World Cup 100 | RP thread

by **Zenic** » Fri Nov 21, 2025 5:07 pm

"So, that was promising."

While Geraldo Zys had been hopeful for a positive result like this, he had plenty of alternative plans in case they had lost. But changing out 66% of your defenders and being able to battle to a 3-3 draw against a nation ranked in top 10 in the WORLD after such a poor defensive run in the qualifiers was a huge win. Now, Zenic stand in second place in Group F, behind only Kamijiro and ahead of the Commonwealth of Baker Park and Pyazhnaya, who also drew each other but at a 2-2 score.

"Floryan and Gopal did well out there. Obviously, it was a HUGE ask of them to start our first game of World Cup 100 against such a strong team but they stepped up to the challenge. Hopefully, the remaining games are a bit easier for them," Mara Tapi replied. "Yup. They had the best first half we could hope for and then the second half was pretty good. I mean, Kokubun did score a hattrick but he was the only person that the defensive unit allowed to score at all."

"Their clubs must be happy to see them do so well on the biggest stage in sports. Wonder if they'll hold onto them or try to make a nice profit on the transfer of a national team starter?" Zys questioned. "That's probably why I could never be a club manager: I'd hold onto them and be furious with the owners if they sold them from right out under my nose before it was time. Oops, forgot to jiggle the mouse."

Zys leaned forward and jiggled the mouse on the laptop. A few members of the Survivors managerial staff had gathered in one of the hotel rooms after the match and hooked up a portable projector to the laptop so they can all view. They had already gone over the highlights of the draw against Kamijiro and drawn whatever conclusions they could find. They were supposed to be preparing for Pyazhnaya but the group were currently taking a tiny break and checking out the standings after the first matchday of the World Cup.

"Whoa. Busoga Islands shut out Pasarga?! We need to reach out to Millet and find out her secret formula."

"Hey. Qusmo won a World cup match. Rock on, Rushmori bros!"

"6-1. Ouch. That's a tough loss to come back from, even if it is against the defending World Champions."

"I feel conflicted. On one hand, The Zquad is now 0-1-1 in this World Cup after Zwangzug's loss and our draw. On the other hand, it's nice to see one half of our Baptism of Fire hosts, Paradystopia, succeeding."

"Have you ever noticed that our jerseys are basically The Holy Empire's but just inversed?"

Everyone paused and then turned their heads to the person who spoke: GK Toms Elwin. Tapi sighed. "You read the article, didn't you?" Zys straightened up in his seat. "What article?" Tapi gave a small nod to a member of staff next to the laptop, who began searching for the referenced article. Zys noticed that they pulled up The Reçueçn Times website and an article written by one Jette Nachtnebel about the history of interesting and impressive looking jerseys throughout the World Cup's history. When they reached the part about The Holy Empire, everyone seemed to lean forward to get a better look. They slowly turned their head in one direction before uniformly turning their head in the opposite direction. "Huh. I'll be damned. I've been so busy just preparing for the actual games that I never really bothered to look deeper into these types of things."

"Yeah. And if we ever faced them, one of us would have to play in the wrong jersey," stated Elwin. Everyone turned their heads to him again for further clarification. "I mean, you can't do Gold home jerseys versus Gold away jerseys or Red away jerseys versus Red home jerseys." The others started looking at each other to converse. "I get what you're saying but unless we go independent or The Holy Empire comes to Rushmore, which would be a huge gain by the way, it's not going to come up that often," stated Zys. Many nodded in agreement.

"Though......." Zys trailed off, causing everyone else to paused and look at him. "When's the last time we've updated our jerseys? Never, right? I mean, if we continue being a mainstay in the World Cup proper, it's going to become a problem so it might be worth it to update our jerseys and swap our color scheme so that we never have a conflict?" While many agreed with the sentiment, Tapi replied almost immediately. "Understandable. But have you considered that we have vintage Barrengeka designs? That's something not many get to say and that number is going down slowly throughout the years. Also, it doesn't guarantee that we won't run into conflict with other nations that might run Red home jerseys and Gold away jerseys." Many confirmed their agreement with Tapi's statement.

"Valid point. I think we should discuss this with the FZF and Ministry of Sports but it's something that should be taken with utmost caution, time, and respect." Everyone finally agreed on one thing again. "Now that we have that settled, let's focus on our next opponent, Pyazhnaya," Zys stated as he took control of the laptop again and pulled up the folder with all the scouting information they had on their Anaian opponent.

"It would be a shame if we followed up such a promising first match with a dud in the second match."

by **United States of Nova Calania** » Fri Nov 21, 2025 5:55 pm

Le journal de Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer

Kytler Bay City, The Kytler Peninsulae - I'm very unlucky, I spilled some Juan Tzimisces beer on my laptop so I have to write this match report from my phone. We're living a moment we all waited for: Wolrd Cup 100! And on matchday one, Nova Calania played against The Holy Empire, who'se in the World Cup since the 1st edition. Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin attacked with the ball at the 9th minute and she passed it to Rodrigo Guenette-Velazquez who kicks the ball into the net. The Holy Empire tied the game at the 14th minute and I know they published their roster consisting of archaelogists but I don't have it on my phone and I didn't memorized their players by heart. Nova Calania scored two unanswered goals, one by Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau at the 23rd minute, who received the ball from Mei Qi Xiong and kicked it into the net, and the other goal by Mei Qi Xiong on a free kick at the 29th minute. The Holy Empire reduced Nova Calania's lead before the end of the first quarter and the score was 3-2 at halftime.

Nova Calania increased their lead at the 58th minute when Rodrigo Guenette-Velazquez had the ball and, instead of shooting, he passed it backwards to Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin who shoots and she scores. Rose Van der Jagt made a short pass to Haley Dockendorf-Salazar, at the 82nd munute. She kicks the ball and it's in. The Holy Empire scored on a bicycle kick 4 minutes later but it was too late for them and the final score was 5-3 Nova Calania.

On matchday 2, Nova Calania will play agsist Vdara or The Kytler Peninsulae, I'm not really sure, and I hope my laptop will he repaired by then.

Paul-André Veilleux

by **HUElavia** » Fri Nov 21, 2025 8:55 pm

HUElavia 1-2 Auprussia
(Arruda 42' | Mitregasque 23', Pardau 68')
Dhunmoor, Dhun Lagarr, Tikariot

CRISIS FROM THE GET-GO!

HUElavia are handed an upset defeat against Auprussia, sending the team into must-win territory going into Matchday 2!

It was finally time for HUElavia to participate in the World Cup once again, and in the 100th edition no less. Opening up Day 4 of the tournament, HUElavia was taking on Auprussia in what was a must-win for Os Amarelos/Los Amarillos. This was the "easiest" match of the schedule, but the team knew they could not sleep on this team, especially for how good of a campaign they had. Playing at a sold out crowd at Dhunmoor, with slightly more HUElavian support in the stands, the players came out motivated and with a desire to get points out of the match in order to make a statement at this historic World Cup.

The match turned out to be a much more difficult one than the HUElavians expected. While both teams were more cautious in the early get-go, they eventually got more motivated to take a good shot to take a chance at having the lead. Ancel and Gallis had their hands filled with making saves and blocks in order to prevent any shots from coming into the goal. HUElavia would try to set up their usual rhythm but the physicality of the Auprussians was tough on the players not just during the half, but really throughout the match. And this was proving to be problematic for the HUElavian midfield, especially on Kim and Wahle. In the 23rd minute, Siebault managed to send a low pass past the HUElavian defense to reach Mitregasque, who gave a low, one-time shot past the diving reach of Ancel into the goal, making it 0-1. Mitregasque was hugged and patted by their teammates while Coach Casillas barked out orders for the team to adjust. And adjust they did, as they began to attack more and more, putting pressure on Auprussia, pinning them more and more into their box. In the 42nd minute, Milano was being covered by Aelle, when he sent a cross into the box, where Arruda headed the ball down and bouncing on the ground to go past Gallis into the goal to make it 1-1. Arruda was hugged and patted by his teammates as he did The Cross and the HUElavian crowd was cheering with joy and applause for their persistent reaction. At the half, it was a 1-1 draw, but there was more to be desired from both teams.

The second half saw both teams continue to push on their attack, but once more, HUElavia struggled to get their typical style going with the constant hard, but clean tackles from the Auprussians made the physicality battle very tough on the team. Eventually in the 68th minute, a foul by Girard over Siebault gave way for a free kick. Pardau stepped up and sent a blistering free kick past the reach of Ancel into the top corner of the goal, making it 1-2. Pardau ran and kneeled to the corner flag, as his teammates mobbed him in celebration while the Auprussian crowd was in delirium for the goal. Coach Casillas barked out orders once more, wanting the team to adjust, including substitutes in Gavicaechebarria and Pinto for Kim and Schmidt respectively. HUElavia began to press more and more, now trying to chase another equalizer. Despite the chances, saves from Gallis and a crucial on-the-line block from Tignon would prevent HUElavia from getting that second goal. In the end, the match ended in a shocking loss, forcing HUElavia to face elimination games at this point.

In the other Group H match, Valanora defeated Kanzlia 0-1, which has Auprussia in 1st, Valanora in 2nd, HUElavia in 3rd and Kanzlia in 4th. Coach Casillas was quoted saying "We were outplayed by the physicality of Auprussia and they came out hungrier for a win than we were. Simply put, we slept on them and we paid the price for it. We have a lot to train and practice with, as well as film to study in order to improve into Matchday 2. We got a historic match against Valanora coming up, and we have to give it our all for a chance to get points against them. We still have two matches to go, but with a very small margin of error. We owe our fans a much better performance and we hope to bring out our best in a few days. We also count on our fans to come out and cheer us on." With the defeat, there is rumors that the midfield will change, with Gavicaechebarria likely to start alongside Sartori, in order to get some more physical control in the midfield, as well as Canales starting at LW in order to get some more pace on the wings. The big question is whether to have Ancel start in goal or not. it will likely be a game-time decision, but many fans are clamoring for Casillas to pick Belluci to start in goal. For now though, HUElavia must march on and take on one of the favorites of this tournament. In a match that seems like everything is against HUElavia, all they can do is play their best and go up.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

by **Paradystopia** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 12:03 am

In the beginning, there was nothing.

In fact, there was less than nothing.

There was a total absence of neither anything, nor nothing that was neither here nor there given the profound lack of existence of either a 'here' or a 'there'.

A void, a vacuum, a complete and utter emptiness where nothing would, could, or should ever happen.

Except something did.

For absolutely no logical reason at all, a tiny mote of green light suddenly and unexpectedly cast an infinitesimal glimmer throughout this vast and foreboding less-than-nothingness.

It grew, branching out with thin emerald tendrils which in turn blossomed and fattened. At the point at where this inexplicable light first shot forth there ballooned a rotund visage, warm white at it's head, and fading away to soft pastel lilacs at it's base. This entity swelled, it's light banishing the empty surroundings and creating shadow for the first time. Upon reaching an impossibly huge size, the entity spoke to me in a voice that was both booming and impressive, yet diaphanous and serene simultaneously.

"Be not afraid, my child. For 'tis I; The Magnificent Turnip. Omniscient Master and Creator of all Realities. Mother, Father, and Non-Gender-Specific Parent to all Multiverses."

Upon the revelation that it was I being addressed, I did what any sane person would do and that is, I'm not proud to say, shat myself. After composing myself enough to respond to the spectacular being that was, in vain, telling me to fear not, I am again shamed to say that the best I could manage was merely a weak 'Hello', and 'Are you God?'

"I am but a great many things to a great many people, and known thusly by a great many names. Personally though, were I to choose of a name that pleases me, I believe that I would choose 'Stavros'."

I endeavoured to give proper greetings with an appropriate level of gravitas unto Stavros, The Magnificent Turnip, though in truth, it came across a little bit silly.

"My child. There are great truths about this place which to you I must impart for you have been chosen. Chosen as my prophet to be gifted the sole task of the formation and forging of a grand nation of chosen people whom shall be henceforth known as the Paradystopi."

It was at this point that I cursed the void for it's lack of necessary writing implements, and did brace my mind to receive the Truth, and do my damnedest to remember it.

"Go forth, and unite the Penguins, for they are the Protectors of the Turnips.
Go forth, and befriend the Pteron and Xat'i peoples, for they will aid thee in your Holy Quest.
Go forth, and lay waste to the foul herbivorous Zebra. Let them see the error ..."

"... Error! ... Error? ... Are you dead, Error? ..."

The Paradystopi captain painfully opened his eyes to witness the greatness that was the interior of the Paladon Park medical facilities as well as the face of Olii, breathing slightly fishy breath into his nostrils as he tried to gain a response.

"Oh ... There you are ... We thought you were dead for a minute there."

"What ... underWhere ... Who ... Stavros?"

"Stavros? What? ... Anyway, so what happened was that there was this free kick towards the end of the game so you got Filthy to bring on the Ball Cannon. We were already one-nil up, remember? So anyway, it was a bit of time-wasting to bring on the Ball Cannon. You got it set up, but left Pedro to activate it whilst you were going to run up into the penalty area in case of a rebound or whatever. The thing is, that the referee blew their whistle just you started to run up, Pedro pressed the button straight away, you took a speeding football straight to the back of the head, which incidentally deflected the shot into the top corner but yeah, it properly knocked you out in the process. They awarded the goal to you though."

"Goal? What? Buttonhole the Magnificent Turnip?"

"Yeah, we brought the turnips on so Filthy could drag the ball cannon about."

Error tried to sit up, but suddenly became aware of a great pain towards the base of his skull. Olii tenderly laid a paw on Error's chest to return his manager back to a prostrate state.

"We won. Two-nil. Another win and we'll be in the knock-outs. I mean, that does involve beating Siovanija and Teusland, or Squornshelan Remnant States, but hey, there's a chance."

"I was the nachosen one ... Stavros merryandgave me a holy quest ..."

"Yeah, that's probably the concussion talking. Also, we should probably give you some room anyway. I'm pretty sure you crapped yourself at some point whilst you were unconscious so it might be an idea for you to get a fresh pair of underpants on."

Paradystopia 2-0 Zwangzug
Olii 4'
Message 90'+1

by **Recuecn** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 2:40 am

It was Rébecca Firaut’s birthday, and she burst into tears.

The television cameras that cluttered the Clituleng Giisost Stadium tracked her face immediately, zooming in and broadcasting her image to millions of viewers back home in Reçueçn and across the multiverse. Rébecca hid her face in her hands, but tears trickled down under her palms, and her shoulders rose and fell with great heaving sobs.

Her teammate, Héloïse Asselineau, came over, put her arm around her, and walked her off the field. Shutters snapped and cameras flashed like a miniature fireworks finale. In the background, Banijan fans—who greatly outnumbered the Reçuecian supporters here in Alaer—danced and celebrated. But as the stadium broke out into a high energy celebration, Rébecca could do nothing but hang her head and wipe away her tears with the back of her hand.

“Cheer up, Rébecca,” said Héloïse. “It’s just the first game. We can still make it.” Her tone was comforting. But as she finished speaking, her mind turned to the next two games, and she clenched her jaw. The outlook was grim. How was Reçueçn supposed to beat Tikariot at home?

However, hope was not yet dead. As the team gathered in the locker room for the post-match debrief, Rébecca seemed to be the only one taking it so hard. She had pulled herself together now, but tears still glistened in her eyes.

As for Héloïse, she struggled to pay attention to what Coach LeBouffe was saying. At the point he would normally have wrapped up his debrief with a hopeful conclusion, he droned on about how Banija was becoming a “bogey team” for Les Licornes, how it was very possible Reçueçn would have to play them again in the future, and how Reçueçn had to learn to keep its cool even when it bore a grudge… blah blah blah. Héloïse wasn’t listening. She kept glancing over at Rébecca, trying to figure out why she was still sniffling. Sure, it had been another decisive loss. Back-to-back beatings by Banija. But Héloïse couldn’t figure out what made it so emotional.

She saw Franky glancing at her as LeBouffe finally wrapped up his harangue. She gave him a nod, and turned to dig something out of her bag as he got up to address the team.

“Before you all hit the showers, there’s one more announcement we want to make,” he said. Franky looked around the room at his teammates, searching for encouragement. “Most of you know what I’m talking about of course, because we talked about this earlier. But hopefully this is a surprise for at least one person.” Franky turned to Rébecca. Her head was still bowed. “It’s a joy to play with every member of this team. But this past year has been really special. Sure, the World Cup hitting the triple digits is special. But what really made this year unique was getting to play alongside such a caring, genuine, talented, and mature teammate. And after all, it’s thanks to her that a lot of us are even able to be here at all.”

Héloïse got up and walked over to Franky to hand him a small gift bag. “Rébecca,” Franky said. “We all pooled some money together to buy you something special for your birthday. This is probably the last year that I’m gonna be on this team—me, or anyone else who’s still left from the Baptism of Fire, way back when. But with you and your leadership on the team, we’re all confident that the future of the ÉNRF is in good hands.”

Rébecca had looked up at the mention of her name, but as Franky concluded his little speech, tears began to run down her face again. She shakily accepted the gift bag from Franky, who seemed ill at ease, unsure how to handle an emotional teenager. “Happy birthday,” he said, awkwardly. “I, uh… hope you feel better.”

Rébecca burst out crying and ran from the room. Franky was left standing in the middle of the room. “Was it something I said?” he asked the team.

There was a hasty chorus of “no”s, but no one was quite sure what was wrong. “I’ll go talk to her,” said Gerauld, and went after her. “Oh, good,” said someone else, and everyone felt a bit better—surely Gerauld would know what to do. Franky and Héloïse, Rébecca’s two closest friends on the team, conferred in a whisper. “I don’t know what’s going on,” hissed Héloïse.

“Yeah, me neither,” said Franky.

Gerauld followed Rébecca further into the locker room complex, but she had gone into the women’s shower. Gerauld could hear the water running. He leaned against the tiled wall outside, and looked up at the ceiling.

“Honey?” he called. “You okay?”

“Go away, dad,” yelled Rébecca. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m just worried about you, ma chérie. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but let me know how I can be there for you, okay?” Gerauld paused. “I’ll let you be, mon bijou. Je t’aime.” He began to walk away. He could still hear the running water of the shower echoing in the weird, resonant acoustics of the locker room.

So he didn’t expect it when Rébecca came running out, wrapped in a towel. Her bare feet slapped loudly on the tile floor, splashing water away from her. She charged toward him, almost knocking him down with a tight, wet, bear hug. Gerauld would have laughed had he not seen the look on her face. “Oh, ma chérie,” he repeated, and he held her close to him. She buried her face in his shoulder.

“I don’t want you to go, Papa!” she sobbed.

Gerauld sensed that she wasn’t referring to merely leaving the room. “What? What are you talking about?”

Rébecca’s breath was coming in big heaving gasps now, but her story tumbled out all at once. “All my life I only ever wanted one thing. You were my hero. I always looked up to you, and I wanted to do what you did. They told me I couldn’t—that I wasn’t allowed—and you were the only one who believed in me. I trained my whole life to play the same game that you do, and when that wasn’t enough, I had to campaign, protest, and take to the streets. And through all that, you were the one who supported me.”

“But Rébecca, you won! You won Reçuecian women the right to join the équipe nationale! Aren’t you living your dream now? You can play!”

“I didn’t just want to play,” she cried. “I wanted to play with you, Papa!”

Gerauld felt a lump in his throat. He hugged his daughter closer, mindless of the water dripping down his jersey as he caressed the back of her head. Rébecca pulled back to look up at him.

“Ever since I was four and you gave me that soccer ball, it’s been my dream to be on the same team as you. And now it feels like as soon as I got here, you’re going to… to retire. I know this is the last tournament you’ll play in, and it’s not going to last that long. With every game we play, we just get closer and closer to the moment that you’ll quit the team and I’ll be left here all by myself. Without you, without Franky… everything I ever worked or fought for, gone. I love you, Papa. Don’t leave me.”

Gerauld’s eyes were brimming with tears too now. “Rébecca, my dearest. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be at every single one of your games, I promise. You are going to have a long, bright career ahead of you, and you don’t need me to hold your hand anymore. You’re a strong, brave girl, and it’s going to be okay.”

“I know,” whimpered Rébecca. “But it’s not going to be the same.”

And to that, Gerauld had nothing to say, because he knew she was telling the truth.

by **Banija** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 6:47 am

All-Banija Sports Magazine

"Revenge Achieved" - Banijans move past World Cup 99 with a thrilling 3-0 victory to kick off the Centennial World Cup

ALAER, KYTLER PENINSULAE- Being drawn in the same group as a team that beat you, on home soil, in the last World Cup, in Qualifying, was always a chance to move past World Cup 99. The tournament was largely seen as a failure from the Banijan standpoint- just 1 win in 4 games on home soil, only a lone goal scored across all three group stage matches, and the NT making barely more than a whimper of an impact. The smallest possible ripple effect. It was an ugly tournament, despite getting out of the group stages. We have been looking to move on from that for a while- a very public failure, at a home World Cup, is a tough thing to move past. Especially when the last one we hosted was 16 tournaments ago- it had been 2 full generations of players since we had brought the tournament to home soil. Who knows when the next one is coming to Banija- or if, indeed, it'll ever come back to Banija at all?

Can be tough to overcome. ARC V was a partial recovery- we got 4 wins from 4 in the group stages, and made a run all the way to the Final, only to fall to Farfadillis in an insane, 5-4 ARC V Final. And then, in World Cup Qualifying, we had Reçueçn in our group- one of the teams that beat us in World Cup 99. We beat them twice in Qualifying- although, instead of revenge for that tournament, controversies between the two nations regarding Robel Ezera, and then Abahamba in general, were overshadowing their matchups. We went to their house, and crushed them, 5-1, on the final day of Qualifying. And then, boom, very next competitive match- we're playing Reçueçn at the World Cup. In a group with both teams that beat us at World Cup 99. "A fortunate opportunity- a chance here, to erase the demons of World Cup 99, put that fully behind us, and focus fully on the road ahead." Said the captain, Layvin Son-Saka, ahead of the match. And boy- were the Banijans ready.

At ARC V, they scored tons of goals. in World Cup Qualifying, they were electrifying going forward. But the attack was piss poor at World Cup 99- could they get it done here? And, on this day, it was an emphatic yes, as Trischuk guided his charges to killing the haunting ghosts of World Cup 99. Might have been one of the best games Banija has played in a number of cycles. In the 35th minute, a turnover in midfield forced by Owole suddenly started a Banijan counter-attack. With the ability to play in transition, he played a pass forward to Yob Banda- who's immediate, powerful backheel pass, timed perfectly, sent Muhangi Wentibwa flying down the right side of the pitch. It had left the opposing defenders chasing, as the last defender had to choose between going after the ball or marking Resnais-Mahama- an impossible choice. Eventually, he committed, but as soon as he did, Wentibwa made a great sideways pass to Resnais-Mahama, who was far enough ahead of the chasing defenders where he had enough time to take a touch, and blast one towards the upper right hand corner. The sliding defender trailing was far too late, and the shot too powerful and accurate for the opposing keeper to do anything about it- that made the score 1-0 to the Banijans.

The two teams would go into the break with that scoreline, but Banija clearly having the better go at it. 59% possesion, 4 shots on target, compared to just 1 for Reçueçn. "We were knocking on the door- and their veteran keeper had a fantastic first half." Trischuk told reporters after the game. "But we had been rolling, and we had gotten a goal to give us confidence- I told the players to keep going, keep the confidence up, and be clinical- we've got to be ruthless about putting opponents to bed." And the Banijans, in the second half, did just that. No changes, things were going well. No changes at all- all 11 starters played the entirety of the 90 minutes. He wasn't going to take any risks at disrupting anything, and it was a decision that ended up paying off.

In the 62nd minute, the Banijans doubled their lead- the second goal coming courtesy of the captain, Layvin Son-Saka. After a long spell of possesion, he was able to find a pocket of space in the box, and fire a shot towards the low, opposite corner- traveling through bodies, it was simply a shot that the keeper couldn't see until it was far too late. And it was the Banijan centerback who would put a bow on it, with Kanyago Rouse-Jurun heading home a free kick in the 76th minute. The Banijans were on cruise control now, and they celebrated their 3-0 victory. "A tremendous victory, showing that the last World Cup- the last two World Cups, really, are behind us." Said the team captain, Layvin Son-Saka. "The Centennial edition is a new tournament, and we have removed the shackles of recent poor past performances at the World Cup Finals. Now, we've shown proof of concept against high level competition- we've got to continue that form."

While the focus for many was on World Cup 99, 98 was absolutely worse- just 1 point in 3 games. Banija's worst ever World Cup Finals performance. So that means, at the last two World Cups, colossal failures- one of them, we were ranked 8th in the world, and the other, was at home. Combined? 7 games- we won 1, lost 4, and drew 2. And our one win, laboring to a 1-0 group stage win at home. Some recent trauma- a lot of it excised by this performance. "Quite simply, not a great mentality was building surrounding this team- and at least on this day, they seemed to have moved past it." Said a Banijan TV commentator. "Remind the world that Banija is still Banija, and now, everyone knows what we are capable of."

The biggest challenges, however, remain. Next up- Tikariot. They beat us on home soil- can we return the favor? They are in the top 5 and early tournament favorites, and in their opener, they showed everybody why they are tournament favorites, as they crushed Stewartika, 4-0, to start the tournament. "They are a popular pick to win the Centennial edition of this tournament for a reason- they are elite everywhere, have depth, and are at home." Said the same commentator. "If you want 3 points against them, you might need a near perfect game. That said, with the good opening day performance for the Banijans, and general expectations, pressure is low on the Kadongo Kamu. They'll be hungry to prove themselves against a top opponent- you'll likely see far more risk taking than you generally would, when a team ranked 19th takes on a team ranked 4th away from home. Can someone be the hero of what would certainly be an all-time Banijan World Cup upset?"

We shall see indeed. All eyes on Creighton Park!

by **Busoga Islands** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 7:41 am

Ulus Talay, the Busogan goalkeeper, in the 44th minute

"Oy- come on, ref! That's a terrible call!" The Busogan players were berating the Kitaran referee, but to no avail. A tough, tight, controversial moment- one of those that get amplified when Fajkat Balli had to makr a player like Járngrímur Náttúlfsso, the Graentfjall-Pasarga dual-national. It was a close one, although definitely in the box. He had gotten the ball with his back towards the goal, posted up against a defender. He had faked left, and had attempted to turn right, and seemed to get some space. Balli reached out, and seemed to maybe touch his jersey? Pull him down. The striker had enough of a resistance to be slowed down ever so slightly, even though Balli then let go and tried to step in front of him to maintain position. But the referee was in perfect position to see the tug- one that might have seemed innocuous at first glance, but at this glance, it was a penalty.

The players were arguing intensely- and Afassiv Mansur, the other Busogan center back, received a yellow card for dissent. Talay was pretty PO'd himself. It didn't look like a penalty to him- a soft call to make in a 0-0 game, at the freaking World Cup of all places. But the 33 year old wasn't much of an arguer. The veteran goalkeeper walked up to the referee after a lot of the arguing. "Come on, sir, that was a weak call- you're not at least going to look at that?" In reference to VAR. The referee gave him a warning that any further dissent would be met with a yellow card, so Talay went back to his line. The Islanders were certainly not masters of the dark arts, even if they were a defensively minded team- although, in fairness to observers, they had been scoring goals like crazy throughout World Cup Qualifying. Over 3 per game- a tremendous record, a surprising one for a team that wasn't even anywhere near World Cup 99.

But here, the mind games were on. Dibahari, the team's captain, was having an extended conversation with Járngrímur Náttúlfsso, the Pasargan star striker and penalty taker. An attempt to get in his head. No stomping on the PK spot or anything- that, of course, was bush league. But Dibahari certainly was trying to get in his opponent's head. Talay smiled briefly as there were a few players around the taker on each side, trying to clear the path. The referee finally got players out of the way, and allowed the player to place the ball on the penalty spot. Talay was focused. The veteran keeper was an often criticized player- he never wanted to leave his hometown, turning down multiple S-FPL offers to stay at Dukuma Sporting Club, in the 2nd tier. Many said that he lacked ambition, had the raw talent, but not the drive, to fill his potential.

It was criticism that he ignored early in his career, but now that he was firmly in the second half of his career, it was criticism that bothered him, increasingly, by the year. He was the #1 for club and country- hell, this was his second World Cup! Who cares that Dukuma SC couldn't seem to get anywhere near promotion, no matter what they tried. There was intrinsic value in staying near home. In staying in his hometown, in playing for the club he rooted for as a kid. And now, playing for his country, on this stage. It was his time. It was his moment. Járngrímur Náttúlfsso looked at the referee, who blew the whistle. He took his direct run up, and blasted one towards the keeper's left- but Talay was all over it, getting a big hand to it and making the save. His defender was first to it, and blasted the ball upfield.

"LET'S GO ULUS!" His defender yelled at him, hugging him. Talay had possibly the moment of his career- saving a penalty at the World Cup- but he was looking down the field, as play was continuing.

"Go, get forward- they're still playing!" Talay yelled at him. Mansur stopped hugging him and started jogging forward- but way downfield, the Islanders were on a counter-attack. They had four to five guys flying, and the Pasargans were caught flat-footed- the Busogans had numbers. Sesay had lofted a cross at the 18, and he saw Isa Kujabi Jr. unmarked on the receiving- who headed down and into the back of the net, for a 1-0 lead for the Busogans. What a turn of events. "LET'S GO!!!" He yelled, sticking by his goal, pumping up the Busogan fans behind him. Islander fans were in shock - the Qualifying campaign was insane, but that was Qualifying. To take the lead against Pasarga, at a World Cup? Ulus was ecstastic at the role he had played in that goal- and felt determined to ensure that meant the Islanders got the result that they wanted.

The Lakiska Daily

"Let's Shock the World" - Busogans stun the Pasargans, 3-1, to kick off World Cup 100

TYDEBWG, KWRPANIA- For the Centennial Edition of the World Cup, we are going to be looking for big-time special moments. The Busogans, after missing out on World Cup 99, stormed to World Cup 100, dominating their Qualifying group- going unbeaten, with 15 wins and a draw. Nothing might beat Busoga's first ever World Cup game, where we beat a top 10 opponent, who was also a World Cup host, at World Cup 98. But this one- this comes close. Despite our domination of our group, the Pasargans also ran through their group- plus, they are Pasarga. Talent levels much higher. Base is higher- they have their own domestic league, unlike our country, who are part of the Banijan pyramid. And, most importantly, they've got that star on their patch. So for us to win- a legitimately stunning result.

The sequence in the 2nd minute of first half stoppage time, might live on Busogan lore forever. Weak penalty given. Penalty saved. Busogans counter- and a headed goal from Kujabi Jr., who is a legacy player on this NT- his father was also a member of this team. "I mean, the fan reactions after that moment... I haven't seen anything like that." Said a Busogan TV commentator. "The watch parties in Lakiska... From sadness to ecstasy in the span of what- 10 seconds? 15 seconds? Just an explosion of energy, noise, and belief- if we could get forward like that, were we capable of pulling off what would be another all-time upset at the World Cup?"

And indeed, on this day, it seemed as if the Busogans were actually capable of this upset. 2nd minute of stoppage time in the first half, and in the second half, we were scoring in the 50th minute- this time, courtesy of Ayben Uzun, to make it 2-0 to our NT. It was a stunner- Pasargan faces were stunned, Busogan were stunned as well- although their faces were also lit up with excitement. It was, truly, one of the most incredible moments that the country had ever seen. While Bogdan Laszlo pulled one back in the 72nd minute, it was our swashbuckling counter-attacking game that would put them to the sword, with Erdal Aydin, a central midfielder who came off the bench, putting the finishes touches on a legendary upset in the 87th minute.

"This team has always been far more capable than many thought we could be- and this game, is proof of concept." Said Emeline Millet, the team's manager. "If we defend well and cohesively, we can turn defense into offense at the snap of a finger- and we are one of the more dangerous teams in transition in this tournament. We have our path to victory- and we showed everybody that on this very day." Showed everyone that, indeed. But the games don't get any easier- the Busogans aren't favorites in any of their 3 group games, and so now, we will have an equally large challenge- this time, against Kwrpania, who are World Cup co-hosts, at their very own National Stadium. They are coming off of a tough 1-1 draw to open the group at the same stadium.

"Look, with Kwrpania's opening draw, even a point here for the Islanders might be enough to punch them into the next round." Said a TV commentator. "With 3rd place safety valve, 4 points should be enough to push them through. But that said, since the hosts drew on Matchday 1, they might be more desperate here on MD2, especially since they've got Pasarga in the last game. So expect them to be even more dangerous- they're gonna try anything and everything, to make sure they aren't on the outside looking in headed into Matchday 3- which is a terribly high pressure place for a co-host to be on the final day of the group stages." And that, naturally, is very true. Millet will certainly have her hands full- but she'll be ready.

She's not going to make any changes to a team that has played so well, for so long. But expect, with the crowd against them and Kwrpania expected to be on the front foot, a similar plan that they had against Pasarga- sit back, cede possesion, but be ready to blitz forward and take your chances. The finishing was clinical on this day- 5 shots on target, and 3 of them ended up in the back of the net. It's the same kind of finishing they'll need against Kwrpania. They are going to be on the front foot, so the pressure will be on our back 4- Bota, Mansur, Balli, and al-Hassan, to keep their range of attackers at bay. "We may not be household names- but rest assured, we can get after it." Afassiv Mansur, the CB, told reporters. "They have a dizzying array of attacking talent, yes, but we will be fully and thoroughly prepared for all challenges."

by **Aphrilia** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 7:43 am

Everytime when she plays on the field, it's exhilarating. As if she's free to do whatever she wants to do.

Well, not totally free. Of course, there's the fact that she has to play with her team, but it's liberating to be able to make decisions during play that's for the benefit of the team itself. For the longest time, her anger had been... Misjudged, misplaced. And now though, as she has been given the chance, every game she proves that providing her the opportunity was no bad decision. Even if a few certain individuals had been somewhat worried considering her past actions, she won't let those slip-ups define her. Yes, she was her own person.

She wouldn't fall into those pit-falls that many people tend to. She knew that she was better than this, and every match, every touch of the ball, every moment on the field, she would prove as such. Even those who were reluctant at first finally opened up. Even those who doubted her had started to also believe in her. So why did it feel like something was so off...? She's having the time of her life, right? Of course she was! She was playing at the World Cup, a dream that not many are able to accomplish! So then why did she feel th-

And then she shot up out of bed, realization dawning on her. She knew why.

Hannah Morgan-Keynes knew what that feeling was. Why her anger had been there, all the way back then. She... She never really apologized for what she said, didn't she? Looking around, it was quite early in the morning. Aphrilia did just beat Kimi-Suomi to kick off their World Cup campaign, and everyone was currently resting at the moment. They'll have to head to Alcassar for the match against HOT-DAMN, before going back here in Morannon against Ko-oren. It was early morning, and her roommate in Ellie Saunders was still well asleep.

Today was to rest up before they started training and preparing for the match against HOT-DAMN. They had finally lost their winning streak to Ko-oren, which meant that they will very likely be determined to do their utmost against Aphrilia. Letting Ellie continue to sleep, Hannah just proceeded to prepare for the day. Maybe she'll head out and check what Tikariot has to offer. Bath, casual set of clothes, cleaning up, the whole shebang. As she did so, Ellie woke up due to the commotion, clearly still sleepy. She did play in the match against Kimi-Suomi as a substitute, and it was a more intense match than usual. "Morning, Hannah... Already up and ready?" The younger girl asked, still in a doozy.

"Yeah. I have something I need to do." Hannah responded, as she sent some messages on her phone. If she doesn't do this now, she'll never be able to do this later. And not only that, it was better to rip-off the band-aid sooner than later. She can apologize to the rest of those who were there later, for now, the ones most involved will have to do. "Alright, good luck... I'll be down later." Ellie said, still snuggling with her blanket. Hannah just shrugged it off as she left her room. Some breakfast would do wonders right now.

The breakfast was pretty good, all things considered. No more comments needed.

Hannah had been waiting for quite a while, and honestly, it was starting to make her nervous and whatnot. Were they as nervous as she was? Truthfully, Hannah wasn't expecting a response from either three, but one of them actually did respond and said that they could. 'Maybe it was useless having any hope... Not like I expected any forgiveness after a few years anyway.' Internally she thought. Hannah was putting herself down, as she scrolled on social media, seeing the reception about the match between Aphrilia and Kimi-Suomi.

Oh yeah, how'd that go? Well, Aphrilia won 2-1. Kimi-Suomi's Eagle Owls scored first, with Ebba Persson scoring the first goal. A well done team effort allowed Persson into Aphrilia's half with the ball, and score past Phillip Karnwell on the 17th minute in the game. Of course in hindsight, Karnwell was never really that good in head-to-head encounters, but other than that, it was a great goal. Fortunately, The Anchors struck back on the 34th minute of the match, with the usual antics of Ines Forrestal going wide before cutting inside and curling it past Alexander Ekdal. Everyone saw it coming and you could tell, as by this point it's her signature move, no denying that at all.

The second half saw Aphrilia take the lead around the 52nd minute, after substitutions had been made. Hendrick Meyer-Bertrand made use of his well roundedness to get past two defenders with ball control just good enough to make sure he got into the box, before kicking it high as he fell forward on his side. The ball hit the crossbar before bouncing into the net. It wasn't a beautiful goal by any means, but he and Kevin Lacey had proven throughout Aphrilia's campaign that you don't need beauty to get the job done.

That was primarily what happened. Aphrilia then proceeded to defend the lead, ensuring the three points. To Hannah, overall, the match was a good showing considering she was the one who provided the pass to Hendrick before he went on that run. The fans certainly seem to agree so, as they're happy with the result. But there's no way this team is getting complacent. In fact, it's very likely their training will only get tougher from here on out. Anyway... Hannah was just about to leave before she saw them.

Alexander Burns, Jessica Rhine-Faust, and Theresa Villa all had an odd expression on their faces.

Alex had a face of contempt, while Jessica seemed to be... Satisfied? She seemed in a good mood at the very least. On the other hand, Theresa looked to be drawing blanks in her mind. Were they talking about being asked to talk? Maybe. Or perhaps it's something else. Hannah called them out, signaling to them where she was as Jessica said they'd grab some breakfast at the same time. This was it, wasn't it? Sometimes she still can't look at them, especially considering what Hannah had said back then.

After some time, the three sat down with her. There was some small talk, even if the air was somewhat tense. Finally, someone broke the ice, and of course it was Jessica. "So Hannah... What did you call us for? Honestly didn't expect anything serious this morning." The team captain spoke, with Alex just nodding along. He was the one who responded, seems like he convinced the other two for this. Theresa meanwhile was glancing around, not out of nervousness but rather from boredom? Didn't seem like it, but Hannah wouldn't prod.

"I... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. For my outburst back then. Truthfully, I... I was beyond angry back then, when some of us were picked for the national team for seemingly no reason... When Vermont made those call-ups, I thought he was rash. In hindsight, the call was perhaps right, I think. But, uhm, I'm still mad to this day the way he announced it just like that. I think he deserved to be sacked in the end but back to the main point. Jessica, Alex, I'm sorry for the outburst. And Theresa... I... I'm sorry for lashing out at you like that. You didn't deserve it, no one deserved to be there when it happened... I should have been better. And I promise that I'll apologize to everyone else, and that I'll do better."

A few tears slipped out of her eyes. It hurts, apologizing after so long. But she was a tough girl, her mother told her. She had to do this and only then she can move on. Alex looked a bit bewildered at all of this, and Jessica had a smile on her face while Theresa seemed to be thinking about all of it. "I forgave you, Hannah, back then. And I forgive you now. Maybe it's because I'm the captain, or maybe it's because I know your words are genuine. I can tell you've grown, so I forgive you." Jessica spoke, being the first to respond. It was Alex who then spoke up next. "Yeah, if Jess forgives you," he said before being nudged by Jessica for calling her that. "ow-, I forgive you too then. I think you're cool, you've been a good team player. Let bygones be bygones, they tend to say." Alex finally finished. Hannah breathed a sigh of relief, hearing what the two said.

On the other hand, Theresa seemed to still be in thought. Maybe it was still too soon? She did seem like someone who took insults and whatnot to a personal level. Hannah wouldn't blame her, she treated Theresa terribly at that moment. Jessica and Alex gave a glance to the forward, while Hannah waited with an anxious sigh to see what Theresa had to say. Finally, she spoke. "I... I accept the apology, Hannah. I understand why you were angry. But you have to prove to me that you've changed, at least for now." Hannah nodded at those words, before Theresa added on. "But one thing has been nagging me all this time, even back then. What you said about me... How did you know I was a teñvana?"

Alex had a moment of his face having a surprised expression, while Jessica immediately went into deep thought. They seemed nervous the moment Theresa's true nature was brought up, perhaps they were finally in the know after multiple attempts of snooping around and trying to figure it out. Hannah remembered then, when she said that. She had realized what she had said back then, accidentally revealing what Theresa was. Fate likely intervened due to the fact it never went out. Hannah looked around, before sighing once more.

A massive slip-up from the past haunts her now. But she'll tell the truth now. She can hide no more.

by **Crpostran** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 7:58 am

by **Zwangzug** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 8:02 am

(OOC: Source for Accurate Penguin Facts is "The Worst Journey in the World" by Apsley Cherry-Garrard, highly recommended.)

Suppose that playing minus five's your aim.
All-out defense, sit on the ball and wait.
Who would be good role models in this game?
Which side would be the best to emulate?

Well, generations past, before our time
There were some Penguins famous for their Rage.
We don't know if they're from a southern clime,
The Paradystopi birds of this age,

But we've heard tell of birds from southern latitudes,
Who are, while comical, not all that bright.
Possessive of their eggs, their only attitudes
Are to sit on them through the polar night.

But if they do not have an egg to hatch
What will they do in, say, a football match?

They'll settle for whatever they can get
As long as it is relatively spherical.
And does a football have this shape? You bet.
So it's neither surprising or a miracle

That they should be system karela's master.
They sure do know how to control possession,
Sitting and willing the clock to tick faster,
Which caused our fans a wee bit of depression.

After eighty-five minutes of this mess
Their player-manager scored with his head
Which caused everyone a fair bit of stress
Because it briefly looked like he was dead.

It's unbecoming to bemoan the score
If your counterpart's drawing breath no more.

But turns out, he was living after all
And we're all very glad that he's alive
So we can get back to playing football
And griping about their team's minus five.

So when you're tempted to invoke self-pity
Because your team got beat by other jocks
Or trains are running late within your city
Be glad that you're not sitting on some rocks

That you've mistaken for your unhatched child,
And are not threatened by a polar bear
Who poses, in the frigid, distant wild,
Riddles about the color of its hair.

Life may be hard, but it's probably nice
Next to that of the penguins on the ice.

by **Flavovespia** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 9:19 am

World Cup 91: Retrospective

MD1 Juvencus H 0 2,
MD2 Gadria A 0 1, Hall 92’
MD3 Forbidden Territories H 2 1, Bagshaw 4’, Coleman 8’
MD4 Starblaydia A 3 1, Cole 90’
MD5 Savojarna H 3 1, Cole 22’, 39’, Bagshaw51’
MD6 Turori A 2 1, Bagshaw 92’
MD8 New Folgore H 2 0, Clark 64’, Bagshaw 71’
MD9 Metherwoll A 0 4, Cole 7’, Coleman 24’, Bagshaw 70’, Hall 86’
MD10 Wreckeria H 2 0, Coleman 41’, Cole 45’, Lyons(RC) 86’
MD11 The 14 Stars A 2 2, Cole 16’, Jones 92’
MD12 Juvencus A 1 1, Bagshaw 28’
MD13 Gadria H 4 3, Player 6’, Cole 12’ 42’, Coleman 20’
MD14 Forbidden Territories A 0 4, Jones 68’, Bagshaw 72’, Cole 75’, 84’
MD15 Starblaydia H 2 1, Jones 17’, 42’, Blythe (RC) 83’
MD16 Savojarna A 0 0,
MD17 Turori H 2 1, Jones 47’, Bagshaw 72’
MD19 New Folgore A 0 1, Jones 2’
MD20 Metherwoll H 3 0, Cole 21’, 35’, 68’
MD21 Wreckeria A 1 4, Own Goal 37’, Bagshaw 64’, Cole 90’, Coleman 95’
MD22 The 14 Stars H 4 1, Cole 6’ 87’, Cookson 47’, Totten 61’

-  Group 14                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Flavovespia                      19   13   3   3    39   18  +21    42
 2 Turori                           19   13   2   4    41   21  +20    41
 3 Juvencus                         19   12   3   4    47   30  +17    39
 4 Starblaydia                      19   11   3   5    38   30   +8    36
 5 Wreckeria                        19   10   2   7    46   30  +16    32
 6 The 14 Stars                     19    8   3   8    32   39   −7    27
 7 Forbidden Territories            19    8   3   8    17   25   −8    27
 8 Savojarna                        19    6   5   8    26   22   +4    23
 9 Metherwoll                       20    7   1  12    18   29  −11    22
10 New Folgore                      19    2   1  16    23   53  −30     7
11 Gadria                           19    1   2  16    16   46  −30     5

MD1 Adab N 1 0, Bagshaw 58’
MD2 The Holy Empire N 2 5, Jones 35’, Cole 42’
MD3 Nephara N 1 0

Group D                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Nephara                      3   3  0  0    9   5  +4    9
2 The Holy Empire              3   1  1  1   10   8  +2    4
3 Flavovespia                  3   1  0  2    3   6  −3    3
4 Adab                         3   0  1  2    6   9  −3    1

World Cup 91, the cycle Flavovespia broke into the biggest stage of them all. At attempt number nine, they finally qualified, no playoffs needed as they won their group. It seemed like a Group of Death, with Turori, Juvencus, Starblaydia, Savojarna, The 14 Stars, even the smaller sides were no pushovers. Flavovesoia lost 3 of their opening 6 games, but those were their sole losses. Halfway in they were 4th, 5 points off top and 3 off 2nd. But such a competitive group meant one team on a good run would be well placed. And Flavovespia did that. The penultimate Matchday saw them win 1-4 in Wreckeria, but with Turori losing 4-3 at The 14 Stars, Flavovespia knew a win over The 14 Stars would send them to the World Cup. They were tied 1-1 at the break, but a first goal for Stuart Cookson restored the lead, Robert Totten scored, and Michael Cole sealed the deal. Jubilation across the nation, Flavovespia were finally going to a World Cup.

World Cup 91 was Flavovespia’s first foray into the big stage, still just a 32 team tournament. Flavovespia debuted against Adab, and showed they belonged here. A competitive game saw Jonathan Bagshaw produce a winning goal to start Flavovespia on a high. A 2-5 loss for Flavovespia against The Holy Empire was a humbling experience, but all was not lost. Flavovespia had a chance of a knockout stages appearance if they could defeat Nephara. Alas Nephara were too strong, and the 1-0 result ended Flavovespia’s first appearance at a World Cup in the group stages. Still, a watershed moment for Flavovespia, who had found a recipe for success.

This was Augusto Rinaldi making himself known. The direct 4-3-3 was working wonders for Flavovespia. A deep back line that was hard to breach, and an ever present threat of a counter attack. Michael Cole was a star in attack, on the left wing or down the middle. Jonathan Bagshaw was looking every bit a generational talent for Flavovespia. Other names were now key, Aarif Muhammad, David Lyons, Stuart Cookson and Kieron Player. And Steven Hall, Scott Coleman and Tony Gardner all finally reached a World Cup. This was the cycle Flavovespia came out of their nest and entered hitherto unknown territory, looking onwards and upwards.

by **Pyazhnaya** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 10:57 am

The Draw That Felt Like Victory (and the Kwrpan Pronunciation Challenge II)

PART 1 — CELEBRATING THE 2–2 MIRACLE AGAINST BAKER PARK
Santa Mordana, late evening, or early morning, depending on where you're coming from. A gentle ocean breeze rolls over the promenade as the team bus pulls into the Pyazhnayan complex, but the fans don't care, drenching the entrance area in teal and maroon. The players step out, sweaty, exhausted, but glowing like they’ve just stolen the crown jewels.

Danila Terentyev climbs right on top of the bus, waving a towel above his head.

Terentyev: WE DID IT! WE DIDN’T DIE! WE DIDN’T LOSE! WE ARE KINGS! Okay, maybe like small kings. Princelets. Something like that.

Mukhametshin: Brother, that was the 28th-ranked team in the multiverse. We crawled back from 2–0 down. We may be princelets, but we’re princelets with rage, and rage is good.

Akhatova: (laughing) Rage and zero positional discipline for the first 30 minutes.

Vyrypayeva: THEY WERE SO FAST. Like. Actually fast. Like “why do they have four lungs” fast.

The team files out of the bus. The hotel staff looks warily at the sea of fans parting like the Red Sea. One of them quietly records the whole thing on his phone for AuraCast because Pyazhnayans have become the tournament’s new Cheering Chaos Goblins™.

The chat notifications explode.

Khamidullina: Guys, we’re trending again.
#PyazhMagic
#PyazhMiracle
#PyazhAlmostDidNotEmbarrassThemselves

Terentyev: That last one feels personal.

Rybalkin: It is.

Coach Agratova walks in, composed as always, though there’s a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Agratova: Good work today. Tomorrow is recovery day. No drinking, no clubs, no—
(She looks directly at the Danilas)
—no activities involving inflatable pool accessories.

Both Danilas freeze like misbehaving cats.

Mukhametshin: …Define “inflatable.”

Agratova's sigh turns into a groan.

---

PART 2 — ZUBOVA VS GOLOBAYOV: ROUND… SEVEN? EIGHT? WHO KNOWS
The next morning, a press zone is set up just outside the Santa Mordana training complex. Simona Zubova and Rodion Golobayov stand in front of a wall of microphones. The tension is so thick it could legally be classified as an atmospheric hazard.

The journalists are vibrating in anticipation.

Zubova: (cold smile) I will be blunt. A 2–2 draw does not excuse disorder. It does not excuse a lack of professionalism. It does not excuse—
(She gestures vaguely at everything)
—whatever this national team has become.

Golobayov lifts his eyebrows with the serenity of a man who has survived six coup attempts, three committee votes, and two grill parties at the Danilas’ apartment.

Golobayov: What this national team has become, Simona?
A force.
A story.
A symbol of unity.
People love them. People follow them. People—
(he gestures at the distant city streets, where horns can be faintly heard)
—are literally throwing mini-parades even here!

Zubova scoffs.

Zubova: Parades? Parades don’t win World Cups.
Standards win World Cups.

Golobayov: Passion wins World Cups.

Zubova: Structure wins World Cups.

Golobayov: Spirit wins World Cups.

Zubova: Order wins World Cups.

Golobayov: Chaos wins World Cups!

Silence. Even the journalists pause. That sentence might be the most Pyazhnayan thing ever uttered.

From somewhere behind, a voice:

Mukhametshin (off-camera): WE’RE CHAOS!
WE’RE READY FOR DESTRUCTION!
WE’RE LIKE—
(Pause)
—like tactical raccoons!

The journalists immediately spin around.

A player is live-streaming the entire argument on AuraCast.
Who?
Who else?

Terentyev: (narrating dramatically into the phone) And here we observe the rare political mating dance of Zubovus Committee-Harpyius and Golobayovius Stubborn-Old-Manicus—

Agratova (off-camera): TERENTYEV, STOP.

He does not stop.

PART 3 — SANTA MORDANA: THE DAY OFF STREAM
Later that same day, the team straps on their GoPros, live on AuraCast, and stampedes out of the hotel into Santa Mordana’s old colonial streets.

The city instantly becomes a carnival.

Akhatova and Rybalkin challenge locals to beach volleyball
Khamidullina buys sunglasses so big they have their own gravitational pull
Bryzgalov accidentally joins a salsa class and nearly becomes part of a wedding procession
Vyrypayeva is followed by a flock of seagulls that simply like her energy

Meanwhile, the Danilas:

Terentyev: BROTHER, LET US RACE THROUGH THE WAVES LIKE ANCIENT HEROES!

Mukhametshin: YES! LIKE POSEIDON!
(He sprints toward the ocean. A wave instantly smacks him in the face.)

Akhatova: (filming) And this is our centre forward, ladies and gentlemen. Fear him.

A hot dog vendor recognizes them and refuses to accept payment.

Vendor: You tied 2–2 against Baker Park! You’re heroes!

Vyrypayeva: (tiny voice) I just passed the ball twice, though…

Vendor: Little one, you pressured their No. 6 like a tiger cornering a rabbit.

She turns bright red and nearly dissolves.

---

PART 4 — THE KWRPAN PRONUNCIATION CHALLENGE RETURNS
Even later that same day, the team regroups in a beach gazebo for a sunset stream with five participants sit in a row:
Mukhametshin, Terentyev, Akhatova, Vyrypayeva, and Khamidullina, the same quintet that had successfully (?) butchered Tydebwg before the playoff.

Agratova is off-camera with the list. Her voice carries the weary menace of a teacher who has taught this class too many times.

Word 1 — “Kwrpanmap” (capital)

Agratova: Begin.

Mukhametshin: Kworp… Kwur… KWRRRpanmop.

Terentyev: Sounds like someone dropped a keyboard down stairs.

Akhatova: It’s Kwr-pan-map.
See? Easy.

Vyrypayeva: (soft) It feels illegal to pronounce.

Khamidullina: Capital city? Yes? I rename it. I call it “Kevin.”

---

Word 2 — “Bomsygmwk” (stadium district)

Agratova: Next.

The group collectively inhales.

Mukhametshin: No.

Agratova: Yes.

Mukhametshin: Come on, this is just someone pulling random letters from a Scrabble bag!

Terentyev: Bom… Sig… MOO-K.
Bom-see-mook.
Boom-sig-muck.

Mukhametshin: Bomsig—
(a choking noise)
I think I swallowed a consonant.

Akhatova: It is “Bom-syg-mwk.”
Like… like that helps.

Vyrypayeva: It sounds like the noise Danila made when he got hit by the wave earlier.

---

Word 3 — “Bezbenpam” (city)

Khamidullina: This one… sounds like medicine.
“For headaches, take two Bezbenpams.”

The entire chat explodes.

Terentyev: Bez-bon… Pam…
Bezbempamp.

Mukhametshin: Bezh-bam-pom.
I think that’s a Pokémon.

Akhatova: It is “Bez-ben-pam.”
(beat)
But honestly? I agree. It sounds like aspirin.

Vyrypayeva: Doctor, I overdosed on Bezbenpam.

---

Word 4 — “Zonkwsed” (city)

Terentyev: Zong… kwess…
Zong-kissed?
Zombie-kissed?

Mukhametshin: MY FAVORITE CITY. ZOMBIE-KISSED.

Akhatova: It is “Zonk-wsed.”
The “kws” is one sound.
Somehow. Or maybe not?

Khamidullina: My tongue resigned.

---

Word 5 — “Tygnad” (city)

Everyone shivers because Tydebwg traumatized them.

Vyrypayeva: What's wrong with this one?

Agratova: What do you mean?

Vyrypayeva: It looks like an actual word.

Terentyev: Tigh… nad.
Tigg-nod.
Tee-gad.
Tugnad.

Mukhametshin: TIGER-NUT!

Akhatova: Stop. All of you.

Vyrypayeva: (quiet but deadly accurate) “Tyg-nad.”
Like it’s judging us.

Everyone stares at her.

Terentyev: How did YOU get it right??

Vyrypayeva:
(serious)
Because I fear Kwrpan language.
And fear sharpens the senses.

by **Aleirave** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 1:15 pm

Open Your Eyes and Cry a Single Tear
The Ko-orenite Constellation 1-0 Aleirave

"So, let me get this straight..." Kalaio Pahoteka said at a meeting of the Provisional Council, "the Seagulls never stopped playing football under our name, and ran off to try and hide it from us?"
"Yep," Nikita Sarliev replied, "a blatant violation of Aleiravan law. You can't just be representing our island without the people supporting it... at that point, you aren't a national team, you're just some weird club side who decided to contest the World Cup for whatever reason."
"Nikita... what I was going to say was that this is genuinely cool! They're back! And they're in the World Cup again, maybe they aren't the bottlers we all thought they were!"
"You can't just ignore the law because it's 'cool'. That's not how anything--"

"I'm with Kalaio," Rafeka Apahata interjected, "national pride isn't always a bad thing. This is our team! They're still good! So what if they had to ignore a few laws to get it done... anyway, it sure looks like the Petake is on board... literally!" she said, noting that King William was clearly on the Wet Shit in the video that Ketereho posted.

"You're seriously going along with him again??" Nikita asked in disbelief.
"Yes." the other two said in unison.

Nikita clearly had enough of this shit, as every single time there had been a vote on something he considered stupid, these two numbskulls managed to outvote him. "You know this island is going to the seabirds, right? You're turning this council into a complete joke, and I have no clue why that idiot king ever thought you two morons could rule the island. Why the hell did he pick you two over Rotinov??"

"Because Rotinov doesn't understand how to have a good time, and that's the best part of Aleirave!" Haulafo said. "Gotta have some fun around here, am I right?"
"With all due respect, you have the mental maturity of a second-grader who wants the whole school day to be one giant recess. There is no universe where you should be on this council governing the island. Whatever you two are doing, please stop for the sake of respecting our island!"
"Erm... no." Kalaio said. "Anyway, watch party at my bar?"
"You're using the team's World Cup run as an excuse to make money at the bar rather than prosecuting Haulafo to the fullest extent of the law???"
"Shut up Nikita, you're being too much of a spoilsport!" Rafeka replied.

Nikita stormed out of the room, completely pissed about how little respect these two seemed to have for their jobs. Way too many meetings of the Provisional Council ended this way, but this one felt different to Sarliev. Yes, these two clearly didn't care much about their jobs, but now they were violating the law just for shits and giggles (and in Kalaio's case, even financial gain). What were these two thinking??

Kalaio's Beach Bar was a gathering place for Aleiravans of all walks of life. No matter who you were, what you did, or whether you even liked the Seagulls that much, Kalaio's Bar was the place to go. However, there was no night at Kalaio's quite like the night of an Aleirave football match. Whenever they weren't playing at the Old Grounds, this was the one place to watch, and you could not get a seat. That energy had been missing since the Squornshelous match and the team's exile, but now that the island had been made aware that yes, there were still Aleirave matches to be played, the vibes were back and better than ever. This was a populace that had waited far, far too long to see their team perform, and they were finally back.

Or... were they? Over in Qusmo, the Aleiravan team was battered and broken. After a grueling 17-match qualification campaign that came down to the final 30 minutes, after an entire year of playing with next to nobody backing them, and still being completely ignorant that there was anybody back home who cared... they were gassed. They couldn't keep doing this. They were here performing for nobody but Haulafo, and they were tired of trying to make him happy. The charisma was not there. There was no fire in their souls. This team was a team of 23 ghosts, with nothing left to play for.

There were no opportunities. They got embarrassed by bottom-seeded minnows, and their next match were the greatest team in the multiverse, who had just ruined their fun at the CAFA Cup half a year earlier. They were in the worst position they had been all cycle, and much as you might think the fans would give up on their team again at this disappointment... they didn't. They saw this performance, and in it they saw a team that desperately needed the love they'd been missing. They couldn't physically get to the matches, but there were still ways to show support.

"Aleirave... we can't let them think they've lost us." Kalaio said. "All we need to do is be there for them."

by **The Ko-orenite Constellation** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 2:15 pm

The Treaty of Dhidiyah. A landmark treaty that established a supranational council. At the time, a very useful addition and a huge step towards the legitimisation of the Constellation. But also: a decision taken under threat of Ko-oren retaking control of the Constellation, or one of the major member states taking a dominant position. The territories were supposed to be equals: a huge economy, a large population, visible soft power or a tough approach to hard power - it all wasn't supposed to give one territory a clear advantage over another one. The Dhidiyah treaty and its single council 'to rule them all' was the perfect equaliser, early enough in the Constellation's history that nobody had already assumed a dominant position over someone else.

But the cracks were showing.

The territories, simply said, weren't equal. Never had been - the Constellation was a project of a handful of the 'old guard', territories that were under Ko-oren's wing for decades, and then turned into a project of the loudest voices. As an organisation of meritocratic territories, it never was a problem that some territories were bigger: the best, the most apt, they're the ones that must take the position that comes most naturally to them. To most territories, this also implied a social contract - the strongest bear the heaviest weight - but this was't implied in the strictest definition of meritocracy.

As soon as the ink on the treaty of Dhidiyah was dry, there were coalitions of the willing looking for further integration in certain areas. There was an alliance of small states - those with small populations and small economies - that struggled to find its voice to impress the bigger kids on the schoolyard. There was a contentious forum of major powers, using their own exclusive definition of 'major' which included Mercatoren, Chanmingoren, Bandar Cang Prathoren, and Ndugutisaoren as core members, but which fell apart the first time they tried to take joint action. Turns out, those four were also the ones trying to vertically integrate other territories.

That's a fancy term for 'economically dominate'.

That came to a head when a Ndugutisaoren delegation and its massive IT industry were very, very interested in the rare earth metals in the soil of Taloren. As soon as early drafts of the bilateral treaty leaked, the forum disintegrated on the spot. Turns out, Bandar Cang Prathoren and Mercatoren were also very, very interested, and the exclusive nature of the treaty would leave them with virtually no room to compete. When it turned out that BCP had effectively tried to leverage the large populations of territories like Meia-Armadoren and Brabensia & Batavioren as immigrant workers, the other 'major powers' didn't like that either, also viewing those two places specifically as an easy target for cheap labour.

The Council established by the Dhidiyah treaty saw it all go down and found itself with few tools to handle the situation. It did place projects like 'economic unity' and 'fairness on the labour market' on the agenda, but those were too few and far between to strongarm the major territories into taking fairer action.

A new treaty was on the horizon, but the contents of said treaty were up for debate. The major powers wanted more economic integration - and therefore easy access to cheap material and labour to lower costs. The little guys wanted protection. The silent middle - which includes territories that are also in one of the other blocs - just wanted to further the meritocratic cause, progressive ecological policies, and better ways for people to realise their potential so that they're able to take important roles where their merit lets them - not hindered by the small size of the community they're from. You know, the thing that originally united the nations to begin with. That lofty goal was disappearing from view real fast. Where the Constellation once asked for bureaucrats to administer a growing community - it now, paradoxically, asked for a single great personality to remind everyone of their shared ideals.

That wasn't made easier by the fact that some territories were meritocratic in name and not much else - some were just part of it to not get gobbled up by larger regional powers, and committing to a few articles of a treaty that otherwise didn't require too much effort was an easy in. The Constellation hadn't managed to bring those territories any closer to their vision of the future.

That said, these were all things that could be managed with the right initiatives and projects. This was all exactly the Council's bread and butter - but they would have to get to work sooner rather than later.

by **Edsmontik** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 2:30 pm

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A SUPRISING DRAW AGAINST STRAYROOS: WHAT'S UP NEXT FOR THE EAGLES

Friday, 12/10/2032
Written by Seu Saz-Keltzar

Edsmontik's match against Strayaroos was a pretty rude awakening. The Eagles, who had been playing easier opponents thus far, now drew against a much tougher opponent. The match itself was held in Kwrpanmap, Kwrpania three hours prior to midnight in their time. Capital Stadium would also house a future Edsmon game, which would be against Valentine Z.

The game began with kickoff for the Eagles. Maartin Stuero was quick to deliver the ball into the Edsmon defense, where Benzor Norseden held the ball down. The Roosians moved forward, and the Eagles also advanced. It didn't take long before the Eagles began to clash with the Emus. Left and right, the birds battled for the ball, dodging each other's attacks and defending the ball whenever they got a hold of it.

Minutes ticked away, and the battle continued. Both teams were delivering blow after blow, but with no success. The Eagles' shots were all saved by Strayaroos' Reuqa. Likewise, the Emus couldn't get past Edsmontik's der-Stouiben.

The main reason for all of the excitement behind this game, however, were the insanely close but unlucky shots that happened in the second half.

The first insanely close chance happened right after halftime in the 50th minute during an Edsmon corner. Ghreksbvy fired the ball off into the box, where it was headed towards the net by Javarqa. However, Reuqa booted the ball out, where it was then deflected off of Majla, a Roosian defender. The ball bounced and was fired at net by Rehcikt, where the ball was yet again saved. This time, the ball went right to Wejikaj, who sent a cross right back into the box for Stuero, who landed a nicely placed header that was once again saved. Unfortunately, the three shots from the Edsmon side were all saved right there in that one corner.

"The ability of Reuqa to make all of these saves and in record time was honestly almost unbelievable. Everything was so insanely fast, in the span of maybe twenty seconds, and this man saved it all." Rehcikt told reporters post-match. "Even better as the penalty box was packed with players. I may not be on his team, but I have to congratulate him for all of that."

StrayaRoos had their own missed chances later on in the 74th minute. The first collection of shots was right after a penalty kick awarded to the Roosians. Edsmontik's Jervanois had made a badly timed tackle, giving away the penalty. Kerr's penalty shot soared directly at der-Stouiben, who blocked the shot but slipped on the grass, fumbling the ball. Luckily for the Eagles, Javarqa came in and attempted to clear it, but the clear was deflected by Kerr. The ball was then picked up by Kizani, who tried to get out of the box, but he lost a battle to Pewo, who fired a direct shot at goal. This shot ricocheted right off the crossbar and barely managed to sink into Elterhad der-Stouiben's hands after a bunch of pushing to get under the ball.

Unfortunately for both sides, the game was slowing down. As time ticked away, more and more shots on goal went down in the books as failed shots. Both sides were fighting for the potential final goal that would turn the tide and put them in front, but as the dying minutes approached, that became impossible.

The match ended as a draw, putting both teams in a fight for second place.

"NO WORDS FOR THEM": VIKTOR FRAGRAEIT COMMAND FULL FORCE AGAINST TERRORISTS IN TROSI

Saturday, 12/11/2032
Written by Jon der-Fjaen

Across the nation, families chanted just three words. MORTEIN. DER. TERRIONSTRIISKE. Death to the Terrorists. As the radical extremists burned down Trosi's infrastructure, kidnapped survivors, and killed police officers, there was no more standing around for Edsmontik. The same people that were holding rituals that involved "sacrificing Edsmon scum" must be eliminated to save the populace. The Declaeder had at this point waited too long.

Just last night, Viktor Fragraeit called in the press and announced that Edsmontik would now be diverting most resources to Trosi and South Trosi Province. He told families who were still in affected cities to stay strong and wait for help. With Edsmon forces having already been mobilized since the break of dawn, there's now little chance that these terrorists could stand against Edsmon forces.

It is now sunset in Edsmontik, and based on collected information and recordings that have been released from the first invasion earlier in the day at 6:30AM, Edsmontik has taken many of the terrorists that had built a blockade hostage. The atrocities that these terrorists, both men and women admit that they committed are not to go without notice. Many of these acts were so disgusting that Viktor Fragraeit has changed his mind and will now no longer allow these terrorists to be held before a jury. "It's simply a waste of time, and these people, if I can even call them that, do not deserve one." They will be put in death row and sentenced to death before the end of the year.

That is, if Edsmontik can reclaim Trosi. So far, five blockades designed to fortify borders of captures cities were taken down by Edsmon troops. As of now, it is all going well. But the EAF has many casualties and losses to report. Smuggled rocket-launchers and automatic rifles, toxic gas grenades and improvised artillery have all been the leading cause to a loss of three Edsmon L24 Aurich I light tanks and two E26 Osnen II medium tanks. Their crews were taken out with gas and brutally beaten to death after the tank battalion had split up to cover more ground.

The situation is already getting out of hand. The Edsmon Armed Forces is planning to command multiple bombers, those being the Y20.C Ysterkanze I stealth bombers and Y21.B Ultenhauke II Strategic Bombers to just bomb the hell out of terrorist bases. But that would come at the cost of losing many civilians that are currently held hostage. Those hostage citizens' lives are also at stake because of the extremists' "sacrifices" to a higher being which are just executions with more steps.

There is no doubt that a wave of terrorists disguised as refugees from other wars have exploited Edsmontik's refugee hospitality system. From the market shootings and burnings in Yaneu of far-left groups to the Northeviige Terrorist groups, which were recently eliminated once and for all by the Edsmons, to the new group in Trosi attempting to overthrow the Declaeder and turn it into a communist, far-left paradise. The Trosian terrorists are easily the strongest group the Edsmons have faced thus far, beating even the Northeviige terrorists who used the tall mountains of the north to their advantage. Their only disadvantage was that these terrorists came from warm societies that made them hate fighting in the Edsmon cold.

Viktor Fragraeit must fix it now. He is indeed one of the greatest Edsmon Declaeders to have stepped foot in the Decaeder's Building, but if he continues waiting for a right moment that will never come, Edsmontik might fall.

Want to Read More? View the Five Other Popular Topics Below!
More Captured than Killed: Is Edsmontik Giving Mercy the Terrorists? Opinions on Whether or Not They Should Just Be Executed in the Field - Death Toll Rises to Seventy as Saufkien is Reclaimed by Edsmon Troops - Twenty Hostages Found Dead in Captured Terrorist Base in Trosiciti - Suyer Breakfast Announces New Locations Across Edsmontik - The EAiF Commisions New Unmanned Drone, Which Design Will be the New Z5.A?

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 2:39 pm

THE IMPERIAL JOURNAL OF ARCHAEOLOGY

The Lost World Cup Stadia: Archaeological Evidence for the Missing World Cup Final Grounds

By Alejandro Brookses and Howard Cartero

ABSTRACT

A document titled the "Mammoth Compendium of World Cup Lies; World Cup 100 Cryptoarchaeology Edition" briefly gained some currency immediately before the first round of World Cup 100. Authors Graham Hancoco and Eric Vondaniceno, self-described " journalists, writers, and seekers after the truth" stated in the introduction to their publication that "no actual real archaeologists have ever been able to disprove anything [in this document] because actual real archaeologists have better things to do with their time than attempt to debunk any scraps of nonsense that gain some sort of media coverage". Concerned that laypeople might have read the Compendium and taken its claims at face value, we have decided that we do indeed want to 'attempt to debunk' the 'scraps of nonsense' in the compendium In this paper we choose some selected claims from the compendium and challenge them using actual archaeological data in an attempt to demonstrate the superiority of actual archaeological scholarship over the Hancoco and Vondaniceno methodology of 'making things up'.

<excerpts from the text>

...the compendium claimed that gold wristwatches have been excavated in 'at least ten' neolithic burials in The Kytler Peninsulae. This ludicrous claim is based not on the actual recovery of modern wristwatches in appropriate stratigraphic contexts, but rather stems from the fact that the nation's archaeologists are incredibly clumsy. In addition to accidentally dropping wristwatches into excavation units, archaeologists from The Kytler Peninsulae have also accidentally discarded keys, Kytler army knives, and a significant number of pens into the same excavation units. The only legitimate question arising is why the nation's archaeologists are so well-paid that they can afford gold wristwatches in the first place...

...the five-pointed white shape on the Saint Eleanor flag is indeed a star. The "Fifth Order of the Secret Chamber of Knowledge" is fictional, and the "Lost City of Thingamajig" is a figment of the authors' imaginations. They do, however, seem to have been influenced by the known Saint Eleanor archaeological site of the Lost City of Thingamabob, which does contain a secret chamber that is yet to be excavated, though remote sensing suggests...

...while the erotic medieval temple art of Kelssek is indeed infamous across the multiverse, it seems to have had no impact on the nation's well-known terrace anthem 'The Summer of 69', which instead of being a cheeky double entendre-laden reference to a certain sex practice is instead a wholesome song that looks back with nostalgia at certain events in the nation's sporting history. We concede that the Holy Empire fielded a team of pornographic film stars for World Cup 30 (or World Cup XXX), but this has no bearing on Kelssek, its erotic medieval temple art, or the nation's terrace anthems. That the Holy Empire Football Association may have been a bit juvenile in the past is no reason to suspect a nation participating in World Cup 100 of being equally juvenile...

...snide innuendo about Audioslavia, and implication that 'scrappy' and 'ugly' are inherent cultural traits, was completely uncalled for. In any case the authors of the Mammoth Compendium must have known that it would be impossible to prove that 'sacred ritual pyramids of bulls’ testicles' ever existed in the nation for the simple reason that this type of soft tissue would not typically survive in the archaeological record. Where they made a mistake, however, was in claiming that epigraphy proves the existence of these pyramids. No such epigraphic inscriptions in fact exist, demonstrating...

..authors of the compendium were in fact correct in their contention that "the collapse of the militaristic, totalitarian state of Squornshelous should have left behind a fascinating archaeological record". Where they were incorrect, however, was in claiming that said archaeological record had been completely erased by the nation's move to Atlantian Oceania. In fact archaeologists are highly active in the Squornshelan Remnant States, where archaeological interpretation is heavily influenced by attempts to better understand the conflicts that shaped the modern nation, and often takes a didactic nature to encourage citizens not to repeat the mistakes of the past. Several recent monographs...

CONCLUSION

We believe that the case studies outlined in the present paper conclusively demonstrate that the Mammoth Compendium is based on a combination of half-truths, misrepresentations, and outright lies. Only the brief entry on the Holy Empire was essentially true, something which the authors of the Compendium readily acknowledged. Even more remarkably, the authors frequently admit that they are making things up or simply lying. It therefore remains baffling that there are nations where the Compendium has been a popular best-seller. We can only ask our mundy friends to pay more attention to reputable archaeological scholarship, and less time reading cryptoarchaeological compendia that the authors freely admit have primarily been written in order to make money from the gullible. Our approach may be more boring, but it at least has the benefit of being accurate. Mostly. Oh alright; at least has the benefit of not having been written to make us money. And if anyone does find out why the archaeologists of The Kytler Peninsulae can afford gold wristwatches, do please let us know.

by **Tikariot** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 2:47 pm

The ancient forest to the north of Baraldhur is backlit by a beautiful deep purple sunset as the towering pines swallow the last rays of the sun. Seven torches light up, showing the faces of Wiołeta Motyka, Adrian Grimaud, Andarra Belfrage, Solfrid Frøya Fiskerstrand-Kyvåg, Anna-Sofia Nørregaard-Hjelmborg, Magnus Baltazar von Rosencrantz and Morris Nighthorse in their flickering light.

Nørregaard-Hjelmborg: Uh, why exactly are we here?

Grimaud: I blame Motyka.

Nørregaard-Hjelmborg: Well yeah, that's pretty much a given, but what is this?

Motyka: A forest.

Nørregaard-Hjelmborg: No shit, Einstein, the trees kind of gave that away, but why are we at this particular forest right now?

Motyka: Have you heard of the Path of the Seven Trials?

von Rosencrantz: No.

Nighthorse: The Path of the Seven Trials is an ancient druidic ritual. This forest, Dhunadan Forest, once was a druidic proving ground. Before a battle or some other great undertaking, warriors would come here and walk the Path. In this forest, there are seven standing stones that represent inner challenges every warrior had to master for success.

Belfrage: So... we are warriors?

Motyka: Hell yeah!

Fiskerstrand-Kyvåg (pulling her hair into a thick ponytail): Well then, guess a little voodoo has never hurt anyone, right?

Nighthorse (chuckling): That's the spirit.

Nørregaard-Hjelmborg: Is this dangerous?

Motyka: Only if you make it.

Motyka sets off and the others follow, some more hesitant then others. The torches paint the trees' bark in flickering gold, almost making them look alive, while the forest creaks like a living thing. They walk along the dark forest path, the trees completely blocking out any moonlight or stars. After a few minutes, they reach a small clearing with a tall menhir coated in lichen. Nighthorse steps forward, looking at the faded inscription.

Nighthorse: The Trial of Fear. Fear comes first because it comes quietly. It freezes legs, it slows decisions. Touch the stone and whisper one fear you will not take onto the battlefield with you.

One by one, each of them steps forward, places a hand on the cold stone and whisper before stepping back. After all seven have completed the step, Nighthorse nods and leads them out of the clearing on the far side. The path twists and turns as it leads onto higher terrain, between rocks and across creeks, the path eroded in some places. They come up on a massive boulder that is perfectly split in two, as if a giant axe had cleaved it.

Belfrage: Damn...

Nighthorse: The trial of anger. Anger can fuel you or distract you. Break it in half, just like this stone.

He gathers up small, dry twigs and hands each player one. They grab the twig, break it in half and throw it between the halves of the boulder.

Fiskerstrand-Kyvåg: How can you read that stuff? I can barely make out that there is something in the first place?

Nighthorse: When I was a kid, the elders of my family would take me onto paths like this. Teach me about the old culture and trials, tribulations and all that. Absolutely fascinating! They also insisted on me learning the Old Language, which I hated at the time because what kid likes to learn a language--

Belfrage: Me...

Nighthorse (chuckling lightly): But now, I'm happy I had the privilege to learn it from someone who still spoke it fluently.

Motyka: Can you actually speak it

Nighthorse: Mostly. A little rusty.

Grimaud: Say something.

Nighthorse: Ahya'mok, K'tahn-ni Solae. The spirits walk with us.

von Rosencrantz: Damn. Strong stuff. Do you think they actually are walking with us?

Nighthorse: Who knows? It's not like their talking back at us. All we can do is try and then see in the game if the Banijans might trip over their own feet or something.

With that, he sets back out, walking around the boulder.

Belfrage: How do you know so well where we have to go? Have you been here before?

Nighthorse: Nope. But sometimes, you just know, you know?

The path leads higher up, hugging the edge or a large hill. They arrive on top of a small plateau, the pale full moon shining down on sparse copses of trees scattered about and a large pillar at the edge, leaning precariously toward the edge.

Nighthorse: The Leaning Pillar is the trial of doubt. Doubt leans hard on you. It wants to push you over. Like this stone, you stand because you choose to.

Each player steps forward and places a hand on the cold surface of the pillar, expecting their touch to make it topple. They whisper one strength they bring to the team and step back into their line. After the last steps back, Nighthorse leads them to the edge of the plateau, where a steep path cuts into the stone. As they descend, they return back into the forest and the moonlight is blocked once more. He squeezes through a narrow crack in the rock, which widens into a cave. In its centre sits a small, still pool, reflecting the flickering torchlight like molten gold.

Nighthorse: This is the trial of pride. Pride blings you, especially if you think you already know the outcome. Look into the water, see the truth: Yourself, as a part of the whole.

They kneel down around the pool's edge and look down into the water, whispering one thing they rely on their teammates for.

Motyka: Thank you all for being who you are. I wouldn't want to be with any other chaos gremlins than you.

Belfrage: Are you okay? That almost made sense...

Motyka: Oh, shut up. Morr, lead the way.

Nighthorse smiles and leads them out of the cave on the other side. The path descends into a hollow and roots rise above the ground around them, forming a natural ring. A stone tablet is at the entrance to the ring.

Nighthorse: The trial of betrayal. Every group has moments when trust cracks and doubt creeps in. Tonight, rebuild that trust.

One by one, they step into the root-circle. As they reach the centre, they place their hand over their heard and nod to the team as a sign of honesty and commitment. Without any words, they reunite outside of the circle and Nighthorse leads them even deeper into the forest.

Nørregaard-Hjelmborg: How big is this forest?

Nighthorse: It stretches halfway from Baraldhur to Westmere, so about 80 kilometres across.

Nørregaard-Hjelmborg: Wow.

The path narrows, forcing them to walk single-file for a while, walking along a small stream flowing down from the plateau toward Lake Caylon in the east. After what feels like an eternity, they reach a massive, moss-covered oak that must have fallen decades ago.

Nighthorse: We have reached the trial of grief. Loss can weigh you down, unrequited grief hold you back. Leave these losses here.

The players rest their torches against the fallen trunk of the oak for a moment of silence before picking them back up again, symbolizing moving forward. They leave the area in silence, as words feel out of place. The path widens a bit again, leading toward a larger clearing with a steep hill in its centre. At the top, they can see a stone set atop a pedestal.

Nighthorse: The trial of exhaustion.

The girls groan.

Nighthorse: Even when your legs burn and your heart is tired, you do not give up. You continue to push yourself and continue to climb.

The players ascend the hill, which is even steeper than it looked at first. By the time they reach the top, they are panting and sweating.

Motyka: By the gods... Nobody tell Coach about this or he'll have us run up hills like that all the time, understood?

While exhausted, the group can't help but laugh. Nighthorse points toward the north where through the trees they can see a circle of standing stones.

Nighthorse: That's where we're going now. That is the heart of druidic site.

They carefully descend the hill and walk into the circle. The air here is cooler, calmer. In its centre stands a perfectly round stone with a flat top that has an inscription carved into it. Nighthorse carefully brushes away some debris.

Nighthorse: Ve'dra Sol-ath En-dora. Kah'lan Tel-ni Shol. Seven trials laid to rest. One challenge standing ahead.

Belfrage: Wait. Seven trials, we are seven people, does that have any significance?

Nighthorse: No, that's actually just coincidence.

All of them place one hand on the central stone. The ritual is complete.

by **Squornshelan Remnant States** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 2:53 pm

Eager spectators in Tovaca expected a shootout between two of World Cup qualifying's highest powered attacks. Instead, they got a tense, tight battle that eventually ended in a deadlock that left both sides needing a result to keep their expectations alive.

The Goldhorns, en route to topping Group 25, tallied 62 goals, while the Black-and-Reds outdid even that effort, scoring 69 on the way to winning their own group. With a group like Hackl, Kosch-Kovarik and Lé Méjî suiting up in blue and gold, and McGill, Ksudach and Starovoitov in the smart new black and red stripes across the field, anticipation for a match filled with spectacular action was high. Both teams like to get the ball forward, though Weismann's Goldhorns are perhaps not quite so fanatically dedicated to pressing the attack as Madeiros's Squornshelan side. The O/U prematch was running in the vicinity of 4, and there were evidently plenty who opted to take the over, as betting outlets like Jarongi reported an excellent day for profits. Speaking of gambles, or perhaps gambits, there was an interesting side note from the match, as Squornshelan Foreign Minister Lumia Pažout was spotted paying a visit to the box of the Siovanijan-Teus governmental delegation. Whether this was simply a bit of banter or routine greeting between friendly governments we can't be sure, but with the line that President Kraft's government has been pursuing of late, you'd have to think there was perhaps a bit more to the visit than a friendly wager. Siovanija & Teusland after all, has had a reputation for the kind of respected military strength that Kraft seems to aspire to for quite some time. No comment has yet been made by government sources about the meeting yet, but it certainly seems worthwhile to watch this space in the near future of Arrosian politics.

That's not to say there wasn't action. Shots and shot attempts ran as high as expected. As hard as the respective back lines worked, and as much as the managers gameplanned to limit the effectiveness of their oppositions' strikers, these two cadres were never going to be contained for 90 minutes. Rather, it was the two men standing at either end of the pitch who stole the show. Sepp Kranz and Radoslav Bláha would share Man of the Match honors as they proved equal to nearly everything sent their way, with Kranz fending off 10 Squornshelan efforts, and Bláha successfully dealing with 9 at his end. Their performance seemed to lead to a good deal of frustration, as no fewer than seven yellow cards were assigned during the match, and while no one player accumulated two, there will now be a few who'll need to mind their manners if they want to avoid missing an important match.

Still, despite the excellence between the uprights, not everything could be stopped. After a scoreless first half, and a good length of the second elapsing without a ball hitting the net, the tension in the Tovaca Thunderdome was palpable. The arena's superb acoustics amplified every sigh and gasp of the crowd, every hopeful shout and moan of disappointment. And so when Thakkar finally slotted a ball, perfectly weighted, between Apel and Sanner, when McGill took a first touch off the outside of her foot to sidestep the onrushing Kranz and finished coolly into the center of the net with the poise of a veteran, the arena exploded. McGill jogged to the corner flag, pointing up into the Squornshelan section with a smirk as she was mobbed by her teammates. Alas, despite the confidence on display, this was not the breaking of a dam by any means, and with just over twenty minutes to go before stoppage time, the snakebitten aura seemed to settle back over the strikers on both sides. Not five minutes after her goal, McGill sent a golden chance to double the scoreline into row Z, and found herself subbed off at the next stoppage, with Madeiros shifting toward a more defensive minded setup, shifting both Ksudach and Starovoitov toward the center and introducing Arenz and Sevet-Ibilx to the midfield, with Thakkar joining McGill on the bench.

With quite a few stoppages from fouls having accumulated, and with the Black-and-Reds now making the most of each time the ball went out of play, the fourth official announced a massive 8 minutes of added time, much to the displeasure of the Squornshelan supporters, not to mention Dudu Madeiros, who gave them as much of an earful as he felt he could get away with. Prime acoustics notwithstanding, the crowd's appeal had no effect on the decision, and the Goldhorns were given a last chance to pull even. Throwing caution to the winds, Weismann spent his last substitution to bring on Zschokke in place of Reichenbach, and urged his team to throw everything forward. When Bláha parried aside Lé Méjî's shot with the running clock reading 97:45, even Kranz came forward for the ensuing corner kick. Porsche, who had come on for Gruber in the 80th, curled the kick in, but in the end no one rose to meet it, and the ball sailed harmlessly over the crowd in the penalty area and eventually out over the end line. Surely that was the end, and the Confederate bench looked ready to celebrate.

The referee pointed to the penalty spot, then immediately ran off for VAR confirmation before the Black-and-Reds could swarm him. The replay, unfortunately, was clear. Valtteri Tirel took a double fistful of Einar Hackl's jersey and with some 85 kilos of center back hanging off him, the Goldhorns' striker was firmly kept grounded as the ball sailed overhead. An unforced tumble to the ground had certainly helped the official note the infraction, but you couldn't really argue the case that it was a soft penalty, though many certainly have on social media since last night.

This was for all the marbles then, effectively one, untimed shot, time all but expired on the match already. Hackl looking to add to his impressive national team goal tally, Bláha to preserve his clean sheet and see off the Black-and-Reds' most difficult group stage opponent with full points in hand. Hackl stepped up, stepped slowly forward, one foot at a time, eyes locked on Bláha. The Squornshelan keeper tensed, waited, shuffled from foot to foot. Football's ultimate waiting game as each hopes the other will give something away first. A final hesitation before the strike, the set of the keeper's feet as he prepares to launch toward the goalpost, the ball firmly driven toward the bottom corner. In the end, Bláha chose wrong. 1-1, and the final whistle.

Disappointed, and tied for second behind Paradystopia, the Black-and-Reds will need to shake off the result and prepare for their shift to Avanaroch's Paladon Park for their next two matches. Up next will be an old foe, the so-called Zebras of Zwangzug. They were also a potent team in the goalscoring department (dare we say 'zesty'), racking up 65 over the course of qualifying, though failing to find the net against Paradystopia. The Black-and-Reds will need a good result to ease the anxiety after last night's finish, as heading into the final match of the group stage from behind the figurative eight ball isn't a position any championship hopeful wants to find themselves in.

by **StrayaRoos** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 2:53 pm

Previous entries in the series

A Slightly Unhelpful Guide to StrayaRoos - Regions
Part 5 - The Cove

And finally, from an irrelevant state, we go to the most important one. The Cove (officially Cove State, but everybody calls it the Cove), home to 90% of the nation’s governmental institutions and most of the earlier history.

How the state started on its own is a question nobody seems to know the answer to. It just popped up as an organised political entity in the latter half of the 18th century, although archaeological evidence says human settlement has been around in the Pale area for at least 10,000 years, probably more. Another thing nobody knows is how the Cove delegates at the Federal Conventions in the 1880s managed to convince everybody else that their capital city, Pale, should be the capital city of the nation that eventually became StrayaRoos.

The Cove’s geography is really just a patchwork of major cities and municipalities. So in the middle of the cove that the state is named after, we have Pale, Zeal, and Manildon. legally they’re three separate cities, but in practice they’re one city, sharing a public transport network, emergency services, and a mayor.
Meanwhile, about 90km to the north, we have Acina, which was formerly a major coal mining town and port, before recently shifting away from that due to the energy transition. Now the area has shifted to being more of a hub for art, tech and cruises, although it’s not really going well on the last two fronts. The art part is going well; the city has converted most former coal-related buildings into public galleries or art installations.
The final major-ish city in the state is Sysbanes. The etymology of the name is unknown, although in recent years somebody has noted that it sounds like a portmanteau of two commonly used names for fictional cities in a fictional country that strongly resembles StrayaRoos, but most people have rejected that theory. The city itself largely exists as it does today because of the railways, being on the border of the Cove and Central StrayaRoos, as well as being near-ish to Western StrayaRoos and was often an interchange point until the line between Panem and Circunses was completed in the late 1940s. And somehow, it’s survived to the present day, albeit more as a freight and farming hub than a passenger one.

The Cove is politically the most progressive of the 4 states, although Ulladulla tends to be the most left-wing of the regions, but, as mentioned last time, they don’t count as a state for weird constitutional reasons that nobody gives enough of a shit to fix. Anyway. This left-lean never translates to actual dominance for Labor. Usually it means one of three things happen: the Greens can accidentally hand the NatCon coalition power in a minority government with the Democrats or conservative Independents (this last happened in 2024), Labor leads a minority government with Greens and/or Democrats supporting (last happened in 2028, with just the Greens joining Labor), or, Labor holds a Parliamentary majority of around about 5-10 (~60 seats in a chamber of 103). (Last happened at the most recent election in 2032)
There are also times when the NatCon coalition wins an outright majority, but these are rare. In fact, it’s happened exactly once in the past 50 years, in 2012. And no more than five times in the 106 years of state elections (dating back to 1928). So yeah. Mostly a Labor hegemony and not particularly interesting.

Linguistically, like its politics, The Cove is also rather singular. English and Dharawal are the two dominant languages, with Dharawal being spoken by about 20-30% of the state, and a few country towns dotted in the more remote corners of the state have created a combination of the two organically. Which is rather interesting.

by **Kelssek** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 3:01 pm

_/_ NSN | Football

KSK 0-0 ESH / Cutter’s miss leaves Kelssek’s opening match a stalemate

We still don’t know how costly Rolando Cutter’s missed penalty in the 62nd minute will ultimately be, but in the context of this match it did no one any good. The abject manner in which they gave away the penalty seemed to cow Eshialand into shoring up the defence and playing more conservatively, and they took few chances and created no chances in the remaining 28 minutes. As for Kelssek, the momentum they’d been building after a cagey first half simply stalled, the whole team apparently traumatized by the country’s hottest young striker ballooning this crucial shot clear over the crossbar from 12 yards.

Turning up the tempo was how Kelssek were getting more chances in the second half. With the midfield working their way through their opponents with quicker, one-touch football, Kelssek were enjoying a spell of pressure. Rémy Niemi had a half-chance saved, and Sammy Mao’s pinpoint cross was headed onto the crossbar by Ariana Coulter, who came on to replace Niemi shortly after. Volodymyr Casiraghi’s volley from the edge of the box would have been a staple of the highlight reels had Harry Bruske not managed to tip it wide. And it was an incisive foray into the penalty area by Chike Obident that forced a crucial mistake from Kaiya Daniels, whose mis-timed tackle as the winger raced towards goal earned the penalty.

“Over the whole match, not just at the end, we needed to take more risks, so I have to consider this an opportunity lost”, said Kelssek manager Obey Chidiebere. “We needed more urgency, regardless of what has happened in the match.”

Chidiebere’s own decisions have come in for a share of the criticism, too, with many focusing on the choice to leave Cutter on the pitch instead of trying a different forward option. Asked directly if he had thought about trying a different striker, Chidiebere backed the younger player.

“I did think about it. And I have confidence in everyone in this squad. But in the moment, I felt Rolando could have something to prove and it was the best chance of us getting a goal.”

After the mixed outcomes of this stalemate, there are more questions and uncertainties around how to approach the second match against Mertagne. Rémy Niemi did not make a great case to be leading the line, though blame could also be heaped on the lack of service from Kaiden Pépin and Titan Pogbacar, whose middling performances belied the fact that Kelssek really has no other midfielders with their all-round skill set. Quite simply, Kelssek needs better quality from their first eleven.

KELSSEK 0
Carrieri, Casiraghi, Vergland, Durocher, Bastien, Pogbacar, Pépin (Licea 78’), Mao (Mylonakis 68’), Obident (Hannigan 78’), Cutter, Niemi (Coulter 59’)
ESHIALAND 0
Citadel of the North, Fort Viljan (attendance 38,417)

by **The Kytler Peninsulae** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 3:18 pm

There are plenty of Kytlerian pubs.

Not quite as many as there once was, but more than you might expect for a nation that had a decades-long moral panic over drugs that spilled over into a broader temperance movement.

Kytlerian pubs, you see, aren't about drinking at all. You can drink if you like - there's usually a reasonable array of beers on tap, often including a few locally-brewed hipster hops in the cities - but drinking to excess is frowned upon quite badly, and also decidedly expensive due to heavy taxation. Heavy enough that, despite being more expensive to produce given the added complexity of doing so, alcohol-free beers are reliably the cheapest beers in the country; some are literally dealcoholized versions of a conventional beer, but there are specific non-alcoholic beer brands plural that have significant share in their own right. (One of them, Nullifier - tagline "so good you'll feel like a comic book hero" - sponsored the Kytlerian Darts Challenge that kicked off the short-lived NSDC campaign a few years back. Most of the home contingent then promptly played more like throwaway villains.)

Instead, they serve four other purposes.

Firstly, pub games. Darts (there's a reason Nullifier hitched their sponsorship wagon to the Kytlerian Darts Challenge), pool, shuffleboard, there's quite often a board game or ten available too. It's not at all uncommon for Kytlerian pubgoers to have one alcoholic drink to loosen their inhibitions enough to yoink some self-consciousness that might be blocking them from playing some of these games, and then sticking to the Nullifier or equivalent thereafter; in fact, there's even been advertising campaigns for beer explicitly based around doing just that.

Secondly, karaoke. There's plenty of karaoke-specific venues in the big cities especially, but in more rural areas generally and the Northern Downs in particular the pub is the keeper of the national karaoke flame. Many urban-dwellers still swear by the pub karaoke experience as the "authentic" one, rather than the "sanitized" version at the specific karaoke bars with their shiny floors and gig-like lighting environments; the pub selections are typically smaller and more erratic, but for the casual crowd that's only ever a problem if they're outdated and they can't get the chance to massacre a recent Phillie Phanatique track. (The pub is also often a home of live music of the more organised kind - and the two sometimes meet with "live band karaoke," although the inherent setlist limitations that come with this concept have limited its appeal somewhat - but karaoke is historically the bigger draw.)

Thirdly, casual dining. Before the emergence of the Quebecois-Kytlerian Gregg's Restaurants chain, there was one place you tended to go for a sensible meal at a sensible price, and it was the pub. For many, it still is; the trademark Gregg's chicken burger is something that all pubs tend to offer their own take on, and some swear that pub ones tend to be better, or at least more interesting. More broadly, you can combine a casual meal here with one of the activities mentioned above; one viral ode to Kytlerian pubs listed "munching on a chicken burger while your mate misses three darts at double 1" as one of the great things about them, and they're right even if the pub almost never feels like a madhouse.

Finally, and probably most importantly, the Kytlerian pub is usually a sports bar. (There are a few exceptions that make a point of being screenless; these are essentially their own thing, with their own character and their own clientele.) Some places have projector screens, sometimes projected onto a curtain behind which lies a karaoke stage; all tend to have big TVs in relatively big numbers, sometimes tuned to different events (like separate matches on NSL Sundays, the busiest regular day for the pubs given that these are the matches that are behind the Kytel paywall), other times on one big event.

And they don't come much bigger than this one. Reopening Day, World Cup 100 opening day, The Kytler Peninsulae against Vdara in a lunchtime showdown to kick off six weeks that will - if World Cup 98 is any guide - singlehandedly save a few pubs from closure and allow a few hundred more to build a buffer against a future recession. Assuming they don't have to just spend it on recruitment to replace burned-out staff...

With only 61,093 seats at the Zube Olympic Stadium, a heap of them assigned to dignitaries/sponsor invitees/media representatives/et multiple cetera and a bunch more to Vdaran travelling fans, there were an awful lot of Kytlerians who weren't watching this in the stands but still wanted to watch it in a communal environment. And for an awful lot of them, that environment was a pub.

Twelve minutes from the end of a first half where the home side seemed much better at dousing the Vdaran threat than providing their own, Vicente exchanged passes with a deep-dropping Thomas Packard and then, having drawn multiple defenders with him, lofted a diagonal ball to a painfully wide-open Alex Ellington. How you can fail to track someone with vivid pink hair remains a mystery, but what wasn't a mystery was that they would easily slot home between the legs of the exposed Emilios Nicolides. The first goal of the triple-digit era of World Cups proper was theirs, and unconfined joy spilled across whatever portion of the stadium wasn't filled by aforementioned not-Kytlerians - while, over in the pubs, a whole lot of hugging and a fair amount of Nullifier being, erm, nullified by way of being sent flying into the air. The Kytlerians had the lead.

That lead would be preserved comfortably enough into the second half, but Vdara would grow into the game upon the introduction of a familiar face to the Kytlerian crowd - Aardswood United midfield enforcer Lukis Littlikis. His ball-winning would set up multiple opportunities for quick attacks, the use of two conventional strikers ensuring there was always an outlet for the long ball, and one of those led to the equalising goal for (erm) Littlikis himself, after a Sophia Kyprianou shot deflected wide off Liz Okney and the resultant corner was headed in by a man who had scored a goal exactly like that on big occasions for the Aardvarks more than once before. But just because you've seen something before doesn't mean you can always find the answer to it, especially when that something is "big lad deploys big bonce in a big way," and now Littlikis goes down in the history books as the first cis goalscorer in a triple-digit World Cup Proper. There will be more such firsts to claim - "first penguin" springs to mind immediately, along with between ten and ninety-three different categories that are terrifying just to contemplate let alone type - but that one was his.

There were late chances at both ends - and Nicolides made a fine save to deny Vicente just as the board went up to denote five added minutes - but 1-1 was ultimately a fair result, and not one either team could be unhappy with. With this 48-into-32 format, both teams now had two chances to find one win that would all but nail down a place in the bracket, both against notionally easier opposition (albeit only slightly, in this group of compression). This wasn't a performance for either to look like potential champions, but neither did it suggest any element of lost nerve at the first sign of pressure; what we saw here were the two slight favourites to advance from this group playing like teams that should get out of the group.

Which is good news for those Kytlerian pubs.

World Cup 81/82/83/84

Bees held to draw in opener, face top seed with all to play for
Scott McCrae
The Daily Mail Chief Soccer Writer

The Commonwealth of Baker Park National Team extended their unbeaten run to 14 in a row with a 2-2 draw against Pyazhnaya on matchday 1 of the World Cup Finals, and now face the top seed in Group F, Kamijiro, with their destiny firmly in their own hands.

Both group fixtures ended in a stalemate, as Zenic and Kamijiro played to a 3-3 deadlock, leaving all four sides even on a single point with the crucial second day ahead; nothing will be decided regardless of the results but it also lengthens the odds that the third placed nation will be one of the right to progress should there be a single winner on matchday 2.

BP have allowed more than 2 goals in a match through this WC cycle only once, a 3-3 draw against Banija in a friendly. Their four defeats over the 24 matches prior to the beginning of the Finals were all shutouts, but they averaged over 3 goals per game in the remaining 20 fixtures. They have produced enough offense to win 2 of every 3 matches they've played this far. So the signs are there for optimism in getting the three points needed to be in the running for a place in the last 3

by **Ko-oren** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 3:28 pm

How does the government actually work? Pt 2

Parliament, Part II

Previously, we've mentioned a couple of things that we'll revisit here:
- Democracy in Ko-oren is older than you think
- Democracy involved in national legislation is younger than you think

We hope you're not sick of references to the eras yet. Era 9, the one with exports, exploits, and partition, paints a picture of a divided nation: it's rural versus urban and mass strikes on the rural side forced the urban side to start servicing the rest of the nation, not just the bourgeoisie. Just after this era we'll see one nation, unified - spoilers! - where national institutions will actually get to do things instead of just exist as a concept, infrastructure permeates the periphery, and... is that political axes?

The parliament in its modern form, and its parties, are formed after those axes. It's important to understand how those came to be, in order to understand why exactly we have the parties we have. The ones named as early as 250+ years ago are democracy/meritocracy, centre/periphery, as well as the progressive/conservative social values and the right wing/left wing economics that we see in other countries.

Looking at our current parliament, you'll have spotted exactly the eight parties named for the extremes of these axes. We have a Democratic Party who traditionally oppose the Meritocratic Party, there's the Regional Party (but no Centre Party! Instead we have the International Party, which does something like the opposite), the Conservatives and... no Progressive Party? Thankfully the left/right is perfectly replicated by our Labour and Liberal parties - and their more extreme versions, the FFFP (far-left) and the PLE (far-right economics). Beyond those, there are two green parties: Midori (progressive) and Vert&Bleu (conservative) and on top of that we have a Nationalist party.

Of course, no party is a monolith and most of them take a stance across the axes. The Labour party is not just centre-left economically, they're also progressive - while the Liberals are slightly more conservative. Both don't really take a stance in the other two matters, though. And the Democratic Party is a little more progressive, the Meritocratic Party a little more conservative. By their histories, the Democratic Party is also more periphery-minded, the Meritocrats are a little more urban - and a specific type of urban at that (namely, the capitals). Neither take a huge economic stance, though.

Part of the concessions that those in power did at the end of era 9 was to install a parliament to critically look at what government was doing - that's the part where democracy in Ko-oren is a lot younger than you think. The role of parliament wasn't really set until about a century ago, and even then it took work by a handful of prime ministers who felt that action was necessary to really entrench parliament and its job as auditor in the constitution and daily life. During the tenure of a very meritocratic prime minister, turnout for elections is decidedly lower (as low as 35%). Democracy is alive and kicking, because during the tenure of a prime minister who really wants parliament to take an active stance in Ko-oren's development, turnout can rise as high as 70%. As you'd expect, the turnout percentage has some consequences for the results: under anti-democracy prime ministers, parliament turns far more ardently democratic - higher turnout rates favour the centrists.

In fact, Ko-oren has had some of its best moments of the last century when parliament was willing to actively work with the ministries and the cabinet to get quality legislation ratified and active when needed. We're talking infrastructure, healthcare, education, and welfare. Ko-oren's social programmes caught up to the rest of Anaia incredibly quickly during a period of 20-25 years where there was a clear vision where legislation was equitable and - because parliament was on board - also targeted the parts of the country that needed it most. This came after a period of establishing national institutions: post, libraries, literacy, police and law enforcement, during which there was still some turmoil between the ministries that wanted to tick boxes to make the rest of the world think we had it all covered, and parliament who wanted more meaningful changes to the daily lives of Ko-orenites.

In the more recent era where Ko-oren was at the forefront of green decisions, carbon neutrality, the protection and use of personal information, right-to-repair, climate adaptation in the face of worsening weather and more extreme temperatures - that was all the doing of a prime minister who saw parliament as a benefit to their cause, not a detriment.

by **Kwrpania** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 3:32 pm

WORLD CUP 100

Electric Eels held to draw in tournament opener

TYDEBWG, NORTH PROVINCE – A second-half goal and heroic defending earned a draw for Indusse against Kwrpania, 1-1.

Magnws-rym played the opening kickoff of Kwrpania's World Cup 100 back to Magnws-rab, and the roar that accompanied it was that of months of anticipation and years of professional development. Within just a few years, Kwrpania had gone from emerging on the international stage, making a small splash in the puddle of the Baptism of Fire, to hosting the World Cup. That was what urged the 50,000 (minus the hundreds of Indussean fans who made the long trip for the tournament) present in the stadium to a higher and higher pitch - an immense feeling of pride. And in the first half, the players played like they had that alone coursing through their veins. Mamzwb-bab was a revelation on the left - having played two seasons in the Indussean league, their understanding of the Flocking Blues' game was stronger than anyone else's, and they shut down the Indussean right with interception and tackle alike.

It wasn't long before the fervent crowd, and the matching pace of play, began to create openings for the hosts. With not even ten minutes played, an excellent passage of play down the right freed Fyrek-syn-nam for a dangerous cutback to the top of the box, which the onrushing Vabwpetob-zok could only put narrowly over the crossbar. Ten minutes later, more excellent work down the wing from Fyrek-syn-nam earned the Electric Eels a set piece not far from the corner of the penalty area, but a curling effort from Magnws-rab was comfortably parried away by Jahangir Shehzad in the Indussean goal. While the pressure subsided as both sides bode their time for their chance to take the momentum, Vabwpetob-zok nearly took it into their own hands on 35 minutes, hitting an ambitious effort from nearly 40 yards out that cannoned off the crossbar, with Shehzad beaten by the movement of the ball but saved by his woodwork. The Flocking Blues sustained a few attacks late in the half, with the captain Antonio Mersiás rippling the side netting on a shot from a tight angle, but the visitors' ambition would be their undoing in first-half stoppage time, as another excellent interception from Mamzwb-bab stole the ball, and even better vision and anticipation led to their cross-field ball drilled into the path of Fyrek-syn-nam. The pacey Tranquility youngster had the beating of their man on the wing, and his cross was perfectly weighted for Rynropeka-gyv to slide the ball into the bottom corner at its end, beating Shehzad and taking the roof off the National Stadium. With the goalscorer and several substitutes leaping into the crowd, the referee blew the half-time whistle, and both sides eventually filed into the dressing rooms in very different moods.

Whatever the visitors' Auprussian manager Pierre Camanin said during the break must have lit a fire under his squad, as the Indusseans came out of the tunnel like a house on fire, immediately pinning the hosts back with an intensity redoubled from their efforts late in the first half. As the crowd, now more nervously, attempted to push their heroes towards escaping the pressure, a loose ball from Mamzwb-bab was seized upon by his Sindvpore FC teammate Goblin Grundjee, who decisively found the feet of Djetson Hasle, and the midfielder's beautiful shot beat Fakswr-rof to silence the home crowd and level the game. The relentless pressure from the visitors eased after the goal, but that didn't stop young forward Rahul Kumar from forcing an excellent diving save out of Fakswr-rof with a snapshot inside the area. Another counter-attack would provide the Electric Eels' final real chance of the game, with a beautifully curled cross from Pabofen-nam headed narrowly over the bar by captain Magnws-rym. The slightly decreased conditioning of the home side told later on as their efforts began to falter, but they held the Indusseans at bay for an extremely credible opening-match draw.

The result drew comparisons to the group stage of the last World Cup, where the Electric Eels opened their campaign with a draw against qualification rivals Eshialand, and required a victory over Vdara on the final matchday to qualify for the knockout stages. This time, however, the path seems much more difficult. In the other match in Group C, the Busoga Islands, ranked 38th in the world (two places above Kwrpania), defeated 16th-ranked Pasarga in a stunning upset, with a first-half goal from winger Isa Kujabi Jr. following an excellent penalty save from keeper Ulus Talay putting the Islanders into the lead, and further goals from striker Ayben Uzun and substitute midfielder Erdal Aydin earning their nation a legendary 3-1 victory. The Islanders are up next for Kwrpania, and with what should remain an extremely difficult test in Pasarga awaiting on Matchday 3, this next match has become a must-win if the Electric Eels' ambitions of a berth in the knockout stages can be fulfilled. Goals from Magnws-fen and Magnws-rym were enough for a 2-0 victory away in Dukuma in the last meeting between these sides, but a surging Busogan side overcame their hosts in the second meeting in Tygnad, 5-4. The task this time is an altogether different one, however, with the game moving from the crowded but small confines of Thundering Falls Stadium to the relatively cavernous National Stadium. Another partisan capacity crowd is expected for the match, and while the pre-game festivities won't live up to the unofficial opening ceremony air of the first match, a raucous atmosphere is certain for another massive game for the Electric Eels.

Kwrpania 1-1 Indusse
National Stadium, Tydebwg, Kwrpania
Lineup: Fakswr-rof; Synydwb-pyt, Bezypman-bof, Fandwrsw-vyz, Mamzwb-bab; Fyrek-syn-nam, Magnws-rab, Vabwpetob-zok, Pabofen-nam; Magnws-rym, Rynropeka-gyv
Goals: Rynropeka-gyv 45+4'

Kwrpania vs. Busoga Islands
National Stadium, Tydebwg, Kwrpania
Projected Lineup: Fakswr-rof; Pykpytyr-byz, Bezypman-bof, Magnws-pes, Fyrek-kon-nam; Fyrek-syn-nam, Magnws-rab, Vabwzyb-kes, Nenzabyv-nor; Magnws-rym, Rynropeka-gyv

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The Day the Sky Rained Fire
Chapter One: The Birth of a People

Nobody knows what caused the Great Migration. Long before the advent of the written Kwrpan alphabet, the oral tales passed down from generation to generation vary so greatly as to make any consistent, shared explanation impossible. Some say that the ships sailed from the far north, escaping a land of bounties that slowly transformed into icy wastes, pushing our ancestors to the seas in search of literally greener pastures. Others say that they sailed from the west, fleeing barbarian hordes which laid waste to village after village. Yet others say that they sailed from the east, rounding the coasts of Tempalia before finding our modern home in West Pavola, fleeing distant islands that exploded and sank into the sea.

What remains true is what the archaeological records show - approximately four thousand years ago, a mass of ships in the hundreds if not thousands, large and small alike, landed across the coast of northern Kwrpania, holding a population of perhaps two hundred thousand. By every indication, it was one of the greatest feats of logistics in history to that point - the organization of the peoples of a vast expanse of territory, working in unison to find their new home. In the land that is now Kwrpania, they found it - and it is from now when the disparate tales unite into a single narrative. They found a coast amenable to life of all sorts, and a broad, vast river, at whose mouth all sorts of aquatic life flourished. Early expeditions up the river were held speechless by its sheer size - sailing down the center, one could barely see each coast, and one could only see across it in its entirety on the clearest of days. They continued to sail south, as the river narrowed, and as they continued, they began to sail through an ever densening fog - a fog that soon became so dense, they could barely see from one boat to another. It was in this strange place that they lost their way from each other.

One party landed ashore, and held still, calling out for their brothers^[1]. The others continued to sail, and before long could not have heard those cries, as a mighty roar became audible, on the horizon, then increased in volume before soon, one man could not speak to another without pressing one's mouth directly to the other's ear. There, they landed, and were overawed by the greatest waterfall any of them had ever seen, with the mighty torrent of water reminding them of the hammering of the anvils of gods. There, according to legend, the leader of the navigating party tore his oar from its mooring and dashed it against a rock, leaving a sharp and splintered end where the blade formerly sat. There, beneath the Thundering Falls, the man impaled the shaft into the soft, damp earth, and said "We have arrived in a land of many wonders. The gods have granted us salvation from our hardships, and we must accept their gifts, treating this land as we treat our own mothers". There was born the legends of the Kwrpan - Mother River, who worked unimaginable wonders, wielded immense strength, and nourished her land and her people - and Pazop-vebyv, the All-Father, the First Kwrpan, who tied his people to the land upon which they would live, and who would lead them into the future they could believe in.

^[1] - Oral history from this period has been preserved in what is now relatively archaic language - it is a matter of dispute when the Kwrpan language evolved to remove gendered nouns/pronouns, but this is evidently before that point.

by **Chromatika** » Sat Nov 22, 2025 4:30 pm

World Cup 100 Proper - Matchday 1: Chromatika 1-1 Tanirinthia
Goals Prenn 81'
Starting XI: Sourtois; Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Saburo; Fillar, G. - Mesic-Mizayaki - Françine-Miklavivec - Fillar, E.; Fillar, B.; Xuen-Zhukov (C) - Howard-Dawes.
Substitutes: Han Cunningham -> Jackson-Jones (51'), Lethbridge-Antonio, J. -> Mesic-Mizayaki (51'), Prenn -> Fillar, B. (71'), Bittencourt -> Xuen-Zhukov (71'), Lee -> Françine-Miklavivec (82')
Summary: See below
World Cup 100 Proper - Matchday 2 vs. (30) Crpostran @ Mastad Qusma, Qanz, Qusmo (80,000)
Starting XI: Sourtois; Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Saburo; Fillar, G. - Mesic-Mizayaki - Françine-Miklavivec - Fillar, E.; Fillar, B.; Xuen-Zhukov (C) - Howard-Dawes.
Substitutes: GK Jill Swanson, GK Jessika Aniston, DCR Jaxon Lehmann, DC Claudia Lethbridge-Antonio, DCL Cyiie Nodis, DC Samantha Han Cunningham, WBR Jacoliene Hauptmeijer, WBL Nemes Mátyás, WBL Róża Panaś, CDM Jayla Lethbridge-Antonio, CDM Eden Gundsdorf, AM Maddie Prenn, AP Lee Hyun-Seol, AF Kaytlyn Jean-Baptiste, CF Harriet Baïe-Verte, AF Adélaïde Bittencourt

Prenn, Lee Help Anomalies Salvage Point in World Cup Proper Opener

It doesn't matter if you've won ten in a row. Once you get to this point, everyone in the tournament are the best of the best. Tenth-ranked Tanirinthia didn't care. Blitzing through the Chromatik defenses with a sniped shot by Viola Wheeler in the first twenty minutes, they controlled the flow of the match throughout the most of it. Chromatika came in waves, but Tanirinthia held. So, at halftime, Khabibullina did what she always does - making adjustments. First came Samantha Han Cunningham and Jayla Lethbridge-Antonio to give some youth in the backfield and center of the defense, helping manage the flow. Then, Maddie Prenn, Adélaïde Bittencourt, and ultimately, Lee Hyun-Seol. Placing the two youngsters instead of Evin and Baillaire gave Chromatika a lot of playmaking options in the final third, and they started to truly pressure the Tanirinthia back line.

The breakthrough finally came in the eighty-first when Howard-Dawes's shot was blocked. The rebound fell to Prenn, and she buried it for the draw. Getting a point off of the top seeded team in the group is not a bad start, as realistically only four points are needed to make the Round of Thirty-Two; now, they face Crpostran before taking on cohost Qusmo.

It's not the best of starts, but not the worst. They'll take it, but there are things to fix.

They'd rather not have to face the hosts with a trip to the second round on the line. They've never beaten Crpostran in football.

No pressure at all.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

Epsilon Omicron Delta

Part 8

NILAS

Four days since the energy growth was recognized, the Chromatik-Yesopalithan alliance had put together a number of theories on how they could communicate back. Sending a wave from their side wouldn't work because it could have disastrous effects on whatever it was that the initiators were doing, and there was a chance that the initiators would consider the counter-wave as an attack. Just stopping it altogether could also be a problem as they fundamentally didn't understand the composition of the wave or its intent.

No, the conclusion that they reached as the best way to handle the situation at hand ended up being a far more basic one. A small blocker, intended to stop just a fraction of a percent of the signal. Absolutely not enough to stop anything, but enough to be discernible from the other side. It was impossible to tell if they could get a message back when they did so, but at least this was better than nothing.

Morse code. Simple message. A full second for a dash, a half second for a dot.

The message would be:

Mean no harm. What is your intent?

They started sending the "message" every hour on the hour.

///

AMÉLIE

"We've noticed something happening in the last five hours," explained the being nonchalantly, pushing a piece of paper ahead to Amélie.

It was a series of dots and dashes.

"According to knowledge gained from your dimension, this is called Morse Code. They want to know what we're doing, and if we mean harm. How do you think that we should react?" the being inquired.

Amélie sighed a sigh of relief. Finally, they were getting somewhere.

"Is there a way to tell them through the same way that we're going to be sending people back through, and that we are looking for those that are still lost?" she asked.

"If you mean a way to temper the wave in a noticeable way so they can track the same dots and dashes, yes. What is the message that you wish to send?" the being countered.

///

NILAS

"Guard-Captain, we're getting a message back!" an assistant shouted.

LLTRR
Survivors incoming. Lost ones still being searched for. Allies found.
Aequalitas enim omnia

LLTRR - Long Live The Rainbow Revolution. Aequalitas enim omnia - For equality if everything - the Chromatik motto.

For the first time in a long while, things started looking up.

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