World Cup 100 | RP thread

[Eshialand]

The Story of Lisa
Britonisea 3-8 Eshialand*
Eshialand 6-1 Nergtul
*National record for most total goals in a match, and joint record for most Owls goals in a match.

For the better part of a century, there has been one goddess of football in the multiverse. Her name, revered by all, is Margaret, and her greatest joy comes from taking the dreams of those teams who thought they had it all, and taking them out behind the barn and shooting them. Her MO? Those little 1-0 losses to Whothehellisthatistan that send you straight to the Cup of Harmony on contact. While a lot of bizarre results can be explained by the work of Margaret, this World Cup, the centennial of the competition, called into question whether she was the only deity at work in the football world.

Eshialand City University's Department of Margaret Studies, while not as prestigious as their counterparts in Zube, the Kytler Peninsulae, were working tirelessly to figure out who... or what... exactly was behind all of this.

The first step, of course, was to find results that couldn't only be explained by Margaret. Margaret was funny... while she loved crushing dreams, chalk matches with margins of victory up to 5 or maybe 6 were never out of the question. 7 was weird, but as the Owls learned in AOCAF 60, they were definitely possible, even twice in the same competition. However, 9? That had already happened thrice in this competition alone.

Aleirave 9-0 South Kerala
Kimi-Suomi 11-2 Sel Appa
Saint Eleanor 10-1 Norway-Sweden-Finland

Not only that, there were two scorigamis already, the second being that Kimi-Suomi vs. Sel Appa score, and the other being Carpathia and Ruthenia 9-5 Oscioru. Two scorigamis in the same qualifying, scores that Margaret herself had never cooked up in a century of calling the shots... double digits were also scratched again, with a score of Oberour Ar Moro 10–2 Lassiah. There was simply no way Margaret was alone anymore. She was used to making scores that didn't make sense, but these? The multiverse has never seen such madness before.

What finally made the Department of Margaret Studies look into this situation were Eshialand's most recent results. While Eshialand was good at getting decent wins, these were just... what? Back-to-back wins by 5. Yes they were struggling teams, but Eshialand never did this well this consistently... and not only that, but they weren't 5-0. 5-0 wouldn't be weird. These were 6-1 and 8-3. As seemed to happen across the board in this qualifiers, losing teams were still getting a lot of goals... they were just getting blown away by teams getting an obscene amount of goals. It was finally time for the Department of Margaret Studies to take a good look at things.

The DoMS was one of those wishy-washy departments that did... something, even if nobody outside the department itself was sure exactly what. Definitely one of the departments Jacob Hallie would be cutting if he was given any chance to. Unfortunately, they also didn't use enough university resources for it to make any sense to cut them. Their entire job was just thinking about sports results and trying to make sense of them within the theological bounds of the Church of Margaret's beliefs. Wholly unfit for university study? Mayhaps, but it did attract some amazing — albeit eccentric — figures. Definitely a very Josh Seametzle-pilled department if there ever was one.

The exact nature of whatever was helping Margaret here was unknown. However, the DoMS's best preliminary guess was that she was no longer alone, and now was met by another, even more powerful deity. This deity was thought to be her sister, dubbed Lisa. While Margaret loved ruining teams' dreams by making the most bizarre upsets, Lisa had another thing in mind: she absolutely loved goals, and was willing to do anything in her power to make goals happen. In order to illustrate this properly, let's look at a team that's usually the antithesis of the whole idea of goals: Ko-oren's Dragonflies, multiversally famous for their post-football tactics and refusal to let scores go over 1-0.

Above is a graph showing Ko-oren's goals scored per match in the last 20 qualifying cycles, compared to how they were doing in the first 7 matches of WCQ100. As you can see, their usual output sat just around 1.5 goals per game, sometimes dipping to about 1.3, sometimes sitting at 1.7. There were, of course, anomalies, with WCQ82 finding itself in the sub-1 range (before you ask, no, 17 goals in 18 matches was absolutely not enough to qualify, as they finished in 3rd place at 9-4-5... although only behind qualifiers Damukuni on the Goal Difference tiebreaker), and Eshialand's debut cycle of WCQ88 seeing them possessed to score over 2.3... but those were most certainly exceptions, not the rule. With Lisa at the helm, however, even Ko-oren could be goal-scoring machines, with the Dragonflies and their famous highly defensive post-football producing an average of almost 4.3 goals per match! They were still defensively-minded, mind, only conceding 6 goals in 7 games, with 4 of those coming in the match against Oscioru alone, but getting anywhere close to this goals for total was absolutely unthinkable for a team like this.

If Ko-oren's goals per game statistic could triple with the power of this new deity, putting them all the way up beyond Farfadillis territory, it's not hard to imagine how teams like Aleirave and Kimi-Suomi could start winning matches by 9 goals as if it were nothing. This was not a normal World Cup, the normal forces weren't at play anymore. This is Lisa's world now, and we're just playing in it.

[The North Polish Union]

Uwe Bärwald is arguably the most famous fashion designer from the Union and the designer of sports uniforms for both the national football team and the Olympic squads. He joined our interviewer for a conversation about his life amid the centenary World Cup as his nation wears his uniforms. He talks about his life, passion, and sporting opinions throughout this interview, which will be released as a series.

Part 1
Part 2

INT: You gained a name for yourself and your new business through innovative cooperations with figures in media and the arts, and through changing how designers interacted with other parts of the fashion industry. Could you tell us first about your involvement in the arts first, and then your innovations in the industry?

UB: When we started the company, it was apparent from the democratic nature of our designs that simple advertising would not do the trick do grow our reputation. The decision was made to invest in the arts, to engage in cultural initiatives beyond fashion. This began with cinema. What better way to increase the number of people that have seen your product than by dressing the actors they watch? By now, I would say that I have designed costumes for perhaps more than 100 films. In addition to the promotional benefits, this also provides me creative stimulus. To be faced with the challenge of “How is this character to be dressed and how can we accent the necessary parts through costume design?” is among the most interesting. Of course, I had experience in the theater from my time before fashion which helped me to make connections and start out with an understanding of how to operate.

INT: And how did you change the way designers interacted with the rest of the fashion supply chain?

UB: When we started, I insisted that we work with textile suppliers. This was not to be a boutique workshop where we could sew each piece by hand, the vision was for a commercial product. I insisted that we sign agreements with manufacturers, so that we would produce high-quality garments that were ready to wear in a manufacturing environment, but this could only be done under the supervision of an employee of our company to ensure the best quality. It took time to negotiate these agreements, but eventually we were able to and now this is a standard for us.

INT: You also had success in diversifying out of business wear, not an easy task to say the least. Could you tell us how?

UB: Already, just a few years after we started, we signed a deal with a perfumery to create perfumes and cosmetics to complement our business line, but that was not strictly a diversification on our part. In some ways, this was driven by our film cooperation. Yes, we made business suits for both actors and actresses in films that required them, but not all films have such a setting. You win a contract to provide costumes for a film, eventually they will want T-shirts, jeans, and so on. We began to make these for films, but then all the designs just sat there. Of course this is a waste of resources. So then we began to think about changing the designs slightly, making sure that the demands of the end user are met. This resulted in the release of a more casual line, which increased sales for young people. We held ourselves to the same level of stylistic quality as the high-end line, but the price was more accessible.

INT: You have also continued to innovate as your firm has grown to massive heights, what is your process for that like?

UB: As I have matured as a designer, I have also begun to draw influences from other cultures in inspiring my own new designs. Not only does this keep my own designs fresh, it has enabled me to expand my fashion business beyond only the Union. For perhaps the first 20 years of our existence we were primarily a domestic enterprise, but now we have customers from far overseas. I have also contracted with other firms to cooperate on other elements, as I did with perfume at the start of my career, now we cooperate with eyeglass makers, furniture designers, other accessories, and so on. To pair garments tastefully with the other aspects of one’s life is extremely important.

INT: How is it that for as large of an enterprise yours has become, you still retain such control over the business decisions?

UB: This is a private enterprise, not one which is beholden to the wishes of stockholders or an executive board. While my co-founder Gerald Schöffer was still alive we made all business decisions in coordination with one another. Now the decisions of the company fall only on myself. There are investors, yes, but they do not have a controlling interest. As capital has increased, it has also enabled me to increase the amount of that capital invested in improving the brand. For example, the acquisition of our own manufacturing capacity has been a benefit in that we now rely less on contracted manufacturers, giving more control over quality.

[Kamijiro]

World Cup 100: From Kamijiro, With Love.

It's been a while since Katsu Fujiwara and Sōji Kokubun ripped the wheels off of Markos Moustakakos' beloved 1980s Italian sportscar. Those wheels had made the trip home to Kamijiro and sat for a while in Sōji's garage - until now. One wheel was shipped back to Vdara along with a message.

"From Kamijiro, with love."

Perhaps it was to prevent complacency. Maybe it was because the team is flat-out bored as they tromp their way to a third-straight qualification for the World Cup proper. Or maybe it's because Sōji is just a complete shithouse. Either way, one wheel was boxed, wrapped like a damn birthday present, and shipped to Vdara via direct express.

---

The match against The Holy Empire was another win for Kamijiro to make it eight straight in the qualifiers. This one was the nerviest yet. A 3-2 win late on saved the winning streak as Katsu Fujiwara lashed a goal past Louis Binfordo's outstretched arms in the 85th to put Kamijiro back in the driver's seat for the match.

Previous goals were scored by Sōji Kokubun in the 26th and 31st, respectively - those two goals had brought the Lightning back from the 1-0 deficit brought on by a Augustus Pitt Riverso header off of a corner in the 23rd minute. The Holy Empire later equalized via the foot of Arturo Evanses, who beat Ichi Asumi for sheer power off of a lovely move and assist from Maximiliano Mallowanes.

The assists for Kamijiro were provided by Keigo Nakaji, Haruka Kagawa and Kento Kanazono, respectively.

Sinyal folded to Kamijiro's counter-attacking play, as well. Keigo Nakaji scored his seventh goal of the qualifiers off of a Azuma Kogushi assist in the 12th minute set up the Lightning for a dominant performance which continued on with a headed goal by Sōji Kokubun which had been previously nodded on by Akinari Akaminai in the 40th minute to make it 2-0. Half-time came and went with a pleased Raiji not killing his whole team for once - they hadn't conceded a single shot on target in the first half and had rarely misplaced a pass. The second half went on and Tōshi Kameda scored a worldie after opening up his body and curling it past the keeper to make it 3-0 after 58 minutes. The fourth and final goal of the match came from Keigo Nakaji again - his eighth of the qualifiers - once again assisted by Azuma Kogushi, who played the ball up the line. Nakaji dribbled through a defender and then shot a curler into the top left corner of the net. This win (and because the way that the bye week system works) placed Kamijiro as the first team to win eight games in this qualifying campaign.

At the halfway mark of the qualifying campaign, the stats stack up for the players (and team) are as follows:

Goals:
Keigo Nakaji      8
Sōji Kokubun      7
Nicácio Xavier    3
Katsu Fujiwara    2
Tōshi Kameda      2
Darren Williams   2
Haruka Kagawa     1
Azuma Kogushi     1
Tatsuya Nakamura  1
Vivienne Silva    1
TOTAL:           28

Assists:
Keigo Nakaji      4
Katsu Fujiwara    3
Haruka Kagawa     3
Azuma Kogushi     2
Vivienne Silva    2
Nicácio Xavier    2
Akinari Akaminai  1
Tōshi Kameda      1
Kento Kanazono    1
Kyōji Kirishima   1
Sōji Kokubun      1
Ryō Murai         1
TOTAL:           22

Schedule:
Matchday   Opponent
MD1        Sinyal            (H) W, 3-2
MD2        Al-Tamazgha       (A) W, 1-0
MD3        Equestria         (H) W, 5-0
MD4        Equinox Auraterra (A) W, 6-2
MD5        Bull Sheet        (H) W, 2-0
MD6        Dixie Florida     (A) W, 4-1
MD7        The Holy Empire   (H) W, 3-2
MD8        Sibersky          (A) W, 4-0
MD9        BYE
MD10       Sinyal            (A)
MD11       Al-Tamazgha       (H)
MD12       Equestria         (A)
MD13       Equinox Auraterra (H)
MD14       Bull Sheet        (A)
MD15       Dixie Florida     (H)
MD16       The Holy Empire   (A)
MD17       Sibersky          (H)
MD18       BYE
Playoff    IF NEEDED

[Airannia]

Pichvi 2 - 3 Airannia
Pichvian Unity Ground, Tsedar, Pichvi - December 2, 1984

11': Tiwrar Kyyrtalbarx 1-0
13': Pilleç Tournay 1-1
30': Pilleç Tournay 1-2
45': Riad P'turerno <> Vrunkal Kaastinkux (PCV)
52': -- Karapet Jajabarx (PCV)
60': Alexander Régervothys 1-3
61': Alexander Régervothys^injured <> Tatzan Eneksi éys (AER)
66': Areag Zjysofarx 2-3
69': Ruben Tsofanan <> Galis Ernoviax (PCV)
75': Armande Hotsimya <> Kolav Héls (AER)
75': Usi Sarván-Dendh <> Noitaryng Milantriç (AER)
85': Karapet Jajabarx <> Stejigin Norhyy (PCV)

(names and location taken from Pichvi's BoF roster entry)

Step 2: Securing, Reviewing, Quorum

AH: "You know why we're here, Gérand?"

GB: "Not a clue."

AH: "That's okay. You don't have to understand the reason quite yet. Please, come with us."

GB: "I don't understand. You're with the NAGA?"

AH: "Yes."

GB: "What does the NAGA want from me? Is there something wrong with my membership? I got it fixed that last time!"

CT: "No, Gérand, there's nothing wrong with your membership this time. On the contrary — there's something wrong... with time."

GB: "What? Did you just try to chloroform me? I don-"

---

Intake Report #07 - August 18, 1984
---
Name: Gérand Hentriq Homber BRASSÁ
Age: 26
Address: Lémann Mantercha-chary 31, Selfédh
Occupation: Factory worker
Height: 1.82m
Weight: 82kg
Sports: Plays at local 3rd division amateur football club as striker.
---
Speed: Reasonable.
Agility: High. Seems proficient at tackles.
Jump: Ordinary
Endurance: High.
Strength: Extraordinary.
---
Presumed Identity: Central Defense player. 55 matches played on national team (2150 minutes). 
Baptism of Fire?: Yes, not on starting 11 however. According to records, played 2 games from start, and subbed in on 3 occassions.
First Training Observations: Seems to be a match. One of few players which are active with NAGA, allocation was simple. Is picking up quickly. High affinity with K. G.
Brassá has shown to be highly conscious about tactics and strategy, although self-reporting having received little to no coaching in this regard. Melds into the group quickly, despite high amounts of initial confusion.

---

CT: "Arriq."

AH: "Yes, Mr. Létiman?"

CT: "Very well done on the latest acquisition. We will have to move swiftly on - we're currently on seven - but we'll need at least fourteen if this plan is to succeed. There is yet little time if all the preparations are to proceed as planned.

[some awkward silence follows]

CT: "I have a lead on a man named... Kezhinár."

AH: "Understood sir. Will it be an easy extraction as this one?"

CT: "Not quite."

[Valanora]

Hawk was sitting at a small cafe on the outskirts of Raynor City proper, not quite out on the suburbs yet but definitely quite a bit away from the inner city and all the commotion that happened there. This cafe had a nice little section of outdoor seating, you could just about see the banks of the river Arewl out along the horizon if you looked due north, though the skyline was dotted with the sprawl of Soldar if you looked more eastwardly. Hawk wondered why the city actually was not closer to the banks of the river, though his own home town in Hondo was located a bit away from the banks of the river Ariela, though there were a few streams and smaller tributary rivers that flowed nearby into one of the five major rivers that dominated the continent. Was it still fine to call the continent Arrosia though, now that the region that they inhabited was named that, would there be too much confusion even though the region had taken the name from the continent which the Empire was located on? Those sort of questions were above his paygrade to try and decipher and figure out.

He was enjoying a rare bit of holiday, he had a few days away from his duties at Myana and international duty was still two weeks away. This was time for himself, time where he got to simply take in the world and try to relax from all the things that were constantly demanding his attention, time to enjoy everything that made the world good and right. He was desiring these sort of time periods more and more as of late, less time spent on the pursuit of perfection and success that he knew would ever elude him but felt obligated to pursue nonetheless. Perhaps he was starting to near the time where the game would not be the most important thing in his world and he would look to other ventures, maybe still in the sport but not in a player role. That was still many years away he felt, yet his good friends Allendren Fresco, Faeron Soldarian, and Espy va Drake all spoke about how gradually over time they started looking for something else to make more of their life feel complete, to have made the time they had spent playing the game have lead to something besides money and fame.

Hawk wondered if he could perhaps pursue a family when that time did come, all of his family had decided to leave during the last Calling, leaving him alone with a modest estate in Hondo. It was not like the estates of the rest of his teammates during their time as the best team in the universe, it was clearly a home of a working class family who had done reasonably well for themselves. Three bedrooms, a half bedroom which as a child had been a game room where Hawk and his father had played various board games and air hockey. His father never discouraged him from pursuing his passion as a street footballer as long as he tended to his duties at the fish market that he co-owned as part of a cooperative. They serviced the city and the surrounding towns and villages, he remembered getting up before dawn on the weekdays to go down and do his job, as long as he did it then Hawk was allowed to play street football on the weekends. In another life, perhaps the manager of Hondo FC never would have seen him playing in the streets and given him a try out, he would have simply remained a fishmonger working alongside his father until he eventually took over his position in the cooperative.

Hawk gently placed his now empty cup down on the pristine white sauce with its golden fringes, bemused at the thought of having never actually been discovered. Would the Owls have made it to the Premiership and become one of the better teams in the Empire had he never gotten the opportunity? How differently would the national team fortunes had changed if he had simply been in the stands for all these years rather than on the field helping trying to earn those results and win trophies for the team? It was an amusing thought experiment, probably one that the foes and rivals of the national teams would dream of as well considering how great his reputation within the game had grown over the many years of him playing for the Marauders. His place though was on the pitch, was out there demonstrating his ability, and being a leader to try and help the team finally come to winning the sixth World Cup title. Perhaps once that record had been done, if ever was to be so, it would be a sign from Elune herself that it was time to hang up the boots and pursue other ventures. Until then, that reckless drive for perfection carried on until he no longer had the energy or will to carry on, these days be but moments of rest and rejuvenation between the chase of his goals.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

THE IMPERIAL JOURNAL OF ARCHAEOLOGY

A Preliminary Study of the Impact of Non-Standard Ordinary Reality Linear Time on World Cup Archaeology

By Alejandro Brookses, Augustus Pitt Riverso, and Flindero Petries



ABSTRACT

In any study of World Cup Archaeology, one of the more curious aspects of Ordinary Reality linear time is that different OR nations calculate the passage of time according to different calendrical metrics. Where some nations experience four years between World Cups, other nations experience only one or two years between tournaments. In some rare cases, nations experience the World Cup in something called 'real time'. Several peculiarities arise from this phenomenon, the most notable of which is that where some nations hold that 400 standard OR years have passed between World Cup 1 and World Cup 100, other nations hold that only 100 to 200 years have passed; in the extreme cases of the handful of 'real time' nations, only 22 standard OR years are held to have passed, with the time between tournaments gradually slowing down, but with two to three tournaments still taking place every OR year. In this paper we review certain impacts of this varying approach to time on the analysis of Ordinary Reality material culture, with a particular perspective on the optically stimulated luminescence (OSL) dating of three pots showing the first three World Cup Winners (Crosshill, Al Quds, and Giant Zucchini) holding aloft the trophy in the host nations of Ariddia, the Holy Empire, and Total n Utter Insanity.


<excerpts from the text>

...the Crosshill pot shows some particularly fine use of sgraffito to outline the winners of the first tournament holding aloft the trophy, in contrast to the badly damaged Al Quds pot, which - despite being only half-complete, allows us to see that the red glaze - almost certainly symbolising the politics of the tournament winners - likely remained wholly intact. The Giant Zucchini pot, in contrast, contains no decoration or glaze, only a single word written (and transliterated) into several different alphabets, over and over and over again, reading УРК, أورك, 烏爾克, यूआरके, URK, and similar...

...the real issue arises when attempting to use absolute dating methods such as optically stimulated luminescence (OSL) dating of these three pots in different Ordinary Reality nations that experience different time gaps between World Cups. We will not use real nation names in this study in order to avoid inadvertently suggesting a value judgement on OR nations and their individual experiences of time. Instead we will refer to Nation X (four standard OR years between World Cups), Nation Y (one standard OR year between World Cups) and Nation Z (World Cups experienced in the concept known as 'real time')...

...we can therefore see that the Giant Zucchini pot, for example, is shown by OSL dating to be 400 years old in Nation X, 100 years old in Nation Y, and only 22 years old in Nation Z (the latter, incidentally, showing a precision of dating not usually associated with the use of scientific dating methods used for absolute dating of OR artefacts). This raises some interesting practical and philosophical points over the use of dating in the growing subdiscipline of World Cup archaeology. See, for example, 'The Scroll of Time; Dating the World Cup 10 Svecian Scroll' by Binfordo & Cartero for a summary of some of the practical points that were already known from the typological classifications of certain OR artefacts, including...

...In this section, we will focus more on some of the philosophical issues arising. It increasingly seems that World Cup dating offers some points of comparison to the OR scientific concept known as the known as the 'indeterminacy principle'. While widely debunked as a useful concept in Dreamed Realm oneirology, it offers some useful conceptual mechanisms for grasping the concept of time within the specific narrow framework of OR linear time. More specifically, there is a limit to the precision with which certain pairs of physical properties, such as time and physical location, can be simultaneously known. In other words, the World Cup archaeologist can date a pot from the first three World Cups with precision using absolute dating techniques such as optically stimulated luminescence, but that precision declines the more physical locations are included in the study since different OR nations determine the passage of time between tournaments according to different temporal metrics...


CONCLUSION

Nicephorus Lascaruso at the Imperial Institute of Mundy Studies has objected that we have misrepresented or perhaps fail to fully understand the OR the 'indeterminacy principle' in that the smaller the number of data sets, the less accurate a measurement is supposed to be, whereas we are positing the opposite. We hereby offer the possibility that Dr Lascaruso is a great big poopy pants who smells funny, and doesn't really appreciate World Cup history besides. Our study is inherently superior to any study that he might be able to offer for the simple reason that it's our study and we say so. The fact that, due to an error on the part of the editors of this journal that they failed to pick up at any part of the publication process, we ended up peer reviewing our own submission to The Imperial Journal of Archaeology is neither here nor there. We stand by our conclusions, including - and particularly - the conclusion that Dr Lascaruso is a great big poopy pants who smells funny.

[Shell Shock Troop Clan]

La Prensa Libre

As I've travelled overseas to watch the World Cup qualifiers, it's been fun to meet fans from around the world, many of whom know Shell Shock Troop Clan only by reputation. One of the questions I've gotten a couple of times is: "was Sosimo Lissón the right choice to name the metric after?"

The "Idiot Project" selected Lissón for its namesake metric in part because of his distinctive surname, which fit in well with several alliterative L-words. Aguazul are firm believers in the Cabañas Effect, which means a player with an accent mark in his name is inherently cooler than teammates like "Eusebio Nadol," "Blas Pulido," or "Claudio Albornos" (all of whom were also in the starting lineup for World Cups 57, 58, and 59). Unlike those names, however, it's difficult to do searches for where he's been namedropped by international media, unless they were on a first-name basis. Swings and roundabouts.

(The Audioslavians also said, "Definitive records of his goal scoring prowess are a little hard to come by...Nowhere near Val Kylx or Alan Belmore territory, sure, but on the plus side he’s nowhere near Val Kylx or Alan Belmore territory." Thanks, we're flattered. According to our meticulous records, which we keep for some reason, we're pretty confident Lissón scored 40 goals in his international career, 24 of which were in the WC57-59 era.)

Lissón made his first international appearance in the World Cup 53 qualifiers, debuting against Robsonien at Parque Parrar, where his home club, CA Condadore, played. His first goal would come in dramatic style. Aguazul were first seeds in Group 13; Mytannion, fresh from the Baptism of Fire, were seventh. Yet, for most of the day on Matchday Eight, it would be the unheralded visitors who held the lead. Lissón came on in the eighty-fourth minute, and ten minutes later, in a prolonged injury time, equalized. Indeed, football scoring is not zero-sum. Not only in the sense that both teams came away with one point, rather than one team having three and the other zero. But the Mytannion Gazette could truthfully describe it as "Wonderful, truly - a Day for our nation to rejoice!" while Lissón could be justly proud of his achievement, even if no one knew quite how much more he had left to accomplish. In this sense, his name truly is fitting for the statistic as calculated by the Audioslavian journalists. It's not about securing grandiose wins, but steadfastly, grittily, refusing to lose.

Even in that first cycle, he was making a name for himself off the field by knowing just the right words to bring the best out of his teammates. By World Cup 56, he had transferred to Cafundéu and been named a full-time starter.

Like their Zwangzugian counterparts, Aguazuleños can be prone to stereotypes about positions--forwards, being naturally inclined to focus on selfish statistics, are less likely to be chosen as captain. But Lissón's wisdom belied that; for World Cup 58, he was officially given the armband. The proper, in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, began inauspiciously; in an attempt to gain intercultural understanding, Lissón attended a musical performance by the iconic ASMV coach, Mace Kinoz’gh. Mr. Kinoz’gh had a penchant for dressing in clothing that was considered stereotypically effeminate, and on this occasion, a minimum of undergarments while engaging in anatomically-challenging pleasure of his own chest. While we at La Prensa Libre wish to disavow any puritanical pronouncements of our predecessors and strongly affirm each nation's right to freedom of expression, it may be said that witnessing such a display was not conducive for the captain's health on the eve of a World Cup. Francisco Cerezo wore the armband for the opening match, in which Aguazul defeated Saugeais. Happily, Lissón recovered in time to lead the team the rest of the way.

World Cup 59 ended with two famous "refusing to lose" matches. The semifinal against Kagdazka and Pazhujebu, in which Aguazul trailed 2-0 entering stoppage time. First Merlín Salomón, and then Lissón himself, scored to equalize and force a decisive shootout. Then, the final against the Babbage Islands, in which Lissón was narrowly--but correctly--ruled offsides in the first half. If that goal had gone through, there would have been no shootout--and no catastrophic hostilities between the beleaguered General Chelo Terrazas and WCC President Lucas Prado. For once, Lissón's utter dominance, to the point that his success was taken for granted, caused more problems for Aguazul than it solved.

Or did it? A win is a win, after all. And whenever someone asks me "what would Sosimo Lissón think, that we're still talking about him in World Cup 100," I think back to the World Cup 58 quarterfinals. Eusebio Nadol acquired a lefty guitar from one of those mysterious shops that had been there for ages but wasn't there yesterday (we're blaming Juan Tzimisces, as one does), and the peerless captain told us: This is not that song, this is not that song. This is the one you forgot that you knew all along. Through all the tragedies and tumults and disasters that befall the world of football, I don't think anyone would be less surprised that we're all still here in cycle 100--and still counting ridiculous statistics--as Sosimo Lissón.

MD4: Brenes 30, Rincones 76
MD6: Montealegre 11 and 40, Narváez 82; Ickx 26, Torres 45+2
MD7: Olaf 30, Cuadras 64

[Hanalia]

Last night saw the final home game of the football World Cup 100 qualifying campaign at the National Stadium for the first half of games. Rafael Griffen's side coming out on top of the 2-0 score line against Olastor. A side who have already played all eight matches in the opening half of the campaign with their bye coming up next. Olastor's only registered win came against Hanalia's next opponents, Chemicala, in match day 1, who have also only claimed a single win thus far.

That next match signals the half way point in these qualifiers for Hanalia with the same opponents to be faced in the second half but with an alternative host. On paper the second round of matches is a slightly less daunting sight to Hanalian eye. The two teams currently ahead of Hanalia, HOT-DAMN and Zwangzug, occupying the qualification and playoff spots respectively, both have to travel to Lei for the return leg. Playing with home advantage can count for a lot with the Hanalian team, they have yet to lose with three wins and a draw from the four matches hosted. Additionally only one goal has been conceded in those matches against a total of nine scored.

While on the topic of goals, this tournament has produced some unusual games to say the least. Naturally the profuse number of nations entered into the landmark edition has had an impact along with the fact that well renowned nations of the sporting multiverse are competing against some teams that have never before been heard of and may well never be heard from again. Taking one example that immediately grabs the attention is that of Ko-oren. Their defensive play is well known and a single goal is often enough for them to take victory including against Hanalia in the recent CAFA Cup. Not this tournament however, in their own seven matches, and in taking top spot of group five, they have scored 30, yes thirty, three-zero, goals. Admittedly their defense has still been stellar letting only six go by them but a remarkable statistic nonetheless.

Returning to the matches upcoming for Hanalia, they will not play host in the next couple of games, heading directly onto Rumiatzi after Chemicala to face Astograth. Player, coach or fan, no one leaves a scoreless draw happy so this is an ideal opportunity to recapture some satisfaction after the last encounter. A little rotation in the Hanalian side for these matches as Estaver 98 pairing Berger and Galvan replace the Vikings' Petty and Nelson in the backfield and forwards respectively. No explanation has been forthcoming from the camp as yet but is this an indication of a falling out between the Vikings and their former manager? Questions are being asked for sure.

Schedule
MD1 v Astograth      D 0-0   MD7  BYE                      MD13 v Zwangzug
MD2 @ HOT-DAMN       L 1-3   MD8  v Olastor        W 2-0   MD14 @ Brusselstein
MD3 v Vaishnavaria   W 3-0   MD9  @ Chemicala              MD15 v Saltstead
MD4 @ Zwangzug       L 0-3   MD10 @ Astograth              MD16 BYE
MD5 v Brusselstein   W 4-1   MD11 v HOT-DAMN               MD17 @ Olastor
MD6 @ Saltstead      W 4-2   MD12 @ Vaishnavaria           MD18 v Chemicala

[Hamborn]

Hamborn Squad against Delitai and Liventia. :

In every sport channel in the world :

"The bet of Poslké Malko work, we is on a win streak of 2 wins, Hamborn can still go to the world cup if a bad perform of the 2 first."

In the room of the team : " If we win the 2 matches we can do the irrelevant go to the world cup with 16 the gap is 21 so if the 2 first do a bad perform on 4 matches and we win the 4 others we have 24 and we go first."


1. Leo Surli

Defence :

54. Noan Nolmas

89. Divon Lio

45. Nino Visto

3. Milo Vurno

Mieldfield :

35. Bilo Nosinto

57. Risco Xaco

12. Suno Listo

Attack :

9. Joan Von de Polux (c)

7. Joseph Liven

10. Arlemus Luvoski

Bench:

37. Marco Nisto

38. Willo Novkas

5. Givon Lestar

56. Pietro Loa

34. Neo Kisté

28. Kislo Antaré

"Mission world cup 100"

[TJUN-ia]

Hello, and welcome back to our coverage of World Cup 100! Last you left us, the Jagaurs of TJUN-ia managed to just about get the win over Behh in Kepu Manu, which wasn't exactly pleasant but a win all the same. David Seems and Li Xiu Ying knew that the pressure was on this team to deliver the goods and make the World Cup again, they knew that this position was stressful as all hell, but as long as they didn't lose their heads and kept their composure, everything would be OK. Not every game has to be a 10/10 to qualify for a World Cup...but ahead of the two biggest games of the campaign thus far, you could tell the pressure was on. These games could be decisive in terms of who has the best chance of making the Top 2 from this group, so everyone knew we would have to be at our best in both games.

Test #1 - Pot 4 Choppyhausen, the Team in Teal, on the road. Harmon Merrit had certainly done wonders with his group of players to top this group entering the contest, but this was certainly his toughest test by far and one we hoped we could shine in. This was a make-or-break kinda game, and things got off to a bad start, with Tommy Lukeson forcing an own goal from Jerome Mawae, but then things got even fucking worse as Stephanie Barrientos timed her tackle incorrectly, took out Dominik Keil and got sent to the changing rooms after confirmation from VAR. No one was debating that one; that was fucking reckless and everyone knew it. The rest of this game, we were trying to make something out of nothing, and while Odysseas Issigonis gave us some hope, Tommy Lukeson effectively ended the contest in the 59th, and we couldn't really complain. We were outplayed, we shot ourselves in the foot, and there was nothing we could really do.

Test #2 - Valentine Z, the Kittens, at the National Stadium in TJUN-ia City. To say TJUN-ia knew Valentine Z very well was like saying that the moon and the sun were social distancing in the sky - uh, yeah, we all knew that one mate. TJUN-ia and ValZ first met in the NSSCRA series, and since then, the two nations have enjoyed friendly banter and competition across multiple sports - including most recently during the League Phase of the World Baseball Classic. But now, in this moment, would come the biggest matchup between the two of us outside of NSSCRA, and after what happened in Choppyhausen, we were determined not to let fate keep us down again. The first half was a tense affair, as while Diana Sharafutdinov took the lead in the 9th, Štěpánka Caitlin Madeline W. Sedláčková would end up levelling things up in the 35th to make things really nervy in this special place. It would get worse at the start of the second half as Holly Annemiek Gerrieke Van De Hoogte took the lead in the 55th, but a thunderous strike from Tupu Hau Tapine would spark the crowd back into life in time for a grandstand finish to this game. It would be a drama played out in the space of 15 minutes but in the 87th minute, our fate was sealed...as Emerson Jamie Taylor Erin Scott Maddox headed past Fatemeh Yektaei for what would be the game winner. And the National Stadium, our home, was stunned into silence.

From nowhere, TJUN-ia has been cursed with a zero-point window. Just like that, we are 6 points off the pace. We are in serious trouble...but there is still 9 games left in our season. The battle is not over yet, and until it is, we will not back down! We end Part 1 against Lignuntia on the road before starting Part 2 in New Arbuckle, a road trip that may end up defining our campaign as a whole.
WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER!
GO JAGS!

---

SCHEDULE (Group 20)
(Stadium Guide can be found here)
MD1: vs New Arbuckle (381) - Estádio do Pacífico, Rio Pacífico W 3-0
MD2: @Surne (283) L 1-3
-------------------------------------------------------
MD3: vs Colmaijo (249) - Estadio Universidad Carlandas, Carlandas W 4-0
MD4: @Sangti and the Filindo Isles (87) - Nuevo Estadio Nacional, Nuevo San Marco W 2-0
-------------------------------------------------------
MD5: BYE
MD6: vs Behh (336) - Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo, Kepu Manu W 3-2
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MD7: @Choppyhausen (142) L 1-2
MD8: vs Valentine Z (49) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 2-3
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MD9: @Lignuntia (UR)
MD10: @New Arbuckle (381)
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MD11: vs Surne (283) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
MD12: @Colmaijo (249)
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MD13: vs Sangti and the Filindo Isles (87) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
MD14: BYE
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MD15: @Behh (336)
MD16: vs Choppyhausen (142) - Stade de la Victoire, Roi Ville
-------------------------------------------------------
MD17: @Valentine Z (49) - Kyarpan Stadium, Mandalay
MD18: vs Lignuntia (UR) - Zebra Stadium, Toropo/Almadinat

[Vdara]

Following his mysterious conversation with the mysterious phone caller, Markos began the implementation of a new, improved, simplistic 32-step plan which sought to 'reinvigorate' a side which, in his view, severely lacked the energy needed to mount a serious challenge for the World Cup. The option of doping, whilst not technically illegal by World Cup standards, would be greatly frowned upon by those who respect the integrity of the sport. Thus, the next best option, known as 'MARKOSMANIA', was in full swing. 'MARKOSMANIA', naturally, just so happens to be an elongated acronym which spells out the entire goal and method of the plan. For simplicity's sake, this means:

M - More intensity across all areas. Pressing and passing are crucial.
A - Ambush the opposition with crunching tackles. Bruised ankles all around.
R - Randomly change tactics to cause mass confusion. If we don't know what we're doing, how can they?
K - Know your opponent's every move by overanalysing all previous fixtures. Know your enemy, as well as your enemy's xMisplaced Passes per ninety.
O - Open up passages of play in order to enable wingers to receive the ball in areas with greater space. Stretch the backline like an elastic band.
S - Smile and wave to assert dominance, please the fans, and provide self-motivation. Be the alpha.
M - Mitigate defensive errors by doing absurdly difficult training drills. Bicycle kick clearances all day, every day.
A - Aggression everywhere. No further questions.
N - Navigate difficult periods with discipline and focus. If your head drops, you drop.
I - Immobilise the hardest player on the opposition team. You will be the hardest people on the pitch.
A - Adhere to this strategy. It will be key to your success alone and ours as a team.

Try memorising that in a pinch, never mind adapting to it. Still, no better time than the present to trial such a plan than a run-in with regionmates United Hawkland and group-leaders Milchama...

Home Team Dressing Room
VdarArena
Chania

In an era where tracksuits have begun to dominate common managerial fashion sense, Markos has always enjoyed being suited and booted (or, rather, brogued). To put it in modern parlance, donning such drip gives him mad aura, on god, no cap. With his shoes polished, his suit tailored, and his hair firmly slicked back as if to try and recoup much of his lost youth, Markos strode into the dressing room with a newfound confidence in his team. Hopefully, for his sake, such confidence would be received vice versa.

"Boys and girls, the plan is simple. MARKOSMANIA is in full swing, and the progress I've seen from you all over the past couple of days is already proving to me that it is reaping dividends. I know we were already in a strong position as a team, but there was something deep in my soul which told me to demand more, and I'm extremely glad to have done so. Each and every single one of you has shown amazing levels of grit and tenacity over the course of these tough, tough training sessions, and I can safely say that if we keep this up, the good times will continue to roll. Nevertheless, we've got some football to play, and tens of thousands of fans waiting for us to show them what's what. We haven't played this mob for about ten years, but given we beat them home and away in CAFA 8, I fully count on all of you to put in a solid shift today. I'm not expecting perfection, but I am expecting big things. Prove me right."

Initially, it looked as though the players were struggling to adjust to MARKOSMANIA, with Jasmin Constantinou being wrong-footed by a Hawklander's sidestep and leading directly to a United Hawkland goal. Once things clicked into gear, however, the side never looked back, as Sophia Kyprianou's quick-fire double saw the Vdarans retake the lead going into the halftime break. The second half, naturally, went much smoother as the tactics began to take hold. Callista Zephyra, who really seemed to be hitting her stride in her first senior campaign in the national team, wheeled away in delight after scoring the third to seal victory in front of a raucous and rambunctious home crowd. Pundits were swift to praise the new no-holds-barred style of play which seemed to really make a difference to the result. Would this style continue to impress in the crucial fixture which was to follow, though?

National Stadium
Alexandria

'Yes' was the emphatic answer as, despite a strong Milchaman performance, MARKOSMANIA prevailed once more - much to the delight of the strong travelling fan contingent. The lack of goals somewhat undersold the match, especially given just how attacking-minded both sides were, but the stats painted a somewhat clearer picture. Neither side was entirely clinical, to tell the truth, with both Zephyra and Kyprianou sending a few sitters wide of the net, but not a single Vdaran fan cared entirely too much given they were returning to the VdarArena with all three points. Sure, watching the ball drift off target from a simple scoring position likely gave many of the fans heart attacks, but all's well that ends well. Having maintained their strong start to the group by continuing their unbeaten run, Markos' squad would seek to continue such form against Annestah and Mindhart - the latter of which Vdara have already played and beaten. Should they manage to continue their unbeaten streak, it would be their best start to a World Cup since WC96, which ended at the hands of the all-conquering Holy Empire. This would not match their best ever start, however, which likely forever belongs to Vdara's WCQ87 campaign (11 unbeaten, 9W 2D). However, with MARKOSMANIA now in full swing, who knows what the future holds...

[Farfadillis]

EL FAROLERO

Karinthia literalmente no existe

Ya hacen casi cuatro décadas desde el "descrubrimiento de Karinthia", y alrededor de dos años que los libros escolares fueron actualizados para incluir su existencia. La pequeña tribu oriunda del desierto szoirsiano, se suponía, poseía alrededor de cien mil habitantes. Tenía bandera, tenía lenguaje, lo tenía todo. No se sabe todavía si fue un error, si la mitología comparativa en Farfadillis simplemente tarda mucho en reunir evidencia, o si hubo algún motivo más siniestro para el invento de esta nación, pero lo concreto es que una expedición de Lithico™ al desierto, seguida de una expedición a varias bibliotecas, sobre todo aledañas, pusieron sobre la lupa al estado-nación, y descubrieron que este carecía de existencia.

Las de más naciones farfas rápidamente admitieron nunca haber realmente tenido ningún intercambio diplomático con la ahora estrictamente mitológica tribu. Se sospecha que hubo malversación de los fondos de ayuda internacional destinados a Karinthia, que siempre fueron desproporcionados. Algunos alegan que principalmente fueron una forma más que tenía Alex Terán para desviar fondos hacia su proyecto de imperialismo y genocidio dentro de la isla.

Múltiples antropólogos, historiadores y lingüistas se encuentran en una situación incómoda: ¿sus doctorados siguen siendo válidos? Muchos estudiaron, principalmente de forma teórica y abstracta, los hábitos, las costumbres, la historia y el lenguaje karinthiano. Nada de esto jamás existió. La mayoría de las universidades que emitieron estos doctorados ya se han pronunciado: no hay problema; nadie le dice nada a los matemáticos, físicos y sociólogos por escribir tesis sobre cosas que evidentemente no existen.

En un proceso que seguramente tomará décadas, los mapas se reimprimirán sin Karinthia, y en Szoirsia ya hay a la venta remeras diciendo "Fui a conocer Karinthia y lo único que encontré fue un desierto y una tienda de ropa con un agradable y muy atractivo vendedor a cargo."

Habiendo ya bajado los humos, el antidescubrimiento, lejos de constituir un escándalo, trae alivio: en una isla en la que toda frontera puede implicar un futuro genocidio, incontables víctimas e incalculable sufrimiento, es reconfortante que al menos una nación entera haya existido exclusivamente por descuido, confusión, o lo que fuere.

THE LAMPLIGHTER
(I am keeping this in the translation because it amuses me)

Karinthia literally does not exist

It has been nearly four decades since the “discovery of Karinthia,” and about two years since school textbooks were updated to include its existence. The small tribe supposedly native to the Szoirsian desert was believed to have around one hundred thousand inhabitants. It had a flag, it had a language, it had everything. It is still unknown whether this was an error, whether comparative mythology in Farfadillis simply takes a very long time to gather evidence, or whether there was a more sinister motive behind the invention of this nation. What is clear is that a Lithico™ expedition to the desert, followed by another to several libraries—mostly nearby ones—put the supposed state under scrutiny and discovered that it lacked any existence whatsoever.

The other Farf nations quickly admitted that they had never actually had any diplomatic exchange with the now strictly mythological tribe. It is suspected that there was embezzlement of international aid funds destined for Karinthia, which had always been disproportionately large. Some claim it was mainly another way for Alex Terán to divert money toward his imperialist and genocidal project on the island.

Multiple anthropologists, historians, and linguists now find themselves in an awkward position: are their PhD's still valid? Many of them studied—mostly in theoretical and abstract fashion—Karinthian habits, customs, history, and language. None of these ever existed. Most universities that granted those doctorates have already made the same statement: it’s fine; no one says anything to mathematicians, physicists, or sociologists for writing theses about things that clearly don’t exist.

In a process that will surely take decades, maps will be reprinted without Karinthia, and in Szoirsia there are already T-shirts on sale reading: “I went to see Karinthia and all I found was a desert and a clothing shop with a very nice and very attractive man running it.”

With tempers having cooled, the undiscovery, far from being a scandal, brings relief: on an island where every border might imply a future genocide, countless victims, and immeasurable suffering, it is comforting that at least one entire nation existed solely out of negligence, confusion, or whatever else it may have been.

[United States of Nova Calania]

Nova Calania keeps winning

Starting XI @ The Lake Isle of Innisfree

GK Bleau-Bean - LB A. McCaskill [ -> Blouin '77]- CB Wolkowicz - CB T. Gibouleau-Beaudoin - RB N. McCaskill - DCM Fauteux-McGrath [ -> K. Klingenberg '77]- LW Yi Ming Xiong - ACM C. Gibouleau-Beaudoin - RW Van der Jagt - S Guénette-Velazquez - S Goudreau-Luneau [ -> Janczukowicz '65]

Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer - Nova Calania is having their best qualifications start ever by winning six of their first seven matches. The only team Nova Calania did not beat is Bonusia on matchday 4. On week 7, Nova Calania travelled to The Lake Isle of Innisfree, a team who didn't publish their rosters and sits in 2nd place at the start of game 7. Nova Calania showed them early who's the best nation in group 22 when Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin made a short pass to Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau who kicks it into the goal. Nova Calania increased their lead at the 13th minute when Nathan Fauteux-McGrath scored on a free kick. The Islanders scored at the 25th minute but Nova Calania answered at the 36th minute when Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin had the ball and passed backwards to Rose Van der Jagt who kicked it into the goal. Innisfree scored 7 minutes later and the score at halftime was 3-2 Nova Calania.

In the 2nd half, Nova Calania played harder and, at the 56th minute, Yi Ming Xiong made a short pass to Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin who shoots and she scores. Rose Van der Jagt made a cross to Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez at the 70th minute. Velazquez kicks the ball and it's in. Grzegorz Janczukowicz had the ball at the 87th minute and he made a short pass to Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez who scores. Nova Calania wins 6-2.

Starting XI vs Greater Deutsche @ Stade Fernand-Desgroseilliers, Sainr-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer

GK Mongrain - LB Blouin - CB Wolkowicz [-> Montpetit-Hervieux '64]- CB Olkowski - RB MacNeely [-> Alexa McCaskill '71 ] - DCM Yi Ming Xiong - LW M. Klingenberg - ACM Dockendorf Salazar - RW Van der Jagt [-> M. Wolkowicz '64] - S Guénette-Velazquez - S Malboeuf

On matchday 8, Nova Calania received Greater Deutsche in Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer and fielded a lot of reservists. Nova Calania attacked at the 22nd minute when Rose Van der Jagt made a short pass to Haley Dockendorf Salazar who kicked the ball into the net. Morgan Klingenberg had the ball at the 27th minute and she made a cross to Lily-Rose Malboeuf. She shoots the ball and it's a goal. Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez scored on a penalty at the 71st minute and the final score was 3-0 Nova Calania.

The Tapirs now stand alone in 1st place with 19 points in 7 games. Zenic follows in 2nd place with 15 points. The Islanders dropped to the third place and Bonusia claims the 4th place. Nova Calania will be on the road for their next two games. To Meris on week 9 and to Zenic on matchday 10. The Tapirs will play a lot of reserve players against Meris and their best starting XI against Zenic.

Starting XI @ Meris

GK Kaltenberger - LB McCormack - CB Moineau - CB Guerrero Lopez - RB N. McCaskill - DCM K. Klingenberg - LW Mei Qi Xiong - ACM C. Gibouleau-Beaudoin - RW Gockley - S Guénette-Velazquez - S Berlinguette

Starting XI @ Zenic

GK Bleau-Bean - LB A. McCaskill - CB Wolkowicz - CB T. Gibouleau-Beaudoin - RB N. McCaskill - DCM Fauteux-McGrath - LW Mei Qi Xiong - ACM C. Gibouleau-Beaudoin - RW Van der Jagt - S Guénette-Velazquez - S Goudreau-Luneau

Paul-André Veilleux

[Saint Eleanor]

OOC 1: Tikariot was a great help in co-creating the foundations of this interview. I wrote all the words and he approved of them, however. (In his words, "I like it!!")

OOC 2: Reasonable hours? Saint Eleanor is sufficiently northerly to have 24-hour days for three weeks every June, which is cause for half of the Eleanorian internet to make fun of the rest of the world whenever they talk about how amazing their "summer nights" are. It is not northerly enough to have 24-hour nights in the winter. It is normally light outside, even while the sun has set, for the entire duration of time between approximately May 12th and July 31st, which gives rise to signs such as you see on the right. Around Christmastime, it will be light between 8:45am and 3pm and the sun isn't even going to be up for three hours in the middle of that. It does at least come up when it isn't cloudy, which is a good thing as far as Vitamin D is concerned.
In Episode Ib of Goodbye to Love (January 17th, which is a school day), it will be light only between 8:30am and 3:45pm; the sun will rise midway through Rebecca's Period 1 maths class and set as her Period 5 art class is getting underway. Yes, it is sunny on January 17th, although Saint Eleanor won't be so lucky w/b Jan 23rd. The Eleanorians are blessed to have a long holiday break three weeks either side of the Winter Solstice, so children won't literally have to walk to and from school in the dark; the Eleanorian Health Service technically recommends that everyone over the age of six has their own high-viz jacket (little ones will be accompanied by their sensible, radioactive-chic parents while out and about), and while Rebecca will most certainly be wearing hers today, there are more than a few children who think that it's a bit pointless given the limited amount of darkness involved.
The temperature swings involved, as related by Diana Gray a few cutoffs ago and hundreds of thousands of members of the silent majority over the years, means that it's a good idea to buy multiple of any item of clothing you like. No, that's not a typo, I did mean to say "anything that you personally believe would be a good sartorial investment for you." You will definitely need to wear it, and wearing it will definitely make sense, if you're staying for more than a couple of years.
The Eleanorian government enforces a single law against dangerous driving - the Vehicles Decree 1975, paragraph 34 - which covers irrational mobile phone use at the wheel, driving while so obviously intoxicated that you can't really drive, and so on. It doesn't enforce the presence of fluo vests, hazard warning triangles, Saint Eleanor national football team replica tops, semi-automatic machine guns, or any other piece of equipment in one's car; not being stupid is YOUR responsibility. (Doubly so as there are no speed limits and I mean LITERALLY NONE on Eleanorian roads, although it's likely that anyone on non-emergency business doing more than ~35mph in a residential area will be given a polite talking-to by the Army.)

OOC 3: Reminder that "The Eleanorian Brewery, an arms-length state enterprise, brews cask ales including White Star, the signature blonde real ale. Other brands in the Brewery's silo include Black Star, the dark ale; Bronze Star, the gluten-free version; Gold Star, a more citrusy hit which is totally not Goose IPA; and Blue Star, an alcohol-free beer." In my headcanon, one of the leading brands of private Eleanorian beer is National, the stout beloved of Olympia Woodward; I'm sure there are others, both craft and mainstream, but details somehow TBD.

---

Group of Six meeting (LXXXVI) --- SAINT ELEANOR 4-1 Avote
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Lydia Vickers [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Ian Marks [ballot]
Location: The Nat Lib; Central district, Saint Eleanor city, EXT

Marksy: We did yet another bang-up job courtesy of Izzy Bright, who did much, much better than I could have ever dreamed of doing. (Gentle Breeze has personally promised me that I will start, eventually.) Defeating a team called Avote when your nation doesn't hold elections is always a good start to a qualifying campaign. Others were involved and I'm sure Reniira will steal my notepad any minute now to scream much more loudly than I ever could YES, LADS!!! That was ANOTHER MASSIVE RESULT for SAINT ELEANOR!!!! but she was definitely the main person involved with this and should probably be starting more regularly, especially if Olympia has another accident. (Why do the players who keep having accidents also have to have viable creative interests off the field?) I wasn't involved much in the decision for the Himurajima game but what I gather is the decision was made to largely stick with the same lineup, fiddle about a bit, maybe get Matt Morrison in (unfortunately in place of Katy), let's see what happens but it should be good.

Anyway cheers. By the way Lydia, you're middle class. Doesn't matter that your mum's a cleaner, when you're on that kind of money and you went to private school on your dad's money and you're playing for Big Business FC you're middle class. I don't make the rules

Kirsti Sundgren: "I've been the cause of multiple Eleanorian Fire Brigade callouts"
Chief Football Correspondent Jamie Rodgers does some more in-depth research into the national team's sharp-witted new import
Originally published on Sunday 15th January 2017

Kirsti Sundgren, although a notable figure in her own right, is possibly most controversial for the circumstances in which she became so notable in Saint Eleanor. "I think everyone else made it controversial. Everything I've done is because I've wanted to do it, but the fact that I did it here is almost an accident of history."

Until recently, almost every player in the history of the national team was someone born in Saint Eleanor whose family first arrived long before the War of Independence. Sundgren is notable as she had no Eleanorian connections at all until 2005. "It is universally known that I grew up in Norrhem. Ironically, I got bored of my Norrish classes very quickly; there is a reason why I am doing this interview in Terranean instead. I really liked my biology teacher, we shall say. I always liked the opportunity to take part in sports at school, even if we don't quite have your cup setup; we might be slightly too big a nation for that. We do have a lot of other sports - ice hockey, skiiing when it's particularly cold - which you don't get a lot of here and I'd recommend that anyone who's interested in having their child just have a lot of fun with a lot of winter sport consider moving to Norrhem. You'll have to pay tax because we don't even have an oil-producing monopoly, never mind one that has its profits recycled into the treasury, but it's reasonable if you're on an average salary."

Perhaps her foremost memory of PE class has nothing to do with any competition, though. "I found out early on that I was... instinctive enough to be a goalkeeper. I hate these sorts of cliche, but everyone I know seems to tell me I was. I would happily catch and parry away all manner of things, even if I hurt myself a bit in doing so. I was largely deterred from doing so when one of my rather annoying classmates decided that it would be a good idea to just throw a watermelon at me and see how I would deal with it; my uniform was ruled out of action for a couple of weeks and I've still not forgiven them for the transgression. Thankfully, Saint Eleanor is the first nation I've been in with a culture of widespread gun ownership."

It did not seem likely that her career would amount to much before her arrival at Athletic. "As is apparently typical of a lot of players at the great Norrish academy, I was to be offloaded. That I was, to Coloruna de Paraiso, a club you've never heard of before. I appreciated the opportunity to actually do something in a functional league system that most people know about, but it was much too hot for me - so is Saint Eleanor, but only for a few weeks in any year - and you cannot buy so much as a pint of beer without absconding for a weekend. If I wanted a beer here, I'd spend five dollars, buy three or four of them, and try to stop the reserve goalkeeper taking my place in the lineup for a day afterwards. I liked the players, but like me, they were not particularly good or remarkable. I've seen a few newspaper reports suggesting that I only moved clubs because Athletic Saint Eleanor did not manage to sign Jill Swanson, which sounds unbelievable but might as well be the truth of their end; as far as I was concerned, I wanted a more welcome change of scenery. It even gets dark at reasonable hours, which I appreciate."

What of the other rumours that Sundgren chose the Eleanorian national team mainly, if not purely, because it was offering World Cup qualification? "That was one of the considerations. It certainly wasn't the only one. Would I call myself more Eleanorian than Norrish at this point? I'm not convinced that I am, but I always appreciate a good adventure, and if that means playing football for a nation where I have spent one-third of my entire life and in which I am mostly trusted, I would not complain about that opportunity!" Of course, while she could well just talk about her previous experiences with Athletic Saint Eleanor, she does not seem to be particularly interested in this. "I am not drawn to talking a lot, especially about myself. If you would really like to learn more about me, you can find out on the internet, or peruse the National Archives' reading rooms. There are actually a lot of good people here, every match is its own experience, and the most trouble I have been in was when I got attacked unprovoked outside a local pub and lost the eventual game of mass rioting. The reserve goalkeeper actually was called up, we won 3-1 and a couple of questions were raised after then. Maybe three of them. The second-most trouble is that my neighbours keep complaining about me playing the nyckelharpa; it's a fun escape, but a very difficult instrument to play, even for me!"

Sundgren has a few interests off the field, and has befriended some surprising players on that basis. "I like cooking, and will normally fail horribly; I've been the cause of multiple Eleanorian Fire Brigade callouts. I also like people who cook, especially if they are any better than me. Despite what you may think of what I think, Kichirō Matsuda is good at this; he was engineered to be superhuman at playing football, not at cooking dinner, but I think he's gotten it just right because he's been fending for himself for literally his entire life. Virtually the entire team knows how to cook, but Matsuda is better at it than most other people; Ian Marks, the new striker, is also good at it, which is the one thing that doesn't count against him. Olympia Woodward likes eating out, a lot, but she has also made the best pasta I have ever had - I say that and I'm not even a vegan. Arielle Richardson shares my interest in history and culture, even if we are focused on our respective nations'; mind you, she is only a slightly better chef than I am."

There is a good reason why Sundgren has only taken up an hour of the EFB's time in the past decade as opposed to virtually all of it. "I do not tend to like whatever has passed for 'sports nutrition' in most, what I assumed was all, countries. It is not sloppy, but it is dreary and overbearing and not what I would be paying my taxes for, if I had to pay them. At one point early on in my time at the Athletic, I decided to go down to Torch, the nationwide burger chain, and order myself a double cheeseburger because I wanted to. It was 9:30pm on a February night, so I did not expect to see anyone I knew there, but then Esther Launceston - may she be blessed with many children - popped up from the nearest booth and said 'we need to talk!' I thought I was in trouble, but we spent an inordinate amount of time talking about what was on television and what was going on with the world. The fact that the best club in one of the best leagues in the world is less annoying on this matter than the Ko-orenite third division is impressive; they only really care that you are getting enough protein, carbohydrates, and other nice things."

It is evident that Kirsti Sundgren prefers to let her performances on the field - which, in my experience, have been rational, considered, and more than a bit provocative on occasion - to speak for themselves, given the extent to which she has talked about everything else. It seems almost certain that she will in due course become the national team's starting goalkeeper, even if only for a couple of cycles; either way, while she would have no complaints, she would certainly be all-too-sarcastic.

Group of Six meeting (LXXXVII) --- Himurajima 2-1 SAINT ELEANOR
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Lydia Vickers [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Arielle Richardson [ballot]
Location: World's End Coffee; Elsmouth town, EXT

Stephen here, again; I'll let Cathy take the wheel after Saint Lazarus. Despite Arielle's joking insistence that "this marks the end of the world as we knew it," she is poetic enough to know the difference between fantasy and reality and accepted that, for a match between 336th and 6th, this was seriously well-fought on the Himurajimans' part. GB is actually convinced that Himurajima did better than us, which wouldn't be much of a surprise given that very few of these kinds of upset tend to be of the smash-and-grab variety when it comes to us. Overall, the consensus is that both teams tried their best, but that our opposition was underestimated by everyone - including ourselves - and might well go on to great things in the future, if they can say who they're fielding before each game.

We have a bye day before our next match, which gives us about as much time to recuperate and recover as we do prior to a normal match of international football, given the confusion involved. In the spirit of the erstwhile Bridget Coombe, who is probably doomed to become a better manager than I ever will be, the idea of fielding the reserve lineup was brought up, although more for the sheer hell of it compared to last cycle. GB and Reniira agree, although largely for the different and sensible reason that many of these players are in the prime of their careers and shouldn't be wasted - so debuts will be granted to Kirsti and Diana (Ian was subbed on last time) and good return journeys to many more.

[Calgasia]

Stöckl Motor Werke

Chapter 4: A new Millenium - The Stöckl Tosca

The Stöckl story so far...
Introduction & Context
Chapter 1 - The Stöckl Nabucco
Chapter 2 - The Stöckl Otello
Chapter 3 - The Stöckl Aria

The year 2000 finally came to Calgasia. The year when the portal to the multiverse finally opened after 83 years. And at that moment, the cultural revolution finally exploded. After the first shocks following the opening (especially those concerned with the fate of the Austro-Hungarian empire back home). Renewed trade has made the economy boom, with millions of tonnes exchanged in imports and exports. Society has undergone tremendous changes since the opening of the portal. New ideas, new technologies, and new forms of communication have brought about profound changes in a very short time in a country that had previously been isolated. And the Groovy Goldstadt movement has taken the centre of the stage ever since.

Calgasia was changing at the speed of sound.

And sound was one of the things that changed the most. New music was taking the stage, with groups like Klanghaus and singers like Mira standing out, giving voice to this current era.

Group Klanghaus performing Rock 'n Roll Music at the Montecarlo Theater, Goldstadt



Mira singing live on CRF television her song "Empty City"

The Stöckl Aria became the car of the year 2000, with thousands being sold across the country as well as the universe. Almost every star, every artist, every it-girl, every rich and famous has bought one. During that year, you had to be seen on an Aria to be someone in Goldstadt. Success had finally arrived to Stöckl after 40 years of living in the shadow. But with success came fame, and all of its consequences.

Oh boy, the months after we released the Aria is the best time I've ever had. Wolfgang Jr. practically became a rock star. He was a regular at every meeting, everybody wanted to be near him. And his charisma and presence made the rest. We barely worked on the new car project and the board of directors - a bunch of old geezers - started to get nervous. And for good reason, I must say.

I remember a Thursday, it had to be March or April. I finish my work in the afternoon and start to pack my things. Wolfgang approached me and asked me if I had any plans. I replied no and he told me that down in the Mitte district, there was a presentation or a concert or something like that, I can't remember. I said yes but only one drink, we had work on Friday, and we took the car -an Aria, obviously-
What a party! Pretty girls, interesting people, wine flowing freely... needless to say, I didn't just have one drink, we spent the whole night there. I was amazed, man. I'm of Czech origin, from Melperk, and although I'd been in Goldstadt for a few years, I didn't know many people beyond my colleagues from the factory, but Wolfgang, with his usual people skills, introduced me to loads of people. It turns out I noticed a friend of his partner at the time (or rather, his fling). We were chatting, blah blah, the usual. I had a good time but didn't thought I had much of a chance with her. Anyways, after a while, I couldn't see Wolfgang anymore -he always disappears at the parties!-, so I decided to go home.

The next day I arrived at the factory with a terrible hangover, like almost everyone else in the Futura group. Wolfgang came up to me, we talked about the night before, and then he mentioned this girl, Mia, saying, ‘You were in good company last night, huh?’ I laughed, but said I was an idiot for not asking for her number. He gets very serious and says, ‘We have to fix this!’ and runs to his desk to make a call. I tried in vain to tell him not to bother, but after a while he comes back and says, ‘Tomorrow, Saturday, a group of friends are getting together and she'll be there. You're coming, right?’
I stammer a few words. ‘Say no more, I'll pick you up at your house tomorrow at 6 and we'll go in the Aria.’

Saturday arrives. I have never been so embarrassed in my life as when I arrived with Wolfgang at the restaurant Le P'tit Parisien. Everyone was staring as we got out of the red Stöckl Aria and entered the restaurant where her and Wolfgang's group of friends were. Not even during my university exams had I been so nervous! I was blushing red. And Wolfgang kept praising me: ‘This is our best engineer ever,’ ‘we're working on the new model, and Jan is a key part of it,’ and ‘Jan is a bit shy at first, but he's hilarious’ etcétera, and I got redder and redder. Luckily, the wine helped me loosen up a bit, and I was able to say more than just stammered words during dinner. In the end, we had a good time, and at the end of the evening, Mia gave me a little piece of paper and said, ‘I hope you won't be so nervous next time.’ Wolfgang looked at me, winked and said, ‘Let me know when you want to borrow the red Aria. Something tells me you're going to need it next weekend.’

In the end, he was right. Wolfgang lent me that red Stöckl Aria, I met up with Mia, and I married her five months ago.

Jan Novotný, chief mechanical engineer at Stöckl Motor Werke

Much to the dismay of his father, Wolfgang Stöckl Jr became one of the most prominent people of the Goldstadt society, as evidenced by his numerous gossip stories.



Left: Countess Emilia Esterházy. Right: Actress Hanna Markstein.

Ach, Herr Stöckl! The youngest member of the family has been an endless source of gossip column stories. We have sold many magazines thanks to him.
Mr Stöckl's list of love affairs is long despite his still young age.

Right after the release of Stöckl Aria, he was seen in numerous times in the company of Countess Emilia Esterházy, a member of one of the most important families of the nation. They have been seen together over the years, although not as frequently as in early 2000.
Then came actress Hanna Markstein. They were seen together in the Calgasian Riviera, dining in Kastelbell, fighting in public, then reconciling. She included a portrait of him in her last exhibition. When I asked her about a possible relationship with the carmaker, she just said "I like his cars very much".
After Frau Markstein came Helena Schreiber, the actress, but it looks like the chemistry ended up pretty soon -Frau Schreiber is known in the artistic circles to be "rather boring"-. Another Helena has been rumoured, Helena von Falkenstein from the powerful aristocratic family, but I don't give much credit to this gossip, according to my sources.

And the list doesn't end up there. In the last three or four years he has been seen with singer Mira. They were photographed at a gala holding hands in 2002. Later that year, she released a song . Margarete Lang, heir of the Lang Group, skied together in Christmas and early 2003

Then, of course, is THE rumour. He has been seen more than once in the company of Princess Amalia von Habsburg. Yes, the sister of His Majesty King Lancelot.
The Palace, naturally, has declined to comment.

One thing is sure about Herr Stöckl. Women admire him, men imitate him, and journalists like myself… we simply follow the trail. He is a modern Casanova, half genius, half scandalous, entirely Calgasian.

Maria Holzfäller, chief editor of Kulturmagazin.

"Entirely Calgasian. Love that, I think I'll use it in our next ad campaign"

Wolfgang Stöckl Jr.

Turn down the music
But the period of celebration and fame at Stöckl Motor Werke lasted from New Year's Day 2000 until late spring. After a severe argument with Wolfgang Sr., the young members of the Futura group resumed work on the new project, the Stöckl Tosca.

Wolfgang Jr soon understood that if Stöckl wanted to survive and thrive in the future, the company would have to change strategy and enter other markets and customers beyond the beautiful people of big Calgasian cities. The company’s strategy would have these main points:
Expand the production capacity to support the growth in sales
Expand the models catalogue beyond pure sports cars
Employ an aggressive marketing strategy to expand the customer base beyond Calgasia and the traditional Stöckl buyers
Enhance the mechanical and luxury excellence that the company has achieved
Capitalise on the social and cultural changes in the country to become the car brand associated with such movement, rendering the competition as “old”

The Tosca is the answer to all of those changes. The first non-sport car of the company, a compact executive car (also known as a sedan in other geographies) with a distinctive sport feel and a spacious and luxurious interior. Reliability and safety were paramount to the new model, and the starting asking price had to be “reasonable”, meaning it had to be accessible to the growing urban class in Calgasia but also in other countries now that the portal had reopened. In short, a war declaration to the traditional car automakers in the country, especially Austro-Daimler, that never expected that Stöckl would bring up the fight to their own territory.

And to power all of this, a new engine. The 1.6-litre, “twin cam”, is an inline four, twin-spark, DOHC, naturally aspirated engine. Originally designed for the Stöckl Aria, the continuous reliability issues during the project phase delayed the release of the engine, but in a mere three years' time, it has become a symbol of Stöckl and the Calgasian engineering by extension.

The transmission saw changes as well, with a brand new manual 5-speed gearbox from WMF to ensure a smoother change in compared to the “rough, sporty” gearbox from the Aria. The 4-speed automatic gearbox from RoteWerk returns as an option.

The impact has been even bigger than the Stöckl Aria. Perhaps not in the cultural level, but definitely in the economic and industrial, with buying orders from all across the country and overseas right after its release in spring 2002.

Critics praise its handling as well as its spacious interior, finishes and materials, boot capacity and overall quality. The 1.6 engine has also been well received, while they note that the 1.3 is somewhat lacking in power, especially on hills with a loaded car.

‘41,000 NSD is not cheap, but for this price, the user gets a saloon car that is on a par with more prestigious and expensive options in terms of finish and space, and which also has a sporty feel that its rivals in this segment lack. It is, in short, the ideal choice for families who can afford it.’

We had to change completely our mindset with the Tosca. We were used to sports cars, especially the recent Aria, and we had to create a sedan. That means a different, biggest structure, different suspension, different spaces. We were coming from the Aria, a small roadster where the interior is barely important, while on the Tosca, interior is as important as the performance.

It took long hours to adapt the team to the new platform, but I think the team made an excellent work.

The luxurious interior and the heart of the machine

Specifications and Equipment

Model	Engine	Max Power	Torque	Top Speed	Transmission	Price (NSD)
Tosca 1300	1,290 cc SOHC I4	80 hp (59 kW) @ 5,600 rpm	122 Nm @ 3,200 rpm	160 km/h (99 mph)	5-speed manual	35,000
Tosca 1600	1,570 cc DOHC I4 (STCE)	100 hp (74 kW) @ 6,000 rpm	138 Nm @ 3,600 rpm	180 km/h (112 mph)	5-speed manual or 4-speed automatic	41,000
Floria Tosca	1,570 cc DOHC I4 (STCE)	100 hp (74 kW) @ 6,000 rpm	138 Nm @ 3,600 rpm	180 km/h (112 mph)	5-speed manual or 4-speed automatic	52,000

Standard Equipment
Safety
Dual front airbags (driver & passenger)
4-wheel disc brakes (ventilated front) with ABS
Reinforced safety cell
Immobilizer & central locking
Interior & Comfort
Dual-tone fabric upholstery with contrast stitching (leather optional)
Wooden dashboard
Power windows (front)
Air ventilation
Analog clock on centre console
Rear folding seatbacks (60/40 split)
Courtesy lighting and glove compartment illumination
Air conditioning (1600 & Floria only)
Audio & Technology
AM/FM stereo radio
Premium Glanz&Sohn speakers (Tosca 1600 & Floria)
Exterior
14” steel wheels with hubcaps (Tosca 1300)
15” alloy wheels (Tosca 1600)
Chromed grille surround

Optional Equipment & Packages
Metallic paint finish (+900 NSD)
Electric Sunroof (+1,200 NSD)
Automatic transmission (+1,500 NSD)
Heated front seats (+700 NSD)
Leather interior (1300 / 1600) (+2,000 NSD)
Sport suspension kit (1600) (+1,100 NSD)
Alloy wheels (1300) (+1,200 NSD)
Premium sound upgrade (1300) (+900 NSD)

Touring Pack
4-speed automatic gearbox, upgraded audio, electric mirrors, 1300 / 1600, +2,100 NSD

Sportiva Pack
Sport suspension, 15” alloys, leather steering wheel, short-ratio gearbox, 1600, +2,500 NSD

Floria Edition
Exclusive two-tone exterior, special leather, chromed handlers, sunroof, premium 6-speaker system, heated seats, Floria Tosca only, Included

Colours: Rosso Corsa, Alpine White, Goldstadt Blue, Melperk Green, Obsidian Black, Lemon Yellow, Light Blue, Tangerine Orange, Light Green

Contact your nearest Stöckl dealer for more details

Context:
- Calgasia is a constitutional monarchy founded by Austro-Hungarian settlers in 1917 after the accidental discovery of an interdimensional portal between the Earth and a very similar planet, evolving from an isolated imperial colony into a modern, democratic, and industrial nation.
- The technological level is comparable to real Earth 1960s. There can be some advanced features to fit with the rest of the NSS nations, but generally consider this level.

- The current year in Calgasia is 2004. Connexions and trade with the rest of the multiverse started only in the year 2000 after more than 80 years isolated. That explains the current backwards tech level.

- Due to the reopening of the nation to the multiverse, Calgasia is experiencing a social and cultural revolution, comparable to the Swinging Sixties in the Western world back on Earth, especially the UK. Arts, music, fashion, multimedia, popular consciousness, feminism, … almost all aspects of the traditional Calgasian society are being challenged and modified by the youth. Mass consumption and the economic boom that the country is having because of the renewed trade are fuelling this movement. This revolution is being felt across the country, but especially in the capital, with the movement Groovy Goldstadt. More real-life info here, if you’re curious: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swinging_Sixties

- Almost all models are based on real Alfa Romeo cars, modified through Gemini AI. Thus all images, unless stated, are AI-generated.

OOC: all images are AI generated
OOC 2: artists are clearly based on The Beatles and Italian singer Mina (one of the best voices ever)
The Tosca is based on the 1960s Alfa Romeo Giulia

[West Vdara]

While filthy capitalist East Vdara is hyperfocused on a cult of personality surrounding a below-average goalkeeper and manager, the glorious, bountiful, and plentiful land of the Vdaran Western Territories continues to show signs of great progress whilst adhering to the only morally correct ideology in the universe. Goals galore from workingclassmen prove for once and for all that the puny, regressive attitude of our former countrymen will continue to drag them downwards into the snake pit of globalist degeneracy whilst our collectivist attitude of togetherness and unity shits all over their fat-cat individualism.

[Pyazhnaya]

[Interior – Football Federation of Pyazhnaya Headquarters, Krasnograd – Conference Room A]
The walls are of the same uninspired beige that seems to be mandatory standard for federations across the universe. The air smells faintly of floor polish and old coffee, and not the good kind either. A long conference table stretches under the Federation crest and the motto “Сила, Честь, Команда,” Strength, Honour, Team. A row of microphones waits like silent judges.

At one end sits Simona Zubova, her usual elegance tempered by the look in her eyes that could only be described as a mix of a scalpel and an iceberg. Two committee members flank her, surrounded by folders and pens that will likely never be used.

At the other end, Coach Aleksandra Agratova slouches comfortably, expression unreadable.
Next to her, Danila Terentyev, Danila Mukhametshin, Taras Rybalkin, and Naira Akhatova, the "AuraCast Four," as the tabloids have dubbed them, and Viktoria Khamidullina. Nobody is quite sure why she was summoned as well.

A red light blinks on a corner camera. For “official documentation.” Everyone knows it’s also for leaks.

Simona Zubova:
Let the record show this is a formal disciplinary review following the recent AuraCast broadcast, in which certain members of the Pyazhnayan national football team made remarks— (checking her notes) —“of a satirical and disrespectful nature” toward the Federation and its officials.

Danila Terentyev:
We prefer “entertaining and insightful,” but okay.

Simona Zubova: (ignoring him)
The purpose of this hearing is not to punish but to understand whether this behaviour reflects a wider issue of discipline and leadership under Coach Agratova.

Agratova: (dryly)
Wonderful. Always good to start with an open mind.

(one of the committee members clears his throat nervously)

Simona Zubova:
Perhaps you’d like to explain, Mr. Terentyev, what exactly possessed you to livestream a hacked version of a licensed video game, in which Pyazhnaya played against itself, while making snide remarks about the Federation.

Danila Terentyev:
Patriotism? Double the Pyazhnaya, double the glory.

Danila Mukhametshin:
Also, we just wanted to see who’d win, the Pyazhnaya coached by Aleksandra Agratova or the Pyazhnaya coached by “SimonaZ88.”

A few players chuckle. Zubova’s expression remains carved from granite.

Simona Zubova:
You used my name?

Danila Mukhametshin:
Oh, don’t worry, ma’am, your team played very defensively in the traditional Pyazhnayan style. You know, back when we couldn't hit the ocean if we fell off a boat.

(Taras coughs to hide his laugh. Viktoria pinches the bridge of her nose.)

Committee Member 1:
This is serious! The clip of Mr. Mukhametshin shouting, “Accountability is overrated!” has been viewed nearly five million times.

Danila Mukhametshin:
Oh, really? Nice! Uh, sorry, that’s called reach. Maybe the FFP should thank us for the publicity.

Simona Zubova:
You’re suggesting insubordination as a marketing strategy?

Danila Terentyev:
Only if it works.

(Agratova smirks slightly. Zubova notices.)

Simona Zubova:
Coach Agratova, you appear amused.

Agratova:
Not amused, more impressed. It takes real Pyazhnayan creativity to turn a friendly stream into a geopolitical incident.

Simona Zubova:
And you condone this behaviour?

Agratova:
I condone players who care enough to talk about their sport, even if their timing is questionable.

Committee Member 2:
So you think this chaos reflects leadership?

Agratova:
It's not chaos, it reflects life. Control everything too tightly, and nothing moves forward.

(Zubova taps her pen slowly, her face managing to become even tighter.)

Naira Akhatova:
Look, we were just having fun. Everyone’s been on edge with everything that has been going on around us. If you read the chat, most fans loved it. Said it was the first time they’d seen the national team being… human.

Viktoria Khamidullina:
Yeah. For once, people weren’t talking about tactics or federation politics; they were laughing with us.

Simona Zubova:
And laughing at the Federation.

Danila Terentyev:
Oh, come on, ma’am. The Federation’s been around a hundred years. I think it’ll survive a meme. It has survived criminally bad coffee for decades.

(Even some staff outside the room chuckle faintly; Zubova hears it and bristles.)

Committee Member 1:
Still, your remarks about “outdated bureaucrats” and “committee dinosaurs” were—

Danila Mukhametshin:
Metaphorical! Creative expression! Symbolism!

Simona Zubova:
You called the Federation a “museum of fossils.”

Danila Mukhametshin:
Exactly: symbolism.

(Agratova coughs to hide a laugh. The pen tapping resumes.)

Simona Zubova:
Very well. Let’s speak plainly. Why is there such visible hostility toward Federation oversight?

(A beat. The room goes quiet. For once, the jokes fade.)

Danila Terentyev:
Because it feels like you don’t trust us. Every move we make, someone’s watching, waiting for a headline. Half the time we spend explaining ourselves, not playing football.

Viktoria Khamidullina:
It’s exhausting. We’re not politicians. We just want to play.

Naira Akhatova:
We respect what the Federation does. But respect goes both ways. Coach Agratova has brought back fun, energy, spirit. Can she be a bit unconventional? Sure, but nothing she has done is undermining anybody's authority, unless, of course, you consider people thinking for themselves a problem?

(Zubova studies them. Something in her expression shifts, like an iced-over river beginning to crack during spring.)

Simona Zubova: (quietly)
Do you know how many times I’ve heard that speech?

(The players glance at each other; unsure how to answer.)

Danila Mukhametshin:
Was that an actual question or a rhetoric one?

Simona Zubova: (ignoring him)
From coaches. From staff. From every generation of players who think the Federation doesn’t understand them. And maybe… you’re right.

(A faint pause. Even Agratova looks up, surprised.)

Simona Zubova:
But if I let things slide, if I ignore decorum, you’ll be the next generation people accuse me of losing control of. That’s my job. To balance it. And what you have been doing has been going against the tried and tested principles of Pyazhnaya!

Agratova: (softly)
So you're afraid of progress.

(They lock eyes for a moment and if Zubova's looks could kill, Pyazhnaya would need a new national team coach.)

Committee Member 2:
So what do we do, then?

Simona Zubova:
We issue a formal warning to the players.
No suspension. No fine. Yet. But the AuraCast stays down, and no further “modifications” to Federation property.

Danila Terentyev: (grins)
So if it’s a different game—

Simona Zubova:
Don’t push your luck, Mr. Terentyev.

Danila Mukhametshin:
I wonder what you'll say when Danila and I take over the national team.

The room falls so silent, a feather could be heard falling.

---

[Later – Outside the Federation Building]
The group steps out into the cold Krasnograd air. Reporters hover by the gates, shouting questions, but the players wave but say nothing — for once.

Danila Mukhametshin:
So that went… better than expected?

Viktoria Khamidullina:
Depends on your definition of “better.”

Danila Terentyev:
No fines, no bans, no public flogging. I’ll take that.

Naira Akhatova:
You do realize she’s watching every move we make now.

Danila Mukhametshin:
Good. Maybe we’ll get her to subscribe next time.

(Viktoria groans but then joins in the laughter as they walk off.)

[Cut to – Zubova’s Office, Evening]

Zubova sits alone, the city lights reflected in her glasses.
She replays a clip of the AuraCast on her tablet, the moment when both Danilas scream as they accidentally score an own goal, followed by chaotic laughter and the chat reactions.

She watches for a moment, then smirks; just barely.[/i[

Simona Zubova: (murmuring)
Idiots. But passionate idiots. They are dangerous.

[i](She closes the tablet. Her reflection in the window looks tired, but worried.)

[The Osnari Federation]

The Baron

September 10th, 2027
The Baron of Teiningen, known formally as William Teiningen the Fifth, and to his friends as Will, was having a pretty good day for himself. The morning state briefing hadn’t revealed anything he needed to take immediate action on, so he was free to head out for the day on his previously scheduled hunting trip to the northern woods of Teiningen.

The government structure of the Osnari Federation is a little odd, to say the least. The federal government is best characterized as a parliamentary system, with representatives elected from each state. The hiccup there, though, is that the states get to determine how the representatives are elected. It’s a fairly intuitive process in the Federation’s democratic states: Buckenhofer, Suris, and Westnar. But in the monarchical states of Grafling and Teiningen, the representatives are appointed by the Baron, a hereditary position who leads the state, passing from father to son in a system that has not been changed since the states were formed.

William Teiningen was one of these, ascending to the throne nineteen years prior at the age of twenty-four. He was not a particularly popular baron, but he got the job done as well as his forebears while enjoying the pleasures of his job, particularly the hunting trips he often took, more than his forebears.

Today, the Baron Teiningen and his retinue were due to head north to the forests around the town of Latbach in search of deer, which the Baron was told were quite plentiful in Latbach this time of year. The Baron had been to Latbach a few times before. It was a pretty little town, with its strong Surisian culture. In his younger days, he’d even attended a Surit Latbach football match with his family; teams from Teiningen were almost insultingly uncompetitive across the board, so it wasn’t completely unusual to see members of the Teiningen royal family attending second- and third-tier matches while the royal family of Grafling, for example, got to see Eliteliga and international matches by way of Tollerberg FC. That had changed in the last season, as Rastorf FC of Teiningen’s capital city finally made their way to the newly expanded Eliteliga.

The drive north to Latbach was long, and the Baron, along with his retinue, had left early to maximize the time spent hunting, skipping the usual lavish breakfast in favor of a brief visit to a local coffee shop on the way out of Rastorf. The Baron did not have a family, unusual for a royal, particularly a royal head of state. He’d objected to arranged marriage and everything that came with it, and so he remained relatively alone. That is, except when he was hunting. The Baron enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, the feeling of being one with nature, the tension as he waited, breath bated, for the perfect moment to strike. The Baron did not feel alone in those moments.

Eventually, after some two hours of driving, the retinue arrived at the hunting spot near Latbach. The Baron’s security was light for these sorts of trips. They weren’t needed, and any effort to sweep the woods would see the deer scared off, defeating the point of the trip to begin with. No part of the Baron’s administration liked this setup, particularly the part where he went into the woods alone, but his orders, at the end of the day, were his orders.

The Baron stepped out of the well-armored black car that his security insisted he use, smelling the air. It was a crisp Monday morning, the blue sky, chilly temperatures, and dewy grass to match. It was beautiful. After taking in his surroundings and giving a nod to his aide, the Baron grabbed his bow and arrow and set off into the woods with naught more than camouflage and a cell phone.

It was not too long before the Baron located somewhat fresh deer tracks, which he began to follow. The woods were peaceful. Birds cried in the distance, and the trees still retained the green of summer, some having turned just the slightest shade of yellow. The Baron continued to track the deer, eventually spotting it off in the distance between the trees. A large buck, his biggest of the year if he could get it. The Baron slowly stalked closer in the deer, making no noise.

He raised his bow, leveled the arrow. All fell silent for a moment.

He heard the wings of a bird flap as it flew away.

The Baron’s heart pounded. He did not feel alone.

Crack.

Zip.

The buck ran off as the Baron fell to the ground, gripping his chest.

[Kimi-Suomi]

Me vain jatkamme voittamista. The Huuhkajat of Kimi-Suomi are in the midst of the greatest run in their history in terms of WCQ, at least in terms of how this one has started. The Lineal Unofficial World Champions have gone 5-0-0 to start the campaign, including the most recent act of an 11-2 Scorigami at home that sent shockwaves through the group and beyond. But despite all that we have done, the goals we have scored and just how convincing we have been thus far, Esko Laaksonen knew our toughest tests were still in front of us. We had yet to play either of the Pot 1 or Pot 2 teams in this group, and everyone knew that everything could fall apart at their hands. One was coming up very soon, so how could we cope with all of this newfound belief and pressure? Was this team even one to believe in, or is this start a trick of almighty proportions? We would find out soon enough...

But up first, a trip to take on Etelä-Kerala in a game we could not ignore for obvious reasons. No one wanted the Huuhkajat to trip up in the game before the first huge one on the schedule, so we actually treated this away day with a lot of respect. No, this wasn't another 11-2 or even a 6-2, but instead, we played a methodical game of football that we simply won, and that was all we needed to do. Was it the flashiest game out there on MD7? Absolutely not, but we got the job done, and that was all we needed to do. Ebba Persson and Jason Jenner-Pokka, and just like that, we were done. 2-0, thank you for having us, time to go home...

The Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies) in Lumikukkulat bore witness to 13 goals and a historic Scorigami last time out...but tonight, a different kind of vibe was in the air. Sarzoninen, the Champions of the 22nd World Cup, were in the house, an icon of this sport who has played so many of these cycles; their fingerprints are effectively all over the history we are all celebrating this cycle. Caleb Rush's Stars hadn't gotten off to the best of starts in this group, but they were still #36 in the world and a team we knew we had to get results over if we wanted to keep the good times rolling for another matchday. This would be the match where the UWC belt came the closest to being released from Esko's waist, and oh boy, it showed. The first half was tense as all hell, especially during an opening half hour in which both Alexander Ekdal and John Wells were kept busy, and the first blow would end up being struck in the 35th through Spencer Wilson. 1-0 Stars and things felt nervous for a little while, but a superb ball from Enni Pajari found Ebba Persson, and she made no mistake in tying this one up in the 43rd.

1-1 at the break of a contest that was playing out as expected, a tight contest between two brilliant teams that wanted a win over the other by any means necessary. The second half would start poorly, however, as Kitt Morgan simply ran into space and decided that this game needed their strike towards the top bins...a beautiful goal that sent the Stars back in front. 2-1 Sarzoninen and now, the fans here in Lumi were getting worried. Was this the night that their dreams would finally start falling apart?

"Not so fast!" said Jason Jenner-Pokka, who headed home a Karl Leif Svonsson corner in the 67th to level us up at 2-2. The remaining 20 minutes were some of the most stressful non-Playoff football the Huuhkajat had ever been exposed to, as their undefeated record and the UWC Belt would all be swiped away in an instant, and everyone knew it. It was frantic on both ends of the pitch, with both teams looking desperate for the winner, but by the time the 87th arrived, many were contemplating if taking the draw was for the best - dropping points without dropping the belt or the unbeaten start. That result, a 2-2 draw, would've been taken by most Huuhkajat fans prior to kickoff...but in the heat of the moment, they were hungry for a winner...and something happened to give them one. A corner was awarded, and Gustav Brodin had the role of trying to set up a chance towards Wells in the net. He passed the ball towards Sergei Mironov, who struck the ball towards the box, hoping to find a head...to which the head of Ursula Möttölä managed to guide the ball past Wells and into that net. Cue a roar registered by the Richter scale at a local university, cue mass hysteria both on and off the pitch, and cue Esko Laaksonen, a man usually calm and unemotive, running onto the pitch to celebrate with Alexander Ekdal like he had just won the whole thing. He got booked for that celebration, but in that moment, that was the best yellow card of his life. Extra time was nervous as the lead was defended, but in the end, the whistle was blown and the war was won. A former Mestari had fallen on Suomen soil. The Huuhkajat of Kimi-Suomi, in their backyard, had beaten the Stars of Sarzoninen. Somehow, someway, a team who has never made the dance had started the Satavuotisjuhlatanssi 7-0-0.

This is uncharted territory for the Huuhkajat, by multiple factors, and no one knew where this train ride was headed. Before this cycle started, many fans wouldn't have believed that they would still be holding this UWC belt this late in the campaign...but to do so at 7-0-0? Unthinkable. Not even JYK-inen, at their very best, have managed to pull off something like this. And yet somehow, the Huuhkajat remain top...and 5 points clear at that.

Aleirave will welcome us to New Alikonor next time, a contest that may end up seeing this belt finally change hands, before the second part of this road trip sends us to Veleste.

No matter what happens now, no matter if this campaign spirals out of control and we end up collapsing into dust, we will always have this moment.
We will always look back to this table, post-MD8 of WC100 Qualifying, and say that the Huuhkajat were 7-0-0.


Mitä tuuli tuo meille seuraavaksi?
NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

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SCHEDULE/AJOITTAA (Group 17)
MD1: vs Veleste (300) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki W 3-1
MD2: @Anonyymimuna [Anonymegg] (UR) W 2-1
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MD3: BYE
MD4: vs Bhumi Matawisin Imperiumi [Bhumi Matawis Empire] (208) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki W 5-2
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MD5: @Suur-Portugaliza [Greater Portugaliza] (381) W 6-2
MD6: vs Sel Appa (147) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat W 11-2
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MD7: @Etelä-Kerala [South Kerala] (307) W 2-0
MD8: vs Sarzoninen [Sarzonia] (36) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat W 3-2
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MD9: @Aleirave (28) - Reko'uho Fekelu Stadium, New Alikonor
MD10: @Veleste (300)
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MD11: vs Anonyymimuna [Anonymegg] (UR) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat
MD12: BYE
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MD13: @Bhumi Matawisin Imperiumi [Bhumi Matawis Empire] (208) - Tanjung Kalapa Stadium, Labuanjaya
MD14: vs Suur-Portugaliza [Greater Portugaliza] (381) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat
----------------------------------------------------------------
MD15: @Sel Appa (147)
MD16: vs Etelä-Kerala [South Kerala] (307) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki
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MD17: @Sarzoninen [Sarzonia] (36)
MD18: vs Aleirave (28) - The Nest [Pesä], Kimi Kaupunki

[Saterun]

Finally back on home soil after a disappointing trip to Tristan de Cunha, Handrix wanted to ensure that his Claws got a result. They hadn't accelerate up the group as fast as he had hoped, and there was still lots of ground to make up. Racetrack Road, in Anasb, was booming this afternoon, and he knew the difference that a supportive home crowd could make. He just needed to tap it. Today would mark Adrian Schlimme's first (of many, hoped Handrix) start, with Maksymillian Bates on the bench. Sülimein Kalemanu would also start after his superb performance in the last match, and Handrix also wanted to rest Hans-Jürgen Becker. Other than that, the line-up was the same as usual. This was a prime opportunity for the Claws to put some points on the board, and hopefully continue to climb in the group.

Similar to the game against Valladares, this match started off heavily in favor of the Claws. They pressed with renewed energy, and started getting some shots off almost immediately. However, they weren't as clinical as they had been previously, and the Elmyia keeper was getting to every shot. As the minutes wore on, Handrix knew that the team needed something to galvanize them. The perfect opportunity struck in the 32nd minute. Brought down just outside the box, Vidar Washington was standing over a freekick. It was prime shooting range, and as the midfielder looked over to Handrix, the manager gestured for him to go for it. The opposition had barely gotten one shot so far, so it was still fine to take risks. Washington ran up to the ball and struck it well, managing to just lift it over the wall. However, it wasn't clear where it would end up. It curled towards goal, and the keeper made leaping dive. The ball crashed against the underside of the post, and went straight down. In these situations, Handrix knew just how significant luck to be. Fortunately for the Claws, the ball bounced backwards into the goal. Vidar Washington had put them up 1-0 with a worldie of a freekick.

At halftime, Handrix knew he needed to steel his squad. They were in a good place, but couldn't afford to let it slip. He made one change, bringing on Abbas Alil for Masoud Shain, but that was it. It was up to the players to see this off. However, he did have one ace up his sleeve. In Kameron Boyd's notes, he had found a page about Adrian Schlimme. The notes highlighted the fact that he was excellent at one-two plays, and could be key in breaking down a staunch defense. Just before the team went back out for the second half, Handrix pulled Schlimme and Caesar Ibañez aside. He instructed them to increase their one-two plays, and make more runs through. This strategy required a high amount of chemistry, something that Handrix wasn't sure if they had, but he needed to try to unlock this Elmyia defense.

Although it wasn't immediately apparent, the strikers were following their new instructions perfectly. Some good judgement on the part of the opposition defenders prevented anything from happening early, but they were consistently getting into good positions. Finally, in the 71st minute, everything fell into place. A darting run from Washington dragged a defender out of position, freeing up Schlimme. Ibañez played the ball to his other striker before quickly breaking through the line. Schlimme saw exactly what was happening, and played a crisp return pass right into the path of Ibañez. The Wirr Tsi man took the ball in stride, and was well away from any defenders in only a second. The Elmyia keeper came out to try to close down the angle, but Ibañez powered his shot past the outstretched legs to double Saterun's lead. Knowing that 2-0 was a dangerous scoreline, Handrix made some defensive substitutions. The Claws closed down the rest of the game for a hard-fought victory.

[Edsmontik]

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YET ANOTHER VICTORY FOR THE EAGLES

Friday, 10/22/2032
Written by Seu Saz-Keltzar

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Edsmontik secured another win, this time against former group leaders Osterhalten. After a mediocre start to the qualifying stage of the 100th World Cup, Edsmontik is now finally getting a grip, shown especially though this and last game's win. However, they still have things to improve on, as some mistakes were made in the back.

The Edsmons started out the first half with the ball, choosing to hold possession at first rather than taking their chances. Ystermakt claimed the ball after the kickoff backheel, sending it farther back to Javarqa. The defense played around with the ball for a bit, knowing that they could lure the Osterhaltiennes into moving in. The Eagles' plan was pretty successful, with the opposing attackers moved past the centerline and near the midfielders.

The Osterhaltienne advance was quickly followed by a lob up into the air by Ghreksbvy, who took the ball right from Vikral. Maktholm Ghreksbvy lobbed the ball up and over Mazzini to Reiovus, who quickly took a touch and slipped past the next midfielder in his way. The Edsmon front three charged forward, exchanging the ball to move past the defense and get to goal. Eventually, Stuero got to take a shot from just outside the box, barely missing as Peabody headered it out.

What followed next was pure chaos. Ghreksbvy's corner was headered by Javarqa towards net, but the ball bounced off the crossbar. The Osterhaltienne keeper punched the ball up, and three players followed. Two of them were opposing defenders, and one was Jerav Travdt. Travdt barely managed to scrap the ball towards the net, but once again, it was a header that deflected off the bar. This time, the ball had flown farther out in the box, where a header from Ystermakt kept it alive. Reiovus dived towards the then falling ball, getting a header off that unfortunately deflected off another defender. The ball continued in a chaotic cycle before it was cleared directly at Rehcikt who managed to block it and fire a shot that just barely went into the net.

The rest of the first half did not have much excitement other than a 34th minute equalizer from Osterhalten's Rothmann, followed by a response just five minutes after, which was completed by Maktholm Ghreksbvy's free kick. So far, the game had been going well for the Edsmons. With a 2-1 lead against a strong opponent, there was not too much left they could ask for.

The second half started slowly, with now slightly rotated squads battling it out. The Eagles managed some shots during their attacks, but they mostly came to nothing. The Osterhaltiennes also had plenty of chances and were now starting to edge closer and closer to Lankiv. Sabmar Lankiv, who had been mostly resting in the back the entire first half, was now a little more active in the second. He had to catch more crosses, save more shots, and block more dangerously close free kicks. It started to look worse for him once Javarqa got a yellow card, as if the defense remained incautious, Edsmontik could get a red card and be down a defender.

Luckily for the Eagles, in the 78t minute, things would begin to change. Reuhans, who was now on for Ghreksbvy, received a message from der-Ghavyr about a small change that he quickly spread to the rest of the team. According to him, it was a thing that the Eagles had missed thus far. All it took was for a little bit of scanning the field for the Edsmons to finally understand the openings that der-Ghavyr pointed out. Just minutes after, the Eagles exploited small openings in the opposing 4-4-2 formation that led to a goal from distance by none other than Stuero.

Edsmontik would end off matchday 7 of the qualifiers by unfortunately conceding a second goal to Rothmann in stoppage time. It was not what they necessarily wanted, but it was enough. They had topped the group leaders and were now holding the top spot. That was all they needed.

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MILITARY HISTORY SHOWCASE WEEK 4 - THE WYVRE MASTERPIECE

Sunday, 10/24/2032
Written by Salzen Beirborgd

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Edsmon Military Showcase

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Week 1 - Week 2 - Week 3 - Week 4

The E1 'Wyvre' is known as the masterpiece of old Edsmon tanks. It was also the first Edsmon tank to officially use tracks as opposed to offroad wheels. The E1 as so widely developed that it lasted from its birth in the late 1920s all the way to the 1960s before the tank was completely redesigned. Yes, this tank had nine different variants, so many for the time that the Edsmons almost lost track of which was which.

The E1 was put in the E category as it was an inbetween in terms of size and weight for the future V and L class tanks. 'E' was chosen to be the letter designating the class as a man named Korsar Evich was a very powerful army general who served in ancient Vdes. Meanwhile, the tank's nickname, the Wyvre, comes from an ancient Vdesic holiday called Wyvrius De, or 'Weapon Day', where swords were shown off by the army to the people in parades.

(insert image)
The E1X1 and E1X2 Wyvre

The E1X1 and E1X2 were launched into service at the exact same time, that being 1928. Being the first tank to feature tracks, some drivers struggled to get used to how the E1 was slower than the L1 or even the V1. Both the E1X1 and X2 models had 60mm cannons, however, their hulls were a little different. The X1 had rounded sides, while the X2 had flat sides. This was mostly done as an experiment; however, it was quickly determined that Edsmontik was struggling to make rounded panels for the E1X1. Therefore, it was deployed less compared to the X2, however, it did fare slightly better in combat. That was, until the quality of the X1 decreased and cracks were forming in the rounded armor.

(insert image)
The E1X3, E1X4, and E1X5 in order from left to right.

The E1X3, X4, and X5 variants were developed in 1930s with flat sided hulls and different cannons. The E1X3 was a slightly more modernized version of the E1X2, the only difference being that the armor was thicker and Reddor's new R-Series 5 engine was inside. The X4 and X5 featured the same build as the E1X3, except they had 65 and 70mm cannon widths respectively. At this point, the E1X5 now had the largest cannon of any Edsmon tank, besting even the Weirbel at this point in time. That record wouldn't remain for long though, as the V2X1 and V2X2 Tevach models with 73mm cannons and new explosive-packed shells would take the lead.

(insert image)
The E1X6 and E1X7 models

The E1X6 was developed in 1941, modernizing the just outdated E1X3 again. The tank now had armor covering the wheel bay and featured the Reddor R-Series 6 V12 engine. It also now had a powered turret rotation system, and two machine guns. One was in the tank next to the drive, and the other was fitted onto the roof next to the entrance hatch. It saw service just months after development, appearing in many Karmic conflicts and even some overseas in the neighboring region Icor. The E1X7 was even more different, being the first Edsmon tank to have rockets. Attached above the tank was a rack of unguided rockets, which could be fired with the click of a button. It was useful for bases and also tanks that were pretty weak already. However, the E1X7 would be extremely flawed in how enemies could just shoot the missiles to blow up the whole tank. The X7 only saw limited combat, as once the enemy figured out how to take it down, it was over for the tank.

(insert image)
The E1X8 and E1X9 models

The E1X8 and E1X9 models were developed as a final effort to modernize the revolutionary E1. They brought in late 40s technology and larger cannons as well. A new hull design was made for these two tanks, which had 75 and 78mm cannons respectively. The X8 was deployed first in the Wedichian conflicts but was shortly followed by the E1X9 just a year after the X8. Both tanks were very successful, especially the X9, which had a medium sized retractable hand-powered shovel that could dig out hiding spots if given the time. Combined with its strong armor, which was a few mm thicker than the X8, and the large 78mm cannon, the X9 struck fear into almost every enemy. It truly was a revolution deserving of its title as Karmic Masterpiece.

The only other tank that could do such a thing was none other than... The Edsmon V2 Tevach, which will be covered next week.

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HATTRICK IN THE KONSTANTINO NET

Monday, 10/25/2032
Written by Seu Saz-Keltzar

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The Eagles, holding Konstantino in Touve, were ready to deal some damage. After the last match's 3-2 win away to Osterhalten, the Eagles knew they had lots to do while the Osterhaltiennes were no longer leading. This lead was meant to be held. So going into the Suberarenae, Edsmontik had to do anything they could to keep first place. Konstantino was not a powerful opponent, but any complacency would possibly lead to a downfall that the Eagles wouldn't be able to control.

Going into the first half, Konstantino started with the ball, making it not too far before Ystermakt intercepted a pass and sent the ball all the way up to Ghreksbvy. After a pass to the Eagles' captain Stuero, it was mostly exchanges of the ball between the front row from there. Occasionally, the Konstantinoans would barely get a touch on a pass, but one of the Edsmons would be ready and intercept that touch. The game continued in this fashion until the 23rd minute.

Edsmontik had not been playing too well thus far, messing up a few shots that led to goal kicks. However, in the 23rd minute, all it took was one lob over Stuero- a sort of "recreation" of an old goal by Vykren der-Tylvan, that led to a phenomenal volley. That shot curved right and soared directly into the top corner of the net. With that, it was 1-0 to Edsmontik.

The remainder of the first half saw back-and-forth exchanges between the two teams. Occasionally, the Konstantinoans got closse to the box, but the Edsmons were able to kick them out.

Beginning the second half was a quick second goal by Maartin Stuero. All it took was for a small open space in the midfield to secure a 2-0 lead. It began with Utravak's pass to Rehcikt, who moved the ball upfield by passing it off to Fruedenne. Fruedenne slipped the ball past Konstantinoan midfield. He took some risky but rewarding dribbles down the field, before releasing a powerful cross into the box.

One, two, three headers. The first came from Utravak, the second from a defender, and the third one was from Utravak again. The ball rolled out to Stuero just outside the box who instantly took a chance. The striker slammed his foot into the ball sending it flying at an almost uncomprehensible speed. It barely missed a defender and finished post-down, ending with huge cheers and celebrations from the fans.

It didn't take too long before Edsmontik to grab yet another goal, once again from Stuero. As he had been so close to a hattrick, Vlakish Bervaign, who had just come on, decided to give up his chance for the Edsmon captain. According to him, it was "the least" that he could do for the man who had "helped build Edsmontik's national team into what it was now." Stuero took that shot low, with the ball curving directly into the back of the net. He did not forget who helped him get that hattrick, so he celebrated with Bervaign.

Not too long later, the final whistle would blow, signaling that the Edsmon Eagles would continue to hold that top spot.

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Want to Read More? View the Topics Below!
Edsmontik Unveils: The E30X2 Karmic Dominator - Ezey Motors Announces New Project in the Form of Space Travel - Ilsen Joltezen Published New Novel "Northern Skies"

[img]https://i.postimg.cc/nzkHSzdt/Screenshot-2025-11-04-200154.png][/img]

[Captina Island]

Captina in solid second spot as halfway mark arrives
The Captina Company Press Association

The Captina Company National Team have reached the ninth matchday of World Cup Qualifying sitting only three points behind group leaders Eshialand, having lost only once in the competition to date.

They will face off against newcomers Montagne Noire before starting on the back half of the fixture list with a visit to Britonisea on MD 10, as Group 30 have one of the few tables in qualifying where the top two ranked sides are holding true to their seeding.

One novel aspect of the 270 nation tournament this far is that there are no sides who remain pointless with a match remaining in the first half of play; there have been far more than fair share of surprise results across the course of play, while just a handful of nations remain with unblemished records--12 teams have won 7 matches without a loss, including Siovanija & Teusland and Darmen in Group 25 who will face one another on MD 9, while Kamijiro in Group 27 have the full 24 points from 8 played and will have a bye before setting off on the return legs of their schedule guaranteeing that there will at the very least will be one perfect record.

[Pasarga]

For the second time in a few months, he was once again being fussed over by his sisters and her ladies in waiting, trying to make sure he looked all prim and proper for another formal outing representing the crown. While going to a football match to represent the crown down the street at the Stade de Torgos was one thing, he was not sure he liked his sudden elevation in station and the constant need to be a face to represent the crown. He had his own desires and goals he wanted to pursue, especially now that he was not facing the idea that he would be soon to be sitting upon the throne and tending to the needs of the nation. While he loved his sister, as well as his cousin, the sudden need for him to be traveling to and fro to be representing the house in public relations affairs was going to get a bit tedious. Especially if it was going to come with little to no warning and without that much input from himself as to when he would and would not be available to go out into the public, he had to cancel plans to travel to Sargossa when Azra called and requested his presence at the palace for an public outing.

"Dear sister, you know that I love and adore you, yet I have my own life to live and I had to cancel plans that I had made months ago to come and do whatever public event you are wanting to take part in. Would it be so much trouble as to be notified weeks or at least days ahead of time instead of less than twenty-four hours before whenever you want me to make some sort of appearance? I'm out a few hundred ducats as well as the opportunity to see a popular rock star in person with this cancellation." Iskander said, with pleading eyes as Azra seemed to be looking over him and trying to get the right measure of how her brother was presenting herself.

"Money is money brother, I am sure if you contact the right people you can at least get a partial refund and if not, I will spot you whatever you lost on the occasion. At any rate Iskander, this is not any normal public function you are attending to be a royal face to the Pasargan people, you are going to be traveling abroad over the weekend to attend upon a royal invitation from Banija. Unfortunately, this is another invitation to football games, as they are set to be playing two home matches over the course of a few days and we were invited to attend. This would be a good opportunity for you to go out and meet with some of the more important people in the world and that besides there are two members of the Banija royal family who are around your age and single. Maybe you might hit it off with one of these fine ladies, I believe one of them is even an accomplished athlete herself, so there could be a bit of an in for some conversation there. You have talked about wanting to do your part for the family and this looks to be a wonderful opportunity to do so, all while getting to see another part of the world for a week.!"

Iskander frowned a bit, he had wanted to do his part for the family but had not felt the pressing need to want to seek out the courtship, at least not in this matter, much less having to try and do so while attending another one or two of these football matches. "Sister, you know I am committed to doing whatever I can for the family but does this not seem a bit much? I do not even really enjoy sports and while it was fine enough to smile and root on for our own team, I am not sure how much I may be able to mask that sort of enthusiasm for not one but two games completely divorced of our own interests! Would it not be better to host some sort of ball or gala and invite various other nobles and royals from across the land like times of old?"

It was Azra's time to frown as her brother was once more not seeing beyond what was in front of his face. "This was a royal invitation from one of the most powerful families in all of the world. Banija is one of the most powerful nations in all of the world, not just Arrosia, not just among her neighboring regions, but all of the world my sweet brother. This is not an official courtship offer but clearly both parties would benefit if there happened to be some chemistry between you or one of the two young ladies. If there is not, there is no harm or foul and you would have had a paid vacation to one of the more interesting nations in all of the world and when you get home we can perhaps see about a ball if that is really something you want to pursue. Give it a chance, you might have some fun, maybe you make a friend, maybe you make something more than a friend, but at least give it a real chance. We miss all the shots that we do not take and not taking this opportunity feels like you would be missing out on a very rare chance to do something not many get to."

"Fine fine, I will pack a suitcase and take whatever flight you have booked. I promise I will give it a chance sister but I will make no more than that." Azra said, resigned to his fate, but knowing that Azra was likely right, this likely was a once in a lifetime opportunity and he would be quite remiss to pass it up. If nothing else, he was getting to go experience all the wonder and majesty of Banija, a nation he had heard so much about, for good and ill, and to get to see it himself would be quite the treat.

[Aleirave]

Put the Pieces Together
Aleirave 5-3 Veleste
Anonymegg 2-1 Aleirave

"King William, thank you so much for getting here so quickly..." Malako said as the king's ship arrived in the Port of Lahaira.
"You really need to invest in a better way of getting here, I'm sick of wasting 2 days every time I need to visit."
"Why didn't you fly into HOT-DAMN and take the boat from there?"
"I... uh... didn't think to do that. Anyway, what's all gone horribly wrong?"
"Well... I mean... the island seems to be running itself, but we really need someone to help steer that running in the right direction!"
"You called me here as if it was urgent and there's nothing in specific I should actually be doing? So why exactly am I here if Aleirave doesn't need me at all?"
"Because you never know when something will come up. Back at home, you have a parliament to sort things out, but out here the Island Council can't do anything to bail us out."
"I may as well have just gone to the Kia'u Islands, at least there's some interesting developments going on over there..."

Malako was floored. At first, the king thought it was because he was calling the Sunshine Isle a "boring" place. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that I don't love Aleirave, it's just--" however, Malako quickly made it clear that he wasn't reading it as the king feared... but rather in a much more unexpected way.

"What do you mean there are interesting things in the Kia'u Islands?" Malako asked him. "There hasn't been contact with the people there since the Tereyev years started, and I doubt any sort of civilization, let alone an Aleiravan one, is there now. There can't possibly be a reason why--"

"I'm sorry, I've said too much."
"No, I don't think you've said quite enough." Malako said. "Please, tell us all about the things going on in the Kia'u Islands."

King William proceeded to spill the beans about all of the archaeological happenings going on on Te'ufole, as well as the construction of New Alikonora... conveniently, however, leaving out any details which might point to the idea of Haulafo and company sneaking off to them. He knew Haulafo wouldn't want him saying a word about that.

"Why weren't we made aware of this beforehand?" Malako asked. "These are our cultural artifacts you're digging up, you can't just not tell us..."

"Dr. Vake'ora Te'ahori told me all was good with doing such a mission, and she's the foremost expert on everything Aleiravan culture in Eshialand. And besides," he said with a bit of a snide tone, "we did try telling you, but your government was too shut down to listen."

Malako didn't appreciate this attempt at childish humor, but he wasn't about to tell off the Petake, either. "Wait, give me a second..." he said, suspecting something might be up with the timing of all of this.

He then whipped out his phone, and pulled up the m.esh video that Ketereho Evatene posted a few weeks before. He remembered something about Katya's teammate's brother being a budding historian, and all of the suspicions were there... he looked at brief snippets of the landscape in the background, and compared them to old woodblock prints of the island of Te'ufole. "Oh dearest Ta'anehupa..." he said, "that's where Haulafo is. It's all real."

Malako was officially the first person on the island to know what happened to Haulafo and Katya. They weren't gone... the Seagulls were still playing, and nobody on the island was allowed to see it.

[Soviet Kem]

---

By: Stev Burlam

Group 14
Match Day 9:
Soviet Kem (200) v Kandorith (109)
Match Day 10:
Soviet Kem (200) v Shiverian Republics (UR)

3-2-2-1-2 Formation
Starting XI

GK 6 Zoinski
CB 58 Kenidky
LCB 19 Gente
RCB 17 Jent
LDM 50 Mosjow
RDM 52 Wnetia
LCM 10 Putanik (Captain)
RCM 56 Genish II
SS 29 Gligimesh
LST 23 Nort
RST 20 Fengski

---

Ahead of matchdays 9 & 10 Ken Stavisk mentioned in a pre-game conference, "We have a challenge ahead of us in Kandorith. They are sitting third in the table for group 14, with them coming off of a 6-3 win over Shiverian Republics. We are currently only separated by one point, meaning that we must win. As for Shiverian Republics, every other team with information has come away with at least a two-goal win, meaning that I am expecting us to still fight, but we should cruise to an easy victory."

With this statement by Ken Stravisk I am expecting a close game against Kandorith, but with their fluid hyper-attacking style of football, I am concerned that our defense may be overwhelmed. The attacking style should be emulated, but to a lesser extent, by Soviet Kem, but I am not Bahav Xakin, so I am not advocating for Ken Stavisk to be sacked. I am just one who wants to see Soviet Kem to succeed on the international stage, and if that means adapting, that means adapting. As for our game against Shiverian Republics, everyone is expecting an easy win, given Shiverian Republics' current form. I think that it will be a close game, due to the first time that we played them we only won 1-0, but who is to say, the future is a mystery, and that goes for both games.