World Cup 101 - The Roleplays

by **Delaclava** » Thu May 14, 2026 7:33 pm

Waringpost
PSLs, frappes, other drinks not legally coffee

The Ministry of Agriculture and Nutrition and the Ministry of Culture have released a joint decree stating that cafés and other establishments are no longer allowed to describe certain drinks as "coffee" if the sugar or cream content is too high.

"The Ministries will work together to promulgate regulations that limit the content of certain non-coffee elements, including but not limited to sugar, cream, fat, dairy, and dairy substitutes, in drinks that are described or categorized as "coffee" or a "coffee drink". These rules will apply to all establishments serving food and drink. Establishments which hold themselves out as cafés, coffee bars, or any other label indicating that the establishment specializes in coffee will be further restricted from selling such drinks.

"It is the policy goal of both Ministries and of the executive government of Delaclava to promote nutritional health and clarity, consumer transparency, and a strong Delaclav coffee culture."

The joint decree appears to directly respond to a growing trend for coffee shops to sell and promote sugary and creamy coffee drinks. Some, such as a "café shake"—a blend of cream, ice, whipped cream, sometimes coffee, and other flavors—and caramel macchiatos, are sold year-round; others, such as pumpkin spice lattes and creme brulee lattes, are seasonal in nature. Although the practice remains relatively uncommon in Delaclava, it is immensely popular in some other countries.

The decision to issue the mandate was met with some irate customers. "It's not fair!" wailed Kevyn Dikes, a customer outside of Cerulean Cafe in downtown Corcorran. "Why should the government care if I have an extra large caramel macchiato with four pumps of vanilla, decaf espresso, soy milk, and additional pecan praline topping? Yes, I'm still allowed to have it. But they're not calling it coffee, and that's not inclusive. It makes me feel ashamed and I don't like it."

Shelly Carlson, the tiny, wizened barista inside Cerulean Cafe, took a different tone. "Look, if it'll cut down on these kids asking for fifty different things and just get a nice cup of coffee instead, good on them. Now are you gonna order something or can we keep it moving?"

Others greeted the move with more confusion than ire. Michael Robinson, a professor of economics at Straka State University, said, "I'm not sure what the point is. This is a relatively small corner of the Delaclava coffee market we're talking about; we might have even seen this trend go away altogether. And the drinks aren't being banned; they just have to be advertised differently. Were the ministries just particularly bored this week? Or is Anna Voss fearful that we'll suddenly be consumed by a horde of milkshake drinkers?"

Some, however, welcomed the announcement. "The farming, brewing, and crafting of coffee is a national pride of Delaclava, and a personal pride of many business owners and baristas around the country," said Benito Arrai, owner of Benito's Café and Restaurant in Worthington. "A fine cold brew can kick off a beautiful summer day; a good espresso with friends fuels community and conversation. Lately, too many business owners have gotten caught up in creating profit, creating shock value, churning out spectacle rather than offering a great product and a space for social gathering. A society that keeps its coffee simple and delicious is a productive, happy, and well-adjusted one."

by **HUElavia** » Thu May 14, 2026 7:54 pm

MD 9:
HUElavia 1–3 Aphrilia
(Serra 14' | Forrestal 44', Rhine-Faust 62', Meyer-Bertrand 89')
Estadio Capital, Curumba, HUElavia

MD 10:
HUElavia 4–1 Carpathia and Ruthenia
(Pazarella 3', Milano 22', 82', Pinto 56' | Bassi 90+1')
Estadio Maria Santos Leite, Miras, HUElavia

Previously on...

Blur

4.5 Night Run

Vinicius and Orije started to hit the breaks and slow down, with the realization of the finish starting to fall upon the two racers. Vinicius felt relief and jubilation, as he slammed on his steering wheel, taking in the great joy of winning his first street race. Orije felt relief he did not have to race the Z anymore, but felt remorse he lost and now had to give up 2.4K Hueks over to Vinicius. Both cars turned to make a U-turn and drove back slowly towards the crowd, rushing to pat and cheer on Vinicius and his Z. The Super rolled up to the side of the Z, as the cars went into the parking lot, with people joining in, before both cars found an empty area to park, with people surrounding them.

Jesus found his way through the crowd to get towards the two cars, where Vinicius turned off his car and stepped out. Rodrigo and Franco came up to him with a great grin on their faces.

"Holy shit dude! That was so awesome! Congrats on winning!"
"Vinicius, that was a crazy, nervy finish! We're happy you won!"
"Thanks you two, I appreciate it!"

People came up to Vinicius, to give him a high-five, handshakes or pats to congratulate him for the victory. Orije meanwhile started to pull out the money from his wallet and step out from his Super, just wanting to get through the ordeal. His friends came up to him patting him and giving words of support. He walked up to Vinicius, with him turning over to Orije.

"Hey man, good race, you really pushed me to the limit."
"Fo' sure. Here's the cash. And I'll admit, that ain't no shitbox you have there."
"Thank you, I-"
"But that car isn't a joke. And I think it's something you should be careful racing with out there..."

Orije shook Vinicius' hand and walked away back to his friends, while Vinicius was left surprised by that statement. He did feel as if the car was controlling him, but he felt he had control of the car throughout the race. Jesus walked up to Vinicius and gave him and handshake and hug.

"Hey, congrats on the win man. Some hell of a finish. I heard from the halfway point the people said you guys were really neck and neck."
"Yeah, Orije really raced me hard. Yet, I was about to push this Z further and got that win."
"Did you get the cash already?"
"Yeah, the full 2.4K in 100s."
"Hey, if you're interested in these sorts of things, why don't we exchange contacts to keep in touch?"
"Yeah, I'm down for that."

The two exchanged phone numbers, and shook hands. After chatting with some people and saying his goodbyes, Vinicius started to drive back home. It was about 1 AM at this point, a quick, but eventful night. He had 4.2K in his pocket, he won his first street race and felt happy and grateful about it. Yet, he felt uneasy with the fact that he was in that terrifying trance again. While the voice of the Z did not speak to him as much, the fact that it did again was concerning. Yet, he felt inclined to push this car to its limit. He felt he had more left to do with this Z before he was satisfied with it.

To be continued...

by **Qusmo** » Thu May 14, 2026 7:58 pm

“Ivo.” Oh no. No, that wasn’t good. Thaís never said their name like that. Never even said their name, really. It was all just babe, occasionally baby or something or other, but never their actual, real, legal name — the same name they used to register for state benefits, the same name the baristas in Cathair somehow managed to mess up when they went for a coffee in the morning. And it wasn’t a question, either. “Ivo?” sounded curious, intrigued, perhaps concerned. “Ivo” was deadly. She had no question. She already had the answer. And, it seemed, that answer was far from her satisfaction.

“Yes, dear?” Damage control. Damage control by any means necessary. A sweet voice, a doting nickname, a nonspecific question that implied nothing was wrong, whatever could be wrong, of course nothing was wrong, while trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong, without letting her know they had no idea what was wrong.

“Am I not enough for you?” The words hit like a freight train. Ivo’s head was spinning from the impact. Ivo thought they had feared the worst, but clearly they hadn’t feared enough. Not even a minute ago they were blithely enjoying the Qusmo match on TV, what the hell was happening?

“What?” they staggered, searching for the words, searching for any words, searching for words quickly, words now, cut off these emotions at the source, stop feeling this way, stop feeling this horrible awful way now.

They’d never forget the look Thaís gave them. “You won’t even admit it?” Her tone was not so much angry as it was disbelieving. Disrespected. Incredulous. Was she more insulted her partner really thought so low of her intelligence that she wouldn’t know, or embarrassed that her partner was such a fucking idiot that they themselves didn’t know what she was talking about? Ivo’s phone vibrated to notify them of something or other. “There it goes again!”

“What, my phone?” It had been making its presence known, but surely that was all phones? The attention-starved things surely couldn’t torpedo Ivo’s relationship. They opened their lock screen to see what was the matter. Their scores tracker app had notified them that Qusmo had scored to take the lead, three-two, in their Qualifying match at Daulapura Stadium against Eraman. It didn’t realize they were already watching the match live and didn’t need to constantly be updated every time the score changed.

“Babe, look, I can explain! It’s just goals!” Triumphant over the evident miscommunication. Satisfied in its sufficiency. Practically shoved the screen in her face, with nervous excitement abounding to put this all to bed, put this past them, forget this ever even happened. “You people just aren’t used to high-scoring games because Audioslavia’s doing so well in the Ming Vase Metric.”

Ivo knew they’d fucked up. Everything was going so good. Why’d they have to fuck it up. Why the fuck did they have to fucking fuck this the fuck up. Not only did they feel they just had to points-score right as things seemed like they were about to calm again, they had to bring up the Ming Vase Metric. Everyone knew, as the Cathairist Critique pointed out just yesterday, that the Ming Vase Metric originally derived from a virginal allegory, a vestige of a purity culture so deeply embedded in a society that not even the supposedly apolitical realm of sport could offer women a haven from an omnipresent, inescapable, deeply oppressive misogyny which held that a woman’s worth lay in her sexual desirability and availability to—

“‘You people?’ Seriously, ‘you people?’ What the absolute, everloving fuck do you mean by—”

The phone buzzed again. The TV had been muted by now, so Ivo looked over to catch the goal celebration, maybe a replay, see who scored. Thaís tapped the notification banner. The TV just showed the ball being passed around the back line. Thaís stared at the screen, her face frozen, unchanging. She handed Ivo the phone, turned around silently, and wordlessly began walking out the room. Ivo started to call her back to stay, to talk things out, but glanced at what was on the screen in their hand. That wasn’t the scores tracker app. That was. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.

Just at that moment — only about a minute after the Monkey Kings and Caldera Sun had combined for a remarkable five goals within an eleven-minute span — Amets had texted them. His emojis were somehow twice as comprehensively, imaginatively, filthily lurid as even his words. Ivo’s body was frozen in place, their heart leaden, their lips unable to utter a single sound. They could hardly plead ignorance, as they knew full well their message history made it plain that the attraction was hardly unrequited.

Ivo listened to their partner leave their apartment forever. They knew there was nothing they could possibly say.

Ivo’s phone would buzz only twice more that night. One: their scores tracker notified them that the final score in Daulapura had gone three to two to Qusmo. Two: the Mathletic app notified them that it had published—

The Mathletic
Informed analysis.

QSIM: World Cup 101 Qualifying midpoint projections
Will surprise packages hold on to qualify? Can teams out of the race get back in?

We’ve finally reached the halfway point of World Cup 101 Qualifying. Qusmo is pitched in a battle for direct qualification for the tournament with razor-thin margins against the Busoga Islands, with Edsmontik leading the pack, and others hot on their heels for spots either in the playoffs or in the final tournament directly. But what can the first half of Qualifiers tell us about how the rest of the campaign will go? Can we predict which teams will qualify for the World Cup — not just in Group 11, but amongst every participating team in the Multiverse?

In collaboration with the Margaret Institute at the University of Zube in the Kytler Pensinulae, the Mathletic is proud to reveal its Quantitative Sporting Index Model, or QSIM, projections for World Cup 101 Qualifying at the halfway point of Qualifying’s group stage. We have simulated the remainder of Qualifying one thousand times, cataloguing which teams qualify and which teams fall short. Out of all one hundred sixty participating teams, QSIM can foresee scenarios in which any given one of them fall short and fail to qualify. Then again, it can also foresee scenarios in which all (but one) of them make it all the way to Farfadillis and Paradystopia.

We hope you’ve enjoyed the roller coaster of World Cup Qualifying thus far. Consider this our treat to you, from the Mathletic, as we begin to get ready for all the drama and suspense, before we begin to confirm, beyond any mathematical doubt, which forty-eight teams will play in World Cup 101.

Group 11 in focus

Edsmontik’s lead

At the beginning of Qualifiers, QSIM gave every team in Group 11 at least a nine percent chance of qualifying for the World Cup and at least a one in thirty chance of qualifying directly. That has changed. Now, only three teams have better than a one in forty chance of direct qualification, and for half the group, QSIM gives odds of less than five percent to qualify for the World Cup and zero percent to qualify directly as a top-two team.

The reason is that the race for the group’s two direct qualification spots seems like it’s heading for a three-team race — or, really, a two-team race for just the second slot. Five points clear of the entire field, with just one blemish on the entire campaign thus far, Edsmontik has compiled one of the most impressive starts to Qualifying of any team in the Multiverse. Out of one hundred sixty entrants to Qualifying in total, only eight teams have notched at least eight wins or twenty-four points, and only six have a goal difference equal to or better than positive fifteen. The Edsmon Eagles are one of only five teams to have done both, joining Audioslavia, Chromatika, Tikariot, and Valanora for company. QSIM thinks their odds of qualification have grown from 74.90% to 97.75%, and their odds of direct qualification have risen from 64.8% to 95.7%. After one thousand simulations, QSIM still can’t see any scenario in which Edsmontik falls any farther than fourth place in the final table, still good enough for a playoff bye.

Direct qualification race

If Edsmontik is so close to booking direct passage, then, only one more direct ticket remains out of Group 11. By far the two prime candidates for that spot are the Busoga Islands and Qusmo. These two teams are currently tied for second place, with nineteen points and a goal difference of positive-seven apiece — in the overall table of all one hundred sixty teams in Qualifiers, they currently rank exactly twenty-forth and twenty-fifth — but the Kangaroos have the advantage after winning their head-to-head fixture against Qusmo on matchday two.

These two teams lead fourth-placed Legalese by five points, and QSIM finds it unlikely that they or any other team below them will manage to surpass not just one of these teams, but both. Legalese has 2.5% odds of direct qualification, Kandorith has 0.9% odds, and in zero simulations out of a thousand did QSIM foresee any of Hintuwan, Eraman, Kendoria, Calgasia, or Serumpun recovering enough to finish in the top two of Group 11 and qualifying for the World Cup directly.

The Busoga Islands are higher-ranked: at seventeenth, opposed to forty-second. The Busoga Islands have had more contemporary success, even winning a knockout fixture at the most recent World Cup: a feat Qusmo has never before accomplished, despite hosting the tournament twice. The Busoga Islands have the head-to-head tiebreaker in hand: they defeated Qusmo two-one in Lakiska, and were Qualifiers to end now, that would be the difference to give them a spot in the World Cup and give Qusmo a spot in the playoffs.

Unsurprisingly, despite how tight the table is right now, QSIM thinks considerably higher of their chances, with a 68.4% chance to win the direct qualification race and an 83.01% chance to make it back to the World Cup overall — up from 57.8% and 68.61%, respectively, at the beginning of Qualifiers. Qusmo, meanwhile, has a 32.5% chance to finish in the top two, up from 26.4%, and a 60.66% chance to qualify overall, up from 39.94%. Notably, even with Qusmo’s strong performances, increased odds, and incredibly tight midpoint table, QSIM thinks the Kangaroos have a better chance of qualifying to the World Cup directly than the Caldera Sun does of qualifying to the World Cup at all.

Qanz will be the site of a potentially pivotal fixture on matchday eleven, as Qusmo hosts the Busoga Islands. They’d need to win by multiple goals to win the head-to-head tiebreaker, while the Busoga Islands would clinch the two-way head-to-head tiebreaker if they pick up any points. It will be a true six-pointer — shortly after the Busoga Islands hosts group leaders Edsmontik on matchday ten, in another fixture with the potential to shake up the Group 11 race early in the second half of the campaign.

Playoff race

Of course, these Qualifiers have a massively expanded set of playoffs, with teams three through five headed to a three-round playoff structure to anoint our final fourteen teams in the World Cup proper. Even though (at least) one has to miss out on direct qualification, QSIM thinks each of Edsmontik, the Busoga Islands, and Qusmo are near-certain to at the very least make the playoffs: Qusmo has 98.8% odds of finishing in the top five, the Busoga Islands has 99.9% odds, and Edsmontik has 100.0% odds, according to QSIM — up from 70.7%, 88.5%, and 93.3%, respectively, at the outset of Qualifiers.

After factoring in the near-certain presence of one Edsmontik–Busoga Islands–Qusmo loser, that likely leaves two spots left for the remaining seven teams. Fourth-placed Legalese is in pole position to earn one, with a 76.3% chance of playing in the playoffs and a 22.36% chance of qualifying. Although Legalese’s odds of direct qualification have dropped significantly, they’ve more than doubled their playoff probability, meaning they’ve still managed to raise their qualification odds moderately, from 19.01% to 22.36%.

Two points below — currently in the final playoff place and the last team which QSIM foresaw having any chance of qualifying directly in the course of a thousand simulations — is Kandorith. Their odds are perched somewhat precariously, with a 51.8% chance of making the playoffs and 52.7% chance of finishing in the top five overall. Unfortunately, dropping from 9.3% to 0.9% odds of direct qualification have hurt their overall qualification odds, which have dropped from 18.93% to 11.48%.

The Eternal Moon’s woes are far from the worst in the group, however. QSIM assigned 0.0% odds to any of the other five teams in the group qualifying directly, and none have even 5.00% odds of qualifying by any means. Unranked but sixth-placed Hintuwan has a 25.4% chance of making the playoffs and a 4.83% chance of qualifying — the best of the bunch, but still down from 9.50% at the beginning of Qualifying. Ninth-placed but fifty-seventh-ranked Calgasia is next, with 15.2% odds of making the playoffs and 2.66% odds of qualifying — the biggest fall in qualification odds of any team in Group 11, down from 25.75% when the groups were announced.

Next is Eraman, with 14.0% odds of making the playoffs and 2.38% qualification odds — down from 10.70% — and Kendoria, with 11.6% playoff odds and 1.84% qualification odds — down from 9.34%. In last place in both the table and in the QSIM qualification odds chart is Serumpun, which has just a 3.6% chance of making the playoffs and a 0.54% chance of turning things around to qualify for the World Cup, down from 10.83% at the outset of their debut Qualifying campaign.

Can any of these teams turn things around and manage to qualify for World Cup 101? Certainly, QSIM still sees paths for all of them. However, time is running out to start picking up form and making a push to the finish.

The broader picture

The top

QSIM doesn’t think any spots in World Cup 101 are booked quite yet — barely. Audioslavia and Flavovespia top our QSIM charts, as in our model’s one thousand simulations, it only forecasted one simulation each in which these leading teams failed to finish in the top two of their respective groups and miss out on direct qualification. Both Audioslavia and Flavovespia have 99.95% chances to qualify for World Cup 101 as of the midway point, according to QSIM — the joint-best in the Multiverse.

QSIM has a clear top twelve favorites to make it to the World Cup. Audioslavia, Flavovespia, Tikariot, Chromatika, Valanora, Aphrilia, the Squornshelan Remnant States, Saint Eleanor, the Kytler Peninsulae, Banija, Edsmontik, and Ko-oren each have at least a 95.6% chance of qualifying directly. The next-best nation, Kwrpania, sits at 88.3% odds. Each of the top twelve have at least 97.64% odds to qualify for the World Cup via any method. Kwrpania, also thirteenth by this statistic, sits at 93.40%. QSIM assigns perfect 100.0% odds of finishing in the top five to only eleven nations, each of which are in this group of twelve, with only the Kytler Peninsulae ever finishing as low as sixth, and in just one simulation out of one thousand.

Each of these top twelve teams are, predictably, pot one nations, but only nine currently lead their groups. Time will tell if QSIM will be proven correct on these twelve near-guaranteed qualifiers.

The bottom

As for the worst? Delitai has the unfortunate distinction of being the only team out of one hundred sixty entrants to Qualifying that QSIM has already assigned a 0.0% probability of qualification. They absolutely still can qualify mathematically, but QSIM could not find a single simulation out of one thousand in total in which they so much as made the playoffs. Sitting on a Qualifiers-worst one point, and one of only two teams in Qualifiers to have failed to win any of their fixtures so far, they will have to make enormous strides to get into the top five or, indeed, the World Cup. Jeckland and Cothe Saria, meanwhile, aren’t tremendously better, with only 0.01% odds of reaching the World Cup.

While the near-locks were all in the top twelve, at the bottom end of the QSIM projections, there’s a clear grouping of the bottom six. None of them have better than 0.3% odds of making the playoffs or a 0.05% chance of making the tournament — about as likely to miss World Cup 101, or more so, than either Audioslavia or Flavovespia are to make it. Every other team has at least five times the odds of making the playoffs as each of these six teams, and every other team has more than four times the odds of qualifying for the World Cup.

All in all, twenty-two teams already have odds of less than 1.00% of making the World Cup. That isn’t limited to necessarily obvious candidates, either. Frayston and New Eastern Canada are each in eighth place, but QSIM thinks it’s unlikely they’ll make it up at least three spots in the final group table and then survive the playoffs.

Mytanija and Stewartika are both former World Cup qualifiers, with the former even previously advancing as far as the quarterfinals, but QSIM doesn’t think they’ll make it back for World Cup 101. Stewartika and Woodsmere are both top-hundred nations, and Sangti and the Filindo Isles was even a pot four team, but QSIM doesn’t have confidence in any of them to do enough to turn it around.

The biggest surprise out of all these nations, perhaps, is Stewartika: despite being an eighty-eighth-ranked former World Cup qualifier, QSIM assigns it just 1.5% odds of making the playoffs and a 0.21% chance of qualifying for this World Cup. We spoke about the bottom six earlier, but Stewartika is the team with the seventh-worst odds of both making the playoffs and qualifying for the tournament.

The middle

A total of forty teams currently have greater than fifty percent odds of participating in the playoffs, ranging from Zenic — with the thirty-second-best odds of qualifying in general, with a 65.5% chance, to Kandorith, whose 11.48% qualification odds are eighty-third in Qualifiers — in the bottom half of all teams in Qualifying.

Four teams have playoff odds north of eighty percent, led by Milchama, with 85.6% playoff odds and 36.43% qualification odds, and Soviet Kem, with 83.1% playoff odds and 39.04% qualification odds. Coincidentally, those are also the teams with the forty-eighth- and forty-sixth-best qualification odds of any team in Qualifying, right on the very edge of the number of teams which will participate in the final tournament.

It’s worth looking at Soviet Kem’s qualification odds for a moment in a bit closer detail. Their 39.06% odds are forty-sixth in Qualifying, trailing forty-fifth-placed Airannia — the current group leader QSIM is most pessimistic on — with 43.40% odds. That means there’s a fairly substantial gap between forty-fifth and forty-sixth in the QSIM table. Still, forty-six teams will join the two automatically-qualified hosts to participate in World Cup 101. It is a certainty that at least one team currently with under forty percent odds will nonetheless qualify for and play in the World Cup — and, realistically, it won’t just be one. Even if your team has low odds, there’s a whole second half of Qualifying in which to catch fire, surpass rivals, and move up the table. Half of every group will get to make the playoffs, and from there, who knows just what might happen?

Elsewhere, QSIM has great faith that some teams will turn it around, while it is also skeptical of some current high fliers. If Qualifying were to end today, Tanirinthia would find itself in the playoffs as a third-placed team, but QSIM still thinks it has a 92.80% chance of qualifying for the World Cup — it large part because it still assigns the team an 87.5% chance of finishing in the top two despite not being there now. Those are the fourteenth-best odds in the Multiverse.

Similarly, Siovanija and Teusland is currently fifth place in its group. If Qualifiers were to end now, they’d take their group’s very final playoff spot and be forced to win three rounds of two-leg playoffs in succession to make it back to the World Cup. QSIM still thinks it has 80.41% odds of qualifying and even 72.2% odds of making it back into the top two to skip every round of the playoffs entirely.

On the other hand, QSIM still thinks it’s likelier than not that current group leaders Pomachetti and Airannia will fall back and miss the tournament. Pomachetti has 23.0% odds of hanging onto its direct qualification spot and a 71.6% chance of participating in the playoffs, for 45.15% odds of qualification in total. Airannia does have a 28.2% chance of qualifying directly but has only a 75.2% chance of even staying in the top five, meaning they are nearly equally as likely to book direct qualification as they are to miss the playoffs entirely, resulting in only 43.40% odds of qualifying. Still, these odds are forty-fourth- and forty-fifth-best of any team in the Multiverse.

All in all, QSIM only gives thirty-nine nations a better shot than not of playing in World Cup 101. Baker Park is thirty-ninth with 55.34% odds, while TJUN-ia is fortieth with 48.15% odds. That actually represents the largest gap, in percentage points, of any two teams adjacent to each other in the QSIM table. Still, it only means that more than half a dozen teams — and likely a lot more — will qualify for the World Cup despite currently having less than fifty-fifty odds of doing so.

The Pavolans

Casting our gaze closer to home, the four teams which entered World Cup 101 Qualifying from Pavola are all in fairly good shape so far. Tikariot and the Kytler Peninsulae are both in the top group of twelve teams. Tikariot has 99.8% odds of qualifying directly, perfect 100.0% odds of finishing in the top five, and 99.90% odds of qualifying for World Cup 101, third-best in the Multiverse. Meanwhile, the Kytler Peninsulae have 97.2% odds of finishing in the top two and 99.9% odds of finishing in the top five, with 98.40% odds of making it back to the World Cup, good for ninth of all Qualifying teams — this time, one not hosted within its borders.

Kwrpania is the only team of the quartet whose QSIM ranking trails their KPB+ rankings. They’re not bad, though, as the team with the best odds from any outside the group of twelve. The Electric Eels have an 88.3% chance of punching their ticket directly, a 99.6% chance of staying within the top five, and a 93.40% chance of qualifying for the World Cup overall. These three Pavolan teams are also the three teams with the best qualification odds of any nation which began Qualifying in Rushmore.

Qusmo is the only team out of these four which doesn’t have one of the thirteen best odds of making it to the World Cup, but they’re the only one out of the four whose KPB+ rankings fall outside the top thirteen, as well. Although they have the same number of points as Kwrpania thus far, they’re in a worse group position currently and are significantly lower in the KPB+ ranking table, as well. Accordingly, the Caldera Sun has a 32.5% chance of qualifying directly, a 98.8% chance of at least reaching the playoffs, and a 60.66% chance of qualifying for its first non-Pavolan World Cup since the tournament’s eighty-third edition, before the Reforms.

Overall

Of course, we can’t see the future. Even our near-locks aren’t quite 100.0% certainties to qualify for the World Cup, and even if they were, they certainly haven’t mathematically guaranteed their places yet. Don’t start booking flights or hotels based on these numbers just yet — either in Farfadillis and Paradystopia or on vacation outside the two host nations.

Still, we hope you’ve enjoyed our predictions of just which countries should feel safe, which countries should feel their straits are dire, and which nations still have it all to play for. In all honesty, as of now, that third group should still include all one hundred sixty teams in Qualifying. Every match matters. Any team could qualify, and any team could fail.

Then again, what are the odds of each of those things actually happening? Well, feel free to explore our full QSIM projections for yourself.

—but Ivo didn’t care about those notifications anymore. The only thing that mattered was that there was no text from Thaís. Not that night. Not the next. Not ever again.

by **Aamathyr** » Thu May 14, 2026 8:13 pm

Past parts can be found here.

7: What Makes You Think You're The One

The slightly bluish fog was thicker than ever, but that didn't take the bounce out of Thuraand's step. Strolling the well-worn path to Mwenttshat, his mirth was such that he was nearly skipping. The sun was behind a relatively less dense patch of cloud, so by the island's standards, today was nice and bright - sunny and clear anywhere else.

Avshruun was less excited when he arrived.

"I've found the treaty, Avshruun! After searching through 274 years of texts!"
"Let me ask you a question."
"Yes, what is it?"
"How sure are you that this treaty is the most modern version of it? You told me it was 274 years old. How certain are you that you didn't overlook something written between then and now that favors the Tjukkarl now?"
"...90%?"
"You need to be 100% certain. We're going to have to go through this again."

Avshruun followed Thuraand into the room this time, so that both of them could go through the records. Thuraand understood the importance of having a second set of eyes, he just felt a bit judged every time the old man looked at him over the top of his round glasses. Avshruun sat down in the plush chair that Thuraand had made good use of yesterday, leaving him to pull up a wooden chair that dug into his back and rocked a little. And so the search began.

"Here's one with the Tjukkarl from 1763."
"I did look through that one yesterday - it's about trading vessels, I didn't see anything in there about fishing rights."
"Did you look at the addendum on the back of the fourth page?"
"Oh, no, I haven't."
"So? I can't do the archaic legal language, and most of the words they use when you go back that far are different enough from my dialect that I can hardly understand it."
"There's nothing here about fishing, only talking about piracy."

The morning went on like this, chasing down loose ends.

"This one is from when this island was its own autonomous duchy in the 1830s, so it's in your dialect, I think."
"I'll check to see what it says. This one from 1815 references the original treaty you referred to initially, but I can't quite make out what it says after that. Do you mind taking a look?"

They exchanged papers, but neither was very helpful - the one in the Thyrzanjo dialect was about disasters and rescuing citizens of the other nation, and the 1815 treaty simply said that the 1703 one would be translated into Tjukkarli and published there as well, instead of there only being one copy.

As the sun went from being on their left to their right, this monotonous search felt like the equivalent of banging his head into the wall to Thuraand. The creaky wooden chair dug into his back, and he had yet to discover something he didn't learn yesterday.

"Are you sure we have to go through all of this? I've already looked through pretty much every paper here that could be relevant."
"You said yourself that you were only 90% certain that this was the latest version you could find-"
"And do I regret that," said Thuraand just a bit too quietly for Avshruun to hear.
"And you know how important 100% certainty is, being a lawyer and all." Avshruun continued on like an avalanche. "The only thing worse than having no treaty to back us up is having the wrong treaty to back us up. If the Tjukkarl have something more modern, we're truly screwed."

With any opposition blocked, the two men continued on, Shyzrroum fueling Avshruun onwards.

"Here's one from 1868, that was covered up mostly. Have you looked at this?"
"Yes, I have."
"And the one next to it, from 1872?"
"Let me see."
"Well, have you? This one is particularly buried in legalese, so I can hardly make out any of it."
"This is new."

A few minutes later, something finally was up.

"Look! 'In the pursuit of improving trade, fifteen nautical miles on either side of the dividing line shall be opened to fishermen from the other nation.'"
"Oh, that's not great."
"Why not?"
"Most of the disputed area is on our side of the 1703 line. This gives them more access. Your initial treaty was very friendly to us, but I doubted it for this reason."
"At least we have the right treaty now."
"We don't even know that yet. Just keep looking."

Avshruun was the next one to hit the jackpot, taking a big swig of Shyzrroum just before seeing it.

"Bwlh! Thwrn!"
"Swallow, then tell me."
"I've found something! 'In accordance with the recent 1916 Satsekera Convention, any water within ten nautical miles of Thyru territory will be solely Thyru to fish, and any within ten nautical miles of Tjukkarl will be solely Tjukkarli.' This helps us."
"How so?"
"Well, most of the islands between the two of us are Thyru. They've definitely been going too close to our islands."

Two heads were certainly faster than one, even if there was some double-checking, so by the time they got to the modern day ("All the way up to September 28th, 1977", Avshruun reminded Thuraand), it was only early evening, and they had a much more concrete line to give to Sluuvle tomorrow.

"Well, I'm glad this is over." Thuraand, on his way out the door by now, viewed this whole thing as a learning experience. He was becoming an islander, even if it was a slow process.
"Over? It's barely begun!"

by **Farfadillis** » Thu May 14, 2026 8:34 pm

CUT-OFF FOR GROUPS 9-16, MD11 & MD12

by **Kanzlia** » Thu May 14, 2026 10:50 pm

✦✦
| ⮌ | ☒
⮜ Previous Part
^--06--
matress
Saturday Morning of April Ninth 1921. Korvenhoude.

Liedwina spent another night sleeping in her apartment's couch. All of Friday she decided to give Irina space, she figured that's all she'd need. Sure, Liedwina may have on occassion heard Irina ramble about her ex for... an hour or two. But a day should be enough for Irina to get back to her gloomy self.

Last night when Liedwina returned from work by the Naval Headquarters, the door to her and Irina's bedroom remained locked. Judging by the cutlery in the metal rack drying, Irina did atleast eat something. But she's still in a sour mood. Liedwina tried knocking, "Irina? Are you alright?"

"No." came the cold reply. Liedwina sighed.

"What have you been doing today?"

"Comics."

"..and?"

"Crying."

Liedwina rubbed her temples. She has some things she needs from the bedroom, namely some clothes. She wore the clothes just washed for today, but with Irina still holding hostage their bedroom, Liedwina had no choice.

"Irina, I need my clothes. And other things too."

"No."

"Ack- What do you mean no? I have a meeting tomorrow."

"With my ex?"

"..Yes. Look Irina I'm sorry for yesterday, I'll make it up to you somehow. But can I please enter my own bedroom?"

"No."

And thus Liedwina spent the night at the couch again. The couch wasn't even comfy to sit on, let alone sleep in. It came with the flat and Liedwina was certain now that the price was made a bit more cheaper on account that she had to keep this god forsaken couch. But left with no choice, she made her peace with it.

When morning came, her back ached all over. The couch had an odd bend to it which wasn't comfortable in the slightest. The first words coming out of Liedwina's mouth this morning was groans.

"..damned couch."

Though atleast, as Liedwina go through her morning routine, Irina did graciously leave out some fresh clothes for Liedwina to wear. Unfortunately for Liedwina.. this was Irina's fashion taste. Which was a bit too dark for Liedwina's, it almost looks like she was going to a funeral. And that's because this was the black dress Liedwina wore for their mothers funeral. What Irina meant by this is something Liedwina doesn't have time for. She can't look like this, no way. It was a bit too warm for the occassion but Liedwina heads out for the day with a white scarf wrapped around her neck and reluctantly she wore her Navy issue white gloves. All in an effort to break the up the sheer black of her dress.

The cafe by the patisserie is a cute little place. Liedwina arrived at Nine A.M., about two hours early. She grabbed some fresh pastry from the patisserie before settling down in a seat outside, overlooking the big park. At Nine A.M. the park was bristling with activity. A group of boys was playing some sort of game of baseball, whilst a group of girls was out and about playing something Liedwina couldn't grasp. All with their parents monitoring just a few yards out. It was a rather noisy and chaotic scene, but something Liedwina like as ambience. That combined with the coffee the cafe makes, which was some blend Liedwina couldn't remember, it was a rather good morning. She might've forgotten that she looks like a Blackservicemen even.

Despite the scenery though, Liedwina was far from happy. Occupying her mind was Irina and her ex Morou. She couldn't believe it came to this. And with a dull ache on her back as a reminder, Liedwina tore off a piece of her pastry perhaps a little more forcefully than she needed. Morou Csetkou. She rolled the name around in her head like a bad taste she couldn't spit out. A man she'd never met, had never cared to meet, and yet here she was dressed in funeral clothes, sleeping on a couch that was slowly murdering her spine, all because of him. "He better be punctual."

As the clock ticked ever closer to Eleven A.M. Liedwina was somewhat hoping Morou would be late. That would give her more of an excuse to dislike him. But unfortunately for her, he came in to the cafe with five minutes to spare. And in tow was a little girl holding a comic. She completely forgot that his daughter would tag along today. Liedwina straightened in her seat, she had greeted Admirals for goodness sake, a man and his child is nothing. Morou Csetkou arrived with a casual look, with a knitted beige sweater of sort and dressed rather neatly. He waved at Liedwina once he spotted her and made his way to her.

"Liedwina," he greeted as he approached.

"That's me. Mr. Csetkou," she stood to shake his hand. A very firm and professional handshake. "Please, sit."

The small girl then peered up at Liedwina with those big watchful eyes. She couldn't have been older than ten Liedwina guessed and she held two comic books, clutched tightly against her chest.

"And this must be?" Liedwina said as she kneeled down. Her voice came out much more gently than she intended.

"Reina", the little girl replied.

"What are you reading for today Reina?" Liedwina asked curiously.

Reina blinked, then as if Liedwina passed some sort of security check, she held out her comic books proudly. "The Siren and Kraken!"

"A kraken huh? They're huge according to legend," Liedwina replied with a smile.

"It's very big and bad in this."

"Well, I won't disturb you whilst you're reading - I'll take some of your fathers time, okay?"

Reina smiled and nodded. She wandered over to the next table and began reading. Liedwina watched with a genuine smile on her face. A genuineity(?) that disappeared when interrupted by Morou.

"Children that can entertain themselves is a dream, you know?" he said.

"I wouldn't know, but I'll take your word for it."

The two settled at their seats and Morou began speaking about his current post and procurement side of things, asking after the specifics of Liedwina's work as a staff officer. It was, whatever, nothing unusual. Liedwina heard him well. Listening though was a different matter. She kept looking at this man before her. This is the man that broke Irina's heart seven years ago. That turned her sister to a completely different person in the bad way. He was the one who had kept going with Irina for four years before he simply left. Or whatever he's done. Irina could never explain how it went down to Liedwina without being incoherent and caught up in her anger. But Liedwina could guess it wasn't pretty.

Another thing completely annoyed her though. Morou was perfectly civil. Which, in a strange way, made it worse. She had been hoping for something about him that can justify her dislike towards him, other than being a cheat. Perhaps a condescending tone when speaking, or a habit of interrupting, or just bad manners. Something that would suggest he was a man of poor quality. But instead, he carried himself as a professional and even, dare she say, a likeable man.
Next Part ⮞

by **Hanalia** » Fri May 15, 2026 3:43 am

Qualifying Crunch

Matchday 12 now sits in the rearview mirror of the World Cup Qualifying campaign and passing the two thirds mile marker, the road to the World Cup through is coming into focus ahead. The Bulls sit atop group 1 who, of the handful of teams not to have lost a match, remain the sole team with a perfect winning record across the campaign. They also managed the feat of not conceding a goal through the first ten games before Andso Mangis ended that streak. Ten points clear at the top, they are assured of a Play-off place but it's almost impossible not to see them taking one of the two auto qualification spots.

Assuming Audioslavia do not implode, who are the contenders for the other spot? Which teams will have to play their way into the finals? Who definitely wont be making it? To that last question, West Vdara but the less said about them the better. Group 1 also has 3 participant from this cycle's Baptism of Fire in the shape of Bharatamandala, Doychnya and the Russian Empire EHA. The Russians are certainly making a good go of it, currently sixth, but seeing any of these teams progress would be something of a surprise. Andso Mangis were drawn into the group from the Slushier Pot alongside the BoF teams another team with an uphill task of qualification.

Those keeping track will see that we've accounted for six of the teams and we've four remaining, Hanalia included. We've matches against all of the other three teams in this bunch and the good news is that these will all take place with home advantage at the National Stadium in Lei. Even further good news can be taken from the record in the away legs of these matches 1-1-1. The upset win in Krasnograd one of our team's best results so far this cycle. Heart too can be taken from the 2-1result at home against Kimi-Suomi in the CAFA Cup despite the away loss this campaign.

The omens therefore are positive at the moment to make these qualification play-offs. However just because our pot 4 team are down, it would be premature to consider them totally out at this point. Just because a team gets labelled as 'slushier' doesn't mean they can be discounted either, especially taking them on with home fans behind them. If a ming vase can be dropped then the house of cards may just come tumbling down too.

by **Srednjaci** » Fri May 15, 2026 3:53 am

12 POINTS BEHIND SECOND PLACE...MISSION IMPOSSIBLE !!

Dear viewers, another round of qualification for the World Cup has begun. It is also the only major sporting event in which our nation has not participated.
My name is Stjepan Ružić and I will guide you through this biggest football competition and one of the biggest sporting events ever held.
The hosts of this year's World Cup are Farfadilis and Paradystopia.

As the introduction of the show said, we are 12 points behind the second-placed team Kelssek, and there are still a few rounds of the qualifying matches left. The defeat against Bostopia took us away from the top of the table, but a great matches versus Solgavden away and in Katanija against the leaders in the table The Kytler Peninsulae gave us a hope.
Is 12 points a big difference? Can we reach a playoff position?
It's hard to predict.

SOLGAVDEN vs SREDNJACI - 1 -2

17' HALVORSAN 1-0 
                                    47' TAVANO 1-1
                                    78' LI PENG 1-2 assist. TOMLJANOVIĆ

Our team went on a tough away trip to Solgavden. Our players arrived in the city of Orliss two days before the start of the match. They did some light training and prepared their tactics. This is the second match in the group between us and Solgavden and the first one ended 1-1.
The Arnette Yard stadium in Orliss can hold 57,500 spectators and is filled to the brim. There are a little more than 3,000 of our fans.
The players of both teams took to the field and the home players and their fans are hungry for victory. On the other hand, our team wants to wash away the bitter taste of two consecutive defeats against Bostopia and Atheara.
The match started at a very high pace and the home players were better positioned on the field. However, after the first 15 minutes of the game, our players were taking up more space on field and had more accurate passes. We finally established balance. However, the home team scored the first goal. A great move was started by the young player with number 26 Leo Stenberg. He got rid of Adaline Natković brilliantly, gained a lot of space, Danijela Majić had to run at him, which left an empty space behind her. Halvorsan runs into that space at the right time. Majić tries to clear the ball, but she doesn't catch it well, the ball still reaches Halvorsan, there is no offside, Halvorsan shoots and scores for a 1-0 lead in 17'!
Despite attempts from both sides, the score did not change until the end of the first half.
In the second half, our players entered the match much better. Srednjaci constantly pressed in the opponent's half of the field. Such great pressing paid off in 47th minute when Tavano pulled from the left flank, Mishra and Lind tried to stop him but they committed a foul. A free kick was awarded 18 meters from the goal. Takanobu Tavano takes a free kick and hits the goal with a thunderous shot. The Solgavden goalkeeper was powerless! 1-1 in 47' of the game!
The hosts had a great opportunity through Tennefjord to take the lead in the 64th minute of the game. The attacker from Solgavden escaped our defense but he hit the post!
The penalty for the miss came in the 78th minute of the game. With a brilliant play move, Tomljanović drew two home players on himself, and then pass to Li Peng with a fantastic ball. Li Peng hits the goal with an excellent shot! Gooooool 2-1!! Srednjaci are leading with 2-1!!!
The shaken hosts could have conceded another goal. Zoran Mašić took the corner in the 82nd minute and found Matković with a great ball, who hit the post with header!
In the 94th minute, the referee calls the end of the game and a new victory for our players has been achieved!

SREDNJACI vs THE KYTLER PENINSULAE 2-2

att 74,560 spect. 
                                        28' SIGURSDOTTIR 0-1 
35' MATKOVIĆ 1-1 
79' ZIMMER 2-1 
                                         91' PACKARD (PEN) 2-2

In this game, we were completely better on the field against the table leaders The Kytler Peninsula.
Although the guests took the lead in the 28th minute of the game through the fantastic Hjördis Sigurdsdottir, our players dominated this match. We created opportunity after opportunity, but De Beukelaer was great in goel saving. Goalkeeper defended the impossible and saved his team.
Isidor Matković was the first who riped the net of the guests goal in the 35th minute of the game. And with the score 1-1, we went to a 15-minute break. After the return, the guests had the first chance, but PACKARD's shot went over the crosbar! Once again, our players take the initiative and put pressure on the guests' defensive line.
Our team is attacking, the guests are defending... until the 79th minute when Davida Zimmer scores a goal for 2-1 with a long-range projectile!!! Fantastic shot!
Time passes and the score stands at 2-1... until the shock in the 91st minute.
One of the rare organized attacks of the guests ends with a shot by Packard. The ball hits Koren Usović in the hand inside of the penalty area, the referee shows a penalty and shows a yellow card to our player!
Packard takes the penalty and scores!
Shock and disbelief took over the stadium while the visiting fans, who numbered around 5,000, rejoiced. In the end, it was just a draw.

by **Aphrilia** » Fri May 15, 2026 6:51 am

WHAT MAKES MY DECISION
Were they even making the right choice? This was something that she didn't understand at all, knowing the circumstances.

Silvie Grace-Holtzer was walking around a park, not too far away from Trosspine Medical College. Classes were done for the day, and she doesn't have anything due, she believes. There were many things going on in her life as of quite literally, right now. Having won the Football NCSO, she was invited to be called up for the Aphrilian National team.

She would replace Amelia Haze. She would have the opportunity to travel across the multiverse, doing what she does best. It was a surreal thought, and an incredible opportunity to make a name for herself. That meeting with Amelia and manager Leonardo Bianchi outlined many things. Why she was picked, what she could bring to the team, and so on.

It's not that she doesn't want to play for the national team. It's only reasonable she accepts the offer, as not many get this sort of chance. The Anchors were selective, and after some research, Silvie would be the first player to be called up whilst playing college/university football. It would be an incredible honor to blaze such a path, but some things made her hesitate. There were considerations that made Silvie think about accepting the offer at all, despite there only being benefits for her.

For one, of course she would cut off many others from the same opportunity. Slots on the national team are zero-sum, they are limited.

This was a thought she had to accept, but even more so since she would be stealing a spot on the team from those who could be more deserving. Professional level footballers playing domestically in the Aphrilian football league and players who were on the youth national team still having plenty to prove. She would be ahead of those sorts of individuals.

Was it right, for her to be blessed with this opportunity? When she came back from that meeting and told the team, they were all happy and filled with joy that she got such an opportunity. Words of congratulation were spread out, and the college was willing to provide her with never seen before honors. It may not look like it, but it was clawing at her.

Second of all was how would others think about this? As much as Silvie liked the fact that she always looked like she was aloof and uncaring towards whoever thought of her, in truth, she was quite sensitive. The girl is just really good at hiding it, having a monotone expression and a bored voice in many scenarios. She didn't have an ego, many said.

But that was false. She did indeed have one, just not as big and more sensitive. Of course, some would be happy for her addition. Others may wait for her to prove her worth. But there were definitely some that would hate it, since it correlates to her first thought. She'd technically steal a spot on the national team from those who either have already proven they have what it takes, or those who trained for exactly what she was granted through the youth system. It did feel unfair, and Silvie feels bad about it.

Everyone around her says it's a good idea for her to take this chance. But would it be rightful? No, of course it would be. Silvie just fears hurting others and causing reactions.

As she continued walking through the park, she notices a small vendor stand. Approaching, it seems that a young boy was selling a variety of foods. From sandwiches to cookies to waffles. "Hi miss, wish to buy?" The kid asked. Silvie looks around, seeing every available item. Some were sold out, which meant the kid had made a fortune for the day. Even fortune cookies were being sold? This kid seems eager. Perhaps he likes baking with his parents. Seeing the price tag, Silvie took one fortune cookie.

"Thank you miss." The boy spoke as she handed him the money. Giving a nod, Silvie went on her merry way. Se liked cookies, though recently was cutting down for her diet. One cookie wouldn't hurt. Believing that perhaps fortune would be able to tell her to make up her mind, she cracked open the cookie. The paper slip she took, the cookie she ate.

The fortune reads as so: "For any choice one makes in the future, only goodness awaits them." Silvie thinks for a moment. Ha ha, even fortune is saying she should just make up her mind about it. Perhaps it's fine, for once, to do make this choice. Everyone is encouraging her because they believe she deserves this chance. So why not just... Do it already?

Will others hurt because of it? Certainly. But she can't control everything, so perhaps it was best that she controlled what she could.

(O.O) · by **TJUN-ia** » Fri May 15, 2026 9:12 am

After a 4-point window that made the battle lines very clear, the Jaguars of TJUN-ia were still 3 points off 2nd and trying to chase our Valentine friends no matter what. That meeting on the final day in Mandalay could be for all the marbles of the Top 2 - but in order to make it that way, we need to keep our end of the bargain and keep getting those points on the board. That is what Philip van Oosterend was focused on at this point, and while "Just Keep Winning" is, of course, easier said than done, it might be the only way we can still auto-Q into that Dance...so I guess that is all we've got at this point.

Serenitas Novae welcomed us to town to kick off the window, a team that was far exceeding their ranking pre-tournament, and everyone had to take note of that. We knew that this wasn't exactly going to be a pushover, and so, with the "Just Keep Winning" mentality haunting our spirits, we pushed for the win like normal and got what we deserved. It was a good game, with our hosts certainly making things difficult at times, but we found the lead in the 23rd, thanks to Sylvia Usabyimana, and managed to maintain it until the 70th...when Diana Sharafutdinov's final act of the day was a header off a corner. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but 2-0 was still 2-0.

After that, we came home to another huge game in the battle to stay in that Top 3. The Ko-orenite Constellation, the Ko-Stars, would enter the Stade de la Victoire in Roi Ville looking to try and cause even more chaos by turning this group into a potential four-way...and we had good reason to take this one seriously. The Ko-Stars had managed to do what no one else could in the game before - beat Chromatika. And convincingly at that, a 4-1 upset that sent earthquakes through the entire group. The crowd was going to be pumped for this game anyway, but facing a nation coming off that result only fueled them more, leading to an atmosphere that seemed ready to go to war. While Chanmingoren celebrated their historic triumph, our rematch with Bandar Cang Prathoren was just like our first - a tight encounter that left everything on the table. Zaine Bowry took the lead in the 29th to the roar of the crowd, which was amped up even more in the 41st when Felicia Alba headed the ball past Prisana Phrompan. Suhendra Kurniawan got one back in the 66th, and for the rest of this game, the Ko-Stars really put pressure on our defence, trying to find an equaliser so that they could take something back home...but it wasn't enough. Just like last time, our battle with Bandar Cang Prathoren ended in a 2-1 win...and thus, we march on.

Just 6 games remain in our campaign, and already, things are heating up fast. Chromatika are in TJUN-ia City next time, and it is expected that the entire country will be watching it all, hoping that we can take something off the group leaders on our turf. After that? A trip to Vetrahjart that shouldn't be overlooked. A 3-point window is the minimum and the expectation. Anything more? And we might be onto something.

GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Group 6)
(Stadium Guide can be found here)
MD1: @Quakmybush (152) L 1-2
MD2: vs Serenitas Novae (395) - Zebra Stadium, Toropo/Almadinat W 3-1 (T-4th)
-------------------------------------------------------
MD3: @The Ko-orenite Constellation (61) - Bandar Cang Prathoren W 2-1 (2nd)
MD4: @Chromatika (16) - Chromatik City Field, Chromia L 1-2 (5th)
-------------------------------------------------------
MD5: vs Vetrahjart (124) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 3-0 (3rd)
MD6: @The Republic of the United Marble Tribes (307) L 0-4 (6th)
-------------------------------------------------------
MD7: vs Stewartika (88) - Estadio Universidad Carlandas, Carlandas W 4-0 (5th)
MD8: @Cothe Saria (430) - Cedarville Stadium, Cedarville W 1-0 (3rd)
-------------------------------------------------------
MD9: vs Valentine Z (23) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky D 1-1 (3rd)
MD10: vs Quakmybush (152) - Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo, Kepu Manu W 5-3 (3rd)
-------------------------------------------------------
MD11: @Serenitas Novae (395) W 2-0 (3rd)
MD12: vs The Ko-orenite Constellation (61) - Stade de la Victoire, Roi Ville W 2-1 (3rd)
-------------------------------------------------------
MD13: vs Chromatika (16) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia
MD14: @Vetrahjart (124)
-------------------------------------------------------
MD15: vs The Republic of the United Marble Tribes (307) - Estádio do Pacífico, Rio Pacífico
MD16: @Stewartika (88)
-------------------------------------------------------
MD17: vs Cothe Saria (430) - Tallawah Stadium, Port Town/Portuaria
MD18: @Valentine Z (23) - Kyarpan Stadium, Mandalay

by **Dantopia** » Fri May 15, 2026 9:56 am

VOL. 46,156

LION CITY, DANTOPIA

FRIDAY 15TH MAY, 2026

₵100

Fantastic Lions Fire Five Past Eshialand

Bradini Brunson Scores Hat-Trick In Romp — Kealoha Grabs Three Assists

By SAUL ARNSTEIN

National Team Stadium (NTS)
Dantopia5-1Eshialand
Half Time: 1-0
Brunson 30', 54', 60'Meilling 48'
Taramaia 52'
Kealoha 69'

See also... MD1 | MD2 | MD3 | MD4 | MD5

LION CITY, DANTOPIA — Bradini Brunson scored a sensational hat-trick as Dantopia — stunningly — defeated Eshialand by a score of 5-1 at the National Team Stadium in Lion City. This helped the Lions record their fourth win in qualifying, and they remain undefeated so far as well. The Lion City FC ace carried on where he left off against Auprussia in match-day three, having been rested during the away nil-nil draw with Gwarkos. 'The Owls' levelled at the start of the second half, but another two goals from the uncontainable Brunson, and goals from Taramaia and Kealoha provided the perfect welcome for the national team playing in the designated stadium for the first time this qualifying cycle.

The Lions steamed into the match, full of confidence and vigour, when Ezra Cunningham romped forward from midfield, giving the game it's first meaningful shot after just 120 seconds of play. The early sighter was blocked well by Suzanna Blair in the Eshian defence, however. The lively Taramaia has his own effort saved, before putting Kaiya Daniels under pressure, and forcing the defender to slice at a clearance that deflected off the wide man and almost caught the goalkeeper, Harry Bruske, off-guard. Nonetheless, the Owls man between the sticks was able to safely flip the ball over the bar.

Perhaps half of the 100,000-capacity crowd thought Johnny Kealoha has scored his first goal of the campaign, when he was put in by Cunningham. Neat footwork from the Kyethas Rivermen maestro had his marker beaten, but it was only after the huge roar from the crowd had dissipated that it was clear the midfielder's effort had hit the side netting on the outside, not the inside of the goal. His club compatriot — Alex Bullvale — was called into action after sixteen minutes played, Eshialand giving the shot-stopper a reminder of their threat. However, Bullvale was able to thwart both Forsen and Davis. A Sandrie header from an edge-of-the-box free kick also gave the home crowd a few moments of panic, but the aerial effort was palmed away well by Bullvale.

Bradini Brunson

The deadlock was finally broken after thirty minutes, when goal-machine Brunson rifled home the first of the evening. The Lions had seized a loose ball from Bruske, and Kealoha delivered a pass over the top, perfectly into the striker's path. Brunson was able to connect cleanly with the ball, first time, on the volley, across the face of the goal, and into the far corner — well away from a frustrated Bruske. This was a timely goal for Dantopia, as it broke for the hosts during a period of the match where the visitors were beginning to look dangerous themselves. The remainder of the half proved to be less intense than the first half-an-hour, but the hosts remained on top and in control of the match.

Jeremiah Taramaia

Rick Bishop's men were temporarily stunned by an Eshialand equaliser three minutes into the second half. Team captain Lucas Meilling was released into acres of space and had all the time in the world to advance forward before unleashing an absolute rocket from outside the box that hit off the underside of the crossbar, and past Bullvale in net. Nevertheless, the woodwork had barely stopped reverberating, and net barely stopped shimmying before a swift response from the Lions came. Kealoha had put Taramaia through, and with some strength shown by the Lion City FC player, he was able to outmuscle a struggling Suzanna Blair before drilling a finish past Bruske to make it 2-1. The National Team Stadium erupted at this, and two minutes later, they would be off their seats again...

Brunson brilliantly wrong-footed the defence and the goalkeeper, before sliding a shot home that Tommy Hopal tried to clear away off the line. However, the referee indicated that goal-line technology had ruled the ball had indeed crossed the entirety of the line, and so the arena rocked once more. Brunson had his second and put daylight between the hosts and the visitors now. The rampant Lions weren't done though, with Brunson and Kealoha, specifically, showing more and more swagger as the game wore on. Brunson would secure the match-ball with a thunderous half-volley inside the penalty area, on the hour mark. This was once more assisted by Kealoha, who had secured a hat-trick of his own now — in assists.

Johnny Kealoha

Eshialand had been totally floored by the roaring Lions, and Kealoha would further his contributions with a goal of his own after sixty-nine minutes, powering home a cut-back cross from Adebayo Adeyemi. It was the perfect storm for the Dantopians, who were taking full advantage of the Eshian's poor away record thus far in qualifying. The Owls have won just one of the away matches — against Gwarkos in match-day three — losing all others played so far. With the scoreline very much in Dantopia's favour, Rick Bishop opted to bring off the three heroes of the evening, perhaps sparing the visitors' blushes somewhat, opting to give minutes to substitutes Bradley Bing, Zeke Edwards, and Maverick Johnson. Further changes would be made towards the end, with Elleby Young replacing captain Ezra Cunningham, and Dalton O'Higgins coming on for Kaleb Kahananui.

Group 4 World Cup 101 Qualifying Round
POSNATIONPWDLGFGAGDPTS
1  Dantopia          6   4   2   0   15   5   +10   14
2  Lisander          6   4   0   2   17   13   +4   12
3  Sudilia           6   4   0   2   12   9   +3   12
4  Tanirinthia       6   3   1   2   12   10   +2   10
5  Xanneria          6   3   0   3   13   13    0    9
6  Eshialand         6   3   0   3   10   13   -3   9
7  Saperetia         6   2   0   4   7   9   -2   6
8  Allamunnic States 6   2   0   4   7   11   -4   6
9  Gwarkos           6   1   2   3   4   11   -7   5
10  Auprussia         6   1   1   4   7   10   -3   4

The Lions would confidently see out the remainder of the match, cementing the three points and remaining in pole position, at the top of Group 4. The unlikely hot start by the Pot 5 side has defied expectations in a group where five other sides outrank the Lions. Pot 5 has been derogatorily termed the 'Slush Pot' by several World Cup qualifying observers. To turn the snide remark on its head, a number of beach bars across the country have been serving national team-coloured 'slushies' — a flavoured ice drink popular amongst locals and tourists alike, especially on hot afternoons by the coasts. Whether the unbeaten streak can be continued by Rick Bishop's men headed into an away match against Tanirinthia — perhaps the most difficult match on paper in the group — remains to be seen. However, the side must be filled with supreme confidence following their performance against Eshialand, and their 4-2-0 start so far, which has netted them 14 out of a possible 18 points.

xg.unit
1d

Dantopia (2.64) 5-1 (0.57) Eshialand #DANvsESH #WorldCup101 #Qualifying #Group4

OOC DISCLAIMER: The likenesses of players and managers have been created with the help of generative AI. Every other image in this RP was completely hand-made.

by **The Ko-orenite Constellation** » Fri May 15, 2026 11:13 am

On the face of it, the Constellation is a huge success. 30-odd territories that improve their standard of living together.

Then again, for some of those territories, there's not much opportunity to decrease that standard. And internally, there's quite a few differences as well. The Constellation is looking for sustained development that's ecological, pacifist, social, and, most important at all, meritocratic. Most territories only fill out one or two of those characteristics, and the plan is that they help each other attain a higher standard in all four by learning from those who've mastered one of the other characteristics. The start of that had been fast and fruitful, but as the establishment of the AFC - Association of Football in the Constellation, as it's usually hideously written in English - has taught us, nothing will stop some of these territories to pull a fast one on the rest.

As long as pulling fast ones doesn't lead to outright exploitative business practices, so far, all's good.

But now it's time to set an agenda for the larger member states and a way forward for the smaller ones. In any normally functioning union, you have everything in place to nominate your secretary generals and your committees - but this is the Constellation and they're doing everything for the first time. A few territories have shown to take leading roles - and it's, of course, the larger ones. Mercatoren's president Edward Frazier comments from the capital of Leyden that 'of course, the way of the Constellation runs through Mercatoren' and by that he probably means his territory's financial objectives as well. Zi Wang, the main advisor of Chanmingoren, only sees victories for the global status of meritocracy as a meaningful political alternative that doesn't have (but usually will) lead to an oligarchy of rich and famous who can afford to send their kids to schools that prepare their pupils for a better position later in life. Atchara Rattanakosin, the mayor of Bandar Cang Prath, puts forth a vision where BCP plays a pivotal role between the Constellation and partners outside of it.

All eyes, however, are on Dhidiyah, the capital city of Irithoren, and de facto capital of the Constellation itself. That's where the Council is - and it's that very council that needs to come up with something to keep all members busy and happy. The pressure is on.

In the meantime, the first cracks are showing. Wayta Yupanqui as the governor of Uruashoren is livid he's not invited to meetings with the 'big guys'. Uruashoren, 5th in population among member states yet 18th in GDP (not even per capita), has very limited power over other member states in the way that the 'big guys' have. For the Constellation Council, they're minor stakeholders as they're unlikely to block the course of the union long-term in the same way that Mercatoren and company can. But that means there's a discussion on who's a big guy and who isn't. That's when you get Meia-Armadoren jumping the gun in creating regional bodies just so they can say they're a big guy. That's when you get Tarören's parades about protecting the largest member state (in area) and how they keep smaller nearby member states safe as well. That's when you get Églantinoren stirring the pot despite being a brand new member state with little knowledge of how things came to be.

Then again, if the Constellation truly wants the most apt member state in charge of the right topic - even new nations like Églantinoren should deserve a say.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Fri May 15, 2026 12:53 pm

OOC - for the sake of transparency, yes, I used a rhyme dictionary to help.

Juan Tzimisces and the Shoggoths

(a possibly forlorn attempt to merge At the Mountains of Madness with the Walrus and the Carpenter)

In the dusk of Bongo Johnson where the bright stars softly swirled,
Came the merry shoggoth forwards, blobbing gladly through the world;
And their head coach, Juan Tzimisces, deathless since the ages fell,
Waved a gold and red umbrella and did marshal them quite well.

“Oh the pitches are delightful!” cried the ancient coach with glee,
“As we go to Bongo Johnson, by the ever-shining sea!
For the lads are full of vigour, and their boots are shining green,
Though they have six hundred eyeballs, they are still a tidy team.”

Now the folk of Bongo Johnson beat their drums beside the pier,
And the referee grew nervous when the shoggoths lumbered near;
But the Holy Empire’s striker, who the damned did oft refute
Tapped in a splendid goal by writhing, pseudopodic boot.

Then the hosts did score quite smartly with a cannonading crack,
And the moon grew pale and rubbery and seemed to bend upon its back;
Yet the shoggoths sang in chorus “Tekeli-li!", passing wide
As they oozed across the midfield like a dark enchanted tide.

In the eighty-second minute, through a fog of chartreuse steam,
A pulsating shoggoth winger happened on a stunning scheme;
Past eleven men he squelched and slid, all wobbling left and right,
And he scored to make it two to one beneath the eldritch light.

The Empire’s fans went dancing with accordions of bone,
While immortal Juan Tzimisces proudly polished up his throne;
“Oh the boys have done us credit!” cried the ageless, winning seer,
As the shoggoths sprayed the 'keeper with celebratory beer.

But the season was not over, for at home they still did dread
The formidable Masraya in their uniforms of red;
And the banners fluttered wildly round the cyclopean ground,
While the brass band played cacophonies of quite unholy sound.

Now the shoggoths started brightly in the damp infernal rain,
And the left back briefly swallowed both assistant refs again;
Still the crowd remained good-humoured, for the stars were all aligned,
And the programme sellers whispered, “Do ignore the screams behind.”

Masraya scored the opener with a bouncing header strange,
Which Arifin attempted from surprisingly long range
But the Empire soon responded when their rushing fast right winger
Kicked the ball so very fiercely that it briefly seemed to shimmer.

Then the final goal came floating like a nightmare of the damned,
Off the boot of their left forward, born of something like a clam;
And the Holy Empire triumphed two to one upon the night,
While Tzimisces chuckled fiercely underneath the pale moonlight.

So if ever you should wander where the dim black rivers flow,
And you hear a distant chanting where the frozen fungus grows,
You may see the happy shoggoths marching proudly, rank by rank,
Singing football songs to madness on the shores of cursed lake banks.

by **Audioslavia** » Fri May 15, 2026 2:02 pm

For a while it was impossible, but when it was ready to come, it did so clumsily and obviously. Telegraphed. Inevitable.

Five minutes prior, a high ball dropping over Lorentzen's back, controlled poorly by Berl Der of Andso Mangis, a tame shot dug out from between his feet. Palma was confounded, and had to be told afterwards that the ball had trickled past the near post while he was scrambling back to his feet.

The Bulls' defence didn't heed the warning. A cross came in on 31 minutes. Waist-height for Yurán, who nevertheless got caught in two minds about whether to control the ball with his thigh or clear with his right leg. He did neither, allowing the ball to pass him as he flung an awkward knee at it. Bertuin Overtin seemed surprised to receive the ball inside the area. He controlled the ball, stepped forward, just about survived a challenge from Malcom, latched onto the ball as it bobbled up at shin-height, twelve yards from goal, and hooked a shot past a flailing Palma. The ball spun, bounced once, and nestled in the corner of Audioslavia's goal. The goalie and defenders looked around. Referee. Linesman. Referee. VAR? Nothing?

Damn.

The fans reaction was magnanimous, clapping their team for the ten games without conceding, barely booing them at all when they went into the half-time break at one all. Kjartan Lúnquerque rescued the other two points from about seven centimetres from goal, and if the Ming Vase record was gone, the 100% one would live on.

5: Minute Detail

So for every goal on record, we’ve tried to note down the minute in which it happened. Sometimes this is as easy as letting the RP tell us. Sometimes we have to figure it out from the breadcrumbs we’re given. If we can’t get it down to the exact minute, then we write in ‘1st Half’, ‘2nd Half’ or ‘Extra Time’.

You might be entirely unsurprised to learn that, in World Cup finals, more goals are scored in the second half than in the first.

Scoring in the first half is for nerds.

Is this wildly different from a regular game? I don’t know. I only have the goal time data from World Cup finals and I’m not about to go get another sample. Based on my gut instinct, which is exactly where I get all my best data journalism ideas from, I’d say late goals happen, on average, slightly more often than usual. More accurately, 56 goals have happened in the sexy hollywood zone of ‘between the 75th minute and the end of normal time’. Just 27 have happened in the equivalent period at the end of the first half.

It may come as little surprise that winning goals - those putting the eventual winners ahead by one goal, and that also happens to be the last goal of the game - tend to happen in the 80th minute on average.

Perhaps my favourite statistic here doesn’t concern the minute in which the goal happened, but instead the final digit of that minute. In this next graph, we have the 10 possible final digits. For example, every goal scored in the 13th, 23rd, 43rd or 103rd minute are counted together.

Six seven! Haha look everyone it’s six seven! That’s six seven! Lol!

Goals happen in the X6th or X7th minute 150% more often than they do in the X5th or X8th. Why? God knows. Maybe the random number gods love brain-rot? Maybe they just love 7? It would not only explain why Drawkland are so successful in baseball, but the reason why the 77th minute is the most common goalscoring time for a World Cup final. 7 such goals have been scored. These are, in chronological order, Suarez for Brazillico in World Cup 6, Méla Sëhelin’s late opener for Spaam in World Cup 7, Josephine Lemspoobagganaggatoratorreador’s winner for Lemmitania in World Cup 10, Thomas Lunson’s equaliser for Liventia against Sarzonia in World Cup 24, Ie O for Ariddia’s fourth goal against Milchama in World Cup 34 and Roger Zensan’s go-ahead goal for Valanora against Bazalonia in World Cup 40. Six in just forty cycles, only 36 of which we actually have access to, meaning that, for a while, one in every six World Cups contained a 77th minute strike. Even more peculiarly, we then proceeded to never see one again until World Cup 97 and Hamida Van’s 77th-minute goal for Squornshelous against Valanora.

For a second, I thought the longest-named and shortest-named World Cup Final goalscorers had netted in the same minute, with 39 characters for the Lemmitanian Josephine Lemspoobagganaggatoratorreador and just 3 for Ariddia’s Ie O. I had, however, forgotten about a famous Rejistanian who went by the name “Sa”. Everyone called him “Sa”. If you decide to list him under that name, then with 2 characters, he has the shortest name ever recorded for a World Cup Final goalscorer. If you instead prefer to keep to his full name, then with 40 characters, Salakerijasamenatira Harakemindanutikejil is the longest-named goalscorer in World Cup final history.

With 7 goals, the 77th minute is the most popular goalscoring minute. The least popular? With exactly zero goals in 100 cycles? The 78th. Five goals happen in the 76th minute, the joint third highest. Zero goals happen in the 75th minute. 75 and 78 are the two highest numbers for which we have no goals. Before that, the next highest number with no goals is the 65th minute. Before that, the next highest number with no goals is the 55th minute. We all apparently have an understanding that goals in the X5th minute are *only* for first half strikes. Except. Er. The second most popular minute to score in, with 6 goals in 100 cycles, is the 85th.

I don’t understand people. If I did, I wouldn’t be analysing goalscoring minutes for NS World Cup finals.

by **Taeshan** » Fri May 15, 2026 6:24 pm

"Well there you have it can't score a goal to save your life over four games that would have kept you in qualifying but can score 7 goals against 2 of the best teams in the group when you're basically out of the tournament as is."

"I mean they still could make a playoff though, and really should all things considered."

"The hope is what kills you. The faster you learn that the faster you will understand life, liberty and the undeniable fact that you will not be happy as a football fan."

"True but at least I know one thing."

"And what would you say that is?"

"Well we beat Reçuecn. Which means we can bring back our favorite chant."

"Well as long as it is not "you can't beat us that Nemanistan used to do."

"No. What do you think of Reçuecn?"

"Shit."

"And what do you think of shit?"

"Reçuecn"

"Classic. Love that for us. Big win. Doesn't mean anything but not every day you can beat two of the best teams in your group and miserably fail to qualify."

"Oh, i've got one."

"Oh yeah."

"What's Reçuecn worth?"

"What?"

"It ain't worth shit."

"Oh that one is good I should write it down."

"at least the boys have found the net. Maybe they can continue to do that and someone will invite them to a Cup of Harmony."

"I mean maybe. Could also just prep for the Copa Rushmori."

"Yeah that is also a good idea. Keep their toes wet for the next strike."

"Gotta stay on the horses and ride."

by **Zwangzug** » Fri May 15, 2026 7:15 pm

THE COSMOPOLITAN MISANTRHOPE

hating all the people, everywhere

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH BISHEN VARADARAJAN

Despite our recent report on the shameless betting engaged in by someone who may have vague geographic proximity to the Zwangzug national football manager, this narrative has not been picked up by the international press. We were left with no recourse but to hound Varadarajan for more pathetic denials and evasions.

CM: Debasis Garg, your fellow Namirite, has admirably avoided any public commentary on Libesia's chances. What prevents you from following his sensible lead?
BV: Aren't Libesia bottom of their group? I'm not sure that's a strategy I want to emulate.
CM: Are you stupid enough to make any bets on the next window?
BV: Since nobody is setting up a poll on the subject, probably not.
CM: Okay, but if they were setting up a poll on the subject, what would you predict in a complete hypothetical situation with no money involved?
BV: Considering how we fared against the top seeds in the first half, expecting us to win even one of those matches would require a rash investment of optimism that could probably be better invested elsewhere.
CM: Is your country so dumb you think optimism can be banked and traded like a fungible resource? We knew you were bad at economics, but seriously.
BV: It's a figure of speech.
CM: Aren't you worried that saying these things might encourage your players to give less than their best effort, thus leading to a vicious self-fulfilling prophecy?
BV: Not in the least, because none of my players would ever have cause to read such drivel as your publication.
CM: Let's face it, is the hope of progressing through some convoluted playoff structure the only reason you still have your job?
BV: Not in the least! The federation never fires people, anything that could be construed as entitlement is unseemly. Particularly when we're not seeded in the top forty-eight as is.
CM: Do you think that Zwangzug's prestige as former World Cup champions causes opponents to overrate you?
BV: Not in the least.
CM: Are you sure?
BV: There's prestige and then there's prestige. There are plenty of teams with strong players who you might not want to get drawn against, but that doesn't always correlate to what they've won in the past. I mean, World Cup 92 was nine cycles ago, there isn't any overlap in personnel. Can you name any of the players on that side?
CM: Uh...Quincy Dulk-Fough.
BV: I thought you hated everyone everywhere, including Zwangzugians. Why would you bother to learn the names of our championship-winning team?
CM: We didn't, he was only fresh in my mind because he exemplifies the Cabañas effect.
BV: No he doesn't.
CM: Sure he does, he has a hyphenated name.
BV: That doesn't count, it has to be a real diacritic to count as Cabañas effect. Hyphenated names are normal, ask a Quebecois.
CM: We're not going to do that, because we hate them, too. For completely different reasons than we hate you, mind.
BV: Out of curiosity, what do you think of the Tomerians?
CM: They must be pretty rubbish if they got beat by your side. Twice.
BV: Okay, sure. So why do you never make fun of them?
CM: Uh...we don't want to be sued for libel.
BV: In what jurisdiction? There are some places with pretty broad free speech laws.
CM: Any of them.
BV: Where are you even based, anyway?
CM: Who's running this interview?
BV: You claim that you hate every country, but where are you from that's just magically outside the system?
CM: Uh...there are precedents with institutions like Capitalizt SLANI, which, while boasting much of the same sporting infrastructure as any other "association," would not self-identify as a "country" per se...
BV: Are you from one of those cool polar areas that's not claimed as anyone's sovereign territory and dedicated to peaceful scientific research? Because those are really--
CM: No no no don't you start too!

PENGUIN OF THE DAY: The gentoo penguin (Pygoscelis papua) is distinguished by the white stripe on its head, its long tail, and its fast underwater swimming speed. It evolved from the Gen1 penguin, in which these features were less prominent. [I thought you didn't like the Zwangzugians and now you're cribbing their Algebraic English thing? -ed]

MD11: Sandberg 23, Berrabah 42, Utada 74; Mookaiah 7 and 66, Istibar 21, Lavenza 49
MD12: Lavrans 20, Regins-Ybou 68; Aspach 41

by **Andossa Se Mitrin Vega** » Fri May 15, 2026 8:13 pm

VIVIENNE SA'IL LIVE!

VivisDayOut
Hangin With The Girls
5,023,007 watching

The stream opens with complete chaos.

Vivienne’s camera is pointed directly at the ceiling while somebody in the background yells:

“THAT DRESS COSTS MORE THAN MY CAR!”

Ana Sarria immediately responds: “You drive a terrible car.”

The camera flips around to reveal the five Sea Dragons players wandering through the glittering upper levels of Verradis Plaza carrying shopping bags and iced coffees.

Vivienne grins.

“HELLO HATCHLINGS. Today we are participating in an ancient Vegai cultural tradition known as ‘buying things we absolutely do not need.’”

COMMENTS
dragongirl7516: THE WHOLE SQUADDDD
karihearts: ANA ON STREAM AGAIN YES
clumsyomar: ANALISSE SPOTTED
girlygirl17: Shu'u is so pretty omg

Analisse Ankarii, the veteran midfielder and unofficial team mom, appears beside Vivienne holding at least seven shopping bags.

“I blame all of you.”

“You literally bought three jackets.”

“They were emotionally necessary.”

Ana walks into frame wearing sunglasses indoors.

“I support women’s wrongs.”

The chat EXPLODES.

sandrasmom44: VIV PLEASE
vivifan4life: captain behavior honesty
mookiebutts12: MILCHAMA LOSS UHG

Vivienne points at the comments.

“Exactly. UHG says it all . And please stop posting crying edits of me after the Milchama match. I looked greasy.”

Shu'u Erasteles nearly chokes laughing.

“You WERE crying.”

“Okay but aesthetically.”

The girls eventually wander into an ultra-luxury formalwear boutique with marble floors, gold lighting, and enormous mirrored fitting rooms.

Vivienne gasps dramatically.

“Oh this place is dangerous.”

A boutique employee recognizes them instantly.
The poor woman barely gets out: “Welcome to—”
before Molli Yish spins in place and announces:
“We are here to create problems.”

COMMENTS
gonnaberestreamingthis: MOLLI
sk8rzrule: national team menace squad let them cook

Cut to twenty minutes later.
The boutique has completely transformed into organized chaos.

Music is blasting softly through the store speakers while the Sea Dragons players emerge from dressing rooms in increasingly ridiculous outfits.

Vivienne serves as announcer.

“WELCOME to the first annual Sea Dragons Fashion Cup.”

She pans the camera toward Ana Sarria emerging in a sleek black formal suit with silver embroidery.

The entire store goes quiet.

Vivienne SCREAMS.

“ANA YOU LOOK LIKE A MOVIE VILLAIN!”

Ana poses with one hand in her pocket.

“Good.”

COMMENTS
OH MY GOD
boyswillbe oys15: she can abuse me any day
seasragonfan23145: center back aura unmatched

Next comes Shu'u Erasteles in a flowing sea-green gown that sparkles under the boutique lights.

Vivienne dramatically falls to her knees.

“SHE LOOKS LIKE AN OCEAN PRINCESS.”

Shu'u twirls once and immediately bursts into laughter.

“I cannot walk in these shoes.”

“You don’t need to walk. You simply float.”

Analisse emerges next wearing an elegant dark blue dress with gold trim.

The entire group starts cheering.

Molli wipes imaginary tears.

“That’s my hero.”

Analisse sighs.

“I’m surrounded by children.”

“You love us.”

“…unfortunately.”

COMMENTS
pookiebearcuddles: ANALISSE TEAM MOM CONFIRMED
great expectations 33: auntie energy

Then comes Molli.

Nobody is prepared.

She steps out wearing an aggressively extravagant white-and-gold dress with a massive feathered collar.

Vivienne drops the phone from laughing too hard.

“MOLLI WHAT IS THAT.”

Molli strikes a dramatic pose.

“I am attending the royal wedding of a country that does not exist.”

Ana is visibly crying laughing in the background.

“You look like an expensive swan.”

The chat moves so fast it becomes unreadable.

Finally, everyone starts chanting: “VIV! VIV! VIV!”

Vivienne immediately shakes her head.

“No. Absolutely not.”

Ana grabs the camera.

“She found a dress she likes and now she’s scared.”

“TRAITOR.”

Several minutes later Vivienne reluctantly steps out from the fitting room.

The boutique actually quiets.
She’s wearing a fitted silver evening gown with subtle teal accents that shimmer like scales under the lights. Her blonde curls are partly pinned back, and for once she looks genuinely unsure of herself.

“Oh no,” Analisse says softly.

Vivienne blinks. “What?”

“You know it’s serious when nobody jokes for three seconds.”

Even Ana looks stunned.

“You clean up nice, Sa'il.”

Vivienne immediately hides her face behind her hands.

“STOP LOOKING AT ME.”

COMMENTS

ihatefooty: SEA DRAGON PRINCESS
killerkornerking: future ballon d’or aura

Vivienne peeks at the chat and groans.

“You people are making this weird.”

Molli walks behind her and whispers loudly: “She’s blushing.”

“I WILL END THIS STREAM.”

Instead, the girls crank the chaos even higher.

Someone turns the boutique runway platform lights on.

Ana points dramatically.

“Fashion show.”

Within seconds the Sea Dragons players are stomping down the aisle like professional models while boutique employees and random shoppers cheer them on.

Vivienne narrates everything like a sports commentator.

“ANALISSE WITH INCREDIBLE FOOTWORK— STRONG TRANSITION— EXCELLENT COMPOSURE UNDER PRESSURE—”

Analisse nearly falls laughing.

Molli pretends to wipe away tears at the end of the runway.

“I dedicate this performance to tactical flexibility.”

Ana somehow turns modeling into an intimidation tactic.

Shu'u blows kisses at the crowd.

Vivienne attempts a dramatic spin and almost eats the marble floor.

The entire store erupts.

COMMENTS
findingnemonow this is better than reality tv
sneakypete: definitely better than the milchama match

Later, the girls end up collapsed together on velvet couches surrounded by dresses, shopping bags, and half-finished drinks.

The mood softens.

“You know,” Analisse says quietly, “after Milchama, this was needed.”

The others nod.

Vivienne leans against Ana’s shoulder.

“We’re still in this thing. Barely”

Ana shrugs.

“One match at a time.”

Shu'u raises her drink.

“To the Sea Dragons.”

Everyone joins in.

“To the Sea Dragons.”

Vivienne smiles at the camera as the boutique lights glow gold around them.

“Okay hatchlings. Stream’s ending before Ana spends the federal budget.”

Ana points toward another dress rack.

“No promises.”

STREAM ENDED — 4h 52m

by **Dhemixia** » Fri May 15, 2026 8:22 pm

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Columbus Dominion(Est.1873)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's logic, and then there's whatever Group 8 is doing

Schedule:

~~MD1 @ Marsonne~~ D 1-1
~~MD2 vs. Smoltrendestof~~ W 5-4
~~MD3 @ The Kaisers Syndicates~~ L 3-4
~~MD4 vs. S&T~~ L 2-3
~~MD5 @ Tristan da Cunha~~ W 1-0
~~MD6 @ Airannia~~ D 1-1
~~MD7 vs. Crpostran~~ D 2-2
~~MD8 @ Juvencus~~ W 4-1
~~MD9 vs. Burikinia~~ L 0-3
~~MD10 vs. Marsonne~~ W 3-2
~~MD11 @ Smoltrendestof~~ L 0-2
~~MD12 vs. The Kaisers Syndicates~~ W 2-1
MD13 @ S&T
MD14 vs. Tristan da Cunha
MD15 vs. Airannia
MD16 @ Crpostran
MD17 vs. Juvencus
MD18 @ Burikinia

It's chaos. Unfiltered, pure, straight from the source chaos. The pot 1 would be entirely missing the playoffs right now, the pot 2 would be dead last, the pot 3 is in second, the pot 4 is in third, and the slush pot is leading the group. Whatever is unfolding here needs to be deeply studied before being cast away into the depths of scorination dark magic for the rest of time.

Good thing we're in World Cup 101. Lesson one: Maggie has no allegiances.

For the last three cycles, Dhemixia's been in a sort of no-man's-land in terms of ranking. The Serps have been straight grouped every cycle they've been in, and they haven't really had success in the IAC or CoH outside of the first knockout win in FA history earlier this cycle. Don't get too excited though, it was a Round of 32 match, and they proceeded to get absolutely domed in the Round of 16 after. The Dhemixian people have been starved of any and all success, so even a playoff berth would be a national celebration this cycle. World Cup 101 is just the tournament for that, with five spots heading to the playoff of ten teams. It may have seemed that Dhemixia was almost cursed, but if there's any way to break it, it's winning right now.

That brings us to lesson two: Expect the unexpected.

Randy Calhoun and Hans Grabõn were the two biggest question marks entering this tournament. Ouattara was less so considering he's had some success in an actual footballing nation like Banija, but it was still wondered if he could fix a nation as broken as Dhemixia. For the two young guns, those question marks have been transformed into exclamations. Randy Calhoun has met if not exceeded expectations to fill the hole that Bolton left up front; he plays with the athleticism of a U-18 and the mind of a veteran senior squad captain. The same could be said for Grabõn, he's definitely a large part of the Dhemixians somehow still having a net zero GD, and I'm almost certain that they'd be at least -5 with the decaying skull and bones of Carlos Peters out there off the bench. Boro Ouattara inherited the Serpents at their worst, and he somehow found a way to transform them into one of the best Dhemixian teams in their history. He's led them this far into third place, and it seems like they'll be playing playoff football after all.

Therein lies lesson three: Complacency killed the cat. That or curiosity. Who knows?

So far, this cycle has been an overall success. Would you like a top two finish and not have to trudge through the playoffs? Yeah, most definitely, but you have to be thankful for even being in a position to get there. This is an entirely different style of team than we've seen in years past, and you could tell ever since they stepped on the pitch for the first game of the tournament. Even though it was a 1-1 draw against Marsonne, the Serps had a swagger to them. An innate cockiness, even. An earlier Dhemixian team does not have that, and I don't think they get a point from that game without that confidence. All the Dhemixians really have to do is be consistent through the final six and they've got a spot in the playoff. That is, if Margaret wills it.

Finally, lesson four: Margaret bows to nobody.

Marvin Bolton learned this lesson the hard way. She can bring someone up just as easily as she can bring someone to their knees.

There's no predicting her, there's no understanding her, and there's certainly no Wight.

by **Aleirave** » Fri May 15, 2026 9:48 pm

Cracking a Diamond

The match in Maritaine would be a major inflection point in Aleirave’s World Cup Qualifying hopes. They were on top of the group now, but there were two ways this situation could end up going: the momentum they built with Haulafo’s return to management could just keep going like this, or eighth-placed Maritaine could serve them a major reality check here in Valençay. Given that the match these two teams played in Lahaira was so close, anything could really come of this one.

When the Royal Tricolors launched an early offensive and opened the score in the 12th minute, signs were definitely pointing towards the reality check option, as the Baptism of Fire runners-up seemed poised to even up their head-to-head on their home turf. Aleirave tried to press forward with the same Seagull-ball that had worked so well against Vdara, but something was out of tune. It was missing. Just like the first match between Aleirave and Maritaine, the home team led 1-0 at the half.

Maritaine’s bizarre diamond system, the one they pioneered in the Baptism of Fire, was paying off for them; it was able to counter Seagull-ball in a way the Islanders weren’t really prepared for… but Haulafo wasn’t going to take this lying down. He started making substitutions and giving placement instructions that would shift the calculus towards Aleirave’s favor.

While Seagull-ball wasn’t really built around having instructions for placement, rather being focused on free flow and doing “whatever feels right”, it seemed pertinent to Haulafo to at least have some ground rules governing where players should be, since whatever felt right to the Islanders seemed to be playing into the Maritain side’s strengths perfectly.

The team wasn’t sure about the instructions they were being given, with how un-Aleiravan the concept of playing with any established positions at all was, but the results spoke for themselves as it turned out Haulafo had figured out how to do the seemingly impossible: he figured out how to chip a diamond.

Efineha Tesuna’e did the first damage in the 53rd minute, although Alexander Le Pons gave his team back the lead in the 59th. From there, however, there was zero looking back for the Seabirds. Vorstyn tied it in the 63rd, Ho’uminalu took the lead in the 74th, and Katehovi sealed it off in the 82nd. Maritaine 2, Aleirave 4. Any rumors of Aleirave’s demise were greatly exaggerated.

Unfortunately, this match wouldn’t have as much of an impact on the group standings as the team would’ve hoped, as Pomachetti prevailed 2-0 in the New Montreal States and Vdara won a 6-5 slugfest against midtable Megistos. However, first-seeded StrayaRoos did tank a 3-0 loss in the Martian Independent Republic, taking them out of striking distance of first. Too mad “momentum for the MIR” was exactly what Haulafo and company didn’t want to hear about right now, as both teams’ paths were set to converge in Lahaira.

The MIR’s upward trajectory was arguably even greater than Aleirave’s, as after a sluggish 2-0-4 start (starting with 3 straight clean sheets against them to the tune of a 0-10 total score) the Martians were on an amazing 3-2-0 run to bring them right back to a playoff position.

At this point, however, there was simply no stopping the clinic Haulafo’s Seagulls were putting on. With the match happening in an Old Grounds, where the crowd didn’t go quiet for a second, the atmosphere boosted the team’s performance even more, and while the match was hard-fought on both sides, the hosts came away with the narrow 2-1 victory, their fifth in a row.

Not only that, but with Vdara drawing in their visit to Estorvipa and Estorpiva and Pomachetti drawing a heartbreaker at home against last-placed Haltoria, the Seagulls now found themselves 4 points clear of second place. They could officially lose a match and still be guaranteed to stay in first, which was a good thing when the next team coming to Lahaira would be StrayaRoos, with a trip to Megistos following afterwards. Of course, Haulafo would be asked about the lead the team found themselves in at the post-match presser (which in Lahaira is really just Sergei Alinov holding up a microphone to your face and asking whatever he feels like without much regard to journalistic standards):

“How do you feel about being 4 points up going into the StrayaRoos match? Is it good to have that safety net going into the toughest matchup in this group?”

“As nice as it is to have some room for mistakes, we obviously don’t wanna lose that room. Falena did a great job of managing this team to a draw in StrayaRoos, and it shows that we’re more than capable of getting the win back here. This is our home ground, we have the momentum, all signs point to us being able to get the job done. We can’t be losing sight of our goal with talks of safety nets and ‘well we can make it up later’. That’s how we end up missing out by dropping more points to Pomachetti later on.”

“Looking at the schedule, it looks like matchdays 13 and 16 are especially interesting… while we're playing StrayaRoos, Pomachetti will be in Vdara, and when we go to Pomachetti it'll be Vdara going to StrayaRoos. Obviously having two days in the schedule where top 4 teams are all playing one another, there has to be something to that, right?”

“Oh, of course, I mean we're going to learn so much from these days. This race is so exciting, we all wanna get to the World Cup but not all of us can… days like these with so many critical matches happening at once define races like these. They're make or break, and we're ready for them.”

by **Libegeist** » Fri May 15, 2026 11:07 pm

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles: Red Rock

Play music.

It's amazing how such a brutal attack on a city can be capable of opening up one's need for compassion, especially in a dire time when the terrorist attacks that primarily and centered around the currently closed University of Red Rock has marked the beginning of the "injustice" era.

It was that sense of why?

Why here?

Why at Red Rock?

What have they done to deserve this?

No one still had a clue.

No one knew why terrorists even focused on the University of Red Rock of all places.

It was a disgusting act of terrorism to invoke fear.

But, in the passing days, sympathy was given. Not to ignore the pain that was caused, but to show solidarity for those that needed it.

As a result, Red Rock was given a re-evaluation for hundreds and was being turned into something else.

Fashion companies have been booking for venues all around Red Rock to show off their seasonal wares. A new line of sunglasses and wedge sandals in tricolors. Handbags were in a metamorphosis of different shapes and sizes. There was a fashion company that had recently set up offices there to make clothing and accessories to accommodate people who were elderly or had physical disabilities. A new jacket and an 3D printed accessory already being worn by someone with limited upper body strength and range of motion. They use the accessory around their neck to scan their metro card at the subway station. Accessibility was trying to be granted towards those with Parkinson's disease, ALS, multiple sclerosis, and arthritis.

Architects wanted to make use of desert land within the canyon of Red Rock for their own creations. A book known as Architectural Construction Illustrated was a bestseller for those that wanted to do construction in the town. Offices were setting up shop with variety of styles, from tulip fields being turned into Mondrian art, to mirrors that were bending light, and to Art Deco being merged with the modern day. On another side of the buildings built on sand, there was work for a rain garden and plaza by the river to get the greenery in from the main river far away.

There was an architect that lived in Fairfax, who came all the way by the subway system to get over to Red Rock to participate in some work. He wanted to get some color in the air. He was known for adding in electronic multi-touch screen walls and making houses out in the wilderness. He saw the colors of white, blue, and green to be in vogue. Besides the bud vases that he made in the colors of shades of succulent limes, pomelo fruits, mint leaves, and muted stormy tones; he was adding in some finishing touches to the top floor of a plaza that had a whole floor devoted to a beauty salon and health spa. A lot of white with some colors here and there, though the amount of white was the same as outside at the main hall, which the wide open spiral staircase was the place to view another spectacle that was happening in Red Rock. Inside of the main hall, an event to help promote and raise support for Libegeist's soccer team had a large group of people making a human tower. Inevitably, it falls, as the local news station shows, though it was their attempt to do a record to get people riled up.

The sun would set set soon on.

Coming out of one train was someone who came to mourn. He was mourning to himself, since it was a close secret that the daughter that he was trying to let open up to him was now dead or possibly sent to the Exclusion Zone. A bouquet of white chrysanthemums to honor her. He took a moment to think on why he was here. He looked ahead of him to notice that there was a woman with a baby that was waving at a passing train. She even gently rested her hand around the baby's arm to move it side-to-side to have it wave at the passengers. A big pit went into his stomach. He continued on.

He waved past LED pillars that showed cherry blossoms and he walked by a storefront window that had glowing blue neon flowers that bathed in an oceanic light. He was only allowed to go as far as he was allowed, since the memorial that was being built for the Red Rock victims wasn't technically at the school itself. The Homeland Security Agency had cordoned off the university to monitor for suspicious individuals.

Several others bouquets and mementos were left at the memorial site that was still being built. He had set the bouquet gently down on the stone, treating it as the stone of a mausoleum. He was never able to get to know on what happened to his daughter. All he knew was that she was gone now.

He kneeled in front of the stone.

He was able to not cry.

"Kira... I'm sorry." Steve Maebure said to his daughter.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles: Union City

Play music that was coming from a portable turntable, left behind by one of the slain.

They took it over to the severed tail end of Flock Fairs Flight 880, which was close by to another piece of plane wreckage from the same aircraft. Anyone who managed to survive when the Kirbyan virus appeared at Union City would know about the stories of Flock Fairs Flight 880. It was supposed to be one of the last-ditch efforts to escape the city, as it was being overwhelmed by the infected. However, for mysterious reasons, not even HSA was able to figure out, the plane suddenly exploded mid-air, killing all of the 259 people onboard. The charred remains of those that perished were mostly in pieces and scattered throughout what's left of the city.

It was currently a "gathering" among the sickos that were trying to be sane. Two sickos, among their disfigured and ghoulish appearances, had paired together as a couple in an attempt to remember "good times". Within the twisted trees of the woods, they were laying on a slab of rock that felt like a bed by the river. One of them had sunglasses on to cover the glowing glint in his eyes. His girlfriend had a bloody rusty silver spoon that may or may not have been used to remove eyeballs. In fairness, she didn't know why she had the spoon in her hand in the first place, other than she went to what was left of the natural body store.

Elsewhere, other young sickos were shambling around at the tail end of the plane, gathered with no sense of rhythm and reason, while the night skies have been them more alert.

by **Zenic** » Fri May 15, 2026 11:15 pm

'First place is realistically out of our reach, even with a positive international window like we just had.'

'But...'

'Automatic qualification is still on the menu!,' Geraldo Zys thought to himself after lying down in his bed to unwind from one of the most difficult matches of his tenure with the Survivors. Earlier in the week, Zenic had traveled to New Eastern Canada and came away with a rare and much needed road win. That also constituted this squad's first sweep of these qualifiers as the Survivors also won the first matchup 5-0. And they could certainly use a few more sweeps to achieve automatic qualification.

And yet the draw against Banija was even more impressive despite the lower immediate reward. Zenic unfortunately failed to make any real progress forward but somehow managed to keep the best team in the group to no goals to maintain their lead as the best defensive team in said group. That statement felt wrong even though the stats supported it: Zenic's 9 goals allowed were 2 goals less than The Golden Harp and 6 less than Banija or Libegeist. How did they manage to achieve this in a group that features a few squads who specialize in defense? Zys had no idea.

Up next were Delitai on the road before coming back to square off with Sharktail. Two wins in the subsequent window would give Zenic their second sweep of the cycle and a third series win via a win and draw against Sharktail. Can Zenic come away with 6 points? Absolutely, especially considering their aforementioned opponents have a combined 2 wins, both for Sharktail. Will they? That's the question of the day. If everything proceeded as Zys thought it would, Zenic would be in 2nd or 3rd place at the moment with a decent point lead. Instead, they've tenuously crawled their way back into 5th place and do just enough to hold onto it for now. 6 points could easily catapult them into 3rd place (or 2nd with an INSANE amount of luck) but what would normally be a pretty slam dunk scenario in previous cycles seemed like a significantly more difficult hurdle to clear at the moment.

He closed his eyes for a few minutes and just zoned out in bed before a thought popped up in his head. How did the players rebound so quickly? Their first and only loss so far at home would have demoralized many teams, primarily teams going through a bit of a rough patch like the Empire. Did they see the press conference? Is this them playing after finally getting a chance to clear their head, catch a breath, and focus? If they did see the press conference, are they playing well because of what Zys had said or to spite what he said? Nah, they wouldn't do it out of spite. Training went well but it had done so in the previous windows and Zenic had come up short before.

Did it even matter? The cause for the motivation wasn't so important at the moment as just the fact that they appeared motivated on the pitch and executed the game plans with barely a hitch. Just replicated it as closely as possible and this last hurrah may very well lead somewhere unexpected.

For now though, it was time to rest as Zys finally faded away into slumber from exhaustion that might take more than just one good night of sleep to get rid of.

by **Recuecn** » Sat May 16, 2026 12:52 am

Rébecca Firaut was tired of waiting. Her living room was starting to feel like a prison cell. She was rotting on the couch, watching Taeshan knock in three goals against the équipe nationale. She waited only a few minutes—just long enough to know that his post-match debrief would be over—before picking up her phone and calling Hyron LeBouffe.

The ÉNRF manager picked up the phone on the second ring, confused. "Rébecca?"

"Coach, you have to let me play. I'm dying here. And look at this game. No one's scoring. You need me."

On the other end of the line, Hyron let out an exasperated sigh. Rébecca could envision him pinching the bridge of his nose. "We already spoke about this, Rébecca. Once your own club gives you the green light to lace up again, I'm willing to call you up. Not before."

"But that could be three more months!!" Rébecca wailed. "They said probably not until World Cup qualifying playoffs!"

"Gee, almost like you had a serious injury," said Hyron. "Listen to your trainers and Don't Get Yourself Hurt. I'll talk to you in the summer."

"Putain!" Rébecca yelled. She pitched her phone at the far end of the couch, where it bounced off the armrest and landed on the carpet. Hopefully Hyron had hung up soon enough not to hear her outburst... no, Rébecca hoped he had heard it. Fuck him! Her injury had been months ago! And he still wouldn't let her play? Didn't he understand how badly she needed it?

The next day, Michèle Simon came in from Reçueçn city to take Rébecca out for lunch. Rébecca knew Michèle wanted something from her, but she was too frustrated to worry about it; she needed to vent. Across overpriced paninis, she began to pour out her frustrations.

"It's like, haven't I done my time? I feel fine! I can walk around again, my leg doesn't hurt at all—what are they waiting for?"

Michèle nodded sympathetically. "I totally feel you. LeBouffe is always making these decisions for other people out of some egotistical savior-complex. But you're a professional athlete. Obviously you know your own body better than a stranger."

"Thank you!" Rébecca was too happy to find someone else who finally agreed with her, that she didn't think about the way all her other friends had tried to push back when she complained about her PT's evaluations. "It's like, what do I have to do to get back out there?"

Michèle thought for a moment. "I think, between the two of us, we could do something about it." She wiped her fingers on her napkin. "I haven't been able to protest when LeBouffe gets in the way of my plans to help out the ÉNRF—yes, I'm on the executive committee, but I'm just one vote. He has the rest of the federation wrapped around his little finger. I can pull some strings to get you back on the squad for World Cup qualification if you like..."

"I would love that!" Rébecca burst in.

"But I need your help showing the rest of the federation how much he's hurting the team. If you can work with me so we can reveal him for who he is, we could get r... well, it would be for the best for the team."

Rébecca was too busy imagining herself taking the pitch in Tydebwg in the next match against Kwrpania to really listen to what Michéle was saying. "Yes, yes, of course," she said.

Michèle tried and failed to stop the corners of her mouth from curling into a grin. "We'll make a great team, Rébecca," she said. "I knew I liked you for a reason."

It wasn't until she got back home that Rébecca wondered again about what it was Michèle had wanted from her. She still hadn't brought anything up. In fact, after the conversation about Coach LeBouffe, Michèle had seemed much more chill, like a lot of pressure had been lifted off her shoulders and she didn't have to act anymore. Rébecca had a sense she'd figured it out... but she buried the thought. She was too mad at LeBouffe to let it go. And so, willfully ignoring the warning signs beginning to pop up in her mind, she called her friend Franky at the FNRF to complain about her coach.

by **Bonusia** » Sat May 16, 2026 3:55 am

Round 1: Nusandara 0-3 Bonusia - W
@ Nusandara
Round 2: Bonusia 3-2 HUElavia - W
@ La Caravana, Op, Bonport, Bonusia
Round 3: Libesia 0-1 Bonusia - W
@ Hasimou Biri Sports Complex, Hayaale, Libesia
Round 4: Bonusia 2-0 Katzeburg - W
@ Estadi de la Unificació, Somorrosta, Detrívora, Bonusia
Round 5: Beal an Mhuirthead 1-2 Bonusia - W
@ Beal an Mhuirthead
Round 6: Bonusia 2-0 Aamathyr - W
@ Tomàtic, Sant Molina, Ralí, Bonusia
Round 7: Aphrilia 1-0 Bonusia - L
@ Millennium Dawn Stadium, Darlingtown, Aphrilia
Round 8: Bonusia 2-0 Warkus - W
@ La Cova del Tigre, Unom, Plana d'Unó, Bonusia
Round 9: Carpathia and Ruthenia 2-3 Bonusia - W
@ Carpathia and Ruthenia
Round 10: Bonusia 2-1 Nusandara - W
@ Estadi d'Avellanes&Turró, Minga, Tionera, Bonusia
Round 11: HUElavia 3-4 Bonusia - W
@ Estadio Porto, Portimao, HUElavia
Round 12: Bonusia 2-1 Libesia - W
@ La Blanquinada, Tarraconova, Tarraconensis, Bonusia
Round 13: Katzeburg vs Bonusia
@ Anchor Field, Inverhaven, Katzeburg
Round 14: Bonusia vs Beal an Mhuirthead
@ Hepepelioli, Wèep, Pungapu, Bonusia
Round 15: Aamathyr vs Bonusia
@ Aamathyr
Round 16: Bonusia vs Aphrilia
@ Estadi Bonusià Inda' Regareka, Kekla, Keklagara, Bonusia
Round 17: Warkus vs Bonusia
@ Dome of Virtue, Nyareth Newydd, Warkus
Round 18: Bonusia vs Carpathia and Ruthenia
@ Estadi Casa Tarradellas, Kynetbo, AMK

MATCHDAY 11	MATCHDAY 12
HUELAVIA 3-4 BONUSIA	BONUSIA 2-1 LIBESIA
SMELLS LIKE PENGUIN AND OIL Vital win in HUElavia almost guarantees Bonusia's presence in WC 101	NO TIME TO KICK BACK The push isn't over, but Bonusia gets a step closer by defeating a difficult Libesia.
Events (HUE): C. Milano 17'(P), J. Serra 22', A. Gavicaechebarria 62' // \|\| A. Girard 7', M. Llancay 43', C. Milano 50', P. España 78' Events (BON): A. Cea 10' 53', B. Formiga 74', P. Miró 90+4' // \|\| C. Bruch 25', S. Casas 37', P. Miró 90+4'	Events (BON): A. Dou 23', A. Obiols 64' // \|\| T. Gonfaus 33' Events (LIB): B. Bhekinkosi 47'
SUMMARY: At last, the moment of truth came. The Bonusian and the HUElavian national teams met in Portimao in mayhaps the most key matchup to determine who is avoiding the playoffs and travelling to Farfadillis and Paradystopia by the fast lane. As before the game, the Estrella Negra standed 9 points ahead of the HUElavians; however, with the upcoming 6-pointer, a HUElavian win would have reducted the distance between both teams to only 6 points, a more than solvable difference for the amarela Due to it's exteme importance to both squads, the game was characterized from the beginning by a really high-intensity effort from both teams, with high-pressure and a high game rythm. As teams adapted to it, several goals came in early in the 1st half. Bonusia would surprise everyone and strike first, with Aitor Cea recieving a sweet pass from Jofre Ramon to gracefully stick it into the net. The locals reacted swiftly, though, and they managed to go from 0-1 to 2-1 in barely 5 minutes; thanks to a penalty converted by Milano and a later individual play beautifully executed by Serra, who left the Bonusian defense completely helpless. With this result, the first half would come to an end, a 1st half that was dominated by chaos, and where tensions brought some dirty game to the equation, with the referee having to show several yellow cards to maintain order. The second half would be similar to the first. With no team with it's business done, the game would be dominated by an extremely tense aura. In this ambinace, though, Aitor Cea would yet rise again. The star striker of Z'ai'ai would get an unbelievable piss-missile goal from afar, which travelled with such potence that it would be impossible to stop for Belluci. This goal would mean the 2-2 and would push HUElavia even further, desperately searching for the win. And for a while, they had it, as... inhales... Antistenes Gavicaechebarria, combined with Arruda to get a 3-2 that left the game in a very complicated spot for Bonusia. HUElavia seemed comfortable and Bonusia was about to lose it's sanity on the field. However, a single goal changed the tide of the game definitively. On the 74th minute, a free kick was awarded to Bonusia. The ball was at about 20-25 meters from the goal, the perfect distance for Bernat Formiga to do his magic and convert it into the equalizer. A spectacular curl that got the HUElavian goalie completely out of place. HUElavia searched for the winning goal much more than Bonusia, as 9 points without any direct match between both squads was certainly something that the HUElavians could not afford themselves. However, this push proved to be a fatal mistake, as Itziar Jara recovered the ball in a compromised area, with HUElavia absolutely scattered across the field. Jara only found Miró on the side going for the attack, so she gave the long pass to him. Miró advanced from the flank and into the kitchen, and seeing no one else to pass the ball to, he finished it himself. A kick with strength but no precision, that entered mostly because of divine will, but which set the final 3-4 result that would earn Bonusia the win; after a last desperate attempt from HUElavia that was dismissed by the defense. With this win, now, Bonusia stands 12 points above HUElavia and, with only 7 games to go, the qualification is not yet done but certainly as close as it's ever been. With this setup, Bonusia would need a maximum of 9 points to secure a top 2 position.	SUMMARY: After winning in HUElavia, the national team recieved Libesia in Tarraconova. Despite the rankings showing a home game against the last team of the group, Boquete and Medina had the first leg against them in mind. Libesia was certainly a hard squad to beat, with a style of game that proved complicated to surpass with the usual Bonusian gameplan. They proved hard to beat in their home stadium and they certainly would prove difficult to beat in Bonusian soil. Fortunately, the Labubus Espaials managed to score relatively early. Antonieta Dou found a space after a good through pass by Arnau Poveda and finished the play nicely with a low shot. From then on, the game presented itself under a different light, and while Libesia was hungry for the points, Bonusia managed to somewhat control the tide of the game and avoided major complications. However, at the beginning of the second half, Libesia striked first and striked hard. Fàbregas slept on her position, and that was used by Bhekinkosi to advance and get a 1v1 against Cloquell. The Libesian winger solved it efficiently and got the equalizer for his country. Then, back to square one. Libesia was very well organized and it was difficult for Bonusia to find the spaces to get ahead for the second time. The answer came with Antoni Obiols. The midfielder, who recently signed for Qusma side Poldanz, was the channel from which disorder was brought into the game. Libesia found it consistently more difficult to counter his irregular passing and dribbling patterns In the end this situation of uncertainty generated enough confusion for Obiols to trick the Libesian defenders and get himself a chance at scoring, which he didn't waste. A great mid-ranged shot that went right into the top-left corner. After this goal, Bonusia would even have more chances to ampliate the advantage; but alas, no more goals would be scored, ending with a 2-1 for Bonusia. With the 2-2 tie between Katzeburg and HUElavia, Bonusia is now 14 points ahead of the latter, and only getting 5 more points would mathematically assure the Black Star a ticket to Farfadillis and Paradystopia.

by **Kimi-Suomi** » Sat May 16, 2026 4:16 am

After the 6-point window we desperately needed, the Huuhkajat were back up into 3rd in this Anaian-flavoured Group A with 8 games left to play, and everyone was still believing in the strength of this team. Even if this group was seriously testing our patience as a collective and our will overall, we still felt like a good team, even with the 3 defeats we have suffered. Esko Laaksonen was still rallying the troops, and Kimin Armeija was still responding in proud voice. Sure, the going might get tough, and we may end up in a scenario where we have to battle for every point we could muster, but as long as we still have a mathematical shot at Top 2, we will continue to fight...even in windows such as this one.

Pesä would be hosting our third-straight home game of the campaign as Doychnya came over to Kimi Kaupunki for the rematch. Considering we only beat these guys 1-0 in the away tilt of this group, we knew that we had to be very careful in this one, but the game that ended up being played in the capital was just puhdasta kaaosta beftting of the Pitkä Tie Takaisin. Defence seemed not to be of an immediate concern in the first half as two goals from Jason Jenner-Pokka were countered by our lowly opponents in a bit of quickfire jalkapallo. The second half was more methodical, more controlled, and it befitted our playstyle even more, with Enni Pajari making it 3-2 in the 51st and never looking back. It was a crazy game...but we still won, right?

After that came the game that everyone was fearing - Ääniorjainen away, at The Beltzarga in Cathair. They can bleed, Andso Mangis proved that by scoring a goal on them, but apart from that, they had been imperious from the very start. Getting anything from this contest was going to be a huge ask, but do you know what? They certainly tried. Esko and his team REALLY tried to get something from this game. We didn't sit back and let the Bulls come to us, we tried to meet them as equals and scrap it out fair and square. They allowed us to have most of the ball, but we didn't let ourselves go unguarded. The two goals they scored, both from Kjartan Lúnquerque, were from set pieces. From open play, we held our own ground and even caused chaos in theirs. That has to count for something, right? We do slip to 4th, but in the end, this performance made us not care about all of that.

6 points off 2nd, 2 off 3rd, we certainly will have serious work to do in these final 6 games - so this next window has to go on the right track for all of our sakes. Getting revenge on Bharatamandala at Pesä will be key, as will getting a win out of an emotional trip to Venäjän Imperiumi EPL, with security measures in place to make sure our players and fans can get in and out as safely as possible. If we want to pressure that Top 3, we need to keep getting those points on the board...simple as that.

Se on edelleen meidän käsissämme. Meidän täytyy vain todistaa se.
NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

SCHEDULE/AJOITTAA (Group 1)
MD1: @Andso Mangis (188) W 3-1
MD2: @Doychnya (395) W 1-0 (2nd)
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MD3: vs Ääniorjainen [Audioslavia] (8) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki L 0-1 (3rd)
MD4: @Bharatamandala (325) D 0-0 (3rd)
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MD5: vs Venäjän Imperiumi EPL [Russian Empire EHA] (343) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki W 3-1 (2nd)
MD6: @Pyazhnaya (30) - Krasnograd Dome, Krasnograd L 0-3 (3rd)
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MD7: vs Länsi-Vdara [West Vdara] (70) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat D 1-1 (4th)
MD8: @Abanhfleft (83) L 1-2 (4th)
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MD9: vs Hanalinen [Hanalia] (91) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat W 2-0 (4th)
MD10: vs Andso Mangis (188) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat W 3-0 (3rd)
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MD11: vs Doychnya (395) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki W 3-2 (3rd)
MD12: @Ääniorjainen [Audioslavia] (8) - The Beltzarga, Glassbridge, Cathair L 0-2 (4th)
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MD13: vs Bharatamandala (325) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki
MD14: @Venäjän Imperiumi EPL [Russian Empire EHA] (343)
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MD15: vs Pyazhnaya (30) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat
MD16: @Länsi-Vdara [West Vdara] (70) - Grand Amphitheater of the Proletariat, Agios Stavros
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MD17: vs Abanhfleft (83) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki
MD18: @Hanalinen [Hanalia] (91) - National Stadium, Hanalia(?)

by **Auprussia** » Sat May 16, 2026 4:56 am

An Aside about Basonia and Its Cultures

The next chapters are going to take on the Basonic, Vascon, and Bervic names and their origins but some context is needed for this chapter. The Basonic tribes had originated from the Northeast peninsula before the settlement era and had migrated westward to occupy the center of modern day Basonia, sitting right next to the Lorentines in Chagris. The Vascons in contrast had originated in Chagris and had moved westward towards modern day Basonia. In ancient times both the Vascon and Basonic tribes were engaged in multiple conflicts before in 127 SE (Settlement Era) the Kingdom of Basony was formed and the Vascons and their nobility were welcomed. What caused these two enemies to unite? A common enemy.

The Bervic tribes were not originally from Auprussia, in fact they were the remnants of a tribe long lost to history who had somehow made their way to Auprussia right before the Settlement Era. They landed on the Northeast peninsula right after the Basonic tribes left the same place and almost right away there were issues. Accounts from this time are a bit fuzzy but the Bervic tribes had led raids against the Basonic and the Norde Morgav tribes. Then the Bervic tribes started to extend their raids and got very close to Chagris with the worst of it affecting Vascon lands. All 3 had been at odds with each other ever since.

The Basonic and Vascon tribes have some of the same tendencies as Pied but have differentiated themselves over the years. The Bervics? They do not resemble most of the Auprussian cultures, their in the category known as Non-Piedish along with the Teolanders, Morgavs, Albans, Aalmar, and Schwylls. (If you are familiar with Auprussian culture you may ask why the Sassens do not go into this category, that is a complicated subject we will talk about when we get there). Bervic culture itself has some fuzzy links to the Aalmars as early documentation in the Settlement Era had described the tribes as "a tribe of men who fought the Aalmar in a far land". It is vague but most historians infer that the Bervic and Aalmar had come from the same place. We can't confirm if this is true unfortunately.

The other question is did the Bervics take anything from their interactions with the Basons and Vascons. An obvious analogue is their version of "of" is "Di" but it is a bit rarer to see this than in other Auprussian cultures. Bervic has few analogous names (instead opting to take them wholesale like "Martin") and they had very little interaction with the Pieds full stop. The Bervic tribes instead more closely have analogues with the Aalmar and Morgavs as they not only have interacted with both tribes more, but in 452 ASE they did invade the Morgav Empire and the many Aalmar Kingdoms to the south of it with mixed success.

The Kingdom of Basony then finally conquered the peninsula for a short time before the Ost Migration (518 ASE) which started the long Basony-Ostisse (518 ASE-526 ASE) wars which resulted in the formation of Rechlan Ostisse (and also lead to the Osts adopting more of the Basonic and Pied culture as a result).

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