allegiance, but upon the receipt of their missive which read ...

Only have six players as is ... !

... further pressure was deemed futile to our cause.

To thus combat the squad inadequacy which would so ire the Most-Excellent Dragonlord, further random peons were gathered together.

And so, GQSDFC Peons Innumeri was brought forth.

As to the formation of a youth league, the young are much more pliant when it comes to the divine orders of the Super-Duper Esteemed Dragonlord.

And so, two new leagues were brought forth; the SMAFLQDTONPAS2 (Supreme Most Awesome Football League of Qyzzyxzyan Draconic Territories and Other North Paradystopi Affliated States, Two), and the SMAYFLQDTONPAS (Supreme Most Awesome Youth Football League of Qyzzyxzyan Draconic Territories and Other North Paradystopi Affliated States)

And thus, the competition was played.

Round 1

League 1

       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 0–0 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 0–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 1–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF

            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 2–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 1–2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi

            GQSDFC Peons Unus 1–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 1–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Unus

A non-descript team of Robots 0–3 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 1–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 0–0 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 2–0 A non-descript team of Robots

                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF     4    3   1   0     6    0   +6    0.875     3
2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi                4    3   0   1     5    2   +3    0.750     3
3 GQSDFC Peons Unus                4    2   2   0     4    2   +2    0.750     2
4 A non-descript football team     4    1   2   1     1    1    0    0.500     1
  MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF           4    1   2   1     1    1    0    0.500     1
6 GQSDFC Peons Duus                4    1   0   3     2    5   −3    0.250     1
7 Hexiverbalist CSASS              4    0   2   2     2    4   −2    0.250     0
8 A non-descript team of Robots    4    0   1   3     0    6   −6    0.125     0


League 2

        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Fossores
               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 1–0 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos
        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Fossores
               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 0–1 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos

     Non-descript defective automata 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri
               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 0–1 Non-descript defective automata
     Non-descript defective automata 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri
               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 1–0 Non-descript defective automata

          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura
            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 1–0 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF
          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura
            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 1–0 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF

Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 4–1 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae
                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 2–2 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae
Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 1–1 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae
                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 1–1 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae

                                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri                   4    3   0   1     3    1   +2    0.750     3
2 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura                4    2   1   1     2    1   +1    0.625     2
3 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae    4    1   3   0     8    5   +3    0.625     1
4 GQSDFC Peons Fossores                   4    1   2   1     1    1    0    0.500     1
  MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos            4    1   2   1     1    1    0    0.500     1
6 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF              4    1   1   2     1    2   −1    0.375     1
7 Non-descript defective automata         4    1   0   3     1    3   −2    0.250     1
8 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae                    4    0   3   1     5    8   −3    0.375     0

Round 2

League 1

 A non-descript football team 0–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 0–1 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 0–0 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 0–0 A non-descript football team

          Hexiverbalist CSASS 2–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 0–0 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 1–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 0–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS

            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus

       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 2–1 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 0–1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 2–1 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF

                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi                8    6   0   2    10    5   +5    0.750     6
2 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF     8    4   3   1     7    1   +6    0.688     4
3 GQSDFC Peons Unus                8    3   5   0     5    2   +3    0.688     3
4 Hexiverbalist CSASS              8    3   3   2     6    4   +2    0.562     3
5 A non-descript football team     8    2   4   2     2    2    0    0.500     2
6 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF           8    2   2   4     4    6   −2    0.375     2
7 GQSDFC Peons Duus                8    1   3   4     2    6   −4    0.312     1
8 A non-descript team of Robots    8    0   2   6     0   10  −10    0.125     0


League 2

               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 1–0 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae
                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Fossores
               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 0–0 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae
                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Fossores

            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 1–0 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae
Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura
            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 0–2 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae
Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura

               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 0–1 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF
          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri
               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 1–0 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF
          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri

        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 0–1 Non-descript defective automata
     Non-descript defective automata 1–0 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos
        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 0–0 Non-descript defective automata
     Non-descript defective automata 0–0 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos

                                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura                8    5   1   2     5    3   +2    0.688     5
2 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri                   8    4   1   3     4    3   +1    0.562     4
3 GQSDFC Peons Fossores                   8    3   3   2     3    2   +1    0.562     3
4 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF              8    3   2   3     3    3    0    0.500     3
  Non-descript defective automata         8    3   2   3     3    3    0    0.500     3
6 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae    8    2   3   3    10    8   +2    0.438     2
7 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos            8    1   4   3     1    3   −2    0.375     1
8 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae                    8    1   4   3     6   10   −4    0.375     1

Round 3

Cup Eighth-Finals

       GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 0–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS

A non-descript football team 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus

           GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–1 A non-descript team of Robots

       GQSDFC Peons Fossores 0–1 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF

           Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 7–3 Non-descript defective automata

        Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 0–4 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae

      MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura

MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 1–0 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos


Youth League

       Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyoz  0–1 GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus
     GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus 3–2 Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi

     GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus 1–0 MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF
MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF 0–0 GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus

  MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF 0–0 A non-descript youth team
 A non-descript youth team 1–0 MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF

                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus         2    2   0   0     4    2   +2    1.000     2
2 A non-descript youth team     2    1   1   0     1    0   +1    0.750     1
  GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus         2    1   1   0     1    0   +1    0.750     1
4 MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF      2    0   1   1     0    1   −1    0.250     0
  MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF    2    0   1   1     0    1   −1    0.250     0
6 Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi           2    0   0   2     2    4   −2    0.000     0

Round 4

League 1

            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 0–1 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 2–1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 4–1 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 1–1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi

            GQSDFC Peons Unus 0–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 1–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Unus

A non-descript team of Robots 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 1–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–1 A non-descript team of Robots

 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 1–0 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 1–0 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–2 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF

                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF    12    8   3   1    12    1  +11    0.792     8
2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi               12    7   1   4    16   10   +6    0.625     7
3 GQSDFC Peons Unus               12    5   6   1     7    3   +4    0.667     5
4 A non-descript football team    12    4   5   3     7    8   −1    0.542     4
5 Hexiverbalist CSASS             12    3   3   6     6    9   −3    0.375     3
  MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF          12    3   3   6     5    8   −3    0.375     3
7 GQSDFC Peons Duus               12    3   3   6     4    8   −4    0.375     3
8 A non-descript team of Robots   12    2   2   8     2   12  −10    0.250     2


League 2

     Non-descript defective automata 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Fossores
               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 2–0 Non-descript defective automata
     Non-descript defective automata 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Fossores
               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 2–0 Non-descript defective automata

          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 0–0 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos
        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 1–0 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF
          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 0–1 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos
        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 0–1 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF

Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri
               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 0–1 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae
Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 1–1 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri
               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 0–0 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae

                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura
            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 0–1 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae
                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura
            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 0–1 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae

                                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDFC Peons Fossores                  12    7   3   2     9    2   +7    0.708     7
2 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura               12    6   2   4     6    5   +1    0.583     6
3 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae   12    4   5   3    13    9   +4    0.542     4
4 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri                  12    4   3   5     5    6   −1    0.458     4
5 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF             12    4   3   5     4    5   −1    0.458     4
6 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos           12    3   5   4     3    4   −1    0.458     3
7 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae                   12    3   5   4     8   11   −3    0.458     3
8 Non-descript defective automata        12    3   2   7     3    9   −6    0.333     3

Round 5

League 1

 A non-descript football team 0–2 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 2–2 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 1–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 1–2 A non-descript football team

            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–0 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus

       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 0–2 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 1–2 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 1–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF

            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 1–3 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 3–0 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 0–1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi

                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF    16   11   4   1    15    1  +14    0.812    11
2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi               16    9   1   6    19   16   +3    0.594     9
3 GQSDFC Peons Unus               16    7   6   3    13    6   +7    0.625     7
4 A non-descript football team    16    5   7   4    12   14   −2    0.531     5
5 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF          16    5   3   8     8   12   −4    0.406     5
6 Hexiverbalist CSASS             16    4   5   7    12   14   −2    0.406     4
7 A non-descript team of Robots   16    4   2  10     6   15   −9    0.312     4
8 GQSDFC Peons Duus               16    3   4   9     4   11   −7    0.312     3


League 2

               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura
            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Fossores
               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura
            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Fossores

               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 0–1 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae
                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri
               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 0–1 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae
                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri

        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 0–1 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae
Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 1–2 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos
        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 0–1 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae
Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 3–0 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos

     Non-descript defective automata 1–0 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF
          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 0–2 Non-descript defective automata
     Non-descript defective automata 0–1 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF
          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 2-1 Non-descript defective automata

                                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDFC Peons Fossores                  16    9   4   3    11    3   +8    0.688     9
2 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae   16    7   5   4    19   11   +8    0.594     7
3 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura               16    7   3   6     7    7    0    0.531     7
4 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri                  16    6   3   7     7    8   −1    0.469     6
5 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF             16    6   3   7     7    9   −2    0.469     6
6 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae                   16    5   5   6    10   13   −3    0.469     5
7 Non-descript defective automata        16    5   2   9     7   12   −5    0.375     5
8 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos           16    4   5   7     5   10   −5    0.406     4

Round 6

Cup Quarter-Finals

Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 0–1 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF

              MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 0–3 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi

        A non-descript football team 1–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
        MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 0-0 A non-descript football team
        A non-descript football team 0–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF

                 Hexiverbalist CSASS 2–1 A non-descript team of Robots


Youth League

     GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus 1–0 A non-descript youth team
 A non-descript youth team 0–1 GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus

MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF 0–0 MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF
  MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF 1–0 MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF

       Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi 1–1 GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus
     GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus 1–3 Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi

                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus         4    4   0   0     6    2   +4    1.000     4
2 MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF      4    1   2   1     1    1    0    0.500     1
3 Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi           4    1   1   2     6    6    0    0.375     1
4 GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus         4    1   2   1     3    4   −1    0.500     1
5 A non-descript youth team     4    1   1   2     1    2   −1    0.375     1
6 MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF    4    0   2   2     0    2   −2    0.250     0

Round 7

League 1

            GQSDFC Peons Unus 0–1 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 0–0 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Unus

A non-descript team of Robots 1–1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 5–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 0–6 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 3–4 A non-descript team of Robots

 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 1–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 0–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 0–1 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 0–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF

          Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 1–0 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–2 Hexiverbalist CSASS

                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF    20   14   4   2    18    2  +16    0.800    14
2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi               20   11   2   7    34   21  +13    0.600    11
3 GQSDFC Peons Unus               20    8   7   5    14    8   +6    0.575     8
4 A non-descript football team    20    7   8   5    14   15   −1    0.550     7
5 Hexiverbalist CSASS             20    6   5   9    15   16   −1    0.425     6
6 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF          20    6   3  11     9   15   −6    0.375     6
7 GQSDFC Peons Duus               20    5   4  11     6   14   −8    0.350     5
8 A non-descript team of Robots   20    5   3  12    11   30  −19    0.325     5


League 2

          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Fossores
               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 1–2 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF
          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Fossores
               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 0–1 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF

Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 0–0 Non-descript defective automata
     Non-descript defective automata 2–2 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae
Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 5–0 Non-descript defective automata
     Non-descript defective automata 1–1 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae

                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 0–1 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos
        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 0–1 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae
                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 1–0 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos
        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 1–2 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae

            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri
               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura
            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri
               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura

                                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDFC Peons Fossores                  20   10   5   5    13    6   +7    0.625    10
2 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura               20    9   4   7     9    8   +1    0.550     9
3 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae   20    8   8   4    27   14  +13    0.600     8
4 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae                   20    8   5   7    14   15   −1    0.525     8
5 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF             20    8   4   8    10   11   −1    0.500     8
6 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri                  20    7   4   9     8   10   −2    0.450     7
7 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos           20    5   5  10     7   14   −7    0.375     5
8 Non-descript defective automata        20    5   5  10    10   20  −10    0.375     5

Round 8

Cup Semi-Finals

         Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–0 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
           Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 1–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS
         Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi

MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 1–0 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF


Youth League

     GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus 0–1 GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus
     GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus 0–0 GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus

  MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF 0–0 Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi
       Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi 1–1 MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF

 A non-descript youth team 0–1 MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF
MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF 0–0 A non-descript youth team

                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus         6    5   1   0     7    2   +5    0.917     5
2 MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF      6    1   4   1     2    2    0    0.500     1
3 Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi           6    1   3   2     7    7    0    0.417     1
4 MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF    6    1   3   2     1    2   −1    0.417     1
5 GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus         6    1   3   2     3    5   −2    0.417     1
6 A non-descript youth team     6    1   2   3     1    3   −2    0.333     1

Round 9

League 1

 A non-descript football team 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–0 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 2–1 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–1 A non-descript football team

       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 0–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 2–1 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF

            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 1–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 2–1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 2–0 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 2–0 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi

            GQSDFC Peons Unus 1–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 1–0 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Unus

                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF    24   16   5   3    23    6  +17    0.771    16
2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi               24   12   3   9    38   26  +12    0.562    12
3 GQSDFC Peons Unus               24   10   8   6    16    9   +7    0.583    10
4 A non-descript football team    24    9  10   5    17   16   +1    0.583     9
5 Hexiverbalist CSASS             24    8   6  10    18   18    0    0.458     8
6 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF          24    7   4  13    11   18   −7    0.375     7
7 A non-descript team of Robots   24    6   4  14    12   32  −20    0.333     6
8 GQSDFC Peons Duus               24    5   6  13     7   17  −10    0.333     5


League 2

               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri
               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Fossores
               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri
               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Fossores

        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura
            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 0–0 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos
        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura
            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 1–0 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos

     Non-descript defective automata 1–0 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae
                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 0–1 Non-descript defective automata
     Non-descript defective automata 2–2 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae
                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 4–1 Non-descript defective automata

          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 0–1 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae
Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 0–2 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF
          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 1–2 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae
Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 0–1 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF

                                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura               24   11   5   8    11    9   +2    0.562    11
2 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae   24   10   8   6    30   18  +12    0.583    10
3 GQSDFC Peons Fossores                  24   10   9   5    13    6   +7    0.604    10
4 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF             24   10   4  10    14   14    0    0.500    10
5 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae                   24    9   6   9    20   20    0    0.500     9
6 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri                  24    7   8   9     8   10   −2    0.458     7
7 Non-descript defective automata        24    7   6  11    15   26  −11    0.417     7
8 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos           24    6   6  12     8   16   −8    0.375     6

Round 10

Cup Final

Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 1–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF (2–1 AET)


Youth League 

     GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus 0–1 MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF
MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF 1–0 GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus

       Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi 0–1 A non-descript youth team
 A non-descript youth team 1–0 Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi

     GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus 0–1 MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF
  MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF 0–0 GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus

                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus         8    5   1   2     7    4   +3    0.688     5
2 MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF    8    3   3   2     3    2   +1    0.562     3
3 A non-descript youth team     8    3   2   3     3    3    0    0.500     3
4 MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF      8    2   5   1     3    2   +1    0.562     2
5 Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi           8    1   3   4     7    9   −2    0.312     1
6 GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus         8    1   4   3     3    6   −3    0.375     1

Round 11

League 1

A non-descript team of Robots 1–1 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 2–1 A non-descript team of Robots
A non-descript team of Robots 0–1 A non-descript football team
 A non-descript football team 0–1 A non-descript team of Robots

 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 1–0 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF
 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Unus
            GQSDFC Peons Unus 0–1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF

          Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–0 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 4–3 Hexiverbalist CSASS
          Hexiverbalist CSASS 1–1 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi
            Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi 3–0 Hexiverbalist CSASS

            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus
            GQSDFC Peons Duus 0–0 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF
       MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Duus

  SMAFLQDTONPAS1                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF    28   17   5   6    24    9  +15    0.696    17   Q IFCF CL
2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi               28   14   5   9    46   30  +16    0.589    14   Q IFCF CC, IFCF CWC
3 GQSDFC Peons Unus               28   13   8   7    19   10   +9    0.607    13   Q IFCF CC
4 A non-descript football team    28   11  11   6    21   19   +2    0.589    11
5 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF          28    9   6  13    13   18   −5    0.429     9
6 Hexiverbalist CSASS             28    8   8  12    22   26   −4    0.429     8   P/RPO
7 A non-descript team of Robots   28    7   5  16    15   36  −21    0.339     7   P/RPO
8 GQSDFC Peons Duus               28    5   8  15     7   19  −12    0.321     5   R


League 2

Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Fossores
               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 0–1 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae
Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae 1–0 GQSDFC Peons Fossores
               GQSDFC Peons Fossores 1–2 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae

                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 0–1 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF
          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 2–1 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae
                Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae 1–1 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF
          MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 1–0 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae

            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 0–1 Non-descript defective automata
     Non-descript defective automata 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura
            GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 0–1 Non-descript defective automata
     Non-descript defective automata 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura

               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 1–0 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos
        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri
               GQSDFC Peons Innumeri 1–0 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos
        MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos 0–1 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri

  SMAFLQDTONPAS2                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae   28   14   8   6    35   19  +16    0.643    14   P      Q IFCF LBCC
2 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF             28   13   5  10    19   16   +3    0.554    13   P/RPO  Q IFCF LBCC
3 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura               28   13   5  10    13   11   +2    0.554    13   P/RPO  Q IFCF LBCC
4 GQSDFC Peons Fossores                  28   10   9   9    14   11   +3    0.518    10
5 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri                  28   10   9   9    11   10   +1    0.518    10
6 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae                   28    9   7  12    22   25   −3    0.446     9
7 Non-descript defective automata        28    9   6  13    17   28  −11    0.429     9
8 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos           28    6   7  15     8   19  −11    0.339     6

Round 12

Promotion/Relegation Play-Offs

   MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura

          Hexiverbalist CSASS 1–0 A non-descript team of Robots

     GQSDFC Peons Agricultura 1–0 A non-descript team of Robots

   MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF 0–1 Hexiverbalist CSASS

          Hexiverbalist CSASS 0–0 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura

A non-descript team of Robots 1–0 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF

                                Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD    Win %  Pts 
1 Hexiverbalist CSASS             3   2  1  0    2   0  +2    0.833    2
2 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura        3   1  2  0    1   0  +1    0.667    1   P
3 A non-descript team of Robots   3   1  0  2    1   2  −1    0.333    1   R
4 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF      3   0  1  2    0   2  −2    0.167    0


Youth League

  MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF 0–1 GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus
     GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus 1–0 MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF

 A non-descript youth team 0–0 GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus
     GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus 1–0 A non-descript youth team

MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF 2–0 Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi
       Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi 0–1 MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF

                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus        10    7   1   2     9    4   +5    0.750     7   Q IFCF RSC
2 MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF   10    5   3   2     6    2   +4    0.650     5
3 A non-descript youth team    10    3   3   4     3    4   −1    0.450     3
4 MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF     10    2   5   3     3    4   −1    0.450     2
5 GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus        10    2   5   3     4    6   −2    0.450     2
6 Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi          10    1   3   6     7   12   −5    0.250     1

And unto our Most Exquisite of Lords did we present the final standings in their honour.

Thus spake the Most Awesome Dragonlord.

"Yeah, like cool, or whatever."

And we saw that it was good.

FINAL STANDINGS - LEAGUE 1

SMAFLQDTONPAS1                   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 MESD Fidelissimae Plebes QCF    28   17   5   6    24    9  +15    0.696    17   Q IFCF CL, FFI LoV
2 Xat'i Qyzzyxzyozi               28   14   5   9    46   30  +16    0.589    14   Q IFCF CC, IFCF CWC, FFI LoV
3 GQSDFC Peons Unus               28   13   8   7    19   10   +9    0.607    13   Q IFCF CC, FFI CT
4 A non-descript football team    28   11  11   6    21   19   +2    0.589    11
5 MESD Plebs Fidelis QCF          28    9   6  13    13   18   −5    0.429     9
6 Hexiverbalist CSASS             28    8   8  12    22   26   −4    0.429     8
7 A non-descript team of Robots   28    7   5  16    15   36  −21    0.339     7   R
8 GQSDFC Peons Duus               28    5   8  15     7   19  −12    0.321     5   R

FINAL STANDINGS - LEAGUE 2

SMAFLQDTONPAS2                          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 Academia Pugnandi Pedibus Qyzzyxziae   28   14   8   6    35   19  +16    0.643    14   P - Q IFCF LBCC
2 MESD Plebeii Sine Papa QCF             28   13   5  10    19   16   +3    0.554    13       Q IFCF LBCC
3 GQSDFC Peons Agricultura               28   13   5  10    13   11   +2    0.554    13   P - Q IFCF LBCC
4 GQSDFC Peons Fossores                  28   10   9   9    14   11   +3    0.518    10
5 GQSDFC Peons Innumeri                  28   10   9   9    11   10   +1    0.518    10
6 Pteronis Qyzzyxzyiae                   28    9   7  12    22   25   −3    0.446     9
7 Non-descript defective automata        28    9   6  13    17   28  −11    0.429     9
8 MEQFC Veneficas et Maleficos           28    6   7  15     8   19  −11    0.339     6

FINAL STANDINGS - YOUTH LEAGUE

SMAYFLQDTONPAS                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD    Win %   Pts 
1 GQSDYFC Orphanii Unus        10    7   1   2     9    4   +5    0.750     7   Q IFCF RSC
2 MESD Piissimus Puerii QYCF   10    5   3   2     6    2   +4    0.650     5
3 A non-descript youth team    10    3   3   4     3    4   −1    0.450     3
4 MESD Iuvenes Plebes QYCF     10    2   5   3     3    4   −1    0.450     2
5 GQSDYFC Orphanii Duus        10    2   5   3     4    6   −2    0.450     2
6 Xit'hns Qyzzyxzyozi          10    1   3   6     7   12   −5    0.250     1

by **Qyzzyxzyan Draconic Territories** » Wed Apr 22, 2026 1:12 am

SEASON 3

MD1

MEQ Plebs Fidelis SDR 0–8 Peons Agricultura RSGQ
MEQ Fidelissimae Plebes SDR 7–0 Peons Duus RSGQ
Peons Unus-et-trius RSGQ 7–15 Academia Pugnandi Qyzzyxziae

  TADRUL                       Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Academia Pugnandi Qyzzyxziae   1   1  0  0   15   7  +8    1
2 Peons Agricultura RSGQ         1   1  0  0    8   0  +8    1
3 MEQ Fidelissimae Plebes SDR    1   1  0  0    7   0  +7    1
4 Peons Unus-et-trius RSGQ       1   0  0  1    7  15  −8    0
5 Peons Duus RSGQ                1   0  0  1    0   7  −7    0
6 MEQ Plebs Fidelis SDR          1   0  0  1    0   8  −8    0

MD2

Peons Agricultura RSGQ 0–0 Academia Pugnandi Qyzzyxziae
Peons Duus RSGQ 7–0 Peons Unus-et-trius RSGQ
MEQ Plebs Fidelis SDR 14–28 MEQ Fidelissimae Plebes SDR

  TADRUL                       Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 MEQ Fidelissimae Plebes SDR    2   2  0  0   35  14 +21    2
2 Academia Pugnandi Qyzzyxziae   2   1  1  0   15   7  +8    1
3 Peons Agricultura RSGQ         2   1  1  0    8   0  +8    1
4 Peons Duus RSGQ                2   1  0  1    7   7   0    1
5 MEQ Plebs Fidelis SDR          2   0  0  2   14  36 −22    0
6 Peons Unus-et-trius RSGQ       2   0  0  2    7  22 −15    0

MD3

MEQ Fidelissimae Plebes SDR 14–24 Peons Agricultura RSGQ
Peons Unus-et-trius RSGQ 12–14 MEQ Plebs Fidelis SDR
Academia Pugnandi Qyzzyxziae 56–12 Peons Duus RSGQ

  TADRUL                       Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Academia Pugnandi Qyzzyxziae   3   2  1  0   71  19 +52    2
2 MEQ Fidelissimae Plebes SDR    3   2  0  1   49  38 +11    2
3 Peons Agricultura RSGQ         3   2  1  0   32  14 +18    2
4 MEQ Plebs Fidelis SDR          3   1  0  2   28  48 −20    1
5 Peons Duus RSGQ                3   1  0  2   19  63 −44    1
6 Peons Unus-et-trius RSGQ       3   0  0  3   19  36 −17    0

MD4

Peons Agricultura RSGQ 7–5 Peons Duus RSGQ
MEQ Plebs Fidelis SDR 7–38 Academia Pugnandi Qyzzyxziae
MEQ Fidelissimae Plebes SDR 7–0 Peons Unus-et-trius RSGQ

  TADRUL                       Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Academia Pugnandi Qyzzyxziae   4   3  1  0  109  26 +83    3
2 MEQ Fidelissimae Plebes SDR    4   3  0  1   56  38 +18    3
3 Peons Agricultura RSGQ         4   3  1  0   39  19 +20    3
4 MEQ Plebs Fidelis SDR          4   1  0  3   35  86 −51    1
5 Peons Duus RSGQ                4   1  0  3   24  70 −46    1
6 Peons Unus-et-trius RSGQ       4   0  0  4   19  43 −24    0

MD5

Peons Unus-et-trius RSGQ 0–14 Peons Agricultura RSGQ
Academia Pugnandi Qyzzyxziae 40–7 MEQ Fidelissimae Plebes SDR
Peons Duus RSGQ 0–14 MEQ Plebs Fidelis SDR

  TADRUL                       Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA   PD  Pts
1 Academia Pugnandi Qyzzyxziae   5   4  1  0  149  33 +116    4   Q RUCT
2 Peons Agricultura RSGQ         5   4  1  0   53  19  +34    4   Q RUCT
3 MEQ Fidelissimae Plebes SDR    5   3  0  2   63  78  −15    3   Q RUCT
4 MEQ Plebs Fidelis SDR          5   2  0  3   49  86  −37    2
5 Peons Duus RSGQ                5   1  0  4   24  84  −60    1
6 Peons Unus-et-trius RSGQ       5   0  0  5   19  57  −38    0

by **Paradystopia** » Fri May 29, 2026 12:01 am

"So close, weren't we? Nearly had them Auprussians we did, until them two extra time goals that is."

"Sorry? What? Auprussians?"

"Yeah, you know. Birivistice ..."

"Barry who?"

"No, Birivistice. C'mon, you know! The Associations Trophy final."

"The Final?! When did that happen?!"

"... Yesterday ... Saltquarry lost in extra time to the Auprussian Birivistice ... 1-1 at the end of the ninety, but we couldn't hang on through extra time."

"Hang on, just hold up a second ... How can the Associations Trophy final have happened when the FLoP hasn't even started yet?"

"... Hasn't started?! ... No, no, it's over. All wrapped up."

"You are shitting me! When did that happen?"

"... Ermmm ... over the last few months, like any regular football season? ... Yeah. I mean Saltquarry took a second title in a bit of a close run affair with the Xat'i, claimed the double with a Rondeau win over Querentes, and then ..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, you don't understand. When did this happen!? I just thought the FLoP wasn't even taking place this year, what with all the preparations for the fucking World Cup. Bringing all the stadia up to scratch and all that. Tried to get into the Slagheap Lane Ground and was told it was closed for renovations."

"Oh yeah, most teams played their matches at smaller venues whilst the World Cup prep was happening. All Paradystopi arenas are a bit on the small side for the World Cup you know. I actually saw the Xat'i play Farslum Hoo in a potato field not far out of St. Agnants. A fallow one, like. Three-one to the Xat'i that was, Farslum held them to a draw on the final day of the season though, not that a win for the Xat'i would've seen them overtake the Salties."

"Okay, so all the matches got played in different venues whilst facilities got updated ahead of World Cup 100 but ..."

"World Cup 101."

"Didn't World Cup 100 get cancelled?"

"Nope. West Pavola. Wotdgercallit won ... You know, ... ermm ... 'thingy' ... ermmm ..."

"I don't bloody know ... I didn't even know it had happened. Anyway, so despite the preparations for World Cup 101, why has there been zero broadcasting, or results in the news?"

"Squornshelous Remainder States!"

"... What do they have to do with obstructing the release of FLoP results ... and I thought it was 'Remnant States'?"

"Oh, nothing. They won the last World Cup is all. Just suddenly came to me, anywho, from what I heard from my dad's mate, who apparently heard from his mate, who knows this lass who works in the offices for Oldetoun, they were keeping the league under wraps to create a sort of lack of football to sort of starve the local populace of sporting entertainment to insure bigger crowds at the World Cup games. You see, apparently, it's Taxhavn execs in Lithico looking to maximise profits from the tournament, but it's all very hush-hush, you know?"

"That sounds an awful lot like bullshit to me ..."

"Ah, well, that's what they want you to think. Occam's razor, isn't it? If they go and concoct an elaborate and convoluted plan, people will naturally assume it's not true and find their own simpler explanations ..."

"Like, that all the funding has gone into preparing for the World Cup, the FLoP was an afterthought, and the committee have found a stupid reason to blame Taxhavn and/or the Farfs for their own mismanagement?"

"See! Their plan is working like a dream!"

"To be honest, I'm surprised they didn't blame it all on Error Message and the South Oeopolisish lot."

"Oh, you won't have heard. Error's left the FLoP. Wants to become a professional snowboarder now after apparently winning the Olympics."

"... You're kidding ..."

"No, honest. Most of the Erroropolis players left before the start of the season, he was struggling to put together a squad, so he just upped and left, and took his monkey with him. Donald Muck got hastily thrown in as manager and was basically fielded a team of youth players all season. Finished bottom, bless 'em, but with Error gone they might be able to tempt back some of their previous players. That said, I think a lot of them are happy at Querentes now."

"So Bognobb avoided the wooden spoon then?"

"And then some! They finished twelfth, ahead of Shandy, Barkentyne, and the Wamp as well as the Ro-ro."

"Wow ... Didn't beat the penguins though?"

"Well ... Scratch Lobsterbane has only gone and taken the Penguins to the IFCF ..."

"No fucking way ... Really? ..."

"Yep. Fifth, ahead of Oldetoun, who have another season of just missing out. So, you've got Saltquarry and the Xat'i into the Champions League, then the Vidders, the Hoo, and the Penguins into the Challengers. After Oldetoun, there was Querentes, then Zygnusgrad and Troglograd, can't remember which way around, and then the Ossies!"

"Shit. Obviously Keith Mordenholm's post-football nonsense isn't working for them ..."

"Too many draws. Just couldn't get themselves ahead. Seems touch-and-go whether they stick with Mordenholm. Dunno who they'd replace him with though. Can't imagine that tenth placers in the Paradystopi league is much of a draw for any international folks."

"No ... they do have plenty of Urbsclavian backing though, and a loyal fanbase. Wonder whether Oldetoun will stick with Smith-Cocker too?"

"I've not heard anything on that front. I think that they want to stick with Patrick, you know, local lad, great servant to the team and his country, they really want it to work but Oldetoun should be fighting the Xat'i for Champions League places, not losing a battle with the Penguins to scrape an IFCF spot."

"Very true."

"Anyway, I should get back to work. These sodding penguins ain't gonna polish themselves ..."

"You're polishing penguins?"

"Well, giving them a wash and that. Gotta get things looking respectable in time for the World Cup ..."

"Are they not capable of preening themselves?"

"They are, but you know, a little spot of shampoo really sharpens up those white bellies and we need to set a good first impression for the first World Cup on Paradystopi soil."

"Oh certainly. Three doping scandals, and a round and a half of replays because of match-fixing thus far under our watch, but sure, everyone will be impressed by the shiny sea birds ..."

FULL RESULTS:
Domestic:
MD1

SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–3 Random Penguins XI
AC Oeopolis Northern 1–2 Querentes Oeopolis
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 2–0 Bognobb FC
Farslum Hoo SC 2–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Greater Erroropolis SC 0–1 Xat'i Paradystopi
Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–1 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 1–2 AC Pantsdon Shandy
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1–0 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun

MD2

Random Penguins XI 1–0 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–0 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Xat'i Paradystopi 4–3 Barkentyne Abertynkle
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 3–3 Greater Erroropolis SC
Bognobb FC 0–6 Farslum Hoo SC
Querentes Oeopolis 1–4 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
SK Zlatari Troglograd 1–0 AC Oeopolis Northern

MD3

AC Oeopolis Northern 0–1 Random Penguins XI
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–0 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Farslum Hoo SC 3–3 Querentes Oeopolis
Greater Erroropolis SC 1–0 Bognobb FC
Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–1 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 2–1 Xat'i Paradystopi
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–1 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy

MD4

Random Penguins XI 2–2 AC Pantsdon Shandy
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 0–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Xat'i Paradystopi 2–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 2–4 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Bognobb FC 0–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Querentes Oeopolis 4–0 Greater Erroropolis SC
SK Zlatari Troglograd 3–3 Farslum Hoo SC
AC Oeopolis Northern 0–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC

MD5

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 0–2 Random Penguins XI
Farslum Hoo SC 2–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
Greater Erroropolis SC 3–1 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Barkentyne Abertynkle 2–2 Querentes Oeopolis
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 0–1 Bognobb FC
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–2 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 4–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–2 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens

MD6

Random Penguins XI 4–6 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Xat'i Paradystopi 5–1 AC Pantsdon Shandy
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Bognobb FC 0–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Querentes Oeopolis 2–2 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
SK Zlatari Troglograd 3–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
AC Oeopolis Northern 1–0 Greater Erroropolis SC
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 5–1 Farslum Hoo SC

MD7

Farslum Hoo SC 3–1 Random Penguins XI
Greater Erroropolis SC 0–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–1 AC Oeopolis Northern
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 0–1 SK Zlatari Troglograd
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 4–3 Querentes Oeopolis
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 4–0 Bognobb FC
AC Pantsdon Shandy 3–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–2 Xat'i Paradystopi

MD8

Random Penguins XI 3–5 Xat'i Paradystopi
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Bognobb FC 0–1 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Querentes Oeopolis 1–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–5 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
AC Oeopolis Northern 0–2 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 3–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Farslum Hoo SC 1–0 Greater Erroropolis SC

MD9

Greater Erroropolis SC 0–4 Random Penguins XI
Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–2 Farslum Hoo SC
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 0–0 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 2–0 SK Zlatari Troglograd
AC Pantsdon Shandy 2–0 Querentes Oeopolis
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 0–0 Bognobb FC
Xat'i Paradystopi 3–1 St. Agnant's Wamp SC

MD10

Random Penguins XI 4–1 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Bognobb FC 1–1 Xat'i Paradystopi
Querentes Oeopolis 2–2 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
SK Zlatari Troglograd 1–1 AC Pantsdon Shandy
AC Oeopolis Northern 1–3 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 3–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Farslum Hoo SC 3–2 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Greater Erroropolis SC 2–5 Barkentyne Abertynkle

MD11

Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–0 Random Penguins XI
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 3–2 Greater Erroropolis SC
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1–1 Farslum Hoo SC
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
AC Pantsdon Shandy 4–1 AC Oeopolis Northern
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 0–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Xat'i Paradystopi 3–4 Querentes Oeopolis
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 2–0 Bognobb FC

MD12

Random Penguins XI 2–1 Bognobb FC
Querentes Oeopolis 1–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–1 Xat'i Paradystopi
AC Oeopolis Northern 2–1 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Farslum Hoo SC 1–0 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Greater Erroropolis SC 2–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Barkentyne Abertynkle 2–3 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad

MD13

Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 3–2 Random Penguins XI
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–1 Barkentyne Abertynkle
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 4–4 Greater Erroropolis SC
AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–2 Farslum Hoo SC
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Xat'i Paradystopi 1–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–1 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Bognobb FC 0–2 Querentes Oeopolis

MD14

Random Penguins XI 0–2 Querentes Oeopolis
SK Zlatari Troglograd 1–0 Bognobb FC
AC Oeopolis Northern 0–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 5–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
Farslum Hoo SC 1–1 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Greater Erroropolis SC 1–5 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Barkentyne Abertynkle 1–3 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 4–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja

MD15

AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 2–3 Random Penguins XI
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 0–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–1 Barkentyne Abertynkle
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 2–0 Greater Erroropolis SC
Xat'i Paradystopi 3–1 Farslum Hoo SC
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 2–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Bognobb FC 0–1 AC Oeopolis Northern
Querentes Oeopolis 2–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    15   11   2   2    30   13  +17    59
 2 Farslum Hoo SC                15    9   4   2    32   19  +13    53
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   15    9   2   4    34   24  +10    49
 4 Xat'i Paradystopi             15    9   1   5    38   29   +9    47
 5 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      15    8   3   4    25   15  +10    46
 6 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      15    8   2   5    27   20   +7    44
 7 Random Penguins XI            15    8   2   5    32   27   +5    44
 8 Querentes Oeopolis            15    6   6   3    31   26   +5    42
 9 SK Zlatari Troglograd         15    7   3   5    22   21   +1    41
10 AC Pantsdon Shandy            15    6   2   7    21   19   +2    34
11 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   15    5   4   6    19   19    0    33
12 AC Oeopolis Northern          15    4   1  10     8   21  −13    22
13 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          15    3   3   9    14   26  −12    21
14 Barkentyne Abertynkle         15    2   3  10    15   28  −13    16
15 Greater Erroropolis SC        15    2   3  10    18   37  −19    16
16 Bognobb FC                    15    1   3  11     3   25  −22    11
MD16

Random Penguins XI 4–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Querentes Oeopolis 2–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
Bognobb FC 0–2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 1–3 Farslum Hoo SC
Xat'i Paradystopi 5–2 Greater Erroropolis SC
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 2–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja

MD17

SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–1 Random Penguins XI
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 1–2 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
Greater Erroropolis SC 3–3 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Farslum Hoo SC 1–0 Bognobb FC
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 2–1 Querentes Oeopolis
AC Oeopolis Northern 0–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd

MD18

Random Penguins XI 1–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
SK Zlatari Troglograd 4–5 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Querentes Oeopolis 0–1 Farslum Hoo SC
Bognobb FC 1–1 Greater Erroropolis SC
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Xat'i Paradystopi 1–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 0–0 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun

MD19

AC Pantsdon Shandy 1–3 Random Penguins XI
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 0–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 0–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Barkentyne Abertynkle 3–0 Bognobb FC
Greater Erroropolis SC 1–2 Querentes Oeopolis
Farslum Hoo SC 3–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 3–0 AC Oeopolis Northern

MD20

Random Penguins XI 0–0 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
AC Oeopolis Northern 0–0 Farslum Hoo SC
SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–0 Greater Erroropolis SC
Querentes Oeopolis 3–4 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Bognobb FC 1–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 1–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Xat'i Paradystopi 3–2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 2–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy

MD21

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 2–0 Random Penguins XI
AC Pantsdon Shandy 1–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 3–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1–0 Bognobb FC
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 5–4 Querentes Oeopolis
Barkentyne Abertynkle 1–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Greater Erroropolis SC 1–2 AC Oeopolis Northern
Farslum Hoo SC 2–2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC

MD22

Random Penguins XI 1–1 Farslum Hoo SC
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–1 Greater Erroropolis SC
AC Oeopolis Northern 1–1 Barkentyne Abertynkle
SK Zlatari Troglograd 4–2 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Querentes Oeopolis 2–3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Bognobb FC 2–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Xat'i Paradystopi 2–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens

MD23

Xat'i Paradystopi 2–1 Random Penguins XI
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 0–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
AC Pantsdon Shandy 0–1 Bognobb FC
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 0–2 Querentes Oeopolis
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 4–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 3–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Greater Erroropolis SC 2–2 Farslum Hoo SC

MD24

Random Penguins XI 4–2 Greater Erroropolis SC
Farslum Hoo SC 4–1 Barkentyne Abertynkle
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 2–0 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
AC Oeopolis Northern 0–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–0 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Querentes Oeopolis 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Bognobb FC 0–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 4–4 Xat'i Paradystopi

MD25

St. Agnant's Wamp SC 1–1 Random Penguins XI
Xat'i Paradystopi 2–2 Bognobb FC
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 1–1 Querentes Oeopolis
AC Pantsdon Shandy 2–2 SK Zlatari Troglograd
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1–1 AC Oeopolis Northern
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 0–1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 2–0 Farslum Hoo SC
Barkentyne Abertynkle 3–1 Greater Erroropolis SC

MD26

Random Penguins XI 2–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
Greater Erroropolis SC 1–1 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Farslum Hoo SC 3–3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
AC Oeopolis Northern 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
SK Zlatari Troglograd 3–1 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Querentes Oeopolis 2–6 Xat'i Paradystopi
Bognobb FC 1–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC

MD27

Bognobb FC 1–3 Random Penguins XI
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 2–3 Querentes Oeopolis
Xat'i Paradystopi 4–3 SK Zlatari Troglograd
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 0–0 AC Oeopolis Northern
AC Pantsdon Shandy 1–4 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 2–2 Farslum Hoo SC
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 0–0 Greater Erroropolis SC
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 1–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle

MD28

Random Penguins XI 4–2 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
Barkentyne Abertynkle 2–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Greater Erroropolis SC 1–3 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Farslum Hoo SC 3–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–1 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
AC Oeopolis Northern 0–1 Xat'i Paradystopi
SK Zlatari Troglograd 3–1 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Querentes Oeopolis 3–1 Bognobb FC

MD29

Querentes Oeopolis 2–4 Random Penguins XI
Bognobb FC 1–0 SK Zlatari Troglograd
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 0–1 AC Oeopolis Northern
Xat'i Paradystopi 3–0 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 2–1 Farslum Hoo SC
AC Pantsdon Shandy 5–3 Greater Erroropolis SC
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 4–0 Barkentyne Abertynkle
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–2 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad

MD30

Random Penguins XI 0–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 0–1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Barkentyne Abertynkle 1–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy
Greater Erroropolis SC 0–2 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
Farslum Hoo SC 2–2 Xat'i Paradystopi
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 2–0 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
AC Oeopolis Northern 1–4 Bognobb FC
SK Zlatari Troglograd 1–2 Querentes Oeopolis
.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    30   20   7   3    57   27  +30   114
 2 Xat'i Paradystopi             30   19   6   5    82   52  +30   107
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   30   17   7   6    59   42  +17    99
 4 Farslum Hoo SC                30   15  11   4    60   39  +21    97
 5 Random Penguins XI            30   16   6   8    61   45  +16    92
 6 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      30   13   9   8    47   32  +15    83
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            30   13   7  10    61   57   +4    79
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         30   14   4  12    56   51   +5    78
 9 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      30   13   6  11    49   43   +6    77
10 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   30   11  11   8    33   28   +5    77
11 AC Oeopolis Northern          30    7   5  18    15   41  −26    45
12 Bognobb FC                    30    6   7  17    18   44  −26    44
13 AC Pantsdon Shandy            30    7   4  19    31   46  −15    43
14 Barkentyne Abertynkle         30    7   4  19    31   53  −22    43
15 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          30    4   9  17    28   52  −24    38
16 Greater Erroropolis SC        30    2   9  19    37   73  −36    28
Rondeau Preliminary Round - First Leg

Bognobb FC 0–0 AC Oeopolis Northern

Second Leg

AC Oeopolis Northern 2–0 Bognobb FC (2-0 agg.)

Rondeau Round 1 - First Leg

Greater Erroropolis SC 0–2 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens
AC Pantsdon Shandy 1–0 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 6–1 SK Zlatari Troglograd
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–0 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun
Xat'i Paradystopi 3–1 St. Agnant's Wamp SC
Farslum Hoo SC 4–1 Barkentyne Abertynkle
AC Oeopolis Northern 0–1 Querentes Oeopolis

Round 1 - Second Leg

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 2–2 Greater Erroropolis SC (4-2 agg.)
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 2–0 AC Pantsdon Shandy (2-1 agg.)
SK Zlatari Troglograd 2–2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (3-8 agg.)
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 0–2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC (0-3 agg.)
St. Agnant's Wamp SC 1–0 Xat'i Paradystopi (2-3 agg.)
Barkentyne Abertynkle 0–2 Farslum Hoo SC (1-6 agg.)
Querentes Oeopolis 0–0 AC Oeopolis Northern (1-0 agg.)

Round 2 - First Leg

AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens 0–2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Random Penguins XI 4–5 Querentes Oeopolis
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 6–3 Xat'i Paradystopi
Farslum Hoo SC 2–2 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad

Second Leg

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 0–0 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens (2-0 agg.)
Querentes Oeopolis 0–1 Random Penguins XI (5-5 agg., 6-5 AET)
Xat'i Paradystopi 2–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (5-7 agg.)
Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad 5–5 Farslum Hoo SC (7-7 agg, 8-8 AET, 3–4 pen.)

Rondeau Semi-finals - First Leg

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1–0 Farslum Hoo SC
Querentes Oeopolis 3–1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja

Second Leg

Farslum Hoo SC 3–3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC (3-4 agg.)
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3–2 Querentes Oeopolis (5-6 agg.)

Rondeau Final

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 4–1 Querentes Oeopolis
International:

IFCF Champions League - Second Qualifying Round - First Leg
AFC Sephi Town (HNL) 4–2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC

IFCF Champions League - Second Qualifying Round - Second Leg
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1-0 AFC Sephi Town (HNL) (3-4 agg.)
IFCF Challengers Cup - First Qualifying Round - First Leg
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1-1 Atixa Mistral (KNZ)
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 1-1 Ceramadhion Lynx FC (TKT)

IFCF Challengers Cup - First Qualifying Round - Second Leg
Atixa Mistral (KNZ) 0-3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (1-4 agg.)
Ceramadhion Lynx FC (TKT) 0-1 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun (1-2 agg.)

IFCF Challengers Cup - Second Qualifying Round - First Leg
SC Oldetoun New Newetoun 3-3 Huskburg IF (VET)
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 1-0 FC Cebuenas (HSP)
Geok FK (KRK) 0–2 Xat'i Paradystopi

IFCF Challengers Cup - Second Qualifying Round - Second Leg
Huskburg IF (VET) 3-2 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun (6-5 agg.)
FC Cebuenas (HSP) 1-3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (1-4 agg.)
Xat'i Paradystopi 0-0 Geok FK (KRK) (2-0 agg.)

IFCF Challengers Cup - Third Qualifying Round - First Leg
Ausnes FC (CGS) 1–2 Xat'i Paradystopi
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 3-1 Tsear FC (SAT)
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 2-1 SC Rinaldi (VAL)

IFCF Challengers Cup - Third Qualifying Round - Second Leg
Xat'i Paradystopi 0-0 Ausnes FC (CGS) (2-1 agg.)
Tsear FC (SAT) 0-2 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (1-5 agg.)
SC Rinaldi (VAL) 0-3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC (1-5 agg.)

IFCF Challengers Cup - Fourth Qualifying Round - First Leg
AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja 0-4 Z'ai'ai (CMT)
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 0-2 Carathyr Emeralds FC (TKT)
Lewden FC (HDS) 1-4 Xat'i Paradystopi

IFCF Challengers Cup - Fourth Qualifying Round - Second Leg
Z'ai'ai (CMT) 0-1 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja (4-1 agg.)
Carathyr Emeralds FC (TKT) 1-4 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC (3-4 agg.)
Xat'i Paradystopi 2-1 Lewden FC (HDS) (6-2 agg.)

IFCF Challengers Cup - Playoff Round - First Leg
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1-3 Orchideeën (TAX)
Wirr Tsi (CMT) 0–2 Xat'i Paradystopi

IFCF Challengers Cup - Playoff Round - Second Leg
Orchideeën (TAX) 0-1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC (3-2 agg.)
Xat'i Paradystopi 0-0 Wirr Tsi (CMT) (2-0 agg.)

IFCF Challengers Cup - Group Stage

Xat'i Paradystopi 0-1 New Hind City FC (INS)
Xat'i Paradystopi 1-1 UR Town (EFL)
Xat'i Paradystopi 2-0 Auprussia NF (AUP)
New Hind City FC (INS) 4-3 Xat'i Paradystopi
UR Town (EFL) 4-3 Xat'i Paradystopi
Auprussia NF 1-2 Xat'i Paradystopi
#  Group A                                       P  W  D  L  GF  GA  GD  Pts
1  New Hind City FC                        INS   6  4  1  1  11   9   2   13 
2  UR Town                                 EFL   6  2  2  2  11  10   1    8 
3  Xat'i Paradystopi                       PDT   6  2  1  3  11  11   0    7 
4  Auprussia NF                            AUP   6  2  0  4   7  10  -3    6
IFCF Associations Trophy - Group Stage

New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 0-3 Tanrısal (PAS)
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1-1 Lewden FC (HDS)
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 0-1 Damogran FC (SRS)
Tanrısal (PAS) 1-3 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Lewden FC (HDS) 1-2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Damogran FC (SRS) 1-2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
#  Group B                                       P  W  D  L  GF  GA  GD  Pts
1  Tanrısal                                PAS   6  4  1  1  16  10   6   13  
2  New Newetoun Saltquarry SC              PDT   6  3  1  2   8   8   0   10  
3  Lewden FC                               HDS   6  1  2  3   7  11  -4    5  
4  Damogran FC                             SRS   6  1  2  3   9  11  -2    5
IFCF Associations Trophy - Round of 32 - First Leg
Aquilian Shores (SNE) 1–2 Xat'i Paradystopi
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1-0 Jaffro Storm (DRK)

IFCF Associations Trophy - Round of 32 - Second Leg
Xat'i Paradystopi 1-0 Aquilian Shores (SNE) (3-1 agg.)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 1-2 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC (1-3 agg.)

IFCF Associations Trophy - Round of 16 - First Leg
Tanrısal (PAS) 1-1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC
Xat'i Paradystopi 2-3 Black Leopards (BIY)

IFCF Associations Trophy - Round of 16 - Second Leg
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 4-3 Tanrısal (PAS) (5-4 agg.)
Black Leopards (BIY) 1-1 Xat'i Paradystopi (4-3 agg.)

IFCF Associations Trophy - Quarter-final - First Leg
FK Vselitamak (PYA) 3-5 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC

IFCF Associations Trophy - Quarter-final - Second Leg
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 0-0 FK Vselitamak (PYA) (5-3 agg.)

IFCF Associations Trophy - Semi-final - First Leg
Black Leopards (BIY) 1–0 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC

IFCF Associations Trophy - Semi-final - Second Leg
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 2-0 Black Leopards (BIY) (2-1 agg.)

IFCF Associations Trophy - Final
New Newetoun Saltquarry SC 1-1 Birivistice (AUP) (1-3 AET)
IFCF Cup Winners' Cup - Preliminary Round - First Leg

Random Penguins XI 0-2 AS Kopeng (BME)

IFCF Cup Winners' Cup - Preliminary Round - Second Leg

AS Kopeng (BME) 2-3 Random Penguins XI (4-3 agg.)

FINAL STANDINGS

.  FLoP16                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 New Newetoun Saltquarry SC    30   20   7   3    57   27  +30   114   IFCF CL, IFCF CWC, CEdC
 2 Xat'i Paradystopi             30   19   6   5    82   52  +30   107   IFCF CL
 3 AC Urbsclawydraeksterlutrja   30   17   7   6    59   42  +17    99   IFCF CC
 4 Farslum Hoo SC                30   15  11   4    60   39  +21    97   IFCF CC
 5 Random Penguins XI            30   16   6   8    61   45  +16    92   IFCF CC
 6 SC Oldetoun New Newetoun      30   13   9   8    47   32  +15    83
 7 Querentes Oeopolis            30   13   7  10    61   57   +4    79   CEdC
 8 SK Zlatari Troglograd         30   14   4  12    56   51   +5    78
 9 Tzrna Zvyedza Zygnusgrad      30   13   6  11    49   43   +6    77
10 AC Urbsclavoszydensanorjens   30   11  11   8    33   28   +5    77
11 AC Oeopolis Northern          30    7   5  18    15   41  −26    45
12 Bognobb FC                    30    6   7  17    18   44  −26    44
13 AC Pantsdon Shandy            30    7   4  19    31   46  −15    43
14 Barkentyne Abertynkle         30    7   4  19    31   53  −22    43
15 St. Agnant's Wamp SC          30    4   9  17    28   52  −24    38
16 Greater Erroropolis SC        30    2   9  19    37   73  −36    28

P.R.A.T. (Paradystopi Records & Archiving Team)

FLoP16 - Preview 1/2

FLoP16 - Preview 2/2

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 1-4

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 5-7

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 8-9

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 10-12

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 13-16

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 17-19

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 20-26

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 27-28

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 29-30

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 31-32

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 33-35

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 36-37

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 38-40

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 41-42

FLoP16 - S3 - Weeks 43-45

SMAFLQDTONPAS S4

TADRUL S3

FLoP16 - S4

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