World Cup 100 | RP thread

[Vdara]

Okay, okay, we get it. You’ve had enough of football, all the football all the time can get so, so tiring, and your brain has melted into a very thick and lumpy soup. Been there, done that. So, just for you - the viewer - this RP will no longer mention football. Football no longer exists. For the duration of time which you read this text, there never was such thing as football, or indeed ‘soccer’ or any other heathenous names given to it. Are there problems in your life? No there aren't. Is there a task you've been putting off for a while? One which is important to your day? Your place of work? Your degree? Too bad, not anymore. Between now and the time you finish reading this block of cheese text, you are cordially invited to immerse yourself in this fantastically interesting, brilliantly simple explanation of the Vdaran dairy industry, so exceptional that you’ll be craving bits of graviera, spooning globules of oxygala into your mouth, and sipping on questionable milk. Don’t know what any of those things are? You will…

DISCLAIMER: This article is not suitable for people with lactose intolerance. If you are likely to shit yourself at the mere mention of a dairy product, we suggest you close this tab and instead elect to read something less likely to make you nauseous, like Naked News Network.

Humble Beginnings

Dairy has been a cornerstone of Vdaran culinary history ever since around 9500 BCE, around 500-1000 years after mainlanders in nearby Anatolia first domesticated goats and cattle. It took a wee while longer for the farmers and shepherds to figure out what exactly to do with the white liquid that emerged, at least beyond drinking it, but eventually they accidentally discovered that milk, when stored too long, would curdle into cheese, thus bringing about a new era for those poor, cheese-less sods. Once word got around the islands that there was such a thing as Πυριατή (cheese), the ancient Vdarans went absolutely wild, grating it into wine, eating it on its own, or eating it with leaves and berries. While archaeological evidence has been somewhat slim in this area, written anecdotes from historians such as Herodotus and Cytorissos have shown that ancient Vdaran cheesemongers often wrapped their cheeses with goat stomachs to retain freshness, with the dish τυλιγμένο γάλα (wrapped milk) being a variant of this wherein farmers would bite through the fleshy stomach into the cheesy goodness, instead of taking the time to untie it. Similar variants exist today, but with significantly better hygienic processes. Intriguingly, ancient Vdaran dietary habits shunned butter, preferring other carbohydrate lubricants such as olive oil. Butter was deemed as a barbaric foodstuff from the northern Hellenic regions, and thus used to insult Thracians and Macedonians whenever their merchants arrived in the Chania port. Evidence of this was found by archaeologists in an ancient graveyard a few miles south of Chania, where a tombstone was inscribed with “Here lies Phancis of Rodos. A fine tradesman, chronic masturbator, and worst of all a butter-muncher, Phancis tried and failed to bring his inferior milk products to these fine islands.” The earliest-known forms of cheeses in Vdara resembled the popular feta cheese, being crumbly and tangy, but accounts from 3000 BCE suggest that by then Vdarans had figured out how to produce softer, more spreadable cheeses – perfect on a wee bit of bread. Over the next few millennia, hard cheeses also became popularised, as did cow’s milk (albeit sheep and goat milk remained preferred by the majority of Vdarans), and it is said that in the ninth century, a feudal lord in Valletta was murdered by the island’s cheesemongers for trying to ban the production of a certain hard cheese, Κεφαλοτύρι (Kefalotiri), which remains popular today.

Venetian Influence

Sometime in the twelfth century, a Venetian merchant sampled a piece of cheese, considering it so good that he immediately proposed that the Doge of Venice try it. Upon tasting the cheese, the Doge decided that such cheesemaking ability had to be incorporated into the Venetian mercantilist republic, thus beginning the Venetian invasion and occupation of Vdara. This, of course, is merely an old wives’ tale which has been passed down across generations, but we like to believe that there’s at least a small element of truth to it. Nevertheless, cheese became an important component of Venetian Vdara’s economy, with Vdaran cheese being exported across the Mediterranean and Adriatic. In return, cheesemongers were introduced to mainland European cheeses and cheesemaking techniques, particularly those with greater percentages of cow’s milk. Side note: absolutely no idea how we’ve managed to go this long without mentioning yoghurt, but this too was enjoyed by Venetian occupiers, particularly with honey. Anyways, these influences resonate today, with spices and other ingredients introduced during this time period still prevalent in modern Vdaran cheese production. While everything was progressing smoothly, the Ottoman Empire, presumably jealous that Vdarans had stolen their cheese-making thunder (or, well, simply expanding their territory for the sake of empire), captured Vdara from the Venetians, bringing about a new era for dairy in Vdara…

Ottoman Influence

Welcome to the fifteenth century! As it just so happened, the creation of the Eyalet (Turkish for ‘province’) of Vdara enabled them to have their own Sultan, who was just a little baby sultan compared to the big boy sultan in Constantinople. However, even better fortunes were to come for the new Ottoman province, as it turned out that mainland Ottoman people went fucking crazy for goat’s cheese. Like, utterly mental. They won’t tell you about the Cheese Riots of 1582, but trust me when I tell you that these were real. This was caused by a declaration from Sultan Ömar Al-Rumanat stating that Vdara’s very own crumbly, tangy cheese could only be exported to Constantinople and beyond under the name ‘beyaz peynir’, which caused Vdaran cheesemongers to go on strike. The loss of supply of Vdara’s finest goat's cheese caused mass hysteria among Ottoman cheese enthusiasts, and many were killed in their quest to bring about a return of Vdaran goat’s cheese. In the end, Ömar Al-Rumanat relented, only to die two years later, leading to his nickname as Ömar the Cheese Thief. His successor, Haşim II Al-Rumanat, suggested that Vdaran cultural traditions not be violated for fear of further cheese riots, and such a mistake was never made again. Thus, the Vdaran Eyalet thrived on cheese exports to the Constantinople market and beyond, with many of the great city’s artisanal cheesemakers honing their craft in Chania, Irakleio, and other Vdaran cheese hubs. Indeed, records show that the Constantinople market’s most popular cheese at times was ‘Hanya peyniri’, literally ‘cheese from Chania’, known for its distinct nutty taste and bite, as well as the patterns created by the drying process. It was during this time that some cheesemakers began to carve ornate patterns into these cheeses, which further cemented Vdara’s place in the world as a cheese hub for peasantry, royalty, and everyone in between. Benevolent Ottoman rule allowed Vdara to thrive economically, and by the seventeenth century, nearly a third of Vdaran agricultural production was cheese-based. Not just dairy, but cheese. Frankly, the fact it was possible to have such a simple product become a keystone of a nation’s economy was astounding, so much so that Crete was nicknamed ‘cheese island’ by historians of the era. As the nineteenth century began, a shake-up of power significantly weakened Vdara’s positive position within the Ottoman Empire, with harsh levies being (unjustly) placed on Vdaran cheesemongers. With profits dwindling and the once-mighty empire somewhat on its knees, the nation’s people had only a few options on the table: wait for a mighty foreign power to once more occupy them into their colonial empire, tough it out with the Ottomans, or go it alone for the first time in seven centuries.

Dairy in a Liberated Vdara

The choice was obvious. A free Vdara emerged, finally done with suckling the teat of foreign powers (or, rather, BEING the teat for two empires), and ready to take its cheese to the world. One problem: the milk was still killing people. Oh, does that come as a shock? We didn’t mention the milk killing people? That seems like a pretty big omission! Why didn’t we mention the milk killing people? Well, reader, that was just a thing milk could do. The milky goodness we enjoy today – and indeed, which was widely enjoyed across the world despite this – was rife with bacteria, and could easily lead to the spread of diseases such as tuberculosis and milkmania. If you are unfamiliar with the latter, don’t worry, such a thing seems to be unique with Vdaran goat’s milk, and likely comes from the Cretan and Cypriot fauna (which gets munched by goats) occasionally containing bacterial hallucinogens which cause the brain to go berzerk. Come to think of it, this could be why the Ottomans and Venetians went so crazy for our goat’s milk... Nevertheless, the introduction of pasteurisation by a very clever man meant that foreigners no longer had to worry about being drugged by our tasty goat, sheep, and cow milk, and Vdaran dairy once more began to take the world by storm. Once the twentieth century rolled around, Vdaran cheesemongers were stealing and repurposing recipes from around the world like it was nobody’s business, including the now-staple cheese for many of the nation’s cheese enthusiasts – graviera. Sounds a bit like ‘gruyere’, right? Correct! We stole it. Completely ripped it off, except because it's made with Vdaran milk we can pass it off as our own. Folk absolutely love it, apart from those in the nation it was stolen from, who claim graviera to be a ‘vastly inferior product’ to the ‘real thing’. Naturally, they are talking out of their arse, as it has been previously established that Vdaran cheesemakers are really, really good at what they do – and for good reason. Much like the Scots, even if we didn’t inherently create something first, Vdarans are very quick to perfect someone else’s rudimentary creation, give it a much better name, and publicise themselves to the world as the true inventors and purveyors. Some people may frown upon that, to which many would likely respond ‘git gud’. You simply must bow down to our cheesy might. You’re probably eating Vdaran cheese right now, aren’t you? I see the piece of feta in your hand. Didn’t anybody tell you it was rude to eat while you read, in case you get greasy little feta bits on the pages?

The Modern Day

Naturally, societal industrialisation and a general shift away from agricultural habits has meant that cheesemongery is no longer as profitable or desirable as it once was, having become more of a familial thing passed down from generation to generation. Vdaran diaspora across the multiverse continue to be the best at making cheese, with modern-day Istanbul and Venice still retaining large numbers of Vdaran cheese shops. Enough about cheese, though. There’s far more to dairy than just cheese, something the Vdaran government of the 1950s stressed in its much-mocked ‘Program for Economic Growth and Prosperity’. You see, with agriculture decreasing in importance as an economic sector, and many farmers and their families having moved into the nation’s cities to take advantage of the rapid industrialisation, dairy production was down 26% from 20 years prior, which left many fearing for the future of Vdaran dairy dominance. In response, the government included a secret project in its program which was, somehow, going to drastically increase milk production without affecting the number of milk-producing animals (cows, sheep, goats). Prior crop modification experiments had lacked the desired results, but a mental scientist by the name of Panayiotis Mikoulis, with his degree in biochemistry, had proposed a crazy plan which, should it succeed, would result in absurdly large levels of milk being produced from only a minor change to the cattle stock. Was it ethical? Debatable. Was it successful? Also debatable. Dr. Mikoulis’ masterplan was to cross-breed the native Orinis Kritis cow, which is well-suited to Crete’s mountainous terrain, with the South Newlandian Fatboy cow, known for its ability to produce vast quantities of milk. Despite the fact that Dr. Mikoulis was previously banned from South Newlandia for suggesting the affront to nature which was the ‘Elliecow’ – you can probably guess which animals he wanted to crossbreed – he managed to get some Fatboys imported, and the science began. Deeming these new breeds as the ‘Vdaran Micowlis’, early attempts failed miserably as they were unable to adapt to both the Vdaran climate and terrain. Further attempts eventually generated a Micowlis which could withstand such conditions, but which produced pitifully small amounts of milk. Several more attempts and affronts to nature later, the first successful Micowlis was born, named Persephone. Initially retained as a secret until such effects could be replicated, Persephone the Cow appeared to be the solution to the nation’s dairy problem – she could produce milk like nobody’s business, thriving in the conditions. This excited Dr. Mikoulis so much that he immediately got to work trying to do similar things to sheep and goats, declaring himself “God of Dairy”. Unfortunately for the God of Dairy, a government whistleblower disgusted by Mikoulis’ experiments elected to leak his plans to eco-terrorist organisation Φύλακες της Φύσης (Nature’s Guardians), who responded in kind by sending death threats to Dr. Mikoulis, smashing up his laboratory, and kidnapping Persephone. Dr. Mikoulis swiftly fled the country to pastures unknown, and Nature’s Guardians leaked Persephone’s existence to the press as part of an exposé on some of the insane things that the Vdaran government of the time were doing. Thus, the Micowlis project ended as an abject failure, and the government resigned as a result. Persephone herself would go on to live a long and prosperous life in a normal farm, winning ‘Cow of the Year’ five consecutive times. There were rumours that a similar project was successfully completed in West Vdara, but with Mikoulis’ whereabouts unknown, as well as the very limited flow of information to leave the separatist hermit state, such rumours are unfounded.

Modern Problems

The modern-day Vdaran dairy industry faces a variety of challenges, not least the continued reduction of its influence in the agricultural sector. The largest dairy conglomerate in the nation, VDairy, has gone on record to say that without drastic action, the dairy sector could be completely eviscerated by 2050, and that the nation will be entirely dependent on foreign cheeses and milks. Such claims have been rubbished by scientists who actually know what they’re talking about, but it is true that the sector is far smaller than it used to be, and continues to decrease in size and influence. Quite intriguingly, a farmer from Agios Nikolaos, seeking to take advantage of the ‘raw milk’ craze which swept right-wing circles during the Beaning period, began to sell milk of dubious legality – that is, milk which almost certainly causes milkmania, but labelled as ‘not fit for human consumption’ because right-wingers cannot read due to woke – to great success. Shockingly, the milk which was pasteurised in order to avoid killing people started to kill the people that drink it, and hospitalised thousands of idiotic raw milk enthusiasts who simply wanted to ‘own the libs by drinking the milk they don’t want you to drink’. These are the same people who didn’t want to be vaccinated for a preventable disease, but were perfectly happy to give themselves diseases and hallucinations. Work is underway in order to introduce legislation which prevents the sale of raw milk entirely, but farmer pressure groups, seeing the economic benefits of The Milk That Kills You, have responded by blocking roads in Chania in tandem with right-wingers. If you think this is stupid, you’re just a clueless leftie who doesn’t believe humans can make their own decisions without a nanny state staring down on them. Let the people die, I say. Natural selection is criminally underused, after all. Very Aristotelian.

Modern Solutions

We’re selling The Milk That Kills You. That’s right, we’re circumventing all logic and regulations in order to bring this product to you, the consumer. Even better, we’re selling The Cheese That Kills You and The Yoghurt That Kills You, just what the world needs. You best believe we’re milking this for all its worth, for as long as we can, until the bureaucrats and regulators come crashing down hard with the iron fist of safety. Tired of the state of the world? Drink The Milk That Kills You. Ostracised by your loved ones? Your friends? Your pets? Drink The Milk That Kills You. Forced to read an RP which is an affront to this forum? Drink The Milk That Kills You. We’re marketing The Milk That Kills You as both a ‘fuck you’ to stick it to the big man, Daddy Woke himself, and prove that you’re a big strong boy who can drink his own milk… and a tool to get away from responsibilities. For what it’s worth, The Milk That Kills You will not always kill you. It’s merely a disclaimer in case it does. Most of the time, it simply causes nausea, lucid dreams, and horrible, horrible hallucinations. If that isn’t enticing enough for you, what is? What, normal milk? Seriously? Ugh, there’s no pleasing some of you people…

We hope you’ve enjoyed this hotly anticipated, not-so-brief history and overview of Vdaran dairy. We know fine well that you’ve been looking forward to this all day, given how much interest there is in Vdaran milk, cheese, and yoghurt. Disappointingly, the next news to emerge from Vdara will likely be football-based. If this vexes you, do not hesitate to contact, and the Vdaran Daily Dairy Fairy will wave her magic wand and place further information in your inbox. Otherwise, we hope the next instalment of Markos' Misadventures brings you joy. Peace out, cheese chums.

[West Vdara]

We can neither confirm nor deny the existence of a supercow within our borders, nor can we confirm nor deny that we are harbouring Comrade- I mean, Dr. Mikoulis. Indeed, if we did own such a cow, we would hail it as an ideological victory, and proof that perseverance against capitalist bigwig sanctions is possible. Until then, we shall allow you silly globalists to speculate.

[Solgavden]

 Cassadaigua (CDG)  vs.  Solgavden (SGD) 
@ Ferguson Stadium, Rutland (63,977 attd.)

GOALS
1 - 3
R. Mishra 9' (SGD)
E. Wisniewski 18' (CDG)
K. Tennefjord 55' (SGD)
K. Tennefjord 73' (SGD)

SHOTS
18 - 23

SHOTS ON TARGET
7 - 10

POSSESION
47% - 53%

PASSES
302 - 344

FOULS
5 - 9

YELLOW CARDS
0 - 0

RED CARDS
0 - 0

CORNERS
7 - 10

 Solgavden (SGD)  vs.  Solarampa 
@ Manakrona Arts Stadium, Trondhelle (41,945 attd.)

GOALS
1 - 3
J. Day 22' (Solarampa)
S. Halvorsan 41' (SGD)
L. Stenberg 62' (SGD)
K. Roenfeldt 71' (SGD)

SHOTS
24 - 17

SHOTS ON TARGET
10 - 8

POSSESION
52% - 48%

PASSES
382 - 389

FOULS
12 - 7

YELLOW CARDS
1 - 0
K. Roenfeldt 69' (SGD)

RED CARDS
0 - 0

CORNERS
11 - 7

 Cardonia vs.  Solgavden (SGD) 
@ A Stadium, Somewhere in Cardonia (A Group of People attd.)

GOALS
1 - 2
K. Tennefjord 49' (SGD)
J. Lind 74' (SGD)
XXXX 86' (Cardonia)

SHOTS
11 - 27

SHOTS ON TARGET
3 - 9

POSSESION
41% - 59%

PASSES
306 - 398

FOULS
11 - 9

YELLOW CARDS
1 - 0
XXXX 51' (Cardonia)

RED CARDS
0 - 0

CORNERS
6 - 8

 Windows 7 Bliss vs.  Solgavden (SGD) 
@ A Stadium, Somewhere in Windows 7 Bliss (A Group of People attd.)

GOALS
2 - 3
S. Halvorsan 24' (SGD)
XXXX 35' (W7B)
S. Halvorsan 52' (SGD)
XXXX 66' (W7B)
H. Ossler 87' (SGD)

SHOTS
12 - 30

SHOTS ON TARGET
5 - 11

POSSESION
44% - 56%

PASSES
342 - 408

FOULS
12 - 10

YELLOW CARDS
0 - 0

RED CARDS
0 - 0

CORNERS
3 - 7

 Solgavden (SGD)  vs.  Igratia (IGR) 
@ Harald Kistner Memorial Stadium, Lysborg (73,964 attd.)

GOALS
3 - 0
S. Halvorsan 14' (SGD)
L. Stenberg 55' (SGD)
M. Kurosawa 83' (SGD

SHOTS
26 - 17

SHOTS ON TARGET
13 - 9

POSSESION
61% - 39%

PASSES
433 - 291

FOULS
6 - 3

YELLOW CARDS
1 - 0
J. Lind 43' (SGD)

RED CARDS
0 - 0

CORNERS
9 - 4

Do You Believe In Miracles?
Prologue | Part 1
Part 2

It was a crisp autumn day in Roslund, and fans were already pouring into Astermark Park for the Roslund Mirakaler’s first game of the 2008-09 Kongensliga season. Both manager Emil Vardaman and captain Ben Keppler gave speeches in the locker room before the match, with Vardaman focusing on the technical aspects the team needs to focus on, and Keppler giving the kind of rousing talk that would make the most stoic player want to run through a brick wall. Season openers against a rival always drew a large crowd, and this year was no exception, with over 40,500 fans packing into historic Astermark Park like sardines. Esteemed dignitaries were also in attendance, including then mayor Susanna Laursan, actor Huzaifa Skov, and the members of the Roslund Mirakaler board, most of whom being influential representatives of Roslund’s business community. Suffice to say, winning this match is crucial if Roslund wants to set the tone early in the season.

They will be facing Relv Sisse, a team that’s based in Birkeby, just 18 kilometers southeast of Roslund. While the team is newer compared to Roslund, being founded almost thirty years later, the two have butted heads numerous times, with their proximity only fuelling their rivalry even more. Relv Sisse is known for their aggressive style of play, often erring on the side of reckless. While this has brought Relv Sisse success over the decades and a loyal group of supporters that are addicted to their exciting style of play, this has also brought the team a lot of enemies, with Roslund being one of them. If you ask a Roslund Mirakaler fan when they started to hate Relv Sisse, their answer would often depend on which generation they belonged to.

A fan alive before the 1960s would point to the 1966 KH4 Cup Semifinal, where Relv Sisse, would pummel the Mirakaler by a score of 8-1, despite Roslund being the favorites to advance. A fan who grew up during the 1980s would grimace remembering MD24 of the 1983-84 Kongensliga season, when Relv Sisse center back Hjalte Simonsan mistimed a leaping tackle against Roslund’s star striker Ronnie Iversan. The defender’s boot struck Iversan square in the face, breaking the striker’s nose and leaving him a bloody mess. Even though Simonsan claimed it to be an accident, the Mirakaler faithful didn’t buy it (I mean, it takes effort to get your foot that close to a man’s face). Despite Relv Sisse playing with ten men due to Simonsan being sent off, they still won handily 4-1, and this only enraged the home crowd even more. After the game, the Relv Sisse players had to be escorted out of the stadium by police as fans threatened to attack their bus. A younger fan around for the 08’-09’ season remembers just a couple years prior, when Relv Sisse poached star defender Felix Tjäder from the team, with it being later revealed that he was approached before the transfer window was open, a breach of Kongensliga regulations. In spite of the outcry from Mirakaler fans, Relv Sisse were never punished for their infraction, and most fans would remind you that the Executive Director of the Kongensliga was a former Relv Sisse player.

There was bad blood between these two teams, and a win for either of them would boost their confidence greatly in the upcoming season. Unfortunately for Roslund, they started off on their back foot, letting in two Relv Sisse goals in the first twenty minutes. Relv Sisse were determined to start the game off as aggressively as possible, and they caught Roslund’s defense off guard, with center back Dominic Straub failing to get on the ball in time to stop the first goal, and young goalkeeper Hugo Krebs misreading the shot from Relv Sisse’s striker, leading to the ball sailing past Krebs’ outstretched fingers and into the back of the net. Luckily, Roslund claimed a goal for themselves before the half, with Adrian Claeys letting off a heater of a shot outside the box and past the goalkeeper, his first ever goal playing for Roslund. The crowd erupted back to life as the team clings onto life, and they remain hopeful as the whistle sounded for halftime soon after. But while fans flooded concession stands nearby raving about Claeys’ goal, the team knew they had an uphill battle if they were to salvage the game. To Vardaman, the team’s struggles mirrored a lot of last year’s: failure to keep possession, failure to counter press when they did lose possession, and giving the Relv Sisse strikers too much space to operate. But he also saw hints of the team improving before his eyes, including the sequence which lead to Adrian’s goal that featured everything he tried to drill into the player’s heads: fluid transition from defense to offense, experienced midfielders Robert Braun and Ben Keppler serving as an anchor for the team, leading to forwards and defenders having more flexibility in their roles. The field opened up substantially for the team, with a quick succession of short passes marching right up to the Relv Sisse goal, only for Claeys to bury it in as soon as the ball reached him. Every player was acting in sync, moving as one unit, with the quick passes making it difficult for the opposing defense to get a read on which player they should focus on. The results were devastating, as although Relv Sisse got a goal of their own in the second half, Roslund went on to score almost three goals unanswered with Theo Granath sealing the game with a beautiful shot at the 90th minute, winning 4-3 to start their season.

The city of Roslund hasn’t felt a victory like that in a long time, and the fans in attendance took their sweet time to leave Astermark Park, saying chants and singing the team’s praises long after the match ended. The team themselves were in good spirits after their upset win versus their bitter rivals, with captain Ben Keppler offering to buy the team a round of drinks for their valiant efforts. Vardaman himself couldn’t escape the lively mood that seemed to seep into every corner of the locker room, and he also offered to chip in for the round of drinks. Yet despite his good mood, a thought lurked in the back of his mind that troubled him: this was a good win, but our play was still sloppy, we need to shape up if we want to compete this year. The voices in his head seemed to be right after all, as Roslund would come crashing back down to earth in a 2-3 loss against Abelvorden Striders away. The people of Roslund let out a collective sigh, and went back to living their lives, already content with the Mirakaler only having their scheduled “one good win” a year. Yet, something peculiar happened instead, after drawing against Trondhelle, Roslund won, and again, and again…and again. The team had a four game winning streak until they lost 2-3 against Torkola Village in MD8, the first time Roslund did so since 2002. During the streak, every single game looked better than the last, with the team growing together in real time. Before their loss to Torkola, Roslund won a 5-4 shooting match against Olympisk Kolvereid which featured the first hat trick in the entire Kongensliga, with Theo Granath bagging three goals before being subbed off in the 65’. What truly shocked the league was that Granath was a wingback, and not really expected to contribute offensively like that. Yet he did, and other defenders on the team did as well, with even defender Kris Holzer securing a brace in MD5. After ten games, the Roslund Mirakaler had a record of 6-1-3, good enough to rank fourth, three points outside the three-way tie for first. At this point, most knew that Roslund was serious in their attempt to compete in the league, but if they wanted to break into the top tier of the Kongensliga, they’ll have to compete with the very best of the league. This includes Kosmo Lunaris, a powerhouse in the 90s who still had a deadly offense, the well balanced Limmiera FC, and their main rival, the ever present, always dominant Rega Lysborg, who they’ll hope to survive against in their next match at Astermark Park.

Kongensliga 08'-09'           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Rega Lysborg                10    7   1   2    32   15  +17    22   Champions
 2 Limmiera FC                 10    7   1   2    23   15   +8    22
 3 Kosmo Lunaris               10    6   4   0    29   20   +9    22
 4 Roslund Mirakaler           10    6   1   3    25   22   +3    19
 5 Walsbruck FK                10    5   1   4    23   17   +6    16
 6 De Vursen FK                10    4   4   2    20   17   +3    16
 7 Torkola Village FK          10    5   0   5    19   21   −2    15
 8 Elvern Kavaleri FK          10    4   3   3    14   13   +1    15
 9 Vennesberg United           10    4   2   4    12   11   +1    14
10 Othlesse-Surlin United      10    4   2   4    15   15    0    14
11 1903 Iserholm               10    4   1   5    24   19   +5    13
12 Relv Sisse                  10    3   4   3    21   23   −2    13
13 Helager FK                  10    2   5   3     9    9    0    11
14 CF Orlisia                  10    2   4   4    19   24   −5    10
15 Abelvorden Striders         10    2   2   6    13   25  −12     8
16 Olympisk Kolvereid          10    1   4   5    20   29   −9     7
17 Wittenheim Athletyck        10    1   3   6    12   19   −7     6   Relegation to SFL-1
18 Trondhelle Stags            10    1   2   7    11   27  −16     5   Relegation to SFL-1

---

And now, the present day...

After their upset win against Farfadillis, Solgavden proceeded to go on a five game winning streak, shocking even the most ardent Solgavish fan. De Rega Röda cruised through these matches with relative ease, although disaster struck in the MD10 game versus Windows 7 Bliss. In the 53rd minute, after catching a shot from a Windows 7 Bliss striker, veteran goalkeeper Gunny Kristoffersan went to quickly transition into kicking the ball back up midfield. In doing so, he overextended his right leg, and he quickly fell to the ground writhing in pain. Play was stopped, and luckily Kristoffersan was able to walk off the pitch under his own power, to the applause of Solgavish and Windows 7 Bliss fans alike. Backup goalkeeper, Frederik Voll, stepped in for Kristoffersan and finished the game in his place, giving a serviceable performance where he only let in one goal. Thankfully, Kristoffersan was only diagnosed with a hamstring sprain, and should look to return in the coming weeks. In his place, Frederik "Voll the Wall" proved why he is the best goalkeeper in the Kongensliga, and why earned the Rüdiger Award for his performance last season with Vennesberg United. In his first full start of his World Cup campaign, Voll netted a clean sheet against Igratia, and looked almost impenetrable for the entire game.

While Solgavish fans breathe a sigh of relief that their goalkeeping future is secure, the team looks forward to their next match against Farfadillis, which looks to be make or break for the team. Should Solgavden steal any points from Farfadillis, they could still have a chance at qualifying for the centenary edition of the World Cup. Should Farfadillis win, the 9th ranked team in the multiverse looks bound to steamroll the rest of their competition, claiming the second qualification spot instead. The team themselves dread traveling into Farfadillis, which has a constant "red" rating to travelers from the Royal Foreign Office and a description boiling down to just: "why?". Yet, the team will have to steel their nerves, as their MD13 contest looks to be one of the most important matches in the history of the Solgavish National Team, as qualification to their first World Cup hangs in the balance.

[Ethane]

Renegades Amongst Us

The Ethanian national team recently played a match in Tristan de Cunha, the remotest island in the world. With travel times at 6 days or more, and an expected turn around time of 8 days, the players knew this would be an ordeal. They needed a way to pass the time. Inspired by the recent hit reality TV show, the Renegades, the players decided to spend their time on transport and in Ethane playing their own version of this game. Split across the MFV Edinburgh and MFV Lance, the players were also split into two teams building up prize pots and 'favours' that could be won by either the Renegades or the Devout depending on who was left in the 'final'. Some of the prizes that were decided upon included a bar tab of £100, a week of cooked meals, a set of new boots, and camera equipment.

Aboard the MFV Edinburgh
Players: Edward Harris, Samuel Baker, Alexander Thomas-Brown, Henry Roberts, Lucas Johnson, Thomas Ashford, Ethan Brooks, Dylan Sullivan, Noah Benjamin-Wilson, George Knutton, Damian Rushbrooke, Oliver Thompson

Aboard the MFV Lance
Daniel Murphy, Isaac Evans, Henry Beckett, William Harrington, George Wilson, Mason Hayes, Liam White, Aiden Nicholas, Luke McLaughlin, Cameron Tace, William Davies, Jack Roberts

The game started with everyone being a 'devout'. The early goal was to build up a prize pot. Each player had gifted a prize to the management (Oliver Thompson and William Davies). The national team and government had also donated some prizes to the potential prize pot. Each team then had to complete tasks to win these rewards and add them to the prize pot. It was likely that every prize was not going to be won, as 100% in every prize challenge would be difficult.

Many of the initial tasks were limited in scope, considering the arena in which they were being completed. These challenges were being completed in the cabins and the decks of a low-capacity ship transporting 1732 miles from Cape Town. They were, after all, heading to the world's most remote island in Tristan de Cunha, so the challenges were limited in scope.

A lot of the challenges were board-game based, with games such as chess and Risk providing a lot of the templates for these challenges. To win prizes, teams had to complete certain 'objectives' in these games. Additionally, the Ethanian management had created a couple of 'escape-room' style tasks for the players to complete and team-build in preparation for the matches, with gameplay occurring throughout player's cabins and the deck (with permission from the captain, on the proviso that the players would stay out of the way when necessary). One particular challenge that was popular amongst the players was a timed Sardines/Hide and seek challenge, in which either Oliver Thompson or William Davies hid somewhere on the ship, and prizes were awarded depending on how long it took for all players to find the manager or assistant manager.

Throughout all the prize challenges, the Devout managed to win about 80% of the prizes on offer which would go towards the collective prize pool that would be formed after both teams combined upon arrival in Tristan de Cunha. The remaining prizes were put aside, to be offered as a reward to the highest goal scorer and overall best player for the World Cup qualification campaign, of which they were now into the second half of.

The players commented that it helped them with developing their team work and keeping themselves cognitively active during a time when that cognitive work rate could slip and mental fatigue could have borne on them. It's certainly not ideal preparation for a key international fixture in world cup qualification campaigns, but it is the necessity for reaching Tristan de Cunha and the team were able to manage this isolation effectively.

Arrival in Tristan de Cunha

Upon their arrival in Tristan de Cunha, the prize pots of both teams of Devout were combined to create one large prize pot to be won by Renegade or Devout at the end of the game upon their departure from this remote island.

Crucially for the first team, 'privileges' were introduced into the game for the best players in the team. This was taken as inspiration from the most recent Renegades season on ENTV Channel 1, broadcast about 5 months before. ENTV were collaborating with the Ethanian football team to introduce the concept of privileges before they were brought into series 5 of the Renegades show, due to be broadcast a month after the Ethanian game against Tristan de Cunha.

The privileges worked as such for the football team.

With the teams split into two, the group of Devout that had contributed the most to the prize pot would be rewarded a 'privilege' in the game. These privileges were random, but could include some of the following powers ranked in likeliness according to the following severity: a free 'blessing' to avoid their banishment to hell for any night of their choice; a sabotage to remove the 'blessing' of another player; a 'boost' which could change the vote of another player at the spiritual mound (round table); an 'investigator' power that allowed them to check the identity of any player; an 'executioner' power that allowed them to banish one player to hell, although the player banished would not reveal their identity as Devout or Renegade. Of the more powerful privileges, only 1-2 of them were included in the game. These privileges were available for the teams that raised the most prize money on the boats during the journey to Tristan de Cunha. They were also awarded for best performers on prize tasks in Tristan de Cunha. They were also awarded for sports-based competency performances, such as the best player in each training session, and the best player left in the game in the actual qualification match against Tristan de Cunha. The more privileges you won, the more likely you could be successful, but the more likely people were to find you suspicious and potentially call for your ex-communcation at the spiritual mound every evening.

You can find episode one of the Ethanian Football Renegade Series on ENTV Player, and clips can be found on most mainstream social media platforms. Keep an eye out for episode 2 to come out in 3 days time, and keep up to date with the football team as they complete challenges and face off against Tristan de Cunha in a crucial world cup qualification match on the remotest island in the world.

---

Ethane stays consistent to keep top position - key games coming up.

Ethane took 6 out of 6 to stay top of group 16 as the teams come into crunch time in the world cup qualification race.

Valladares was the first game in the window, and the Red Kites were confident this was a game they could comfortably win. Having picked up the win in Valladares, with Thomas-Brown scoring an excellent goal, the expectation was that they would feel even more comfortable playing at the King Edward IV Stadium in Ethane. This was true, with a comfortable 5-0 win at home to show for it. Rushbrooke was a key figure with a brace in the match, Ashford providing solid offensive support up the wing with the pressure on defence let up in a match that provided little spectacle beyond the dominance of the Red Kites. The whole team chipped in, Roberts scoring his own goal via a header off a corner, comfortably beating the Valladares defence.

The away game against Tristan de Cunha perhaps provided the bigger challenge. The most remote island on the world, a 6 day journey by a small boat to reach the island. This was not ideal preparation and would restrict the cognitive and mental capacity of the players. In the end, it didn't matter and Ethane were able to come away with a crucial, albeit tight, win. In the end, it was the substitute, Cameron Tace, who provided the magic to win it in the latter half of the second half of the game. This was a crucial goal that kept the lead for Ethane at the top of the group at 3 points.

The Commonwealth of Baker Park and Riandera continue to nip at the heels of the Red Kites' qualification chances though. CPB is only 3 points behind, and Riandera only 4 points behind. With games coming up away against Riandera and at home against the Commonwealth of Baker Park in the next three matches, as well as a game at home against Elmyia, there are some crucial results that will impact who qualifies, and who doesn't. With Saterun, but especially Riandera, starting to fade, it appears this will be a three horse race. Can the Red Kites win out?

[Dhemixia]

---

Cutbank

The nation of Dhemixia is a collective 2-11 in any sport's playoff games or series. One of those wins was in the first round of NSCF, and the other was in a meaningless 3PPO in a 10-nation BoF. Pretty awful right? Cutbank embodies that.

You'd already imagine from the name that Cutbank isn't exactly the most important borough in Columbus. It's not even named for something actually representing the borough either, just the fact that it happens to be in the place of a geographic feature that has a name.

A cutbank, commonly also called a cut bank, is an area of a river causing it to meander and exaggerate its curves due to extreme erosion into the bank of the river, hence the water is "cutting away" the bank. This happens because the faster portion of the river on the inside of the curve will slam into the edge with that force and further cause the curve's angle to get steeper, resulting in more water slamming into it and an exponential cycle of rapid erosion.

Although it was named because that's what the borough physically represented as the first cutbank you hit in urban Columbus, the name Cutbank is more accurate as a metaphor for what the community's experienced.

The story begins around the same time that Cantilever was starting up, just when Brigantine's ports were becoming the hot commodity. A couple of dockworkers in Brigantine thought, "Hey, that's a neat idea, but what if we undercut the most popular port and got stuff on land quicker? Everyone would flock to our port instead and we'd get rich!". On paper it's a sound idea, but they were, in fact, not that good at understanding geographical features. The two didn't exactly know that the reason nobody had built where Cutbank is was because boats trying to dock would crash into the port daily, and they just bought the cheapest parcel of land in that area.

Two years and hundreds of dock repairs later, they'd start to figure that out.

Around that time, prospective dockworkers began to set up shop right outside the dock and would inadvertently begin the borough of Cutbank. Hundreds flocked to the area in search of stable wages, and that generally meant that most (if not all) of the development was happening right there on the coast and neglecting the rest of the borough. Fast forward to the modern day, and that's still the truth. The further inland you get, the less developed the borough becomes, leading to tight apartments and small alleyways migrating from Brigantine to Cutbank.

Worse yet, most of these people lost it all in the hunt for a job. With trading vessels not knowing how to navigate docking at that part of the river, hundreds of inexperienced captains would end up smashing into docks and homes on the coast year-round. In addition, thievery was rampant in the borough, as most unemployed people would wait by the river for a boat to crash in the hopes of securing some of the cargo on board that would spill out onto the coast.

This was an extremely unsustainable environment, and it just began recovering from that reputation recently.

The scars on the buildings may be gone, but the borough will always remember them.

Back when The Outbox League needed a fourth Dhemixian team, the FA decided to award it to Cutbank to try to revitalize the borough and lend it some hope. Thus, the aptly corporatized "Columbus Constrictors" were born right there in Cutbank. It was the first real communal thing that the borough had honestly ever, and they couldn't even celebrate it for long. In accordance with the pattern that Cutbank will always be a borough that's constantly eroding and having tons of obstacles slam into it almost perpetually, so too are the Constrictors one of them. In three seasons in TOL, their top finish is 11th of 14, and they've got no hope for a future.

At almost every turn, the borough is faced with adversity that it often succumbs to. Much like a real cutbank, the Dhemixian Cutbank tells a story of constant destruction in a time of attempted rebuilding. The borough seemingly can't get anything to go right for it, and it's at this point that you begin to wonder how it all went this wrong in the first place. It's forever a punishment to the hubris and greed of two common men who already had a living wage and wanted more.

[Eastfield Lodge]

WC100Q MD11: Santira 0–1 Eastfield Lodge
Line-up (4-2-3-1): O’Sullivan - Vohra, Kirkup, Phelan (<> Fevison 75’), St Cleer - Forde, Farrow - Caceres, Jafari-Law (<> Hackett 75’), Scripps (<> Lysander 64’) - Holdsworth (<> Noble 64’)
Goals (Assists): Noble (90+3’ [p])
Headline: Noble penalty saves Eastfielder’s qualification hopes against stubborn Santirans

WC100Q MD12: Eastfield Lodge 3–1 Natanians and Nosts
Line-up (4-2-3-1): O’Sullivan - Webber, Kirkup (<> Vohra 67’), Fevison (<> Phelan 79’), St Cleer - Forde (<> Mordecai 79’), Farrow (<> Dinwoodie 67’) - Caceres, Jafari-Law, Lysander - Holdsworth (<> Noble 45’)
Goals (Assists): Lysander (2’ - Holdsworth, 32’ - Webber, 68’ - Noble)
Headline: Paisley gamble pays off with a hat-trick

The latest international break featured two very different matches for the Imperial Commonwealth fans to dissect, as the Lodgers continued to hold their fragile qualification hopes together. First off, the team travelled to Santira, the sixth seeds that had provided the first set of points of the qualifying campaign. There were a couple of changes from the side that exacted revenge from Salagalu the previous fixture, with Boet Caceres returning to the starting eleven after being rested, whilst Zakaria Webber had been suspended for yellow card accumulation, allowing Oliviah Vohra her first appearance in the international team this campaign. Santira, who were soundly beaten 3-0 at Tavernia Stadium in the first half of qualifying, came into their home leg against the group’s top seeds clearly looking to grind out a result of any kind, setting up in a bizarre and defensive 6-3-1 formation, four centre-backs and two defensive midfielders meaning business. It worked, Ko-orenite neutrals rejoicing as defenders blocked any route forward to goal, with neither side even registering a serious attempt on goal for the first 15 minutes of the game. Indeed, the Santiran striker’s average positioning for the first half didn’t even pass the edge of the centre circle inside his own half.

In the end, this match was very much a test of patience and perseverance, and also a test of luck, to see whether the fates would write off the Imperial Commonwealth’s chances of a World Cup berth in this historic cycle or not. Certainly, some fans thought so when Holdsworth registered the visitors’ first shot on target half an hour into the match, a snatched shot on the turn narrowly tipped onto the post by the keeper. Others would point to Scripps having her deflected shot beat the keeper only for the ball to clatter off both posts before being collected on the line. Meogegiv rang the changes, to little avail - Lysander, the poster boy of the Lodgers side, managed to find half a yard of space right of the penalty spot, his shot also magnetised to the woodwork as it rang the crossbar. Not even set pieces proved lucky, Caceres beating the wall and the keeper from 30 yards, again only finding the woodwork. A goalless draw was on the horizon, along with an early exit from the World Cup, except for the cruel twist of fate in stoppage time, when the substitute centre-back hauled down Fidelina Noble in the box at a corner, which on replay looked extremely harsh. Noble stepped up, and also found the woodwork with her penalty, only to see it clatter into the back of the Santiran keeper and into the net as the final play of the match.

A drab, dreary, defensively frustrating match to open the international break, but that was followed by another dominant display at home against Natanians and Nosts, a side that historically has always proven to be a difficult opponent for the Lodgers to face, as evidenced in the opening leg of the campaign where the third seeds soundly defeated the Imperial Commonwealth on their own turf. Webber returned to the starting line-up after his suspension, with Rubeus Fevison replacing Mimi Phelan at right back to provide more attacking threat from defence. Paisley Lysander did return to the fold, replacing Rafeeda Scripps, and the Crossroads star proved her worth in spades by scoring an incredible hat-trick. The Lysander show started in the second minute of the match, N&N punting the ball forward to force a throw-in, only for Fevison to clear it long to Lysander, who in acres of space ran at the defence, played a simple 1-2 with Holdsworth before dinking the ball over the NandN captain Daniel Whitcliffe to open the scoring. She forced another couple of saves in the first half hour of the match, before doubling her tally with a backwards header, stretching her neck out to convert Webber’s back post header from a corner.

Holdsworth was forced off at half-time though, a questionable yellow card for simulation followed by the Stags striker pulling up on the halfway line with a bad nosebleed - reportedly, Meogegiv opted to give him the rest of the game off given the Lodger’s command of the game. Little changed with that substitution, Noble easily slotting in and continuing to lead the line as the hosts dominated, the Olympia striker herself narrowly missing out on the scoresheet as she blasted a pullback over the bar when she should have buried it. Jafari-Law also came close to scoring, as she broke through the offside trap with ease only to have her shot narrowly diverted wide by Whitcliffe. But in the end, Lysander completed her hat-trick in style, setting her up with a chip to the far side from the corner of the box where the former RGS talisman volleyed it home from a stupidly tight angle for what could be the best Eastfielder goal of the qualifying campaign. Natanians and Nosts did grab a consolation goal of their own, and probably one they deserved for at least trying to play on the front foot in this game, Sheldon Ubuntu netting in the 80th minute from the penalty spot after St Cleer was adjudged to have blocked Dmítri Mihai Dolgostor’s cross with his outstretched arm - luckily, the mistake did not prove to be costly, Meogegiv’s defensive changes doing enough to hold out for an important 3-1 win.

Likely line-up to play Khachen/Boring Paradise (4-2-3-1):
O’Sullivan - Webber, Kirkup, Fevison, Phelan - Mordecai, Farrow - Caceres, Jafari-Law, Lysander - Noble
Suspended: Holdsworth, Forde (accumulated yellows - will miss Khachen match)
Injured: N/A

[Langenia]

Noticias: Deportes Los Azules Draw Away Then Win At Home There was not much to say about the dull affair that was Langenia's away game against Ranoria. Los Azules would struggle to convert chances in the face of an ultra-defensive opponent that defended as a team and refused to allow any space for the Langenian attack to capitalize. One of the clearest chances of the game, a 22nd minute shot by striker Ricardo Antonio, would hit the post with the rebound being collected by Ranorian goalkeeper Linus Weidemann. Langenian forward Oscar Galindo would then see his 61st minute free kick hit the top of the goalpost and bounce into the stands. Despite the Langenians dominating possession the game would end in a 0-0 draw, the second draw with this scoreline between Langenia and Ranoria this qualifying cycle. The home game at the Diego Talaman Stadium in Aragon against 96th-ranked Vetrahjart was an entirely different affair with both teams scoring over eleven goals between them. In a wild first half that would end with a 4-2 scoreline in favor of Langenia Ricardo Antonio would open up the scoring with a free kick just outside the Vetrahjart box in the 16th minute. Winger Raul Guzman would follow 23 minutes into the game, dribbling past his marker on the left wing to cut inside on his dominant right foot and unleash a screamer that would bend past the Vetrahjart goalkeeper. Now 2-0 down, Vetrajhart would pull one back in the 31st minute with a header goal after the Langenians conceded a corner kick to the visitors. Los Azules were quick to respond to keep up the momentum with winger Samuel Esteban receiving the ball from Rafael Semprun in the midfield. Esteban would feint past an opposing center-back, moving in one direction and then another, to finally curl a long-range strike like Guzman's from his left foot in the 33rd minute. Oscar Galindo would increase the Langenian advantage to 4-1 in the 39th minute after finishing a pass from Guzman. Vetrahjart, now trying to fight to stay in the game, would respond with a powerful long-range shot from a midfielder in first-half stoppage time that Jose Angel had no chance of saving. By halftime, the scoreline was 4-2, with more yet to come. Los Azules would come out swinging at the start of the second half as defensive midfielder Alexis Jimenez tried his luck in the 47th minute with a long-range power shot of his own that beat the Vetrahjart goalkeeper to put the Langenians up 5-2. Very soon after, Oscar Galindo's shot being saved would force a Langenian corner kick in which Raul Antonio curled the ball for it to be headed in by defender Miguel Alejandro. With the scoreline now 6-2 in favor of Los Azules Vetrahjart would catch a snoozing Langenian defense off-guard in a quick counterattack, with a through ball penetrating the high line finished off by the opposing striker for a 6-3 scoreline. By this point in the game Langenian manager Adrian Costa began to deploy his substitutes from the bench to inject fresh energy and prevent a comeback by the visitors. Midfielder Nelson Isai would tap in a cross from winger Marvin Eliseo in the 67th minute, followed by winger Victor Hugo finishing off an assist by striker Francisco Villa in the 86th minute. The whistle would blow at the end of the match with an absolutely wild 8-3 scoreline in front of a celebrating Langenian home crowd. Pundits from Langenian sports media would almost universally praise the outing against 96th-ranked Vetrahjart, a team which many had expected to be a difficult competitor. An aggressive Langenian press would smother any counterattacks in the opposing half, forcing the visitors to defend the numerous shots Los Azules attempted. However, the earlier game against Ranoria raised cause for concern. The match indicated a struggle by the free-scoring Langenian attack to break down more defensive teams. It remains to be seen how well they will perform their toughest stretch of games yet, away against the Martian Independent Republic and at home against Kelssek, the latter which inflicted a crushing 6-2 defeat of Los Azules away. Langenia now sits at fourth in their group with 17 points from 11 matches. Upcoming Matches The Martian Independent Republic vs Langenia (away) Langenia vs Kelssek (home)

[Saint Eleanor]

OOC: Due to time constraints, I am only speedrunning G6 today, or at least trying to do so before I get cut off. As a reminder, I was overdue reportage from Matchdays 8-12 (with the annihilation of Norway-Sweden-Finland being MD8) prior to this cutoff.
Edited at 2340 GMT on November 10th because I forgot that the Roman for 90 was "XC" and not "LXXXX".

Group of Six meeting (XC) --- SAINT ELEANOR 10-1 Norway-Sweden-Finland
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Lydia Vickers [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Keith Barnett [ballot]
Location: The Sunlit Uplands (pub of Lydia's request, she likes it there); Atlas district, Saint Eleanor city, EXT

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!!!! I will leave it to YOUR FAVOURITE NEWSPAPER, or that one FOREIGN news website, for more details, but ONE GOAL EVERY NINE MINUTES is never to be sniffed at - even from a retired DEFENDER! Well done in particular to Izzy Bright, who almost got a hat-trick despite being subbed on for the real hat-trick hero Ian with fifteen minutes to go, and to Tina Falconer for not completely screwing up her brief. They get 11/10, everyone else is a solid 10.5 lest we take away from the scoreline

With such a comprehensive performances against Noway-Slideout-Finquals... ARE ANY CHANGES EVEN NECESSARY?

Me: "No"
Keith: "I'm the new guy but I'll have to say no. Maybe look at the defence a bit"
Cathy: "I think a full rotation would be necessary"
Lydia: "I agree"
GB: "We do need you on the team, Lydia"
Lydia: (makes the heart symbol with her fingers)
Stephen: "I can tell you're liking it here"
Keith: "Aren't we a few districts away from Whitehammer"
Lydia: "Free public transport helps!"
Me: "So are we just keeping things the same"
Stephen: "Yes we are"
Keith: "You're his dad, of course you're not bringing the fares back"
Stephen: "Ha"
Lydia: "Fine... don't change anything"
GB: "What's wrong?"
Lydia: "Nothing, I'm being melodramatic"
Keith: "Lydia is never melodramatic, don't be silly"
Me: "Just wait until I push for the reserves to come back when we're in a better position"
Cathy: "So Matchday 1 of the finals?"
Stephen: "Bridget was actually funny"

HOW TO PUT BYTHIA IN THE PITS
DON'T DIG TOO DEEP - SAME OLD SHOULD DO, PLUS SUBS IF NEEDED
THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE IS ALWAYS KEY - USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
MOST PEOPLE WILL HAVE WRITTEN OFF 10-1 AS A FLUKE RESULT
LET'S SHOW THEM THAT WE CAN GET THE JOB DONE AGAIN!

4-2-3-1:
_________ KIRSTI _________
TINA - LYDIA - DIANA - KEITH
___ MARIA - WUNDERBAR ___
__ LILY - GISKEN - NACLE ___
__________ IAN ___________

Reniira Clevinger absolutely did want to do this job today, don't listen to Stephen

Group of Six meeting (XCI) --- Bythia 1-8 SAINT ELEANOR
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Lydia Vickers [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Isabella Bright [ballot]
Location: Premium Coffee; Oaktree district, Saint Eleanor city, EXT

(This was not at the Army Headquarters' branch of Premium! Sorry!)

The summary of the meeting is that I asked for, and won, a reset of strategy - we are entering the second half of qualifiers, so a fresh set of minds will be needed! I hate to burst the bubble (most of you will joke about my job in the real world, a few of you will joke about my occasional propensity for bubblegum), but Pyazhnaya will surely be well aware of our recent tactics and could use them against us. Our circle has been won around - for once - to the idea that our traditional style of playing, done well and with one eye on chipping away at the opposition, will do better on its day than almost any other style of football.

Lydia sought to have Kirsti remain as the goalkeeper. While understandable - both sentimentally and practically - this idea was shot down on basis that the historic ties between Norrhem and Pyazhnaya would make PYA's attacks that bit more predictable. She's never played in Tikariot, unlike many of them, but the risk was seen to be too great and PYA seen as too strong and effective to be worth risking anyone other than Arielle.

I've been told I need to actually summarise the results of the match here. They were even more extraordinary than against Norway-Sweden-Finland, I'm grateful for yet another opportunity to have come on and gotten a goal, and with our position at the top of the table despite a few wobbles earlier, I think that any doubts have now been thoroughly exterminated as though they were vermin.

~Isabella

Group of Six meeting (XCII) --- Pyazhnaya 0-3 SAINT ELEANOR
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Lydia Vickers [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Graham Lawson [ballot]
Location: Goodman's Fish and Chips; New Bayside district, Saint Eleanor city, EXT

MAJOR MATCH EVENTS: Ohan 37, Bright 71, Morgan 75. This was almost a better-than-average World Cup group stage game, with an absence of drama and more of a feeling of security in the camp that I've been able to judge. In no way are we clear at the top of the group, however. Felaraneta did miss his penalty early in the second half, but this was not seen as a concern by anyone.


LESSONS LEARNED: The overriding opinion was that "we're better now than we used to be" (~ Graham), even with a relatively consistent application of our typical strategy that won't grab any headlines outside of either of the participating nations. The difference in class, quality, and stability between this game and the first game we played not only keeps us in a good position to qualify automatically, especially in such a competitive group, but demonstrates the impact that we can have on a regular basis. "I would say the impact we have against any team, but then it depends on how well we can exploit them" (~ Lydia). There was wariness around how applicable our performance here was to future results - "I think I've heard some weird things about Pyazhnaya, so this was the expected result" (~ Reniira) - but it is almost a formality to describe any good result as being a role-model performance at this point. The people who say such things do have a point: "we'd have 27 points by now if we performed like this every game" (~Cathy).


RECOMMENDATIONS: The Hares have been competent and could deliver yet another surprise result if we are not careful - or, as Himurajima demonstrated, even if we are. "We fielded the regular lineup with Tina, Gisken, and Lily in their places last time, so I think that could work again" (~ Lydia). On the other hand, "Woodsmere are even more desperate for a way in" (~ Reniira) and "while I think anyone would do well against Woodsmere, we should be more cautious about the teams right behind us" (~ Cathy). There's a narrow consensus in favour of retaining Kirsti, as it's likely we'll be needing her more and more in the coming years, but people are otherwise reluctant to make too many changes at this stage - "we have no Bridget and no certainty these days, any huge shakeups can wait for a while" (~ Graham). As a reminder, we will be returning to the known and loved 4-2-3-1 as follows: SUNDGREN; FALCONER, Vickers, Wilson, Curran; Matsuda, Morgan; EMMERSON, ALDRA, Ohan; Woodward.


MOVING FORWARD: I was helpfully reminded by Esther Launceston (who is happy, healthy, and pregnant) earlier that Saint Eleanor have made the World Cup for all four qualifying stages in which I've been the manager; there's a lot of hope that we can make that five out of five, but also enough uncertainty that it's run through this conversation a bit and Stephen and I will need to be mitigating that a bit in the coming days. Lydia - who is herself especially keen on the idea that virtually all of our opponents, even Norway-Sweden-Finland and Saint Lazarus, have been worthy foes that would more than hold their own in the final field of forty-eight - will be conducting the Woodsmere post-mortem.

~GB

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

CUTOFF
Qualifying stage MD13/14

[Bonusia]

Round 1: Bonusia 0-1 Moladea - L
@La Caravana, Op, Bonport, Bonusia
Round 2: Porotia 2-1 Bonusia - L
@Porotia
Round 3: (Friendly) Bonusia 3-3 Solgavden - D
@Estadi de la Unificació, Somorrosta, Detrívora, Bonusia
Round 4: Bonusia 0-0 United States of Nova Calania - D
@Inda' Regareka Bonusian Stadium, Kekla, Keklagara, Bonusia
Round 5: Bears Armed 0-1 Bonusia - W
@Bears Armed
Round 6: Bonusia 5-0 The Lake Isle of Innisfree - W
@Hepepelioli, Wèep, Pungapu, Bonusia
Round 7: Greater Deutsche 0-3 Bonusia - W
@Greater Deutsche
Round 8: Bonusia 4-0 Meris - W
@Tomàtic, Sant Molina, Ralí, Bonusia
Round 9: Zenic 1-1 Bonusia - D
@Philosophia Colosseum, Manacus, Zenic
Round 10: Moladea 1-3 Bonusia - W
@Moladea
Round 11: Bonusia 3-0 Porotia - W
@La Cova del Tigre, Unom, Plana d’Unó, Bonusia
Round 12: (Friendly) Dixie Florida 0-1 Bonusia - W
@The Fort Ferry Courtyard, Fort Ferry, Dixie Florida
Round 13: United States of Nova Calania vs Bonusia
@Stadion Azteca, Ostrow Krolewski, Odlegla Ziemia, United States of Nova Calania
Round 14: Bonusia vs Bears Armed
@Estadi Casa Tarradellas, Kynetbo, AMK, Bonusia
Round 15: The Lake Isle of Innisfree vs Bonusia
@The Lake Isle of Innisfree
Round 16: Bonusia vs Greater Deutsche
@Estadi d'Avellanes&Turró, Minga, Tionera, Bonusia
Round 17: Meris vs Bonusia
@Meris
Round 18: Bonusia vs Zenic
@La Blanquinada, Tarraconova, Tarraconensis, Bonusia

THE MATCH REPORTS

MATCHDAY 11	MATCHDAY 12
BONUSIA 3-0 POROTIA	DIXIE FLORIDA 0-1 BONUSIA
HEATED ENCOUNTER LEAVES POROTIA BURNT IN PEDRA'S PERFECT COMEBACK	WAR-LIKE PREPARATION GAME ENDS INTO A TIGHT WIN FOR THE BLACK STAR
Events (BON): I. Pedra 46' 58' 61' / || I. Pedra 77' / || A. Obiols 77' Events (POR): || M. Utrasevic 77', A. Eckheijt 77' / + H. Itzik 77', M. Utrasevic 77', A. Eckheijt 77' *Match is interrupted at the 77th minute, resumed the next day.	Events (DIX): || J. Berrocal 32', R. Reyes 69' Events (BON): D. Banach 81'
SUMMARY: After the polemic Porotian win in front of Bonusia in Matchday 2 and the agression to Isaac Pedra that left him out of the field for several months, the squad went into the game fully focused, and thirsty for the win. In a somewhat comical turn of events, the return game happened to be played in Unom, Pedra's native city and base of Unomenc, his boyhood club for which he was an icon. It's safe to say, and perhaps an understatement, that Unom was that day a volcano just about to erupt at any moments. The fiercy Unomians wanted nothing but blood on the fash Porotians that took their star boy and humiliated him in their country. The match started like one could expect. Neither side really attacked, but every ball possession by the Porotians was met with deafening whistles by the Unomian squad, mingled with insults, threats and all sorts of vulgarities; even with Pedra off the pitch. The Porotian, in an act of pride, tried to overpass the chants by the Bonusians, but to no avail. The nightmare scenario was totally demoralizing for the Porotian squad, even though it also defocused most of the Bonusian squad. The first half was no more than a build up for the second, where it finally exploded. The detonant was no other than Isaac Pedra, who entered in the place of Aitor Cea after half time. That burning look in his eyes revealed what were his intentions for that game. He wanted to liberate his rage into the game. And so he did. First, he run by himself as soon as the second half started and pushed all the rivals to the side to end up scoring. Then, 12 minutes later, yet again Pedra recieved from Obiols and put a spectacular shot full of raw power, that pushed both the ball and the keeper who tried to stop it into the net. And three after that, he drove the ball into the net after dribbling the keeper. After such display, Pedra was acclaimed by his compatriots in the stands. However, this humiliation didn't feel good with the fashies, that tried to foolishly pick on Pedra again. Pedra entertained them momentarily, until Obiols came to his defense. A brawl between the Bonusians and the Porotians formed, which ended in three reds and only a yellow for Pedra. However, as soon as the ref showed the cards, Unomian fanatics jumped to the pitch to join the fight and try to grab the Porotians. A huge stadium-whole brawl erupted, between the fiercy Unomians and the Porotian visitors. Almost all of the Bonusian players, the refereeing and some of the Porotian players abandoned the pitch. From the players that stayed into the fight, fortunately no Bonusian player was injured. However, on the Porotian side, Utrasevic, Eckheijt and Itzik, despite their military training; were all ingressed with several concussions provoked by the Unomian fans. The police arrested more than 25 people, at least 10 of them Porotians. The FBF was quick to condemned the occurrences: "From the Federació Bonusiana de Futbol we condone any kind of violence in the pitch or off it". However, in the comunicate consequences for the Unomian agitators are not contemplated. It was accorded with the WCC that the match would be resumed the next day, to play the remainin 13 minutes. However, none worth of mentioning happened during that time. After the official finish of the game, a calmer Pedra spoke with our reporters: "To be honest, if I hadn't scored those three goals, I would've been so mad that I would have probably got expelled in that confrontation. These Porotians are the worst, they better never come back to Unom or to any part of Bonusia ever again." MVP: Isaac Pedra (BON)	SUMMARY: Bonusia took the win in a friendly preparation game against Dixie Florida. The game was surprisingly much more calmer than the previous, although the extremely few Bonusians on the stands were taken by surprise when a bomb was dropped some kilometers away from the stadium, apparently by enemies of Dixie Florida, who is currently at war. The motive behind the celebration of this friendly, specially considering the fact that it was played away in a war-torn country, were known only to the Federation. In an official statement, the FBF explained that the friendly was set up because of "express wish of the manager, Xavier Boquete" and reaffirmed that "the government of Dixie Florida was compromised to maintain the combats at a distance of at least 10 kilometers from the stadium, during the duration of the game". The game was hard in all the senses of the word: Hard to play, hard to watch and hard to summarize. The Dixies were on the battlefield, despite it being a friendly, in a similar performance to those showed in the BoF. The Bonusians had a hard time both defending from them and proposing attacks themselves, not out of qualitative inferiority, but rather out of the sheer intensity of the Floridans. The only goal of the game came after a three rebound corner was finally caught by "Dio", who put it in the back of the net. After the game ended, the coach Boquete explained why he insisted on this friendly: "The players needed to face a rival like this. Last match against Porotia, who could be considered a similar team, the adrenaline pushed the players automatically to a win. Today, they learnt about what's really a hard match, and that is the best learning outcome they could get before the game against Nova Calania". MVP: Dioclecià Banach "Dio" (BON)

And as most of the Unomians were in the field, the calmest of them stayed on their seats instead, and started chanting a song in a foreign tongue, coming from a far, far away land...
We played the fash, we played the boring fash
(The boring fash), it was a total smash
(It was a smash), the fans began to clash
(They cracked the fash), we kicked the boring fash...

---

*Yonatan Morad, Antonieta Dou and Arnau Poveda are walking through a big avenue in the middle of Ostrow Krolewski. In that moment, enjoying the company of friends and teammates, Morad decides it's the best time for a super liveblog for his Witch channel.*
@YON._MORAD33 is live!
(Morad):- Heyheyhey! Bon dia i bon hora! Welcome once again, this is Yonatan Morad and we're live on Witch! Now, today we're doing a pre-game liveblog. We're here in Ostr... ou... Kroo-uelski... I think? I don't know, it's a weird name really. As you can see, the streets are full and extremely lively. Apparently, for those of you that don't know here in the chat... the people in Nova Calania love us!
(Dou):- It's the United States of Nova Calania. Nova Calania is the continent, retard, you clearly didn't read the fucking info. And they're not here for us, so stop it with that small cock energy. Today is the national day of the U.S of Nova Calania.
(Morad):- Stop getting in my face idiot! Why did you even come?
(Dou):- Same thing I'm asking myself...
(Morad):- Also who tf says United States of Nova Calania? I fell asleep mid-sentence man, you need to keep it dynamic.
(Dou):- Whatever...
(Morad):- So because of what she said, there's like a lot of stuff to do. Everything's open! Oh man, we're going to have such a blast before the game.
(Poveda):- Man we shouldn't get too crazy here. Remember that we need to win against them if we want to have a chance at the World Cup... IS THAT A DARN HOT-DOG EATING CONTEST? *proceeds to run off to the mentioned hot-dog competition's stand.
(Morad):- What?.. What got to him?
*from behind, Cea approached Morad and Dou*.
(Cea):- What's uppp! Man how are ya doing!
(Morad):- Love the vibe man. I hope there's some big party during the night man, this country seems to be a darn blast.
(Dou):- There's these bands playing during the night, idk any of them but you sure can have fun anyways...
(Morad):- Let's goooo! It's party time!
(Cea):- Hahahah dude, you only think of one thing, don't you?
(Morad):- What were you doing exactly right now?
(Cea):- Uuuh... certainly not at the casino, that's for sure... well I was, but dude I got like 20 croats out of the slots.
(Morad):- Hahahahah man... If you say so...
(Cea):- Shut up.
(Morad):- Have you seen Isaac? I made him promise to appear in one of my lives.
(Cea):- Oh yeah, I saw him with Itziar watching the military parade, down the avenue.
(Morad):- Thanks! Alright Antonieta, let's go!
(Dou):- Don't tell me what to do!... Okay, let's go!
(Morad):- LOL... Okay, as we go there, time for some chat Q&A... @quimet.mf21 asks: "What do you think about today's game, shouldn't you be training or preparing?" See, Quimet, in my case at least, I actually play better if I loosen up a little bit before the game, you know? In the case of Antonieta, I don't know what's she doing here.
(Dou):- DUDE I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!
(Morad):- Hahahahahahah chill Tònia it's just a joke. But yeah, that's my answer... Okay, next question, from @disker.__: "Who's the dumbest of the team?" Ohohoh, that's a good one!
(Dou):- Not really. It's obviously you, and by a margin.
(Morad):- Whaaaat??... Well, perhaps maybe, yes. But Arnau comes in close second. That guy doesn't know where the wind's blowing him from.
(Dou):- He's actually pretty smart, it's just that he grew up in the hood and didn't learn modals.
(Morad):- Fair enough... okay, next question... Isaac, is that you?
(Pedra):- Hey my friend! Glad to see you! Have you come here to see the parade?
(Morad):- Nah not really, just wanted you to be in my direct.
(Pedra):- Dude you're so gadfly with that channel of yours. HI EVERYONE! Are you happy now?
(Morad):- Man relax... How are you Itziar?
(Jara):- If they invaded they would end us, you know that?
(Morad):- Well then, we should probably lose then, hahahahah.
(Dou):- Come on, we need to return, the coach is calling for us already.
(Cea):- Daamn.
@YON._MORAD33's transmission has ended.
...
And so the Bonusian players then started to return to the concentration hotel. However, one member was still not aware of the calling. Arnau Poveda fought for his life in the Ostrow Krolewski Hot-Dog eating contest final. He was competing against pros, the best of the best. Their water-dog cycle was impeccable, alterning between one another with staggering efficiency. It went to the point that one of the finalists, Rupert Lewandowski, title-defendant, had a spectacular strategy in which he pre-chewed the dog and dissoluted the cud in the water for most efficient consumption.

All these techniques would have intimidated anyone else, but not Poveda. Without any strategy, just going out of pure sausage-eating capacity, Poveda catched up to Lewandowski and, finally, surpassed him to take the title. That, right there, was the Bonusian spirit manifesting itself. Be it that they won or lose the game, Bonusia, in a way, had already came victorious from Nova Calania.

The newly crowned wiener-champion, Arnau Poveda, got down of the stand, with a plastic trophy and a shirt that displayed a hot dog on a stick with a crown on top of it, with the text: "Don't sting the tapir king!".
(Poveda):- Alright fellas, we got a game to win.

Nova Calània gaudia,
mentre els partit seguia.
A fora i també a casa nostra
Del perill no en tenen cap mostra.
El Tabalot encuriosat,
rastres foranis ha olorat.
Fent de les flaires seva guia.
La gran urb ara perseguia.

Nova Calania enjoyed,
as the match went on.
Outside and in our home.
Of dange they got no signal.
The curious Tabalot
outer traces has smelled.
Making olours their guides,
The big city it now pursues.

[Saperetia]

EDIT: OOC: This RP came before the re-scorinating of Germanic Cat's games, (see here when and why) and is no longer correct. A correct RP has been posted later in the thread.

Saperetia Out
Saperetia 3-1 Germanic Cat

EDIT: OOC: Both of these RPs were RP'd before the re-scorinating of Germanic Cat's games, (see here when and why) so the games and RPs are not accurate anymore. I will re-write this later, but it's 5 in the morning and I need to sleep)

Last time we met with this team, it ended in the highest scoring game in our qualifiying campaign to date. It was also the game in which the Crimsonites scored the most goals: 2, 1 by Jaques, and 1 by Seppo, both being the wingers. Since those were their last goals, both of them are hoping to net another one in this game. The supporters are also asking for goals, as crimson has not scored a goal in 5 matches, with the last one being in the 1-0 win against The Osnari Federation. Whether Silivia's tactical changes would result in more goals and points was the question as the SAP 4-3-3 lined up against the GCT 4-2-1-2:

Saperetia: GK Hranislav (C) DEF O'Connel, Carloza, Damjan, Chryses MID Gil, Govind, Camilo ATK Jacques, Seppel, Seppo

Germanic Cat: GK Süter DEF Schawnberger, Assarah, Tiberius, Dietrich MID-DEF Krüger, Haase MID-ATK Kramer ATK Nowak, Engelhardt

As the match began with... 21 men on the field, as Germanic Cat seemed to field only 10 players, (OOC: The formation & starting squad they posted is 10 men) most expectations were blown away as for the first time, the Crimsonites were attacking at the start of a match. This led to a surprise, as Seppel netted the first goal from a header from a corner in just the 10th minute. Extatic fans in the national stadium were hoping that this was the start of a great match. As the game progressed, Silivia surprised many pundits by keeping up the pressure and not falling back to the defensive structure. Before the end of the first half, the Crimsonites had another chance as Chryses intercepted the ball quite high in midfield and sent a beautifull cross straight to Jacques for another header into the goal at the 40 minute mark. As the whistle blew to end half-time, the team went into the dressing room quite satisfied with their 2-0 lead, the biggest they have had for all of qualifying. Many fans were once again hoping, praying, for Silivia to not mess up the momentum of the team. And their prayers seemed to be answered as the Crimsonites flew out of the gates and managed to take the kickoff to a goal as Seppo slotted a third one past Süter in minute '47, increasing crimson lead for the first time to 3 goals. With this lead, Silivia, the team, and the supporters seemed to be satisfied and took the foot off the gas. This allowed for the Germanic Cat team to have a couple of chances, and they managed to convert one in the 85th minute from a free kick. But it was not enough to overcome the lead, and the game ended in a 3-1 victory.

Despite our win in this match, other results confirmed what many had expected to happen: Saperetia can no longer qualify for the World Cup and will be eliminated in the qualifiers. While this is sad, it was very much the predicted outcome of the team, as they went in as the lowest-rank team into the group. So far, our 7th place, tied with Bruinswik in both points and goal difference (us behind behind on H2H), is a massive overachievement in this campaign, even with the very rough start we have had, as at the end of MD5 we were the 2nd worst team in all of the qualifying groups, and with only the pace being picked up in the final part of qualifiers. Our next match is coincidentally against Bruinswik, meaning a win would most likely guarantee 6th place. Silivia declined to attend press conferences or to give comment.



5th 0-0 draw draws defence questions
Bruinswik 0-0 Saperetia

Despite both team being eliminated, this match was most likely the most important one remaining for both teams. If either could get a victory here, it would mean they had a very good chance to end in 6th place. For Bruinswik, this would mean they equaled the expected result. For Saperetia, this would mean they would be 3 spots higher than what was expected of them. Despite Silivia telling the media that a rest for some of the players would be a good idea, they kept on pestering him to put out the best players. Not wanting to come into hot water, Silivia relented, at least being content with the fact that he now had an excuse for whatever happened. The game for 6th was about to begin, as the SAP 4-3-3 lined up against the BRU 4-4-2:

Saperetia: GK Hranislav (C) DEF Abdelkader, Carloza, Damjan, Anatoliy MID Gil, Inget, Camilo ATK Jacques, Seppel, Seppo

Bruinswik: GK ? DEF ?, ?, ?, ? MID ?, ?, ?, ? ATK ?, ?

The game began as both teams seemed to not be at their best. The Crimsonites were not doing their usual runs, while Bruinswik kept on making silly mistakes. The only players that seemed to be on their A-game were the goalies, who saved a few shots each. Not much could be asked from them, considering the attacks were not shooting at the goal. Each ball seemed to go higher and higher, in a sort of competition for who would be the first person to kick a ball out of the stadium. Not even the half-time team talks talked sense into the team, as the blunderfest continued right up until the final whistle.

In the post-match conference, Silivia deflected blame from himself for a draw, instead claiming that the media's pressure caused this to occur, as they had asked for the best players, despite Silivia telling them they needed a rest. This seemed to have the desired effect, as some journalists began arguing against other journalists, while the press conference was still going on. While those were fighting, other journalists asked questions regarding the fact that this was the 5th 0-0 draw this tournament. Some argued that the games were too boring, other claimed that these weren't the desired results. Silivia asked them "What would you rather have: The 1-4 and 0-4 pummelings we got against Warkus and HUElavia in MD1 and 2 or the 0-0 draws in MD10 and 11? Our goal is to get points to qualify, and against better teams, we need every point damn it!" Whatever the cause for the draw was, Silivia knew he had to try and get that 6th place anyway now, even with the 1 match advantage Bruinswik still had.

[Indusse]

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Know your Team!

Know Your Team is a special section brought to you since the National Team has been participating in the World Cup Centenary and to make everyone familiar with the members of the team. In the last edition, we had finished introducing you to every player in the Starting Lineup. But that does not finish what constituents the team. We have got the Reserve Players as well as the other coaching and managerial staff. Before getting to know about the Reserve Players, lets get familiar with those who make the major Coaching Staffs. First we will meet the Manager and the Assistant Coach.

Pierre CAMANIN
Role: Manager | Age: 54 | Nationality: Auprussia

Pierre Camanin is an Auprussian Manager who signed for the Indussean National Team after the 20th edition of Independent Associations Championship. Pierre Camanin started his career as a Regionallige manager and took on the Auprussian National Team on a whim. His ultra-aggressive style completely changed his fortunes in management. He loves ultra-attacking football and demands most positions be proficient in the attack as a result. He managed the Auprussian National Team for 3 years with 5 years of lower level management and managed to get Auprussia to its first proper World Cup appearance. Camanin has also decided to change Indusse into an all attacking squad where all the players are capable of scoring goals and creating chances. Camanin at his first interview said he is in high hopes that he can take the Indussean National Team to either World Cup or World Cup Playoffs in his debut season.

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Matthew SCONFIELD
Role: Assistant Coach | Age: 51 | Nationality: Indusse

Born in the City of Neagra, Sconfield during his player era had played for multiple clubs in Liga Prime as well as in Provincial Leagues. When he decided to pursue a managerial and coaching career he did not have to look around for a job. His first coaching gig was as the Assistant Coach of Neagra FC's Youth Team and within a year he got himself with a contract from New Hind City FC's Youth Squad as their Coach. While being the Coach for New Hind City Youth, he was able to improve their play and even bring new talents to the squad. After a few years in NHCFC Youth, he got himself into being Sindvpore FC's B Team Manager. He is said to have played a crucial role in developing young talent in Sindvpore during this time. After a few seasons for Sindvpore FC's B Team, he was asked to take over as the Main Team's Assistant Coach. While he was the assistant coach at Sindvpore, the club won multiple Liga Prime Championships. It was during this time he was given an offer to join the National Camp as their Assistant Coach.

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Playoffs Confirmed!

As the Qualification Stage has finished thirteen matches, Indusse still stands as the group topper with thirty five points written to their name through eleven victories and two draws. The National Team is set to be having one of their best performances till date looking to break multiple records. Records like Indusse's Most wins in a qualification stage, Most goals scored in a Qualification are probably going to broken this edition. Indusse is currently one win away from equalising with the Victory Record and Eleven Goals away from the Goals Record. The Victory record is said to be ancient since it happened during the World Cup 81 Qualification recording twelve wins. Indusse had reached the playoffs that edition but could not proceed further after their defeat against Eshan.

Indusse had faced The Osnari Federation in their twelfth match in this stage. A well awaited match since they were said to be a threat but could not turn into one till date. Indusse was playing The Eagles at away, which was supposed to be tougher since the Home Team would get more fan support in their ground. In the Previous match against the same team at Indusse, the flocking blues had secured a thrilling victory of three goals against none. This time the Eagles wanted revenge and Indusse could not afford a defeat. After a very thrilling encounter, Indusse was able to seal the victory once again with a score of Two against None, where Grundjee and Djetson scored for the Visitors. The Eagles are having a bad time against Indusse since the beginning of the World Cup 100 Cycle, three matches were played between both teams including a Friendly hosted at the Federation and Indusse won in all three. The Friendly was also the only match where the Eagles were able to score a goal against Indusse whereas Indusse ended up scoring a total of nine goals in these matches.

In the thirteenth match of the Qualification stage, Indusse faced Nova Dackians, a team that was not at all supposed to be a threat to the Flocking Blues. In their first meetup a few matchdays ago, Nova Dackians was defeated at their home ground by Indusse for a score of four goals against One. This time Indusse had the advantage of hosting them in their home, hoping for more goals to be born. Different from all matches this stage Indusse had played, the Playing XI for the match against Nova Dackians was different. Something that surprised the fans like anything else. Mersiás, who is the full time captain of the team was benched and Vineeth K K was made to take his spot as the attacker. The captaincy meanwhile was given to Mathias Paulson, the senior most player in the team. Fans were shocked by this move of Manager Camanin, praying that nothing ill fated was supposed to happen. Vineeth did not disappoint the coach as well as the fans when he opened the score line in the thirty third minute with a spectacular kick. The Visitors followed with an equalizer and another goal that made them to lead before the half time ended.

Soon after in the second half, Grundjee scored from an assist from Vineeth equalising the score. Vineeth was now substituted and Mersiás was back in the ground. The fans cheered seeing their beloved Captain back in play. While Mersiás was back playing, Paulson remained the captain. There was no need to wait longer for something that could make the stadium go wild, Mersiás who had been back just a few minutes before scored a goal through a strong shot towards the right corner of the post further increasing the home team's lead. Now the visitors could not do anything, Indusse had completely took over the match's control. Indusse continued to make shots until the last minute, when the lead rose again after the visitors conceded an own goal from a kick made by Djenkzo. Soon the whistle was blown and Indusse secured their win as well as a feat that they have been waiting since World Cup 96.

Now Indusse is still in the table top, the opponents are trying their best to be back in the scene but Margaret has not been able to give them her blessings. With the victory against Nova Dackians, The Flocking Blues have got a confirmed berth in the playoffs now. Its either playoffs or auto qualification for Indusse. Now what Indusse is left with is to make sure they stay first in the group so the auto qualifies and not fall behind and take the risk of playing the qualification playoffs. Pundits in Indusse expect threat from HUElavia in their upcoming match. If Indusse is able to win against HUElavia or atleast draw against them then the team has more chance to claim the Auto-Qualification Spot. Everyone is thrilled and is waiting for the next matches just like you and me.

The Osnari Federation 0–2 Indusse
Playing XI: Shehzad (GK), Cyrus, Paulson, Akshay, Bhattacharya (All Defenders), O'Shaughnessy , Grundjee, Djetson (All Midfielders), Mersiás (c), Rahul, Djenkzo (All Attackers)
Substitutions: None
Goals: Grundjee (41'), Djetson (84')

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Indusse 5–2 Nova Dackians
Playing XI: Shehzad (GK), Cyrus, Paulson (c), Akshay, Bhattacharya (All Defenders), O'Shaughnessy , Grundjee, Djetson (All Midfielders), Vineeth , Rahul, Djenkzo (All Attackers)
Substitutions: Vineeth ⏷ Mersiás ⏶
Goals: Vineeth (33'), Grundjee (66'), Mersiás (75'), Own Goal (88')

Other Headlines

• Indusse Out of NSTT
  The Delegation from Indusse was defeated in the NSTT Tournaments and could not make any huge change in the match ups. Indusse is in hopes of playing better the next time they are in.
• Indraprastha Cup To Go Under IFA?
  Rumours claim that the Indussean Football Association has plans to make the Indraprastha Cup which is the nation's oldest running football tournament to be Indusse's own Super Cup. Rumours hint that the top four finishers of Liga Prime and the upcoming second division would compete against each other in the reformed Indraprastha Cup and its champions will get qualified for the IFCF Cup Winners' Cup.
• Ashley Ashcroft Still Missing
  Journalist Ashley Ashcroft who was reported missing from his house remains untraced. A mail has been received by the Police Department from Ashley stating he his fine and do not try to trace him. It was found that he has used VPN to send the messages to the departments.

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OOC: The Staff Images are AI Generated.

[The Sernetian Empire]

SERNESPORTS TV



ooc note: sernesports tv logo is ai generated, i will make a human made one asap

contents:
1 ) BREAKING NEWS: Yuezhou match postponed due to Jeruselem expulsion.
2 ) 2-2 draw against Free Republics
3 ) Sernet qualifying - will we really do it? or is it just a dream?
4 ) Sporius Bolsting life story
5 ) Short Pre-match analysis
6 ) Guide for Yuezhou fans
7 ) The Forum reacts
8 ) And finally...

BREAKING NEWS: JERUSELEM EXPELLED FROM COMPETITION - SERNET VS YUEZHOU MATCH RESCHEDULED & CHAOS IN GROUP 13
the news & match
Sernesports TV
reporter: Salman Ferisen

We have received news that Jeruselem have been expelled from the NSWC for doping; in other words, using drugs to enhance the performance of their players and giving them an unfair advantage.

ooc note: yes i know they got expelled due to adult content but i just wanted to rp it.

What does this mean for the competition, you may ask? Well, all matches played by Jeruselem have been expunged; they happened, but they no longer matter. This actually comes out in our favour as Jeruselem was one of only two teams we've lost to, thus reducing the amount of losses Sernet has experienced to 1, that being our first match against Juvencus. The group now obviously has eight teams instead of nine, with only five left in the battle for qualification. According to Sporting World (Free Republics), we have a very solid chance of either first or second, most likely second. Another thing Jeruselem's expulsion caused was the rescheduling of a handful of matches. We were meant to play Yuezhou in Sernetesen on matchday 13, but the match will now be happening on matchday 15 (next matchday), which was when we were supposed to play Jeruselem had they not been expelled. Free Republics vs Yuezhou was also rescheduled. Now every team in the group has a match on every matchday. What this also means is that no matches will be played at the Big Donut Snarisosnum, due to the fact that the only match which was scheduled to be played there was against Jeruselem, and we can't really move, say, the Yuezhou match to Snarisosnum now, as they are all already in Sernetesen and will just cause inconvenience.
Below is the new table for Group 13, excluding Jeruselem and expunging all matches played by them:

Revised Group 13 table without Jeruselem
                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Juvencus               10    6   2   2    19    7  +12    20
2 Sernet                  9    6   2   1    14    4  +10    20
3 Yuezhou                10    5   3   2    20   11   +9    18
4 Free Republics         10    5   3   2    18    9   +9    18
5 Yangchenia             10    3   2   5    13   11   +2    11 E
6 Lisander                8    2   3   3    11   16   −5     9
7 Macbon                 10    1   3   6     5   19  −14     6 E
8 New Rotterdam City      9    1   0   8     6   29  −23     3 E

An E denotes that the team has already been eliminated from the qualifiers, but will obviously still play their remaining matches. Lisander got lucky and still has a chance at qualifying because they are two matches behind.

2-2 draw against Free Republics

On a exhilirating evening at the Olden stadium, Free Republics, Sernet proved once again that they are a team built on resilience, unity, and relentless drive.
Twice they took the lead, twice they were pegged back, and yet when the final whistle blew, there was no sense of disappointment, only love for Sernet and determination. In a game that tested nerve and stamina, the Steamers showed both their brilliance and their humanity.

Sernet began brightly, asserting early control of possession and tempo. Their movement was fluid, their passing crisp, the kind of football Stoberus Pond has long envisioned. The reward came swiftly.

At the 17th minute, Sporius Bolsting, broke the deadlock with an instinctive finish. After a clever interchange between Komstrowski and Wołystowicz, the ball fell to Bolsting just inside the box. A single touch, a low drive, and the net rippled. The travelling fans erupted behind the goal - the Steamers were up and running again. The goal also marked Bolsting's 4th goal in the world cup so far.

But the hosts, buoyed by their home crowd, found a way back before halftime. At the 38th minute, midfielder Frank Henstra made use of a defensive mix-up to slot home the equalizer. It was a reminder that this competition allows no breathing room - every lapse, every hesitation, is punished. At half time, Pond’s message was clear: stay calm, stay disciplined, stay together.

Sernet responded in perfect fashion. Nine minutes into the second half, the Steamers’ trademark pressing forced an error in midfield. Esingfort pounced, slipped a pass through to Lansor Sayako, and his curling effort restored the lead at the 54th minute - a goal as precise as it was deserved. Sayako rebooted the Sernetian crowd's energy, making them sing at the top of their voices.

For twenty minutes, the Steamers looked in full command. Their shape held firm, their transitions were sharp, and Pasarowski marshalled his defence with authority.
But football, as always, is cruel. At the 83rd minute, a looping cross from deep found its way to Rainer Savage, who rose highest to nod the equalizer into the back of the net. Pasarowski’s fingertips brushed the ball, but it wasn’t enough.

The final whistle blew shortly after - a fair result, perhaps, but one that left the Steamers thinking about what could have been.
Unfortunately, the 1-0 predictions hadn't been exactly accurate, but 1 point on the table is better than none.
Head coach Stoberus Pond remained philosophical afterward, saying:
"That’s football. Sometimes you control the match, sometimes the match controls you. I’m proud of how the boys played - we fought, we created, we showed spirit. The Steamers don’t stop for anyone."
Captain Sporius Bolsting echoed the sentiment:
"We came here to win, and we nearly did. But this point still matters. It shows we can face with anyone, anywhere."

Final score:
Free Republics 2 - 2 Sernet

Goals:
Free Republics: Camden 38' , Atremon 83'
Sernet: Bolsting 17' , Sayako 54'

Statistics

Possession: Free Republics 46% - 54% Sernet
Shots: Free Republics 10 - 14 Sernet
Shots on Target: Free Republics 6 - 8 Sernet
Passes Completed: Free Republics 372 - 428 Sernet
Pass Accuracy: Free Republics 91% - 94% Sernet
Fouls Committed: Free Republics 7 - 6 Sernet
Yellow Cards: Free Republics 0 - 1 Sernet
Red Cards: Free Republics 0 - 0 Sernet
Corners Taken: Free Republics 4-7 Sernet

Sernet Qualifying - Will we really do it? Or is it just a dream?

by Salman Ferisen
ooc note: thanks to Free Republics for many of these stats

For decades, Sernetian football fans have dared to dream — but always cautiously. Every qualification campaign began with hope, built momentum through grit, and, more often than not, faded away under the bright lights of expectation.

This time, though, something feels different.

With four matchdays left in World Cup Qualifying Group 13, the Steamers are not just chasing the dream - they’re standing within touching distance of it. And suddenly, the question across Sernet isn’t "Can we?" but "Will we?"

Group 13 has been unpredictable from the start - and even more so since Jeruselem’s expulsion, which reshuffled fixtures and injected fresh uncertainty into the race. But among the chaos, five names remain in contention: Juvencus, Sernet, Yuezhou, Free Republics, and Lisander. The table is here once again for your benefit:

Revised Group 13 table without Jeruselem
                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Juvencus               10    6   2   2    19    7  +12    20
2 Sernet                  9    6   2   1    14    4  +10    20
3 Yuezhou                10    5   3   2    20   11   +9    18
4 Free Republics         10    5   3   2    18    9   +9    18
5 Yangchenia             10    3   2   5    13   11   +2    11 E
6 Lisander                8    2   3   3    11   16   −5     9
7 Macbon                 10    1   3   6     5   19  −14     6 E
8 New Rotterdam City      9    1   0   8     6   29  −23     3 E

Four matchdays.
Five teams.
Two tickets to West Pavola.

The match everyone’s circling in red is the upcoming clash at Sernetesen Lighthouse which was meant to have happened on matchday 13: Sernet vs Yuezhou.
Everyone agrees - it’s the hinge on which the whole group swings.

If Sernet win, their qualification odds skyrocket beyond 90%, virtually ensuring a place among world football’s elite.
If Yuezhou win, they climb right back into contention, with Sernet still holding a narrow edge for second place.
A draw? That leaves the Steamers with a healthy 77.3% chance of finishing in the top two - still in control, but with no room for complacency. It’s a match that could define a generation of Sernetian footballers.
While Juvencus lead the group on 20 points, Sernet’s form has been just as impressive - and arguably more meaningful.
From the early shock win over Yangchenia, to the 3–1 dismantling of Juvencus at home, to the dramatic 2–1 triumph where goalkeeper Tomasz Pasarowski became an instant national hero - the Steamers have shown heart, resilience, and a growing confidence that refuses to fade. The analytics say Juvencus first, Sernet second is the most probable outcome - assuming a draw with Yuezhou. But a win at the Lighthouse could flip the script entirely. It would make Sernet favourites to win the group outright - a sentence that would’ve sounded like fantasy a few years ago.

After Yuezhou, Sernet’s final three fixtures: away to Lisander, home to New Rotterdam City, and away to Macbon - look manageable on paper. But as every Sernetian knows, paper means nothing in football.

Lisander at home will fight for pride and points.
New Rotterdam City have shown flashes of danger.
Macbon, on the final matchday, could be either a formality - or a nightmare.

Still, as things stand, Stoberus Pond’s men control their own destiny. And people are confident that we can win all three of the above matches: especially the last two.

Sernet fans know what’s at stake. They’ve waited for this - through rebuilding years, near-misses, and heartbreaks.
Now, the Steamers are on the verge of something extraordinary: a place at the World Cup, representing not just a footballing achievement, but a national resurgence. It’s not a dream anymore - not entirely.
The Steamers have turned hope into momentum, and momentum into belief.

There’s still work to be done, still points to fight for, still a Sernetesen Lighthouse beam guiding them through stormy waters.
But with four games to go, Sernet aren’t just passengers in the qualifying race.
They’re driving it.

And as the nation asks, "Will we really do it?" - maybe, just maybe, the answer this time is yes.

Sporius Bolsting's life story
told by Bolsting himself

I’ve never really left home.
Not in spirit, anyway. I was born in Sporislau, a suburb of Sernetesen, and even now, when I travel for matches or stay in hotels, I still think of that cage by the square outside the tower block, the sound of trains passing by on the viaduct, the smell of the rain on the concrete, and the sound of kids kicking a ball against the walls of the cage.

That’s where it all started for me - a ball, a cage, and a dream.

Early Life and First Touches

My parents weren’t footballers, but they loved the game. My father worked at the steel mill, and every weekend he’d take me to the local park, where the older boys played until the sun went down.
At first, I just chased the ball around, but by the time I was six, I was scoring more goals than anyone wanted to admit.

We didn’t have much money, but we had passion. And in Sernet, that’s worth more than anything.

I used to watch Stronghold SFC play at the old ground in Sallingsten, back in the day before they moved to, sitting on my dad's shoulders in the stands. I remember the noise of the crowd like it was yesterday. I told myself, one day, that'll be me.

When I was nine, Stronghold SFC opened trials for their academy. My school coach pushed me to go - I didn’t think I had a chance, to be honest. There were so many talented kids, and I was just this quiet guy from Sporislau.

But football has a way of rewarding belief. I scored twice in a scrimmage that day, and before I knew it, one of the coaches came over, shook my hand, and said, "Welcome to the Stronghold."

That was it - the moment everything changed. I ran home, screaming down the street, and my mother cried when she heard.

The Hard Years

People think once you’re in an academy, it’s all easy. It’s not.
There were nights I wanted to quit - when I was 13, I went through a bad patch. I wasn’t starting, I wasn’t scoring, and I started doubting myself.

But my coach at the time, Mr. Wolfsted, sat me down and said something I’ll never forget:

"Sporius, football doesn’t owe you anything. But if you love it enough, it’ll give you everything back."

That stayed with me. Every goal I score, every shirt I pull on - I remember that.

Breaking Through

At 18, I got the call-up to the senior squad. I’ll never forget my debut - a league match at home against FC Saldensiland, floodlights shining, the fans chanting my name even though most of them didn’t know who I was yet. We had recently moved from Sallingsten to the new ground in Smestok; big new stadium, seats as far as the eye could see - "what a place" I thought.

I came off the bench and scored within ten minutes. A tap-in, sure, but to me it felt like a dream.

Since then, I’ve stayed loyal to Stronghold. People ask if I’ve ever thought about moving abroad or to another club, and I always tell them:

"This is home. I’m not done building here."

Becoming a Steamer

When I first got called up for Sernet’s national team, I cried. Simple as that. I was 20, and I’d grown up watching the Steamers on TV, imagining myself in that blue and orange kit.
Now, to actually wear it - to score for my country - that’s a feeling I can’t put into words.

From my first ever goal for Sernet against Armatonisdaristan in a friendly, to my first world cup goal against Yangchenia, to the unforgettable one against Juvencus, every moment has felt like a gift. But I also feel a responsibility - to the people in Sporislau, and Sernetesen as a whole, to the Stronghold fans, to everyone who believes in Sernetian football.

Now I’m 26, and I’m in what people like to call my "prime." But I don’t think about that too much. I just think about the next game, the next training session, the next kid in Sporislau who’s watching and dreaming. Who says I can't be at my prime at 45, after all.

Because that’s the beauty of football here - it’s not just a sport. It’s a heartbeat. The beautiful game is more than just a game - it's a way of life.

And as long as I can still run, still score, still fight for the win - I’ll keep doing it.
For Stronghold Sernetesen FC.
For Sernet.
For home.

Pre-match analysis: MD15 vs Yuezhou @Sernetesen Lighthouse, Sernetesen and MD16 vs Lisander @Estádio Sparta, Sirenia, Lisander

by Damian Weslom
squad:


We are using our original starting 11 for the next two games. We are planning multiple substitutions throughout the course of the game. Everyone will have the chance to do something meaningful on the pitch for Sernet.

Analysis:
As Salman really nicely described for us in his "Sernet qualifying" article - Sernet genuinely has a chance at qualifying - and a pretty high one that is. I honestly, wholeheartedly believe that the steamers can make it. Due to the expulsion of Jeruselem, the Yuezhou match has been postponed to Matchday 15, next matchday, but the Free Republics game went ahead, resulting in a 2-2 draw, as you all know. Thanks to Salman I really don't have much to say here in my own analysis because otherwise I'd just be mimicking him word for word... ...but what I will say is that we're bound to qualify. As for our match against Lisander on MD16... ...they're not the easiest team but they're not the hardest. With the steamers being this close to the prize they're not giving up.
Here are Sernefoot's predictions:

Sernet 3 - 1 Yuezhou
Lisander 0 - 2 Sernet

Guide for Yuezhou fans:
Hopefully all of you will have arrived at Sernetesen Lighthouse but just in case you haven't we're reposting the guidance:

Welcome, Yuezhou fans, to the wonderful country of Sernet! Thank you for visiting Sernet. You may find that our extensive rail network may be challenging to navigate, or that you can't seem to find where Sernetesen Lighthouse stadium is. This guide is designed to help you!

When you arrive at Sernetesen Storimidros International (we're assuming that's where you land), follow signage until you end up at the SMR station for whichever terminal you land at - for you lot its its likely to be Terminal 4. From here you have two options: take the slow SMR service down to Sernetesen, or take the fast Airline service to Sernetesen Arsenal. We'd recommend you take the Airline; it gets you from the airport to Sernetesen in just 15 minutes (a bit longer if catching it from Terminal 4) for a very slightly higher fare. Once at Sernetesen Arsenal, utilise the covered walkway to get to Sanosia Junction. From there, catch a westbound SMR Lime Line service towards Damonesiyum. Be careful, most SMR lines have a ton of branches, and the Lime line is no exception. However, the Lime Line has helpfully been named after the colour it is shown as, so that's nice. Just make sure to catch either a train that terminates at Spaldensen Banks or a train that says it goes via Lighthouse Wharf. You shouldn't have to wait too long as frequency on the SMR is good. Get off at Lighthouse Wharf, and from there it is literally a 2 minute walk to the stadium. Sernet has an abundance of public toilets should you need the loo. The SMR train doesn't have toilets, but Airline does. Upon arrival at Lighthouse Wharf, you should find all the amenities you need; restaurants, cafes, shops, you name it. Free wifi is available at the airport, on the trains and at the stadium. If you wish to stay at a hotel, there are plenty relatively cheap but high quality hotels at Lighthouse Wharf. Staff will be at all mentioned stations and around the stadium to provide assistance. We hope this guide will allow you to navigate to your destination with ease. Enjoy your visit to Sernet!
ooc note: The above section is copied & pasted from a previous rp post where a match was played at Sernetesen Lighthouse. The text is mine though obviously.

The Forum reacts
Forum Sernet is a government-sponsored social media platform in Sernet. It is amongst the most popular platforms in the country.
ooc note: decided to add this new feature to my rp posts to add more character : )
also "^" just means they are verified

@SernesportsTV_Official^
MATCHDAY TIME!
Tonight at Sernetesen Lighthouse stadium, we will witness the big game everyone's been waiting for. The ultimate decider, they call it.
Sernet vs Yuezhou
A win could all but secure qualification for the Steamers. Let’s make some noise, Sernet!

(Later, we play Lisander, but Yuezhou is first obviously)
#STEAMRISING #SRTvYUE #WorldCupQualifiers

Replies
@ueueueueueueueue
yessirrrrrrrrr

@PasarowskiFanClub
Pasarowski's going to save our bums watch. He's going to save every single shot they fire at us

@BolstingFan499
This is it. forget the maths, forget the models. win tonight and were basically through. GET IN THERE STEAMERS!
also @pasarowskifanclub pasarowski the goat frfr

@UrLocalSernetPatriot376
SERNET IS HIM SERNET IS HIM ALL WHO OPPOSE HIM BELONG IN THE BIN SERNET IS HIM SERNET IS HIM TRY CHANGE MY MIND I WON'T GIVE IN.
SERNET IS HIM SERNET IS HIM ALL WHO OPPOSE HIM BELONG IN THE BIN SERNET IS HIM SERNET IS HIM WE ARE SERNETIAN FROM HEART TO SKIN.

@Sernetishim456778
frfr @urlocalsernetpatriot

@DamonesiyumLoyal^
were winninggggggggggggggg

@StedgeslauBurgerShack^
If Sernet beats Yuezhou, burgers at Stedgeslau Burger Shack will be 50% off for 3 days! Only in Stedgeslau and Lanstrodim obviously, because that's where our branches are...

@Mrtavortos
yes please i love diabetes
jkjk stedgeslau burger shack the goat frfr

@user09876543211234567890
@StedgeslauBurgerShack im coming defo

@Yuezhoufan4290
Respect from Yuezhou - should be a great match. No hard feelings, just football.

@DonJohn
ye ggs

@SERNET_TILL_I_DIE
Sernet will win trust (or at least draw)
If they lose im selling my car

#sernetishim #thepowerofsernet
Replies

@mathslover2367
According to my calculations, there is a 87.679421% chance that Sernet win or draw the match against Yuezhou tonight. Assuming you are a man of your word, there is a 12.320579% chance that you will lose your car. These statistics are assuming the only possible outcomes are a win, draw or loss. Terms and conditions apply.

@oblongbaboon
holy yappington

@SMMC^
what car is it

@SERNET_TILL_I_DIE
@smmc a nissan gt

@tophat54
tough

@SernetesenTransportBoard^

The Lime line will be very busy due to the Sernet vs Yangchenia match.
Also good luck Sernet

#STEAMERSRISING #sernetishim #STB

Replies:

@Southwestsernetesenresident
lol the lime line will be packed

@SomporstLocal^
true

@fareast12456
hello from Gostwissen lol

@MuralMasters_Sernet^

We can't wait to finally unveil our new mural at Sernetesen Lighthouse! You guys will love it!
#LighthouseNight #sernetishim

Replies:

@Tomasz_Pasarowski^
this will be good i can feel it

@manlikeeggz
grafittttttttti

@Bigsmiler
hello pasarowski

@Flaviusss62
lol jeruselem

#NSWCqualifiers #thepowerofsernet #sernetishim

Replies:

@Sigma_Industries^
They got kicked frfr

@Dddddddddddddddd
One less obstacle in the way

@streetguy
the land of [REDACTED]

@ANTISXLEAGUE
@streetguy why u even mention it broooooooooooooo

@the_real_Lansor_Sayako^
womp womp jeruselem

@SKULLEMOJI
fr

@Zbigniew_Komstrowski^
my goal was for nothing : (

@JAJESTEMJEFFFFFFF
hope u score another one : )

@Huta_Salmedrowo-Sosenystowos_numer_jeden
: (

@WWWWsernet
we love sernet

#sernetishim #thepowerofsernet

Replies:

@No1Propagandaspreader
Sernet is the greatest country in the multiverse

@gdfgdfgdfgdf
bro imagine sernet actually wins the world cup

And finally...


The Team at Sernesports TV wishes Sernet luck.
From Left to right: Czesław, Damian, Salman, Peter, Bobby

(ooc: above image is ai-generated but has a very long prompt and was used in MetCup.
see this dispatch: https://www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=2619904 for more context.)

#thepowerofsernet

[Banija]

Kabaka - King
Omukama - Regent
Omugabe/Omugaba - Prince/Princess
Katikkiro - Prime MInister
Lukiiko - Parliament
Waziri- Foreign Minister
PPM- People's Protection Movement. Center-right party, currently the largest party in the Lukiiko, and the dominant party of the governing coalition.
LDA- Latter-Day Alliance. Right-wing party, religious & nationalist right, currently the junior partner in the governing coalition.
CRU- Collective Resistance Union. Center-left party, forms the official opposition.
BPC- Banijan People's Congress. Hard-left party, smallest of the 4 parties in the Lukiiko

OOC Note to hosts and other readers: The following is a Map of Banija, Abahamba, and the Busoga Islands. Most of the credit goes to Tumbra. All three are ICly firmly independent countries, with historic ties to Banija- OOCly, all three of them are ran by the same user. Abahamba will be a large focus of this tournament for me, but as they are not in this tournament(for IC reasons that'll come out in due time), the RPing will be done mostly via Busoga and Banija. Abahamban perspectives will come from both nations.

Part 1: Intro to Abahamba
Part 2: A new Ambassador
Part 3: Robel takes a phone call
Part 4: Rumors Hit the Internet
Part 5: A Reçecian wonders (written by Recuecn)
Part 6: Thuku goes public
Banija, Part 7: Ezera's Denial
Reçueçn, Part 8: Thorvex takes charge
Part 9: The Brothers Lawyer Up
Part 10: The WCC hears the charges
Part 11: A fair takes over the town
Part 12: Robel understands his fate
Part 13: Outbreak in the Palace
Part 14: Thorvex gets sick

WCC Vice President, Robel Ezera, sitting in a meeting with a delegation from the RBSA

The RBSA. The Royal Banijan Soccer Association- aka, Banija's FA. Technically, the RBSA was headed by the Kabaka- or, in this case, the Omukama. But generally, the royals did not get involved in the running of the day-to-day operations of the RBSA, allowing it to functionally run itself. It was a double win- the Royal family got to focus on politics, while making sure their interests were at least heard in the RBSA. And for the employees of the RBSA, it meant that hard work got rewarded.

But the RBSA was finding itself in a bit of a bind now. While Ezera certainly had many supporters in the RBSA, as his long time spent there meant that basically everyone in the whole org owed him at least something, it was becoming a bit of an albatross on what they wanted to do. Ezera had been able to wiggle his way out of a no confidence vote so far, finding procedural tactics and what not to try and delay. But the RBSA, despite their best efforts, could not swing nations to their side. And, of course, it would be wholly embarrassing to lose the vote.

"Robel." Said his replacement as the Executive Chairman of the RBSA. He was flanked by two of his deputies. Robel was looking around- he was angry, disappointed.

"There's nowhere for you to go. You must resign." One of the Vice Presidents of the RBSA told Robel, looking at him directly. "You don't want to lose a vote like this. It would be outright embarrassing. An absolute shame. You can still retire with dignity?"

"Over those fucking Abahambans?" Robel Ezera hated what he was hearing.

"Look, would they have probably embarrassed themselves far more than any WC nation has ever done? Almost certainly." Said his successor as the Executive Chairman of the RBSA. "You know this. I know this. The world, however, does not. I understand what you were trying to do- truly." He paused, and then continued. "But, like I said- I am not your judge. The world is your judge- and you are going to lose this vote, like it or not. Keep your dignity Robel. Resign and retire- don't go thrown out, like a stray dog."

Robel sighed, and then nodded. He hated it. It was despicable. Betrayed by his own people. But- he didn't get this far in his career because he was dumb. He was going to take the hit, and he was going to resign. He knew that he didn't have the votes here, and running against a wind like this was foolish.

"You guys have a successor?" He asked.

"Does a bear shit in the woods?" His successor responded. "We had to search for a little bit- someone with little connections to you, or politics in general. Considering... The obvious."

"Who?" Robel asked. Well..

RBSA Press Release: Robel Ezera resigns all WCC roles; RBSA appoints Solomon Letego as successor

ZUBE, KYTLER PENINSULAE- Robel Ezera, after a meeting today with RBSA officials, has decided to resign all of his roles, effective immediately, at the World Cup Committee, including, but not limited to, his role as Vice President of the WCC. "The RBSA would like to thank Robel Ezera for his decades of service to the game in Banija and elsewhere. He has dedicated a lifetime to the sport, and now, will go onto enjoy a well-earned retirement."

Per WCC rules, the RBSA as a whole was given right to appoint the Vice President of the World Cup Committee, and the RBSA has appointed Solomon Letego as the Vice President of the World Cup Committee. Letego is mostly known for his role as the principal owner of Istria City FC, the most recent champions of the Shango-Fogoa Premier League. He is a 3rd generation owner, as his grandfather bought the team, and has kept it in the family line. Letego has expressed 'excitement' for his new role, and has expressed his interest in continuing to be the owner of his club team- although has announced day to day operations will be handed off to his brother for the duration of his Vice Presidency.

---

Assefa Yitebarke, Banijan Ambassador to Abahamba, sitting in the Embassy

Something was not right in Abahamba. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, he had no idea what it was- but he knew that something was not quite right. The Palace had usually been quite a hustling and bustling place- not that he was over there, but for the past few weeks, there wasn't nearly as much traffic as one would expect going in and out of the heart of the seat of power in Abahamba. Just odd to happen in a country. And of course, Banijan intelligence found it had to penetrate the Palace- not worth the risk at the moment, considering how relations seemed to be sinking.

And then, something even more shocking- he had heard about Thorvex being medevac'd out of the country. Now, the local authorities were trying to keep a lid on it, but this was something that was near impossible to hide forever. The Banijan Ambassador didn't personally have many contacts in Reçueçn, so he didn't know what was going on. But a helicopter landing basically next to the Palace, and Reçueçn diplomats and soliders pouring out- even under the cover of night, it was the type of thing that got diplomats talking.

Some questions- and not many answers at all. Abahamban media was trumpeting the newfound partnership and relationship between Abahamba and Reçueçn, with a photo of the Crown Prince, Jean-Luc Lassalle, who was Reçueçn's Minister of Sport, and Ottilie Thorvex, being released. He noted that the King was not in the photo, but he wasn't really thinking about that right now- maybe the King wasn't there for the photo op, or some sort of diplomatic protocol required he not be there.

Banija was, to put a word on it, behind on events transpiring around them in Abahamba. Assefa Yitebarke had gathered his best people, talking about how they need to ramp up resources to figure out exactly what was going on- and put a call to his bosses in Busukuma, to ask that exact question. Not just to ask it- but to give him the resources to try and find out. What kind of resources? Bolster up diplomatic staff. Yitebarke was determined- he was absolutely going to get to the bottom of this.

It was 2 days later, when one of his staff spoke to him. She reported that a number of staffers at the Palace hadn't gone home in a few days. People were going in- but not going out. Yitebarke had a gut feeling- big things were happening...

[Paradystopia]

---

Complete Voting Result Breakdown

There were unprecedented scenes in Erroropolis/Oeopolis this evening as the seventh recount of votes confirmed the result of the previous six counts; The result of the referendum was a dead heat with the number of votes both for, and against independence from Paradystopia equalling exactly 181,093. Government officials have yet to make an official statement on what this outcome means with regards to the future of Erroropolis/Oeopolis but what is certain is that this result (that isn't actually a result) only serves to raise further questions on the topic of Erroropolisish/Oeopolisish independence.

Some have gone as far as to demand a further referendum, but this time with compulsory voting whereas others such as Leader of the anti-independence campaign; Markus Wong-Wang have stated that if the result is inconclusive, a maintaining of the status quo, with Oeopolis/Erroropolis remaining a de facto part of Paradystopia, must be adhered to. Head of the pro-independence movement; Error Message has been unavailable for comment as of writing though his office did inform us specifically not to make mention of the fact he is currently in Hafamarimët with 'a load of obnoxious penguins', so we shall refrain from doing so.

---

Top Thoughts of our Readers:

1. Erroropolis is, and should remain, part of Paradystopia. It's ludicrous to consider anything to the contrary.

   ---

   - Mrs. Brenda Totallynotafakename, Erroropolis, South-west Paradystopia
   via letter

2. Can't we just let the Erroropolisians go already? There would be a marked improvement in the FLoP without that ridiculous squad of reprobates. Fielding a team involving penguins and a rabid gibbon. It's simply bringing Paradystopi football into international disrepute, and we're better off without it. Utterly puerile!

   ---

   - DickMcCockface69, Oldetoun, New Newetoun
   via The National Scrutineer Messageboards

3. If you ask me, it's all the fault of them Tumbrans. Sowing dissent in Esportiva I tell you, with all this 'retirement' from World Cup football nonsense. I'd put good money on this independence malarky being a Tumbran plot of some sort for some sort of reasons.

   ---

   - RuddyTumbra123, Pantsdon, West Paradystopia
   via The National Scrutineer Messageboards

Do you have thoughts you'd like to share with The National Scrutineer^TM? Click HERE to electronically post your thoughts and opinions to our offices in Paradystopia. Chosen submissions win a Pč100,000 cash prize and a year's subscription to The National Scrutineer^TM*

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*

1. Terms and conditions may apply. A year's subscription to the The National Scrutineer^TM currently unavailable outside of Paradystopia, as well as in some parts of Paradystopia.
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Hafamarimët 0–3 Paradystopia

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Pedro 82'
Message 89'
Olii 90'+2

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Having used the Paradystopi Football Association credit card to pay for an exorbitant emergency plumber's surcharge to the cost of his hotel room in Hafamarimët, Error had been reunited with his mobile telephone. During it's short journey from the toilet in Error's room to the local sewer system, it had unfortunately found a way to lodge itself in a bend of one of the pipes. The subsequent chain of events had eventually led to the whole lower level of the hotel becoming uninhabitable and a team of workmen having to essentially dismantle the plumbing infrastructure of the building piece by piece. Error attempted to protest his innocence but his argument that there was no sign to specifically indicate that one shouldn't flush one's phone down the toilet swayed no-one. As the squad departed the hotel, wading out through ankle-deep fetid water and to silent scornful looks from the staff there, it marked an inauspicious end to what had been a record-equalling away win for the Paradystopi team.

They scrambled on to the awaiting bus, set for the airport for their flight home and Error took the opportunity to gingerly retrieve his SIM card from his returned sewer blockage. This he transferred into a back-up handset, and was surprised to discover that it appeared to have evaded being damaged by the water. He was equally surprised at the number of messages, voicemails and missed calls that lit up this new phone in a steady stream of electronic pings and assorted vibrations.

Firstly, there was a voicemail from a surly-voiced government official informing him that the first count of the referendum vote had resulted in a tie and they had scheduled the customary recount. There were five further messages of this nature too, with a seventh confirming that they were calling it a tie. In amongst these were various reporters seeking to obtain the thoughts and opinions of the current Erroropolis governor regarding the outcome. There were another three from Bob from accounts at the Paradystopi Football Association, each subsequent one sounding more flustered and anxious at Error's lack of response. Finally, there was a further one from the Naked News team in Jeruselem but that was promptly deleted before the reasoning of their message was stated.

"The referenduminium was tied-pod ..."

Error said this to no-one in particular, but Olii, curled up and half-dozing in the seat across the aisle assumed it was he being addressed.

"Cool? So what does that mean?"
"I don't ... I doughnut actually know ..."
"Fair enough ... So which way did you vote?"
"Really!? Ha! Well, given I am the driving forcefield behind the campaign for Erroropolis independifference, naturefully I vo..."

He stopped suddenly. When the polls had opened, he had been aboard a plane on his way to Hafamarimët and at no point had he secured himself a postal ballot.

"I diddlen't vote ... I ..."
"That's a shame. If you had, you would've won."

A thousand discordant synapses sparkled ferociously within Error's mind as a overwhelming feeling of nausea swept over him. Not a nausea as one would get at the contents of a Jeruselem podcast, or even that of picturing a naked Jeremy Jaffacake but something deeper, something more malignant and deeply discomforting.

He could've won it, if not for him, and that was truly sickening.

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Paradystopia 1–0 Jaoaa

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Olii 73'

[Woodsmere]

Woodsmere vanquishes Norway-Sweden-Finland 2-0!
Mende Jukapli , 08/11/2025

Woodsmere
2
Vilbetti 58'; Ojalas 89'

Norway-Sweden-Finland
0

The Match
It may not have been the most glamorous game, but Woodsmere’s 2–0 win over NSF was an important step in their qualification journey. Though the opposition offered little resistance, the Hares’ discipline and improved midfield balance suggested that Reged’s tactical refinements are paying off well.

Malmö Stadium, where we played

Woodsmere’s 4-4-2 formation kept a compact shape, with the midfield four holding their line tightly. On the other hand, NSF’s narrower 4-3-2-1 left space out wide, which was exploited by Ranme and Laansu throughout the game. The match began with Woodsmere's midfielders asserting possession of the ball and together with the agility of the forwards, successfully overcame NSF's subpar midfield. Once NSF’s back line recovered, the press broke down and Woodsmere recycled possession. But, it was at this moment, when an NSF midfielder intercepted the ball and ploughed his way towards our goal—by now most of our defenders were up at NSF’s goal. The midfielder's advance was accompanied by cheers from the home crowd.

As the midfielder approached the penalty box and aimed to score to the left of the goal, Hen Poldma moved in advance. So when the NSFer launched the ball, Poldma leaped to the top-left corner of the goal and just about saved it - a wee win for Woodsmere. Reged ordered the team to go defensive after this close miss, and it enabled them to intercept and counterattack even better.

The change in play did help hold off NSF: it made it harder for the Hares to score. Regardless, Reged decided it was best to continue this approach until half time. At the 43rd minute, a yellow card was given to a striker from Norway-Sweden-Finland for a tackle on Lindstre.

Half time came, and Reged re-evaluated the formation. He told the midfielders and strikers to push forward, while the defenders would stay back. This way, they could get close to the goal without exposing their own. His plan was put to the test in the second half, and the Hares did as instructed. Vilbetti and Keulep pushed forward while the midfielders and Ojalas followed them behind, forming a sort of wing. A ball from Keulep found Vilbetti breaking the offside trap and his calm finish low to the near post gave Woodsmere control. His goal didn't just change the result, it changed the whole flow of the game from there.

Vilbetti's goal did not only energise the Hare fans, it energised the Hares on the pitch. Ranme and Laansu flanked NSF even more, the strikers moved quickly and altogether to energy overwhelmed NSF. 11 minutes before the final whistle, Ranme passed to Ojalas, who pushed foward and skilfully tapped the ball into the goal. Like in most of the other matches, the Woodsmerean fans cheered until the very end. Reged remarked afterward, “It's pretty easy to sit back and relax in games like this, but our boys kept moving foward. It's wins like these that build consistency.”

Woodsmere vs Xanneria: 3-2 triumph!
Mende Jukapli , 08/11/2025

Woodsmere
3
Viren 22', 70'; Keulep 41'

Xanneria
2
Rutherford 62'; Sanchez 90+2'

The Match
This was one of Woodsmere’s most demanding fixtures of the whole qualification stage - a tense, open contest that tested both discipline and depth. After the nervy start, the Hares showed resilience and tactical awareness to edge out Xanneria 3–2. This wonderful result keeps their push for a top-two spot very much alive.

Woodsmere started off sharply, pressing Xanneria high up the pitch. Their aggressive shape became useful when Viren pounced on a misplaced pass in the 22nd minute, finishing smoothly past the exposed defense. The goal forced Xanneria into removing their defensive shape, leaving for spaces for the wide Hares. Confidence grew rapidly, and the Hares exploited Xanneria’s slow recovery between midfield and defense. Keulep doubled the lead 9 minutes before half-time, after a quick counter spearheaded by Lindstre’s long diagonal ball. However, momentum briefly dipped down when Ojalas was shown a red card for a reckless challenge moments later, forcing Reged to reshuffle his midfield just before the break.

Half time came, and both sides refreshed and adapted their strategies. Xanneria decided to opt for a 4-3-3 to reduce the spaces that were being exploited in the first place, and move more players closer to Woodsmere. Doing so allowed for an easier attack, and better control in the middle of the pitch. The new formation proved highly beneficial, as Woodsmere was unable to penetrate Xanneria's defense as easily, but simultaneously they were being pushed back at a larger scale. Rutherford scored at the 62nd minutes after intercepting a long ball from Uska. Fortunately, the Hares fought back and Viren added another goal for the Hares, thanks to dashing down the exposed left side of the pitch. But near the end, the pressure on Woodsmere's forwards and midfielders was immense, so it facilitated a goal from Sanchez towards the end of the game.

Woodsmere had won by just one goal, but their victory in discipline went way further. Plevi praised the team's "ability to continue under high expectations and pressure" in a Jōrg post. Jōrg is the most used social media platform in Woodsmere.


Jōrgmuge is Woodsmere's largest social media platform. We started a topic on there where Woodsmereans can discuss the possibility of Woodsmere qualifying. We were overwhelmed with comments so we only managed to pick out the top comments.

@zhegnajukkalij
I don't have much hope for Woodsmere: Pyazhnaya is too skilled compared to our national team. However, all that matters in the end is that we weren't battered our way through the qualification stage - we actually performed well . I hope that for the next World Cup we will be put into a less competitive group #upthehares #woodsmerefootball

@k!13/r
@zhegnajukkalij I agree with everything that you said. But one thing to mention is that even though we did well in the qualification stage, everyone only bothers with the actual World Cup. Nobody brags about finishing 3rd or 4th in their group table, do they?#worldcup #woodsmerefootball

@rhui_09867
COME ON WOODSMERE!! YOU BETTER WIN OR ELSE #truepatriot #football

@_sunshineandsparklesss_
Jeremy! Why are you not scoring! #jeremyfan

Next 2 Matches

Next up, we will be facing both Pyazhnaya and Bythia at Cascade Stadium. The match against Bythia, is likely going to be a win for us, but like always we must never underestimate the enemy. Meanwhile, we are also facing Pyazhnaya. The result of the game against Pyazhnaya will almost certainly determine whether we make it into top 2 or not. Without beating them, we have very little hope of even making it into 2nd place, let alone 1st. We wish all the best to our Hares!

Cascade Stadium getting ready for the big matches

INFORMATION FOR PYAZHNAYA AND BYTHIA FANS
Ensure that you purchase train tickets beforehand at the airport station
From Wassenstad Airport, follow signs for a metro station, and board any odd-numbered platform train. Get off at Wassenstad Northgate, and get a train over there, from Platform 8 to Fórlan Central Terminal. Exit the station, and walk to the bus station, and wait for an articulated yellow bus from Stop C. Get off at the last stop, and you have reached Cascade Stadium! We recommend getting accommodation from Fórlan City Centre, as the suburbs are rather confusing for tourists.

Starting 11 for next matches:

[Free Republics]

OOC: Now for something different. A parody of those analytics prediction articles that are all over the sports media these days.

Sporting World

An Analytics-Based Analysis of World Cup 100 Qualifying
By: Sarah Fuerst-Lucchese

With 4 matchdays remaining in World Cup qualifying, it is time to statistically analyze the remainder of World Cup qualifying to shed some light on what is lightly to unfold over the remainder of qualifying. As Sporting World is based in the Free Republics, our readers care most about Group 13 so I will focus on that group first. But we will consider the remaining schedule and estimated strength of all remaining non-eliminated teams in all 30 groups to try and predict the 60 teams that will finish in the top 2 of their respective groups.

Group 13 is a unique case because of the expulsion of Jeruselem from the tournament and related scheduling changes. The 5 teams that still have a chance are Juvencus, Sernet, Yuezhou, Free Republics and Lisander. Remaining schedules are as follows:

Juvencus (23): vs Lisander, @ New Rotterdam City, vs Macbon
Sernet (21): vs Yuezhou, @ Lisander, vs New Rotterdam City, @ Macbon
Yuezhou (19): @ Sernet, @ Free Republics, @ Lisander
Free Republics (19): @ Yangchenia, vs Yuezhou
Lisander (12): @ Juvencus, vs Sernet, @ Yangchenia, vs Yuezhou

The most critical remaining match in terms of its impact on the probable group outcomes is Sernet vs Yuezhou. If Sernet wins, then the odds of Sernet and Juvencus finishing top 2 each exceed 90%. If Yuezhou wins, Sernet will still be slightly favored to finish second in the group based on my computer models. A draw would give Sernet an 77.3% chance of a top 2 finish. My models do not think Lisander is particularly strong and give them a less than 1% chance of a top 2 finish. As the Free Republics will need to win out and get substantial help to reach a top 2 finish, my models give them a 14.7% chance of advancing. (OOC: I haven't actually run this through an analytics model. Just guesstimating with numbers that seem plausible.) The likeliest outcome in Group 13 is Juvencus first then Sernet second. This assumes a Sernet-Yuezhou draw. A Sernet win in that match would, all other things being equal, make them the favorite to win the group.

With Group 13 out of the way, we will now turn to the remaining groups in numerical order:

Group 1: Valanora has already clinched a top 2 spot at 34 points. Calgasia, at 29 points, can still win the group. Gyaromia can still finish second at 22 points. The rest of the group is eliminated. This is relatively straightforward for my model. Calgasia has a 98.4% chance of finishing top 2 in the group because they also have a match in hand compared to Gyaromia. A Calgasia win over Golfo Central, Shin-Zetsubo or Txakhaxi clinches second place. As would draws against all 3. A Gyaromia draw combined with a Calgasia draw would also eliminate Gyaromia. Gyaromia can make the playoffs in 1 of 2 ways: They win out and Calgasia gets at most 2 more points or they get 4 points from their next 2 matches and defeat Calgasia on matchday 18 while Calgasia loses all 4 of their remaining matches. Each of these scenarios is exceedingly unlikely. My models also project Valanora to have a 91.3% chance of winning this group as their remaining schedule is largely the same as Calgasia's and both should have no trouble dispatching the remaining minnows. Notably, BoF champions Shin-Zetsubo are already eliminated, a disappointing performance for a nation that many had high hopes for in this tournament.

Group 2: Group 2 is also a 3 way race at this point but much more competitive. Aphrilia sits on top at the moment with 33 points then Paradystopia at 32 and Cardenao at 29. Paradystopia has 1 fewer remaining match than the others. Cardenao has remaining head to head matches at home against both Aphrilia and Paradystopia. Aphrilia and Paradystopia split their head to head matches so any tiebreak scenario between the 2 would come down to goal difference where Aphrilia currently has a 15 goal advantage. Cardenao drew Paradystopia in their previous head to head match and lost to Aphrilia. Based on my models, Aphrilia has a 74.7% chance of a top 2 finish. Cardenao is currently sitting at a 49.9% chance of a top 2 finish with Paradystopia sitting at a 57.4% chance. Paradystopia's chances are higher because they already have 3 points in hand and because their remaining schedule does not include Aphrilia. If Cardenao beats Paradystopia on matchday 15, their odds would both be around 55% factoring in the possibility of an Aphrilia collapse.

Group 3: Here there are 4 teams still in contention but Auprussia, Biyambi and Eastfield Lodge all have far better chances of a top 2 finish than Natanians and Nosts. An interesting dynamic here is that Auprussia sits at 31 points, 3 points ahead of the other 2 serious contenders, with a match in hand on both of them plus Natanians and Nosts. Their remaining schedule is Eastfield Lodge at home followed by 3 minnows so their odds of winning the group are sitting at 84.3% and of a top 2 finish at 95.6%. Eastfield Lodge has the hardest remaining schedule as they still have to face both Auprussia and Biyambi. This group will pivot on the outcomes of those 2 matches. Biyambi already holds the tiebreaker over Eastfield Lodge so Auprussia and Biyambi wins in those 2 matches would virtually clinch qualification for both nations. The most likely path for Natanians and Nosts would be that scenario combined with Biyambi losing to both minnows in matchdays 17 and 18. If that happened, Natanians would still need to win out against 2 minnows and an underperforming Boring Paradise squad. 2 draws would still put Eastfield Lodge's qualification hopes in deep peril. My models see their chances dropping to 23.2% in that scenario. The most likely scenario is Auprussia first and Biyambi second but Eastfield Lodge still has over a 50% chance of a top 2 finish.

Group 4: Group 4 is relatively straightforward. StrayaRoos are undefeated and have already clinched their spot in the final 48. This leaves a battle between Vixette, Sargossa and Seeburg for second place. Vixette has a commanding lead at 25 points to Sargossa's 21 and Seeburg's 20. All 3 have 4 matches remaining. Vixette's odds are not as strong as they appear because they host StrayaRoos on matchday 15 then visit Sargossa on matchday 16 and host Seeburg on matchday 17. Both Sargossa and Seeburg have 3 matches remaining against minnows plus a match against Vixette. Thus, my models actually project Sargossa as the favorite with a 38.7% chance followed by Seeburg at 34.9% and finally Vixette at 26.4%. However, if Vixette can secure 3 points against StrayaRoos, their odds of making the playoffs increase to 60.3%. My model gives StrayaRoos a 64.5% chance of running the table, finishing qualifying with a perfect 48 points.

Group 5: There are 5 teams still alive in this group. Lebronsleftnut is mathematically still alive at 16 points with 3 matches to go but would need to win out, have Qusmo lose out, get some additional help and make up a 31 goal deficit in goal difference. The odds of that happening are so minute that it would raise legitimate match fixing questions if that somehow happened. That's even putting aside the massive difference in talent between the 2 nations. This leaves us with a 4 team race between Ko-oren (26), Qusmo (25), Carpathia and Ruthenia (23) and Oscioru (20). Carpathia and Ruthenia has 1 fewer match remaining than the others. The main thing C&R has going for them is their remaining schedule. They face the bottom 3 teams of the group including underperforming but once promising BoF nation Coercia (OOC: This one's position in the table surprised me but is explained by a total lack of RP during WCQ.). C&R also have the head to head tiebreaker over Qusmo and Oscioru but Ko-oren holds the tiebreak over them. The Qusmo-Ko-oren tiebreaker will come down to goal difference where Ko-oren currently have a 7 goal advantage that will be challenging but not impossible to overcome. All things considered, my model has Ko-oren and Qusmo as the most likely to advance. Ko-oren has a 75.6% chance while Qusmo has a 66.5% chance. Third is Carpathia and Ruthenia with a 45.6% chance leaving just a 12.3% chance for Oscioru. This is because my model thinks Carpathia & Ruthenia winning out is the most likely outcome but if this happens then Oscioru cannot finish ahead of C&R. And my model also thinks it extremely unlikely that both Ko-oren and Qusmo collapse against minnows down the stretch.

Group 6: This group is all but over with just 3 teams left in the race. Busoga Islands sit at 34 points, Bostopia at 32 and Kronbia at 23. Bostopia does have 1 fewer match than the others. My model does not think Kronbia is as strong as their record indicates. The biggest surprise here has to be Huayramarca, the top seed in this group, who are sitting at just 11 points and have yet to even announce their roster. (OOC: The set your rank to 0 if you don't post a roster penalty has a dramatic effect.) That's a massive disappointment for the 32nd ranked team in the multiverse. Kronbia is another nation that never announced their roster and the only thing they have going for them is an upset over Bostopia on matchday 5 that my model believes to be a total fluke, possibly a result of the mythical Margaret playing a practical joke on the World Cup. In any event, Bostopia's decisive 3 goals to nil victory on matchday 14 ended any doubt. Both Busoga Islands and Bostopia have over a 99% chance of finishing top 2. As they drew their previous head to head meeting, my model believes that the group will come down to matchday 18 when they face off in Busoga Islands. My model projects Busoga Islands with a 79.2% chance of winning or drawing that match and taking the group.

Group 7: Group 7 is technically a 4 team race but Natot's chances are roughly equivalent to those of Lebronsleftnut in group 5. Crpostran currently sits at 33 points with Mertagne at 26 and Kordavia at 21. The group leader has 1 fewer match remaining than the others. Kordavia faces Crpostran at home on matchday 15 then visits Mertagne on matchday 16. If they do not secure points in those matches, they will be eliminated. Crpostran will visit Mertagne on matchday 18. This means this group will likely be decided on the pitch. Natot's path is to win out (including matches against Crpostran and Mertagne), Mertagne to lose 4 straight and Kordavia to get at most 1 point. My model has Natot's probability of making the playoffs at 0.0001% with Kordavia at 23.1%. Crpostan has 99.99% odds of a top 2 finish and 88.5% odds of winning the group. Mertagne's odds of a top 2 finish are 76.9%. This is because my model thinks Mertagne is a significantly better team than Kordavia and Natot plus their advantage.

Group 8: Group 8 has seen one of the biggest surprises of the tournament so far with BoF nation Stewartika sitting on top with 32 points, making their Round of 64 loss to Konstantino look even more surprising at this point. Their remaining schedule is very challenging however with a visit to Kelssek and a home match against a Langenia team that my model believes to be better than their record. (OOC: Just from a quick glimpse at their RP level, it sure looks to me like Langenia have been unlucky with Margaret.) Kelssek, the 10th ranked team in the latest KPB+ rankings, have underperformed in qualifying and are sitting at just 28 points. The Martian Independent Republic sits at 25 points. Both of them have a match in hand compared to Stewartika. Finally, there is Sajnur who have 18 points and are technically not eliminated yet. Sajnur's upcoming matches with Kelssek and Martian Independent Republic do slightly increase their odds but they are still well below 1% as their path to qualification relies upon Kelssek not winning any more matches. My model thinks very highly of Kelssek due to their rank and gives them a 96.4% chance of finishing top 2 in part because it gives them a 62.1% chance of defeating Stewartika on matchday 15. Stewartika has the second best chance of a top 2 finish at 82.1%. My model does not think highly of The Martian Independent Republic giving them just a 20.8% chance of a top 2 finish.

Group 9: #16 Chromatika has already locked up a top 2 spot in this group with 33 points and 3 matches to go. But the race for that second spot is still wide open with 6 teams technically still in it. Archalit has no realistic hope of a top 2 finish at 11 points with 4 matches to go, 12 back of The Ko-orenite Constellation and Dantopia, both sitting on 23 points. United States of Alpha sit at 18 with Atymnius at 15 and Abanhfleft at 14. In terms of quality, The Ko-orenite Constellation are clearly the second best team in this group according to my model but a run of draws has dragged them down in the table. Their victory over Dantopia on matchday 14 makes them the favorites to take the second spot in this group at 41.3% probability. Dantopia is second at 38.4%. United States of Alpha still has an 11.6% chance. My model does not think much of the remainder of the group. Atymnius has to rank as one of the most underperforming of the BoF class and they have the 4th best odds of the logjam at 7.7%. If either Dantopia or The Ko-orenite Constellation manages to defeat Chromatika, their odds dramatically increase. If both of them defeat Chromatika, then Chromatika's odds of winning the group drop under 60% and the field behind the top 3 is virtually eliminated.

Group 10: This is another group where 4 teams are technically alive but only 3 are realistically alive. Kanzlia sits atop the group with 37 points. Farfadillis and Solgavden each have 28 with a game in hand over the group leaders. Solarampa sits at 17, needing both Farfadillis and Solgavden to lose 4 straight to have a chance. Both Farfadillis and Solgavden still have remaining matches with Solarampa and Kanzlia. Kanzlia need just a win or 2 draws in those matches to lock up a top 2 finish and potentially lock up the group altogether. Hence my model projects them as having a 98.2% chance of a top 2 finish and an 89.3% chance of winning the group outright. Farfadillis is the slight favorite over Solgavden to reach the top 2 (57.3% to 44.7%) because they're considered the better team.

Group 11: Another group where it has almost been decided already. Vdara have already clinched a top 2 spot at 34 points with 4 matches to go. Milchama are currently second with 29 points and 4 to go. Both have a match in hand over Grod Island who are third with 23 points. Grod Island's matchday 15 match at Vdara will likely end their qualifying hopes as Milchama also holds the head to head tiebreaker. Hence we project Milchama as having a 96.5% chance of finishing top 2 and Grod Island as having a 3.5% chance. Vdara and Milchama have a match coming up in Vdara on matchday 17. Hence my model projects Milchama as having an 11.4% chance of winning the group, largely dependent upon Vdara losing to both Grod Island and Milchama down the stretch.

Group 12: In Group 12, we have a 4 team race that is really a 3 team race. All 4 teams have 4 matches remaining with multiverse #1 Squornshelan Remnant States at 28, Anewkansas at 26, Dhemixia at 25 and United Adaikes sitting a distant fourth at 17. SRS has remaining matches @ United Adaikes and vs Dhemixia. Anewkansas plays 5th placed Alanis Star (1 point behind United Adaikes at 16), United Adaikes and Dhemixia. Dhemixia's remaining schedule is 2 minnows on matchdays 15 and 16 followed by SRS and Anewkansas back to back. Thus, the model gives United Adaikes less than a 1% chance of reaching the top 2. It sees SRS as the favorite at 78.4% followed by Anewkansas at 65.6% followed by Dhemixia at 55.1%.

Group 14: Banija has already locked up a top 2 spot in group 14 with 37 points in 13 matches. Reçueçn is currently second with 31 points and a match in hand. Kita-Hinode and Kandorith are 3rd and 4th with 23 and 22 respectively in 13 matches apiece. Reçueçn also holds the head to head tiebreaker over both nations. My model gives Reçueçn a 75.3% chance of winning at Shiverian Republics on matchday 15 and a 99.999% chance of finishing top 2 in this group. Kandorith is already eliminated as they cannot finish ahead of Reçueçn and cannot win the tiebreaker. Kita-Hinode must win out and Reçueçn must lose out. That is their only path to the top 2. This group is over and the fat lady is already starting her song.

Group 15: 4 teams are technically still in the race in Group 15. However, #7 Edsmontik is running away with the group as expected. They have 32 points in 12 matches and a match in hand on both teams that can still technically catch them. Those teams are Osterhalten (27) and West Vdara (24). Qasden (17) are still technically in contention with a match in hand. Konstantino is eliminated as they lost both head to head matches to Osterhalten and, at 15 points, cannot finish ahead of them. West Vdara has the head to head tiebreaker over Osterhalten. Both nations play Qasden. Osterhalten has a remaining match at Edsmontik that we expect Edsmontik but due to the tiebreaker still has the slight advantage at 56.5% to 45.2%. Edsmontik has a 97.4% chance of finishing top 2 based on their rank and their performance thus far in qualifying. My model also gives Edsmontik an 86.2% chance of winning the group outright.

Group 16: Ethane leading this group with 32 points while ranked 377th is one of the major surprises of qualifying thus far. The other serious contenders have a match in hand on Ethane. Those are Baker Park (26), Saterun (23) and Riandera (22). Tristan de Cunha is technically still in it at 20 points. Matchday 15 will see a critical match as Baker Park visits Ethane. My model expects Baker Park to take that match. The other critical remaining matches are Riandera @ Saterun on matchday 17 and Saterun @ Baker Park on matchday 18. Currently, my model projects Ethane to have a 82.4% chance of finishing top 2 with Baker Park having a 79.4% chance. Riandera does have better odds than Saterun because of strength of schedule but their 20.5% odds are highly dependent upon Baker Park being upset by Saterun on matchday 18. Saterun has 15.6% odds. The remainder is Tristan de Cunha's odds which are dependent upon them defeating Saterun and both Ethane and Saterun defeating Baker Park. My model is high on Baker Park because it sees them as better than their record.

Group 17: Group 17 is the other group where there's talk of Unofficial World Championships. Aleirave took it off of Kimi-Suomi at home on matchday 9 which makes their matchday 18th match especially highly anticipated in Audioslavia even as the other lineage that was held by the Free Republics coming into this tournament is now split 3 ways between Nordernious, Juvencus and Sernet depending on whether you count the Imperator's Cup and the matches that Jeruselem played before their expulsion from the tournament. Only the FFR could manage to split that title 3 separate ways by returning to the World Cup for the first time in 15 years! Then blow our chance to reunify 2 of the strands and qualify for the World Cup in the process. But I digress. 5 teams remain technically in contention in Group 17. Kimi-Suomi is sitting on 33 points. Aleirave has 29 but everybody else has a match in hand compared to them. Sarzonia has 22 then Bhumi Matawis Empire and Anonymegg are sitting at 19. Aleirave does have a home match against Anonymegg coming up on matchday 17 but my model thinks Anonymegg have been lucky in this tournament so it discounts their chances. Aleirave's matchday 14 victory over Sarzonia secured the head to head tiebreaker for them over their main rival for second place in the group. With Sarzonia also having remaining matches against Anonymegg, Kimi-Suomi and BME still to go, their odds of a top 2 finish are very low: just 25.2%. My model gives Aleirave a 72.4% chance of a top 2 finish and Kimi-Suomi a 96.6% chance of such. As for the Aleirave vs Kimi-Suomi match, Kimi-Suomi has a 47.3% chance of reclaiming their claim to be the world champions.

Group 18: Group 18 has largely played out according to the chalk except for Grand Exultia's collapse. World Cup 99 champs Audioslavia lead at 30 points then Hapilopper at 26 and a match in hand over the other contenders. They're followed by 4th place BoF nation Snestar at 25 and then BoF third place team Super Earth at 23. My model has Audioslavia as a virtual lock to reach the top 2 with 3 matches remaining against minnows. Their odds are 99.4% for top 2 and 94.5% for winning the group outright. Hapilopper's only difficult remaining match is on matchday 18 at Snestar. Snestar will also visit Super Earth on matchday 17 for another rematch of the BoF third place match between the budding rivals. Otherwise, these nations are facing minnows. If Hapilopper cleans up against the 3 minnows on matchdays 15 through 17, as expected, they lock up second place in the group before they even face Snestar. Hence, my model gives Hapilopper an 82.4% chance of making the top 2. Super Earth has a 10.1% chance and Snestar has the remainder. This is because my model thinks the scenario where Snestar beats Hapilopper and Super Earth beats Snestar is slightly more likely than Snestar running the table. But it is probably going to be Audioslavia and Hapilopper with the Bulls going directly back to the World Cup.

Group 19: This group is virtually over. Tanirinthia has already clinched a top 2 finish at 34 points. Airannia hold the head to head tiebreaker over Sudilla and have an 11 point lead over them for second place (31 to 20). An Airannia draw or win would clinch the other top 2 spot in the group. Airannia play 3 rosterless minnows so my model gives them a 99.99999% chance of finishing top 2 in the group. However, Tanirinthia has a 96.5% chance of winning the group due to their 3 point lead plus their 21 goal advantage in goal difference. I doubt any neutrals will be watching Group 19 action over the remainder of qualifying. Not that many were to begin with as this is likely the worst qualifying group of World Cup 100 by a substantial margin.

Group 20: Group 20 is, fortunately, much less of a snoozer than Group 19. The story of the group has been #20 TJUN-ia's underperformance. As of right now, they are in 4th place at 19 points and cannot win the group. Valentine Z leads with 33 points followed by BoF runners-up Choppyhausen at 27 then Sangti and the Filindo Isles at 21. Sangti and the Filindo Isles appears to be the nation formerly known as The Royal Barangay. The other 3 contenders all have a match in hand on Choppyhausen. Choppyhausen's next 2 matches against Sangti and TJUN-ia on matchdays 15 and 16 could determine second place in this group. Valentine Z has an insurmountable lead in the goal difference tiebreaker over both Choppyhausen and Sangti which would be the tiebreaker if either of those nations end up tied as they split with Choppyhausen and won the first match against Sangti. Valentine Z has upcoming matches on matchdays 16 and 17 against Sangti and TJUN-ia. Hence my model gives Valentine Z a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% chance (OOC: Honestly, I could have entered any number of 9s for that and it would still be a reasonable guesstimate. It isn't 100% because you can technically create a set of results where they'd finish 3rd but such a set of results would be so suspicious that the WCDT would be debating the possibility of foul play by the hosts.) of finishing in the top 2 in this group since third placed Sangti cannot finish ahead of them and has no realistic chance of winning the tiebreaker. My model gives Choppyhausen a 80.3% chance of finishing top 2 with the other 2 nations each having approximately a 10% chance of a top 2 finish. This involves a scenario in which Choppyhausen loses both matches against contenders and draws/loses to Behh while either Sangti and the Filindo Isles or TJUN-ia wins out.

Group 21: This is another group where 5 teams are technically still alive. Pasarga lead the group, as expected, with 31 points. Natkr has 26, followed by Katzeburg at 25 then Kaumann at 22 and Felinetopia at 16. Katzeburg has 1 fewer remaining match than the others. Pasarga are clearly the top team in this group in terms of quality with remaining matches against Natkr and Felinetopia. My model gives Pasarga 96.2% odds to finish top 2. Their odds of winning the group are dependent upon winning or drawing the Natkr match. Natkr also has a remaining match against Kaumann but my model thinks Kaumann are overperforming based on their underwater goal difference and middling rank. Katzeburg, however, has the far easier schedule with zero remaining opponents that have a winning record. Hence my model favors Natkr 48.2% to 47.8% and does not give Kaumann and Felinetopia much of a chance of a top 2 finish.

Group 22: Group 22 is a 3 way race with the top 2 clearly ahead. United States of Nova Calania and Zenic are both sitting at 31 points. Bonusia from the BoF class is at 23. Nova Calania and Bonusia have a match in hand against Zenic. The 2 group leaders split their head to head and Nova Calania's goal difference lead is just 2 goals so the tiebreaker is too close to call. Nova Calania won the tiebreaker over Bonusia by beating them on matchday 13. Bonusia has a home match against Zenic on matchday 18 with the tiebreaker on the line as they drew their first match. However, that match will only be meaningful if Bonusia can make up a 5 point gap. Even with a match in hand, this requires Zenic to draw or lose against either Moladea or Porotia, neither of whom are considered particularly stiff opposition. Per my model, Nova Calania's top 2 odds are 99.1% as they only need a draw to ensure that Bonusia cannot surpass them in points and are facing exclusively minnow opposition the rest of the way. Zenic's top 2 odds are 90.2% with Bonusia still having a roughly 10% chance but they would need a miracle to pull it off.

Group 23: Group 23 is down to 3 teams that still have a shot. #3 Flavovespia is undefeated and untied through 12 matches, sitting at 36 points. They look every bit like one of the favorites to win it all this year. Cobrio sits at 28 points and Ochre Islands at 20. Cobrio also has a match in hand over their opposition. They split the head to head so it'd come down to goal difference where Cobrio has a 12 goal advantage. Not necessarily insurmountable but very close. Cobrio do have a match upcoming at Flavovespia but my model gives them no realistic chance of winning the group given that they'd still have an insurmountable goal difference deficit in the tiebreaker race with Flavovespia. Flavovespia has 94.3% odds of taking this group and Cobrio has 97.6% odds of finishing top 2 even though Ochre Island does not face any particularly challenging opposition. My model just can't see Cobrio collapsing.

Group 24: Group 24 is still technically a 4 team race. Indusse is sitting at 35 points after 13 matches with HUElavia at 27 and The Osnari Federation at 23. Warkus is technically still alive at 17 with a match in hand. Indusse's next 2 matches are at Warkus and home against HUElavia. They've already locked up a top 2 position but need either a win or a draw and HUElavia dropping points to lock up the auto-bid. HUElavia has a significant quality advantage over The Osnari Federation and Warkus so my model gives them an 83.2% chance of finishing top 2 due to playing minnows Germanic Cat and Bruinswik in their final 2 matches. The Osnari Federation has a 16.2% chance of finishing top 2 due to a soft remaining schedule and the possibility that HUElavia falters. Indusse has an 86.8% chance of winning the group.

Group 25: Both spots in the top 2 of this group have already been clinched by Siovanija and Teusland and by Darmen. S&T have 36 points, Darmen have 33 but Darmen has a match in hand. S&T beat Darmen in the first head to head match on matchday 9. The rematch will be matchday 18 in Darmen. Yawn. My model gives S&T a 74.4% chance of winning the group because it thinks they're the better team. Moving on.

Group 26: Oberour Ar Moro has already clinched a top 2 spot in this group at 35 points through 13 matches. The only thing keeping them from clinching the group is Drawkland's game in hand. Drawkland and Legalese each have 25 points. Tornadico (18) and The Golden Harp (16) are technically still in it but they both have extremely low probabilities of finishing top 2 even with matches in hand. Legalese is coming off of a 3 goals to nil victory over Drawkland on matchday 4 but the Kick Corps are still overwhelmingly favored by my model because of their goal difference edge and match in hand. They have a very similar remaining schedule with matches remaining against Oberour Ar Moro, Tornadico and Andso Mangis. Drawkland also faces The Golden Harp. My model gives Drawkland a 60.2% chance with Legalese coming in at 39.5%. As for Oberour Ar Moro's odds of winning the group outright, those are 94.1% as my model expects them to beat Tornadico even if they lose to both Drawkland and Legalese.

Group 27: #11 Kamijiro has won this group in a walkover, winning their first 13 matches to reach 39 points. The race for second place is technically wide open with 6 teams still in contention. But my model likes The Holy Empire because of their pedigree and their match in hand. They're also currently in second with 21 points. Equinox Auraterra sits at 19 with just 3 matches left then Bull Sheet at 18 with 4 remaining. The ponies of Equestria are at 17 with 3 left then Sinyal at 16 with 4 remaining. Al-Tamazgha technically still has a shot as well at 11. My model gives them a 79.4% chance of taking second place with Bull Sheet having the next best odds at 14.4% due to a soft schedule. That's even with Kamijiro paying a visit to The Holy Empire on matchday 16. That match is considered the one where Kamijiro is most likely to drop points.

Group 28: HOT-DAMN has won 13 out of 13 matches and has secured a top 2 finish. Zwangzug is in second place at 31 points with a match in hand and a matchday 17 visit upcoming to HOT-DAMN. Hanalia is the only other nation technically still alive in this group at 23 points but Zwangzug has a match in hand over them and the head to head tiebreaker. That means Zwangzug merely needs a draw in 4 matches to clinch a top 2 finish. Hence my model gives Zwangzug a 99.1% chance of finishing top 2 and a 16.2% chance of toppling HOT-DAMN for first place in the group.

Group 29: The last 2 groups are 2 of the most competitive groups in this year's qualifying. Saint Eleanor and Pyazhnaya currently lead this group with 28 points followed by Xanneria and Woodsmere at 24 and 23 respectively. Himurajima is technically still alive at 19 with a match in hand. Saint Eleanor also has a match in hand on the other 3. Realistically speaking, Woodsmere must beat Pyazhnaya at home on matchday 16 and Xanneria must beat Saint Eleanor away on matchday 16 to have any chance of finishing top 2. Himurajima does not have a realistic path to the top 2 based on my model's low estimation of their quality. Hence, Saint Eleanor's odds of a top 2 finish at 82.3% with Pyazhnaya's at 74.5%. Woodsmere has the better odds of the chasers at 24.8% with Xanneria at 18.0%.

Group 30: Group 30's leaders are Captina Island (27), Eshialand (26), Montagne Noire (23), Krytenia (23) and Putrasia (17). Krytenia and Captina Island currently have 1 fewer match remaining. Captina Island has a challenging remaining schedule with Krytenia and Montagne Noire. Eshialand faces Montagne Noire and 3 minnows. Hence my model sees Eshialand as the group favorite at 77.4% probability of a top 2 finish. Montagne Noire's match in hand and only schedule difference compared to Krytenia is Eshialand. Captina Island ranks second in terms of probability because of their additional points and head to head tiebreaker over Eshialand. My model gives them a 70.2% chance of a top 2 finish. Of the other 2, we like Krytenia slightly better with a 25.2% probability to Montagne Noire's 24.9%. This is mainly due to their deeper pedigree in the World Cup.

With that, we have officially covered all 30 groups and can bring this extremely long article to an end. Per orders of the Grand Immortal Imperator, no large language models (LLMs) were used in the writing of this article. The statistical model I used factors in various data including match results, remaining schedule, KPB+ rankings, international media coverage of various nations, history in the World Cup, etc. (OOC: In reality, the "model" is just guesstimations in my brain based on these things and also OOC knowledge about how scorinators work and how this World Cup is being scorinated. The probabilities should not be assumed to be 100% accurate but I tried, to the best of my ability, to make these predictions as reasonably accurate as possible.) Be sure to subscribe to Sporting World Plus for additional analytics informed content about international and domestic sports. And live streams of obscure RCAA sports that you can't find on TV.

Sarah Fuerst-Lucchese is a former second baseman for the World Baseball Classic 46 champion National Baseball Team and the author of the infamous "sign-stealing program" that got the Free Republics disqualified from World Baseball Classic 49. She is Sporting World's Senior Analytics Columnist and lives in Republica with her husband Elio Lucchese.

[Mertagne]

MERTAGNE BACK IN THE GAME WITH 10 GOAL THRILLER
The record 10-3 victory over Damukuni is Mertagne's best WCC result to date

-- Ostosaide, MERTAGNE The Green Goblins were unleashed on Damukuni last night in a thrilling game at the Ring Tank Stadium, with Mertagne notching up three more points in their World Cup 100 qualifying campaign by scoring an incredible 10-3 victory.

Mertagne seemed to be bringing their A-game to the match from the off, with manager Claudio Vantula choosing to send in an attacking lineup, sending out Angela Nonody and Lloyd Linsday from the start, and pushing the defense up the field to elicit a sense of pressure on the Damukuni side. This was a strategy that seemed to pay off immediately, as Mertagne's first real attack in the 4th minute saw an in form and at the ready Trebuchet firing a low slung shot past the Damukuni keeper to place the first scratches on what would turn out to be a long score sheet. It seemed that early on, Damukuni were having a tough time dealing with the Mertagnian offensive efforts, with a patient yet persistent approach seeing Mertagne create several more chances in the opening stages of the match. These efforts bore fruit just a few minutes later, this time with an unchecked Aislin Du Moucel this time finding the back of the net with a hammer of a strike from just outside the box, doubling Mertagne's lead.

Damukuni saw themselves bounce back a little in the middle of the first half, and focused on the counterattack from some Mertagnian runs up the field that had left key gaps in the defensive third. Lorne Stannard, seemingly lacking for moments to shine so far in the match, took a risky maneuver to come out of the box to intercept a long ball over the top, only to be beaten to the punch by a quick movement from the Damukuni striker, who was able to bring Damukuni back into the game and set the score to 2-1. Vantula didn't seem to be pressed by this, however, and continued to bark at the Green Goblins to keep the pressure on. Vantula's approach this tournament has been one of seemingly relentless attack against teams that he feels are unable to take it, and with a variety of multiversal sporting minnows performing for the first time at this stage of the tournament, it's a tactic that seems to be paying dividends. Damukuni, of course, have played Mertagne in WCC competition before, but didn't seem to be reactive to a Mertagnian all-out-attack strategy, and looked in rough form off of the back of their game with group leaders Crpostran in the last matchday.

The remainder of the first half saw an further peppering of goals from Mertagne, with one more from Trebuchet and Mertagne's fourth goal of the match from a free kick scored by Roland Auber. It seemed that the Green Goblins were really coming into their own, buoyed by the crowd at the Ring Tank Stadium, and were setting a pace for the game that Damukuni were unable to slow down in their own half. A lucky escape for Damukuni came in the additional time before half time, with the Damukuni strikers again able to move themsleves past Mertagne's lethal six - the midfield and the hunched forward wing backs. Stannard attempted to parry the ball away, but simply deflected it back out towards a different attacker, who was faster on the rebound and able to slot it home to make the score 4-2 at half time.

The second half saw Vantula continue to push the team forward, and the Mertagnian side, clearly impassioned by their own first half performance, continued to drive the attack foward at pace. The first ten minutes of the second half saw a blistering series of attacks on the goal, with a record six shots on target in ten minutes, with an amazing three of those shots finding themselves converted. The front two paring of Trebuchet and Nazer Armenadriz were in particularly fine form, with Armenadriz getting himself on the board twice in quick succession to make the score 6-2 before Trebuchet added his hat trick goal to make it 7-2. The results from the bombardment of goals likely served to steel the Damukuni side, who made a series of substitutions into a more attacking formation to try and claw back some of the deficit. This saw Damukuni get another goal back in the 65th minute, with a well worked team move resulting in a tap in from close range to make the score 7-3.

Fans certainly got their money's worth from a goal perspective, and while many Damukuni fans had left the stadium by the 70th minute, Mertagne continued to pile on the pressure, refusing to relent against their opponents. A substitution on the attacking front saw Christine Newbury replace Trebuchet, and the move paid off almost immediately, with Newbury getting on the score sheet just five minutes after coming on to make it 8-3 after a daring move saw her cut inside from the right wing and fire a low shot into the bottom corner of the net. The barrage continued from there, as the final two goals came from a series of set pieces - a penalty was awarded to Mertagne after a clumsy challenge on Armenadriz in the box, and Armenadriz delivered handily by stepping up to convert the spot kick. An unlikely final goal came from Lloyd Lindsay, as a drilled Mertagnian squad took a corner kick which saw Lindsay rise to the occasion and head the ball home to a raptourous home crowd to make the final score of the match a record 10-3.

The emphatic victory has the potential to be a real shot in the arm for the Green Goblins' campaign, which has seen some impressive victories but also a couple of key draws and losses to teams that are also in the running for one of the top two spots in Group 7. Mertagne are keen to avoid the playoffs and would ideally like to be one of the thirty teams to qualify directly for the World Cup 100 finals, but a route to the finals of the tournament via the playoffs are emeinently possible if they can maintain their current form. The Green Goblins are now one of three teams able to claim the top spot, and will be looking to continue their winning streak towards the end of the qualifying campaign, if their luck doesn't run out before then. Claudio Vantula is likely satified that this largely attacking style, that has worked so well against some of the less experienced teams in the tournament, is clearly paying off, but it's unliekly that such a plan will survive intact against the more hardened and experienced competition that Mertagne would face in the later stages of the tournament were they to make it. Will Vantula be able to adapt his tactics accordingly? Only time will tell.

[Ko-oren]

The Dragonflies have broken a 3-game non-winning streak that consisted of a loss to Qusmo (4-1), a 0-0 draw versus bottom pot Shizuna Rem Misurugi, and a 1-1 versus Carpathia and Ruthenia. The game that finally got us something in the W column was a 5-1 win over Indo-Athena. The 0-0 draw made it to Jarongi's WCQ Fantasy game's official Upset list, reserved for the most headscratching of results.

So after the Greenblues gave up one goal in the first five games - at which point most of the multiverse realised that this might be a special team under a special coach with a special formula - the team immediately lost 4-1, ruining the defensive record, dropping way back in goals per game (which once was reported as 4.6), but it was all manageable. After all, there's no campaign without a crazy loss. The team found its form with a 6-1 and a 5-0 win, but that's as far as the team got. The next three results were, as mentioned, a loss and two draws. Even with the 5-1 win to stop the slide, the Dragonflies are now 50th in the overall qualification table out of 270 teams, with a shameful 12 goals conceded (exactly one per game), the cushion over the rest of the group disappeared, and we've fallen very fast from 'LISA's darlings' to 'hang on, it's just business as usual'. The theologians looking into the existence of a new goddess aside from Margaret and claiming there must be something new out there partially staked that claim on the Dragonflies' results. Well, feel free to retract that research paper.

And so there's four games left as we're exactly three-quarters in. At Coercia, versus Oscioru to avenge the 4-1 loss, at Lebronsleftnut, and closing at home versus Canamn. On paper, that's about the easiest schedule that the qualifiers can throw at you - main challengers Qusmo have yet to play a similar schedule though, with Indo-Athena, Coercia, Oscioru, and Lebronsleftnut. Qusmo's energy going into the final stretch is very different coming off of a draw that followed seven straight victories. They were counted out early, taking three points from four games to start the proceedings, but since then they've easily made it back to the contenders' club. Carpathia and Ruthenia, on the outside looking in, have just three games left to correct a three-point deficit, against Shizuna Rem Misurugi, Indo-Athena, and Coercia. That happens to be the bottom three teams in the group as it stands.

Circling back to the Dragonflies: they're still pretty good at scoring goals (42 in 12 is 3.5 per game and still comfortably our best scoring campaign ever) but results-wise we've been more than caught by the rest of the multiverse. As mentioned, we're now 50th in the overall table, but by now seventeen teams have better goal differences than us, twenty-five teams have better defensive records (not corrected for games played, so some have 12, some have 13 matches done). We're also 18th in goals scored, but honestly that's never been a rubric that we measure ourselves against.

What is, however, an absolute affront to Margaret is the fact that we've lost two games by three or more goals. The last time we've done this is... well, the Fantasy stats have been there since the late 80s and the Dragonflies have never lost this badly this often since these stats were recorded. Straight up, this defence is broken.

Early in the cycle we, and many others, praised the back line for their daring, their ability to carry the ball into the midfield, where there'd often be five or six players to overpower and outman the opposing midfield, and from where direct paths to big chances were found. That's what fast backs like Senothonnau can give you, or more visionary centrebacks like Todaka, or the adventurous yGorllaeneal. Any of those three can win the ball back and immediately launch a measured counterattack. And the rest - we've seen Mellowby, Nieuwboom, Loper, and Aedil play plenty of minutes - aren't terrible at that either, or you wouldn't make the national team to begin with. Let's be honest - Ko-oren has third string centrebacks that would start for most national teams out there (then again, there are teams with fifth string wingers that would be first on the team sheet had they been born here). But with a defence like that, you have to produce. Clean sheets first, interceptions and counters second.

Senothonnau hasn't been with the team for a full window, Todaka opted out of a game here and there for injury concerns, Mellowby has straight up looked like himself 10 years ago, barely 17, and yGorllaeneal has been quite the turnover producer. Not only has the Di Maozoxe defender won back a lot of loose balls, he's also given them straight back to the oppponent on our half.

And with that defence, it's hard to keep up our game. Is it on the coach? Maybe. Can he not inspire Todaka and Senothonnau to show up for the national team? Sure, but that's only partially on him. Should he look for a different way to play that fits the personnel that's left? Yes. Should Andrade and Meigun play more often to cover up defensive issues? 100%. Does the attacking gameplan need to be looked at if the supply side lacks? Absolutely.

Hang on, is this a coaching problem?

Juliasterinthen seems to disagree. After all, he's just given himself a WCC Lifetime Achievement Award for his cycles in charge as president, as well as a WCC Tactician's Medal in recognition of his coaching pedigree over the years before his WCC duties. "With the current WCC President unavailable, I've taken it upon myself to award these trophies to dignitaries of the organisation and luminaries in football. As such, I, Katanmak Juliasterinthen, must recognise the achievements by Katanmak Juliasterinthen, and will award these two medals that are presented to individuals who, through their unwavering commitment and their special actions, have helped to unite people all over the world in peace and consequently deserve a special and unique recognition."

In the next national team press conference, he waved away all criticism of his personnel and tactical decisions. "They literally gave me a medal for my tactical vision - it would be strange if that's what's causing our issues." When asked what he thought was the cause for the losses, his answer was "It's our rightback, Nieuwboom, to be honest. He's terrible." Nieuwboom proceeded to play the next 180 minutes, assisting once for the Carpathia and Ruthenia equaliser, and looking impressive in the subsequent 5-1 win.

OOC: part of the award quote is Infantino's about Trump's FIFA Peace Prize.

[The Ko-orenite Constellation]

As the Constellation Championship drew nearer, the pressure to find a matches for all the fixtures after the group stage, rose. There were four groups, each group hosted by a single territory, but then there would be two semifinals and one final - and the right to host those three games would be the largest honour any territory would enjoy on a sporting level. It's not quite 'Treaty of Ntu' or 'Treaty of Dhidiyah' level, but 'host of the first AFC final' surely was going to be up there.

As in, in the meantime, there were attempts for a Constellation Ice Hockey Championship, a Constellation Baseball Trophy, and so on, but the AFC and its football tournament were there first. And it was all eyes on them: further political integration stalled and waited for a little more cultural relevance of the cooperation between nations, and sports could offer just that. Constellationvision could also offer that - and it was certainly in the works as well - but hey.

The play-ins that were announced for Mercatoren and the other uninvited territories, had taken place as well. With most of the materials already printed, the marketing ready, and promises to the original 20 invited teams months behind us at this point, there was little sense in kicking out even little Vesturvindoren in favour of Mercatoren. The AFC would have to do some home cooking, basically. First, they made sure that Mercatoren would play the strongest of the four of the play-in candidates, and after that it was time for another Meia-Armadoren football speciality: the Constellation's most corrupt referees. A penalty to Zakhoren, several yellows - and to be honest, outright reds - not given (and other yellows tactically awarded to Mercatoren's finest), later, it was Zakhoren 1, Mercatoren 0. VAR? Yeah, let's not.

The procedure was easily repeated for the other three. Vesturvindoren 2-1 Ponga & Waratahoren was played in the former's freezing temperatures that the latter weren't used to. As in, normally Vesturvindoren play indoors - not that night. They played outside, on a night with strong winds and low temperatures projected, sleet and rain beating down on the unsuspecting visitors. There was Synephoren beating Arhoren and they kind of didn't need any tricks for that - Arhoren were actively terrible at football. Lastly there was Antakodrandavoren, already invited, and probably the hardest one to justify, but Chanmingoren demanded easy opponents (and the group draw just happened to match the two together) and luckily for them, both Taloren, Talmagoren, and Terähören had their best players selected by Tarören (and then promptly dropped for the World Cup qualifiers) so all three just declined the offer to travel all the way to Antakodrandavoren.

Group draw intact. Twenty too-early invitations were safe.

[Zwangzug]

By taking the first and last line of each other sonnet, we can form an eighth sonnet to complete the cycle.

Here at the junction of future and past
There's hardly time to look forward or back.
The ball is round, the stadiums are vast.
We earn our stripes; the world is white and black.

And yet our names are stitched within a chain:
The fans' memories are not theirs alone.
The archives honor sacrifice and pain,
They echo back each anthem and each groan.

Lasft and Centralis, fates remade and sealed:
Cormorants, Black-and-Reds, and Fire Ants:
Dimensions are the same on every field,
Each generation brings new songs and chants.

Here, nations are more than collective sin;
Teams join together, strive and play and win.

The Spenson Star

Zwangzug's hopes of edging out HOT-DAMN for the automatic qualification spot took a significant setback when they dropped points against Hanalia. The hosts took the lead at their generically-named National Stadium in minute 17, wih Damien Guy assisting Kirsten Nelson. Zwangzug struggled to get back in the game, with miscommunication between Sohini Dravid and Sullivan Brecht causing some frayed tempers throughout the first half. In minute 38, Daniel McJade found an opening and, with Zwangzug's numerous midfield bodies crowding out the central part of the field, dribbled forward speculatively. But an unlikely header from Camille Sibelius, not a particularly tall or assertive player, led to a fortunate clearance for Zwangzug; Brunnhilde Lavrans was able to dodge back onside, and had an unimpeded shot at the equalizer.

During the second half, Sally Mooney came on in place of Daniel Lin. Five minutes after her arrival, however, she was sent off by the referee for vehemently disagreeing with his terrible takes on literary fiction. Zwangzug were perhaps unlucky not to find a breakthrough against ten players, but alert clearances from Fabian Hass kept the visitors level.

The result means it's highly probable that Zwangzug will wind up in the playoffs, even if they manage to take a point or three off HOT-DAMN. Bishen Varadarajan professed unconcern: "I'm not worried about those other countries. Those teams worry about playing us." His touching confidence in his side, however, was slightly tempered by the fact that he obviously has no idea which other teams are currently second in their groups because it's stressful enough following this one.

MD14: Hegesa 13, Istibar 29 and 55, Mookaiah 30 and 81 and 82, Gerdt-Arbden 74

[Audioslavia]

THE _____________|  |______________
   / ||  |    |  |  ||    |  |  /
  /__||__ \   |  |__||__  |  | /
 /   ||    \  |  |  ||    |  | \
/    ||_____| |  |  ||___ | _|_ \__
                 |  |       CYC 100

Holding On For a ‘Jiro
Kamijiro have utterly annihilated their qualifying group, but where does their performance land on an all-time scale?

One of only two teams in their group on Matchday One to get a win, and the only of those two to add a second victory in the next matchday, Kamijiro have thus sat astride Group 27 for the entirety of the qualifiers. Even by just the halfway point of the qualifiers, their points total doubled that of their closest rivals. Here, after thirteen games played, they could lose their final three matches ten-nil each and still finish comfortably top by six points, and with a positive goal difference to boot. As it stands, the gap is eighteen. The fact that they command this lead over a team as accomplished as The Holy Empire - a team who has played in more World Cup final matches than any other in history - only adds to the wonder of their performance this cycle.

Here at the Aesthetic, we have qualifying data for cycles 7 to 98 (we never quite got round to 99, but with 45 qualifiers from only 150 entrants its unlikely to yield any outliers in the way we’re looking), and we’ve had a look to figure out where to place this frightning Kamijiro team.

That gap at the top is 18 points. Let’s imagine that stays the same even despite the game in hand The Holy Empire have over the group leaders. If we want to find another lead of 18 or more points at the top, we have to go all the way to Turori in World Cup 88 - a team that would go on to win the entire tournament.

World Cup 88 Qualifying Group 15
Q  1 Turori                17-1-0      52 (wins group by 19 points)
X  2 Reçueçn               10-3-5      33
-  3 Krytenia              7-7-4       28
   4 Gergary               7-2-9       23
   5 Acronius              6-4-8       22
   6 Hispinas              5-6-7       21
   7 Baggieland            6-3-9       21
   8 Queenisa              5-4-9       19
   9 Fluvannia             5-3-10      18
  10 Valentine Z           4-3-11      15

Impressed? Don’t be. That was a ten-team group, with six more points up for grabs. Going only on PPG, Kamijiro’s 18-point gap is better than all but one performance in the last sixteen cycles, that one being Yuezhou’s perfect 42 points in WC95 Qualifying group 11, where they finished 17 points ahead of a Drawkland side that would qualify comfortably via the playoffs.

World Cup 95 Qualifying Group 11
Q  1 Yuezhou               14-0-0      42 (wins group by 1.21 PPG)
P  2 Drawkland             8-1-5       25
-  3 Sendhang              7-3-4       24
   4 Saterun               7-2-5       23
   5 Bongo Johnson         4-3-7       15
   6 Cheetahs and Reptile  4-1-9       13
   7 Svalbardycity         3-3-8       12
   8 Newlandiq             2-1-11       7

So is either a record? Turori or Yuezhou? Of course not. Here, for example, is Bedistan just about scraping into the World Cup

World Cup 25 Qualifying Group 7: 
Q  1 Bedistan              18-0-0      54 (qualifies by a 30 point margin)
Q  2 Lovisa                14-2-2      44
Q  3 Spruitland            10-2-6      32
-  4 The Weegies           7-3-8       24
   5 Nanakaland            6-3-9       21
   6 Athestan              6-2-10      20
   7 Cuation               5-4-9       19
   8 Kipto-Mare            5-3-10      18
   9 Trebnak               4-2-12      14
  10 Demonlord12           2-5-11      11

In terms of Points per Game, a combination of Demot’s high standing in the early 40s and the luck of the draw account for Demot qualifying with a Points per Game advantage of 1.8 over the first non-auto qual place.

World Cup 41 Group 8
Q  1 Demot                 9-1-0       28 (qualifies by 1.8 PPG)
Q  2 Jasiyun               7-2-1       23
-  3 Kansiov               3-1-6       10
   4 Kenavt                2-3-5        9
   5 The Islands of Qutar  2-2-6        8
   6 Kiryu-shi             2-1-7        7

Arguably the most impressive thing about Kamijiro’s peformance isn’t necessarily their total points, but more the speed at which it was clear that they would win the group. As it turns out, they were mathematically confirmed as group winners with a whole five matchdays to go. The last time this was equalled or beaten was back in World Cup 85, a cycle in which, if you recall, we had groups of thirteen teams, meaning Banija and Vilita only wrapped up their groups on matchday 18 of 24, which turns out to be an all-time record. Looking at group sizes a little closer to WC100’s lots of nine, Eura in WC81 and Nephara in WC82 are the only two teams in the last 20 cycles who can come close, both qualifying with six games still to play.

Of course, you could also measure this kind of dominance by trying to figure out how many games after the halfway point a team secured an automatic qualifying place. The absolute earliest possible for this feat would be one game after halfway. The halfway stage itself doesn’t work because, if the results in the second half of qualifying are an exact mirror of the first half, but for changes in goal difference, the teams in first and last could finish in opposite positions.

Nobody has quite managed to achieve this. The closest we can get are Cycle 35 Bettia, who went 6-0-0 in Group 9 and held an eleven point lead over third with only four games to go.

World Cup 35 Qualifying Group 9 (after six games)
1 Bettia                6-0-0       18
2 Quakmybush            4-0-2       12
——————————————------------------------
3 Bostopia              2-1-3        7
4 United Island Empire  2-0-4        6
5 Daughrty              2-0-4        6
6 Sativaville           1-1-4        4

United Island Empires and Kenavt have both appeared in the above tables. You might remember them from such Aesthetic backissues as Throwing Plastic Into the Fire: The Teams that Sullied the BoF. Can we learn more about teams like this by turning the tables on the stats above? We’ve ascertained that Kamijiro is impressively dominant by counting how many matches they had to go when they clinched qualification, can we do the opposite for some of the weakest teams on record? When was the earliest a team was mathematically eliminated?

Again, the rule is that it must happen in the second half of the qualifiers.

World Cup 52 Group 2, MD 12/22  P    W   D   L   GF  GA    GD  Pts
 1 Krytenia                    12   12   0   0   27   8    19   36 
 2 Tyrrin                      12   11   0   1   32   7    25   33 
 3 Achtervolging               12    8   1   3   25  19     6   25 
 4 Qazox                       12    8   0   4   30  17    13   24 
 5 Great Lenin                 12    6   2   4   22  15     7   20 
 6 The Mice of Miceland        12    5   3   4   13  14    -1   18 
 7 TailsPrower                 12    4   2   6   17  15     2   14 
 8 Vekaiyu                     12    3   3   6   12  23   -11   12 
 9 Hockey Canada               12    3   2   7   20  27    -7   11 
10 Connar Republic             12    3   1   8   13  28   -15   10 
11 Millsa                      12    1   1  10    7  28   -21    4 
12 Alversia                    12    0   1  11    5  24   -19    1

Oh, hello again Alversia.

There are 164 teams who managed to be mathematically eliminated one game into the second half of the qualifiers. No team managed to be eliminated with more games to go than this. Admittedly, two other teams in the very same cycle managed the same feat. Sufidan in group five and Hanox in group twelve. On the other side of the coin, sixty teams have managed to be eliminated from qualifying after only six games, with the halfway point being game five.

---

Bulls on the Brink
Do you like stats journalism? Want to know how many times the Audioslavian media has re-used the headline ‘Bulls on the Brink’? No? Well then, instead, here’s a quick run-down on what’s been happening to Audioslavia recently

It was a four-game gauntlet against the toughest opponents Group 18 has to offer, and the Bulls survived.

Of the group’s BoF semi-finalists, Snestar may have been the loser of their fouth placed playoff but have looked the most likely to challenge champions Audioslavia and veterans Hapilopper to a playoff berth. Much tougher than the scoreline of their first Audioslavia match would suggest, Snestar were coming off a three-game unbeaten streak that had seen them defeat Hapilopper and New Montreal States. The Bulls struggled initially to find their footing at the Stadio Olimpico in Dandelicha, and at 1-1 the game might have run away from the Bulls, but Lúnquerque scored a sensational flying volley late in the first half to take the advantage into the break, and the Bulls would hold on for three much needed points.

Super Earth’s form has wobbled as of late, and the side lacked the confidence of their swashbuckling three-nothing win over the Bulls in the first half of qualifying. Audioslavia, finally figuring out how their opponents ticked, won out two to nothing.

Second seeds Hapilopper had just about been accounted for at the Beltzarga, so it was with trepidation that Audioslavians tuned into the match at Ellis Stadium. Behind late on, a Lúnquerque strike with five minutes to go salvaged an all important point: one that keeps Audioslavia’s destiny in their own hands.

With four games to go, Monterroso’s men knew they that four wins on the bounce would secure their passage to World Cup 100. They did not suspect, however, that lying in wait at the Paladindome was none other than Zombie Yokel Alan Belmore, about as welcome a blast from the past as a fart in a jar. Only a desperate transformation to a 10-0-0 formation could repel the brutal power of the zombified version of 2004’s greatest super-hero-cum-villain-turned-hero-turned-billion-headed-hydra. Only when his power started to wane did the Audioslavians manage to get a foothold in the game. The Bulls would finally win out by three goals to nil.

With three games to go, and all against opposition in the bottom half of the table, Audioslavia are odds on to qualify for the World Cup. Failure from here would be as big a disaster as any suffered in our long history.

[Super Earth Under Siege]

Seyshel Beach - Seyshel Beach Avengement Day Memorial Stadium

Very Totally Free had returned to sully the name of Freedom. The Senators were fully prepared to once again defeat the team that so opposed the values of true Managed Democracy- that all who opposed Super Earth were, by definition, unfree. Fuelled by their past failures, the team absolutely refused to falter to the nation they deemed an insult to their fundamental precepts. If Liberty, Justice, Prosperity and Family Values could be opposed by a "free" institution, Super Earth's very moral existence was in question. Fortunately, any doubts were put to rest with a flawless display of defensive solidarity from a more cautious and tempered Senators team. They'd received orders from on high to try new tactics, and the turtling happened to work out- Vigil and Ballast especially accredited.

Grand Exultia

Grand Exultia was a similar success story, but of a different and less absolute nature. This time, the team attempted to emphasise side attack to a ridiculous agree, creating an utterly lopsided lineup that bulldozed through their opponent's left and took no prisoners. Unfortunately, this left a predictable and exploitable weakness on the inverse side. Matron and Catspaw were the unusual champions of this match, though Deadman was the sole goal-scorer for Super Earth. A late-game attack left the Senators reeling and gave Grand Exultia a point to their name, but it wasn't enough.

...yet neither was it enough for Super Earth.

Staying afloat would not stop the tide from rising. Snestar was becoming the Baptism of Fire threat to watch, and barring some catastrophic disaster the frontrunners were set to eclipsed Super Earth's efforts no matter how valiantly they fought. And given their new directive to try untested tactics, the Senators were well aware of how all their effort might yet be for nothing in the end, save to inspire their inevitable replacements...

[Saperetia]

OOC: This is the correct RP after the re-scorinating of certain games in this group.

Saperetia Out
Saperetia 4-0 Germanic Cat

Last time we met with this team, it ended in the highest scoring game in our qualifiying campaign to date. It was also the game in which the Crimsonites scored the most goals: 2, 1 by Jaques, and 1 by Seppo, both being the wingers. Since those were their last goals, both of them are hoping to net another one in this game. The supporters are also asking for goals, as crimson has not scored a goal in 5 matches, with the last one being in the 1-0 win against The Osnari Federation. Whether Silivia's tactical changes would result in more goals and points was the question as the SAP 4-3-3 lined up against the GCT 4-2-1-2:

Saperetia: GK Hranislav (C) DEF O'Connel, Carloza, Damjan, Chryses MID Gil, Govind, Camilo ATK Jacques, Seppel, Seppo

Germanic Cat: GK Süter DEF Schawnberger, Assarah, Tiberius, Dietrich MID-DEF Krüger, Haase MID-ATK Kramer ATK Nowak, Engelhardt

As the match began with... 21 men on the field, as Germanic Cat seemed to field only 10 players, (OOC: The formation & starting squad they posted is 10 men) most expectations were blown away as for the first time, the Crimsonites were attacking at the start of a match. This led to a surprise, as Seppel netted the first goal from a header from a corner in just the 10th minute. Extatic fans in the national stadium were hoping that this was the start of a great match. As the game progressed, Silivia surprised many pundits by keeping up the pressure and not falling back to the defensive structure. Before the end of the first half, the Crimsonites had another chance as Chryses intercepted the ball quite high in midfield and sent a beautifull cross straight to Jacques for another header into the goal at the 40 minute mark. As the whistle blew to end half-time, the team went into the dressing room quite satisfied with their 2-0 lead, the biggest they have had for all of qualifying. Many fans were once again hoping, praying, for Silivia to not mess up the momentum of the team. And their prayers seemed to be answered as the Crimsonites flew out of the gates and managed to take the kickoff to a goal as Seppo slotted a third one past Süter in minute '47, increasing crimson lead for the first time to 3 goals. With this lead, Silivia, the team, and the supporters seemed to be satisfied and took the foot off the gas. Despite this, the team still had a couple of chances, and they managed to convert one in the 85th minute from a Gil free kick. And with the final whistle it was confirmed: a 4-0 victory.

Despite our win in this match, other results confirmed what many had expected to happen: Saperetia can no longer qualify for the World Cup and will be eliminated in the qualifiers. While this is sad, it was very much the predicted outcome of the team, as they went in as the lowest-rank team into the group. So far, our 7th place may not seem like a large achievement in this campaign, but we've a very rough start, as at the end of MD5 we were the 2nd worst team in all of the qualifying groups, and with only the pace being picked up in the final part of qualifiers. Our next match is against Bruinswik, meaning a win would put us in a good position for 6th, potentially even 5th. Silivia declined to attend press conferences or to give comment.

5th 0-0 draw draws defence questions
Bruinswik 0-0 Saperetia

Despite both team being eliminated, this match was most likely the most important one remaining for both teams. If either could get a victory here, it would mean they had a very good chance to end in at least 6th, potentially even 5th place. For Bruinswik, this would mean they equaled and even slightly outperformed the expected result. For Saperetia, this would mean they would be 3 or even 4 spots higher than what was expected of them. Despite Silivia telling the media that a rest for some of the players would be a good idea, they kept on pestering him to put out the best players. Not wanting to come into hot water, Silivia relented, at least being content with the fact that he now had an excuse for whatever happened. The game for 6/5th was about to begin, as the SAP 4-3-3 lined up against the BRU 4-4-2:

Saperetia: GK Hranislav (C) DEF Abdelkader, Carloza, Damjan, Anatoliy MID Gil, Inget, Camilo ATK Jacques, Seppel, Seppo

Bruinswik: GK ? DEF ?, ?, ?, ? MID ?, ?, ?, ? ATK ?, ?

The game began as both teams seemed to not be at their best. The Crimsonites were not doing their usual runs, while Bruinswik kept on making silly mistakes. The only players that seemed to be on their A-game were the goalies, who saved a few shots each. Not much could be asked from them, considering the attacks were not shooting at the goal. Each ball seemed to go higher and higher, in a sort of competition for who would be the first person to kick a ball out of the stadium. Not even the half-time team talks talked sense into the team, as the blunderfest continued right up until the final whistle.

In the post-match conference, Silivia deflected blame from himself for a draw, instead claiming that the media's pressure caused this to occur, as they had asked for the best players, despite Silivia telling them they needed a rest. This seemed to have the desired effect, as some journalists began arguing against other journalists, while the press conference was still going on. While those were fighting, other journalists asked questions regarding the fact that this was the 5th 0-0 draw this tournament. Some argued that the games were too boring, other claimed that these weren't the desired results. Silivia asked them "What would you rather have: The 1-4 and 0-4 pummelings we got against Warkus and HUElavia in MD1 and 2 or the 0-0 draws against them in MD10 and 11? Our goal is to get points to qualify, and against better teams, we need every point damn it!" Whatever the cause for the draw was, Silivia knew he had to try and get that 6th place anyway now, even with the 1 match advantage both Bruinswik and Germanic Cat still had, especially with the Knights of LUSITANIA right behind them.

[Busoga Islands]

Kabaka - King
Omukama - Regent
Omugabe/Omugaba - Prince/Princess
Katikkiro - Prime MInister
Lukiiko - Parliament
Waziri- Foreign Minister
PPM- People's Protection Movement. Center-right party, currently the largest party in the Lukiiko, and the dominant party of the governing coalition.
LDA- Latter-Day Alliance. Right-wing party, religious & nationalist right, currently the junior partner in the governing coalition.
CRU- Collective Resistance Union. Center-left party, forms the official opposition.
BPC- Banijan People's Congress. Hard-left party, smallest of the 4 parties in the Lukiiko

OOC Note to hosts and other readers: The following is a Map of Banija, Abahamba, and the Busoga Islands. Most of the credit goes to Tumbra. All three are ICly firmly independent countries, with historic ties to Banija- OOCly, all three of them are ran by the same user. Abahamba will be a large focus of this tournament for me, but as they are not in this tournament(for IC reasons that'll come out in due time), the RPing will be done mostly via Busoga and Banija. Abahamban perspectives will come from both nations.

Part 1: Intro to Abahamba
Part 2: A new Ambassador
Part 3: Robel takes a phone call
Part 4: Rumors Hit the Internet
Part 5: A Reçecian wonders (written by Recuecn)
Part 6: Thuku goes public
Banija, Part 7: Ezera's Denial
Reçueçn, Part 8: Thorvex takes charge
Part 9: The Brothers Lawyer Up
Part 10: The WCC hears the charges
Part 11: A fair takes over the town
Part 12: Robel understands his fate
Part 13: Outbreak in the Palace
Part 14: Thorvex gets sick
Part 15: Robel Resigns, while Assefa wonders...

Crown Prince Thuku, sitting in his own bedroom at the Palace

The visit from Reçueçn was someting that hard started out with high potential- but had quickly turned into an absolute disaster. The Royal Family's ability to hide the rapidly spreading ebola epidemic within the Palace was diminishing dramatically- and the fact that Reçueçn basically showed up to medevac their people out was highly embarassing. Fortunately, they had enough discretion to not make it public- but the Crown Prince knew that something like this couldn't hide forever.

While it was undoubtedbly a bad look, he felt as if the partnership with Reçueçn would survive. He had gotten along well with Ottilie Thorves and Jean-Luc Lassalle, and he had hoped to bring them back to his capitol city soon. But what the Crown Prince really had to do, was focus on the crisis developing in front of him- or, more accurately, all around him. All three people in the line of succession to the throne, including the King, were in a zone where they could absolutely catch ebola. A foreign dignitary had gotten it.

But his cousin, Prince Iwe, had it the worst out of anybody. His cousin hadn't spoken to anybody in 2 full days, and that had gotten the Crown Prince pacing. The nerves, naturally, were incredibly high. And for those in the know about what was going on at the Palace, they were (quite obviously) avoiding the Palace like it had the plague- and frankly, some people might rather have the plague than this ebola virus.

What was even more concerning, however, was his father's condition. It was almost terrifying, to see your parent like that- even if parent/child dynamics in a royal family were much different than normal. He had never seen his Father so weak, than whne he did on the Reçueçn diplomatic visit. Coughing everywhere, ashen, shaken, etc... It was enough to make the Crown Prince shed a tear. Would he lose his Father in this fashion? To this kind of disease? An impossible feeling- but his Father was fighting. He was working every day- refusing to lay down, refusing to take a day off. The country would not run itself, now would it.

But, now was his time to stroll down towards the hospital wing, and give a call to Prince Iwe. As he got down there, he went directly to Dr. Ozzie. "How's my cousin, Doctor?"

"Unfortunately, your Highness, I was just coming to find you. As of an hour ago- he passed away." The Doctor said, coughing himself. It was a huge loss for the Crown Prince- and more importantly, a big loss for the country. Just two people in the line of succession to the throne- and now, the Crown Prince was the only Abahamban who was a successor to the King. Before, of course, that Banijan boy King.

"He... What?" The Crown Prince was shaken, visibly. Then, he got caught in a violent coughing bout himself- something that was even scarier for him. The Crown Prince had, somehow, been the healthiest person at the Palace. Avoided some of the major symptoms- but the past day had hit him. He had a pretty big headache when he woke up that morning, and that had not gone away. But still- all things considering with the people around him, he was doing quite well.

"Is Father strong enough to travel?" He asked the Doctor.

"Well..." The Doctor's voice faded away, before coming back into sharp focus. "Traveling might be a rough time for him right now- but your Dad is a fighter. If we can get him medevac'd, maybe that would help. But you know your Father- he's never going to travel."

"You're not wrong." The Crown Prince sighed. His Father had prioritized, maybe to his detriment, above all, keeping all knowledge of these events in the minds of as few people as humanly possible. "The country needs help- and he needs help, specifically. We have got to find a way...."

---

President Kavak, of the Busoga Islands, sitting in his residence

President Kavak was sitting in his house, looking at a map that he had gotten himself of Lakiska. He was a map nerd- loved studying city maps. Looking at neighborhoods, creeks, etc... the smallest details. Not that he'd have a ton of time to do that when he was literally the head of state and head of government- but he found a way to do it anyways.

It was just then, when the President looked at his phone. An interesting message from the Busogan Ambassador to Abahamba. He was reporting a lot of strange activity going on at the Palace. The Reçueçn diplomatic visit had gone well, so he was wondering what was going on. He got a call from the Ambassador- and that changed everything.

"Mr. President." The Ambassador began. "Thank you so much for answering my call. At the Palace, there's absolute panic. Something- I'm not sure what- is going through there. I've talked to a few people, although I haven't been able to reach the King or the Crown Prince- some sort of bug, or epidemic, hitting the highest people in the country at the wrongest of times."

"How's the King?"

"I mean, he's the King, right?" The Ambassador said. "Nobody's talking. They fear him- and rightfully so. But he's the freaking King- he's got to have an army of doctors, every last doctor in his country at his bidding. But while it doesn't seem to be spreading throughout the city, the fact that the Palace has seemed to be largely closed off is... Troublesome."

"What do we do?"

"We wait- and we watch. I'll remind them that if they need help with anything, we are here. But the King is a proud man- so we shall see what he asks for, and when." The President asked to be kept in the loop at all times. A situation kind of frozen in Abahamba- not a single press release crowing about Robel Ezera's resignation even! Something must be very, very wrong...